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toorurs · 10 days

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AQUARIUS

synopsis: in which the both of you get partnered for a mission, but not just as work partners.

pairing: chūya nakahara x fem!reader | wordcount: 2.7k | content & warnings: fluff, mention of chūyas past , choppy writing + no proofead (you can tell when i got lazy + its 3am does it looks like im gonna proofread), unestablished relationship, they work at the pm, cursing (son of a bitch), chūya calls reader a term of endearment once (doll), dual pov | prompt: fake dating | onseshot

event: STARCROSSED 2024

tags: @azullumi hi beloved super cool azul ure so super duper cool. dont flip out but azul liked and rbed ur posts. me: (whys theres no backflip emoji) (we're literally friends). but omg i acc dont have friends im a mess im a loser im a hater im a user

a/n: i finished this at 3am also boo gingers perish /j. hope yall enjoy!!

“so? what are we here for, boss?

the auburn haired man asked. his left hand is glued to his side, resting on his gray waistcoat, his right hand was loosely shoved into the pocket of his dress pants. chuuya cocked his head to the side as he questioned your boss.

“i’ve made my decision.”

the man who was seated in front of you in his claret bergère chair announced. his slender fingers were encased in white adhesive gloves. the palms of his hands were facing down as he rested his chin on the back of his hand, magenta eyes flickering from chuuya and then to you before exhaling quietly and closing his eyes, pale skin draping over his eyes.

“after some back and forth, i’ve come to the conclusion that the most suitable person for this mission will be our dear miss [name]. she’ll be your plus one to the ball, accompanying you to your mission thus also carrying it out with you. gather information about our target and return as soon as possible. understood?”

the man before you asked, a playful smile had found its way on his face and his head was slightly angled to the side as he awaited your agreement.

“understood.” the both of you said in unison. chuuya took off the fedora that was placed atop of his head with his left hand and put it onto his chest as he closed his eyes and the both of you bowed down.

“very well then. i await good news.” mori continued to smile as he gestured to both of you to take your leave by waving.

when you arrived back home, you immediately spotted two big boxes that were placed in your living room. one of them included a gorgeous dress, although it was a bit plain - a monochrome dress, it was beautiful nevertheless. as you stood up to see how the piece of clothing would fit you, you took notice that it was quite long, the expensive fabric immediately meeting the floor. the material of the dress was sewn a bit tighter to make the waist stand out a bit more.

the other box contained a pair of matching heels in the same color. they weren’t too extravagant but still it seemed like the boss went all out when choosing the clothes. admittedly, you were a bit excited to see what chuuya would wear, would his outfit match with yours?

even though the both of you have worked together in the port mafia for so long and have been executives for a couple years now, the both of you never went on missions together, at least not when it was just the two of you.

chuuya gained the title of portmafia executive at the ripe age of 16, one year after he had joined the portmafia. while you on the other hand have only been an executive for a few years now. chuuyas strength is immense, not only the power of his ability but also his physical strength. he's not only respected but also feared among the members of the portmafia.

so to say that you were a tad bit nervous would be an understatement.

you set foot inside the big mansion, stepping towards the ballroom that was located right behind the doors of the entrance. a big chandelier adorned the ceiling, it illuminated the big room in a saffron-like color. the kaleidoscopic marble floor glittered beneath the opaline light and the large windows were shielded by white translucent curtains, behind them the moon and the stars were sparkling gracefully.

but they don't compare to chuuya - not in the slightest. he’s dressed in a suit that matches your dress, beneath his blazer there was a waistcoat and he doesn't wear his fedora or any other hat.

chuuyas eyes glow like a sapphire, the azul pair of eyes hides so much beneath them, they reach until the depths of the ocean, that is full of mysteries waiting to be uncovered - just like chuuya.

chuuya tenderly held your gloved hand with his left one, leading you to the side of the dance floor where everyone else stood, drinks in their hands as they chattered and laughed. the both of you came to a halt and the conversations stopped, attention solely on you and chuuya.

“my, some new faces. and who might you be? an elderly woman asked, as she took a small sip of her champagne.

“well, my name is chuuya nakahara. it's a pleasure to meet you.” he reached out his right hand to shake hands with the elderly lady. “ah i see. well then, nice to meet-” “the pleasure is all mine!” before she was able to finish her sentence someone interrupted her, chiming into the conversation. you turned your head over to the source of disturbance, a young man who was dressed in all white, hair a bit unkempt as he gave you a boyish smile.

“the pleasure is all mine!” the man repeated happily. “well, i'm sure it is.” chuuya murmured under his breath, giving the man a look that said “we heard you the first time.”

“may i ask who the lovely lady next to you is?” the man asked excitedly as if he had a hard time waiting. “oh you may.” chuuya responded in a faux courtesy tone. “she’s my spouse, my wife actually.” chuuya held up his left hand that was still intertwined with yours.

“chuuya..” you glanced at him from the side, whispering through gritted teeth, as you continued to smile nicely at the other people who were conversing and you could only listen.

“hm what is it?” the auburn haired answers, slightly raising his eyebrow as he turned his head to face you.

“it was supposed to be girlfriend, the boss never said anything about being married.” your voice croaks a bit, overall it seems like tonight your voice has betrayed you, sounding awkward everytime you exchange a word with chuuya.

“oh.” chuuya uttered.

“yeah, oh.” you sighed. the man seemed to take his leave and you continued your talk. “well, what's done is done. it doesn't matter now. let's just continue, carry out the mission successfully and report back to the boss.”

“yeah.” chuuya nods in agreement. “let's split up for now and gather intel and information about our target.”

“alright, i'll go to the other side of the room then and you stay here?” you ask.

“sure thing.” chuuya responds and calls over the waiter, asking for a small glass of wine, so he can pass the time a bit and doesn't only have to mindlessly listen to their boring conversations. after the waiter takes his leave, chuuya notices that you’re still here, next to him. glued to your place, not moving an inch.

“wasn't it your idea to split up? why are you still here? he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

you let out an exasperated sigh. “well, you see, i was trying to. but, someone's hand has been holding onto mine very tightly for the past minutes and won't let go.”

chuuya seemed to catch on pretty quickly and immediately let go of your hand. “m’sorry.” he mumbled. “ah, don't worry.” you cast him a small smile before leaving and step towards the other side of the room.

chuuyas eyes can only follow you. (they always have.)

after you left, his hand felt empty.

(but it's not like they’ve ever felt complete. he hides his hands to conceal his ability, the one that causes tumult and destruction, the one that makes him question if he can even be considered as human. his humanity is one thing chuuya still struggles with, it haunts him like a hunting animal, a wolf running and seeking out its prey, shredding it into pieces and devouring it without any mercy. but in this case chuuya can't help but wonder if he's the wolf who always seeks for the prey - the validation and the reassurance if he's human or if he's the prey that gets tormented by the constant feeling of knowing that he’ll never be (human) enough. for others, himself and you.)

the wine glass that he now holds in his left hand doesn't compare to your hand, it doesn't fill the endless void that chuuya sinks into. (he wonders when he’ll completely be devoured by it and eventually drowns.) your hand was the one that held out to him, the hand that’d pull him out of it, if he himself wasn't able to do so.

(chuuya is used to doing everything on his own, everything that once belonged to chuuya was stripped away from him, like a sheep that has its pelt ripped away from a wolf. his family, his friends, his humanity, they were once his. chuuya nakahara also belonged to him once - now he belongs to the port mafia. it has always been like that; it will always be like that.)

he can't help but grip his glass in envy as he watches you from across the room as you ecstatically laugh and chatter with a woman your age, it looks like you’re enjoying yourself, having the time of your life.

the way you laugh, move around so that the frills of your dress twirl with you, and eyes glimmer make you look majestic.

to chuuya you're not an outworldly creature like an angel that was chosen by the gods and descended from the heavens or a fairy that has magical powers to bewitch him.

you’re human - you’re more human than anyone else chuuya has ever encountered in his life, perhaps that is when chuuya really realized what it meant to be a human.

the raw and pure nature of humans was perfectly depicted in you.

the way you flawlessly managed to do every task you were assigned with and always came back with a bright grin plastered across your face, the way you always looked out for everyone, the way you sometimes went completely batshit during missions. you’re what chuuya has always imagined under being a human. (or perhaps all of his beliefs of being human have changed as soon as he saw you.)

you’re the large white and empty canvas that waits patiently until it gets filled with tons of colors. chuuya is the artist who holds the paintbrush in his hand, fingers trembling as he draws paint strokes along the canvas. pouring his heart out into the painting, vivid colors full of emotion, that say more than a thousand words ever could. chuuyas art makes paintings come to life - you. his muse, whom he could stare at for an eternity during an art exhibition, just like now during the ball.

you’re beautiful.

“mr. nakahara?” a male voice made him snap out of his haze, upon seeing who it was, chuuya almost spat out the red wine. great, it was the guy from before. “yes? how can i help you”? chuuya gives him an unimpressed look as he twirls the alcoholic liquid in his glass around. “I just wanted to ask if i’d be permitted to dance with your spouse. she's a really lovely woman, i felt quite bad for her because you didn't invite her to one single dance yet, even though you're her husband!” the man looks at him unapologetically.

son of a bitch.

but again, who was chuuya to judge? chuuya isn't in any position to forbid you to dance with someone, after all, the two of you weren't even together, the two of you were just partners, work partners to be precise.

still, there was something that stirred inside chuuyas gut that made him feel uneasy. an ugly feeling that made his gut churn. is this how jealousy feels? sure, chuuya has felt jealous a few times. seething in envy as he saw people with good relationships to their friends and families, people who were allowed to live a normal life, living just like a normal civilian, doing normal things, without having to worry. chuuya couldn't help but feel jealous.

but this time it's another type of jealousy, he’s not jealous of other people because they own something he doesn't but he’s jealous of the people who’re just as smitten for you as him.

“ah, well you see. i was just about to go and ask her for a dance. please excuse me.” his words are bitter and the glass of red wine is long forgotten, placing it onto the round table which is covered by a big white table cloth.

chuuya makes his way over where you stand, your cheeks are tinted in a rosy color, from the alcohol he assumes. your hair is a bit disheveled, have you played with the strands of your hair? but nevertheless, you continue to shine as beautifully as ever.

he tips you onto your shoulder and upon that you slightly flinch and turn around, eyes widening a bit when you see chuuya. “what are you doing here?” you whisper.

the auburn haired man doesn’t respond to your question, instead he bows down and reaches out his hand out to yours. “may i ask for this dance? after all, it takes two to tango.” chuuya thanks the gods that instead of facing you right now, he's facing the floor. he's not sure if he'd be able to bear it if you saw his flushed face.

your mouth shapes into a little “o” before responding. “sure.” you hum as you happily place your hand into his, intertwining your fingers. upon feeling your touch, chuuya immediately pulls you towards the dance floor. your movements start off clumsily but chuuya helps you gain and maintain your balance, swaying you around the dance floor and twirling you around, as the both of you dance hand in hand. one of his hands is placed on your waist and your hand has found its home on his shoulder.

chuuya continues to sway you around during a slow classical music piece. “i'd prefer some hard rock music.” you can hear chuuyas' little remark and cant help but laugh upon that, it distracts you from keeping your balance and tempo, almost tripping over the long fabric of your dress.

“careful, doll. you're gonna slip.” chuuya whispers. his warm breath fans against your ear, the heat rises through your whole body, making you shudder and your goosebump hairs stand up. you can only hum at that, too taken aback by the term of endearment, to properly respond.

the both of you slow your pace, your hands wrapping around his neck and his hands snaking around your waist to sway around. you put your forehead against his chest first, until you fully lean into his embrace.

this moment feels too intimate. that’s everything chuuya can think about, he’s scared that one day you too will also be ripped away from him, he doesn’t want that. chuuya likes you a lot, he adores the way you hum the sweet melody against his chest, the way your hands accidentally keep slipping off his neck but still return there every time, the way you sometimes step onto his foot but he stays quiet, yeah he’s absolutely whipped for you - he loves you.

but, is someone who’s out of this world, a non-human, who only moves in the shadows of the world, allowed to love a human, who lives their life freely?

chuuya doesn't know.

your line of work is dangerous, you could always encounter dangers that’d have a terrible outcome and chuuya wouldn't be there to prevent them, again, he’d lose everything that makes him human. chuuya isn’t sure if he’s able to live through this once again.

the both of you are work partners, crossing this line would come with its consequences.

but he allows himself to indulge in this moment, just this once. humans are greedy and selfish aren't they? it's in their nature. so being selfish for once, just this one time, just for you, wouldn’t mean committing a sin, would it?

chuuya buries his face into your hair, inhaling your shampoo, it smells sweet - the saccharine scent makes him relax. he presses a chaste kiss on top of your head, before gently continuing to sway you around.

after all, this is what work partners do, right?

e/n: tbh i didnt like this at all. it was so choppy just sentence after sentence without a real plot imo. i just didnt like how this turned out at all but i dont think id be able to write smth else or else itd turn out even worse

#toorurs #— STARCROSSED 2024 !!#bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs fluff #bsd fluff #bsd x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya fluff #chuuya nakahara fluff #chuuya x you #chuuya x fem!reader

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soapoet · 7 months

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autumn energy reading

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Shufflemancy: Pancakes for dinner by Lizzy McAlpine

Are you getting tired of the push-and-pull? It feels like the moment you put your foot down, tell yourself you're done, they're cute but not that cute, you're getting impatient and want to see movement, that's the exact moment you're pulled back in. The chemistry between you and someone you're dealing with is electrifying. Outsiders could easily think the two of you are an item, and if you're not then you should be. But what's the hold up?

You feel like you're losing it, certain you can feel their presence, lurking, creeping closer, and once they consume your thoughts and have you twirling your hair, kicking your feet as you lay on your bed daydreaming of the what ifs, their energy fades and you begin chasing it down. You're not the obsessive type either. You do not chase, you attract. And I promise you that what you are doing does not constitute as chasing. The person you're dealing with is. It's like their throwing their line into your pond, and you nibble at their bait, but when they fail to reel you in you simply let go. It'll take more than bait to catch you, and I think they're catching on.

We've heard it all before, but it really is them, not you. Something is holding them back even though they want to rush in. Inside them is two knights in the midst of a tug of war. One is rearing to go and wants to reach out and take action. The other is cautious, shy, and wants to take it slow. But the fierce warrior feels a little scared they'll scare you away, and the steady feels a little scared you'll slip through their fingers due to what to you looks like indecision. Please allow this person some time to transmute their thoughts and feelings into a solid offer and determination. They may feel woefully uncertain of your feelings, too. Whilst the chemistry is undeniable, they're certainly overthinking it.

For some of you there could be a power imbalance or other outside circumstance that is causing this extraordinary caution. I'm getting a variety of options, so I'll simply list off several: they could be your boss or colleague, a mentor, an ex of a friend or a sibling, the crush of a friend, a friend of a sibling, someone who is currently taken, going through breakup or divorce. Either way this feels like it goes against the status quo or requires some secrecy and caution on both sides. Besides the shufflemancy song I will also give you the song Starcrossed Losers by The Fratellis because there is a distinct Romeo and Juliet element to this and I keep hearing this song as I'm reading the energy. It's like mutual pining, but there's a need to tiptoe around each other and dance only at a masquerade where anonymity allows you to engage freely. The risk may seem great, but the reward would be even greater. For some of you who are older this could lead to marriage. The risk seems to go both ways, too, which makes the tension feel that much more tangible.

I think this is the one time playing some games might actually work in your favour, and I don't take such things lightly as clear and direct communication is something I revere, and you may do too, but this one time I think ignoring that bait and giving them space to develop a little bit of fear that you'll slip away will create enough friction to light up a sense of urgency for them, leading them to drop the fishing rod altogether and simply dive in to get to you. So take a breather, live your life, speak when spoken to and hold your energy steady and available, but refuse to entertain the push and pull dynamic and demand they get out of their head and spring into action. They may need the wake-up call. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but they certainly don't just jump into the boat on their own, so don't make them make you do all the work.

Additional details:

Hangman (the game), hair changes (colour, cut), investments, unexpected income, first snow, oversized sweaters, bruises, blue pen, dietary needs (deficiencies, anemia, veganism, gluten free, allergies), fall/winter jacket, navy blue and army green, pets, home decor, thrift shops, couches (sleeping on the couch, couch surfing, sleepovers), butterflies, funerals, spotify playlists, keys, Switzerland, Ireland, Georgia, Midwest USA, Iceland, Norway, India. Virgo/Leo/Pisces/Scorpio/Cancer, 222/333/888/23, July/August/October.

02.

Shufflemancy: 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

The song I got for this one feels oddly specific. Perhaps you have some core memory tied to autumn or winter, a past love or heartbreak, loss of a loved one either literally or through ties being cut and going your separate ways. Either way, you may be feeling nostalgic around the time you're reading this, and it feels bittersweet. You may say it's mostly bitter, but there is a sweetness present too, even though you're pushing it as far down into the depths of the darkest corner of your mind like a dusty box of memories you'd like to forget. Your recently played songs may say otherwise, though. You could find your thoughts drifting away when you're not fully occupied and busy, to people and places you couldn't revisit without triggering some still-sore feelings.

Another thing that seems to be patchworked into this quilt is someone new, but it feels like the threads are quite loose. Maybe you ripped one square out some time ago and found a replacement, but it doesn't fit quite right. It could be a very confusing circumstance, a situationship, a talking phase that keeps going on and on and on, without anything set in stone. Perhaps that was alright by you at first, this could be a rebound or a new chapter you ventured into with a carefree and light heart, not expecting much more than some pleasant times for the short-term. But things got quite blurry fast, didn't it? Like a line drawn in the sand much too close to the shoreline getting washed away by the rising tides. You may have settled into a comfortable agreement of nothing serious, only for one or both of you catching feelings, but neither doing anything about it.

For some of you, you may feel like you're being treated like a significant other, as though you're in a commited relationship, like those boundaries of previous agreements were crossed and you entered something more, but seemingly unbeknownst to them. You yearn for clarity, a yes or a no, because you're growing tired of wondering what this is and where it's going. You could desire commitment and parting ways equally because this middle ground is hazy and unsettling in its indecision. You're the irresistible force and they're the immovable object. A strange paradox that you wish to see a solution for, for better or worse.

I see you tossing and turning, restless and wanting something tangible. Like you're surrounded by only mist, stumbling in the dark with nothing solid around you to hold on to. Not even the ground beneath your feet feels entirely solid. Like you're existing in space, no up or down, no corners, no left or right. You have more questions than answers, and every unanswered question breeds more questions. The person you're dealing with can't even be described as being hot and cold, just lukewarm. Neither refreshing or cozy.

Don't give your time and energy away for free. If you yearn for more, demand it. And move on if it isn't granted. Beware of trying to fill the void left by one with another if they simply don't fit. If you lost a corner piece of the puzzle, a centerpiece won't fit, and ramming it in won't complete the picture. There is potential with this piece and it could be more than what it is, but you need to redraw the lines and confront them with your needs.

Additional details:

Glowing stars, LED lights, layered clothes, chokers, mullets, lgbt, exams, train rides, group activities, events, poetry, doorbell ringing, left on read, birthday presents, social media (ig), psychology, internships, tattoos, cartoon characters, comic books, cobblestone, cute socks, chapped lips, butterflies and moths, bats, storms, power outages, Austria, Germany, Brazil, South Africa, Ghana, Japan. Scorpio/Aquarius/Aries/Virgo/Capricorn, 444/555/25, May/November/December.

03.

Shufflemancy: Rabbit hole by AViVA

I won't lie, this one felt very uncomfortable to read. Do you feel like your past actions were mistakes after all? Like you picked the wrong route in a game and only recently realised you shouldn't have gone down this path and wish you could go back and change your decision? You felt so sure about it back then. It was the clearest path forward, it made so much sense. One path was paved and lit up so well, had wonderful opportunities and helping hands along the way. The other one was overgrown, covered in exposed roots threatening to make you stumble and fall, it was dark and winding and wouldn't let you see further than the next bend, no telling what lurks behind the next tree.

You may have recognised, or you are beginning to realise, that you chose wrong. Not entirely by your own volition, but guided by people you thought had true and good intentions. They served their own good above yours, didn't they? You may feel ashamed that you were lead astray so easily. That jagged path looks so much more exciting now, like an adventure full of surprises and growth and opportunities, whilst the path you're on feels plain, pre-determined, and most of all not your own.

Some of you may have cut ties with significant people as you parted ways, and that may haunt you now. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Sometimes we need to take detours to learn lessons separate from those closest to us. When our paths part, they may cross again in the future. Not every goodbye is forever, some words and actions can be forgiven, and reconciliation is never entirely off the table so long as two people agree to meet there to discuss.

I see you walking down a street and coming across ghosts from your past. Not wholly unpleasant, but unnerving nonetheless. For some of you the roles may be reversed, and you are the ghost spotted by somebody who once betrayed you somehow, and now bear witness to the person you grew into once they removed themselves, and see the life you now lead without them. There is a mix of regret, shame, and envy here. Whichever of you chose the beaten path now sees the other leading a life of excitement and adventure, and wish they had done things differently.

This energy may come to a head in the next few months from the time you read this. You, or they, may reach out. If not for reconciliation then at the very least for closure. It would be best to forgive and agree to be cordial even you don't decide to give each other another chance. As for those snakes you may have discovered around you, do not hesitate to cut people off that don't serve your best interest. Don't give up your time and effort to fair weather friends when you desire mutual respect and the ride or die experience. You deserve better, and have all the opportunities to find better as long as you cut dead weight loose so that you can truly soar.

Additional details:

Bookshops, stationery, notes, emails, messenger bags, roses, animal crossing, picture frames, scrapbooks, younger siblings, book series and fandoms related to books or tv shows, cosplay, photography, Hannah Montana, blonde or light brown hair, spirituality, letters, diary entries, neat handwriting, tinder, Italy, Hungary, Scandinavia, South Korea. Capricorn/Sagittarius/Libra/Aries/Scorpio, 000/555/411/2020, January/May/November/December.

04.

Shufflemancy: Candy by Robbie Williams

With all these delays on so many fronts, you'd think the boss music would quiet down too, right? But alas, you may have felt it in your bones, been constantly alert and ready for something, but that something seems to be taking its sweet time to make itself known. There's been anticipation in the air despite the rains of doubt, delays, rejections, and all kinds of curveballs coming down on you. It's frustrating to know exactly where you're going and how to get there, but having stop signs and road work ahead at every turn preventing you from moving in that direction.

You've been very hard on yourself as of late. Seek help if you need it, but most of all be merciful with yourself and don't carry fault when it's not yours to carry. You've done enough, and if the world won't bend, you don't have to. Sometimes we throw ourselves at doors that just will not open, and it's not our fault but the doors for not budging. Don't hesitate to ask for non-professional help either. You have more listening ears than you think, just be clear whether you need affirmation or advice, because you may feel too vulnerable for the latter if you feel like you've already tried everything. Nobody wants to collapse after a race of which they weren't the victor, only to be told to get back up and run another mile. You don't need to have that kind of tenacity and willpower. It's okay to rest, to need a hug and a good cry and some understanding, kind words.

Take a well-deserved break, and most of all let others treat you to something nice. You may have trouble accepting not just help, but doting too. Do not get bashful and turn down offers now, but accept them as blessings that you are well within your right to accept and enjoy wholeheartedly without guilt or shame. A little break may also be just what the doctor ordered, as distancing yourself from the stormy seas for higher ground could result in better perspective and understanding of how and where things went wrong, and how to traverse the waves when you get back to it. Things that wouldn't budge before may finally start moving along once you've caught your breath and have the energy to try again. If you've been looking to relocate, the previous struggles and clouds of doubt could lift as if on their own, and by opening yourself up to assistance you could find more hands to help you push those boudlers uphill.

You may also have had an inkling about the following, as you're a very observant and intuitive energy easy for me to read, but the boss music you have been hearing as of late may be drumming up the entrance of a significant new person or group of people, arriving into your life soon. This person, or these people, may be older than you, or more experienced in some way. This will feel like being taken under the wing(s) of someone, a mentor like figure, who can show you the way where you have previously been running blind and lost on your own.

An important thing to note, however, is that they won't do everything for you, which at first may be disappointing as you've been doing everything all by yourself for so long, but these people, or this person, will show you the way and walk alongside you, ready to be leaned on when necessary, but not dictate the pace at which you go at, nor what you do, when you do it, and how you do it. You'll quickly find this a better alternative, as ultimately you want to be able to say you made it on your own, and see the fruits of your labour with your name on them, and you truly deserve the applause for all your hard work and efforts.

Additional details:

Travelling, airplanes, dinner, shopping sprees, new shoes, electric blue, orange, sunsets, Paramore, vtubers, ASMR, drawing/painting, digital art, plushies, fruity scents, dogs, D&D, astrology, paperwork, therapy, social work, bills, moving, new coworkers/classmates, Roman empire/mythology, kitchen magick, the UK, USA, Australia, Mexico, Honduras, Peru. Sagittarius/Libra/Taurus/Gemini, 111/222/12/21, April/September/December.

05.

Shufflemancy: Brightside by Arrested youth

Feels like a very strange time, doesn't it? Like you're putting on a pair of new shoes identical to an old pair you're replacing with the new. They look the same, but don't yet fit quite right and need to be broken in. You may be relearning a lot of things. Maybe you got out of a long relationship, romantic or platonic, even familial, or moved away to a brand new place, and nobody told you this transition into a new chapter, a new way of life, would come with growing pains as you learn to live your own life as a separate entity from someone, some people, or circumstances. It's equally empowering and unnerving. You can do more of what you want, but perhaps you forgot or never had the chance to quite figure out what that is.

Allow yourself the time and space to break this new chapter in. Don't rush and give yourself blisters from trying to run too fast too soon. Trace your steps back to things you used to enjoy, the things, places, and people that brought you joy, and used to sink your time into more back when time was a more abundant currency. Those in your life who understand what you're going through will also be less demanding and be more forgiving when you go through trial and error in terms of how to delegate your time.

And by all means, embrace opportunities to meet new people, but if you got out of a long-term romantic relationship I would caution against starting anything new too soon. You just got out of commitment waters, and you're still soaked and dripping, and this is likely to attract people who want long-term, but until you're dry and healed from the past, it would do both you and prospective partners more harm than good to get into something new. You need time to be whole within yourself, not as a part of a duo, but your own individual with options to grow in any direction you want without a say from anybody else. Even a short-term fling will hinder this growth, because if you're barely out of the commited mindset, it'll be difficult to not revert back to it only to feel cornered again and begin fighting for your freedom.

Some of you may have eyes on somebody new. Ask yourself if they're just a shiny new version of the old, with upgrades that undo much of the bugs and grievances of what you had before. Perhaps they are better in many ways, even ideal, but you could end up measuring them up to the old flame without thinking, and nobody deserves to be compared to other people. Nobody deserves to feel like a new iphone, because they will learn quickly that another one will be in the making the moment they're on the market, and fearing replacement somewhere down the line is neither fun or healthy. That's not to say you would keep lining up for new iphones every time, but do take time to really finetune what it truly is that you look for in a partner, and be specific.

Someone who originally makes your heart flutter may instead have potential to become a lifelong friend. Somebody you can rely on, who will tell it like it is, guide you, be there for you, and truly show through not just words but actions that they have your best interest at heart. This person may teach you a lot, and broaden your horizons in ways you previously thought impossible. They could be younger than you, or simply more childlike and carefree than you, but you will be amazed by their strength, courage, and resilience, and they may hold quite a bit of life experience, which they easily wield to help you make your life look like one you can feel proud of. It would be a shame to reduce a life companion to a romantic partner when sometimes platonic love can get your farther and help you reach the love you deserve. Don't rush to get the bride or groom when the bestman or maid of honour is right in front of you. They may quite literally hold the key to your next relationship with the various doors they can open for you.

Additional details:

Vikings, runes, the moon, Star wars, video games, co-op games, boardgames, nostalgia, guitars, cereal, tech, numbers and codes, inside jokes, mattress on the floor, solitude, fire, smoke, coffee, oatmeal, fasting, red/ginger hair, cats, packages and deliveries, medicine and vitamins, blueberries, rings, camping, mermaids, autumn equinox, aurora borealis, ghosts, the word "issue", Canada, the Philippines, Malaysia, New Zealand, UAE, Eastern Europe, Chile. Cancer/Pisces/Gemini/Capricorn, 13/999/666, February/March/July/September.

06.

Shufflemancy: Sweater weather by The Neighbourhood

Emotionally you may feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Things outside of yourself seem to be dictating what you can and cannot do or say or feel. You could be grieving lost love, but it feels less like you miss the person, and more like you miss how things were when things were fine. But you're also learning how much of that was a facade, a lie, or plain and simply a monotonous kind of "good enough". You may have felt settled and lulled into a sense or security of something that seemed so stable, and willfully overlooking any lack, flaw, and bump in the road and something arbitrary. Told yourself nobody's perfect, life isn't like in the movies, love is more stable without fire and butterflies, the routine is safe and the unknown is scary. That didn't pan out very well, did it? For some of you, you may have been cheated on, betrayed, lied to, hurt by somebody you never knew bore claws. Others of you, perhaps you realised all this time you were becoming more of a shell of your former self and living up to the expectations and standards set by someone else. For a few of you, this reading is moreso about a project or opportunity than a person, so take what resonates and flip it as necessary.

Amidst this grief and confusion, however, there seems to be a light, and if we allow for a litte bit of a cliché, it may feel as if it's the light at the end of the tunnel. For some of you it's possible the arrival of someone new into your life really shook things up, and they served as a catalyst to help you see how dreadful your life has become. This shake-up could've been quite the whirlwind and caught you off guard. This person feels new in more ways than one. Perhaps you previously stuck to more stable and reliable people, those who gave you a sense of familiarity as they reflected some of your own traits, who fit you like a glove. Your energy feels solid, meticulous, responsible, and very steady. You would understandably be shocked to the core when the wind suddenly picks up and it begins to hail and shine all at once in a life so frequently overcast and dull, yet predictable and safe.

A part of you has enjoyed the change of pace, right? There is something exciting and invigorating about the unpredictable nature of this hurricane hitting your shores. It can be triggering a bit of a saviour complex in you, too. One that seeks to calm the storms and tame the winds. You may find yourself protective of this person, but you're learning not to underestimate them. They may have been through a lot, but perseverance is something they pride themselves in. At first you may think of them as a fool caught up in storms of their own making, but eventually it dawns on you that they are more in control than they let on, and despite the turbulence they face they have unique ways to handle things all on their own. Your desire to protect and save them is insistent, but transmutes into assistance instead over time, and you may even become inspired by their tenacity and their wild ways.

There could be a brief period of radio silence between you and this person in the near future, which forces you to come to terms with your feelings. Divine timing seems to be at play, as the sudden disappearance of the sun forces you stare into the dark of the night and face your own shadow. Here you may learn that the two of you could be a perfect match. Opposites attract, don't they? You're similar enough to have mutual respect, love, and understanding, but different enough to keep things interesting and to cover your bases. Your weaknesses are their strengths and vice versa. Think of how far you could both go if you joined forces. This realisation, along with admitting to yourself that hiding your heart and staying in the corner licking old wounds forever will do you no good, will set you out on a path towards a future that firstly looks more like one built for you by you, and secondly gets you farther, faster, with better rewards and real gold in the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Perhaps it won't be easy, but I advise you to step outside of your comfort zone. You may wish to delay, wait and see, to take things slow and steady as you normally do, but know that this time that simply won't do. This is a great challenge with promise of even greater rewards, but it feels time sensitive. Just as the night gives way for the sun to rise, so too does the sun set to cast the day into darkness. You may dig your heels in and object, insisting good things are worth waiting for, but let me flip the script for a different perspective: would you like to stand in the pouring rain, waiting for somebody to open the door and let you in, or would you eventually stop ringing the doorbell and seek shelter elsewhere? Make up your mind before they do, and take action accordingly.

Additional details:

Tickets (events, travel), hoodies, gym, weightlifting, pets, plants, rice and noodles, disney, old cartoons, expecting/checking for messages, sleepless nights, sweet scents, coconut, vinyls, denim jackets, Brokeback Mountain, redbull, espresso, hiking, foraging, cooking, silence, empty house or office, greyscale, hair ties/scrunchies, 8-bit games, metal, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Montenegro, the Maldives, Zimbabwe, either the state of Georgia or the country, Virgo/Cancer/Leo/Aquarius, 111/666/777/10/30, June/July/October.

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