#something something cycles of abuse idk

[eznii]

something something white sheep luo binghe

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scumbag villain #luo binghe #or uhhh ig #luo bingge #scum villain #mxtx #fanart #digital art #my art #svsss fanart #chirin no suzu #ringing bell #this has prolly been done before but look at him...chirin lookin ass #something something cycles of abuse idk #anyway svsss enjoyers do not follow me cause i literally never talk/draw about it lol

[mortysmith]

try not to think too hard about the fact that your grandpa (the worst person you know) was literally exactly like you when he was 14 (pr/ship dni)

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #im imagining a scenario in which morty meets young rick and hes like Ohhhhh i get it so its all over. #like idk. he already probably has some complex over not ending up like rick #but then seeing how similar they used to be hed probably start feeling like its inevitable #like obviously it isnt. but idk. could fuel some interesting character drama guys im just spitballin here!!!! #something about the cycle of abuse and seeing yourself in your abuser

[magniloquent-raven]

yall wanna be sad about billy with me? come be sad about billy with me

currently thinkin about how similar billy and max can be sometimes. their anger. their tendency to push people away when shit gets hard. after billy's mom left he retreated into himself, into his pain, turned it into anger so he could wield it like a weapon. after billy died, after he left max, she retreated into her guilt. they both decided being alone with their grief was better than letting people in and risking feeling that pain again.

and what gets me...is the parallel between billy breaking free of the mind flayer because el reached out to him, and max getting free of vecna because of her connection with her friends.

like they both have such high emotional walls, but they both care so deeply, and thinking about billy's choice to die for that little bit of emotional connection vs max choosing to live because of it is. hurting me.

#billy hargrove #max mayfield #stranger things #idk there's also something to be said about billy never really getting free of the cycle of abuse he was stuck in #and so he saw violence and sacrifice as his only option because that's just. what he knows #whereas max has explicitly acknowledged that she doesnt want to be like her brother & step dad #and she's been given the space and time to form these friendships outside of her shitty home life #so for her there's just. more to fight for. #am i making any sense? who knows. i was cryin over running up that hill earlier and then this just kinda happened to my brain

[thermodynamic-comedian]

hey guys remember when in the literal first episode of asoue, olaf says something like

"you may think i'm an evil person, but let me tell you something.....you haven't got the faintest clue."

he was not exaggerating

#anyways do you guys think the reason the first thing olaf did to the baudelaires was give them a big list of elaborate tasks to do #was not just because he wanted them to suffer but also because he went through the exact same thing as them #(becoming an orphan after growing up in a place of privilage) #and he was forced to take care of all of those things himself and was very obviously not prepared for it and failed in life #because of that #so his fucked up mind just immediately went ''oh ok this is just something all orphans have to go through'' #oh my god. adding onto that #he also had not one but two terrible mentors that enforced the negative parts of his personality #and he clearly wasn't like the baudelaires. he was angry and emotional and not the kind of person to know when he's being abused #exactly the kind of person to actively seek out the validation and affection of his abusers. and continue that cycle of abuse on #because ''that's what happened to me. no one cared for me. the adults in my life actively made my life worse #so that's exactly what's going to happen to you. i'll make sure of it.'' #idk man at this point im just talking. throwing my brainrot into the washing machine of asoue fan content. #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #snicketverse #lemony snicket #asoue netflix #count olaf #the baudelaire orphans

[yuridovewing]

“Ough Cinders wasnt a good person… she didnt want kids.” Okay so I’m already Team Cinders purely from a technical standpoint

#not saying people who dont want kids who are pressured into having them are incapable of being bad parents ofc #‘’shouldnt have been a parent but had kids anyways’’ is something you hear about shitty parents for a good reason #but given lizardstripes situation its pretty clear that ‘’didnt want kids’’ is code for ‘’disgusting woman’’ to the writers #also where im at they blame sols dad not being around on cinders cause ‘’she complains a lot’’ #(bc he doesnt feed their kids and fucks off for months at a time but thats her fault cause shes a whiny bitch’’ #she doesnt seem as stock cartoon evil as lizard did at least. though there are hints of it #‘’gasp…. she didnt give them NAMES’’ #wc comics liveread #idk these sorts of plotlines just remind me of why i like times arrow from bojack horseman so much #cause like. beatrice is still a horrible person who abused her son. but the narrative recognizes that shes also an abuse victim #and its a horrible situation all around where she perpetuated the cycle and stuff #idk sorry if some of this is incomprehensible im sorta half asleep rn

[ps-aeiou-vowels]

Something that struck me.

In the new/hidden/joke ending, Lily can't go down the well because she’s thrown out all her materials.

"Does this mean this run was a success?" 

"Nah, she still got dressed and left the house."

Lily will always make the choice to help before the player starts to control her.

Lily is dressed and ready when the player begins the game. There is no other option. There is no way to call for help, no way to leave unless she's tried at least every length of rope, failed the test at least 10 times..

No matter what images of the gruesome deaths (that the player leads her into) remain in the back of her mind, the choice she makes will always be the same. A choice the player doesn’t get to make: get up, get dressed, and try to help the person in the well.

#and disobey her father. #Lily's Well #this took forever bc i wanted it to really capture something ive been thinking about nonsto #been working on it slowly as i fixed my csp #been working on it #there is no option for you to -not- enter the well #also ive seen cleariceblue notice my fanart hhghf hi. #the use of video games as a medium is critical to the telling of this story because you are simply guiding lily through the cycles #she will never change #she will only be hurt over and over until she can reach out and break the cycle #the storytelling truly inspires me in a way i struggle to express bc there's also a personal aspect in there i.e. the abuse analogy #one day i hope to do indie game work in some capacity when i get a better hold of being ill #idk these tags are now endless but this is an incredible use of mechanics and it hurts real bad im dying squirtle #macabre when it needs to be #brutal when it needs to be #but always always kind #i want to trigger tag this but that will not work unless you know the game hhghf #anyways thank you cleariceblue like genuinely i think i needed to see and play this game like personally to feel certain things #i needed to feel #hoping i managed to capture some of that #fanart tag

[babtest]

back in my day, we didnt care who was secretely a narcissict, we were too busy measuring our fingers to see who was secretly gay

#idk it feels like we've found a new buzzword to hate and speculate on #like even the tabloids are more likely to be #Yay Gay <3 because thats more acceptable now #so now the speculation cycle needs something else #that conveniently comes with the abuser-victim-rescuer (or in this case impassive spectator who still feels good for watching) narrative #oh or maybe someone smarter than me could actually track #if this took of shortly before Depp revved up ye olde smear campaign #sorry my recommend page on a fresh tabs keeps showing me the Worst sites

[blizzardeoreoqrico]

it has occurred to me that maybe the previous golden guards didnt know they were grimwalkers

belos implied they all turned against him, but that could be because of all the other messed up things he has done, not because of the whole you're-a-copy-of-my-dead-brother thing

i wonder if they ever found out. did they die not knowing? did belos tell them just before getting rid of them? maybe in their last moments, belos says something among the lines of "I'll just make another one", and they wondered, in the time they had left, what he meant by that

#toh #the owl house hunter #the golden guard #the owl house #idk i just have Thoughts about them #i wanna know all the golden guard lore #im just a sucker for stories that repeat themselves #something something abusive cycle something something hunter is the one to break it

[hyugahell]

Hiashi, answer honestly, do you love Neji as your nephew? Have you ever cared or worried about him?

Hiashi: W-well I-...well of course I care for Neji as my nephew! He's my late brother's precious child, why wouldn't I care about his wellbeing??

#hyuga clan blog #anon this is hiashi mcfuckin hyuga you're asking #i don't think this man can really express something like familial love like a normal person #much less anything not stoicism or not negative really #i mean look at his father who suggested to kill off his twin to keep him alive #do you THINK this man was raised in a way he's be able to understand and express feelings?? #he's just....broken and jaded in a sense? Mans a fuckin dick fr but there's these slight moments where we can see him *attempting* to care? #idk he makes me mad i wanna push him down stairs #cycle of abuse going on in that compound and he didn't escape it

[roobylavender]

OOOOH can I ask why u didn’t like polite society? I overall liked it but I def preferred We Are Lady Parts, also by Nida Manzoor, and ultimately had more nitpicky criticisms of PS than Lady Parts

yeah i feel the same way tbh and i'm wondering if it's bc polite society was a movie as opposed to a show so it didn't necessarily have the same amount of time to really develop its plot points or characters? but i feel like what ultimately bothered me is it was sort of a movie about ria at lena's expense. like aside from that initial scene about lena trying to make art, she was never really afforded personhood outside of the immediate arranged marriage plot and ria largely facilitated that. which i think the movie tried to critique obv but i don't think it accomplished that effectively bc ria was sort of conveniently excused of being held accountable for her obscurity of and projection onto her sister bc she was right about raheela's secret plan all along. so it ended up being less a movie about sisterhood and more a movie about.. ria was right the whole time and ofc raheela was evil and now everyone is happy the end? which is oversimplifying it a bit but that's how i came away from the movie feeling, like i knew absolutely nothing about lena other than that she wanted to do art once, dropped out of art school, thought she wasn't good enough, done. she was never really afforded the same amount of detail or introspection that ria was and resultantly felt like less of a character and more of a prop. i also understand the raheela plot was largely satirical exaggeration but i feel like when juxtaposed against the sister conflict it was very.. awkward? like comparatively in we are lady parts even though there's moments of ridiculousness and exaggeration it does ultimately maintain a realistic tone. and this movie felt like it was split in trying to tackle realism and absurdity at the same time and it didn't mix well for me at all in the end.. like i hate to make this comparison bc frankly i'm not a fan of this movie eitherjklgjdfhkfg but in greta gerwig's little women at least if there was a plot about jo fearing losing her sisters to marriage it was balanced out by the fact that those sisters actually had lives and personhoods and dreams that were shown in full measure. but like i already said lena didn't really get her own perspective in this movie and so it felt more like ria was angry about losing someone to arranged marriage than she was angry about losing her sister. like does that make sense? bc obv within pakistani society the practice and threat of arranged marriage is a very real one and ofc there's a worthwhile story to explore in a younger sister fearing her older sister will lose out on her dreams and aspirations if she opts for marriage out of a sense of failure and depression. but the way that arranged marriage was just so absurdly and cartoonishly portrayed kinda undermined the whole thing for me bc it felt less like ria was saving her sister from a societal institution and more like she was saving her from a random evil cartoon villain

and i think that in turn kinda veers into how most of the characters in this movie generally felt very, very generic. not only when it comes to motivations and archetypes but frankly also culture. like i couldn't really tell what anyone was beyond a generic south asian. culture was such a minimal part of the picture beyond the negative parts of it the movie chose to focus on and i simply find that unbelievable like even the most burger and liberalized pakis i know are entrenched in being paki. and i know that's an unfair assumption to make of any diaspora paki like i'm sure many are not entrenched in culture but it's about the little things yknow? like trinkets around the house, or family pastimes, or little endearments, or trips to paki desi stores. this movie felt so removed from that semblance of the everyday. like it could've been about any group of asians really. and that's a bit ironic too bc despite being a movie about pakis most of the cast were actually indian. which to be clear i'm not someone who gets up in arms about nationalist identity etc like that's dumb and frankly we should never have been separated into two countries. but i think if you're making a movie about paki muslims then they should sound like paki muslims, no? every butchering of terms was not a knife to my chest per se but it was certainly annoying. and i also found it ridiculously hard to believe that even the most posh paki auntie would show up to her son's wedding wearing whatever that atrocity nimra bucha had on was. like even gaudy women dress culturallyglkfjhfg. idk. maybe it's me being too nitpicky but i feel like it's something that bothered me more here than the removal from culture in we are lady parts bc that is precisely the point in the latter: cultural isolation from community. we are lady parts just seemed to go so much deeper into the themes it was trying to explore and i feel like polite society never really broke surface level

#outbox #sorry omg that's so much.. i feel so mean being critical of diaspora media bc it's like! #obv some of this is coming from experience! #but idk i think when you're criticizing your culture it's very easy to fall back on caricature as opposed to substance #and that's what it felt like here #maybe that's something i esp felt bc i've been so entrenched in desi dramas recently and the difference in nuance is. utterly staggering #like maybe it's a personal preference but i want to see abusive and exploitative mothers that feel real and not like cartoons #bc that's what they are. they're not evil for no reason. there's reams of trauma and cycles behind all of it

[heartslobbf]

thinks about the kiryuu siblings. explodes

#spent far too long thinking about nanamis precious thing today :) #and also the student council meeting in gracefully cruel.. ‘i only wanted to treat my dear sister well’ / ‘like a pet cat?’ aND ALSO + #THE GREEN BALLOON WITH THAT LINE!!!!!!! #anyways um i had to stop thinking about the kiryuu siblings they would just be like he betrays you as much as he saves you your brother + #will sell you your brother will eat you eldest sibling resentment youngest sibling naivety all you did was be born resent and hate and love+ #and adoration and just. the cruelty of touga’s actions. the unspoken resentment he holds. the sense of alienation of it all #idk there r LOTS of moments in 10 31 and 32 in particular where touga does something absolutely fucking despicable right after nanamis said+ #something that is sooooooooooooo ganymede core and if that doesn’t destroy you idk what will #girls when they try to articulate the parallels between anthy and nanami and anthy and touga and akio and touga and all of those 4 without + #exploding. like the post says it all lol im just rambling here being insane #the mistrust the lying the violence the adoration the love the resentment ALL OF IT. ALL OF IT!!!!!!! #tearing my hair out. absolutely screaming and crying #i have my first a level exam tomorrow morning and im just sitting here thinking about nanami. drowned kitten. calf for the slaughter #and her brother who has decided that instead of being a victim he will be an abuser. idk man! they fuck me up #you know he betrays you as much as he saves you………. anyways #light and love <333333 #rgu was just like hey here’s nanami an abused 13 yo girl who has no conceptualisation of different forms of love and adores her brother and+ #desires to be close to him like they were as kids. but he’s so cruel to her keeping her at arms length when he needs her and ultimately + #rejecting her. gee i wonder why that is……. oh…….. Oh…… #all you did was be born. your brother will raise you and sell you and eat you. the cycle of it all. ok im going 2 lie down now #shut up daisy #rgu #revolutionary girl utena

[abyssalpriest]

I think whatever I end up doing the lesson is at its core "you need to stop seeing all attempts at saying you experience something as you taking up too much space and being dangerous, and you also need to understand everyone always makes mistakes sometimes (nothing anyone thinks is fully right) and you're not lesser and amateur at channelling because you aren't fully right, and also some third thing he says there is but idk what it is"

#Bc I don't want to be an authority anyway I just want to have fun embodying my role as a channeller of his like.... #And IDK I think at some point I need to understand that cycles of abuse happen when people think they're owed something and that others #deserve to go through what they went through. But I.... Am so against continuing the cult cycle that I sit here making light of #my life's work and not respecting is at all on the off chance it might negatively impact anyone in any way bc negative impact on my mind is #just immediately equalled to Cult Activity in my head. But like. Bruh. I don't even like interacting w people that much and I have the #Schizotypal Thing of not having an impulse to make new friends let alone a fuckin cult #Anyway. I need to stop catastrophising ''it would be nice to make this whole channelling Leviathan into an official thing #and test the limits of channelling and divination and whatnot'' into ''oh my god that's making myself an authority like he said not to do #and also that's just borderline making a cult that's continuing cycles of abuse'' bruh. Me occasionally doing a reading about his opinions #on something for someone else while making sure that someone understands my disclaimers that it's being translated through me/etc #Or something like that. Is not..... Declaring myself an authority on anything nor roping them in to rely on me ESPECIALLY when I always #explain how you SHOULDN'T rely on me as fact bc it's never fact like that's.... #Anyway. I should've expected this now that I think about it bc he often works with spiritual consultants for human groups and shit like #And he is endlessly humbling lbfr he always tells people who are worth working with when they're being dumb/etc and I want to be #Worth working with. Anyway. God hello I Need More by Misanthrop. ''I need more I need nothing I need more I need nothing'' yeah exactly #That's already a leviathan song this context is absolutely a mood. There is a MIDDLE GROUND. #Anyway again this is years away but #I'm way too socially anxious to do anything close to the thing like this blog just Existing is already testing all my social buttons but hey #ramblings // #Diary //

[ipoddymouth]

tbh i don’t think anything m*tty’s said or done is like……THAT bad to warrant all the media around it BUT I do think the way him/taylor and her team have chosen to handle it is WILD dkdkssksksk

#obligatory mention that i do find his actions problematic #but if you took the fame away from it all this would b v mid #like it’s only a big deal bc it’s her and she’s heavily scrutinized now and forever #it’s giving big ‘celeb of the month we hate’ bc I guess there’s nothing else going on rn??? #but i think if he’s actually sorry it would be best to apologize #and if Taylor’s team wanted to stop being weird they would say something too #bc this is like having your boyfriend talk shit on a girl #and then you invite that girl to perform you at the talent show #like it’s not that serious but it’s also not weird #idk i feel liek we have this weird media cycle of demonizing people for truly mid behaviors #like yeah the person is annoying and I do not like them it’s like we can’t just not like someone anymore #I saw a post saying Joe alwyn was gaslighting Taylor their whole relationship and it’s like…….. #why would you say that???? that’s a big accusation to make #but then i remember a lot of these people think that getting into one verbal argument with your parents #counts as abuse so…………I guess i get it????? #but this is all just messy #not like astronomical catastrophic but just …. silly drama

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

smth really interesting i just realized abt smile 2022 is that the curse fucks off if you kill someone violently in front of another person whereas succumbing to the curse means killing YOURSELF violently in front of another person. so basically you have to traumatize & kill someone regardless of whether you win or not which i think adds a lot to the movie bc it's so cruel and nonsensical like a good era creepypasta and i adoreeeeee it

#like yadda yadda the cycle of violence is perpetuated evil is a relay sport sometimes u can't see abuse from the outside #but it's just so incredibly mean and ruthless and it works so well idk why anyone expected a good ending when the curse works like that #& just the fact that rose is very much not like a chosen one to end the curse or something. this thing has touched so many other ppls lives #rose is basically just another victim of circumstance and it's unfortunate for her that she has past trauma that she hasn't got over bc #that just makes her easier for the monster to manipulate #im so autistic abt this movie rn sorry. i played the ost for my family tonight too

[canwehavehextonite]

i rlly wnna unlearn shame this year im kinda over this and it holds me back so heavily in every area of my life its so bunk

#ty religious trauma ♡ #nt tht u can unlearn something so deeply ingrained on a deadline ill be unlearning all my life.. #but within reason i wnt it to stop impacting my life so badly bc im stifling myself and its so impossible to do anything stuck in that cycl #idk im jst realizing how bad it is since later last yr and im at the beginnings of undoing it so its very easy to fall back into #and it impacts my relationship w myself and w my friends and my art and self expression and daily functioning and mental health its so craz #shame drives me. and im so over it!!!!! #anyways if any1 knos concrete ways they unlearned shame frm abuse hmu

[faultsofyouth]

Im not psychologist I have no right to diagnose anybody but I strongly suspect the trans people who claim they are in danger from problems and dangers that are scientifically impossible are caught in a persecution complex

#never in my life have I seen the phrase 'transgender gene editing' before now because. no one who hates trans people is talking about that #And no one who is even midly critical of gender ideology talks about wanting that #let's get real for a second I think these people are currently living in a prolonged state of abuse #either they are cycling through abusive relationships or they live in an abusive household or they are constantly exposed to danger in thei #regular environment and nobody in their life believes them or they are gaslighting these people about it #and after years of Knowing something is wrong but being unable to express it or convince anybody around them that something or anything #Is deeply wrong in their lives these people start doubting their ability to accurately assess and work through their trauma #so they start looking around for Anything they can find to point at and say 'this is what I am scared of. This is what is threatening me' #In hopes that if they point at enough things eventually they will point at the Real thing and Somebody will intervene #and finally take them out of their life and into a place where they can finally rest and recover from the pain they have been in #but they never point at the 'right thing' because their problem fundamentally comes from saying what is wrong and being ignored #being dismissed and called crazy or stupid or selfish and denied the opportunity to ever just fix and get over what originally hurt them #and its not their fault that no one is willing or able to help them with their problems. it's just that these issues are too big #for one person to make better on their own and so they start looking for a way to avoid it #to fundamentally rewrite their pain and their trauma into a more 'fixable' issue (but then 'fixing' it never helps bc thats not whats wrong #and in their desperation to have a solvable problem they invent stuff that is more and more detached from reality than that their body #does not match their brain and this is a medical issue. #and I really feel for these people because it is terrifying to live as a trans person and that terror almost always #Coincides with other traumatizing issues that fuck a person up #But also like. just open your eyes bro. like idk what to tell you. shit sucks #Move away from the shitheads when you can; learn to shovel shitheads when you can't; and focus on the love the world has to offer you #there is some love and peace out there. you will find it. rip #my posts