#she really was metaphor for them

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

watched and Karl and Sharah truly the best the way they only did everything for other while the 2 others did it all for selfish reasons idk if that was one of the point’s especially the 2053 lady that was clear sign of yt people always choosing the bad guy always supporting the oppressors the genocidal maniac it was so on point really and the fact she did all for legs plz, and the fact after she k1lled Defoe she out on the crocodile yt people tears they always do when they regret something minutes after they do it watching her cry after she k1lled deofe even tho Elias literally said yes to murdering almost half million she still was on his side of that’s not yt to a T taking the wrong sides of history then regretting it definitely gave me nasty Oppenheimer vibes the way she acted never listening to the good people so many people was telling him

not to do it then started crying and having quilt only bc his mistresses di*ed and all of sudden he had regrets like from the moment I saw iris I disliked her so mad idk she just gave off nasty vibes and I was so right I love being always right and reading people characters to T!

dont get me started on Alfred I love him bc he was good for his time but the fact he gave up his family and sacrificed himself for a man he just met was so nasty but I get not wanting to frame an innocent man thats ew but he was really willing to give up his family

It’s giving Viktor from umbrella academy I will never understand characters giving up their families for somebody they just met 2 weeks ago idk if it’s a yt queer character or yt people thing it but it’s just so nasty to me like how that’s y’all family so so eww #bodiesnetflix

what a great show tho it was so good every character except iris were so amazing love them! can’t believe she still is alive but hopefully I doubt it but hope taxi driver Iris is better person then 2053 iris was she was so eww made me so sick to my stomach #

miss female Oppenheimer they way both didn’t care until someone showed the truth in their face and still they didn’t give a fcvk untill someone they cared about D worded! I now get why she was picked and why she was yt makes so much sense in reality it’s always yt people doing

that sort of thing joining the evil side, Iike you would never see Charles Sahara joining Elias they can’t be bought we literally saw Whitman saying no to all that safety in the time he was living oh what a beautiful man what beautiful soul heart he has and sharah obvi she’s 2023

she would never as the character she is, they way they picked perfect characters time lines for each other, storyline character development so complex and interesting! then there’s iris doing for the most selfish rzn! her character was so good to hate more

then Elias even because how did she believe in that bs when her own brother couldn’t get the treatment only bc he didn’t wanna join them I thought it was eveyone felling loved no matter what even if they didn’t wanna be forced to part of their bs utopia!

KARL AND SHARAH YOU SO LOVED BY ME! also not Karl flirting and asking Sahara for pint trough time once a ladies man always a ladies man god I love him! Alfred I’ll ignore ur one mistake so you are also loved not as much them but still and nothing for Iris!

I wish Karl Sahara would’ve met the way I have played back when Elias tells him her name and he’s like what Sah what so cute they were the best characters I love them so much wish they met the asking for pint so him even in his last breathes I LOVE HIM a lot actually!!

I did notice how only Karl Sahara weren’t DI even tho they were given the same cases another important point on society oh what a great show! Love it so much

#iris been so on brand for todays world even tho hee character was supposed to be from the future #believing in wrong side even when the facts proof are literally shown you #So where on brand with what’s happening now in the real world wigh all these western people supporting yk and western gov #she really was metaphor for them #bodies #bodies netflix #Netflix bodies #Bodies on Netflix #Karl Wissman #Charles Whiteman #Sahara Hassan #Alfred hilinghead #iris maplewood #iris mapelwood

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sharing is Caring!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #While listening to the Lotus Seed extra I was like 'aw this art is so cute.' #Post The Fanfic Fiasco (re: last comic's tags) I am haunted by the green orbs. WWX has a bag of edible green orbs and I am in hell. #First draft of this comic's script has JC saying 'dude you wouldn't even share with me!' and I love his little sibling indignation. #Middle child power is knowing that you don't have to share with your siblings. The little wet eyes and weak hand slaps do NOTHING. #JC probably already ate all of his lotus seeds. That's on you dude! #Part of me wants to get deeper with the metaphor of the lotus seeds here. It is a gesture of a certain kind of affection. #JYL gives something to WWX she does not quite share with JC. And WWX in turn gives something to LWJ he does not share with JC. #Really puts JC's line 'You're always eating...eating eating' into a very different light. #There are other kinds of starving besides hunger. There are other ways to be a glutton than just food and drink. #WWX's character pre-burial mounds is heavily focused on 'Indulgence'. Be it wine or flirting or hunting or eating- #-or receiving admiration; He is always indulging in ways we never see JC do. #I think the intentional contrast was with the Lan's 'Live simple and without indulgence' lifestyle. LWJ is the abstainer to wwx's gluttony. #But it does expand to JC as well! Both are locked into the role model position to have friction against WWX's apparent freedom. #I think LWJ and JC (at this point) see WWX as something they both want (in different capacities) and someone they want to be. #Yet despite the history between them it is not JC who WWX reaches out to. It's LWJ. #The boy already has an inferiority complex! Stop making it accidently worse!

[bottombaron]

Something about Nadja mentioning trying to lose her virginity multiple times on a beach in Antipaxos in episode 2

Something about Nadja's ghost wanting to lose her virginity too this season (meaning Nadja never had sex before she was a vampire), as seen from the trailers

Something about her relationship with her Sire, The Baron, knowing they had/have a sexual relationship and that he was most likely the one she lost her virginity to

Something about how Guillermo's turning is framed as a metaphor for his first time having sex

Something about her and Guillermo having time to possibly talk about all this in episode 5

#guillermo de la cruz #nadja of antipaxos #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo and nadja's relationship is one of the most underrated and most important to me #i really really want them to connect on this and everything that guillermo expected from his turning and the virginity metaphor #and how nadja probably only felt comfortable truly acting on her sexuality when she was a vampire #i think her and guillermo actually have a lot in common especially when she was human #she actually has so much insecurity that she acts out as this ambition for power and status to hide how fragile she actually feels #i love her so much and if nandor and laszlo are getting serious emotional moments with guillermo i want her to too

[copepods]

less gentle nurturing protective goddess c!kristin more amoral fickle petty divine being c!kristin who cares little for the affairs of mortals aside from her chosen favorites. more c!kristin who destroys lives with a flick of the wrist without sparing a thought, not out of malice but pure carelessness, as gods are wont to do

#when characters are immortal i think that fucks them up so so much esp when theyre also very powerful #kristin and phils relationship is very emotionally intense partially because kristin literally has No One Else to connect to. #so shes very attached to him and to his family by extension but really doesnt give a damn about anyone else #it makes her a very efficient death god to be fair. #she IS protective of her people (the dead) but only out of the expectation that theyre Her property and no one elses #so when xd starts messing with the realm of the dead she gets pissy. but not out of actual care for the people affected you know #i just idk. really like stories where the affairs of gods are on such a totally different plane to the affairs of mortals #and that gods might not be Trying to kill people but they still do #the same way most people step on ants without meaning to #also yes it's a class metaphor. lol #text #mcyt

[sysig]

Now that they can, would they want to spend a lot of time together? (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Marceline #Hhhh I feel so bad for both of them 💔 #Obviously Simon misses her since she's like the one tether he still has to ''his'' time - they were both born before all the Everything #And I'm sure Marceline misses Simon too but like - even this Simon isn't ''her'' Simon. They met when he was already affected by the Crown #They clearly love each other when they see each other when Simon is as much himself as he can be! #But I can't help but wonder if it would be painful to spend time with this sad lonely magicless man - and how guilty that would make Simon #He wants to still be a part of her life! But how much of himself does he even have to offer now? #And the guilt would go round and round - she sees it in him and he sees that in her and they just both feel bad! #I really can't blame him for being a little emotionally closed and her being distant - they're not who they were #With all that said I still really love their dynamic <3 They're /not/ who they used to be but they've still got such an interesting relation #I think in the moments that they do have together where they're both trying to be good for each other Marcy would really push her humour ♪ #She's got 1000 years of silliness to get out of her system to her bestie! I'm sure she's got the material hehe #Even if he still sees her as a little girl - I mean that just adds to the joke if she says something a bit blue lol #I don't think he'd actually keep the sharp teeth - it's more of a visual metaphor of how Marceline sees him in these kinds of moments #It's hard to leave it behind!

[tenspontaneite]

Drew Learner when she was younger and her pups were small 🙏

#rain world #rain world slugcat #slugcat oc #her pups are grown up and living with a colony as of Assembly timeline #Learner was a very cautious mother and was glad when they went off on her own #constantly keeping them safe gave her metaphorical hives #she definitely does not plan to have slups again #her slups inherited her points and some of her pattern genes just in different colours #they're very young here so only really have pigment on their faces and tail tips #my art #assembly

[sygneth]

*details below*

this was supposed to be a phone wallpaper but things got way out of control (uhhh i just noticed how bad the quality got so i did split it eventually)

i still did the wallpaper (9:18) crops tho, feel free to use them!!

#i regret nothing #and yes the answer is i really really like to draw falling people #and metaphors #metaphorically falling people particularily #judit is out there too #she just went to give back the hammer she helped kim with #probably borrowed it from trant bc he cares about those dumbasses too #at first i only wanted to draw jean and harry for lock screen and main screen but this was too depressive so i added kim into this #he saves the day #the sad thing if you can't have all three of them at once #(at least i don't see a way) #but the good thing is you can have any two of them and it still makes sense i guess? #you could even make it kimjean if that's what you ship lol #wow how universal #my art #wallpaper #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #harry dubois #harry du bois #harrier du bois #jean heron vicquemare #jean vicquemare #kim kitsuragi

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”

DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.

EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.

YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”

DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.

“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”

And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…

PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.

VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…

“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”

“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”

“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”

“How could you say that…?”

DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.

“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”

SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?

“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”

“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”

“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”

“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”

DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.

“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”

RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.

VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?

I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…

I can. It’s enough.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I can at least try for a little longer…

VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #dolores dei #suicide tw #ummmmm haha *twirls hair* #sorry this isn’t more of the dolores saga im really trying to get back into the swing of things 😭 #this is smth that won’t make it into the saga but that i was thinking about nonetheless #im not too fond of the whole ‘’dora is literally dolores dei’’ thing tbh #i feel that the mundanity is what makes their story impactful #and also just. makes it feel like somebody is kinda going overboard on projecting onto their proxy ex. lmao 😭 #idk like the metaphor gets a little TOO metaphorical for me. but that’s just my onion. im an rgu fan so who am i to judge #anyway this is more my take on the harry/dora story #which is that dora was Just Some Guy and ultimately we have to live w the fact that we’ll never get the full story #because she literally exited the narrative #we can speculate about what her and harry’s relationship was like and how much of the blame is on each of them #dora’s lack of class consciousness vs harry’s violent misogyny etc etc #and like. it’s not that there’s no value in examining those things bc there definitely is value in it #in examining what patterns you DO see repeating in your life and in the world around you #that is what politics is really… examining the system and all its moving parts #but ultimately the past is immutable… our perception of it changes as we gain new context and understanding but what’s past is past #and there is no way of knowing with any certainty what the future holds #that’s where the overlap of all of these political and personal conflicts is for me #and why it comes back to harry questioning whether it’s worth it to even live #it’s about whether or not you can live with the grief of the past and the uncertainty of the future #i want to learn to live with it… to work toward building a future that i want to live in #anyway. coughs

[gideonisms]

Okay I do think that laios's weird frenemy deals with toshiro and kabru are a lot more interesting than the party's relationships with each other so far. I love it when characters have genuine beef with each other and I think for only being in a few episodes, toshiro and kabru both get as much development as any of the main characters, probably more than chilchuck and senshi

#i really want falin to have more development because i think her whole deal is so interesting and i am Not immune to hot monster girl #how does she feel about the others and the way they see her as sweet and innocent #up until she literally turns into a monster loses control of her own body and starts attacking them #it's very nona vs alecto isn't it. which is its own kind of autism metaphor #but like i'm not convinced we'll get into any of that #dungeon meshi spoilers

[ride-a-dromedary]

Feeling some kind of way about this exchange between Rath and Kagha post if you expose Kagha working under the Shadow Druids and convince her out of it.

Kagha: I see it on your face. You hate me. And I don't blame you.

Rath: I do not hate you. I am ashamed at how far I let your machinations spread.

Rath: I was blind not to see it. Too trusting. A fool.

Kagha: Not a fool. A friend. Would that I'd realised it...

#BG3 Musing #Rath #Kagha #it really is interesting that how Rath and Halsin talk to her changes (sans the Halsin chewing her out scene) if she's redeemed #and the way *she* talks is different #it's *significantly* softer even as they indicate that mercy is not for them to bestow - that is for silvanus to decide #and she's very remorseful - she even suggests that first herself #her remorse does not change what she's done but how she speaks of the refugees post the reveal is **far** kinder #and more in line with someone you can see would have perhaps been halsin's second - rath's friend #which makes people's complaints of 'well how did they not see it' to be moot - because she *wasn't like that always* #*that's* how they didn't see it at first #you are not immune to propaganda and all that #again not to sound like a broken record but this narrative with the shadow druids really is a good metaphorical example #of how...easy it can be to pluck at threads strategically and work at pre-existing weaknesses and flaws and emotions #to get people to fall in line with radicalized thinking and dangerous pitfalls #anyway there's probably more intelligent things to say about this but rath and kagha were friends and that's all you need to know #also rath blaming himself for the failures of others...seems familiar wonder who he trained under? (halsin)

[soulless-bex]

i read a lot of pjo x hp crossovers where the demigods we’re familiar with, typically the seven and co, go to hogwarts that i’ve been blinded to other possibilities

like, let’s say, demigod hermione granger (child of athena, duh) who religiously goes to camp every summer since she found out she was a demigod. let’s also say she misses a whole year at hogwarts to help with the two wars. and then she come back after a year of being missing for all intents and purposes, with the trauma of a war veteran and pissed off beyond comprehension that there’s a third war she needs to go through

#i really like the idea of hermione coming out of nowhere #metaphorically tearing the reins out of dumbledore’s hands #and taking control of the war efforts #it also allows for a shit ton of angst with the golden trio because she would have changed so much and she might not want to tell them shit #to like protect them or something #i’ve been thinking about it A LOT #demigod hermione granger au #hermione granger #child of athena #pjo crossover #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson crossover #hp crossover #harry potter #harry potter crossover #hp x pjo #harry potter x percy jackson

[ryutarotakedown]

”lol why did kazuma make ryuunosuke sleep in the wardrobe if the doors lock anyway” look i agree this is objectively hilarious but also. isn’t it tragic that kazuma felt the need to hide ryuunosuke so strongly that he didn’t even tell susato, who ryuu refers to as kazuma’s close friend? isn’t it awful that he was so abjectly terrified that they would be found out and ryuunosuke would be hurt, and so he decided to put the brunt of the secret on himself so that ryuunosuke and susato wouldn’t be considered complicit? isn’t it horrifically fitting that keeping ryuunosuke like a secret led directly to his death because he had to turn to open that wardrobe door, and that ryuunosuke was accused of his murder anyway, that the exact thing that kazuma thought would keep him safe ended up implicating him for homicide?

what i’m trying to say is. wow i’m SO shocked that kazuma asougi would quite literally rather die than be emotionally open to anyone in fear of dragging them down with him, and that this trait of his ends up hurting the exact same people that he was trying to protect! who could have predicted this

#kazuma asougi #look i almost never have thoughts about him these days so whenever i do i must transcribe them like a medieval monk #jules.txt #g: ace attorney #i should figure out nikolina’s role in this metaphor as well. #is she a barok parallel… not really. but do you see what i mean

[hamofjustice]

y'know, sometimes I focus a lot on the implications of Juliana/Florian maybe possibly being Nemona's official Greatest Treasure for the semester but not fully confirmed as such, or the undertones of her wanting them to promise to be "rivals for life," when I rant er I mean discuss how it'd be really messed up if she got left behind when they transferred to Blueberry Academy in The Indigo Disc

but I can't believe "I've relished every day since you moved here" is an actual unedited line she says. I just assumed I had embellished that one in my head. nope. there's no way to misread that, no embellishment needed, she just says it! and then gets kind of embarrassed about it and she says she's gonna blush when they say either variation of "you too"

not to be like "there is no platonic explanation for this," because there totally is, but if she's going to be shipped with anyone I think it's really hard to justify it being with anyone else as long as the player character is in the picture

#pokemon sv #pokemon #nemonaposting #nemona #julinemo #especially when let's be real she spent half of her time with the other teen characters arguing and being rejected insulted and ignored #to really hammer home the idea that florian/juliana are special to her for fully accepting her as she is not just for being strong #being a rival and true equal to her that she doesn't need to hold back against is just a metaphor for letting her unmask around them #yeah the rough start does make her eventually becoming friends with Arven and Penny despite still bickering fun and interesting #and it'd be cool if the friend she had such a strong bond with was an actual character with a story who made more of their own decisions #but one of the decisions they do make on their own that you can't go against is that they like her from start to finish so yeah #this game's writing is not groundbreaking but it does reward paying attention while being main series pokemon and i'm proud of em for that #and inspired by how much better it still could be #can i just go into hibernation until the DLC is finished #also for those unfamiliar this is pokemon writing so holding hands is like being married

[clotpolesonly]

the Lynch brothers on parallel journeys

Call Down The Hawk ch 19 // Call Down The Hawk ch 24

#declanedit #ronanedit #trcedit #tdtedit #Declan Lynch #Ronan Lynch #TRC #TDT #quote posts #they're both chasing something #both seeking #searching for that thing that will give them a sense of purpose and belonging #for Ronan its mastery of dreaming and a community of people like him #Bryde and what he represents #for Declan it's the sense of belonging that he's never really gotten from his family #Mor and what she represents #also note that these are both direct thoughts (routed through a dream on Ronan's part lol) which means the metaphor comes from them #they were raised on alice in wonderland and you can tell XD

[pastafossa]

i’m so sleepy because GOOD DAY but also LONG DAY during which I got sunburned from 20 minutes of direct sunlight, RIP.

But the biggest one, I went to a TAROT CLASS at a shop 5 mins from my house and I went to the little table and there was one chair left, they said I could sit there, so I pull it out and BOOM THERE IS A CAT, A CAT WAS IN THE CHAIR, IT WAS WONDERFUL, SHE WAS BLACK AND SOFT AND LIKES TO LAY ON YOUR LAP WHEN YOU SIT DOWN, NEW FAVORITE PLACE.

Other fun things from the class:

Delved into court cards which is great cause swords and pentacles are my nemesis, but now I can handle them better, and can use them for creating characters!

Told everyone about the small town I moved from and how they were Not Friendly (TM) to this sort of thing, they asked where, I said the town name, and all three of them let out a huge NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. One lady went, ‘I’ve heard about -Old Town-. They’re SO mean.’ And, you know... they’re right.

Did I mention the cat

Group mockery of people in Old Town who said it was too cold for me to live in this place and I’d be miserable.

Group commiseration over There Is No Planning The Weather, The Lake Decides 20 Minutes Before The Weather.

One of them did a tarot reading for me when we were done (AWESOME, and very encouraging about TRT) and then let me do a tarot reading for them which I’d never done for a stranger before (NERVE-WRACKING). But I think I did ok. I’m a storyteller, I roll with it.

They said i could visit whenever and drink tea and read books in their comfy corner and also visit the cat

Pepperoni is welcome, my pet snake can literally visit, he hates leaving the house so he won’t  but I appreciate it anyway

They were HAPPY I was there. Like I legitimately felt welcomed and not like a dumbass or an outsider and it was GREAT.

I mentioned I lived five minutes away, on *street name*. And I said, ‘if you’re ever on that street, I’m the one with the dragons’ and the shop lady just gasped and went ‘YOU’RE THE DRAGON HOUSE???’ So I’m glad to know this is my reputation in the neighborhood. 

The cat liked me and brought a ball to me, I have been blessed

#it was a good day #we really did dive pretty good into the court cards in tarot but she made it feel understandable #and there were some good story metaphors that helped me get them and make sense of them #mostly as character archetypes which is helpful #also just like... a cool shop??? #with lots of cool stuff and a good vibe #and this little corner with couches and chairs and books and tea so you could just hang #AND THE CAT OBVIOUSLY #but they were just so nice and i didn't feel like i was unwelcome #i had so much fun this was wonderful

[scionshtola]

reaching in the dark

summary: After Corisande wakes from a nightmare, they must confront a lingering worry with Y'shtola before they can fall back sleep. pairing: Corisande Ymir/Y'shtola Rhul word count: 2248 | rated: G | read on ao3 notes: set directly after the end of 6.0 with very big plot spoilers. [divider credit]

A gentle snow falls over Foundation. It piles on the windowsills of Corisande’s apartment, shifting white hills against the gray stretch of sky. A fire crackles in the hearth, keeping the cold at bay as they lie intertwined with Y’shtola on their plush red sofa. Y’shtola’s head is tucked under their chin while they each read their own books in quiet contentment, broken only by her occasional contemplative hum that echoes in their chest—and the high-pitched whistle of the kettle on the stove.

Y’shtola shifts, closing her book and making to stand, but Corisande pulls her closer, smiling into her hair when she laughs. “It will only take a moment,” she says, and kisses their jaw before rising to her feet. 

Coridande catches her hand and pulls her back. “Pray, hurry back,” she says, and presses a soft kiss to Y'shtola's knuckles, content with the smile she gets in return. "’Tis far too cold without you.”

Y’shtola glances at her over her shoulder, a smirk building at the corner of her lips. She opens her mouth to speak, but her words are drowned out by a gale of wind that sweeps through the apartment.

Darkness roils in the air around her. Corisande leaps to their feet and their hair comes loose from its braid in the swirling wind, strands whipping across their face. Y’shtola stretches her arm toward them, reaching, and they lunge forward, their heart seizing as they grasp her fingers. 

Not again, they think desperately, clutching tightly at Y’shtola’s hand as the wind picks up, a veritable storm raging through their apartment. If only they can will her aether back into place, push and pull at the dynamis until they force the storm to calm. Something, anything, to keep her here—

“Shtola!” Corisande cries out as Y’shtola’s fingers dissipate in her grip. She tries to stay calm, to keep the dynamis from overwhelming her, but panic courses through her and her heartbeat races in a frenzied rhythm. The wind whips faster and faster, darkness swirling around Y’shtola, and Corisande can barely hear her own voice. “Shtola, please—”

“I am here,” Y’shtola says quietly, her calm voice at odds with the fear that consumes Corisande. “I am right here, love.”

The darkness rises, encompassing Y’shtola entirely. Corisande surges forward and thrusts their hand into the dark, swirling mass where Y’shtola stood, intent on pulling her back into the light, but their grasping fingers come up empty. The wind roars, tearing at their hair, their clothes, their face, until they have to close their eyes against it.

Silence falls. There is no comfort in it, so harsh is it in its suddenness. Their stomach twists, nausea threatening to overwhelm them as they struggle to quell their dread. When they open their eyes, there is only darkness.

It’s disorienting—they cannot tell up from down, left from right, cannot hear anything but their own harsh and erratic breaths. They try to call out, but the words catch thick in their throat. 

A cool touch on the back of her hand startles her. She jerks back but the touch is persistent, if light—fingers sliding over her skin to grip her own, thumb stroking her knuckles in slow, soothing circles. 

“Shtola?” they breathe, closing their fingers over her soft, familiar ones. Their breathing begins to slow as the adrenaline fades, and their eyes adjust to the dark as they calm. The shape of Y’shtola leans toward them, and they make out the concerned droop of her ears, the worried flick of her tail over her shoulder. “You’re alright?”

“I am perfectly fine,” Y’shtola answers, her even tone a balm to Corisande’s racing heart. “‘Tis your well-being that worries me at the moment.”

Their surroundings come back to them when she speaks—the slightly uncomfortable infirmary bed they have been lying in for days, the too thin sheets beneath them, the blanket tangled around their legs. The window beside their bed, dark curtains drawn to keep out the light from the lamps that line Old Sharlayan’s stone paths. Their ears, sensitive to sound even in their most relaxed state, pick up the wind that rolls through the city outside, and they stifle an instinctual shiver. 

“Fine, now.” Guilt and embarrassment curl together in their stomach. They must have thrashed in their sleep, worrying her over nothing but a bad dream. They hear Y’shtola’s book snap closed and the fabric of her dress shift as she moves, and then the darkness recedes, replaced by the yellow glow of the lamp beside their bed. Though it had been calming to hear her voice, the sight of Y’shtola carries away their lingering worry in a wash of relief. 

“Are you sure?” Y’shtola asks. In the dark, her even tone had masked the extent of her concern. Now, though the light is low, Corisande can see the worry in her expression. Her lips press together in a tight line as she looks them over for any sign of disturbance to their aether—the only type of harm to them she is capable of seeing, something they know frustrates her and eases her mind in equal parts. “You seemed upset, before I woke you.”

“‘Twas nothing, love,” Corisande answers. They push themself up, sore arms aching with the effort. It is hardly the first time Y’shtola has borne witness to one of their nightmares, but shame heats their cheeks anyway to know just how much she had seen. 

Y’shtola starts to speak but stops, jaw clenched. They can tell by the way she looks at them that she is thinking over her words. Finally, she says, pointedly, “You were calling my name.”

“‘Twas only a dream,” Corisande murmurs, her embarrassment growing yet again. Her nightmares have clearly upset Y’shtola already, and there is no use in continuing to worry her now that Corisande is awake. It would be better for them both if she kept the contents to herself. 

Y’shtola leans forward in her chair, as if to reach for them, but pauses, her fists clenched tightly in her lap. She lets out a small, soft sigh, and says, “Please, Corisande. Tell me what it is you need.”

It borders on reproach, the way she says their name, yet it strikes their heart as if it were a desperate plea. They know how difficult it is for her to have turned their care over to the healers in Old Sharlayan, how much must it grate on her to have so little to do for them while they recover. She has sat by their side for days, even while they slept, only ever wanting to help. They reach for her hand, ignoring the sharp twinge in their protesting ribs. “Will you sit with me?”

Y’shtola squeezes their hand, relief flashing across her features. She releases them to unlace her boots, pulling them off and switching the lamp off before settling herself against the headboard. Corisande lays her head in Y’shtola’s lap, her eyes fluttering closed when Y’shtola begins gently stroking her ears.

The last of their lingering tension fades under Y’shtola’s soft, calming touch, their limbs growing pleasantly loose and heavy as she lulls them to sleep. The dream returns unbidden to their mind—Y’shtola’s head on her chest, a line of warmth along her side, the picture of perfect bliss. A mirror image of this moment, until the darkness had set in. 

Corisande pushes the dream aside. This—Y’shtola soft and warm and whole underneath them—was real, and the dream was not. They were no longer under threat of the Final Days. They had defeated The Endsinger—

What were you thinking, fighting alone? Never do that again. My poor heart couldn’t bear it.

The memory comes barrelling to the forefront of her mind, pulling her sharply back from the edge of sleep. Y’shtola leaning over her on The Ragnarok, some combination of worry and frustration openly scrawled across her face, speaking to her in that same reproachful tone she had used moments ago, underlined with something like anger. 

They take a deep breath and tuck themself closer to Y’shtola, willing themself to fall back asleep. But it is no use—this memory will not be brushed off as easily as the dream, and it brings with it a new worry that pricks at them as sharply as any of their injuries. But there is no healing to be had until they discover just how deep this particular wound goes. 

“Shtola,” they say, barely above a whisper. Y’shtola responds with the quiet, inquiring sound she uses when Corisande interrupts her reading with a question, and the familiarity of it eases the pressure in their chest. “Are you angry with me?"

She does not answer right away, but now that the question is asked, Corisande has faith she will answer honestly. They wait in silence, patient under the soothing motion of Y’shtola’s hand over their ears. 

“I am. And I have every reason to be,” Y’shtola says, that chiding anger seeping into her even tone. “You should not have fought The Endsinger alone. What were you thinking?”

The amalgamation of despair that was The Endsinger looms in their memory, the way it had loomed over them at the edge of the universe. The Scions had given their lives so that Corisande could make her way to its nest, and The Endsinger had cast them into the vast abyss of space for their efforts. Their sacrifices had been far too great for Corisande to disregard when she found herself standing alone. It was a simple choice, after everything they had done for her, to save them and stay behind to see the job done.

“I had to stop it,” Corisande answers, with the same certainty she’d felt when she’d made the decision. “I knew you would be safe on The Ragnarok—”

“‘Twas not my safety that concerned me,” Y’shtola interrupts sharply. “Staying behind to face The Endsinger alone was reckless. ‘Twas dangerous. ‘Twas…” 

Y’shtola trails off, an uncharacteristic tremble in her voice that tugs at Corisande’s heart. They shift in her lap until they can wrap their arms around her waist, pulling her even closer, and wait for her to continue.

“I have always chosen to stand by your side,” Y’shtola says after a moment. “To be so forcefully parted by The Endsinger, to watch you stay behind while I was whisked to safety—’twas all I could do not to add my own despair to her endless reserves.” 

They had known Y’shtola would be unhappy with their decision the moment they made it, but they thought they could bear it, so long as she was safe. So long as all of their friends were safe. But the hurt in Y’shtola’s voice as she speaks wraps itself like vines around Corisande, thorns pressing into all their softest parts, tempered only by the relief that Y’shtola is still here to be angry with them. 

“If you had died alone at the edge of the universe while I was stuck safely on The Ragnarok, able to do naught but hope and pray for your safety…” Y’shtola tightens her arms around their shoulders with a shuddering breath they feel beneath their cheek. “I do not know if I could have borne it.”

Y’shtola’s loosened grip on her composure at the mere thought of losing Corisande is enough to crack her heart wide open. Love and affection spring forth like a river freed from a dam, washing away everything in its path. Overwhelmed, she buries her face in Y’shtola’s shoulder, all but nuzzling closer.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Corisande says. Though there is nothing she would have done differently, she cannot deny the pain that she caused, nor that she is sorry for having caused it. She asks, as quietly as the question that had started this conversation, “Can you forgive me?”

“Tis not as if I can ask you to promise not to risk yourself again, can I?” Y’shtola says after a moment of silence. All her earlier anger has leaked from her tone, leaving behind only calm acceptance. 

“No more than I could ask it of you,” they reply honestly. The image of Y’shtola disappearing in a whirlwind of aether while they stood helplessly by lingers in their mind, not the dream that had woken them more than once but the very real memory of her sacrifice on Ultima Thule. 

Y’shtola leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of their head before resting her cheek there. “Of course I can forgive you, love. I know you always do what you believe to be right. I only ask that you allow me to help, when I can. You need not take on everything alone.”

“You are helping,” Corisande murmurs. Y’shtola’s presence was always a comfort, even more so now that they so often dreamed of losing her. “Being here when I wake—that helps.”

“Should you ever need anything more, you only have to ask,” Y’shtola says softly. Corisande nods in quiet acquiescence, and for a moment they hold each other in silence, Corisande taking comfort in their synced breaths, until Y’shtola adds, dryly, “But please, allow me my righteous indignation over your well-being until you are able to leave your hospital bed.”

Corisande’s laughter bubbles forth, as soft and warm as they feel. Y’shtola runs her fingers gently through the long waves of their hair, and, safe in Y’shtola’s arms, they finally let themself drift into sleep, one from which they hope not to wake until the morning. 

#kels writes #oc: corisande ymir #a literal (dream) reaching and also. a metaphorical one. is how i was thinking of this lol #i went round and round with shtola in this one but i think im happy with how she is. if she seems wrong well i can explain everything in my #ten page essay on how they got here. aklsdfjlsdjfsa #also do think its a bit. cheesy perhaps. at times. and maybe it ends too abruptly. but tbh the problems here are not really solved for them #until cori spends a few months on their island. it's just like. touching on them??? #IM NOT TALKING MYSELF OUT OF THIS BYE