#somethin* I really want to see!

[nocreativityfornames]

Tell me why I only just now saw the hour on this

Does this mean that days in the Devildom last 66 fucking hours?!?!

#and the added 6 minutes😭 #hell nah #that's almost 3 WHOLE DAYS for us ARE YOU KIDDING #and how much of that time do we have to spend at RAD?? #oh this REALLY is hell #-> my clueless ass seeing posts about the days in the devildom lasting longer and imagining 35-40 hours at best #66?????? #mc would be sleeping SO MUCH throughout the day #imagining the brothers wanting to hang out with them and it's just: “oh they're asleep again🧍‍♂️” #“you sure this human isn't the real Avatar of Sloth or somethin'?” #“this is normal for humans Mammon 😒" #I'm thinking that after 66:66 the day gotta restart I mean THERE'S NO WAY there are more hours than this #rethinking my stance on the devildom being better than the human world rn #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #omswd #omnb #☙ no creativity for names ✾

[chlorenw]

I'm not much of talkative and rarely typing words but I really really appreciate the compliments you guys give me every time 🌹

#often wonder about my own drawings and think I'm not doing enough #but every time see the tags or comments give me a lot supports!! #argharaarggggr want to type somethin more but my vocab and grammmar too bad I cant kjsajkdasdkj #all i want to say is #thank you so much for liking my arts! #really!

[dummerjan]

i just came across ai covers on youtube and people are requesting songs in the comments instead of getting enraged and i am further losing hope in humanity and turning to misanthropy

#meins #for a minute i got really excited about henning may singing take me to church :( #i hate people #have you no appreciation for or understanding of art? clearly not. #why would you want to listen to an ai generated song? even if it sounds like your favourite singer it's not them #it has no feelings to meaning to intention. it is empty and soulless #reading the booklet for sinéad o'connor's album of traditional irish and folk songs gave me so much appreciation for her #she wrote a little bit about each song. why she chose it or what it means to her. #it has added so much to my enjoyment of those songs and i think of it whenver i listen to it #they were chosen with intention with love with a deep appreciation for the music and lyrics and there is a story behind it all #it is art and love and human #i see aboslutely no appeal in ai generated 'music' or 'art' #and i hate that i fell for it for a minute #i was sceptical because i had never heard of henning may covering hozier and since it wasn't just 20-60 sec i am certain #i would have heard about it by now #and something was just a little bit... unsatisfying? something was missing which does apply to a lot of cover songs #(i could go on hour long rants about why people fuck up danny boy (and sinéad o'connor does it best (because she actually takes her time) #or trash madonna's version of don't cry for me argentina (again a song ruined for by everybody else but sinéad - once she has sung somethin #i have a hard time enjoying it by anybody else. the parting glass is an exception. hozier's version is phenomenal)) #but! henning may not giving it his all for a cover? unlikely. very unlikely. #anyway this concludes my tuesday night rant. rather here in the tags than some poor person's inbox. #or i would have kept fuming by myself for another hour or two

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️ #personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

i keep thinking about this scene and sydney talking about how all she wants is to cook for people and make them happy and season 2 when sydney says she wants a michelin star and carmy goes ??

like is it 1) her actual dream to have a star and she just kind of didn't think it was possible bc she was consumed with her catering failure and working with carmy made her think it could actually happen

or is it 2) the highest level of success in the food industry but not acTUally what she wants (and what she wants is actually much more in the vein of michael jordan's steakhouse which is not a michelin star place) ??

#i guess season 3 will reveal which one is the case #cause ngl i was disappointed with the food aspect bc it felt like such a different vibe than the cola braised rib thing #up until she made that omelette for nat and put chips on it #that's when i was like !!!!!!!! #cooking for people to make them happy isn't the same as cooking to try and get a michelin star........ you know?? #the bear #i think they can have really good food without the pressure that makes syd throw up out of anxiety #you know? and i want that for them #added thoughts: jaw saying he provides sydney with inspiration #maybe..................... she needed the inspiration to get past her feelings of imposter syndrome and feel like she's capable of more tha #just the steakhouse type food.............. you know? not that there's anything wrong with more rustic or chill restaurants #but. i can see young syd be naive and hopeful and then get knocked down by gross old men and kind of resign herself to catering or somethin #else less high pressure and with less prestige...... but carmy's like 'sure yeah you can do that. let's do it' bc he believes in her #and sees her skill.................... anyways

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[todayisafridaynight]

oh girls dont look im rambling in here

#spoilers #?? ig?? potential y8 spoilers??????? #snap chats #anyway its been recently revealed by hidenari ugaki that he hasn't heard word about reprising his role as majima yet #and like. part of me doesn't mind the possibility of majima not coming back to LaD8 but: #1.) ugaki sounded upset bout the fact he didnt hear back yet :( if it means he isn't worried anymore then please bring maji back #2.) if majima isn't in the game then im just curious as to what the fuck kiryu's purpose is going to be then #maybe he just hasnt gotten word yet so i dont wanna say its official hes not coming back #but LaD8's set to release two years from now- not even maybe a year and then some #so if he hasnt gotten word yet it is lookin a bit uhhh whats the word/phrase. idk Down To The Wire thats it I Think #im not saying majima and kiryu are stapled at the hip and if one of them is there the other one has to be #it's just... it's just so baffling having kiryu come back as a protagonist #this is less of a ramble about majima's potential return to the franchise and more about kiryu's return haha baited yall sorry #him coming back in LaD7 was already a bit of a stretch but i get it- i cant say im totally mad about it #if that would really be the last time we saw him then i wouldve been happy #but yeah im just.. really anticipating LaD8 now like whats he going to do in it if none of the past players are coming back #cause LBR if not even majima is making it when he's been beyond established as a fan favorite then there ain't hope for anyone else #ugh 2024 get here sooner please i just want to know what's going to happen #i also wanna see my boy ichi again. my sunshine my fellow my guy my pal my-- #ok thats all from me for tonight feel free to send me your opinions or somethin idk

[keeps-ache]

everyday there's somethin goin on. like the day. or somethin like that

#just me hi #[squinting] there's always something going on #but also ?? what's been happening lol ?? i am only like 34% sure things happened recently #not like i forgot things (i did but-) it feels like nothin is happening. but also there's always Something hbsh #//anyway. my software is being funky again lol :) #kind of wanna do stuff but blaaahahahah #blaaaaaaaah #no motivation really. so sads #GASP but wait i wanted to work on Hid's natural form cuz i want it to be a lil less human-looking #trying to figure how i'll do that though. hmm :^ #cuz see he may have wings but he didn't originally. this is due to Fate stuff but that means he won't have bird legs or summin lol #/MAN and i should digitize Fate asap when my puter gets back lol #i think i've mentioned her like twice but Ough. i gotta draw her ehehegh :33 #/but yea i dunno what angle i wanna try for hid lol !! #something........ sooooomething....... #/cannot WAIT til i've finished the little world stuff i was writing !! boop has all my files tho so until then... #condensing information is my passion hdvhs #//speaking of i gotta make new refs for everyone HH #i just made those new ones last year i think and i Do still like them but aoh. they're inaccurate now hfvsh #like oath's hair changed as did kira's and also i'm redesigning hid So :^ :>> #//man. anywhoogh #i'm gonna skedaddle rn n see if i can get somethin done lol :3 #toodles man !! [skitters away]

[trannypresident]

sorry for the lack of original braincontent later ive been in the sinus mines. so sad. cannot wait to be freed from sickness and responsibility so i can like. i don't know. fuck a computer. i guess.

#✎🐂 #recently been thinking about taking reqs for obj content just because of the sheer amt of nuggets i have. but #also i have really peculiar and specific tech. like enough that a list is identifiable probably #which i do not know if i want to commit to. yk. also unsure. which i am okay or not okay with being weird with #so thats up in the air. i don't know if anyone is DYING for info / has somethin in mind u can dm me <3 we can talksies and stuff #bc i could see it being funny and strange. and thats what im all about #ivy DONT look this is crazy

[gobstoppr]

ive gotta bunch of oc shit in the oven rn . get hyped chat

#art #oc #i may be considering . naming the series . scalloped potatoes #because funny guy is named scallop . and its silly #anyways everyone who i’ve shown jorts to have loved him #immediate fan favorite #he is a lil theif #this project has been a rollercoaster but now ive. got more clarity with what i want it to be #basically i realized that im allowed to write it to be an 11min silly cartoon .and that doesnt make the work any less valuable #for the longest time ive had it in my mind that to make something big . make somethin people care about . theres got to be some depth #to like the story and emotional stakes n shit #i’ve grown up seeing cartoons like steven universe n owl house n how these are THE shows #this much needed push in the art form away from solely episodic . that shows can be more ykno #but like . after spending the past 7 months watching stupid episodic cartoon silly bullshit . #its finally really clicked that THIS is the shit i really love . love to watch . love to make #ofc i love cartoons going for these deeper stories. the newest owl house broke me #but like . ive realized i can still care immensely about chars even in these silly shows . #anyways . #scalloped potatoes

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

skrael bbyface for the soul

#i've been.... not artblocked but uninspired lately but i wanted to do somethin' #i drew this while my family watched the gbbs special so i didn't have to see the fucking monstrosities they were making #i made better swiss rolls at TEN #anyways. #kiwifae draws #skrael of the north wind #skrael #tales of arcadia #wizards toa #my hand looks really old in this photo for some reason

[smitherscreens]

how does christmas saves the year manage to be so incredibly sad

#maybe i am just projecting but it sounds like someone desperately trying to convince themselves that christmas and the good memories #that come with it will fix them #like obviously it was released in 2020 so the whole point is like. we're isolated and we cant see our families like we normally would #but to me it also reads as like . we're getting older and it's not the same #“cheap decor and flavored cheer”/“years past seemed so much grander” and all #you want the holidays to feel as special as they did when you were a kid but they dont. you just want to feel happier or better or Somethin #again. hardcore projecting #yes i am listening to csty in january and crying really hard about it leave me alone #s talks #vent #?

[toomuchdickfort]

I love making new dark urge playthroughs and thinking of so much story for who the guardian appears as and this whole life they’ll not remember and-

#delver had a HUSBAND #IM JUST STARTING ON SOLITUDE BUT THEY GOT THEIR BESTIE A LIL KILLED OOPSIES #NOCTIS’S GUARDIAN WAS A CLASSMATE. A HOMOEROTIC WIZARD RIVAL #DELVER HAD A HUSBAND!!! THEY GOT TATTOOS AND SCARS TOGETHER!!!! BOTH THEIR HAIR IS STAINED AT THE ENDS WITH THE SAME RED!!! HE DOESNT EVEN A #LITTLE BIT REMEMBER WHY THE RITUAL OF IT IS SO IMPORTANT BUT HE HOLDS TO IT NONETHELESS!!!! #bg3 posting #ANYMEOW somethin somethin solitude and solace both aimin 2 be clerics. and then oopsies :P durge stuffs. and ummmm. they never quite got #over the lonely feeling. I love giving my dark urges names that they choose as soon as they hop out of the pod. #damsel picked hers a ways later tho. she thought it was funny. in my heart gortash thinks it’s MUCH LESS funny. sometimes what used to be an #act is what carries through you in spite of everything. and the people you knew wonder how much of an act it really was. and neither of you #will ever have the answer. #pointy tho. that was always his name. he WAS big scary evil. but um. now big softy <3 something something claws grown and refined for #ripping flesh and tendons turning solely to use in making little oragami stars. do u see it. he’s so sillies to me and I love him. he #absolutey woke everyone up SOBBING after ****** by the way. that guy WAS built for this shit but he soooo doesn’t wanna be. he wants to go #home (please do not send him home he’d get eaten alive now just hold him soso soft)

[permanentreverie]

just a quick lil rant before i head to bed

#somethin that’s really bothered me these last few days #i have one irl person that i consider my friend and i hang out with her. but if i wasn’t the one suggesting we go out and do stuff #i don’t think she’d bother with me at all #which. we have fun together. at least i do. #but thinking about this whole year. everything we’ve done has been my suggestion #and it’s not like we’ve hung out every single weekend. she’s had plenty of opportunities to invite me to stuff #but she will blatantly do stuff with her other group of friends then tell me about it #like she mentioned she went and saw the eras movie and was excitedly telling me all about it. #and damn. that’s an experience i would have loved to have. #and she KNOWS i love taylor it’s not like she thought i wouldn’t like going. #she also has openly discussed with her other friend (who is a swiftie) about getting tickets for taylor. right in front of me. ngl it just!? #hurt not to be included i guess!? i mean this isn’t the first time i’ve had a friend openly go to an artist i love with someone who’s not me #idk am i just being stupid and selfish!? #but like. during the summer (a month i was really struggling) i kept on seeing if we could meet up and talk and catch up #before this get together at the end of the month with a few people. and that never turned out she kept on saying she was busy #understandable. but the day of the get together i was chatting with her friend and she mentioned how she and her had hung out like 30 times #that month. #and like i went bowling with said friend last week (it was my suggestion) and we were hanging out and i mentioned how now that our schedules #have opened up id love to get together more - even if she was getting groceries and wanted someone to come along. and she said that yeah #that this week would be good to hang out. and i told her to just contact me. but i highly highly doubt she will text me. #so should i just take the hint and drop her!? #and i live a little farther away but i’m always the one driving to her. idk if that makes a difference but like #idk it’s just the feeling of being expendable and someone’s second choice and never their first #which is a feeling i’ve grown up with so i’m not a stranger to it #but i’ve actually lost sleep over it this last little bit wondering like what it is about me that repels people that makes them not care #like i’ve had girls i’ve loved with my whole fucking heart and would lay down my life for them and i didn’t even make their top 5. #so let’s just say this is an issue that has been hurting me for a while #idk like i’m not trying to sound emo but this kind of hurt and loneliness is just something i have to resign myself to #and face the reality that i’m not as important to people as they are to me sometimes.

[solarcanis]

i know it's 2023 and making "anti" posts is not the vibe but i truly do not care for gansey and ronan as a romantic ship. they have always had a brotherly bond to me ESPECIALLY when ronan and declan were on the outs gansey was always there for ronan to lean on in that way. also idk gansey's care towards ronan always struck me as more uhhh patronizing ( not in negative way although sometimes DEFINITELY in a negative way lol ) so it has always felt weird to me seeing them as anything other than friends and chosen brothers EDIT: and ONE more thing i think the main reason i don't jive with this ship is because gansey deserves to not have to be the caretaker in his relationship and ronan deserves to feel like he is competent and mature enough as he is in his and i don't think either of them can give each other this. which means it ultimately would never be a romantic dynamic between equals.

#gans/ey quite literally babysits ronan for the majority of t/rc and even some of c.dth #not that he has to that is just teen mom gan.sey doing his thing but yeah #i want to be clear if you like this ship i ain't hating on you it's just not for me personally #so you won't really be seeing that on my blog! #⚠ about #anyway i will be around to reblog a meme or somethin' later maybe a plotter call too

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

got really svicidal for a bit there oops

#doll #it's better now n i'm sedated it's fine #just got triggered pretty bad when i was already at a volatile place #idk why but i keep comin back to the thoughts of what if...mr. v still actually wants the kinda stuff he says he doesn't anymore? #n he's just sayin that to make me feel better or maybe he'll change his mind #or even if he doesn't i still feel like a lot of other people want to make me what i used to be #just a plaything without any wants or thoughts or boundaries of my own #it's no one specific but just these. people i feel are out there. #plus it's hard for me to understand why he loves me #the only lovable things about me i can think of are the old functions he doesn't want used anymore #servitude. fantasy fulfillment. or just a body to use however he pleases #n i'm scared he's gonna want me to do the stuff that makes me feel terrible. how's he suddenly not into that anymore?? #or then he wants it but doesn't bring it up cause he doesn't wanna pressure me but i hate that too i wanna please him i wanna make him happy #he says he can't blame me for havin a hard time trustin he won't change his mind again but idk #n he loves me so i guess there's gotta be somethin in me i can't see. can't pretend i know better than him #i'm really happy w/ him but sumtimes i see stuff that reminds me of how things used to be n it's hard to shake off #spdrvent