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goodieghosty · 3 years

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The sides as things I've thought or said during my mcD's shifts

Roman: I could be getting paid to draw rn. -Remus immediately after: could be getting paid to draw TIDDIES rn :(

Patton: -everytime someone drops fries on the floor and steps on them- "Are we making mashed potatoes???"

Virgil: will anyone hear me if I went into the walk-in and screamed rn?

Logan: "And why are the cups sizes all mixed up in my area?? Who did this? Who stocked this-everything is w r o n g-"

Janus: I read that order back twice and she confirmed it twice, that bish is not saying I took it wrong. I know she's not. "I'm sorry about that! I'll fix that for you right away!" Don't look at me like I'm the dumbass when you don't know how to fcking listen or read the big fckin screen

Patton: "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! :D"

Virgil: "Y'all I'm not feeling very gucci rn."

Janus: no the customer is always Wrong. I work here, they don't

Roman: -doing that stupid head bobbing thing when the egg timer goes off-

Virgil: is it too late to call out

Patton: -everytime someone used my lane as a shortcut and doesn't order- "Hi-neVeR MiNd!"

Janus: "Physically there's nothing stopping me from just, leaving the store. But I d o need the money s o."

Roman: -whenever I make an aesthetically pleasing drink- it's beautiful but I hate the customer who ordered this complicated thing-this is a McDonald's??

Virgil: -whenever I get more than four special drinks in the same order from a different order taker- "Oh, so you hate me, hate me??"

Logan: Am I the only one who cleans behind here? Because it feels like I do. If I quit this milk and coffee mess would create its own colony and become sentient

Remus: -literally every time I burn myself on the fryer- heheheheh scar time bby

Remus: "ngl sometimes I just wanna dunk my hand in the oil and go home"

Remus: -cleaning the mess in the milk fridge- if I drink this and get sick, I can go home

Remus: what if I just, locked myself in the freezer and never came out. Man I hope I slip and bust my butt on the new tiles

Logan: -letting the last bit of coffee from breakfast boil down into a nasty tar by the time rush is over so I can watch my cleaning tabs do their thing cuz I think it's neat-

Logan: -literally getting everything done and clean two hours before my shift ends-

Patton: -when two ppl call out and it's your shift and everything is going to s h i t and lobby and drive thru are both swamped- ":D we got this!!" Lmao can I die?? If I cry rn can I leave???

Logan: I'm the only bish here that actually cleans this damn cubby I s2g

Patton: "Owww ;A; is hot!!" -everytime someone orders a fresh small fry. The paper is super thin and it burns. And then they claim the fries aren't fresh, like I didn't just burn myself on them? Rood-

#i hate my job lol #goodie talks #sanders sides

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caxsthetic · 3 years

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It's the 31st of December now in my place, and I would love to write a little love and gratitude to all the new people that I met in 2020.

So, I am gonna start,

↪Dear, @aikk00

Honestly I never thought that we could be so close. You are such a kind soul, adorable and really loveable! I love how stupid the things we talk about, mostly about how superior eggs is and our little promises that we are going to meet up someday and I will cook all variant of eggs that you want! I hope amidst all things, we could do that (: I love you so much, Claire... Thank you for being a sunny egg to my uncooked egg💕 See you on a wonderful next year, baby!

↪Dear, @layschipsyumm

HA! BISH! Bet you are still falling asleep rn cjdndnd okay, my favourite Suna fuckers, I love you so much you cutie subby💋 Maybe the best thing I did in this year to slide into your DM and say how fucking good your colouring is and just wow... From just a simple hello turn into a random convo mostly us thirsting about our man... Thank you Tat my luv! Hope u have a wonderful year ahead!

↪Dear, @godjo

Cher 🥺 Hey, hey... Ugh gosh I still remember how everything started with just me crying over how beautiful your work is... It's smut? I shouldn't have cried? But goddamn it the more we talk the more we found a lot in common between us and talking to you just feels so right! You are so kind and so fun to talk with... I am glad I know you 🥰 Wishing you a great great 2021!!!

↪Dear, @dearest-kiyoomi

HELLO MY LOVE, gaahhh, still remember when you are a Sakusa fucker only and now look at you being a Samu fucker too mwah I am so proud of you 🤩 Anyway, I love you so much and thank you for hearing me rant and being so melancholic... And thank you so much for being my proofreader, you helped me a lottaa lotss! Hope you have a great holiday and wonderful year!

↪Dear, @mamori-tai

Baby hello hi! Thank you so much for being such a dear friend 😍 I always love how you comment through my works... Especially Solemn Promise, it was a work that I really hold dear in my heart because well, it's Kita Shinsuke and the topic is well— ANYWAY, thank you so much for being there! You are so fun to talk to, and I hope next year would be a wonderful one for you!

↪Dear, @just-a-tiny-ghost

Hey, baby... Honestly you are one of the people that I really love having a message from... You always ramble about how good and positive the people around you, all cute stories about you and your friends, I really love to hear that... And thank you so much for hearing me too! Wishing you a wonderful holiday, bby! Mwah💋

↪Dear, @blacckdiamondposts

CELINE MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING MY SUPPORT SINCE DAY ONE 😭 Hey bub how are you? I really hope that you are having fun, surrounded by people who love you and you love hehehe. I don't know what I would do without you, really. You are so supportive and listen to all my ramble about my story. I love you so much and I wish you a great holiday!!

↪Dear, @muffins-puffins

Shafff Shaafff, u are someone who really lovely to talk to💕 Every time I need to talk about Haikyuu, I just know who I am going to... I love how you respect my choice for not shipping characters and things! And like always know the words that could calm me down when I am emotional. I wuff you so much, thank you for being here for me! Have a great holiday!

↪Dear, @mrs-kuroojinguji

Ana, ana oh Ana😭 I don't know how to start honestly. I remember the first time we talk is because I post that editing of Kita pic about how I want to "rabi" him xjdnksks bye! But for real, since then you have been so supportive, listening to me rambles, and being such a dear friend🥺 The chocolate fudge is so fucking good btw and well— I really hope that we could meet up since well we are from a same city sjxnsnms lovee u so much my crazy baby Miss Sawamura!

↪Dear, @flairlust

Aaahhh I am so, thankful to you! You have been here for a long long time. Supporting me on everything! Either my writing or my merch, sliding to my ask here and there to ask how am I doing. You are so sweet and so kind I love you so much I hope you have a great year and a wonderful holiday🥳🥳🥳 Luvv uu so much and thank you once again for everything!

↪Dear, @kkoalaworld

↪Dear, @kuro0luvr

Hey, hello... My god, you are so so kind so good I don't know how to start you always hype me up and overall a great friend to me😭 Since that time I am in the lowest point of my life, you help me through it with a lot of things... Honestly, thank you so much, I don't know how to repay your kindness... But I love you, for real I am grateful to meet you...

↪Dear, @bjbex

HA, MY GOD, ALL OF YOUR WORK ARE JUST CHEF KISS MWAH baby I love you so much and like honestly talking to you is so fun and I always end up cackling nonstop when we started to talk shit😭 You are always so kind and like when I am down you lit ask and being serious dnskmsms you just know when to have fun and when to show that you care and honestly I love you so much for that, Bex... Thankk you for hearing me out most of the time, wishing you a good year ahead!

NAO aaaa honestly, you are like one of the bestest friend ever that I ever meet here. You always listen to me when I am feeling down, trying to provide me with some reassurance... You are one of the people that I trust enough to actually talk about my mental health... And I am so grateful that God give me a chance to meet you... You are angel to me, and I hope it last for a long time... Love you, Nao... Have a great year!

↪Dear, @t-amajiki

Gere my God, you are like the start of it all. You are the demigod, you are the one who creates a good server filled with so many wonderful people that everyone I could be so proud to call as my friend. Through you, I found what is it to feel cared, to be loved, to know that some people try to be always there. I am so thankful to God that I met you, and I hope you have a wonderful year next because you really, really deserve a good life.

↪Dear, @lnarizakis

Heyy Twinn, eheheh hello how are you👉👈 I want to say thank you so much for ever being there! I love when we talk non stop about our dear twins, and talking to you always been so fun! You are such a supportive hooman being and I love how we are now become a twin xjsndnsmsn it's stupid but it's cute eheh... Thank you once again for everything, and I hope you have a great year upon you💕

↪Dear, @tokyoghoose

Hello, my wife. My mickie, you are so so kind to everyone around you, honestly I wonder what kind of saint am I on my previous life that God allow me to meet you. You are so lovely, always reaching out to me constantly as if you know exactly when I am at the lowest... I am so happy that I met you, and I hope that someday I could meet you in real life. Thank you so much, Mickie, for everything. May you have a beautiful year in 2021 and so on💕

↪Dear, @himichii

Heyy babyy, how are you? Gahh, you know you are such a cool person, right? Like your words and your work too is so amazing! Aside from all of that, you are a good friend too and I am so thankful that I know you. Thank you for asking me sometimes when I am suddenly like, you know, gone ahahah so thank you really. I appreciate it all🥰 Hope you have such a good year upon you, baby!

↪Dear, @ravscrii

Rae, Raven aaaa I love you so much you know how to boost my mood with sending me lots of funny haikyuu meme and godwork of Haikyuu fanart (especially inarizaki you know me so well my goodness) Thank you so much for always asking me if I am okay and such, it was a simple gesture that I really appreciate. Love you so much, wishing you a wonderful year ahead of you💕

↪Dear, @macaronnv

Vvvvv heyy you my favourite Sakusa fucker🥳 We have a same timezone aight but well let me just tell you Happy New Year!! Thank you so much for listening to me ramble about inarizaki, to hype with me, and to be a good friend. Hopefully, someday we could meet up🥺 I love you, have a wonderful holiday, okay?

↪Dear, @ch4jime

Hello, sweetie🥺 You have been nothing but kind to me and I am so thankful that I know you. You are so fun to talk to and always reaching out when you know somehow I need company. Thank you so much for wanting to befriend, to talk to me. I wish you have a wonderful year ahead, and so on. You deserve all the good things in life!

↪Dear, @lcaita

Heyyo👉👈 I know that we didn't talk a lot. But honestly I love how you are always greeting me when I pop out on the server. Like I come out of the blue and you just "Eyceee" and honestly it feels so welcoming. Just a simple gesture yet it's really impactful. Hey, thank you so much for everything, really. I love you so much and I hope you know I will try to do the same, to be a better friend to you. May you have a wonderful year ahead💕

↪Dear, @evermorehaikyuu

IVY sht, you are like... Everything everything. You are literally one of the kindest person I ever met. I really want to meet you, you are someone that I could call as a best friend, and I am so thankful that I ever met you (": You are always so patient listening to me, even after all this time you are always there for me. Reminding me that I am not alone. I love you so much you don't know it... I wish you the best life, you smart hooman💕

↪Dear, @http-cookiescrumbs

Oh baby, you are like, wow. You are so pure and like always so positive when it comes to friendship. Since I know you, you always know how to make me feel happy, always bringing such positivity to your environtment. And I really love that, I love how much caring you are to your friend. Thank you for staying in my life, you are always, always be a friend that I hold dear in my heart. Have a great year ahead, my dear🥰

↪Dear, @kenmasbb

Hello baby hi hehehe I know we just talk for a few times but honestly talking to you is so fun! I hope we would talk a lot, because honestly from what I see so far you are such a sweetheart🥺 Thank you for hearing all of my thirst towards my husband, thank you for being patience to me xjdndjdk... I wuff uu so much, baby... I hope you have a wonderful year ahead! Have a beautiful holiday🥳 Stay safe!

↪Dear, @sugusho

Baby baby hello I remember when we start talking it was like, aahhh... Hello you are always be my sweet pea🥺 You are always so caring and so kind to me I love you so much... Hopefully we will always stay in contact. And now with how we kinda have the same man we like, hmmmm😼 I think we would stay in touch anyway... Thank you so much for being such a dear friend to me... I hope you are having a wonderful year, and a beautiful holiday!

↪Dear, Samantha, Tea, Oli, Miyu...

I don't know if you see this or not. But honestly, the best time of my life is when I meet you all. Talking to you all, I am a shit that time and to befriend you guys is like the greatest gift that happen to me (": Thank you, for everything basically. I love you guys so much... And I hope each of you have the best life because you guys deserve only good things and happiness...

↪Dear, Reena...

Oh you are one of the best thing in life. You are there since like, since I was nothing. Like I think I was like, only post my SMAU I think? It was like 9 months ago. And you are one of those who believe in me that I can do it. I can keep improving, hyping me up and always so kind to me. We are like thousands km apart but I hope someday I can meet you. I love you so much, Ree... Thank you for being there, and I am so grateful we still in contact💕 Hope you have a wonderful year ahead

#caxs.ramble #is this ramble #i just #i love you guys so much...

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henrikvanderswoon · 4 years

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Tomb of the Lost Queen Live Reactions:

Alright, guys, you know what time it is! Yep, it's time to eat too many snacks and ignore all other responsibilities well into the night! In honor of the plague, we're uhh... going to Egypt.

...

Anyway:

I love the music in this game so fucking much. I'm only at the menu screen and I'm already so happy. My childhood Ancient Egyptian phase is repeatedly fed whenever I hear this shit. 🐫

I'm a little offended that there isn't a pyramid emoji, tbh.

Okay, I appreciate the little opening in this game. The bit of background information about the other team, and the sandstorm in present day, I'm here for it.

Lily's got some nerve putting herself in charge of me.

"I'm not gonna go on a power trip or anything crazy--" bish, you already have. This is what you are doing.

Did anyone else watch House of Anubis??? That's what Senet makes me think of every time I play this. Actually this entire game makes me think of that show... Hot damn, what a good ol' time that was.

Gotta say, losing to Lily in Senet is literally the most dissatisfying thing ever. All that gloating makes me wanna tug on her braid. 😡

I have wasted a good 20 minutes playing Senet over and over again because I keep losing and I want to win.

ITS BEEN AN EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME COMING BUT I FINALLY KICKED HER ASS

Drunk on victory, I immediately celebrated by making Nancy drink like 7 or 8 glasses of water at one time until she got sick. What a time to be alive.

Nancy, you can't just walk into the tents and take everyone's shit. Abdullah is gonna march up one day and be like: "Who touched the flashlight I was charging?" And we're gonna have to be all: "...what flashlight?" 🤷‍♀️

Abdullah, please get your head out of your ass, please and thank ye very much, sir.

"A few tips? Yes. That's how I learned to read hieroglyphs - at first they were inscrutable and mysterious, but then I got some tips..." Frankly, I find this so fucking funny. Abdullah you're a vain egg head but you got jokes.

Shit, I forgot to grab a shovel.

"I need the right tool to clear this away--" Nancy, just use your hands and dig like a dog.

I really do love a lot of the puzzles in this game. I love figuring out the hieroglyph messages based on the glyphs and even the sliding one we have to do to open up that tomb and reveal the curse. Up my alley.

"You know why we stopped trying to take over the world?" Dylan, I uhhhh hate to break it to you bud, but... 😬😬

Also, I'm still confused as to why Dylan was ever allowed on the site to begin with. And Jamila. Who the fuck said: "SURE! COME CHILL OUT WITH US WHILE WE'RE WORKING ON A PRIVATE ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG! IT'LL BE FUN!"

"Are You Alien or Aliout?" is the most Sonny Joon thing I've ever heard and I love it.

"Insanus Totallus." Ha-ha-ha, wow, Dylan, what a... great jab. You really snatched Jamila's wig with that one, huh?

"Suckers Talking to Crazies." Oh. Just kidding. Lily wins the competition for Lamest Jamila insult. Christ.

Goddammit I get too trigger happy with the mouse as I fly down the corridors that I consistently click on jamila by accident and I'm not exaggerating when I say I scream every time. 🙃

I can't get Lily to leave the tent and I need to get into Jon's things because I need his lighter and i am FRUSTRATED.

Lily...pls leave. Let me set you and Dylan up on a date out in the middle of nowhere so i can sneak around while y'all bone, how does that sound???

No?

Fuck you too, then.

"If life were a good book, you'd be my favorite reoccurring character," is such an endearing line. I love it so much. Thank you, Beatrice. This almost makes me feel better about the fact that I can't get Lily to get her ass out of the tent. 😔

It's "talking to and calling literally everyone you possibly can until you literally can't anymore" time!

Baahahahaha I figured it out (sometimes I swear I feel so stupid replaying these games because I know for a fact that I figured these things out several times before lmao)

Dylan, you seriously had so much time to think up a good lie to keep Nancy off your back about why you're there, and you failed miserably.

The dialogue in this game is so fucking good to me. It's hilarious, but also Abdullah makes some excellent points about things, and Dylan makes himself look like an idiot and Nancy's sense of humor is great. Ah. I love it 😂

Dylan: "Ask me the stupidest question you can think of." Nancy: "Can I live here?" GOD. All your response options are golden, actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dylan, my guy. We all know when we say "distract Lily" we mean "bang her." Have fun, kids.

Speaking of banging: Dylan. Why are these noises you're making while I'm trying to save your life so overtly sexual??

"AH! YES!" ... "Yeah! Oh, that's it." SHUT UPPP.

The Egyptology facts they give us when we accidentally kill Dylan really just kills me too.

I keep killing him. Which means I keep having to listen to him 🤪

Me: *aggressively muting the game* Please stop moaning, Dylan, I'm begging you.

I love how Dylan tells you that the doctors think he'll literally die if he falls asleep within the next 8 hours, and every time someone asks how Dylan is Nancy's all: "He'll be fine! Right as rain! 100% completely out of the woods!" 😁👍🏻

When Abdullah freaks out about the columns moving and you just... blame the aliens. 10/10.

Even better. Abdullah is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE. And he doesn't notice you jumping from column to column??? BOI.

This... is all for now 😂

#i had to share this first half now honestly #im really having a time with this game xjdjsjsjjsks trying to play bit by bit throughout the days #tomb of the lost queen #tmb #long post #talking to myself #nd game reactions #(thats the new tag for this i guess???)

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thefirelookout · 4 years

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Childhood fear

When I was four years old, I began to draw snakes in my drawing khata.

A traditional “drawing khata” is a thing of childish beauty. Sometimes it is the size of your laptop in length and breadth, sometimes it can be a bit longer, depends on the child really. Oh, sorry about that, depends on the school that the child goes to. There are usually photos of national monuments on top, and there is a little portion near the bottom where one can write their name, roll no., section and subject. This is obviously a copy for the art class, yet there is the “subject” written on top. Funny. Inside, the pages are made of cartridge paper, which is sometimes known as art/chart paper. The surface is smooth on one side, a little textured on the other. No matter how tempted you are to draw on the smooth side, thinking that your pencils and crayons would glide on smoothly, you really need to draw on the textured side. Especially if you’re a watercolour type of person. The colour bleeds into the textured surface better, and does not spread. I didn’t know all these things at the time, of course. I would open the copy and draw on whichever side, sometimes on both sides to prevent wastage. My mother says, “Opochoykari shoytaaner bondhu”. I heard the “shoytaner bhai” version much later on in life.

Four year old Mustu was homeschooled back then, an arrangement that was to last for just one year. After that, hopefully, Papa will have a better posting. Mustu will have a school to go to, hopefully, after her father’s duties ended at the Chittagong Hill Tracts. Alikadam was a pristine cantonment where all the military personnel lived in thatched huts. Only the C.O lived in a tin shed house with his wife and his two little bullies—Hridi and Odri. I liked our house better, of course. We had a proper garden at the front, a swing, a walkway with flower beds around it. I learnt the name of many flowers, and here is a song that my mother taught me—

Tomar neel dopati chokh

Ar shet dopati hashi

Khopa ti te laal dopati

Dekhte bhalobashi

Dopati is a flower. So is morog phool. I realized much later on in life that not many are interested in flowers, so I lost interest in them too.

We had a lovely backyard too, and we could plant vegetables round the year. I remember arriving there in a little blue coat, with my silky hair “mushroom cut” before the move happened, my form lean and my cheeks chubby. My lips were still very thin. When we arrived, I went to explore the backyard in the afternoon after the initial unpacking was done. Dadu held my hand as I trotted in front of her. I discovered the hens during this trip—pitch black feathers with a red “jhuti” each, as much as the nature would allow a female chicken. I burst into a rhyme immediately—

“Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,

She lays eggs for gentlemen,

Gentlemen come every day

To count what my black hen doth lay”

Dadu was absolutely delighted. Higgledy and Piggledy. My two black hens. One name, yet conveniently separated into two. You pronounce them as “Hig-ly” and “Pig-ly”. We also met the cauliflower, the cabbage and the carrots growing in the garden patch. Memories left by the “previous” 2IC uncle and his family, memories that were to become food for the new 2IC and his family, the then Major Qazi Abidus Samad. My old man didn’t have his beard back then. He was clean shaven and kinda cute, he still is kinda cute. He just smiles and nods, has never hit me or scolded me. He’s the easier parent.

One day while I was peeing, Papa was standing outside, because I was only just learning how to clean myself. In the bamboo weave of the walls, I saw something white slithering away slowly, taking its time and checking things out on its way. I looked at it for some time, still used to fear from only one source. “Papa, wall er upor diye ki jeno chole jacche, eke beke!”

The army man understood. He hurried in, brought me down from the commode and told me not to be scared. I pulled my shorts up, and fixed my frock and wore my sandals. Some men came in with a couple of “lathis”. The little snake was taken care of.

This little snake became something of a martyr to me.

I learnt that carbolic acid had some special properties, it helped ward off snakes. We snake proofed our house in the following weeks by putting bottles of carbolic acid in different corners of the house, and made sure that at least one remained in each bathroom. I was not stupid, nobody had to forbid me to touch it or sniff it or drink it or play with it. I eyed the bottles every time I went to pee at the different bathrooms, and that was that. The bottles became a part of our lives, there but not there.

I like to think that Alikadam was my starting point. Let me try and explain this feeling, or why I feel that way so strongly. Before Alikadam, I was a mere toddler. Even though my mother and khalamoni keep telling me stories from when I was little, I don’t remember being that child. I don’t remember living in Dhaka, nor do I remember what Dhaka looked like. Some of my earliest memories is of the white Toyota Papa used to drive, and that too, being driven up the twists and turns of the hilly Hill Tracts, straight to Alikadam. I get flashes of earlier memories sometimes, me reciting difficult poems (“Kukur ashiya emon kamor dilo pothiker paye/ Kamorer chote bish daat fute bish lege gelo taay”), me playing a game of tag-you’re-it that I named “Abiyala” and running after our domestic help, me staring at the TV while the azaan aired just before iftar. These memories are merely fragments, but from Alikadam, my memories somewhat solidified. I remember the colour of the cow that I first saw being sacrificed, I remember the colour of my coats and my frocks, I remember which tree I used to sit under and read to myself, I remember Dadu’s voice, her sarees, her face when I annoyed her a little too much.

I vividly remember the cat who pawed at a cake that Ammu was excited about baking. She usually makes a weird face while baking or cooking, her heart is never in it. But back then she was really into baking. I remember hearing a little “bump” and a “maw”, and then running to the dining room. Ammu had just gotten out of the shower, she had heard it too. We both saw it. A tuxedo cat, black and white, was meticulously drawing patterns on the golden, square cake still sitting in its pan. Some patterns went horizontally, some vertically, some obliquely. The cat wasn’t eating any of it even by mistake. Ammu drove it away, of course, and threw the cake away somewhere that no human being could find it. “Listen,” she explained to me, “If somebody else finds it and eats it, they’re going to have an upset stomach, so we throw this away.” Actually, she never explained anything. She never explains anything. I just made that explanation up.

My mother doesn’t talk about the important things.

I’ve been afraid of my mother for as long as I can remember. Perhaps my earliest memory is of her carrying a “bhajir kathi” also known as a khunti, also known as a spatula, only made of iron and quite painful if one falls upon your back. My earliest memory of her is her terrorizing me with one of those scalding hot bhajir kathis, she just standing there and implying that she would beat me up. I was a baby, crying was my second nature, as it is for every other baby in the world. She would carry that spatula and display it before me as a deterrent. Fear made sure that I immediately stopped crying, not words of comfort.

I liked to fill my drawing khata with snakes for another reason.

That summer, there was a kalboishakhi jhor at least ten times more violent than what Dhaka experiences. Some of our lighter furniture was gone with the wind, one of our bigger trees in the backyard fell flat on its face. When the weather calmed down, my mother had the bright idea of picking the mangoes that the storm had brought to the ground. Dadu sat herself down on a chair at the front porch, I ran around in the bare verandah, and Ammu took a bucket with her on her mango-mission.

We suddenly heard some unintelligible mumbling from under the mango tree.

“Joleeeeeeel….Joleeeeeeel” “Ammu ki bolo?”

“Joleeeeel….Joleeeeeel”

Her voice was muffled, which is so unlike her. My mother was always shouting at anyone and anything, so I was clearly baffled at her changed behaviour. I did understand though, that she was calling one of our trustworthy Mess Waiters, Joleel bhai. He was a jolly, ever-smiling guy who never said a word extra to any children in the absence of their parents. He was just as pleasant as necessary, and I loved that about him.

And then we saw it.

A fat, patterned snake was slithering under some long, curly mango leaves on the ground. I fell in love with the pattern instantly—a glossy black stripe followed by a stripe as yellow as the insides of a kathgolap. It wasn’t moving towards Ammu at all, it was minding its own business, slithering away. I didn’t see its eyes, but could figure out where the head and the tail was. The snake, slick with rain, was just busy rummaging under the leaves for any mice or mole, perhaps.

Ammu finally found some strength in her voice. “JOLEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL”

The Mess was nearby, so this time, there was a, “Jee khalamma!” as a reply. Joleel bhai had heard it, and probably had sensed it too. He brought a few other men with him. With sticks, of course.

The snake was a Shonkhochur. Their kind move around in pairs. So the one that died that night, under the mango tree, would have a mate lurking somewhere, ready to strike. We met the black and yellow mate too, but not before it was time to leave.

I became fascinated by the only thing that my mother was scared of, the Shongkhochur snake. I opened my drawing book one day and took some colour pencils in hand. With the pencil for writing I brought the snake’s silhouette alive in my copy, complete with the inflated head, the “fona”. I then proceeded to draw stripes. Then I was finally ready to colour it in. One black, one yellow, one black and one yellow. I realized that I had drawn a tongue too, a divided one, the type I had only seen on TV. I decided to use red for the tongue, after the colour of my own.

I tore the drawing out of the copy, and brought myself some scotch tape. I stuck four corners of it to the paper to the wall with four pieces of tape. Finally something that my mother was scared of. Finally something to make her stop when she’s blind with rage, and charging at me in full speed to hit me or taunt me.

Finally something to ward off evil.

A Shongkhochur, by the way, is a King Cobra.

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eightbowlsofspaghetti · 5 years

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things you’ll find funny if you’re jewish

i just found out that two of my favorite bnha bloggers are also fellow jews and you know what? i fucking deserve this. hannukah is right around the corner but i’m already getting gifts.

- christianity is just judaism 2.0 and islam is judaism 3.0

- we can make holacaust jokes that aren’t offensive because the only jokes that are actually funny are ones that call hitler a “stupid fucking mustache cunt” not like the assholes who make oven jokes and shit

- the meme that is a bar/bat mitzvah

- none of us knew what we were doing during our bar/bat mitzvahs

- also shoutout to all the trans jewish kids who got misgendered on their bar/bat mitzvah (“bar mitzvah” is for guys, “bat mitzvah” is for girls, and “benei mitzvah” is for twins)

- reformed vs orthodox vs conservative judaism

- i am a reformed jew and lemme tell you

- it is fucking great

- its basically like being a jew except kosher is a bit less important so i can eat pepperoni pizza and homophobia is irrelevant

- you either grew up as the only jewish kid in your town or half your town was jewish there is no in between

- if half your town was jewish, then you know the pain of THE FUCKING BAT OR BAR MITZVAH SWEATERS

- once during hebrew school my rabbi was explaining why gays were good and he told us to sit there and pretend like we were having sex with the gender we weren’t attracted to in order to help us understand the pain of jewish gays from hundreds of years ago but my bi ass just sat there like. bish what do i do.

- you either love or hate your rabbi

- this mostly depends on whether or not they’re a homphobe

- fun fact: there is a letter in the jewish alphabet that makes the sound that a garbage disposal makes. im not joking. look up “how to pronounce the jewish letter chai”

- once again reformed judaism is great because you dont even have to believe in god you can still be jewish and believe in evolution and science you just gotta do most of the things that you’re supposed to do

- egg challah is 10x better than bland ass normal challah

- is it just me or do all jewish people love potatoes? idk this is just a personal observation

- when your fucking sibling gets all the fucking gelt during a dreidel game

#jewish #jew tag #judaism

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ramblingshit · 5 years

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The Uninvited - 1944 - 5/10

long ass exposition voice over - beautiful ominous scenery, craggy cliffs, white water frothing against dark rocks,

tall large bricked house with vines climbing up the walls, doorways twice the height of people; smart funny concise script with light-hearted orchestral music to match, large columns, clear crystal chandeliers, large curve staircase; that one locked door; open fire by the bath; brother and sister couple who act authentically like siblings, loving and reassuring and taking care of each other ; large open white and naturally lit house on the edge of a dangerous cliff which has a dead tree at its edge.the creepy house always has an old name. house rumoured to be haunted but the idea is shrugged off and laughed at. damn nice transitions and cuts. creepy and ugly room cold and damp and fills them with doubt and depressive thoughts and flowers wilt. there's always a dog barking at things. being black and white they have an awesome eye for contrast and tone. acting is eyyyyyy. okay they tried to edit together two parts of the same conversation and it was ew. ohh theres another one. omg this shit is so good - the little bits and pieces making the characters real and relateable and funny. suddenly flickering candles. the sound of a woman's heartbroken crying echoing around the house, coming from nowhere but sounding from everywhere and it stops at dawn. doors closing by themselves. ol mate jumped and hid under his sheets lolol. men interrupting girls and calling them delicate and needing to calm themselves. damn refusing ol mate to see his grandaughter - this doesn't mean we are of equal social standing like lol what an ass - 'Great Scott!!' secret meetings with the granddaughter ooohwerrooooh. ol mates all lovey with this 20 year old lass. 'golly!' using these terms completely unironically amazing. 'they're hardly our sort'. ol ol mate knows the house is haunted but won't admit it. 'go to your room!' 'don't be impertinent'. vases taller than a person and flowers and bouquet just as tall. fuck that dress is gorgeous but i don't trust this granddaughter she was so mad at the start looked like she had decided on something and now all of the sudden she's buddy buddy? yeaaaaaah alriiiightt. this chicks twenty what twenty year old is actually this mature and wellspoken. he just stares smilingly at her enamoured with just listening and watching her talk. man at the piano, beautiful young girl listening to him, three candles in a candlestick on the piano. he literally seems old enough to be her dad, but he's goofy and excitable oooooh the candles went down and he started being sad and she noticed and wasn't affected? she's fleeing!! sprinting out to THE CLIFF IN HER WHITE DRESS HOLY SHIT he caught her at the last moment she didn't even realise she was doing it - right at the place where her mother fell by the dead tree, and now they make jokes and are singing to lighten the mood NEVERMIND a lady is SCREAAAAMING oh shit it was Lizzie - the studio is fucked up making people depressed and there was a creepy mist or some shit by the door now she says it was the ghost of a woman - gets one fright and lizzie is like lmao bye im not staying here - fkn smart lady - Stella is MIA. nope she's collapsed, is she dead 'stella, darling' she looks so dramatic in her long white dress - bish faints and they're spoonfeeding her soup and keeping her bedridden and not wanting to risk moving her. oooHoooo the great scary tale of the house comes out, everyones dying off in the house with their secrets, there's the strange smell of flowersss and lightss creepin about stellas gone out the window lol oh no she's creeping out behing the curtains. its very dark. she's convinced her mother is haunting the house, she sounds and looks mad lmao i still do not trust this bitch. he's declaring his love and she's tryna talk about her mother's ghost and how she wants to go to the house and he's like nah you're never getting back imma tear it down - 'i hate you for that!' 'oh stella' an they kiss??? ah no he kisses her and she's like fuck off and runs away and he's actually CONFUSED? moron lolol out here expecting her to want to marry him and him be her life and she's out here with her own problems wanting to go and do things and see her mum like mate stoppp they've known each other like a few weeks and he's out here tryna tell her what she can and can't do who he think he be?? she's not listening to me - she's on the edge of a mental collapse! ohhhh the faked seance is realllll damn sonnn oh wtf she's possessed the doctors all for it what a mate she's speaking in a language she doesn't knowwww ey mate spanish and the scent is back. is she maybe the spanish lady's baby and not the woman she thought? ooooooh spooky mist they're trapped in the dark cold room oh yikes its got a scary face grandad just showed up lmao she's spending half the movie in bed and the granddad is a fkn asshole stupid ass prick - he killed his daughter maybs? whos miss holloway all fancy n shit shit they drugged stella what this bitch what are these two up to. they're kidnapping her? dumping her off at holloways' house - she has secretsss; was friends with stella's mum. the mystery in this is really good and interesting. oh fuck miss holloway was a trained nurse and watched mary mereidith go over the cliff (stella's mum) they mentioned blonde hair, and holloway and stella have dark hair - important?? i'm getting very into this lolol. "Why are you whispering?" "Why are you?" the music is awesome to express thoughts and actions. an eccentric older lady with bows and scarves and a basket full of eggs "miss bird' i love her immediately wait its a basket of stones. i love her. holloway loves the stones and miss bird cute. she's a psychologist? a very successful psychologist with a big beautiful house and she's definitely a fucking lesbian mate she loves mary meredith. they hate spanish women in these movies. oh shit the spanish lady was gonna yeet the baby stella over the cliff that's hilarious. certainly don't trust this chicka either. she literally has an enormous picture of mary in her office between two bouquets of flowers taller than they are. she started a sentence and caught herself - secretssssss. god their dresses are next level gorgeous. so holloways house is actually an asylum and she's trapped. holloway hates stella and stella confronted her about it and she didn't deny it - she's glad stella's chucked in. wtf lady went to the doctor cause she thought her baby was delirious cause he was laughing lolol what the actual fuck it's a baby. miss holloway murdered carmel!!! they are so chill about it. shit's pretty dull. the book just turned pages - they smell the flowers again. what IS she up to - fkn holloway's eyes are in shadow while stella's face is completely brightened. wtf is she UP TO. damn that door is gorgeous - arched and a head an a half and with six squares of incredible carvings in the wood. she's too happy about all this. about sending stella to the house - to the 'cliff and the rocks below the cliff! that's where mary went, that's where she died' she's cray cray. 'i've done what she wanted at last - haven't i mary, it's all straight now.' mate how did she go from being suss to being mental. they didn't lock their front door??? 'i'll be alright now - i'll be with my friends! :)' okay she's not evil? she's actually excited and cute about being allowed to stay in the house. she's all alone - whtfuck there's a man snoring/groaning? someone calling her name - in the studio! its gdad. whats he doin here. her voice is so musical and soft and smooth and breathy - these women man. teh ghost is pretty cool - i think the sight of it just killed him tho. oh shit ahaha she screm and flee. toward the cliff!!!! over she go!!!!!a a lot of people saying 'darling'. he's so enamoured with her and she doesn't give a shit ahahah. now she thinks shes cray- nevermind the smell is back and the doors just flung open. broke her arm twice in a year? CARMEL HAD A BABY TOO. SHE's for SURE carmel's baby!!! I told you!!! stellas chill with it. carmel's laughing instead of crying and then she's all good the ghost has been freed ---- nevermind. Rick's seen something and shut the door - mary meredith is cray?? she has icy rage - she wants Stella! creepy gaunt face with white scarf flappin in wind and no body or legs - she was gonna kill the kid if she couldn't have it herself. rick's being mean to the angry ghost. lol he threw lit candlestick at her? ew wtf the sister is getting with the old barely a character doctor? and now he's expecting yet again that stella is all for marrying him jfc. alright its over start was much better than end yikes.

#the uninvited #1944 #movie #movies #horror #review #commentary #ramble #shit #rambling shit #ray milland #gail russell #ruth hussey

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akria23 · 6 years

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Y'all remember

When a few of us said we wanted Sam to be evicted so her power would be activated and most of y'all were complaining that we were Steve lovers and that Sam would never be so stupid as to use it on the Maga team?

Y'all remember that?

Now look where we're at fam...

Our team finally got their shit semi together, they got their ducks in a row, this is a good week for them and us...

And now y'all's hick queen is out here setting for the fuck up.

She's willing to use herself or Kaitlyn (which will save both bros)...leaving our first great mover Scottie in danger, wasting his HOH and making our team once again look like fools.

This who y'all were dissing us for.

If she wanted some control over her power she should've just saved fucking Swaggy 😒. Someone who put in way more work than both bros ever did.

She walking around here not wanting to use it on bullies 👀so explain to me why you're so willing to use it Kaitlyn after her treatment of Chris sis...?

We told y'all we were gonna end up getting the short end of the stick, that this shit would end up with egg on our faces, but no y'all didn't just want ha ass to stay y'all said she had to stay with her power - y'all actually rejoiced. We knew she was going to be team MAGA and yet, this what y'all wanted and this is what we got...

I'm being petty reminding y'all of y'all antics but since it's come down to trusting our team to know to win that Veto..I don't care. Our team ain't smart enough for this yet. They always think they got their bases covered and forget to never count on anyone else for what they themselves can and must do. If it is beneficial to your game that the noms stay the same - then go in there and get the fckkng Veto don't assume everyone would leave noms the fucking same. Def when you've been betrayed time and time again. Always be suspicious of someone who is willing to put themselves up on the block for you 😒 def when there's power in the house and it's evident she has one.

Our team aren't the brightest bulbs in the BB house. They have more heart than brain. Their enemies are nice to them and they think the bish wants to be besties. They set a plan and people go along they think everything is cool, because a number of them take face value. They're too honest and too free with their opinion anytime they feel good or bad. They're like the kid who never had anything who gets something good and becomes complacent and feels safe in that moment. That's not how it works, you have to be vigilant, you've gone out there and got it but that just means you have to work damn harder to keep it.

They're kinda dumb and way too trusting but they're still my team and I'm tired of them being in this damn corner! The only hope is one of them winning the Veto, but the chips are already kind stacked - you have two Maga members up already and if either one gets to pick that's another Maga - they could also both pull Maga memebers cause there's so damn many now. Hell all there could pull Maga memebers 😩. So our only hope is the pulling/pick of our members. It won't be enough if it's just Scottie and Fessy because Fessy doesn't seem to understand that you never assume when it comes to Veto I hate all the chancing. So once again I'm back to depending on a Veto and that the damn thing won't be used...but we all saw how that shit went last time.

#bbus #bb20

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stardust-revengers · 6 years

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You should do like hcs for making cookies with Harrison

I should….

-Harrison would be like that one kid in pe who acts like it’s the Olympics -except baking wise-he’d totally be like -“NO Y/N IT SAYS 2 TEASPOONS not tablespoons”-“more sugar the better”-“…I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that”-food fight-flour fights -haz being a dig trying to crack and egg yet breaking is and slipping on the mess-“nice I’m so proud”-“shut up and pass me the rag”-“hear*throws it*-“BISH”-he’d be so happy while making them like all skippy in every step he takes-he’d say what he is doing out loud like he’s on a cooking show-“and now I’m going to carefully add the baking soda”-“Harrison who are talking to”-“my audience”-when he turns on the blender and you guys are yelling at each other while talking like -“can I clench now?”-“WHAT”-“I said can I mix now”-“Y/N I CANT HEAR YOU”-“HARRISON TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF”-“WHAAAT”-putting the cookies on the sheet and haz getting OCD about the size of each cookie -“no that one is just a tad bigger add batter the to the next to it”-“haz it’s fine it’s just a cookie”-“I’m getting ocd I’m gonna cry”-putting it in the oven and forgetting to turn it on so having to wait while he gets impatient -“ughhhhhh I just want to eat them can I eat the dough”-“Harrison no”-“fine,,,,”-he’d sneak a bite or two of cookie dough behind your back from the leftover batter -while waiting for the cookies he’d eat all the cookie dough -“HARRISON”-“I GOT HUNGRY”-and finally a mistake we all make -Harrison opening the oven without looking away and getting all the steam all up in your face -“AH”-“STUPID”-“MY HAIR, I CANT BREATH*COUGHCOUGH*-“I live with a div”

💞💞💞

#2k + 2.1k celebration #Harrison osterfield x reader #Harrison osterfield x you #Harrison osterfield x y/n #harrison osterfield #Harrison osterfield imagines #m’s writing

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chaptersofkalani-blog · 6 years

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CHAPTER 5

“Are you fucking serious right now!?”

Amana would shout turning to Kalani with a look of pure anger, right before slapping her hard across the cheek she had previously kissed before jumping up. “You’re cheating on me?! With some…” stopping to look back at Katianna who looked back at her with a mortified face “Big-eyed, bun wearing, child?! So much for waiting for me!!” Amana spat, grabbing her coat and quickly redressing.

Kalani stayed silent for a moment, cupping her cheek as it flared with pain. “Get out.” she would finally say.

“Excuse the fuck out of you?! Amana whipped around to glare at Kalani "I come over here to apologize and make things right, but YOU’VE been shacking up with some girl behind my back! She has a key no less! You know what I’m glad I haven’t left Ramon for you! You’re a joke, with no real job and you’ve gone from a house to this SHIT HOLE!” clapping her hands for emphasis “You wanna what you are to me Kalani, a personal…face pillow for me to sit my pussy on. Now you know…happy?” smirking at herself as she continued to jab at Kalani who at this point was quaking with rage, doing her best to contain it. Vivid images raced through her head of grabbing Amana by her hair and repeatedly slamming her face into the floorboards. Kalani wasn’t a violent person unless taken there and

Amana was taking it there to infinity and beyond. Two years of this was really nothing but a game that Amana admitted to. She didn’t love Kalani, she didn’t want to be with her, and she sure as hell wasn’t looking to leave Ramon for her or anyone else.

Kalani chewed at the inside of her cheek letting the truth soak in. Somewhere deep inside she knew everything had been a lie. A play of pretend. She sucked in a shaky breath while lowering her head to compose herself, clawing her fingers through her dark hair. Shit and Kat was here, having completely forgotten about her. “She must think I’m pretty pathetic too… After almost a month and she’s calling me her bff, I guess everyone pities me…”

She snapped from her thoughts as Amana screamed, looking up she’d see her scowling down at her coat in disgust, that was now covered in egg yolk?

“You leave Nini alone!” Kat shouted armed with a box of eggs she had grabbed from the grocery bag. “You are a horrible person, and here I thought you were Nini’s girlfriend or..or at least a romantic interest. But you’re just a mean BITCH!” throwing another egg that nailed Amana right in the chest.

“What the fuck are you a child?!” Amana howled trying to dodge more incoming eggs that either nailed her, the floor or couch.

“SO!?” Katiana countered “What if I am I’d rather be a child then a devious bitch, unlike you people actually like children! Get out! Or the next thing I’m throwing is my hands in your face! Don’t come back ever cunt waffle!” nearly unloading the whole carton of eggs.

“Ugh fuck you Kalani, fuck your friend, lose my god damn number.” swatting at the flying assault of eggs as she made a beeline for the door tripping on her way out.

“I wouldn’t wanna fuck you even if I was into girls!!!” Kat shouted, chucking the last egg out the door at Amana before slamming it shut. “Ooooh!!!” she’d growl stomping her feet in place as she ranted “Grr stupid cunty cunt waffle, bish face, needle nose…-” stopping to look at Kalani who was staring back with bewilderment. They stared at each other in silence, Kat being the first to break it

“….She started it…” jutting out her lower lip feigning a pout. “He…..he…ha…HAHAHA.” Kalani fell back bursting into laughter, tears clouding her vision as she continued to laugh uncontrollably, clutching at her side.

“Di…Did you really assault…haha…her with eggs?!” she wheezed. Katianna giggled along, setting the empty carton on the end table as she passed it, taking a seat beside Kalani who was slowly coming down from her laughing high

“Yup and I’d do it again too!…But with better aim….Uhm….I’m sorry I wasn’t sure what to do…But she was being so mean and nasty to you, I just couldn’t stand there and do nothing…..I mean I know you woulda handled it but…I just…-” Katiana sighed “You don’t deserve someone to be treated like that nini…You’re really awesome and funny…Oh! And cool you…and you’re like my bestest best friend so..of course I’m gonna protect you…err I’m rambling…sorry uuuh…I’ll clean up the mess…or even get you a new couch!” her earnest expression causing Kalani to smile, she mentally kicked herself for ever thinking someone like Kat would be around anyone out of just pity. She was genuine, kind-hearted, beautiful…Wait what?

Katiana tilted her head “You’re not mad at me are you?” she would question, followed by a yelp of surprised from Kalani hugging her unexpectedly. “Nah, it’s just furniture… If anything you saved me from a bad habit…Can always replace the couch later…can’t replace sanity..”

“Yeeeah that’s true, but it’s gonna get stinky soon if we don’t clean it now…”

Kalani yawned “In a minute…Just hug me please.” emotionally exhausted for the day.

Katiana beamed “Of course nini, huggies!! Hmmm, nap then clean?” she would ask returning the hug happily with a squeeze. “Mhmm~” a few minutes passed before the two were asleep on the cleaner side of the couch.

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