#seems like the least you can do to not get that guy elected again

[fluorescentbrains]

i know that the biden administration is um severely mishandling the situation to say the least but given the deranged shit all the republican candidates are saying about palestinians i don’t think abstention from voting is the move

#unfortunately i don’t think there’s time to primary biden nor is there anyone with the political force to achieve that #and as for tr*mp. he’s out demagogueing abt how he’ll cancel visas for protesting israel #seems like the least you can do to not get that guy elected again #for state reps there might be some primaries worth paying attention to also…

[enigma2meagain]

🚨🚨 URGENT! Congress trying to pass anti-LGBT bill under the guise of “child safety”!

UPDATE 09/05/2023:

Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of her bigotry

So Marsha Blackburn, in her infinite wisdom, decided to admit in an interview with the bigoted Family Policy Alliance that the Kids Online Safety Act is a GIANT anti-transgender bill (or at the least, it’s so poorly written that it makes targeting transgender people easier). Naturally, after this blunder, she and Blumenthal are trying to do damage control. But WE have the videos, and people’s responses to this open confession in the links below:

Alejandro Caraballo’s Tweet with the Video.

Erin Reed’s followup article

Attempts at damage control commented on by Ari Drennen

PinkNews’ article about it.

Beacon Broadside Article

Mashable Article

So with all that in mind, please make way to the Bad Internet Bills website to tell your Senators that you STRONGLY advise them to drop their support/refuse to support this awful bill in light of this, or that their re-election chances will drop considerably.

-----

UPDATE 02/14/2023: Richard Blumenthal is a lying snake who’s trying to get both KOSA and EARN IT Act back into law.

He persistently continues to ignore all of the backlash against these bills, the criticisms and highlighting the serious flaws of the bill by numerous human rights and LGBTQ organizations, and it’s telling that there seems to be no one who opposed the bill at the hearings today.

Fortunately, there are those are speaking up against it, such as Evan Greer from Fight For The Future.

Keep your eyes and ears open. We will be hearing more about these bills as time goes on.

----

UPDATE 01/30/2023: Well, Chuck Schumer has chosen to backstab human rights and pro- LGBTQ communities, as well as the internet by trying to fast-track KOSA. The time table is as follows:

REINTRODUCTION OF THE BILL IN FEBRUARY

HOLDING MARKUPS IN MARCH

And holding a floor vote in JUNE

https://twitter.com/evan_greer/status/1620088145554579456

KEEP IN MIND, this was the man who blocked legitimately good anti-Big Tech bills like AICOA on the pretense they would be “too much”, but was perfectly fine with the travesty of KOSA.

This man is in Big Tech’s pockets, because only they can afford to pay the fines that such a restrictive pro-censorship bill would enforce. The only people this bill helps are the exact people it claims to stop, while LGBTQ people have to pay the price for the greed of the corrupt congressmen and women.

All of the relevant links are still below, but I will be updated this as we go.

---

UPDATE 01/17/2023: Nothing has happened yet, but there have been rumblings of our “favorite” Senator Blumenthal talking about trying to push KOSA in again. I’ll mostly be keeping an eye on things for now, and you guys should too on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media and news outlets.

---

UPDATE 12/20/2022: KOSA BILL HAS NOT BEEN INCLUDED IN THE FINAL OMNIBUS BILL! WE DID IT!

https://twitter.com/evan_greer/status/1605261800479547392

That being said, this is very much a reprieve, since Blumenthal and Blackburn, and their cohorts have made it clear they intend to get this bill back into Congress next year. But WE DID IT. We managed to get this bill stopped from being added in the omnibus bill.

I want to thank all of you who helped to reblog this post, signed the various petitions and the open letter, and especially if you went and called your Senators. Without your effort, this might have turned out VERY differently!

Thank you all, and I hope the rest of this year is a pleasant one!

----

So, this is a particularly long post, but it’s an absolutely IMPORTANT ONE. PLEASE REBLOG! LIKING IS USELESS!

UPDATE 12/14/2022: Two weeks ago, 90+ human rights, LGBT, and tech orgs signed onto an open letter telling Senators NOT to pass this bill. in response, over 230 orgs led by the American Psychological Association signed a letter urging senators to push this bill forward.

An updated version of the bill has been pushed forward by Senators Blumenthal and Blackburn, who claim to have changed the bill in response to feedback, but insight by the likes of Evan Greer and Ari Cohn have made it clear that the changes are superficial at best, and arguably fail to properly address the problems of the original bill.

https://twitter.com/evan_greer/status/1603139423071309825

We got blindsided by this, and we REALLY need your help!

Further explanation HERE: https://www.tumblr.com/fullhalalalchemist/703545300138262528/urgent

POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA like Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, etc. about your opposition to this! The more voices speaking out the better, and we can’t do this alone!

The Hashtags are:

#KOSA

 #STOPKOSA

 #KidsOnlineSafetyAct

“Kids Online Safety Act” (no hashtag and quotes, just the regular words)

And PLEASE call your Senators at (202-224-3121).

ESPECIALLY CALL THESE THREE, SINCE THEY ARE THE MAJOR PEOPLE WHO COULD END UP PUTTING THE BILL INTO THE OMNIBUS/MUST PASS SPENDING BILL:

Maria Cantwell [phone]

Chuck Schumer [phone]

Nancy Pelosi [phone]

LINKTREE WITH ALL INFO HERE: https://linktr.ee/stopkosa

----

ORIGINAL POST:

In a particularly scummy move, the Kids Online Safety Act is going to be put into the must pass end of year spending bill: www.axios.com/…

The two laws best positioned to get rolled into big year-end legislative packages, according to advocates and lawmakers, are:

The Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA), which would require platforms to guard kids from harmful content using new features and safeguards and to make privacy settings "on" by default for children. The law also mandates privacy audits and  more transparency about privacy policies.

At first glance, the bill doesn’t sound bad, since it’s about helping “protect children” online. But like every “protect the children” type law, this would censor the internet of anything “harmful” to children aka any LGBT, NSFW, or whatever the Right doesn’t like, force everyone to upload their govt ID’s to even access anything online, and surveil everyone else. Gutting everyone’s privacy in an era where we see massive state violence and encroaching fascism globally. This is not only pushed by the same people (Senator Richard Blumenthal and Marsha Blackburn) who created the awful EARN IT Act, but also has many of the same flaws, such as pro-censorship, anti LGBT resources and content, and pro-mass surveillance.

But the biggest problem, as Mike Stabile has pointed out, is HOW the mechanism to which this works: The State Attorney General.

This addition would allow states like Texas and Florida to sue companies for having LGBTQ+ content, along with sex education resources, incentivizing these platforms to ban that content. To be more specific, the bill allows the state attorney general to sue if they believe that platforms do not protect minors from a list of harms that includes politicized terms like "grooming" which, as we've seen can include any sort of LGBTQ information, entertainment or literature.

RuPaul on TikTok?

A clip on transgender youth on Facebook?

A gay character in a Disney movie?

Suicide hotlines for gay youth?

Cue a suit from Texas or Florida targeting the entire web.

And the problem is that given the current political climate and the cruel behavior of a number of GOP aligned political groups in positions of power, this only ends up making things RIPE for abuse and mass censorship (since companies will probably end up choosing to acquiesce to their demands rather than risk being subject to liability) not to mention the damage this would cause to children who might need resources regarding LGBT or sex education.

Furthermore, the definition of “sexually exploitative material”, “grooming”, and “child porn” has been used in the past year to target transgender people, drag queens, and the wider LGBTQ+ community by likening their very existence as sexually violent. Yet another way this bill’s language will be used to target a community that is already facing violence. Every night, Fox News blasts a story on “sexualization of children '' to fear-monger around the LGBT community. One needs to not look any further than the right-wing ecosystem to see how KOSA would easily be weaponized.

This article by Mike Masnick on Techdirt also goes further into KOSA and its adjacent bills.

To make matters even worse, on top of the usual suspects of NCOSE ( They used to be called Morality in Media, and are a far right group disguised as an anti sex trafficking org infamous for being religious assholes who HATE anything to do with sex or LGBT) supporting this travesty of a bill, it’s been revealed that the Senate leader is claiming there’s no opposition.

This is literally giving the fascists a dangerous tool to abuse, all for the sake of political brownie points against ‘Big Tech’. A tool that far right groups like the Heritage Foundation have OPENLY stated will abuse to silence LGBTQ+ or sex-ed content for youth everywhere if it passes.

The ONLY way this works is by making sure who is and isn’t a minor is to have some form of age-verification scheme. And the only way to do that is through a third party like ID.me which has recently come under scrutiny for, you guessed it, data leaks. So everyone who accesses anything online will be forced to upload their govt IDs. How is this protecting anyone’s privacy?

With all that said, what can we do?

Well, the same thing we did for the EARN IT Act; we make a LOT of noise, and get the word out.

If you have read all of the above and want to fight this, sign this open letter against KOSA.

And PLEASE call your Senators at (202-224-3121).

ESPECIALLY CALL THESE THREE, SINCE THEY ARE THE MAJOR PEOPLE WHO COULD END UP PUTTING THE BILL INTO THE }OMNIBUS:

Maria Cantwell [phone]

Chuck Schumer [phone]

Nancy Pelosi [phone]

There is a call script with phone numbers here.

Fax them, email them. Tell them they MUST oppose this bill. CONTACT any major human rights, LGBT, and cybersecurity related organizations aligned and let them know about this bill, and the harm it can cause to LGBT rights and children! If you need more information on KOSA, we have a LINKTREE HERE.

EMPHASIZE THE HARM TO CHILDREN WHEN YOU CONTACT PEOPLE, SINCE THEY’RE TRYING TO CLAIM THAT THIS WILL HELP PROTECT CHILDREN’S PRIVACY, WHEN IT DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

There’s also a Petition by the Electronic Frontier Foundation  and from Fight For the Future.

#kosa #STOPKOSA #Stop Kids Online Safety Act #earnitact2.0 #lgbt #lgbtq #LGBT Rights #earnitact #lgbtq rights #Fuck you blumenthal #FUCK BLUMENTHAL #fuck blackburn

[itsjusthockey]

When The Party’s Over - Jack Hughes

I have a problem with writing angst and this is much longer than expected. I'm not sorry.

Big announcement coming soon. Get excited.

I'm needy, so the more love I receive, the more I write. So please follow, comment, repost, and talk to me. I really do cherish this blog and want to be more active

Anyway so yeah, come talk to me. Please, I want to know what you guys think.

Should there be a part two? I don't know

wc: 3,423 (credit to gif maker)(don’t steal my work)

Content warning: Swearing and light NSFW? I don’t know it’s not super explicit but it’s all my first time writing it and I’m not sure

Part 2

Don't you know I'm no good for you?

I've learned to lose you, can't afford to

Jack may not be much of a coffee guy, but he is nothing but a weak man when it comes to his favorite bagel place. It’s a regular part of his routine, a constant thing. He goes before practice, grabs his usual order, and then he’s gone.

Usually, he keeps his head down, Jersey isn’t the biggest place, and he likes to avoid attention on his mornings off. Yet, he lifts his head when his name is called and moves to thank the lady handing him his food and walk out when he quickly scans the room, his eyes stopping when he lands on a familiar face.

You’re sitting at a small table close to the edge of the room, surrounded by notebooks, highlighters, and staring hard at your computer. He takes a mental note of your concentrated state, knowing you’re probably in the zone, but he elects to ignore that fact as he makes his way toward your table.

You jump slightly when he takes a seat across from you, only to relax, just barely, when you see it’s him.

“Jesus, Jack,” You breathe out, “Scared the hell out of me.”

Jack can’t help but let a smirk take over his features, and his heart twinges a bit when you let a breathtaking smile take over your own face.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He teases. “What’re you doing here?”

You look at him briefly, then gesture vaguely to your coffee and your wide range of studying supplies. “Homework, or at least trying to.”

“Ah, I see.” He smiles again, relishing in the company of your presence; it’s been over a week since he last saw you.

“Anyway,” you scoot your chair closer to the table, “Come here often? Their bagels are great.”

Jack lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, almost every morning. It’s pretty close to my place and the rink.”

Once he finishes, a look of recognition crosses your features. “I knew this area seemed decently familiar.”

Jack nods, and he watches as you scan over the coffee shop, then finally rest your eyes back on him. The eye contact doesn’t last long, though, when your phone begins to buzz on the table, and you sneak a quick glance down. Jack can’t help but notice the slight smile after you read the message, and his heart falls ever so slightly.

You snap your eyes to meet his and place your phone face down on the table, leaning back in your chair. “Not that I don’t love this reunion in the daylight, but don’t you have somewhere to be?”

The question is fair, he does, in fact, have someplace to be, but if he’s honest with himself, the last thing he wants to do is remove himself from this chair across from you.

“Yeah, but being a little late never hurt anyone.”

You snort at his statement, rolling your eyes at him.

“Go to practice, Jack.”

He knows you’re right, he doesn’t want to leave, but with playoffs around the corner, he shouldn’t be here, no matter how much he wants to stay.

“You’re right,” As he gets up, he notices your almost empty coffee cup. “Can I at least get you a refill before I leave?”

You glance at your coffee, contemplate his offer, and shake your head. “I’m okay, Jack. Thanks anyway.”

He nods, grabs his bagel, and turns to leave, but not before he pauses and turns around again. “You busy tonight?”

Your eyes dart back up again, but before you answer, your phone buzzes again, and you glance down. You take a few seconds to read the message before you answer him.

“I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.”

You give him a warm smile, but there is also a hint of awkwardness behind it. He chooses to ignore the possibility of rejection and nods your way one last time, and makes his way out of the shop.

As he exits, he glances back to your table one last time, already seeing you consumed back into your schoolwork, forgetting he was ever there.

Jack knows he’s not the smartest guy in the world, but he’s smart enough to know when he’s fucked. The idea was not to fall in love, which is easier said than done. He couldn’t help it; it came out of nowhere. You’ve been sleeping together for a while, longer than both of you could care to admit. He knows that the arrangement is simple, and it works. You’re not his, he’s not yours.

But fuck, does he want you to be.

Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin’

But nothin' ever stops you leavin'

Jack gently traces his fingers along your skin, relishing in the feel of your curves beneath his touch. He watches in awe of how your body responds to every move he makes, and he can tell you’re close. Your fingers dig hard into his back, your head falls back ever so slightly, and he slows down his movements to the pace he knows drives you crazy.

To get you there, he concentrates. He knows your body like the back of his hand, but he still tries to watch your face for cues, even though you're not meeting his stare. He didn’t notice it right away when you started sleeping together, but now it’s hard to ignore. No matter what he’s doing, you always look away.

He desperately wants to see you, stare deep into your eyes, and show you, somehow, that when you’re beneath him, it's the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Tonight is different for him, and he needs you to look at him, to see him.

He pulls your face gently to look at him, and reaches down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. He makes sure he’s got your attention. Your pupils are blown with bliss, and the soft look goes give him makes him feel like he’s the only person in the world. Before he can stop himself, he presses his forehead to yours and lets himself fall deep into the endless pools of your eyes.

It’s intimate, you both know that, but for a moment, just that moment, you allow yourself to get lost in each other as you meet your highs.

Jack rides it out as long as possible, loving you in every way he knows how and making sure you feel just as good as him. When you both finally come down, your heavy mixed breathing filling the room, reality sinks in.

You’re the first to break, as always, gently pushing him off you. Jack watches silently as you get off the bed, grabbing various scattered clothing items and pulling them on. He watches with a mixture of longing and disdain. He knows you’re going to leave, you always do, but he can’t help but hope this time you’ll stay.

“Stop being a creep.” A playful grin plays on your face as you catch him staring, finishing pulling on your shirt.

He ignores your joke, “Where are you going?”

You shrug your shoulders way too casually.

“Not sure, maybe out?”

His heart sinks, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you’re killing him.

“You could stay? It’s pretty late.” He glances at the clock next to his bed.

The dry laugh you bark out makes him cringe.

“And risk running into the next girl? I’m okay, Jack; I’ll see you later.”

With that and a quick check of yourself, you leave. He’s left with his lingering thoughts and regrets. He knows you’re bad for each other, and he knows that this arrangement will eventually kill him, but he can’t seem to get away.

Jack hears the outside door slam, and he’s truly alone. He decides that his best option is to sleep you off, try to forget the way you felt in his arms and the way you make his heart feel like it’s about to burst. He falls back into his bed, staring at the ceiling. The sheets around him smell like the familiar scent of you, and he hates how it’s comforting. He feels himself falling deeper and deeper into himself, and you didn’t even know he was drowning.

He knows it’s best if he just tries to sleep, flush out any thoughts of you. He doesn’t need to think about where you are or who you’re with because you aren’t his, even though he’d do anything to make you love him as much as he loves you.

He thinks about the last comment you made. About another girl. He knows his reputation and the fact that many people think he’s a player. He’s not, though, and he wishes you knew there wasn’t another girl; it’s only you.

Don't you know too much already?

I'll only hurt you if you let me

Jack's eyes are fixed hard on your back, watching almost every move you make across the dimly lit bar. He can tell you’re relaxed, and your head is thrown back, laughing along with your friends. Though he isn’t close enough to hear the laugh that makes him happy and destroys him, his heart clenches anyway. You look like you’re having the best time in the world, and he can’t help but wonder if he’s crossed your mind, even once.

He is nursing a drink that is too watered down for his taste, and his focus is pulled back to you every time he manages to integrate himself back into his teammate's conversation. While he catches a few snippets here and there, he has no idea what the hell they’ve been talking about for the last twenty minutes, and he hopes they don’t notice that his attention has been elsewhere.

He isn’t that lucky, though, because Nico elbows him slightly in the ribs, leaning toward him.

“You okay, Jacky?”

He nods, feeling horrible. “Yeah, sorry.”

He knows he needs to focus, pay attention to the guys, and have a few drinks after a good week. So he tries, his absolute hardest, to keep his eyes off of you.

He lasts about five seconds, and when he looks back toward your table, you’re gone.

He quickly searches the room and sees you making your way toward the bar. It’s honestly embarrassing how fast he moves, and before he can stop himself, he removes himself from his table and makes a beeline toward you.

He reaches you just as you put in your order, throwing the bartender a thousand-watt smile and leaning ever so slightly over the counter. When you finally notice someone beside you and turn to face him, It’s the brief look of unrecognition that practically kills him.

“Jack?” You recover quickly, slipping on a bright smile. “What’re you doing here?”

He stares hard for a second, unsure if you’re messing with him. He knows he’s told you this is his team's favorite bar, but when you’re still waiting for his answer, he clears his throat.

“Uh, it’s the bar closest to the rink,” He hates the sound of his voice. “I’m here with the guys.”

Your eyes flash behind him to his teammates, and a sly smirk takes over your features.

“Well, don’t they look like fun?”

He lets out a light laugh, “They are.”

The bartender interrupts the conversation, setting down your various drinks. You go to hand him your card, but Jack beats you to it.

“It’s on me.” He hands over his Amex before you can protest, and you shoot him a look he can’t decipher.

“You don’t have to buy my drinks, Jack.”

He shrugs his shoulders as if it’s nothing.

You thank him and the bartender as you pick up the drinks.

“Need help?” Jack asks, watching you struggle to get the last glass.

You finally grasp the cup and flash him another smile. “I got it. Thanks again, Jack.”

As quickly as you came, you were gone, heading back to your table where your friend celebrate your arrival as if you’ve been away for years. Jack watches as you all cheers your drinks, and his heart warms a bit when you catch his eye one more time, winking and raising your glass to him ever so slightly.

He nods and heads back to his own table, determined that at the end of the night, he will get to you somehow. He only wants to have you within reach, talking with his teammates or dragging him out to the dance floor. Above all else, he wants you in his arm. So, he texts you, hoping you’ll invite him over and the night will officially begin, and he can be happy. He waits and continues to glance your way.

You never respond.

Call me friend but keep me closer

And I'll call you when the party's over

When Jack's phone buzzes loudly on his nightstand the first time, he ignores it. It’s late, and he has a big game tomorrow. When it buzzes again and continues, signaling an incoming call, he finally shifts his weight and grabs it.

It’s been a week since he saw you at the bar and even longer since you’d texted. You’ve also never called, which causes his heart to beat a little faster than it should. He presses answer.

“Hello?” He asks, hearing some brief static on the other end.

“Jack?”

Your voice sounds small, and he immediately sits up straighter in bed, suddenly wide awake.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”

He hears your sigh softly on the other end.

“Honestly,” You hiccup, “No. I’m wasted, and my best friend has my apartment keys, and they all don’t want to leave, but I feel sick, and my phone is almost dead, and I didn’t know who else to call in Jersey, and I-“

You continue rambling, and Jack can hear you softly sniffling in between words, and It takes him less than ten seconds to throw on a shirt, pants, and make a beeline toward his Range Rover keys.

“(Y/N)” He finally interrupts you, “Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

He doesn’t hear you for a moment, and he thinks for a second that you hung up.

“No.” You suddenly say sternly, as if you just realized you called him. “Fuck, I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have called you.”

As you finish, Jack can sense the panic starting to rise in your voice, and he knows that you’re falling deeper into your own head, and he has to pull you out before you disappear.

“Hey, don’t say that. But please, send me your location.”

“No.” You repeat, “You have a game tomorrow. You should be asleep.”

Jack's heart skips a beat when you mention his game. He didn’t know you followed his schedule. His mind begins to run a million places, different places, until he grounds himself and remembers the problem at hand.

“(Y/N),” He says it as hard as he can to force you into telling him where you are. “I’m not gonna be able to sleep until I know you’re home safe. Send me your location.”

It’s silent on the other end of the line, and after a moment, his phone lights up with your pinned location.

“Do not move. I’m about fifteen minutes away. Okay?”

“Okay.” You whisper back to him.

What should have been fifteen minutes turns into less than ten as Jack ignores every driver's safety training he’s ever had. He would do anything to be able to teleport to you, but instead, he goes as fast as he can.

When he pulls up to the crowded bar and doesn’t see you outside, he’s instantly filled with worry. His pulse continues to build until he sees you a small distance away from the entrance, sitting on the curb with your head in your hands.

As soon as he parks, rather badly, he bolts out of the car toward you. When he gets within a few feet of your form, your head snaps up. He watches as a mix of emotions crosses your face, and his heart finally does crumple when he sees a tear slide down your cheeks. It takes everything in him not to wipe it away as he kneels in front of you.

“Can you stand?” He asks softly.

You slowly nod, and he takes both your hands, helping you get to your feet. He watches as you wobble a bit too far to the left, and he catches you in his arms.

The second you’re in his hold, you melt into his touch, and he hates the way that he his entire body finally relaxes, knowing you are safe and in his arms.

Jack continues to steady you, feeling the weight of your body against his. He can smell the alcohol on your breath, and you’re way too cold for his liking after sitting outside. He grabs your shoes and phone and begins walking you toward his car. Once you’re there, he gets you into the vehicle, buckles you in, and hands you a bottle of water he’d thankfully grabbed from the fridge.

“There we go,” he says, making sure you’re set.

Your eyes follow him as he climbs into the driver's seat, and once he turns the car on, you break the silence.

“Thank you, Jack.” You whisper, your head falling a bit toward the window.

Jack focuses on the road as he makes his way back toward his apartment. He knows you’re in no state to be brought home alone, and he’d never forgive himself if something happened to you.

“Jack?” You speak again, and he hums. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He means it. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

He turns to face you briefly, and he has never seen you look so sad, and it crushes him all over again. He wants to talk to you, figure out what’s going wrong in that beautiful mind of yours, and do anything to fix it. But he knows that this conversation can be had at a later date. Instead, he turns on a radio, and when he steals another glance at your figure, you are asleep.

Jack drives slowly and carefully to his apartment, knowing he has the most precious cargo to him sitting in the passenger seat. When he finally pulls into the parking ramp and turns off the car, you are still dead to the world.

He quickly unbuckles and moves to get you, gently trying to shake you awake.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he whispers, “we’re here.”

You let out a soft groan and rub your eyes. “Can’t I just stay here? It’s so comfy.”

You snuggle deeper into the seat, and Jack thinks he will die. You look so goddamn adorable, and it’s driving him insane that he can’t kiss you.

“Sorry baby,” the nickname slips before he can stop it. “I gotta get you inside.”

He smiles at your pouty face, and he unbuckles your seatbelt. He lifts you out of the car and sets you down for a second, grabbing your things and handing you his keys before scooping you back into his arms.

You softly hum in contentment as your head lolls against his chest. Jack thinks you’ve dozed off again until you open your eyes slightly.

“You're pretty strong," you slur. “Clearly, hockey is good for a person.”

Jack lets out a deep chuckle as you snuggle deeper into his hold, and after a few minutes of struggle to get through doorways without hitting you on something and teamwork to open his door, you’re safe in his apartment.

Twenty minutes later, he’s helped you take off your makeup because he knows your skin care is essential, he’s gotten you water and Advil, and you're wrapped in his clothes and lying beneath his duvet.

As he watches you breathe, gathering a few things to sleep on the couch, he can’t help but feel a sense of protectiveness wash over him. He wants nothing more than to climb next to you, but he’ll resist.

He stares a bit longer when suddenly your eyes peel open.

“You have a staring problem, Jack.”

Your tone is teasing, but his entire body grows hot, and all he wants is to get the hell out of his bedroom. He tries to make his escape, but not before you speak again, and it stops him dead in his tracks.

“You know, I broke my own heart loving you first.”

#hockey #hockey boys #hockey imagine #hockey x reader #imagine #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #hockey fic #nhl hockey #jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #new jersey #devils hockey #new jersey devils #nico hischier #nj devils #devils vs rangers #original writing

[fandomtrumpshate]

FTH 2023 Wrap-Up

Boy has it been a year, guys.

This seemed like the year when anything that could go wrong did, from covid to family emergencies to work obligations to software bugs. We're so grateful to you all for your patience and for coming back year after year to remind us why we do this.

Historically, non-election years have usually seen slumps in both our number of auctions and our donation totals. But this year? You guys blew us away yet again.

We had just as many auctions as last year, which is amazing. But even beyond that: our donation total —just 10% lower than last year's massive record— is 150% higher than our third best year, making it a very close second.

So are you ready for this year's grand total?

This year

thanks to all of you

FTH raised...

$47,361.75!

Which brings our seven-year total to

$239,507.86

Thank you so much to our 616 creators who offered 800+ auctions in over 400 different fandoms and subfandoms, and to everyone who bid! Also a special shoutout to our record 17 crafters who raised over $2500 of this - three times as much as any of our previous craft bazaars!

Your returning mods (@porcupine-girl, @captainbunnicula, @tiltedsyllogism, @anyawen, and @renjunbabygirl) would also like to give our heartfelt thanks to this year's two additions to the mod team, @trickybonmot (who has been a mod before but was returning after several-year absence) and @a-still-small-vox (who is brand new to this whole thing). Given everything that went down this year, the auction literally could not have happened without them. They've been ridiculously awesome.

Creators, be sure you contact your bidders by April 1, and bidders, on your end please respond to their communication by April 15!

Once the fanwork is posted, let us know via our form (can you believe six creators have already finished??) and if you're posting it on AO3 be sure to add it to the Fandom Trumps Hate 2023 collection. If you're writing a fic for FTH and need help from our Regiment of Fan Laborers, email us!

As always, we hope that for at least some people, your involvement in FTH will lead to continued action throughout the year. Sign up for our organizations' email lists, check out their volunteer opportunities, and help boost their signals on social media!

And if you'd like to run your own fanworks auction for a good cause, we can help get you started! Contact us at fandomtrumpshate at gmail.com and we can send you our auction playbook, as well as answer any questions you have about our process.

Your mods are going to be going into post-auction hibernation mode (or, for most of us, post-auction deal-with-all-this-other-stuff mode) for a little while. So if you email us, don't panic if we don't get back to you immediately! We will start actively monitoring the inbox again by April 15 at the latest.

Here is a quick snapshot of the donations to individual organizations - see below the cut for all of the totals!

We hope to see you all again next year!

Amounts raised for each of our individual orgs:

TLDEF $8,594.5 (18.15%) DigDeep/Navajo Water Project $7,037 (14.86%) Rainbow Railroad $5,970 (12.61%) Sherlock’s Homes Foundation $3,169.5 (6.69%) Life After Hate $3,069.75 (6.48%) Never Again Action $3,062.75 (6.46%) Citizens’ Climate Education $2,235 (4.72%) Xerces $2,103 (4.44%) Razom $2,101 (4.43%) Violence Policy Center $1327 (2.80%) NNtEDV $1,157.75 (2.44%) The Appeal $935 (1.97%) Other organizations (that aren’t abortion funds) $1,151 (2.43%)

All abortion funds $5,468.50 (11.54%) Indigenous Women Rising $2,073 (4.43%) other abortion funds $1,184.50 (2.50%) Abortion Fund of Ohio $963 (2.03%) KY Health Justice Network $634 (1.34%) New Orleans Abortion Fund $349 (.74%) Buckle Bunnies $240 (.51%)

#fth 2023 #donation totals

[romeulusroy]

Arrangement (Roy!Sibling x Lukas Matsson)

((SUCCESSION SPOILERS))

Character/s: Lukas, Kendall, Shiv, Roman, Logan mention

Word Count: 1,732

Requested: hi!! can i request roy!baby sibling being sent to “woo” lukas in favor of the deal? they were indifferent at first but eventually fell for him. (not necessarily needed to be included but i imagine kendall would find out about the blood thing with ebba and try to tank the deal hahaha) - anon

Tag: @locke-writes

A/N: Hope you like it my love!!! This is based off the latest episode, so spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't seen it!! Thank you for requesting!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

You cleared your throat, following him through the doorway. Your glass was cold, the stem fragile, the red wine disgusting. Something expensive, Tom had poured, swishing around, threatening to spill. You took one last glance back. They stood huddled together, nodding at you, insisting you go in. You would have rolled your eyes if he hadn’t turned to see you, inviting you in. You smiled, cursing your family. Fuck Kendall, fuck Shiv, fuck Roman, and especially fuck Logan. The door shut behind you, making you jump. Don’t worry, I’m not going to try anything. I just want to talk. His hand fell the small of your back, ever so slightly pushing you along to where the living set sat. Fuck all fo them, you added at the end, over and over again until you were sitting across from him. The room was dark except for a few lamps. One wall was floor to ceiling windows. He had his back turned on the view, as if it didn’t matter, as if the only thing you should be focusing on was him. Shiv’s home had so many rooms, so many ins and outs, it was a wonder she didn’t get lost every day. You couldn’t help yourself, letting your eyes wander over him, above him, to the glittering city. It was too dark to see any details, but that didn’t really matter. It stood grand, solid, daunting in the darkness. Your home, for as long as you’ve been alive. It looked its most perfect at its most blurry, shunned from the daylight. 

He looked tired. That was the first thing you’d noticed about him when he showed up. He wasn’t some godlike creature they all feared he was. He was just some guy in a gold jacket. The bags under his eyes were puffy, as if he hadn’t slept in a while. He brought Ebba and Oskar with him, making fun of them as if that’s what all bosses did. You weren’t sure if you should laugh or not, so you said nothing. Everyone seemed uncomfortable but him. You had Gerri, Frank, and all of your siblings. An army, and for what? This guy? You tried to hide your smile. This was the guy everyone had been worried about? Leave it to them to be dramatic. Jesus, you could have stayed in the home. It was a last minute invitation. Whose idea, you’re not sure. After everything with dad, you were more than happy to tag along. It was a wanted distraction. The thought sent a shiver through your body. This election party was a nice distraction, even if it meant schmoozing with this guy. He shook hands with your brothers, and attempted to hug your sister, stopping at you. His eyes seemed to light up. You went in for a hug, unsure of what else to do, as Kendall introduced you. Y/n, the baby of the Roy family. You’d never met him before. You weren’t even sure he knew you existed. You were as far removed from the company as possible. You just weren’t interested. You had a life outside of all this. You thought everyone should do the same, though the idea isn’t well liked. He likes you, Roman said while you two followed the rest to a private room. Was that true? He just learned your name, and yet, it seemed like he couldn’t take his gaze off you, even if you were the least significant Roy in the room. You had no idea what the deal was, what you were supposed to be rooting for, only that it was worth a lot and it was keeping your brothers up at night. Shut up, you hissed back, really wishing you’d said no. The deal went well in Norway, so you thought this was just a formality. You had no idea it was falling apart behind the scenes. 

It was their plan all along. Kendall and Rome had learned his “type”. He had a weakness for someone who looked like you. It didn’t hurt that you were the youngest, either. Barely legal, Roman always joked, though you were far older than that. They knew bringing you along would help, at least it would offer some sort of distraction, like a parting gift. He gets to talk to you, stare at you, imagine whatever he wanted, and they’d get their deal. All you had to do was stand there and look pretty. You’d figured it out quick enough. You played nice, used your best manners, but they were acting strange about it. They watched your every move, paid close attention to everything you did and said. They waited for him to laugh at your jokes before they found it funny. Lukas seemed distracted by you, too. He lost track of what they were talking about, having to be gently, constantly reminded. Even out on the grass, surrounded by his team, the rest of you left to mingle, he always found his way to you. Rome was right. The more he got to know you, heard your sarcasm, your jokes, your unfiltered thoughts and feelings, the more he seemed to like you. Want you. Over the balcony's edge, he followed you out, stood beside you, asking you questions, needing to know more. What were your interests, your hobbies, why weren't you more involved in the company. They never took their eyes off you, wanting to make sure what you were saying was okay. He wasn’t even supposed to show, but he did, and you were his bait. 

Is he always like that? You ask, taking another rancid sip, Oskar I mean. He was high, obviously, and keen on making everyone he came into contact with uncomfortable. He talked about your body in ways you’d never thought at a political party. Lukas came to your defense immediately, seriously, making him and Ebba jump at his tone. You hadn’t expected him to be so offended on your part, but he seemed genuinely upset, leaving the pair in favor of your company. Like an asshole? Most of the time, yes. He chuckles. I am sorry for his behavior. You force a smile. You should hear what they all say. They’re on their best behavior tonight. There were a few Nazis here, it could have been much worse. He nods, understanding, having gotten a warning speech from your sister about how to act and what to say. He asks how you’re doing with your father. You shrug. No one’s asked you since that night. It still feels unreal. He talks about his own father. You can’t help but notice how human he looks all of a sudden, so fragile, so small. You almost feel bad for him. Despite the situation, being offered up to him like a piece of meat, he’s a kid just like you, like your siblings, pretending to know how to handle this niche slice of adulthood. You make a joke about the wine  that gets you a smile. You become more comfortable with him, letting your shoulders drop, your spine slouch. He speaks of Sweden, how beautiful it is, how much he misses it. About his past relationships, that they never seemed to work out. About your family, how messy they are. You can’t help but agree. Not just your siblings, though it was a miracle you were all in the same room without fighting, but your father and mother. He was cruel and took pleasure in pinning you against one another. She was absent and yet so needy, unstable. You talk about your past relationships, how hard it was to find someone who wanted you, not your money or your name. An hour has gone by before you know it. You didn’t mean to tell him all of this, to open up, it just happened. 

Do you want to go back to the party? He asks, eyeing the door. Not really, you think. You can hear the murmur of guests just outside. All of them trying their best to smile and get along. Tomorrow they’ll be at one another's throats. Do you? He shakes his head no. It’s more fun here. That makes heat rush to your face. The conversation flows without any hiccups. Where you want to travel next, what you wanted to be when you were a kid, all your thoughts about the next presidential candidate, favorite ice cream toppings. You spoke about everything and anything. His laugh came easy, especially at your jokes. It was one of the things he liked most about you, your humor. He told you things he wasn’t proud of, things you’d later realize information  your brothers would have killed for. Nothing big, nothing scary, just personal fears. He trusted you with this. You wouldn’t tell another soul. You liked him a hell of a lot more than when you first met. He was more of a person, not just a walking conglomerate. His company was even enjoyable. He had absolutely no filter and said some outrageous things, but in a world like yours, that was normal. The only reason you even stopped was because of a knock at the door. Shiv wore a tight smile, asking if she could speak to Lukas alone. Behind her, Kendall and Rome watched. I’ll see you soon, he promised, don’t stray too far. You nodded, getting up, leaving the room. You couldn’t read your brother's expressions, but it didn’t look good. Wordlessly, they took your arm, leading you far from the room. What the fuck? I was doing what you said to, you said once you were alone, pulling yourself from their tight grips. Roman rolled his eyes. Not everything is about you. Did he tell you about the blood and hair? What the fuck was he talking about? The shock on your face was enough to convince them. They began speaking at the same time. Fucking Matsson has been sending. . . stuff to his ex-girlfriend. I don’t want you going near him again. His numbers are all wrong, they’re all made up. Never should have used you like this. Fraud. Deal. Freak. What were they talking about? You looked down the hall, through the open doorway, where Shiv is talking to him. She looked angry, upset. He seemed content, even jovial, laughing at himself. Was this true? You wouldn't believe it. He seemed like such a nice guy.

#requested #lukas matsson #lukas matsson imagine #lukas matsson x reader #kendall roy #kendall roy imagine #kendall roy x reader #shiv roy #shiv roy imagine #shiv roy x reader #roman roy #roman roy x reader #roman roy imagine #succession #succession imagine #succession x reader

[odusseus-xvi]

Reading posts and comment about Forever and Baghz' relationship on here and it seems all of the problems are on Forever's side. Because if you watch Baghz'... They don't exist !! (Just in case, I'm happy that most posts tallking about it are at least very cordial on here. I'm not going on Twitter cause it must be a warzone but I'm talking about here)

She doesn't include him in anything anymore and spends all her time with BBH !

Well first of all if that was the case, there is nothing wrong with that, AND that is fully untrue. It's not premaditated, I don't know if you've noticed but recently, she has been much less able to log on, and tonight is actually her last QSMP stream for a WHILE for external projects (hoping she gets kidnapped, give her LORE), so of course she is gonna see him less. Not only that but she is also going to bed more early for health reasons, and Forever tends to log on later than usual, and arrives around the times she wants to go to sleep. So incidentally, she sees him less. On The other hand BBH is here when she is, so of course she sees him more.

They just need to be sincere with Forever and everything will be okay again.

Yes. She already is. Except when she is, a small vocal part of the community jumps on her. She is sincere, she is an actual friend when she says that she thinks Forever's doing things wrong. She is also suportive of him. She said on her stream how hard the position must be. And actually, if you think about it, Forever might be the one not really sincere. Yesterday Forever told her that he was trying his best to please everyone, she answered "Yes, I know, it must very hard..." and she got cut off by him saying "Not it's actually very easy." She was then surprised, as this was evidently not what was happening. Then Forever says "Hey, if you have criticism, tell me", and then she did. She explained what she thought he was doing wrong. But then people come and say it's because "they don't understand Forever's projects because of the language barrier". No. No I can tell you they do, they just don't agree with them. And again, she doesn't "only sides with BBH anymore", it's just that one of her friends come and tell her "I'm not feeling fine, things are going terribly", and the other comes to tell her "Hey things are going perfectly :D", so obviously she'll worry more about the guy that's explicitely looking for support. I can tell you if Forever were actually honest, and came and told her "I feel alone and isolated, I'm not sure if what I'm doing will please everyone" she would gladly help him.

They are constantly critical of Forever's work.

Yes. Because they don't agree with him. Again, I think you forgot that when the election were here, her main point was that she doesn't want a president, that she dislike this idea, and she doesn't want them to play into the federation's games. All the things Forever is doing. "let's add laws that are punishable by prison", To her that is literally what the federation is asking for. So obviously she won't like that. And again, she is conscious that Forever is doing his best, she said in rp that she is worried for Forever because it's a very hard position to be in. But again whe she asks Forever about it he says "Oh it's going perfectly fine :D Don't complain, I'm doing things ! People complained I wasn't doing anything !". She said she was happy he tried to please everyone, and that she would help if he asked for it. He didn't. He said "If you have criticism, go for it". And when she did he explained his project for the hundreth time, and she explained for the hundreth time that she felt like it had flaws.

She's hiding things !

No. No she isn't. I can tell you : She isn't. She never hid anything to anyone. Except the location of Jaiden's home. You can respect this secret right ? Not ony that but she has ADHD. She tends to forget to do things pretty easily. SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE LORE ! EVERYTHING SHE LEARNS IS THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE WHO MOST OF THE TIME ALREADY TOLD FOREVER.

TLDR :

All of those problems Forever is making up. they didn't isolate him, he isolated himself. HE is the one that broke all of his waystones and made a gap around his base. HE is the one saying they keep secrets from him when they don't. Would he talk about with them, they would listen, but they just don't know he thinks that because they don't do those things.

Another note : Baghera talked about how she heavily disliked how early people assigned her and Forever as a duo. She said that she obviously loved him, and that he was a dear friend, but she felt like they tried to pressure her into spending all her time with him instead of everyone. Like she said herself, depending on what I want to do there is plenty of people I like to go : I love theorising with BBH because he has an interesting intel, when I want to goof around I go to Foolish, when I want to banter I go to Forever, when I want to do nothing and just bullshit arond I go to Antoine etc. And sometimes I just see who comes to me. I'm not further away from Forever, we are just on our own projects at the moment. Just because you want me to constantly be by Forever's side doesn't mean I have to. In the future they will probably be times where our projects and timetables will more coincide and we will be much more together again. But I have other things too.

#qsmp #qsmp forever #qsmp baghera jones #qsmp baghera #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh

[origamiplushie]

Dustin's really going through it

Read on AO3. Inspired by this tumblr post.

It is an ordinary Friday like any other. The party is once again gathered in the Wheeler’s basement. They’re just having a normal sleepover not playing DND so even Max has elected to join them. They have a pile of snacks and soft drinks, they’ve picked out some movies to watch later and right now they’ve given in to stereotype and are playing truth or dare.

So far Max has admitted to shoplifting (multiple times) (with very little shame), Will has demonstrated that he can do a handstand but only hold it for about 20 seconds, Lucas has been forced to chug a shaken bottle of coke and spent a tense fifteen minutes doing his best not to throw up and Dustin has confessed that he once destroyed a sweater his mom bought him and blamed it on Mews just so she couldn’t force him to ever wear him to wear it again. 

Dustin spins the bottle and watches it slow down to land on Mike. He dramatically pretends to contemplate his choices for a moment before turning towards Mike and asking with a sly grin: “What is the most embarrassing crush you’ve ever had?”

Mike sputters angrily. 

“None of your business!”

Dustin immediately shoots back with: “Actually we’re playing truth or dare so right now it is very much our business.”

“Shut up, I’m not telling you guys!”

“Come on dude, you forced me to show you pictures of the sweater! Fair’s fair!”

Will tries to goad Mike into telling them.

“Come on, Mike, it can’t be that bad?”

Max snorts and says: “Or at least not worse than Dustin in that puke coloured sweater.”

“Just rip off the bandaid and tell us already!”

“It’s Steve! It’s Steve, alright?” Mike finally exclaims. Immediately after that he slamms his face into his hands.

A moment of shocked silence follows.

And then Max starts laughing.

Seeing as Mike is clearly mortified, El leans over to pat him on his back.

“Steve is very handsome. And he is nice. I do not think he is an embarrassing boy to crush on,” she said.

Lucas decides to also try and reassure his friend.

“I mean, if I wasn’t dating Max and if I liked guys, I would probably also have a crush on Steve. He’s just like the whole package - he's athletic and charismatic and super supportive and a good listener, you know?”

Now Max, still laughing under her breath, adds: “Not just charismatic and nice, he’s hot! Have you seen him shirtless at the pool?”

Will, who so far had been struck speechless, turns entirely red in the face as he shyly nods and says: “I personally like watching when he plays basketball with Lucas.”

Mike looks like he feels a bit better and even dares to peek at the rest of the room through his fingers.

“For real?” 

Lucas nods enthusiastically.

“Yeah dude, Steve’s a nice guy. Half the school probably has a crush on him.” 

Mike isn’t hiding his face anymore but Dustin seems disturbed by the entire conversation.

“Nononono, fucking ew!Steve isn’t… hot. He’s a fucking doofus and a dork!”

They’re all laughing at Dustin’s distressed face now.

“You’re just mad your friends like your “older brother”,” Max chimes up.

Mike is confident enough by now to speak.

“Now you know how I felt when you were crushing on Nancy!”

After that all of Dustin’s protests are ignored as the group trades stories of Steve as well as their other crushes. Meanwhile Dustin tries to smother himself with a pillow and does his best to tune the whole conversation out.

—

Dustin doesn’t even give Eddie the chance to get out of the car and wave before he’s already throwing his bag in the back, sitting in and slamming the door closed.

“Soo… going out on a limb here, I’m guessing the sleepover didn’t go well?” Eddie says backing out of the Wheeler’s driveway.

“No! It didn’t! They all spent the whole evening basically gossiping and talking about some… dumb shit! We never even got to watching “Highlander”! It's new enough that it's still under the two day rental policy! And Steve said he’s not going to waive any more of my late fees! So I guess I’m going to have to drop this off today too. And when Steve asks ‘Oh Dustin, how was the movie? Were the swordfights as awesome as they looked on the box?’ I’m going to have to say ‘Well Steve, I never actually got to find out!’”

Dustin grosses his arms with a huff and glares out the window.

“That sucks dude. Did you tell them you wanted to watch the movie?”

“Yes! But apparently Mrs. Flemings is right when she complains that teens these days have no appreciation for art and culture!”

Eddie glances at Dustin sitting sullenly in the passenger seat and offers with a wink: “How about this? I’ll drive us to Family Video, rent the movie under my account after you’ve returned it and then we can hang out at my pace and watch it together. Then tomorrow you can tell the others how cool it was and what they were all missing out on by ignoring you.”

Dustin immediately brightens up.

“Really? Thanks, Eddie, you’re the best!”

“And hey, if we’re hanging out all day anyway, you might as well pick out another movie to watch as well. I don’t know about you but I don’t have any other plans for today.”

—

Dustin rushes to browse the shelves and pick a second movie while Eddie waits at the counter with the “Highlander” tape. 

He personally prefers sci-fi above all but he knows Eddie likes horror movies, so it might be nice to go with something Eddie liked as a gesture of appreciation. He considers his options for a while. Finally, “Star Trek” is put back on the shelf and Dustin turns towards the counter with the “Shining”. 

And then he stops.

Steve is leaning on his forearms against the counter.

Eddie is leaning forward as well, a strand of hair pulled in front of his face.

The two of them and Christopher Lambert staring up at them from the VHS case form a little triangle. They seem utterly oblivious to the rest of the world.

Eddie is definitely blushing.

Dustin takes a deep breath.

Steve and Eddie are reminded real quick that they are not alone in the universe when he starts yelling.

#stranger things #stranger things fic #steve harrington #implied steddie #eddie munson #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #my fic #yes eddie wanted to cheer dustin up but he also had ulterior motives for offering to go to family video

[seasonsbloom]

You bought me with your Jake’s stories, but you got my heart with the statement about tom cruise face!! I AGREE. Could I maybe ask you for another story with my lovely Jake Seresin?? The one from the bingo thing?? „Who did this to you” or jealousy? Thank you and take care darling!!💗💗💗

♡ pairing ; hangman x female!reader

♡ wc ; 400

♡ warnings ; none

♡ note ; bad habit universe, but can be read separately. went with jealousy! i apologize if you wanted something smutty or serious, this ended up being complete crack. also, again, sorry for lumping these together but it sort of made sense to me....

The cat hates Jake.

Neither one of you had anticipated that when you got her from the shelter, a small, gray little thing with pink paws that purred anytime you scratched behind her ears. She’d seemed so small and helpless and starved for love. At least, Jake doesn’t think you anticipated something like that. It doesn’t seem like a very you thing to do, at least, inviting the enemy into your home.

The problem with it is that this cat, this demon, this actual child of the devil, may hate Jake, but she fucking loves you. Which, like, ditto, but that doesn’t make it okay.

“I’m being watched,” he says, pausing halfway through the living room.

You’re on the couch, feet propped up, watching re-runs of I Love Lucy, a bowl of Rocky Road slowly melting on your stomach. Barely glancing up at him, Jake watches as your mouth curls up into a smile, as the black and white pictures moving on the TV screen paint shadows onto your face.

“Don’t be dramatic,” you chide, one hand lazily, blindly, reaching to pat the cat’s head. The animal has a name too, but Jake elects to ignore that. He doesn’t want to risk giving it too much power.

“I’m not being dramatic,” Jake protests and takes another step in the direction of the couch to prove it. As if on cue, the cat lifts its head and hisses, revealing razor-sharp little fangs. “See?”

You roll your eyes, giggle, and then you’re moving the bowl to the coffee table, the cat off you, and you’re padding across the living room rug on socked feet. When you nuzzle your face into his neck and wrap your arms around his middle, you sort of remind him of the kitten he actually wanted to get. One that doesn’t hate him that is.

“You guys just need to get to know each other,” you mumble into his shoulder.

Jake just hums in agreement, returns your hug, but then over the top of your head, he narrows his eyes at the devil that’s staring back just as intently and mouths, “Mine.”

And yeah, okay, being jealous of a cat might be pathetic. Jake isn’t afraid to admit it, though.

At the end of the day, he’s pretty confident he’d win if it came down to a fight for your affection. Sort of. A little. Maybe.

#hangman fic #hangman x reader #jake seresin fic #jake seresin x reader #top gun maverick #hangman #mine #drabble #f: bh #hangman drabble #f:bhdrabbles

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

It sounds like you guys could use a GE like right now. Is there any chance of that happening and getting competent people who do their jobs in government before 2025?

Okay so there are two (2) ways of calling an early general election:

1. A motion is proposed and two thirds of MPs back it. That two thirds is very strict, however - it includes abstentions. It's not just two thirds of the ones who vote, it's two thirds of all seats in the Commons. Currently I believe there are 650? So 434 would be needed.

2. A motion of no confidence in the entire government - not just the PM - has to pass, AND no motions of confidence in any alternative government can pass in the next 14 days either.

So let's see! The second is less likely than the first, because it would require the Tories - who currently hold the most seats - to vote in large numbers against their own party, and that seems unlikely. They certainly all hate each other now, and they 100% have cliquey little in groups who wear pink on Wednesdays and don't let anyone new sit with them, but they don't think the entire government, themselves included, should be removed. At least, I doubt enough of them do. Each thinks their own in group would do a great job, so I expect they'd present themselves as a confident alternative government within the 14 days and on we'd go again, but with Rishi in charge for a bit. But, that said, they're splintering so thoroughly that the sheer number of sub-Tory parties might swing the numbers.

The first is a more likely option. The Tories currently hold 357 seats, so at minimum, we'd need what... 293? To back the motion. That's actually quite feasible - IF, that is, they reckon the Tories would still win. And, uh. Most don't. Some do - Dorries would be well up for it, the woman is more deluded than a hallucinating Victorian opium addict being conned by Houdini, but most can count and also read and the polls are not kind right now.

So... it's really not impossible, and the political wind is currently changing so fast the weather cock is actually flying. But I think the chances aren't super high. We'll see! Hopefully there'll be a country left to save by election season.

#politik

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e1 recap: bridget random-fuck and the logan roy selfie fiasco

happy return of succession, everyone! and with that, my completely unhinged and ridiculously time consuming recaps. i was honestly not sure i wanted to go down this rabbit hole for another season, but given that it is our last, i think i'll have to.

my coping mechanism currently is complete and utter denial. let's see how long that lasts.

we start off the episode at the most depressing birthday party there ever was. did you think the season one birthday party was bad? at least there was baseball and logan nearly dying. in season four it's all greg calling himself an honorary kid and fingering a girl called bridget in the guest room.

something tells me logan is regretting teaming up with tom and greg right about now.

in california, the siblings are pitching investors on a new media venture. as per usual, there's a lot of bullshitting involved and i can't tell if kendall is high or not during all of it, but it's nice to see the sibs be a team - at least for now.

back in new york, kerry is not happy with greg bringing bridget random-fuck to logan's party. couldn't agree more.

as for shiv, she is totally fine with the idea of tom getting a drink with naomi pierce.

this is definitely the face of someone who is fine:

if this was any other show, i'd launch the theory that shiv is pregnant right here. but this is succession, so that seems unlikely.

also, maybe i'm just projecting, knowing that snooks is pregnant.

either way, we've got a fantastic shiv episode on our hands. can't wait for sarah to win all the awards.

connor is polling at one percent, but is getting squeezed. as willa says, it's all super greedy, since his opponents already have all the other percents.

frankly rude to do my guy con and the conheads dirty this way. what would an election be without an unhinged billionaire, i mean, i can't remember. it's the american way.

anyway, this is the look of someone who has just been reassured he will still be part of the business, even if he gets a divorce:

super reassured.

bridget random-fuck keeps causing problems. first, she posts about a pierce family member being at the birthday party on social media, then she asks logan for a selfie saying, and i kid you not, kar-ching.

all the unhinged gerri kellman lesbians immediately notice her in the background, judging.

bridget is like an unhinged version of greg in the first episode of season one. good for her.

meanwhile the birthday boy is having a great time without his kids. nothing screams birthday like contemplating your own mortality.

i've also seen some posts that are like "wow so much has happened in ONE year", indicating that this is logan's 81st birthday, but i'm not sure. they don't mention his age specifically, so i think we can just live with the ambiguity of whatever timeline we are comfortable with.

i personally think it's been a few years at least. if not, shiv and tom's marriage would have lasted what, six, seven months? rude.

after shiv's phone call with tom, the kids start realizing that logan is planning to buy PGM (again), and they immediately back out of the business venture they have been planning for the last few months.

and the award for most delusional goes to kendall for this comment:

roman is the only one that's not into buying up a dying media conglomerate because he is a girlboss. he's really the only one who wants to build up a new company from scratch and i'm so proud of him.

what a journey we roman fans have been on. truly.

logan takes his best pal, colin, on a date, and we realize, once again, that logan respects the people who work for him more than he ever will his children, because his children have been given everything all their lives.

logan does a whole "is there anything after death" shakespearean monologue and the odds that he will die by the end of this season are forever in our favor. this pleases me:)

connor wants to use his wedding as a political stunt, which makes me think the timeline of this season will be super short. will all the episodes take place during the ten days leading up to the election?

seems strange, given that they travel to norway, but it's an interesting thought.

greg has sex in the guest room and logan has CCTV. or at least tom wants greg to believe he does. anyway, i don't really want to get into it. poor bridget.

gerri, it seems, is still out in the cold after the dickpick ordeal. truly destabilizing to see our queen on shaky ground, but also good for her that she gives less of a fuck, leaving karl to look like this:

perfection. he is and will always be a true foodie.

anyway, logan doesn't take the news that his kids also want to buy pierce well.

on the west coast (in napa?), nan is truly weaponizing her liberal image and the whole "i'm just an old lady who doesn't understand capitalism"-vibe.

it's a sight to be seen.

roman, of course, sees right through her.

but it doesn't really matter, because the roy kids are too occupied with waging war on their father to notice they are getting played.

and to think i'm lowkey rooting for this idiots...

greg doesn't want to see what happens in guantanamo and leaves dealing with random-fuck to colin, the one true hero of this show.

gerri is straight up not having a good time.

we need to save her.

the kids offer up 10 bill for PGM. it feels extremely rushed and stupid and driven by revenge, but i'm glad to know roman knows how many zeros there are in a billion.

someone get him to new york asap so he can show gerri.

the kids win the bid and logan is not happy:

this is the look of a girl who needed a win. bless her heart.

because eventually, shiv goes back to new york and has to face tom, the traitor, disguisting boy from st. paul who wants her to talk....

... and if you know anything about being emotionally repressed, you'd know that is absolutely not an option.

so they lie there for a bit and hold hands and all of a sudden i realize that this stupid show has done it again. they made me care about a bunch of terrible, rich people. AGAIN.

i hate you, jesse armstrong, i really do.

during the last scene, we get one of the best lines of the episode:

logan is at home, alone, watching ATN and calling cyd to complain. i honestly can't tolerate cyd slander. that being said, i do hope we get a war of the networks between ATN and PGM moving forward.

if you stayed with me for this entire recap, congrats. you're just as demented as i am.

for next weeks episode, i need more gerri. i bet you are all surprised to hear that.

#succession #succession hbo #brian cox #logan roy #kendall roy #jeremy strong #zoe winters #shiv roy #sarah snook #roman roy #kieran culkin #j. smith-cameron #gerri kellman #connor roy #alan ruck #willa ferreyra #justine lupe #tom wambsgans #matthew macfadyen #bridget random-fuck #greg hirsch #nicholas braun #nan pierce #succession spoilers

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 39: A Future: Katsuko is very much off course, but at least she has found some people who can help her out.

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

The stranger squinted at me through the blizzard and asked again. “Katsuko?”

In this weather, I couldn’t make out the man's features, nor could I tell how tall he was because he was on the horse. His voice was vaguely familiar though. But not familiar enough to be coming from someone who knew my true name. Aki groaned, reminding me that this was no time to play guessing games. I simply indicated my increasingly heavy Aki burden and said, "He's been shot."

My rescuer was enough of a man of action over words to leap off his horse take on part of Aki’s weight. Between the three of us, we managed to get Aki onto the horse. "Can he last long enough to get home?"

Home? Where is home?

Again, I tried to place the man. He was perhaps a few years older than I was, with medium brown hair… and… nope. No idea. Sorry, dude.

"He's a tough old bird." I pitched my voice loud enough for Aki to hear, and received a grumpy, "insubordinate” as a reward.

I let my rescuer lead the horse and simply trudged along beside him. Hopefully, he would not notice I had no idea where we were going,. "It sounds like you know this guy?" There was no small amount of jealousy in his tone of voice.

"Well. He's my father." No reason to keep that a secret.

"Your father?" The man looked at me with a frown. That frown… seemed familiar.

I do know who this is!

Sasuke's travelling merchant friend. Yuki. Yuki who has only seen me disguised as an old man. And while he might possibly have recognized me on the street, he definitely should not have known my real name.

"I didn’t know your father was alive." This was spoken in tones that suggested I would have told him. He sounded hurt that ‘Katsuko’ hadn’t mentioned this man to him.

What the hell is going on here?

"It's a recent development. I just found out myself." I gave Aki a glare. "He's a very shifty old man."

"I heard that." Aki’s response was between a cough and a grumble.

“You were meant to.”

Fortunately there was a posting station near the river a few kilometers from where Yuki had found us. Yuki was able to obtain another horse, in fact it might actually have been one of from his “home” as people who often needed to travel far and fast kept extra mounts at these stations, if they had the means to. I elected to ride with Aki, hoping to avoid revealing to Yuki that I still had no idea where he was going, and figuring I could use the “need to make sure my father stays on the horse” excuse to prevent conversation.

"Home" turned out to be a large low castle/manor hybrid spread out from behind two moats and a long wall. More or less protected, but not super defensible, although the fierce looking warriors at the sentry post were a sort of living wall. It had only been just about over an hour away from the posting station, and the weather had slightly warmed up in the meanwhile.

The snow hadn’t stopped, but the consistency had changed from icy pellets to softer flakes. (I like snow, I do, but not when it’s flung in my face on a constant basis.)

Muramasa had zipped ahead of us, baying happily, and he seemed to be a familiar sight to the guards. So was Yuki, who had been addressed as "Lord Yukimura." Ha! I knew he hadn’t been a traveling merchant. The sentries apparently knew me as well, deferentially calling me, "Lady Katsu."

Huh so this really was 'home'? Am I a year or two in the future? That would explain a lot.

But how was I connected to Yuki…mura?

Please don’t tell me this is my husband.

Not that Yukimura was unattractive. But to go from ‘I thought you were an old man’ to ‘wife,’ would be quite the leap. Not to mention, going from loving Mitsuhide to … marrying this guy. A lot would have needed to have happened.

Just sayin’.

I didn’t think we were married though. Yukimura wasn’t acting like a husband. More like someone who considered me one of his closest friends.

We relinquished our horses at a stable, and Lord Yukimura rushed to help Aki dismount. Aki roused himself enough to protest this, saying, "I will walk on my own." I stuck close to his side, though, just in case, as the three of us made our way into the dwelling.

The servant at the main entry let Lord Yukimura in without comment, then did a double take when he got a look at me. Presumably this was someone whose name I was supposed to know. To cover for the giant gaping hole in my knowledge, I simply gestured to Aki and said, “We need a healer – he’s been shot.”

The servant galloped off with any further questions. This galloping was echoed by smaller gallops and then two small children burst into the room and launched themselves at Yukimura, yelling "Yuki!"

The younger one, a girl of maybe two years, flung herself into Yuki's arms. He used the momentum to swing her into the air. "Miss Mayumi, you're twice as big as the last time I saw you."

Mayumi? This child was named after my mother?

The little boy however, halted at my feet, put his hands on his hips and glared up at me suspiciously. “Are you a Yokoi?"

At this point... anything's possible.

And then the servant returned followed by a tall man who paused, then calmly looked from me to Aki. "Akihira, there are a lot of people looking for you.” Then he smiled down at me. "Hello Katsu. It seems the timeline has run amok again."

Huh? This one knows me too?

"What?" That had been Yuki.

And then a woman, her fingers stained with ink, hurried in from a different direction, and the tall man pulled her to his side. "Devil, here’s another one."

The women finally turned and looked at us, her eyes widening when she saw Aki… and she was...

…me?!

What the hell is going on?

"What the hell is going on?" Yuki was nicely doing the work of broadcasting my inner thoughts.

"What the hell is going?" The little boy echoed Yuki’s statement with a look of utter hero-worship on his face.

Other-me winced. "Hana's going to kill us if we return them with an enhanced vocabulary." Then she bowed to Aki. "Four years. Four years and all we get is one letter?"

Yuki looked from me to other-me. Future me? She did seem slightly older than I. "Katsuko, is this your sister?"

"Not exactly," the tall man stated, but by then, my concern had shifted to Aki, who winced and swayed.

"Dad!" It slipped out. But somewhere along the way I had begun to think of him as my father.

Other-me finally looked surprised. "Dad?"

The tall man nodded. "I... had my suspicions." He pulled her closer, gave her a brief kiss on her forehead, and whispered something in her ear. She closed her eyes and leaned on him. For a moment they were the same kind of bubble I had seen surrounding Mai and Hideyoshi. Them against the world.

Then he turned to nod at some of the servants who had gathered in the hallways, and announced in a loud voice, "Katsuko's sister and father have come to visit. Please prepare rooms for them."

Once they had all scattered, he smiled down at me. "Angel, I'm certain you have many questions, but let’s get your father settled first, then discuss this in a less... public... setting." Then he kissed the other-me. "Apparently, the wormhole is not finished with us yet."

It was substantially more than an hour before we were able to gather in a room not far from where Aki was now uncomfortably resting. A local healer had been dragged in from the storm, only to keel over at the sight of Aki's bloody shoulder.

"I could take the bullet out myself," Aki had glared at the lump of healer on the floor, then passed out too.

The tall man, who I had finally learned was Takeda Shingen had looked over Aki in concern, and said that at the moment, all we could do is let him get some rest and warmth.

"Are you a healer too?" I had heard Yoshimoto praise his cousin as a man with a multitude of skills, but not that medicine was one of them.

"I've had a lot of experience at being ill," was the only explanation he gave.

I hadn’t wanted to leave Aki, but other-me stationed one of the maids in the room and instructed her to call for us if Aki's situation worsened. Now, we were in what looked like Lord Shingen's private office; the desk was stacked with reports and correspondence, and a wall of built in shelves contained an impressive collection of texts on history, philosophy, and political theory.

"If you aren't Katsuko's sister," Yukimura asked me, once we were all gathered around a before-it's time-Kotatsu, "Who are you?"

"Well, I'm Katsuko. Just not that Katsuko. Um. At least, I don’t think I am that one." I sighed. "I've been going by Kaya recently anyway, if it makes it easier."

"Never liked that name." Katsuko gave me a sympathetic look.

"Me either.” Which yeah, of course. She was me. I’ve had a lot of surreal experiences, but this easily topped the list. “I think Mitsuhide made me use it for that reason."

"Mitsuhide!" Even without Yukimura's sputter the name landed like a bomb in the room. Yuki edged away from me. "What were you doing with that snake?"

I didn’t want to discuss that in depth. "Um it’s a long story – he was helping me look for Aki and I was helping him look for Mai and Hideyoshi, but I'm not really sure if that part really relates to how I got here...? Uh what year is it?"

"Fifteen-eighty-six.” Katsuko was the one who answered me. "I take it you got here from 1582."

"Are you a future me?" But that wouldn’t make sense? Or would it? A lot could have happened since 1582. Except if she were future-me, she should have known that I had come here from 1578… and I was already confusing myself with the paradox.

"No. I’m a multiverse version of you. Sasuke uses the term alternate." She turned to Shingen. "We should send for-"

"Already ahead of you, Devil. Though it will take a better part of a week for him to arrive." Shingen retrieved a basket of what looked like chestnut buns from behind his desk, and offered it to me. I nearly took one, until I got a look at a warning head-shake from Katsuko.

"Ha! It's Sasuke. He'll ninja himself here in four days." Yuki pulled the kettle off a brazier which was set cozily in the back of the room, obviously very much at home in his friends' castle.

I was still stuck on the term 'alternate,' trying to piece my way through an explanation of the situation I’d found myself in. "Ok, so this 1586 is not my future, but a different timeline." Aside from Yukimura, everyone else was being awfully calm about this.

Katsuko nodded. "Yep. You're the third version of myself that I've met." She turned and poked Yukimura. "Don't you remember that Sasuke explained it all... with strings, back before we sent Shingen to the future?"

"I remember, but it made as much sense then as it does now." He shrugged. "I just never understood why you would focus on the future when you have to live in today."

"An admirable philosophy, Yuki." Shingen lightly patted his friend's shoulder. "In any case, Katsuko has had experience getting stuck in the wrong timeline, so I surmise that's what has happened to you."

"That would make sense." I gave them a brief explanation of what had happened to me when I realized Aki had disappeared, although I skimmed past the details of the whole Mitsuhide part of it. From the look Lord Shingen gave me, it was clear he knew there was more to it than that, but he let it go.

There was an even longer period of shock and awe when I showed them the odd device that had seemed to activate the time travel without a wormhole (but further discussion of that was tabled – we would wait for Sasuke to arrive). "After Iekane and I went over the castle wall, I landed on a battlefield in 1578, which is where I found Aki. I only knew it was 1578 because I saw Sasuke save Kenshin. That wormhole, Sasuke's wormhole, was still open, so Aki and I went through it, and ended up near the Kawaguchi shrine a few hours ago."

"All this that happened with Yoshiaki, it was already winter... Eleventh month?" At my nod, Shingen continued. "That confirms you are from an alternate timeline rather than the past. At that point in our timeline, Katsu and Yuki were fighting Iekane near Togakushi, and I was already in modern Japan getting treatment." He rubbed his throat, and yeah, now that I knew to look, I could see a surgery scar.

“I'm pretty sure that is where my timeline's version of you is too. Sasuke mentioned that he was going to the future with a sick friend." I supposed that meant that whatever Shingen had had, it was the same illness across all timelines.

Picking up on my train of thought, Katsuko said, "I'm glad, I have to admit, I sometimes worry about the alternate Shingens and whether they are getting treatment." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Trust Sasuke to find a way to convince me... or Yuki to figure out how to send me there without warning." He smiled down at her, and curled his fingers in her hair.

Awwww. I supposed it was nice to know there was a version of me happily... married? That reminds me…. "The children - the little boy and Mayumi. Are they yours?"

I had never been interested in motherhood. Specifically not the whole giving birth part of it. With my family history, I just didn’t want to put myself on a path of postpartum depression leading to clinical depression. But had other-me gotten past that?

After a moment of silence that was almost awkward, Katsuko shook her head. "Oh gosh, you haven't found Toshiie then. They're his children."

"Toshiie's here? In this house?" I jumped up, ready to run from room to room until I saw him, until Shingen spoke up.

"No, he's in China right now. He and his wife, who is an herbalist, went to research medicine." Almost on cue, Mayumi toddled unto the room and crawled into Shingen's lap. She blinked her eyes at him twice, then dropped off to sleep. He brushed his hand over her hair, then added. "This one is apparently convinced I'm her bed."

Ok, Katsu. Catch up here. "Where did you find him?" I’d just have to retrieve him from wherever once I got back to the right timeline. If… I could figure out how to do that.

“Ikuno.” Yukimura was the one who answered my question.

"He's not there. Not in your original timeline, I mean." The explanation come from Aki, who had apparently had enough of ‘the whole lie down because there’s a bullet in your shoulder thing’ and was gripping the wall to keep himself upright. "Each timeline is different. In some, he made it back to modern Japan. In yours, Katsu," he nodded at me, "I'd had word that he could be in Sakai, but I got waylaid in another timeline before I could check it out."

"You should be lying down." I jumped up to steady him before anyone else could react. His face was grey and sweaty and I could feel heat radiating from his shoulder. The bullet might not kill him, but the infection could.

"Yes. You should. Dad." The inflection in Katsuko's tone was flat. Ok. I was pissed too, but the level of her anger suggested that other things had happened between them that I wasn’t privy to.

Yuki found a low chair with actual back and arm support and slid it into the conversation area, and Aki dropped heavily into it. Whatever strength he'd used to propel himself into the room was now gone.

"Akihira." Shingen addressed him as a peer, not an authority figure. "I understand the concept of multiple timelines. What I don’t understand is why there seem to be many versions of myself, of Katsuko, of Sasuke, and Mai… and only one of you."

"Because I was in a place where time has no meaning when the timeline splintered." He closed his eyes, as if completely spent. My need for answers clashed with a bigger need to keep him alive. I had chosen Aki over Mitsuhide, and if he died after all this it would all be for nothing. Selfish Katsu! It's not all about you! I couldn’t help my thoughts though, even as I felt guilty for thinking them.

"That hidden room in your manor." Shingen nodded. "Kayten told us time had no meaning there."

Hidden room?

Aki managed a brief thumbs up. The modern gesture seemed odd on him. He had blended so well in this era, I had never thought to question him. "I heard you had found it."

"We found it at the same time as Okatsu and Mitsunari came through from their timeline." Katsuko swirled her tea. "I don’t know which of the four of us was the most surprised."

The surreal feeling of displacement returned. Okatsu and Mitsunari?

“Ah. She didn’t see the other two. It’s too bad – it might have saved me a rather large amount of trouble if she had.” He turned to Yukimura. “Would have saved you a few headaches as well.”

I looked around the room to see if anyone else had any clue what he was talking about, but all that I got was universal confusion. As much as I wanted to know what he was talking about, Aki wasn’t looking well. For the last few moments he’d been shaking uncontrollably. "That’s enough. Aki should be lying down.”

"I don’t think that's going to help." Aki put his hand on my head. "As far as I know, there's no treatment here for a septic wound."

@mllorei @bestbryn @selenacosmic @lyds323 @akitsuneswife @tele86

#10things #10 things i hate about mitsuhide #mitsuhide monday #ikemen sengoku #fanfic #mitsuhide akechi #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen yukimura #ikesen shingen #oc katsuko #katsuverse

[grumpycakes]

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO CONT.

DAY 4 • October 20, 2023 • Third Vote, bye bye Jordan

< Previous (Day 3 Oops No Vote)

HOOO BOY MY DUDES.

So for some reason they planned this vote at 10am (cause they hate the west coasters??? Oh. Oh wait yeah, they probably wanted to make it more inconvenient so people want to get it done.)

Also C-Span hecked up??? And didn’t come on till a bit into ten and while the ALTERNATE CHAPLIN WAS ALREADY PRAYING.

This guy is NOT NICE CHILL LADY CHAPLIN. He sounds chill, but he said shit about "We need more of you (God)," and "[Lord] Lead us in your will." which again AGAIN. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. AT LEAST nice Lady Chaplin asks god to lead us for what is best for the people. WHERE IS OUR NICE LADY CHAPLIN.

They do the pledge and then do their "Call of the House" (head count buzz in to make sure they have a Quorum/majority of the reps). This also serves to find out what the total number is to base the needed votes for a majority. This is why they let the timer lapse around as long as it was going, to make sure they have all the votes possible for better chances at getting majority.

C-Span actually had journalist/reporters going today??? Which they hadn't all week. But good info was had that I'll add in the takeaways. Made me jump tho during roll call rofl.

We hear that one Republican is out on a """Fact Finding Mission to Israel""" and he is one that votes Jordan so, not great for that. Apparently NORMALLY there are 435 seats for a majority of 218 votes needed, but there's been 2 vacancies so that's why it's been 433. 2 Democrat Representatives are out (V. Gonzales and Payne, no word why but not really an issue). Roll ends with 427 Present (Which would mean 214 to have a majortiy but by final vote it was 429 votes, so really only 4 ppl MIA instead of 6 and 215 needed)

SPEECHES

lolol So McCarthy gave this nomination speech for Jordan and like, I know they don't hate each other but I hope that hurt.

Says, contrary to Dem talking points, Jordoran is an effective legislator (WHICH GETS FUCKING LAUGHTER, AMAZING)

Continues that the Speakership is about compromise and working long hours to get it done (implying Jordan can and has done these things) GETTING MORE LAUGHTER AND CHATTER and McHenry even fucking calls us to order about it lol

"Democrats are attacking Jim" because they don't want secure borders (my dude it is YOUR PARTY not electing him)

Called Jordan selfless (DOUBTFUL)

Quotes people who worked with or under him (stupid and ofc only the good ones)

Goes into an example of Jordan and like, man I hate the way McCarthy speaks/tells stories/way he talks. Grates on my nerves

We've got a job to do (yeah, yet you seem incapable so far)

Does more Jabs at democrats cuase he's exhausting and desperate to blame anyone but his party

BLessedly not the longest but still annoying

Clark, Rep of Massachussets is here to give us a speech (OOOooo she's new to me)

Blah blah 212 consistently, we rock and are united

Republicans are disconnected from the people

Pointed out Jordan voted against healthcare for Mothers, chlidren, elderly and Veterans (haha which got angry dissent noises, sucks to suck)

Also notes he voted against lowering the cost of insulin multiple times

That he's a reproductive healthcare extremist

Reminds us Jordan's an election denier, misinformation spreader, and a threat to our democracy

American people want us to work for them and re-open the house, but the republicans keep fighting each other instead

blissfully short and with a good pace and snappy delivery, I like you Clark

The fucking dems started chanting Jeffries name again and this time McHenry tried to gavel them back to order but tHEY STARTED CHANTING LOUDER FASTER TILL THEY DEVOLVED INTO CHEERING. and Honestly, go off since you have to keep coming back to this bs

VOTING COMMENCES 429 Present • 215 To win •

Jordan can only lose 3 votes

NOTABLE VOTES (key: *change in voing, + same as last vote)

Bacon - McHenry * (Voted for McCarthy last vote, AND WE'RE OFF)

Bilirakis - Jordan +

Bost - MIA/Votes Jordan on recall

Buchannon - Donalds + (-2 votes)

Buck - Emmer + (-3 Jordan can't lose any more votes)

Chavez-DeRemer - McHenry* (-4 murmuring from crowd cause Jordan has lost)

Cohen - "For the 18th time Jeffries" (gets laughter about it)

Conolly - Did his long sentence for Jeffries

D'Esposito - Zelden + (someone tried to clap about it rofl)

Diaz-Balart - Scalise +

Elllsey - Mike Garcia +

Ferguson - Scalise +

Fitzpatrick - McHenry* (NEW DEFECTOR WEE WOO WEE WOO)

Fox - MIA/Votes for Jordan on recall

Garbarino - Zelden +

Gimenez -McCarthy + (loll one of the few that doesn't switch to McHenry)

Gonzales (T) - McCarthy +

Gonzales (V) - MIA/does not vote on recall

Granger - Scalise +

Hunt - MIA/does not vote on recall

Isa - Votes for Jordan but is standing in the democrat side, so the house is temporarily confused at a vote for jordan coming from there, laughter ensues)

James - Donalds* (Voted for Candace Miller of MI last time)

Hearty cheers when Jeffries votes for himself, lack luster cheers and polite clapping when Jordan votes for himself

Kean NJ - McCarthy (NEW DEFECTOR WEE WOO WEE-)

Kelly PA - Scalise* (Oh we decided against Boehner this time???)

Kiggans - McHenry* (haha i'm loving all these people dropping McCarthy for his bud)

Kilde - gets claps for voting Jeffries, unsure why

LaLota - Zelden +

LaMalfa - Jordan + (sticking to it)

Lawler - McHenry* (voted for Granger last time)

MccCarthy - Jordan (gets none attention haha)

Miller-Meeks - McHenry* (Voted Granger last time)

Molinaro - Zelden* (NEW DEFECTOR WEE W-)

Payne - MIA/does not vote on recall

Pelosi gets claps for voting but they're not crazy

Rutherford - Scalise +

Scalise - Jordan +

Spartz - Jordan +

Stauber - Westerman +

VanOrden - MIA/Does not vote on recall (out)

Vargas - yells Jeffries and gets laughter for it

Womack - Scalise +

Recall happens and McHenry does the normal, talk to vote talliers if you missed voting or need to change ur vote.

429 Voted • 215 to win

Jordan - 194 votes (HE LOST 3 MORE PEOPLE)

Jeffries - 210 votes (2 dems missing)

Scalise - 8 votes

McHenry - 6 votes (McHenry laughs as he gets cheers for it and does gently call for order)

Zelden - 4

Donalds - 2 votes

McCarthy - 2 votes

Emmer - 1 vote

Garcia (M) - 1 vote

Westerman - 1 vote

NO MAJORITY, NO SPEAKER CHOSEN McHenry immediately calls recess

TAKEAWAYS AND NEWS

The thursday closed meeting was 4 HOURS and Jordan had a SECONDARY MEETING with the holdouts for 2 MORE HOURS after that. DURING that meeting Jordan was REPORTEDLY told "He'd never be speaker."

Spartz had said that she'd back Jordan one more time, but if he lost again she would vote for someone else.

Jordan supporters said something to the effect of, It's not Jordan's fault Republicans who don't vote for him are getting death threats, it's their fault for not voting for Jordan. (AND LIKE HELLO???) Another Republican lady was like, I get death threats all the time, and I'm sorry for them but suck it up, so .. a lot of sypmathy.

Gaetz and the other 8 repubs that voted to ouster McCarthy (sealing his fates as none of the dems would vote for him) have come forwar offering themselves if that's what it takes to get Jordan nominated. Offering that they'd take sanctions and removal from the conference (basically getting kicked out of the party though they're saying they'd still be repubs??? and it would kick them off of their committee seats... so could we do it anyway??? llol). Gaetz says that he thinks this BS is actually GOOD GOVERNING (sure Jan) and tHEN ASKS, What else do they want, except a pound of our flesh?" (Which like... they want NOT FUCKING J JORDAN AS THE SPEAKER)

Jeffries did a Press conference and offers bipartisan stuff but like, man am I sicsik of that being kinda empty cause the Repubs will never and the Dems wont sacrifice human rights, so it's a moot point.

A lot of Republicans were defending this BS by pointing out how may times McCarthy had to run the vote but like THAT WAS ALSO BAD AND A SHIT SHOW

It was PROJECTED that Jordan would lose 5-8, 10max, voters, he only lost three but still

THE LAST TIME SOMEONE GOT THIS LOW OF VOTES WAS 1923, FINNIS GARRET GOT 195 VOTES. JORDAN SURPASSED HIM... MAKING HISTORY....

Brian Tyler Cohen made a interesting correlation of Jordan being an election denier making sense as he was refusing to accept his losses.

AFTERMATH

The Republicans held another closed door meeting (THEY'VE BEEN CALLING THEM ""FAMILY MEETINGS"") where they held an anonymous vote as to whether or not Jordan should continue as the nominee. HE FUCKING LOST in his OWN PARTY'S MEETING.

HE HAS removed himself as a nominee. We are back to square one.

McHenry announced that they were taking a 72/weekend break and would be back on monday to do a candidate forum (to some dissent, and many lawmakers just WANT THIS DONE WITH)

The repubs that have offered themselves as tribute

(With the assumption that they are boilerplate Repubs. over LGBTQ+, Abortion, Taxes, Immigration, etc etc. *Election denier means they have made statements, did not support the ratifying of the electoral college votes, voted against impeachment and investigations.)

Tom Emmer - not an election denier at minimum, current GOP Whip (assistant leader)

Kevin Hern - Already tried before Scalise got nominated and dropped out (election denier)

Austin Scott - Was close to Jordan in numbers for the repub speaker nominee (didn't argue electoral college shit and has said USA voting is solid, but didn't go after Jan 6/trump)

Byron Donalds - the dude the Fuckaround 8 kiiinda backed against McCarthy in JAN. (election denier)

Jack Bergman - apparently wanted to challenge Jordan but didn't, JUMPED when jordan was out (election denier)

Jodey Arrington - only said he was considering, but apparently others have brought him up as an option (election denier)

Mike Johnson - has been calling around to see if ppl support him as speaker (election denier)

Pete Sessions - ALSO jumped when jordan was out (election denier)

FINAL THOUGHTS

So ends our sordid tale of Jim Jordan. May he feel stupid about this for the rest of time.

No Republican speaker is going to be good but jfc can we not have literal government destroyers????

I guess the pass on the budget was for 45 days, we have spent 18 (to be 20) of them on this bs.

SHOULD I KEEP NAMING THESE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO since it is still technically the 2nd speaker vote of this congress, or should I name it something else now that Jordan is out?

Next (Starting Over) >

#speaker of the house vote #disaster boogaloo #us politics #us congress #118th congress #mel does political reports now????

[adultish-momma]

Bonus Scene: Hospital Bedsides

A short little scene, nowhere near the full thing. Set a few hours after defeating Leona's Overblot in Book 2.

Warning: There are depictions of scarring and injuries, nothing incredibly graphic. A mention of violence. While it's in the school infirmary, I'm going to warn about the whole 'Hospital Bedside' thing as well.

A/N: @jackplushie. Look how much your man cares about you.

"Hey sleepyhead"

Yuu groans, turning their head toward the voice cooing at them softly. Eyes squinting against the bright lights of the infirmary, they can just make out the blurry figure by their bedside.

It's Cater.

Messy orange hair, almost glowing neon under the harsh white lighting, is pulled out of your visitor's face. The Heartslabyul dorm uniform is still in the same state it was when they last saw each other, rumpled and grimy, little holes and frays ripped into the edges. He looks almost exactly the same way he did last time Yuu woke up in the infirmary.

It's always Cater, patiently waiting for Yuu to open their eyes. He doesn't leave, whenever they get put in this room, on that bed, bandages wrapped cleanly and neatly, nearly covering half of one side of their torso. He doesn't leave, not wanting them to wake up alone. He thinks the least the Prefect deserves is to wake up to a familiar and friendly face. He doesn't leave, wanting to soak up every second he can with them in case they don't wake up.

But the Prefect doesn't need to know that.

"Hey Cay-Cay," they say, voice dry and crackling, both from being unused and from dehydration. They go to rub at their throat but are hindered by the tight bandages wrapped around their elbow and their shoulder. A hiss of pain followed by a grunt of annoyance. "Ugh, please don't tell me they went overboard with the wrappings again?"

"Well, no actually-"

"So I'll have some scarring, big deal. I really don't think all this is necessary."

"Prefect, the nurse was saying-"

"Like, I don't need bandages down to my wrist, he only grabbed me by my shoulder-"

"YUU!" Cater's voice cuts through the room, effectively silencing the only other occupant. Yuu watches, captivated, as Cater's whole body seems to tremble. His eyes are screwed shut, a barely perceptible quiver to the thin frown on his face. He takes a shuddering breath before continuing.

"Prefect, the bandages are necessary." Yuu elects to ignore the shakiness of his voice, letting him get it all out. "Professor Crewel brought up this new salve, apparently it's designed to help you specifically. Every bandage is soaked in the stuff, trying to heal all your scar tissue."

They both pause, glancing down to assess the damage on the magicless student. White bandages wrap from their left wrist all the way up to their shoulder. Gauze is pressed against the left side of their neck. The bandages themselves almost seem to branch down their torso, a twisted image resembling the cracks in the earth of a bone-dry clay desert.

"Leona... Leona did a lot of damage. He might have only been holding your shoulder, but you've got burns down to your hips." His wall is crumbling, he can see it, and he desperately wants to build it back up and be the happy-go-lucky, friendly guy he wanted to be when Yuu woke up. But every time he so much as blinks, he can see the image of his underclassman, his fellow 'ace investigator', his Prefect flaking away like dust on the wind. It's burned into the back of eyelids, the sight of so much of them turning to dust and being swept up into the Overblot's sandstorm.

Cater thought fighting Riddle when he Overblotted was the scariest thing he would ever do. And then he was the one rushing the Prefect to the nurse as they slowly bled out on his broomstick not even five minutes later. He realized that day, between the Ramshackle freshman and his housewarden, that he was still terrified of losing people.

"Yuu, please. You can't keep scaring me like this"

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #rewrite au #rewrite bonus scene #twst cater #twisted wonderland cater #tw: violence #tw: scarring #tw: injury #tw: hospital #This is both longer than I intended and doesn't cover even half the stuff I wanted to talk about #BUT #I'm still really satisfied with how this came out #So here you go #There's so many spoiler for my rewrite au in here #Mirrors are Never to be Trusted

[calico-kiwi]

The Coffee Trials

Chapter 4: Quest Unlocked: BananaJam in the Target

Fandom: Maribat (Miraculous Ladybug x DC)

Tags: Tim Drake/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Original Character, fluff & Shenanigans, no plot & no update schedule

Work Summary: Both Tim Drake and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are incredibly successful and busy people. Two people who both view coffee as their lifeblood. When they find themselves needing each other to obtain ultimate coffee rights at their favorite cafe, two total strangers become allies. And friends. And perhaps eventually… something more.

Chapter Summary: Skye reveals the quest Tim and Marinette must complete in order to earn their first hint. Shenanigans ensue, as they always should.

Links: ao3 work, ao3 chapter, First Chapter, Previous Chapter

Read below the Keep Reading!

“Your quest,” Skye begins, “is…”

“To film a video in the cereal aisle of a Target with one or both of you dancing in a banana suit wearing sunglasses.”

Tim and Marinette are left standing there, speechless.

“Tim, I’m never letting you spin the wheel again,” Marinette deadpans.

“How the fuck did you manage to come up with that idea!?” Tim asks Skye incredulously, ignoring Marinette’s comment.

Skye simply shrugs, answering, “My sleep paralysis demon is easier to deal with if I imagine he’s a funny silly goofy little guy doing funny silly goofy little things.”

“I guess?” Tim says. “Ok,” he continues, “where the fuck are we supposed to get a banana suit though?”

Marinette sheepishly raises her hand. “Um-” she starts. Thinking to herself, ‘Oh my kwami I can’t believe I’m about to admit this,’ she tells them, “I… actually already have a banana suit somewhere in my apartment.

This, at least, seems to be the first piece of information to visibly shock Skye, and Tim too holds a certain look of bewilderment.

‘Damn Adrien and his stupid Banana Noir costume that he managed to get shipped with the rest of my things when I moved to Gotham. I can’t believe that mangey cat’s prank actually paid off,’ Marinette thinks. ‘Damn you Agreste, but also thank you.’

“It’s… a long story,” she says, wincing. “But the face is covered. Would it still count?”

Skye, over their initial shock, smiles. “Hey, I’m not one to judge. I think the fact you have that lying around is hilarious, regardless of the reason. And yeah, even with the face covered, that’ll work. Add the sunglasses on top of the costume in that case. Just make sure you address the camera at some point in the video so I can hear your voice and confirm it’s one of you. You don’t both have to dance in banana suits, so if one of you chooses to be the person taking the video instead, just be in-frame for a portion of the video so I can confirm you’re there as well.”

Steeling herself for the embarrassment to come, she sighs out, “Alright then. I guess we’re doing this.”

Tim leans over to show her his phone, and looking down, Marinette can see the Target website pulled up. “There’s a Target a couple of blocks away from here that closes at 11:00. It’s only 9:30 right now so that gives us an hour and a half if you wanted to just get this done tonight.”

Marinette elects to ignore the chill that goes down her spine at having Tim speak so close to her ear.

“I don’t live too far from here, so I can grab the costume and sunglasses to meet you there at like 10:15ish?” she offers.

Nodding, Tim answers, “Perfect. I’ll text you the address. If you don’t mind, can I be the one to wear the banana suit? I, uh, would rather have my face covered. Honestly with my reputation I don’t think too many people would question it, but I’d rather not draw attention to myself at the moment.”

“Sure,” Marinette agrees. She’d done her fair share of research about Gotham before moving, so it hadn’t taken her long to realize Tim was pretty famous here in America. She wouldn’t bring it up because, quite frankly, she knows enough famous people at this point to not really care.

Turning back towards Skye, who is currently erasing the “Q#3” option from The Wheel of Punishments and writing “spin again” in its place, Marinette announces, “I’m gonna head out now Skye. We’ll probably be back to show you the video, “ she looks back over at Tim, “around elevenish?”

Tim gives a thumbs up, confirming, “Yeah, around 11:00.”

With that, Marinette says goodbye and heads back to her apartment. It’s not until she’s finally back home and staring at the closet with the banana suit that the full absurdity of the situation reaches her.

Tikki, who had been sitting idle in her purse, flies out. Giggling, she asks, “Having fun? You look a little shell shocked.”

Slowly running a hand down her face Marinette mumbles, “What even is my life…”

Floating higher to gently pat Marinette on the head, the kwami states, “It’s all a part of the universe trying to balance out the energy you emit. Having such prolonged contact with the Ladybug miraculous and being my holder has imbued you with my creation energy and good luck. So the world around you tends to be filled with chaos to balance out the luck you pour into whatever space you’re in.”

As Marinette sighs Tikki adds, laughing, “You also happen to be drawn to very chaotic people. Though I’m not sure if that’s a side effect or if it’s purely you.”

Thinking back to her earlier childhood and the mischief she, Nino, and Kim would get up to, she admits, defeated, “I think it’s just a me thing.”

Nudging her towards the closet Tikki urges, “Hurry up now, don’t want to keep Tim waiting.” There’s a knowing glint in the kwami’s eye as she says Tim’s name. Marinette thinks it’s best not to dwell on that particular detail.

Sifting through the things in the closet, Marinette finally finds the banana suit buried behind boxes of umbrellas which Adrien had also managed to ship to her apartment. 

Her relationship with Adrien has been a bit of a roller coaster. Eventually though, they realized both in and out of the suits, they preferred to stay just friends. After everything they’d been through, not even their identity reveal was enough to persuade either of them to pursue a romantic relationship with each other. Hell, even Alya and Nino admitted that they acted more like siblings than anything else.

The comfort from working as partners for so long, finally having revealed their identities, realizing they were already close friends out of the suit, and the fact any romance between them had effectively been thrown out the window had led to them confessing how they each came to fall for the other. And, consequently, un-fall for each other.

She almost smothered Adrien in pillows when he wouldn’t stop laughing at her for an umbrella being the cat -alyst for her past crush on him. He, even now, refused to let her live it down.

Smiling at the memories, Marinette pulls the banana suit out of the closet.

“And here it is in all its bright yellow glory,” she mused, looking over to Tikki.

Flying back towards her with sunglasses, Tikki laughs. “Ever think this would come in handy?”

Shaking her head and taking the sunglasses from Tikki, she replies, “Didn’t have the faintest clue. I swear though if Adrien finds out I actually needed this god awful costume for something I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Stuffing the sunglasses in her purse and folding up the suit as best she can, Marinette motions for her kwami to follow her. “Alright Tikki, let’s get going. I have a feeling this’ll be a long night.”

Twenty minutes later she finds herself in the mostly empty parking lot of her local Target. She’d sent a text to Tim letting him know she was there.

As she was absentmindedly drumming her fingers against the steering wheel, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Taking it out and glancing at the screen, she realized Tim was calling her. Raising her eyebrow, she hit the accept button and held the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” she asks.

“Ok so,” Tim starts. The way he says the words has Marinette already feeling like face palming. “I’m here, but I realize we didn’t really think of the fact I still need to change into the banana suit. We could meet up at the cafe instead, have me change, and then we come back here, but that’s cutting it close to when Target closes… By any chance would your car have tinted windows?”

Tentatively, Marinette asks, “… You’re telling me your car doesn’t have tinted windows?” She made sure the disbelief was clear in her voice. Honestly, she’d thought one of Gotham’s well known elites would’ve taken more precautions.

“Well it does,” Tim says, and Marinette can already hear the unsaid ‘ but ’ in his sentence. “ But ! I didn’t really take my car here…”

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Marinette questions, “How did you get here then?”

“Motorcycle,” was his simple answer.

“Ah,” was all she said in reply. “Lucky for you that the car I’m leasing has tinted windows, then. I’m basically five rows away from the front of the Target. There aren’t any other cars around me so you should be able to find me pretty easily.”

“Yeah I think I see you. Your car’s dark grey, right?” Tim asks.

As Marinette tells him, “Yep,” she sees someone with Tim’s same outfit, hair, and build walking towards her car. “I think I see you too,” she tells him.

As the person takes a few more steps towards the car, Marinette can see it’s Tim and rolls down her window. “You can change in the back while I stand outside. The suit’s already in the second row, and I can give you the glasses when we get inside Target,” she says in lieu of greeting.

“Y’know,” Tim says as he climbs into the back seat, “you’re weirdly trusting to let someone you’ve known for less than a month be left alone in your car. “Not that I would do anything,” he adds hastily.

As she steps out of the car, Marinette smiles at him and says, “I tend to trust my intuition when it comes to people and their intentions. Something tells me you won’t steal or vandalize my car.”

Closing the door she bites back the unsaid part of that statement, which was, ‘One of the side effects of being the Guardian lets me see if people have harmful intentions through their aura, and you’re in the clear.’

When Tim steps out of the car Marinette chokes back a laugh. The suit, which had fit a previously teenage Banana Noir, looked laughably small on Tim. Tim wasn’t necessarily a very tall man, but it was obvious that the roughly 180 centimeters of him was far too big for a children’s costume. The yellow tights and the long sleeve undershirt were all but abandoned, presumably too tight for Tim to fit into.

Marinette had guessed as much, which is why she’d made a quick alteration on the gloves using the little time she’d had. Somehow they looked even more ridiculous as fingerless gloves.

Instead of the yellow tights, Tim wore his faded jeans, and instead of the undershirt, the sleeves of his white t-shirt could be seen. The rest of his arms were exposed, but Marinette elected to ignore that. She wasn’t sure she had enough self control to not switch from laughing at his ridiculousness to drooling at his muscles.

“How bad is it?” comes Tim’s muffled voice through the banana suit.

Still trying with all her will to not die on the spot from laughter, Marinette wheezes out, “It’s perfect.” Still smiling ear to ear and biting on her tongue to stop herself from losing it, Marinette pulls out the sunglasses and places it over the banana’s soulless, all seeing eyes.

Stepping back, Marinette doubles over in her attempt to not collapse into a laughing fit. “Oh my Gods,” she breathes out in a small voice.

“Ok, well while you have fun losing your shit over this, let’s head for the Target so I can take this potassium monstrosity off as soon as possible.” Gently pulling her along by the wrist, Tim drags a (still hysterical) Marinette towards the entrance of the store.

By the time they’ve walked through the door, Marinette has gathered herself enough to walk normally (though she would giggle every few seconds before slapping a hand over her mouth.

As they make their way towards the cereal aisle, Marinette is suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. “Tim,” she whispers, coming to a sudden stop and yanking on his arm so he does the same. He slowly turns around to face her and Marinette forces herself to look at his Converse instead to stop from bursting out laughing at the ridiculous banana face.

“I know exactly what song you can dance to,” she says mysteriously. She quickly tugs him the rest of the way to the cereal aisle (dutifully ignoring the bewildered stares of the other shoppers and various employees they pass) before depositing him in the middle of the aisle.

“Can I borrow your phone to record? I need mine to play the music,” Marinette asks. Wordlessly, Tim hands over his phone, already opened to the camera app, and Marinette takes a few steps back.

“Ok, just stand there and be ready,” she instructs. “As soon as I play the song you’ll know exactly what to do, don’t worry.”

Once she gets a muffled and confused, “Sure?” from Tim, she holds the phone vertically, makes sure the front facing camera is on, and hits record.

Making a show of holding her own phone next to her mouth with her other hand and visibly fending off laughter, Marinette says clearly, “Hey Siri, play the macarena-”

When the first note hits, Marinette flips the camera so it’s recording Tim. The phone speaker rings out, “Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena-” and Marinette can be heard manically laughing in the background as banana Tim dances to the song.

“Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena-” Tim continues to dance and the camera is visibly shaking as Marinette breaks down in a fit of laughter.

“Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena-” Tim’s movements are unnecessarily exaggerated and Marinette can still be heard maniacally cackling as the camera tilts, presumably because Marinette is leaning against the shelving of the cereal aisle to stay upright.

As the final line of the chorus rings out, “Hey Macarena, ay-” Tim sassily places both hands on his hips and slowly rotates them in a circle, still using exaggerated movement. 

Just before the song finishes, a random shopper from behind Marinette can be heard shouting, “GO WHITE BOY GO!” which leads to Tim, with one hand still on his hip and the other pointing at the stranger, exclaiming, “Thank you random citizen!” in an attempt to copy the voice of Metro Man from Megamind.

The video ends with Marinette crying laughing, having fallen on her knees, sinking to the floor.

Tim shakes his head in exasperation (or at least Marinette thinks that’s what he’s doing, it’s hard to tell with the suit on). But seeing as how the head of the banana suit doesn’t turn, all that happens is the whole banana body shaking.

This, of course, does not help Marinette’s laugh attack, and Tim is forced to hoist her up and be used as a human (banana?) crutch for her to lean against as they exit the target.

Once they make it to the car, Marinette, who is thankfully no longer hysterical, unlocks her car so Tim can change in the back seat. Thankfully by the time he emerges, she’s calmed down enough to only be smiling.

“I want you to send me that video, because I honest to gods don’t think anything else has ever made me laugh so hard ever. It’s probably partially from the lack of caffeine but oh my gods .”

She’s so glad Tim doesn’t seem the slightest bit off put that he's just done something most people would find mortifyingly embarrassing, or that she’s laughing her ass off at him. 

“Sure. On the condition that whatever crazy quest Skye sends us on next has you be the main focus,” Tim bargains, giving a teasing smile.

Smirking, Marinette says, “Easiest deal of my life. Meet you back at the coffee shop? I got a feeling Skye’s gonna get even more of a kick out of this than me.

Still smiling at her, he says, “See you there.”

Marinette really hopes Tim turned away fast enough to not see the blush that crept up her face after he smiled at her like that. If he looked at her so softly again she wasn’t sure she’d be able to muster up enough denial to ignore the beginnings of the feelings she was starting to have.

When they got back to the cafe and showed Skye the video, the barista took even longer to stop laughing than Marinette. 

It got to a point where the two were genuinely scared for Skye’s health, because when he heard ‘go white boy go’ he collapsed on the counter rasping out things along the lines of ‘can’t breath’ and ‘oh my god I’m gonna die’.

Once Skye recovered, the smile stayed on their face the rest of the night. “I want you to send me that video,” she said. “Also, congratulations you’ve passed the quest! The first ingredient hint is espresso shots.”

Marinette saw Tim’s eye twitch out of the corner of her eye. “We did that to get the hint espresso shots as an ingredient for one of your most caffeinated drinks ?!”

Raising an eyebrow Skye shrugged. “Hey man, you spun the wheel, that’s your fault. The hints are in a predetermined order, so that’s the hint you would’ve gotten regardless of what you were saddled with in order to earn it.”

Tim sighed as Marinette reiterated her sentiment from earlier in the night, “Never letting you spin the wheel again.”

Stealing one of the uneaten cookies from a display case, Skye says, “You guys only have tomorrow to show me your weekly attempt before things are reset, by the way. Once Sunday hits it restart the week, and you’ll have access to earn another hint and another attempt at showing me what you guys’ve created.”

Looking over at Tim, Marinette suggests, “Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t think I have enough general knowledge on the making of drinks or of the ingredient list to throw together an attempt.”

“I don’t think I do either,” Tim adds, “How about we reconvene on Sunday to see whatever ludicrous thing Skye plans for us to do to get a hint.”

Smiling tiredly, Marinette nods. “Sounds good to me. I’m gonna head home.” She says goodbye to Skye and Tim, then heads to her apartment.

Flying out of her purse once Marinette’s inside, Tikki giggles. “Quite an adventure today,” the kwami muses. 

“It certainly was-” Interrupted by the chime of her phone, Marinette pulls it out of her pocket and looks at the screen. It’s a message from Tim, with the video of him dancing in Target attached. Marinette snorts, screenshotting a frame in the video to set as Tim’s contact photo.

She takes another screenshot of Tim’s updated contact and sends it to him. ‘Would u believe me if i told u ur the second person to need to use that banana suit’ she texts to him.

‘ur jokling’ he replies. ‘wish i was, that thing is, as you so eloquently put it, “a potassium monstrosity”’ she sends back.

‘Idk i think i pulled it off’ Tim sends. Marinette laughs before sending, ‘no clue how u managed to do that tbh. but hey if u ever wanna model smth hmu. if u can pull off a banana suit i can only imagine how well ur modeling career would be’

Marinette could almost hear the smirk in his next text. ‘Oh so ur imagining me now r u?’ Marinette rolls her eyes before responding, ‘Oh, so ur getting cocky now, r u? If ur in my dreams it’ll be as a dancing banana, don’t get ahead of yourself’

Tim’s message after that made Marinette’s heart melt a bit, though she’d never tell him that. ‘Well i hope u have sweet ones’ ‘dreams that is’

‘gn my dancing banana’ she sent, smiling down at her phone.

‘gn coffee thief’

Marinette collapsed and was unconscious the second her head hit the pillow. She chalked the fact that she fell asleep so easily up to the overexertion from laughing so much and the general craziness of the day.

It definitely had nothing to do with the ball of content that sat comfortably in her stomach, which was warming her heart. And that content certainly had nothing to do with the unfairly attractive dancing banana she’d somehow found herself stuck with.

AN: Forgive my many spelling mistakes, I have the horrible tendency to only write for this fic in the dead of night. i have this fic on ao3, but I realized I never posted it to tumblr as more than a link. if you wanna keep up with it, but dont wanna subscribe to it on ao3, just ask to be added to the taglist either through this post or an ask to my blog and I'll keep you updated!

#kiwi shares their thoughts #kiwi's got a pen #maribat #mlb x dc #shutterbug #timari #dc x miraculous #dc x miraculous ladybug #dc x mlb #miraculous x dc #miraculous ladybug x dc #timinette #timinette fic #timinette fanfic #timinette fanfiction #timari fic #timari fanfic #timari fanfiction #timari fluff #timinette fluff #shutterbug fluff #shutterbug fic #shutterbug fanfic #shutterbug fanfiction #maribat fic #maribat fanfic #maribat fanfiction #tim x marinette #marinette x tim

[skye-huntress]

The Witch from Mercury Season 2 Reaction

Episode 18: “Our Empty Selves”

Seeing Suletta in the normal school uniform seems unnatural. Speaking of unnatural things, Suletta’s behaviour. And yes, I did see that one unmarked point on her wishlist

New change for the OP, Guel in uniform with his new ‘do

Unsurprisingly reclaiming Holder status didn’t make Jeturk’s problems go away, especially with lack of confidence from investors

Can I just say, Miorine looks good in a suit

Of course, there’s another secret Gundam! This is such a Vim Jeturk move. With the revelation that even Delling was using the tech for his super secret doomsday project, it really is clear that Sarius Zenelli was the only one who was actually consistent in his anti-Gundam rhetoric.

Oh, great, now Aerial is getting her own mobile suit looking GUND bits, as if she wasn’t OP enough.

Shaddiq is scheming again, but we all know that he’s playing with fire when it comes to Prospera. That boy is in so far over his head it’s pitiful

Suletta still dutifully looks after the greenhouse, because she needs to be useful to someone. Her entire self-worth is based on being useful to others, that’s how Prospera raised her

Chuchu ready to make Miorine out to be the bad guy, but Suletta only blames herself

Lauda, first off, unless you’re volunteering yourself for greenhouse duty, kindly piss off! Secondly, just because your brother had victory handed over to him doesn’t mean you’re anyone of importance. If anything, you’ve sunk even further than before. But at least you have enough sense to thank your saviour.

Chuchu means well, but she hasn’t caught on to what Suletta’s real problem is. She’s become yet another person that is dragging Suletta around and telling her what to do.

Oh yes, good idea! Leave Earth House in the sole care of one boy with a head injury, guarding against the very vandals that injured him in the first place! What could go wrong?!

Miorine is finally going to Earth? What a twist of fate.

The Counselling Room in Asticassia is literally just Haru on an altar?! No wonder everyone in this school is so screwed up!

Secelia?! What?! How?! Why?! I thought she lived in the Duelling Committee Room!

Oh, is our boy, Kananji, finally ready to reenter the plot?!

Miorine is currently running for an election that she is far behind on, of course you can’t just drop by to see her unannounced. She was already busy enough when she was running a new business.

Looks like it’s big sister’s turn to talk. The revelation about what Suletta is isn’t really surprising, but the important part is why Suletta was created. She was the “key” to helping Eri achieve her potential, but now as I suspected, Suletta has already fulfilled her role as said “key”.

So now that they are done using her, Eri and Prospera are setting her free. But like I said before, Suletta’s measures her entire self-worth in how useful she is to others. It’s both the kindest thing they’ve ever done for her and also the cruelest. The fact that that statement makes any sense to me is proof of how much they screwed up Suletta to achieve their goals.

#the witch from mercury #g witch #g witch spoilers

[mezimraky]

So what on earth is happening with the Czech election right now? Who is this general? Do people actually want Babiš? How does this vote work?

it's complicated! essentially, what is happening in czech rep right now is the third ever direct presidential election. meaning, every citizen over the age of 18 gets a vote. the last two elections ended with miloš zeman as the winner. miloš zeman is a bitter old man who is a rude drunk but people felt represented by him, and so elected him twice.

the second time around there was a big wave of dislike for zeman but the voters did not manage to pool in to one other candidate but instead spread to at least three fractions, making it impossible to beat zeman. this is not the case this year, with this election.

the first round of the election ended with two favourites. generál petr pavel and andrej babiš. they both had around 30something% of votes and ended within less than a percent to each other.

andrej babiš, the poplusist oligarch, is the head of the biggest political party in the country, ANO. andrej babiš is also a businessman who first went into politics in cca 2011 and his main positive was that "as a rich businessman he would not need to steal from the people as a politician." and "as a successful businessman he can run the country like he runs his company". they essentially built their popularity on populist policies that range the whole political spectrum without much of a system or reliability. they would form alliance with anyone who allowed them to be in the position of power.

the prominence of ANO has indirectly caused a crisis in democracy. the two sides of the political spectrum are out of balance. ANO's populist policies have replaced the political left almost entirely. if you'd watched the last government election last year, you'd see that the fight was no longer between the left and the right but between populism and democracy. the democratic right has won at the cost of forming a giant coalition made out of five different parties. they really needed that many in order to beat the ever so popular ANO, and babiš himself.

and this appears to be happening again. the choice of the second round of the presidential election is between babiš and generál pavel. babiš being a populist who will say just about anything to win (including pointing at the general's millitary past and claiming that he will drag our country into the war, take your kids away and whatever else). generál pavel being a guy with diplomatic experience in NATO, who mostly bases his campaign on his unshakeable calm and order. which, to be fair, following the many years with miloš zeman does seem like a very alluring concept.

both babiš and pavel also have a communist past, much like most people their age in this country. while pavel was a regular party member (and gained part of his millitary training under the old regime), andrej babiš has been proven to cooperate with the secret police at the time, being their secret agent of sorts. the cynics would tell you that there its not a real choice, that its between a communist and an agent, that they both suck. but.

it's not just the choice between two people. it's once again between a real diplomat and a liar. they are many poignant arguments concerning these two, but let me just focus on this one, as it is the most important one to me. babiš as a person does not stand for anything. he will say anything to get what he wants. he contradicts himself on the regular and does not cope well with being called out. he makes himself out to be an underdog but he was the prime minister until last year, and as a prime minister proved himself to be both completely spineless and worthless. and yet, his loyal fans seem to forget. they seem to have a weird sort of parasocial relationship with the kind grandpa in a turtleneck that he presents himself as on the social networks. they don't care what he did or didn't do. they like him as a person. they don't care what he would do to the image or political orientation of our country. they don't care. they care that he baked a delicious vánočka the other day, just like they do, every christmas!!!!

generál pavel has his own minuses, one of the ones that get thrown around a lot-- having millitary past, it's not all clear what he's done while in the millitary. having had diplomatic affiliations before, they say we can't know for sure where all his allegiances lay. and he was a communist after all. but. the thing is. he's the only other option we've got. and he's not all bad. he speaks well, he's consistent in his opinions, and he's willing to listen to marginalised groups for reasons other than to make himself look good.

and he's decent. and unaffiliated with a particular political party. insistent on democratic values. it's a low bar, i know. but it's the best hope we've got...

#under the sun with kai #what i failed to mention is that there is a two week gap between first and second round of the election #and this time is so far getting used mostly by babiš to throw dirt on generál pavel and spread misinformation #which. makes generál pavel keep repeating the same shit every debate just defending himself. #this kind of past-based and fear-based campaign moreover sidelines the important issues. #such as actual presidential power. diplomatic relations. concepts for The Future of The Fucking Country. #i have a lot of thoughts. i hope i voiced them in at least a semi-understandable manner. #there is also a lot of memes made abt these elections if you're interested in those too hmu #i just didnt wanna mix up the serious and the funny because the serious already got so long #also for the record im not a politics student im an art student so this is my very basic assessment of the situation feel free to add to it #czech