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#so even if it was a problem he wouldnt stop loving me!!! do you understand brain? goodness...
strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
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been getting a lot more into Killing lately
#mine#vent post again hello. for the love of god#🎸#anyways um uhh uhhah uhagh i feel like violence is more apparent in my life#though it could def be due to the violent outburst i had the other day. just the aftermath of it ig#i have been feeling depressed and like i cant control my own life bc things are being withheld from me#hrgngh :( as usual. nothing is changing. i have to wait like this for a long ass time before it does.#oh right the point of this post: i keep feeling like my bf is mad at me even though there is literally nothing to signify that#he did not even say he was mad at me so why is my anxiety thru the roof HUH. well probably trauma#he said he would love me no matter what! but im still so worrieedddd :< i guess it wasnt a big thing to be mad about anyways so#i dont understand why he WOULD be mad about it. so unless he says he is mad/upset then he ISNT but my brain does not get this#there is NO reason for me not to trust him#also i have moved on from the 'why doesnt he message me first in the morning' fiasco which is good. i dont have an explanation as to why#i just am not mad about it anymore idk lol. well besides that my brain is feeling illogical things that i can recognize are illogical#but they still impact me :< its not fair at all... i could hypothetically construct reasoning why hes mad at me rn but im only hurting#myself this way. me moment. it was relatively innocent its not something to be MAD about he said hed love me for all my mistakes#so even if it was a problem he wouldnt stop loving me!!! do you understand brain? goodness...#HES LIKE. he is my beloved forever and i want to be holding him or touching him always. going to punch a wall idk#i just love him so much i dont want to mess up ever!!!!! god damn!! we are both depressed / have mental problems so we are doing our best#metaphorically smoking a joint with him rn i miss him. drugs are bad btw i would never do a weed. only in the metaphorical sense#i want us both to be less miserable so together we can be happy!! but why am i keeping him from doing things he likes...#but i want him to be happy?! but i want to spend time with him :( im gonna cry. WHAT AM I MAKING MYSELF UPSET FOR#he didnt even say he was mad at me i am just spinning this way out of proportion! ok!? he loves me forever#but yea i feel like my social filter for violence related things dissipated entirely. so i have been openly talking abt killing people#which is not good i am not going to do any of these things. my brain is too fond of them
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mattsgirlie · 3 months
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never existed part 2- chris sturniolo x fem! reader
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warnings: mentions of cheating, soft dom!chris, angst, mentions of drinking and smut.
word count: 3000 (sorry)
My relationship with Matt was honestly far better than it was two months ago, after i completely ended things with Chris, Matt and I became official and got a chance to get it right.
That didn't stop Chris from staring at us across the room with a pathetic entitled attitude like he knew something we didn't every time he was around, which was barely since he was jumping from party to party every night.
Matt didn't quite understood why his brother became so constantly bitter and mad towards everyone, especially the two of us but thought he was just going through a phase.
Nick even shared his theory about Chris being in love with someone and i laughed, "As if he was capable of that" was my answer.
Matt is out tonight and i just chose to stay home with Nick watching movies. Nick is my best friend since middle school and hiding from him what happened between me and Chris made me almost lose it.
"I know it was before you and Matt became official but it doesn't make it less fucked up girl. I love you and i'm sorry but i can't back you up on this one, you gotta tell Matt"
Nick said from the other side of the couch and i nodded in agreement knowing he was fully right.
"I know but i was- Well i am so scared, me and Matt are finally working out....but yeah i have to tell him, i can't base our relationship on a lie"
"What about Chris?"
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"Do you feel something for him or was it just casual?" He asked trying to understand the full picture and i sigh heavily.
"I can't say i haven't thought about it but Chris was always more of a friend with benefits type of thing, he is not the guy to catch feelings i guess"
"I don't know about that...i always saw the way he looked at you and talked about you, and now that you told me this it kinda makes sense with this attitude problems" Nick said frankly, concerned about his younger brother.
"Nah, he probably is just mad he lost a fuck buddy that's all..." I try my best to brush it off but his words actually got me thinking
He simply agreed and we switched topics as he noticed i was uncomfortable, plus we had a lot of catching up to do. We decided to put on classic disney movies and stay up all night like old times.
Already 2 movies in my phone rings with the name "Christopher" bright on the screen and it took me a minute thinking if i should even read it after almost three months without us having a proper conversation.
Christopher: my room rn
Christopher: its urgent
Christopher: i wouldnt text you if it wasnt and yk it
My hands are shaking at this point as i almost immediately stand up, i know he is right he would never text me if it wasn't important.
"Be right back, bathroom" I mumbled in a hurry, not even waiting for Nick to say anything back as i make my way up to Chris' room.
I knock two times and get no answer back, i stand there in silence for a while until i hear him mumbling a "Come in".
I walk in to see Chris on the floor with his back leaning on the foot of the bed, the lights were all off except for the LED in purple.
Chris had some empty bottles badly hidden under the bed and he looked half drunk, his phone was tossed on the carpet with our chat opened.
He looked deadened, his expression was dull as i ran to him "Chris what the fuck happened??"
"You happened" was what he answered almost immediately whilst i stood there astonished "What is that even supposed to mean?"
He looked up at me and i swallowed a lump of air, he didn't even say a word.
"You called me here, what did you want?" i insisted as i sat next to him still apprehensive and confused
"I wanted to tell you something but first i gotta ask you a question, after that you can go back to pretending i never existed or whatever"
His voice was raspy and bitter, not like usually because this time i could tell he was truly hurt "You know it's not that simple, Chris"
I say feeling the guilt wash me over "Yeah, your relationship is great you don't need me anymore, i see it pretty simply actually" He adjusted his posture still sounding mad.
"Ask your question, Christopher" I look him in the eyes getting equally angry trying to find a way out of that topic.
"Why'd you chose him?"
I was stunned for a second but answered the first thing that came to mind "You never said choosing you was an option"
Chris looks at me in genuine surprise like he didn't expect that to be my answer, carefully thinking about his next words.
"So would you? If you thought it was an option?" He asked low, almost shyly which surprised me to say the least as i grew just as angry as him with his question about an impossible case scenario.
"Don't put me in this position Chris you know it's fucking complicated. I'm with Matt now and we are finally making it work and i don't wanna-"
"He doesn't deserve you" he cuts me mid sentence growing angrier and impatient.
"What do you know about deserving? You always treated me like i was your fuck toy and when i get the chance to be happy for once you come back with this"
"You were my fuck toy? Are you actually being serious right now? If anything you would only text me when you wanted to fuck away all the shit he put you through, not the other way around"
At this point Nick could probably hear us shouting but that wasn't our main concern as i felt my face go red considering his words.
"When i first came into this room i was looking for a friend that i really saw in you, one thing lead to another and i'm so sorry it happend that way but now i am truly happy why can't you just fucking accept that??!"
"It's not a matter of accepting is just that-"
"What Chris? Just say it already!"
"He is cheating on you" He half shouted again looking down to his lap and to me as he kept going "He has been for a long time now and he probably is as we speak"
I had no words. When i used to go to Chris for a casual thing i knew with Matt i wasn't the only one either just the main, although we fought a lot and had disagreements he seemed genuine when he asked me to be his real girlfriend two months ago and promised everything would be different.
"Does he know about me and you?" I said in an indescribable tone and Chris looked up again checking for any signs of reaction "I don't think so"
"And i felt fucking guilty for not telling him while he had a side bitch all along" I laughed in disbelief.
I went under his bed getting a full bottle and opening it without warning "What the fuck are you doing??"
"How long did you know about that?" I ask back, drinking straight from the bottle as he looked at me with concern then grabbed his phone going through his camere roll.
"Since last night for sure but i've been suspecting for a while. We went out together and he started making out with this girl that said she was his 'close friend' out of nowhere, i even had to uber home"
He shows me a photo where she is sitting on his lap in some photobooth at a random party.
"He thought i was too drunk to notice but they seem to go a long way, i figured you should know" He sounds calmer now, even subtly sweet "Hey go easy with that" He warns about the drink.
"Stop acting like you care" I chuckle ironically whilst standing up and he follows me "If i didn't care about you i wouldn't even have told you about this, have you thought about that?"
"If i didn't care about you i wouldn't have fought with my own brother for being a shitty boyfriend to you today" He walked towards me and i felt my limbs go numb.
"I wouldn't have you in my room when you guys would fight although i was only hurting my own feelings in return because i loved you so damn much since then"
Our faces are now inches apart, his eyes are pitch black and i couldn't breathe for a second "Did you just say you loved me?"
He goes silent again, he breaths heavily starting to walk away and i follow.
"Don't turn your fucking back on me Christopher i asked you a question, did you mean it?"
"Yeah i did but does it change shit?" He turns back around and i see his eyes getting teary "I love you and it's fucking hard cause i never loved anyone before and you don't love me back how am i supposed to feel?"
This is the most serious he has ever sound in his life and it hurts me to see how genuine his feelings are.
"But you always acted like it was no big deal when we were together. Chris, we barely even talked once we started to mess things up" I realized my bad wording once i saw him trying to hide his tears starring down the carpet.
"So that's all i was to you? Just a fucking slip huh?" his voice cracked and he turned back in a deep breath.
"Chris...listen to me" I get closer, facing him as i place my hands on his shoulder.
"Theres too much going on right now but i need you to understand that you meant- ...you mean a lot to me, you were always there for me since middle school and i always loved and admired you"
We are both tearing at this point and i see his expression softening.
"You were never just a slip, you're one of my favorite persons and i don't know what i would've done if Matt didn't introduce me to you and Nick back then and God i just-" He wipes my tears away delicately.
"You're not gonna pull the 'i wish i met you earlier' shit are you?" He jokes and i sigh in relief since this is the nicest we have been to each other in a long time.
"Im not the girl for this and you know it" i joke back and he smiles slightly "I just wish this whole thing wasn't so fucked up"
"Tell me about it, has been the main thing in my mind since the last time you were here" Chris looks at the bed then at me as if he was reminiscing.
"I missed you a lot when i left but it really thought it was for the best....if i knew this was how it would end i-"
"You would stay?" He asked seriously.
I take a minute to consider my answer, my brain still trying to sink in all the information.
"Yes....i would've stayed" We are now dangerously close, my hands around his shoulders and his are cupping my cheeks as our noses almost brush and i can feel his breath.
"So stay now" He holds me closer by my waist and i gasp at his sudden move "Be mine now, please"
And with that our faces gravitate towards each other's like it was meant to be, noses brushing and lips connected passionately.
Right here it feels so right for both of our dizzy broken hearts as we finally found the comfort we both so seeked for in others.
We sloppy moved towards the bed never breaking the kiss and soon i was on top of him while grabbing his hair.
"Do you want me to be all yours?" I asked straddling him as my hands moved to cup his cheeks.
"Thats all i need, please i want all of you" He pleaded holding my hips and i was surprised to see the change in his demeanor but that didn't mean i was fully enjoying it.
We kiss again this time more eagerly whilst our clothed hips rock against each other seeking friction "You have me, baby"
And with that Chris possessivly groans, he then trailed kisses down my neck and collarbone "I never got a chance to mark you up, now i can show everyone that you're mine, no one elses"
He explained while marking that one sweet spot which causes me to moan. My hands find their way under his shirt, my fingernails now scratching his back just as territorial as Chris and he chuckles.
"We're re such a lost cause" he mumbles as he moves to take off both our shirts.
"We so are" i chuckle getting up to remove the sweatpants i had on and he smiles.
"What? theres nothing here you haven't seen before" i joke taunting he just grabs my hips pulling me towards him.
"Its 'cause i know i will be the only one seeing this from now on"
He looks up at me as im still standing, pressing a gentle kiss on my lower stomach going down my thighs causing me to chuckle.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Chris affirmed almost immediately as his hands trailed up to remove my panties, kissing and worshiping my whole body as he did so.
It was different then any other time we had sex. It was intimate, not just two bodies but actual feelings involved still just as eager.
"What d'you want me to do princess? want me to kiss you here huh?" he kissed my inner thigh and my hands move to grab his hair as i whimpered.
"Want me to eat you out? make you cum in my tongue over and over again?" And he started doing so causing me to gasp.
"Yes... Chris! doing so good for me hm" He looks up at me lustfully flicking his tongue.
"So fucking wet for me...you have no idea how much i missed this." He groans between my legs and i whine.
"I-mhpm...I do! I missed this too fuck i missed the way you make me feel" I confess and he stops his movements suddenly getting up to kiss me again.
"Now you have me, baby and i'm not about to let you go ever again" He moves us over to the bed again, this time removing his sweatpants and underwear.
Stroking himself a feel times he hums over me "Ready?" He asked positioning between my legs.
"Wait! can you grab your phone for me baby?" I ask and he frowns confused but does it anyway handing it to me unlocked.
"Im ready now love" I smile devilishly and he does the same as he starts to push his dick inside me in deep slow thrusts, the room filled up with our moans as i sloppy try to find a specific number on his phone.
"Fuck....Chris! Right there, oh my god! Faster please please" I plea as i feel he hit the right spot clenching around him i feel him throb.
"Baby i wont last longer if you keep saying my n-name and tightening around me like that" He tilts his head back but quickly looks back at me when he hears his phone ringing.
"Don't worry about it, just lay on your back, can you do that for me?" I say before he can even think of an answer and we switch positions, me being now on top of him, sinking down my hips.
"Im going to ride you and all you have to do is be as loud as you can okay?" I start bouncing up and down and he just nods with his eyes shut feeling the pleasure.
"Matt! Finally...mhp W-where are you baby?" I say with difficulty due to my moves and I see Chris confused whisper shouts a 'what are you doing?!' and i put it on speaker.
"Im...out with friends like i told you, wait why are you calling from Chris's phone?" He asked confused and i just roll my eyes passing the phone to Chris, winking
"Hm...hey bro s-she fuck! she is busy right now but i can answer that one" He moans getting the message as i go faster and faster.
"What the fuck are you two doing? Give her the phone i wanna talk to my girlfriend" Matt says impatiently on the other side understanding what is going on
Chris presses a finger on my clit rubbing it which makes me shout his name "Your ex girlfriend is getting the treatment she deserves Matthew can you believe it? I'm so deep inside her right now she's never going back to you again, tell him baby"
He's enjoying it just as much as i am, gladly being louder as i feel my orgasm approach taking the phone back "Im s-so sorry for your side bitch...she will never get to cum like im about to right now" i hear him yelling that he's coming back home and with that i hang up.
Chris is half sitting to get support to thrust up now meeting my motions, he gives special attention to my boobs making me squeeze him inside me and our orgasms hit almost at the same time
His mouth hovered over my neck going to my earlobe were we bites and whispers.
"Such exhibitionists aren't we?"
We laughed, i lie on top of him whilst he brushed his fingers over my hair. After a while he carries me to his bathroom and clean us up.
Once we are back at his bed he hands me one of his favorite shirts and holds me tight, his arm pulling me closer.
"That's the first time im actually staying in" I comment smiling at our fingers intertwined.
"Get used to it 'cause you're never leaving"
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princesssmars · 1 year
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bakery babe
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a vi x reader
you asked vi why she doesnt use more pet names with you. you then start to regret it.
a/n: lets go sapphics. but fr i love her and her tag is dry but getting better but i need to contribute this stupid idea. the idea of vi bringing those back breakers home is funny.
contains: mostly fluff with some spice/nsfwish in the end (they makeout and alludes to them taking a trip to pound town). me being a simp. vi being a simp. YOU being a simp. enjoy.
(f/d) - fave drink | (f/s) - fave snack
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"why do you only call me babe?"
vi's head perks up at your question. youd both been in the living room of your small apartment on the edge of piltover and zaun, big enough for the two of you but still nice and cozy. it was a day off for vi from her job securing both of the cities safety, and youd decided to just spend it together in each others company at home. it’d been silent in your living room while you read and she cleaned off her gauntlets until your question.
throughout your entire relationship, vi had only called you “babe”. you didn't have a problem with or the way it sounded especially because her voice was gorgeous but that's not the point, but you knew she was a giant flirt and a general tease. she called caitlyn “captain cupcake”, she still liked to tease jayce by calling him "pretty boy"; she had multiple nicknames for everyone. so the singular one for you made you wonder.
the other woman's brow raised. “i don't understand. does it make you uncomofrtable? do you not like me calling you babe?”
“no, no, i do!” you raised your hands, waving them quickly in front of you, “it's just that's the...only pet name you use. i thought after hearing you with others you'd be more…creative, i guess.”
her eyes widen and a smile graces her face. “more...creative, huh? yeah, i can do that.”
good god.
strike one
about two weeks later, you found yourself in the kitchen cooking a somewhat complicated dinner for you and your lover. these past few days vi had been working extra hours at the department after some of silco’s old goons started causing trouble in the undercity. which was horrible because of the harm they were causing to innocent people, of course, but also because your poor girlfriend came home at such late hours in the night looking exhausted. you insisted she take some more days off or work less hours, but vi was nothing if not hardheaded.
so, knowing she wouldnt back down on working hard, it was only right you did this nice thing for her. hell, you even went down to jerichos' to ask him for the recipes for vi's favorite dishes.
a while into cooking, you hear the familiar sounds of the front door closing and the atlas gauntlets falling in place on the floor. the sound of vi’s heavy footsteps move towards you until you feel her strong arms wrap around your stomach, her face resting on your shoulder. you briefly move a hand to brush through her hair, making her hum. “rough day again?”
she groans loudly, smiling when you laugh at her. “when is it not a rough day at this point? i swear it's like every damn hour I have to deal with some stuck-up piltie who thinks im too stupid to help or an asshole zaunite who thinks im just a traitor or a liar,” she sighs. as she talks, you continue cooking the dinner while listening to her rant about her day. “and then I nearly got in trouble for telling some asshole at the precinct off! he's lucky I didn't kick his ass. but whatever, it's over now. i'm just glad to be here with you, sweetheart.”
you stopped stirring. “sweetheart?”
vi paused then laughed behind you, gripping onto you tighter. “well-yeah, you said I wasn't creative enough, so i'm trying stuff out. what do you think?”
you turn from the dinner to face her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders and looking into your girlfriend's pretty blue eyes as she looks at you oh so lovingly. “i think it's cute. i love it. use it more.”
“im glad you like it, sweets” she smiles, laughing at your demand and then moving to kiss your cheeks and your lips before turning you back to the stove. “so, whats for dinner?”
strike two
you and vi were walking around the market in piltover, looking for some new clothes and furniture for your home. it was a warm sunny day, and sometimes you caught vi stopping and basking in the sunlight. growing up in the lanes, day and night were almost interchangeable thanks to the altitude, but now that she spent most of her time outside and not in a cell, the pink haired girl blossomed. the cutest part was how her freckles had grown in numbers and darkened in color.
after walking, observing, and buying things for a few hours, vi tugs your arm to sit on a stool at a pop-up cafe, waiting for one of the workers behind the counter to become available to you. you're just glad to be off of your aching feet for a moment, finding comfort in vi holding your hands in hers.
" 'm sorry we've been walking for so long. theres just so much i want to get here." vi apologizes, bringing your hands up to her mouth to press kisses on to them.
you beam at her soft words and actions. "its fine, shortcake. i know you didnt get to buy much when you and pow were younger. our walls n shelves are a bit bare, so get whatever knick-knacks you want."
vi's scarred lips turn up into an appreciative smile before she cups your cheeks and presses kisses onto them, smiling even harder at your giggles. she was such a pda lover, but what could she say? you were a catch, and she loved to show you off.
"hi! can i get you two anything?" a cheery voice pips up from your right, making your love pull away from you to face the barista.
"hello. i'll just take a coffee, but my lil pumpernickel here will take a (f/d) and a (f/s), thank you."
vi, like the little shit she is, casually turns her head back to you after placing your order. as your expression grows more and more confused she struggle to contain her amusement.
"p...pumpernickel? are you serious? what does that...thats just bread!"
"yeah but it sounds cute, right?"
strike three
the way you fell for this girls charms were unreal. itd scare you if it didnt pay off in the best ways.
before this youd both been out with friends, enjoying yourselves in a booth at the last drop. the night was filled with stories from your younger days, friendly teasing, and laughter. but as the hours ticked on and the drinks kept coming, you noticed that vi became more flirtatious and teasing, whispering in your ear and raising her hand slowly up your thigh.
all of that led you to now, pressed againt the door of your apartment with a very eager vi pressing into your front while pressing wet kisses on your neck.
"mmhh..v-vi, baby, lets move this to the bedroom, yeah?" you whimper, dually pressing your hands on her shoulders to push her off and pull her in closer.
she hums, squeezing her arms tight against your waist. "hmm, i dont know, hun. i think we should stay riiight here. we wanted to christen every part of the house, remember?"
"god, youre a pervert." you groan, partly in due to playful annoyance and partly because she literally bit you on the most sensitive part of your neck. when you turn your head to reprimand her she captures your lips in a heated kiss.
her kiss is all consuming, causing your legs to feel weak and your brain dizzy. shes taking all of you, and youd gladly give her anything and everything.
she pulls away, her eyes still closed as she pants to catch her breath. "fuck, you taste so damn good, muffin."
you involuntarily let out a small moan, causing both of your eyes to widen.
after a few seconds, vi starts to smirk.
"so, its muffin, huh?"
"oh my god, shut up." you groan, going to lean your head on the door before you feel her rough hand grip your chin to look at her.
"nuh uh, im gonna have a lot of fun with this. god, i shouldve tried calling you this weeks ago if i knew itd make you sound like that."
you sigh, feeling slightly embarassed but admittedly more turned on. you hated it and loved it at the same time. "are we gonna do something orr are you just gonna tease me all night, you jerk?"
the brawler laughs to herself, quickly moving her arms below your ass and on your thighs so you can wrap your legs around her waist.
"dont worry, muffin, i plan on eating every bit of you tonight."
lets just youre. really glad you asked that question.
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so many italics. so much horny. what is wrong with me no one look at me.
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druidshollow · 3 months
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I love dune but dune manipulating fire by making him villainize descent makes me so sad.. my girl descent is trying her best, she never did anything wrong in her life ever actually
its really fucking sad man. the odds are so entirely stacked against her, she had to be careful what she said and did because flowers' position meant he could just take entire control of the kids situation whenever he wanted. she wanted to protect fire and rivers so badly, but if she fought flowers she could lose her access to them and then theyd be alone with him
this was a much larger problem after they split up and fire was gone. she wanted to protect rivers from flowers, who was repeatedly expressing reluctance to go with him, but she was afraid of flowers retorting by demanding full custody. i think ive said this before but i dont think flowers even particularly wanted rivers around. it was more something he could hold over her head, something he knew she felt threatened by and couldnt do anything about. i cant help but wonder if he gained some satisfaction in knowing that descent could tell rivers was being abused but couldnt safely stop it. see this is what i meant earlier when i was saying that he gets worse every time i write for him its so grRRRRRRRR
anyways FIRE. fire. yeah i think fire expressed missing his mom pretty often when he first got to the divide. dune felt threatened by this and wanted to assure that fire wouldnt go back to his family. how else to achieve this but to alienate fire from his family? on a surface level her logic is almost understandable; if your mother was concerned with the abuse in her home why did she never take you guys away? kids arent stupid but they are very impressionable. i dont think at the equivalent age of an 11 year old (fucking Yikes btw) that fire would have fully understood the power dynamics at play in his family. dune knew flowers was high council. she knew, at least to some extent, that the situation would have been very difficult for descent to navigate, but it suited her narrative better if she left those nuances out and instead made fire's mother out to be uncaring and inactive
i think dune did a lot of listening to fire at first, rather than guiding things. she wanted to understand the dynamics at play here before she began twisting the narrative, and she also wanted to give fire the impression that she was somebody safe to come to with his problems and feelings. the more she learned, the safer she felt twisting things
have this doodle of descent and rivers i coughed up tonight. saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad guys. the flowers effect
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meraxesmoon · 4 months
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Ok, but... What exactly did alicent do wrong tho... Why do people hate her (in the show ppl calm down)
Her being married to viserys was ottos doing ... She didnt have a choice she was a girl who was manipulated by her own father...
Her attacking luke was because he maimed aemond... If my son lost an eye i wouldnt stop until the person who maimed him was dead
"but lucerys was a child" SO WAS AEMOND, and he has to live with the loss of an eye
And lucerys didnt even feel bad... He was laughing when the pig was served at the table at the feast years later
The only thing that you can get her with is not being a very good mother, that i accept but blaming her for defending HER SON... girl...
Now in the book...
I do think shes mother... She such a complex character shes flawed but understands her mistakes... Dont get me wrong she is still mean and vengefull to people she deems as enemies but she has more of a heart than cersei lannister (despite some people trying to say that she is the version of cersei in hotd)
Idk... Some people just see the targaryens as superior beings and skip over their faults because they have dragons and are cooler to watch
I do think rhaenyra is the heir to the throne... But that doesnt mean that she has to be likeable to someone... Or that team black is better because she has dragons... If they werent evenly matched the war wouldnt be one of the most memorable in weteros for years to come
Im sorry for the rant... But im just tired of every team black member calling her alicunt...like... Are you twelve?
Yeah, people like to call Rhaenyra this feminist in Westerosi history, but it's just not true (at least if you believe some of the accounts in the book). Rhaenyra stans are like very extreme about her, and as a joke, that's fine, but most of them are dead serious.
I recently saw a post on TikTok that said the Driftmark scene was just Rhaenyra being a victim, and that's the most chronically online thing I've seen in a while. If you really sit down and think about it, Alicent had every reason to snap. Like, I love Rhaenyra, but she really was getting away with murder. Like, she had three illegitimate children, obviously, and just expected everyone to act like they weren't bastards.
People also say that it doesn't matter that Rhaenyra's children are illegitimate because she's heir to the throne. That makes ZERO sense, especially if you think about how that's treason and against the laws of Westeros. Alicent has every reason to feel bitter and upset about Rhaenyra pulling wool over everyone's eyes.
As for Alicent in the book, I really like her as well. Unlike Alicent in the show, she is in a huge position of power. A lot of people don't realize that she ruled ten times longer than Rhaenyra and Aegon combined. She wasn't this small little pawn being used like she is in the show. I adore both versions, but book Alicent is such a boss ass bitch! Despite her coldness and brutal behavior towards the Blacks, Alicent loves her kids so much in the books. Like, she places her own crown on Helaena's head after Aegon is crowned, she has a lot of faith in her sons, and the fact that Helaena and her children visit Alicent visit her every night before bed definitely says something about how Alicent was with her children.
Alicent in the book is pretty young when she marries Viserys, not as young as in the show. I feel like she was still sort of a victim of Otto, even in the book, but she ends up taking power into her hands because she wants to protect her children.
Notice how the people who hate Alicent would like her a lot if she was in any other type of series. They just don't like her because she's going against Rhaenyra.
Targaryen supremacists are so fucking annoying! If Alicent were a Targaryen woman they wouldn't have a problem with her, and Visenya Targaryen is a prime example of their hypocrisy (she literally usurped Aegon's son lol).
I'm Alicent's biggest defender, and I'll stay that way <3
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LIKE LOOK
SHE JUST WANTS TO PROTECT HER CHILDREN
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marvelita85 · 1 year
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18+ dont read it if you are not an adult, I really have a soft spot for Aegon I know who he is but there is a reason for him being the way he is
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- do you love me?...
- what? .... why are you asking me that?
- please Visenya... answer me... - you saw the tears in his eyes, you knew no one show him love, just the whores he looked for in the silk street, the wine he drank to numb his feelings because you likes it or not Aegon and Aemond were unwanted children at least from your grandfather who didnt care about them and their mother Alicent who only show some love to her 3rd born Aemond and even you loved Aemond more and you wished to be married with him instead of Aegon, throught the time of you as a married couple you started to understand how much love he was denied and how much he needed from you
- how can I love you Aegon, when you show me no love yourself, I wished not to be married with you but thats something I cant change
- you love my brother... why?
- Aemond was my choise, you ended being my husband because you were the oldest son, but you show me this marriage is irrelevant for you
- is not... I wish the world for you
- but you still go and get drunk, you lose yourself in the streets of kingslanding whoring around, I only seek refuge in someone who could listen to me to enjoy my company and yes that is your brother
- I could make you suffer both of you for adultery
- but you wont, because if you want me to be like I am with Aemond with you, you will do anything I want for that to happend - Aegon knew you were right, the only think he wanted was for you to treated him with the same love you showed Aemond all the time
- please Visenya...
- shh Aegon... I am right here... - you carresed his naked form making him lied down in his bed and sat between his legs, you smile as he close his eyes moaning your name, your hands were in his chest - tell me what do you want?
- I want to be inside you... - you were soaking wet and you felt him hard in your leg, you pushed his hands above his head and hold them there with one of your hands and the other hold and press his throat making him opened his eyes in horror... he thought you were going to kill him but you only press with the right forze as you moved on top of him - if you want me to love you like now, you will have to stop being a whore and start being a prince - you gasped as you felt your walls closed around him, you let go of his neck and entwine your hands pressing your breasts to his chest, Aegon sat down kissing you so passionally hugging your form to him as he come inside you
- I dont mind if I have to share you with Aemond but dont leave me alone...
- I wont... you are my husband Aegon, Im just asking you to respect me as your wife and I'll give you my love
You didnt promise to stop seeing Aemond the younger prince didnt have a problem being your lover for now, and the prince under you wanted your love, you had both Alicent children under your spell and Helaena wouldnt mind to be part for the blacks, Daemon wanted to kill them but Rhaenyra convinced him to let you worked from the inside
You felt for Aegon too, what has started as a sacrifice to help your side of the family, you realised he was kind and cared about you, Aegon was always looking your price and aproval, everything he looked foward in his mother and was never given
he was the way he was for a reason, Alicent always manipulated him and show no love for him, not the way she felt about Aemond, Aegon only meant a male heir to get on the throne but the boy was sweet and caring but those feelings were shown only to you, he beg for atention and love he was touch starved in so many ways you just wanted to showed him and Aemond they mattered too
I got this idea both brothers falling for the same girl who happends to be their niece, Targaryens ans their ways I know
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roseworth · 6 months
Text
hey <3 heres what i think of every scene that rosenberg has written with rose
disclaimer: most of this is me being very nitpicky. rose was a side character for all of these appearances so obv i understand that its not gonna be perfect characterization. but i rly like talking about rose characterization so this is just me pulling apart her appearances for fun <3
ok lets go
overall
i LOVE the jason & rose dynamic. im not much of a jayrose fan but since its happening im glad that its like this. i love that its so much "rose is excessively horny and jason is giving her nothing" bc its so in character for both of them. shes fucking with him and he does not know how to reciprocate. they r so sillies
HOWEVER. rose would not just hang around him like shes doing. as much as i like that dynamic i feel like he also has to at least sometimes show that hes. you know. interested in having her around. shes just kinda tagging along and i wish there was a reason why she would put up with him never giving her anything, especially since she has a tendency to leave at the first sign of not being wanted
on a completely different note, im a little disappointed that shes wearing her old costume instead of the new one she has in btbatb/kt ravager. i appreciate that shes still drawn like an adult but i rly like her new costume so im sad that she doesnt have it
man who stopped laughing #9
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STRONG start. beats up a bunch of cops, then right after she appears she does her stupid flirting thing then immediately says that she doesnt want to associate with the batfamily. queen.
not to mention right before this is my fav failgirl moment where she goes through her whole plan to crash the car and break jason out of prison. then just goes up and knocks on the door
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flips the car over then walks up and says "hey its the fire department. open up" and not a single person believes her. i love her
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lesbian rose crumbs <3 i still choose to believe shes talking about cass here idc. shes so silly and this was a cute lil panel
so yeah. she was on one page of this issue but that one page was great and i love her
mwsl #10
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shes so lame <3 i talked about this moment a lot when this issue first released but i love it. "somebody had all the fun without us" upon finding a body, then realizing someone else was there and just. starts shooting. she doesnt hit anything. she doesnt even know where the other person is.
my big problem here is that she does not carry a gun and pretty much never uses guns. honestly now that im thinking about it this is one of the only times shes ever used a gun on panel (the other times i can think of being: shooting wade off a cliff after her mom died, shooting starfire in n52 outlaws (but new 52 rose barely even counts as rose), and using deathstroke's gun when she was pretending to be him in deathstroke 2016)
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shes not anti-gun or anything but it still bothers me just a little that suddenly she has a gun (hence why i fully believe she stole jasons gun <3)
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if i want to nitpick, kate should not have been able to hit her. rose should've seen she was coming wayyy before (bc precog) and she wouldnt be knocked down from one hit. i fear we are headed down a path of her becoming jasons incompetent girlfriend but i wont be too dramatic about her getting hit one (1) time
but other than that i thought this was a fun moment of rose getting hit then jason immediately fighting the person that hit her. toxic girlbesties fr
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then also her needing to be held back after she gets up so she doesnt start attacking the person thats helping them <3 i love her
mwsl #11
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this is a nice issue for her just because in true rose tradition she LOVES to have homoerotic fights with every other female character she interacts with. the kate & rose dynamic was soooo fun i love it when shes mean to people for no reason <3
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i did not like this part though. i feel like there are a lot of implications about rose here that are unfair to her character & her place in the dcu. i'll meet the book on its own terms and say that we're only talking about post-52 rose (blah blah everything's canon rn but this book is very clearly not using pre-52 rose lore) but even then? theres no real reason for her to be ducking superheroes or for superheroes to keep an eye on her. shes not a villain or even much of a killer, the fact that shes "staying off the radars" of good guys doesnt make much sense. and the fact that kate knows her and "studies" her (fellas is it gay to study another woman despite never meeting her) implies that rose is like. a threat. shes just kind of around there is no reason kate should know her like that
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cute moment! but also it bothers me. i think its fun that she refused to go since its not her fight and she doesnt want to get into a joker mess. HOWEVER. when has she ever in her life passed up an opportunity to get involved in someone elses problem. to me she wouldnt have even delivered the list of addresses without a fight if she wasnt gonna go along
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other than her using a gun again (where the hell did she even get that) i like this <3 her showing up and saving manhunter after she said she didnt care what happened is so her. also i just like the fact that she shot joker
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gay gay homosexual gay
the rest of this issue is fun <3 just kate & rose fighting together then getting blown up together <3 this was a nice issue for her despite the problems i had with it
gotham war red hood #2
gotham war break!!!
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okay first of all i LOVE that he took her along. there was no reason for rose to be here but jason was told to meet someone and said "ok ill go but my weird friend comes with me" its so funny
ive seen a lot of people complain about the "you're my only friend" line but i LOVE it. not necessarily because she doesnt have any friends but because she would not in a million years ADMIT that she has friends. she would rather be shot in the head than say that she actually likes the people that she hangs out with.
but to be fair.... she also doesnt have friends. "what about the lazarus island gang?" the only person she actually liked there and showed any friendship toward was damian, and they ARE friends but she considers him more of a little brother than a friend. "what about the teen titans??" a) she would NEVER admit that she is friends with any of them b) its technically.... not really canon that she was ever on the same team as them. like i said before, im meeting this book on its terms, and rose being a teen titan hasnt been mentioned since flashpoint :( i wont go on a whole tangent about her friends but given that she hasnt really made a friend in years and never talks to anyone else, i think its fair for her to say that she has no friends
so yeah all this to say: she has friends, but it is 100% in character for her to say that she has no friends. i stand by this line
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i dont have much to say here i just think shes so cute <3 i also love the fact that jason jumped straight to "rose is robbing a dead person" instead of "rose is inspecting the body"
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but im OBSESSED with the fact that she DOES rob him. i feel like we're not talking about this enough. she saw a dead body and took his money. im not even mad about it because its so fucking funny to me
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im sorry jay/rose fans this makes me want to vomit. this feels too "earnest emotions" for both of them. the rest of this scene was fine but this panel specifically feels so :/
"i just need help" "always" and "please take care of yourself" and "meet at our spot" "promise?" "i promise" does not feel like them at all. its a very sweet and genuine moment but they would NOT have sweet and genuine moments! neither of them would ever express their feelings and they would not have this conversation
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this does not feel like rose at all idk who this is. where is the rage!!!!!! where is the anger!!!!!!! why did she stand there for hours just. worried about him. why isnt she lashing out
comparing this to the scene in tt03 where she's worried about eddie:
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she gets angry! shes worried about him and starts yelling at everyone around her because hes hurt and she doesnt know whats happening. i would have LOVED this energy in this book and its sooooo disappointing that she just. stands there like 🥺 when she doesnt know what happened to jason
mwsl #12
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i rly liked this part fhdkjfhakjdfd i thought her pretending to be him just to get batman out of the way was so good and so real. shes helping out AND fucking with batman
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very minor complaint here but this isnt even true . she DOES try to run into him in ds16 when slade kidnaps damian and rose gives bruce the ransom terms. also i feel like this line is vaguely implying that she HAS found him (/he found her) on accident before which is also not true given that their only interactions are in ds16 and being in the same general area in shadow war. and also reiterating that shes not a villain so batman has no reason to track her down or cause problems for her but. whatever. this is entirely just me jumping to conclusions about what this one throwaway line means and then getting mad about it
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LOVE this. she inserted herself into the situation then complains about it. this isnt her business and shes making sure that jason knows it. but also she completely volunteered for most of this
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BOOOOOOOO she would not fucking say that. "sorry about that whole chase" no she would not apologize. "please dont kick my ass" she would NOT say that!!!!! first of all given that this is after gotham war she would probably kick his ass just for what he did to jason. even besides that she would not be afraid of him even a little. comparing their convo in ds16 #5 to this is so sad bc </3 why is she afraid of him instead of being a huge bitch and yelling at him
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this ending is really good for her though. she absolutely would dive into the water with joker gas, trash, and dead bodies just to save her friend <3
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this is more like it!!!!!!!! shes worried for him and takes initiative to save him by jumping in the water despite it being a very dangerous decision and then insults him while she saves his life <3333 its a tiny bit more of her being mean to express worry which is nice <3 its not perfect but its closer
in conclusion: there are many good moments. there are many parts i like about it. but there are just so many things that dont feel like rose </3 most of the broad strokes are there but it just doesnt feel like her when shes not full of rage and going out of her way to piss people off
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runningfrom2am · 2 months
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“After the games, it would be so easy to point the finger at you and call you dangerous and insane.” MY GIRL IS THE LEAST DANGEROUS ONE IN DISTRICT 12- HOW DARE THEY!! (unless she has “salt”, i can’t really blame her)
“you didn’t have much of a choice if you wanted to live.” hmm, isn’t that just the best?
i mean this in the most affectionate way possible, i love seeing coryo blaming himself for things that happened to her when he was only partially responsible.
she went from treating coryo as coriolanus to treating herself as coriolanus and i love that.
she really has all the plays memorised, hasn’t she?
sejanus, my beloved <3 he will never get the jokes and the quotes but that’s okay. in his defense, how was he supposed to know that referencing and talking about plays help her?
“Okay, now, this is the hard part.” [that “what do you mean?!” jennifer lawrence video]
“Political Science” disappointed but not surprised.
on one hand i know lennox learning that his sister is leaving for capitol with coryo would be a problem even though he’s more likely to understand the reason why, on the other he didn’t get to say goodbye 🥲🥲.
she didn’t include cole to her thoughts about mayfair and billy taupe- i seriously need to know what happened with him.
lucy gray crying for billy taupe is making me emotional for some reason. she didn’t deserve that.
coryo, for the love of god, please stop progressing the games in moments of panic. please.
well, money solves everything.
hiiii bestie i’ve missed you!! (sorry again ab your phone btw omg)
1. SHE’S LITERALLY THE SWEETEST LIKE THEY WOULDNT DARE (but commander hoff absolutely would if they couldn’t find anyone else to blame, it would either be coryo and spruce bc fingerprints or HER, and coryo couldn’t have either as an option)
2. story of her damn life at this point 🥲
3. no bc ME TOO. he keeps flipping on it too bc he’s like “yeah i kinda ruined your life but now at least we have each other, right?” and it’s the sweetest and scariest thing (for both of them). once again, i feel bad for him 😔
4. SHE TOTALLY HAS OH MY GODDD. like babe pls for just a moment consider that things you can’t control are not your fault 🥺
5. literally and apparently i have such a thing for writing r with a near photographic memory, i.e ‘in this life or the next’, the entire concept of this series too,,, omg idk what it is i just love it it’s so fun
6. sejanus is just trying his best HAHAHA. he’s like “okay so as far as i know we’re in a bit of a rush… why are we telling confusing jokes?”
he’ll get it someday, just that day is not today hahaha
7. BAHAHAHA NO LITERALLY
8. yeah 😔 my apologies but he literally only has one goal in life and when coryo sees something he wants, he’s gonna have it.
9. LENNOX BABYYYY
listen,, i had a large internal battle about whether or not he would wake up this was SO hard to decide, but i do think he literally would have put himself in the way of her getting on that train and it would have ended very badly for all of them. but don’t worry, she’ll write them every day :) (will he respond? that’s another question. i feel like it will take him a while to not be angry)
10. the good news is you’ll find out in the next part 🤪
11. okay thank you bc i can’t honestly see lucy gray being like “im done with his cheating ass fr” and then being genuinely unmoved by his death. she talked a big game, but even when she said that r knew that it wasn’t true. he was so much more than an ex to her and i think that’s a little glossed over in the movie
12. THE WORST PART IS HES SO GOOD AT IT LMAO. he literally does it again in a future chapter i’ve already written lol
13. sejanus is like *sigh* “if it works, it works.”
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madwomansapologist · 1 year
Note
Can I request “being TGP Michael’s soulmate would Include”? Tysm! :)
- 👻
being Michael Realman soulmate would include
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Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Michael | AO3
synopsis: At The Good Place, the real truly Good Place, Michael thought that his life was finally perfect. When he meet you he realized that it couldn't be perfect because he didn't knew you yet.
warnings: a important theme on the last season is how there is not a soulmate, but just someone that you choose to love. i like to do those soulmate!au and will not stay totally loyal to the canon if that its not funny to me. if it was about a human i could totally make a "you are soulmates because of Michael's evil torture plan", like i did to Eleanor, but not to a immortal character because it wouldnt make sense to me.
ps: I love writing for that fandom! Thanks for your request dear reader, hope you like it!
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• Michael spend his whole life, what means way more than the average, resolving problems. The afterlife is boring to demons? Okay, he found a solution. Wait. Those humans seens to always reazlize they are in The Bad Place? Calm down, calm down, he got a solution. Humans can actually evolve into greater beings? Michael know what to do. The Good Place is actually The Boring Place? You know who will solve it, just give him some time
• And then... no more problems. At least not big ones. It was just what he expect from paradise. A place where he could finally breath in. He could finally live, instead of just trying to survive. Michael thought he had everyhing he wanted
• The gentle bell announced a new resident.
• Your life was... You were kind to others. You did horrible things. You were truthful. You lied. You loved with your body and soul. You hated with all your heart. You experienced so much fun. Your life was so boring. Your legacy was warm and gentle. Your legacy was cold and rough. After all you lived, you were just like the very next person: someone that wronged and did hurtful things, but someone who also did the right thing and was lovely towards others. You were constantly trying, and that was enough
• After some time, you passed to The Good Place. You were someone who deserved to be there. In the first week you didn't even sleep. It wasn't great: it was amazing! A candy had the asnwer to what Twin Peaks really was. Magic doors took you to whatever place you wanted. Julius Cesar was such a nice guy. Princess Diana was so kind, as everyone expect. Robin Williams was brilliant. You met your great-grandfather! And his great-grandfather! And then you heard about the group that made everything possible, those people that saved the entire human population from a eternity of suffering
• When you discovered that Chidi Anagonye had a reading group, you knew that it was your chance. He was such a sweet guy, so gentle and caring. Eleanor Shellstrop helped you with your journey through philosophy. Didn't take much for you two to became friends
• Eleanor invited you to a party organized by Tahani Al-Jamil. She looked like what every celebrity want to be. Someone who would win a Tony, a Oscar, a Bafta, a Grammy and a Nobel in the same year. There you met Jason. Jacksonville! His heart was something you couldn't understand. Jason was so smart, but in a emotional way that opened your eyes. And the humanity of his lovely wife intrigued you. Janet was... perfect. In a way that no human or robot could ever be. She was simply perfect
• You wanted to met Michael, the demon that made everything possible. You had learn that 'demon' was a bad term, it was just difficult to stop using. It looks like he was doing something with Judge Gen. Although you don't really get who she is, it appeared important
• The group finished reading Anna Karênina. On paradise, an eight hundred pages book is something that everyone had the time to read. You tried it once when you were alive, but you didn't make it to the first hundred pages. Now, you did it in one week
• Chidi guided the discussion about the mishaps and turmoil of those two families. Someone, probably Freud, talked about how the very last scene of Anna and the birth of Kitty's child was a Tolstoy's attempt of punishing the female leads that wronged someone during the book. Jane Austen wouldn't stop talking about how Vronsky was a dipshit lover if Tolstoy didn't agree with her
• When it was your turn to give your opinion, you didn't even heard the door opening. Your view of how the motifs, mainly the candle, and how it repeats itself in different ways for Ana and Vronsky were your focous. For him it was a bad memory, for her it was her destiny. Submerged in your line of reasoning, you only notice him because of Chidi's voice
"Want to be part of the conversation?" Chidi asked when you finished your sentence. "I saw you reading it once, would you like to contribute?"
You turned your head to the place Chidi was looking at. The gray-haired man in a matching suit, shrugged his shoulders with a excited little smile on his face. "Do you have space for me here?"
"We always have, Mikey-boy", Eleanor tapped the sit next to her. "My new friend was talking about the candle motif, what do you think about it?"
"The candle motif, we all seen it", Michael turned his body in Eleanor's direction and followed her gaze to the new resident. And when he locked eyes with you, Michael wasn't able to talk anymore. Either were you.
Michael felt a storm inside him. His heart was jumping on his chest. His lungs didn't work anymore. His voice was nothing but a weak memory. His muscles turned into soft jellys.
You burned. Your eyes didn't work anymore, almost like some kind of smoke appeared in front of them. Your toes were shaking but you didn't even notice. You dropped the book on the floor, but the sound was muted.
While Michael eyes shine on emerald, yours turned into a lilac light.
"I am sorry", meanwhile looking at you, Michael were talking to everyone else on the room. He walked your way and grab your hand. You stand up, unable to do anything but to stay with him. "But that stupid book can wait."
You followed Michael, using one of the magic doors to get to a better place. You didn't droop his hand, you only hold it harder.
"God think my book is stupid?" Tolstoy asked when the door closed, tears glowing on his eyes. "What did I do wrong?"
"For the last time," said Marilyn Monroe. "He is not a god."
• Michael wouldn't care if the world end up right now. Either would you.
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GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink
THE GOOD PLACE TAGLIST: @suakemii @notanalienindisguiseblink
Feedback/reblogs would be greatly appreciated! Support your content creators! Likes are appreciated, but comments and reblogs are golden!  
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
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thyandrawrites · 1 year
Note
Your post replying to the 'what would Touya be like if he stayed home' made me shed a tear lol, ur metas are so good I cant describe it😭 anyway in that post you said something on the lines of 'the family did love him as much(as he did)'. Is that just referring to Enji, or the whole family in general? And the line after saying that if they did the abuse would have stopped, Clearly the kids wouldnt be able to do much on their own, so was that just the case in Touya's point of view? If to Touya his family didnt love him as much as he loved them, how do you suppose in the present they(Rei,natsuo and fuyumi, Maybe enji?) could start to show him that they do love him? This is all in the case that Horikoshi reunites them permanently which I'm pretty confident will happen at this point. Sorry for the long ask😭 Ik the wording is messy, so dont feel you have to answer this! Have a nice rest of your day!
thank you so much for reading and enjoying my meta!
To answer you, while I think the weight of the abuse rests solely on Enji and Rei, I also think that the whole family contributed to making Touya out to be a bad sheep. Like, I was mostly talking about Enji and Rei, who both admitted to neglecting him and not even looking at him. Enji most obviously so as he never made time for him and turned him down every time Touya asked to be followed during training. But Rei too, who canonically played favourites and ended up acting more like a loving mother to Shouto than she ever did to her other three kids.
But I was discussing it as a family issue because all of them more or less act on the example that the parents (mainly Enji) set out. In the fam dynamic, Touya used to be the problem child, the one who couldn't just take his issues elsewhere or swallow down his unhappiness for the sake of pretending to be a real family. We are shown tiny glimpses of this, and not just on the parents' side.
Fuyumi for example doesn't understand why Touya cannot give up his training, and though she speaks from a place of love and worry, the underlining implication is that Touya would be happier if he just stopped causing his own problems. Which is, you know, an oversimplification. While it's true that stopping the self-harming training would improve Touya's overall wellbeing, it also wouldn't cancel out the fact that Touya's psychological distress is caused by Enji's neglect. And please don't take this as Fuyumi hate because I love her and I'm her self-appointed defense lawyer, but. Obviously as a child she didn't fully understand that she was unconsciously blaming the wrong person for Touya's unhappiness, but her words clearly made Touya feel even more alone and misunderstood. He took them as condescension, as Fuyumi not being on his side, as her thinking he should "stop" like his father constantly also told him to. That was obviously not Fuyumi's intention, but it was what Touya heard all the same.
Then there's Natsuo, who was Touya's sole confidante. That time when Touya wakes him up to vent to him, Natsuo is tired and wants to sleep, not listen to his brother's complaints. But when he tells Touya to go to Fuyumi, Touya feels as though Natsuo finds him a burden too and cries that he's telling him to, and I quote, "buzz off, too." Of course, brushing him off once while sleepy doesn't mean Natsuo didn't love him, or didn't want to listen to him, but it contributes to making Touya feel like the concerns he raises about the family aren't heard. That Natsuo, too, just wants Touya to shut up and move on or to find someone else to talk to. The reaction we see from Touya is heartbroken, and that's probably because he's equating Natsuo washing his hands of his brother to the way their parents washed theirs of dealing with Touya's moods. Just like how Enji and Rei wanted him to be a "normal" boy who made friends and moved on, in that moment Natsuo posed like someone who wanted his brother to just leave him alone and talk to someone else. To just... Quit being so difficult all the time.
Of course, just like Fuyumi's case, it goes without saying that this isn't the case. Natsuo was eight and he couldn't have done anything more to ease his brother's pain at the time. But his siblings were still part of a dysfunctional family, and as such, they sometimes repeated the patterns they saw from their parents, and that contributed to Touya's overall isolation. By virtue of the fact that no one except Touya himself ever aimed any criticism Enji's way, but instead treated the eldest like the real problem, they were perpetrating Enji's scapegoating pattern.
Even now, as adults, they have all yet to realize that they're still doing the same thing. By treating Dabi like the bad sheep of the family, someone on whose behalf to apologize (Rei), someone to fight (Enji), or someone whose messes to clean up and bring back home (Natsuo and Fuyumi), they're all still repeating the same dysfunctional patterns without even realizing. That's why I've always thought that they cannot heal so long as they don't stop aiming the blame at the right man. Enji. And ask him to clean up his act.
But you ask how can they start showing that they do love Touya (unconditionally, I want to add). Well. If they stopped scapegoating him, that would be an excellent start imho.
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postalollie · 1 year
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What are ur favorite things about pdude :) any of them and what do think dating one would be like 😳
OO HI!! SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE!!
In general I love the fact hes a morally grey character that in general doesnt seems to care for what other think of him! (except if hes wearing a gimp suit obviously lol) and his smugness as well, for postal 2 dude I love his colors! theyre more dull which for me fits his character really well and I try to do that in my art of him as well (though Ive been slacking more on that aspect lol) his design in general is just so nice to look and memorable too, its simple but effective, peak character design right there and I dont even mean it as a joke I genuinely think his design is super good, and most importantly THE GLASSES!! I like drawing him with his eyes showing but when he has the sunglasses is where the fun is at, because it kinda brings a surprise factor to him, his colors are more died down but then you see his eyes and BAM!! green! of course theyre not too bright as to match with his other colors but still bright enough for him to have some contrast and bring some surprise to the player!
Now for p1 dude, I once again love his color scheme, I love red so its fun to look at him, even with just his limited model on the original postal you can see a lot of stuff in his design which is very impressive! I love his fingerless gloves and his sweater vest as well/shirt he wears on the gone postal cover, also...long hair...pretty.. ALSO his design with the red coat and green vest! I dont usually see it being drawn (I personally do prefer to draw the red and black version because I prefer that color scheme but the other is still quite good and I wanna draw it someday!) idk his design is just once again very cool to me
NOW FOR THE DATING PART OwO (sorry if these are hard to understand im very bad with writing and most of my fantasies rarely follow a story or a very strict personality to them lol)
for p2 I imagine it would be more difficult for him to "open up" I guess, he would start pretty closed off like he is in the game, even when hes interested in you hes still kinda closed off, with stuff like flirty interactions the thing he can do best because hes more in control, show that man some genuine affection and he wouldnt know how to take it (show that man love no one in paradise apreciates him >:( ) he would probably blue screen a bit from affection, however slowly he would start getting used it and start showing a bit more as well, you would just need to be a bit patient with him, he would however still care for you and be a bit possesive, not in the unhealthy way I mean would get jealous about you and if anyone tried to do anything he would kick their ass, in general his love language is a mix of physical contact and acts of service, he also calls you darling and dearie :)
NOW FOR P1 oh p1
tbh I think he would a bit more possesive compared to p2 by a bit, finding a not sick person would be a miracle to him, he would be a bit more emotional as well, confiding in you and being the only one he would trust, to me he would profess his love to you in a way more I guess poetic way?? idk how to call it but yeah! man is down bad for you essentialy, dont get me wrong though hes still postal dude of course, just ya know with more problems
now for the massacre part.. I feel it COULD be possible to be able to stop him from doing everything like people generally write p1 x reader fics but honestly to me, idk I feel like no matter what something would make him snap, the thing is would you join him or not... my self insert does but really I think that changes from person from person, I imagine that during the very small breaks from the killing he would be all over you, you're the thing that calms him down, also if he went to the asylum he would be saved by you, together till the end no matter what
AGAIN I know the whole joining in with him might seem bad! its just that for me its not any postal dude, especially postal 1 dude wihout some violence ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
ALSO i headcanon all the dudes with the exception of corkscrew for obvious reason that theyre all part brazilian and portuguese is their first language! (self projection wee hoo) so they would call you pet names or say how much they love in the language! I feel they would say amor a lot and the variations of it (amorzinho, meu amor, mo, also that basically means my love in different ways in english) p3 would say xuxu or xuxuzin for sure though (idk how to translate this but like, imagine it as like saying doll or darling but in a more joking manner)
In any way, all of them would be protective of you, wouldnt want to hurt you no matter what and if anyone tried they're dead
(also bonus p3, he would be the most smug out of all of them, he KNOWS you love him and he loves you too and oh boy is he gonna have fun with it, also both him and p2 would probably fight for you a bit in paradise lost lol)
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jung-koook · 2 years
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let me talk about something here please.
every time I open my inbox I saw hates messages. I prefer to block these messages, ignore them completely but this time I think I need to reply to these ones that left me extremely offended.
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stealing from twitter??? what?? whenever I go on twitter and see a photo or video and post it here I always put the credits. I also check their twitter account to see if there are any messages from them asking us to not repost their videos and photos. and after so many controversies and fansites wrong behaviors, i also stopped supporting fansite fantakes. when I go on twitter to look for translations for my gifs I always put the credits in the description of them. when I post only the translation I take a screenshot of their account and post it showing their username. I also use twitter for news and I always post a screenshot showing where the new came from. and I use twitter to see other instagrams uploading members photos, but do i need to put credits where i got these photos? please, I didnt steal anything from anyone!
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now this one.. gosh :/ being called a sasaeng is so offensive, I’m really shook right now :/ let me reply to this message :////
first of all, I am a 24 year old adult, thank you. “has major saesang behavior”??? what do you mean by that?? if you call me something like that you have to give me proof of what you're talking about! I never posted anything from their private events and schedules. nor pics of them just enjoying their lives. i document every moment of jeongguks life?? I cant understand what you're talking about because i dont to that. I never posted anything private about his life!
i already posted some pics of jeongguk that his brother posted on his instagram and his brother talking about gureum. his brother always interacted with army on instagram. he already posted some pics of jeongguk and some bangtan fanarts on his instagram. his brother never told armys not to interact with his account. but after some people asked me not to post these photos/pics here anymore, i deleted them.  (i dont see anything wrong with posting these since his brother doesnt see a problem with it. different from hobis sister who already said she doesnt like her instagram posts beind shared. )
when jeongguk was to film the ‘left and right’ mv. I saw a translation account translate to where he was going. I had read the kmedia news but I didnt realize that the two accounts were talking about different places. so I completely wrongly shared what the translation account translated but that account translated the place bighit was trying to keep private. a nice person here saw it and came to warn me about it and after that i deleted my post and apologize for sharing that here. I think unfortunately these are mistakes that anyone can make. but that doesnt make them saesang. please search on saesang term first.
if i cared about ony notes i wouldnt make gifs anymore. I make gifs because its a hobby that helps me to relax, to forget about the things that are bothering me in my personal life, to show a little bit of my love and admiration for bangtan by making my gifs. but notes are something important and caring about notes is nothing wrong! everyone wants to have their work recognized in some way right? and here its through the notes. so yes, I will self-reblog my posts whenever I want, thanks. :) 
I dont know why but there seem to be a lot of people who dont like that I've been here since 2013 lol and they think I dont deserve the support I got since the start of my blog. been here since the beginning helped me a lot and its something important for me. please dont try to take that out of my story. my blog is a beautiful part of my history as a bangtan fan. please dont try to hurt this part of my story. I went on hiatus for a while because I'm studying architecture and I had to focus only on my studies :)) when i came back tumblr was completely different. the people I knew from before werent here. even though i still had a lot of followers i felt like most werent here anymore either. so for me it was like starting my blog all over again. most of the people who support my blog here dont know it from the beginning, most are new people. so the reason I have support here is not because I've been here since 2013. the only ugliness I see here is you and your messages. you tried to ruin my day and you succeeded. :)
I'm tired of people trying to make things up about me! leave me alone! I'm not hurting anyone. I just post my gifs, support the work of other talented people here and scream for bangtan. stop trying to make up extremely dangerous lies about me! if you dont like me and my blog, stop being pathetic please do something for yourself. blocked my blog so you will never see me here again.
P.S. I’m sorry for my bad english but i needed to answer these messages. and I answered that way because I needed to block these people or the same person from my blog.
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will80sbyers · 1 year
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I think one of the misconceptions most of the fandom has is that mike feels he is not needed in general or that he is powerless. but from the way the show portrayed this situation, the writers made mike's insecurity tied to his relationship with el specifically. mike isnt feeling like a useless nerd in general. he is feeling that way because of his relationship with el, because they are not compitable.
if mike and el were to break up mike wouldnt feel that way in general because this specific insecurity is tied to his relationship with el. mike normally likes to be goofy and a nerd and he was and still is, when el isnt around. its not something he feels constantly but it is something he feels because of his relationship with el and because of their incompitability.
i am not saying this to bash el, dont get me wrong. i am saying this to point out it was an intentional writing choice done by the writers to tie mike being insecure to specifically his relationship to el to show that they are not compitable. so, when they break up, mike wont feel like some random nerd anymore because he and el wont be in a relationship where both of them feel insecure.
Yes! I think the main problem is his relationship with El, but I don't think the problem started because of his relationship, I think it's the bullying at school that made him start feeling that way about himself, and then he started to apply that feeling to his relationship with El... when he is with his other friends he feels more like himself, and he doesn't care much about what other people think now that he's grown up, (he still cares in general a bit because everybody does, but he is very insecure only with El...) he can get over it by being with the people like Eddie, Will etc that help him feel more secure... so I don't think that Mike has heavy depression, I don't think he's portrayed that way in the show, but I do think he has a lot of trauma and that he is really confused about feelings and most of all about how other people feel towards him... I think Mike started to feel like thanks to El he had a purpose, he could help her and save Will and be important, Mike always wished he was like the heroes in the stories he loved, so when he found El that did change his life, and the fact that El liked him back seemed almost impossible to him because she was so amazing and so special, and he felt like he was just a random kid, he didn't feel special, but he also is not heavily depressed about that, it's just a fact to him!
He was scared of losing El though, so he started to change himself in season 3 trying to let go of things that he thought El would consider childish, because he liked her and wanted her to keep liking him... but the thing is that you can't really be in love with someone, and they can't really be in love with you, if you are pretending to be someone else when you are together.
That's loving the idealized version of that person, not the person!
So this mask of heteronormativity that he put on where he plays the role of the boyfriend and El has the role of ''girlfriend'' is what is stopping them from really be in love... I also feel like the writers wrote this on purpose to show how Mike and El are not the right person for each other, even liking each other and having love for each other, they can't be themselves when they are in a relationship, that's their dynamic and that's why they have to break up.... and at that point they can become friends again and be themselves like they were in season 1 and Mike can start really seeing Will, understanding that loving Will is super easy because he could always be completely himself with him and Will makes him feel like he's special and important since the start! Byler endgame was always the solution!!!
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Have you ever had a relationship with GOD/YHWH? Have you asked HIM things, for help/understanding?
What is stopping you from pursuing a life w/ someone WHO will never leave you and has your best at heart?
𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱: 'If you do not know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take.'
I'm always saying I don't know what is happening or why I'm feeling despondent
— so I agree we don't know how to live.
We're all unique snowflakes, but I think divorce & drugs and alcohol exists so we can try to calm down from all the anger and rage we feel when 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 — or the way we want to be treated or remembered.
1.]  If 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿,       Hell is basic entry level for everyone, &
2.]  If GOD sent HIS SON to die on the cross in our       place to avoid this Hell and lead us thru life by       HIS HOLY SPIRIT; &
3.]  HE says there is only 1-way forward & JESUS       is the way/truth/life, that no one comes to       the FATHER except thru JESUS. [John 14:6]
Why would we ever avoid HIS easy yoke? Why wouldn't we ask HIM in to show us the way?
We clearly don't have life/truth/way to GOD, unless we accept JESUS, & life/death begins forever after we're ejected from earth.
I wonder if you were to die in your sleep suddenly: Are you ready to be drop-kicked into eternity?
Case in point...
Rose you say you think about your mentor Albert a lot that he passed away suddenly [5:37] maybe that's the take away lesson here:
In the Bible it says there was a rich man who had so much money/wealth that he was thinking to himself he had more than enough to retire & live at ease for the rest of his life.
The problem was,
Luke 12:20 | ²⁰ But GOD said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be required of you. Then who will own what you have accumulated?’
this is gonna be long, cause i have been wanting to write over this for a while*deep breathes*
lets start from 1st fact that I, am NOT Christian or into it by any means, I am a HINDU and I do not think I am the religious enough to fit in the criteria.
now lets talk about my relation with God, I do appreciate the "good" teachings of every religious texts and things, but I do not think GOD/ GODS are the place for help, when they could not answer me as a kid who was like helpless and lost, I dont think they every could. One can say to each their own, I see the theory of GOD more like a friend, a choice(will discuss later) . So no, i do not seek any relation with the GOD, i do not want to ask anyone anything anymore, if they REALLY had the best it WOULDNT be like this?? yk? its kinda fucked up to think but they are the ULTIMATE GOD so why are they doing this? iykwim. just my way to view tho.
now all the stories (yes i consider the teaching of bible, geeta, and other holy books as stories nonetheless)- i wouldnt say anything cause its not about my religion, i dont want to come offensive cause i have not enough information to make an opinion for now
FOR MY POINT OF VIEW on how i believe on god, its very simple
once a teacher of mine said -i dont believe in god, i just know there is a true good spirit showing you the right ways
and to add to that , i think, god is a very flawed concept, they wont pay your bills or heal your trauma or anything, they dont even talk lol, but THEY DO GIVE PEACE, like they are just a figment of my imagination that give me an idea of what kind of personality i want in me, Gods are someone i trusted and still do to share my life issues cause they are more like A PERSON WHO IS TRYING TO KEEP THINGS BALANCED to me than something divine, If you read Indian mythologies, mostly God mess up too, and then they solve it, they teach humans how to manage mess and how to not fuck up things in wrong proportions, not to lose humanity, even god are helpess in many situations sooo you know. I do love the religious festivities, stories, the peace being in a temple and things but i cant just be all devoted to them, thats toxic in my point of view. To me god is just a friend, i can talk to and have no other expectations, just hope that they know whatever they are doing is okay. God to me is just a teacher who gives me options and in the end its me who decides and makes my life how i want, and they do this to all humans, thats why things get bad its not the God choice, but the people. And this made me feel a bit better cause if you are just like the end is god and he is gonna be all healer and stuff, you will meet disappointment, i did not once or twice but so many times. God isnt going to help you, ever, they will only give you options, SO WHY MAKE THEM THE ULTIMATE WHEN IM THE ONE IN CONTROL?
IDK if this made sense to you anon, i know you mean well (hopefully, this is not a cult thing or something) and im not saying your way to trust god is wrong, it just doesn't suit me and its okay
thank you haha
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munsons-maiden · 2 years
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i'm the anon from yesterday, thank you for replying :) i have another question. i see since he canonicaly has no addiction eddie wouldnt touch hard drugs but say he takes party drugs every weekend do u think hed stop if his girlfriend asked him to not take anything but weed? how would he react?
I don't think I understand the question - there is no canon, it's all just headcanons 😅 The only canon is that Eddie very obviously isn't addicted to anything which implies he stays away from hard drugs. Everything else is up to you and what you headcanon - I'm not exactly sure what you want me to say, dear 😅
If you mean let's assume he took party drugs every weekend and his partner would be worried or not comfortable with him doing it, and communicate/explain it in a calm manner, he'd definitely just stop doing it even if he himself wouldn't see it as a problem. He's definitely not the kind of person who needs drugs or even alcohol, it's just not important to him. He'd stick to weed and that's it. The only things he wouldn't give up would be weed and probably cigarettes and the occasional beer.
Think of the situation like, for example, piercings. I'd love to get a nose ring piercing. My husband hates piercings with a passion. If he told me "you're not allowed to get a nose ring", I'd very kindly ignore it and get the nose ring. But he didn't - he explained he doesn't like piercings and told me that while he respects that I can do with my body whatever the hell I want, he kindly asked me not to get a nose ring. I respect that, so I chose I won't be getting a nose ring. I'd have liked it, but I don't need it and not giving him the heebie jeebies with a nose ring was my choice.
It would be the same for Eddie.
Though I feel the topic makes you extremely anxious, probably because you're firmly anti drugs and you're scared it would make you incompatible with Eddie but it might help to keep two things in mind:
a) Eddie is Eddie. Him using party drugs, no matter how regularly, would change his personality as much as having a nose ring would change mine - not at all.
b) Eddie is someone who loves fiercely and respects his partner. I'm absolutely certain that, when asked kindly, Eddie would immediately stop using harder drugs if it made his s/o uncomfortable - he'd choose to stop the behavior on his own volition.
I hope I could help combat some of that anxiety 🥰
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temporalbystander · 1 year
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Since I'm torn between screaming and crying, don't ask me why I've never felt so emotional over being so nauseous before, I figured id try and fix my previous screw up. I was pissed that I couldn't end it the way I wanted so, clearly, that shouldn't have been where I ended it. Now let's try good man Tom take two.
To say Tom was happy that his daughter was with the boy she loved was an understatement. The fact that the young Adrien Agreste had been granted more freedom and was actually able to come over more often? Well it brought a joy to the baker that he didn't think possible. Sabine loved having someone else to speak Mandarin with of course and, even though Tom didn't understand a word of it, he loved how happy and free his wife sounded speaking in her native tongue. But for the moment young Adrien was currently helping with the clean up which lead to Tom being reminded of a question he thought the boy might be in a perfect position to answer. "Adrien? What do you think of Faybon?" Since the day they last spoke the orphan had gone no further than the bakery whenever he stopped by. Picking up some pastries and then leaving with a simple thank you.
"Faybon?" If the former model was surprised at the sudden topic it didn't stop him for long. "He's amazing really. Seeing him go through the day you wouldnt know about his home life or just how harshly he pushes himself." Adrien slowed down slightly, clearly the stresses of his own life were coming to mind, but he still kept talking. "He told me once that the only thing keeping him in school was that Miss Netta, the caretaker, had asked him to stay." The blonde let out a small chuckle. "Of course that didnt stop him from working non-stop to take on some of the financial problems the orphanage faced."
"He clearly cares about his home." Tom added when there was a slight pause. How could a kid that was so kind and so determined have remained an orphan for so long? Even then how could he be so overlooked when his personality gave off such a presence while you were talking to him?
Adrien had gone to grab another tray and brought it to the bench, they had finished cleaning but apparently the young Agreste wasn't done talking. Tom wasn't going to complain though. It seemed to subject of the other boy weighed as heavily on Adrien's mind as it did his own. "I had assumed he was Marinette's boyfriend at first, because he was so affectionate towards her. I still feel guilty about that." Tom didn't say anything, his little girl had told him about the way Faybon had teased her when they first became friends, the constant hugs and embraces would have definitely give the wrong impression to an outside observer. "He explained everything of course, more than I expected him too, even said we were a lot alike."
"Well you are both amazing kids with a lot of work experience under your belt." The appreciative smile Adrien gave off at that helped Tom to relax a little. Seemed like he wasn't messing this conversation up too badly yet.
"True but... I can't help but think there's more to it than that." The blonde teen looked around before lowering his voice slightly. "Don't tell Marinette but I can't help but wonder if it truly was a good thing she got him to open up to everyone." Maybe Tom's shock didn't translate on his face well because Adrien almost seemed scared as he tried to explain himself. "I mean he's a great friend and I'm glad to know him it's just..." The boy seemed to get frustrated by his inability to speak clearly.
"Did something happen that made you think this way?" Tom thought the best way to help the kid calm down was to get him to think of it a different way. It seemed to work.
"Our friends band was doing a rehearsal a while ago and we had all managed to be there." Adrien started slowly. "We had set up the chairs and everything but one of our friends, Kagami, had just been in an argument with her mother again. So Faybon was trying to cheer her up." The smile the boy gave was tinged with sadness at that and Tom couldn't think of a reason why that would be the case. "He had thrown his body across several of the chairs and put his head in her lap. Since her mother kept calling her soft he seemed determined to try and show her why that was a good thing. He promised to stay there until she started thinking differently."
"That sounds like it could have gone badly." The large baker added, he hadn't met Kagami often but it was enough to see that she had a particular way of dealing with people that might rub others the wrong way. "What happened next?"
Adrien gave a small chuckle. "Had it been anyone else it probably would have but I think Kagami was a bit more lenient with him for some reason." Shaking his head the boy continued his story. "Since there didn't seem to be any more problems the rehearsal started. The band went through several songs, had to restart a couple of times as some technical issues were worked out and even allowed me to join them for a bit." His smile widened as the excitement of that night came back to him. Tom much prefered that look to the slightly closed off one the boy gave whenever talking about his modelling, well unless it was one of Marinette's designs he was wearing that is. "A few hours later there was much cheering and then we all moved to start taking things down. All except for Faybon and Kagami."
The baker was a bit shocked at that, Faybon always seemed willing to help. "Had he seriously stayed on her lap the entire time?" Tom had to admire the boys dedication. Even pushed together fold out chairs were notoriously uncomfortable to lie on.
The sad smile was back. "Marinette went over to yell at him only for Kagami to stop her. Apparently he'd fallen asleep shortly after she started ignoring him, which was long before the band started playing." Tom had heard some of Kitty Sections music. the idea of sleeping through it seemed impossible.
"He really must have been tired." Still, he wasn't sure why that would cause Adrien to say what he did.
"I think he always is." The boy answered after a moment. "I know what it's like to bounce from one thing to the next, to have to drag yourself out of bed when it's the last thing you feel you can do." Tom understood that. It had taken a while before he had adjusted to the early start the bakery had required of him.
"So you think he's faking his emotions around you then?" Mr Dupain asked hoping for some clarification. He supposed it was possible but it didn't seem likely.
Clearly Adrien agreed. "Not at all." He said with a firm shake of his head. "I have no doubt that the person he shows us is the real Faybon." His voice was clearer now, the worry for his friend starting to shine through. "I think it's much worse. I think he's forcing himself to show us who he is. I think his normal day to day life is so exhausting that his moments of invisibility are him trying to recover. I think that just being normal around us is draining his already empty reserves."
Tom admitted that was an unnerving thought that could explain the moments of emptiness he had seen on the overworked kid. If simply being himself was an effort then it would make sense why he seemed to content to fade into the background when not actively engaged. "If that's true then Ladybug and Chat Noir should stop him from trying to help them so much."
It was an odd place to end the conversation but the mention of Faybon and the heroes seemed to make Adrien uncomfortable. Maybe he hadn't noticed just how often Faybon had been by their side? Or maybe it was more guilt over how hard he was pushing himself. Whatever the reason Tom's view of both the boys had solidified, as well as what he was going to do from now on. Adrien seemed desperate to be heard and appreciated at times and, while the baker would never speak badly of another man's parenting techniques, he knew the pain of a distant father all to well.
As for Faybon? Well, whenever the boy stopped by the bakery in future he was loaded up with all the leftovers they had. And if some of those items weren't actual leftovers and had instead been made solely because of what Marinette said Faybon and the other orphans liked? Well, Faybon didn't need to know that. Soon the boy that had been such a source of worry for Tom was able to walk in and out of the bakery with as little interaction as possible. It wasn't Tom's preferred method of dealing with customers but if cutting out a little bit of conversation allowed Faybon a bit more energy to deal with the rest of his life? Then so be it.
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