#she was always fucking mental

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 147

psychically induced chronic illness squad

#day 147 #year 4 #aradia megido #sollux captor #homestuck #arasol #solluxs migraine thing is right in his introduction #but we only get like. one line from aradia in her singular conversation with rose in a5 #where she mentions an 'elusive feeling of sickness' following her for her entire life #which i think you could read as like. anxiety/sense of impending doom due to upsetting psychic whispering 24/7 #but when i was a kid and i felt anxious it ALWAYS manifested as a feeling of Oh I Am Going To Barf About This #to the point that i spent like a full year getting a whole barrage of medical tests trying to figure out what was wrong with my guts #turned out it was simply undiagnosed mental illness because nobody really considered that a 6 year old could have one of those #but such is life anyway catch me projecting onto these two once a fucking gain

[kendallroygf]

btw this is probably one of the most insane and telling scenes in regards to stewy nd kendall. like the stewy-marcia interaction first off. the way it’s so clearly paralleling kenstewy with logan and marcia. stewy and marcia literally watch their respective persons in silence. also important to note that stewy was one of the first ppl to greet logan when he arrived probably bc he knew that one of the first things logan was going to do was approach kendall and he wanted to get in there first to gauge the situation + logan. but stewy’s concern for kendall in regards to what could happen when he’s in close proximity to logan is so clear and almost synonymous with marcia’s own concern/love for logan at this point. like it seems intentional that they were shown to be like. logan and kendall’s respective partners here

#kenstewy #succession #stewy hosseini #stewy/marcia interaction just in general is insane. like she greeted him with such warmth. you can tell she genuinely fucking likes him. #like that’s soooooo . us brown ppl always win btw ! #but also it’s like. the loganmarcia kenstewy parallels you could make… #marcia was the only one to completely understand and unequivocally love logan while knowing exactly who he was and what’s he done. and she #supported him stuck by him etc until he betrayed her #like he grew careless of her and took her for granted. and does that sound familiar? like that happened to my guys kendall and stewy. insane #ALSO throughout this scene you see stewy greet logan and marcia -> watch kendall talk to logan -> see him walking kind of fast in some #direction until caroline approaches him (and even then he doesn’t chat for long at all) -> then finally he finds kendall and sits down to #talk to him. like throughout this whole scene he’s just following kendall around😵‍💫 like it’s literally a party and he’s like. running after #kendall the whole time. and when he sits down he’s like. hey heard you talked to your dad lol. like he wasn’t 8 feet away watching kendall #intently stood next to marcia while it was happening. like that’s super insane #kind of unrelated but not really but stewy has the worst case of anxiety i’ve ever seen like he’s sooo anxious. he’s mentally ill fr and #i love him with all my heart #stewy #kennystewy #p

[ovaruling]

maybe a hot take but please don’t have or stop having children if you have an active eating disorder/body dysmorphia (including binge eating, not just restrictive disorders). seriously

thinking you’ll be the exception (because you’re So self-aware, unlike those Other disordered women) and won’t give your dysmorphia/eating disorder to your child is pride before a very slow and terrible fall

it never ever works. you’re never ever immune. i mean, such a huge reason of why there are so many of us now is bc our moms thought the same thing lmfao. didn’t matter how well-intentioned they were. no matter how much they tried to separate Their Problems from Ours. here we fucking are

i know it’s not women’s fault to begin with, but the reality is that those of us affected do incubate, nurture, and pass on the virus in the Current Way of Things

the buck needs to stop here. this isn’t a game. think of all the things your mother probably thought she was expertly hiding from you that you still picked up on and were profoundly affected by in a terrible and formative way. it will happen to you, too. don’t think it won’t.

if you know that you’re not solidly and confidently recovered, you have a responsibility to stop that buck and not actively attempt to create a child who will observe, mimic, internalize, adopt, and inherit your lifelong life-ruining behavior. the selfishness is breathtaking honestly

#eating disorders are one of the most treatment-resistant behavioral issues out there #once they take firm root #this is not quite the same as ‘don’t have children if you’re even a little bit mentally ill’ btw before anyone thinks it is #this is a very specific problem #and it is LEARNED #you cant always protect your child from the outside world influence but you can do something about what your child starts with at home #i am recovered now but i could’ve saved my whole life if my mom hadn’t been dieting when i was 7 #so i started dieting too #bc she was my mom and i did what she did #cuz i was fucking 7 #she never told me what a diet was. i just observed her. #and when she binged EYE binged #i blame her always for my food addiction

[evansbby]

haven’t i always said that selena gomez always plays the victim??? ALWAYS???

#her victim mentality is actually insane #forget genocides forget children and innocent people being bombed daily #she needs to find a way to make it about herself #it’s honestly fascinating to watch how tone deaf she is #it’s fascinating to watch her spew out ‘poor me’ rhetoric EVEN IN THIS SITUATION #all she truly cares about is her ex boyfriend and his wife #I’ve always said this but I think Hailey Bieber is 1000x the woman selena gomez is for enduring all the hate that she does #that Selena FUELS #Selena plays victim card and makes her fans go after strong confident queens like Bella hadid too #but forget all that #IMAGINE THERE IS A LITERAL GENOCIDE GOING ON AND YOU STILL FIND A WAY TO THROW A TANTRUM AND MAKE IT ABOUT YOURSELF #she’s literally the worst y’all I’ve been saying it for years #and if you’re a fan of hers #like not even a casual fan but if you’re a selena stan #then thats fucking weird I’m sorry bc all her little army does is defend her when she’s clearly in the wrong #I honestly have people like her

[everyone-is-emptyy]

#everyone is empty #thinking about moving back in w my mom & great grammy even tho i don’t fucking want to #but my mom is the worst caregiver in existence & my grandma doesn’t really want her help cuz she’s always drunk #i’m just ready to explode & run the house my fucking way & tell me mother to stop acting like my grandmas savior #idc about her drinking but she can’t live rent fucking free & be fucking USELESS #i hate my mother #girlblogging #mentally fucked #bpd vent #depressing shit #anxi4ty #mentally tired #actually bipolar #bipolar disorder #ptsd #bipolar depression #tumblr girls #girlboss #bpd mood #this is what makes us girls #su1c1d3 #su1c1d4l #stressed and tired #dark memes #depressing memes #bpd things

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[butwhatifidothis]

So, why do some people who love Crimson Flower always go on about how the English translation is pure evil? Because they always say that "oh, Treehouse hated Edelgard," but they never do a side-by-side comparison of why the English translaton is significantly more pro-Dimitri and anti-Edelgard (notice who they leave out in that) than the Japanese script.

From what I've seen, it seems to come from early fandom interpretations of 3H saying that it was "mistranslated to make Edelgard look worse" that came from people who, uh. Primarily didn't actually speak Japanese, or otherwise had a fairly severe misunderstanding of it.

You'll see this with pretty much every big-name event that is claimed to have been "mistranslated" in general. The AM parley, the Continue To Kill no u, Faerghus Toxic Masculinity, and "the Dream Interview calls her an antagonist not a villain" are the Big 4 of this thing happening, and all four of them have been thoroughly debunked as nonsense by people who actually speak and understand Japanese. That's probably why the actual MAJORITY of events that get the "this was mistranslated to make Edelgard look worse" card don't actually have that side-by-side comparison you mention (since there's WAY more smaller things that they say this about, for example Dimitri was TOTALLY JOKING with Edelgard during Gronder 1 and TOTALLY WASN'T freaked the fuck out at her "jokes"), because the people who claim this are 0-4 on being correct about this for four of the most important examples of this supposedly happening.

So they'll kinda just say anything is Totally A Mistranslation in the hopes that the English-speaking fandom who for the most part don't speak Japanese will believe them, and through that believe them on what the game is "actually" trying to say. With that being, of course, that Edelgard was completely and utterly right about literally actually factually every single thing she has ever said in the game ever and literally actually factually every single other person who disagrees with her is completely and utterly wrong (unless what they're saying is, of course, in alignment with what Edelgard is saying).

And if anyone who actually knows what they're talking about comes in and corrects them - even nicely! - they'll either go on about how everyone is coming after them (read: people who understand Japanese are correcting someone who doesn't understand Japanese about something that exclusively revolves around understanding Japanese), or they'll accuse that person of being a liar/sexist/homophobic POS who just wants the poor little gay bean that is Edelgard to be pure and utter evil since they totally view all gay women to be pure and utter evil.

All this, from what I can gather, is mostly to serve as a justification as to why they like Edelgard since they view liking her as a villain to be a genuine mark of bad character, for some reason. They want to believe that she's the progressive figure who does everything for the little guy for one reason or another, and so grab for any excuse they can give her they can think of to make their interpretation of her not seem so unfounded against all of the evidence Edelgard provides the player that she really is just an imperialist who doesn't really give a shit about her people if doing so gives even the slightest bump to her goal of forceful unification. All because daring to like villains is just soooo baaaaad lmao

#ask #anon #anti edelgard #anti-edelgard #edelgard critical #edelgard discourse #just to be safe #oh noooo i spelled out Edelgard's name in tags meant to be blacklisted can't wait for this post to be screencapped on Twitter lmao #anyway. #it's why they so often BLOW THE FUCK UP on people who like Rhea - they see her as an ontological villain so anyone who likes her must be ba #same with Dimitri and why he has ''manpain'' instead of trauma and ''toxic masculinity'' instead of mental illness #and why they can't fuckin' decide on where Claude slots in since he agrees with Edelgard on something but still stands against her #which is why you get either Edelgard's Cool POC Friend or Satan for him #because villains are bad and liking villains is bad so people who like villains are bad #so Edelgard CAN'T be a villain because then they'd be bad people for doing the Bad Action of liking a villain #hence them making up mistranslations that ~totally prove~ that Edelgard isn't a villain #(while they ignore all of the ACTUAL mistranslations that show off how much more blatantly villainous she is in the JPN version) #not the first time this sort of thing's happened in fandom it's just always annoying when it happens

[baynton]

#mat baynton #mathew baynton #girl!mat #mathew #girl mat #✨ her ✨ #my actual wife #the love of my life #i would die for her kill for her etc etc #she is everything to me mentally i am fucking her always #** #***

[venusmages]

Weird mix of being super stoked that a lot of my problems are going to be fixed so easily now that I'm diagnosed while also being furious yet another way my only parent fucked me over has revealed itself

#i definitely got tested as a kid but my mom has always been #staunchly against mental health help #i got a low dose antidepressant in college and she threatened to put me in a home. so #she fucked up my body AND my brain!!! how fun! #why is she literally a cartoon villain idk

[victimized-martyr]

stole this from basu on twt bc 🙌🏼 preaaachh

#kyman #south park #i also am in love with the absolute denial he was in during PC #craziest shit I’ve ever seen #Kyle deadass saw eric’s wedding ring. and wife. and KIDS #and was like ‘no. 🧍‍♂️ fake news’ #kyle heard cartman havin sex?? he doesn’t tell them to stop bc it’s rude. he tells eric’s wife ‘hey ur husband gave me aids’ and DOESNT #CLARIFY SHIT and bro doesn’t realize the fucking implications #Kyle getting worked up over heiman NOT for her sake. but eric’s #’in a way wE’rE aLl gOiNg oUt wiTh cArTmAn’ what the FUCK does that mean kyle #kyle’s stupid little ‘Hey heidi so I know you and cartman have an anniversary comin up’ (I. no words.) c #‘some of us don’t think cartman’s qualified to be with you. what do you find in him that’s remotely REDEEMING’ #motherfucker didn’t even ask why she liked him. asks what’s ‘redeeming ‘ abt him. kyle I know wanting to redeem cartman is Your Thing but #jesus dude let heidi speak for herself #don’t get me started when the girls were like ‘do u like heidi?’ and kyle had a mental breakdown (he’s always known when he Likes a Girl. #wtf why was he so torn up abt it.) #also Kyle ‘I hate Cartman let’s exclude him from building boats’ Brofloski goin ‘awww cartman i’m sorry’ as soon as #Cartman gets emo abt the ‘surgery’ and is the first to include him in boat building #AND THEN proceeds to be on top of eric abt the quality of boats?? when no one else cares? not even BUTTERS? y does he care so much?? #weirdo. fuckin weirdo fr

[jewishfalin]

There is a very specific sort of antisemitism that is seemingly common in mental health facilities and its fucking terrifying

#the last 2 times ive been in a mental hospital it was always the most visibly jewish person who got targeted by nurses #and i happened to be the most visibly jewish person in a psychward the last time #its like. the 1st time there were more jewish people in there and the one of us who got it the worst was an older woman with bipolar disord #and like. many of us who noticed how terrible she was getting treated had to tell staff off multiple times #like wtf stop u r literally just poking her with a stick at this point trying to get her to have a meltdown so u have an excuse #to lock her away #it was so fucked #and the rest of us jews in there were like... slightly more stable enough to ignore the taunting from staff #like they'd find the smallest shit to get on our asses about or tell us we're being delusional abt things out of nowhere #like they tried to get a rise out of us specifically so they could frame us as crazy and neurotic when we get frustrated #and the last time i had the mosfortune of being the 1 of 2 jews who was visible and very unstable #i was made sick by nurses on purpose and then gaslit when i was up all night vomiting #i had to be given an injection and sedated the next day just so i would stop projectile vomiting all over my room #i had multiple seizures and they told.me i was throwing myself on the floor #they did things to make me break on purpose #and they did it to others to but #it was different w how they did it to me? #and when they didn't let me go to the main eating area bc i kept fainting/seizing they ordered me shit with pork when i have kosher diet #it was fucked and i know this is a problem #its a problem in outpatient too #i ended up homeless for like a year bc an antisemitic counselor fucked me over #vent

[lollytea]

What would be your headcanon for how jealous would play out in a huntlow relationship cause they seem to healthy to do the whole make jealous thing, also I love your blog it’s a god send.

Neither Hunter nor Willow are especially prone to jealousy. Everybody gets jealous now and again so they both probably experience it occasionally but not to the extent that it affects their relationship.

Gotta remember that when Hunter first met Willow, she was very popular and well liked at Hexside, something he must have noticed before he even started developing a crush on her. His initial impression of her was a cool powerful witch that tons of people admired. So he's certainly not thrown off when that admiration from others starts making an appearance in a romantic sense.

It does not bother him. Not one bit. Because in his opinion, it's perfectly understandable. Like. What's he supposed to do? Confront them and demand they not have a big stupid crush on her? She's Willow fucking Park. It's a no-brainer. If somebody asked that of him a few months ago, he would be at a complete loss on how to go about it. He'd probably be more offended if somebody their age mentioned that they didn't have any interest in her whatsoever.

I like to believe that, while Hunter will probably still grapple with a lot of self-doubt post-series, his relationships are what he's most emotionally certain about. He doesn't question if the people who love him actually love him and that includes Willow. Huge growth from him. He's very secure in the fact that she's not going to suddenly meet somebody else and lose all interest in him. He knows he gets more love and attention from Willow than anyone else who's into her. So he's chill with half of Hexside fawning over her to their collective heart's content.

It's shit like

"I saw you flirting with Willow Park in the hallway. Aren't you worried her boyfriend is gonna get mad?"

"Dude I was talking to her boyfriend at lunch and he was giving me advice on how to impress her."

Willow on the other hand, is not an extremely jealous person but I like to believe that something about another person expressing an interest in Hunter tugs out a slightly petty and immature side of her. Emphasis on slightly.

It's the same side of her that was eager to crash the Owl House into Blight Manor just to show Amity that their moonlight conjuring was better than hers. It's the same side of her that used to just sit there and silently seethe at her desk when Boscha and her friends would snatch her pens and hairclips and snacks without any consideration for the fact that they were hers and you can't just take her stuff.

Of course, Willow has matured a lot since then. She's in a better place mentally. She's tons more confident and understands that, as Captain of the Flyer Derby team, its almost impossible to bully her anymore.

She's not threatened when people flirt with Hunter. She trusts him. She's just astounded at the audacity. Because surely, you are not trying to snatch Captain Willow Park's boyfriend right from under her nose, right? You can't be that dumb, right?

Willow is excellent at hiding it. Her actions are subtle. But if this is ever happening, she just wanders over, friendly as ever, though suddenly a lot more affectionate with Hunter than she tends to publicly be. Getting a little clingier is all she does to establish that flirting with him just simply isn't going to fly. And it usually stops after that.

So yeah. It definitely irks her a bit. But she never really lets jealousy consume her.

#semi unrelated to the point im making #but i imagine hunter DID used to get quite jealous before he and willow started dating #but he was jealous of gus luz and amity and even the goddamn palismen #because gus was special to willow in a way that she often gave him cuddles and smooched his little face #which made hunter shift uncomfortably in his seat for reasons he could not fully understand yet #and amity frequently got to braid willows hair and they were always holding hands and linking arms etc #and luz just found it SO easy to walk up and cup willows face and squish her chubby cheeks and squeeze her tight #and of course willow would coo and fawn over the palismen constantly #and hunter whos still figuring out what his feelings for willow even ARE and goes mentally buckwild every time she touches him #oh hes ready to fucking COLLAPSE every time he witnesses these little moments #she doesnt know him AS well as she knows the others #so theres still a little distance to the affection she gives him #and that drives him INSANE

[dennisboobs]

ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

#ada speaks #idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh #which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but #chasing this mfer down to give him a hug #he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life. #i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is #he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this #letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able #i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar #but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15 #even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center #because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too #this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad #the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling #because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act #the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan #means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off #so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it. #klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault. #it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen #cw csa mention