Falling into Temptation: IV: Discovery
"In the garden of Eden, where butterflies danced in the springtime of our souls, secrets become thorns, and sin, like an adulterer whispered in the confessional, now faces the inevitable revelation of hidden shadows."
Escaping now was something common in his days, leaving a little earlier, taking a late lunch at work. Christian could say that he spends a lot of time at Toto's apartment and although he would like to spend the nights there, they know that it is something they can't... not yet.
But there was something Christian could do when he couldn't stay, it was take Toto's shirts, he delicately chose the most common ones, Toto has always been bluish tones, so those are the ones that Christian chooses the most.
Toto rarely wears a dark tone, but when he wears them he looks beautiful, he looks like a beautiful sculpted prince and so unattainable, in fact, at this moment he looked like this, Christian looked at him spellbound, blue sneakers the same tone as the shirt, a white pants and a dark blue shirt that made his skin stand out and fit so well. Toto was standing reviewing some reports before giving the go-ahead to his work team, then they would go out, sometimes they liked to take walks in the park that was near Toto's apartment.
He doesn't know if he was looking at him too much, but Toto felt his gaze.
"What's going on?" He said still looking at the documents.
"Nothing, I'm just looking at you" he responded with his chin resting on his hand. "You look so good like this"
Toto made a half smile and looked up, Christian was on the couch with his usual pose of one leg resting on the other, they both smiled at each other, it felt domestic.
"Oh yeah?" Toto said, moving his attention away from the documents and approaching
"Yes, blue looks good on you... I like it" answered the youngest.
"I know, maybe because some of my shirts suddenly disappear" he said while facing the other.
Christian gave a small giggle and Toto smiled.
"I like it a lot," Christian whispered, knowing that he had a slight blush on his cheeks but he didn't care.
Then Toto put a knee next to the other's leg, almost making the gesture of sitting on him, placed a hand on his neck and placed his lips against Christian's.
Now it was so common for them to flirt with so few things, they loved to express their admiration for each other more in minimal things, in compliments.
When they separated they both smiled
"Brown" said Toto.
"what?" Christian asked.
"Brown is your color," continued Toto, "when you usually go riding andin the usa those tones in your clothes usually highlight your skin and your eyes, even when you go to the paddock and wear a brown jacket, due to its tone it can be combined with different palettes..." he left a small kiss again and then added " Although considering how you look with your Red Bull suit, blue and black also suit you well."
Christian felt himself blush and Toto laughed softly and left him another kiss, walking away from him and returning to the documents.
And Toto is like that, he pays attention to every detail, and is always in charge of praising every quality, aspect or whatever, ever since Christian shared stories about him, about his selfesteem, he seems to protect him.
~~~~
There are times when certain decisions that you don't want to make or are afraid to make are often ignored until there is nothing left to do.
It seems that both Christian and Toto were in that line, they knew that there was a decision to make but they ignored it, they focused on each other.
Although sometimes the conversation would arise, suddenly one of the two was impatient for a decision and then the other didn't know what to do. Sometimes Christian, sometimes Toto.
After a moment in silence, they both reconciled with a sweet hug, one of protection, sometimes they felt like the storm was coming at any moment.
~~~~
In fact the storm was only brewing as a natural disaster, like a tropical storm or hurricane. They hadn't noticed anything because the shadows hadn't come to life, they were just in the dark.
Geri remembers the first time she found a shirt that wasn't her husband's size in his closet. Of course it seemed strange to her, but the shirt was delicately kept at the back of everything, almost hidden.
She felt a strange current run through her body, but she shrugged it off, in the end she gave herself an excuse before asking her husband something.
The funny thing is, even on Grand Prix weekends, Christian had one of those shirts there. It seemed to be….usual.
~~~~
He generally wore those shirts to sleep, when his wife was not around or he simply wore them to work and put on a sweater over them.
He used to give Toto his shirts back when they spent the night, sometimes he chose to wear another shirt, sometimes he didn't.
~~~~
She didn't touch the shirts...not at first, she just knew she'd find a different one in the closet. As she well knows, fear screams and intuition whispers, she does not know in what tone her thought was speaking, she only knows that it was saying something, something that she was trying to ignore.
Sometimes the mind can be your biggest enemy and you have to fight with the thoughts it gives you because they are wrong, it's just fear speaking.
However, the setting and the actions staged, he was beginning to feel someone's shadow like the presence of a person and he did not like that.
~~~~
Not that it was common for Toto was in Brackley, because he alternated his days with Monaco. However, they both knew each other's free time.
As always, the meetings were similar to those in the paddock, meeting, talking, sleeping or simply suddenly there was a call with too much heat between them that made them want to eat each other fiercely.
On other occasions, that fire could appear in the middle of an outing.
They felt like teenagers, but it was so hot that they liked to do it from time to time and that was something they didn't expect.
When Christian first got into a Mercedes, a Mercedes driven by Toto Wolff.
And there Christian understood why that man was the personification of the brand whose Formula 1 team he owned, he saw him drive, with such class, elegance, he confirmed something that in a way he already knew, Toto is as Mercedes as Mercedes is Toto. ...and sometimes the gestures spoke so much for him, in the middle of the road a very territorial hand would rest on Christian's leg and look for his hand only to leave a small caress and then return to the helm.
Just that gesture, feeling the hand go down his leg, made Christian bite his lower lip subtly with a half smile... because Toto can sometimes be territorial and he likes it.
Then on one of those occasions, while they were on the road, Christian took Toto's hand and slowly held it on his leg, reaching further.
Toto smiled and kept his hand there willingly only moving it away when necessary, then the hand would return and sometimes go deeper. Christian closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
The caresses became more insistent on the youngest's thighs, touching points that Toto already knew quite well... that he generally liked to bite and leave his mark there.
"Should I stop or do you want to get somewhere more private?" He said and his tone of voice sounded deeper.
Christian smiled, he already knew, Toto was impatient now.
"What does Mr. Mercedes decide?" He said looking at him hungrily.
He doesn't even know where they stopped the car, but they did. Toto turned off the road onto a path that led to some pretty earthly views.
That's the little he remembers, since from one moment to the next he was on Toto, with a hungry kiss, a war of tongues and a bite.
Soon after, Christian was rising and falling, moaning softly, while Toto's hands remained on his hips, squeezing hard.
If you had been told years ago that you would be in this situation, having sex in a Mercedes and even more so with whom, you would have laughed thinking that it was a silly and absurd idea.
But here he is, melting in Toto Wolff's arms, moaning his name on her trembling legs and wishing it would never end.
Arrive a point at which, Christian bit Toto's shoulder so hard that he left one of his marks.
After that first time, they did it a few more times, even on Grand Prix weekends... lending a car just for that.
~~~~~
She hadn't realized that her husband's shirts were disappearing until he sometimes looked for a specific shirt but didn't get upset if he couldn't find it.
Susie wasn't a controlling woman, it's not like she doesn't care what Toto does, it's more the trust placed in him.
However, in all the years dedicated to Formula One, at least once a piece of clothing could be forgotten, a sweater, a towel... but how often? That was... something peculiar.
At first she put it down to the mere stress of the season, the need to do his job well had prompted her husband to be more dedicated to the team, more so if that meant spending more time in Brackley.
The first few times she didn't feel anything, she is a woman who uses reasoning and logic to find an explanation for things easily.
Although I probably wouldn't find any explanation over time.
~~~~~
Christian liked that Toto marked him even if it was controlling his strength.
He did it, yes, he had the self-control not to bite and leave marks all over Christian's body because he knew it couldn't be done. However, there was one place where he couldn't help himself.
Toto loved to bite on his thighs, a path of kisses, hickeys and then bites that burn more when he is eating Christian and he simply wraps his legs around Toto's head.
Christian's way of marking used to be different, when Toto was already on him, everything was based on the scratches on the other's back and his usual bite on the shoulder.
~~~~
She noticed something unusual when she realized that the shirtsthey disappeared maybe on specific days... and also in specific colors.
Although there was one more curiosity, as well as the shirtsthey disappeared appeared again and at least that gave Susie a rational explanation for Toto not looking for her clothes properly, although at the same time a strange explanation considering that her husband is quite tidy with his clothes.
Even when he is in Brackley she knows that all his clothes are meticulously chosen and organized, although sometimes it seems that he takes extra clothes on his trips.
Then perhaps in the distance of his thoughts the shadow of a person was forming in his mind, a thought that in any case becomes inevitable when strange actions begin to appear.
~~~~
The first time Toto saw Christian wearing one of his shirts was when he was entering the paddock, it was very early the fans weren't arriving yet so they could still move freely until there was an avalanche of people.
Toto, with his usual sunglasses, looked at him in the distance, lowered his glasses a little to check the color of the shirt, he had noticed that it was a little too big for him.
He felt satisfied, it was like a way of knowing that Christian is his, that he belongs to him and he liked the thought.
He approached, Christian was talking with other colleagues, they greeted each other normally, they knew how to act in those situations, but hints of flirtation always appeared.
"Blue looks good on you" Toto said smiling.
"Obviously, you know Red Bull has blue... but it is generally a neutral color and in different shades" mentioned the other
"You like using those shades, don't you?" Djjo
"Of course every time I have the opportunity I will do it, in fact I think I will buy another shirt soon" he said with a wink.
They both smiled, sometimes it was fun to know that they were playing on a fine line, because only they knew what they were talking about, what encrypted messages there were.
~~~~
Geri had not realized that Christian was wearing those shirts until one day she saw the closet again; she had already developed a paranoid habit of searching the closet.
Until one day he couldn't find the shirt or shirts, because suddenly they had started to vary between one or two.
And it was a different occasion, there was no sign of a shirt around and for a moment he felt relief.
She showed her mind that creating ideas or assumptions from something seen was not okay, even more so if she has never asked her husband anything.
But the strange chill would return to her when Christian returned from a grand prix, the shirt he was wearing was... one of those shirts.
She stood still with her arms crossed, watching as her husband greeted their children and pets, he approached her and left a kiss on her cheek, when Geri sought a kiss on her lips.
She felt him avoid her and the cherry on this dessert culminated, when she felt a different aroma on her husband, it was like the mixture of two perfumes, hers and someone else's.
She felt his hands cold and a tightness in her chest, she was breathing hard, because her mind was being invaded with assumptions that were probably taking the form of a person.
That's when she decided that she would touch one of those shirts sometime, that she would smell the aroma, although she didn't know exactly what use it would do other than just hurt her.
~~~~
Susie fueled her doubts when there was a blood stain on one of her husband's shirts, it was faint, it was on the shoulder of the shirt. It was strange because it's not like Toto would have had an accident... which she would know.
The thing is... those stains appeared on different shirts and they were always sometimes on the collar sometimes on the shoulder.
And there could be a million reasons why there's a stain there, but connecting Toto's unusual actions, it's inevitable to think about the presence of a third wheel in this situation.
~~~~
When thoughts take over you considerably, you begin to review the past, the present and the future...the how?, when?, and above all, something that Geri wondered was why?
She remembers seeing Christian quite stressed, there were nights when she heard him crying in the bathroom and she just didn't understand why.
Your husband was at a successful stage in his career so why this stress? Why that feeling that he was dying for something? In the present I already understood why, longing for someone you couldn't be with could be torture. But nowadays Geri could tell that Christian no longer longed for that person, rather he already had her.
She didn't want to face it yet, because they were just vague thoughts, crazy ideas that came to her mind in trying to explain her husband's behavior.
~~~~~
Susie could say what, when your perspective changes that's when normal days become cloudy, rainy.
When doubt is planted, it is very difficult to root it out. What is even worse is when you cannot tell anyone about it, it is like a poison that begins to spread throughout your head.
Maybe Toto's behavior had changed a while ago and she hadn't realized it.
Like when she saw him drinking too much, he seemed lost in his mind. She remembers asking him what was happening, if perhaps it was because of some stress issue with Mercedes, although they were getting better every day, he had just looked up and those penetrating eyes seemed annoyed at having been interrupted.
However, he gently told her that nothing was wrong, taking another sip of his drink and returning his gaze to his computer.
She felt chills, Toto rarely had those kinds of looks.
At that time she took it as something due to stress, currently she no longer knows whether to take it that way.
~~~~
Christian's hand went up and down on Toto's back, they had reunited after a few days in which they had not been able to see each other, there were obstacles.
Bycoincidences, their wives had been present at the most recent Grands Prix, and for a change they had had a lot of work developing their cars.
it is Needless to say, when they met they couldn't keep their hands off each other, so much time in abstinence had consumed and irritated them.
They needed to see each other, even if it meant taking time for themselves, for their bubble, for their garden.
The garden was still in spring, they felt that they had everything under control, which is why they felt calm.
Christian raised his hand to her shoulder, feeling the mark of his most recent bite.
"Oops, I think I overdid it" he said, tapping lightly.
Toto sighed "You haven't cared about the previous times, my love."
Christian smiled "I hadn't imagined how deep they were."
"It's only been a few times..." Toto mentioned trying to sound like a complaint but he sounded pleased "although I prefer that you do it... because I don't care."would control"
"In what sense?" He said closing his eyes, because Toto began to leave kisses on his neck.
"Because it would mark you completely all over your body," he said, gently biting the minor's ear, making himsighed gently.
"Will you show me where?" askedleaving carried away by the sensation of the other's lips.
Toto positioned himself over him, kissed his lips, his neck, down to his chest then licked and sucked each of his nipples, making them rigid and continued going down slowly listening to how soft he was moaning.taking out the other.
~~~~
Sometimes we can make decisions that can take a very painful toll on us, even more so when you have suspicions about a threat stalking your relationship.
Geri one day decided to test her husband's behavior, she prepared a dinner, she dressed beautifully for him. I was planning a romantic evening.
~~~~~
When Christian arrived he found a very decorated dinner and his wife looked beautiful, in her white outfit with some gold accessories thatthey stood out.
Christian smiled kindly, "what's the reason for this?" He said looking at everything.
"I just wanted to surprise you, I think we need some time for ourselves" she said.
The dinner went well and despite things, Christian always talked about work and other things with Geri.
~~~~
For a moment she thought that everything was fine, the dinner was going normally and Christian seemed like the old Christian to her.
Talking about work, showing their affection for their pilots, they also talked about their children, about upcoming events.
Then just for a moment the doubts dissipated and she attributed all those thoughts to her husband's behavior coming from some stress.
And that those shirts were probably just new sizes that he was wearing, for a moment everything fit, everything had an explanation.
Just for a while.
~~~~~
Unfortunately that tranquility dissipated in the blink of an eye, Geri wanted to end the night in a more romantic way.
Christian no.
When they got to the room she pulled him and kissed him.
Christian took a long time to reciprocate, he froze since he hadn't done this with her in a while.
The last few times were when he was still dealing with his feelings with Toto over the winter break.
Christian kept his eyes open and felt them moisten, he felt his lips tremble as she had her eyes closed and continued the kiss.
~~~~
She felt that everything was fine, when she separated from him, she smiled softly and took his hand to guide him to the bed.
He smiled softly at her, followed her, sat him down on the bed and she climbed onto his lap.
~~~~
Christian didn't really know what he was doing and didn't know how to move, she started kissing his neck, he felt uncomfortable. He sighed more, however, it was not from pleasure, it was from anxiety.
"Geri..." he said softly.
She hummed, holding onto his neck.
"Geri...stop" he said taking his wife's arm.
~~~~
She pulled away and looked at him with confusion and fear deep inside.
"What's going on?" He asked, staying calm.
"I can't..." he said, looking nervous.
"Because?" She said and the thoughts came back...the tranquility of dinner was over.
He swallowed, licked his lips and said "I feel tired."
"But this might relax you..."she prompted and gave him another more eager kiss and tried to start unbuttoning his shirt.
~~~~
Christian began to feel desperate, even more so when he felt his wife's hands, eager to want something more.
"Geri" he said softly taking her hands.
She pushed Christian's hands away, she didn't let him touch her.
"Geri..." I repeat once again
"Geraldine" he said with a stronger tone of voice.
Then he took her by both arms and pulled her away from him.
She looked at him surprised.
"I don't want to" he said looking at her.
~~~~
She could tell that at that moment she saw him as a scared puppy, forced to do something he didn't want to do, then she took a good look at her husband's outfit and realized that he was wearing one of those shirts... and suddenly the fear went back.
He moved away and sat next to her on the bed, they stayed like that for a long time or maybe it was a short time, he doesn't know.
There was only their breathing... then she felt how he placed a hand on her leg and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice shaking, and he moved away from her.
She felt her eyes moisten, and when she closed her eyes, tears were running down her cheeks.
~~~~~
Geri wasn't the only one crying that night, Christian had gone to one of the guest rooms, locking himself in the bathroom andhad cried.
Yes, part of it was because he had rejected his wife and that in a way was a blow to him, because he was hurting her directly and now he really felt like he was doing it.
On the other hand, he felt uncomfortable, uncomfortable with her touching him, because his body was already accustomed to other hands, other lips, another force. His body only wanted Toto now.
~~~~
And if we talk about lack of privacy, Toto was not far behind in that situation. Yes, he looked at Susie with love, with affection.
Even though he knew he was disrespecting her, with what he was doing, with her heart belonging to someone else.
I tried to compensate for all that, spending time with her, talking to her, listening to her about things about work or things about her life.
It was an attempt to reward things they had been missing. He was making a transition from seeing his wife only as a friend, not as something more, something he once desired, loved and cared for.
Now he loves her, but not in the same way and he also takes care of her.
~~~~
Susie had noticed it of course, the lack of intimacy she attributed to stress, because for her everything fit even more with the rhythm that Mercedes was following, they had been poor as a team for a while. But after Lewis' first victory they had started to improve, they were back in the game.
She understood her husband and accompanied him, on the other hand she was also dealing with her job and the new category she managed, so everything was normal.
It was normal until the perspective of her thoughts changed, when she felt the figure of a third person. He began to notice more.
Toto avoided his kisses, and they were limited to his cheek or forehead.
The look of affection was there, but now there was a different atmosphere. And she refused to accept it... she refused to let those thoughts cross.
She always explained things to herself, she always looked in the mirror at home and told herself that it wasn't like that... those thoughts weren't like that.
~~~~
The first rejection he experiencedvividly It was at an event, it was a private family event.
For the ironies of life, it was a wedding. An event that should be about love and affection, happiness, the beginning of a happy story.
For her it had been a moment where somehow her world began to crack. In the romantic atmosphere, the music sounded faint, he had been away for a while, he was talking on the phone, and she looked at him in the background.
He usually didn't answer calls at events like this, unless it was an emergency or an important decision with his team.
But it didn't seem like a call of that kind, not when she saw him smile in a way... that he only did when he was flirting, when it was someone he was interested in, like when he once did it with her.
He shuddered and felt that the romantic atmosphere of a wedding contrasting with his situation made everything more suffocating.
But she had the courage to push her thoughts away, she got up from the table and went to look for him, he had just hung up.
"Hello" he said
"Hello," she said, "you took too long, something happened."
"No, nothing happened," he said softly.
Then she approached with the intention of seeking his lips, but he only limited himself to her cheek, gave her a half hug and told her "let's go back to the party."
She accompanied him but felt the rejection, it hurt her.
~~~~
Christian had left many messages, he hadn't wanted to call so as not to worry Toto, but he still did.
I wanted to see him in the morning, which they generally didn't do, but it seemed such an urgency that they did it.
When they met Toto became more worried, Christian's eyes were a little swollen... he had been crying.
"God... honey, what's wrong?" He said caressing her face.
Christian didn't say anything, he just looked at him, swallowed and just hugged Toto.
The Austrian put his arms around him and asked again "what's wrong? Tell me..."
"Last night... I rejected Geri" he whispered and you could feel the fear
Toto didn't say anything, he just sighed, he continued caressing Christian until he walked away.
"She prepared a dinner, an evening andintentfrom that something would happen later..." he said, looking down "I... I couldn't" he felt the tears coming back again... "it's not right."
"Shhh" Toto silence "will be resolved"
"And when?" He said, holding back tears, "we have postponed that decision for a long time."
"I know," said Toto. "Believe me, I realize the consequences too..."
"So?...what if he suspects or something and I..." he started to say but was interrupted
"It can be normal for couples to not have intimacy one day," Toto said... "although I'm not the best at explaining that."
Christian looked at him surprised.
"I haven't touched my wife in a while," Toto confessed, "I didn't want to say it because I didn't want to make you feel obligated to do the same..."
"I... I haven't touched Geri either, I didn't want to say it either..." Christian also confessed "I love you... my body no longer wants other hands or other lips"
Toto smiled kindly and gave her a soft kiss on the lips "I love you... I want nothing more than you."
After some time to calm down and try to think about how to solve this, they had another talk... affection towards them.
"I... you know I still love him, what happened yesterday reminded me of all the damage I'm doing to him... that if we continue to drag this out... it will end badly" said Christian "I didn't say anything about intimacy because it How do you still look at your wife."
"In the same way that you see yours," Toto replied, "I have affection and gratitude for it, yes, I am also aware of what I am doing... I am also aware of how long we have prolonged the clandestinity in ours."
"What will we do then?" Christian said.
"Wait for the right moment to fix this... and be able to dedicate time just to ourselves" Toto said, placing a kiss on the other's cheek, Christian nodded and just leaned against Toto.
So in theory the decision had been made, it was the two of them, and out of respect for them they had to try to distance themselves and wish them something better than them, two sinners who are deciding to sink into their own vice.
~~~~
The days after that, Geri felt like she had sunk into a very heavy fog. Feeling emotionally distant from Christian was very difficult to process.
Although everything seemed like it wasn't, Christian was far from her, he didn't get to sleep at night, apparently he had silently started using the guest room.
Then the clothes had started to move there, I couldn't see the shirts in the closet anymore, although I knew they were in the guest room. The uncertainty of touching and feeling the aroma was affecting him.
Intuition told him that something wasn't right, fear told him that if they checked it he would feel worse.
Then one day when Christian was away, she walked into the room, opened the closet and found one of the shirts there. Geri remembers staring at the shirt and deciding what to do.
Then he hesitated, took it, felt the fabric, and then felt the aroma, a very strong man's perfume, mixed slightly with Christian's perfume.
She felt a chill, quickly placed the shirt in the same place and ran out of the room, she felt overwhelmed.
His head was trying to process what was happening, thousands of thoughts were bombarding his head...he didn't know what to do.
~~~~~
The way to discover something is different but the pain is the same or worse.
Susie remembers exactly what it was like, she knew that, he had a separate apartment near Brackley, sometimes he stayed there when they argued or he just stayed there because it was closer to the company.
In those days this he stayed in the family home. Once again he was looking for one of his shirts, although he hadn't done that in a while.
Susie then looked over where Toto was, only with his pants on and his torso uncovered. Previously this would have been a beautiful sight for her, seeing her husband like this, but today it wasn't when strange suspicions were swirling around her head.
Then she saw the reason why there were sometimes stains on her husband's shirts, a nice mark was visible on her husband's shoulder and it seemed recent... then a chain of scratches were visible on his back.
He froze there recording the image in his head, his heart beat very hard and he just left in silence.
While the bathroom in her room was still frozen, she looked at herself and could feel that this time the cracks in her world were getting bigger.
And the question was running through his head "why?"
She didn't feel when tears began to fall on her cheeks, she just felt lost in her thoughts. I just felt like everything was ending.
~~~~~
And when everything seems cloudy, a raging storm arrives, sadness turns to resentment, pain turns to anger.
Geri didn't know who he was, he didn't know what he looked like. Or maybe if she had an idea, at least she was bigger than her husband. Even so, I didn't have much information, but I knew it was a man.
She then decided to take her own measures, some part of her told her that she could get her husband back and that she should try until the end.
This person had to be someone from the paddock, someone from her husband's team or from the company.
She decided that her plans were going to change, she was going to dedicate herself to accompanying and supporting her husband more often.
And I wasn't going to ask him.
~~~~~~
Susie on the other hand was in limbo, she didn't know who she was, she didn't have a clue of anything, but that wouldn't stop her from discovering.
Taking advantage of her work range, she decided to accompany her husband on upcoming races and also accompany him when he went to Brackley.
He had to be aware of everything, his agenda, what he does, who he talks to.
And I couldn't involve anyone, because it wasn't going to generate gossip, this was more of a white collar affair.
~~~~
Parallel to these declarations of war, both Christian and Toto had felt frustrated at not being able to meet.
Toto had canceled some meetings, telling Christian that unfortunately she was accompanying him.
Jealousy was present, not insecurity, it was jealousy, Christian was beginning to detest the other woman, seeing her close to Toto, stalking.
Even though Geri was doing the same thing with him, Christian had noticed, but he ignored it... he ignored it because he was more focused on his jealousy.
On the other hand, Toto felt considerably the same, he knows his wife very well, he knows how she has changed, more control, more attention, more invasion.
He was being patient but there was a whisper inside that told him something wasn't right, unusual behavior.
~~~~~~
One day they managed to escape, they took each other's lips with great passion and gave themselves to each other for a long time.
When they were both satisfied, Toto decided to break the silence of post-coital satisfaction.
"I've noticed strange behaviors," he said as he slowly caressed Christian's body.
"Me too..." Christian said.
"Do you think..." Toto whispered
"Let's hope not..." said Christian "we better not think about this now, it's been a chaotic few weeks... so far from you"
Toto smiled and nodded obediently, hugging Christian for the rest of the time they had left.
~~~~~
The day Geri realized the name and face of that person, it was not only because of the similarity of the shirts that Christian sometimes wore (now not so much due to her presence), it was also because of the perfume.
In the paddock she saw Toto Wolff passing by signing autographs, she thought about saying hello but seeing him busy made her back away.
It was there when the man had some people around him, when he smelled their scent.
Something broke inside her, she was shocked watching the man pass by and go to his motorhome.
Toto Wolff? Her husband's rival?
~~~~
Susie on the other hand was a pretty shocking revelation, she remembers when at an event, all the team representatives were there.
She was representing her own category, but she was also accompanying her husband. While Toto was talking with other colleagues, she saw Christian, he was talking with people on his team.
He saw something unusual, the shirt he was wearing was similar in color to what Toto usually wears.
That first time she thought her paranoia and anxiety were reaching a high point, from even thinking and doubting people who weren't even close to her husband. Or so she thought.
The same thing had happened to anyone who approached Toto, he doubted everyone, he even thought that his social circle was hiding things from him.
~~~~
Geri thought so too, she thought that Red Bull hid everything from her, but that wasn't the case. She began to closely monitor her husband's interactions.
Especially when Christian interacted with him, he didn't know if it was her or something else but he felt like there was a different atmosphere.
She watched everything, the touches, the looks, the smiles, it seemed like Christian's eyes were shining.
~~~~~~
It's too much To say that they felt watched, Toto felt his wife's eyes on him.
So he tried to be quite cautious with who he approached. For some reason Susie's behavior was becoming more and more invasive.
~~~~
On the other hand, Christian felt the same way, Geri had continued trying to create intimacy between them without any success. They had gotten into an argument because of that.
Her claiming what was happening to her, him simply attributing it to stress, only for her to respond that that was ridiculous.
Yes it was, Red Bull still had an advantage even though they had more competition, but there was stress, because intuition told him that something was going to happen.
~~~~~
The day Christian had suspicions was when Susie sat next to him in the Red Bull hospitality.
The woman lately was insistent on approaching and generating interaction with him, Christian could sense the hostility but tried to behave.
Then she approached him, telling him that she wanted to talk something about his category and taking advantage of the fact that he was one of the oldest Team Principals, she could help him.
He kind of took it as silly, since Toto was the second oldest TP, but Susie put it down to not raising conflict of interest stuff and stressed how much her husband cared for her.
Christian remembers gritting his teeth when he heard the woman say that, it was a time before free practice, he hadn't changed his clothes into his usual uniform, and he couldn't do much because she arrived quickly.
She began by explaining some rules, until the conversation took an unexpected turn.
"Nowadays you get along pretty well with my husband, right Christian?" She said with her chin resting on her hand.
Christian made a confused look. "Oh well, we've always gotten along well, I guess... the rivalry is something else," he responded, as he usually does in interviews with the questions they always ask him.
"So much so that he lends you his shirts?" She said, her gaze turning dark.
"Sorry?" Christian said surprised and with a hint of nervousness.
She laughed "nothing just joking... let's continue"
Christian felt strange, that behavior was strange, but he wouldn't do anything about it, not if it was just a casual comment. I just knew that I would be careful when wearing Toto's clothes.
~~~~
Susie knew what she was doing, it was a way of giving Christian signals that she knew and would make him understand that she would fight for her husband.
~~~~~
On the other hand, Geri never really sought contact with Toto. He simply watched and even though he tried to stain Christian's clothes, kiss him and leave footprints on him.
Something in her told her to stop.
It's not because he couldn't fight because he had the energy and felt strong. But he saw his children.
He reflected on his age and his life and really thought about how difficult this situation would be.
So instead of confronting her husband's lover, she preferred to confront him.
That day he decided that the children would not be home, he would wait until it was after work and then he would talk.
~~~~
When Christian arrived home that day, it was very quiet, everything seemed normal but there was a heavy atmosphere in the air, his children were not there, there was no noise.
"Geri?" He said into the air looking to the sides
"In the kitchen" he heard someone say.
"Where are the children?" He said as he approached the kitchen.
"They're with their grandparents," she said. "We need to talk."
And a shiver ran through Christian
~~~~
Geri takes a deep breath.
"We haven't been well for a long time... you know that" she said.
Christian nodded and looked down.
"I noticed your behavior, I noticed it for a long time and I thought it was due to stress" he paused and then added. "And I didn't want to believe what I was seeing... when you were wearing someone else's clothes that you long to be with."
Christian looked up and saw her, her eyes moistened.
"Geri..." Christian said trying to speak.
"Let me continue, you know I've been keeping this for a long time," she said, knowing she was beginning to cry. "I never dared touch those clothes until one day I did, I did and I smelled that person's aroma..."
Christian looked down again, his hands felt cold mixed with sweat.
"And I knew he was a man then... but I never imagined what a man he was" he said and sarcastically said "Maybe you have good taste in the masculine gender, but your preference isn't for him to be single, is it?"
Christian gulped and his eyes also moistened.
"Geri please..." he said again
"No, let me speak first" she was forceful "I tried to revive whatever was left between us, but I realized that it's not worth it. Not when I've already lost this battle, we're already old Christian, we have children and they They are my battle now."
They were both crying now, she looked at him while he just looked down being humiliated.
"I've lived long enough and experienced controversies to make a media show," she said. "I won't give you that pleasure."
There was silence again and this time Christian did dare to speak.
"Forgive me..." he said "I know that asking you that is very difficult... but I want you to know that... I regret not stopping this when I could..."
"Stop what? Our marriage or your clandestine relationship?" She asked and felt annoyed for a moment "No, it won't be easy for me to forgive you, but I'm not going to fight a losing battle Christian, although yes, you could at least for our marriage when things were moving forward for you."
She left the house after that talk, crying in her car and went to an apartment that a few months ago she had already bought and prepared for the day she had to do this.
~~~~
Christian remained static at his table, listened as the car left, and burst into tears. The storm that he didn't expect to come true was worse.
That same night he called Toto.
"She knows," Christian said, feeling like he didn't feel anything.
Toto didn't say anything, you could only hear his breathing, he was processing everything.
"I don't know if someone told him it was you or if he found out because he saw us, I don't know," he said desperately. "He just said that he suddenly knew about the shirts and knew it was you."
"Calm down" Toto said.
"How do you want me to calm down if we don't know how he found out it was you..." said Christian.
"Will she do something?" Toto said
"No...she said no" Christian mentioned
"Then we should take that..." Toto said cautiously "Do you want me to go get you? And let's go somewhere else... I can't hear you well."
"No, I'm not fine, but I don't want to, thank you," he said, sounding almost annoyed.
"Okay...you can call me whenever you want" said Toto.
Christian didn't respond and just hung up.
It was just the beginning of his problems.
~~~~~
He stayed away from Toto for weeks, when they spoke it was soft, it was just a how are you and a goodbye with a goodbye kiss.
Everything got worse at another event, Christian knew how distant he was from Toto and in a way of feeling it he put on one of his shirts, which he still had at home.
If she didn't get close to him, she at least wanted to have him symbolically.
What I didn't expect was for Susie to come over.
~~~~
She had seen it, it had been a long time since Christian had worn Toto shirts, even her husband checked himself differently, he spent a little more time at home.
She decided to walk over and check the other man's clothes.
"Hello Christian," she said with a smile full of hostility.
"Hello... Susie" he said somewhat awkwardly.
"And Geri? I thought I'd come with you?" She said
"He preferred to stay with the children," Christian mentioned cautiously.
"Oh wow and you decide today to be like a single man right?" She said trying to joke but they both felt the hostility.
"It's not like that," said Christian.
"Or maybe you have another partner... who provides you with clothes," Susie said cheekily.
"Sorry?" Toto said
"Well because you wear really nice shirts now," she said, pointing at Christian's clothes, "better than before when you wore those ugly browns."
And that "flattery" was mixed with contempt.
"Thank you" he simply said.
"Does Toto teach you how to dress?" She said
"As?" He responded feeling nervous.
"I say this because you look better now... it seems like you have influence from him" she said with a dark tone of voice. "Can he lend you his shirts?"
"What?... No..." Christian said, smiling nervously.
"You know he has changed a lot lately and I have seen that you are very close...." she said "You spend a lot of time together... do you like my husband? Does he lend you his clothes or do you try to imitate his clothes?"
"I...don't...know what you're talking about" Christian said feeling nervous.
"No, yes, you know." She said insistently, "That shirt you're wearing, Toto was looking for it a few days ago and he pretended to have lost it."
"Susie I really don't know what problems you have with Toto... but I can tell you that..." Christian was speaking when she interrupted him.
"Yes, you know what problems I have with Toto, because you are the problem," she said, annoyed, "Listen to me carefully, you are not going to take my husband away from me, because he wouldn't be with someone as hypocritical as you, so false, and my husband is blinded by who knows what have you influenced him"
She got up and walked away, not even letting Christian say anything to her.
The latter remained static in his seat, his heart was beating fast and he felt nervous.
The hurricane finally exploded, the garden was destroyed.
~~~~~
That day Toto called Christian insistently, but the calls were not answered.
Christian after that event had locked himself in his room, taking it as a refuge, he felt nervous. He felt like his world was breaking and he was afraid of Susie's actions.
Talking about this topic with Toto would, in his view, generate a worse conflict, which he did not want.
Christian sank into bed, curled up knowing the worst storm was coming.
~~~~~
Susie noticed, she saw Toto look insistently at his phone when they were talking.
She knows he called Christian but he didn't answer. Susie thought it was stupid and even thought Christian was a coward.
But for some reason, instead of feeling happy for having bullied that person, she felt strange... she didn't feel anything... especially since she was looking at Toto quite anxiously.
~~~~~
At the next grand prix, Geri decided to take the children, because they wanted to see their father.
And Susie came to say hello, they didn't really talk, she just asked him how everything was going, what was going on with Christian.
Although sometimes the questions seemed quite invasive.
~~~~
Toto, who had been trying unsuccessfully to contact Christian, had continued making calls.
One time he did respond saying that he needed more time, he didn't like this, on one of those occasions when he was writing a message to Christian, Susie spoke up.
"What are you doing?...you seem anxious" she said.
"Nothing, just checking some things" he responded.
"Checking some things or checking to see if anyone answers you?" She said.
"Checking some things," he repeated, sounding annoyed.
"Oh... I know, maybe Christian Horner doesn't answer you?" She said and smiled contemptuously at Toto's expression.
"No... I'm not talking to him," he said cautiously.
"Of course because he doesn't answer you"
"What do you have Susie?"
"Me?.. nothing... I'm just here looking at you desperate for him to answer you" she said crossing her arms. "It seems like he's a coward."
"What are you implying?" Toto changed his tone of voice.
"He hinted at the truth, he is a pathetic coward who only hides when he is discovered" she said.
"Susie..." Toto said.
"What? You thought I wouldn't notice... when the guy was walking around in your shirts?" She said looking at him with contempt.
Toto opened his eyes in surprise.
She started clapping "Bravo! Bravo!" She said sarcastically "you have involved with the most pathetic person in the paddock, congratulations Toto Wolff"
"Susie..." he said warningly, "what did you do?"
She laughed "nothing just in front, I told him what he deserves, which is a small thing..."
Toto looked at her and remained silent.
"You didn't do that," he said, thinking about how badly Christian could be suffering.
"Yes I did and that's why the coward doesn't answer you" she said sounding proud.
Toto didn't like it
"Don't tell him like that..." he said
"What?... I'll call that little shit whatever I want" she responded defensively.
"Shut up!" he raised his voice and she crossed her arms.challenging him "I don't recognize you..."
"Thank you and your new love..." she said with that last part, his voice breaking.
Toto takes a deep breath "Susie... can we..."
"We can't do anything!, or talk, or anything Toto... but just know that I will make his life impossible" she said.
"No... Susie that..." he tried to calm her down.
"Yes,he deserves it and so do you, I won't let you live in peace even as long as you live off this damn sport!" She said and left.
He didn't follow her, he just let her go.
~~~~
She was serious, she annoyed them... Christian sometimes watched as she hung out near Toto because she knew he was watching.
It was no longer a fight to get her husband back, it was a fight to annoy them... blinded by hate, by pain.
She once kissed Toto for a Mercedes victory, Christian passed by shortly after, he had seen them. When Toto pulled away from her awkwardly, he noticed and looked at her with annoyance. She do not cares.
~~~~~~
One day Toto came to look for Christian at his motorhome, he knocked on the door insistently.
"Christian... my love..." he said whispering "open please."
The other was inside, he was just listening, he didn't want to open... but Toto was insistent.
"What do you want?" Said
"Honey, we haven't talked..." said Toto
"We have nothing to talk about..." said Christian "Why don't you go with your wife?"
"Christian that... no" said Toto "I know she told you things"
"She told me?... she sends me messages all the time, photos of you with your son..." said Christian "making me show how guilty I am, but she leaves out that you are as guilty as I am"
"Christian..." I take his hand and try to pull him.
"Let go of me, you're also a damn culprit and you seem to be doing so well, she knows it and yet you don't do anything..." he says in protest
"Yes, I do know that I am guilty, if I have done things Christian, do you know how to be careful so that I can come see you and that she doesn't find out?" He responded "but please... let's not stand out..."
"I need time..." Christian said.
"I think I've given you enough time, trying to even keep an eye on you and what about me? I want to be with you and support each other" he responded with annoyance.
"Well I need more! And I'm not like you who can probably process this better than me" He insisted
"Okay..." Toto said and left.
~~~~~
That was their last argument, a couple of months passed and Toto no longer looked for him, it's not that he didn't want to, rather he took charge of fixing everything, he officially moved into his apartment again, now all his things were there, and from time to time from time to time his children's visits arrived according to the agreement he had with Susie.
Meanwhile, Christian, who lived alone in a large house, occasionally had his children, had agreed with Geri not to mention anything, to do everything in a friendly way.
~~~~
On the other hand, one day Susie found Geri in the paddock and then decided to talk.
"Are you coming to accompany Christian?" Said
"The children wanted to see him," she replied.
And Susie just for a moment misjudged Geri thinking the woman was naive.
"Do you know what your husband has been doing?" Susie said.
For her this was another blow that was needed.
"What does he do with your husband?" Geri answered and Susie froze "yes I know.."
"And...then you..." Susie said.
"Susie... I'm already an older woman, I was in a group of singers where before all eyes were on me and my companions, I know what a controversy it is... I'm too old for that" said Geri.
"But...what about what they did to you? What they did to us? Don't you want it back?" The other woman said surprised.
"Get back what? susie? Something we lost a long time ago?" Geri said seriously, "I passed honestly. I lost that battle and I didn't realize it."
And after a while... Susie cried the tears fell slowly
"But..." she said, "I don't know what made them connect..."
"Susie, there are things that we have no explanation for... it could be that they have connected with things that were not like that with us..." said Geri, taking Susie's hands "It's not that you forgive him... it's that you letting him go and love yourself"
"Why him, Geri?... haven't you asked yourself why?" Susie said.
Geri was crying now too.
"Believe me, yes," she said, "but maybe it was destiny, I don't know."
They continued talking, Susie continued wondering why Toto connected in that way with his biggest rival... but she knew it was an impossible question.
But somehow that conversation helped Susie to vent and, above all, learn to let go.
~~~~
It seemed that after a natural disaster, everything was settling in the garden.
Christian had finally started to regret his words. And I'm looking for Toto.
When Toto opened the door he was surprised.
"Hello..." Christian said "can I come in?"
Toto stepped aside, I let him in "you didn't warn"
"I didn't think you would answer me...." he said he remained silent and after a sigh "We can't continue like this, I know it's been difficult, we have temporarily hated each other, but we just can't"
"Christian," Toto said softly.
"Just tell me that... let's try, that so much pain caused will not be in vain... please" he said through tears.
"Oh darling... of course it won't be in vain" said Toto hugging him "I'm sorry for treating you badly in these months"
"No... you excuse me" Christian whispered.
Then Toto took Christian's face and allowed himself to do something that months ago, due to all this conflict, fear and fighting, he had refrained from doing, kissing Christian's lips again.
Before long, they were curled up in each other's arms and didn't need anything else.
"So you're alone at home" said Toto
"Yes... empty feels too big for one person." Christian said.
"We should do something?" Toto suggested "Do you want me to come stay with you for a few days?"
"I would love to," Christian smiled, "although I don't know if it will feel uncomfortable... well, I have my own room, I don't use the main one."
"I won't feel awkward if I can see you happy" he said and they kissed again.
So the garden was starting to bloom after the hurricane.
~~~~~
Well, a new chapter, sorry if there are mistakes there, there are a lot of words and I really get lost in some things, I will try to fix some spelling errors👀
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