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#the act of seeing with one's own eyes
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Films watched in 2022.
Top 15 Best Movies Watched for the First Time in 2022.
1. Light Sleeper (Paul Schrader, 1992) 2. Días de otoño (Roberto Gavaldón, 1963)   3. Holiday (George Cukor, 1938) 4. Tongues Untied (Marlon Riggs, 1989) 5. Al primo soffio di vento (Franco Piavoli, 2002) 6. Io la conoscevo bene (Antonio Pietrangeli, 1965) 7. His Motorbike, Her Island (Nobuhiko Ôbayashi, 1986) 8. Aparajito (Satyajit Ray, 1956) 9. Nobody’s Business (Alan Berliner, 1996) 10. Chilly Scenes of Winter (Joan Micklin Silver, 1979) 11. Simone Barbès ou la vertu (Marie-Claude Treilhou, 1980) 12. Colegas (Eloy de la Iglesia, 1982) 13. The Act of Seeing with One’s Own Eyes (Stan Brakhage, 1971) 14. The Revolt of Mamie Stover (Raoul Walsh, 1956) 15. The Velvet Vampire (Stephanie Rothman, 1971)
This has been a really tough year, since September it’s been difficult for me to see movies. That's why I want to mention the TV show Booklyn Nine-Nine that literally saved my life. Hopefully 2023 brings better memories. Happy New Year to you all, love you ♥
(My list in Letterboxd -click here-)
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celestialmega · 5 months
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The Act of Seeing with One's Own Eyes by Stan Brakhage.
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lafiguraentutapiz · 1 year
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The Act of Seeing with One’s Own Eyes. Stan Brakhage. 1972
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otaku553 · 6 months
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I have an agenda.
Long hair teenage sabo.
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quietwingsinthesky · 26 days
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“least favorite” isn’t anywhere close to bad. it just shows how damn hard the competition is going, but we’re talking about gold medals all around for each actor i’ve seen portray the doctor so far.
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bruhstation · 1 year
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the journey of gordon juniperus gresley (and still ongoing)
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shizukais · 1 year
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#anime#manga#vanitas no carte#vnc#the case study of vanitas#lord ruthven#august ruthven#hear me out ! ruthven is one of the most intriguing characters to me#despite being portrayed as an antagonist i can't really see him completely fitting into that role / ruthven's actions are ambiguous#yea yeah he's a manipulative mf and is doing bad things now but i don't think that's what it's all about#i believe ruthven is being controlled by something (?) through his right eye and has no much choice in that matter#in the scene where ruthven tried to put a curse on chloe he looks almost shocked when he realizes what he was doing#he also spoke to someone who wasn't there and it seemed to be an act of desperation / even though the war was already over (?) by that time#the eye shows him terrible things ever since the war (and the betrayal that i'm not sure if really happened or was staged to trick him)#i think the continuous trauma the eye causes on him shaped him to be a colder and more cruel person#the opposite of what his original self showed to be (someone more like noe in beliefs and world view)#i guess he truly believes he's doing this for the sake of vampires / that idea of “sacrifices will be necessary for the greater good”#this could explain the alliance w charlatan who seeks to find a way to create more vampires (moreau's research) & rewrite the world formula#also it's clear that ruthven has a distorted view of vampire's malnomen (what caused that? what he saw in the war?)#both for his speech referring to luca's brother “salvation takes many forms (...)” and for the way he uses his own curse on others#until now we know he cursed queen faustina / jeanne / noe (i doubt he would betray the queen without a reason)#maybe his right eye is a malnomen he considers now as a form of freedom / or maybe that allowed him to finally see the “truth”#and yet i think his character is constantly questioning himself about it (in a very sutil way)#(e.g. when he listens noe talk about his ideals / when he sees jeanne dressed like a normal girl after her date)#in these moments we can see him falter a little bit and his expression changes to something more soft and genuine / introspective and sad#the curse he put on noe i think it has more than 1 purpose: 1)trump card against teacher 2)to not kill noe as monsieur spider had demanded#at first i thought it might be for naenia get noe's true name but if that were the case she would have done it by now#and in that moment naenia regained her form for a brief moment in d'apchier mansion and everyone felt her presence#ruthven looked equally surprised so he must not know naenia's true identity either (is he being used?)#lol i could write an essay about vnc... so many tags... lol sry i got carried away!
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maddieandangel · 5 days
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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The Act of Seeing with One's Own Eyes (Stan Brakhage, 1971)
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celestialmega · 5 months
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The Act of Seeing with One's Own Eyes by Stan Brakhage.
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brittlebutch · 8 months
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one thing i do love about Brennan's storytelling is how often he creates characters who carry Anger with them. like, it's not an anger that subsumes or permeates who they are, nor does it tend to Remain throughout the entirety of their arcs, but it's there, in Zelda, and Hob, and Evan, and Ayda, and Nikhil, and so on. Characters who snap and snarl and growl and shout, and - and this is Key - are never like, reprimanded, or corrected, or resented for it. i cannot express how much this means to me
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akkivee · 2 months
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do you know how often these float to the forefront of my mind since they dropped???? does he know how well he suits jyushi???? does he know he’s on his way to ruining my life???? does he know—
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sysig · 7 months
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Kinda in the middle of planning a defense, no flirting pls (Patreon)
Bonus:
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#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#Commander Hayes#And my first pass at an Arilou! :D#They're cute! I like them!#As with all the SCII aliens I haven't met yet I'm already injecting headcanons into them lol I'll stop once I actually start playing#I think what's especially funny is that this was mostly just meant to be a warmup/drawing ZEX as a handsome pirate briefly#Again to celebrate how pretty he is in that getup <3 And then it turned into an idea! Come on now!#I am quite pleased with how it all turned out tho haha - I got to draw the Captains coat and an Arilou and Commander Hayes!#Oh and pretty pirate!ZEX as well - as originally intended lol#I like the idea of the tables being turned and the Captain is able to actually act on his righteous indignation at ZEX's treatment of him ♪#Not enough to actually dissuade him (himself) but he still gets to be mad! It's unfair of you ZEX! (He knows haha)#Still not enough to avoid a hug - and in front of his own crew and allies no less haha#At first including the Arilou was just kind of an errant thought#I had mixed up ZEX seeing their ship in-fic and one of the ZEX comic panels as being the same event in my head#Realized the other day that it was not! Still not by rereading lol I went and looked at the art again ♪ It's cute!#And the Arilou did end up being quite fun to draw :D I like the triple eye fold haha I didn't think I'd get to use that again outside of Bar#And only shading the upper one hehe ♪ I think it gives a neat look overall#Been a heck-while since I drew Hayes as well - I didn't see a reference for him either (understandably) so I just made something up haha#Thinking about it I wonder if ZEX likes how the Arilou look :0 They are rather humanoid! Would he be dissuaded? Are they annoying enough lol#''It's a very simple solution to all of this Admiral :)'' haha ♪
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dutybcrne · 4 months
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Kaeya wasn’t one to really get angry as a kid, but the very few times when he genuinely did, it was extremely obvious to everyone, in the way he carried himself.
#hc; kaeya#//Dude had/has like#//Mom type anger bfbfb#//Where his bad mood would just absolutely Contaminate the very room he was in and make the atmosphere utterly Suffocating#//He wouldn’t be confrontational about it either; just be absolutely Frigid; enough that it leaks through his politeness#//Which most of the time was at Luc (after antics gone too far or him pressing Kae abt himself/his past too much)#//Or maids who mouthed off and gossiped a bit too much; esp abt Addie. Which was the most frequent cause#//Only TWICE at Crepus; 1) directly when he tried to pry once; 2) from afar the day he died when Kae saw the Delusion on him#//And ONCE at Addie after Luc left & she tried to lessen the blame Kae heaped upon himself; in reasoning Luc could have; too#//He regrets that one most#//He’s not even overt with it; not usually. But still v palpable to those it’s directed at#//It’sa subtle storminess in his eye; a particular tension in his body.ACertain Tone in his voice; like an air of finality w each sentence#//It was far more obvious as a kid than present day; bc later on he got better at hiding it as smth else#//& as a bab; it was far more jarring to see him acting that way after being used to him being so warm and shy#//For Diluc esp; it was prolly a mad stressful affair each time it happened; no matter how infrequent#//One minute yer bro is jokin around & chilling; then he’s suddenly put what feels like leagues between you & kicked you off Dragonspine#//Tended to show up sometimes during their knight days at the others & ESP in his first few months as Cavalry Captain#//Except he was deffo far more willing to resort to confrontations over insubordination & challenges of his capability in latter#//Before he mellowed out again bc of Jean & Varka and really started picking up the silver tongue’n sly approach more#//It was more efficient seeing people fall apart seemingly from their own doings than do it himself & deal with the troublesome aftermaths#//Nowadays; his Vision acting up if anything is is main tell to if he’s angry or not#//Unless the person knows him REALLY well; or he genuinely can’t hold it back#//But that one is v extreme cases
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megumi 🤝🏽 yuuji
dying even if it’s only for a good minute only to be brought back to life bc fate realizes if they died for real then they would need to find someone else to fuck over. those two are like fates favorite barbie dolls.
apologies if this post is going to seem all over the place, just bear with me. i don’t even know if you’re going to see this BUT it’s okay bc i need to get this out my system 😭.
starting off — god, imagine the chaos that will ensue when megumi tells nobara & yuuji about his very tragic history with the zenins. but like he wouldn’t even tell them straight up, he’ll just make a little deadpan joke (my sarcastic, sassy son) & the others would look at him like : ??? wtf do you mean by that sea urchin head???
like imagine itafushikugi going shopping for like traditional japanese clothes for a little festival or some shit (megumi was dragged by his spikes to come along) & nobara is having the time of her life finding outfits for her & the boys. like it got to the point where she’s dressing them herself & she shows megumi an outfit that looked similar to the robe he was forced to wear bc of the zenin (it’s obviously not the same) & megumi just refuses to wear a robe with similar color patterns to the zenin robe.
megumi: that looks like the outfit the zenin forced me to wear. i wonder what happened to it, cause the last thing i know, i got blood all over it. so as the second member of the zenin hate club, im not wearing that….
megumi: wait that blue one looks decent. i’m going to try it on.
nobara:
yuuji:
nobara: …did he really leave without giving us the “ getting blood on a zenin’s robe” story?
imagine maki complaining about naoya in front of the first years, & maki just brings up naoya’s onesided beef with megumi & her stories of how naoya was so petty back in his childhood made him remember who tf naoya is (megs have selective memory, it’s okay)
megumi: ugh, he was so annoying. i remember when he came to my middle school back when gojo was busy dealing with the aftermath of his evil ex boyfriend evil plan & he basically kidnapped me. i was stuck in a car with that man for 40 minutes..you would hate him nobara.
maki: yeah you would hate him nobara.
yuuji: i’m sorry he kidnapped you??? why did you say that so casually?
nobara: fuck that. megumi is a disney princess, we know this already. BUT we’re just gonna gloss over gojo had an evil boyfriend?
& imagine when megumi finally tells his friends about the zenin clan was when yuuji just came back from the dead & they were asking how tf that’s possible. & somewhere in that conversation megumi just let it slip that his heart stopped beating once & itakugi looks at him in silence:
megumi: yeah the zenin clan basically forced me to exorcise some curses & complete a ritual to get a snake — that snake fucking bit me. it was my least favorite. but yeah i basically died. then yuuta brought me back. then i was blind for a good minute.
nobara, yuuji, & even sukuna:
megumi: it was a terrible time for me. gojo was even more clingier & protective. it got to a point where he started treating me like i was 6 again… reading me bedtime stories, singing me lullabies & describing the pictures in the stories since i was…yknow blind.
cue itakugi & even sukuna wanting to burn down the zenin but ofc they can’t do that…so they settle for pulling pranks on the members & traumatizing them ofc.
IM ALSO imagining how funny it would be for yuuji to be jealous of yuuta. like bro is basically living yuuji’s fantasy world. i’m giggling at the idea of yuuji fighting for his life to be either megumi favorite or nanami’s favorite.
you also opened my eye to the potential of maki & tsumiki… like i also like to imagine that in a happier world, they would understand each other on such a deep level. but they would also find parts of the other that they wished they had. but on a happier note i like to imagine that megumi would suffer whenever it was brought up that his aunt is basically dating his step sister. like maki would be a menace to megumi. every little thing he do? maki is texting tsumiki in a corner.
maki watching itafushi cook together in the kitchen: i can’t believe megumi has a boyfriend. it’s so cute that he thinks that he can hide this from me. lemme go snitch to tsumiki.
maki listening to megumi describe his fight with sukuna, a cursed spirit who apparently has a stripping problem: oh my god. megumi is truly yuuta’s boy. they both got cursed spirits obsessed with them…i need to tell tsumiki.
maki to megumi after witnessing his suicidal tendencies: don’t make me tell tsumiki.
i honestly love your story. the way you added so much more to megumi childhood is beautiful. it just make soooo much sense. but also your characterization of gojo is so precious to me. i’m waiting for gojo to go apeshit on the zenin. i’m also giggling in anticipation at gojo finding out about yuuta attachment to megumi. i like to imagine him to be kind of worried about it actually, bc that’s not fucking healthy. but i imagine him getting used to it since megumi will have a protector in the form of yuuta & his power of love.
i’m also curious to see mai’s role in this story since.
*sighs in disappointment at gege writing choices*
since she had a crush on megumi…yeah. but imma just interpret that as she wants to be his family. it keeps me sane
i also wanted to ask if there’s a chance that you would write a megumi POV of what happened in the zenin clan? ofc i would understand if you wouldn’t since it leaves a much more ominous feeling to the events. plus yuuta running commentary is a good mix of angst & humor so ofc i understand.
Yuuji: man fushiguro almost checks the boxes for a Disney princess. except he was never kidnapped or enslaved
Megumi, sold to the Zenin clan, who later kidnapped him: *sweating*
Nobara and Yuuji would be the co-vice presidents of the "fuck the Zenin clan" club if they knew what happened. They would be the presidents but yuuta and maki are already in a death match for the position and they're trying to avoid the bloodshed. they are not allowed to be treasurer because neither of them know how money works.
megumi is unaware that a formal club has been formed.
Megumi is suffering SO HARD in any world where maki and tsumiki are together. they won't stop ganging up on him when it comes to his love life and general wellbeing and holding hands where he has to see it. maki lectures him about his suicidal tendencies in the field, holds up one finger, calls tsumiki, and lets her pick up where she left off. maki tries to talk to him about relationships one (1) time and he tries to drown himself.
see i'm pretty open to writing a megumi POV but it, like most of my stories, falls in this nebulous category of "if i have the time." like, i've thought about writing megumi's pov before, there's a lot of stuff that happened that exists as like, background knowledge for me that will never make it through yuuta's pov because it doesn't make sense for yuuta to find out about it. It would be very tonally different, but if i did write it, it would be a different work entirely and i'd be making sea glass gardens into a series.
i'm eternally tempted by the siren call of making my works into a series. If i did it with sea glass gardens, i would want to add a one shot of Megumi's pov during the time leading up to sea glass gardens and a short multi-chapter of the gojo, nanami, shoko teen parenting trio. If I have the time, it will exist; if i don't, it won't.
#ironically the one thing that WOULD endear yuuta to yuuji is finding out about all of this#yuuji would instantly love him for all he did for Their Boy. it's the only way i see megumi actually fessing up to what happened#i think megumi's just someone who's really private and uncomfortable with people knowing a lot about him and he would try to hide this from#itakugi for as long as he could. it probably eats at him that the second years all saw him like this. i think he just hates feeling vulnera#megumi gives him the /extremely/ abridged version of events to get yuuji and nobara to chill about yuuta and how he acts (yuuji is convince#that there's no one who could be that perfect nobara keeps looking for homosexual explanations) and they instantly veer hard into finding#out everything there is to know about the zenin and how to hurt them and also yuuta's like. beloved in their eyes. megumi is their boy.#they love their boy. yuuta saved their boy. ergo they love yuuta now. it's simple math.#tonal shift is a huge sort of struggle with me as a writer just because i change my styles with every narrator#which is why it's kind of hard to flip between works if the tone is too different. i was trying to juggle sea glass gardens and toy rosarie#and i was just internally screaming b/c yuuta and jack could NOT be more different with narration styles and i was like 'fuckkkkkkkkk'#with yuuta i structure sentences with a lot of 'space' in them. i don't have a better word for it i'm not actually trained in writing so#it's all just whatever shit i made up along the way i have no officially terms. anyway. Yuuta's sentences are structured to have this sort#of detached distance between the actual message and the start of the sentence. So we end up with a lot of sentences that start w/ structure#like “yuuta thinks” and Yuuta feels“ b/c I think of yuuta as a very detached person because of how he lived. it's a survival mechanism.#a lot of the meat of what he feels has to come in almost absentmindedly. So you end up with Yuuta's suicide scene and losing the knife and#him having a line like “He swears he never meant any of the bad things he did” and the fact that he thinks his own survival is a bad thing#/he's/ to blame for is almost backdoor'd in as a given premise. it's assumed. it's not even the point of the sentence. he's been living wit#jack murdock meanwhile is an intensively retrospective character that's meant to make you almost feel claustrophobic from how “close” his#narration style is. a lot of the actual message is conveyed through imagined scenarios and emotional recollection. he's a character steeped#in regret who has been torturing himself with it for years. yuuta's survival mechanism is isolation but jacks been yearning to get back wha#he lost for so long and dreaming of it that he's steeped in really vivid internal imaginings.#with jack you have multipage lamentations remembering his son buying cereal with him but yuuta drops the fact that his parents stopped#loving him at some point and it's not even the most important thing in the sentence. it's included as a qualifier because yuuta has accepte#so much of the bad things that happened to him when he shouldn't have whereas jack hasn't accepted ANYTHING that happened.#Yuuta uses a lot of very clean cut grammatically correct narration and jacks is riddled with a bunch of “ain't's” and grammatical errors.#he has an accent for lack of a better term. so you end up w/ two characters who convey information in different ways prioritize different#info in their sentences use different sentence structures etc. so megumi would have a /very different/ style and tone from yuutas that woul#sort of shape any fic that came through him because all of my fics are primarily shaped through the narrator's voice. it's also why I set#kind of hard lines about whether a fic can have any narrator or just specific narrators b/c it determines the whole tone.
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maskyartist · 10 months
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add this to the list of goofy ass personal aus for me and me alone
au where everythings the same but Ozpin's blind thats all
#masky says#again its called SELF indulgence for a reason#im simple i like blind characters who use their blindness to their advantage#ozpin wouldnt be able to rely on ozymandias or any other past lives for sight since they'd need to use HIS body's senses to detect anything#no one can see. its a new experience for almost ever life i'd imagine#but ozpin's grown up without his sight so he knows how to navigate the scary world#hes not totally blind. he can see...vague shapes. very vague.#but thats it.#long memory works as a normal cane and ur usual blind cane#hes memorized beacon's halls along with the usual rush of students and which way they'd come and go to classes so he doesnt get lost in the#-rush if hes ever goin from one place to another alone#glynda usually sticks by his side to act as his guide if hes goin somewhere super crowded#tho i mostly like it cause the vibe of ozpin bein one of those characters who keeps their eyes closed all the time is a VIBE#hes still a top huntsman. hes still the headmaster. hes still one of ozma's many lives#but hes blind. thats all that changes and it changes nothing and also everything#qrow acting as a seeing eye bird when ozpin asks for his help#sitting on his shoulder and cawing if oz nearly bumps into a wall or someone#i know its not real evidence but i do like ozpin memorizing the feel of qrow's facial features#the scruff of his beard the way his skin dips in places where scars linger#he likes touching people hes very touchy. its the best way he knows to see in his own personal way#he wouldnt notice ruby's silver eyes. he'd need to be told later. glynda probably mentions it making ozpin interested even further in her-#-progress and acceptance into his academy
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