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pearbunny · 5 months

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the bucket list ✘ [ten]

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summary:Fly to Korea. Check. Buy a bouquet of flowers for a stranger. Check. Have said stranger come along with you to accomplish your bucket list? Well that wasn’t on the list, but maybe Falling in Love was.

pairing: han jisung x reader

genre: 18+ [MDNI] strangers to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, later chapters to include: angst, comfort, smut.

general warnings: tourist!mc, adult themes including but not limited to: suggestive content, nudity, cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of death in later chapters, eventual smut. more warnings posted for each individual chapter.

word count: 4.4k

chapter content: a phone call from our girl Robin, angst angst angst, we find out about Jisung's friend, pls don't read if you're not in the right mental state

updates: okay, so I lied. It took me awhile for this chapter. The end of the year is a rough and busy time.

You posted the picture of Jisung on the balcony onto your Instagram and immediately toss your phone aside, too giddy but also too anxious to see what kind of responses you would get. Instead, you look for some kind of clothing to put on quickly so you can join him on the balcony. A glimpse out the window shows you his bare toned back, early sun bouncing off of his skin.

You wrap the white bed sheet over your form, making your way to the couch where you find a shirt of his. You check to see if Jisung is peering in through the window and thankfully he isn’t. You’re still shy around him when it comes to being naked, it still works your nerves. That’s probably something that won’t change. Just the thought of his eyes roaming your naked body sends a chill down your spine.

You quickly put on a shirt of his, tugging the bottom hem down in an attempt to cover more than the top of your thigh. You slip out to the balcony to join Jisung, taking your place next to him and leaning against the railing. “Hey.”

Jisung looks down over at you and nudges your shoulder gently in greeting, smiling fondly at you. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” He takes a sip of his cup of warm black coffee that he made with the hotel room’s coffee machine and offers it to you.

You take the cup in both of your hands, smelling the rich aroma of the coffee. You inhale deeply and close your eyes, savoring it. You open them with a blush on your cheeks, considering his question. How were you feeling? Happy. A bit shy. Sore. “Good, how are you?” You take a sip of his coffee and immediately scrunch your face at how bitter it is.

Jisung laughs and takes the cup from your hands in his left one, wrapping right arm around your torso and guiding you in front of him so he can easily hug you from behind. He places his chin on top of your head and starts swaying you gently. “Good.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you two, simply enjoying the view of the ocean and the soft whirr of people and cars on the streets. Your ears pick up the faint sound of your ringtone and you turn around in Jisung’s arms, placing a small peck on his cheek before freeing yourself from his hold and walking back into the hotel room.

Jisung watches your form as you walk away, biting his lower lip subconsciously. “Is that my shirt?”

You look over your shoulder to him with a smile on your lips before plopping yourself on the bed, stomach down. The action gives him a peek of the bare skin of your butt, making him raise both brows like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Jisung had woken up feeling refreshed, relaxed; it was something that he didn’t feel often. Perhaps it’s because of his regular sleep schedule which consisted of three, maybe four hours of a day. Maybe it was because he got to sleep on a bed instead of the uncomfortable floor. Or it could be because he was absolutely spent last night after getting acquainted with your body. Either way, his shoulders felt relaxed, his back untensed, it was nice.

When he found you still asleep next to him, you had your hair splayed all around you, mouth slightly open, arms tucked close to your chest, the bed sheets covering you from your waist down. The image sent blood rushing down his body and he had to get out of bed quickly before it became too much. However, before he did get out of bed, he placed the sheets higher on your body.

Now, from the balcony, he could see the bottom curve of your ass and he determines that its best if he stays outside on the balcony while you take your call. He sips on his warm black coffee, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he tries to calm himself down.

You unlock your phone to answer Robin’s call.

“Excuse me miss ma’am?!” Robin’s voice only goes higher in pitch, her eyes wide as she stares at you through the phone.

You lean away from your phone, her voice taking you by surprise. “Well hello, too you too, Robin.”

Robin smiles sheepishly at you before she takes a seat in front of her vanity, placing her phone down against the mirror. She leans forward in her seat, getting close to the camera with a cocked brow. “Explain.”

You feign innocence, hiding your smile behind your curled up fingers. “Explain?”

Robin gives you a deadpan stare. “DID YOU FUCK HIM AGAIN?”

Behind you, you can hear Jisung nearly choke on his coffee. He decides that maybe he shouldn’t be within earshot of this conversation. He downs the rest of his drink and calls out from the balcony, “Hey, I’m gonna shower real quick while you discuss all of that.” Strategically, he walks in, making sure that both you and Robin could see him in the background of your facetime. Your face reddens and you plant your face into the mattress, hoping the bed would swallow you up.

Robin is doing the exact opposite on her end. Her eyes perk up and she sits up straight in her seat, as if doing so would get her a better view or angle of Jisung’s abs and then back as he makes his way across the hotel room to the bathroom. Her eyes are glued to her phone screen.

When the door closes and the shower turns on, you groan and bring your head up, running a hand over your face. The high squeal of Robin rings in your ears.

“GIRL, is that HIM?”

“M’hmm.”

Robin gives you a dramatic and prolonged wink of her eye and the “okay” hand sign. She whispers-yells, “Did he rearrange your organs?”

“Why do you do that?” You laugh at her, “Whisper loud enough for people to hear you anyway?”

Robin laughs and shrugs her shoulders, “It’s just a part of my charm.” Robin eyes you pointedly, still. “So?”

You shrug your shoulders, avoiding eye contact. “So what?”

Robin sighs in frustration. “Okay, I get it we’re shy. I’ll ask the questions then!”

You laugh and smile at her through the phone. “Go ahead.”

“Were you drunk or sober?”

“Sober,” you say confidently.

“Ooo, sober Y/nnie got some dick last night.”

“Okay, Robin. Next question, he’s not going to be in the shower forever.”

Robin laughs on her end and wiggles in her seat, her excitement manifesting physically in her inability to sit still. “Was it like you remembered the first time?”

You move your eyes towards the ceiling, thinking back to last night and a small smirk plays on your lips. “Better.”

“Ooo,” Robin bites her lower lip, raising her brows up and down in support. “Love that for you. Any spanking? Choking? Hair pulling?”

“No spanking. No real choking. A little hair pulling.” You recount last night’s details in your mind, subconsciously pressing your thighs closer together.

“So.. he wasn’t, like, nasty?” Robin pouts her lower lip at you. Robin always wanted the best for you in every single aspect of your life. Including sex.

You sit up in bed, bringing your legs under you. Without knowing, you start to play with the ends of your hair with your free hand when the butterflies start picking up in your stomach. “No, but it was a lot more romantic… it just felt like,” you pause to exhale loudly, trying to find the right words to say. “It just felt right. Like it needed to happen.”

Robin looks at you with a tilt of her head, a small smile on her lips, brows raised again with eyes wide. She’s looking at you with such happiness in her eyes. “Awwh, that’s so cute.” The smile quickly turns into a wide grin, “Was this romance happening on a different ancestral plane?”

You laugh loudly, not expecting that follow up question. When you don’t answer, she asks another question. “On a scale of one to ten, please rate your experience.”

“A hundred. For sure. Would come again.”

Robin is about to dig further when the both of you hear the bathroom door open. The both of you give each other an embarrassed look and Robin quickly waves a hand in front of the phone camera. “Well, I’ll leave you to it! Have fun! I’ll see you home soon.” She winks at you once before immediately hanging up.

“Sorry about that,” You swing your legs over the edge of the bed and place your phone on the nightstand. Jisung makes his way to you in a fresh pair of dark gray sweats and a white tee. His hair was still slightly damp, water droplets falling when he rakes his hand through his hair and immediately shakes it out.

“No, don’t worry about it. It was just my friend, Robin.” You walk into the bathroom to grab a towel for his hair. When you come back into the room, you find him sitting in the bed. With a soft smile, you lazily make your way between his legs, plopping the towel on top of his head, obscuring his vision.

Jisung’s deep chuckle bounces around the room as he brings his hands to your hips, pulling you closer to him. The chuckle seems to rumble in your own chest while you gently rub Jisung’s hair with a towel. You feel a blush paint your cheeks; the whole situation was so domestic it made you a little shy just thinking about it.

“Robin seems fun,” Jisung closes his eyes, leaning into your touch, feeling relaxed as you dry his hair.

“M’hmm,” You take the towel off his head and toss it onto the couch.

He looks up at you with a small smirk and a mischievous look in his eyes. “So… 100 out of 10, huh?”

Your eyes shut, hands coming up to cover your face. His warm hands encircle your wrists as he tries to pry yours away. “Oh my god.”

“That’s kind of high.” He succeeds and places his chin on your chest, staring straight into your eyes. He enjoys watching you get nervous, he thinks it's cute you can’t look him in the eyes.

“Oh my god,” You repeat. You’re not sure if there are other words to explain how mortified you are.

“Gonna be hard to top that.” Jisung’s voice lowers in octave, it’s that husky voice that he primarily has used whenever you two are naked and or in bed together.

You do your best to turn away from him, attempting to free yourself from his hold so you could hide your shame.

Jisung easily encircles your waist with his arm to pull you back into his lap. His lids are nearly closed as he stares down at your lips, his lashes nearly touching his cheeks. “Guess I’ll have to try harder, then.” He leans closer to you and closes the distance, placing his lips on yours.

“Jisung, it’s 10:50 already, check out is at 11:00!” You’re hurriedly stuffing your toiletries into your backpack that you took with you on your trip to Busan, going back and forth between the bathroom and your backpack constantly just to make sure you didn’t leave anything behind.

Jisung brings his duffel bag and your smaller suitcase by the door, picking up your jackets that were laid on the bed. “Hey, don’t forget the ears you got at Lotte World.” You're thankful for the reminder and you snatch the bunny ears off the small table in the corner.

You meet him by the door, slipping on your shoes. Jisung takes your backpack from your hands as you put your jacket on. When you try to take the backpack from him, he places it on top of your rolling suitcase and clicks his tongue. “You’re stressed. Don’t worry about it.”

While you were running around making sure you got everything, Jisung was gathering the items you overlooked: your mascara by the window, your phone charger under your pillow, a sock in the closet. He finds it an amusing quirk of yours that even though you were doing your best to be meticulous, the stress of it all caused you to overlook things.

You give him a small smile, opening the door for the both of you. You walk beside him in the hallway, gently nudging his side, “Sorry. Hotel check outs are my worst nightmare.” It was an over exaggeration but you always felt bad for taking too long when checking out.

Inside the elevator, Jisung’s hand leaves the handle of your rolling suitcase to pull you tight against him. “Don’t worry about it.” He places a chaste kiss on the left side of your forehead. “We have to be somewhere anyway.” When the elevator dings to signify your arrival to the lobby, Jisung walks towards the front desk bringing all the luggage with him.

With your eyes wide, you follow behind him. “Another surprise?”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, handing over the hotel room card keys to the hotel employee. “It’s really nothing special, so don’t give me those eyes.” He looks at you with a lopsided smile, taking in your eyes full of excitement and wonderment before deciding he can’t take it anymore. He places a hand on top of your head to ruffle at your hair, finishing up the process of checking out. “Just one night before we go back to Seoul.”

“Hey, we’re here.” Jisung puts the car in park and you look out the window, taking in the new environment. You had been immersed in a book that Jisung had recommended to you back at the record-book store. Outside, you notice how wooded the area is. He parked next to a trailer with a small wooden patio set outside of it.

You look back towards him with a slight tilt of your head, “Camping?”

Jisung nods and opens his door, shutting it behind him to run around the front of the car to open your own door. “Camping.”

You give him a soft smile and place your feet onto the soft dirt and dry leaf covered ground. Taking in a deep breath, you can smell the earthy aroma around you, the slight moisture in the air amplifying the evergreen scent.

Jisung takes the luggages out of the trunk of his car and brings them up to the doorstep of the trailer. He fishes out his phone from his pocket to find the email with the instructions. He inputs the number into the trailer’s electronic keypad lock. With a chime, the door unlocks.

This time, you grab onto your backpack and luggage and bring it into the trailer before Jisung can. Inside the trailer is a lot more spacious than you would have thought looking at it from the outside. A lot of the trailer was furnaced with warm-colored wood stains and white accents. The full-sized bed at the far end was against a large window. Outside the window was the beautiful view of the wooded area outside. Tall moss covered trees with branches that stretched and loomed far above, a small creek a couple of ways out, and a glimpse of the outdoor shower behind the trailer.

It felt like a cozy woodsy getaway. It was perfect.

“Did I do good?” Jisung comes up behind you and wraps his arms around the smallest part of your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder.

You lean your weight against him and he supports it. “What is this for?”

“Mmm,” He hums and flashes a gummy smile at you. “Fall Asleep Under the Stars.”

You spent the day playing games provided by the company who hosted the trailer campers with Jisung. You played chess, which didn’t go too well. You knew the basics of chess, what pieces did what, but you didn’t know too much about strategy. Jisung, however, was both knowledgeable and competitive. He didn’t let you win, but he did demand a kiss whenever he took a piece of yours off the board, so you didn’t mind at all.

For dinner, you had some ramyun that you boiled in a pot above the firepit provided in front of the trailer. The sun set overhead and soon the both of you were getting ready for bed.

You tug some sleeping shorts under your oversized t shirt and messily tie your hair up in a bun. When you leave the small toilet room, you find Jisung already in bed, sitting up against the wall, the book you were reading before open in his lap. When you take a couple of steps, your feet’s soft thuds alert Jisung of your presence. His brown eyes leave the book immediately to fall on you as his hand pats the spot in bed beside him.

With a huge smile on your face, you easily slip in under the covers, back against the wall to mimic his position, head on his shoulder. The large window gives view to the eerily calm forest, full moon peeking above the tops of the trees. You give a sigh, feeling at ease with Jisung’s arms around you.

“Oh,” You tilt your head a little to get a better view of the night sky, “We can see the stars!”

Jisung nods and points at a specific star cluster, “That right there is Lupus.”

You squint your eyes, trying to make out what he was pointing at.

Jisung laughs and glances at you from the corner of his eyes, “You can’t see it, can you?”

You give him a sort of apologetic smile and shake your head, “No, but I want to!” You get on your knees and hands, crawling across his legs to get closer to the window. You press your hands on the glass pane, craning your head up at the sky.

Jisung joins you and points in the same direction. “Right there,” He observes your face, so close to the window, the moonlight on your face; he wants to commit this moment to his memory. He gets close to the window and breathes onto the window, causing it to fog up. With one eye closed, he takes his index finger and with the very tip of it, he presses it against the glass, right where he sees the stars that make up the constellation. “Look,” He places his hands on your shoulders, guiding you to the correct perspective. “Do you see it?”

You look through the window, doing your best to match your perspective with Jisung’s to see with how the stars he dotted on the window were. You squint your eyes for a couple of seconds, focusing your vision when you see it. “Oh, I do! I do see it, Jisung!”

Jisung smiles at you, then falls back onto the mattress, his hands behind his head while he watches the night sky. “That’s one of my favorite constellations.”

The stars reflect in your eyes, wide as you stare at the constellation for a moment longer. The room is quiet as Jisung’s eyes fall onto your form, absolutely enthralled by how perfect the night was. Finally, you join him back on the bed, fitting yourself against his side, head resting on his chest. “Any reason why?”

Jisung stares back up at Lupus. “I like to think that’s Chan watching over me.”

“Is Chan the friend that your tattoo on your back is for?” Your eyes look up at him, trying to tread carefully on the subject. He’s mentioned it once or twice before and you’ve gathered from what limited information he’s given you as well as how tense the air gets that whoever Chan was meant a lot to Jisung.

Jisung gives you a lopsided smile, one that that’s a little sad, tugging down at the corner of his lips. “Yeah.”

He doesn’t change the subject, and if you could read Jisung’s mind, he’d tell you: Keep going, ask another question, I’m ready to talk about it.

“What was he like?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, daring not to disturb the atmosphere that allowed him to open up. Like if you were to move or if you were to talk too loud, something in the air would shatter and Jisung would pull away and keep that side of himself tucked away for the next time he felt vulnerable enough to share.

“Chan was my brother– well, no. Not my brother,” Jisung bit on the inside of his cheek, struggling to find the correct words to say. “Not by blood anyway. I have an older brother, but Channie was more of a brother than my actual brother. Not that my brother was a bad brother, just… Chan was different. He was my best friend.”

“How old were you when you met him?”

“Sixteen,” Jisung’s smile is small, recalling one of his best friends. “I was such a little shit,” Inwardly, he cringes, but he chuckles softly. “But Chan… He saw something in me that I didn’t know was there.”

You stay quiet to let him continue on, observing the miniscule movements in his face. Small twitches of his lips, the way his eyes would seem like they lost focus, presumably lost in a memory.

“I like to think that I just didn’t know how to channel all the pent up energy I had. I never knew what to put my efforts into. Everything just seemed so… arbitrary. The more I was expected to do something, the more I just didn’t want to. Teen angst I guess.” Jisung’s hand subconsciously falls to your back, lazily drawing shapes with the tips of his fingers overthe fabric of your shirt. “He asked me one day, ‘Jisung, what do you like?’” He imitates his friend, pitching his voice a little higher and even putting on an Australian accent. “At the time, I told him I liked anime and music.” Jisung grins, “He told me that I should try and draw, so I did. It wasn’t good, but Channie still kept it and said he’d sell it one day after the anime or manga I made would become really popular.”

“So, was he the one that got you into music?”

Jisung nods, “Yeah. After I got into music, I just… I was a better person. I felt like I had purpose and I could stop pretending to be something people wanted me to be.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I’m sure it’s not as embarrassing as you think it is.”

“Okay… well. I met him at a chess meet up at the park.”

“Chess?”

“Yeah, I was a really nerdy kid. Definitely not as cool as I am now.” He looks at you with a fake smug look. “Chan won and said something in English in this Australian accent and I told him I thought he was really cool.”

Jisung grows quiet and it’s become a little awkward; a little tense. There was something looming in the air that was begging to be spoken.

“Wh-what happened to him, Ji?” You stutter, feeling apprehensive about his answer.

“I think,” He pauses to swallow a lump in his throat. “I think Chan was lonely. I mean, we were all friends with him. Changbin, Lee know, Seungmin, too. But I think that wasn’t enough.” He shakes his head quickly, “No– Sorry. I told myself I would stop saying and thinking that way.” Jisung chokes up a little, his voice wavering slightly. Jisung pauses, both to regain his composure, but also to gather his thoughts. “I think even in crowded rooms, Chan felt lonely.”

Your eyebrows knit together and tears start to sting the corner of your eyes.

Jisung sighs, loud, heavily, and slowly. The silence is truly deafening; the longer it goes on, the more Jisung’s expression cracks. Eventually, his brows furrow, eyes staring off somewhere out the window as he bites his lower lip to choke back the sobs, tears staining his face.

You’re unsure at what point it happened, but the fabric of Jisung’s shirt on his chest has grown damp with your own tears.

“He always encouraged me to keep going. He always told me that life wasn’t always a straight path. Sometimes we take detours, but if we stick to it, we’ll get to where we want to be.”

You lean up on your elbow and wipe the tears away with the pad of your thumb.

Jisung reaches for your wrist to stop you and instead, he wipes his face with the back of his arm. “I just wish he took his own advice.”

Your lower lip trembles and you drape your body on top of his, holding onto him tightly. Jisung places his hands around you, fingers clenching at your shirt. His sobs are thunderous, strong enough to shake his whole body; a stark opposite of the calm atmosphere outside.

It makes you wonder, has Jisung ever talked to anyone about this?

In truth, this was a pain that Jisung shared with his friends, but no one truly knew how he felt outside of that circle. So when he finally talked about it with you, he felt like the floodgates opened, he felt just a release of emotions that was so overwhelming, all he could do was cry and sob. His cries pierce through your soul, pulling at the strings of your heart. His pain is so strong and you can’t help but squeeze him tight, to let him know that you’re there for him and if his pain is anything like yours… You squeeze him tight to let him know that he’s still here, physically, persevering, fighting.

After what felt like forever, Jisung’s shoulders cease their shaking, his breath in his lungs is more stable, the tears on both of your faces now dry. You resume your position by his side, head resting delicately on his chest. You stay quiet, listening to the air in his lungs, paying attention to the rise and fall of his chest. When his breathing slows and becomes even, you assume he’s fallen asleep.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jisung.”

When there’s no response, you close your eyes, certain that he’s asleep, almost relieved that he is.

“I am, too.” Jisung presses you closer to him before falling into a deep slumber.

ending author’s notes: Check in on your strong friends 💛

A big reason it's taken me long to update is because we're nearing to the end and I've grown so so attached to these characters; I don't want to say goodbye yet.

taglist

@burningchaosdeer @bat-shark-repellant @jisunglyricist @captivq @lixiel0ver @channieandhisgoonsquad @dalamjisung @laylasbunbunny @beanebabyy @leyknowsbin @vixensss @hyunfilms @cutiespaghetti @hanjisunginc @kubuwu @raehawthorne @leeknowyah @lifeissteph @thesunsfullmoon

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