#she's sooo confused about trans people

[bigpeepee]

my friend from work is so completely ignorant about queer things that it's genuinely shocking sometimes. like today I found out she thought that in lesbian couples one person had to be the man and one the woman, and by that she meant like butch/femme. and I was like. oh girl. we have sooooo much work to do

#don't get me wrong she's such a good person she's just shockingly ignorant for someone so young #but it's fine we'll get there #she's sooo confused about trans people #and ngl i do feel extremely uncomfortable when she misgenders them #the feeling of ''you're not safe here'' really kicks in and i have to tell myself that she's not doing it in bad faith she's just unaware #i hope she understood it soon enough to at least stop misgendering because that part really fucks with me #im perfectly okay explaining that gay couples don't have to conform to heteronormative roles #the transphobia is harder to deal with #but i think it's going to be worth it i really think she will get there with time and im glad i can help with that #anyway i OBVIOUSLY haven't come out as nonbinary yet because like. that's way too many chapters ahead in the queer book #we're still on the binary trans chapter she's Not Ready for that conversation #it's so funny because she always says that she's always had guy friends and im one of the first girl friends she has and im like 👀 #uhhhhhh sure. girl 👀👀👀👀👀 im. yeah. that's me. a girl 👀👀👀👀 👀 #but hey good news at least im not a man either so it's still new!!

[nerves-nebula]

i feel sooo sick haha like. what words am i allowed to use for my oppression as a trans masculine person, genuinely. how am i supposed to express the intersection of the systemic misogyny i face with my transness cuz despite it being an intersection of transphobia and misogyny we can't really use transmisogyny (which is reasonable. Like, i get it, that'd be confusing and that term wasn't made with us in mind) but like. where IS the term made with us in mind? where's one that hasn't been run into the ground by people who take it in bad faith?

where's the terms and theories made by us about our place in and outside the gender binary and how we're a threat to it that society hates, where's those theories that are taken seriously by other trans people! and if they exist outside of a few rambling tumblr blogs then why haven't i seen them.

every time i see a term coined to address my specific set of intersections people absolutely HATE it because they hate the idea that anything even vaguely masculine could be the point of oppression. i'm not even a man, i've got no affiliation with men, i've got tits and a beard. people call me she and her every day. there is like bare bones nothing for me.

every day i see people insist over and over that terfs and transphobes don't target us, that they never targeted butches, that because in some places girls can have short hair we're prolly just fine. as if terfs and transphobes don't use "mutilated little girls" as a talk point and see us as traitors and try to correctively rape us- as if they don't want us as dead as everyone else just because you don't pay attention when they say they do.

andd like. nobody gives a shit??? about us?? ever??? about our rates of rape and suicide?? about our reproductive rights?? we are almost always an afterthought and our terminology is ridiculed mercilessly or we're called "afabs" and told we're trying to talk over transfeminine experiences even when we're actively trying to point out the similarities between different kinds of trans peoples lives! i see myself in you and you can't see me as anything but an annoying "afab" whining hysterically??!!!! how is that not misogyny??? cuz i've got a beard????

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW WHITE PEOPLE FACTOR INTO THIS.

and i go on here and see all these posts that are trying to be progressive about shit but do it by separating us into afab and amab and insisting that our experiences are just SO DIFFERENT. its miserable. i am miserable. it's so isolating.

#nnstuff #vent #saw some triggering stuff dont worry about it

[a-strangers-thoughtss]

Yes. This is my first post. Yes I’m going to use it to shove my trans Willel agenda down everyone’s throats.

Like think about it, modern au, Willel are twins and both trans.

Like I’m so in love with trans Will bc I relate to him sooo much so why not make him trans. + relates to his “being different” and comfort in his friends and family. Idk it just makes sense to me.

(Also like Mike being confused asf bc he’s feeling weird about him, but he shouldn’t bc Will Is a boy?? Like he thinks he has internalized transphobia but rlly he just has a fat crush on Will)

But El? I think it makes so much sense with her arc in the show, coming into her femininity and individuality. Like she loves girl things so much and is hyperfeminine bc she never got to do it before. Trans El just makes me so happy too, bc like her a Max Hanging out and doing girl shit??? Like it would be so affirming to her and I love the shit out of it.

There you have it folks. FTM Will and MTF El.

That was prolly a rambly mess that’s very difficult to understand

No I will not be taking any criticism.

I do in fact have headcannons for this as well if people would like me to post them.

#byler #<— target audience #stranger things #Willel #will byers #mike wheeler #el hopper #trans will Byers #trans el hopper #modern au #they make me so happy #you have no idea #Bonus if Mike is a he/they #they’re all lgbt #will liking boys and being confused bc what if he’s just faking? #same with el but the other way #and she’s pan #do I want to be them or date them vibes #me too guys me too #oh also a lil #elmax

[illgetthe]

Hello Illgetthe today I am having paranatural thoughts and your inbox shall be my parchment. ☆☆

Isaac O'Connor is soooooo transfemme to me like. She strikes me as an uncracked egg the same way barbed wire on a baseball bat would strike a face in a zombie movie.

Shes someone who feels profoundly isolated and other'ed from her peers and doesnt know that this feeling is a feeling that other people have- she just thinks its another thing that makes her alone. I think she gets sooo much gender envy from the anime girls she watches and just thinks its a crush. I think she has giant posters of Sailor Moon on the wall for completely cisgener reasons. She thinks Lisa (also gendersomething) is soooooo cool but doesnt know why, again maybe just assuming its a crush. "Why do you like the pink power ranger so much" "uhmmmm because shes cool". Anyways

[Playing animal jam]

Suzy: Hey Isaac why is your avatar a girl? :?

Isaac, defensive: Because girls are prettier okay? They have cooler outfits and cooler clothes boy clothes are so boring so ofc I made her a girl so she can look more interesting

Colin: ...... >_>

Dimitri:....... <_<

Suzy: ...... <_<

Colin: .... Mines a girl too Isaac dw about it

YES QHAQHAHA let's dig in

Isaac is definitely SOMETHING to me. she/her or she/he agenda... the interaction u wrote is HILARIOUS bc ohh my gosh so right but so wrong... I feel like another factor could be ed coming out as whatever nonbinary bastard ed is only to get poor isaac confused bc like....? You can't do that. And she wouldn't mean like you can't as in like, doesn't know what trans is, or transphobic (although i feel like she would be mistaken as so bc 1. Its a lil funny and 2. Isaac SEEMS so bamboozled by it or just condescending when really it's just confusion) but like as in YOU can't. As in it being someone that close in her bubble not necessarily being gender funky right off the bat like Lisa but later DISCOVERING IT? As in sometimes people don't KNOW? Ofc ed is like yes I can....when collin/someone else pulls the same stunt it's like a double blast Biden beam was shot into his/her she/her heart. ANYWAYSZ THANK you for writing on my scroll....fem isaac outfits time. He would wear miku binder we can’t ever pretend he wouldn’t

#isaac goku o’connor. #pnat isaac #paranatural isaac #isaac o'connor #Paranatural

[strawberrycircuits]

》 ♡ 《

>CONTENT LOADING....

hi hi hello! my name is strawberry (or strawb)! (i also use the name roz sometimes!) im queer, trans, 19, and neurodivergent, and this where i scream about robots and gay little nintendo characters. i use he/him, it/its, ze/zem/zeir/zemself, and co/code/codes/codeself pronouns! itd be so so sooo cool if you could please interchange these. thanks!

i dont know what my gender is and honestly i dont care (and neither should u)! just dont call me 'she' please! if i had to label it id say my gender is whatever the hell nintendo was doing with all those see-through consoles in the 2000s. look at these sexy sexy boys

my art tag is #strawberryscribbles, my tag for cool art made by friends or made for me is #talented ppl tag, and thats about all i consistently tag anymore (aside from content warnings. if you need something content warned, lmk!). my art blog is @strawb-artfolder and my oc blog is @cultivatingyourfuture (though that project is on an indefinite hiatus due to signifigant rewrites, lol). im not great at art but i like growing and improving and showing you all that process, so im going to keep posting it anyhow! cringe culture is dead and its decomposing slowly in my backyard.

heres some things about me!!

my main interests are computers, old electronics, adventure time, portal 2, and nintendo (particularly mario, splatoon, and the legend of zelda!). i also reblog half life, tf2, and mlp stuff from time to time. i am, in fact, critical of all of my media interests. fuck nintendos business practices and fuck the way they fetishize arabic cultures 👎👎👎

send me asks!!!! about whatever!!!! it makes my day every time!!!!!

im not a linked universe fan or a linkverse fan in general. i might engage with that content because i like the designs and want to support artists but dont ask me about it i dont go there lmao (bonus links fucks hard though i will say that)

i dont tag spoilers. sorry! youre free to unfollow or block me at any time :)

wanna know what music ive been listening to? heres my main playlist! maybe youll find something new!!! (and if you shoot me an ask saying u found a new song u like bc of me.... tell me! itll make my day!)

ive had people ask me a couple of times, so let me go ahead and say-- i like to refer to characters i have specific pronoun headcanons for WITH those pronouns! i usually garner confusion about this when i talk about oot zelda (he/she), botw link (she/he/they), and oot link (she/her). theres not really a reason, i just like to! (when i talk to people about their specific interpretations, i use whatever hcs theyve assigned them instead). if you wanna know how i hc any other characters, 🔫 me an ask!

im not going to sift through every blog that interacts with me or apply widely misused terminology to give an idea of what i do or dont want in my circle. im just going to say these things outright. i believe in radical queer acceptance (yes, even for whatever "weird" identity youre about to pull out as a gotcha), all transgender people and asexuals and aromantics and xenogenders and neopronouns are all valid, otherkin/therians are cool as hell, objectums are my friends, i want all pedophiles to die by my hand, youre weird as shit if you romanticize incest or pedophilia in any context, and i believe in reclaiming words like queer, fag, dyke, and tranny, which i will not content warn for. ok cool 👍

im a stupid broke college student and i can barely afford to feed myself most days so if you wanna help out heres my CA.

ermm i think thats all. heres a bunch of people i think are so so cool that you should go visit: b0nkcreat down-thedrain seagullcharmer syntheticspades trashedump basillica-gel dykevirgo cherrylavendertea localvoidcat thebleedingeffect gardnwater our-reality mackthecheese angstyvylene-i three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat unironicallycringe idiot-synergy michpat6 korokposting effervescentleaf pidgefudge avidcollectorofdust merriclo

#pinned poast

[sadbitchboi]

Being gender fluid is sooo confusing. Like for a few days I’ll feel very comfortable in my gender I was assigned at birth, I’ll think that I might just be cis, and then a few days later I’ll feel absolutely horrible about my body and the way people around me perceive me and think that I might just be a trans guy, and then other days I’ll just be like ‘yeah I’m a fuckin creature, that’s an IT, not a he or she’. And it’s even weirder when I’ll start the day off feeling like a grody lil dude, and then in a few hours I NEED to be the sluttiest pretty girl, and it’s just, wat the freak dude??? Not to be that person but gender, can you just pick a side?(that’s a joke)(but also yeah it would be nice and easy if I was just straight up cis girl or trans guy, way less confusion that way(but also I do love being both, but it’s just weird(and don’t even get me started on how I don’t really feel like I belong in the trans community bc, well, if I want I can still pass as a cis girl and yada yada idk man)))

#vent post #gendahflooid #gender fluid #why is gender so blegh #shit is confusing

[sawtual]

i have a nb question, is it ok if i go by she/they but also idk what i identify as?

im afab and grew up around conservatives so all i've ever know being a girl/woman but tbh the concept of me being a woman doesn't make sense to me like sometimes i feel like im cosplaying a woman even tho im afab but also sometimes i enjoy being feminine but also i the closest to wearing gender neutral clothes for me is t shirt and jeans but the tshirt is like hello kitty or something so i dont really know what dressing gender neutral would be like also i know gender doesnt have to do with clothes but i always wonder about it

other than clothes tho the mere concept of gender is confusing to me but i do feel more feminine than masc i was thinking maybe im a demi woman but idk i just feel like i have no gender but also femme at the same time if that makes sense

but i dont have gender dysphoria at all and i dont notice any gender in me at the same time

you didnt even need to elaborate, just from the first sentence alone yes of course its ok to use any pronouns you want regardless of how you identify <3 there are even cis people who use different pronouns than those that align with their birth assigned identity. gender is sooo crazy and we are all just doing our best and trying to make ourselves happy! try out different labels try out whatever pronouns you want to use! dont stress about it too hard <3 id say maybe look into the label agender bc u describe a lot of similar experiences that i have and ive been iding as that for a long while now ^_^ but truly just do whatever makes you feel comfortable. you dont need dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary, seeking out labels and identities that make you feel the most You is whats most important!!

#hope this helps ^_^ <3 #asks #anon

[partyinthemysterymachine]

They make a kid? Ehh? (from a post u made last year)

hii!! hehe yeah :3c i assume you're talking about my -adjacent au where Harry is trans and James is Enormous and then they had a baby after getting home from Silent Shenanigans, LOL

in that case.. yes!! :3 they had a baby named Rose, and she is just super fuckin' weird, just like her daddies :3c (especially takes after james, tho - she's even got his green eyes, and good for her!!) (also the name Rose was chosen because i thought those two morons would really like an old, "vintage" name, and i only realized later that the SH-movie protag was a Rose and i was like godDAMMIT it happened again >:( Accidental Name Connection. so yeah, that's the only reason why she's a Rose LOL) (AND TITANIC OBSESSIONS ASIDE, TOO - do NOT LOOK AT ME--)

in -adjacent, Harry IS older, it's true, i haven't quite hammered out the correct ages vs timelines so that things coincide the way i'd want them to LOL (god if you thought GOOMT's timelines were wonk, jesus CHRIST then no one is ready for -adjacent's, let alone me LOL) but i imagine Harry may have been around 47 or 48 when Rose was actually born. James is a bit younger than him, but hashing that out is not only GOOMT spoilers, but also super confusing for the -adjacent timeline, LOL so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ WHO'S TO SAY

although i know you don't mean any harm or offense by your comment and you mention this all in good faith, i want you to know that i'm not mad, nor upset with you in any way!! we're all cool here, maaann.. we're all just breezin' :3

that said, while i always appreciate the interest in -adjacent, i would rather people not offer diagnostic speculation or suggestion about my OC (Rose). i haven't mentioned anything about any disorders or ailments Rose may have (other than Silent Hill Please Stop Violating The Restraining Order-isitis), and i don't plan to diagnose her with anything either, other than "Local Weirdo, Like Her Dads". (it's a Mason-Sunderland thing.)

i don't hc anyone to be autistic. i'm not diagnosed with autism myself, and because of that, and the complexities of the disorder, i prefer not to encroach, out of respect.

now keep in mind: i DO support autistic hc!! i totally support and respect them, fire away!! but from where my comfort levels are concerned, there are some things i just don't feel i could write the way i'd want to unless i've lived that unique experience myself, and autism is one of those things on that list - which is, again, out of respect.

Rose is Just Weird™️. James is Just Weird™️. Harry is, well.. gestures. Just Like That, I Guess™️. LOL

thank you SOOO much for your asks, i LOVE talking about -adjacent (and about Rose, my sweet lil [REDACTED], that silly lil moss ball of her daddies' eyes :3cc)

hope to hear from u again soon anon!! KISS KISS MMWAAHH

#ches writes #adjacent #oc: rose #does a lil wiggle dance :3cc

[tyrannuspitch]

x

sorry to be a hater but i do kind of hate the way pronouns have entered the general lexicon. tbh. like number one. sooo many things being conflated all the time. how the fuck can you talk about "looking like a she/her" and then call yourself trans-inclusive in the same breath. number two. admittedly very petty. why is it ALWAYS "she/her" "he/him". every single english speaker already KNOWS how to decline those ones you can just say "she" or "he" and they'll all understand perfectly the object pronouns are just clunky wasted empty space. i'm pretty sure the reason people started giving out the full declension in the first place was half a) yes i really DO mean i want to be called they don't worry here's every possible form of it in case you're confused :))) and half b) neopronouns. you know, the ones people actually have to learn. but now the common form of it has got eroded down to only two forms, which isn't even useful for any pronouns beyond the two binary ones we all already know (do you prefer themself or themselves? do you use xe/xyr/xyr or xe/xyr/xym? let's set a standard pronoun format that makes it harder and more awkward for you to tell us!) and serves only as an in-group marker, to the point that "are you a she or a he?", despite being a perfectly clear, specific and value-neutral question, can be construed as Outdated and Offensive because it doesn't display familiarity with trans discourse, while "are you (a) she/her or he/him?" is Correct and Morally Good even when it does carry a huge amount of baggage just because it shows superficial engagement with the Discourse. arrrghhh

[adelle-ein]

looking at a post that came across my dash...i've read about the ravelry accessibility controversy before and it's never honestly made any sense to me. if the movement was heavily co opted by terfs that makes honestly a lot of sense but idk. i'm digging and not finding anything conclusive. i don't think it was completely invented but i think some things went wildly telephone game.

it's always been so strange though, especially some of the specific anecdotes and how most people were never able to describe what was actually triggering or a problem for them. or when they did, they described things that are also applicable to hundreds of other websites that they claim to be fine with. it does seem like something psychological that spread very quickly through people that were already very antagonistic towards the site, and people get EXTREMELY hostile about it still to this day. like far more hostile then they get about other famous website issues and redesigns, it always feels deeply personal. i'm willing to buy migraines, headaches, even seizures - but not seizures literally only induced by one website without flashing images. definitely not the people insisting they went blind from the website or instantly have the only seizures of their life every time they look at a still screenshot of it. it's especially notable to me that no experts/neurologists interviewed were able to explain the whole situation. many of the loudest voices already had massive amounts of beef with the site or founders. and people on reddit are quick to link to extremely transphobic bullshit articles when asked about it which....

and then they recommend ribblr which like...even higher contrast and starts flashing wildly if you scroll too fast. i can't use ribblr without getting headaches personally as someone with all kinds of weird photosensitivity issues. and ribblr was founded right when ravelry got "political" and banned trump content which is sooo dubious. it just seems so deeply unserious and confusing.

probably a "grain of truth, embellished into an insane layer cake of lies" situation. like this isn't me saying ravelry is perfect or this was handled perfectly by the founders, but it's very jarring that people literally only blame the trans woman on staff. it's even weirder that when people say "look at the horrible shit she said!" they link to really innocuous "i'm confused as to how this is happening" quotes. like they (not just her) did say rude shit but people are equally angry about them saying "we don't understand what people mean and experts we talk to don't either" which is wild to me.

all that being said, website monopolies suck, but god people are REALLY weird about ravelry in really specific ways that definitely come across as targeted in a lot of cases. it's just a kinda dated website run by kinda annoying people, it's not anything near as unpleasant as the shit ribblr pulls with "renting" patterns and discouraging education/computer literacy...so many of these people are ao3 worshippers too...tbh i hate the Fiber Arts Community Drama like it's not cute or funny hehe knitting ladies getting mad. it's really quite nasty and unpleasant most of the time. you could not pay me to use those website forums or subreddits...

#txt

[distortingbones]

the thing about looking androgynous without fitting the skinny short-haired nonbinary stereotype is that nobody* actually seems to be CONFUSED about my gender. sure, once in a blue-haired moon a queer will clock me as trans and ask my pronouns, but typically people will just Decide what i am. and it's almost exactly 50/50 whether anyone decides i'm male or female, with no apparent rhyme or reason to which they choose.

for instance today one of my middle-aged white lady coworkers she/her'd me and then i literally turned the corner and a different middle-aged white lady coworker he/him'd me.

and if someone has decided i'm a man they get sooo weirded out when someone else calls me a woman. a previous coworker got really upset when a customer called me ma'am in front of her because she thought he was making some kind of mean homophobic joke. and i was like brenda sweetie this happens to me every day it's ok.

* except kids. kids will ask "are you a boy or a girl?" over and over again until i give them an answer. it's fucking hilarious

#mine #personal #nonbinary

[mostautisticsinner]

sits down

i am interested in the ishmael and possibly don quixote trans hcs :o

v v interested

I WAS LICHER ALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING A FIC ABOUT TWO COMPLETELY DIFF CHARACTERS BUT I SAW THIS AND GOT SO HYPE I OPENED MY LAPTOP JUST TO TALK ABT THEM.......

First things first. Ishmael intersex. I haven't pondered what condition she has yet, if I should go Full On Projection and give her what I have or make it something completely different, but either way she's always felt like Not A Girl and Not A Boy (physically) even if her birth records say one thing. It's estranging for sure! But at the same time she loves her body and is glad she's intersex

Ok onto other thangs ... I think she chose her name herself because she read Moby Dick when she was on the boat Sooo much she had SO many Weird Nightmares but it was fun for her. Just like me FR etc. Named herself after a fictional character , As you do

She identifies as transfemmasc... Would think its funny to say shes both a cis man and a cis woman but she needs to have twice the transgender swag. Shes bigender but presents femme and also mostly just says she's transmasculine if anyone shes comfortable with enough to have a Confusing Identity But Not Too Confusing with

Always always gets gender euphoria from wearing boxers. Also just more comfortable but she's simply always staring at herself when she wears them

Keeps getting impulses to cut all her hair off especially when someone compliments how long it is but she refrains. Somehow

Don Quixote also chose her name , she's a trans woman and did not enjoy her given name for years and most names just felt like they didn't fit until she settled on naming herself after, Don Quixote. Felt like it would be disrespectful to name herself after a Fixer too

Her chest is mostly flat but thinks its awesome actually. Every clothes fit her and even though bra shopping is hell on earth at times whenever she does get a good fitting one thats also euphoria babey ......

Always was like Intensely Oblivious about the concpt of being trans but Idk how to describe it. Like not that she didnt know but that she was Always just like "Oh Im a girl :)" to everyone even if they were trying to persuade her that she wasnt. Its the future old man people can change genders.....

#I dont have a lot for them two but theyre transbians thank you and goonight #Don Quixote LCB #Ishmael LCB #Inbarks #Fic was Meursang if you even care /playful

[canyon-of-chaos]

Me, talking about a person (okay with any pronouns) or a character, referring to they/he for them:

everyone on the internet:

Me, talking, referring with ‘she’ to a character without confirmed gender (or sometimes confirmed she/her)

everyone on the internet: HOLY CARUMBA THATS A GIRL?? WOMEN FR??

Like it actually sucks that literally every character ever is always ‘he’ (even when confirmed they/them or she/her) just because.

I don’t need to give my characters eyelashes or flowers or boobs (i can’t even draw those lol) to show that they’re she/her!! not every single player character has to be he/him!!

ppl be like ‘gender is what you’re born as ALWAYS’ okay explain how all the vessels from hollow knight aren’t they/them then (they are in this case but i’m sure these people wouldn’t say so because it’s SOOO HARD’

Anyways every single one of my characters goes by she/her or they/them (or both, or all) unless proven otherwise. i ask myself why i never make cis male characters and the answer is ‘for every assumed male character i make a she/they character’

also don’t GET ME STARTED ON THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE BEEN MISGENDERED AS THE ONLY PRONOUNS I DON’T GO BY ONLINE :/ WDYM ‘HE’ JUST BECAUSE I GAME- I’m not even trans, i feel bad for the trans folks who actually deal with misgendering IN PERSON

maybe women game more than you people think and the only reason you think we don’t is because you keep assuming we’re guys unless we speak

and i resist the urge to correct people on my pronouns but that’s just what ppl think ‘triggered snowflakes’ act like :(

tdlr: STOP FUCKIGN ASSUMING EVERY PERSON AND NON-HUMAN CHARACTER ON THE INTERNET IS A CIS MALE IM SO TIRED

p.s.: can some helpful person on the internet please explain to me why everyone assumes this stuff i’m very confused rn

#transphobia #transphobia tw #gender #gender and gaming #foxxe talks #rant

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

I am so sorry if this may sound ignorant (I have been doing online school for about 3 years now and havent really been around many people my age for a while so I don't know if this plays into my question or not)

I have 2 questions

1. I use the pronouns she/her (it's just what I have always been comfortable with) but I prefer to were more masc or boy stereotypical clothing I guess you could say. Now I do like girl clothes but not as much. I think im just confused if it's a body thing or a gender thing because I like masc clothes so much since they just fit my body better I definitely feel more comfortable in them, but I also like to wear fem presenting clothes as well that may be more form fitting. And you know sometimes I want to put on a suit and strut around in it and sometimes I want to put on a dress it just depends.

2. I am very confused about my sexuality lol. I don't think I realized people could even be more than what society had already deemed as normal and around the age I would have probably began to explore my sexuality covid hit and everything went online. (For reference I am about to turn 16 and would have been 13 when the pandemic hit) I feel the same when I see an attractive female as I would an attractive male (this goes for anyone really if I find them attractive I can feel attraction to them, whether it's a platonic, romantic, or sexual attraction genuinely don't know) I also am fine reading sex scenes but whenever people talk about it in person or if I watch it on tv that's when I get uncomfy and I genuinely can't see myself having sex with someone (idk if that will change or not) but im fine with seeing myself being in a relationship and cuddling expressing my love for a person and sometimes kissing (it depends)

I am so sorry that this was sooo long and all over the place my brain is all messy when I don't plan things out before I write or say anything, and you don't have to answer of course this was just me ranting about how I have no clear thoughts as to who I am yet and it feels good to get it off my chest lt even if you don't answer or even see this.

Thank you genuinely it feels good to talk.

No need to apologise!! I’m here for u :] That’s good, I’m glad writing this ask helped you feel better—try and write shit down sometimes, even if it’s just hastily typed into a google doc and immediately deleted. Shit’s magic honestly.

Preferring or liking masculine clothing doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re transgender. Like obviously it’s a possibility but it’s not like, oh I like pants instead of skirts that means I’m a guy!! You could be trans or you could just be a girl who likes different types of clothing.

My advice is like, don’t sweat it too much, and just do what makes you happy. If you like masculine clothing, fucking go for it!!! I’m sure you’ll slay 100%!! If you wanna wear form fitting stuff, go for that too!! Just. Do what makes you feel like yourself, and do what makes you feel happy, don’t worry about labels and am-i-trans-am-i-cis and all that, kay? Just Vibe!!!!!!

I’d suggest you consider mspec labels, which means attraction to multiple genders, labels like bisexual and pansexual, or just plain old bi and pan might be good for you!!

You can look into the asexual spectrum, which is basically all sexualities that aren’t like 100% allosexual (allosexual means like. most of the population and how they experience sexual attraction.)

Yes, attraction can be confusing. And yes, it’s possible the stuff you feel might change. Maybe you’ll feel sexual attraction someday, or maybe you never will!!

But go with what you like *now.* If bi feels good, go for bi! If asexual feels good, go for it. If you wanna change it later, that’s okay!!

I’m gonna give you my standard new shoe advice—yknow when you have rlly shitty old shoes but you’re used to them, and when you get new shoes you’re like wtf these are really weird, but then you eventually realise they’re much more comfy and you were just used to the shitty old ones?

New labels can be kind of like that. So like, if u try a label and it feels Weird, ask yourself if the weird is a “this is the wrong shoe size” weird or a “i need to break this shoe in” weird.

Hope I could help you out!! Sending my love, and I hope you find what makes you feel happy and feel like yourself!! Have an amazing day <333

#ask #helping out a questioning person

[meowtalhead]

I'm trying SO hard to talk to my parents about trans rights in light of recent events but I'm starting to feel like it's impossible. Dad tunes it out completely, that is if he doesn't lecture me. And even when he knows he's wrong he can't accept it so it becomes a matter of authority, about how you need to Respect Your Father by not asking him to please not make a transphobic joke maybe. Mom listens at least, but ultimately I'm getting nowhere. She works at a children's hospital and is like ohhh we get bomb threats every day because we give gender affirming care to kids. Violence is never the answer, but it's bad on both sides 😊 i think parents who talk about the transgender are confusing their children. And they let 16 and 17 year olds make decisions to have top and bottom surgery... without permission from the parents!!! (gasp!) like how. How are both sides equal in this. A children's hospital is getting threats of violence, FROM WITHIN IN ONE CASE, and you're comparing that to. Teenagers. Making their own medical decisions? Stop with the righteous both sides have good and bad uwu 😊 bullshit and LISTEN. God. Fuck. And I'm not even gonna try with my brother, who sooo respects trans people until I interfere with dad's "right" to be a transphobic bully in public then I get locked out of a hotel room in Ireland "until I apologize" and "learn my lesson"

[menalez]

Ajfjsjakjdfjs there is a lot about lesbian culture in other countries I did not know about!! Like o_o why with thr nudes thing sjdjskdjsjd

I see though i think that makes sense. I feel like theres always that dumb idea of masculine feminine balance 😭 even though i myself am femme4butch i still dontt liek the whole oooaaga divine balaaance. Also its weird bc I think in USA, while there is that idea of course, there's also the 'lipstick' lesbians or 'fem4fem' stereotype or at least, what straight people think of the Good type of lesbians if it makes sense. Like what we see on tv... Its more appealing to them anyway

I mean my ex(😭 it hurts to say my god) gfs mom was actually a bit confused on whether she (ex) was trans like her brother (ftm) or just masculine, Bc i guess her idea of lesbians was the Lipstick kind.? but then also shes not usa american but latin American. Also she was very supportive and sweet just straight and confused with things gjdks

Still i think we have that too or single feminine lesbians get told how its good theyre not the ugly kind if people find out. I think gay men also have similar expectations put on them like ive read about families being more accepting if their son was the "top" or more manly seeming one in his relationship

Also me too 😭 its sooo weird like to have been pressured since being born+!!! And even my teachers would say omg stop flirtingg with boy classmate. ☹️ (crazy bc a teacher thatt taught us Gender Spectrum actualy said that to me bc i was telling this one boy off or something.. ookay.) And then my mom bringing up babies or grandchildren and then in the next moment telling me sex is evil and i should stay away from boys okay ma'am!!!

But jdjd glad that its not just me. Idk i keep feeling worried, but then I feel like im being stuck up and thinking im the only one in the world whos smart and sane so ill never find anyone. Like relax you are not the chosen one (@ myself of course)

Yeah i hope my family will be accepting andd not kill me fjsksjs and I hopee. I can find love and peace.... but thank you for listening! really I appreciate it bc sometimes it just feels like drowning in loneliness and i cant be myself even among friends andd etc. So. Ur very sweet 😭 mwah mwah thanks again mena

literally i could not tell u why she was showing me her nudes. im guessing it’s bc she wanted to show me that she gained weight and show her body before 😭😭 i felt like she was low-key flirting ngl lmaooo but she kept talking about her gf and that’s often a red flag for me sooo nothing happened there. i told her she shouldn’t sit around waiting for the day when her gf inevitably leaves her for a man n that’s not healthy etc. she’s also extremely self-hating in general and said a doctor told her that her lesbianism & masculinity are bc she doesn’t have enough estrogen in her body / has too much testosterone and that she should be on hormones to be fixed, which she fully believed.

im not keen on femme4femme lool from my experience most of them are weirdly anti-butches and hold misogynistic & lesbophobic beliefs! and i do think ur right that’s the more acceptable combo in the west (two gender conforming conventionally attractive women dating). i also hate the stupid idea that bc im not masculine im meant to be dating a woman who is bc it’ll “balance” us both. they also said when im with more androgynous or feminine women, i become more masculine which is “unnatural” or sth 🫥. also my mom is most in support of me dating women that can pass for men, i feel like she thinks if i won’t be w a man then the thing that’s best is me dating a woman who can be mistaken for a man. i think it’s mostly bc she wants to be socially accepted but it can be exhausting

ALSO the top thing is a whole ass thing in the gulf. there’s many bi & straight men who will literally get away with having gay sex bc they exclusively top 💀 a lot of those tests they use to check if ur gay (so they’ll jail u for it) are specifically testing if ur a bottom. it’s a weird weird phenomenon. and it’s especially weird that there’s this weird culture of even straight men seeking out men bc the society is very sex segregated. im sure some of those men aren’t actually straight but it’s such a prominent thing the way it is in prisons in the US that im sure many of them are. craziest part is this culture is most prominent in saudi of all places

omg when i was little i had mainly male friends bc idk girls thought i was a weirdo that stared too much at them or sth. and i was v close to my male friends, we’d hold hands n all but i think we both thought nothing of it. and my mom would be like “omg soooo cute my daughter has a boyfriend omg 🤗 she looooves the boys omg and they love her!!!” meanwhile im 5 years old and just thinking of it like holding my brother’s hand

manifesting u find ur dream gf soon and that coming out goes smoothly for u 🥺❤️ don’t hesitate to msg me whenever. i love hearing from other lesbians n it’s always heartwarming seeing younger lesbians accept themselves, i somewhat envy it (wish i were that brave & self-aware!!!) but it gives me a lot of hope for our future 🥰��🥰