#thats literally half of the talk & theory! We were just normal kids!!! Thats the fucking point!! Its not being elitist its the opposite!!

[monsterqueers]

Im just really annoyed about how people just fucking hate it when the kids they were jealous of and hated in school for not also getting bad grades also report being fucking traumatized by the school system.

Yeah sorry school traumatizes everyone, even the 'ex-gifted kids' you fucking hate because god forbid someone wasnt exploited and overworked the same way you were.

Sorry a group of predominately neurodiverse people experiencing burnout and how their upbringing of being only valued for their academic performance totally fucked their ability to function in the real world dare talk about this pain where you can see.

Its not being privileged and ~humblebragging~ to report emotional neglect from your parents centered around you having to get perfect grades to receive any scrap of love.

Wishing violence on them for talking about it and finding each other isn't cute either.

And because these people need it stated extra clear

This post is NOT saying other groups of people 'had it less bad'. This is about a specific phenomenon of vitriol towards a oft neurodiverse group of people commiserating about how they were screwed over by the system under the label 'gifted kid' NOT whatever else you are imagining im saying. <3

#clown on this post and get blocked #dismissing abuse reports because you think the people being screwed over by the system differently threaten you somehow is wrong sorry <3 #rebloggable but if it breaches containment too hard I might lock it to avoid the piss on the poor crowd #these ppl do not realize part of the point of 'ex gifted kid' is the fact that the label WAS bunk & was just used as an excuse to abuse us! #thats literally half of the talk & theory! We were just normal kids!!! Thats the fucking point!! Its not being elitist its the opposite!! #blocked and unfollowed 3 different people for threats of violence towards anyone who identifies with 'ex gifted kid' which inspired this

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Hiii!! I have a few of your wips that i'm interested to learn about more!!

First of all I Can Feel it in My Bones bc you mentioned it earlier and it caught my attention

On Thin Ice, My Dumb Brother Got Banned, Drunk Party Scrap, Stupid For You

Wow that's a lot- sorry

No but fr i actually wanna know all of them!! They seem so creative

AHHH!! My bad for getting back to this now!! BUT LONG REPLY INCOMMING BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!

1.) I started writing I Can Feel It in My Bones back in 2020. I remember that, but I'd forgotten all about the document until scrolling through things. (Seemed pretty ominous to me because I literally had it titled "the owl houseeee" even though thats not what I have it called in my head). I started writing it a bit before the vampire au. Like in October of 2020.

Back during then I had an idea based on that coven day episode from season one (episode 5 iirc?). Where we see that brief little moment of that "Illusion Luz" when they're demonstrating and talking about covens, and my favorite trope of all time is soulmates. I absolutely LOVE that trope with my entire being, and I had this silly goofy idea that well... What if there's a soulmate au? BUT DIFFERENT THAN THE NORMAL METHOD. The story is basically following Amity as a kid through the years up until the show actually happens- And one night (following a separate theory I had- see below) when she hears her parents arguing and can't sleep; casts an illusion spell to help her calm down and that then puts her to sleep.

In her dream she finds someone. This girl she's never seen before. She's got round ears and is blue hued. And this girl introduces herself and is like "Didn't you read the small text beneath the spell?" and Amity's like "No??" "Whoever you see within this space is supposed to be your soulmate." So like Luz? Yk. It's that whole thing where through the years UP until Amity actually meets her, she's like "I'm never going to meet this girl-- And then once she does, she's so utterly taken aback by it that she cannot believe it and is like so flabbergasted and HOPING that she doesn't fuck things up. Not wanting to at all. Cause obviously, what the fuck?? Are there even second chances with soulmates?

Anyway, I had another theory with that, that I think I was trying to weave in. Where Amity is technically Aladors' brother's daughter. Whom died unexpectedly by a mysterious hit by the emperor because he married a human. "So, Amity's half human and she's just repeating history with Luz?" Yep haha. TO THINK THAT THEORY WAS LOW KEY SO CLOSE BECAUSE THE EMPEROR DID KILL A BROTHER... It was just his own.

I need to finish it.

2.) On Thin Ice!! This one is the figure skater au I was thinking about and kicking around in my brain. Where both of Luz's parents were competitive figure skaters. Though they retired like right before they had her and instead of Manny being dead- It's Camila.

However, Eda owns this rink that Luz always goes to and is like almost always there skating. Wanting to be the best and make her mom proud. To get to where her parents couldn't (she blames herself a little bit that they couldn't win-win). Willow and Gus are involved too to hype up the girl. Anyway, basically Amity of course came from money and rich shit- She and Luz have known each other for a LONG time. Hate each other because Luz assumes she's a brat, but like little does she know that her parents obviously disagree with her skating and pursuing a dream like that. Lilith helps her and is how I envision the first part of it going. (Luz going up to the rink with Willow and Gus to realize its closed because Lilith and Amity are skating. Eda not being there.) Fast forward, Eda and Manny are Luz's coaches and Raine of course helps them out by taking over for Eda for a while when they pursue Luz going professional. (King is their adopted child and Collector is a childhood best friend of his <3)

However, by some "mistake" Amity and Luz are forced to skate together. As a couple. Enter forced interactions and them having to begrudgingly get along. Fake the chemistry for the cameras!! Anyway, this would actually require a bit of research on my part, and a bit more planning but I'm into this "rivals to faking chemistry so people stay invested in them. To- Whoops one of them actually means it."

I forgot where I had the twins in it, but I think Hunter and Vee are in there too. I think I had Darius as Amity's other coach and somehow, we get a bit of rosegold energy in there.

3.) My Dumb Brother Got Banned (This title is so off the cuff, but I love it). Basically, it's the silly idea I had where Edric is banned from this video game/card shop/comic bookstore. Said store hosts a video game tournament every year (alongside DnD sessions every other Thursday afternoon.). For starting a fire accidently in the bathroom, and after a LOT of begging; the shop owner said they would lift it as long as she (Amity) works there for the entire summer. Masha and Willow work there with her, and Masha's avidly hosts the DnD group that plays there. Insert Luz whom one day comes in looking for a gift to Hunter for his birthday (with Vee). Somehow, we then find out Hunter attends the group sessions and Luz starts going with him because Masha asked Amity to cover late one week. I don't really know what else happens tbh other than that, but Edric wins the Melee tournament, and his ban gets lifted because he repays the damages with the bounty.

4.) Drunk Party Scrap!! This is just 800 words in my phone where Luz is at Willows party on Halloween eve. She'd gone with her best friend Amity but for some reason she forgets where she'd gone off to... But this girl in a Hecate costume is so pretty and matches her Azura costume perfectly. She wants to show Amity because the details are SO accurate to the books. She's completely flabbergasted because only her and Amity know about Azura. But where in the world did Amity go??

tldr drunk confession while not knowing that Amity is literally Hecate, but Luz thinks she's in love (because omg she's so pretty) and its stupid but yeah. Amity takes care of her unknowingly (because best friends!) and it's a mystery to Luz who this person is, but she wants to find them again when she wakes up.

Amity is just scared to reveal it because she doesn't wanna fuck things up but has been in love with Luz for years. Horrible synopsis but yeah. I was writing it on a break randomly. I didn't really know what to do with it.

5.) Stupid For You!! Ahh. The apartment neighbor's au that no one asked for!! So, like Amity moves out with the help of the twins that then transpires days after into her almost being knocked over by this big dog that'd charged right from his owner into her. He's friendly but damn, she was JUST trying to read outside because it was nice out. She hears this girl yell and sees her, and the girl apologizes then explains that "King just loves new people" Basically, they live across from one another on the bottom floor, and when one day Amity is about to go to work, she realizes that her toilet valve breaks, and water is ALL over the floor. but...Luz is also the maintenance worker for the complex. (Cue slight embarrassment) Ghost likes her so at least that's a good thing. Anyway, they start hanging out from time to time and coming over for dinner or to watch a movie (she noted that Amity was a Azura fan) and it's just a small friends to lovers' thing?? Also, Luz breaks her leg midway through, and Eda's the property owner. Hunter works with Luz too as the other maintenance worker for when one of them aren't working. AND Amity has a vinyl collection. I don't know ahh I thought of it when Timeless by Taylor Swift got released. Was just going to be a little self-indulgent thing.

Anyway I've been talking for WAY too long lol so ahh I hope that made semi sense?? You can ask about any of the others too idm dw. I know I ramble WAY too much but it's so fun to talk about the ideas.

Also the toilet breaking right before work is a personal experience and it was NOT a good discovery LMAO, but yeah, I'd thought it would be silly to insert it into a fic.

#the owl house #billys replying to asks #wip stuff #thanks for the ask!!

[gospelofme]

57 Thoughts I Had While Watching Part 2 of The Bad Batch Season Finale (Spoilers ahead!!)

I do like how Part 2 picks right up where Part 1 left off. I prefer that method since it makes it feel like one connected piece. Like how Rogue One ended where A New Hope kicks off.

Ya know, I wouldn’t mind the thunderstorms.

Okay the explosions are beautifully animated. The blues, the sparks, the orange flames. And I like how they’re realistically placed. So many shows with explosions don’t have them right close to the characters, even if they’re supposed to be all around them.

This episode is kinda darkly lit. Not like Battle of Winterfell in Game of Thrones.

Okay yeah, that clone reporting the destruction…thats some sadness there.

That inner alarm has me thinking “oh shit my flight has changed gates again hasn’t it!!”

Damn, imagine being unconscious and wake up in a flooding compartment with a droid and that one kid who took your place.

Okay how strong is that knife. I kinda expect it to break in half. Wrecker would

probably try to trade with Hunter after that.

The shot of the burning buildings on the water is so beautiful too. The reflections were well done.

About AZ being like “oh hey homie, you survived being blown up but now you’re drowning. And I’m watching while this literal child tries to move metal debris off of you.”

Okay Omega using her bow like that is genius. But please wee baby don’t hit Crosshair by accident. And the way the bolts underwater were animated. 🤌🏻🤌🏻

And Crosshair being all “wtf?!”

Dang Omega is so take charge here.

Okay the sprays of water from the door is so well done. And omg they just pop outta there lmao!!!! About how Omega is caught and they just let Crosshair slide on the floor.

Haha Crosshair being like “Hunter, you fucker did you break something?!”

I really wish it wasn’t so darkly lit, but it does bring a sense of realism. The power is out, so what we’re able to see is what the characters are able to see with flashlights. Plus I’m sure this would look different on my TV than iPad.

The music is so pretty, so emotional. Oh damn poor AZ.

Oh never mind. He’s good.

Crosshair quit being a poop and follow them please.

Echo and that smell lmao.

“Blind allegiance makes you a pawn. A real leader protects his squad.”

Huh. Interesting. But isn’t blind allegiance what the clones had in the Republic? Isn’t that what Clone Force 99 had in the Republic? At least mostly. Some clones didn’t have that obviously, like Cut.

Ooohh Crosshair’s expression when Hunter knocked his shoulder. That seemed like surprise. There is something to that.

Hmmmmmm I’m with Crosshair on that. Going through a glass tunnel with cracks in it hundreds of feet below the surface would be a no from me. Also, what about water pressure? Is that not a thing there? Like wouldn’t you get a massive headache traveling through that? Or maybe not….idk.

Oh fuck Wrecker letting Crosshair know what’s what. I do like that he’s finally expressing how he feels. I’ve always thought there was more of a brotherly relationship between Wrecker and Crosshair than Crosshair had with the others. And Wrecker has a point, Crosshair didn’t even try to come back to them. Of course that really isn’t a fair statement either I guess. Wrecker should remember how he couldn’t control what he did when his chip kicked on.

And Tech jumping in and saying that Crosshair has always been “severe and unyielding” is a good way to let us know a bit more of what’s normal behavior for Crosshair. I like how he’s reminded Wrecker that some things Crosshair can’t help due to just how he is (likely a byproduct of the enhancement experiments).

“Understanding you does not mean I agree with you.” Ugh if only more people had this mindset. Also, the whole “why are you defending me?” sounds like Tech doesn’t usually leap to Crosshair’s defense (even though that’s not what he’s doing here). Which further makes me think that the brotherly relationship that usually exists between team members (like Domino squad eventually, Rex/Echo/Fives/Kix/Jesse/Hardcase/Tup) doesn’t exist here between all the guys. It’s more sporadic. Crosshair seems to get along better with Wrecker (in their own way, teasing and their droid death counts) than he does with Tech.

Also perhaps they should not stop so often…ya know, just in case the tunnel implodes.

Oh nope nope nope. No underwater tubes and sea monsters for Bethany.

AZ is so peppy. Like he sounds so positive when relaying bad news. He sounds like the kinda droid that would be like “good news is you have great cholesterol, bad news is you have cancer. But yay no diabetes!”

Oh yeah I kinda forgot Hunter wasn’t with them they first got to the private lab. And oh damn, Omega is technically older than them. The whole accelerated aging thing is just so unfair.

Well we really couldn’t expect a glass tunnel to fully survive aerial bombardment. Better start swimming fuckers!!

Damn, someone find AZ a charger! I bet Tech has one for his datapad that boy is attached too. He seems like the type to never be without a phone charger. He also seems like the type to not want to share it because no one else in the squad treats their charge cords with respect.

Dad gum Crosshair, I didn’t hear you spouting off any bright ideas. Geez, who peed in your wheaties?!

Hunter takes things too personally?! Weren’t you being all Salty McSourpus over Hunter leaving your ass on Kamino for shooting at him and the others? Were you not taking that too personally? But kudos to Hunter for reminding him the Empire peaced the fuck out and left him to die on Kamino. Although…Crosshair does sound like he’s trying not to care about that. Like it does bother him but he’s acting like he don’t give a fuck.

“The Empire will control the entire Galaxy. And I’m going to be a part of it.” Uhm, sir…you’re currently in a secret lab at the bottom of the ocean with no means of escape right now. How do you plan to be a part of the Empire from down here? Like, are you going to establish the underwater branch of the Empire and assert the Emperor’s control over the sea critters?

Ugh Omega trying so hard to bond with Crosshair. Like the parallel between this scene and the holding cell scene. And her thinking she was wrong about the chip making him behave like a dick. Oh sweet baby, you’re not wrong. He still has that thing. But he has always been a dick per Tech’s words earlier. But she’s trying so hard to show him the similarities between them.

I’ve noticed Crosshair does a lot of pushing people away. Like he’s been doing that with Hunter and Omega this whole season. Speaking harshly to them both (although I think some of the things he says to Hunter, he’s always wanted to say). But I think it’s more that he wants to avoid disappointing them, so he shoves them away to prevent that feeling. Like perhaps he thinks he isn’t worthy to be around them, that they’ll be better off without him around.

Oh fuck, look at you contributing now Mr. I Am Going To Complain About Other People’s Ideas.

Did they have to draw straws to see who got their own pod and who had to team up with who? Like,

Hunter: “Someone has to go with Tech.”

Crosshair, Wrecker: “Not it!”

Echo: “not it, fuck I wasn’t fast enough.”

Oh the wee child is getting her own pod. Okay then.

Of course Hunter and Crosshair get doubled up. I bet they argue the whole time.

Crosshair: “stop breathing all the air!!”

Hunter: “stop standing on my foot!!”

Crosshair: “well it’s not my fault you have Sasquatch feet!”

Oh damn. Well bye Omega. It was nice knowing you. Crosshair probably has your eulogy already written.

Hm, so Tech never shared his datapad charge cord with AZ. Bummer.

Awww poor AZ. He was a good droid. We’ll remember how he OMG OMEGA WHAT THE FUCK?!!???

Again is water pressure not a thing in Star Wars?

Sweetie. He’s metal. You won’t be strong enough to pull him along with you.

Oh fuck Crosshair! Oh damn the look on his face is like “Hunter, get you ugly ass face out of my shot.” Oh damn, boy has got some good eyesight, I want a piece of that.

Bruh, that’s gotta hurt. You just saved the kid they all love and they got you at blaster point. Buuuuuut at the same time you haven’t expressed the most positive attitude towards said kid either. So maybe they have a good reason to think you’d shoot her? Still. Damn. That’s gotta hurt, since if it had been the good ol’ days they’d be like “nice shot buddy!”

Hunter looks more wary than upset honestly. Like he isn’t sure why Crosshair did that, but he’s not sure if Crosshair would want him expressing gratitude either. Hunter doesn’t seem to know how to treat him any more. Crosshair belittles him and speaks harshly to him, but then saves Omega. It’s almost like old Crosshair is still in there, knowing how attached the team is to Omega. Even if he does think she’s not in the safest environment with them.

Oh…omg what is this?! I just noticed, no rain on Kamino….AND SUNSHINE?! Like is that a fucking sunrise??!!?? Oh shit you guys there is symbolism here!!! Like a new start or something impossible has happened. Like there has never been sunshine on Kamino, it’s always stormed. Always. Always and forever it has done that. But after the destruction of Tipoca City, the rains cease and the sunshine comes out. Like….omg guys. It’s pretty!!

Interesting. Omega seems sad that a place she didn’t want to ever return to is gone. But I guess that’s probably the notion that she’s essentially homeless setting in. That the only home she’s had (before Clone Force 99) is gone.

Also, I have this theory that Ghost Fives probably travels with Echo, and he’d likely be like “good! Fuck that place. Killing Tup there and all. Bitches.”

Echo: “stfu Fives, she’s sad okay.”

Honestly I’m not surprised Crosshair refused their offer to come with them. He has his pride and I feel like he doesn’t want to admit aligning with the Empire was a mistake. That he was wrong and Hunter was right. Especially after being all Pro-Empire and talking about how they’re going to be what the Galaxy needs.

“Consider us even.” GIRL he admits it! He was saving YOU!! YOU! Not the dumb droid, YOU!!!!

His face says it all when they pull away. Like he regrets not going with them, but he can’t bring himself to stay with them. He’s really conflicted right now. He has programming in his head telling him one thing and another portion of his mind reminding him that Tech, Wrecker, Hunter, and even Echo care about him. That they’re a team. He even wanted them to join the Empire so they could all get back together. He does want to be with them, but it’s going to take time to get passed the war in his head.

Oh damn, Nala Se and some Commando buddies. Yeah there’s something up with her. She seems to have gained a lot out of this. Making herself more important than Lama Su and likely more important than the other scientists from Kamino. I wonder if this was her plan all along. It’s so hard to tell what Kaminoans are thinking because they don’t express emotions facially or even vocally.

I read a post somewhere about Nala Se doing childish science experiments. Like the baking soda/vinegar volcano. And now I can’t get the image out of my head of her teaching like a high school chemistry class where you get to do those classic science fair experiments. Things exploding, clones accidentally gassing each other at a table. Someone betting someone else 5 credits to drink a solution.

@leias-left-hair-bun @halzore @escapedthesarlacc @eyecandyeoz

#star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #the mandalorian #the bad batch spoiler #the bad batch spoilers #crosshair tbb #commander crosshair #sargent hunter #tbb hunter #tbb tech #tbb echo #arc trooper echo #tbb wrecker #tbb omega

[luidilovins]

You should turn your post on the Uncanny Valley into a book or something. I am not even kidding, it's brilliant and sorely needed information. Thank you for it.

Tbh its just speculative that the uncanny valley is an inherent biological trait and not cultural or a learned behavior at the moment. A good example would be the cultural phenomenon of colorophobia where in the US we have a longer history of using clowns in our horror pop culture genres than countries like Japan.

Clown entertainment has been around since the Egytian times and maybe some people have always been freaked out by them it honestly just takes one director or author to have an disproportionately irrational fear and good cinematography skills to convince people that they SHOULD hate clowns just as much, (I could say the same about the movie Jaws but thats a bit of a tangent,) or a memorable event that damages the public's trust in something that SHOULD be innocent or harmless. (A good examples being the John Wayne Gacy trials.)

Clowns are also thought to be in the uncanney valley so ita a fairly good argument on cultural phenomenon versus genetic traits. Up until aroud the 60s-70s clowns were actually fairly well liked by the US general public and a lot of older generation still find a fondness in it that would scare the living shit out of their grandchildren.

As far as evidence that I may be right about the "uncanney valley might be because of rabies" theory, there has been a small case study suggesting that the movements of a non-human robot that trigger the effect in us, is also present in people with parkinsons but the sample size is too small for me to be thoroughly convinced.

And don't be mistaken I also dislike this concept because saying that ableism is an inherent human trait is just as bad as saying racism is an inherent human trait. There is little to gain from distrust in the disabled and little historical evidence to suggest it was common or beneficial to discard disabled people. Disabled people's remains have been found time and time again to live to incredibly long livea and be cared for, and participate in their communities. I'm highly critical of this particular case study and I take it with a grain of salt because its on cosmo, but evidence of human disabilities and compassion can be sourced by actual bones and it's been placed on VERY credible sources. NPR, NBC, Discovery, Nat Geo, NY Times, literally the clostest you can get to creme of the crop news articles on DOZENS of accounts and if you have a goddam problem then pay for a tour to the Smithsonian, find an archeologist and coherse them into showing you the bones and then explain phorensics to you because you probably wouldn't understand unless you too were a phorensic archeologist yourself.

What I DO BELIEVE tho is that if the uncanny valley is a legitimate inherent trait, that like most evolutionary traits, it made it this far for this long because it somehow served us benificially. And the biggest benifit I can think of is identifying neuro-infectious diseases because they can spread agressivley, many of them lead to death or lasting effects and are fucking MISERABLE to catch. We're talking brain swelling, fevers, uncontrollable vomiting, tremors, hallucinations, motor and vocal tics, difficulty swallowing, seizures. This could all happen because they eat infected deer meat or because of one bad fox bite. It's miserable if you survive and horrifying if you dont. Rabies can survive in your muscle tissue for years before infecting your brain and once it does usually you only live for about 5-10 days in and out of concious knowledge that you're going to die painfully, and disease aggrivated psychosis. It would be hard to pinpoint the causation because the amout of time before full blown infection would vary too much to assosiate for a long time. So your only option is to hone in on telltale signs.

The disabled people who would suffer from herdeditary or developmental neurological disorders run the risk of prejudice from mistaken identity, but if a human is part of a community, and doesn't die within a week from having a wobbly head, it would sooner or later become apparent that they're not dangerous. I think nowadays culturally people don't press to learn more about disabled people due to social and political prejudice and never fucking grow up past that. Mistaken identity or not. You learn about people from the patterns of their behaviors so even ones that seem abnormal to you become a normal recognizable pattern for them. Fancy that.

We don't get grossed out by chimps or gorillas, who are even more distant cousins, and the proof that we don't have a search and destroy button for anything immediatly related to us is a bunch of bullshit can be found in almost every human's blood on earth. And not just neanderthals, but denisovans as well. And that's not even accounting for genetic backtracking the crossbreeding of other sapiens species before we were whittled down to just the three. What makes the tweet even stupider is that when neandertals still roamed the earth humans were shorter, hardier, and overall more rough looking so we looked even indistinguished then. We Also Chewed On Bones and neandertals handled cold climates better than us based on a study on chest cavity density and, skull nasal intake and heat circulation, providing genetic diversity and the upper hand in survival in the tundras or mountainous regions spanning over Eurasia. If it wasn't for humans fucking neandertals we might not have been able to spread over the contient or diversify the way we did.

So my full hypothesis is that if the uncanny valley is a genetic inherent human trait it was used to benifit people from catching agressive diseases in a time where the benifit of fearing a group member with rabies outweighed the cost of fearing a group member with a disability like parkinsons.

WHAT PISSED ME OFF was the idea that we are DESIGNED to be unwary of our evolutionary cousins could easily be used for white supremacist spaces to justify racism BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS

So that one tweet that might seem like a quirky thinkpiece in my eyes is just fuel for eugenics trend round whatever number we're on. It's like we don't fucking learn. It would be REALLY easy to retool the concept that it's natural for people to be fearful of whatever the bullshit definition of sub-humans are. Claiming that black people were sub-human thus deserving of mistrust and submission to white ownership worked like a fucking charm.

Maybe if I go to college and major in psyche/socio/civics it'll be my college thesis. Right now I'm more of a hobbyist than anything, but what I DO know is that anyone can make an untested hypothesis to combat another untested hypothesis and it should hold just as much goddamn value. I combatted the idea that the idea that human othering was funneled into an unconfirmed effect that causes disgust and terror based on non-human sapiens is in fact racist and gave what is in my opinion a more evoluntionary practical approach to the uncanney valley.

The generalized links that I used APARENTLY weren't good enough for some people but aparently a single tweet that says "hur dur heedle dee uncanney valley exists because of human cousins" was taken at face value even tho it was probably tapped out in five seconds without regards to the reproccussions. I find a huge discomfort that less than studious links about the evolution of monkey social behaviors that I used as a guideline to explaining my concerns became the focal point for people to nitpick without even having the gall to "well actually" on the subject. That absolute ravaging NEED to rip apart at it and devolve into name calling because I MENTIONED racism is fucking suspicious and I don't trust it. I had to stop looking at the responses because some people were only reblogging and arguing with barely half of my argument and i was getting nowhere fast.

There were a few people that made actual points with cited sources that made their own rebuttle arguments. That I respect. It's just as valid an argument as mine and I'm ALWAYS willing to take on more credible sources to strengthen my stance or gain perspective.

But it's the utter dismissal of a concerning concept that just seeped into the subtext that gnawed at my gut. Some people on top of hating the linked sources I provided, admitted they didn't read it, refused to read between the lines to purposfully misinterpret or derail my main points, and detract that my claim that the tweet was a result of systemic white supremacy saturated into modern science was a bunch of bullshit because I claimed that 1500s anglos invented racism.

The thing is we did invent the racism that we fucking currently subscribe to.

We practice the science that we formulated based on our own social prejudice. Real people die from this.

We remain uncritical of our own theorums that we postulate then pat ourselves on the back like we're philosophical geniuses even though racism is a family heirloom with a new paint job.

We preach the eugenics ideals that we pulled out of our asses to benifit from fearmongering, promises of national security and unpaied labor.

White supremacists create subtext with the intention of it being consumed by accident or in ways that seem palatable.

Fuck.

That.

I don't hate the person who wrote the tweet. Chances are that they gave the tweet as much thought as they took the time to write it and went on their day as a fun little thinkpiece. Everyone on the internet does it. But its that kind of thinking error that needs to be adressed as a progression of historic and scientific prejudice that gets rehashed, recycled and untouched and continually damages and is weaponized against marginalized people. I am not wrong for taking it seriously especially when a bunch of people were sitting around nodding their heads just as effortlessly.

I don't owe the internet any more sources than the tweet. I don't owe anyone on the internet a full scientific ananysis. And the people's reaction to what I had to say was actually what further convinced me I might have hit the nail on the head.

#answered asks #uncanny valley effect #eugenics #fuck white supremacy #systemic racism #racism #negative #slavery #luidilovins

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #pyroc #midnight mass

[alluratron]

How much of my s5 wishlist did i get?

This is just my wishlist as I posted it before with stuff I got bolded. sub points are current discussion

AKA a list of things I’d like to see and theories I want confirmed in the upcoming season(s).

more info on operation kuron. i’d like more hints at what kuron is or even full on confirmation that s3/s4 shiro is a clone.

i mean really we weren't not gonna get anything on this but i'm so fucking happy that we've been validated that kuron is different than shiro and even the characters notice it

a genuine moment between allura and lotor. they’ve both lost their home planets, after all. lotor twice over.

tbf we don't know how genuine lotor was being but even if his intentions are not, the dialogue seemed very much so at times, especially the stuff about honerva and that planet zarkon put him in charge of so i'll take it

lotor’s backstory. when tf was he born??? he knows honerva was his mother, but doesn’t seem to connect her with haggar. hell, haggar didn’t even know about honerva. so, was lotor born before the war? is he 10,000 years old? why does he look so young? was he frozen somehow? why are his eyes blue???? what is up with this guy????

ZOMBIE BABY HAHAHAHAHA. also he's centuries old and he's still alive bc the rift made him immortal(?) like haggar i guess. and he's like....an artificial sacred altean like haggar??

lotor double crosses team voltron. i don’t want him to be an anti-hero. i want him to be undeniably a villain, even if he does have genuine aspects to him. less zuko, more azula (in that we understand that azula is a product of her upbringing, but still evil nonetheless).

not yet but i still strongly believe this will come

allura’s magic. i always want more of allura’s magic. i want to learn more about sacred alteans and why allura is seemingly more powerful than what’s normal even for sacred alteans.

i mean, it was more acquired alchemy than inherent magic but there was still some inherent magic so im not complaining too much. shes still special so :')

the white lion theory. in s4 ep3, acxa says that the two sincline (i see what they did there) ships used 60% of the comet and there’s more than enough left to make the third ship. this extra comet material is definitely going to come into play somehow. it’s likely going to become the head of the sincline ships but i’d love if it became the white lion and allura piloted it. not that i think allura has to be a paladin to be valuable, but she seems to want to be one (and i just want my bb to be happy so yknow).

i mean we got a white lion, just not in the way i anticipated lol. i'm still holding out hope for a robot white lion from the extra comet material tho

keith’s heritage to be revealed. how galra is he? who is his mother?? can we meet her??? we know she was a blade but i want to know how she ended up on earth. it’d make sense if she was half galra half altean/polluxian.

ok so his heritage wasnt revealed per se but WE MET HIS MOM!!!! krolia literally looks like purple keith lmao. i expect that we'll hear the story of how she met his dad next season. also she looks mixed race. here's a post i made on why i believe she's half polluxian

yeah okay so i really think keith is part altean/polluxian. i need an explanation as to why he looks so damn human and that one fits for me.

i also really need to know why the hell keith could sense the blue lion. it’s been 39 episodes give me some answers @lauren @jds @entire vld crew.

the “for narti” squad to join team voltron. i know it’s unlikely because of lotor allying with the team, (and the trailer showing them with zarkon) but i really do think those girls deserve a chance at redemption. they’re such interesting characters and i’d love to see them interact with the team.

i also really need to know what the connection between keith and acxa is. we really haven’t seen any payoff for them meeting in the weblum or him recognising her in s3 ep6. she took a bag of scaultrite which could’ve been hinting that they have an altean (aka lotor) but they just as easily could’ve dropped that hint by how they tried to steal a piece of the teludav. acxa’s connection to keith seems to be something else at play. my hope is twins, or at least siblings.

more hints that there's something there but nothing confirmed yet. but (as explained in my polluxian krolia post linked above) acxa and krolia have the exact same eyes with the light-coloured pupils so i'm almost certain acxa and keith are siblings

narti comes back tbh. i don’t know how that would happen but i miss her and i want her back.

team voltron returns to the original lineup. i like matching colours, what can i say.

ok i massively downplayed that but seriously the bond between paladin and lion was so hyped up in s1 and s2 that the lion shuffle will never quite sit right with me. blue chose lance out of all available paladins. she didn’t go back to the castle on her own and take allura. she chose lance. that’s gotta mean something. and red has gone after keith too many times for their relationship to be over now. 4 times in one season. he loves his tiny fleshy son pls reunite them.

hunk’s family. i want to know about them. i want him to mention them at the very least. i know tyler said hunk’s mom taught him how to cook so please let him say this in canon. also acknowledge him being samoan in canon please and thanks.

he mentioned his mom at least. 

lance’s “i’m just a boy from cuba” line. i thought it’d be in s3 but nope. i don’t mind waiting for his arc because i appreciate that it’s a long one, but i’m really curious as to the context of that line. also i want to know all the people in the picture from s1 ep2.

we got some names! marco, luis and veronica aww. obvs thats not everyone but i've got my guesses as to who's who. marco and luis are green t-shirt and blue shirt, veronica is white dress, mom is orange dress, grandma is pink cardigan, and the rest are his dad, grandpa, aunt, green t-shirt's wife and their two kids (aka lance's niece and nephew)

allura and coran talking about what altea was like before the war. just some cultural background.

coran’s family, if he had one. i want to know more about this man and what he lost when altea was destroyed.

more alteans in THIS reality because there’s no way this race of diplomats were all on the planet when it was destroyed. i don’t buy that, soz.

polluxians! i really want the alteans with two sets of markings in s3 ep7 to be polluxians. mainly because i want romelle to be introduced. apparently she’s badass. more badass girls is always a yes from me.

zaggar dynamic. does zarkon know that haggar was honerva? seems so, considering how he indulges her far more than he does anyone else. does he know that she knows now?

friendship. i know that sounds really lame lmao but i really do want friendship. i want the team to hangout. i want to see pairs or trios hanging out. i want casual team banter. i want wacky shenanigans. blease.,,,,.,. @dreamworks,.,.,,. just let these dorks be friends.

garrison trio......coming through.,.,,.,in clutch. they really just saved my life like that huh.i can't believe im so blessed

lance not being possessive of allura….ever again. please stop it’s uncomf. if they’re going down the romance route for them, cool. but do it by showing allura somewhat reciprocating lance’s interest. please don’t encourage the “guy hounds the girl until she agrees” trope. it’s harassment. lance has backed off from flirting and that’s great but if there’s gonna be a romance there, maybe have allura flirt instead.

it's debatable but i'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt and say he wasn't possessive of her so much as he was worried for her safety with trick ass bitch lotor hanging around

if there isn’t a romance there, just give me them being good friends blease. their relationship has been so good and mutually supportive so please continue with that. facemask buddies would be a blessing. i’d actually cry.

that scene in the training room is actually so blessed. i love life. i love them. i love.

more of that good co-leadership shallura content. keep allura in charge 2kforever. also let them confide in each other. it’s tough being a leader. also also, let them be soft please i beg. throw it back to the softness in s2 ep5. that level of softness is what i crave.

it's not co-leadership shallura bc its not shiro but! they're definitely both in leadership positions so im loving it. allura was very much in charge and i'm so happy

the team convincing keith that they’ll always love him and he doesn’t have to push them away because they’ll never leave him. help this boy overcome his fear of rejection please.

keith comforting lance in a way that actually, uh, works. i appreciate his effort in s3 ep6 but he’s gotta do better than that for them to have a balanced friendship.

lotor’s plan. i really need to know exactly what this boy is up to?? he wants to reap an “untold amount more” quintessence to do what? it’s surely not for the empire’s benefit - he doesn’t care about them. so why? is it something to do with his mother? also, why couldn’t his ships cross into the other reality? they’re made of the same thing as voltron?

#i got 11 things i wanted!!!!!!!!! #and there's at least 7 more that i think will come next few seasons #so i'm feeling good!! #really enjoyed s5 actually #my favourite since s1 #vlds5 #vld #vld analysis #vld wishlist #vld meta

[groundramon]

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

[heartsoftruth]

What bag do you love in the picture of ney davi and bruna?

The one she has with her, but there aren’t any other photos of it. 

Anonymous said:I still find it weird that Carol doesn’t follow Neymar 🤔

She doesn’t? I never noticed, but we all know they have a good and mature relationship. Social media is not important to me tbh. 

Anonymous said:Brumar will be on/off for many more years to come. Bruna is 22 and Ney is almost 26. It’ll go on until they approach their 30’s and realise their self worth.

We can only wait and see what will happen. 

Anonymous said:I don’t want to be mean (okay maybe just a little). But I see people saying that Bruna does not need pr, but in the “past” she has already had a fake relationship and has already been in a “date” with a singer and their team warned some paparazzi who “caught” they two. So pr is noting new to her.

How do you know her team warned the paps?? 

Anonymous said:P1. I think Bruna and Neymar both love the attention and publicity they are getting from their relationship. It seems like they are more in love with the idea of their relationship, I mean two of the most famous people in Brazil, than they are with each other. That is probably why they broke up so many times. If they were in love and “strong” just like they always say they are, they would be able to hold their relationship without any break ups or just breaks.Anonymous said:P2. They should ask themselves how much time they have to play games with each other. Bruna is young but Neymar is going on to his 26th birthday. It’s not just one of them who loves the spotlight because that relationship would’ve ended after the first or the second time of trying. Unless they become aware of the fact that they love what the person offers to them and not the actual person, they will continue breaking up and getting back together.Anonymous said:P3. After a break up they, especially Neymar, probably feel alone, not because the person, Bruna, isn’t there but the attention and love from the outside (Brumars) isn’t there too to cheer on their love, affection and actions. The idea of their relationship happening seems like it’s being misinterpreted as pure, selfless love in their relationship. That’s not only unhealthy but a vicious circle that will continue until one actually realises that they have to buckle up or let go of each other.Anonymous said:P4. Their relationship doesn’t have to be PR. When attention and encouragement is their foundation, they don’t need peopleto tell them to get together. People remember the feelings they get from one person. If Neymar and Bruna love the attention, they are going to remember the love and affection that may not be from within but that obviously doesn’t matter to them. Their relationship isn’t with passion, intimacy or commitment. It’s more of fatuous love.Anonymous said:P5. The Triangular theory of love by Robert Sternberg is my reference. Fatuous love is a relationship, often marriages, that exist with passion and with commitment. In this case their passion is shown by declarations and displays of their love publicly. I don’t know much about their commitment but it seems like they don’t cheat in any form on their partner. This is my theory (and kind of my experiment) because I’m reading about the psychology behind ‘love’ currently.

I think you’re right about Ney missing the affection and feeling of someone loving him and to come home too. 

I think they both have to put much effort in the relationship (also bc of the distance), but in all honesty I think they did that last time too. She was often in Barcelona and when she was she was there for a really long time. She was with him on vacay in the US and then Africa… Only thing that lacked - looking at it from the outside - was her supporting him from the stands. 

I dont get btw you say: “Their relationship isn’t with passion, intimacy or commitment. It’s more of fatuous love.”

Then you say: “Fatuous love is a relationship, often marriages, that exist with passion and with commitment”

So do they or do they lack passion and commitment? I was confused by that part. 

Anonymous said:Yep.. Libra and Gemini’s are the best match for Aquarius because they’re air signs. Kinda funny because Libra’s are dubbed the “soul mate” sign for Aquarius and guess who’s a Libra? CAROLINA LOL. All jokes aside, Astrology can be fun to get into but I’m a firm believer of God so hey who knows, maybe God has a plan for Ney&Bruna. Despite them being astrologically incompatible 😂

Hahah, well then I need to meet Ney 😜😜😜

Indeed if they’re meant to be: they will make it. I also believe in that. 

Anonymous said:[ part 1 ] their relationship is weirder than it ever had been before. You can clearly see that both are now way more active on instagram, especialy Bruna. She is getting over 1M likes now that she is back with him, she sometimes got 1M but now she gets in on every damn pic. And they also comment every time on each others post i mean ofc you can do that but EVERY DAMN TIME ?! another thing why it seems so forced. they are literally giving the “brumar” fans what they want.Anonymous said:[ part 2 ] on the websides with the „HIGH QUALITY PAPARAZZI PICTURES„ of Brumar all over the world speaks of her either as his „model girlfriend or the „Deus Salve o Rei actress„ and they are kissing so weird to me ?!?! i mean i saw Kevin&Izabel kissing next to them but it was far more delicate and cute. Btw Ney seemed taken back by her smashing her lips to her. She is an actress after all so she sure knows how to „handle„ all this.Anonymous said:[ part 3 ] the boat pics: oh well….. one fucking mood: „😴🌚„ Davi looked bored as fuuuuck dayum #MOOD. who the fuck brings their kid on a boring boat tour like that?! I remember Davi going on a boat party with Carol (tbh everywhere Carol goes with him it seems so fun!) and there was music and he was enjoying himself with her cute boyfriend who seems to be bonding quite well with him!! 💖 im happy for that since Neymar had only eyes for Bruna and Davi was only good for their pics lmao.Anonymous said:[ part 4 ] there is such a difference in the pictures of Ca/her bf/davi, where their pics seem more of a real, normal and simple. and Neymar/Bruna/Davi, too much trying to shape a perfect reality of life. which DOES NOT EXIST. I don’t see the passion in that „„„family„„„ pic of them. I have seen Davi kissing Ney’s cheek but someone just said kiss his cheek and he just did and that was kinda it, no passion whatsoever. all pics of him davi and bruna lack it. bye now imdone w this 4-part analysis😂Anonymous said:Bruna is getting a million likes & has about 1 million followers more than before. It’s just quite strange that she constantly posts about advertisements (on her stories and half of the post of the last week). She and her team is taking advantage of the situation pretty well.Anonymous said:Considering she hardly ever posts on Instagram, Bruna is sure milking the latest publicity stunt for all it’s worth. Well she has gained over 600k followers since NYE so i’m not shocked

Yeah I agree: it feels like they’re trying to force that ‘best couple of the world’ vibe on you. Like even Jelena wasnt that extra when they met up and continue to meet up tbh. They just looked really cute on that bike having fun (to compare comeback couples haha). 

And indeed her Insta - promo -activity together with the increase of followers is also just…. Maybe a coincidence, but a very lucky one then… 

Davi on that boat looked bored indeed, but we can’t say they didn’t do anything fun. I mean with Carol he indeed looked like he had more fun, but thats also bc they made it fun for him. Jumping off the boat and peddling on the sea… I think Ney didn’t thought that one out well and the fact that Davi likes to do things (like any kid his age). Like I said its also easier to bound when you do things with the other person. That way you also have something to talk about haha. 

I dont think he’s using him for pics or anything. But I agree the perfect family doesn’t excist. The perfect life doesn’t excist nor does the perfect person. Everyone has a scar or something going on in their lives. You may not see it, but everyone has their issues/thins they deal with. 

Anonymous said:i saw a non talking about a astrology i have to say I read a thousands and thousands of their sinastry and what seems to be the bigger problem is that they don’t know how to overcome problems and they tend to rush things too much, she is a Leo with moon in Scorpio and rising in Taurus, he is an Aquarius with moon in pieces and rising in Sagittarius (by the moon you can see they have an affinity) he has Mars in cap and shes in libra (they are so different in every level) shes a romantic and he’sAnonymous said:hes a person who all of his energies are directed to work and stuff.. and he has Venus in Capricorn she has in Leo. His Venus in cap searchs for estabilish in love, hes a serious type of person in that aspect (which means he won’t believe in anything crazy or a partner who claim they are in love too quickly) and she wants to be the star in the relationship wants a partner who will be her prince that explain why shes so into romance and all and why whenever shes with him it has to be all bout herAnonymous said:that could explain why they always coming and go, hes a person who gets too comfortable and established his entire future upon that person but at the same time hes an Aquarius who loves freedom and meeting people and shes a Leo who loves romance (she probably thinks it’s cute the fact hes come back she may the one and she like it) overall their sinastry says that the magnetic between it’s quick and the overall understanding it’s so easy between then but they are childish they love it all but+Anonymous said:but at the same time they hate, one proof that he didn’t mature yet it’s because he’s not into bullshit and drama and shes ain’t too but when they with each other they don’t care and it it’s the bigger problem

I have like basic knowledge of horoscopes. So this went way above my head also because I didn’t understand some of the words I think…. 

Like this: “Leo with moon in Scorpio and rising in Taurus, he is an Aquarius with moon in pieces and rising in Sagittarius (by the moon you can see they have an affinity) he has Mars in cap and shes in libra.”  OR “and he has Venus in Capricorn she has in Leo.”

I did my best and I really find horoscopes interesting, but this is a little too hard for me to understand… You did made me wonder how the moon etc is in my horoscope haha. I’m gonna search for that! 

And I like the second part of your message when you explain more about the Zodiac signs of them and personality. I think you can be really right with that tbh. 

Anonymous said:there was a rumour back in the day that the whole brumar thing started when neymar was looking for a woman with a clean image since he used to be seen with a lot of women ex BBB chicks and etc and first he was looking after marina but barbosa but something happened and he ended it up with Bruna.

I think I read about that too. But that rumor started around her wedding right? Or a little before… She’s a sweetheart and a gorgeous woman, but I dont think Ney’s type. 

Anonymous said:Which celebrity do you think would look good with Neymar? Just aesthetically.

I think Bruna looks good with him tbh. 

Anonymous said:Does bru not wear her ring that ney got

No idea… Sorry. 

Anonymous said:Hey what does Carol do ? Like is she studying or working?

No idea. I think she was studying something, but I think she stopped… She has that clothing line.

Anonymous said:Hmm, betcha all the money in the world she’ll turn up to Paris late Feb/early March during Paris Fashion Week. She turned up to the Paris Haute Couture Week in July. I believe that was her first ever appearance at Fashion Week. She wouldn’t miss out on the chance of “mingling” with her “idols” Kendall, Gigi etc.

Ughhh. Frontrow with Balmain then I guess… 

Anonymous said:Thank you for tagging your asks! 😘

No problem! (but I’m gonna tag this as well so I dont know if you gonna see haha). 

Anonymous said:So were gonna get a new Brumar pic everyday until the new novel series 😏☕️

#countdown haha. 

#anonymous #brumar

[ryuzaki]

Netflix’s Death Note: Cont’ Chat Logs

After a brief intermission I end up just “liveblogging” my reactions to aiko (matt-chan). I tried to cut out any filler and make this as cohesive as possible while also not spoiling much. Under cut because this is also long.

[8/25/2017 5:25:24 AM] ryuzaki: i was originally gonna watch this then watch it again and write notes but idk if i can watch this more than once [8/25/2017 5:25:34 AM] matt-chan: Dud3 i prob can [8/25/2017 5:25:51 AM] matt-chan: Its so bad but i keep watching - [8/25/2017 5:38:23 AM] ryuzaki: if watari is the chubby japanese man can i just say [8/25/2017 5:38:29 AM] ryuzaki: him and L saved me [8/25/2017 5:40:18 AM] ryuzaki: oh shit nevermind watari lookin weird but at least they got the inventor part of him right - [8/25/2017 5:45:08 AM] ryuzaki: they made L messy? i dont understand [8/25/2017 5:45:17 AM] ryuzaki: I like him except for that fact - [8/25/2017 5:46:24 AM] ryuzaki: [goes back to light n mia] i forget why did i hate them [they immediately speak] oh Thats why - [8/25/2017 5:49:02 AM] ryuzaki: also ive been laughing at how accurate the watari giving soichiro(?) an ice cream cone is [8/25/2017 5:49:07 AM] ryuzaki: thats literally the best part of this [8/25/2017 5:49:14 AM] matt-chan: WATARI IS THE BEST [8/25/2017 5:49:47 AM] ryuzaki: him and L save this. they arent perfect but if they were the star of the show id watch it and be able to stomach it [8/25/2017 5:51:51 AM] matt-chan: Yes - [8/25/2017 5:54:23 AM] ryuzaki: Light and L dont have any interaction before this newscast.. Light doesnt even know who he is (soichiro never even mentioned him and it was alluded to that L isn't very well known to even law enforcement) why was light so angry? why would he care about who this was? [8/25/2017 5:57:00 AM] ryuzaki: oh okay they ask about him after...... but i still dont get why they chose this route..? did mia know who he was? it wouldve been better shot if he was watching the news to write more people down and all the channels got interrupted by the conference. [8/25/2017 5:59:56 AM] ryuzaki: the importance of the scene in the manga was that L realized he had a pattern of when he killed people and made sure his broadcast was on during the time light would be watching the news, then to prove his name/face theory he put lind L taylor up on the screen with his full face and name revealed and made him kill him, only for L to start talking and direct his message towards light then (with only the L logo and a voice changer broadcasting), taking an educated gamble on if light could kill whoever he wanted without those two things. [8/25/2017 6:00:03 AM] ryuzaki: im hung up on this scene........................... but anyway - [8/25/2017 6:00:26 AM] matt-chan: Im just mad about L not having a voice changer [8/25/2017 6:00:41 AM] ryuzaki: YEAH that was so odd.... - [8/25/2017 6:01:18 AM] ryuzaki: light isnt even light

[8/25/2017 6:02:57 AM] ryuzaki: like him and mia arent even relatively close to their original characters so it feels like im watching two people named similarly but otheriwse have no connection. part of me hates them but the other part of me is like "lol well why are you even mad, they basically just made a new spinoff character" [8/25/2017 6:04:15 AM] matt-chan: I have a feeling this will end differently [8/25/2017 6:04:21 AM] matt-chan: They cut a lot of the story already [8/25/2017 6:04:29 AM] matt-chan: Its just a summary /spin off [8/25/2017 6:05:56 AM] ryuzaki: they havent really went into the detail of lights stradegies.. like theyre talking about light going quiet because raye penber(?) is following them and say not to fuck around with the dn but that would be obvious.......... thats one of the main things theyd be looking for [8/25/2017 6:06:24 AM] ryuzaki: nowhere in this story have they shown their light as smart besides doing basic algebra in the first two minutes [8/25/2017 6:06:37 AM] ryuzaki: also true i was thinking honestly L may win [8/25/2017 6:06:46 AM] ryuzaki: Like be alive and win - [8/25/2017 6:07:08 AM] matt-chan: No [8/25/2017 6:07:20 AM] matt-chan: This movie is finally finished for me I am Livid (note: not done with the movie. at a particular scene with Watari) - [8/25/2017 6:07:20 AM] ryuzaki: i dont think the wammy boys are in this tbh. with the whole not being able to see ryuk they already took away a large chunk of the ending [8/25/2017 6:08:33 AM] ryuzaki: wheres rem. wheres my saving grace girl - [8/25/2017 6:09:30 AM] ryuzaki: mia: i was the right one, not you light, the smart one: oh fuck lol [8/25/2017 6:10:24 AM] matt-chan: HAHAHAHAHAHA [8/25/2017 6:10:28 AM] matt-chan: “theres so many fucking rules” [8/25/2017 6:10:44 AM] ryuzaki: they really show that these are kids. like....... "i was thinking we could make some popcorn and write some names down" like........... do you want me to take this seriously.......... theyre like 12. they arent trying to change the world theyre just some kids who thinks killing people is fun. - [8/25/2017 6:11:58 AM] ryuzaki: also all i can imagine is lights dad walking in the door at some point and wondering why the house occasionally is littered with apple cores - [8/25/2017 6:13:25 AM] ryuzaki: ohh so she took the death note im guessing [8/25/2017 6:13:47 AM] ryuzaki: my issue is how did she get the names????? [8/25/2017 6:14:37 AM] ryuzaki: im waiting for this movie to end without ever knowing how L dies because they just kill him without revealing his name/how they found it [8/25/2017 6:15:32 AM] ryuzaki: he blames ryuk.. why would ryuk do this.. [8/25/2017 6:19:20 AM] ryuzaki: i... dont get this movie at all... there is so much to talk about... so many issues... why would L be out in public during this time, why is ryuk the bad guy, why is light so emotional, why is light so STUPID (yet considered smart in the story?) - [8/25/2017 6:20:04 AM] matt-chan: I am upset [8/25/2017 6:20:05 AM] ryuzaki: why would soichiro go out in public and do this... is this how they find out who kira is? because he wont kill his dad? the real light would kill his dad [8/25/2017 6:20:08 AM] matt-chan: I am. More livit [8/25/2017 6:20:17 AM] ryuzaki: im so fuckin worried by that [8/25/2017 6:20:40 AM] ryuzaki: i feel like youre hard to get angry with this kinda thing - [8/25/2017 6:21:00 AM] matt-chan: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [8/25/2017 6:21:07 AM] matt-chan: IM IN TEARS BUT [8/25/2017 6:21:09 AM] matt-chan: IM SAD [8/25/2017 6:21:11 AM] matt-chan: AND LAUGJING - [8/25/2017 6:27:40 AM] ryuzaki: why did L show his face and make an incredibly public scene while talking about kira..... its not as bad as the rest of the things in this movie but its still questionable. if they werent making a scene about kira id let it pass - [8/25/2017 6:29:12 AM] ryuzaki: WATARI ISNT HIS REAL NAME YOU FUCKING IDIOT - [8/25/2017 6:30:29 AM] matt-chan: I finished it (note: now she means the movie) [8/25/2017 6:31:07 AM] ryuzaki: he didnt even have him call a burner phone. if L finds the notebook wouldnt this be even more damning evidence that light is kira (that is, if he doesnt burn the page) [8/25/2017 6:31:12 AM] ryuzaki: dont spoil please - [8/25/2017 6:34:29 AM] ryuzaki: nnnnnn [8/25/2017 6:42:03 AM] ryuzaki: ohhhhhhhh the normal people scare me in his locker with the ahs font im So Embarrassed. - [8/25/2017 6:43:01 AM] ryuzaki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo (note: my reaction to the same scene with Watari) - [8/25/2017 6:45:51 AM] ryuzaki: oh how interesting they DO say how she does it with the fbi task force [8/25/2017 6:46:31 AM] ryuzaki: HOLY SHIT..... MIA IS EVIL.............................. [8/25/2017 6:46:45 AM] ryuzaki: "THERES SO MANY FUCKING RULES" [8/25/2017 6:48:57 AM] ryuzaki: omg i hope he ends up dyingggggggg i hope she does too - [8/25/2017 6:49:59 AM] ryuzaki: L Cant Fuckin Drive - [8/25/2017 6:50:48 AM] ryuzaki: apparently this is the version of death note where everyone has Too Many emotions [8/25/2017 6:52:43 AM] ryuzaki: also this is so fucking stupid the chase is making me laugh why did they do this - [8/25/2017 6:54:00 AM] ryuzaki: OHHH DUDE I HATE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [8/25/2017 6:54:11 AM] ryuzaki: WHAT A CHEAP FUCKING TACTIC (note: a scene with light and L) - [8/25/2017 6:57:57 AM] matt-chan: Bahahaha [8/25/2017 6:58:03 AM] matt-chan: The song they played on the ferris wheel (few minutes later) [8/25/2017 7:03:34 AM] ryuzaki: AHAHA THE SONG [8/25/2017 7:05:35 AM] ryuzaki: OH THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID - [8/25/2017 7:02:14 AM] ryuzaki: is the moral of this story that you should never trust high school romance..... cause thats what im getting - [8/25/2017 7:09:02 AM] ryuzaki: i like how he was i guess in a coma and his dad comes in and doesnt fucking care he woke up [8/25/2017 7:09:14 AM] ryuzaki: like hes just awake n his dads like [shrug] - [8/25/2017 7:15:41 AM] ryuzaki: okay so it just ended and honestly the only issue with the ending was not knowing if L wrote Lights name down [8/25/2017 7:16:06 AM] ryuzaki: just because its like. Well i dont fucking know what he'd do, your L and the original L end up very different at the half way mark [8/25/2017 7:16:34 AM] ryuzaki: but if they kept things completely new like they did near the end i think it wouldve been interesting [8/25/2017 7:17:32 AM] ryuzaki: the main issue is that i couldnt enjoy it because it was clearly labled as a reboot to the original story, and not another one that happens in the same universe as the death note one (where the death note exists that is) [8/25/2017 7:18:39 AM] ryuzaki: if they had made a whole new story and just had the death note in it and new people, maybe at the most keep ryuk in if you really want a reoccurring character, it would be not great but a fun watch

#2017 death note #netflix death note #death note

[chaosflight]

nightmare log 1

okay so i’m going to start logging these fucking nightmares

tw: violence mention ghost mention blood mention death mention

from what i can remember, it started off like any of the other bizarre dreams i’ve had this past week and a half, kinda hazy and kinda trying to tell a story, but mostly in a way that was all supposed to be subtext if it were a film.  it’s divided kinda into five parts, the first being the longest

the first part was the most coherent. it was almost like it was based off my favorite older film, the ghost and mrs. muir, where there was a lady who was alive and a fella who was not, except it was a trick.  they were both dead, ghosts to each other, repeating their lives over and over with these sorts of hints at each other.  the actual dream (i guess all that information was subtext) starts as she’s seeking him out in all the places she’s met him.  i guess that those things are always consistent? and their memories of each other always remain, no matter how many times they relive their already over lives.  she looks for him in her room, by the treeline, in the garden, and lastly by the fire pit.  

the first time she does this, she only sees charcoal sketchy shadows of him, and can’t interact.  the second time, she does interact with him, but something is changed, somehow.  she spoke to him, but he didn’t interact with her at all, like he was ignoring her.  She saw him from her bedroom in the fire pit, and went out to meet him since he wasn’t in the room, but he ran away from her by the trees, and in the garden, he was entertaining guests and couldn’t respond in his timeline.  so she had this small soliloquy that was supposed to be for him, about how she loves him so much, “like the wood in this pit, i want to be consumed.  but then the fire sets in, and the burns are too great” and then one more line, but she cut out.  i couldn’t hear her, because somehow she was now a charchoal ghost too, and we were at the fire pit instead of the garden, and she burned up and disappeared.  

then it flips over to him being the one ‘alive’, and he sees her from his bedroom by the fire, chases her immediately down to the garden, where the party is going, but all his guests are half ghosty and half there, so he ignores them.  She asks him to follow, i think? and then suddenly they’re at the fire pit, and she’s a charcoal ghost burning in long forgotten embers, and the guy hears her message, but again the only thing i can hear is those two lines, and then she’s cut off.  but, instead of disappearing, he steps into the fire with her, and says something like, ‘let us burn together, then’, and then they both become ghosts squared??? it’s implied that they died, again, or that perhaps their actual deaths were suicide by ghost or something.  

they turn into human outlines, holding eac h other’s hands, neither one in any way distinguishable from the other, and fly away down a street.  this is the end of part one.

the dream then takes a wild turn into some kinda commentary on goofy?  where goofy and his son are ghosts, and he’s kinda teaching his son about his history, but idk enough about it for it to be a factually realistic dream, so it very quickly veers into the third part:

we’re in our garage and we somehow had to fight for the legal ownership of the content of our garage?  like our stuff had all been there so long that the government somehow was allowed to possess it.  it’s worth noting that while the garage is implied to be the same one as the house we live in now, it starts out as actually the SIZE of the house in the dream.  there’s a lot of shit in there.  it’s also implied that i’m closer to my thirties, maybe even exactly ten years older, and it’s been a hot second since we’ve seen any of this stuff and it’s apparently really important.  

anyway, we’ve got literal construction equipment in the garage (bc it’s grown) to pull our shit down from these massive piles they’ve developed into, and as we move things we start discovering stuff, and this part goes pretty par for the course as far as growing architecture and mountains of petty trash being sorted can go.  

we’re halfway through when we discover my section.  there’s tvs and cameras.  oh my god, so many cameras.  i take so long reminiscing over them all that the rest of my family goes to lunch, i guess?  i’m alone, anyway, and the garage is somehow smaller again, but still pretty fucking huge.  There’s this one.  this one camera, that seems important, but i can’t remember how, but i want to go show mom and dad this particular one, maybe bc it’s the first? my first video camera? and as i’m walking back to show them, be all like ‘hey lookit this fucking relic lol’ i’m looking at the memory.  there’s nothing on it, which is weird bc i never delete  shit.  that’s a real life thing, i just do not delete things.  so i figured, hey, maybe it’s broken, so i open it up, turn the camera and the view finder around so i can selfie but see myself, and FUCKING SLENDERMAN IS IN MY CAMERA

i turn around, and he’s right there.  i fucking bolt.  he was putting out some FUCK OFF vibes.  i’m running further into the garage though, instead of into the house like i wanted in the first place, and that’s where it changes again?

this fourth part features a co-worker of mine, who i like to call mike wazowski, bc his first name is mike.  and it’s like a goddamn rick and morty scenario, where i’m morty and he’s rick, and we’re being brought before an alternate universe xenomorph queen that’s being held captive/protected by some unnamed government agency.  except the queen is male?  somehow thats important, except it’s literally never important again.  anyway, he’s enormous.  imagine the scale of a regular xenomorph to a standard queen, and that’s the scale of a regular queen to this AU queen.  he’s big. 

we’re in handcuffs, and i’m kind of unresponsive.  my mind is not in my bod.  i watch the whole sequence from very far away in this big white room where it’s all taking place.  the people who’ve got us captured/escorting us present the queen with another xenomorph, .  wait, no, there was a big buff angry lady first, who was yelling at us for upsetting the queen, and then pompously strode forward to apologize for this awful thing we did, and he fucking killed her and ate her.  he used one giant gross finger to impale her and then he ate her. it was horrifiying, even from my fortunate distance.  

THEN the rest of the guys present the queen with another xenomorph, which he then similarly eats, although more like a spider eats stuff.  he shot out his secondary mouth, and it clamped onto the other xeno’s back, and it shrivelled up and.  yeah.  while he’s doing that, he’s telepathically scolding us for ‘dealing with such a blight’.  and mike’s like ‘yeah, great going christina’, even though i’m fuckin catatonic.  i think he knew i could still hear him?? idk.  

the queen then continues to explain that we’ve opened some something, and that this Greatere Monster is now going to do it’s very best to fucking wreck our whole dimension, which apparently includes several universes?  i’m not sure that’s how string theory works but queeny mcmurder seemed pretty fucking sure. and then the dream switches.

this is part five.  it’s the worst, for me, personally.  

it starts with what’s obviously a recording, but i’m viewing it like I AM the camera, but i’m also IN the recording.  and me and these people are walking around a little kids playground.  everything is normal except this one installation.  it’s a big, pointy, metal mess of barely recognizable imagery.  it’s like if slendy and a xeno had a baby, and it’s skeleton was shifting through three different planes and someone took a photo and then lovingly rendered it in cast iron for all to play with.  

it was so weird.  it was so alive, even as a statue.  i walked through it, around it, we all did, and it was so eerie.  it was a thing that Should Not Exist.  it seemed like it could come alive at any moment and just.  destroy everything. 

and then suddenly i wasn’t in the recording, and i wasn’t a camera anymore, and i was. trapped.  inside it’s body.  the same skeletal, misshapen metal abomination was holding me, gently, but also not at all.  like it didn’t want to break me, but it would not let me leave.  i cried, so much.  i’d been there so long.  there was no light, only touch, and the only thing there was to touch was horror itself.  i wasn’t on earth, or in space, and space didn’t seem to matter.  neither did time, except that it just kept happening, the same insufferable moment happening forever, like a scream that never dies.  

the thing spoke to me.  it’s voice was impossible to describe.  it was grating like tin or steel, but it was also soft and smooth, whispery.  it seemed to be deafening, but it was also like a sigh.  i felt so many mouths against my face and shoulders as it spoke to me.  not all of them were human or even animalistic as anything i could name on earth.  i got impressions of what it was trying to tell me, but i didn’t know exactly what it wanted, except for me to stay there, forever in that impossible moment.  

sometimes there would be these.. animals? that would come near, when the thing slept.  it turned back into metal, and i was trapped in it’s frozen body, trying to wiggle out.  they were like rabbits, kind of hunched over and they moved haltingly.  they talked, and i could tell what they were saying.  they whispered, so jealously, ‘you’re living our dream’ over and over, ‘what you’re experiencing would be paradise to us!’ and then they would bite at my fingers and make them bleed, but the damage never lasted, i always healed from whatever they did to me, only the THING could really hurt me.  

and if it woke up when they were there, it would tear them apart, and i’d get drenched in their blood and their screams would get trapped in my head.  they were so happy to die by this awful thing that wouldn’t let me go.  

towards the end of the dream, what really felt like decades of being in that unseeing place, i was trying to hold together some hope i’d get out, and i remembered.  i remembered i love to sing, and that i always believed that singing could scare away wicked things, or at least make me feel better.  so, still bawling because i was so fucking terrified, i tried to sing.

and then i woke up.  not all the way.  but i was definitely away that i was in my bed, and so, so stiff.  like i hadn’t moved all night.  one leg under the cover, one leg out, and face down in the pillow, just like i like it.  i mentally recapped everything that happened in the dream to the best of my ability, and i feel like i’ve got an accurate summation of everything.  it doesn’t capture the feelings, though. the ghost story was wistful and sad, the goofy bit was supposed to be a continuation of that sense of.. losing out on something, the garage part was the spooky preamble to the paralyzingly terrifying fifth part, and the fourth part was... just really ominous.

the weirdest part to me is how stiff i am all over, but i somehow managed to get my leg out of my enormous comforter, and how my hair is super fucked up, even though, again, i was incredibly still all night.  i’m probably just scaring myself at this point, but it did freak me out.

so some real life things to mention: i’ve been asking for a video camera for christmas bc i want to start a video diary, and my phone is just.  unreliable.  

mike is usually a pretty snarky guy, and we closed the store together last night, so that’s probably why he made an appearance.

i stayed up super late last night recording stuff, and it was super dark and super quiet by then, so i was kind of freaking myself out before i went to bed anyway.

i did not have any wine or sleep aid last night, so my parents telling me it’s one or both of those things, HA!! i also didn’t eat anything when i came home, so it’s not that either.

i love slender man stories and the aliens franchise a lot, but i’ve never really been super scared of them before.

okay, that’s it.