#the doctor didnt even really know who she was in the end

[moonhibs]

I just feel like she hopes she'll become someone better but cries knowing she won't.

#sorry if it feels mischarcatery its just been stuck in my head #missy makes me so sad you guys :( #the doctor didnt even really know who she was in the end #and i feel like she wishes that he did. and that she got to keep being herself because Missy was someone she enjoyed being #compared to the master yknow? #doctor who s8 ep11 spoilers #shes so :( #missy #doctor who #the master #myart #im so proud of this actually i did it in ibit paint with a soft zero texture brush which is like woah #its a little dramatic for mtly tastes but oughhhh

[katiefratie]

Thinking again about the seeming twist of the Doctor not finding out Ruby's moms name, like he stares at her at beginning and end goes back cause he forgot something but its not for her, which means Ruby's bio parents have to be some kind of important plot point right?

#doctor who #doctor who church on ruby road #also i cant get over how Mrs Flood didnt recognize the tardis at the beginning but did at the end #who Is she #why does she know him #how does she know him #does she really even know him? #I can't tell if she sounds different at the end or not #i have so many questions #im so excited for may 🥺

[anyasathenaeum]

Can i request vash & wolfwood his wife didnt know she pregnant, so reader do overwork until pass out in the end both of them know reader is pregnant, and the reaction his wife giving birth the twins i wanna see how absurd they face it 🥺🙏✨ thank you

And really love u writings anyway

A/N: WAIT THAT'S KINDA CUTE, headcanons coming up! Thanks for the request and thank you so much for reading my stuff! :D

Warnings: Mention of pregnancy, childbirth, blood, slight violence in Wolfwoods', reader is AFAB in this one

Vash the Stampede

Given that Vash is... Vash, there was no way either of you knew if you could even get pregnant in the first place.

Seriously - no known plant/human hybrids existed, so the two of you never really thought much of it. You both just kind of assumed hybrids couldn't exist because plants couldn't reproduce with humans

Well, how WRONG you both were

But of course, because neither of you knew it could happen, neither of you caught on when you eventually started feeling nauseous, throwing up at random points in the day and feeling gently under the weather

110% you and Vash both were like "aww dang a cold? That sucks" and Vash would cuddle you lots to try and make you feel better cause he just thought you were sick

You also didn't let this sudden "sickness" slow you down - you kept working hard, on the run with Vash and the others, moving constantly, sleeping under the glow of the worms in the warm sand, hauling your weight and then some as the group continued to travel across No Man's Land

However, what you hadn't anticipated was suddenly not being able to do as much as you used to be able to - suddenly the sun beating down on you was too much, the heat overwhelming, and before you knew it, you had collapsed

Vash and the others were definitely concerned, but the concern turned to confusion and disbelief when they accidentally got a look at your stomach when your shirt had ridden up as you sat up once you regained consciousness - your stomach was SWOLLEN.

Everybody was a bit freaked out, you very much included, until you started to put the pieces together - your "illness", your sudden inability to tolerate things as you had before, your stomach swelling

"Vash... I-I think I might be... pregnant?"

Honestly, I think Vash would be stunned at first but once he realizes that what you're saying makes sense (and after the confirmation of a doctor from one of the nearby towns you guys travelled through), he'd be DELIGHTED

Would be the type of husband/partner who would never let you carry anything heavy anymore, hovering over you protectively, always worrying and making sure you were comfortable and not endangering yourself or your baby

"You need to rest, (Y/N)! You're growing a whole new being, you and I have gotta make sure you're taking good care of yourself now!"

Would give you ankle/foot massages A LOT to help with discomfort

Vash would definitely spend a lot of time talking to your tummy as it grows bigger, pressing soft kisses to your stomach and caressing it gently

Vash would be excited but TERRIFIED simultaneously to be a dad - so much sadness, death and regret followed him everywhere he went, and he was terrified to bring you into it, let alone an innocent child

You would have to comfort him and reiterate that you were in it together and that you think he'd be a wonderful dad

Also, because Vash is a plant and they age rapidly compared to humans, the pregnancy would be faster than a traditional human pregnancy

Vash has seen births before, especially given how long he's been around, so that part of it all doesn't make him nervous. The fact that now, it's HIS child, THAT makes him nervous

Would absolutely cry during the birth of your twins, partially out of fear, partially out of joy, and also partially because you'd gripped his hand so hard that you'd likely broken several of his fingers (oops)

Borderline passed out when they told him there were TWO babies - he wasn't expecting that at all

IDK why but I can see him being a dad to either twin boys (like him and Nai), or 1 girl, 1 boy.

It doesn't matter though, cause Vash would love your babies from the moment they let out their first cry, the reality hitting him - he's a father now.

Would give anything to protect you and his children - you're his world. His family. <3

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Unlike Vash, you and Wolfwood absolutely knew that pregnancy could happen

You and him both were sorta neutral about it - not actively trying to prevent a pregnancy, but not actively trying to conceive either.

"If it happens, it happens," Wolfwood said with a shrug when you brought it up to him

And so, you two just went about your lives together as always.

Of course, neither of you really bothered to keep tabs on your pregnancy status because you were busy travelling (and being on the run) with Vash and the others

Everything was as it usually was, with the group trying to escape from another disastrous clash with a police force of some kind, bullets flying past you all

You were hiding behind a corner, covering Wolfwood as he managed to fend off the cops coming after Vash and the rest of you, when a stray bullet struck you in the side, causing you to cry out and fall back

"(Y/N)!" You heard Wolfwood scream out your name, but you couldn't seem to see where he was anymore

Before you knew what was happening, the world went black

When you woke, your eyes opening to bright light, you quickly gasped and sat up only to cry out from the sharp pain in your side

Wolfwood was by your side, a deep scowl on his face, but you could see in his eyes that he was scared

"Mornin', sweetheart, nice of you to rejoin us in the land of the living."

Once you were more fully awake, the doctor came in to speak with you and Wolfwood, cheerfully reporting that "Thankfully, the bullet missed anything important, and the baby is just fine, too."

Umm, what?

Both you and Wolfwood choked slightly on your own spit as the doctor said that, with you coughing out "What baby?"

Yup, turns out you were pregnant and had been for a little while already at that point

From that point forward, Wolfwood becomes EXTREMELY protective of you, refusing to let you walk in front of him or even stand in front of him (he plans to use his body to protect yours if something bad happens)

He'd do his best to smoke less and not do it around you because it isn't good for the baby (he's trying hard but he still forgets sometimes)

Wolfwood would be the kind of guy who outwardly seems very relaxed and unphased by the situation but secretly has tried to read through every parenting book he could get his hands on

And when it's time for you to give birth? Listen, Wolfwood has seen a lot of things in his life, but he was NOT expecting birth to be that gruesome

Would become very pale, sweating profusely before dropping like a stone, out cold

Comes back to life when your baby begins to cry, announcing their arrival into the world

You would witness a rigid man bend and soften in front of you - you'd see Wolfwood's gaze soften and a genuine smile appear on his face as he holds your and his baby in his arms, a tiny hand wrapping around one of his fingers

Love at first sight for Wolfwood - he never thought a family would be something he wanted, but now that he has one? He's never letting go of it

Until the doctor announces that the second baby was coming

Thankfully the nurse had enough sense to take your baby from Wolfwood's arms shortly before the doctor announced that because he ended up back on the floor, out cold again

Kind of a wuss around childbirth but he loves his babies (and you) more than anything else in his life

I can definitely see him as a dad to twin girls (idk why he gives me girl dad energy)

#anya's athenaeum #vash the stampede #vash the stampede x reader #trigun stampede #vash x reader #trigun stampede x reader #trigun #trigun x reader #wolfwood #wolfwood x reader #nicholas d wolfwood

[atom-writings]

Can I request Hetalia main 8 with an S/O who has bad periods that the nations don't understand.

Ivan probably would get stuck asking Ukraine about it and get mildly creeped out when she tells him about boob pain.

(Hetalia Main 8 X Reader) S/O with bad periods

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N JHFDGHJDKF YEAH but for ivan specifically i would argue he is actually pretty familiar with the struggles. Dear people who have periods i am so sorry. also i didnt do japan again sorry if u wer looking for him i wi. l do him seperately <3

Trigger Warning: None, just fluff!

Oh boy. You’re gonna have to be one teaching him about… everything related to periods. He’ll be like “What’s so bad? It’s just like a little scrape, isn’t it?” and by the end of the night he is Mortified by the process menstruating people have to go through. He is never going to downplay your pain again, don’t worry.

But he doesn’t know what to do to take care of you really… that’s his vice. He’ll just end up buying everything he can possibly think of to comfort you, and I mean… it’s something. It’ll dull the pain a little bit to eat an insane amount of chips while he plays with your hair all night.

If your legs go out or you need to go to the hospital during your time of the month, he is fully capable of carrying you wherever you need to go. Speeding laws be damned! When your entire body is trying to kill you from the inside out, you are the most important thing in the world to him.

For a long time, Arthur thought it was… unrefined to talk about things like periods. Of course, now he knows better, but that also means… he has no idea what’s going on down there. Or what it does to the body. So when you tell him about the back pain, the cravings, the light-headedness, the nausea… he is probably gonna be pretty doubting. Until you collapse or throw up on him.  Then he’ll take care of you, hand and foot.

Literally. He loves giving massages, and he’s weirdly good at it. Of course, he’ll get you some pain meds (the good pain meds, too) and snacks, but also his hands are not gonna leave your body until your time of the month is over. 

But until then, he is very concerned. Even if it’s the umpteenth time you’ve been with him through it, he’s still begging you to go to the doctor. Anytime anything does even slightly worse, he’s grabbing his keys, getting ready to speed you to the emergency room.

Francis may sympathize, but he really does not… understand the severity of the situation. When you moan about not getting out of bed, he’s just confused and a little annoyed. Sure, periods are painful, but… you’ve had so many, aren’t you used to it by now? 

Feel free to educate him. Or hit him. Both work.

After that, he’s not making you get out of bed. He may not know your pain, but he is sure as hell not gonna force you to do anything. If your job tries to get you to come in, he’ll even start a strike outside for you <3

And considering that you’re probably his first partner who gets that much pain from your time of the month, he has no idea what to get you. Get him a list, and make sure you tell him not to find healthier alternatives cause otherwise you’re getting gross chocolate that’s supposed to help with pain. He’s trying to help… he’s just weirdly terrible at this specific part.

Don’t worry! He’s had to come up with remedies for this exact problem since before the invention of the wheel! It won’t taste great, but he’ll have you back in shape in no t- wait, why isn’t it working?! What do you mean your boobs hurt more now?!

He’s… really concerned for you the whole time. It’s hard for him to leave your side, even if you insist you’re used to it. I mean, surely this many cold compresses should relieve your… unorthodox pains. Frankly, he’s impressed. How many years have you been going through this? And without him to wait on you, hand and foot?! A shame…

If you need anything, he’ll happily make it for you. Yes, make it. He wants to be sure your care is as perfect as possible, so he only trusts his own hands. But maybe be wary if your legs tend to give out… his old bones are not meant to be carrying anyone around for too long. But of course, he’ll still do his best for you.

The Braginsky family has been cursed for… well, ever… with terrible medical conditions, so he is very familiar with the suffering caused by periods. He’s heard Natalya wail and moan for hours on end, and he is not about to let you go through the same pain! He will rip the radiator out of the wall to use as a heating pad if he has to!

He doesn’t panic as much as the others would, he already knows what you need and had it at home. That means he is not leaving your side for even a second! If you suddenly get new pains, lose feeling in anything, or have any other emergency, he is fully prepared to sweep you off your feet and help you deal with it. And he’s had to do much grosser things than take care of someone he loves, don’t worry about that.

Like you could bleed on his leg and he would not even notice, much less be upset. He’s just like, “Oh, dear, are you running out of anything? I can pick anything up for you if you need.”

OH YOU POOR DARLING! Don’t worry, he already called into work for you! You need snacks? Heated blankets? Medication? Stuffed animals? For him to hold you in his arms? He’s there! No questions asked! (He has quite a low pain tolerance himself, so he is nothing but empathetic towards you during your time of need.)

If it’d make you feel better… he’d love to massage your stomach... Don’t look at him like that! He just wants to help!

Also, if he sees you trying to put on any tight and uncomfortable clothing, he is getting you out of that stuff asap. If you need to go anywhere, he’ll go for you! Don’t stuff yourself into such suddenly ill-fitting clothing… you still look beautiful to him. 

And if it gets too bad, you have the fastest (and most dangerous) driver in all of Italy to get you to the emergency room ASAP. So don’t worry your pretty little head, Feli’s got you!

Just because Ludwig knows all about the medical side of periods, does not mean he knows how to actually deal with you when you’re in horrible, horrible pain. The fact that although it may make you feel better, you are not up for doing anything, is just baffling to him. He may try to drag you out of bed to stretch and exercise. Please bite him when he does so.

Once you start describing your actual symptoms, he starts getting light-headed. No way… this happens every month? Incalculable back pain on top of your uterus exploding? You sure you don’t need a doctor? It’s really no hassle to carry you to the car, promise! But also, you could just take him up on that offer and change your mind and ask for ice cream. He would do it. Just saying.

Anything to relieve your suffering, really. He’s spending all his time worrying about you, so he’ll get anything you want without question. He can’t stand seeing you in so much pain… but he also can’t help but feel so blessed to have been born biologically male. Basically, you’ve got a servant whose in love with you for a week.

#heta tag #hetalia imagines #hetalia x reader #ivan tag <3 #arthur tag #alfred tag #feliciano tag #ludwig tag #francis tag #aph russia x reader #aph america x reader #aph england x reader #aph china x reader #aph france x reader #hws russia x reader #hws france x reader #hws china x reader #hws england x reader #hws america x reader #aph italy x reader #hws italy x reader #aph germany x reader #hws germany x reader #yao tag

[princesssmars]

Can you please do a Teen Dash Parr x reader when Dash meets reader before his track race and he wins the race to impress reader

P.s love your story’s

because you've been waiting so long i decided to turn this into something simple and cute! dash is pretty young so idk if i'll do more fics of him in the future but i will finish this for you <33

this is a pretty platonic!dash parr x reader <3

after that first successful race, dash still had a bit of trouble regulating himself when it came to his races. he knows he's good and that even without powers he's pretty sure he'd leave his opponents in the dust, so constantly holding himself back is a challenge.

through elementary and middle school its a breeze, but when he reaches halfway through middle school some of his teammates are damn good, and being faster than them might bring a bit much attention.

nevertheless, he decides to stick to track and goes to try out for the track team, which is going on as some of the other more outdoor sports practices.

that's the first time he sees you, trying out for the girls track team running beside him and keeping up your pace with him ?????

as soon as practice is over you know he's coming up to you immediately and introducing himself because he HAS to know the name of the non-supe who was able to easily keep up with him.

he didnt expect you to be as snarky as he is though, so while he doesn't take it to heart it does start a littl rivalry between you two.

(although violet is always teasing him that he was a crush on you ???? because he's constantly bringing up annoying things you did during practice at dinner but she's just crazy.)

it's also constant teasing in the hallways, throwing disses to the other like "you should see a doctor, parr. you looked pretty green when i left you in the dust yesterday."

he had to admit, it was both infuriating and entertaining.

eventually may comes, the end of the track season and time for the biggest races of the year. the girls' team was a day before the boys, and dash took his mom's advice to be a bigger person and go see you race.

you were nothing short of amazing, and he never though he'd be so glad someone other than himself got first place.

his mom insists you come to their house for dinner to celebrate, much to his protest, and you happily agree while giving him that look that says "im going to make things so much harder for you."

and if you ignored his parents never ending questions, his sisters constant teasing and jack jack almost revealing his powers, it was a nice dinner!

the next day is dash's race, and for the first time in years he's really nervous. the guys competing against him have gotten more skilled over the course of the year, and there's over a hundred people in the stands.

but then, in the middle of the countdown, he sees you sitting with his family, wearing the biggest smile he's ever seen and giving him a thumbs up while saying "you got this."

its safe to say he won that race.

#dash #dash parr #dash parr x reader #the incredibles x reader #the incredibles 2004 #the incredibles #pixar the incredibles

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

praxeus. episode of all time. yaz episode of all time. radiating self-assurance, showing off all the things shes learnt, wanting the doctor to see how good she is at this. at playing doctor and loving it. relishing having the keys to all places, having Secret Knowledge of Alien Things that she is in no way about to share with either jake or gabriela because where would be the rush of power in that?

jake, the (ex-)copper on a sabbatical. "except i dont go telling people im police!" give it a year or two love and youre using this (ex-)title on each of your self-found companions. which youre practicing now for with gabriela, pretty girl to forcefully introduce to her very first alien planet. well, almost.

both the girl best friends who've known each other for 5 years and one of which dies exploding, and the uncommunicative married/separated husbands who are punishing each other or themselves, one of which, again, almost dies exploding, looking like thasmin from every angle. (looking like thoschei, too, further back. because thats whats behind every picture of thasmin whichever way you cut it)

watching the identities slip and slide changing hands between all these parallels. Adam, sick astronaut, experimented on by aliens, clear doctor figure. or is he? jake, on the beach, sits where the doctor sits, saying he doesnt do emotions, admitting to being purposefully unreliable, unable to commit, disliking travelling! jake who can be summoned with a "help me". jake, who doesnt believe adam could really love him. who are we to apply this sentiment to, then? obviously, both. obviously, all.

"we didnt teleport into an active volcano!" yaz exclaims, too surprised at her own success to really be reassuring, as she holds onto her new friend's wrist, not hand, steering, directing, controlling. "im supposed to be the one saying that to you," the doctor responds, a year or three (or six, for yaz) later, when the destination is an active volcano, when in all these years theyve learnt to fly a spaceship together ("adam lang, your job is so easy!") but still havent figured out how to say the things that need saying, when one of them is dying, and the last time yaz was still pretending to be on sabbatical she knew for sure how old she was. two girls roaming.

the doctor wants so badly to figure this out, needs this win, after the identity shock of ruth, all the unanswered questions. even after the betrayal, after all the bad thats been done. "look at us, suki! two brilliant scientists, we can fix this!" whatever you did, whatever youve done, in desperation, wasnt right, but it's not the end. you can fuck it all up, and then you can help to try and unfuck as much as you can. just think. do not get carried away by fear. thats what scientist means, in the thirteenth doctor's mouth. someone who realises problems have solutions. that can be found. if you delay your frightened desperate furious reaction and just think for a second. she wishes she and suki could have worked together. she wishes they could have saved her planet as well as earth. she wishes she could have sent suki home, safe and sound, with solutions for whoever is left there, waiting for her, desperate and afraid. they will never know what happened. they will die sick and in ignorance.

adam offers himself up. hes dying anyway. they need a clinical trial and he is a suitable body to test on. makes you wonder. the master did not tell us everything, and what he didnt we'll never know, but as graham put it "i aint the fantasist round here" (detective morse, by the way, is not a reference i knew, but from wikipedia this character doesnt seem much to match jake's vibes, the master (and/or doctor) however...) what sense of duty might the child have felt? what sense of duty might the child have been talked into? or is that too patronising a way to frame it? what loyalty to her adoptive mother, a scientist and explorer, an example that still loudly resonates in 13, first-time woman, and what loyalty to her adoptive planet, people? what was life like on prehistoric gallifrey? "sparsely populated" is all we get. nothing about the possible reasons. disease doesnt seem out of the question. why did tecteun leave? "dangerous, unsophisticated space travel". why do something so dangerous? just the quest for knowledge? or was there desperation? was there fear?

"maybe," the doctor says, "i'll never know". and tecteun replies with a phrase the doctor herself has tried to leverage against yaz: the journey of a lifetime. "what do you do, 'Doctor'? pick people up, take them with you? you adopt them, use them, for reassurance, for company. theyre your experiments just as you were mine."

could she have been something else? who knows. but adam offered. and before that adam trained. and adam stepped into a rocket. and adam let himself be shot into space. scientist and explorer. and we're all full of plastic, whether we know it or not. and the doctor's a romantic. which is to say an idealist, here for the lost causes, a virus to kill the disease of our own making. infectious, and aware of it.

#rewatched praxeus :) #just bc it's 4 years old now and everyone is over it doesnt mean im gonna stop writing dumb posts abt it okay #im not over it yet #anyway yaz is so cute this episode i want to kiss her #shes so good at being the doctor <33333

[isa-loves-you]

His Accent | Philip Graves x Fem!Reader |

| Trigger warnings: sexual situations, choaking, spanking. |

| This is dedicated to @massiww |

You were one of the new recruits for the shadow company, you were top of your special ops team and one day general sheppard asked you personally to be his company's first sergeant. You accepted graciously since you were now getting paid more but also you had a friend that was already in the company and she would talk about how hot the commander was.

It was your second week on base and you still havent met your commander due to him being on a mission since the day you arrived. Your friend Jada (sorry if your name Jada) had met  you in the shooting gallery for some mid day shooting.

“You know what I miss?” jada asked while you find a gun you want to use for your target “whats that” “I miss being able to watch doctor who, i feel like my day is taken up with so much training that when i get time to relax i automatically fall asleep, and i miss hearing David tennant's voice.”

You laughed off jadas remark and walked down to the end of the range and stood next to a man with short light brown hair but you couldn't see his face since he had it close to his gun. “So is it because a doctor who is smart makes you like him or the face?” you asked not to look at jada “I think it's the accents, I have a thing for Scottish and Irish accents' '. You and jada shot a couple of rounds before taking a break to reload “Really? I think southern accents are way hotter. "You slapped the bottom of your mag to make it sit in your gun right?Commander Graves has a southern accent right?I met him and he spoke to me with that accent. I would do unspeakable things to that man.”.

You laughed to yourself at what you did but quickly stopped once you saw jada's face that had an expression of fear. “As your commanding officer as well as your coworker I would advise you to not talk in such a way” you turned around to the man you saw in the booth next to you which turned out to be thee Philip Graves. There he stood over you with a stern look on his face but yet his eyes told an amused glare, his arms crossed and head cocked to the side god you did not regret what you said, just one look at this man and you did want to do something unspeakable to him.

“Sorry commander, I understand what I said was inappropriate and i didnt mean to say it in your presence, sir.” You wiped your smile away to show respect but your face was way hot from embarrassment. “That will be noted Sargent (L/N) please see yourself out, the mess hall should be open for lunch and all soldiers need their strength” “Yes sir”. You and Jada quickly got out of the gallery and to the mess hall.

“Wow i still can't believe you said that in front of him (y/n), you're dead” “please don't say that, i'm already shitting bricks' ' you tried to eat but your stomach wasn't allowing you to eat from the nerves. “CAN SARGENT (L/N) REPROT TO COMMANDER GRAVES OFFICE” oh fuck the nerves just got worse, you got up and looked at jada who was having a field day with your nightmare. “Have fun” jada waved you off while you dragged yourself to his office.

You stood in front of the door trying to muster up the courage you have just to knock on the door, you heard a couple of shuffles before his loud voice shouts from the other side of the door “come in ''. You opened the door to graves sitting at his desk and with no expression on his face “sit please” you didn't even try to go against him considering your life lies in his hands. “The reason why i called you in here is because of what you said in the gallery, now i would have just waved it off but i want to know, Did you mean it?”

You sat in shock trying to figure out why he was asking you this and if you did really mean it ”yes i did and again i'm sorry sir”. Graves let out a small short laugh “good i was hoping you did” graves stood up and walked in front of his desk facing you with his hand behind his back. 

“I have seen your file and I am very surprised by your record, and the whole time I was reading it I was wondering how much fun it would be seeing a strong woman like yourself cry from the amount of pleasure I want to give you”. You looked up at your commander shocked at what you were hearing but yet you were aroused. 

“Why wonder when you can see for yourself” you played back to his vulgaris flirting, graves let out a chuckle while shaking his head “honey don't play around if you don't want to be serious because i am” “I have never been so serious in my life sir” you stood up and stepped forward to his figure. Graves looked down at you trying to figure out your next move, you set  your hand on his chest and the other down his pants cupping his member over his boxers “Please commander. Fuck me.”

Graves smashed his lips down on to yours while letting his hands roam free around your body touching any and all parts of your body as you slipped your hand into his boxers and started stroking his cock. Graves lets out a low moan on your lips as you stroke faster, he part from your lips and looks at you with a hungry look in his eyes “get on the desk now”.

You sit on top of his desk waiting for him to do something, graves take a seat on his chair and proceed to take off the bottom half of your uniform. You feel the cold air hit your cunt and you shiver from the sudden cool, graves start to give your inner thighs a small kiss and bites. “Scoot closer” he wraps his arms around your legs to push you towards him more, as soon as your close enough graves eminently start attacking your slit with his warm wet tongue.

You let out loud moans not caring who can hear you, you gripped graves hair as he starts to go faster with his tongue “Close-Im close”.after you said that he started to go faster as he put his hands to the back of your knees to push your legs up higher, after a few more seconds of him eating you out you come on his face while your legs shook.

As you caught your breath, Graves stood up and unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants. Get on your knees and thank me for letting you cum. You followed his orders and got off his desk to get on the floor, you took his cock in your hands while wetting your lips for you to take him in. Graves couldn't help himself so he slid a hand behind your head and shoved his dick into your mouth and moved your head up and down his shaft. You let him use your throat anyway he wants while you put your hand behind his thigh to rock his hips with his pace, his movements got slower which meant he was close. You moved your head up and down faster while letting out lewd noises, Graves threw his head back while letting out a groan, you dug your nails into his thighs before he shoves your head on his cock one more time as he shoots his warm cum down your throat.

You swallowed his load before standing back up to look for your pants. “Woah their darlin we ain't done yet, get back on that desk”‘ graves said with his thick accent that got you into this beautiful mess. You took off your shirt before sitting on the desk “lay on your side” you did what he said and laid on your side. Graves gripped your thing and spread it so that he could see your pussy. He ran a finger down your slit before sticking in two fingers and putting them in and out.

He started to curl his finger at your g-spot while you gasped for air from the amount of pleasure he promised to give you. Your second orgasm rolled around as his fingers went faster when you clenched harder around his digits. He didn't give you a minute to catch your breath before he shoved himself into your heart, you moaned loud from his size and him not letting you take a minute to get used to his size.

“Aw come on darlin you can take it for me” he slapped your ass as he slammed himself in and out of you. Sounds of skin slapping and your moans filled the room with sound, graves snuck his hand over your body so he could clasp his hand around your neck. “Baby please i'm closer keep  clenching” you held a hand around the writer he was using to choke you to signal him to go faster. His trust got faster and more animalistic until the knot in your stomach started to bundle up with each thrust.

“Graves please” you plead for him to let you cum “im almost there sugar cum, cum on me”. You didn't wait a second longer to coat his cock with your cum, two more thrust and you felt his cum shoot inside your messy cunt as you were riding your high.

Five minutes passed before graves took himself out of you, you still laid on his desk as he got himself dressed again. “Here let me help you with these '' he offered a hand to get you off the desk and to put your clothes back on “thank you”. You got dressed but your legs felt like jelly and that you were going to fall any minute “I'm sorry but I have a meeting to attend but I don't want you to go like this especially in this state” you shared a laugh. “ It's okay, I'm sure I can get back to my corners.” You try to walk past him but his hands catch yours “No I want you to stay, I don't do this with just a random person I want to get to know you”. 

Just him saying that made you feel like you were going to cum again. “Please just stay, you can rest on the couch while i'm gone, i shouldn't be long, just 10 minutes or less' ' he guided you to take a seat on a dark medium size leather couch that was in his office. “When i cum back we can get something to eat and maybe talk a little” “that sounds like a plan” you smiled up at his excited face. He looks like a dog that was offered a car ride.

“Great just lay down and here” he grabbed the gray blazer that was on the back of his chair and draped it over you. He gave you a peck on the cheek before leaving the room trying to act intimidating for others while you drifted off to sleep on his couch with the scent of him and sex lingering in the room.

#modern warfare x reader #cod mw2 #cod fanfiction #phillip graves #graves x reader #cod graves #graves smut #graves x you #cod mwii #modern warfare 2

[eclipse-rain]

Demon Slayer ; Fūrin 《Windchime》

☆☆☆

Summary: When a girl with a secret past joins the demons slayer corps what secrets hide behind the mask she wears? Literally and figuratively. What are her strange powers and how did she aquire them? But most of all why does she seem strangly familiar to an unlikely pair of hashira ; Like a ghost from the past who might have been better off staying buried.

《Shes the sister of Sanemi and Genya》

Warnings: slight angst, slight swearing

Masterlist~

~~~

A cold breeze brushed past you. The chimes that hung from the mask covering your face rung out a gentle song. It played for a long time, gracing the trees and the wild life in the field you stood in.

You were waiting.

What for? You didnt know. Your mind seemed hazy. But you were sure you would find out soon.

Destiny? Or the Dark?

The future? Or your past?

Which would you face and could you survive long enough to see its outcome, to see the end?

Your ending.

The play that was your life was cruel but never dull. Perhaps sometimes you wished that your life could have been dull. Could have been so painfully boring that at times you would wish for ritches or to live in the fanciest house, but you would be happy nontheless.

A family. With nice parents and your siblings. Your eldest brother would give you away on your wedding day, albet reluctantly, and the rest would cry with tears of joy ; because you would be marrying someone good, someone who was as far from the person your father was as you could get.

It was all a dream, you knew that, but just the thought comforted you nontheless. The wind was chilly but your heart felt warm and for a moment you felt free. Free of your past, free of your future, of your destiny and the darkness. You were just in the moment, in the now, the present.

But like all good things your peace of mind soon came to an abrupt end. Stopping in its tracks before you could fall any father into some sort of semblance of normality.

And you remebered where you were. Where you really were. And what you were doing.

Running.

Running away from the place that haunted you, that captured and tourtured you. And the blood on your hands became clearer, the way it splattered across your face and covered your body head to toe. Everything came all at once. Everything came back to you all at once.

And then nothing.

It went black.

A face of a person aproaching you was all you saw before your vision faded and then you were plunged into darkness. You had almost thought for a split second that it had been your eldest brother, that with the persons same white hair, but that would have been too lucky, too easy, for someone like you. Fate would not have allowed such a thing.

Voices of those you had met throughout your life played in your mind, rang in your ears as your body did what it could to keep you occupied while fighting to repare itself from the damage it had sustained.

Your body burned with heat and fever and you awoke in a layer of sweat that coated your whole body. You woke confused, in a place you did not recognise. A ceiling that did not resemble the dark grey one you knew so well was replaced with a plain white one. And what you were lying on was definitely far from the cold stone ground you were used to. A soft bed layered with mounds of blankets thrown over you and more pillows than you would ever need in a life time cushioning your head.

It was strange. You didnt know this place in the slightest, where were you? You werent sure if you could even move your body all that much to cheak, but soon that didnt matter as all your memories of what had happened before you passed out came rushing back to you and you shot straight up in the bed.

Turning quickly, you leaned over the side of it as your stomach lurched from the images that flashed through your mind in a blur. You retched and gaged until a few girls who seemed to be doctors or nurses of some sort came rushing into the room in a panic.

When you turned to look at the four who had just entered the room you recognised one to be the woman who you had seen approaching you before blacking out. You wanted to say something but your throat burned from the acid in your stomach after being sick. Even if it didnt, you knew you couldnt talk anyway, you hadnt been able to since you were very young. You also needed water desperately, having said that when one of the girls handed you a glass of water you were hesitant to take it.

You had had your fair share of trusting people you shouldnt have and you werent going to do it again. You had enough for one lifetime and now you would only rely on yourself. Your throat felt scratchy and continued to burn ever worse but you swatted the young girls hand away in retaliation. This was nothing, a little discomfort wouldnt get you to make a mistake like 'that' again.

You shuddered at the thought.

The white haired woman sat down on a chair next to your bed while the three young girls went about cleaning the mess you had made like they were used to it. The woman regarded you with a small bow. Something about her eyes made you nervous. Nevertheless she was probably the most beautiful woman you had seen in your life, that made you let your guard down ever so slightly. And when you caught yourself out for it, instead of making you more comfortable it just made you more stressed.

You didnt bow back but she didnt seem to be offened by it. If you did bow to her you somehow got the feeling that it would have made her uneasy aswell anyway. Then she spoke for the first time, in a silky smooth voice. It was soft like a lullaby and you couldnt help your mind from wandering to wondering what she would sound like if she sang.

"I know you must be very alarmed right now. But its alright you can relax, your safe now. Even if you dont fully trust me thats fine, i understand"

You stared in silence.

She continued with a sigh, bowning once again but this time lower, her hands rested on her knees, her head inches away

"Im so sorry that i did not arrive in time, if i had maybe i could have done something. I know nothing i say now will ease your pain, that all my words are just empty regrets but i pray you will be able to find comfort here and let go of any troubles you bare."

What the hell was this woman on about? She seemed to know your situation, what had happened to you, but how? Wouldnt the normal reaction be to accuse you from what she found? Was she in her right mind? Just who was this lady that she was fully on your side after seeing a bunch of dead bodies and solely you left alive running away from them? Covered in blood at that.

One of the three girls who looked like triplets lit a small candle on your bedside table and you were able to get a better look at the woman's face. It seemed that your earlier assumption was correct. Even in the dim light of the moon peaking through the windows it reflected off her snowy white hair and pale skin.

Now with the light of the candle it gave her a sence of warmth and familiarity rather than an aura of a cold and chilly woman with deep icey blue eyes. You subconsciously let your fingers run along some of the features of your own face wondering if anyone could ever see you that way. Of course, you wore a mask most of the time anyway so people would hardly know what you looked like underneath to even form an opinion. Even if they did you didnt know if you really wanted to know what it was.

Soon realising the fox mask you treasured was no longer covering your face, you looked around ferociously before noticing it layed out on the bedside table next to the now lit candle. You picked it up and traced your fingers along its groves before placing it back on your face once again, chimes clinking as you did so. Not feeling full without it.

Only then did you also realise that it was deep in the night. Dawn had just been breaking when you passed out so how long had you been asleep for? A day? Longer? And you still did not know where you were.

This all felt too familiar to a certain memory and it was starting to piss you off.

Seemingly reading your mind you got a few answers to your questions the next time the woman with the white hair spoke.

"You must be confused, i see that. I forgot to introduce myself, how rude of me. My name is Amane Ubuyashiki."

And then it clicked. You knew that name, you had heard it before from the man who had raised you, a retired hashira. Kagaya Ubuyashiki was the master of the demon slayer corps and Amane Ubuyashiki was his wife, or so he had said. So is that where you were, some base of the demon slayer corps? You now understood why she bowed to you like she did, she must have been feeling guilty about what happened to you but you didnt know how to feel.

Right now you couldnt feel much of anything. Or you felt so much that it all just blended together and you couldnt call it anything distinct. Maybe your mind was trying to conceal your true emotions for fear of what they would do to you. Lady Ubuyashiki continued as if seeing the cog wheels moving in your head and the information linking together.

"I see you know who i am. Thats good, then im sure you also know that my husband is the head of the demon slayer corps and that is where you are now. This is the Butterfly Masion." She then gestured to the three girls who had finished cleaning up, now layering more blankets across the end of the bed and fluffing pillows.

"Let me introduce you. These girls are Naho, Kiyo and Sumi, they, along with the caretaker Aoi, the insect Hashira owning this estate, Shinobu and her Tsuguko, Kanao, will be taking care of you until you fully recover. If you need anything just ask them."

She gently placed a quill and paper onto the bedside table as she said this. She must have already been told by one of the girls who treated you that you werent able to speak, if the deep scar that ran along your throat wasnt a tell-tale sign enough. You fiddled with the bandages that looped around some scrapes and gashes on one of your arms.

As you did this you couldnt help but wonder what she, Amane Ubuyashiki, was doing here. Couldnt one of the girls who was taking care of you explain all that? Was it guilt that was fueling all these actions of hers? You had heard that the leaders of the demon slayer corps were compassionate from the old hashira who took you in but you had never thought it was to this extent. You had some idea as to why you had been taken in by the demon slayer corps after they found you but where were you ment to go from here? Recover and then what?

"Become a demon slayer"

Your head shot up at her words.

Had you heard correctly? Become a demon slayer? You? You had always been told to stay away from becoming one. That you shouldnt because it was dangerous and you could be killed. But after what you had gone through it didnt sound as crazy any more. What really was the difference between humans and demons? To you they were all the same. Wheather it was humans you fought or demons, you would win.

Because your world was a world where it was either kill or be killed.

Live or die.

And you sure as hell had come too far, gone through too much shit to back down now. You couldnt take revenge on the world you were born into but you did take revenge on the ones who killed the people who called you family like you were of their own blood. Thats what the situation this woman, Amane Ubuyashiki, found you after. Passed out and covered in blood and wounds from head to toe.

But what about your family who was of your own blood? You had never gotten revenge for them. Back then you were far too weak to kill demons and most of all you were far too pure of heart back then to go killing anyone for that matter.

But now it was different.

Now your hands had been stained with blood and you were no longer the weak child you once were when you left that hut. When you left the safe confines of the second home you had been raised in by the old hashira. When you left full of hope on a warm spring day to find your own path in life but now you have ended up back on the path that you left and never dared go down because of that mans warning.

Only this time you were stained in the blood of those who wronged you and the light in your eyes had faded out completely once and for all, leaving only a retched heart and a hollow soul. This time you would dare yourself to go down that path.

But not for a noble reason or even a normal one.

There was only one thing you wanted now. Only one thing you had to know.

If killing makes you a monster.

Then demons must be monsters.

But if you kill a monster does that make you one as well?

Most people would call you a hero. But are there really such things as heros?

Those are all lies. The truth is...

Thats the price you have to pay.

For revenge.

Throw away your humanity and become a monster.

At the very least...

You wont become a demon.

Snapping out of your thoughts you noticed the three younger identical girls Naho, Kiyo and Sumi had all seemingly vacated the room by this point. You turned your attention back to the wife of the demon slayer corps master. Her facial expression remained composed but you could see her eyes filled with something akin to worry and or pity in the flickering of the candle light.

Dropping her head slightly and sighing once again she got up from where she was sat, turning to leave as she started "I apologise, that was abrupt of me. Please dont feel presured to respond right now, just focus on getting bet-"

Before she could make it too far out of reach you grabbed her hand. You could tell that you didnt need words for her to understand what you ment. Maybe it was the tightness of your grip on her or the unusual detemination in your usually lifeless eyes, but either way she returned your gesture with a small smile.

She didnt say anything else, other than patting your head as if in some sort of reasurance or comfort, before she got to the door of the room.

"I hope that sometime, even if its not soon, even if its in the distant future, you will be able to rely not only on me but also on our demon slayer corps."

With those last words she left you alone in the dark room that was only aluminated by the small candle light, which blew out curtly with the closing of the door.

~~~

A demon.

It was one of your earliest memories.

Not the first...but early enough.

How old had you been then? Maybe around seven?

You had always been chasing after your elder brothers back then. Wanting to help in any way you could. They had shielded you plenty times before when your father would get into one of his moods and take it out on you or your younger siblings in a fit. You couldnt shield your elder brothers like that but you could do other things to help. If they would just let you that is. Or rather, if your eldest brother would let you.

You were forever trying to carry and haul stuff to sell like they did but you had unfortunately inherited your mothers small frame which showed even as a child. Of course, that in no way ment you were weak, rather, you powered through out of spite, when they told you not to hurt yourself trying to lift something, just to make a point.

Your mother, despite her small stature, wasnt weak either. While you couldnt shield your elder brothers, she could and she did. She protected them, all of you, no matter the cost, even if it ment her getting hurt. Maybe she felt guilty for bringing you all into a world where you needed to be protected from your own father, raising you in a home that wasnt fully safe. She never let it show though, if she was sad or angry, she always wore a small smile donning her soft features.

You couldnt do what your mother did, couldnt protect your older brothers or wear a constant smile while hiding your own emotions, not back then at least. But still, you helped, although it couldnt have been said that you helped an awful lot. You would get tired afterwards and have to sit in the merchant cart full of things to sell pulled by your eldest brother. Maybe you could have done more, been more useful if your eldest brother hadnt been forever telling you not to help and to go play with your other, younger, siblings.

But of course you thought you had some sort of responsibility as the third oldest out of all your siblings. After all, the two eldest, Sanemi and Genya, were always looking after and protecting you all and your second brother was only a year older than you anyway. You did what you could but instead you ended up opting for cooking for everyone instead.

Since your father had been killed thanks to his own stupid personality, your mother, as well as your two eldest brothers, had to make the money instead. That ment your mother got back home late at night and was almost falling asleep while trying to cook for everyone. So you went around to anyone in the village who knew how to cook, house wives, shop owners of cafes or the nice old chef from the small restaurant on the corner and begged them to teach you how to cook.

It started off small, you wanted to learn how to at least cook well enough to make something edible. Soon with alot of hard work, for a seven year old, you got used to your own job in providing, taking care of and protecting your siblings and your mother.

Your family.

Those were some of your earliest memories.

But those ones arent the ones you were talking about. There was no such demon in those memories, unless you count your late father that is.

You wished that was true, you really did. He earned the title demon, not your mother. No matter what she did, no matter what happened to her, you would never call her a demon. Although you suposed others wouldnt agree with you, she had in fact been turned into one. One of those creatures. Slaughtering her own children, her own family against her will. Yes, against her will not the will of what she had become, what she had been driven to, turned into.

You all stayed inside the house, waiting for your eldest brother to return with her. That was when it happened, it was all so fast. One second everyone was rushing to welcome your mother home, the next red painted your vision and blood covered the room. You had run to welcome your mother as well but ended up stopping after hearing your second brother, Genyas, shouts to stop and stay put. Your siblings didnt.

It was probably thanks to him, Genya, that you ended up surviving, albet that didnt mean you hadnt gotten seriously injured. You remembered lying face down in a pool of blood, wheather it was yours or your siblings you couldnt tell. Looking back on it, it was probably a mix of both. The shock in your body stilled you from moving, moving to feel what the source of the pain in your neck was.

Instead you felt your brothers trembling hands press something akin to fabric against your neck. His cries and shouts faded away as he ran for help. You didnt want to be left alone then, you were scared but you couldnt say anything. When you tried the pain in your neck seared and an odd gurgling sound was produced instead of words.

Your head had started to feel fuzzy, you were probably loosing too much blood. But with the adrenaline now finally starting to course through your body, as it went into survival mode, you were able to push yourself onto your knees. Taking with you the piece of torn bedsheet your brother had placed on your neck to try and stifle the bleeding. Then you stood up fully.

Not only were you not in your right mind, your vision also started to fade and became tunnled. You dont remember most of what happened after that, it was probably the blood loss but you managed to haul yourself out of your house and into the woods, fading in and out of conciousness as you went. You wanted to leave the house to look for your brother, you didnt want to be left alone, but with the lack of blood you couldnt think properly.

Even if you could think straight you didnt think your body would have listened very well anyways. You only remember bits and pieces after that, while fading in and out, tredding through snow in the dark night. Even so, the moon shone down and eluminated the redness that trailed behind you. Holding the small piece of bedsheet fabric flush against your neck you could safely assume it was no longer the same colour as the snow that surrounded you.

A noise echoed in the near distance, but you didnt waver, you couldnt do a thing. You couldnt utter a sound never mind scream for help, you didnt even know where you were or where you were going never mind finding the source of the sound. You didnt even know if that was someone who could help or was a person at all. Nevertheless fragmented pieces of a figure not too far away in the distance from you stood still, regarding you cautiously.

Whatever it was seven year old you had plenty of fight, will, left but didnt have any strength in your body to back it up. A final ditch effort to take a few more steps forward towards whatever the hell that thing was was all it took before...nothing.

It wasnt the first time in your life that you had been met with darkness. You had often passed out after another of your fathers mood swings but this time felt different. This time felt more peaceful, a comforting sort of peace as if it was telling you that it was okay if you wanted to stay forever. That you didnt have to go back out into the harsh world anymore and endure. It sounded tempting, you wanted to stay, you really did but then you felt something, something familiar.

A hand.

Whose hand was it?

Your mothers?

One of your elder brothers?

That was it.

It felt like the warm touch of your eldest brother patting your head, or taking your temperature when you grew ill.

You had woken up to that touch every time you had passed out before and it was always a welcome feeling, a welcome sight. You wanted to feel that warmth again, see your brother again. See everyone again.

All you had to do was wake up.

You awoke once again to that hand on your forehead. You tried to snuggle further into it but it was quickly removed and you were instead met with the sound of furious shuffling. You opened your eyes to see a boy, quite a young one, he couldnt have been any older than your eldest brother. He regarded you with his shining deep blue eyes, his black hair falling over them, before pressing a cold wet cloth to your forehead.

"So shes awake" an elderly voice spoke from the corner of the room where the door was.

Two more people entered the room. One with orange hair and purple eyes who looked the same age as the boy next to you. The other man was much older. He reminded you of the old chef from your village who helped to teach you how to cook. Often times you had liked to pretend that he was your grandfather, even if that wasnt really true it was a nice thought, a comforting one. You guessed you never really grew out of that habit. The pretending. But you were afraid if you didnt reality would be too much to bear.

When you were young you would hear stories of demons from other children, from bedtime tales, and then when you couldnt sleep at night because of the monster in the closet and those scary tales, your mother would tell you it simply wasnt real.

But then you grow up. You find out that that was the lie. That they are real. And if theyre real, if theyre not pretend, then why should what you make up in your mind be any less real to you.

"She just woke up" the boy with blue eyes next to you answered the elderly man.

The elderly man kneeled down next to you on the oposite side of the blue eyed boy before swatting him away to get fresh water for the cloth on your forehead. The orange haired boy who had briefly left the room came back in with a pail of warm water and a bunch of fresh cloths, seemingly for any wounds you had sustained.

The elderly man wore a strange red mask and a blue haori with a cloud pattern. You couldnt see his face from underneath the mask but his voice was gruff and aged, sounding as if he had an answer to every question. You got the feeling he was somewhat of a wise old man.

You didnt know where you were, but you werent scared. Maybe you were too exhausted to be scared. Whatever the case you felt an unusual calm. Maybe it was the lingering ghostly feeling of a warm hand on your forehead or how the boy from before reminded you of your eldest brother. Or even how the elderly man reminded you of the old chef from your village.

You shouldnt have been feeling calm in this situation, it was as if your body woudnt let you remember all the bad stuff until it got well enough physically for you to be able to handle that reality mentally. The reality that everything you had ever known your whole life had been stripped away from you in one night, one second, one action.

Your body started to sweat more, you definitely had a fever, you could feel it coursing throughout your body now. You hadnt given the state of your body and how it felt any notice before due to the unknown environment you awoke in. Your head had probably been hurting the whole time as well but now it was pounding so hard it made you noticeably wince.

"Easy child...here" the old man took notice and ever so gently lifted a bamboo water ladel up to your mouth. The cold liquid sliped past your chapped lips slowly enough for you to be able to drink properly without choking on it. You realised how thirsty you actually were, you hadnt noticed that before either.

"Dont be afraid, your safe here, this is my house, nothing can get you here. My name is Sakonji Urokodaki, this is Sabito..." He gestured towards the boy with orange hair and purple eyes. His face contourted in a way that made his pretty features stand out even more, highlighting his beauty. He smiled in greeting with a little nod in your direction.

The boy with blue eyes and black hair from before entered the room once again, this time with more cold water for the cloth on your forehead. The man called Urokodaki gestured once again, this time towards that boy as he set the pail down near you.

"This is Tomioka Giyuu, hes the one who found you, or rather saved you. He found you walking alone in the snowy mountains, do you remember that?"

You didnt feel obligated to answer as the question sounded rather retorical, instead you opted to slightly move your head side to side from where you lay. You were instantly glad you hadnt tried to talk because after you shook your head a sharp pain originating from your throat shot through your nervous system. You flinched from the sensation and clutched your hand into a tight fist to try and relieve it somewhat. You now understood just why Mister Urokodaki had been so gentle when giving you water earlier.

Slowly you brought your hand up to where you felt the pain, gliding the tips of your fingers gently across your neck you became keenly aware of an unusual pattern across it. You felt as if you had just woken up fully since you had opened your eyes a few minutes ago. Running your fingers back along your neck once again you felt something prickly, almost sharp, running in a long line across it in a pattern of X's.

You hissed internally as it started to burn when you continued the motion after several times. The old man next to you watched from behind his mask for a long while before sending both of the younger boys out, leaving only you and him in the room now. Gently he coerced your hand away from your neck and back down to your side.

You looked up at him from where you lay, frightened for the first time since you awoke. Most of what happened the night before returned to you in fragmented pieces. Alot of it was foggy due to the blood loss. Had it only been one night since then? A day? Longer? It was bright outside from what you could tell, just how long had passed. Was everyone alright?

Your mother, elder brothers and younger siblings. Were they all okay, had they survived? You had seen with your own eyes how badly they had all been injured, all but your older brother Genya who ran for help. You didnt even know about your eldest brother, Sanemi, since he had gone after the thing that attacked you all. He was strong but could he have really survived that. Even if he did he would be gravely injured and could have succumbed to those injuries later on.

You started to hyperventilate, panicing now as the memories of seening your family slaughtered before your eyes returned. Along with wondering if there was an unlikely chance anyone was even left alive besides you. You tried to get up but your body felt like lead. You managed to push yourself up onto your forearms before you were stopped in your tracks by Mister Urokodaki, your efforts in vain.

"Breathe...breathe" he gathered up the cloth on your forehead, replacing it with a new one. As your mind slowly calmed down once again, you heard the quiet crackling of the fire from the hearth in the living room. It reminded you of home, when you used to sit everyday by that fire and cook meals over it for your family.

Glimpsing it just ouside the door to the room as you turned your head in its direction, you imagined yourself sitting by it, working away. A few of your siblings sat watching near you but not so close that they could get burned by the flames. The rest played farther behind you or outside just within your line of sight, waiting until you called them in for supper.

The family that you would never cook for again, never see again. It was like everything was normal, everything in the world was the same but they were gone and no one cared. You would live in that world knowing that the people who made the world worth living in were gone forever and you had no way of stopping it or getting them back. The fire would continue to crackle and burn brighter but it would never be used again. Never again would you look down on it with a smile, only quenching it with the tears that flowed down unto it from your eyes.

You were completely alone.

Your eyes streamed and poured and you wanted to hide your face in the pillow and scream your lungs out but even if you did you were afraid no sound would come out. All you could do was writhe in the old mans arms in agony until you were too tired to continue. He let you do so, patting your head so softly, so gently you would think you were something to be treasured and not just a now mute and orphaned child. A child who had no worth or value and no one who loved her any longer.

-

You lived to the best of your ability for the next year of your life and the memories slowly started to fade evermore. The pain remained but even that began to waver in time as you were showered in a new warmth, a new love. In time you learned about what it was that attacked your family that night. Mister Urokodaki called it a demon. You could only assume who it had been before it was turned, yet you refrained from doing so in spite of already knowing the answer deep down.

You got along with the two older boys, Giyuu and Sabito quite well as you all bonded over your unfortunate yet fortunate circumstances. It may have also helped with the fact that they were the same age as your eldest brother. You learned that when Giyuu found you he had been running away from some of his own village's people who branded him as mentally ill when he told them about his sister being killed by a demon.

It happened on the same night your family were killed and his village was only a short distance from yours as well. They were both connected by that mountain so it had been a lucky and coincidental meeting when he saved you. Although you just hoped the demon that had gotten your family hadnt been the same one that got his.

For a years time the two boys trained to become demon slayers guided by Mister Urokodaki. You often liked to observe some of their practice sessions. Although most of the time you were kept away as they took place in the harsh snowy mountains and you were still recovering.

You had been seen by quite a few doctors but none could say for certain that you would ever be able to talk again within your lifetime. Your voice box had been severed from the injury you sustained along your neck during the attack. You would be lying if you said you were surprised, if all the time you werent allowed to talk while recovering wasnt a good enough hint.

Soon Giyuu and Sabito left for their final exam, where if they passed they would get to become official demon slayers, part of the Demon Slayer Corps. You watched the both of them go, you remember it so vividly. Waving them off with Mister Urokodaki as Giyuu gave a polite wave back, his eyes still held a light of childhood innocence. Sabito waved as well before ruffling Giyuus hair harshly, both of them donned in Mister Urokodakis students signature warding fox masks, to protect them from harm.

A bit ironic, if you did say so yourself, considering you rarely ever removed yours in the years after this memory.

You wondered back then when you would get to wear one of those masks, when you would be the one waving goodbye to Mister Urokodaki as you set off to your own final exam instead of being the one left behind. Only what you didnt know then as you watched their backs fade away into the distance, as the sun set behind the hills, was that only one would return alive.

Giyuu returned not long after bearing the news, Sabitos signature patchwork haori in hand. It was like another of your siblings had been taken from you by demons. As if the first time hadnt been enough for one lifetime. Giyuu, Sabito and you had been together for a whole year, through thick and thin. You helped each other come to terms with what happened to you and they fervently took care of you as you recovered. They made you feel like you didnt need to be able to speak out loud to have someone understand you, as well as understand how you felt inside.

Now Sabito was gone and with him went the last of the light in Giyuu's eyes, the innocence and his childhood. Now instead of a sparkling blue they were dull, almost grey, like the cold sea after a storm. Giyuu had been deeply affected by Sabitos passing, to put it nicely. Sabito had been the strongest slayer in their final exam, he had gotten rid of every demon on that mountain except for one.

The one that kept killing all of Mister Urokodakis kids, his other students that came before them, your predecessors. But Sabito had been so horrified by what he found out that he had gotten killed. All the demon slayers survived and passed the exam because of him, Giyuu included, according to him.

Giyuu only came back to tell you both the unfortunate news, he now had to go out into the world and fulfill his duties as a demon slayer. You wanted to give him something before he left, now not knowing if you would ever see him again after he walked out that door. With what happened to Sabito, you didnt want to think about it but, you knew it was a very likely reality. Gathering the haori Giyuu had brought back with him you got to work.

Your stitching skills werent as good as your cooking but you thought they should suffice for something as simple as this. Back home, one of your other siblings or mother would always be the ones to fix any clothes that needed it but you had learned all the same.

Saying goodbye to someone is one of the hardest things to do. Especially when you cant be sure you'll ever see that person again in this lifetime. Hugs were shared and heads were patted, gifts exchanged and tears shed. You hugged Giyuu so tightly you thought your arms would break. You might not have let go if Mister Urokodaki hadnt persuaded you to let go to give him your present.

Out of a small undecorated box the blue eyed boy pulled out a half red, half patchwork haori. Half of the fabric being his sisters, the other, Sabitos. You werent sure if he'd like it but you thought he would want to keep both of them close in some way as a sign of remeberance. That was if you knew him well and having been with him for a year you were pretty sure you could safely say that you did.

In return you earned a small pat on the head and a soft smile that reminded you of your older brother, as well as a present of your own. A small silver windchime attached to a (f/c) ribbon. It sawyed back and forth in the slight wind and rung out a beautiful melody, one you wouldnt forget anytime soon.

~~~

You should have been nervous, echos ricocheted from the sound of your feet hitting the steps up to the entrance. You should have been terrified, with all you had gone through, with losing your family at a young age, to be entering this place. But you weren't. It was almost laughable, hysterical. You felt eerily calm, like when you first awoke in Mister Urokodakis house after your family was slaughtered and you were brought back from the brink of death.

The tips of your fingers ghosted over the scar that ran along your throat and you winced even though it had long since healed. As you ascended to the gates of the final examination of the demon slayer corps. You would finally quell the itch that was your constant crave for vengence.

For everything.

For what happened to you.

For what happened to your family.

For what happened to your friends.

It wasnt only that thought that calmed you though. The chimes that hung from your fox mask, the one that is suposed to ward off bad luck, as ironic as that sounded now, they sounded out through the air like they had done many a time before. They played the same tune they always did.

The tune they played when you first got them. The tune they played when you were at your lowest and when you decided your path in this life. It was always the same sound, the only thing that stayed consistent in this messed up box this world stuck you in. And it brought you back down to earth like it had done over and over repeatedly.

Only this time, hopefully, the path you wished to travel from the start, the path of vengence, for your family, would be wide open and finally ready for the taking.

☆☆☆

What mysterious past does Y/n have that we dont know about yet? 🤔

What situation did Amane Ubuyashiki find her in?

What happened to the people who treated her like she and they were blood related?

Come back for part 2 to find out🤗 (if i ever get around to making it that is)

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x y/n #sanemi shinazugawa #genya shinazugawa #giyuu tomioka #kimetsu no yaiba #kny x reader #kny sabito

[pleasetiemyshoelaces]

It will only ever be abuser logic for Lily to believe that it’s everybody else AROUND her that’s always been the problem, and never she herself.

its a mix of that and what was sold to her as a kid growing up.

Like yea lily is responsible for who she is today But it didnt help matters that the adults around her were saying all the same things.

Nothing ever WAS her fault, not if you asked our dad, or our mom, or the doctors, or the social workers. It was always "well she has xyz diagnosis so....."

thats why she clings so heavily to that kind of thinking now, its what she was taught growing up.

I was held responsible for my actions as a kid. If i did something wrong i was lectured for hours on end. And i got lectured A LOT. I was the "good kid" but thats COMPARED to lily. I still talked back to my parents all the time, called their bluff, didnt treat them as my parents other than on a surface level that we all knew was pretend.

I still skipped school, id just soften the blow of the lecture by cleaning the entire house while i was home alone. And its not like my grades suffered when i skipped school, i was a good student and had solid marks until my last year.

Hells i had a whole incident where my father searched around the trailer park for me in his car because the school called him and told him i had skipped ( i called in sick for myself it was SO OBVIOUS ) I hid in and cut through backyards to keep out of his sight while i watched him search for me.

Till I had my fill of the excitement of evading someone searching for you and walked the main road home so he could find me easy

i got screamed at that night. i also cry at the drop of a hat, its not something i like its actually really frustrating but its not something i can control. Any emotion extreme enough will activate my tear ducts. So id cry when i got lectured, wouldnt make a show of it would just keep my head down and try to hold the tears back

"stop crying or ill give you something to cry about" was something i heard OFTEN, from the man who used to hit me as a "game"

I got called a whore by my mother when i was 16 because i spent the day and evening with my at the time boyfriend (we dated for a hot minute in highschool i dont actually count it as a relationship) cuz he had a car, i MUST have been taking my pants off

didnt matter that i had a cell phone, was answering her texts AND calls while i was with him all day. Didnt matter that i had told her where id be and called her an hour before dinner to tell her i wouldnt be home for dinner because Wesley was taking me out.

"You were off doing gods knows what with that guy in his car" is what i got when i walked in the door

"Sorry mom, i may be your daughter but that doesnt mean im the whore you were. I dont open my legs for a car door" was my response

(Courtney thats mean) yea well dont slut shame your daughter after you told her you fucked dudes in parks without knowing their names

All because i went to dinner with my bf, after working all weekend and before i had to go back to school the next day

i always had to weigh the consequences of my actions against the outcome before doing them, because i was always going be lectured at the end of it. Even if i did the right thing it wasnt "right enough"

but Lily? oh well its not her fault you see, its the diagnosis whether shes threatening you with a knife or failing english class molesting you in your sleep or struggling with social cues

#courtney orchard #courtney peet #lily orchard #lily peet

[etherealspacejelly]

i feel like infodumping so here is my opinion of every new who companion!!

Rose Tyler

shes the og, shes That Girl, she is the moment! (lol, get it?) Rose was one of the best companions fr. her love story with the doctor is so beautiful and so tragic and honestly, he Needed her. ninerose >>> tenrose i said what i said. 9/10

Jack Harkness

very fun character! they kinda ruined him in torchwood a little bit. some of the earliest explicit queer rep in mainstream media i ever saw, if not the first! i loved his dynamic with rose and nine. 8/10

Mickey Smith

my sweet boy, my babygirl. he deserved so much better fr. dont get me wrong, i love Rose, but the way she treated Mickey was so mean. also the doctor hated his ass for no reason other than he was competition for Rose's affection. plastic Mickey was iconic. 8/10

Martha Jones

ICON!!! QUEEN!!!! i Love Martha soooo much. she was the only companion to Get Out and i love that for her, she deserved it. she slayed fr. however i do kinda hate that most of her character was simping for ten like. girl. stand up. 9/10

Donna Noble

Oh My God, incredible. cant wait to get her back!!!! the adipose scene through the windows???? hilarious, i can quote every word!!! she gave the doctor a run for his money and i love that for her. she was exactly what he needed after Rose and Martha, just A Mate. 10/10

Amy Pond

my favourite companion!!! eleven was My Doctor tho so thats probably why. every episode of season 5 is a banger. i love that she and Rory and River became a family to the doctor. love her. little Amelia is so cute and grown up Amy is a total badass. fish custard/10 10/10

Rory Williams

my beloved <3 hes so boyfriend fr. raised my standards as a kid. he waited 2000 years for her ;-; 10/10

River Song

hello sweetie :)

i love that her story was told backwards, very interesting narrative choice! knowing that she was always doomed to the library was so tragic. learning all of her secrets over each series was very fun and satisfying!! 10/10

Clara Oswald

hmm. not one of my favourite companions. she's ok i guess? the impossible girl thing was kinda cool but i dont really like her as a character. 5/10

Bill Potts

YESSSS! i love lesbiabs. lessbiens. women. her ending was super sad tho :(

she was cool and fun and gay 9/10

Yasmin Khan

hrm. boring. didnt have much of a personality, not really her fault the writing was just so shit. she had potential!! thasmin 4 lyfe! 4/10

Ryan Sinclair

yea. no. dont like how they made his dyspraxia a fun quirky thing that he just. magically got over somehow??? its a literal disability. my brother has it. it could have been so interesting to see how that manifested over the course of his travels with the doctor but its almost like they just. forgot about it?? also he was boring as hell. 2/10

Graham O'Brien

i literally didnt even remember his surname, i had to look it up. he was just kinda. there. a little more interesting than Ryan i guess?? but. still. 2/10

Concluding remarks

looking forward to Donna coming back and meeting the new companions!!! i hope the writing is better in this season :/ chibbers was Not It. anyway. thanks for reading my silly little ramble!! special interest go brrrr

#doctor who #rose tyler #donna noble #martha jones #amy pond #bill potts #clara oswald #dr who #special interest #robin rambles about his hyperfixations

[jennycalendar]

Martha's season was so hard to sit thru i literally walked away and didnt watch donna's season for a year (tragic!) like it was so grueling to get through. i kept waiting for the turn around or the realization or the moment where SOMEONE in the show would acknowledge the doctor treating martha like shit and by the time martha left i didnt even feel catharsis just like relief. like thank fucking god shes out. and even that was soured by them pairing her with mickey bc like. its cute and i think they would be sweet but its also SO transparently just rtd pairing off the two black side characters. martha's season coming between rose and donna as this weird mean abberation in a show about the doctor celebrating his companions where she is dismissed over and over again like.

sorry seeing u react in real time made me remember how fucking weird and awful that season was. rtd get the fuck away from her right now

to clarify that last ask was NOT a rejection of any iteration of tenmartha. handled by literally anyone else tenmartha could have been fucking Huge.

YEAH YOU GET IT. YOU REALLY DO FUCKIN GET IT. especially since i'd argue that ten sets the PRECEDENT for cherishing his companions an unhealthy obsessive amount! so to see him constantly belittling and dismissing martha and her love for him is doubly awful because of that????? jesus christ.

and i agree! i was obsessed w martha/mickey as a concept but then i saw the execution and i'm gonna fucking kill rtd for marrying them offscreen after giving martha an adorable fiance who loves her. it very much felt like he didn't know how to end mickey's story because he ALSO fucked mickey over so he just, like, Gave Mickey Martha to hand-wave-y go "they're both happy now i guess" even tho this directly destroyed the happy ending he ALREADY wrote for martha. awful.

#asks

[shreddiman]

OHHH!! yall aint ready for this!

I WROTE A ONE-SHOT >:D

Care

Sebastian x M!Reader

!conext¡ the skull mines are my enemy and i wrote this based off that! this is my first real one-shot, so id love any feed back! ENJOY <3

---------------------------------------------

I woke to the white light of Harvey's Clinic. Worried murmurs were muffled from outside the room as my eyes adjusted to the blinding light.

I knew what happened, and though I was covered in bandages the only thing hurting was my ego. Shame and embarrassment suffocated me, and it only got worse when Harvey walked into the room, Maru at his side.

My face paled at that and I kept my head down as I stared at my lap. I was about to get lectured, again, and in front of her no less.

And for the record, no. I dont have a crush on her. Even her dad had assumed it, giving me the old fashion "stay away from my daughter" threat talk. I was tempted to tell the man I was gay, but when gossiping to Maru about her dads many issues, she was thankful i hadnt.

adding that to the list. . .

"Y/N! oh thank goodness you are awake, it took you longer this time round. You werent holding out on me now, were you?"

Maru gave a look as I glanced up, my silence caused a flicker of frustration across her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. My mouth formed a thin line as I looked back down at my lap.

"Hm, 'This time around'? What do you mean by that Harvey?" Her voice was sweet, but I can tell without looking there was a bitterness in her tone. All those times I bumped into Sebastian, Robin.. hell maybe even Demetrius, her father, and lied to them about my state of health? Well the cats of the bag now.

"Oh you dont know? This kids a wreck! Goes out to the mines, comes back half dead," Harvey turns to me, a stern look on his face that I catch a glimpse of as he sits down on his stool.

"Listen kiddo, I dont know what Im going to do with you. You really gotta be more careful. Let me do one last check and then Ill send you on your way, alright?" He bent down a bit to catch my eye, I reluctantly nodded and laid back to allow the doctor to do his thing.

-

It was raining, and it only dampened my mood. I was aching all over, the pain medication Harvey had give me for the time being a weight in my hand as I shoved them into my pocket.

It was still early, and with so much time in the day it felt useless to go home and rest.

The walk to the beach was short, my mind elsewhere as my body moved on basically auto pilot.

The change from wet sand to slippery wood is what caught my attention, and I nearly missed the figure standing at the end of the dock. Sebastian was there, hair damp and flat as his cloths looked darker than usual from the rain. He mustve been out there for awhile.

Thinking about it, one of the first days I had moved here, I found him sitting in nearly the same spot. He talked about how weirdly calming it was, even in the unforgiving downpour. At first, I had laughed at the thought. Being cold and alone in the rain? I couldnt see how thatd bring comfort at all.

Yet, here I was.

I hadnt even said anything, approaching his side as I sat down on the wet wood. I felt his eyes on me, but the feeling grew more intense as I suddenly felt my arm being tugged. I whipped my head toward him in surprise, seeing his concerned expression as he examined my wounds. I felt my embarrassment return.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked, looking up from my bandages, that were starting to fall apart from the rain, and at me. I wanted to look away from his gaze, feeling shameful but the stern look he gave made me feel like a kid who had gotten caught.

"..Mines. I wasnt as careful as I shouldve been." I say, blankly. I doubt that no matter how sorry I was, he'd be off the wall upset that I had lied to him. I just didnt want anyone to worry about me, I didnt want to think about how difficult it would be to explain the concept of this stupid game I was playing with life.

He dropped my arm, a look of slight betrayal on his face. Taking a deep breath he slumped down beside me, his arms crossed over his chest. Just like his sister, heh.

There was silence for awhile, the rain filling in the gaps of unspoken words. I knew Sebastian wanted to be angry with me, maybe he felt since I was physically injured he'd spare my feelings.

"I wish you wouldve told me, how dangerous it was."

Spoke too soon.

"I know, Im sorry. Your sister gave me the dirtiest of looks when she saw me at Harvey's." I gave a weak chuckle, even with the gray sky's I had hopped to lighten the situation, if only a little.

The lack of reply made me feel uncomfortable, so I continued to ramble on,

"I didnt want people worrying over me. I know thats terrible to say, and impossible to wish for- we're humans, it's natural to worry, to"

I paused, almost as if my own words were surprising me.

"to... care."

I held my arms out in front of me, seeing the damage done beneath the bloodied bandages. The image before me getting blurry as my eyes filled with tears. I opened my mouth to speak, but I wasnt sure I trusted my voice.

"I didnt think.. people cared about me that way. Hell I, I think Im afraid of it. Of people caring. Maybe, I dont deserve it,?" I basically whispered my confession, my shame coming back to hit me 10x harder when I saw Sebastian stand.

This was it, this was the crushing reality I had been waiting for. I wouldnt shut up, and now I made him uncomfortable. Maybe I can understand why Shane prefers his drunken'd state.

All that doubt washed away as Sebastians hand came into view.

"Cmon, lets get out of the rain. Youre starting to shiver."

I was shocked, but obeyed regardless. Taking his hand he pulled me up, wrapping his arm around me to hold me close. I felt the color return to my face, he was out in the rain for as long as me, if not longer and he still radiated off heat like he was a mini heater.

It wasnt long till we reached his house and walked down to his room.

"Stay there."

He stopped me outside his door. Before I could ask why, a clean pair of cloths was presented in front of me, "Bathrooms upstairs to the left, past the kitchen. Change into those and come back when youre done."

I stared at him in disbelief. I wanted to ask so many questions, but all I could muster was a soft,

"Why?"

He stared for a moment, a soft smile stretching across his face as he placed a hand on top of my head.

"Because I care."

---------------------------------------------

aggressively exists, vibrates, kicks legs!!

SO, did you enjoy it :)? im lowkey very happy with it but ngl i barely do this good at writing so dont expect a part two 💀

(unless you ask nicely..maybe)

ANYWAY THANKS BYE LOVE YOU MWAH

#sdv sebastian #oneshot #fanfiction #stardew fanfic #stardew valley #male reader #x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian x farmer #im feral for the emo

[died-but-not-dead-propaganda]

Kim Dokja Propaganda

he canonically dies seven times <3 he's tried and avoided dying even more than that. multiple characters in text have asked him to stop dying.

He literally plans his own death out and then gets surprised when it happens and people react to him dying he's so stupid I love him

he does it 12 times i'm not joking

i lost count but he's died and come back at least 4 times. mf won't stay dead (affectionate) but he's also so damn smug everytime like he didn't just give all his friends lasting trauma for the 3rd time that week

He is like, the perfect person for this tournament. He dies, and dies, and dies like every 5 seconds. And the majority of them are emotional. I think. Like, we know he's not actually dead but his friends don't (in most of them).

So here's some of my hightlights (Contains spoilers):

-His first death was by being incinerated by a dragon's breath (not really interesting, but it's his first death).

-There was an scenario(missions? kinda?) where they had to kill the strongest in the dome and nobody knew who it was so there were two really strong guys having a duel and while everyone else was busy watching it he killed himself behind a building and just waited for everyone to notice (he was the strongest in there).

    +People called him ugly at his funeral

-Idk if it counts as a death but he sacrificed himself and got expelled from the system and I don't remember if his body was destroyed but I think yes. So this would normally mean you will die for real so everyone thought he was dead but he kept his soul alive by talking to himself and eating garbage and went to a doctor and leaded a coup d'etat and gave birth(? kinda?) all while pretending to be someone else.

-He was asleep while using a skill to watch his friends have a serious discussion about his kinks and dies.

this man. keeps. dying. everytime he dies it traumatises his kids and friends and then he does it again! eventually they just straight up locked him up in gay baby jail in an attempt to get him to stop dying. it didnt work. hes a disaster and i love him

That man CANNOT stop dying istg (via sacrificing his life) i don't even know how many times he's died,,, (it's the suicidal tendencies and the feeling he doesn't deserve a happy ending lbr)

(warning for spoilers in the next paragraph)

he has 1)died by throwing himself at a giant dragon 2)died by throwing himself in front of his blorbo/reason for living (who has threatened to kill him multiple times) at the hand of the woman who later on become his daughter    (he came back from those 2 in a few minutes with a power that allowed him to resurrect if he saves 100 people) (he then lost this power and gained another that allowed him 7 resurrections but with a longer delay)

3)died by asking his internet bully/best friend to kill him to save the city  4)there was a prophecy he was going to be killed by the person he loves most. his mum killed him knowing about his resurrection power and hoping it would complete the prophecy. it did not. (fun fact he was passed out when that happened and his previously mentioned best friend was defending him, and she allowed the shot to hit his heart to avoid it hitting his crotch #priorities)  5)sacrificed himself by turning into the villain and making all his friends kill him to stop his blorbo from doing the same. fun fact he was the one to deliver the final blow and it did satisfy the prophecy. also for reasons his resurrection power didn't work here (he still found a way to come back though! but it was much more difficult and complicated

also, it's irrelevant to all this but he literally gets adopted by hades and persephone at some point and becomes the heir to the underworld

anyway this is very long and does not include all his deaths i don't think but you get the idea! orv is very good i promise don't get fooled by my shitty description lmao

This ridiculous man has an addiction to dying istg. He makes a point of obtaining every ability he can that allows him to return from death and chooses to throw himself in harms way constantly. His companions has to sedate him just to get him to take a break because he just will not stop dying on them. Hes a hamster of a man. Hes also just so pathetically average and abnormal at the same time and its great. Throughout the whole story, people try to convince him to stop sacrificing himself for them, but he just keeps doing it because he doesnt really know how else to show how much he cares because he is incredibly emotionally stunted (its the trauma!). Orv is legitimately such a good webnovel, it changed my brain chemistry permanently. Its a really great read because it contains a little bit of everything, so you get to enjoy a bunch of different genres. Its also pretty fast paced but not rushed, so the plot is always moving forward but not feeling forced. There arent really any plotholes either, because it accomplishes what it set out to do as a story. Only issue some people have getting into it is that the first chunk of chapters are kinda slow, but it really starts to pick up after the disasters and keeps getting better from there. Also that it has 551 chapters, but these chapters are all necessary, trust me. The ending is so good. Just try to avoid spoilers some if you do check it out; they dont necessarily ruin the experience but some major plot moments are revealed. Also, I really reccommend reading the actual webnovel instead of the manhwa(which is the webtoon) because the manhwa edits a lot of things out and is much plainer than the actual story. Anyway, sorry that this turned into me telling you to read the novel instead of campaigning for kdj. But! Its what he would have wanted, seeing as he once read a webnovel as the sole reader of it for over 10 years.

Okay so. This man has died over 10 times (I'm not counting the exact number I'm sorry). He got burned to death fighting a super dangerous dragon, he died IN FRONT OF HIS FOUND FAMILY. then he pushed another member of his found family away from a fatal attack and took it on himself, causing him to get a huge hole right through his stomach and said member of his found family to go beserk over his death cause he didn't know he'd come back to life. He then asked a different member of his found family to KILL HIM. because he needed to die for everyone else to survive or whatever so he convinced her to kill him even though she didn't want to. And then HE GOT KILLED BY HIS FOUND FAMILY AGAIN. because once again he had to 'die' for everyone to survive but specifically he had to be killed by his found family, so he got stabbed through the heart by one of his found family members and then crumbled to dust in said family member's arms. He 'died' and disappeared for 3+ YEARS , and came back just as his ff were finally moving on from him. (Also he came back in a giant squid form that couldn't communicate with the FF at all and almost got killed my the ff AGAIN...) there's... A lot. More but it's been a while since I've read the novel so I don't remember every single death unfortunately but yeah 👍

He died like 12 times and traumatized all his companions with that

Over the course of 100 chapters, this man managed to die and get revived FIVE GODDAMN TIMES. And he keeps doing it. Nobody's doing it like him fr fr

i’m still read orv but as far as i’ve heard that’s his whole thing other than being gay for the protagonist of his favourite web comic who is real now

hoooo boy. i think he dies around 8 times in total? and somehow each time is worse than the last..... the first 3-4 times he has a skill that lets him regenerate, so its mostly fine (there is some good angst about his companions worrying he died for real, though, and at least one funeral scene).

then theres a prophecy about how he will be killed by "the person he loves most" and, without spoiling it too much, hes killed by the person he loves most. sword through the heart and touching last words and everything. its fucking DEVASTATING. he survives with a bunch of cheat code bullshit and then next time they see him is weeks or months later in the fucking demon realm with a body thats falling apart.

then a while later he almost dies AGAIN but when they go to save him he gets kidnapped and sent to another world and they dont see him for FOUR YEARS. hes obviously presumed dead while hes off in another worldline trying to get back

uh. there might be more than that. this novel is VERY long. anyway it gets to a point where any problem thats too big gets solved by him sacrificing himself while his companions scream and cry and beg him not to. and then he shows up later like "see! i survived :)" and they get so upset because why does he keep DOING this??? and he doesnt see the issue because he did it to save them! its a happy ending as long as no one dies (but not me though. its fine if i die as long as no one else does)

anyway, all this to say. basically his defining trait is that he dies and comes back. hes infamous for it and his companions start to hate it about him. one of them literally tries to pay a HEAVY price to ensure that he cant die anymore. hes GOTTA be on this bracket

Self-sacrifice is the only way he knows how to express love because it's the only form of love he was shown as a child. He keeps dying for his companions even while knowing that he is traumatizing them and thinking that they will hate him for it eventually (just like he hated his mom) because he thinks he deserves to be hated. The entire novel is about saving him. My god.

This man has died (and revived) about thirteen different times (I think? Very easy to lose count), and that’s only including successful attempts, he tries to sacrifice himself many more times. His companions are literally begging him to stop killing himself to save the world. They come very close to just tying him up so he can’t go running off again.

In terms of his general character he is just a guy who hyperfixates on a bad webnovel for 13 years straight, I’m talking about 3000+ chapters that he was the sole reader of because no one else made it past ch100. Then when the webnovel gets its final update the events of the novel start happening in the real world, as the only person who has read to the end he has vital information to save the world. He pisses off the protagonist within a minute of meeting and then proceeds to have a high-key homoerotic relationship with him, with both of them becoming so intertwined that neither would exist without the other and creating a timeloop that sets the entire plot into motion (I can’t go into more details without spoilers). If you’d like more details then I highly recommend the YouTube video “badly explaining all of omniscient reader in 6 minutes” by ferd because it’s hilarious and leaves out just enough context that you don’t even feel like you’re getting spoiled because it’s so batshit

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #dokja kim

[wild-moss-art]

hi moss! I hope you are having a good day!! I was wondering if you were willing to share how you convinced a doctor to yeet the uterus :O are you scared about having a major surgery? (I am, as always, having The Thoughts.)

<3 I hope you're having a good day too! It is a long story and kind of personal but I'm happy to share bc I know that it's really difficult to find info on, and if anyone has questions you can feel free to dm or send an ask. Gonna put the story under the cut.

First of all, I live in america and this will all sound very american lol.

In the interest of not burying the lede, my working theory is that I have endometriosis or adenomyosis; these are notoriously difficult to diagnose. Endometriosis is only diagnosable through a laparoscopic surgery and adenomyosis is literally only diagnosable through getting a hysterectomy and having the tissue biopsied. If you don't want a hysterectomy, you can't get an official diagnosis.

Now to the backstory. I think my medical history and experience advocating for myself medically had the most impact on being approved for this procedure.

I have been on hormonal birth control since I was about 13 or 14 practically as soon as I hit puberty I had debilitating periods. I was missing a lot of school and obviously this didn't look good for my parents, so I was put on the pill, and later when I was older I switched to IUDs. The birth control basically put a bandaid on the problem, and the IUD eliminated my period altogether.

Near the beginning of this year, I started to have a lot of pelvic pain that I initially thought was a UTI. I went to the doctor who kept telling me I didn't have the bacteria for a UTI, and basically sent me home with some antibiotics anyway, which didn't help. They did not test for any other problems. I ended up switching doctors due to insurance purposes, but was also put off by the care I'd received.

When I went to the next doctor, they were actually willing to run tests. This doctor and every other doctor I've seen since initially insisted I must have an STD. A panel was run, and I was fully clean for STDs. I was referred to a urogynecology specialist, as my main symptoms at this point were pain(which they do not care about- didnt even put it in my file) and difficulty urinating(this symptom I believe is the only reason I was able to get a referral to a specialist).

While I was waiting for my urogynecology appointment(they were pretty booked out), the pain got worse, like a lot worse. I was also having more and more hormonal symptoms like heavy acne. I was able to move my appointment up but ended up going to the ER. At the ER, I posted about my experience which I can link if you'd like but I'll include the relevant info. The doctor hadn't looked at my age on the file and initially DENIED testing because I was "too young". He came back later and approved it, because he actually looked at my fucking file. From this point on I've been livid and ready to fistfight every doctor Ive seen.

I was at the ER for like 10 hours and got a CT scan, which showed all the inflammation in my uterus and little in my bladder, which was when I began to realize that the bladder issue was just a symptom and not the problem. The original doctor was off duty toward the end of my visit, and the new doctor came in for briefing when she mentioned they needed to run an STD panel. I told her I'd had one about a week ago that was fully negative. She said "I need to go talk to my supervisor."

Ultimately, I was released from the ER with a prescription for extra strength ibuprofen and a referral to a gynecologist. They said my IUD was stabbing me internally, and needed to come out. They did not take it out at the ER.

At this point, it was time for my urogynecology appointment. At the appointment, I told them about my ER visit and asked if they could take my IUD out. They said they didn't really do that there, but after I showed them my CT scan results, they did it anyway. I felt a lot better, immediately. They were helpful and awesome, but said that they mostly treat bladder problems, which was clearly not what I had.

I didnt feel fully better though, because hormonal birth control keeps endometriosis and adenomyosis symptoms and pain at bay. The pain has gotten gradually worse, but it's not longer quite as sharp and stabbing. I've been doing a lot of research about these conditions thanks to a helpful tumblr mutual, and I believe I have adenomysis. I'm not sure whether I have endometriosis.

I followed up on the gynecology referral from the er; I am really happy with this clinic so far. They are the ones that offered the hysterectomy. In my initial appointment, I mentioned that I was not on birth control and wanted to be sterilized. They asked if I wanted birth control in the meantime. I said no(I believe this helped).

(as an aside. Another reason I believe I was offered what I was is that I am married. When I listed my partner as an emergency contact, they specifically mentioned that I did not take his last name. I believe this says something about our relationship to doctors. I know often they will ask for the husband's permission in this scenario; however, they did not even bring him up beyond the last name thing.)

When I met with the doctor for a tubal ligation consult, we talked a bit about the procedure and what other symptoms I was having. I also got an ultrasound that showed inflammation in my uterus(as well as a medium sized cyst on my ovary. lmao). He said the tubal ligation would not help my other symptoms. When I mentioned my CT scan, he actually left to go look at it, returned and immediately asked if I wanted kids. When I said no, he told me he could give me a hysterectomy.

We went over some details; just a hysterectomy is a pretty non invasive procedure and doesn't even require an incision. He mentioned that it may or may not fix the whole problem(it would fix adenomyosis which only affects the uterus, not endometriosis which affects other organs) but that it's pretty complicated to remove the ovaries because it's a more invasive procedure and basically I'd have to be on hormones to simulate menopause for a really long time(I'm only 27). So that is an option, but it's better to just see if the hysterectomy fixes my problems.

The surgery is in 10 days from now and I have my intake consult on tuesday. I plan to update cause again, I know not a lot of people talk about these experiences and it would have really helped me to have known more going in. I really cant wait, I've basically been bedridden, cant exercise, can't stand for long periods of time, not much at all. I'm lucky my livelihood is sitting on my couch drawing.

Finally, I believe that it is possible that they wanted to sterilize me due to my mental health history. I am in ongoing treatment for my mental health, and have particular diagnoses that I do not disclose publicly. You can message me if you'd like to know this information.

#ty for the ask <3 #im sorry this is so long lmao. it has been a lot #I do feel all this is relevant though. I don't think I could have just rolled up to my general doctor's office and asked for a hysterectomy #nor do I think I could have rolled up to the gynecologists office and asked for one without the history #im not sure how to tag this so that people could find it if they need to lmk if anyone has suggestions #moss is sick as in cool but also as in sick

[goodfully]

oh god i cant believe ive finished reading the neapolitan novels already, its over??? ahh okay thoughts on the last book "the story of the lost child"..

honestly i was dreading the last maybe twenty pages bc i didnt want it to end hahaha. its crazy that everything we've read is essentially all for lila. "i who have written for months and months and months to give her a form whose boundaries wont dissolve." ahh!!!!! what!!!!!! to spend so much of the book saying how much lila suffered and feared from dissolving boundaries, how she had been so overwhelmed during the earthquake when the entire world felt like its boundaries were dissolving, and then say that everything shes written is to keep her from dissolving herself... my goodness. "i loved lila. i wanted her to last. but i wanted it to be i who made her last. i thought it was my task. i was convinced that she herself, as a girl, had assigned it to me." wow... you ever loved someone so much... also.. the way lenu was saying how connected they are, that even tho she has written a lot about her own life in these pages, "the very nature of our relationship dictates that i can reach her only by passing through myself"??? god.

i think my favorite parts of the book were all when lenu and lila were so close to each other during and after their pregnancies. i just thought it was so sweet, the way they were basically a family together, two mothers and their children. going to their doctors appointment tmr, taking walks together, taking care of each others daughters like their own.

i have to admit that i was confused by the meaning of the dolls at the very end, but i love that the openendness of the ending was referring back to something unanswered (where were the dolls) from one of the very first scenes from the first book (altho very interesting!, considering how not too long before the end of the book, lenu was telling imma not to believe in the cyclical nature of society). to me i thought, perhaps also it could mean that (assuming its lila) lila chooses existing (with lenu) over disappearing? actually, when tina disappeared and dede had accused lila of losing tina on purpose, i immediately thought it made sense. the first thing we literally know about lila is how she has felt the need to erase herself completely, and tina parallels/is an extension of lila the way imma parallels/is an extension of lenu. lila wanted to erase herself without a trace, and there was literally zero proof of tinas death/kidnapping/existence.

in the same way lila wouldnt be able to erase herself completely without also erasing tina, i think about the idea of how the ppl we love will never truly be erased if we love them? thats why even if tina disappeared, lila cant be erased bc lenu loves her. like how, whether its on purpose or not to keep her mother alive, lenu finds her mothers existence with her in her limp. i think the same could be said about the solaras, who altho arent exactly loved by the neighborhood, are important enough to most ppl in the neighborhood and their power is still felt in the neighborhood after their death. also, i think its a little different, but im reminded of when lenu said something like the many fragments of ourselves are scattered like splinters or something (altho i think the context here was about their children). but no one is ever never really gone, i think.. oh.. i go crazy every time she talks about her relationship/similarities with her mother (the ancestors in her body when she was physically violent back against her mother, and the.. "must i watch you become worse than me?"), and her relationship/similarities with her daughters (her daughters reaching the same age as the ghosts of her girlhood), and every time the imma/tina relationship parallels the lenu/lila relationship.

i was thinking that this book was more of accepting yourself and your origins, whereas the other books showed lenu and lila trying to escape them? perhaps acceptance of the past and the agency you have despite the past that defined you? like when lenu realizes that ninos actions are not attributed to his father, nino is his own person and he himself is the reason he is a piece of shit man, not just bc of the man who raised him. and that part when lenu said that antonios tone resembles the neighborhood, but it is entirely his own. more so when lenu had published her third book and said that only words and stories from the neighborhood were the only ones with meaning, and that she no longer felt she was a victim of her origins but was capable of dominating them and using them to climb higher. stuff about the past and present colliding. it reminds me of when mariarosa said something like, a woman without love for her origins is lost, or something.. i kinda forgot what the context was tho.

oh another thing, the closeness between the childhood neighborhood friends meant so much to me.. like there was a moment when carmen said that lenu and lila are her sisters during that little gathering with the neighborhood group of kids now all grown up just talking to each other... i think theyre like family, they grew up together. when lenu goes in the neighborhood after moving back to naples and is talking to carmen, lila, and enzo again... they care so much about each other. and talking about how much they love pasquale too no matter what hes doing. sobs.

this just reminded me of nino.. (he was there the first time, but whatever! he kinda wasnt.) when lenu makes nino come over, i was so pissed... and i had a feeling something bad would happen while he was there, but tinas disappearance was not what i was expecting.. oh but enzo.. my beloved, he was so caring and attentive, not only to tina but also imma. ahh.. while im on the topic of men, the part when gennaro and stefano find rino, and gennaro had to listen to stefano yell insults at rinos dead body and then beats up stefano while crying that he is disgusted with himself for being his son. it just made me really sad.. these are the two adult men he has and is related to..

tbh francos death sticks out to me mainly bc he said something that i honestly believe and live by, i repeat it to myself to not relapse into whatever mental illness, "it [is] a good rule not to expect the ideal but to enjoy what is possible", but then he kills himself immediately after and it... makes me so fucking sad.

lenu said this only in the beginning about feeling the hostility from her mother/lila and felt estranged from them, but i often think about freedom vs loneliness. i suppose its also something throughout the whole series, with how much she wanted freedom and to escape from her origins, she /was/ lonely. and the time spent trying to be on her own without lila was also lonely. the end of the entire series when she felt her friendship with lila must have ended... that was lonely. i think in this fourth book, lenu expressed a lot more of her love for lila.

anyway... overall i loved the entire series so much... i am so glad i read it finally, its some of the best books ive ever read. im on a trip with family rn and every time someone asks me what im reading, i really dont know how to summarize all four novels all together in a way that explains how good and thoughtful it all is. also i know its adapted into a show, which i really want to watch eventually! i still cant believe im done reading tho.. like what do i do now! ahhhhhh

#finished reading #the story of the lost child #neapolitan novels

[keo-k]

sometimes i think i wasnt an injury-prone child and then i realise im gaslighting myself

tw: fair descriptions of injury?? if you dont like blood uhh dont read <3 this is just me reminiscing on being a child who thinks they cannot feel. pain. sorry if its incoherent im very sick and life feels like a fever dream and i did not sleep last night! this is so diary-entry-core TLDR i had a lot of random injuries and a few medical mysteries.

i keep looking at the middle of my chest like "man where the fuck did i get this scar from" and then i remember this one childhood day where i was filled with hubris and slid down a chain in a playground and my skin tore from under my shirt and i started bleeding terribly ill also occasionally look at the permanent callouses on my hands and remember running down a hill at full speed, followed by rolling down a hill at full speed, crashing into rocky concrete, looking down at my hands and being utterly terrified because they're entirely covered in blood???? its all red??????? also spinning on the biggest rock in the rock garden in front of my house after a friend's birthday party blowing bubbles when i lose my footing and land chin-first into the sharpest rock there, getting blood all over my favourite party dress and having to go to the ER for 6 hours and getting, not stitches, but glue. yeowie. i scratched most of the scar off somehow, just tearing the skin off my face because i didnt like the texture. its still kind of there if you look at the right angle. being in gymnastics class, doing beat swings on the high bars, thinking "whey my hands hurt im gonna drop and get some chalk (for some reason. its not like i was slipping i was just yeowch)", dropping down, looking at my hands and LO AND BEHOLD three inches of the skin beneath my ring finger on both hands is sticking up stupid vertical ! i couldnt use my hands too good for the next two weeks, also the skin sticking up WAS NOT DEAD so i couldnt trim it without feeling excruciating pain. like cutting your ear off :( not really a "when i was younger" thing, still valid now, but i have hyper mobility so im stupid flexible. especially in my ankles! like i cant do sports without wearing ankle braces on both legs. even that cannot save me sometimes, i still die. anyway my mum thought i was a piece of shit and was faking my ankle injuries bc the limping would last like. a whole month wowie! then we realised i just have bad joint. also i can hit the splits anywhere without stretching, i can walk on the literal sides of my ankles (not like. the sides of my feet no no no. go even further beyond.), i can fold my fingers backwards into silly lookin curls without any pain and keep them there no issue, and i have gotten many MANY greenstick fractures even after my bones developed a lot because my bones soft and refuse to break like a normal persons. like my basketball coach will bend my leg back to test how far it goes and i wont feel any pain and he'll say like. "oh thats waaaay too far back to be safe." and ill laugh because it can go WAY further back! and i hate it !

BONUS: ME BEING A MEDICAL MYSTERY WOOOOO up to age 8 i would have these ... seizures? all throughout the night. i would shake super aggressively and it wouldnt wake me up. my mum filmed it one night when she finally caught it on video (she would stay up HOURS ON END trying to catch it. wild). the shaking would start like a twitching at my fingers and would travel to my hand, to my arm, to the rest of my body and youd think i got fucking electrocuted. anyway she showed it to doctors and they brought me in immediately to scan my brain for fuck knows what and they didnt. find anything? like my brain activity was completely normal. they didnt let me out of hopital for a week cus theyre like "THIS ISNT NORMAL SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS KID" but. womp womp. we never found out. i dont shake anymore but i do shmove a lot. like, a lot a lot. and im always tired and im capable of falling asleep standing up. and have minor chronic fatigue. also i had a bullseye-type thingy on my thigh that really, REALLY looked like a tick bite! i was in immense amounts of pain and couldnt properly walk. there was a dot in the middle, and this surrounding ring of red would expand and shrink overtime. very reasonable to think of it as a tick bite. anyway my parents carried me out to the car in the middle of the night so we could go to sick kids. they measured how much the ring would expand by (i dont remeber number. it was beeg.) and then they sent me to the ER out of the concern that i would get lyme disease. they tested me or something idk i was unconcious and. IT WASNT A TICK BITE! you may be asking "so what was it, mr gorgeous fish?" um. well heres why this is in the 'medical mystery' section. they never found out. it went away a day later and we were just like "ah. okay." so. whoops. when i was a toddler they put me in an mri thing where they uh. strapped me down because toddlers usually freak out and damage the mri thingy? anyway. was in there for two hours. and i did not freak out. at all. i was asleep for one of the hours, but the second one i just laid there very awake and very still and the doctors thought i had brain. damage. i didnt! yay ! i also have many chronic illness now. weeeee i probably missed a lot of my stories here but anyway. heres me being silly