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#she also better be ready to give kate some shit over being an adult and posting shit about minors
carebooks · 1 year
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listen, i was NOT going to fall down the most recent gossip girl rabbit hole after the mess that season 1 was, but then as i watched the trailer (just out of sheer curiosity) i am thoroughly reminded of the throuple that is Aki, Max, and Audrey and i find myself very close to clicking play and then the trailer hits me with GEORGINA SPARKS AND SUDDENLY I AM THIS ENTIRE SHOW’S BITCH LIKE YES, HERE, TAKE MY MONEY, TAKE MY SOUL, TAKE EVERYTHING I GOT
I swear to god, if she’s just here for a three minute cameo I am going to be so pissed.
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werenotadulting · 3 years
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Routine Procedure pt. 5
Over the next couple of days, it was actually abnormal for Kate not to give me some special attention down there during a diaper change. Just woke up? Let's try using my vibrator on your soaked diaper. Need a change before lunch? How about reverse cowgirl while laying there on top of your fresh diaper. Time for your night diaper? Bedtime blowjob.
Don't get me wrong, Kate and I have always had a very good sex life, but this past week was unlike any other.
On Saturday, in the middle of a mid-afternoon change, was when Kate suggested we try getting out of the house for a bit.
"You really soak through these diapers quick, Mike. We're gonna have to see about getting some more soon."
"I suppose we should, right? I mean, they're working infinitely better than that condom thing," I said as I was laying back while Kate took care of wiping me down.
Despite what she had said about showing me how to change myself, she didn't seem to mind taking care of it, and I was in no rush to put a stop to it considering what was in it for me.
"That's very true. There was only that one minor leak you had last night, which I'm sure we can find a way to prevent in the future. I'll put in an order for some new diapers tonight, so they get here by Monday."
Kate secured the last tape and ran a finger along the elastic leg gathers. "You know, that new game store opened up in the mall on the other side of town. What do you say we stop over there and see how it is?"
I froze. Being diapered at home was one thing. Going out in public though.... Kate seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.
"Mike. Earth to Mike. Remember what we talked about? No one is going to be paying attention to the size of your butt or the sound of your pants. And guess what? Even if they do, who cares? You have a medical need to wear diapers. Just like people who have trouble walking use canes, it's a medical thing. You didn't ask to be incontinent."
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I looked at myself in the mirror. My jeans appeared to do their job of concealing my diaper.
"You know," Kate popped up behind me in the reflection, "if you're so worried about people seeing, they do make onesies for adults. Just a thought."
I scoffed at her, and we headed off to the mall.
About 30 minutes later, we arrived. I couldn't help but notice that it seemed like there were a heck of a lot more people there than normal. Another 10 minutes later and we were finally able to find a parking space towards the back. As I got out of the car, I made sure my shirt was pulled down as far as it could go. It was all I needed for my shirt to ride up and expose my plastic waistband.
Kate grabbed my hand, but not before giving my padded butt a firm slap. The corner of her mouth turned up ever so slightly, and we walked hand-in-hand up to the mall.
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You know that feeling you get when it feels like someone is watching you? Yeah, it did not go away no matter how much time passed as we meandered through the mall.
Our first stop was in the food court, where we grabbed a late lunch of chicken and waffles. Kate went to order the food while I found a spot to sit down.
"All ready," Kate said as she walked up with a tray piled with chicken. "They accidentally made your lemonade a large, and I wasn't about time tell them they were wrong."
"It is the best homemade lemonade in town," I said, grabbing my plate off of the tray.
Kate set the tray down, then went to grab a couple of napkins. A few moments later, I noticed my shirt rising up and the back of my diaper being pulled open. I spun around and swatted the offending hand away, which turned out to belong to Kate.
"What in the hell do you think you're doing?!"
"Giving you a diaper check, what else?"
"We are in the middle of the mall!"
"It's been awhile since you had your diaper changed, and I know you are bad at knowing when you're at capacity," Kate gave me a 'prove me wrong' look.
"I'm fine!! Just... not out in broad daylight, please?" I pleaded.
"Well I didn't even get a chance to properly check just now, but if you say so...."
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After stopping in a couple clothing stores, ("Hey, we should think about getting you some new jeans. Those ones seem a little tight all of the sudden.") we finally made our way to the new gaming store. It was like a one-stop shop for gamers, with board games, collectibles, and video games. Towards the back, there were tables setup, where people could break out their games or card decks and hang out for a bit.
Once we had searched down all the aisles, we found ourselves in the back next to the gaming tables.
"Hey, we're looking for two more for Ticket to Ride! Do you guys want in?" said a blonde girl from a table in the corner. She and another girl were setting up the board, getting ready to start.
Kate's eyes grew to the size of saucers.
"Oh heck yes! I never lose at this game!" It was true, she did never lose, and she never let me hear the end of it whenever we played.
An hour later, and it was clear that it was between Kate and Melanie, the blonde girl, on who would be crowned victorious. The other girl and I had all but given up. Seeing that there was no way I could complete all my routes, I had long since resorted to my usual strategy of trying to sabotage Kate.
"Annnnnd 110, 111, 112. I have retained my crown," Kate gloated.
"Oh wonderful," I said, "I can't wait to hear about this all the way home."
"Well played, you two," Melanie chimed in. "Don't worry about cleaning up, we are actually waiting for some friends to come play a round."
"Oh thank you, that's so nice," Kate said as we both stood up to leave.
"Of course! It was nice meet....." Melanie trailed off, staring at my crotch.
Both Kate and I followed her gaze, and it was then that I saw that I'd had a major leak.
Large wet spots had formed down the inside of my jeans, as well as two half-moon  shapes on my butt. Looking at my chair, there was more evidence of my accident, there for all to see.
It was obvious to anyone looking what had happened.
I was speechless.
"Oh shit, we're so sorry! Let me just wipe this up..." Kate said as she frantically wiped the seat down with a tissue.
The girls were equally dumbstruck, as they watched Kate lead me out of the store waddling behind her.
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The feeling of eyes on me increased tenfold on the walk through the mall to the car. Without a jacket or anything to cover up with, we moved as fast as we could, whispers and giggles following us out.
In what seemed like an eternity later, we finally made it back to the car.
"I'll get the seats cleaned, don't worry baby, just get in." Kate pulled open her door and got the car started. I didn't need to be told twice, as I practically leaped into the car.
"That...I...I'm so embarrassed...." I was starting to get choked up, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
"Hey, hey, there there sweetie, I'm sorry. That can't have been fun, I know. It's not your fault." Kate was rubbing my back, the car still in park.
"That doesn't make it any less humiliating! And it's not even like I had a little accident, Kate, my diaper leaked!" I was almost yelling, my emotions getting the better of me.
"Shhhh baby, it's okay, take deep breaths, it's going to be okay. We didn't know anyone there, no one important saw, you'll be fine."
I was still upset, but I listened to her, taking steadying breaths that at least got my heart rate under control. Seeing this, Kate started to back out of our parking spot.
"Let's get you home and into a bath, baby," Kate soothed. We drove on in silence for awhile as I continued to calm down.
I think," Kate broke the silence, "that we might want to consider getting you some thicker protection. Just to be safe, you know? What do you think?"
"I think that means I will definitely be waddling, and it will be obvious to everyone what I'm wearing," I said, staring out the window.
"Well, do you prefer people maybe noticing that you walk a little funny, or running the risk of leaking like happened back there?"
"I don't know Kate, I just...I don't want to think about it."
"I'll take care of it then, babe," Kate said, "those hospital diapers are notoriously cheap anyway. We'll find something that works better for you. And I'll look into some of those onesies, so you don't feel so self-conscious about your diaper sticking out."
"Yeah, whatever," I said, as we continued down the highway.
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Kate knew exactly where to look when she logged on to order new diapers.
Let's see, she thought, I think probably a case of ABU Simple Ultra. Maybe a mixed case with some fun prints? No, it was too soon to go all-in like that. I'll just add in another pack of PeekABUs. That's 90 diapers, so at 2-3 diapers a day, that should be good for a month. Better throw in some boosters, too. And set up a recurring monthly order, yes please.
With that order placed, it was then to the ODU website, where she settled on several of their basic onesies.
"All in good time, Kate," she muttered to herself as she looked longingly at all of the cute designs. She could just picture how adorable Mike would look in that dinosaur onesie.
She was so horny right now. The sight of Mike in his wet jeans, his face burning bright red. Her hand slipped down the front of her shorts.
Oh fuck, she thought, he was so humiliated. She rubbed her clit to the image of Mike standing there over the pee puddle on his chair while those girls looked on.
Had she taped on his diaper perhaps a little loose before they went to the mall? Yes.
Had she intentionally ordered Mike a large lemonade? Also yes.
Had she suspected during her impromptu diaper check at the food court that Mike would protest and insist he was fine? Triple yes.
Had she known those flimsy hospital diapers would fail sooner rather than later, and she could talk Mike into something a bit thicker?
Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner.
Kate closed the laptop and got up.
She had a diaper boy she needed to fuck.
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argylemnwrites · 5 years
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Not Exactly Sure, But Maybe Sure Enough
Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)
Book: The Royal Romance (Post The Royal Heir, Chapter 4)
Word Count: ~1900
Rating:  PG-13 (adult language)
Summary: Riley Liu has never been much of a planner. But with the whole world seeming to be making plans for her uterus, she has to reevaluate the way she approaches challenges in her life.
Author’s Note: Written for Day 16 of the Choices July Challenge (prompt - Uncertainty). Can be seen as a companion piece to my Day 2 submission, “Living with the Consequences” (link is in my masterlist as I think that Tumblr still sometimes hates my posts with links embedded in them). Trigger warning for mention of pregnancy loss.
Wanted to take a look at the whole “Would Drake and a Drake-romancing MC really just agree to name their kid heir to the throne?” shenanigans from the perspective of my MC. After all, I probably should write more from her perspective since she is the one who would have to go through all the public scrutiny and judgement. I originally envisioned a much different piece than this, but what can I say? This just took on a life of its own!
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To say that Riley Liu hadn’t always thought things through fully was a bit of an understatement. After all, you don’t get on a plane with a guy you’d known for less than 24 hours to go compete in some strange political version of The Bachelor in a foreign country without being pretty impulsive. In all honesty, so much of her life could be seen as a series of decisions she put almost no thought into, bouncing into situation after situation because it sounded fun or awesome or sometimes, just better than her current circumstances. She’d jumped from job to job, casual relationship to casual relationship, friend group to friend group endlessly. Never any roots. Never anything permanent. Until one day, she found herself with actual, real friends, not just buddies you grab a drink with once or twice a month.
There was Maxwell, who gave her a family. Hana, who showed her what trust and honesty looked like in friendship. Liam, who welcomed her with such care, even when she made it clear she didn’t feel the same way about him that he did about her. They all took her in, this flighty, detached waitress and gave her a home, both figuratively and literally. A home she shared with her husband, a concept that still in some ways felt more foreign than the fact that nearly every hero she had for the past year used apple butter instead of mayo.
Finding Drake had been something she had never dared to hope for. Here was a man who seemed to understand her soul, the fears she had that she would always be alone in the end, that she was never good enough just as she was to be a priority to anyone. Sometimes listening to Drake talk about his life felt like looking at her own experiences through a fun-house mirror. Sure, the details were different; opulent parties and snobby nobles were worlds apart from a junkie mother and a variety of foster homes. But for all that distortion, at their core, their damage was the same. And maybe that’s why things always felt so natural between them, even when she was naïve enough to think that she could have a little fling with the cute prince, catch a flight back to NYC, and have a mad story for two truths and a lie going forward, leaving Cordonia behind without a glance back.
The love she felt for her friends, her husband, her new home she would have never experienced if she had stuck to her old habits and peaced out when things got tough, less lighthearted and silly and more filled with media scandals and political drama. She knew there was a lesson to be learned there, and while she would never be one to put together a five-year plan like she knew Hana was doing, she knew Riley Walker needed to be a bit different than Riley Liu. Or at least, she needed to work on being different. For her own sake, for her loved ones’ sake, and for the sake of the citizens she now answered to. While she might have leapt into the role of duchess without much thought, she recognized that being a political figure meant that she probably shouldn’t just roll along, indulging in every whim, every adventure, every idea presented to her, without at least thinking through the consequences somewhat.
So, she was trying this new thing, taking a few minutes to run through some good and bad possibilities for any decision before she jumped in with gusto, at least when it came to the major things in her life. She wasn’t going to let being married turn her into someone boring who was always stuck in a rut, but she could aim for a little stability. Spontaneous, not impulsive - that was her new goal.
And at first it was easy, settling in at Valtoria in those first few weeks, then heading to the private island for her and Drake’s honeymoon. Telling Drake that she was ready to start a family with him, and sooner rather than later, seemed like a calm, rational follow up to their discussion of their future back during the lantern festival. If felt like something responsible adults, responsible parents did. But suddenly it seemed like that was all they talked about, really all anyone talked about around them. And Riley didn’t know how to feel about that. What was the appropriate response to Madeleine telling her that she and Drake better be having a lot of sex, other than the petulant desire to offer to fuck her husband right now if Madeleine would just leave the room? How do you respond to congratulations for a thing that hasn’t happened yet? And what the hell made her typically grumpy, jaded husband respond to Liam’s request like a seasoned diplomat?
Sure, they had a few conversations about his reasons. And she got it, kind of. But did he really not have any doubts about the whole thing? Could he not see that this increased media attention was just the beginning, that their lives were not just their lives anymore? Everyone was going to want a piece of them.
And then of course, her miscarriage happened, leaving them both shell-shocked. Super common, according to Dr. Ramirez, and no reason not to try again. But Riley didn’t know if they should try again, at least not right away. Maybe this was a sign to slow down, to not force this whole parenthood thing at such a rushed speed. But to go back on birth control felt like they were failures, letting down Liam, their friends, and all of Cordonia. Everyone seemed to need their baby so damn much, Riley couldn’t bring herself to take a few months, maybe even a year, to process her loss and heal. She could sense a similar longing in Drake, to move on together, not as public figures but just as Drake and Riley. But after agreeing to name their child heir to the throne, the sacrifice of the timing of trying for another pregnancy seemed inconsequential. What was a few months compared to years of diplomacy classes, public scrutiny, and increased security threats? So they kept trying. And a few months later, they succeeded again. But they were wiser now. No one was going to know except them and Dr. Ramirez. Riley refused to take a pregnancy test at home for that reason. She thought she could trust her staff, but then again she had trusted Gladys, and look how that turned out.
But now she was into the second trimester, out of the most dangerous window, and in certain outfits, she was starting to show. She’d had to avoid some of her favorite shirts and dresses, and Hana had made a few comments that implied that she’d figured it out for weeks now. So she and Drake invited Liam, Maxwell, Hana, Olivia, Bertrand, and Savannah over for dinner. It was exciting to share their happy news, even if they didn’t get to announce it so much as Olivia called out the ridiculousness of their charade when Riley had to excuse herself due to nausea within 30 minutes of everyone’s arrival. On the other hand, it felt a little sad, to lose that shared secret between her and her husband. 
Because now this was the nation’s pregnancy, and never had that been more clear than tonight, as a stylist zipped Riley into a long gown that was as tight as clothing she’d worn before her pregnancy, clearly meant to highlight her bump that was still pretty damn small. Meanwhile, a makeup artist and a hairstylist, both also Madeleine’s “gift” for the night, primped and prodded. Kate Middleton didn’t let her hyperemesis stop her from looking polished, Madeleine had snipped when Riley balked at the whole styling crew, and her children were much farther away from the crown. 
“The mother of the next monarch needs to look like a queen, not some sickly, sloppy piece of work with bags under her eyes.”
Riley had a lot of thoughts about that she would have expressed if she was so damn exhausted, so she settled instead for a middle finger thrust in Madeleine’s direction. Oh well, a little impulsivity was probably excusable under these circumstances.
It all felt so surreal, attending this ball thrown in honor of her son or daughter who was still just a possibility at this point. A lot still could go wrong here, not the least of which was her puking on some diplomat’s shoes in the next hour. As she sat waiting for Madeleine to come and get her, letting her know that they were ready for her entrance as the womb that carried the guest of honor, she felt like she was walking through a fog. Riley Liu would have said, “Screw this shit,” and run away, hopping on a flight or catching a bus. Getting the hell out of this world full of pressure and expectations and demands. But Riley Walker couldn’t do that. She had obligations, and she had to see them through.
She heard the door opening, but didn’t turn to face Madeleine, wanting a few more moments with just her child, no matter how fleeting they would be.
“Hey, so I got a plan to get us out of there in 90 minutes. Two hours, tops.”
She let out a sigh of relief before she even fully processed her husband’s words. He was always finding ways to give them a little more time to be just… them. Not a duke and duchess, and now not the future king or queen’s parents. Just Drake, Riley, and now their little one. 
“How’d you manage that?” she asked, turning towards him as he crossed the room and crouched down in front of her chair. She noticed he hadn’t escaped Madeleine’s grooming plans, wearing a brand new black suit with his hair parted awkwardly to one side.
“Easy. I got Maxwell to agree to give a toast that will last a minimum of 15 minutes as an ode to the best childhood moments of all of Cordonia’s kings and queens. I figure we slip out to get you some air, and we just never come back. Hana’s promised to deflect any questions about our location after we make our escape.”
She reached down, giving him a gentle smile as she ran a hand through his hair, getting rid of that awful part. Now he looked and sounded like her husband.
All too quickly, their moment of privacy was shattered as Madeleine bustled in, taking one look at Drake’s hair and rolling her eyes.
“And just what do you think you two are doing? You’re supposed to make your entrance in less than a minute!”
“Just taking a moment in between,” Riley said as Drake stood up, squeezing her hand as he pulled her to her feet.
“Well, moment’s over. Let’s get going.”
It wasn’t how she would have chosen to go about this whole pregnancy thing, but for better or worse, this was how it was happening. As Drake held tight to her hand as they walked down the hallway, she was glad for was many doubts and uncertainties as she had about this entire heir-to-the-throne situation, at least they were fumbling through this together. They might have both been out of their element, but they had each other, and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough to get them through all of it.
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Tags: @dcbbw @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley–walker @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @butindeed @choicesjulychallenge @kinda-iconic @mfackenthal
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minbaepark · 5 years
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Unfold; [01/??]
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Pairing(s):Poly!JiKook x Female OC
Genre :Angst, Smut, Pining.
Warning(s): Homophobia (in later chapters), Violence (in later chapters), Mature Content, Vaginal, Anal, and Oral Sex (Later Chapters)
AN: Sooo it’s finally up! I hope it meets yall expectations, feel free to leave CONSTRUCTIVE Criticism. If you don’t like my writing, keep that to yourself babe. If you genuinely have some writing advice than I’m all ears babe. Here’s a life hack; if you can’t think of anything nice to say, than don’t say shit! 
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Jungkook stood dumbfounded and bordering on irritated as he tried and failed for the 5th time to unlock the door to his rental. Sighing, he reached into the pockets of his grey sweatpants, searching for his cell phone. Pulling it out, he hit the speed dial number for his landlord Kate, waiting rather impatiently for her to pick up. 
The older woman had certain disliking for Jungkook; it was something he knew from the minute he signed the lease. He never really paid any attention to her pointed glares or the snide comments she made about him, because it was something he was used to.
Most people didn’t like him based off his looks; the colorful tattoos that decorated his arms and neck, the black jewelry that pierced through his lips, ears, and tongue. To him they were art, created and perfectly drawn by one of his brothers, a constant reminder of his life and the love he had for his family. To others it was trashy and disgusting.
Jungkook didn’t care what those people thought though, especially not Kate. She didn’t have any right to say shit to him, especially since he followed every stupid rule she placed and paid his rent on time, sometimes even early. 
Honestly, Kate had no right or reason to lock him out, but Jungkook knew that the older woman was gonna find a reason. After what seemed like hours, Kate finally answered and Jungkook had to restrain himself from going off on the woman.
“What do you want Jeon?”
“Why did you change my locks, I paid the rent!”
 “I told you I didn’t want any drugs going on in my rental and you brought that brother of yours over!”
 Jungkook stood there in confusion which quickly turned to anger. She had been referring to Hoseok. Yes, his brother was a drug dealer, but they never did anything in or near the rental for this specific reason. Jungkook knew there was no way he was convince the woman that he had did nothing wrong, and knew this was the opportunity she had been waiting on to kick him out.
“Will you at least come unlock the door so I can get my shit.” Jungkook asked, placing the phone on speaker so he could text his brothers for help. It wasn’t like the rental was even nice to began with. It was pretty shitty in comparison with his brothers’ homes, but Jungkook wanted to live on his own, prove to his brothers that he wasn’t a baby anymore and could take care of himself. 
Now he was gonna have to crash at one of theirs and it was already fucking with him. He knew the six older men would drop anything and everything he needed them, but he was adult now; he should be able to take care of himself.
“You have one hour to get your stuff,” Kate’s voice came through Jungkook’s phone speaker, knocking him out of his train of thought. “and then I better not see you on my property again!” With that, she hung up, stating she would be there when she felt like it to unlock the door, leaving Jungkook to stand in the empty alleyway that lead to his home.
Sighing, he plopped down in front of the door, leaning his head back against the cold metal door. The young choreographer, ran his inked fingers through his black hair. He watched as his brothers began to respond. He tried to respond but they were all asking him questions at the same time. When he was finally able to answer the questions they bombarded him with, explaining the situation at hand, he rested his head back against the door, waiting for someone, anyone to arrive. It was cold in the city during this time, and he didn’t think to bring a thick jacket, because he was literally indoors sweating all day.
Jungkook cursed silently to himself as a chill came over him. He reached into his pockets to pull out some headphones, so at least he wasn’t sitting in complete silence by himself. Just as he plugged in his headphones, his phone began to ring. He couldn’t stop the small smile that crept onto his face when he saw the name “Mini-Hyung” pop up on his screen. Jungkook wouldn’t say he had a favorite brother, he loved all of his brothers, but he was closer to Jimin.
 Jimin, or Mini as he used to call him, was the first person to talk to him when Jungkook was placed in the orphanage they grew up in. Back then, Jungkook wasn’t the tall, muscular, tattooed covered man that most people feared, he was a small little boy who cried a lot and was scared of almost everything.
 Jimin had saw that the then 6-year old Jungkook was being bullied by one of the other kids in the orphanage and the 8-year old defended him, breaking the nose of one of the kids and scaring off the others. It was that moment that bonded the two of them. Jungkook was Jimin’s baby boy and no one messed his with baby boy. At first, Jungkook hated the nickname, it felt unfamiliar and weird and the kids used to make homophobic remarks and slurs towards the two males.  
Jimin didn’t mind the comments,”They’re just jealous that you’re not theirs.” He would always tell the boy, ruffling his hair. As they got older, Jungkook grew to love his nickname from Jimin. He knew that he was loved and after 15 years of being called “baby boy”, it felt weird for Jimin to not call him that. No one but Jimin and his girlfriend Kennie called him “baby boy”. It seemed like their was an unspoken rule in their little made-up family that they were the only ones allowed.
“Where are you baby boy?”
Jimin’s raspy voice filled the young man’s ear, unexpectedly sending shivers through his body. He could hear the anger laced in his words. He wasn’t angry at him, Jungkook knew that. In the 15 years that they knew each other, Jimin had never once been angry at Jungkook. Jimin would often joke about how he couldn’t stay mad at his baby boy, even if he tried. He knew the anger was fueled towards Kate.
“I’m sitting outside my door, waiting on the bitch to come unlock the door.”
“She’s putting you out?”
“Yeah, she’s giving me an hour once she gets here to get my shit out.”
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”
Before Jungkook could even reply, Jimin had hung up the phone, so he sat there and waited.
 Kenari sighed happily as she eased her sore body into the large tub of water. The scent of lavender filled the dimly lit bathroom, her bathroom playlist playing softly in the background as she let the hot warm ease and relax her sore muscles. With her hair in a messy bun, she closed her eyes, enjoying her bath. Between Jimin and work, Kenari or Kennie as she preferred to be called, she was amazed that she could even move a muscle.
 To be fair, she was the one who egged Jimin on most of the time, begging and damn near demanding him to “ruin her” as she so eloquently put it. It wasn’t like Jimin was bad in bed, on the contrary, he was the best she had ever had and while Jimin did and could give Kennie the rough sex she enjoyed so much, he preferred to be the slow and steady approach to sex.
 It was fine from time to time, but when you work with your boyfriend who happens to be very attractive and amazing with his hips, by the time they got home (sometimes before they even make it home) Kennie was ready to be ruined by him
Most people who saw the couple thought they were dating to boost their view on Youtube, stating that the choreographers wouldn’t nearly get as much attention if they weren’t dancing together, and while that was partially true, that wasn’t why they were together. It was true that they worked better together, but it was because of their chemistry and love for each other. Dancing was one of the passions that they shared. They both had genuine love for the art form, it was how they met.
They two had felt a connection instantly. Although it was purely sexual at first, the two quickly realized that they both wanted more out of the relationship, and two years later here they were, still going strong and living together. Jimin had even introduced her into his brothers, the only people Jimin loved, up until he met Kennie of course. 
Yes, he had some girlfriends and boyfriends, but none of them met his brothers and vice verse. He didn’t feel comfortable letting them get to know his family, knowing that the relationship wasn’t going to last, but with Kennie, it only took two months of dating before she was sitting on his lap at one of their weekly family dinners, laughing with his brothers.
It was also during this dinner, that Kennie met her best friends, and the women she would later call her sisters, Zazi, Honey, and Joie. Zazi and Kennie clicked almost instantly, having grown up in the same neighborhood. Honey became a big sister to Kennie, helping her figure out the dynamics and background of the family created. While Joie wasn’t officially a part of the family, she was still pretty close to them. There was something going on between her and Namjoon, even though neither one of them acted upon it.
Dating Jimin gave Kennie things she didn’t have before; A Family that loved and protected her, friends that were loyal and honest, and happiness that she didn’t know existed. There were other perks too. She got into “Black Dragon” which was a club owned by Seokjin, the eldest brother of the family for free and never paid for drinks, even though she tried to the first couple of time. She also got the “family discount” from Hoseok, even though she didn’t normally smoke or do drug. Kennie even got free work done by Namjoon, who did most if not all of the tattoos and piercings for the family. She got her makeup done by Honey, and would be invited to all of the parties the family threw.
Honestly dating Jimin felt like she was apart of an exclusive club, and while she enjoyed the perks of the family, she mostly enjoyed their acceptance of her. Growing up, Kennie had both of her parents, but they were never there. They worked all of the time and at first Kennie believed it was to make sure that they could take care of her, but as she got older, she realized that neither one of them wanted to have anything to do with her.
It was when she was 9 that she learned that they only married because their parents forced them to when Kennie’s mom was pregnant with her. It was during a drunken rage, when Kennie’s dad told her to her face at the age of 11 that she was a mistake,the product of a one night stand gone wrong.
 Her father never loved her or her mother. So it was at age 12, when Kennie ran away, staying with her friend’s family after her parents willingly signed her over to them. Now they no longer had to be together or deal with a child they didn’t want.
While she was loved by her friend’s family, it wasn’t the same. It never felt right when there was family events and she was the only one who wasn’t family. Her new family tried to make her feel welcomed and loved, but the damage had been done and when she was 17, Kennie moved out on her own, having saved up enough money to get her own place, but ended up couch surfing until she was 18.
The only thing that kept her sane in her childhood was dancing. She had watched music videos and seen the pretty dancers on the TV and wanted to be like them, so practiced day in and day out. Dancing was all she had, it was the one thing she could turn to express how she was feeling.
 Eventually, she started to take classes at school up until she graduated High School. Through the years, she had met a lot of other dancers who helped her hone her craft and even let her sleep at their place when she was on her own. It was during one of her dancer friend’s classes that she would meet the love of her life.
Kennie smiled fondly as her mind wondered to thoughts of Jimin. He had given her everything she could ever want. He had let her cry and be fragile and open around him and in return she did the same. She was the only one he had told about his not so little crush on Jungkook, the youngest of the family.
 Jimin had told her about ever fantasy, every sinful thought that came to mind whenever he was around the young man. While at first, the love he felt was strictly that of two friends, it quickly and almost out of the blue turned into an unquenchable lust for the younger man.
 Jimin told her all of this one night when he caught her practically undressing the man when he was helping them teach a class. At first, Kennie was sure that Jimin would be angry, but when he began to whisper in her ears all the things he would do and let Jungkook do to him, Kennie found herself squeezing her thighs together. She didn’t think she would be into something like that, but the idea of Jimin pining down the younger man and begging him to fuck him, drove her crazy. 
That was one of the moments that sealed their bond, their mutual lust over Jungkook. Over the years, that lust turned to genuine love for the man and the couple had even discussed how to get him to join their relationship without scaring him off. It never felt like right time and they were both afraid of ruining the family.
Jungkook was a sweetheart underneath all those tattoos and piercings. Even when he tried to seem intimidating, the two of them could see past the rough exterior to the adorable guy he truly was. Jungkook was goofy and sent the most random text during the middle of night which would normally irritate the couple, because sleep was a rare commodity for them, but when it came to Jungkook, they let it slide. He was their baby boy.
Kennie felt her body shiver as the realization that her once steaming hot water was now cold, and quickly released the stopper before. She climbed out of the tub, wrapping her fluffy black towel around her body, before she grabbed her cell phone and made her way to the bedroom she shared with Jimin. 
With the towel still wrapped around her, Kennie laid out of their bed, scrolling through the comments that were left on the latest video she and Jimin posted to Youtube. The positive comments outweighed the bad, even though the mean comments never got to her. She didn’t care if other people didn’t like her, her family loved her, Jimin loved her and that was all she needed.
Once she finally reached the last comment, her phone began to go off with the ringtone she set for Jimin. She smiled as she answered the call, ready to greet him when he spoke first.
“That bitch kicked baby boy out!”
Kennie sat up instantly, not caring that her towel fell off her body. She grabbed her phone, placing it on speaker, and headed to their closet, trying to find something to put on.
“Where is he, where are you?” She frantically asked, knowing that it was quite cold outside and Jungkook had a tendency to not bring a jacket because “I’m inside most of the day, so why bother” as he liked to say. Kennie threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top as Jimin spoke. “He’s waiting for her to come let him in, so I’m heading to his place right now, the guys are meeting me there to help him get his shit outta that place.”
Kennie could hear the frustration and anger in his voice and she didn’t blame him. That woman had it out for Jungkook from the beginning. Jimin and Kennie had offered for him to live with them in the guest room of their home, but he declined. Kennie and Jimin had kept their guest room ready for whenever the young man was too tired to go home after class, but now he was finally going to be staying with them. 
Kennie felt guilty for being so excited that he had gotten kicked out, and Jimin most of noticed by her silence. “I know what you’re thinking baby,’ He teased, his voice getting deeper with each word. “and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy about this too.” Jimin chuckled through her speaker. “Everything happens for a reason though baby.” He stated as Kennie sat on their bed.
 “Maybe this is the opportunity we’ve been looking for.”
 “I don’t want to scare him away Jimin.”
 “We won’t, let’s take it one day at a time.”
 Kennie nodded, even though she knew Jimin couldn’t see her. She knew Jimin had a plan and she also knew Jimin would never force Jungkook to do something he didn’t want to do, but what if he rejected them. She knew that this was something that could make or break their relationship and she didn’t want to lose the family she had longed for, for so long. 
Sighing, Kennie stood up from her spot on the bed and made her way to the room that Jungkook would be living in. She knew that they didn’t try then there would always be that regret and so she made up her mind, that this was something that they would slowly work on together. They weren’t going to force Jungkook into a relationship but they weren’t about to sit around and do nothing either.
 “Alright, one day at a time.”
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nervousgaylaughter · 5 years
Text
how'd we end up on a road we never took (chapter 1)
a kate and eva fake dating au
read on ao3
Kate is sick of her life. She’s sick of her homophobic parents. She’s sick of all the fake people at school. And she’s sick of Cairo and all her questions. It’s one thing to go to school and be interrogated about dating her best friend to go home and be lectured how she’s just in a phase. The duality of her two worlds is too much for her to handle, she knows it would all go away if she could just get a girlfriend. But her angry demeanor and unapproachable disposition has ruined her chances.
She can count all the girls she’s been able to deal with enough to actually like on one hand.
There was Bridget, her first real crush last year, who lead Kate on, but unlike Kate, was actually in love with her best friend Emma and started dating her, leaving Kate somewhat heartbroken. There were two good things that came from Bridget though: her gay awakening and her best friend Chess. Two unrelated things, but both important nonetheless.
There was Mallory from English who was so straight that it actually caused Kate to stop crushing on her. She was attracted to Mallory’s intelligence, she always had the best analysis for whatever they were reading, but ultimately dropped the idea when Mallory started dating the heartthrob of the school.
And there was Samantha, the bubbly girl she met at a week-long art exposition, who lived on the other side of the country. The girl felt like a breath of fresh air to Kate after being stuck in the same town for all of her life. She had a crush for a week, and then she left for home.
That’s it.
It’s not that Kate doesn’t find more than three girls attractive, it’s just that their personality is the overwhelmingly important factor for her. She feels like she’s already met everyone she’s gonna meet. The kids at Giles Corey High School have been in school together practically since Kindergarten. By the time she’s a junior in high school she accepts she’s never going to like any Tiger enough to date her.
Kate is getting dinner with Chess as she laments over her situation.
“There is a very good chance that all aspects of my life will improve if I had a girlfriend.”
“How do you figure that, Kate?” Chess asks with an amused grin.
“One, I’d have a girlfriend.” Kate says as if it were obvious, making Chess chuckle.
“Two, Cairo would stop insinuating that we’re dating.”
“Don’t let her get to you Kate, it’s not her fault she’s projecting onto you.”
“You know actually I think all our lives would improve if Cairo would finally admit she’s in love with Riley. She needs to get over the repressed lesbian bullshit already it’s been literally eight years.”
Next to them, one of the busgirls laughs at the anecdote as she’s cleaning one if the tables. Kate gives her some serious side-eye for eavesdropping.
Trying to get her friend to alleviate her death stare, Chess asks, “Are there any more points to your list?”
“Ah yes,” Kate perks up as the idea comes back to her mind, “Three, my parents would stop trying to tell me being gay is just a phase.”
Chess gives her friend the pity face to which Kate just rolls her eyes. Their conversation is interrupted by the waitress coming over.
“What can I get for you girls?” Kate and Chess come to Toni's Pizza after practice every Thursday so the waiter should be very familiar with the pair by now, but they go through this routine every time.
“We’ll have a large Hawaiian pizza with two root beers please,” Chess says with a smile. Kate thinks that pineapple on pizza is absolutely atrocious, but she told Bridget she liked it because it’s Bridget’s favorite and Kate was a useless baby gay. Bridget and Emma ordered it when they first introduced Chess to Kate and it’s far too late to correct herself now.
“Oh…” is all the waiter says as he goes to put in their order, clearly judging their order as he does every week. Same buddy, same, is all Kate thinks but instead she leans in towards Chess and says, “He acts like we haven’t ordered the same exact thing every Thursday for the past year.”
“Leave him alone Kate, it’s not his job to memorize the regulars’ orders.”
“It’d save a lot of time though.” The waiter returns with their root beers in bottles, and as much as Kate would never admit it, she likes her pop best like that. It makes her feel like an adult even though she’s too scared to drink alcohol. She takes a few sips and starts to blow into the bottle. She manages to get a steady sound out of it and starts playing a random rhythm.
“Do you have to do this every time?” Chess says to her friend staring her down as she continues to blow into the bottle.
“Obviously,” Kate says, but stops her incessant root beer music.
Just as Kate is about to continue telling her single life sorrows to Chess, the busgirl comes over.
“So I couldn’t help but overhear your story-“
“Yeah I noticed,” Kate says with a glare. The girl hesitates for a moment but continues, “Um, I think I have a solution.”
Kate really doesn’t want the unsolicited advice of a stranger, but she’s so desperate that she figures she could at least hear her out.
“So, my friend Eva, she’s a delivery girl, just broke up with her girlfriend and needs to save face at Homecoming so you two could totally just go together to get everyone off your back,” the busgirl looks extremely proud of her plan, and if she’s being perfectly honest, Kate’s not completely opposed to it.
Kate did recognize the name Eva though, since her family often ordered delivery from Toni's Kate would get their pizza (without pineapples) from the girl with the rainbow button on her jacket. Kate did notice that the girl was really attractive, and hoped the button meant more than just a rainbow, but wouldn’t let herself think about a complete stranger like that.
Friends all leave you eventually, Bridget did, so the less friends you have and the more people you distance yourself from the better.
Kate realizes that she’s been sitting thinking in silence for a little bit too long.
“Just until Homecoming?”
“Yeah. By then both if you will have made your point, ooh hang on gimme a sec,” the girl runs off and quickly returns with a piece of paper. “Write down your number. I’ll call her after she gets out of cheer practice and explain everything to her.”
“Eva is a cheerleader too?” Chess asks genuinely as Kate scribbles down her phone number.
“Mhm she’s the highest ranked flyer in the state. Are you guys cheerleaders?” Kate resists the urge to sarcastically grab the draw string bags that both her and Chess have on their chairs that say “Tigers Cheerleading” and lets Chess respond.
“Yup we go to Giles Corey.”
“Oh sorry,” the girl says, “I didn’t mean it like that it's just we go to West High and well, you know your team is kinda ass but I’ve seen you guys cheer and you’re good.” Kate may already know that they’re the worst team ever, but only she’s allowed to trash the Tigers.
“Great thanks for the idea,” Kate abruptly hands the paper to the girl, “bye,” she says with a little, somewhat patronizing, shooing motion.
Though the busgirl might already annoy the shit out of Kate, she wonders what Eva is like. If she goes through with this insane plan with someone she just barely knows what will she feel like by the end? What if Eva grows on me, Kate wonders but stops herself. She won’t let it get that far. They can pretend to be dating but she doesn’t need another friendship outside of that. If Eva somehow agrees to her friend’s plan, Kate won’t let them get close because that’s just how you get hurt.
“Earth to Kate… hello?” Chess waves her hand in front of Kate’s face. “Oh my God you’re actually considering this aren’t you?” Chess says.
“I mean-” Chess cuts her off with an amused laugh, “At first I thought 'Kate would never do something like this', but now I’m seeing how gay and desperate you are.”
“Think about it Chess, it’d be so nice for Cairo to stop teasing us all practice for once.”
“I tune her out, don’t you?”
“How can I she’s so incessantly loud. Also my parents would finally get off my back if they thought I was dating someone.”
“Do they still say you can’t be gay because you’ve never been in any relationship?”
“Yeah,” Kate says sadly as she puts her arms and head down on the table.
“That’s a big oof buddy.”
“I know. I’m just going wait and see if Eva even texts me before I do or say anything.”
Chess nods as the waiter brings their pizza. The rest of the dinner goes by relatively quickly, except for when Kate has to resist gagging to swallow the pineapple, and soon enough Chess is dropping off Kate at her house.
“You know you’re gonna have to get your license someday. I’m not gonna be here to drive you around forever,” Chess says to the shorter girl.
“Why would you remind me of that?” Kate says as she gets out of the car.
“Sorry bud, I don’t wanna leave you either but we have to accept that I’m going to college at some point,” Chess says through her window.
“I don’t have to accept it if I don’t think about it.”
“Hey look at me,” Kate was staring at the ground, but slowly looks up to Chess, “You’re my best friend. We’re always gonna be us no matter what, ok?” Chess holds out her arm with her half of their matching bracelets. Kate puts her own arm on top of Chess's so their bracelets align as they smile at each other and Kate backs away from the car.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Chess says as she pulls out of the driveway.
Kate just nods as she makes her way to her front door. She know no matter what Chess thinks right now, the truth is that they’ll grow apart. It happened when her oldest sister got married, when her older brother got a job overseas, and when Bridget went away to school. Why would this time be any different?
Kate forgets about her Eva situation as she gets ready for bed and attempts to read her book, but is too preoccupied mourning the loss of Chess even though it hasn’t happened yet. That is until she’s lying in the darkness and her phone lights up.
That’s it.
It’s not that Kate doesn’t find more than three girls attractive, it’s just that their personality is the overwhelmingly important factor for her. She feels like she’s already met everyone she’s gonna meet. The kids at Giles Corey High School have been in school together practically since Kindergarten. By the time she’s a junior in high school she accepts she’s never going to like any Tiger enough to date her.
Kate is getting dinner with Chess as she laments over her situation.
“There is a very good chance that all aspects of my life will improve if I had a girlfriend.”
“How do you figure that, Kate?” Chess asks with an amused grin.
“One, I’d have a girlfriend.” Kate says as if it were obvious, making Chess chuckle.
“Two, Cairo would stop insinuating that we’re dating.”
“Don’t let her get to you Kate, it’s not her fault she’s projecting onto you.”
“You know actually I think all our lives would improve if Cairo would finally admit she’s in love with Riley. She needs to get over the repressed lesbian bullshit already it’s been literally eight years.”
Next to them, one of the busgirls laughs at the anecdote as she’s cleaning one if the tables. Kate gives her some serious side-eye for eavesdropping.
Trying to get her friend to alleviate her death stare, Chess asks, “Are there any more points to your list?”
“Ah yes,” Kate perks up as the idea comes back to her mind, “Three, my parents would stop trying to tell me being gay is just a phase.”
Chess gives her friend the pity face to which Kate just rolls her eyes. Their conversation is interrupted by the waitress coming over.
“What can I get for you girls?” Kate and Chess come to Toni's Pizza after practice every Thursday so the waiter should be very familiar with the pair by now, but they go through this routine every time.
“We’ll have a large Hawaiian pizza with two root beers please,” Chess says with a smile. Kate thinks that pineapple on pizza is absolutely atrocious, but she told Bridget she liked it because it’s Bridget’s favorite and Kate was a useless baby gay. Bridget and Emma ordered it when they first introduced Chess to Kate and it’s far too late to correct herself now.
“Oh…” is all the waiter says as he goes to put in their order, clearly judging their order as he does every week. Same buddy, same, is all Kate thinks but instead she leans in towards Chess and says, “He acts like we haven’t ordered the same exact thing every Thursday for the past year.”
“Leave him alone Kate, it’s not his job to memorize the regulars’ orders.”
“It’d save a lot of time though.” The waiter returns with their root beers in bottles, and as much as Kate would never admit it, she likes her pop best like that. It makes her feel like an adult even though she’s too scared to drink alcohol. She takes a few sips and starts to blow into the bottle. She manages to get a steady sound out of it and starts playing a random rhythm.
“Do you have to do this every time?” Chess says to her friend staring her down as she continues to blow into the bottle.
“Obviously,” Kate says, but stops her incessant root beer music.
Just as Kate is about to continue telling her single life sorrows to Chess, the busgirl comes over.
“So I couldn’t help but overhear your story-“
“Yeah I noticed,” Kate says with a glare. The girl hesitates for a moment but continues, “Um, I think I have a solution.”
Kate really doesn’t want the unsolicited advice of a stranger, but she’s so desperate that she figures she could at least hear her out.
“So, my friend Eva, she’s a delivery girl, just broke up with her girlfriend and needs to save face at Homecoming so you two could totally just go together to get everyone off your back,” the busgirl looks extremely proud of her plan, and if she’s being perfectly honest, Kate’s not completely opposed to it.
Kate did recognize the name Eva though, since her family often ordered delivery from Toni's Kate would get their pizza (without pineapples) from the girl with the rainbow button on her jacket. Kate did notice that the girl was really attractive, and hoped the button meant more than just a rainbow, but wouldn’t let herself think about a complete stranger like that.
Friends all leave you eventually, Bridget did, so the less friends you have and the more people you distance yourself from the better.
Kate realizes that she’s been sitting thinking in silence for a little bit too long.
“Just until Homecoming?”
“Yeah. By then both if you will have made your point, ooh hang on gimme a sec,” the girl runs off and quickly returns with a piece of paper. “Write down your number. I’ll call her after she gets out of cheer practice and explain everything to her.”
“Eva is a cheerleader too?” Chess asks genuinely as Kate scribbles down her phone number.
“Mhm she’s the highest ranked flyer in the state. Are you guys cheerleaders?” Kate resists the urge to sarcastically grab the draw string bags that both her and Chess have on their chairs that say “Tigers Cheerleading” and lets Chess respond.
“Yup we go to Giles Corey.”
“Oh sorry,” the girl says, “I didn’t mean it like that it's just we go to West High and well, you know your team is kinda ass but I’ve seen you guys cheer and you’re good.” Kate may already know that they’re the worst team ever, but only she’s allowed to trash the Tigers.
“Great thanks for the idea,” Kate abruptly hands the paper to the girl, “bye,” she says with a little, somewhat patronizing, shooing motion.
Though the busgirl might already annoy the shit out of Kate, she wonders what Eva is like. If she goes through with this insane plan with someone she just barely knows what will she feel like by the end? What if Eva grows on me, Kate wonders but stops herself. She won’t let it get that far. They can pretend to be dating but she doesn’t need another friendship outside of that. If Eva somehow agrees to her friend’s plan, Kate won’t let them get close because that’s just how you get hurt.
“Earth to Kate… hello?” Chess waves her hand in front of Kate’s face. “Oh my God you’re actually considering this aren’t you?” Chess says.
“I mean-” Chess cuts her off with an amused laugh, “At first I thought 'Kate would never do something like this', but now I’m seeing how gay and desperate you are.”
“Think about it Chess, it’d be so nice for Cairo to stop teasing us all practice for once.”
“I tune her out, don’t you?”
“How can I she’s so incessantly loud. Also my parents would finally get off my back if they thought I was dating someone.”
“Do they still say you can’t be gay because you’ve never been in any relationship?”
“Yeah,” Kate says sadly as she puts her arms and head down on the table.
“That’s a big oof buddy.”
“I know. I’m just going wait and see if Eva even texts me before I do or say anything.”
Chess nods as the waiter brings their pizza. The rest of the dinner goes by relatively quickly, except for when Kate has to resist gagging to swallow the pineapple, and soon enough Chess is dropping off Kate at her house.
“You know you’re gonna have to get your license someday. I’m not gonna be here to drive you around forever,” Chess says to the shorter girl.
“Why would you remind me of that?” Kate says as she gets out of the car.
“Sorry bud, I don’t wanna leave you either but we have to accept that I’m going to college at some point,” Chess says through her window.
“I don’t have to accept it if I don’t think about it.”
“Hey look at me,” Kate was staring at the ground, but slowly looks up to Chess, “You’re my best friend. We’re always gonna be us no matter what, ok?” Chess holds out her arm with her half of their matching bracelets. Kate puts her own arm on top of Chess's so their bracelets align as they smile at each other and Kate backs away from the car.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Chess says as she pulls out of the driveway.
Kate just nods as she makes her way to her front door. She know no matter what Chess thinks right now, the truth is that they’ll grow apart. It happened when her oldest sister got married, when her older brother got a job overseas, and when Bridget went away to school. Why would this time be any different?
Kate forgets about her Eva situation as she gets ready for bed and attempts to read her book, but is too preoccupied
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iamcinema · 5 years
Text
IAC Reviews #005: Await Further Instructions (2018)
I've been on the prowl for a film that gives me vibes like Would You Rather or Cube again. There's something about the isolation, paranoia, and mistrust that can make for a quality watch. So going into this, I was expecting a type of game to be played at the expense of someone else suffering in the process and the title alone made think about something you'd see on Adult Swim.
So how did our time waiting for instructions go?
Await Further Instructions in One Gif:
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Okay. Let's take things back a bit.
Have you ever hated a pack of characters that were so unlikable that you got excited over the prospect of them dying? I'm not even saying that in the sense of having genuinely good villains that brought you blissful satisfaction over them getting their comeuppance either. I mean truly god awful characters that are just so annoying, meanspirited, and hateful that seeing them get written off make up the only enjoyable scenes period - like, that's how much they fucking suck.
Aside from Nick and Annji, nobody is likable or even remotely pleasant; not even in the way, as I referenced with Would You Rather, where you had deplorable scumbags either enacting terrible things onto others or having no real shame, remorse, or second thoughts about what they're about to inflict on the other person. There, you could at least have some fun with characters that you loved to hate. Here, you just have characters you hate and just about any scene that isn't focused on the two of them alone is one of constant stress.
Usually, for me, when it comes to movies with characters who sole purpose just seems to infuriate you, the tipping point takes a while for that to show. It's a true labor love to culminate that one character that feels like a cosmic punishment, and it's not very often that just them breathing or the first sentence that comes out of their mouth proves that first impressions really are everything.
To be brief, Nick's family likes to lay it on super thick about their beliefs and aren't shy to tell Nick that he's the problem, as he hasn't come home in years, or make it clear Annji isn't welcome in their house. Yeah, they're that perky charming bunch. I was hoping that with one of them, they'd be that kind of person with some sort of secondary trait to them, even if it's negative; like that hateful bigot who happens to be uncomfortably charismatic or the sleazy womanizer who is just the perfect amount of being an arrogant monster that makes you want to hate and love him.
A good example here would be Kate, Nick's younger sister. She's written as the clichéd, bigoted bitchy type of character who stirs the pot the most and starts much of the conflict with Annji (next to Granddad, who seems to take joy in it). Her only other real defining characteristic is that she's expecting, which you think would give her more depth or sympathetic... but it doesn't - even when the stakes are drastically raised. It just leaves you feeling like "Okay...and?", and not much else. Perhaps if there was a tipping point where she had a change of heart or did something admirable that she'd garner anything resembling a pat on the back, but still no.
This ends up being the case for the rest of Nick's family as things progress. There's no character development, their motives are confused as shit, and there's never really a true point where you see any of them make a solid path forward. You'll see a nudge in the right direction where you think you'll see someone do anything remotely productive or helpful to the cause of the group...and yet...take a guess.
A telling moment comes in the form of Kate needing help after shit goes down. Nick makes it very clear that Annji is the only one that can help save her since she works at a hospital - as Scott, her [Kate's] own husband, who also has medical experience, refuses to do anything. Even when it's made explicitly clear that she will die if Annji can't help, they refuse to budge. It's like this whole family has a fucking listening problem, and when the obvious happens, they still refuse to do anything productive to help give them the slightest chance of surviving the night. It's so exhausting to see the only two characters you want to root for who give a genuine shit about what's going on keep getting the run around, only to go through all of that for what?
I hate that I have to keep focusing on characterization here, but it makes up the bulk of the problem I have with this movie. I've rooted for the killer(s) before when it came to this very issue, with characters like Tony from Blood Lake or Alan from Return to Sleepaway Camp being so annoying or irritating that they made finishing the film feel like a chore. But I have never endured a movie so frustrating that I hated five of your seven characters. I don't know if that was the intention or not either. It's one thing to have genuinely unlikable characters due to their actions or motives, but at least give the viewer something about them that at least makes their screen presence one of tolerance or even apathy - not wishing for sweet release that doesn't involve only turning it off.
If it wasn't for this one big fucking problem, then I'd have more interest in the plot and what's going on.
Honestly, if you just focus on the bare bones concept, it's not that bad and is one we've seen variations of before; which is that of a family being trapped in their house on Christmas Eve with no means of escaping or making contact with the outside world as they're receiving ominous instructions and messages of impending death from their television if they don't comply. With that alone, there's many ways you can drive the story and it could be interesting - but this all goes out the window because of the characters. Even with movies like Cube, you have characters that clash and obvious tension there due to their situation and how one of them poses a serious threat to their survival - but that didn't halt the plot or made it feel like pulling teeth to have everyone get their shit together.
Outside that, the only other thing you have to look at would be the special effects. They really aren't that anything too remarkable, at least to me when it's directly in relation to features that are keeping them trapped in the house or what happens if someone tries to escape. The effects in the third act when we get the "big reveal" about whose behind the happenings are just barely that much better. But I'm not sure how much of me feeling underwhelmed is due to being burnt out due to the sheer amount of fuckery we had to out up with to get this far.
Writing this has been a long, exhausting task, and now I'm ready to call it quits here. This was more of a rant than a review, but I feel this is one of those films worthy of such a treatment. It's been a long while since I've felt this tired over a film, and I'm almost offended by how disappointing it was. For the first time in years, I'm giving a single star to each of the only tolerable characters and half a star for the half-way decent idea that got thrown away. Now, I'm off to bed as means to apologize to myself for what I just endured.
Rating 2.5/10
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clementineverett · 7 years
Text
Chasing Waves - Chapter 1: Global Warming
I FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST DAMN CHAPTER HOLY MOLY
I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!! :D
[Ao3 link]
Summary: Clementine chuckles before asking, “So, what’s the verdict?”
Gabe meets her gaze and nods. “I’m in.”
OR: Wanting to escape his dad’s expectation of joining the army after graduation, Gabriel Garcia stumbles across his opportunity in the form of the annual National History Bowl Championship.
Chapter 1: Global Warming
Of course.
Of fucking course Kate would tell him Mari’s ballet lessons ends at 5:00, not 5:30.
Gabe turns away from the reception desk with an exasperated sigh. As annoyed as he is, Gabe admits to himself that maybe he does run on Hispanic time. Consistently showing up to school fifteen minutes late for the past three years is an achievement his dad and Kate like to remind him on the daily. Given his track record of punctuality, he admits Kate made a smart move.
However, Kate had underestimated how eager Gabe still is to take the beat-up car he affectionately calls “Sexerella” (or “The Gabemobile” around his family) out for a spin. He had worked at Howe’s since the beginning of the year to save up for it -- a beige sedan older than he is that sports a few shallow dents. His old neighbour Pete offered her for $800 cash. Dad even inspected the car and commended on her well-maintained condition, given her old-ish age. Only the brake pads needed replacing.
Gabe considers grabbing an ice cream cone and waiting out the next thirty minutes at a nearby McDonalds, but gas is expensive and Gabe isn’t exactly balling, okay? So he plops down on the bench in front of the dance studio and prays there’s wifi. But before Gabe pulls his phone out, he peers into the windows of the studio and his breath catches in his throat.
Of all the people he expected to see today, Gabe definitely does not expect to see Clementine. Clementine, with the wide amber eyes, the curly hair often tucked under a baseball cap. Clementine, as in the girl he hasn’t maybe completely been lowkey crushing on for the past three years. Clementine, as in his best friend’s adopted sister who is not only totally out of his league, but also probably off-limits.
(Not that Duck had ever explicitly stated it -- Duck doesn’t even know, for starters. It’d be a cold fucking day in hell before Gabe would ever admit to Duck that he maybe has a thing for Clementine.)
And today, Clementine is helping an older woman (the instructor probably) correct the postures and stances of younger students. He knew she did ballet, from Duck’s offhand comments about dance rehearsals over the years. Gabe internally regrets not tagging along with Duck to her recitals.
Which isn’t weird, right? The Gordon household was essentially his second home, after all. But come to think of it, he had never exchanged more than a handful of sentences at a time with Clementine.
On an average day, Gabe would come upstairs from the basement to grab a glass of water in the kitchen after a grueling match of Melee with Duck (No Items, Fox Only, Final Destination). He’d stammer out a hello to Clementine, who’d normally be studying in the dining room or curled up on the couch with a mug of tea, and then run back downstairs before he could run his mouth and say something stupid like he usually does around cute girls.
He’s only here to fetch Mariana and get back home, easy peasy. Don’t look like a moron. Maybe even say hi to Clementine. But most importantly, don’t look like a moron. Or a creep. With that thought, Gabe rips his eyes from Clementine and glues them to his phone.
Browsing on his phone makes the half-hour wait go by smoothly. Students pour out of the door, signalling the end of the lesson. Mari isn’t among them, unsurprisingly. Gabe remembers how excited she was when Kate and Dad finally saved enough to pay for ballet classes.
Sucking in a deep breath, he pushes the studio doors open and suddenly pauses in his tracks. The sound of violins flood the room.
Clementine moves effortlessly across the floor, arms flowing above her and then behind her like a silk banner caught in a gentle breeze. She eases onto one foot and spins on her toes -- once, twice, three times -- then glides into a stance, with her arms reaching in front of her, her leg stretched behind, and her foot high above her head. Gabe is mesmerized.
And the door promptly collides with his face.
He stumbles backward and lands hard on his bum. Gabe instinctively presses his hand to his cheekbone where the door had hit it. It’s tender and smarting like a motherfucker. In that moment, he prays for two things: 1. that the bruise won’t be too obvious, and that 2. no one saw that.
Unfortunately for Gabe, God does not answer prayer number 2.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Gabe looks up to see Clementine standing over him, her eyes wide in surprise and concern. Great, he cringes internally.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Gabe replies as he struggles to his feet. “Hi, Clementine,” he greets her, his face burning in utter embarrassment. Real fucking smooth, Garcia.
“Hi, Gabe,” Clementine says, brows furrowing in worry. “Are you sure you’re okay? That looked like it really hurt.”
“I’m fine, really,” Gabe refuses to meet her gaze. “Have you seen my sister, Mari, by the way?”
“Gabe!” he hears Mari call out as she rushes to him. “What happened?”
“Accident,” Gabe quickly responds. “Anyways, Kate sent me to pick you up, so,” he adds, “are you ready to go?” Gabe’s just a little desperate to leave. He’ll nurse over his bruised face and bruised ego the moment he gets home.
“Yeah,” Mari replies, nodding.
“Okay,” Gabe says. He stammers, “I, uh, I’ll see you at school next week, Clementine.”
“See you around,” Clementine replies. “You should probably get some ice for that.” She gestures to the bruise starting to form on his cheek.
“I will, thanks,” Gabe answers, absentmindedly scratching the back of his head.
“Okay then,” Clementine says. “I’ll see you next class, Mari.” Gabe huffs out a sigh when they reach the parking lot. Plan: Don’t Look Like A Moron has crashed and burned miserably. No survivors here.
Mariana snorts.
“What?” Gabe asks.
“That was kind of sad to watch back there,” Mari says lightly.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“The door slamming on your head?” Mari responds. “I saw the whole thing.”
“It was an accident,” Gabe insists.
“You mean how your brain fries itself whenever you’re around a girl?”
“You’re crazy,” Gabe interjects. “It was just an accident. And my brain doesn’t fry itself, okay? I know how to act around girls,” he asserts with a thump to his chest. “I’ve had girlfriends before.”
“A girlfriend,” Mari corrects with a grin, “and that was in middle school? How long did that last again?”
Gabe swats Mari on the arm playfully. “You know, maybe leaving you on the side of the road is a good idea.”
“You wouldn’t,” Mari scoffs.
Gabe rolls his eyes before admitting with a fond sigh, “No, I wouldn’t.” He ruffles her hair wildly. “You’re my little sister, after all. It’s your job to annoy me.”
“Gabe! What the heck!” Mari yelps, ducking away. She combs her hands through her hair with an annoyed huff.
“Don’t fucking swear, Mari,” Gabe lectures, deadpan.
Mari rolls her eyes. “You’re such a dweeb.”
“Love you too,” Gabe teases as he unlocks his car.
“I’m guessing you’re picking me up from ballet from now on?” Mari asks with a smirk as she climbs into the passenger seat.
“Yes,” Gabe adds as he locks in his seatbelt, “but it’s only because Kate asked me to, since I have a car and I’m pretty much an adult now.”
“Riiiiiiight,” Mari singsongs, wiggling her eyebrows.
“You know,” Gabe suggests, “I was thinking of stopping by good ol’ Ronald for some ice cream, but since you’re being mean to me right now…”
“Oh come on,” Mari pleads. “Please? Can we?”
“I don’t know,” Gabe sighs, shrugging. “You really hurt me, Mari.” He dramatically places a hand over his heart and sticks his bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout.
“Alright, alright,” Mari concedes with an eyeroll. “I’m sorry, Gabe. Okay?”
“That’s better,” Gabe grins as he backs out of the parking spot. From the corner of his eye, he spots Mari fishing something out of her pocket. “What’s that?”
“It’s Pipo’s,” Mari replies quietly, showing him a portable cassette player.
Gabe nods solemnly. “Pop the cassette tape in.”
Gabe catches a glimpse of the tape’s label: Mi vida, mi corazón. He smiles as familiar salsa tunes drift through the car. The wind roars through the rolled down windows and threads through Gabe’s hair. Today, he’d forgone his beanie.
“This is the tape he always plays when he dances with Yaya,” Gabe recalls.
Mari chuckles. “Yeah. It’s his favourite.”
Gabe smiles wider at the fond memory. He used to find it embarrassing when he was younger. In hindsight, it was actually really adorable. Now Gabe would give anything to watch his grandparents dance again. To see Yaya laugh and smile like she did before. Just once more.
“I miss Pipo,” Mari murmurs.
“Me too,” Gabe sighs. “You know,” he changes the subject, “he kept a journal when him and Yaya left Cuba in 1980.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I found it on a shelf at him and Yaya’s house,” Gabe says. “Dad must have been a baby when they left.”
“I wonder what made them leave Cuba,” Mari wonders.
“Cause of some guy named Fidel Castro,” Gabe responds. “He imprisoned and executed a lot of people who were against him. Even people who were thought to be against him.” Gabe grimaces. “I don’t blame them for leaving, it must have been really scary back then.”
“You got that from all documentaries you’ve been watching, haven’t you?” Mari asks.
“I wanted to know all the shit that was going on at the time,” Gabe says with a shrug.
“Books exist, you know,” Mari points out, “and they’re a lot less noisy, too.”
“But do books have moving pictures and explosions?” Gabe replies with a dismissive wave of a hand. “And besides, does it really matter how I learn?” He taps the side of his forehead. “Knowledge is power.
“Inglourious Basterds doesn’t count,” Mari drawls. “And besides, why would anyone want to know about what a bunch of old guys did years ago? Boooring.”
Gabe gasps sharply. “First of all, Quentin Tarantino’s movies are fantastic,” Gabe objects, “and secondly, that was the only history-related thing you actually managed to stay awake for. If you had just stopped falling asleep in the middle of the other actual historical films, I’m sure you would’ve found it interesting.”
“I fell asleep because they were uninteresting,” Mari responds sarcastically.
“Come on,” Gabe says, “how do you not find it interesting at all? How things came to be? Why our family came to the States in the first place? The wars and global events that literally affected everyone? How is that not interesting?!”
“I mean that’s cool, I guess,” Mari remarks, “but it’s just not my cup of tea.”
“Fair enough.”
“Hey,” Mari chuckles, “at least learning some history is more productive than bashing your head on the sidewalk all summer, like you did last year.”
“For the record,” Gabe starts, “I did finally master that kickflip, so it was totally worth.”
---
They hear the yelling before they even make it out of the driveway.
Gabe glances at Mari, who winces.
“Just go to your room, okay?” Gabe assures her. Mari nods meekly.
Inhaling deeply, he turns the key and swings the door open.
“Unless you want to dig up my CO’s fucking corpse-”
“David, it was an accident,” Gabe hears Kate plead. She’s clutching her left hand with a towel that’s stained bright red. Pieces of shattered glass lie scattered around the kitchen floor where they’re standing. “Maybe if we can actually afford a dishwasher, this wouldn’t have-”
“Do not start with this again,” his dad roars back, “that is the absolute last thing I need when I come home from work to support this family and pay off Pa’s treatments-”
Gabe retreats to his room, locking the door behind him before flopping onto his bed. He pops his headphones in, selecting a random song on his phone and maxing out the volume until the thundering drums and screeching guitars drown out the world.
He hates it when they get like this. Which is rare to begin with, though, since Kate usually goes along with whatever Dad says. Not that he can blame her, honestly. It’s the easier thing to do.
His phone beeps, shaking Gabe out of his thoughts. A text message from Duck.
Duck Gordon (6:17 PM): THE END IS NIGH
Gabe snorts and types out a reply.
Gabe Garcia (6:18 PM): Wat
Duck Gordon (6:18 PM): Senior year starts next week bitchez
Right. Gabe swallows nervously.
On one hand: fucking finally. It wasn’t that high school had been bad. It had just been so… average. He got decent grades, skateboarded with Duck, and generally stayed out of trouble. His high school life, so far at least, is nothing like those melodramatic teen soap operas Mari likes so much. Not that he wants his high school experience to be filled with messy love triangles and skeletons in the closet. But all those movies and TV shows Gabe had seen over the years made high school seem so magical, you know?
On the other hand: he graduates from high school… and then what?
“Not today,” Gabe groans to himself as he sits up on his bed. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets there.
Gabe pulls up his laptop, an outdated thing his uncle Javi passed down to him. He can’t run League of Legends on it anymore (he needed to quit anyway, since it really brought out his temper) and it’s a little laggy, but it still does the job when it came to watching YouTube and scrolling through social media. Gabe decides to finish up on the last hour of this documentary he’s been watching about the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He pops the disc in the laptop and makes a mental note to drop off the DVD at the library tomorrow, since it’s due that day anyway.
He’s about half an hour in (and close to tears) when a loud knock rattles his door. The doorknob jiggles. “Gabe?” It’s Dad. Gabe instantly flies to the door and opens it.
“Why did you lock your door?” Dad snaps.
“Force of habit,” Gabe replies quietly. “Sorry, I won’t do it again,” he quickly adds.
“Good,” his dad comments curtly as he tiredly runs a hand over his head. Gabe can’t help but notice how even more salt and pepper-y his dad’s hair has become. “I need you to take Kate to the clinic tomorrow morning. Can you do that?”
“Yes, dad,” Gabe answers. He watches his father intently, noting the clenched jaw and the tension in his shoulders. Don’t set him off again. Just be the obedient son he needs you to be right now, Gabe thinks to himself.
“Gracias, mijo,” Dad says. “I know I can count on you.” Dad gives him a squeeze on the shoulder before smiling at him fondly. “Look at you, starting your last year of high school next week,” he breathes a deep sigh. “It only seems like yesterday you were running around in your diapers.”
“Now I’ll be graduating,” Gabe replies, smiling back.
“And then you’ll be enlisting, just like your old man.” His dad beams at him proudly.
Just like your old man. The words echo in his head. Gabe’s mouth goes dry. “Of course.” He swallows hard.
He doesn’t remember exactly when Dad started expecting him to join the army. (Since forever maybe?) But Gabe had always went along with it. Although it always fills his heart to see his dad puff his chest out in pride because of him, the thought of inevitably enlisting also fills his stomach with dread.
“By the way,” Dad starts, interrupting Gabe’s train of thought. “What happened to your face?”
Gabe instinctively touches his bruised cheek. “I ran into a door, that’s all.”
“You should get some ice for that, mijo,” his dad clasps him on the shoulder one last time before turning away. “There’s some soup in the kitchen, too. Don’t stay up too late.”
The kitchen is cold when Gabe steps in. The window is thrown open. The floor is free of glass. A pot sits on the stove. Kate leans on the counter by the window, smoking a cigarette. Her hand is wrapped in gauze, the blood dried to a dark, brownish red.
“There’s some food on the stove,” Kate says before taking another drag of her cigarette.
“Thanks,” Gabe replies as he helps himself to a bowl. “How’s your hand?”
“It’s been better,” Kate mumbles. “Nothing too serious, though. The cut’s not deep and I’ve cleaned it as best as I can.”
“Well,” Gabe begins, “Dad wants me to take you to the clinic tomorrow, so…”
Kate sighs, shrugging. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have someone look at it.”
“We can go before your shift starts,” Gabe suggests. “I’ll drop you off at your work, too.”
A small smile forms on her face. “Thank you, Gabe,” Kate says.
“What happened, earlier?” Gabe asks quietly. “If you don’t mind me asking…”
Kate looks so drained, with her slumped shoulders and shining eyes. “It’s nothing, really. I dropped your dad’s army glass, that’s all.”
Gabe frowns. He knows how important that glass is to Dad. Gabe would be upset too if something sentimental to him broke. But Kate also got hurt, you know? Yelling at her, especially when it was an accident, just… left a bad taste in his mouth.
Kate must have seen the look on his face, because she quickly adds, “Don’t worry about it. Your dad and I talked it out. We apologized. We’re good now.”
Gabe nods, a little wary. “If you say so.”
---
  Gabe normally likes to sit window-side and towards the back row. Not the very last row, though, where the teacher's voice drowns out into a low, coma-inducing drone and the heat of the afternoon sun entices sleep. And not the very front row either, where the teacher can watch your every move.
Except today, Gabe slides into a desk at the front row and lets out a nervous breath. Sitting at the front of the classroom naturally makes you more attentive (at least, according to a few internet articles). After all, AP World History may be his last class of the day, but it’s his first Advanced Placement class, ever. Sure, Gabe isn’t a terrible student. But he’s not exactly top-of-the-class material -- just enough to make Dad and Kate happy. And besides, he’d also been in an Honors class before (in freshman year). It can’t be all that different, right?
Gabe watches as students enter the classroom and immediately recognizes most of them as the top-of-the-honor-roll types: those who’ve been taking AP classes since sophomore year (and even freshmen, for some of them), whose sights set high for Ivy League. His stomach sinks a little.
His mouth goes dry and his stomach knots when Clementine enters the classroom. No duh she’d be in this class. Gabe always saw her name on the honor roll, and knows how often she studies, as it was the one activity she was always doing every time he would be at Duck’s house. Plan: Don’t Look (Even More) Like A Moron is officially back in motion. This is going to be a long-ass year, Gabe internally grumbles to himself.
“Hello, class,” Mr. Everett greets as he begins to pass around the course outlines. “Welcome to AP World History. As you know, this class is equivalent to an introductory college course.”
Gabe swallows nervously. Mr. Everett does the roll call before briefly explaining the basics of AP tests and scoring. Gabe follows along, jotting down important information.
“A common theme you’ll notice throughout the course is that no matter the era or the civilization,” Mr. Everett scrawls the next words he says on the chalkboard, “there is always war and conflict.” He underlines the words, further emphasizing them.
“Instead of just talking about the syllabus today,” Mr. Everett turns to the class, dusting his hands of chalk, “I’d like to start off this year with a discussion.”
Mr. Everett returns to the chalkboard and writes in all capitals: IS WAR JUSTIFIABLE?
Every hand in the room shoots up.
Gabe notices that most of the answers his classmates give are a variation of Sometimes. Not that it was wrong or anything -- everyone has a right to their opinion, after all. But Gabe’s sweating as he mentally prepares himself, running through the points he wants to make and recalling the facts he’s learned from the documentaries he watched.
“Gabriel?” Mr. Everett’s voice pierces through the fog of his nervousness.
“Yes,” Gabe stands in his desk and clears his throat. “Right, um. I don’t think war is justified. Ever.”
The classroom immediately breaks into a buzz.
Mr. Everett shushes the class before he turns back to Gabe. “And why do you think that?”
“Because,” Gabe begins, suddenly feeling every eye on him. He inhales a deep breath before saying, “it’s just not right that the people at the top can declare war while everyone else pays the price. While innocent people pay the price.”
“Pretty sure the people who enlisted knew what they were signing up for,” pipes up a classmate. A few stifled giggles erupt behind him.
“That’s not what I meant,” Gabe bites back. He clenches his hands into fists to still them from shaking before he continues, “I meant like, men, women, and children who never asked for war, whose homes were invaded. People who were killed because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time, like Hiroshima and Nagasaki.”
“Well, it was because Japan refused to surrender,” another classmate challenges. “More people would’ve suffered and died if America had invaded Japan instead. Would you rather lose millions of lives or just several thousand?”
“Two hundred thousand,” Gabe corrects, blood pounding in his ears. “War is more than just a numbers game. Sacrifice two hundred thousand people to save more? Okay sure, but two hundred thousand people still died, you know? And most of them were just regular old folks minding their own business when the bombs hit. They didn’t deserve to die. Life is precious but life is irreplaceable too. The lives that were saved because of the bombings aren’t replacements for the lives that were lost.”
“So what,” someone responds, “countries should just do nothing then, like how Britain dealt with Hitler in the late 1930s? Should people just stand by and do nothing while something like the Holocaust happens?”
Gabe goes silent, brows furrowing in thought. When he meets the gaze of his challenger, he’s greeted by their smug, triumphant expression. “No,” Gabe finally admits, grudgingly.
“So then doesn’t that make war justifiable?”
“I’m not saying that countries should do nothing,” Gabe declares, his blood boiling. “But war often comes with war crimes, too. Both the Allies and the Axis raped thousands of women. Both sides bombed each other’s cities -- cities filled with innocent civilians. Cities like Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I think countries should step in and stop things like the Holocaust from ever happening. But even if the cause you’re fighting for is good, raping and killing innocent people isn’t. And that is never justifiable.”
The bell rings, a sudden shrill noise that startles Gabe out of his thoughts.
“All right, I’ll see you all tomorrow then,” Mr. Everett says to the class. “You all have a good day. Gabriel, can I see you for a moment?”
When Gabe is done packing his things, he makes his way to Mr. Everett’s desk. “You wanted to see me, Mr. Everett?”
“Yes,” Mr. Everett says, nodding. “I just wanted to commend you on what you said in our class discussion.”
“Oh,” Gabe responds, scratching the back of his head. “Thanks.”
“Have you ever heard of the principle of ahimsa?” Mr. Everett asks.
Gabe shakes his head.
Mr. Everett raises his eyebrows. “I’m surprised, because a lot of what you said reminds me of that. We’ll actually be touching on it in the course. But anyways, ahimsa is an important principle in Hinduism, Jainism, and Buddhism. It means to not harm. Non-violence. Ahimsa has greatly influenced theories of war and military ethics, and was also central to the independence movement of India.”
“The one with Gandhi, right?” Gabe faintly recalls from previous social studies classes.
Mr. Everett nods. “All forms of resistance against the British Empire were non-violent and it actually worked, as India finally achieved their independence in 1947. In fact, it worked so well that it influenced the Civil Rights Movement right here at home.”
Gabe nods thoughtfully. “Huh, no way.”
“Yeah,” Mr. Everett says. “Well, I also wanted to talk to you about joining our History Bowl team. I really think you’d make a great addition, and I’m not saying that just because I’m the sponsor teacher.”
History Bowl. Gabe had heard of that before -- isn’t that some kind of Jeopardy for history or whatever? Where a bunch of Ivy League types from different schools gather round and flex their knowledge or some shit? Gabe is certainly not Ivy League level, and the idea of being stuck in a whole room of them… ok well, he is in AP World History. But still. Gabe’s about as average as you can get, honestly. And besides, who wants to study for fun? He’s got enough classes to worry about.
Mr. Everett must have read his mind or something, because he says, “I know it’s not as glamorous as the football team, but I really do think you’d be great at it. At least consider?”
“Thanks,” Gabe replies a little sheepishly. “I’ll think about it.”
“Great,” Mr. Everett says, “You have a good day then, Gabriel.”
“You too,” Gabe replies as he leaves the classroom.
---
Gabe spots his uncle sitting on the porch as he approaches his house. A worn box sits next to him. “Hey, Javi. What are you doing here?”
“Hey, buddy,” Javi says. “I was hoping Kate would be here. I’ve got a package to drop off.” He gestures to the box.
“How long have you been waiting?” Gabe asks. “And what’s that?”
“Just ten minutes, no biggie,” Javi replies, grinning, “and these are your abuelo’s cassette tapes.”
“You have his cassette tapes?” Gabe questions.
“Just some of it.” Javi says. “I hear music really helps with memory. Maybe your dad can take them with him when he visits your abuelo.”
Gabe peers into the box. Cassette tapes stack on top of each other, almost spilling over the brim. “Those are… a lot of tapes.” He turns to Javi and quietly asks, “Why don’t you go with my dad?”
Javi looks away, scratching the back of his head. “I love your dad,” he sighs. “He is my brother, after all. We just… don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things.” His gaze rests on the box. “Let’s just say your dad doesn’t agree with how I’m… processing all of this.”
“Was that what it was about?” Gabe mumbles, studying his uncle’s face. “You know. Two weeks ago, at Yaya and Pipo’s house?” He recalls the yelling being so loud from he could hear it from the backyard. His abuela crying, pleading with them to stop. A door slam that seemed to shake the walls and the air around them. A loud tire screech. Javi nowhere to be found after. His dad dark-eyed and tense and silent for the rest of the night.
“Sort of, yeah,” Javi answers, quietly.
Gabe decides to change the subject. “So why does Pipo have a lot of cassettes?”
Javi smiles, eyes tinged with fondness and melancholy. “He made a mix for every event,” Javi sigh. “Like, every event. Not even just for milestones and holidays, but for days when it rained, when the sun shined. I think he has a whole tape dedicated to cafecito.” Javi shakes his head, chuckling. “Freaking obsessed.”
“More than dominoes?” Gabe asks, almost astounded.
“More than dominoes,” Javi affirms. “That man really loves music.”
Gabe chuckles, shaking his head. “Well, since Kate’s out, I can let you in and you can put it on the coffee table or something.”
“That’d be great, thanks.”
Gabe unlocks the front door and steps inside. He plops his backpack on the floor of his bedroom and double checks his pockets to ensure his wallet, phone, and keys are still with him before heading back towards the door.
“By the way, I need to pick up Mari from school and drop her off to ballet,” Gabe says to his uncle. “Do you need me to drive you back to your place?”
“No I’m good, my car’s just down the street,” Javi responds. "Actually, is it okay if I tag along? I feel like it’s been ages since I really spent some time with you guys.”
“I hope my dad won’t mind,” Gabe wonders hesitantly.
“I hope not,” Javi says, sighing. “Listen, no matter what’s going on between me and your dad, we’re still family.” Javi then playfully nudges him in the shoulder. “Now come on, I’ll treat you and Mari to McDonalds.”
Gabe grins. “You sure you want to wait out until Mari’s lessons are over, though?”
Javi cocks an eyebrow up. “You’re gonna wait out the whole hour?”
“Hour and a half,” Gabe corrects. “Plus, it’s kind of a waste of gas to keep driving back between home and the studio. Global warming, am I right?”
Javi snorts. “Since when did you care about global warming?”
“I always have,” Gabe shoots back, “but especially since I started noticing gas prices, you know?”
“Of course,” Javi says with a laugh.
When Gabe pulls up in front of Mari’s school, she climbs into the backseat and sets her duffel bag of ballet stuff next to her. “Hey uncle Javi,” Mari greets. Gabe feels her nudge at the back of his seat. “Are we heading to the studio right now?”
“Yup,” Gabe replies.
“But it’s only 3:15, and class starts at 4,” Mari points out, “can’t we wait at a McDonalds or something?”
“Well, Javi is planning to treat us after your lessons anyway,” Gabe responds, “and besides, it’ll be 3:30 by the time we arrive to the studio. You can wait another thirty minutes. Go practice or something.”
“Oh, I see what this is about,” Mari drawls, glaring at him through the rearview mirror before smirking. “You’re just eager to see Clementine, is that right?”
Gabe nearly swerves the car. “What?!” He sputters.
“Who’s Clementine?” Javi asks excitedly.
“No one,” Gabe interjects hastily.
Mari simultaneously answers, “His girlfriend.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend!” Gabe yells, knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel hard.
“She’s the teaching assistant for my class,” Mari says matter-of-factly, completely ignoring Gabe, “She’s really pretty, and she also goes to Gabe’s school. I think she’s also Duck’s sister?”
“Aww,” Javi sings, grinning.
“She’s not my girlfriend!” Gabe yelps indignantly, cheeks flushing.
“Uh-huh,” Mari sarcastically mutters.
“Mari,” Gabe hisses, glaring fiercely when they make eye contact through the rearview mirror.
“All right, all right,” Mari grumbles. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”
“Thank you,” Gabe huffs, annoyed. He relaxes his grip on the wheel.
“Clementine is amazing at ballet, though,” Mari says with wonder, “I want to be just as a good of a dancer as she is one day.”
“I believe in you, Mari,” Javi replies, “You can achieve anything you set your mind to.”
“Thanks, Javi,” Mari says, smiling. “Maybe it’s not a bad idea to get some extra practice in,” she admits.
“Told you,” Gabe remarks, and spots Mari rolling her eyes at him through the mirror.
Predictably, Gabe doesn’t see Mari exit the studio when the lesson finishes. Gabe pushes the doors open (and steps through them quickly before they can crash into his head again).
“Clem, you should come with us,” he hears Mari practically beg, “My uncle, Gabe, and I are going to McDonalds. It’ll be really fun.”
Gabe freezes in his tracks. She’s doing this on purpose, isn’t she? She’s totally shitting him right now. Seriously, Mari? Wow.
“Gabe!” Mari calls out to him. She’s beaming brightly and sporting puppy dog eyes. He knows that look and sighs internally. Okay, so she’s definitely not trying to mess with him. Somehow, that makes it worse. “Can Clementine come with us? Pleeeease?”
“Um,” Gabe mumbles, scratching the back of his head. He desperately tries to force down the blush that begins to rise in his face.
Okay. So. It’s not like he wants to say no because honestly? That’s a little dickish. But Plan: Don’t Look Like A Moron failed spectacularly last time and Gabe definitely does not want to risk embarrassing himself in front of her again. He’s not sure if he can survive it.
Before Gabe can reply, Javi calls from behind him, “Of course, of course. The more the merrier.”
“I do have an hour to kill before my shift starts,” Clementine says, shrugging.
Mari beams. “Great! I’ll grab my stuff.”
“You, uh, work with the Gordons, right?” Gabe finally manages to unswallow his tongue and speak. “I can drop you off at the diner before your shift.”
“If it’s any trouble-” Clementine starts.
“It’s not,” Gabe replies sheepishly. “Really, it isn’t. It’s on the way home, anyway.”
Clementine nods gratefully and smiles. “Thanks, Gabe.” Gabe’s heart immediately accelerates. “I’m just gonna pack up and change.”
Gabe nods, his eyes unconsciously following her as she exits the studio. Did she really just smile at him? Was that real? He didn’t imagine it, right? Holy shit.
“What happened to ‘global warming?’” he hears Javi ask slyly. Gabe doesn’t turn, fearing his face is bright red.
“I’m just being nice,” Gabe asserts defensively.
“If you say so,” Javi casually replies.
---
“Please,” Javi begins, “I insist, Clementine. You’re our guest.” The four of them are standing in front of the counter. Gabe hears an exasperated sigh behind him -- another impatient customer, probably. They’ve been holding the line up for only a minute or so. Jeez.
Gabe watches as Clementine hesitantly puts her wallet back into her pocket. “You’re too kind, thank you.”
“No worries,” Javi says before addressing Gabe. “Gabe, why don’t you and Clementine find us a booth? Mari and I will wait for our order.” His uncle’s eyes glint playfully.
“Uh yeah, sure,” Gabe replies. He contemplates maybe killing his uncle as he and Clementine sit down at an empty booth.
“By the way,” Clementine begins, “Good job in the class discussion today.”
Gabe’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh. Thanks.”
“What made you join AP World History, by the way?” Clementine asks, brows furrowing in curiosity. “Not that I’m saying you’re not smart or anything, but I didn’t think you… well, it’s just that I haven’t seen you in the other AP classes before-”
“I’m not exactly the AP student type, I know,” Gabe admits, nervously laughing.
Clementine chuckles with him. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to ask.”
“It’s okay,” Gabe replies. “I, um, kind of switched into that class last minute, I guess? It was sort of a spur of the moment.”
“Really?” Clementine cocks her head sideway in curiosity.
“Yeah,” Gabe responds. “Well, um, I’ve always liked social studies, and I also watched a lot of history documentaries over the summer. Made me realize how much I liked learning history. So I figured, why not?” He scratches the back of his head absentmindedly as he shrugs. “How about you?”
“I really like history, too,” Clementine replies. “I want to do a minor in History when I go to college, and you know, the AP class would be great for the transfer credits.”
“What are you planning to major in?” Gabe asks.
“Dance,” Clementine answers. “Hopefully at the University of Georgia. They have a pretty good ballet program.”
“That’s great,” Gabe says. “You’ve, uh, been doing ballet for a long time, right?”
“Yeah,” Clementine says, “Since I was 7 or 8. I really love it. But how about you? What are your plans after high school?”
Gabe’s eyebrows rise. He’s caught off guard. “I…” He trails off, lost in thought. What the hell is he supposed to say? “I’m still figuring it out, to be honest,” Gabe finally answers.
“No worries,” Clementine responds. “But if you plan on going to college, you should join the History Bowl team. It’s a great opportunity and looks really good on college applications.”
“Mr. Everett talked to me about that earlier today,” Gabe notes.
“He is the sponsor teacher,” Clementine says. “And this year, I’ve been made captain of the team. We need more members -- one more at least. It’s just me and Sarah now, since Arvo graduated last year.”
“Arvo?” Gabe recalls the familiar name. “You mean that really smart Russian kid? Didn’t he graduate early?”
“Yup,” Clementine sighs loudly. “He also got accepted into MIT’s engineering program.”
“Wow,” Gabe says in awe. “That’s… pretty impressive.”
“It becomes less amazing the more you hear about it,” Clementine drawls. “Arvo never failed to remind me every single week.” Gabe notes the way she rolls her eyes with deliberate annoyance.
“Duck told me he was kind of a dick,” Gabe replies.
“Oh, he definitely was,” Clementine says with a hint of a grin. “Big brain, bigger ego. But because of him, we did get pretty far last year. And this year, I really want to win the National Championships. So,” Clementine pauses, exhaling a deep breath, “I’m asking you to join the team.” “Me?” Gabe asks incredulously. “I’m no Arvo, though.” He looks down at the table.
“I’m not asking you to be Arvo,” Clementine replies. “Besides, it’s clear from the discussion today that you’re passionate about history, and you seem to know a lot about it. Give yourself some credit. We’d be lucky to have someone like you on the team.”
Gabe’s heart skips a beat. “I, um…” He trails off, attempting to fight the heat beginning to rise in his face. “Can I think about it, at least?”
“Of course,” Clementine says. “Well, tomorrow is Club Day, and I’ll have a table set up in the atrium during lunch. Come talk to me when you’ve made your decision.”
“Sounds good,” Gabe responds.
“If it helps,” Clementine starts, “the grand prize for the Nationals is a scholarship. Divided among the teammates, of course.”
“Really?” Gabe asks with a piqued interest.
“Yeah,” Clementine says, “it’s a pretty decent amount. But I think you have to use it within a year before it expires.”
Gabe hums and nods thoughtfully. “I’ll let you know tomorrow?” He asks.
“Sure thing,” Clementine replies.
---
Gabe is in the living room watching TV when he hears the keys turn and the front door unlock. His dad steps through. Gabe quickly checks the time on his phone. It’s nearly 10:00 PM.
“Hi dad,” Gabe greets him. “Long day at work?”
His dad nods. The exhaustion is apparent on his face. “Yes, mijo. Have you eaten dinner yet?”
“Yeah,” Gabe answers. “Kate put the food in the fridge, by the way.”
Dad suddenly pauses. “What’s this?” he asks, pointing to the box on the coffee table.
“Javi came by earlier today,” Gabe tells him. “He dropped off a box of Pipo’s tapes.”
His dad frowns slightly, brows furrowing as he chews on his cheek. “Okay,” his dad comments quietly. “Anyways. Come sit with me,” he invites him. Gabe nods, and follows his dad into the kitchen.
“How was your first day of classes?” His dad asks as he opens the fridge.
“It was good,” Gabe replies as he reaches into the cupboard to grab a plate for his dad. “We just got our lockers and course outlines, that’s all. Real lessons start tomorrow.” He sets the plate on the dining table. “But we did have a class discussion in AP World History today.”
“An AP class?” His dad notes. “You know, it doesn’t really matter what kind of grades you get. As long as you have a high school diploma, the military will accept you just fine.” He shrugs dismissively.
“I just wanted to take it this year,” Gabe asserts quietly.
“Okay,” Dad responds. “What did you talk about in class?”
“Whether war is justifiable or not,” Gabe answers. “A lot of the class said it was justifiable sometimes.”
“But what did you say?” His dad asks.
Gabe immediately regrets bringing up AP World History. “I said it wasn’t justifiable,” Gabe murmurs. He studies his dad’s face, trying to decipher the unreadable expression he now wears. “Why?” Dad says with an eyebrow raised. “Sometimes we have to fight back when bad guys threaten the rights and lives of other people.”
“I guess,” Gabe says uncertainly. “I was talking more along the lines of, um, war crimes. Like murdering and raping innocent people. Stuff like that.”
“That doesn’t really happen anymore, mijo,” his dad says pointedly. “There are international laws that stop that from happening now, don’t you know that?” His dad lets out a harsh sigh before taking a bite of his food. Gabe winces slightly.
“I know. I just, I don’t know,” Gabe mumbles, shifting his gaze down. “I was just offering another view. That’s all.” He half-lies.
His dad only nods and continues to pick at his food. Gabe takes his leave and heads to his room.
He shuts the door behind him quietly and sits on his bed, lost in thought. Gabe had been on fire earlier today, adrenaline pumping and blood boiling and thinking on his feet. He had a lot to say in class, but all the points he wanted to repeat to his dad seemed to just… evaporated from his head or something.
I’m just tired, Gabe justifies to himself. And Dad’s tired too. A debate is the last thing he needs.
Though, Gabe really did enjoy the class discussion today. He normally hates debates -- Gabe usually never knows enough to effectively participate, and he hates how tongue-tied he  can get. Except today, Gabe actually did know enough, for once. There was something incredibly satisfying about being able to prove your points with cold, hard facts. Like a perfect one-two punch. And damn, did it feel good.
Maybe joining the History Bowl team isn’t a terrible idea. Sure, it’s not quite the same as debating morals and whatever like they did in class today. But Gabe has always found his history and social studies classes so much more interesting than his science classes. He liked learning about importants events that happened, and how and why they still affect people today. It always intrigued him.
And besides, Clementine did mention the scholarship grand prize. If they win Nationals, then he’d have no choice but to attend college. Dad would understand. He would see. Surely.
But I’m nothing like Arvo, Gabe admits to himself internally. Winning Nationals sure as hell isn’t a guarantee. It’s a slim chance, especially with the likes of someone like himself. Someone like me, Gabe thinks. He is… painfully average.
But, he has to try, right? Taking a chance can’t hurt. It’s not like it’s totally hopeless -- Clementine mentioned Sarah was on the team too. And they’re both really smart. He’s not on their level, sure, but Gabe can compensate with a lot of work and effort. Winning Nationals is definitely possible, he decides.
Dad will understand. Dad will see.
---
Gabe pushes through the crowd of students, his mood slightly souring with every shove of a shoulder. Just when he’s had enough and considers charging through the swarm like a bull on the loose, Gabe stumbles into empty space.
He spots a simple poster (HISTORY BOWL CLUB, it reads) hanging down the front of the table. Clementine and Sarah sit behind, chatting.
“Hey,” Gabe calls out breathlessly, giving a small wave to Clementine. She waves back. He approaches their table.
“Woah there, you’re gonna have to wait in line,” Clementine says sarcastically, gesturing to the considerable lack of students around them.
A grin plays on his lips. “Hilarious,” Gabe replies with equal sarcasm.
Clementine chuckles before asking, “So, what’s the verdict?”
Gabe meets her gaze and nods. “I’m in.”
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another big old fuckin rape warning jfc
incest warning too i guess? lmao this book
AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK CHAPTER im not ready
four days after the first encounter and kate hasn't made another move - "But she hadn't moved from the lifeguard perch all week, hadn't even spoken to him. She'd just watched him like a hawk, gaze trained on him, as he'd stroked through the water. One by one the other swimmers had left, and he'd remained behind, torn between disappointment that she hadn't done it again, and complete and utter relief that she was staying away from him."
and then she does: "He swam lap after lap beneath her scrutiny. Then, just as he did one last flip-kick and headed for the stairs in the shallow end, he felt the vibration of her approach in the water. And then she was swimming alongside him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't know what else to do except to keep swimming. What was he supposed to do? ... He thought about all those human, adult things that he hadn't done, that she obviously had—get a job, have a car..."
so then they stop swimming, and she takes his hand:
She smiled at him, much more shyly than he would have expected. She looked down, then peered up at him through her lashes.
"What you must think of me," she murmured.
His heart was pounding so hard he was sure that she could hear it. He had no idea what to say to her, and he also had no idea how to get out of the pool without embarrassing himself.
Except . . . he didn't want to get out of the pool. He wanted to kiss her.
"There's something about you," she whispered. "I've been thinking about you all week. I tried to stay away. I mean, you're a student and I'm . . . well, I'm not a teacher. But I'm close. To being a teacher."
She swirled her fingers through the water. "And this really isn't my style, you know? I don't come on to men like this."
Men. She thought of him as a man. He licked his lips, completely tongue-tied.
what kills me about this is that this is what he does in the show when confronted with kate, or other things that make him uncomfortable (jennifer) - when derek can't think of the right thing to say he goes dead fucking silent. he just plain stops talking. & i'm like devasated at the idea that it's a lifelong habit 
and then, this is the most manipulative part:
"I wish you'd say something," she murmured. "I'm kind of dying right about now. I'm sorry if I misread your intentions. I won't bother you again."
His intentions? Misread them? He was baffled. But then he thought about all the looks he had thrown her way. How he'd glanced up at the lifeguard tower every time he'd made a turn to head down the lane. Maybe he had been sending out signals.
THAT'S TEXTBOOK GASLIGHTING JESUS CHRIST HE'S SIXTEEN
it gets worse! she "assumes" he has a girlfriend and pretends to be all shocked when he says he doesn't because he's "so handsome and all" and then says "look this is happening in such an awkward way i dont mean to crowd you im just drawn to you i cant rly explain it" exCUSE me oh my god and then adds "but i don't want you to think i'm just after, well, YOU KNOW" THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE but he's sixteen and never had a girlfriend so he doesn't know any better!!!!
so she asks if he wants to go for coffee and show her around and then adds "we'd have to be careful bc outsiders wouldn't understand" i'm pretty sure they'd understand just fine :///
like i knew it was like this but im still so outraged on his behalf jesus
and he's thinking about how he doesn't know any coffee places in beacon hills bc he spends most of his time out of the community but SHE says:
"I think we're both having the same thought," she murmured. "Privacy."
Privacy, as in being careful not to be seen together while they were hanging out? Or privacy as in . . . oh, God, was she serious?
"So we can get to know each other." She pondered a moment. "Would you think I was too forward if I invited you to my apartment? Just for coffee?"
and he's like panicking running through his options bc he wants to go but he's supposed to meet laura and there's only one car - she offers to drive him home, and oh, wouldn't she just love to know where the hale house is - but eventually he just says he needs to check in with his sister first - and she's like, "laura hale? oh dont be startled i made some discreet inquiries about you" and it doesn't trip his creep radar bc he doesn't have any life experiences but holy fuck that's like right next door to stalking
as an aside i don't like how they use wolf as a verb in this book it's weird - he began to wolf, his eyesight wolfed - like nah. no thanks
uhhhhh so derek asks laura to pick him up in 3 hours and she's like "whats in it for me" and he's like "i wont tell dad i saw you frenching josh" JOSH THEIR COUSIN??
the exact words were josh was peter's sister-in-law's kid
that's, uh
i mean that means peter's brother's kid, then, right? which means laura and derek's blood cousin???? alright then
oh god kate came in the locker room in JUST A TOWEL while he was talking he can't get a minute away from her
laura's like "ur gonna go do something slutty with a human aren't you" THIS IS CONTRADICTING SEASON 1 CANON LOL derek never told anybody about kate! laura is super weird in this book if my 16yo little brother was about to go sleep with a teacher i would never be so chill about it
Oh, sweetie, getting your attention is like shooting fish in a barrel, Kate thought as she drove Derek in her car to her apartment. It was across the street from a bar, which, from her point of view, was convenient for when she wanted to hang out with the grown-ups. She was wearing a pair of jeans, heeled boots, and a black low-cut cashmere sweater. I can practically hear you slobbering. It's like you're a big puppy dog and I am a juicy steak.
this dialogue.......
i wasn't like, having the worst time reading this book, it wasn't actually that bad, but jesus
oh my god
"The thrill of this new hunt raced through her. The euphoria of the chase. She never, ever got tired of dangling herself in front of males of all kinds. It was no accident that in ancient Greece, the deity in charge of the hunt was a goddess—Artemis. Beside her, Derek "Aquaman" Hale had his head resting on the back of the seat and his eyes closed. He was really good-looking. This was not going to be the most difficult thing she'd ever done in her life."
good GOD 
so she offers him a drink, and starts with coffee, but quickly escalates to wine: "I like to have a little something to unwind after I'm at the pool, you know? Lucky thing I live across the street from a bar." She said that to goose him a little, remind him she was a woman, with a woman's needs.
and that he's sixteen.
now she's talking about how she doesn't even know if derek and the hales are the wolf pack she's looking for: She had her orders, but she had to be sure. Kill werewolves, and you were a hero. Kill people, and you were a mass murderer. The group she was involved with had detected werewolf activity in Beacon Hills, and she just had a feeling about the Hales. Of course, there were several other large families in the area that might make up the pack she was seeking. Derek's furtiveness and hesitation might have nothing to do with her assignment. There were reasons other than being a werewolf for not wanting to bring home someone who was way too old for you. It hadn't dawned on him to question the motives of a pretty woman who was coming on to him. He believed what he chose to believe.
apparently she has some tragic backstory w/ this? "Menwerewolves and humanswere so simple. They always assumed you wanted them. Some fat man on a couch burping and watching cage matches? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. A guy who threw you around the room and accused you of cheating on him? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. Like a hole through your heart. But the good one? The one that you really did want? A flash of rage roared through Kate, but she kept it at bay. She could feel it trying to take over, like a wolf scratching at her door. Rage was not her enemy. Rage got the job done. In ancient Greece—land of Lycoan, said to be the first werewolf—men who pissed off the goddess Artemis were ripped to shreds by her hunting dogs. Several times a day, Kate dreamed about ripping various people to shreds. Of course, she never acted on it. She left that for others much less able to control their savagery." see, like, if derek wasn't 16, i could buy bad men in her life leading her to want to use men like this, but derek is a boy and she talks continuously about how innocent he is, so like...no slide
i know i'm just doing a lot of copypasta rn but it speaks for itself: "She watched as Sweetie Derek politely moved a packing carton off her sofa and sat down. What a body. Still boyish, but with the sweet promise of a truly splendid man. If she was right about the Hales, Derek would never become a man. Just as he wasn't really a boy. He was a monster hidden inside a human disguise." that aligns pretty well with the "they're all just a bunch of dumb animals to me" shit she talks in 1.11, also, "Sweetie Derek," this is so horrible
she finally pours them wine and leans against the counter to "give him a view" - "She waited for his response. He was staring at her body. Wanting her. Intimidated by her. She loved it." like this is SO BAD AND EXPLICIT she really does just love that he's young and unsure it's FUCKED
so then we switch to derek pov, and they eat like a light lunch of sandwiches with a long awkward silence, and he does a lot of internal monologuing about how cool it would be if she could come home and meet his family and be her mate
which like...i know how teenagers are but he met her five days ago. tbh real grooming, which is definitely what she's doing, takes longer than that, but i guess we were going for brevity here lol
(in this book derek's dad is the alpha? but in season 3 talia is, so i guess they changed werewolves then to be matriarchial like hunters)
like, she's asking him questions about himself - lucky number, favorite color - she asks him if he believes in fate. he keeps clamming up and she keeps trying to get him to talk so she finally asks about his swimming and he blurts out that there's just so much pressure, even though he can't really tell people about his "double life" and she like IMMEDIATELY responds with "yeah ofc there is hs is so rough like the ppl you have to hang out with some are still like babies and some are all rown up and ready for the real world like you" like...this is classic grooming techniques
and he's like flattered and think she's mega hot but he's also really nervous, and when she leans into his space and asks if he's ready: "He set down his sandwich. His heart was about to burst out of his chest. His body was quivering and trembling. He felt as if he were burning up." and he does say yes so i assume they banged but THANK god the chapter cut to black
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Golden Globes. Awards Time. Back At It.
Tis the season for awards. In 2019 I missed blogging the ENTIRE awards season due to travel. Seriously, I missed the entire season. I cannot even explain how hectic the first three months of last year were. Fucking insanity.
But, bitches, I’m back and I’m ready to blog the shit out of the 2020 awards season.
The Golden Globes are kind of a mess. They’re a little sloppy. They’re a little drunk. They’re a little odd. But who doesn’t love them?
Ricky Gervais was amazing. He does not give a fuck. Not a single fuck. He literally told the stars to not make political statements, thank their agents and get the fuck off the stage. Bless him. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson both looked offended. Adam Driver laughed a bit. Martin Scorsese laughed a touch. Bobby DeNiro politely chuckled. That’s the kind of uncomfortable shit I like to see at an awards show.
The TV awards have been weird. Rami Youssef won for his self-titled show. Stellan Skarsgaard won supporting actor for Chernobyl which I don’t care about. Succession was the best drama. I half care about that because it’s a soapy show about rich people behaving like shit and also features Kieran Culkin and I do love a child star who figures his or her shit out and transcends child stardom into an adult career. Phoebe Waller-Bridge won for actress in a comedy. I truly do not believe Fleabag is a comedy primarily because it’s not funny, in my opinion. Maybe I just don’t get it.
Foreign language film went to Parasite after being presented by the always bland Sienna Miller. I just don’t get why she’s a thing. But Parasite is FUCKING amazing. The director’s speech was FUCKING amazing. We two trillion percent loved this movie.
Pierce Brosnan is aging well. He’s here to introduce his sons who are sharing the Golden Globe ambassador duties in 2020.
Kate McKinnon is making me cry. The Ellen clip reel also made me cry. Jesus Christ. Oh, and also, Carol Burnett looks incredible. I love that woman. I love Ellen. Who doesn’t? It’s insane to me to think that it was 1997 when she came out on TV and then was basically blacklisted for doing so. How stupid is that shit? But she’s really come out on top. So I guess it’s really a big middle finger to a whole lotta dumb asses, no?
Back to TV awards. Brian Cox wins for TV drama actor in Succession. I’m getting more intrigued by this show.
What are Ewan MacGregor’s shoes? I’m not feeling them. But Margot Robbie looks kick ass and so does her dress. Thrilled for Quentin Tarantino winning screenplay because Once Upon a Time….in Hollywood is awesome. It’s definitely one of my favorite Tarantino movies.
What the fuck is Missing Link and how did it win for Animated Feature?
Brad Pitt and Leo are fucking movie stars. That’s it and that’s that.
What in the ever-loving fuck is Gwyneth Paltrow wearing? Is it fur? Is it lace? Why is it copper? Why is the necklace underneath the lace? Ugh. Disaster. But very happy for Laura Dern winning supporting actress. We watched Marriage Story over the holiday break and it’s hard to watch but the performances are stellar. Laura Dern is butter.
Is Nick Jonas wearing a bolo tie? What the fuck is the thing around his neck? Priyanka Chopra is gorgeous. Fleabag wins for comedy series. I stand by previous assertions that this show is not a comedy. Am I way off base? Convince me I’m wrong.
Jason Momoa and Zoe Kravitz presenting together is cute. I don’t why what Patricia Arquette won for. The Act? What the fuck is that? Why is she wearing sunglasses? What are her boobs? She got political as Arquette’s are known to do. Olivia Colman wins for actress in a TV drama. She’s nuttier than a fruitcake. Her dress is nuttier than a fruitcake as well. I love that she just admitted to getting a little boozy. Because that’s the damn point of this show. Everyone should be tipsy. Not wasted because it’s still on TV but definitely buzzed.
Charlize Theron’s dress is weird. Her necklace is slick though. I think she’s an odd choice for introducing Tom Hanks and his Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award. There’s GOT to be better friend to present this. Denzel? Gary Sinise? Sally Field? Whatevs. The clip reel was stellar. People REALLY seem to love him. Oh, they just panned to Beyonce. Her dress looks like it’s eating her. But back to Tom Hanks…..his speech is lovely. He’s super emotional and it’s making me emotional.
Ricky Gervais is really hot on the fact that no female directors were nominated for best director. The audience isn’t having it. Sam Mendes just won for 1917. FOR REAL? Of all the directors nominated, I would have assumed he would be the last one to win. How? He’s basically directed a the World War I version of Saving Private Ryan, right? I dunno if we’re going to see that one. I just don’t care. Primarily because we’ve seen this movie before WITH TOM HANKS.
What is up with boobs tonight? Salma Hayek is busting O-U-T. Tiffany Haddish is crazy. I think she’s hilarious. I cannot wait to watch her Netflix stand up special entitled Black Mitzvah. Even the title is a riot.
Some Icelandic woman just won best score for Joker. I’m sure she knows Bjork. Who is insane.
I’m unclear on what J. Lo is wearing and is A-Rod present? I’ve really come around on J. Lo. She used to really drive me crazy. She doesn’t anymore.
Very happy for Brad Pitt for winning supporting actor.  Like Brad a lot and I think he’s long been an underrated actor. I think he’s going to get his allllll awards season. And that category was stacked with MOVIE STARS. But good for Brad.
Chris Evans is hot. I don’t care who knows it. He’s fucking hot. And so is Scar Jo. She looks incredible.
Wait. How did Taron Egerton just win for actor in a musical or comedy over Leo and Eddie Murphy? OK. Do I need to see Rocketman? I just don’t want to because I super, duper do not care about Elton John. I know it’s kind of gay sacrilege but he’s just not my favorite.
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Awkwafina just won for comedy actress in The Farewell. Have you seen this movie? It’s WONDERFUL. Legit wonderful. It’s funny. It’s touching. It’s just a sweet story. We loved this movie.
For a moment I was concerned Rocketman was going to win for best musical or comedy but, thankfully, Once Upon a Time…..in Hollywood won, as it should. These wacky Hollywood Foreign Press nutjobs like to really throw curveballs.
Glenn Close is looing resplendent in velvet. Joaquin Phoenix takes home best actor for Joker. I had VERY low expectations for that movie and upon exiting the theater I would actually call it a film. It was really good. But Joaquin is really blowing it with his speech. Is he high? Is he drunk? Or is just that weird? This is sooooooooo awkward. It’s stressing me out. Thankfully he responded to the playoff music.
Renee Zellweger is back in Judy and she’s winning awards. She really transforms for this part and it’s a very stressful movie. Why is she sounding so hokey? I guess she’s from Texas but is this normally how she talks? Oh, they’re going to play her off too. Apparently the HFPA and NBC are done with this how. I am as well. It’s been a bit of a snore apart from the monologue, Tiffany Haddish and Amy Poehler.
And 1917 wins best drama. I’m stunned and I literally do not care. I do not care one iota.
With that, awards season is off to the races. Let’s do this!!!!
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theleftoverurl · 6 years
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So last night was Long Island Night, my long-anticipated (not really) cocktail event which was basically just a get-together of some of my med friends. We made cocktails and then mainly just drank a lot of the remaining alcohol and mixers in strange combinations and chilled and chatted. It was nice to see everyone getting along and just like having fun. Most of the party guests decided to crash at my house and so I struggled to find appropriate sleeping places for everyone. Eventually I got Wilson and Stuart on the couches, Kevin on Josh’s blow-up mattress on the floor, Will on the dining room couch and Fenton and Lin took my bed, so I slept on the floor of my room with my bedding and the sofa cushions (Wilson slept on a bare sofa). Everybody used the various cushions around my house and I gave them my bedsheets and empty quilt covers, bunny onesie and blankies to share around and use.
Everybody crashed quick, and Fenton, Lin and I got to have a bit of a gossip in my room with the lights out, like a sleepover. They finally explained how they stopped becoming friends with Alicia and how Quinlan and Angelica broke up and Alicia and Quinlan ended up together, and the whole story sort of made everything that I have seen in that group dynamic make sense. Personally, I was excluded from all that drama because last year dating Hamish kind of made me check out of my med friends, so it was good to feel connected to Fenton and Lin and be in the loop again, even if Quinlan and Alicia’s boring romance is irrelevant to me. It was also nice to hang out with them because I feel they are very normal people, and very nice, we are more natural friends than Kuheli and I for instance, and I think that in terms of people having my back, the people who came to Long Island Night really are my friends in that they will support me if ever I need it in life.
Anyway, the floor was dirty because (shh, don’t tell) it’s yet to be vacuumed ever since like Suzie (the girl who stayed here last) last vacuumed and I’m pretty sure she didn’t, but my room really keeps the heat in and the floor was cold in the morning, so there was that. I also kind of like sleeping in places that is not my bed, a weird side of me finds it sort of exciting so I didn’t really mind, and I couldn’t see an alternative bedding situation anyway. It was the first time all my curtains were closed, and I discovered they don’t keep the light out at all. I was up by 8, because alcohol tends to do that to me, and Will woke up and peeped in, so I went to join him and Kate and Veronica in the dining room.
Kate and Veronica had made pancakes, and so we sat with them while they had breakfast and just chilled and chatted. Lola and Charlie (Veronica’s dogs) are staying over for the week, so they wandered around, like miniature atmosphere boosters. Stuart was the next up, and we all just killed time waiting for everyone to rouse and be ready for brekky. Wilson had left early because he has tutoring in Killara in the morning, and Kevin left soon after for tutoring as well. Fenton was hung over, so Lin was getting him water, so Stuart, Will and I cleaned the living room. The living room wasn’t too trashed, someone had spilled a whole bottle of honey though, so the floor had to be mopped. Lola had left a little widdle on the floor by the dining room, and I don’t know why, but I purposely didn’t clean it up and left it to Veronica to do that because they’re her dogs – I could’ve just mopped it while I was mopping the floor, but I just didn’t – it’s probably just the leftover annoyance about chores from ages ago.
Then we all headed off to brekky (not including my housemates). We went down to Coog, because I thought it would be a beautiful idea to have breakfast by the sea and then head down to the beach. It was a beautiful day, and a beautiful idea, but I did sense a slight uncomfortableness because it was a Sunday morning and Coogee was packed with white people and my med friends were uncomfortable with the beachy vibes and just the white people dominance because the areas they live and places they hang out are generally Asian-dominated. I had forgotten about that, and it reminded me of my conversation with Kevin last night about not really fitting in in the “white” or Asian worlds, so to speak.
Because Coogee was so packed, we stopped at the Courtyard and waited for a table. There was an amazing husky on the chair next to us which was cute. Everyone ordered, and I said I’d shout everyone coffees because I felt bad that the breakfast place was expensive and that I hadn’t had a lot of bedding, so people slept on the floor and stuff. In the end I paid for brekky and said that people could transfer me, but I feel like that won’t be followed up, so I’ve ended up shouting a steep breakfast, but oh well. I added a hazelnut shot to my latte because I was feeling like splurging and had the corn fritters. It was nice to chill and have breakfast, everyone made good conversation and we really got on. Will was a bit quiet, but I accidentally gave him my blue blanky which went to Claudia’s country birthday and picked up a lot of dust for him to sleep in and he was having a pollen allergic reaction (not very bad, but clearly it was making him uncomfortable). I was also reminded of how sheltered he is as a person, because he asked me what a poached egg was, and earlier with Veronica and Kate, he said he’d never licked anything off a butter knife before. Crazy stuff.
Anyway, then we went down to the beach and people/dog-watched for a bit. There was more idle chatter, and there was a man down there being filmed making a chalk artwork promoting recycling your plastic. The actual drawing was a whale with a fish coming out of its spout, so I have no idea how that is relevant, to be perfectly honest. Stuart and I had a little daydream about travelling to Algeria and Spain at the end of the year, but honestly I don’t think it will happen, and I don’t even know if I trust him enough to travel with him, even though from all his adventures in Chile and China I know he’s the sort of person who is able to look after himself travelling. Then Will and Stuart headed home, and Fenton and Lin came back to the house to get their stuff and have a glass of water before also heading. I made them promise we’d catch up again by the end of the next course, because I think that seeing them more often would be good for me, and honestly last night really reminded me how grateful I am that I found them as friends.
Afterwards, I did my usual and had a quick debrief with Kate and then started on some lectures, trying to catch up. I caught up all of Week 1 Oncology, which I think was only one or two lectures anyway, and then caught up some of the last week of Adult Health 1, which I didn’t do because I was doing my assignment. I think it was good to revise themes from Adult Health 1 anyway, because it was a bit of a refresher, I’m forgetting the stuff we did already! After a bit my concentration started to wander, and then Raj messaged me (I don’t want to seem cocky or anything, but I really feel as if he keeps trying to catch up with me) to say he just so happened to have done the Bondi to Coogee walk and was in my area. I really didn’t even want to see him again, but last night Kevin (who met him) was trashing him to Will saying he was cocky and challenging me on why I like him, and Will was loving it and I felt uncomfortable and it made me wonder if I misjudged who Raj is. So, against my better judgment I decided I would meet him at the beach to hang for a little bit to sort of see if he was arrogant and because I felt bad for blowing him off. Also, I stressed how busy I was catching up on lectures (even though that was a bit of a lie, because I don’t really need them done) so I had to get back home, and because it was a daytime thing I didn’t see how he could try stay over or put any moves on or anything.
We had quite a nice walk, though I felt like there was some awkwardness, just because I didn’t really know what his purpose was with wanting to hang out because I had made it clear there was no hooking up on the cards. Anyway, we walked up to the rocks and looked at the baths, and from there down towards Maroubra. It was good to know he’s not arrogant, he just likes showing off a bit, but I feel lots of boys are like that, and we managed to keep good rapport/conversation, it was just a bit more guarded than before. I wonder if he felt that from his side. On the way to Maroubra we saw Kate and Veronica walking Lola. It was a bit stressful running into them with Raj because I didn’t want to give them the wrong impression, but it was all good really, and I reiterated I’d be home soon. We walked on a bit, and talked a bit about OSCEs and med, and he had some interesting stories. I realised that it’s not cockiness, but in terms of how we think we just are not quite on the same wavelength career-wise – Raj said if he didn’t do med he’d do law because it’s so lucrative despite it being shit and I could just tell while listening to him talk about his future that for him it’s more about financial stuff than like passion or clinical stuff, which is more what I’m about (too young and idealistic, I guess). Anyway, he walked with me all the way back to my house and then hovered around, but I don’t know why he’d expect to be let in, because I had explicitly repeatedly said that I had lectures to get back to, but he kept mentioning he had no plans – poor boy. We had an awkward goodbye hug and then he headed off home – all the way to Canterbury. I doubt I’ll see him again, because I’m headed off to Canberra next weekend (I have booked the Greyhound already, I’m so excited to see Bec and Sweta and Lauren and Nirish) and then he’s back off to the UK. Honestly, I’m kind of relieved but I do hope he wants to stay in contact as like a med contact friend. I get the sense we won’t keep in contact though, but I’m not that cut up about it.
Anyway, then Kate and I had a chat about Raj and Will and Kevin and just a general debrief in the kitchen while she defrosted chicken for curry (my fourth curry this week – Kuheli cooked it for curry night, Veronica cooked it the next day, I had curry last night with Stuart and Kuheli and now Kate’s cooking it again) – tikka masala and butter chicken. Lola kept crying which was really irritating, until we realised that it was Veronica and Nicky G standing outside, because Veronica left her phone and key at home and Kate didn’t pick up Nicky G’s call. Nicky G brought cupcakes and came to say hello. He was very friendly as usual, but just came to see Kate – we all lingered around and then the smoke alarm went off, so I went to take it outside and when I came back he was intently talking to Kate just about general things, so I excused myself to the living room. I did hear him invite Kate to dinner on Thursday which made me feel a bit left out, but in the end, he really isn’t my friend and I do feel that he’s not interested in pursuing a closer friendship with me, so I don’t know why being left out bothered me. I think in general I am just upset that I haven’t retained any college friends really, apart from Kate and Veronica. It kind of worries me, makes me think that I must be a weirdo because my friends are all a bit socially awkward and “normal” people like the Baxter kids just don’t want to be my friend. But it’s a stupid little insecurity and honestly, I must get over it. It’s just that I wasn’t in anyone’s face and I wasn’t part of Floor 7 last year.
Kate’s chicken curries were yummy and there was brown rice and broccolini. We have been having yet more chore dramas, because Josh didn’t vacuum last week and so he was supposed to do it this week instead of me, but he lied and said he did it before Long Island Night (when he only did the kitchen) and he had to do the kitchen as well this week because that was his actual chore this week, but he hasn’t done that either, and so I don’t know what’s happening chore-wise, and honestly he has to step up his game. There’s a pile of shit in the corridor to be vacuumed, and I have just no idea who’s going to do it, because technically it’s Veronica’s turn, but Josh didn’t do it, so he should do it, but I also didn’t do it just by being after him and him not doing it. I honestly don’t mind just doing it, same with the dishes that Josh said he’d do after he finished Brooklyn Nine-Nine and then didn’t do, but it’s that principle thing, and the fact that we can’t pick up after each other all the time, we need to set a good routine, so these issues don’t build up. Anyway, Kate and I had our usual complain about it, and then she messaged the group to remind Josh to do the dishes, so he did, and we took out the bin and I washed it. I have no idea how to get him to do/sort out the vacuuming/kitchen issue though, ugh.
Prior to this we watched Bachelor in Paradise live, it’s coming towards the end of the season and there was no Rose Ceremony this episode (there wasn’t going to be one anyway) and all the people who had drama were people didn’t like anyway, so there’s not a lot to be said about it.
We watched a bit of Border Security on the TV and a guy getting a nail pulled out of his finger, because he’d nailed it into his own finger by accident, and then we relocated to Kate’s room to try out the 7Plus website (because Kate’s exhausted all the potential watchable material on both MTV and TenPlay). 7Plus has a lot of shows, but most of them are poor, poor quality. On the flipside, the ads load and are very quick, being pretty much only for Channel 7 anyway. We watched an episode of the UK First Dates and it was funny, I can’t believe some of the characters that were there, they were so incredibly rude. None of the couples ended up together which is sort of a shame. Then it was bedtime, after a long day.
In other news, I am getting fat from eating too much, having too many snacks and drinking alcohol. My face in the mirror today was so round and bloated I felt a bit disgusted at myself, but I’ll get over it, I just must stop snacking so much. It will be easier this week, because this week is less busy at hospital, so I won’t have to stock up on so much food, and I just must be conscious. Anyway, it’s bedtime, I got hardly any sleep last night and I must be at uni by 9 tomorrow, so I don’t know how waking up and all of that is going to go but it’s a fairly easy day, just 2 CMTs.
This was a long recap, but till next time 😊.
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isaiahsky · 7 years
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Here's a true story of how two bestfriends, a boy from the East Coast, and a girl from the West Coast, ultimately ended their relationship, because one fell in love with the other. Enjoy. Her name is Lindsey. We met eachother years ago in Shreveport Louisiana. Every day we grew increasingly close to eachother, became bestfriends, and evetually shit got real and we started fooling around, assuming the title "Bestfriends (with benefits)". Details of how we moved to diferent sides of the map are irrelevant, thats a totally diferent story I can provide upon request. Lindsey and I remained very close ever since we separated, even on occasion flying to the other person's city for a visit. We'd book a hotel, toss up the DO NOT DISTURB sign, have incredible dirty sex all over the room, be as loud as we wanted, and let the unfortunate housekeeper worry about the mess when we went out drinking and shopping. We had always crushed on eachother, never at the same time, which is why we never dated. So instead of being frustrated about that predicament, we just fucked we got over it. Around April of 2017, to prevent things from becoming complicated, we came to a mutual agreement to just be friends, no more emotions, no more sex, just friends. It was hard at first, but after several sessions of masturbation a week, i managed to somewhat tame the sexual urges, and disarm the nuclear warhead of sexual frustration in my pants, AKA my penis. Long story short I dealt with the drought, but i digress. In August of 2017, Lindsey made plans to fly to Tampa to see her grandparents for 2 weeks. I lived in Destin at the time so it was 7 or 8 hours away from where I stayed. She asked me to take a few days off to go see her, and ofcourse I did. We were both in a budget, so we made agreed to be simple and made arrangements to just hang out in my hotel room, watch movies, have some drinks, snacks, and catch up, etc. So as planned, towards the end of her trip, I went down there and spent three days with her. Day one, I pick her up from her grandparents' house in the suburbs, take her to my place 10 minutes away, and show her my room. 5 minutes into the evening she decides to start groping me, leading me on, giving me signs that she wants me to fuck her like a rabbit on Methamphetamines. This presents a problem for me. We had a conversation prior to this little vacation about just being platonic, which she is obviously disregarding. What she failed to understand at that moment was, I had made every effort to move on, and get over any feelings I had for her. And I did so successfully. So when presented with hot familiar pussy that Id been craving months before, I was absolutely uninterested for that reason, but also for one more unobvious reason. Small, probably predictable plot twist, I met a girl in mid July named Kelly. Let me be clear, I tell Lindsey almost everything about my life. Everyone has their secrets, but ive always been honest with her. So prior to my trip to Tampa just to keep her informed, I told her about Kelly one day. "Hey, I met this girl, blah blah blah, I dont think it will go anywhere really but, I really like her." She was jealous initially ofcourse, it was to be expected, but we talked it all out and she handled it well and everything was great. Lets get back to the situation in Tampa to see her. Shes groping me and flriting, even straddles me, fishing for me to kiss her and initiate some sticky foreplay. Its slightly awkward for me, because im not very experienced in the rejection department when it comes to getting my dick wet. Im not the prettiest guy in the world, so when a cute girl throws herself at you, you better pull out the fucking catchers gear. I didnt know how to go by letting her down without hurting her feelings, so i just kind of avoided the subject of sex. So when she tried something i just kind of brushed it off and giggled, or joked about about something random. For the most part she caught on with the message, and it was fine at first. But from her behavior, and the more and more she tried to make advances, the more aparent it became that she was actually still interested in me for more than just sex. It doesnt make sense now, but day two I confirmed my theory when she started getting emotional. She randomly started crying and asking me why i wont touch her, or be sweet with her like I used to be. I explained that nothing was wrong with her, its just not what i wanted anymore. After trying to talk her down the entire day, my answers weren't good enough. She was convinced she was doing something wrong, she became really frustrated with herself, and at this moment i am completely unaware to how to help. Eventually I started getting annoyed. She began doing shit that kind of freaked me out. For brief example; we would be relaxing watching a movie, im trying to ignore the bad vibes and help her have some fun. Something funny in the movie would happen, id laugh, look at her to see if SHES laughing, and shed be staring at me with tears on her face trying not to cry. Multiple occassions this occurred. And its fucking awkward. Maybe I was being insensitive, I get it, shes sad, but we both spent money to be there together and i wanted to make the best of it. Fast forward to the 3rd and final day together. We day drink from the morning until maybe 7pm. The advances and emotions persist. The entire afternoon she was severely bipolar, which i expected this but its okay i just want to relax and be drunk. She cried and cried, and then the next few minutes shed be really happy again and dancing, whatever. The entire time I know whats really bothering me, but im too afraid to tell Lindsey how I feel right now. So i hold my tongue and pretend to be okay. I know she remembers i like Kelly, because she kept referencing her. Asking how she was doing, or shed crack jokes about her when i spoke of her. Classic jealousy, completely obvious. Fast forward to around 7 or 8pm of the evening together. We finish day drinking, somewhat sober up, and track down a Texas Roadhouse. We get to our table, order a drink or two, and have a casual conversation while reflecting on the past couple of days. We have an honest conversation about our feelings: "What are we?" "Can we ever truly just be friends?" "Let me tell you what I think." And overall just communicating as friends about the future, and how we can fix this shit hole situation. Finally we actually had a good time together, and it was mutual. It sank in that i was just not interested in her like I used to be, and that we would truly never be together. She still let out a few tears, but like a man i comforted, and we overall enjoyed our last meal together in the same state. Fast forward to the parking lot after dinner, where shit hits the fan. Its relatively empty. I go to the passenger side of my car, open the door for her so she can get in, but we are still engaged in our heart to heart conversation so we end up loitering for awhile. I light up a cigarette, lean back against the car, and she wraps her arms around my torso and just kind of rests there, head on my chest. Ive got one arm around her and one arm free smoking my cigarette. Boom, imagery. We stay like this for a long time as i chain smoke a few cigs, just talking, and finally the conversation somehow shifts to me denying her any sex/affection/intimacy, whatever. This time its okay because she is calm, shes being understanding with every potential controversal thing i have told her over dinner. I believe she can handle this converstaion. She asked me for total honesty, she could tell there was something i didnt want to say to her and it was important she knew what was diferent. She knows i like Kate, but im still a single man, so why am i being so distant with her physically, than i have been in the past. THIS IS WHERE I REALIZE THAT BLUNT HONESTY IS NOT OKAY WHEN ADDRESSING A JEALOUS GIRL WHO IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. I wasn't mean at all, i very calmly and respectively told her exactly what the reason was. I sighed deeply and said "I cant do anything with you, and ive been distant, because all i can think about is Kelly." This may be an outdated reference, but in maybe 1 second, she went from my sweet, calm, understanding bestfriend, to full blown going Jersey Shore on me. She started screaming at me, telling me that she cant believe this, etc etc. Telling me how every time she tried to move on and be with other people, she always felt guilty and cried because even though we werent together, she felt she was cheating on me. And here i am doing the same thing, but im thinking of Kelly, not her. So she put everything i ever did for her in question. Was it truly sincere? Did i ever really care about her? The whole fucking works. During all of this she is sitting on the concrete indian style just ranting relentlessly, and she procedes to get comfortable. I KNOW she plans to dig in for a decent duration because everything that was in her pockets, one by one she starts slamming it on the concrete around her, all in all making a statement to the world that says "fuck everyone and everything." Im a stubborn bastard, so from the time she started flipping out on me, to the time we finally get in the car and leave, like a man, i was still propped up against my car smoking, letting her lay into me with her insults, and ridiculous questions. All i did was stare straight ahead fed up. And I ignored her. She was pissed at me for the obvious reasons, i was pissed at her for freaking out, when all i wanted was to be honest with her. We are adults, let alone we werent even dating, id barely expect this reaction from a distraught girlfriend. But i get it, im the guy, i played with her emotions, now im getting burnt. We finally get in the car, maybe 11p, not once did i say a word to her throughout the whole car ride. At this point im ready to drop her ass back to her grandparents' house so i can check out half a day early from my hotel and drive back to west florida THAT NIGHT. Thats how pissed i am. Im still tipsy, exhausted, but the only thing i want to do is take an 8 hour trip back to my personal bed and sleep all day. But i cant take her to her grandparents' place, she still has some personal belonging in my room. We get back to the room, she climbs in my bed and pouts until she falls asleep. IN MY BED. So what do i do? Ofcourse I refuse to get in bed with her. So after 5 hours of debating on packing up all of her shit for her, waking her up, and taking her home, just like my entire highschool career, i sat at the desk, laid my head down on the table and went to sleep. Woke up that morning at 11, checked out at noon, took her home, still not one word was said to eachother by the way. The first and final words she said to me was "okay drive safe" no goodbye hug, no apologies from either sides, no attempt to fix the situation. She walked past me, i got in my car, backed out of her grandfathers driveway, we looked at eachother one last time, and i drove away. To this day, we still don't speak, the end of a relationship with a girl ive know for a fifth of my life. Love will make you do dumb shit for reasons you cant comprehend. But be careful when you go to tell people how you feel about them. It can really play with their heads and you can lose someone dear to you in the future because you dont know how to keep your mouth shut. Lindsey if you see this, im so sorry.
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