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shellshocklove · 8 months

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i wanna be your lover | joel miller

pairing/AU: 70s!pornstar!joel miller x inexperienced!female reader

summary: miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?

warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! reader is 23, joel is in his early 30s, swearing, misogyny (bc of the times™), accuracies and inaccuracies about the 70s, drinking of alcohol, smoking of cigarettes (it’s the 70s alright), mentions of a bad previous sexual encounter and losing your virginity, use of pet names, porn (obviously lmao), sextoys, only one bed, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise kink, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!), no use of y/n

a/n: i had fun with this one, but it turned out to be longer than i first intended. i hope people will like it still! also big thank you to @dustydaddyyy, for proofreading this

main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3

Under a pink and orange Los Angeles sky, your platforms clicked against the sidewalk. Day left an hour ago, dipping behind the green hills of Laurel Canyon. Walking down The Strip, arms linked with your friend Deborah, the street bustled in the awakening night. Music spilled from clubs and bars, seducing the dressed-up crowd passing by this Friday night.

“Do a little dance, make a little love,”

“This,” Deborah emphasized, coming to a stop outside a club, “is exactly what you need tonight to get your mind off everything.”

She clutched your arm tighter to her body, almost like she was afraid you’d run off, and maybe she had good reason to think you would. You weren’t exactly in the right mood to party. Only a few hours ago, you’d gotten fired from your job. Three years as Mr. Cooper’s personal assistant down the drain.

Mr. Cooper was the creative director, and one of the partners at the advertisement agency where you’d worked. He was an important man, and he’d dealt with all kinds of clients on a daily basis. For you, it had been a learning curve of a job. You had no prior experience as a personal assistant, and it had been intimidating.

You’d only just moved to the City of Angels when you’d gotten the job. With next to no money, having left behind your family and your small town, you were desperate for a job. When you’d seen the ad in the newspaper, left behind on the table of a café near your apartment, you’d stepped out on the sidewalk immediately to find a payphone. During the interview Mr. Cooper had looked you up and down and scowled as he’d read your resume. You’d shrank in your seat under his gaze, but even with your lacking resume, Mr. Cooper had hired you on the spot.

Later, during your first full week at your new job, you’d come to discover why Mr. Cooper had hired you so quickly – he’d been desperate for a new assistant. Overhearing some of the other ladies whispering to each other during lunch, you’d been able to piece together exactly why. Apparently, Mr. Cooper and his former personal assistant had been having an affair. He’d gotten her pregnant and wanted nothing to do with her or the baby – he was a married man after all. This was where the story had gotten hazy, and the grape vine sang different songs. One version of the story said he’d forced her to get an abortion and riddled with grief over the dead baby and their failing relationship, she’d quit her job and moved back to her parents in Maine. While the other version of the story said that, rightfully angry at Mr. Cooper for not taking any responsibility over their situation, she’d gone to visit his wife at home to tell her about what’s been going on. Which story was the truth, you don’t know. What you did know, was that Mr. Cooper was still married, and his previous assistant was no longer working for him.

Even if the job had been intimidating at first, you’d quickly gotten used to it. You stayed on top of everything: Mr. Copper’s clients, his calls, his schedule. Ordered flowers for his wife, and even sent boxes of chocolates to his various paramours. You’d made sure the bar in his office was always stacked with his favorite bourbon, and most importantly: you’d made sure to be seen and not heard. It’s what he told you, in the job interview, that he wanted.

You had thought you were doing a good job, but clearly, Mr. Cooper had been laboring under a different impression…

Your day had started like every other day – normal. You’d arrived at work fifteen minutes before Mr. Cooper, like always. Dutifully greeting him with a sweet “Good morning, sir!” at your desk, and served him his morning coffee minutes later. The day continued like normal, occupied with calls and speaking to clients, you had no idea what shocking message you’d receive at the end of your day.

Outside the club, you gave Deborah a meek smile which faded when you saw the line snaking its way down the street, “Sure, but… we’ll never get in.”

“Get down tonight, get down tonight,”

The words of KC And The Sunshine Band traveled through the open club door, the music filled the warm summer air.

“Don’t worry, babes!” she beamed, “I know the owner.” With an overdramatic wink and a giggle, she pulled you towards the bouncer.

“Baby, baby, I'll meet you, same place, same time,”

“How exactly do you know the owner of this place?” you queried, as you passed through the door of the club while the music got louder and louder.

“Where we can get together, and ease up our mind,”

“Let’s just say we had a weekend together…,” she giggled, “and I got to know him very… intimately.”

Your eyes widened at her implications, and Deborah giggled even louder.

“Don’t look so surprised!” she laughed, “I’m all about free love,” she joked, putting up a peace sign.

A heat burned your cheeks. Still, after three years in LA you needed to constantly remind yourself that you weren’t in your small rural hometown anymore. No one was going to arrest you for talking about sex. Nevertheless, the habit was hard to shake, and the roots of the rules you’d grown up with – the ones that had taught you to be the perfect student and the perfect daughter – stayed embedded in your mind.

“So…” Deborah started, her back against the bar while she took her first sip of her Apple Martini. She’d ordered you some fruity cocktail you’d never had before that she swore you’d like. “What exactly did that sad excuse of a man say to you when he fired you?”

With a scrunch of your nose, you turned your attention to your drink, taking a sip. It tasted sugary, but fresh, one of those dangerous drinks where you couldn’t taste the alcohol.

“Let’s not talk about it?” you sighed, shooting Deborah another meek smile.

She returned your smile, but it was full of pity. “You’re right! Let’s not– Let’s forget that fucker,” she said, taking a generous sip of her drink, “you’ll easily get a new job! I know it!” she smiled.

Not soon after Deborah had finished her first drink, a man interrupted your conversation. The man was tall, with black wild hair, pork chops and a matching mustache. He was wearing a flower-patterned shirt tucked into a pair of brown bell-bottoms. The top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, revealing dark chest hair and a gold chain. He wasn’t bad looking.

His hand on Deborah’s back didn’t seem to bother her, quite the opposite, she jumped excitedly, throwing her hands around his neck in greeting. You couldn’t hear what he whispered in her ear over the music, but it made her laugh.

“This is Tommy! He owns the club,” Deborah introduced you.

With a friendly smile, you shook Tommy’s hand and introduced yourself. His grip was firm, not like those people that made shaking their hand feel like gripping a dead fish. You decided that it was a good sign.

“So– are ya enjoyin’ yourselves, ladies?” he asked with a charming smile.

“Oh, yes!” Deborah smiled, her painted nails landing on his bicep, “But I think we’d enjoy ourselves even more after another drink.”

With a knowing smile and an easy laugh, Tommy ushered the bartender closer. “’nother round for these two beautiful ladies,” he ordered, “and… they’re drinkin’ on the house for the rest of the night,” he added, sending Deborah a wink.

The bartender served you your second drink just as Tommy convinced Deborah to dance with him. Quickly, she downed her Apple Martini before she turned to you, guilt written all over her face.

“You okay by yourself for a little bit?”

“Yeah– sure!” you nodded, “Go have fun!”

With a sorry smile and a promise to be right back, Deborah left you at the bar, dragged out on the dancefloor by Tommy.

Left to your own devices, you still felt a little awkward. This was supposed to be a girls night. Pushing off the bar, you turned to lean your back against it. You bopped your head to the music, trying to not look so out of place. In your hands, your drink was slippery from the condensation around the glass. Out on the dancefloor, the crowd looked like it moved in slow motion through the blinking lights, bodies twisting their hips and grooving to the beat. You took another sip.

It’s a strange feeling, feeling so alone, while surrounded by a crowd of people. To your, a couple gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes as they passed a cigarette back and forth, a ribbon of smoky white, clouded them in a love fog. They leaned closer, sharing a kiss. You quickly averted your eyes, desperate for something else to rest your eyes on.

Instead, they fell on a man.

You locked eyes with him from across the room. Clad in tight denim he sat casually in a booth in the corner, legs spread slightly. His hand was wrapped around a whisky glass, with a cigarette pinched between his fingers. With a shy smile, you quickly looked away again, eyes back to watching the bodies on the dancefloor. You took another sip of your drink, trying to act casual.

He wasn’t watching you, was he? Why would he? No one usually looked at you twice.

You were no good at this. Flirting. You were painfully awful at it to be completely honest. Too shy to be sexy, and never interesting enough, or pretty enough for a second date.

Your experience with dating didn’t really go further than the few dates you’d gone on with John, from accounting. He’d acted so sweet: opened doors for you, held out your chair, kissed you at your doorstep at the end of the night. He had been a dream. Then on your third date, he’d invited you back to his place for a nightcap. One thing led to another, and soon you were laying under him as he thrusted inside you. It was your first time – and he hadn’t known. It had hurt so much; you’d turned your face away so he wouldn’t see your tears. After, he’d called you a cab, not bothering to even kiss you goodbye. In the office the next day, he’d pretended like you’d never even existed: no more tender kisses, no more door opening, no more smiles. Your dream had turned into a nightmare.

He’d pulled you aside during lunch and told you it wouldn’t work out between the two of you. You were just such different people. You’d deflated like a balloon at his words, sinking into your chair as you watched him walk down the corridor back to his cubicle. To make matters worse you’d overheard him say, to some of his colleges by the watercooler, how awful in bed you’d been. It had been humiliating. And now, every time you as much as attempted to flirt with someone, a bell of shame rang in your ears.

The man couldn’t have looked at you. He’d for sure only looked in the direction of the bar. But something burned your cheek, and you couldn’t fight your eyes from trailing back in his direction.

Dark hair and a tidy mustache. Lips pulled up into a cheeky smile as you locked eyes with him again. He took a drag of his cigarette, and the fire lit up his handsome face. You felt something pool in your stomach. His gaze still on you as he exhaled, challenging you with a raised eyebrow. Again, your cheeks burned, and you had to look away. Suddenly, your own platform shoes looked extremely interesting.

“I remember when rock was young, me and Susie had so much fun,”

The sound of Elton John was the perfect distraction from the alluring stranger. You were sure that if you looked back at him again, you’d only embarrass yourself. You always did. Slurping up the rest of your drink, you pushed off the bar, and headed towards the dancefloor.

“Holding hands and skimming stones. Had an old gold Chevy, and a place of my own,”

Moving your hips to the beat you vanished in the bodies. And soon you were “hopping and bopping” to the Crocodile Rock, singing loudly along with the crowd to “Laa, la-la-la-la-laa”.

The air was clammy and stuffy, and sweat clung to your skin, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You were here to leave your shitty day behind. To dance it away. You moved through the crowd; a smile bright on your face while your feet couldn’t stay still. The handsome stranger in the booth, already forgotten.

As the song faded out, a new song faded in. It was slower. A slightly erotic, but melodic guitar filled the room, accompanied by a luring salsa rhythm. You slowed down your dancing. It felt like you were threading through water.

“Ain't got nobody that I can depend on. Ain't got nobody that I can depend on,”

A pair of hands landed on your hips, making you jump. Behind you, you heard the deep chuckle of a man.

“Relax, darlin’,” he whispered in your ear, moving your hips in time with his.

You leaned back against his body; head tipped back against his broad chest to get a look at the man. Your stranger from the booth. He wore a cocky smirk, but he didn’t come across as full of himself. He was confident. Confident in the way he held your body – big hands splayed over your hips. Confident in the way he danced, like he knew exactly what he was doing, and he did.

“Ain't got no one (no tengo a nadie). That I know of (no tengo a nadie). That I can depend on (no tengo a nadie),”

You let him move your body, turning you around to take your hand in his, pulling you closer to his chest. He smelled like cigarettes and cologne. He’d been watching you, you realized, not the bar. Interested enough in you to follow you out on the dancefloor. It intimidated you, but under the intimidation it also excited you.

He led your movements. You were no dancer, but he made it so easy, spinning you around with ease before pulling you back towards his body. The eye contact was intense, like he was searching for your soul. Santana’s wailing guitar and the stranger’s hand at your waist was the only thing grounding you to the moment.

“I ain't got nobody, that I can depend on (no tengo a nadie),”

The song reached its climactic end. The man spun you one last time before he pulled you tight against his chest. It was like the song’s ending had broken a spell over the two of you, the air of sensuality was gone, and replaced by his genuine smile and breathy laugh.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked you over the funky bassline of Eagles’ One of These Nights.

Wide-eyed, “Please,” was the only thing you could utter.

With a hand resting at the small of your back he led you through the crowd towards the bar, where he got the bartender’s attention immediately.

“An Old Fashioned for me Doug, and…” he looked towards you with a smile.

“Um… a Tequila Sunrise?” you said with a shy smile.

“A Tequila Sunrise, for this beautiful lady,” he told the bartender.

Grabbing one of the bar stools he sat down and gestured for you to do the same. You’d just about sat down before he leaned forward, grabbed a hold of your stool, and pulled you closer to him. A squeal escaped you before it turned into a giddy laugh.

“Thank you, Doug!” he told the bartender when he returned with your drinks.

“On a first name basis with the bartender– you here often?” you asked him, taking a sip of your drink.

“Not as often as I’d liked– it’s my lil’ brother’s club,” he told you, taking a sip of his own drink.

“You’re Tommy’s brother?” you wondered with a frown, a little shocked.

“You know Tommy?” he asked, equally shocked.

You shrugged, “Yes– well… not really.”

He took another sip of his drink, eyes urging you to go on.

“I met him earlier– he’s… well,” you didn’t know how to explain it, “I’m here with my friend Deborah, and I guess her and Tommy are…” you trailed off.

“Fuckin’?” he finished for you, grin wide on his face.

You only nodded, swallowing down another sip of your drink.

“Yeah, I’ve heard all about Deborah…” he trailed off with a look on his face like he knew a secret, “… but nothing about her beautiful friend.”

You huffed out a laugh and turned your head, heat traveling up your neck to your cheeks, “I’m not sure there’s much to know.”

“How about your name?” he suggested.

You turned back to look at him, really look at him.

Had Deborah set him up for this?

You wouldn’t put it past her if she had. She was always urging you to go out with her. To clubs, to parties in The Hills, on double dates. You wanted to go, you really did, but a voice in the back of your head always held you back. You’d thought moving to LA would be the remedy. All alone in a big city would surely help you come out of your shell, right? The harsh reality had been that LA hadn’t magically fixed you. You’d thought you’d be a completely different person here, but you’d packed your insecurities in your baggage. The only person who was gonna help you out of your shell, you’d started to realize… was you.

Putting on a brave face, disguised as a friendly smile, you gave him your name. The man was silent for a moment, nodding as he brought his lips to the rim of his glass again, taking another sip of his drink. It made you hold your breath.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he said eventually with an easy grin. His compliment sent a warmth to your cheeks, while you fought an urge to squinch your face with embarrassment.

After a second of silence, you raised a brave eyebrow at him, “What about your name? Or shall I just call you Tommy’s brother?”

He chuckled lightly, eyes glinting, before he cleared his throat, “Name’s Joel.”

“Joel,” you repeated with a nod, making his cocky smile wider. Tasting his name on your tongue, you decided it sounded pleasant on your lips.

“So– you’re Deb’s friend?” Joel started, to which you confirmed with a nod. “How come she’s never brought you ‘round before?” he wondered with a sip of his drink.

You gave him a relaxed shrug, “I’m not much of a drinker– if I’m honest.”

He leaned forward, like he was about to whisper a secret to you, “You are aware of the fact that you’re in a club, aren’t you?” he teased.

Your mouth dropped open before you playfully rolled your eyes at him, “Shut up,” you said, “I’m not usually much of a drinker… at least not without good reason.”

“So, what’s the good reason?” Joel asked, raising a single eyebrow, “Boyfriend dumped ya?”

“Boss dumped me, actually…” you corrected, “I got fired.”

Joel sucked some air between his teeth, “Ouch… you better get another drink, then.” He turned his body towards the bar to casually raise a hand, getting the attention of Doug.

You let out a scoffing laugh, shaking your head at his teasing tone, “Maybe I will.”

As you finish your Tequila Sunrise, Joel ordered you another one, and one for himself. You felt hot to the touch. The alcohol coursed through your body like liquid courage, it traveled through your bloodstream, greasing the part of yourself where your confidence laid dormant.

“What did you work as?” he asked, sipping his own Tequila Sunrise.

“I am–was…” you corrected, “a personal assistant.”

“A good one?” Joel wondered.

Taking a large sip of your drink, you tried to swallow down your failure.

“You’d have to ask my boss,” you breathed out.

“The one that fired ya?” he returned with a cocky smile, and you fought an urge to roll your eyes.

Sitting up a little straighter you narrowed your eyes at him, “What do you do, then? If you’re so good at your job?”

“Never said I was good at it,” he shrugged, cocky grin not going anywhere.

“You gonna make me ask you again?” you deadpanned, your shyness shedding with every sip of your drink.

Joel looked amused, like he was in on a secret only he knew. You continued to stare at him, raising a challenging eyebrow at his continued silence.

“I’m an actor,” he confessed.

You couldn’t hide the impressed look that crossed your face. Sure, you’d been in LA for three years, he wasn’t the first actor you’d met, and he for sure wouldn’t be the last, but it was something about the way he said it.

“A good one?” you used his own words against him, making him chuckle.

He took another sip of his drink, “I’d like to think so,” he smiled, looking at you over the rim of his glass.

“Anything I’d know?” you wondered, watching him put his glass down.

The corners of his mouth twitched into what looked like an ironic smirk, “God, I kinda of hope not,” he said, eyes trailing the scratches and dents in the dark wood of the bar.

You both went quiet, as you sipped your drinks. You’d started to wonder if you’d maybe said something wrong, when Joel cleared his throat.

“Not to mix business with pleasure–” he started, turning towards you, mouth twitching again at the innuendo, “but I happen to be looking for an assistant.”

“Oh, really?” you deadpanned, convinced he was pulling your leg.

“You don’t believe me?” he breathed out a chuckle.

“Let’s see: a strange man dances with me in a club,” you held up a finger, “then buys me a drink, then offers me a job? I may not be from around here, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that one.” You laughed with a shake of your head.

As you laughed, it hit you how easily you found it to jest with Joel. Usually, you were the quiet one. The one observing or just listening, always too shy to joke freely, especially with people you didn’t know, but somehow, in this moment you felt free. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was getting fired. Or maybe… it was Joel.

“Well, believe it or not, I ain’t fibbin’… it really depends on how much you need a job,” he took another sip of his drink.

“I just got fired,” you said matter of factly.

Joel gave you an infuriatingly innocent shrug, “Then you better start believing me when I say I’m looking for an assistant.”

You couldn’t do anything other than scoff in disbelief. “So what?” you asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow, “You’re just gonna offer me a job after knowing me for barely an hour? No interview or nothing?”

“Do I need to be interviewin’ ya?” he wondered innocently.

“It’s a job!” you spluttered, “You always interview people before you give them a job!”

He gave you a nonchalant shrug. “Then I guess I will… so what can you tell me about yourself? What makes you a good assistant?” he asked, tone genuine as he placed an elbow on the bar counter and rested his head in his hand.

“I don’t mean now!” you let out in a nervous squeak, and Joel seemed to enjoy the way you shifted nervously in your seat.

He shrugged, “Alright then… you got time for coffee? Say… tomorrow mornin’?”

Ten to ten the next morning you met Joel for coffee.

Wanting to give him a good and professional impression – he could be your new employer after all – you’d worn your brown three pieced suit with a purple paisley shirt under your suit vest. It made you feel strong– well usually, right now you couldn’t seem to shake the pre-interview nerves… Anyway, you were hoping your outfit would make Joel think you had your shit together – at least put together enough for him to hire you.

With eyes scanning the café, you found him at a table by the window, smoking a cigarette. When you approached him, heels clicking against the hardwood floor, he checked his watch.

“Ten minutes early!” he remarked with a grin.

“Reliability and punctuality are good qualities in a new employee, I’ve heard.” You shot him a shy smile before you placed your bag on the floor by your chair.

He hummed, watching you with an easy smile as you sat down opposite him while shedding your jacket. The white smoke danced in front of his face like coiling ribbons. Clad in a striped polo with a Johnny collar he’d tucked into a pair of Levi’s jeans, he relaxed in his chair, shifting slightly, and spreading his legs wider. The movement, like a reflex, drew your eyes to his lower half. His Levi’s were tight, held in place by a big western belt buckle, but it wasn’t his belt buckle that caught your attention.

“So…” he started. His voice startled you, and you flicked your eyes back to his face. His playful smile told you he’s caught you checking him out. Embarrassed, you looked past him, not daring to make eye contact as you fought the urge to cringe.

“How are ya?” he took another drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out the side of his mouth.

“I’m–I’m good thank you,” you gave him a nervous smile, the confidence from last night gone with the rise of the sun, “how are you?”

“I’m good too, sweetheart,” he nodded, “wanna have this interview…? Or should I just tell you now you’re hired?”

Perplexed, your eyebrows met in a furrow, “What do you mean?”

“Honey, I already decided last night I’d hire you,” he grinned with another drag of his cigarette.

“I–… I mean are you sure?” you stuttered, “I brought my resume and references and everything– don’t you want to take a look at them?” you wondered, a hand dropping to your bag to fish out your newly typed resume and references. You tapped the papers against the table before placing them neatly in front of him.

Retracting your hands, you rested them in your lap, while you watched him. He placed his cigarette in his mouth before he picked up your resume. His eyes scanned the paper, his head nodding slightly.

“Graduated high school in 1970… A year as a cashier at Piggly Wiggly…” he started listing, his cigarette dipping with each word, “A year at Greasy Motors?”.

“Um– yes!” you peeped, “It’s my uncle’s garage shop– I worked as their secretary,” you told him, picking at the skin around your nails.

“You any good with cars?” he asked, one eyebrow raised as he took one last drag of his cigarette.

“No–No not really… I just spoke to the customers, answered the phone and stuff like that.”

You’d wanted to learn some of the basics, but you’d quickly given up. None of the guys had taken you seriously, and they had made sure to let you know where your place was – it was not with your hands deep in an engine.

Joel hummed at your answer and stubbed out his cigarette. “And Mr. Cooper’s the one that fired ya?” he asked.

You gave him a short nod. Your pointer finger burned with pain as you pulled at a piece of skin you’d picked loose around your nail.

“Why?”,

“The honest answer?” you sighed, and he nodded.

“I don’t know,” you told him, “he just called me into his office at the end of the day and told me he was gonna have to let me go– I was honestly too shocked to ask him why.”

“Oof,” Joel frowned.

“Yeah,” you sighed, you didn’t know what else to say.

“Well… you’ve given me a great impression, both last night and right now, so you’ve got the job, sweetheart– if you want it.” He leaned back in his chair, letting your resume fall from his hands.

“It can’t be that easy, can it?” the words fell from your lips before you had time to think. Joel raised a curious eyebrow at you. “I mean what’s the catch?”

“There’s no catch.”

He seemed to think about it for a beat, “Unless there is…” Joel’s lips tugged at the corners as he leaned over the table, “Remember I said I was an actor?” he asked, eyes boring into yours.

You gave him a skeptical nod.

“I’m an adult actor…” he lowered his voice, “You understand?” he asked before he leaned back in his seat again.

An adult actor. Your eyes widened with realization.

“Wait… you mean,” you looked around you before you leaned forward over the table like he’d just done, “you’re a pornstar?” you whispered, feeling your cheeks start to burn with embarrassment.

“Is that a problem for you?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Was it? Was it a problem for you?

The question tugged at the back of your neck. Tugged on your childhood, on your upbringing. You’d escaped; had your own apartment now, made your own money. You were trying to come into your own, to finally be your own person.

With teeth digging into your bottom lip, you looked at Joel. He watched you expectantly, head tipping slightly to the right as he studied you. There was no malice in his eyes, and nothing about him seemed grimy or obscene… Nothing about him screamed pornstar. If someone like him could do something so… unusual, for a job, maybe wasn’t so bad.

“No,” you decided, “it’s not a problem.”

“Groovy!” he grinned, “I’ll have my manager draw up a contract for you.”

And just like that you were officially Joel Miller’s, aka the infamous Joel Packer, personal assistant.

Joel sat on the tiled steps outside his house, smoking a cigarette, when you pulled up to the curb. He perked up when he saw you, grabbing his worn leather duffel bag before he waltzed down his driveway.

“Cab for Miller?” you joked through the rolled down window, ducking your head to peek up at him.

He chuckled at your joke, pinching his cigarette between two fingers for one last drag, before putting it out with a twist of his shoe. The smog laid low over LA this morning, like a blanket. It was gonna be a long day, and a long drive.

Letting out a small grunt, Joel got in your car. The smell of cigarettes and cologne – the smell of him – filled the space between you. He twisted around tossing his duffel bag into the backseat, and your eyes couldn’t help but land on his bicep, watching the way his muscles flexed under the weight. You felt a sudden urge to roll down the window a little further.

When he turned back around, the smooth wood of your steering wheel looked extremely interesting.

“Thanks for drivin’, sweetheart. My car’s still in the shop for ‘nother few days.”

The corner of your mouth twisted into a small smile, “No problem, Joel.”

“Are we all set?” he breathed out his question before his hands landed on his thighs with a dull smack!

“Um, yes, it’s just…” you turned to look at him. He was dressed casually in jeans and a Steely Dan concert tee – All-American Tour ’74 – with his yellow tinted pilot sunglasses tucked into his neckline.

“Just what, sweetheart?”,

“I picked up a package for you– it’s in the backseat,” you cocked your head in the direction.

“What is it?” he twisted back around, one hand searching for the cardboard box behind his seat.

Even in the smoldering LA heat, you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks heat up. “Um… it’s your package.”

“Yeah, I got that, honey– but what is it?” he asked again, twisting his hand back and placing the cardboard box in his lap.

You let out a small whine, “Don’t make me say it Joel– it’s your package.” You gestured a hand over your nether region.

Joel looked at you with a mischievous smile spreading across his face, “Oh, now I really wanna hear you say it,” he teased, hooking his finger under the tape.

“It’syourdick,” you said quickly, “–the dildo.”

In another step towards furthering Joel Packer’s success, he’d been asked to model for a sextoy. It’s no surprise he’d been asked. With the women’s liberation movement gaining more and more followers every day, more women had been exploring their own sexuality. Joel was popular with both men and women. He was like a chameleon when it came to porn. He knew just what to give, whether that would be hardcore porn, tossing his scene partners around and making them come until they couldn’t anymore; or doing full frontal nudity for a centerfold for Playgirl.

With a drag of the tape, Joel laughed, his shoulders shaking. “I can’t believe you’re still shy about that stuff, sweetheart. You’ve been workin’ for me for how long now, huh? And you still can’t say dick to my face– what do you say to my business partners? Wiener?”

“I’m not shy,” you denied rather unconvincingly, making him shoot you an unimpressed look making you flutter. “I don’t know… it’s just different saying it to you!”

“Why?” he asked, pulling out the box with the dildo he’d modeled for.

Your eyes followed his hands, running over the pink packaging, the handsome photo they’d used of him on the front.

“I-I don’t know… it just is.”

A smile tugged on the corners of his mouth as he hummed – not convinced. Instead, he opened the box, pulling out the sextoy. The company had sent him one before they’d hit the shelves at the end of the month. They were being advertised in Playgirl first – to build up the hype. The sextoy looked exactly like him, and at the same time, nothing like him. The size and shape were true to life (8 inches like they’d advertised on the box), but the color was wrong.

“This is so fuckin’ weird,” he laughed, turning it in his hand, “’s this what I look like?”

“The color looks wrong,” you pointed out. He looked over at you for a beat and then back to the sextoy.

“’s a little… plastic-y,” he commented, “and weird lookin’ without the balls…”

He put the dildo back in the box before he handed it to you. You shook your head and turned the car key, “Just put it back in the backseat.”

“No, ‘s not what I meant,” he nudged your arm with the box, “you have it.”

You were glad the car stood still because the shock of his words would’ve made you get in a car accident.

“Why?” you said, a little flustered.

“Exactly what do women do with a dildo, I wonder?” he teased, nudging your arm again.

“No, Joel, that’s just weird– you’re my boss.” You nudged him back before you put the car in drive.

“You prefer the real thing, then?” a teasing lilt still wrapped around his words.

“Shut up,” you huffed, focusing on driving instead.

“I’m just messin’, sweetheart!” he laughed and threw the box messily behind him.

Leaning forward, Joel pushed the play button on your car radio. The cassette deck whirled before a twangy sound of piano filled your car as you started cruising down the road. A few seconds later Joni Mitchell sang the opening lines of the title track ‘Court and Spark’.

“I need you in charge of the map,” you broke the silence between you after a few minutes, “I don’t know where the house is.”

He opened your glove compartment, pulling out your map of California. You focused on the road while he studied the map.

“Looks like we need to get on the 101– it should take about three hours, Ronald said.”

You hummed. Ronald was Joel’s manager. He’d represented Joel for as long as Joel’s been in porn. Ronald was sleazy, and gross, and you tried to only be in his presence when it was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, for you, Ronald was a good manager, and the reason why Joel Packer was as popular a pornstar as he was.

“When we get to Pismo Beach we’ll just stop and ask around for the address.” Joel said, folding the map.

Usually, Ronald was the one who came along to set with Joel. His reasoning being that there was business to attend to, and that he was supportive of his client, but you knew the real (pervy) reason. You on the other hand had only come along to set a few times. Quick to embarrassment, you’d quickly hid yourself away in Joel’s dressing room, claiming you had work you’d neglected to do.

This time, Ronald couldn’t make it because of scheduling conflicts. Joel was gonna go alone, but then his car had broken down on the 405. He needed a ride, and who else to ask other than the person he paid to help him out. The shoot was taking place at a beach house somewhere in Pismo Beach. You’d never been to Pismo Beach before, and neither had Joel. The booking agent had told you it was nice enough and secluded. Perfect for shooting a porno without bringing too much attention.

Three hours later, you and Joel arrived at the shoot. The beach house was busy and filled with people working like ants to get the film set ready. The shoot was scheduled to last for one day, and as the time flew past 10am, you were starting to get short on time.

As soon as you stepped inside, they ushered Joel straight to make-up and wardrobe. Careful not to be in anybody’s way, you took a look around the house. It was beautiful. Newly built, not more than ten years old you guessed, and right on the beach. Warm wood tones lined the walls and floors, and on the ceilings, sturdy beams met in the middle. A leather couch with matching chairs was turned towards the big floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the beach, and a cowhide rug decorated the floor. They’d set up a step ladder by the windows, all ready for the first scene.

You found Joel a moment later in one of the bedrooms sitting, in a chair as he got his make-up done. You noticed he’d already changed into his costume. A pair of overalls with nothing underneath, and a toolbelt hanging from his hips.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he greeted, his eyes trailing your body.

“Hi,” you smiled, “How you feeling? Can I get you anything?”

He looked at you, a pregnant pause passing between the two of you, “No, not right now.”

“Oh, okay!” you nodded, teeth catching your bottom lip, “Just let me know if there’s anything.”

You moved over to the bed where his clothes were spewed across the bedding. Trying to make yourself useful, you picked them up to fold them.

“D’you know if Tess is ready?” you heard him ask.

Tess was Joel’s scene partner for the day, and also his most frequent scene partner. They’d been in more films together over the past years than you could count, their chemistry always electric. Everything they did was just hot, and this time would be no exception. Tess was playing a neglected housewife all alone in her big beach house until carpenter Joel arrived to help her feel less alone with his tool(s).

“Um, no… I haven’t seen her at all– but I can go find out if you want?” you said, placing his folded t-shirt neatly on the bed.

“No, bless your heart, it’s okay,” he spoke slowly, watching the make-up artist pack up her things before telling him he’s all set.

Left alone with Joel he spoke again, “You gonna watch today?”

His question kicked your heart into gear, stuttering along like a teenager who can’t drive stick. “I-I don’t know yet,” you folded his jeans, “… do you want me to?”

You felt him move closer, but he didn’t answer you. Gathering your courage, you met his eyes. He was watching you with a soft look in his eye, a look he’d sent you more and more often lately.

Grabbing your wrist, his calloused fingers like a warm bracelet, he took his jeans from your hand and placed them down next to his t-shirt.

“I’d like that.”

He said it with a smile, and you couldn’t do anything other than nod.

Joel had started to make you feel lots of things lately. Warm fuzzy feelings bubbled under your skin, just like the warmth from his hand on your wrist right now. Joel was a flirt, cocky and confident. Your complete opposite. You weren’t as shy as you’d been at the start of your job, but you couldn’t help but still be shy around Joel sometimes. Especially when he smiled at you the way he was right now, or when you felt his touch on your body.

The first scene they shot was the intro. A cheesy scene where Joel got invited into Tess the housewife’s home. One too many innuendos about ‘tools’ later, you’d slipped away before lunch time to find the catering table, fixing up a plate for Joel and one for yourself. After lunch, the fun began as the director had said.

“Hey, sweetheart?” Joel’s fingers brushed over the back of your arm, getting your attention. You were about to go sit in his director’s chair, to watch as you’d promised.

“Yeah, Joel?” you looked at him through your lashes, your face curious. You tried very hard to keep them on his face, and not to let them wander to the outline of his hard cock through his overalls.

“Could you go get me some lube?” he asked you, eyes pleading.

“Oh! Um–” you nervously perked up, “Yes, of course,” you nodded, turning around yourself on the spot like you were already on the lookout.

“Thanks!” His hand landed on your shoulder, turning you to focus back on him, fingers rubbed over the material of your shirt. He was smiling at you, a small glint in his eye as he took you in. It made something inside you flutter, your eyes eclipsing over.

“OK guys! Quiet on set!” the director called, pulling you and Joel from your moment. His hand fell from your shoulder, a sorry smile draped across his face.

Slipping away, you went on a hunt for lube. When you came back you were met with the deep grunts of Joel as he got his cock sucked. He was fully naked, standing at the edge of the bed with Tess naked and dutifully on her knees for him – pleasuring him to heaven by the looks of it.

“There you go, baby,” he praised Tess, his big hand entangled in her hair as he pushed himself deeper down her throat. “You like sucking cock, don’t you? Like cheating on your husband like the dirty fuckin’ whore you are, huh?”

You knew he was just reading off his lines, but he said them like he hadn’t practiced at all, it was all so natural. Stumbling backwards towards his director’s chair, you sat down. You felt drawn to the scene before you, caught up in the moment, in the sounds of Joel’s moans and Tess’ spluttering around his cock. Never had you allowed yourself to watch him this openly before – it sent an electric pulse to your core.

Tess gave him head for a few minutes more, filth and praises fell from Joel’s mouth as the cameraman dutifully got every angle. Mesmerized by the scene playing out before you, a small pit started to form in your stomach – a mixture of pleasure and… jealousy. You shifted in the chair at the thought of you on your knees for him instead, pleasuring him and pulling those moans from his lips. Wondering if the praising words he told Tess, would sound different if it was you he told them to instead. You didn’t realize how caught up in the sight in front of you until you heard someone call your name.

It was Joel.

Shaking yourself from your fantasy daydreaming, you pulled yourself together. They’d changed positions while the cameraman changed the film. Joel was now sat on his knees on the bed with his cock standing to attention. On her back, he had Tess’ legs parted and splayed open in front of him.

Why was he talking to you?

He called your name again, figuring you hadn’t heard him over the humming of conversation now filling up the set. You hopped off the chair and nervously scurried over to him.

“What’s up?” you whispered. Your eyes were glued to his face, not daring to glide them even an inch downwards.

He hooked his fingers around your thumb. On his face he was wearing the widest grin, “Could you grab me some water?”

His touch sent your brain into overdrive, your eyes blinking around his question, “Y-yes– I’ll be right back.” His touch fell, and you scurried away to find him some water before they started filming again.

Back, and with a bottle of water in your hand you allowed yourself one quick look at his naked body. His broad chest, the way his muscles moved underneath his tan skin. Your eyes raked over his body, down his stomach, trailing the happy trial down to his impressive cock.

“Okay, everybody– we’re all set!” The loud voice of the director made you jump. Joel handed back the bottled water, a rough hand wiping the corner of his mouth.

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

If he’d clocked you checking him out, he didn’t show it. Instead, he got ready while you made your way back to his director’s chair. Tess said something you couldn’t quite catch, but it got his attention. He grinned from ear to ear, a quick look in your direction, before he playfully shook his head at her.

The next scene had you squirming in your seat.

With his head between her legs, Joel used both his mouth and fingers to pleasure her – and Tess was clearly enjoying herself. Her hands were digging into his hair, pushing him greedily down onto her pussy. High pitched, pornographic moans and whimpers escaped her. Joel was clearly enjoying himself too, moaning and groaning into her pussy as he ate her out greedily, making sure to pull every ounce of pleasure from her.

Tess came with a cry, withering breathlessly as she squirmed in Joel’s hold. He held her shaking legs in a tight grip, not letting up his licking and sucking until he’d pulled another orgasm from her. With a breathless laugh she pushed him away, big wide smile spreading as he peppered kisses to the inside of her thigh. You shifted slightly in your seat. An unmistakable wetness had gathered in your panties. You crossed your leg over the other, subtly.

With a tap to her thigh Joel encouraged Tess to turn over. He sat up, resting back on his heels as he stroked his cock languidly. Tess moved onto all fours, arching her back and putting herself on display for him. The camera moved in closer, a watchful eye, as Joel ran a finger through her folds.

“So wet for me, baby,” he said, replacing his fingers with the head of his cock. “This pussy’s been neglected, hasn’t it? ‘s just dying to be fucked.”

He thrusted inside her, burying himself in her pussy, moans and groans falling from both their lips. You felt the air stand still for a beat, before he pulled back and thrusted back inside. They quickly built up a rhythm, skin slap slap slapping, as their moans held the tune. They moved in sync. Joel kept up the pace, hands holding her waist firmly, while Tess met them with a breathy moan. When she gripped the sheets in pleasure, you wondered if it really felt as good as she let on, or if it was all just part of the show.

“Face the camera,” the director interrupted suddenly. He wanted a close up of Tess getting fucked.

Joel slipped out of her, the bright lights catching on his glistening cock. The sight of Tess’ arousal reminded you, and the bottle of lube in your lap, about your insignificancy. Joel quickly slipped back inside Tess, a hand gripping her shoulder as he picked up the pace again.

“Just like that, baby, you feel so fuckin’ good around my cock.”

You felt silly, the reality of what you’d just done settling in. Why on earth would you agree to watch Joel? Pornstar or not, he’s still your boss. Your longing for him to be something else, would never erase that fact.

Disappointment was a heavy rope tying you down. You needed to get out of there before you hurt your own feelings. Sliding out of the chair, you left the bottle of lube. Straightening out your suede skirt, let out a quiet sigh. You didn’t want to look at him, but something drew you to him either way.

You locked eyes immediately, his eyes were dark and intense. He picked up the pace, Tess almost screaming with pleasure underneath him, but his eyes still didn’t leave yours. You couldn’t look away. The world narrowed until the only thing you could see was him.

With a grunt and a firm thrust, Joel came inside her, mouth parted in pleasure and eyes never leaving yours.

Squeezed into a flimsy plastic chair, feet planted steadily in front of him, Joel sat smoking a cigarette by the pool. Ripples of blue swam across his face, before giving way to the soft warmth of the burning cigarette. He looked deep in thought as you got out of your car, a plastic bag of take-out swinging from your hand. You slammed the door shut, jolting Joel from his thoughts. The evening wind softly kissed your bare arms as you walked across the parking lot to the fenced in pool area.

The shoot had run long and by the time it was over, it was late. Joel was tired, and when he’d suggested you stay at a motel for the night, you’d been quick to agree. Watching the darkening sky, you’d started to dread the three-hour drive back to LA – you’d rather wait for daylight.

Situated right off the main road Joel had spotted a Motel 6 with the neon ‘Vacancy’ light humming. With tired steps you’d walked together towards the lobby, and the lady at the desk didn’t look up from her magazine when you and Joel approached. Behind her, coming through the door to the back office, you heard a laugh track.

Joel turned on his southern charm, “’Scuse me, ma’am.”

The receptionist still didn’t look up from her magazine.

“Do y’all have two rooms vacant?”

With a sigh, the woman looked up at him, peering over her glasses. “We only have one Queen left.” She smacked her lips together obnoxiously as she spoke, a piece of gum visible in her teeth.

Joel looked over at you, one eyebrow raised. Crossing your arms over your chest, you didn’t know what to say. If they only had one room, they only had one room. You tapped your foot restlessly, made a face like you were thinking it over before you gave Joel a short but affirmative nod. He watched you for another beat, before he turned back around to say, “We’ll take it.”

The room was nothing much; a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room, two chairs and a table tucked into one corner, and a door leading to a small bathroom. First thing Joel did was find a place to put his bag. You didn’t have a bag, only your handbag, you hadn’t planned on not sleeping in your own bed tonight. Joel, on the other hand, always brought a change of clothes to set. He’d told you once he didn’t like to leave in the same clothes he’d arrived in.

As you closed in on Joel by the pool you realized he was still wearing his clothes from this morning. He’d told you he wanted to shower, so you’d gone out to get you both some dinner to give him some privacy. Now you wondered if he’d even had his shower.

“Hungry?” you asked, putting the plastic bag down on the round table beside him.

He took a deep drag of his cigarette, watching you through a cheeky smile, “Starvin’.”

“The only thing open was the roadside diner, so I’m afraid it’s greasy burgers.”

Joel gave you a shrug as you sat down, “Works for me.”

You ate in silence – sloshing coming from the pool and the cicadas hiding in the bushes, filled the air instead. When Joel finished his burger, and started on his fries, he looked up at you.

“So, what’d you think?” he asked you. You were silent for a second, before you looked down at the burger in your hand.

“Er...” you hesitated, not sure what he wanted you to say, “It’s not bad... meat’s a little dry, but–”

Joel interrupted your train of thought with a deep chuckle.

“I meant the porno, darlin’,” he said, using one of the napkins to wipe the corners of his mouth, “not the burger.” A smile pulled at his lips.

“Oh,” you said, and felt your cheeks fire up in embarrassment. You swallowed, buying yourself some time before you gave him a shrug.

“Was good,” you said, clearing your throat awkwardly, “I’m sure your fans will love it!”

“I wasn’t askin’ about them,” Joel said. His gaze felt like it was piercing through you, “Was askin’ you, wasn’t I? Did you like it?”

Despite the desperate embarrassment firing through your veins, you raised an eyebrow. “You’re asking me about porn over dinner?”

“Fair point,” he said with a nod, “You’re deflecting, though.”

A small chuckle escaped you, a smile tugging on the corner of your mouth as you shook your head and looked away for a second.

“What do you want me to say?” you asked him, looking back at him, “It’s porn, I’m human... of course I liked it.”

Bingo.

You can see from the corners of Joel’s smile that he’s happy with that answer, and he lets out an agreeing hum.

“See?” he said, his tone teasing, “Was that so hard to admit?”

“You’re unbelievable,” you said through a small scoff, pushing your styrofoam container away from you as you fell back in your chair.

“I am–… what was your favorite part?”

He was grinning hard now. He dug a hand in his back pocket, fishing out his packet of cigarettes and his lighter. You watched him with your head tilted, waiting for him to let you off the hook like he usually did. Instead, he grinned even wider, small splutters of breathy giggles making the cigarette dip as he tried to light it.

“Gimmie that!” you commanded, reaching out your hand for his cigarette. With a surprised eyebrow he took a quick drag before he handed it over. He watched you quietly as you took a breath. Savoring the first tar-y breath filling up your lungs.

“I liked the way you…” you took another drag and exhaled through your nose, “I don’t know…” you handed him the cigarette.

“I’m waitin’,” he teased, making you playfully roll your eyes at him.

“Well,” you sighed, “I liked the way you’re so attentive and made sure she’s feeling good even though it’s acting and everything… Even when you’re like throwing her around, all in charge and stuff.” You waved away the words.

“Yeah, well, that is the most important part of sex,” he gave you a look. Suddenly, he was a little serious. “It’s not fun if she’s not havin’ fun.”

“Not every guy thinks like that, you know,” you spoke, “it’s really nice that you do.”

Joel hummed at your words before a comfortable silence fell over you. You listened to the buzzing cicadas and the burning of Joel’s cigarette every time he took a drag.

“And… the dirty talk was hot too– you’re good at that,” you mused after a moment, breaking the silence, feeling comfortable enough with Joel to tell him the truth. He doesn’t judge you about what you think was sexy, and you realized it felt nice to open up to somebody, to let your suffocating shame die.

“Now, darlin’,” you could hear the smile in his voice, “now you’re just strokin’ my ego.”

“I can stroke more than your ego.”

Joel choked on his cigarette, coughing around the smoke before he looked over at you with wide eyes. “Am I goin’ crazy, or did you just tell a dirty joke?”

Your giggle filled the air between you before you leaned forward for his cigarette again. You brought it to your mouth as you impishly shrugged. Inside, you buzzed with a fluttery feeling.

You smiled at him. “I don’t know– you tell me.”

He playfully narrowed his eyes at you, leaning over the table to get a good look at you, “I’m not sure I’m likin’ this… where’s my sweet girl, huh?”

My sweet girl.

Your heart skipped like stones over water, and you had to look away. A smile blooming across your face. You heard him let out a sweet chuckle before he stood from his chair. The plastic feet scraping ever so slightly against the concrete. You watched him as he stepped before you, squatting down to be at eye level with you, his big hand landing on your exposed knee to steady himself.

“She’s still here,” you whispered after a moment. The cigarette between your fingers was burning out, but your whole body felt like it was on fire, a burning spreading from under his touch.

“I know she is, sweetheart,” he whispered back, his fingers rubbing gently over your skin. Joel looked at you with attentive eyes, “I love how shy you get for me.”

Before you had time to process his words, he pinched the cigarette from your fingers and stood to his feet. “Let’s call it a night?” he asked you, offering up his hand for you to take.

Feeling brave, you took his hand. It dwarfed your own, but it was strong, and warm in your hold. You watched as Joel finished off the cigarette, and stumped it out in the ashtray on the table, before gathering up your trash. You walked back to your room, hands intertwined and swinging between you. You couldn’t shake the thought of how you wished he’d kissed you.

Back inside your room he let you use the bathroom first. It was small, and the air was damp. You could see droplets of water clinging to the shower curtain. Joel did shower after all, he’d rinsed the day off into the drain. With no toiletries, you made do with what the motel offered. A bar of soap was sufficient enough to remove your make-up, but you knew your skin would punish you for it later. After brushing your teeth, you stepped back out where Joel waited for you on the bed.

“I’ve got a spare shirt if you wanna borrow it.” He held up his hand, handing you the clean cotton shirt he’d packed.

“Thanks,” you smiled shyly.

He watched you for a beat, his eyes soft, but tired. “And I’ll sleep in one of the chairs– don’t want ya worryin’ about nothin’.”

Shaking your head, you protested, “No, Joel, you’ve had a long day! I’ll sleep in the chair!”

This time he shook his head, a small chuckle escaping his mouth, “No, darlin’, you’re drivin’ tomorrow, remember? You’ll need your rest.”

Your eyebrows met in a furrow. He was right; you couldn’t do the drive back to LA tomorrow on no sleep, but you couldn’t live with yourself if he didn’t get any sleep either.

“Let’s just…” you trailed off, “You’re tired, I’m tired– let’s both sleep in the bed?” you suggested.

Crawling under the sheets clad in only your underwear and Joel’s t-shirt, you wondered if you were being unprofessional. This was technically a work trip. Joel was still your boss. You looked over at him where he sat on the edge with his back turned, fiddling with the alarm clock. Your eyes trailed over his bare back, tan and strong. You knew you could stare at him all night.

It was official: you’d left professional at the door.

Finally, the alarm clock set for tomorrow morning, Joel put it back on the nightstand. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he caught your eyes on his body. It made him smile.

“Joel? Can I ask you something?”

He got under the sheets, his foot grazing against yours as he got comfortable. “Yeah, sweetheart.”

“Can you turn off the light?”

“You needn’t ask me if you can ask me, to turn off the light,” he laughed, “you can just say ‘Joel, turn off the light’.”

You scrunched your face together. This was coming out all wrong. “No, I mean… I don’t think I can ask you my question with the lights still on.”

He looked you over with a warm smile before he leaned over and turned off the light on his nightstand. “There… what you want to ask me?”

Even bathed in darkness, you hesitated to speak. “Um… I guess…” you started, not knowing how to ask what you wanted to ask. You turned over on your back and stared at the ceiling, cursing the return of your shyness.

Joel waited for you patiently to gather your courage.

“How much… of porn, is fake?” you finally uttered.

Joel turned to his side, facing you, “What do you mean?”

“Like… when– when the girls…” You couldn’t say it.

“Come?”, he helped.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “is that real or… like– do they actually like it?”

“Right…”

Joel thought about your question, “’s hard to say… I mean mostly it’s real– at least in my experience– like I can feel it around my cock or fingers… but everybody has off days, and not everybody can come from penetration.”

Mostly it’s real. You went quiet, silently thinking about his answer as you stared a hole in the ceiling. Not everybody can come from penetration.

“Why you askin’ me this, sweetheart?” He shifted a little closer.

You pulled your hands from under the sheets, resting them over your chest. Your thumb on your right hand found your thumb on the left where it picked at the skin.

“Huh?”

“I– I don’t know… it’s silly.”

“No, ‘s not– you’re not silly, sweetheart.” He shifted a little closer, a reassuring hand falling over your own and stopping you from picking at your fingers.

You didn’t say anything, and you didn’t look at him either. You felt silly. You’d just complimented him earlier about how attentive he comes across in bed, and now you’re asking him if any of it was even real.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” Joel asked, breaking the silence between you.

Nodding your head, you hummed.

“Are you a virgin?”

His question almost made you jump. Suddenly, his previously calming hands over yours felt heavy. A fire started in your cheeks. You were mortified, and it felt crazy. If you were back home right now, you’d be mortified to tell anyone you weren’t a virgin seeing as you were unmarried. Now, with Joel, you felt mortified he thought you were one.

“No,” you peeped. It would’ve sounded like a lie if it wasn’t the truth. “W-what makes you say that?” You finally looked at him, your eyes wide as saucers.

Unconvinced, he gave you a lopsided smile, “How many have you slept with?”

“How many have you slept with?” you mumbled.

“Honey, we both know that I’ve slept with way too many to count.” He said it with a teasing lilt to his voice, and a comforting rub of his thumb over the back of your hand. His small touch was enough to relax you, to bring you back from the ledge of mortification. This was Joel for god’s sake. He would never judge you; you knew that.

“One…” you whispered, “Only one person.”

With a hum, Joel shifted over to lay on his back, but his thumb still rubbed circles over your skin. “So– you’re asking me this ‘cause it was bad?” he mused.

“I don’t know… maybe,” you whispered.

“You don’t know if it was bad– or you don’t know why you’re askin’ me if women enjoy sex?”

“The latter,”

“So, it was bad,” he concluded, before he whispered, mostly to himself.

The silence was back, speaking loudly between the two of you as you both processed what the other had just said. After a beat Joel turned back on his side to face you again.

“Tell me– how bad was it?” He said it softly, a tenderness in his voice you hadn’t heard before.

“It just… it hurt.”

You sighed, and for the first time since the light went out you turned your head to look at him. “John–” your face scrunched up in a grimace as you spoke his name, like you couldn’t believe you were telling him this story. “He worked in accounting, and we were going around, you know? Went on a few dates. He was a sweet guy. After the third date we went back to his place, for a drink. He kissed me– and then we were making out, and during everything I just thought ‘This might as well happen’. I thought I wanted to lose my virginity… and I liked John– so why not. But then he just… pulled off my underwear, didn’t even touch me and… went to town.”

Joel sucked a breath through his teeth, his hand gripping yours a little tighter. “Did you– have you ever had an orgasm?”

You shifted uncomfortably under his question and turned your head back towards the ceiling again. “Yes,” you whispered.

Joel moved a little closer, and you felt your body dip towards him from his weight against the mattress. His hand resting over yours traveled down your arm, and under the sheet.

“By your own hand then,” he said it more like a statement than a question.

You felt your heart beat out of your chest, as something in the air between you shifted. Underneath the covers your body burned. Sucking in a breath, you held it for a moment before you nodded.

“Show me.”

His hand grazed over your waist, fingers dancing over the exposed skin between the hem of his t-shirt and the waistband of your panties. You reveled in it, his touch, his proximity, his gentle kiss to your shoulder. You looked at him, searched his face for any indication that he was just messing with you.

“No? Ain’t feelin’ it?” He’d watched you too, you realized.

He withdrew his hand from your waist, and you panicked, “No!”

He stopped, instead hovering his hand over your body. “No, you ain’t feelin’ it, or no, don’t stop?” he asked you.

You panicked again. “Yes!” you said before your eyebrows met in a furrow, “I-I’m sorry, this isn’t very sexy.”

Joel withdrew his hand from your body, and your disappointment sank like a rock in water, but then he cupped your jaw and you forgot to breathe.

“Forget about sexy, sweetheart,” he told you, a calloused thumb rubbing against your skin, “not that you ain’t sexy– you are, but I need you to relax, okay?”

You nodded, and a smile spread wide across his face,

“Good girl.”

You almost mewled at the praise, and he noticed, a wicked smile spreading across his face.

“You liked that, huh?” he teased, rubbing his thumb softly over your lower lip, “Y’like being a good girl for me?”

You found it hard to think with him so close, breathless when he touched you like this. You nodded slowly; moony eyes fixated on him. Like a reflex, your legs rubbed together under the sheets, aching to relieve the pressure building.

“You’re so sweet, baby– and shy,” his voice was low, like he was afraid someone would hear him. Slowly he leaned closer, pressing the softest kiss to your neck. A quiet whimper fell from your lips.

You felt Joel’s smile against your skin, teeth nipping as he pressed kiss after kiss to your sensitive skin. “You make my cock so fuckin’ hard.”

“Joel,” you finally choked out, a wet patch already soiling your panties.

“Yes?” he took your earlobe in his mouth, gently biting down on it before letting it go. You couldn’t think – at least not about something that wasn’t Joel and his touch.

“P-please kiss me?” you tried, your hand landing on his shoulder.

His breath puffed against your skin in a small chuckle, before he lifted his face from his new home in the crook of your neck. He found your blown out face, watching you with a tenderness in his eye. A beat passed and then he leaned closer, brushing his lips over yours. Your hand on his shoulder followed his neck to cup his face, keeping him close to you. His hand pushed gently at the sheets, revealing your upper body to him. The kiss was tender and slow, your noses pressed together. He pulled you apart and then put you together again. One of his hands trailed along the hem of your – his – t-shirt where he pushed at the fabric, bunching it just below your breasts. You broke apart.

“Was that all you wanted, sweet girl? Just a kiss?” His forehead touched your own, words low and taunting. You slowly shook your head, eyes still locked with Joel’s. His hand moved methodically, trailing down your stomach until it reached…

Your breath hitched in your throat.

“No?” he asked with a teasing grin, “What do you want then, sweetheart?”.

He already knew. His open palm cupped you over your soaked panties, the breadth of it pressing firmly down on your clit. You mewled under him, hips bucking up to meet his hand.

“Nah-ah,” he lifted his head from your forehead, dark eyes boring into yours. “You need to show me.”

Joel had started a dangerous fire inside of you. It lapped at your insides, burned away your insecurities, and replaced them with lust. With a shaky hand, your hand found Joel’s. His eyes were still locked on you – his gaze burning your cheek and branding you his.

“There you go,” he praised, letting you guide his hand up and down your clothed cunt, feeling your arousal seep through the fabric, “good girl.”

You guided him to your clit, pressing the pads of his finger down on it in tight circles. You were so sensitive – on edge since you watched him filming earlier – a small moan fell from your lips.

“Feels good doesn’t it, baby, getting your clit rubbed.”

“Yes…” Joel drew another moan from you.

Your grip around his hand loosened, and Joel took over. With a practiced hand he circled his fingers just right. He started with a steady pace and tight circles, before he put more pressure on your aching bud. He was bringing you closer and closer to the edge, coaxing small whimpers and breathy moans from your lips as you got more and more lost in the pleasure he was giving you.

“Have you ever fingered yourself, sweetheart?” he asked you, dipping his hand beneath your panties. A bold finger ran through your folds, a finger teasing at your entrance.

Your front teeth caught your lower lip, and you had to bite down to suppress a moan. It was hard to concentrate on what he was asking you when he was touching you like that.

“Y-yes, but…” you trailed off, feeling his finger, now coated in your arousal, back on your clit. It made your brain go blank.

“But what, sweet girl?” he pulled his hand from your panties, and you whined.

A wet trail followed him up your stomach. When you made no move to answer, a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Leaning closer he pressed a short but tender kiss to your lips; his mustache tickled your cupid’s bow.

“It’s too messy,” you said when he pulled back, shaking your head.

“Yeah? You’ve got a messy pussy, sweetheart?”

Joel leaned down again, pressing soft fluttering kisses down your throat. When he reached the collar of your shirt, he pulled at the fabric, exposing your collarbone to his kisses. Your hands found his hair, tethering you to the moment.

“Yes,” you whispered, heat burning your cheeks at the confession he pulled from you.

With a wide grin, Joel sat up. His fingers found the hem of your shirt. He helped you pull it over your head, exposing your naked chest to him. Not even a second later he was back to kissing his way down your body, worshiping you with every press. You burned under him, every kiss like a small death.

Shifting on the bed, he settled between your legs. His mustache tickled the skin on your tummy, making you giggle. You felt Joel’s smile against your skin, at the sound of your fluttering laugh. He let his lips brush over your skin, trailing downwards to the top of your panties where he pressed a kiss, teeth pulling at the small bow like you were a present to be unwrapped, before his fingers hooked around the elastic. With a lift of your hips, you let him pull off your panties. The wet spot in the center clung to your cunt, as he peeled them off.

“Fuck,” he cursed, “wanna taste you, baby, wanna taste that messy pussy.”

With his fingers back on your cunt, you jumped a little under his touch. The air filled with a slick sound of your arousal as he ran them through your folds, a finger teasing your entrance.

“Relax for me baby,” he soothed, gently pressing kisses to the soft skin of your inner thigh, “I’ll take care of you.”

Looking down at him between your legs, you let yourself go. His eyes bored into yours. Warmth and lust, and nothing but affection behind them.

You nodded, “Please.”

A wide grin blossomed across Joel’s face as he leaned down, hovering just above your clit. He ducked forward, pressing the softest kiss to your clit, taking it slow and easing you into it with slow licks. You couldn’t help the whimpers escaping you, a needy sound desperate for more – more Joel. He pinned you down with his arm splayed over your tummy, keeping you right where he wanted you, turning you into a withering moaning mess under him.

Joel continued exploring you with his tongue. Changing between flicking and lapping at your clit, circling it just right, and wrapping his lips around it, giving it gentle sucks. He lapped at your folds, the hook of his nose catching on your clit as he tasted you properly. You felt yourself pushed closer and closer towards the edge, coxed by Joel.

Two careful fingers spread you apart, gliding up and down, coated in your arousal. He easily found your entrance to push a finger carefully inside. You felt yourself clench down on him; you couldn’t help it. You were so sensitive and so close. Dropping your mouth open, a breathy moan escaped.

“Oh, fuck,”

Joel hummed against your pussy, the vibrations traveling straight to the coil tightening in your tummy. Slowly, he started thrusting his finger inside, rewarded by a slick sound, telling him just how wet and desperate you were for him. With a moan your head rolled back into the pillow – you were so close.

“Joel,” you panted.

His tongue continued his assault on your clit, and you lost yourself in him. You clamped down on his finger with every thrust. You didn’t know how much longer you could take it. Joel was so focused on you, so attentive, so responsive. Between your legs he drank in every twist of pleasure and whimpering moan.

“Joel,” you panted again.

“You’re gonna come for me aren’t you, sweetheart? Be a good girl and make a mess on my face.” he coaxed.

Joel quickly withdrew his finger to slip in another, and the new stretch had your legs shaking. His tongue circled your clit, sucking it with just the right amount of pressure. Underneath him you squirmed, breathy moans hitching in your throat.

“Oh, god,”

You couldn’t answer him. Couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t take it anymore.

With a silent cry, you came. His strong arm over your tummy held you down, as you twitched against the mattress, legs shaking. You’d never felt anything like this before. A pleasure so all-consuming you couldn’t remember your name, or where you were – only Joel. He helped you through it. His fingers kept up their pace, pads brushing right up against that spot of bliss, as you clenched down hard around them. You gripped the sheets, desperate for a lifeline as you came down.

Joel slowed down his fingers, pressing soft kisses to your clit. Your pleasure turning to overstimulation – now you definitely couldn’t take it anymore. Fragile and sensitive, you pushed him away with a shaky hand.

He let you push him around, his lips finding the inside of your thighs instead, where his mustache teased the sensitive skin. With one last kiss, Joel pulled away. You almost didn’t register the dip in the mattress as he laid down beside you. You were somewhere else entirely, floating away on a post-orgasm-cloud.

“Joel, shit, I…” you tried to speak, your voice hoarse with exhaustion.

“I know, sweetheart,” Joel answered. He pulled you closer, wrapping a hand around you. Slowly, you turned to your side, engulfed in Joel’s embrace.

“D-did you want to–”

You could feel the presence of his hard clothed cock pressed against your ass, but his big safe arms around you told you a different story. He nosed at the back of your neck, pressing fluttering kisses to the skin, making goosebumps erupt.

“No, darlin’, not tonight,” his voice was just above a whisper, the bass vibrating against your ear.

“Are you sure? I-I mean– we can if you want to,” you spluttered. He’d just given you the best orgasm in your life, he shouldn’t have to go to bed without one for himself.

“Not tonight,” he said, pressing a kiss behind your ear, “It’s been a long day– I’m tired, you’re tired… let’s just sleep, my sweet girl.”

“S-should we talk about this?” you asked, your hand slipping into his, pressing it against your naked chest.

“In the mornin’,” he hummed, voice coated in sleep.

With heavy eyelids, you fell asleep in Joel’s arms. The safety of being wrapped up in him, lulled you into a peaceful slumber. The motel bed was hard and uncomfortable, and the pillow thin and flimsy, but it didn’t matter in Joel’s arms.

Morning came too quickly, and with a screeching sound of an alarm clock that pulled you from heaven. Jolting awake behind you, Joel groaned. His hands slipped from your body; the warmth exchanged with prickling goosebumps. You shifted over on your back, watching as Joel turned off the alarm. The beeping stopped, and with a tired grunt Joel laid down back beside you. When he looked at you – his tired eyes glinting – a sleepy smile pulled at his lips.

“Mornin’,”

“Good morning, Joel” you smiled back.

“It is a good mornin’, isn’t it?” he hummed, turning on his side.

You mirrored him, shifting closer and resting your head on his pillow. He snaked a hand over the dip in your waist, big hand splaying over your naked back.

“It is,” you agreed, locking eyes with him.

Rubbing in slow circles, his hand on your back was soothing. You reveled in it, reveled in Joel, in the bliss of being so close to him. You shifted even closer, resting your forehead to his chest.

“You should probably fire me,” you mumbled into his skin, “I’ve been extremely unprofessional.”

A chuckle came from deep inside Joel, it vibrated through his skin, where you felt it under your fingertips.

“I ain’t firin’ my best employee,” he laughed, placing a dry kiss to the top of your head.

You pulled away with a frown, head back on your own pillow. “This is like the cliché of clichés, Joel– sleeping with your assistant…”

In the bright light of the day, you cursed yourself for your late-night moment of weakness. You’ve never done anything like this before. What if this will be all that Joel wants from you from now on? You don’t think your heart could take it if it was.

Joel’s laugh died in his throat, his eyebrows meeting in a frown. “Who said anything about sleepin’ with my assistant?”

Your eyes widened with mortification. Shit. A hand came up to rub at your face, as you sat up, pulling the sheets around you.

“Hey, no, sweetheart,” Joel grabbed at your hand, stopping you in your tracks.

You couldn’t look at him – afraid tears would push behind your eyes. He’s a pornstar, what were you thinking? You were just a girl. A girl to warm his bed for a night. How could you put your job on the line for something like this?

The sheets rustled as he shifted closer, “Please, lay down, I need to talk to you.”

“Joel, I-I’m sorry– w-we can just forget about it– I’ll quit, don’t worry about it– me, don’t worry about me,” you stuttered out, your back still turned.

“I ain’t forgettin’ about nothin’, sweetheart– shit, d’you think I do this often?”

His question made you turn around. He was propped up on his elbow, carefully watching you.

You nodded, and he sighed.

“It’s been years since I’ve slept with someone outside of work,” he confessed, “Shit, I don’t even seek it out, I ain’t interested in it.”

“I-I’m sorry Joel, I–” you started, but he cut you off,

“You’re not listenin’,” he shook his head, “what I’m sayin’ is: I wanna sleep with you.”

Your face scrunched up in a confused frown, “Because I’m someone from work?”

Joel let out a breathless chuckle, “No, sweetheart, ‘s because I think you’re beautiful.”

His words almost didn’t register.

“What?”

This time his laugh is loud and golden, coated in happiness. He pulled at your hand, and you fell, your back hitting the sheets.

“You are…” he emphasized, cupping your cheek, and guiding you back in his embrace. “And you’re a shy little thing, aren’t you? But so smart, and kind, and caring– someone you can’t help but fall in love with.”

“Fall in love with?” you repeated, you couldn’t believe what he was telling you.

“Yeah, sweet girl,” he smiled at you, all teeth, and crinkles around his eyes in the morning light.

“Oh,”

“Yeah,” he laughed, guiding your face closer to his, his lips brushing over yours, “wanna make you mine, sweetheart.”

His kiss stole your breath and twisted you up inside. He licked at the seam, and you opened yourself to him. He licked into your mouth, one arm snaked around your body, drawing you closer, pulling whine after desperate whine from you and stealing your breath.

Landing on your hip, his hand traveled downwards – over the thick of your thigh, and down the inside in smooth motions. He tugged on your leg, pulling it to rest over his hip, his hard cock rutting into your bare heat. His kiss got more desperate; his tongue melded with yours. It was hot, and dizzying and all-consuming all at the same time.

You grinded against him, feeling his hard cock against you. The fabric of his underwear caught on your clit, rubbing it just right, your arousal darkening the fabric. You moaned into his mouth, a desperate need for Joel building deep in your stomach.

With a rut of his hips, he broke away from your kiss. “You want me to fill up this perfect little pussy, don’t you baby?” His hand on your cheek disappeared between your bodies.

“Yes,” you tried to say, but the words got stuck in your throat when you felt the head of Joel’s cock rub up and down your folds. Your heavy breathing, the slick sound of your arousal the only sound in the room.

“Listen’ baby, y’hear how wet you are for me?” he whispered in awe, the head of his cock caught on your clit. You braced yourself with a hand to his shoulder, breathy pants the only sounds leaving your lips.

“You’re desperate for it, aren’t you?” he chuckled. He let go of the grip around his cock, the sound of it slapping against his stomach obscene. A beat later he swiped his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal before drawing tight circles to your clit.

Your face squeezed shut in pleasure, your fingers dug into his shoulder. He eased a finger inside, before he quickly pulled out and added another. The stretch of his fingers was easy, your arousal dripping over his knuckles as he thrusted them inside with ease.

You grinded down on his hand, meeting his thrusts, forcing his fingers deeper inside. Always so attentive, Joel curled his fingers where they hit your spot perfectly, just like he’d done last night. A breathy squeal fell from your lips.

“That’s it, sweetheart, let me hear you,” he egged you on.

“Joel, please,” you panted. Sparks traveled through your body, collecting in a pit in your stomach where it coiled in on itself, aching for release.

He curled his fingers again, and hit your spot – his palm snug against your throbbing clit, “Fuckin’ perfect you are, darlin’, so tight and wet around my fingers.”

“Shit,”

He pushed you straight for the edge, your walls fluttered around his fingers. Your panting got heavier, your eyes squeezed shut, you’re so close. Joel chuckled, his breath puffing your face and he… pulled away.

You whined at the emptiness, opening your eyes to see him staring at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

He cupped your jaw, “Poor baby,” he pouted before he pulled you in for a kiss. You sighed into him, desperate to feel him anyway he wanted.

“Turn around,” he ordered against your lips, his hand letting go of your jaw to tap at the top of your hip.

You did as he told you, turning around in his hold to press your ass against him, feeling his hard cock pressed against you. Behind you, you heard him let out a deep and guttural groan. His hand hooked under your thigh, lifting it to your chest and exposing your wet and desperate cunt for him. You let him manhandle you into the position he wants, trusting him to know what’ll feel the best.

He guided the tip of his cock through your soaked folds coating it in your arousal before grazing it over your throbbing clit.

“You ready, sweetheart?” he whispered in your ear, like a hiss. He lined himself up with your entrance, teasing you, and himself.

“I-I need it, Joel, please,” you begged, a hand clinging to the sheets.

“Yeah? You need it, sweetheart? Need this big cock to fill you up?” he asked, pushing just the tip inside.

“Joel, please, please,” you whimpered, almost a squeak. In one fluid motion he pushed inside, burying himself to the hilt inside you. The stretch of him was overwhelming, but the angle had you seeing stars.

“Ah– fuck,” you cried, your eyes immediately squeezing shut. Your hand searched for his where it held your leg to your chest. You needed to anchor yourself to him, afraid you’d fall apart right there and then.

“You alright sweetheart?” you heard him whisper in your ear, and you nodded slightly, “Feel good?”

“Yes, Joel,” you whimpered, mouth dipping open in pleasure.

Behind you he groaned into your ear, cursing in hushed whispers. “That’s it, good fuckin’ girl, takin’ all that cock inside,” he pulled out nearly all the way, taking his time with it, moving with practiced motions.

“Shit,” you mewled as he bottomed out inside for the second time. Grinding against your ass, he pushed himself as deep as he possible could – you felt him in your fucking stomach, he was so deep.

“You can take it, sweetheart,” he told you, pulling out and thrusting back inside.

Picking up the pace, Joel started fucking into you deep and hard. With each grind of his hips against your ass, with every thrust, he made sure to bury his thick cock as deep inside as he could, angling his cock expertly so the head rubbed up against your spot. Behind you he grunted and moaned in your ear. It was sweaty and hot, and sticky between your legs.

He let go of your leg, ordering you to press it to your chest, as his hand traveled downwards to brush his fingers over your throbbing clit.

“Joel,” you mewled. He pulled a symphony of whimpers and moans from you with every thrust.

“This pussy’s so fuckin’ tight– shit,” he panted in your ear, “You’re so good for me baby, takin’ that cock so well.”

His fingers pressed down on your clit, drawing tight circles, pushing you towards the edge of bliss. You squirmed against him, hips meeting his with every thrust as you start to chase your fast approaching orgasm.

“Need you to come for me, sweetheart– squeeze that cock like a good girl.”

“Joel,” you cried and let go. Your walls fluttered around his cock as you came, back arching off his chest, as your body squirmed and shook in his arms. Breathy gasps and pathetic whimpers left your lips as he kept up his unrelenting pace, fucking you through it, and prolonging your high.

You were far away. Blissed and fucked out as you came down from your moment of ecstasy. Behind you Joel’s grunts bordered on desperate, as his thrusts started to become sloppy.

“Shit, sweetheart– m’close, so fuckin’ close.”

“Come for me Joel,” you pleaded.

“Fuck,” he grunted as he pulled out.

His hand was on you in an instance, pushing you to your stomach as he turned you around. He knelt over you, fisting his cock desperately. Turning your head, you pushed off the bed to look over your shoulder where you found his eyes, locking them with his. Joel came with a guttural moan, the muscles in his stomach tightening and loosening as he coated your ass in his cum. It was hot and sticky on your back, feeling it drip slowly down the side of your waist.

“God damn,” he breathed out through a chuckle. His breath was heavy, like he’d just climbed ten stories.

You turned to your side to look up at him properly. He looked beautiful; his hair messy from sleep, broad chest heaving, a content smile pulling at his lips as you gave him a smile.

“Took the words straight out of my mouth.”

i hope you liked this! part two -> here

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #dom!joel miller #the last of us smut #tlou smut #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal #inexperienced!reader #70s AU

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leavesdriftinginthewind · 1 year

Text

I think what pisses me off most about the Wednesday fandom is that so many are intentionally ignoring the fact that Tyler is MEANT to be a tragic character because he is a Hyde. We basically have it beaten over our heads that Hydes are the outcasts of outcasts, deemed too difficult to help, and therefore abandoned and left to their own devices, basically giving them no way to NOT be tortured into being someone’s slave or ultimately having something tragic or awful happen to them that forces out their Hyde and leaving them to become a monster and/or get killed.

So many people blame Tyler for every bad thing that happened in this first season when he LITERALLY had no option but to do exactly as Laurel wished. He was TOLD to go murder the people he murdered, he was TOLD to get Wednesday to trust him, he was TOLD to go after Eugene, he had no CHOICE but to obey, it’s literally in the show’s lore. And we are both told AND shown what lengths Laurel went to to literally torture this teenage boy into becoming a monster that was FORCED to obey her. Not only that, but all that “mama” talk and physical touch is gag-worthy. SHE is the true monster who wanted everyone dead, and she ruined that boy’s life to try and get what she wanted. And the show INTENTIONALLY shows AND tells you all that.

We are SHOWN how Tyler was chained, beaten, poisoned to bring the Hyde out, to become Laurel’s perfect slave. And still so many see HIM as the “true villain,” stating that if he was truly “good” he never would’ve done all he did. Meanwhile the lore has TOLD you, Hydes have no choice. But WAY too many disregard this plot point entirely simply because they see it as something to cling to for their preferred ship to happen. That’s infuriating to me, truly. Not only from a standpoint of really loving Tyler as a character, but also from a standpoint of it being apparent to ME of where the story is going, and knowing that so much of the fandom is gonna be pissed off about it because it’s Tyler-centric.

We are given so much information about “Hydes have been banned from Nevermore for 30 years,” “Faulkner was studying Hydes but he died before he could finish his research,” “nobody knows for sure if, once unlocked, Hydes are only monsters or if the person they were is still in there.” Between all this within the narrative itself and Hunter talking about how he’s excited to explore the duality of the Real Tyler versus the Hyde next season, I think it’s obvious that Wednesday and Tyler are basically going to get to the bottom of this “are Hydes all 100% bad and dangerous” problem themselves, and the result of their research will probably get Hydes accepted back into Nevermore.

Wednesday already knows how unjust the whole system is, she mentions it FREQUENTLY in the first season. Once she gets past feeling betrayed by what happened in season one, it’s likely going to weigh on her that someone she cared about deeply enough to bring her walls down for, to actually seek out to KISS, was so hurt by this system that he ended up doing all he did. And Tyler is inevitably returning, the writers have talked about how we’re going to learn more about Tyler and explore his true feelings for Wednesday. They’ll be brought back together, no doubt. And thus, the deep dive on Hydes will probably begin.

I don’t care what you ship, I don’t even care if you really LIKE Tyler as a character, but I DO care that so many have made him out to be a pure villain simply because that suits their own personal narrative better, and makes them feel like it’s more likely their preferred ship will win the “war.” Like, try and WATCH a show, actually WATCH it, and not simply cling to bits and pieces that suit the storyline you’ve made up in your head. You’re SUPPOSED to hate LAUREL, you’re supposed to, at the very least, wonder if the Real Tyler is still in there, if he can be helped, and you are SUPPOSED to feel some pity for the boy who was forced into becoming an enslaved monster.

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miguelschamp · 3 months

Text

marjorie

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: after your grandmother’s passing, conrad’s the only one can who make it a little easier

warnings: mentions of death, very sad :(

you were numb. even with all the movement around you, you felt like you weren’t even here. just a shell of yourself. almost like you were outside of your body looking down at yourself.

you were at your grandmother’s funeral reception and you just wanted to get out. you missed her like crazy already and to see so many people trying to make light of her death made you sick to your stomach.

you couldn’t count the amount of times that people have come up to you to offer some pity comfort. you couldn’t even muster up a polite smile. just raising your brows in acknowledgment before they eventually walk off.

conrad watched from across the room as another person you barely knew came up to you. he could see your eyes looking elsewhere as they spoke to you.

he hated knowing that no matter how much anyone tries, they wouldn’t really be able to help much.

when his mother died, he felt his whole world collapse around him. he couldn’t stand everyone coming to him and trying to offer words of comfort. he knew in a way they were just trying to be nice, but it just made things worse. he knew exactly how you felt.

he remembered listening to your different stories each summer about your grandmother. how wide your smile was each time you recounted the trips you would take and the weekends you would spend together. he never actually got to meet her, but he knew if he did, he would’ve loved her.

“how is she ?” someone says. conrad turns as laurel and steven walk over. your mother inviting them and belly and himself and jeremiah. he turns back to you.

“not good i’m guessing.” conrad says, “i’m too nervous to check on her. i’ve seen so many people pity her today.”

“well, i’m sure she’d enjoy your company.” laurel says softly, “you two have always been the closest.”

conrad turns to them as steven nods, “it’s true. if there’s anyone she’s gonna wanna see right now, it’s you.”

conrad sighs as he turns back to you. your eyes staring ahead of you. a very blank expression covering your features. before his mind could convince him any different, he makes his way over to you.

you’re too into your own thoughts to notice conrad standing right beside you. he looks you over before gently placing his hand on your shoulder. your head snaps up before your body relaxes slightly.

“hey, how you holding up ?” he asks hesitantly. he knew it was a stupid question, a question he too hated, but he just needed to hear your voice.

he sees your eyes begin to shine with fresh tears as you shake your head, “it’s too much.”

conrad’s brows furrow slightly as you look down. he squats beside you placing a comforting hand on your thigh.

“you wanna go outside ? we can get some fresh air.” he suggests. you nod softly as you wipe under your eyes. “okay.”

he stands up taking your hand to help you up. he places his hand on your back as he gently leads you to the door.

on the way out, he catches your mother’s eyes. she was now standing next to laurel and steven. the woman gives an appreciative smile with a nod, but sadness was very evident in her features. he returns it as he follows you out.

he sits beside you on the step placing his arms on his knees. you look down at your hands as you pick at your fingernails. you sniffle before taking a deep breath.

“i don’t know if i can do it, conrad.”

“do what ?”

“go on without her.” you say looking over at him, “i don’t think i can do it. i don’t want to.”

his heart broke as he listened to you. “y/n/n, it’s gonna be okay.”

“no, it’s not.” you snapped, “everyone’s been saying that all day and i’m so sick of hearing it.”

conrad didn’t take your tone to heart. he knew you weren’t angry with him. just sad that someone so important to you was gone.

“i know. look, at first it’s going to be really hard. really fucking hard.” he nods, “but you know that your grandma wouldn’t want you to talk like this.”

you scoff, “so what am i supposed to do ? just act like everything is okay ?”

“no.” he says simply, “mourn her. be as sad as you want to be for as long as you need to. but don’t give up on yourself because you know she wouldn’t want that.”

you blink rapidly as you wipe more tears from under your eyes. “how am i supposed to do that ?”

conrad sighs softly, “there’s not really a written guide on to do that. you just do it however you need to.”

you look over at him with sad eyes. and for once, someone wasn’t looking at you with an overwhelming amount of pity. just genuine concern and support.

“i can’t do that by myself.”

“you don’t need to.” he shakes his head, “i’m right here. okay ?”

you nod softly as he wraps his arm around your shoulder. he pulls you to lay your head on his shoulder which you gladly accept. he rubs your arm while placing a small kiss on your head.

your eyes shut as another tear escapes. you knew this was probably going to be the hardest thing you’ve had to go through. but knowing conrad would be by your side through it all, made it a little easier.

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher imagine #chris briney #tsitp #tsitp imagine #the summer i turned pretty #miguelschamp

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stargazing-imagines · 9 months

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Summer Fling — Conrad Fisher & fem!reader

Description: this is your last summer at cousins before moving to a different state, but will this the only summer that you will have with Conrad?

Warnings: mentions of summer fling, but other than that nothing except bad writing

Fandom: Summer I turned pretty

“My parents just put in a offer on a house in Florida.” You said “we’re leaving at the end of summer.”

It wasn’t even the start of the summer and your parents are already talking about moving. You were at the pool outside of the beach house with belly.

“So your not coming back to cousins?” Asked belly, you shook your head

“I don’t know, my parents want to settle down for a while, they may put the beach house up for sale, but then again they may want to come back during retirement,” You said “Besides, I’ll be off to college soon so who knows when I’ll have time to come back.”

"'But you can't leave," said belly "what about Conrad?"

"What about him?" You asked as you stared at him in the distance

"I don't know maybe the fact that Conrad has been in love with you since we were kids.” Said belly “come on are you just now finding that out?”

“I was busy ok!” You said as you placed your hands up in surrender “college apps have been a butt and I still can’t believe I have to finish them while on vacation.”

“What colleges have you applied to?” Asked belly

“Let’s see, finch, brown, Princeton… the list goes on.”

The two of you chuckled before going back to talking

——

“Conrad, when are you going to man up and tell her that you like her?” Asked Steven “you know, every guy will be wanting her this summer so you better make your move fast.”

The thought of you with another guy has stirred a feeling inside of Conrad, but as the person he is. He’s afraid of hurting you

“You know I can’t.” Said Conrad “besides she wouldn’t like me back.”

“How do you know?” Asked Steven “oh that’s right, because you haven’t asked her out yet, I can feel the tension between you two you know.”

“Hey guys, Conrad is your mom home?” You asked

“No, I think her a laurel went into town or something, what you need?”

“My mom is making a cake and she wanted to know if she had some extra sugar.” You said as you smiled at the end of that sentence, Conrad got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, motioning you to follow him.

“Thanks.” You said, before you could walk out the door, Conrad stopped you.

“Hey… are you seeing anyone?”

“No… why do you ask?” You asked as you smiled, curious about his question.

“Do you want to maybe go out with me?”

You stood there, taken aback at what he said. You were about to speak, that was until your mouth goes dry

“I need some water…” you said as you walked to the sink “you don’t think?”

“No she won’t mind.” Said Conrad

You nodded your head before grabbing a glass and filling it with water, then you chugged it down before setting it down, walking in front of the island in the kitchen

“I’m sorry did you just ask me out?” You asked with a smile on your face

“Yeah… so?”

“Look… I would love to go out with you, but it’s just… I’m wrapped up in college applications this summer and I can’t really hang out a lot.” You said “besides I don’t think I’ll be back at cousins next summer if I’m going to be honest.”

“Why’s that?” Asked Conrad, you sighed

“My parents are selling the house and getting a retirement house in Florida while I go away to school.”

“Well… who says that it has to be a relationship?”

“What are you suggesting?” You asked

——

It has been a few weeks since you and Conrad had decided to have a “summer fling”, at the moment you were at the beach tanning, when all the sudden your mom called out for you

“Y/n!” Shouted your mom as she waved something in her hand trying to get your attention. You lowered your sunglasses at your mom as you got up gathering your things.

“What is it?” You asked as you sat your stuff down on the porch of your parents summer house.

“It’s a letter, from Princeton!” Said your mother “open it!”

You took the envelope from your mothers hand as you ripped it up, when you read the paper your jaw dropped

“No way!” You said looking at your mother “I got in!”

“Congratulations!” Shouted your mother as she hugged you “I need to tell everyone about this, my daughter is going to Princeton!”

You chuckled before walking over to Susannah’s summer house, you were wanting to tell Conrad and everyone the good news

——

“No way! You got into Princeton?!” Asked Steven

“Yep, I guess you’ll be joining me after you graduate next year.”

“Hopefully.” Said Steven “but other then that, congratulations, you deserve this.”

At that, Steven have your a hug which you received back

“Where’s Conrad? I want to tell him the good news,”

“He’s in his room.”

“Cool!” You said then you walked upstairs to find Conrad, when you did something or someone grabbed your hand before you could continue walking down the hall

“I missed you.” Said Conrad as he gave you a kiss on the back of your hand

“Aww, I’m flattered.” You said “but I can’t do this today, I actually came over with good news, I’m going to Princeton.” You said as you held up your acceptance letter

“That’s great!” Said Conrad as he gave you a hug “I guess you a Steven will be going to the same college.”

“Yep.” You said

“Well… I’m happy for you.” Said Conrad as he gave you a hug

“Thank you.” You said as you hugged him back

“This isn’t going to change anything is it?” Asked Conrad as he pulled away slightly from the hug

“Hopefully not.” You said as you had a reassuring voice

“Good, because I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

With that he gave you a hug again

——

The summer I turned pretty masterlist

#the summer i turned pretty #tsitp imagine #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher

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roo-bastmoon · 8 months

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With 17 versions to buy and 8 versions combined for 160 streams per Spotify account, plus Melon and FLO streams now counting, of course Jungkook’s Seven is charting high and sweeping awards. Firstly because it’s Jungkook of course, and secondly because it’s been given every possible advantage.

My (perhaps controversial) opinions about that are below the cut.

Honestly? I really can’t feel good about any “first” or “most” or “fastest” records achieved by this single—catchy as it is—which wasn’t written or conceived by Jungkook and has nothing much personal or deeply meaningful about it. It’s a fun feel-good summer pop song, for sure, but no more groundbreaking than, say, Bad Decisions (in my opinion… I have no musical expertise.)

But I can’t feel super great about all the records and awards because this many versions immediately restocked and shipped and auto play and promoted to radio and ads and leadership hyping only this while Jungkook says he wants to be the one and only artist to conquer kpop and pop for the next thousand years… it all just doesn’t really sit right with me.

When compared to the 10 months Jimin forewent sleep, food, and showers to have a hand in every aspect of his first (and deeply personal and symbolic) album, which was never sent to radio or restocked, got split tracks and delayed playlisting and shady articles, plus not one kudos or congratulations from leadership even after he made history for South Korea and stocks soared…

Forgive me, but it all leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It is ruining the song for me.

Some things like culled streams and sales are out of the company’s control. But the things I mentioned above were all possible for Jimin’s Hot 100 #1. Even if every Tannie has total say in their projects' sales and marketing, and everyone was on board with only Jungkook getting the Hybe America "red carpet" treatment, I can’t lie and say the stark difference feels fine. It doesn't, and I confess I leave the headphones in every time Seven comes up in the playlists now.

I’m not jealous. If anything, I have a warped sense of pride that Jimin has done so fantastically well despite so many, many obstacles stacked against him. I love to champion an underdog and I’m glad I never need to doubt his success was organic. I actually feel extra admiration for how humble and hardworking he continues to be—no resting on any laurels for the It Boy. I'm so glad he is my ult-bias.

*sigh*

Listen to me.

I know Jungkook and Jimin are both genuinely good people. I know they are sincerely talented and hard working. I know they truly love each other. I know all members are legitimately happy for each others' success.

I know what’s important to me may not be important to them, nor what they want for their careers. And even if I feel their company’s making shitty decisions, I know my place as a fan.

So I trust them. And I simply hang in. I hope lessons were learned for smoother, fairer future releases. Because neglecting assets makes zero business sense, and perceived favoritism can erode the group’s bonds and tear ARMY apart. It is, frankly, just plain stupid.

So I may dislike things about their solo era rollouts and I can't bring myself to sugar-coat it; but I mostly try to keep my negative thoughts to myself and find things I CAN celebrate with other fans on an open timeline.

I never want another Tannie to feel anguished and misunderstood the way Hobi did about JitB’s physicals.

Watching Jungkook’s face here on his London live when he talks about people hating him just haunts me. It guts me. I can't stand it. That kid was going through it and I don't believe he has a malicious bone in his body, so it just really upsets me seeing him like that.

There’s so, so much about this company, this industry, this culture that I just don’t understand. But I trust Park Jimin completely. As long as Park Jimin loves and supports his members, God knows, I will too.

So!! On that note...

We have Jungkook’s birthday to celebrate next week and Taehyung’s album to support the week after that. I’m going to do my best to rest up and gather some good energy for these things!

And of course, we must congratulate our Jimin, who made history again today, and no matter what, will always set the standard. I just know he's cooking up something else for us with all these weeks of silence, and I cannot wait to go BERSERK for it whenever it drops.

I’m not really sure I had a point to this post. It’s just that I have been mulling all this over for a long time, and finally felt well enough to sit up long enough to come online and type up my thoughts.

I guess what I mostly wanted to share with my friends here is that it’s okay to feel really disappointed and even enraged at the way some things play out over the (hopefully life-long) careers of BTS members. Don't let folks gaslight you. Call it like you see it. (Maybe keep sensitive things behind a cut or in the DMs--and of course, please change your mind if you get better insight. In the end, only the Tannies really know what's going on with the Tannies.)

But while I’m still side-eyeing the company so hard right now, I’ve decided to love and support the boys as people and artists. I'm trying to believe the best in everyone. I’m still an OT7 Jikooker.

You don’t have to agree with me, and if you need to unfollow, I understand. But I figured I should just tell you guys (especially the new followers) where I am at with all this.

Love, Roo

#jimin #jikook #jungkook

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v1olentdelights · 6 months

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Dandelion Wishes

Conrad Fisher x sister!reader Trigger warning: the reader is referred to as bug in a sibling affectionate way? also food is mentioned a few times, and the reader is sick, but nothing descriptive. Summary: On a particular fall Monday, you are reminded that all your dandelion wishes were well spent. a/n: idk if this is good or not. I have it as a college student because I am a college student... there will probably be more pieces within a college setting. Also, I gave my sister the nickname of bug so I put it in here lol.

When choosing what college to attend you tried not to think about your brothers, both of which were in college now. Not only your mother and brothers, but also your Laurel, Belly, and Steven encouraged you to apply anywhere and everywhere. So that is what you did, you applied to as many colleges as you could. But when you got the results, you were hesitant about your first choice, Stanford. You didn’t want to seemingly follow in your eldest brother’s footsteps, but that was the college that seemed to suit you best. After careful consideration, you were officially accepted to Stanford.

When fall came you packed up half your life in boxes, it was a weird sight to see. Your brother Jeremiah had demanded you let him go through your clothes with you and then later go shopping with you. He was sure you would end up wearing pajamas all year long and he refused to accept that. Though it turned into him making fun of your clothing and putting on some definitely too small shirts. It was moments like these that made you regret all those dandelion wishes to grow up quicker.

You quickly realized how serious this was, hearing that your freshman year at college would be difficult is something completely different than actually living it. Jeremiah and Conrad constantly fussed over you and how you were doing. For Jere, that meant constant texts and calls throughout the week, he also sent you care packages that either contained snacks, sweatshirts, socks, and other little bits and bobs. For Conrad, that meant checking in with you via text after every day and getting dinner every Monday evening.

This beautiful fall Monday you found yourself struggling to stay awake in your 9am class. As the day progressed it only got worse, your body was aching more than you thought possible and you were sure there was a marching band smashing around in your head. If your luck wasn’t already bad enough, in your final class of the day (ending at 4:30) you had a pop quiz on the chapter reading that was due yesterday evening. As you were walking back to your dorm it started to drizzle, though you thought nothing of it as it was a usual occurrence. What you weren’t expecting was for it to pour, the rain helped mask your tears.

Drenched by the time you reached your dorm, you found yourself taking as much pain reliever as you could and slipping into pajamas before settling down at your desk to complete the overflow of assignments.

A while later a knock broke you out of your trance, pulling open the door you were rather surprised to see Conrad with a small smile on his face. You had forgotten about the weekly Monday dinner. But it was wiped from his face as he took in your disheveled appearance, he slipped into your room as you began protesting. After surveying the room he turned to you with a facial expression that was walking the fine line of understanding and pity. “I am going to go make you some soup.” Finding his way to your cupboard he pulled out a can of chicken noodle soup and a bowl and found his way out of your room with ease. You just sat back at your desk and began typing away before the thought of sleep could even cross your mind.

“Here, I brought you some gatorade too. I don’t know how much water you have been drinking.” Turning to him you saw your mother for a second, sometimes when he was concerned he had the same face your mom makes.

“Connie, I can't. I have midterms coming up and I have already missed homework from yesterday. You understand.” And you were right, he did understand, but he also knew what it could do to you if you didn’t take a break.

“30 minutes, bug, just to eat and take a quick power nap.” You huffed but knew that retaliating would only result in him physically forcing you into bed, so you started to shuffle some papers to the side. Conrad took over as he set down your soup. The second you put the spoon in your mouth you knew you were done for. You were too consumed by the newfound warmth that your food provided you to notice Conrad putting your stuff in your backpack and stuffing it in your closet behind your things, so you couldn’t find it.

He pulled up your roommates desk chair to sit next to you and talk about his day. He told you all about his advanced statistics class and how he thankfully made it to the bus before it began downpouring. At that you made a mention that you had got caught in the rain and that it probably added to your foul mood. He just rubbed your arm for a moment with a sad smile on his face.

It was no secret that you were struggling. He had heard from some of his friends that they had seen you in some of the libraries at odd hours of the night. When you finished your soup he took the bowl and set it in your sink while you managed to pull yourself in bed.

“Can you read to me Connie?” He thought you sounded like a little kid again. It was moments like these that made him regret all those dandelion wishes to have you grow up quicker.

“Of course, bug.” He pulled up your desk chair towards your bed and pulled the book off your bedside. It was a book that your mom used to read to you. You had your comforter pulled up to your chin, holding a brown bear stuffed animal with bright blue eyes that Jeremiah had surely gotten you.

He had read for about 5 minutes before you were fully knocked out. After quietly moving away, Conrad pulled out your school bag and began sorting out your homework into classes and what was due when. He made some flash cards for your science class in hopes that it would help you with memorization. On top of all that he tried to work on some things that weren’t big assignments, of course on another piece of paper so you could look at it and attempt it yourself.

—

You had surely slept more than 20 minutes, it was now dark outside and your heater had turned on. Looking around the room in your state must have been a sight to see, the comforter was still pulled up to your chin, your cheeks were reddened and had marks on them and you could barely see your because your eyes felt glued shut. But you could spot the very familiar figure sitting at your desk.

“Connie?” Your voice broke as you called out to him quietly. You were instantly glad that your roommate decided to stay out for the night. On your bedside there was a glass of water and some motrin for you to take, you sat up as you did so.

“Bug?” He sounded just as tired when he lifted his head from the desk. Looking back at you with bleary eyes, standing up from his spot he came over to you and put the back of his hand to your forehead, just like your mom.

“You still feel warm. Did you take the motrin?” You simply nodded your head. Quickly you wrapped your arms around his stomach and pulled him in close for a hug. It took him by surprise, but after a moment he reciprocated while softly running a hand through your hair.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” it came out as barely a whisper.

It was times like these you were reminded that your dandelion wishes were spent well. Having wished that your brothers would always be there for you was the best wish of all, one you still made to this day.

—

By the end of the week you were feeling better physically and mentally when you saw that you had passed the midterm you had been worried about all week. By Friday you felt like you could finally breathe, so when your mother asked that you and your brother come home for the weekend, you could easily say yes.

Almost as soon as you stepped out of the car you were being picked up, eliciting a squeal. Jeremiah had wrapped you up tight before spinning you in a death grip of a hug.

“I’ve missed you kid! I think you've even grown a bit” As he set you down he pressed a kiss to your head. You swat him away as he comes in to pinch your cheeks. Though you were still a bit dizzy, you spotted your mom sitting next to Laurel on the porch, you hadn’t expected the Conklin's to be here. But you were swept up into another hug by Steven who ruffled your hair and said something about being proud of you. Belly was right beside her mom with a big smile and a big bouquet of flowers.

“Welcome back!”

Stepping up onto the porch both Laurel and your mom stood up with bright smiles, as soon as you were close enough, both of them pulled you into a hug.

“We are so proud of you, sweetheart.” Laurel said as she rubbed her hand up and down your back. You mom kept pressing kisses to your hairline, you could feel the tears slipping that she tried to hold back.

“My beautiful beautiful girl, you look so much older now!” her smile was as bright as the sun. Laurel patted your back lightly.

“Let’s get you inside and fill you up, I made your favorite.” Everyone piled into the house and as soon as you stepped into the kitchen, you caught a whiff of what you assumed to be your favorite dessert as well.

It was times like these that you are reminded that all your dandelion wishes were well spent.

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bloodynereid · 8 months

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hiya! I'd like to make a request! being a roadie for daisy jones and the six (helping with the setup and things of the stage and instruments) and warren falling in love with you because you're always helping him with his drum kit (fem pronouns and I don't mind if you make it a one shot or head cannons, whatever feels best for you!! tysm!!)

Comets Ricochet

pairing: warren rhodes/rojas x fem! reader

a/n: hiii anon! sry for taking AGES to write up this request but I hope you enjoy what I did end up writing. (requests are open btw I'm getting back into writing so hopefully I'll be able to get back to you sooner - also feel free to just send in thoughts or if you feel like chatting)

tw: none ig? swearing, drinking mentions, kind of cheesy (i'm so in love with this man okay???), fluff

description: who knew making the wrong turn in search for your best friend's house would lead to this?

Y/N: Oh ok hi? Is this thing on? Wow alrighty then soooo where would you like me to start?

Interviewer: How about when you first met The Six?

Y/N: So you don’t want to know anything about my early life. Well now I’m offended. *You send a teasing smile at the camera before taking a sip of some coke at your side.* Right it was a really hot night, something you come to expect when living in California…

Carefully adjusting your tank top and wiping some sweat off your neck you rang the doorbell at what was meant to be your best friend’s new house. For some reason she had decided that moving to Laurel Canyon was going to help with the writing of her novel and you fully supported her… which is why you brought along enough champagne to fill a small pond to her housewarming party.

You could vividly remember the phone call from just this morning, her voice distorted by the receiver basically begging you to come.

“Please! I’ll even set you up with one of the guys from my yoga class.”

“You do know that’s going to turn me off going even more.”

“Come onnn. I’m sure you will meet some hot literature professor or something, just please promise me that you’ll come.”

“Okay fine fine! I give up, see you at 6.”

After no answer you huffed and then proceeded to lean on the doorbell until suddenly angry shouting was heard over by the garage area. Furrowing your eyebrows you peaked over the side of the house only to see an admittedly really attractive curly haired man walking towards you with an annoyed look on his face. Since when did Bev have hot friends? Other than you of course.

“Can I help you?”

Warren: This random chick showed up at our porch during one of our practice sessions and holy shit she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

“Yeah uh hi. I’m looking for Beverly.”

“Beverly?”

“Yeah Beverly Stewart? This is her housewarming party…”.

When the guy’s face continued to hold a mask of complete confusion you were absolutely certain you had made a mistake. It wasn’t your fault though the roads all basically looked the same.

“Oh yeah I think you’ve got the wrong house.”

“Great! Ok sorry for interrupting whatever you guys were doing. I’ll be off then.”

The guy’s face had morphed from being confused to smiling over the course of the conversation and god he had a really pretty smile. You felt your whole body start to heat up, which only seemed to add to the embarrassment you were already feeling.

“Wait! Do you know the house number or name? I’m actually just finishing up practice so I could help you find it.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“No, no I insist. When a beautiful lady is in distress I’m obliged to help.” That comment would usually have you scoffing but he said with such an annoying degree of charm it almost infuriated you.

“Ok if you’re sure I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not at all, I’ll just head inside to let the rest of the band know I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Band?”

“Yeah I’m part of The Six.”

“Oh I’ve seen your flyers around town, I meant to check you guys soon.”

“Well darling you can check me out anytime.”

The man gave you a teasing smile as you rolled your eyes before quickly popping back into the garage and coming back out basically a second later. The entire time you were just mentally thanking Bev for making her come to her housewarming party.

Y/N: So yeah I met Warren first and I kind of became their unofficial then official roadie. And I loved it, even if I didn’t desperately need a job I would have quit any other job in a heartbeat for the band.

Rod Reyes: Y/N was a fast learner, she was better at managing the whole on the road situation in the first week than some of the guys I kept under employment.

Y/N: I warmed to the band quickly but ever since that first meeting Warren and I just sort of gravitated towards each other.

You were crouching next to the drum set, taking your time to make sure it was all being carefully put away. In your intense focus you barely realized when a large hand carefully landed on your shoulder. You shot up like someone possessed and nearly tripped over the drum kit if it wasn’t for a pair of hands catching you by the shoulders.

“Christ Y/N are you okay?” You twirled around to face the drummer whose face was covered in a concerned expression as his hands fell away from your shoulders.

“Fucking hell Warren. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” You playfully punched him in the arm after getting over the fright of your life. “I thought everyone left already.”

“Yeah well I wasn’t really in the mood for a party tonight.”

“You? Not in the mood for a party? Warren, is that really you or have the aliens swapped your body somehow?” You smiled, slightly mockingly, as you started poking his cheek.

“Haha, very funny. I just wanted to see what my favorite girl was up to okay? Is there something wrong with that?”

A string in your heart twinged at the words “my favorite girl” and you could feel your face lighting up in a smile, which Warren quickly returned - easily making you lose your breath again.

“Nothing wrong with that at all.”

That was when you saw something change in his eyes. Like a little spark was ignited and he came to some sort of realization. You felt as if you were the only two people in the world, almost like a spotlight was thrown on the two of you leaving the rest of the stage dark. Warren trailed his knuckles down the side of your cheek, outlining your cheekbone and then your chin before coming to rest on your jaw.

“Would you hit me if I kissed you right now?”

“I’ll hit you if you don’t.”

Warren’s face lit up and he cradled your face as you both started to lean into each other. When your lips met his it was like millions of comets crossed the sky in that very moment. Your body surged with energy and love as you tossed your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

“Hey! Y/N do you have the kit ready for me?” You quickly disconnected your lips from Warren’s and swiveled around to face a smirking Rod.

“Uhh not yet.”

“Well maybe Warren can help you with it, he is the drummer after all.” Rod sent you a wink before disappearing backstage.

“Now where were we, sweetheart?” Warren asked as he looked at you with a teasing smirk, but his true feelings were given away by his eyes. They twinkled with adoration and an emotion you were certain was also visible in your eyes, love.

“I think we were right around here.”

Y/N: So yeah I ended up finding not only my career but also the love of my life. *Your head turns to look off camera and a blinding smile fills the frame as you look at your husband.*

Y/N Rhodes is one of the most sought out for tour managers in the business today. She currently lives in LA with her husband, Warren Rhodes (former drummer for Daisy Jones & The Six) and their daughters Sophie and Laura alongside their many dogs. She will be co-managing the tour for the newly reunited Daisy Jones & The Six with Rod Reyes.

lmk what you think in the comments ly

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caralara · 2 years

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LT2 Faith In The Future Promo x Babygate

I’ve decided to make a post inspired by this lovely anon to keep track of all the babygate mentions / pushes during LT2 promo season in media, including the ones where he does not mention Freddie - to see just how often and in which context he’s brought up!

21 July 2022

TODAY Australia: no Freddie mention

Sunrise Australia: 0:20″ seconds of a 2:53″ segment about “being a dad is Louis’ biggest achievement,” him talking about tour life and coming “home to Freddie and spend time with him” while shaking his head and struggling to get the name Freddie out, illustrated by 3 photos (infamous b&w photo, one of Freddie now (carbon copy) one of Louis “teaching” Freddie guitar, all highly recognisable) (wearing a polo he most likely purchased on the endclothing website)

The Project: no Freddie mention Harry university course mention

25 July 2022

Will & Woody Podcast: no Freddie mention

Smallzy’s Surgery: no Freddie mention

Fifi, Fev and Nick on The Fox 1019: no Freddie mention

31 August 2022

Golden Discs: no Freddie mention

01 September 2022

Euphoria Zine: no Freddie mention, emphasis on happy, hopeful in spite of hardship (Harry mention)

Official Charts Interview: no Freddie mention

Los40 Spain: no Freddie mention

02 September 2022

Secret Celebrity: no Freddie mention

Billboard: no Freddie mention

La Stampa: no Freddie mention

Cadena100 Spain: no Freddie mention

06 September 2022

Radio Deejay Italia: Louis brings up Freddie unprompted, saying he’s been on tour since February and had little gaps to go home to the UK or to LA where his son lives. He brings him up right after the radio hosts spent a good amount of time talking about the Beatles (which Louis has used to signal about babygate before. He’s also in a blue green outfit that day).

altpress: two paragraphs about Freddie, first mentioning him in connection to tragedies that seem to not give Louis a break ever, whenever things go his way something happens, his mum died of leukemia just a year “after his son Freddie Reign was born,” and made Louis feel like he was just treading water, life treating him unfairly. The second paragraph is all about Louis finding clarity during lockdown where he could “spend some quality time with his son, journeying between the U.K. and Los Angeles where he lives with his mother. There, he could put his “dad hat” on and have a purpose.” - painting a picture of a Louis split orderly in the middle between a devoted dad we don’t get to see and the “partyboy slob” Louis we know and love. There’s an emphasis of Louis not wanting pity, and focusing on better things, the hope and optimism for a good future combined in the title of his new record. Right after the first Freddie mention, it is described what Louis is wearing: “ Sporting a black-and-white colorblock hoodie” - chequers? Also why mention lol. (He’s again wearing Palace and Fred Perry Laurels for the cover shoot.)

07 September 2022

LADBible Snack Wars: Louis brings up Freddie unprompted, saying he’s making Mac’n’Cheese for his “little lad Freddie” a lot Louis we all know you’re an absolute disaster in the kitchen you’d ruin even macncheese (he is wearing a Palace jacket)

BBC The One: no Freddie mention

Today FM Ireland: no Freddie mention

Q Music Belgium: no Freddie mention

08 September 2022

Lorraine Kelly: 1:04″ of a 6:30″ segment spent talking about Freddie, Lorraine brings up Freddie’s age first, asks if he understands what a big deal his daddy is, Louis talks about Freddie being at LTWTLA1 and that he held up a self made banner (did he though?), was the “most emotional gig he’s done,” Lorraine says Louis splits his time between America and UK - of course - and Louis responds he hasn’t spent a lot of time at “home” (with airquotes) at all. The interview started off with talking about how the new album is a lot more positive, optimistic and hopeful in spite of hardship. (He’s wearing a shirt described by the label as the “perfect partner in crime”) [Lorraine is a format that talks a lot about private life / families / gossip about celebs so very obvious they would ask about the child]

RTL Boulevard Netherlands: 0:37″ of a 2:17″ segment are about Freddie, including 4 photos (recognisable ones, them together, and one how Freddie looks like Louis) and Louis talking about how he takes him to parks and surfing although he’s not a good surfer himself so he doesn’t take him surfing yet because he has to take surf lessons before he can be the surf boss and hero for Freddie (???). (He’s wearing a white and black striped Palace polo shirt) [Again, this is a dutch “celeb life” programme, focused on private life and gossip.]

NME Interview: no Freddie mention

LTHQ posts the LADBible Snack Wars bit with the Freddie mention

09 September 2022

Dork: no Freddie mention

13 September 2022

Formula 1: no Freddie mention (but F1? come on, also Kimi Räikkönen’s car number is 7)

The Late Late Show: no Freddie mention

15 September 2022

Good Morning America: no Freddie mention (host looked slightly caught off guard and stumbling over some words when they showed footage of The GMA Buzzing Interview)

16 September 2022

The Steve Duran Show: Louis brings up Freddie unprompted while talking about jetting between London & LA where his son lives, emphasising that he’s spending a lot of time in LA

94.3 Radio One India: no Freddie mention

106.1 BLI: no Freddie mention

17 September 2022

BBC: “Even becoming a father to his first son, Freddie, in 2014 didn't force him into adulthood. "There was always an element of, when I was with Freddie, I'd put my adult dad hat on. And then, when I was doing my work or when I was with my mates, I'd be in a kind of limbo, really.” 2014? lol here again the talking points: split Louis, the one we see, the super devoted dad we don’t see, fans mean everything, he’s hopeful, had tragedies

19 September 2022 (Philadelphia)

98.5 KRZ Radio: no Freddie mention (a question about OTB being a fanmade queer anthem was edited out when posted on the website)

Radio Hot 97.1: no Freddie mention (he did talk about reading between the lines)

Morning Mashup SiriusXM: 1:22” min of a 8:48” segment talking about being a parent, interviewer asked if being a parent changed his way of writing, Louis says subconsciously, the two things are separate for him. Now he’s saying all the things he never wanted to say as a parent when he was a child. Mentioned the LA show, was the most emotional show, brought his own banner and is usually in bed by 7 (lol). On the video on demand website of the radio “On Being A Parent” is indicated as a chapter of the video.

96.5 TDY Q&A and Listening Party : no Freddie mention

20 September 2022 (Nashville)

1075 The River Cocktail party: no Freddie mention

Hot 106.7: no Freddie mention says there’s drama around the corner for Louis, always has to be one step ahead of the drama, wearing chequers

B104: no Freddie mention

21 September 2021 (Atlanta)

Power 96.1: no Freddie mention says his fans are great at solving puzzles

Q99.7: no Freddie mention

Hits 96 Lunch with Louis (Tennessee): no Freddie mention

22 September 2022 (Phoenix)

101.5 Live Interview and M&G: cancelled (fans were not informed whether they won or not, but had to show up in person to find out. There they were told Louis cancelled because he’s sick and he “was on his way straight to California” for other promo.

23 September 2022 (California)

103.7 KISS-FM: no Freddie mention says he’s tired, it is what it is, wearing Lacoste blue green polo

997 Now (CA): no Freddie mention

94.9 WiLD (San Francisco): @stephron reported back this: “Sooo there was a fan question asking if he was a good cook and he replied that he’s not and all he can make for his son is cheesy pasta…so a reiteration of what he said on LADbible. Someone asked him before that what he would be if he wasn’t a singer and he said a teacher because he’s good with kids. He hesitated noticably when he went to elaborate and tbh I thought he was going to mention F but he said it was because he had so many siblings.” X

24 September 2022 (Portland)

Live 95.5: no Freddie mention

25 September 2022

BBC Radio1: no Freddie mention

27 September 2022

Zach Sang: very interesting right off the bat. First Freddie mention comes with Zach mentioning he is Louis’ Future when talking about what Future means to Louis. Louis is caught off guard but then quickly says “yeah, yeah the kid is the future!” then, later on, when Zach mentions he saw Louis in LA, Louis goes into asking him which night to not wait for him to answer just to say “my son was there” and to talk about this beautiful emotional moment he had with Freddie, locking eyes with him (backpedalling bc how do you do that at the YouTube theater lol it’s way too far and dark). He’s eloquent and goes into detail about how Freddie goes to bed at 7 usually. Then later on, Zach again brings up Freddie, asking if he’s part in shaping his idea of success, and again Louis is caught off guard and stumbles over his words, stuttering and rambling. It seems clear he’s confident in talking about him when he’s initiating but swimming when someone else brings it up non-planned. He also doesn’t see him in his future, keeps forgetting about him there, or with the song writing. Extremely interesting as well is that the Freddie bit is the first (only?) snippet posted to Zach‘s TikTok. He also seems to be awfully concerned about his arse tattoo being seen by new people in situations where he’s about to get frisky with them: two questions - what about eleanormegirlfriend? And in which hetero context is his arse the first thing you see when taking his clothes off for sex?

Hits Radio UK - My Teenage Self: no Freddie mention

12 October 2022

The Night Show With Mitch Churi Australia: 0:40″ min of a 8:47″ segment talked about Freddie: Interviewer brought him up saying “yeah and you’re a dad now” hasn’t he been a dad for almost 7 years?? in response to gaining new perspective on everything in Bigger Than Me, then stumbling about “having my own ... child.”

14 October 2022

Kompas Indonesia: no Freddie mention

15 October 2022

Soccer AM: no Freddie mention

Ask Me Anything Chat: no Freddie mention

17 October 2022

Virgin Radio Paris: no Freddie mention

NRJ Paris: short Freddie mention squeezed in at the end, when talking about living between LA and London

Music Week: no Freddie mention

18 October 2022

JAM FM Germany: no Freddie mention

Late Night Berlin: no Freddie mention

Listening Party RTL / JAMFM Berlin: Louis mentions fatherhood to be his biggest achievement in his private life - wearing a „Palace“ jacket (Reign, Queen=Freddie)

19 October 2022

Bild Germany: tbd

20 October 2022

La Resistencia: no Freddie mention

24 October 2022

WR Germany: no Freddie mention

25 October 2022

GQ Spain: Louis mentions Freddie and becoming a dad as one of the changes he’s gone through which inspired Bigger Than Me

31 October 2022

Los40 Spain: The headline is about Freddie hearing the album first. Louis says Freddie is the first one to hear a few songs off Faith In The Future after Olli (loli 5ever) and that he would probably like Out Of My System most just like how he liked Kill My Mind best off Walls.

2 November

The UK Times: big emphasis on fatherhood - Freddie mentioned in the subheader: „The former One Direction star on going it alone, fatherhood and his love of Bargain Hunt“ and the summary: „He has a son, Freddie, six, from a previous relationship with the stylist Briana Jungwirth, and lives in north London.“

05 November 2022

Corriere Della Sera Italy: no Freddie mention

07 November 2022

NRJ Austria: no Freddie mention

Copy Paste Articles: Louis Tomlinson finds parenting to be challenging. About 100+ copy paste articles flooded Louis' Google News results right as he announced ONO shows. They all consist of mashed up quotes by Louis about Freddie from previous interviews. The last time this happened was with the "carbon copy" narrative, articles flooding like this right before boobgate was kicked off

08 November 2022

Focus Online Germany: no Freddie mention

09 November 2022

Official Charts: no Freddie mention

The Telegraph: Freddie gets mentioned right after they talk about Louis taking responsibility for his family, and in the next breath says “I don’t want people to feel fucking sorry for me” again setting up the tone for how he is to be dealt with during the scandal by connecting that wish with Freddie.

10 November

Rolling Stones Twitch Live: interviewer brings up Freddie seemingly out of nowhere and Louis rattles off his Freddie talking points: didn't realise Louis was a celebrity, immediately goes to talking about his sisters instead, Freddie went to the LA show and made Louis emotional with a banner, listened to his singles and liked them

Swiss 20min: no Freddie mention

11 November 2022

Metro UK: no Freddie mention

102.7 KIIS FM: 0:20" of 37:05" interview: mentions Freddie to be the reason to make LTWTLA the best performance of his life, made him emotional, seeing him

KKBOX Western: tbd

Hitz Malaysia: no Freddie mention

ET Canada: 1:50" segment of a 8:52" interview about Freddie. 5 seconds into the interview, interviewer says Louis is a dad, Louis says he's changed to become more mature. Later, interviewer brings up LTWTLA, says he was looking for him, then spotted him, he had the banner, it made him emotional. Dad life and musician life separated, he's a strict dad (that's new!)

ZDF Germany Leute Heute: 0:28“ of a 2:26“ Segment about Freddie. Needs to put the dad hat on even though he doesn't feel fully grown up yet.

Z100 New York: 1"20 segment of 14"03 interview about him maturing through fatherhood, says Freddie got into music in the past 18 months 👀 also makes a 180° turn and says he keeps his private life private (says he's not telling us what Chicago is about)

SiriusXM Morning Mashup: 0:30" segment of a 12"10 interview. Louis brings up Freddie himself, when saying he's two different people on tour and when a dad, waking up early. Adding more details! (well done on the research! We need those details to make it more believable!)

LADBible: no Freddie mention

Fallon Tonight: no Freddie mention

Due to link limit all mentions and links from 12 November 2022 on will be archived in a reblog.

I will edit to add as we go through this promo season, but as of now, we have 29 / 91 Freddie mentions during interviews for LT2 Faith in the Future promo, all of them seem out of place if you pay close attention (why would you advertise your album with your six year old son after supposedly crying for privacy before?), and on almost every single occasion he signals through clothing / topics. I believe it wasn’t pre-discussed that the interviewer would bring up Freddie, as Louis got caught pretty off guard and wasn’t signalling with his clothes. The interviewer did say he watched a lot of recent videos and clips of him before the interview, so I guess he saw that big fat Freddie segment from Australian morning TV as his preparation for the interview.

Depending on the format, they either have predetermined talking points and provided images and visuals, like for Lorraine and RTL, where the programme focuses more on celeb gossip, or he finds ways to inject a Freddie mention into the segment himself (ladbible, radio deejay,...). LTHQ posting that snippet of the ladbible segment though is extremely telling. They are using narration points they know fans will recognise and are backed up by fan videos etc, like the LTWTLA1 show. It’s also interesting that Louis rarely mentions Freddie when fans are present like in Q&As and M&Gs.

There are a few talking points that crystallize this promo run:

my fans are the best and I’m eternally grateful for and to them (fan service)

Faith in the Future was a phrase he chose before the pandemic and is his, that he felt a connection to it, it spoke to him, a magnetism, and he likes to share it to mean something hopeful but is adamant about it being around since about 6 months before lockdown (Future Is Now = Faith In The Future = The End Plan developed before lockdown started?)

Silver Tongues is his favourite song

Chicago is half his own experiences, half theoretical

Freddie:

goes to bed at 7 (!)

Louis makes him Mac’n’cheese

LTWTLA Moment was emotional, referencing moments the fandom knows (Christmas, Park: right after interview park photos get spread in the fandom)

Dad hat VS Musician hat: keeps professional life & private life apart, fans don’t really get to see him being the devoted dad he is

travels a lot between London & LA bc of Freddie

Freddie loves his music

Louis compares how Freddie sees his fame to his sisters' reactions

They are also setting the tone for how to handle the scandal: they are putting a lot of emphasis on how positive and hopeful Louis is now, after achieving some sort of clarity during lockdown, that in the face of tragedies he just wants to focus on the positive and move on, and definitely wants NO pity - and that he seems to never get a break, when things are finally going his way, tragedies hit. Incredible set up for those couple of months between this FitF promo cycle ending early 2023 and before the tour starts - and fans will already have bought the tickets and have time to calm down. It will also allow for him to withdraw, regroup, and then carry on like he’s been saying: he will look gracious, strong and congruent to his words. No one will take it badly that he keeps on enjoying his life and success after the scandal breaks after a period of privacy. It is genius and I am so excited for this to unravel. They are really, really good.

To the end, my friends. Faith in the Future - and The Future Is Now!

#babygate #bbg #lt2 promo #fitf promo #faith in the future #the future is now #louis tomlinson #freddie #freddie tomlinson #lt2 #if you see anything missing #or mistakes #kindly let me know so i can edit and fix!!

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light-yaers · 2 years

Text

Lover: Chapter Four

Chapter List | AO3 | Fic Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol and substance abuse, eventual sex/smut, mentions of death/cancer. 18+

A/N: this one goes out to all the emotional bitches!! enjoy this bitches!!

Word Count: 4.7k

Chapter Four: close.

“The chairs will go here,” Belly explains, walking on the beach by the house. “The altar will go right here and flowers will decorate all the furniture,” she’s beaming.

“It sounds amazing, Bells,” you let out, utterly in awe of the fact that the wedding is coming up so soon. “A beach wedding—it suits you and Jeremiah so well,”

“I know,” she agrees. “Oh, also! The pool is being covered and turned into the dancefloor for the reception afterwards,”

“I can’t wait to see Jeremiah twerk on top of a swimming pool cover. If we were still sixteen, he would have been fired from his dream job at the country club,” you joke.

“Paige hated him at first, but she soon realised it’s impossible not to love him. In all his annoying and charming glory,” Belly gushes about her man.

“Amen to that,” you agree, slinking your arm around her shoulders as the two of you head back up to the house.

“Taylor’s arriving this evening, by the way,” she continues, entering the back door to the kitchen. “She’ll come round tomorrow. She’s staying in a hotel, since we don’t have the room space right now, before you ask,” she looks at you knowingly—she knew exactly what you were about to ask.

You perch on a bar stool. “Any space for Conrad in that hotel?” you joke. “I feel bad that he’s sleeping on the floor all summer,”

“He suggested it when we were first talking about you coming,” Belly begins. “I think he just really wanted you back in the house. We all did,”

So, it was Conrad’s idea to suffer on the floor for your sake?

“I still feel bad,”

“Don’t,” Belly says softly. “He really really doesn’t mind,”

You and Conrad head into town after breakfast, under instruction from Belly to find vases for the flower arrangements for the wedding. You search store after store, collecting multiple different vases that fit her theme.

Conrad is bored. He’s milling around next to you, but not really focused. Every time you pick up another vase he rolls his eyes, groaning to himself and leaning against store shelves for some respite.

“Hey,” you click your fingers at him once, when you see him fucking falling asleep. “Wake up, idiot,” Conrad flicks his eyes open, but it’s clear that he’s had enough. You stop and turn to him, frowning at him slightly. “Didn’t sleep well?”

“Something like that,” he lets out. His voice is a coarse croak. You suddenly feel awful.

“I told you that if you needed to sleep in your bed that I’d—,”

“And I elected not to hear you,” he cuts over you, strolling forward with sagged shoulders. “I’m fine, really,” he lies. You tut at him involuntarily, shooting him a knowing look.

“Let’s get a coffee,” you say, all but dragging Conrad out of the store.

You park Conrad’s Jeep outside a small café, one that you’d seen have a transfer from owner to owner over the years, but the coffee was ultimately the best in Cousins. A bell dings when you and Conrad pull open the door, and inside you’re met with the bitter burst of coffee granules in the air.

Conrad grabs the back of your top as you stride to the counter. You think nothing of it. It’s just normal now, for him to want to be close. For you to accept that closeness.

You haven’t talked more about what happened the other day—the confession, the attraction. Instead, you both accept that you said it, admitted it, and it’s basically gone back to normal. Laurel gives you knowing looks in the house, same as Cleveland with Conrad, but the two of you act as normal as you always have; inseparable, happy, emotions and feelings hidden underneath the banter you share instead.

“One Cappuccino and an iced latte plea—,”

“Don’t I know you?” the server’s voice juts over yours, and you finally get a good look at him. The years fall away, and suddenly you’re sixteen, sat with Jeremiah and his friends by the pool. Conrad was sailing that day.

“Oh my God... Lucas?” you reply.

“The one and only!” he exclaims. He’s a tall man, with brunette hair slicked back and stuffed into a backwards cap. His muscles look like a bunch of mangoes underneath some tarp. He’s fucking huge. Does everyone in Cousins look like they’re on steroids?

The two of you laugh and go through re-introductions. All the while, Conrad is silent next to you. He’s staring Lucas down, fingers pulling on your top so much that he’s started pulling you backwards.

“Conrad,” you say quickly, noting his obvious change in behaviour. “You remember Lucas?” you turn to him, getting a good look at his frown. If looks could kill...

“I see the Fisher’s every summer, still,” Lucas responds on Conrad’s behalf. “How you doing, Connie? How does it feel knowing that your baby brother is getting hitched before you?”

Conrad lets out the most rancid laugh you’ve ever heard. “Feels great,” he basically spits it. “Can we get our coffee now?” he demands.

“Conrad,” you say once, shooting him a disappointed stare.

“It’s all good. That was one Cappuccino and an iced latte—,”

“To go,” Conrad interjects again. You shoot daggers at him with your eyes, astounded that he’s acting so rudely. It’d been a while since you’d seen Conrad this way—seething, eyes on fire, chest pumping pure adrenaline around his body as his rage hits its peak.

But to get angry at a random guy? You thought he was better than that.

You pay for the drinks, stepping forward and tapping your card down. Conrad’s still clutching onto your shirt, as if he’s jealous, or scared, or anything.

“I guess I’ll see you at the wedding,” Lucas says, skirting his eyes over you as you pick up the two to-go coffees.

“Definitely,” you smile.

“Would you maybe want to grab a drink sometime, too? Before everyone fucks off after summer again?” he asks, and you practically hear Conrad’s anger bubbling inside his body. It’s obvious Lucas is hitting on you, but Conrad’s behaviour was only pissing you off.

You didn’t want to hook up with Lucas, didn’t want anything with him, but out of spite surrounding Conrad’s shitty reaction, you say “That sounds nice, yeah,”

Conrad tugs you backwards immediately. You smack his hand off your top venomously, not even bothering to turn around and look at his face. Lucas is already looking at him, awkward smile on his lips. “See you at the wedding, too, Connie?”

“Don’t call me that,” he says through a clenched jaw. You finally swivel around, shoving the cappuccino in his hands.

“Go and wait in the car,” you demand, utterly embarrassed by his childish behaviour. He shoots you this look; one that could only say—what the fuck? This guy? Seriously?— before he leaves the café without a word. The bell on the door dings as he storms out.

You exchange numbers with Lucas, inwardly raging at the situation that just occurred. Lucas seems fine though, as you wave goodbye a few minutes later. As soon as the café door shuts behind you, your face drops into pure anger.

Conrad’s leaning on the passenger door of the Jeep, arms crossed, sipping coffee every few seconds angrily. You storm towards him, not even knowing where the fuck to begin.

“What the fuck was that?”

“What?” Conrad raises his brows at you. “With me? Are you fucking joking?”

“You were vile in there, Conrad. For no fucking reason,”

“Lucas is a dick. I thought you fucking knew that. Excuse me if I got pissed when it was clear he wanted to jump into bed with you—,”

“Do you hear yourself? You acted like a goddamn child—,”

“At least I didn’t agree to a fucking date with a moron who doesn’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’,”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you let out, exhausted already. You step back in realisation, finding the words slowly. “So that’s it, huh? You can’t fucking stand it when I speak to a man this isn’t you, Jere or Steven, is that it?”

“Oh, fucking hell, please—,” Conrad rolls his eyes.

“No, no, I’m right. Want me to go find another random man to have a two-minute conversation with and see how long it takes you to fucking explode?” you’re both screaming now, breathing heavily, on a raging war path about who’s in the right.

“Fuck you,” Conrad says, seething. It hits your heart the hardest. You let out a disgusted laugh, not knowing how this even happened. You’re amazed at how fast this escalated, all stemming from Conrad’s behaviour.

You grab the car keys from your pocket, chucking them at him suddenly. “Drive yourself home, asshole,” you say lowly, before you start walking towards the beach. Conrad fumbles as he catches the keys, dropping his coffee in the process. You don’t care enough to look back.

“Where the fuck are you going?” he yells.

“To get some fresh fucking air!” you yell back, storming down the small hill to the beach. People sat outside at the café sip their drinks in awe, overhearing the entire ordeal between you and Conrad. You ignore them, waiting for the sound of the Jeep driving away to hit your ears.

When it finally does, you let out a sigh.

You walk down the beach, shoes in hand and ocean breeze calming you down bit by bit. After fifteen minutes, you’ve walked a little under halfway home. Conrad should be back at the house by now. You stop abruptly, looking out towards the sea, breathing in deeply.

What the fuck, Conrad? What the fuck.

Conrad slams the driver’s seat of the Jeep loudly, picking up the bags of vases as he makes his way to the front door. Opening the front door, he’s met with Belly and Jeremiah, stood beneath the archway.

“You didn’t ask me though, Bells. This is as much my day as it is yours—,”

“I thought you would have wanted him here, after everything that’s happened. I grew up with him too, you know—,”

“That wasn’t your decision to make!” Jere exclaims. “Dad being here won’t be good for Conrad or for me,”

Conrad stops abruptly, and his brother finally notices his presence. Belly’s the first to let out a sigh; guilty. By the looks on their faces, it’s obvious they’ve been fighting since you and him left for town.

“I’m going sailing,” Conrad announces out of the blue.

“I’m coming,” Jeremiah says quickly.

“Jeremiah,” Belly lets out, obviously upset. He looks at her sadly, annoyed; maybe he thought she was better than this.

“We’ll be back later,” he says. It’s not a promise; it sounds like a punishment of sorts. Jeremiah runs upstairs to get changed, leaving Conrad and Belly alone.

Conrad gently hands Belly the bags of vases. “She picked them all,”

“Where is she?” Belly asks quietly. Conrad swallows uncomfortably.

“She wanted to walk home,” is all he says. It’s enough to tell Belly that they fought, as well. There was something in the air, something in sea, today. That had to be it.

Belly sits on the beach after Jere and Conrad leave to sail. She runs her fingers through the sand, picking it up and sifting it to the ground again. You see her as you approach the house, still stomping off your anger, despite walking for thirty minutes.

You approach Belly, hair blowing in the wind and thighs burning from treading through sand. “Hey!” you shout, getting closer with every stride. You stop when you’re a metre from her, peering down at her obviously sad, little face.

Something’s happened with her, too. You don’t know what, but you know you’ll find out soon. Still riding the coattails of your fight with Conrad, you suggest the first thing that comes to mind.

“Do you wanna get drunk?”

Belly looks up at you, eyes glassy. “Yes,”

You’re two bottles of wine and two big bags of chips down when Belly finally asks “Why did you walk home? Did something happen?”

You swill your glass of white for a few seconds, blowing out a big huff of air. Before this point, your conversation was blissful. No mention of the boys, no mention of their fights—just wedding talk, girl talk, reminiscing.

“Is it that obvious?”

Belly scoffs. “Conrad is attached at your fucking hip. Of course, it’s obvious. He wouldn’t have drove home without you unless something happened,”

You tell her about the café, about his behaviour. She looks thoughtful, listening to every word as the cogs in her brain think of something to offer.

“You know Conrad. He’s protective,” she replies.

“That doesn’t make it okay. It was embarrassing,” you take an annoyed gulp of wine. “I’m a grown woman, you know? I don’t need him acting like this. It’s not like we’re together,” you stop after your prior sentence, realising more and more that Conrad’s outburst had purely been from jealously.

“Sometimes, it seems like you are,” Belly says smally. She looks at you with soft eyes. “This summer doesn’t feel like when we were kids. You and Conrad were always close, but... I don’t know, it seems like more now,”

Did she know about your confession to each other? About the obvious attraction?

“I—,” you start, but you have to halt yourself while your brain fires thoughts at you. You hold your head in your hands, pinching the bridge of your nose painfully. “I don’t know, honestly,”

“You like him?” Belly chides. You let out a huff.

“Not if he’s gonna act like this, no,” you let out. “But... I mean, I love him, you know?”

“We all love Conrad—we all love each other—but is it a ‘you’re my best friend’ sort of love, or something else?” she keeps digging. You don’t know what to reply, don’t know what to feel. You’ve never had to think like this before, about the possibilities, about your own feelings this deeply, especially not for Conrad.

You’re reminded of the way Belly looked at you and Conrad during your dress fitting. It hits you like a truck. She’s looking at you in the same way, now.

“You pulled this same face at the boutique, Bells,” you say, smiling at the way she backtracks her expression.

“No, I did not,” she lets out, fumbling over her words. “I was just—admiring—the way you two were interacting—,”

“You want us to get together,”

“Would it be so bad?” she bursts. All her secrets spill out in one solid package. “Me and Jere, you and Conrad, Steven and Shayla. Summers here. Maybe even life here, since Conrad is planning on moving to the beach house,”

“He’s what?” you question. Belly gasps subtly, leaning back and trickling her fingers over her mouth.

“I... wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” she says smally. You’re on the brink of laughing in her face. Drunk Belly is the worst secret keeper. “Please don’t tell him I told you,”

“I won’t,” you promise. “But you have to tell me why, now,”

“I mean, wouldn’t you want to move here, too?” Belly splutters. “I think Cousins feels more like home than Boston does for him, now,”

Home. Cousins felt like home to you, too. That was a funny thing to admit, considering your parents’ marriage had fucking collapsed in the beach house. Nothing could beat the feeling though—getting off a ten hour flight, driving through the city until you reach the border, all the way down until you hit the sea—that was what coming home felt like.

“Still though—just imagine it,” Belly continues. “Would falling in love with Conrad really be so awful?”

“You’re biased,” you chuckle.

“I am not!” Belly bursts, slopping wine on the dock. “Teenage Belly’s infatuation with Conrad Fisher is dead and buried,”

“So, you went for his brother instead,” you smile smugly. Belly smacks you on your thigh.

“Fuck you,” she lets out, but her smile is too big to not be real.

The two of you get through another bottle of wine by the time the boys get home. Laurel and Cleveland are out of town for the evening, researching Cleveland’s new book. Steven’s at Shayla’s. The house is empty, besides the fucking tension of your shared arguments with the Fisher boys.

Jeremiah’s the first out onto the patio, while Conrad still stands in the kitchen. “Are you guys okay?” Jere yells. Both of you immediately duck to the floor of the dock, laughing like schoolgirls.

“Do you want to have a sleepover?” Belly suggests.

“That sounds like a dream,” you giggle back. Belly stands then, looking back towards the house, bottle of Chardonnay in her hand.

“We’re fine!” she yells. Jere disappears back inside, no doubt to play video games with Connie on the couch.

When you both eventually drag yourselves inside, Jeremiah and Conrad are watching a movie. There’s a bowl of popcorn between them, actors laughing on the TV, but the mood couldn’t have been flatter. They definitely talked on the boat.

Belly slings her arm through yours as the two of you round the corner to the living room. The boys look up to meet you both; your giddy, drunk, female empowered asses.

“We’re having a sleepover tonight,” Belly announces. “We’re taking Conrad’s room,”

“Is your third guest another bottle of wine?” Conrad speaks up, as rude as ever. You stare at him plainly, bluntly, not even bothering to vocalise against him this time.

“Why? You jealous?” you say spitefully. Conrad turns back to the TV immediately, frown covering his pretty boy face. Jeremiah looks at his brother for a second, before shooting you a saddened look.

“Sleep well,” he says, before looking at Belly. “Both of you,” Belly’s face drops sadly. This must be the first time in a while where they haven’t slept in the same bed.

You smile at Jeremiah. “Thanks, Jere,”

It feels funny having someone in the bed beside you in Conrad’s room. You’ve got used to Conrad on the floor beneath you, sleeping soundly, making noises in his sleep. Belly snuggles up next to you, leaning into you on the pillow beside you. You do the same, facing her nose to nose.

She still looks sad, like she wishes this evening had ended differently. Gently, you pick up a piece of her hair and brush it behind her ear.

“Still feel rough, Bells?” you whisper. The moon is shining through the tiniest gap in Conrad’s curtains, casting a faint glow over her face. Her eyes are still glassy, still weeping.

“We’ve never gone to sleep without resolving a fight before,” she whispers back. “It just... feels weird,” she admits. “And now... the more I’ve thought about it, I definitely should have asked him first about Adam,”

Belly invited Adam to the wedding, without Jeremiah knowing. It’d been a few years since Adam had contacted the boys. After Susannah died, it was very easy for them all to go their separate ways. The brothers together in Cousins every summer, Adam in England most of the time.

“Maybe you should tell him that,” you suggest, softly running your fingers through her thick hair.

“And leave you here to suffer with Conrad?” she says, peering at you with puppy dog eyes. You lay your hand on her shoulder, smiling.

“I can deal with Conrad,” you whisper. “What I can’t deal with is seeing you so upset,”

Belly snuggles closer into your chest. You always did feel like a big sister to her.

“Do you think he’ll apologise?” she asks. You let out a sigh. You want to be certain that he will, but Conrad had always struggled with biting his tongue and letting go of his pride. Jeremiah, however, had always been somewhat of the peacekeeper—

Maybe their sailing trip talked some sense into him.

“I guess we’ll see,” you say, trying not to sound so uncertain.

Belly gives you a swift kiss on the cheek, before hoisting herself out of bed. You watch as she leaves, headed for Jeremiah’s room and clicking the door shut.

Belly makes sure to be quiet as the door creaks shut, but almost screams at the top of her lungs when she sees a black silhouette before her on the landing. She gasps, clutching at her chest in fear before realising who it is.

“Conrad— Jesus Christ,” she lets out, feeling her heart pump beneath her ribs.

“It’s definitely Conrad,” he jokes, whispering at her from the other side of the hallway. They both stop, wondering what to say given the circumstances. “Going to see Jere?” he chides.

Belly nods in the dim light. “You?” she asks, but it’s obvious what he’s doing. Conrad lets out a huff, scuffing his bare feet on the sanded floor.

“Yeah,” he confesses. Slowly, they move past each other, heading for the rooms that each of them just left. Belly stops before Jeremiah’s door, back turned to Conrad.

“Be good,” she says once, sterner this time, but still with a soft tone that incites him to do the right thing. Conrad smiles to himself, before Belly enters Jere’s room and shuts the door behind her.

“I will,” he whispers to himself, before creeping across the floorboards to his door.

You hear it open, a creak first, before the subtle whoosh of air displacing. You can sense his presence immediately, sense him stood in the doorway, wondering how to go about this entire situation. Conrad shuffles into the room, shutting the door gently.

You’re laying down on the right side of the bed, back turned to the door. Conrad’s stare hits the back of your neck immediately, forcing your hairs to stand on edge. Part of you thinks he’s going to creep to the mattress and lie himself down without saying a word, but another part is screaming at you that he’s stalling.

Stalling to talk. Stalling to crawl into bed with you.

He clears his throat gently behind you. “Can we share?” he chides softly, and his voice is enough to make your heartrate accelerate.

It’s late, the moon is shining through the drapes, and suddenly you’re all too aware that your pyjamas are thin.

Nevertheless, you shuffle in bed, still not looking at him as you peel back the covers and indicate he can join you. Leaning back into the pillow, you watch in your peripheral as he descends onto the mattress next to you. His legs are so fucking long, broad shoulders for days, so it’s no surprise when you feel his bare skin skim your arm.

Goosebumps prickle on your skin. You wish you could sand them away.

He covers himself with the duvet, and the warmth of his body drifts over your bare legs. You both lie in silence, looking at the ceiling, hesitant about how to even begin. He’s just so close—closer than you get day to day, closer emotionally, too.

Conrad sighs softly, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry,” he says gently. His voice trickles over you instantly, heightening your senses. Everything sounds—feels—more intense at night. If you closed your eyes right now, you were sure you’d be able to hear his heart, beating in time with yours.

“It’s selfish,” he adds, and you hold your breath instinctively. “I just want you all to myself this summer,”

The manner in which Conrad Fisher speaks makes you crazy. The vagueness of his jokes, the accuracy of his intelligence, and the bluntness of his emotions. It would be comical that he says his feelings so plainly, without hesitation, if it didn’t make you want to melt.

He’d always had that effect, that magnetism, that made you latch onto his every word when you were a teenager. As you grew up, through your fights and absences, you learned how to combat his attitude—but this?

What were you supposed to say to this?

What were you supposed to say apart from you can have me.

It’s eating you alive, the want to express that you want nothing more than him next to you in this bed for the rest of the summer—maybe beyond—but the one thing that holds you back is this little slice of life; this time you have in Cousins; with the people you so dearly love.

What would happen to this little hidden realm of your life if you committed to something and then fucked it up?

You want to spill it all, eject your guts onto the floor, catapult your heart into his hands.

Instead, you sigh softly. “You’ve got me,” you croak, swallowing back a sudden sullen sadness that just slotted itself into your heart.

Conrad turns to you then, flickering his eyes over your side profile. Every coherent part of yourself is screaming at you not to look at him, but it’s overtaken by this craving in your gut—a craving reserved solely for Conrad fucking Fisher.

You turn to him too, hair falling over your jaw.

You’ve never seen him like this; face to face in the same bed; in the darkness with only the moon to tell you where his features lie. His eyes, warm as the bonfires on the beach; his nose, strong and pointed in the same way his attitude expresses itself; his collar bones and subtle curves and the mole just above his lip that somehow always catches your eye when you look at his face.

“You’ve got me,” you repeat, softer this time, upon your heart melting as soon as his gaze hit yours.

“Only for the summer,” he replies, swallowing softly. “Not forever,”

Do you want me forever, Conrad?

“Of course, you do,” you urge, suddenly overcome with the immense want to reassure him. Of course, he had you forever. Even after you left Cousins this summer.

Slowly, he reaches out his hand, tangling his fingers between a few strands of your hair. Gently, he tugs them behind your ear, exposing your entire expression to him. He smiles sadly when he rests his hand comfortably on your neck, thumb gently tracing your jaw.

“Not like this,” he says. “Not all of you,”

His eyes dart around your face, not sure where to land or what else he can take in of you. The frenzy of his stare hits your chest first, until your entire body is hit with the desire to yell at him—

I’m right here! I’m right in front of you!

The insurmountable weight of this summer having an end hit you instead, as you struggle against the want to flush your lips against his. Your days here are numbered, your days with him are numbered. Cousins isn’t real, is it? Only for a few months a year does it actually appear on a map.

But the other half of your psyche keeps you tied down. If you did that, it could get even more messy. If you gave in to his charm, his smell, his softness and the way he simply thrives when he’s around you—everything could go wrong.

“Maybe that’s the poetic part about it,” you let out, but your voice doesn’t sound right. It sounds strained, tongue tied, as your body tries to get you to speak the words you desperately want to. “Two months, then back to reality,”

Conrad’s face softens into something that makes your heart hurt. He nods once, but you don’t believe him. “Yeah,” he mutters.

You still don’t believe him.

Gently, he tightens his grip on your neck and tugs you forward into his chest. You shuffle towards him immediately, until your bodies are flush under the duvet. You can feel all of him like this; the pulse beneath his skin; the blood in his veins; the subtle pop of a heart string breaking.

It feels right. It feels right being this close to Conrad Fisher.

You snuggle yourself into him, as he encases you in his embrace strongly. You rise your thigh up under the duvet, so it’s resting upon him, wrapped around his torso comfortably. One of his hands trickles upon your bare skin there, keeping you in place—holding onto you for dear life.

Falling asleep in Conrad’s arms wasn’t something you ever imagined happening, but now that you had a taste of it—

You were in danger.

Big, fuck off, danger.

Tag list: @browneyes-issac @cjansw234 @mightiestheroes @slxt4myselfxd @m3laniehearts @advicefromnixxxx @planttett @ready-hit-it @lonelywitchv2 @conradswifee @sunnystarkey

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 10 months

Note

Can I ask for a slightly more depraved Laurel x reader fic than your usual? I was thinking Laurel still in disguise of Marilyn falls for reader and they start a relationship, reader finds out that Marilyn is actually Laurel and her plans for Nevermore, but just keeps quiet about it, even cleaning up after Laurel and Tyler when they accidentally leave evidence behind. But she mistakes Laurel and Tyler's relationship for romantic and it makes the reader...snap. Reader ends up killing someone and confronts Laurel and Tyler with the body and covered in blood. Reader is like, "see! I can kill too! Anything he can do, I can do better! You're suppose to love ME not him!" Just full out unhinged rant. Laurel just gathers reader up in her arms and reassures reader that she doesn't have feelings for Tyler, explains the whole Hyde and master dynamic to reader and that she was just trying to keep reader safe from it all. And then Laurel rails the reader with a strap-on to further prove her love, whispering reassurances and maybe plans on giving reader a baby in the future after she succeeds with her plans in destroying Nevermore and how hot the reader looks covered in blood. Just a reassuring almost worshipful Laurel smut scene if possible. Thank you!!!

Yessss, here it is!!!! I hope you like it, and I hope I made it dark enough for you!!! Sorry about the language mistakes!!! :)))))

I'm better than him

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill/Laurel Gates x Fem, Student! Reader

Warnings: smut, mentions of murder, deranged reader, strap on, full of kinks, manipulative Laurel, dark themes, very dark themes

Word count: 6,078

Summary: You don’t care about her name, about her paste, about her plans. You love her, she’s gonna drive you crazy, and you don’t care…

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!! Obviously everyone on this fic is over 18

“But… They say she died,” you said head down, listening to a disturbing revelation from your girlfriend.

You thought you loved Marilyn Thornhill, your botany teacher. The kind and loving redhead who always had a smile for everyone. That woman who confessed her love for you, how hard those months had been without being able to tell you, hiding it from you in case you thought she was crazy, that it was immoral and a simple pervert.

You reciprocated it, for even longer. That little kiss under the stars was the beginning of a clandestine relationship, hidden, but loving, subtle and slow, unhurried, without wanting to speed things up. A pure and sincere love, or so you thought.

That night you sat on the pier. Marilyn said that she had something to tell you, something important. You waited for some words of impatience, that she really wanted to love you, that the wait was over and she would finally make love to you. She always told you that it was not the time, that good things have to wait. You had no experience, but you did know that you wanted it, wanted to show how much love you felt for her, a love that bordered on the fine line of obsession.

But not. That was not what happened. Marilyn started saying very strange things to you. She wanted you to promise her that you would continue to love her, that you would not leave her. You couldn't do anything but swear that your love was inexhaustible, unbreakable, that nothing could make you stop loving her. Not even the confession that Marilyn wasn't really her name, that her name was Laurel, Laurel Gates, and that she had reasons for it. You didn't mind at all, but you did really want to hear those explanations. You were no a stranger to Jericho's history, and the maligned Gates family was a regular topic of conversation among its inhabitants.

“I know, but here I am,” she told you under the moonlight. You looked at the lake, thoughtful, nodding slightly.

“Why?” You asked, with a small voice, while swinging your legs that dangled from the platform.

“That's not the question, honey,” she told you, holding your hand. “Yesterday I saw what your classmates were doing to you, the water joke.”

You weren't exactly the happiest girl in Nevermore. You were weird, you always were. Your tastes and hobbies were not the most common. You had telekinetic powers and you had to stay calm, relaxed. For that, all you had to do was listen to classical music with your eyes closed, or read poetry. You tried to isolate yourself, sit in some corner of the quad and go unnoticed.

Even though they were all outcasts, being on an equal footing with you, supposedly being repudiated by society, they considered fun to scare you, to make you nervous to see how many windows you broke or how many wooden benches were thrown. The previous afternoon was too much for you.

You were quietly reading when someone threw a bucket of ice water at you from the floor above. The scare and the cold made you break a nearby window, getting the laughter of all your classmates. All those situations would be unbearable if you didn't have Marilyn by your side, if she wasn't there to comfort you in her arms, to whisper words of love to you.

“How long are you going to allow them to treat you like this?” She asked, squeezing your hand tightly in hers.

“I only have one year left, I'll be able to bear it as long as I'm by your side,” you said, leaning on her chest. She softly kissed your head, sighing.

“The outcast never learn, (Y/N). They only know how to do evil things,” she whispered while she caressed you. You looked up, nodding. You agreed.

“I can’t do anything. Principal Weems punishes them but...”

“Principal Weems is just like them, (Y/N),” she said, abruptly interrupting you. “ She's not going to do anything to help you, she doesn't want to. You are just one more student to her, you mean nothing, just one more income in her checking account.”

Those words really hurt you. Larissa seemed like a kind, understanding woman, she even cared about you and the bullying you were suffering. Naturally Marilyn's word was worth much more to you. She was always right, always. You snuggled in even more, noticing how tears formed in your eyes.

“Don't be sad, (Y/N). It is the truth. It's not now, it's always been like that. Surely you have heard stories about my family… About my brother.”

You agreed.

“They say that he tried to kill two students, that he was a stalker and that he died falling over the railing, that it was an accident,” you said, feeling bad for knowing that this boy was her brother and that you didn't know it.

“That's a lie, (Y/N). They are pathetic and vile lies that they tell to wash their hands, to show that they were the victims.”

You found it hard to believe that the sweet, tender Marilyn spoke in such a dark, cold tone, but as she said, she was not Marilyn Thornhill.

“What happened?” You asked, pulling away a bit.

“My brother just wanted to do the common good. He wanted to end years of mistreatment, of suffering, to put an end to that superiority that the outcasts believe they have over normal people.

You blinked, realizing something important.

“But me, I'm an outcast and I don't think I'm superior to the normis,” you said, with a doubtful voice. Marilyn looked at you and smiled, placing a soft kiss on your lips, running a hand over your cheek.

“I know, honey, I know you're not like that,” she told you tenderly. “You have nothing to do with those barbarians from Nevermore. Don't believe the things you've heard, (Y/N), they were the ones who killed my brother, the ones who killed my family,” she said hissing, with anger in her words. You looked around you carefully, making sure no one was passing by.

“Didn't he fall?” You asked curiously. She shook her head with a dangerous smile.

“No, (Y/N), they stabbed him with a sword. Garrett was weak, a good boy who had fallen in love with an outcast and was just trying to declare himself. But the girl's boyfriend got jealous, saying that no normi could ever be with an outcast, that he and my whole family were scum just for wanting a better world.

“I…” You whispered, assimilating all that information.

“My mother couldn't bear it, she hanged herself in the garden. My father refuged on alcohol, letting himself die. I was left alone, (Y/N) Do you realize? That's what outcasts do, they take away everything that matters to you,” Her voice sounded broken, deeply hurt.

You were stunned. You had never heard that version of the story before and the more you reflected on it and the way you were treated, the more you began to see things clearly, you began to hate Nevermore and all the people who inhabited it.

“That's horrible Mar… Laurel,” you said embarrassed, hugging her. She hugged you back, rubbing your back.

“Don't worry, (Y/N). That's going to end. All the outcasts of Nevermore will pay for what they did and for what they do to you. Together we are going to take revenge on them, to make their hatred and pride disappear from this world,” she told you, smiling. You widened your eyes and swallowed.

You were starting to get a little nervous. That sounded very bad, horrible. Deep down, imagining those pathetic bullies burning up and disappearing from your life was an idea that had been attractive to you for a long time.

“How? They are more than us and…” You said, being silenced by her finger on your lips.

“Do you think I would have come to this filthy academy if I didn't have a plan? Come with me, I want to show you something.”

After those words she took you to her car. She drove without lights so she wouldn't be seen. You looked at her a little confused. It was a lot of information in a very short time. But you didn't care about her name, what her family was. She was still the same redhead that drove you crazy, and she had the same hatred for Nevermore that you were beginning to have.

Laurel led down a road you didn't know and into some trees.

“Where are we?” You asked when she stopped the engine.

“Now you'll see, sweetheart,” she answered you, getting out of the car.

There was nothing around you. The redhead took your hand and she started walking towards the road again. You didn't see anything and you didn't understand anything, but you let yourself be carried away like a leaf in the wind.

After a few minutes walking you arrived at your destination. An abandoned house on the side of the road.

“I'm sorry I made you walk, (Y/N), but I can't allow them to associate me with this house,” she told you, approaching the padlock that was on the bars, opening it.

“What is this place?”

“It's my family's house, (Y/N), the Gates mansion.”

You entered the old house with her. There was light and it seemed that the passage of time had been as benevolent as possible.

“It's…Big,” you said, looking at the spaciousness that house had.

“Do you like it?” Laurel asked, grabbing your waist. You nodded, imagining a life with her in that place, far from Nevermore. “You can go wherever you want, but don't go to the basement.”

You turned with a frown.

“Why?” You asked.

“(Y/N), for my plans to be carried out, some methods are needed...Methods a little... Abrupt. I don't want you to get into this, honey, I want to keep you safe from anything nasty.”

You blinked, but you shook your head. You didn't care what was down there. The love you felt was so sick that you didn't care about anything, you just wanted to help your beloved, make her happy, see that horrible school burn while you kiss her. The method was indifferent to you.

“I, I want to help you,” you said, pleading. The redhead looked at you and shook her head at first. Then she bit her lips and she kissed you deeply, caressing your cheeks.

“Honey, I don't think you should…”

“I want to do it, please, let me help you,” you said, eager to be part of her revenge, your revenge. “I'll do whatever it takes, I promise I won't be scared, please...”

Laurel sighed and nodded, not quite sure.

-Okay, (Y/N). Come.- She told you, indicating that you should follow her to the basement.

You weren't afraid and that made you feel strange. You should have, you should sense that something was wrong, that the strange deaths of hikers in Jericho might have something to do with it. Your feelings weren't wrong.

In the old basement there seemed to be a kind of makeshift operating room, full of shelves with strange glass jars, some with something inside.

The redhead didn't say anything to you, she let you observe on your own. You approached one of those jars, realizing with horror that it contained a human hand inside a transparent liquid. Your stomach knotted, but you weren't afraid, just curious. Laurel watched you while she read a strange book. She was clearly studying your reactions to what you were seeing.

You turned, scratching your head.

“What is all this stuff?” You asked.

“Aren't you scared?” The redhead said, approaching you a little surprised.

“Well, I don't like it, but it doesn't scare me, not if it's part of your plan.”

She flashed a surprised and pleased smile, a little incredulous.

“It's just one of the steps to follow for our revenge, do you want me to explain it to you?”

You nodded profusely and she led you to the table in the middle of the room, where she left the book she was holding.

“Codex Umbrarum?” You read confused.

“It's Latin, (Y/N), it can be translated as “The Book of Shadows,” Laurel explained to you. You listened intently, noting the name written below it.

“Goody Addams? Does it have something to do with Wednesday Addams?”

“Well, yes. Goody was her ancestor. A powerful sorceress who wrote all her knowledge in this book. I assume you know who Joseph Crackstone is.”

You nodded as Laurel turned the pages, explaining each step of her plan step by step.

She wanted to revive that pilgrim, the founder of Jericho, and she wanted to do it thanks to that book that, according to her, offered incredible possibilities. She needed parts of human bodies to do that. She was just going to tell you how she got them, when footsteps were heard coming down the stairs.

“Oh, just in time,” the redhead said, smiling, while you leafed through that mysterious book. When you turned around, you saw a boy you recognized. The bartender at Jericho's cafeteria, the sheriff's son, Tyler Galpin.

He was carrying something in his hand, something terrible, it looked like a finger. He looked at you startled and then back at Laurel.

“Tyler, I think you know (Y/N),” she said, gesturing at you. He nodded. “Well, I hope she can count on your protection, right?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he said, smiling as if he were dazed.

“You see, (Y/N), Tyler is a Hyde. He obeys everything I command. He is my little monster, isn't he?” She said affectionately.

That tone of voice made you feel bad, something moved inside you. Tyler nodded just as sweetly.

After she explained everything to you, you couldn't find anything in your mind that told you how wrong that was. You decided to shut up, to be complicit in everything the redhead did. You accompanied her every night to the Gates mansion, helping her prepare things for the ritual that would culminate your revenge.

Your relationship did not progress. It continued with timid kisses and loving smiles. She did not go from there, even having sacrificed your heart. You had the terrible impression that you were not as important to her as you thought.

You wouldn't think so if she didn't boil your blood every time Laurel kissed Tyler on the cheek, every time she said he was a good boy, and he was her favorite monster. The shadow of suspicion fell over both of them. You started imagining horrible things in your head, things that were impossible for you. How far did the rewards promised by the redhead go? Was there something else between the two?

Just thinking about it made the school windows shake. You couldn't help it, you didn't feel as useful as he did, maybe that's why you thought she loved him, that she loved him more than you.

You did what you could, going through the scenes of the monster's crimes, cleaning up any evidence they might have left behind. You were just the errand girl. You didn't want that, you wanted to be something else, you wanted those kisses on the cheek, you wanted her to talk to you that way, you wanted to show that you were useful, but you didn't know how.

You had her kisses, yes, brief, deep but fleeting kisses, in your opinion lacking the love you saw in the way she addressed the boy. You wanted that affection, you wanted to be her monster.

You were walking on the road at night. Laurel had told you that she wanted you to go to the mansion, that she had a surprise for you. Maybe she didn't need you anymore, she told you it was missing a left foot, maybe she already had it, maybe your job as a part-time crime scene cleaner was over and she wouldn't need you anymore, she already had him.

It was always a sick, runaway love. You felt that you would be capable of dying for her, that everything she did had an explanation, that they should die, that they should suffer. So much time playing her game and you began to feel like one more pawn on it. You weren't angry, at least not with her. You were mad at yourself for not being able to be more helpful, for not being able to be Tyler.

“Hey, window breaker, go find a friend, you're in my way,” a voice behind you said. One of the regular bullies who used to harass you in Nevermore, rushed to your side, shoving you with his shoulder contemptuously.

“Asshole,” you replied, making the boy stop.

“What did you say?” He said, turning around, threatening.

You weren't in the mood to ignore his taunts, you were furious and jealous and it didn't help to also have to face one of those undesirables.

“I said, you're an asshole,” you said, almost foaming at the mouth. He made an exaggerated gesture of offense as he reached up, touching the balls of his feet with his hands. Immediately your eyes went down, looking at that succulent left foot that your girlfriend needed. Black clouds obscured your mind and you narrowed your eyes.

“Don't dare to insult me, freak,” he said with a cocky attitude. “You should know that no one in his right mind messes with a werewolf.”

“You don't scare me, Carl,” you hissed, clenching your fists.

“Oh, the cat sticks out its claws… Maybe I should teach you a lesson. I don't see Miss Thornhill anywhere, she can't defend you here.”

“Shut up,” you whispered, not taking your gaze from his feet.

“What? Are you asking me me to shut up?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanted it, weirdo,” he said, laughing, approaching you. You didn't back down, you stared at the mansion's bars, where a rusty metal bar trembled in the wind.

“I'm going to have a great time,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

It was an instant, a second. You could have fought back, run away, run at full speed, but you didn't. You wanted to please her, to be useful, and the perfect chance to do so presented itself in front of you. You would never get an opportunity like that again.

That iron bar that was loose returned under your orders to the boy's chest, piercing him immediately. Blood spattered over you, staining your face, your clothes, and your conscience.

He gaped, a trickle of blood coming from his mouth. That cocky look disappeared, being replaced by one of terror, of panic. Carl took a step forward, reaching his hand out to you. He couldn't take a step, immediately he collapsed to the ground, stopping breathing after a short time.

It was done already. You had just murdered a person, and you had done it on purpose, it was not an accident, you wanted to do it. You consoled yourself thinking that idiot deserved it, but soon the regret left your head and triumph filled your spirit. You had made it, you had killed the last victim for Laurel. It had been you, not Tyler.

With the help of your powers, you managed to clean the blood from the asphalt and move the boy's body inside the house. You took it to the basement and dropped it on the floor. You were euphoric with adrenaline and you quickly searched for something with which to obtain your trophy. You had to hurry, you didn't know when the redhead would arrive.

On one wall was an axe hanging. You could save yourself the pain and do it with your mind, but you wanted to enjoy winning, winning Laurel's heart at last. You raised the axe, aiming awkwardly for the boy's ankle, and with a cry of rage, fury, and hate, you struck that area, ripping the foot off its owner and staining you with even more blood.

Your smile was that of a crazy person, of a deranged girl. You were wide-eyed and staring at your prize. You dropped the axe and picked up that foot from the ground, admiring it as if it was magical. You heard the mansion door and a conversation. She had already arrived, and it seemed that she did not come alone. Good, better.

“And how do I tell her?” You heard Tyler ask.

“That's up to you, use your charms,” Laurel replied, going down the stairs.

They both froze when they saw you and turned on the light to see that disturbing spectacle.

“My God… (Y/N)…” She sighed, her mouth open “What have you done?”

You smiled, feeling that your effort was not being recognized. You were losing your mind, and control.

“Do you see, Laurel? I can be useful too,” you said with an increasingly nervous voice and a pleading smile.

The redhead looked at Tyler, who also had a rather scared face.

“Honey…” She whispered, approaching you.

“I can help you too… I can… I can kill too!” You said, losing your temper.

She stopped and put her hands in front of her, by way of surrender.

“Calm down, (Y/N), come on, calm down and tell me what you're talking about,” she said with a soft, relaxed voice.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about! I know you prefer him!” You yelled, pointing at Tyler, who shook his head, not knowing what was happening.

“What? Honey, I really don't know...”

“I thought you loved me! You told me you loved me!” You kept screaming. “You were supposed to love me, we were going to do this together, but I see how you kiss him, how you talk to him... Tell me the truth Laurel, say that you love him and that you are only using me!”

“Please, calm down,” she told you, approaching again. The deranged attitude you had alerted Tyler, who also moved frowning.

“I… I, I'm better than him! I can do everything better than him! I'm better… I'm better…” You sobbed, breaking into tears when emotions overwhelmed you.

Laurel saw that moment as the perfect time to hug you lovingly, trying to calm you down while you cried desperately.

“Don't cry, my love... Calm down...” She whispered in your ear, going down to the ground with you, squeezing you tightly in her arms. “My girl, you are very wrong.”

You kept crying uncontrollably.

“Tell me the truth…” You sobbed against her chest. She picked up the foot in your hand and looked at it, tossing it to the boy.

“Put it in the jar,” she ordered.

“I’ve, I’ve done it for you… I wanted you to see me as more useful, to treat me the same way you treat Tyler,” you said, now hugging her tighter.

“Relax, my girl. You've done very well, honey...”

“Do you think so?” You asked, looking into her eyes. “Am I…Am I better than Tyler?”

“You are infinitely better, (Y/N). What nonsense were you thinking, huh? Honey, listen to me,” she told you, holding your face firmly and looking into your eyes. “There's nothing between me and Tyler, you hear me? Nothing. Never was and never will be. He is just an instrument, a pet, nothing else...”

You shook your head, trying to relax a bit.

“And why do you treat him like this?” You asked desperately.

“Well, it's better to have a bloodthirsty monster happy, don't you think? Listen to me (Y/N), he goes out of his way for me because it's his nature. He is my slave, he has to obey me and be faithful to me, but nothing else, I don't want anything else, he is a Hyde, not a lover. You know that I only love you, my girl...”

After those words, she kissed you tenderly, surely she would be savoring the iron taste of blood on your face, but that didn't stop her.

Your breathing calmed down.

“Are you better, honey? You are relaxed?”

You nodded as Laurel helped you up.

“I love you…” You sobbed. She caressed your cheeks and nodded, kissing you again.

“Come, let's go upstairs, you have to take off those clothes,” she told you, holding your hand. “Clean this up,” she ordered the boy.

You went up the stairs to the second floor. Laurel lovingly guided you to what was once her room. She gently led you to the bed and sat you on it, looking for something in a drawer.

“Let's see, my precious girl, we are going to clean that pretty face,” she told you, passing a wet wipe over your face. “That's right, my pretty girl...”

You sobbed but you no longer cried. You were calmer. Dangerously quiet. You had just killed someone and you didn't care, you only cared about her.

“Take off your jacket,” she asked you softly. You obeyed, with slow and clumsy movements. She took the garment and left it on top of a piece of furniture. She came back and crouched down in front of you, reaching her hands to the buttons of your shirt, undoing them.

You were startled, but she was smiling at you suggestively.

“Have you become shy?” She asked, whispering into your ear. You shook your head and clenched your fists. You were starting to shake. It was something unknown to you, being undressed by the woman you loved.

With a smooth movement she removed your shirt, and she stared for a moment at your bare chest. You looked up. Your eyes sparkled, but not with sadness, not with regret. Without thinking, you took the redhead's hand and brought it to your chest, running it gently over your skin. She was surprised, but she looked curious at what you were doing, letting herself to be guided.

“You have such a soft skin, (Y/N)…” She whispered, her breathing quickening.

“Caress me, please,” you asked with sad eyes. She nodded, reaching her hand to the clasp of your bra, letting it fall on the bed.

“My girl…”

“Please... I want you to love me... Please...” You said, taking your hands to her neck, so she wouldn't get away from you.

Her response came in the form of a soft, tender kiss, as her hands moved over your face, down your back, and finally over your breasts.

“You're beautiful, (Y/N)… So beautiful…” She said, gently pushing you to lie down on the bed. She got on top of you, not stopping kissing you for even a second.

You cried with joy, you cried when you felt the contact of her skin against yours, you cried to have those passionate kisses, those caresses that you wanted so much.

“Please, Laurel… Love me…” You begged again, noticing how your hips moved involuntarily. She sighed and sat up on top of you, running a hand up your torso, almost tickling you.

“Shhh, calm down honey. I'm going to take care of you, you're going to be fine…” She told you, unbuttoning your bloody pants, lowering them by your ankles. “No one has ever loved you, right?”

You shook your head, while she kissed your whole body, with desire, almost with adoration.

“Do you want me to be the first?” She asked, taking off her boots.

“Yes… Please… I need you,” you said, pulling her towards you, with nervousness and a warmth in your center that you had never felt before.

“What a good girl you are. You wanted to please me, right? You just wanted mommy to take care of you...” She said in your ear, passing a hand through the edge of your underwear, in a playful way.

“Yes... I wanted to show you how good I am for you...” You answered, looking at how her hand slipped into the fabric and finally, you felt her fingers caressing your wet folds, causing you a desperate moan.

“You're so excited… You want me so much…” She said, rubbing your clit in circles, sending waves of pleasure through your body. “I'm going to relax you, honey… Everything will be fine…”

You nodded, running a hand up her leg, over her blue jumpsuit. She laughed sweetly and amusedly.

“Relax, honey. This day is special for you...” She told you, taking your hand and taking it between her legs, where you could notice a growing humidity. “You see it? Just to see you naked, to see how you tremble with pleasure excites me so much...”

You gasped when you noticed the tip of one of her fingers gently enter you, slowly, very delicately.

“La, Laurel… I need, I need…” You said, feeling enormous frustration at that timid contact.

“I know, my girl. Easy, mommy just wants to make it easier. I don't want to hurt my precious girl,” she told you, putting a hand on your belly while her finger went deeper. You felt how your walls adapted to that intruder. It was a little uncomfortable, but not painful.

It didn't seem like she was making an act of love, it seemed like she was gaining space, getting used to your body now to two of her fingers. You closed your eyes at the sensation. No one had been there, you had given her the privilege of being her first. You had achieved the best of rewards, you were happy, in a cloud.

She withdrew her fingers and got off of you. You emitted a pitiful groan at the lack of her contact.

“Calm down, honey, calm down,” she said, unbuttoning her jumpsuit and lowering it to her ankles. Then she opened a drawer and took out two objects from it.

One looked like a jar with a transparent liquid. For the other you had no words. You knew that this strap on was for you, and you burned with excitement to see it, to imagine it inside you.

She buckled it on and climbed back on the bed, spilling some of the liquid to her hand, which she carried back between your legs.

It was a little cold at first, but you noticed how a warm sensation gave you pleasure. You looked up so you could see what she was doing, but she pushed you back down, giving you a quick kiss.

“Shh, don't worry honey. This will be good for you. Mommy cares about you, she doesn't want to hurt you... This will help you take it well, darling,” she said with a softness and tenderness that was not in keeping with what was going to happen. The love you felt was infinite, and her words, her caresses and her voice were all your nervous mind needed to calm down.

Laurel spread that liquid around your entrance while she inserted her fingers again, leaving no area without lubrication. She withdrew again and put some more liquid around the strap on, rubbing it and looking at you with desire, but also with love.

“Relax honey, I'll be nice, I promise,” she told you, taking your legs and lifting them a little, aligning the dildo with your entrance and rubbing it along your folds.

That sensation made you shudder. You moaned when you noticed how it rubbed against you, how it played with your entrance, without getting into it.

“Are you ready? Do you want mommy to make love to you?” She asked, putting the tip right in your hole. You nodded and took a breath, closing your eyes.

Little by little she was introducing it into you, slowly, very slowly. A stabbing pain made you double over and hiss in pain, clenching your fists hard.

“It, it hurts…” You hissed, holding that feeling as best you could. She looked at you with pity, caressing the lower part of your belly.

“I know, my love. Hold on a little, darling, soon you will feel better, soon you will feel pleasure.”

You nodded, enduring the pain, trusting her completely, without questions. You wanted to get away from her, to get her out of you for the pain to end. But you couldn't do that, you had to endure.

She was completely into you. Laurel didn't move, letting your body get used to it, letting your walls stretch out so you could start to feel comfortable.

Soon the pain was subsiding and other sensations made their way. A pleasure like no other, a feeling of fullness, of love, of warmth. She was inside you, the woman you loved was making love to you, she had taken your virginity, your innocence, although you had already taken care of ceasing to be innocent some time ago.

You groaned, indicating that you were already fine. She looked at you and caressed your legs.

“Now I'm going to move a bit, okay, honey?” She told you softly.

You agreed.

Little by little she moved, letting that object travel all the way. You opened your eyes at the unbearable pleasure you were feeling. Your hips moved to the rhythm that Laurel moved hers, getting a perfect synchronization, an immense pleasure.

You moaned, almost screamed. You were hers, completely hers. Your whole body was hers.

Her movements were delicate, discreet, slow. Laurel watched your face as she pushed herself in and out of you, causing her to start moaning as well. You didn't want to go faster, even if you wanted to. You wanted to enjoy, you wanted to savor each of her movements.

“I love you…” You said between gasps. She looked at you and smiled, never missing a beat, never stopping making love to you.

“Me too, my love…” She said, moaning, almost feeling that she herself was losing control, while she grabbed your legs and moved her hips harmoniously. “I love you so, so much…”

“I want, I want to be with you all my life,” you said, almost getting emotional. She groaned, and she slightly increased her speed.

“My girl... You will be... When we finally get rid of those freaks we will live together here, you and me. We will be so happy, (Y/N), can you imagine?”

“Yes… I want it so much,” you said, noticing how little by little your own hips accelerated.

“My love… We will get married,” she gasped, trying to keep that tenderness in her voice. “That witch’s book… We can do so many things…”

“So many things…” You repeated, feeling that you were losing control of yourself due to the increase in the force of her attacks.

“When everything is over, when we win... I'll give you a baby, my love... Our own child... Would you like it?”

You nodded excited by those words.

“Yes, I want you to give me a baby, Laurel, I want to carry your child in my womb…” You said panting, wanting time to go by faster and live that dream life with her.

“Oh, darling, you'll have it... We'll be a family... The happiest of the world,” she told you, caressing you.

“Laurel… I… I…” You said, noticing a growing heat in your center. Your movements were getting out of control and her gasps increased in time with her speed, almost as if she had read your mind.

“Cum, my love, free yourself, show mommy how much you love her, how much you enjoy her…” She moved more intensely, focusing on your most sensitive points.

“I'm… Very close...” You could tell between fast movements and furious growls. “Fuck…Fuck!” You yelled as an electric current ran through your body. She stopped, letting you enjoy the sensation.

Laurel pulled out of you and up to meet your mouth, kissing it mercilessly, giving you no time to breathe.

“I love you, my girl, I love you, I love you…” She repeated over and over again. “Please, don't doubt me again... my love...” She told you, almost desperate.

You shook your head, crying with emotion and happiness. She lay down next to you, bringing your head to her chest.

“Honey... You shouldn't have put yourself in danger,” she said after a moment of silence and heavy breaths. You looked at her, sighing.

“I wanted to get closer to you… I thought…”

“Shhh, don't say it, I don't want you to repeat it again. My dear, I just wanted you to be out of all this, I didn't want to involve you. It's so dangerous…” She told you, caressing your cheek with her hand. “Although I must confess that to see you covered in blood turned me on so much. You sure would have been a good Hyde.”

#marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x reader #wednesday #ms thornhill #oneshot #laurel gates #smut

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oscarthedino · 4 months

Text

Jeremiah x y/n

Summary: y/n Conklin is the middle sister of Steven and belly. You have been dating Conrad sense last summer but lately you have been noticing he was off. As summer is now approaching fast you can’t wait to see him and also hope you can figure out what is going on with him but you can’t believe what’s actually going to happen this summer.

Warnings: cursing, mention of death/cancer, cheating, possibly assault and smut

Chapter 4

You keep staring at the note everything flooding back. Your shoulder now pounding still as the sleep wears off. All of this was a complete mess and you knew you were about to get the worst of it when you went down stairs. Your head is now pounding to and you look over again and grab the smoothie taking a sip, damn this really does do wonders you think to your self. You lay in bed for a little bit longer but decide it’s time to go down stairs before your mom comes up at yells at you more.

You make your way down stairs and hear most everyone already awake. Your mom is sitting at the counter and Jeremiah and Steven are in the kitchen with jere trying to get Steven to get out. When you get to your set leaving a space in between you and your mom you look around for Conrad and see him sitting on the couch, you both make eye contact with each other and there a thousand words said between that. You get pulled out of your trance by Jeremiah.

“Hey you want some Cereal”

Even though you had the food upstairs you where still really hungry “yeah sure” you told him and he poured you a bowl

“How’s your shoulder” he asked you then immediate regret lined his face as he looked over at your mom.

“What happened to your shoulder” she asked almost annoyed looking at you. You also notice how Conrad sits up a bit to now looking at you again.

“Oh um someone bumped into me is all and I fell on my shoulder, I should be fine” you tell her trying to move it to show her but instead pain lines your face.

“Always something” laurel says looking back at her computer, you just stare at your cereal nor hungry anymore.

A few seconds later and belly walks in with a big bruise on her face from last night. She sits now in between you and your mom and tells Jeremiah.

“Hit me” while placing her hand on the table

“Coming right up” he tells her smiling super big

I really got to ask him about this you think to yourself something has to be going on. Your thought is half cut off by your mom.

“Omg belly what happened to your face” she asks belly concern dripping her voice completely opposite of how it was when she asked you why you were hurt.

“I got bumped into” you tells her mom looking at Conrad

“You look fine to me” Conrad mumbles

Your mom’s face still laced with concerned doesn’t ask any more questions. Susannah comes almost running into the room looking at both you and belly.

“Girls…. I have a question” you tells you and belly “I signed both of you up to do the deb ball this year!” She is almost jumping up and down.

You and belly both just sit there for a moment thinking. I mean it give me something to do this year plus my friends are doing it, you know what screw it”

“You I’ll do it why not” you tell her. Everyone stops what there doing and looks at you.

“Yeah I’ll do it to” belly says looking at you with a smile. At this point everyone’s jaws are on the floor.

“You mean those two things are going to be in a ball” Steven says looking at as

“Ofc they are Steven” Susannah tells him “they are both beautiful young ladies” she looks at both of you her smile so big.

“This sounds… expensive” your mom says

“Don’t worry about that laurel” Susannah tells her. At this point nothing is going to stop her from us being a deb. “We have to go shopping” she tells me and belly “and ofc the boys will be taking the both of you” she adds

I look at Conrad waiting for a response but Jeremiah answers first “ummm yeah no I don’t do that” he says “sorry belly”

Conrad looks at you and says “idk y/n I already did it last year” then goes back to his phone

No one says anything as I sit there pale faced almost embarrassed at Conrad’s words but if I’m being honest I’m not surprised. Belly brakes the silence by saying “wow guys you don’t need to fight over me. But don’t worry I will be finding my own date”

“Ok so lady’s go get ready and we are going shopping!!” She almost screams.

You and belly look at each other in knowing that this is not going to be that fun. Don’t get me wrong you and belly love shopping just not with the moms they get to… into it.

Jeremiah shouts before him and Steven leave “we got to go time to go make some moneyyy” he says dabing Steven up.

I forgot he was working this summer you think as a small but of sadness creeps its way up. You and belly move to the table to finish eating your food. As you stand to move you have both your water and cereal to carry and as you go to grab your water with your bad arm and pain shots up your arm and you wince in pain.

“Are you ok” susannah comes up to you worried. Well at least someone cares you think.

“I’m fine had a small fall” you tell her not wanting to worry her.

In all honesty you should probably get it checked out but you don’t want to worry anyone or make a bigger deal then it is especially after how your mom reacted. You both sit there finishing your breakfast but you leave for your room when you see belly eyeing Conrad swimming in the pool. Could she make it more obvious? You where literally sitting right Next to her and she is staring at YOUR boyfriend omg idk if I’m going to make it through this afternoon.

You thrown on a tank top and I pair of jean shorts and sit to do your makeup. You decided to go for a softer look today sense you where going out with your mom. As you’re getting ready you hear a knock at the door.

“Come in” you say thinking it’s belly or Susannah but slowly realize it’s not when you hear Conrad behind you.

“Hey” he says stepping into your room and closing the door to come sit on your bed.

“Hi”

“I thought we should talk” he tells you picking up a stuff animal on the bed.

You turn around to face him “yeah probably. Umm thanks for the breakfast this morning”

“Ofc, you seemed like you had a rough night” he said looking at your shoulder which has a judge bruise on it now

“I’m fine , don’t worry it will heal” at least you hoped it would without having to ask your mom to go to the doctor.

“Look about yesterday” he says pausing “ I really didn’t mean to hurt you I just didn’t know how to tell you”

“I understand what ever going okay is hard for you but I need you to talk to me, you quitting football is huge. I don’t know why you don’t trust me” you almost whisper the last part.

“I do trust” he says hastily “I just didn’t want to disappoint you I have a lot with school going on right now”

“What’s actually going on” you ask Conrad

“It’s just school I promise” he says but not able to look you in the eye

“Why can’t you just tell me the truth” you almost yell standing up from your vanity.

He runs a hand through his already messy hair “I’m not I swear”

“And for some reason I don’t believe you” you almost laugh after saying that “and everything with belly what the hell is that”

“Nothing is going on between me and belly” he says almost defensively

“We both know she likes you” you tell him “I don’t understand why you can’t except that and do something about it” your almost yelling now “ do you understand how hard it is for me to watch my sister look at you like that how she almost flirts with you, you do absolutely nothing about it to”

“I promise you I don’t like her like that I only like you, and idk how to tell her I don’t want to hurt her feelings” he tells you

“What about me though” tears start to swell but you won’t get in front of him. You won’t show how much this affects you. “What about hurting me”

“I don’t want to hurt either of you” he runs a hand through his hand again and is squeezing your stuff animal so tight.

“Like you didnt want to hurt me when you told me in front of everyone you wouldn’t take me to the ball” you are definitely screaming now but you don’t care.

“I don’t want to do it ok I already did it and it want for me why can’t you understand that” he says yelling now to.

“Why can’t you do it for me” you sigh looking away to compose yourself. “I feel like you only care about yourself, I don’t remember the last time you just called me to talk to me or was the one who wanted to set something up. I understand your going through something right now but you won’t even tell me so I can be there for you”

“Nothings going on why can’t you just except that” he yells now standing up.

You turn back around to face him “because I know you’re lying to me!!! You have never acted this way about school or have held stuff from me”

“I don’t have to tell you everything fucking thing about my life” he walks closer to you

“I don’t need you to tell me everything I need you to tell me the important things” you say frustrated that he doesn’t understand.

“I’m trying ok y/n I’m really trying” he tells you reaching for your hand

You pull your hand away “Obviously not enough” the tears that have built up finally fall. “You don’t have to even think or worry about taking me to a deb ball anymore, I can’t do this hiding things and secrets where done get out” you tell him turning around to go to your vanity again

“Y/n don’t do this please” his voice breaks a little

“Please Connie don’t make this any harder get out” you say once more and watch him leave through the mirror. You finally hear the click in the door and let all the tears fall they steam down your checks in waves ruining your makeup you just did but you don’t care. Your heart hurts so much but you knew deep down it was right you guys would have never lasted.

After about 20 mins of sobbing you finally pull your self together enough to fix your makeup and head downstairs to meet with belly and the moms.

You get downstairs and the three of them are already down there but they all must notice your still red eyes or heard the screaming coming from your room.

“Are you ok y/n” belly asks looking at you

“I’m fine me and Conrad broke up” you tell the three of them. I mean they would have to find out eventually but just saying the words made your heart hurt.

You know all of them are staring at you but you wipe the tear that escaped grab your bag with a wince and walk towards the car. “ you guys coming” you ask over your shoulder.

The next few hours go by in a flash. It’s a mix of your mom and Susannah picking out respectable almost work clothes with your mom criticizing how things look on you and praising belly like normal. No one brought up your break up the entire time and went on like nothing happened thank god but you could tell Susannah was worried.

You finally make it to the dress part but after trying on all these clothes your shoulder feels like it’s about to fall off. But this is your favorite part, you’ve always loved dress shopping no matter how much pain you were in.

After what felt like at least an hour of just trying on dresses and keeping a straight face every time you had a pull a dress up over your shoulder but it all was worth it when you and belly stepped out of the dressing room and moved over the the mirror. You let out a small gasp as you looked in the mirror. You had the most gorgeous dress it was off the shoulder and the bottom flowed so nice it was all lace but it wasn’t to puffy , the bodice was made of lace flowers that scattered down to where your feet where. It looked heavenly and you were in love, but when you looked over at belly she didn’t have the same look I mean the dress was beautiful and very big but.. it wasn’t her.

“Y/n don’t you think we should get something that covers your shoulders more. You don’t even bother turning around you just hope your mom will let you get this one.

“Oh don’t worry about it laurel” Susannah says “doesn’t it look like that dress was made for her”

Before anyone else could say anything the store clerk comes up holding a beautifully simple dress “would one of the girls like to try this on” she asks us but it is mostly aimed at the moms. I give a thank you look to Susannah.

As I look over at belly though her eyes lit up when she saw the dress but disappointment replaced it when Susannah said “no I definitely think these are the ones” and the clerk walks off with the dress.

“So girls why don’t you change out of the dresses and me and your mother will go pay” Susannah tells us standing up. Me and belly both give her a nod and walk back into the changing room.

You start to take your dress off but obviously your shoulder has had enough for one day and are you pull it off your shoulder blinding pain hits you and you a small almost whimper comes out.

“Y/n are you ok” belly asks you from the stall next to you.

“Yes” you say trying to make sure your voice isn’t shaky and apparently you do a good job because belly doesn’t say anything else.

You lean up against the wall and sink to the floor the dress now sitting next to you as you hold your shoulder while silent tears fall for what feels like the thousandth time in two days. You tilt your head back against the wall and memories flood back from last night. Jeremiah helping you, the feeling of his hands on your skin, his body behind you supporting, his cologne that the boys always tease him for wearing that smells like the beach wrapped into a sent.

You let out a small laugh. Omg what is wrong with me I sitting here thinking about Jeremiah when I just broke up with Conrad, what the fuck is wrong with me. This summer was supposed to be the best, I was going to see Conrad again, spend time with my best friend Jeremiah, get an amazing tan and avoid my mom. Now I’m sitting in a dressing room thinking about jere crying because I hurt my shoulder last night at a party I didn’t even see Conrad at except for flirting with my sister. This is already a mess instead of the summer I wanted… I needed.

You eventually got up and put your clothes on with a struggle and now you all are home and you’re getting ready for the first I guess you can call it class. You picked out one of your favorite outfits it’s a white sundress that goes down to the floor with blue flowers detailing it cuts off right about your chest and ties.

You’re sitting on your bed ready to leave but decide you should ice your shoulder. There is a knock on your door before you see Susannah walk in and sit next to you on the bed. “Hi sweetie” she says scooting up close to you.

“Hey”

“How are you doing” she asks but I know she means more than my shoulder.

“I’m fine” you tell her and let out a big sigh “I really tried Susannah I really did try and I wanted it to be work and be ok” you look at her

“ ik you did and that’s all you can do” she smoothes a hand down my curled hair

“I wanted to help him so much, but I couldn’t and he wouldn’t let me” the tears start to well up but you refuse to let them fall especially because of him. “He wouldn’t tell me anything and him and belly I… I just i couldn’t anymore”

You lean against her before she says “sometimes the best you can do and most you can help people is letting them go no matter how much it hurts. Not everyone is right for each other even you with Conrad.” now rubbing a comforting hand down my back.

“I know” you let out a long breath “I’m worried about him”

“I am too”

You both sit there in silence and each other company. These are your favorite moments with Susannah the ones were it is just the two of you and you know she is always there for you. you hear belly calling for saying it’s time to go and you give Susannah one last hug.

“Have fun honey” she tells you as you leave the room.

Your mom drives you and laurel the country club where the Deb ball and class are. You sling your over the shoulder bag on your shoulder a wince a little at the action and luckily no one notices. As you are saying by to your mom you hear belly call out to someone.

“Hey jere” belly yells. You look over as your mom drives away and you see Jeremiah Carrying towels with no shirt on and just his bright red lifeguard swim shorts. You can’t help but look him over but stop your self. No you can’t be doing that he is your best friend you tell yourself.

“Omg belly is that you” he says “ I almost didn’t recognize you”

“Ikr me and y/n got all dressed up for this thing” she tells him and he looks over to you. You can’t help but notice something in the way he looked at you and your breath catches but you have to ignore it and you do.

“Well why don’t I walk you guys there” he tells you both

“That would be perfectly” you say and he goes to set the towels down on his golf cart. The entire time he is joking around with belly and you can’t help but laugh at it to but when you make it to the room it all stops because everyone is staring at you. Turns out the two of you are a little late.

“Paige” Jeremiah says taking the hand of who must be in charge of everything.

“Jeremiah, why don’t you have a shirt on” she asks him

Jeremiah completely ignores the questions and tells her “these are the young ladies my mom told you about belly and y/n”

“Well why don’t the both of you head over to your table” she tells us. Me and belly are walking over to are table when I hear Jeremiah Ask “ooo are those the small Brie and prosciutto sandwiches with jam”

“Yes they are but they are for the girls” Paige tells him walking away before you see jere run to grab one. “Jeremiah those are for the girls” she says again but he already stuffed it in his mouth and was out the door. You can’t help but laugh a little at that.

You and belly find your table and you’re so happy to see that Nicole and Shayla are at it. “Omg hi” you say sitting down next to Nicole and belly sits between you and Shayla

“Hi, I’m so happy that you decided to do this you to belly” Nicole says looking over at her “I’ll be your guys big sister” she tells everyone

“Ugg I can’t believe I actually have to do this” Marcia says who is one of the girls at the table

“At least they are letting you bring your girlfriend”Shayla says

“Yeah I only asked that because I thought they would say no” Marcia says and we all laugh a little at that.

“Speaking of dates” Gigi says who has beautiful big brown eyes and blond hair “ belly are you dating Jeremiah”.

Before either me or belly can answer who just shoved a giant piece of cake in her mouth. Nicole says “actually y/n is dating Conrad and belly isn’t dating anyone” she looks at belly and adds “that’s just what y/n told me”.

You choke a little on the water you took a sip of and everyone at the table looks up at you “actually me and Conrad aren’t dating anymore” you tell them picking at the food on your plate.

“Wait really” Shayla says looking at you with concern the say face you have seen on everyone’s face lately.

“Yeah anyway” you say trying to avoid the question “why are you asking Gigi”

“It’s because she has had a crush on him sense he got a six pack” Nicole says laughing and gigis face turns a little pink.

“I kinda like him before that” she says and we all burst out in laughter before we all go quiet when Paige starts talking about the ball.

You pull out your phone bored and start to scroll through it. Nicole nudges your arm and is holding a flask under the table. You smile up at her grabbing it and pouring some of it into my drink before I pass it to belly. She gives me a strange look before she grabs it to and I smile at her losing up. When you look up you spot those little sandwiches that Jeremiah stole and pull up your guys texts.

You: I will bring you some of those sandwich’s so next time you don’t get in trouble lol

Jere: omg thank you I will meet you outside the pool after my sift 🫶

You: I can give them to you at home my mom is giving me a ride back with belly

Jere: I will give you a ride home don’t worry I want my sandwich’s

You: ok fine

For some reason your heart rate picked up at that but you don’t know why and you know it shouldn’t. You can’t have this type of feelings for him ever he is not only your best friend but now your exs brother.

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babybluebex · 2 years

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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐓.𝟑 | 𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐥 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

PART I | PART II

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | PART 3 of 3! when you find out devastating news, you must decide whether you want to stay with emmett or return home. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | emmett laurel (a quiet place pt.ii) x fem!reader 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | pregnancy, brief mention of miscarriage, Angry Evelyn (she’s justified), cuteness with reagan 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | here’s the last part! thank you all so much for reading this series! (also sorry if the formatting is off tumblr is being an ass and not letting me format the way i want) // taglist blog: @cremebruhleewrites

If you could have done everything differently, you would have. Every decision you had made in three months would be completely undone: you wouldn’t have stayed with Emmett under the guise of him making sure that your wound was healed. Even after it had faded into a scar, Emmett wanted to keep you with him and make sure that you were okay, despite your insistence that you were. But you couldn’t help yourself. You had loved Emmett for years, and you finally had him. It was selfish on your part, and a totally mean and unforgivable thing to do to your mother and brothers and sister, but you stayed with Emmett. Looking back, you don’t know how your mother ever forgave you. You’re not sure she ever really did.

Honestly, you had planned on staying with Emmett indefinitely. You’d be by his side, as his wife or plaything or whatever title he felt like giving you; Emmett was partial to lover. He liked having you around too; he had been alone for so long, you figured that he liked having someone else, and he was thankful that that someone else was you. He fucked you almost every night, grunting softly in your ear as he grabbed your thighs and fucked you into the hard table-bed. It was perfect bliss. Until it happened.

You missed your period. The first time it had happened, two years ago, your mother, a smart nurse, told you it was a stress reaction and that you’d likely fade in and out of having periods as the world got better or worse. You had recently gotten your period back during the calm lull between Beau’s death and the night Nicholas was born, and the first missed period didn’t worry you. The second one didn’t worry you. But one is odd, two is a coincidence, and three is a pattern, and you didn’t need a test or anything like that. You knew what it meant.

“Emmett,” you said as he got home. He had gone to town to retrieve some supplies, and he was breathing heavily from his run as he settled himself in his chair by the large concrete column. Typically, whenever he got home, you’d sit on his knee and kiss his face as he regained an even breath from running, but you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not when knowing what you did.

“What’s wrong?” Emmett asked. “You’re not sitting down.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and switched your weight from foot to foot, and you finally said, “I’m pregnant.”

Emmett didn’t seem to process your words for a few seconds. He looked a little dumbfounded, his eyes unmoving, and he finally blinked himself back to life. “How do you know?” he asked. “You late or something?”

“Yes,” you replied quickly, and his face fell. “Jesus, Emmett, if I’m knocked up—”

“Do you wanna keep it?” Emmett asked. He took off his cap and pushed his sweaty hair out of his face, and he scratched at his chin.

You shrugged. “Do you?”

Emmett sighed and thought for a moment, “Well, it ain’t exactly up to me—”

“You’re the father, please, I need input,” you pleaded with him. “If I keep the baby, I wanna go home. Mom will be able to take care of me.”

“If you leave, I’m coming with ya,” Emmett said. “Darlin’, I’ve been alone here for so long. I’ve been alone for so long. I’m not being on my own again, I’m just not.”

“The alternative is facing my mother,” you told him. “Do you think she’s gonna be happy? Do you think she’ll even let you stay?”

“I know she’ll hate me, there’s no changing that,” Emmett said. His eyes were doing that round puppy thing you liked but also hated, because, goddammit, Emmett knew how to tug on your heartstrings. “But at least the baby will have their dad around, ya know?”

“What?” you scoffed. “Because mine isn’t?”

“No,” Emmett said quickly. “Because I wasn’t… I wasn’t there for my boys when they needed me. We had gotten separated, and I thought they were with Lola. I found their bodies… I let them die. If I had stayed with them, if I had just tried harder, my boys would be here. I need to be around for this one because I wasn’t around for my others when it mattered most.”

That softened you. You uncrossed your arms and sat down by his feet, and you laid your forehead on his thigh. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “I guess I can be selfish sometimes, huh?”

Emmett shrugged. “The best of us are,” he said. “I ain’t ready to lose you just yet.”

“You won’t lose me,” you said softly. “I’ll still be right next to you.”

“But your mom won’t let us be how we are now,” Emmett said. “That is, if she even lets me stay.”

The next morning, you and Emmett packed your stuff, two bags apiece of clothes and food and weapons, and you followed Emmett out of the factory. You gestured to him about his shoes, heavy boots that definitely helped combat the cold, but you quietly explained how noisy there were. Emmett tied the laces up and strung the boots along the back of his neck, and he let you step in front. “You know more,” he said, his voice barely permeable except for the soft puffs of air as he spoke. You wanted to joke about how good of a plan was letting the pregnant woman in front, but you kept it to yourself. Emmett didn’t seem like he had fully processed it yet, but you figured it would take some time, all things considered.

The trip home took 3 days. You could still see your father’s fire smoldering, and you figured that your sister had been doing her duty to keep your family alive, and you teared up when you thought of your little sister taking your place. You were sure that your family thought you were dead. It had been three months and, in this world, three days with no sighting meant death. You were nearly overcome with tears when you saw the tall facade of your house, the large grain silo holding the fire at the top, and you chewed your lip when you saw your mother standing at the doorway of the barn. She looked tired, holding a slightly larger Nicholas, and she extended a hand to you. You shucked off your bags and ran to her, embracing her and your brother tightly. Even if you could speak, there was nothing to be said. Not at that exact moment, anyway.

Evelyn put her hand on your cheek and wiped away your tear with her thumb, and she quickly signed Are you hurt?

No, you told her. Not anymore. Emmett helped me.

Your mother’s face turned into one of confusion before she looked past your shoulder and behind you, to Emmett at the top of the path, and she signed Emmett Laurel? How did you find him?

He found me, you said. That first day, I was almost eaten. He saved me, and made sure I was okay before I left.

Evelyn’s tears welled in her eyes, and she nodded and gestured for Emmett to come closer. Evelyn turned and led you and Emmett into the barn, and your heart warmed at the sight of everything. Hardly any time had passed since you were in that barn, but it felt like a lifetime. Once your mother had firmly closed the door to the barn, she pulled Nicholas higher on her hip, and she whispered fiercely. “How did you find her?” she asked Emmett, and your lover blinked a few times.

“I just did,” he replied at a similar volume. “She was in the woods and I was there too, and we just… An alien damn near got her, but I saved her. She’s been with me since.”

Evelyn shook her head. “I just wish you could have told us,” she whispered. “I know why, obviously, but… Reagan lost you and Dad on the same day. She won’t get out of bed.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, and you said, “I’ll go talk to her.”

Your sister was laying in the hayloft, like she typically did when she was trying to sleep during the day, and you carefully crawled up next to her, trying not to scare her or disturb her. Your sister looked so different than she did three weeks ago and, yet, she looked exactly the same. Your heart burned at the thought that you would be looking at your daughter that way one day (yes, you had decided that, inside you, you had Emmett’s only daughter growing), and you smiled. Reagan was an aunt.

You softly touched her shoulder, and your sister roused herself and blinked for a moment before turning fully to look at you, and she gave an audible gasp. Reagan pulled herself up and hugged you tightly around the neck, and she quickly signed, What’re you doing here? I thought you were dead.

I know, you told her. I’m sorry. I got hurt and Emmett helped me.

Emmett? Reagan asked. Henry and Adam’s dad?

Yeah, you signed, and your heart hurt at the memory of Emmett’s children. He found me and helped me. He didn’t want me to leave until I was healed, but I talked him into coming with me. I missed you a lot.

I’m glad you’re back, Reagan told you, and she hugged you tightly again.

You gently touched her cheek and pulled her face to look at you, and you signed, Wanna know a secret? Reagan nodded quickly, excitedly, and you took her hand and pressed it to your lower stomach. You let go of her hand and slowly made the sign for baby, and Reagan’s eyes lit up. She repeated your movements, and you nodded, and she quickly signed, I’ll be an aunt! Is Emmett the dad?

You nodded and, at the same moment, there was a commotion downstairs. You were thankful that your father had to at least halfway soundproof the barn to allow for semi-normal life, but whatever happened was too loud, even for the precautions. You got up and briefly told your sister that there was a noise downstairs, and you scaled back down from the hayloft just in time to see your mother advance on Emmett. “She’s a child, Emmett!” she exclaimed, and you instantly knew that he had told her.

“Listen, Evelyn, I know you won’t believe me, but nothin’ ever happened until she was eighteen,” Emmett began, but your mother cut him off.

“You’re right, I don’t believe you,” she said. “S-So, all those football games you came to, were you just ogling my daughter on the sidelines? All the barbecues and picnics and, Jesus, the baseball games— That day. You took her to the store all alone, what did you do to her?”

“Mom, stop,” you said quickly, stepping between your mother and Emmett. Emmett wasn’t a particularly intimidating person, nor was your mother, but, at that moment, the anger eminiating from Evelyn Abbott was deadly. “Stop! Listen, he’s right, we never did anything until I was eighteen!”

“You’ve known her since she was born!” Evelyn yelled, and you instinctively shushed her. Thankfully, she didn’t react to that, and she continued on. “You fed her, changed her diaper, watched her when Lee and I went away— How long were you waiting on fucking my kid? And, yeah, okay, you waited until she was eighteen, but how long did you wait? Was it even a day?”

“Evelyn, please let me explain myself,” Emmett pleaded. “I know it sounds bad, I know it does. But I didn‘t make the first move. She called me to pick her up from some graduation party because she was drunk, and—”

“Oh, so you waited until she was legal but still fucked her when she was drunk?” Evelyn asked, and even you didn’t have an excuse for that. Yes, that was pretty much exactly what Emmett had done. But she didn’t seem to latch onto Emmett’s words that he didn’t make the first move.

“Mom, please stop,” you whined. “I started it, I came onto him first.”

“And he should have said no,” Evelyn spat.

You couldn’t handle the bickering and the anger, and you took your mother’s hand as sickness prickled at the back of your throat. “Mom,” you said firmly. “I’m pregnant.”

If your mother wasn’t holding Nicholas, she probably would have attacked Emmett. Her face went red and her breathing faltered, and she said, “Pregnant. How do you know?”

“I haven’t had a period in three months,” you explained. “I get sick in the morning, my back and breasts hurt all the time, headaches. I just know, Mom.”

The room was quiet as your mother thought about your words, and she finally sighed. “Emmett?” she said, and Emmett reached forward and took your hand. “I’m not happy about this. About any of this. But, to your credit, you’ve kept her safe. You’ve protected her, as much as fucking her and getting her pregnant is keeping her safe. And she’s here in one piece. And I have to thank you for protecting her.”

Emmett’s clear blue eyes sparkled as he nodded, and he said, “Thank you, Evelyn. That means a lot. I intend to protect her for a long time. And… Her too.” With that, Emmett reached forward and placed his hand on your stomach, and he tugged you close. “Nothing will ever happen to my girls.”

One Year Later

You woke up to your husband singing. Emmett had a beautiful singing voice and, ever since moving to the reclusive island, you had been able to hear it more and more. Thankfully, little Ella liked her dad’s singing as well, apparently more than you, because your small girl was already awake and cooing in her bassinet. Eleanor Lee Laurel was a curious little thing and, when you turned in bed to better see her, you saw her sitting up, lazily chewing on the edge of her blankie.

“Hey, you,” you whispered, standing from bed. Your back popped as you started to walk, and you braced your hand on your swollen belly. Ella was hardly six months old, but Emmett had gotten back to work as soon as he could, and now you were once again pregnant. You didn’t mind it, though; you had always wanted a big family, like the one you grew up in, and you were glad to have as many as Emmett wanted. “Did Daddy wake you up? Where is he, let’s go say good morning.”

The floor was cold under your feet as you journeyed out of the bedroom with little Ella on your hip, and your first instinct to search the kitchen was correct. Your husband stood at the stove, making some breakfast that smelled like eggs, and you groaned. “Ugh, you could’ve told me it was eggs,” you mumbled, and Emmett looked over his shoulder to you. He looked more and more handsome every day you saw him, and he looked absolutely delicious in the sunlight that came through the window: his salt and pepper (mostly more salt now) hair was wet from a shower, the ends curling as it dried, and his beautiful face was shaven clean to show his sharp cheeks. He only wore sweatpants, his firm chest being warmed by the sun, and you went to him and pressed your cheek above his heart.

“Do eggs trigger your mornin’ sickness this time around?” he asked, looping his arms around you and burying a kiss in your messy hair.

“Apparently so,” you told him. “But it’s fine. Someone wanted to say good morning.”

Emmett smiled at Ella and took her from your arms, and he lifted her in the air for a moment and admired her before burying his face in her stomach and kissing her all over. “Good morning, little lamb chop,” he told her, and Ella squealed as her daddy blew a raspberry on her tummy. Watching your husband play with your daughter was enough to bring a tear to your eye, and you sniffled as Emmett hoisted her in the air again. “Are you cryin’?” he asked, and you laughed a little.

“Yes,” you told him. “I just love you so much.”

Emmett came and sandwiched Ella between you two, and he hugged you tightly. “I love you too,” he whispered, kissing your lips gently and then kissing Ella’s downy, fluffy black hair, just like his. “And I love you, and I love you.” His hand gently touched your belly, and he sighed. “I hope it’s another girl.”

“I think it is,” you told him. “What’s her name?”

“Eve,” Emmett answered easily, like he had the answer ready.

“Why Eve?” you asked.

Emmett sighed. “Because Adam… He would be turning seven on Saturday. I think about them a lot.”

You nodded in understanding, and you tilted your husband’s head down so you could kiss his forehead. “They’re thinking about you too,” you told him. “I like Eve. Eve and Ella Laurel; you like E’s, I guess?”

“And your mom’s name is Evelyn,” Emmett chuckled. “It’s the most common letter in the alphabet, huh?”

You giggled, and Ella copied your laughter, making Emmett laugh. You could remember when he never laughed, and you savored the sound every time. “The one I love the most.”

#emmett a quiet place part 2 x reader #emmett aqp x reader #emmett aqp #emmett a quiet place #emmett laurel #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader

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sandwaveswater · 2 years

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𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚠: 𝙰 𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚙 𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎

Synopsis: You return to Cousin’s beach after three years and suddenly everything has changed. Torn between the two brothers, a complicated family and a new job you try to make the best of this summer, hoping that maybe different can be good.

Part 2: Summer days

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: Sorry for the long wait (but don’t fear I will finish this fic) Warnings for swearing and slightly mature content

Embarrassed that you somehow thought that you were going to wake up together you decided to change back into your jeans and get some breakfast. On the way down to the kitchen you saw that Belly was sitting out on the poarch, so you joined her.

“Good morning.”

“Hey.”

Sitting down next to her you saw her crestfallen expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to catch Cam before he went on his boat but I was too late and I’m considering becoming a debutante.”

“That’s a lot. Maybe you can set an alarm a little earlier tomorrow?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

While you waited for her somber expression to pass you couldn't get last night out of your mind. You had slept through the entire night and only woke up this morning. The warmth seemed to warm you still.

“Suzannah gave you an invitation too, you know?”

“Sorry?”

Belly turned to you, “To become a debutante.”

Ah. “I’m not sure, I have a lot to do with my job already this summer, you know?” Not to mention your mother and the fact that it would probably end up being expensive.

“Do you,” she looked to her hands which were fiddling with her bracelets, “Do you think it’s stupid for me to do that? I know that it’s outdated and all that but it also-”

“Seems like fun?” She nodded. “Then do it, don't listen to the others and just have fun. I’m sure you are gonna find some new friends as well.”

Belly smiled gratefully at you and you walked into the kitchen together after.

“Good morning.”

It was only Steven, Laurel and Jeremiah in the kitchen. When you saw the two of them in their work uniform you realised that today was your first day.

Belly had already sat down but you stood in the doorway still. “I forgot about work.”

“Clearly.” Steven said as he gestured to your outfit, still in Jeremiah’s hoodie and a pair of jeans.

Cursing under your breath you excused yourself and everyone said their goodbyes.

“Y/N wait!”, it was Jeremiah.

You turned around.

“I can come pick you up if you want. Then you have time to change if you want,” then he smiled in that mischievous way he always did when he was flirting and added, “not that I mind seeing you in my clothes.”

Not expecting that smile to ever be directed at you were at a loss for words for a second. “That,” you cleared your throat, “That would be great, thanks.”

He laughed at that but you wanted to fluster him too, so you stepped a little closer, your left hand hovering over his upper arm and the other one tucked a curl behind his ear while you said, “Maybe I wanted you to see me like that, in your bed.”

The sound of his spatula hitting the ground made you laugh but his flushed and slightly surprised and hopeful expression made you feel odd.

You waved goodbye and when he picked up his spatula again he waved back as if nothing had happened. He was the same old Jeremiah, undoubtedly used to others flirting with him, but you felt as if your world had been tilted on its axis.

You ran all the way home, showering quickly before putting on your uniform.

Jeremiah: we are hereee

Jeremiah: come outsidee

Jeremiah: oh, my lady, pleaseeee grace us with your presence

After saying goodbye to your family that was still sleeping you slipped out of the house and into the car. When Jeremiah gave you the aux even though you were in the backseat and Steven complained you put on the High School Musical 2 soundtrack, insisting that this fits perfectly.

~*~

You high five Steven when you are finally allowed on a break. Because you are a little early, you decide to scare Jeremiah.

“Yeah, totally, I would love to take you swimming sometime.” Steven threw you an amused look and you smiled back, even though you suddenly felt a lot heavier.

Then Steven grabbed the other boy’s shoulders and you all laughed until Jeremiah fixed Steven with a look and simply states, “Oh, you fucked up.”

“What? How-” he leaned his head down to look at himself, “how could I have already fucked up?”

“It’s the hairnet, I told you,” you added, pretending to be very serious.

Jeremiah’s gaze snapped to you and nodded his head. “Exactly. Nobody is going to want to hook up when they see you in this.”

Both of them argue about their jobs for a second, and you wanted to cut it when-

“Y/N, we need you here for a second.”

“Be right back,” you said to the others and you only got a slightly distracted ‘Bye’ back from both of them as they looked at all the people around the pool.

“Hey, sorry to call you back so soon,” it was David, another boy your age. “I just kinda cut myself on the glass but there are the people at the pool who really want their fifteenth towel of the day but I can’t really carry them right now.”

“Hey, no problem at all, are you okay? I can take care of the towels, just wash out your hand.”

He thanked you and ducked away into the bathroom. Taking two fresh towels from the pile you walked over to the now annoyed couple. Internally scoffing at their tone of language you made your way back to David when you overheard Jeremiah saying “Girls in sundresses are my kryptonite but I would never let one talk me into being an escort.”

The words stuck to you and you decided to wear a dress that evening to the book party.

“Is your hand okay?”, you asked David when he came out from the house they served food in.

“Yes, thank you again,” he looked at you, then somewhere behind you and back to you again. “Can I make it up to you somehow? Like with coffee or tea?”

Did he ask you out? Or were you reading too much into it? “You don't need to, it’s really fine.”

Then he looked at you, this time a lot more confident than before and added, “But I want to, really.”

Definitely asking you out then. For a second Jeremiah and the girl from the pool came to your mind but you squashed that down quickly. “Is that so?”, you asked with a smile.

He blushed a little and you thought that he was kind of cute. “I can give you my number and if you change your mind you don’t have to text me.”

You noted down his number and when you joined the other boys you started drafting your text with a smile on your face.

“Oh, who might you be texting, Y/N?”, Steven asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

Jeremiah came closer to look at your phone and put his arm around your shoulder. His bare skin seemed to burn through your white shirt.

“Who is more interesting than us…” he trailed off as he read the text that you still wanted to meet up and when he wanted to ask you who ‘David’ was he saw you turn your face to your coworker and wink at him.

He felt a little confused, never having considered the fact that you might have been with someone else over these past years, the fact that you might date someone else.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

You on the other hand felt a little excited about it all.

~*~

When Belly texted you that she was going on her date tonight you came over to help her pick an outfit. Suzannah was already there and you knocked on the door, not wanting to scare them.

Belly twirled around, “What do you think?”

“You look amazing!” and she really did. Blue was definitely her colour. At your response she smiled.

Then Laurel came in and you filled her in on the date and she and Suzannah talked a little about their high school before Laurel asked you if you were coming to her party tonight.

“Of course I am. I really want to meet the famous Laurel Park, famous author of ‘Party’s Over’,” you turned to Belly, “do you think i get to shake her hand?”

Laurel chuckled at your comment but said that you could even get a hug if you wanted to.

Then Suzannah cutted in, “Y/N I actually have something for you, do you wanna come downstairs for a second?”

Confused what she meant you agreed and followed her downstairs.

“You know, when we were shopping we really missed you and when Belly saw this and said that you would really like them we got them for you.”

You accepted the two bags she held out for you, a little bewildered. “For me? I’m not sure if I can pay you back right now, but in a month I get my paycheck and then-”

She interrupted you, “Nonsense. While I’m a little sad that you aren't going to be a debutante with Belly I still wanted to get you something.”

You both made your way to the stools and sat. “You are also like a daughter to me and I missed you over these past three years. I just wanted to give you something back for the way you have always treated my sons.”

Suddenly emotional you hugged her. “Thank you. Really. I’m happy to hear that you see me as your daughter.”

The two of you sat there for a while until she cleared her throat. “The red dress is for tonight, so come on and try it on, I’m sure you want to show it to Belly as well.”

With a last look that hopefully conveyed how touched you were at her gesture you changed in Belly’s room. When you walked back into Suzannah’s room to see Belly she was upstairs again, putting on her shoes.

“I knew the dress would look good on you!” Belly said as she walked over to you to get a proper look.

It was a flowy patterned green dress and you really did feel good in it. You smiled at her comment. “But you have to go now, right? Doesn't your movie start soon?”

Both of you made your way downstairs, but you realised that you forgot your phone upstairs when you overheard Jeremiah telling Belly that she looked hot. You really tried to ignore it, he had always been like that and it was true, Belly really did look good, but for some reason you were not so excited to go down after her.

So you did what you do best and avoid it and you chatted with the mom’s about their first dates until it was time to leave.

“It’s time to go, everyone! Conrad can you take Y/N and pick up the last order of the flowers? I already told Jeremiah to get the posters with Steven and I want to drive Laurel there as soon as possible.”

“Sure mom, whatever you need.”

Conrad came over while the other two still finished their round. “The dress really suits you,” he said when the Moms were out of ear range.

You looked at him in surprise, “Conrad Fisher, was that a compliment? Pigs might fly today at this rate.”

He fondly rolled his eyes but the other boy’s overheard the two of you. “He is right tho, she looks good, right?”, Steven asked, directing the question at Jeremiah.

The other boy paused for a second and you tried not to feel hurt at that. You knew you looked nice, he didn’t have to affirm it.

But then he looked directly at your eyes, “She definitely does.” Conrad nudged you and you followed him to the entryway until a hand on your arm stopped you. “Are you sure you aren’t going to be cold?”

It had been warm throughout the entire day but that comment made you pause. YOu had always run a little cold, but then an idea formed in your head and you leaned close to his ear, making sure that Steven would not see you, “Maybe I’m hoping for someone to keep me warm tonight,” then you leaned back, “with their jacket of course.” and disappeared through the door.

~*~

Driving with Conrad was surprisingly nice. At first he seemed a little unsure what to say and mad at something that had nothing to do with you but you told him a few stories of the years he missed and he filled you in on his life as well.

Even if you had been closer to Jeremiah than Conrad before you and him were a lot more similar. More quiet and reserved but it had always been a nice friendship. You noticed that there was something actually bothering him but you knew that if he wanted to he will talk to you, so you gave him his space.

“Jere told me that you are going out with your coworker now.”

Were you? “I’m honestly not sure? We have a vague date planned but I don’t think I actually like him.”

“Really? He made it seem as if you guys were already halfway to your honeymoon.”

You chuckled fondly, “You know how he can be, really perceptive but dumb at the same time.”

Conrad finished parking and repeated the words “Really perceptive but dumb,” back to you. the eye contact made you feel a little weak. Had he always looked at you like that?

“We should really get those flowers. I don't want to be late,” you blurted when you noticed that both of you were moving closer. For a split second he was surprised at your change of subject but agreed and both of you got out of the car.

You closed the car door and took a deep breath. What was that?

Nonetheless both of you arrived on time and nothing else happened on the way there.

~*~

At the party you made sure to get your own signed copy by Laurel before joining the others in the corner. Conrad pouring himself yet another glass made you stop in your way to Steven and Jeremiah and you turned to him instead.

“Pouring one for me too?” you asked while taking his new drink out of his hand. You had to stop him from drinking before he did something stupid.

He tried to stop you from drinking it all at once, his hand on your arm but you downed the glass anyway.

“Fuck, that is actually kind of strong. How much of this have you had?”

“Two glasses.”

“That means that we are going to stay here for at least another hour before you drive us home.”

“What? No, it’s boring and Laurel said that we could go whenever.”

“I’m not risking my life because you try to drink too much because of whatever is eating you away. If you don’t stay voluntarily I’ll just hold you here.”

He raised his eyebrow at that, “Now that’s something I would like to see.”

“I can have Jeremiah and Steven help me. You are going to eat some of the cookies and drink a lot of water.”

“What will you do if I drink this instead?”, he asks, with a crooked smile on his face and the bottle still in his other hand.

“I’m going to match you sip for sip, but my tolerance is probably lower than yours, so you will have to deal with the fallout.”

“Fine.”

“Good.” You made your way to the other boys and Conrad’s hand wandered down to your wrist instead and he followed you there.

“Can you two watch him while I go look for some water and food?”

“I’m not your child,” Conrad looked at you as if you had lost your mind.

You just rolled your eyes and pushed him down next to Steven who immediately started talking to him about this new board he has been eyeing and when you made your way to the buffet.

A light hand on your lower hand scared you but when you turned around it was only Jeremiah who had tagged along.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Getting water? So that Conrad can sober up.”

His hand was now fully touching your back and you swore you could feel the warmth in the tips of your fingers. “No, I mean hanging out with him like that.”

You turned to him, confused. “Because I want him to get us home safely? Because he is my friend?”

“So you don’t like him?”

“What?” but suddenly your mind was filled with wavy hair, dark blue eyes, a hesitant smile and a quiet companion. Did you like him? You wanted to deny it immediately but the words didn’t come out of your throat. Your wrist and upper arm where he touched you seemed to burn now. “Why is that any of your business?”

Jeremiah seemed to look for something in your eyes but didn’t seem to find it. “It was just a question.”

Still confused by the entire situation and your own feelings you picked up two cups of water and pushed a plate of cookies in his hand before rushing over.

The others noticed the obvious tension between you and Jeremiah but no one commented on it.

When more than an hour and half passed you finally gave in and you and Conrad excused yourself from the party.

Jeremiah’s gaze followed you all the way to the door.

~*~

When you were almost at your house he asked you the question you hoped he wouldn’t ask you. “Why are you and Jere fighting?”

His words seemed to run on a loop in your head. “He just said something really dumb but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I just, I don't know, I’m not sure what I’m feeling anymore, you know?”

His fingers drummed on the steering wheel. With your hand out the window, looking at the dark ocean you decided to fuck it. “He asked me if I liked you. As more than a friend.”

You knew that he was looking at you and you decided to meet his gaze head on. If this was going to break your friendship you wanted to shatter it into pieces.

“And do you?”, his eyes were so dark, the light of the stoplight just barely illuminating his face, his expression unreadable.

Ever since you had come back to these familiar streets you tried to ignore everything that had changed but this time you could no longer run from it. Conrad was sitting right next to you and yet he still felt out of reach. You wanted him closer.

The truth forced itself out of you, “I’m not sure.”

He didn’t give you a response, just looked at you until the light turned green. With his eyes on the road he asked, “Do you want to figure it out?”

Your mind kept replaying these past few days over a loop. Jeremiah’s bed, Conrad’s words, Jeremiah’s flirting, Conrad’s hands but you were just so confused. How could they be so similar and so different, so grown up and still the same boy you've always known.

“I do.” your voice didn’t shake but it was quieter than before.

When you looked back at him he seemed to consider your words. “Do you?”, you asked him.

“Ever since I saw you on that beach I’ve been asking myself the same question. Are we really just friends?”

You had nothing to say. The silence weighed on you until he pulled over a corner in front of your apartment.

Out of the now closed window you weren’t really able to see anything else, everything was dark. From the radio your music was still playing. Then he unbuckled his seatbelt and you mirrored his action.

“Are you sure about this?” and you only nodded.

He came closer and you reached out to touch his cheekbone. “I want verbal confirmation.”

“Kiss me, Conrad Fisher.”

That made him smirk and you really wanted to kiss that off his face. “I’ve been wanting to do that ever since you came back.” and he did.

Not really having much experience, you followed his lead. HIs lips were a little chapped but you didn’t really mind because it was Conrad. You were in his car, his admittedly very cold hands on your hip and on your jaw, your mind short cutting. The only thing you were certain of was that you wanted him closer still.

Parting for air you looked in his eyes, wanting to see if he had an answer to your original question but you felt as if you were being swallowed up by his widening pupil. When you both went in for another kiss and another one you bumped into the stick and you started laughing.

At first he chuckled with you but then he started nibbling on your lower lip, clearly wanting to go back to making out, but you said, “Stop,” and he immediately did.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just give me a second,” you looked down, a little embarrassed when you asked, “can I come over to you?”

When relief washed over his face he smiled that one crooked smile you really, really wanted to kiss off his face. “You want to climb in my lap?”

Deciding that you were not going to be embarrassed for asking you said, “Yes, or do you not want me to?”

Leaning closer to your ear he whispered, “All you had to do was ask.”

A shiver went down your spine. You were so in over your head.

He put his seat back a little more and helped you climb over inelegantly. You leaned your head on his shoulder and laughed again and this time he joined you. All of this was so ridiculous but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it.

After collecting yourself you kissed his neck and you felt him sigh and when you scraped your teeth along the skin, not hard enough to leave any marks he sighed your name. Then he pulled your head away softly by your hair and kissed you again, this time more urgent than before.

You wound your hands in his hair, noting that it was not as soft as Jeremiah’s, but still pleasant to the touch. One of his hands wandered down from your waist to the edge of your dress where it had ridden up halfway on your thigh. That made you freeze for a second and he noticed it immediately.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No, it’s just that I’ve never gone further than this, and I don’t want to do anything more today” you admitted, a little ashamed because you had heard of his reputation.

He stroked your cheek just below your eye with his hand. “And we don’t have to. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

And you didn’t. You kissed for a while longer until you both grew tired and he drove you back to your apartment.

When you closed your bedroom door quietly behind you, you threw yourself on your bed, more confused than before.

Did you or did you not have feelings for Conrad?

~*~

But your dreams were filled with soft hair, freckled skin and familiar laughter beneath your hands, not dark eyes, cold hands and crooked smiles.

When you woke up the next day the reality of what had happened sunk in and you realised that you kissed the wrong brother.

You were so fucked.

----

That’s it for the new chapter!! Please let me know what you think because comments are always really motivating :)

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