#the line: you dont understand what im saying to you at all is so CRAZY to me and it HAUNTS me because isnt that it??

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

This is an analysis of Kaveh and Alhaitham’s argument posted on the Port Ormos bulletin board!! Because it is crazy actually!!

I think this exchange of theirs out of the three posted throughout Sumeru is particularly interesting, and this is due Alhaitham openly expressing that Kaveh does not understand what Alhaitham is really trying to say to him: “I have never denied what you meant, but you don’t understand what I am saying to you at all.”

This exchange is relevant in various ways in exploring the motif of communication. As according to their usual rapport, the two disagree over their differing philosophies, as in sensibility versus rationality, however, Alhaitham’s particular concerns in Kaveh spending his money on “nonsense” highlights the underlying reason for this exchange. From this comment, the argument is recontextualised through Alhaitham’s intention for getting involved, as Kaveh prompts the workmen to take his money in order to help them out.

When Alhaitham states that this is a meaningless action due to the inevitability of people rising or falling on their own accord, rather than solely critiquing Kaveh’s “impulsiv[e]” altruism, as Kaveh interprets, Alhaitham is directly contradicting his own comment – as he is interfering on Kaveh’s decisions.

As concern is evidently the intention behind his interference, Kaveh cannot perceive this, and instead attempts to critique Alhaitham’s perspective in return, although Alhaitham states: “Make no mistake. I have never denied what you meant…” This response asserts that Alhaitham does not deny, but rather agrees with, Kaveh’s statement of “mutual assistance, fairness, and righteous anger” driving the world.

In lieu of this, rather than continuing the argument, Alhaitham claims that there is no point to it, as Kaveh does not understand what he is saying, as in, Kaveh does not understand that his intentions in interfering are out of concern. He follows this up, regardless, by criticising Kaveh’s handling of his budget, as, evidently, Kaveh has offered to give his own money to these workmen, and refuses to pay for Kaveh’s drinks for that month.

For Alhaitham, Kaveh’s lack of self-prioritisation leads him to impulsive altruistic acts which serve to jeopardise his own position, particularly regarding money. If Kaveh can afford to give away money, he can afford to pay his own tabs, is the takeaway from this exchange. Although, similarly to the exchange between them posted in Puspa’s Café, this applies to one particular month, insinuating that Alhaitham will continue to pay for next month’s tabs of his own accord.

The main argument, as well as the disagreement over the speaker of Kaveh’s quote, serves as a humorous exchange, but as a motif for communication it acquires a new meaning. The two hold perspectives which contrast the other which puts them on unequal footing, demonstrated within the argument over the speaker of Kaveh’s quote. Although it is not disclosed who is actually in the right, both are convinced of their respective viewpoint. There is an element missing here, a potential solution to this problem, and it lies within the idea of “correctness” established within A Parade of Providence.

The omission of there being an objective, correct answer to this particular debate serves as a parallel to their conflicting viewpoints, with the basis of their exchange being to “prove” to the other their “correctness” – here, it is in regard to Kaveh.

However, “correctness” being the basis of their exchange, and thus, relationship, is challenged with Alhaitham shutting down the initial debate due to Kaveh’s misunderstanding of his meaning. Correctness, then, and its importance, is called into question within this exchange, with Kaveh being the one to chase it; his last message being that he would “prove” himself to be right.

At the core of this bulletin board exchange is the idea that Alhaitham harbours an alternative ‘meaning’ than the one that Kaveh assigns to him: “… you don’t understand what I’m saying to you at all.” This is a meaning which Kaveh cannot perceive due to his current understanding of Alhaitham. This represents the standing of their current relationship, where Kaveh believes Alhaitham holds him in disdain, although this belief is incongruous with Alhaitham’s actions which show his care for Kaveh.

In these instances of communication through the Bulletin Boards, it is interesting to note that Kaveh is revealed to have been drunk and “scribbling” on these notice boards, and hopes that Alhaitham does not know.

Although this is a humorous detail, it adds another layer to the unreliability of their method of communication, as Kaveh has no recollection of these exchanges with Alhaitham, and therefore could not have properly interpreted Alhaitham due to an altered state of mind. It is uncertain whether Alhaitham is aware of Kaveh’s being drunk whilst responding to him, or whether he is believed to have been lucid, which creates another element of unreliability in their exchanges.

Alhaitham understands Kaveh’s thinking and the reasons for why he acts as he does, but he cannot articulate his concern in a way that Kaveh will understand, both out of Kaveh’s incapability of receiving goodwill, but also due to his logical manner of expression. Kaveh perceives Alhaitham’s concealed expressions of concern as personal gripes and criticisms of his beliefs, and therefore believes that their relationship is based on the scholarly principle of proving the validity of one’s philosophies.

The Port Ormos Bulletin Board reinforces the core essence of their relationship: Alhaitham is invested in a personal regard, whereas Kaveh cannot see this due to his perception of Alhaitham and Alhaitham’s inability to communicate in a way Kaveh would understand.

(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)

#i have analysed the other two bulletin exchanges as well!! #but this one has stood out to me the most ever since i read it #alhaitham has expressed to kaveh at least twice that kaveh misunderstands him #this occassion and in a parade of providence with: the issue we’re debating has long since moved on from whos right or wrong #or something of that accord #but will kaveh ever hear this if alhaitham doesnt express this in a way that cannot be misunderstood #also i love the incessant mention in all of the sumeru posts that alhaitham pays for kavehs tabs #not just his drinks but everything on a bill #and whenever they have a clash like this alhaitham drops a month and then picks up every other month #kaveh how are you seeing that he really doesnt have to do that #the line: you dont understand what im saying to you at all is so CRAZY to me and it HAUNTS me because isnt that it?? #isnt that the core issue???? or one of them at least plsss they have so many #the essay editing is coming along!! thank you for your patience!! its the longest essay ive written :(( #alhaitham #haikaveh #kaveh #kavetham #haikaveh meta

[snekdood]

also if it makes me seem weak to you bc i dont actually wanna kill things-

dawg.

imma say this as if im your close personal friend whos very concerned about you, your wellbeing, and how you've been lately-

you sound like an actual nazi.

#i think true strength is being perceptive enough to know when bloodshed is entirely unnecessary. #diving in head first to a bloody battle and grinning with glee for it- kinda makes it hard to not look like a nazi then. #im very distrustful of people whomst violence is one of if not their first instinct in resolving conflicts. #i grew up in stl ok. ik that shit aint a joke. and it shouldnt be treated like one. #when you say that shit- people WILL take it literally. #unfortunately even if you're joking or not serious. ig tone plays a huge part but no one can read tone online. sooooooo............ #not knowing if you're joking makes you even less trustworthy. #yes yes ik ive made jokes like that before why do you think i understand all of this so well. #been there done that. its old news. #but im saying this to you rn as a warning. bc ive met people irl who are like this. who wanna be violent so quickly #and see their love for violence and tendency toward it as a quirk- meanwhile other people see it as an actual threat they're making. #and like i said- stl- so its something you dont wanna mess with or risk your life with even if they are just joking and being quirky in an #edgy teenager kinda way. i avoid those people as much as i possibly can. acting like this is naturally repelling. #kinda the reason i used to do it. but idk if the ppl ik who do it or did do it do it for that reason or not. #no one knows if you're acting that way as a defense mechanism. they see whats on the surface. so you cant be mad at them for #avoiding you. be realistic. ppl are repelled by you and your method of political advocacy. so maybe its time for a change? #otherwise you will attract all the wrong people. people who might not just be kidding. people for whom it may not just be a quirk. #and you dont wanna find yourself in a situation you cant easily leave from bc you have some crazy freak w guns keeping you in line

[chiiyuuvv]

• PAIRING — bestfriend!xikers x gn reader (i think)

• GENRE — "imagine if we were dating" prompt, shy, fluff, angst in minjaes, screaming at hunters, yeah

• WORD COUNT — 880

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — i got this idea when i was reading some skz texts. Basically, you were saying "what if we were dating" but you already dating- wait lemme just

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle @hyunukitty

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

Doesnt find your joke funny

Theres a very clear line of best friends and lovers and besides, theres no possible way you could like him back

Zoning out a lot, trying to understand his feelings more when he just blurts out what was on his mind. Because you guys are close, he could tell you anything, right?

“No, no its fine. I know you obviously dont like me and it’s okay, i just wanted to get it off my chest. Im sorry i made you uncomfortable.”

He was already on the verge of tears, but when you tell him you love him, more than just friends, he just bursts out crying ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Just goes along with it

Holds your hand, puts his arm around your shoulder. Refuses to call you by your name but babe

Likes that your getting flustered because hes screaming on the inside

Gets so into his role that he leans into you, your noses touching and hes about to kiss you. Until wait a minute and just pulls back with a sheepish smile

Daydreams for the rest of the day about the almost kiss. And when he drops you to your house, he finally does it ♡

SUMIN

Freezes; were you reading his thoughts? Were you able to somehow see his dreams? H-how did you know??

He tries to play it cool even though his face is burning red. "Y-yeah.. that'll be crazy right?! Haha.." he clears his throat

But to his dismay, you already knew about the massive crush he had on you, as he was very obvious

So you use that to your advantage, scooting extra close to him, your hands shadowing over his small ones

"I like you too, stupid." You would laugh, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as his face gets even redder ♡

JINSIK ☆

"Yeah, imagine if we were dating." He would take it as a joke, lying down and fantasizing about your lifes as a couple

"I would take you to this hot air balloon festival, since i know you've always wanted to go."

Has this smile on his face until he stops; were you actually serious?

You had to be joking, there was no way this was directed to him, right?

Almost stops breathing and his mouth is dropped open when you kiss his cheek. "I like you, jinsik." ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

Your question honestly made him sad

Because wdym “what if you were dating?” no, he didnt want to pretend. He wanted to live his dreams, he wanted to be with you

So he gets a little quiet, looking down as hes lost in his thoughts, a little teary eyed

Snaps out of it when you call his name, and would say he’s okay even though you know he’s lying

So with all courage, you confess to him. And when you’re done, he’d pour his heart out to you ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

He’s completely taken aback, the silence making you feel a little uneasy

“B-but i mean.” wouldnt even let you talk without pressing his lips against yours, his face completely red but he doesnt care

Would kiss you again if you tried to talk, getting to the point where hes just peppering your face with kisses

Would have the whole rant about how much he loves you

Then it would be your turn to cut him off with a kiss ♡

SEEUN ☆

Also freezes; the first time hes speechless

Theres a long awkward silence, your faces red and seeun twiddling with his thumbs

"I mean I- well we- or m-maybe-" struggles to find words

"We can definitely start it slow.. i-i mean, it you wanna, i can understand if you dont b-but you decide haha!!!"

After you agree that you wanna take it slow, he would have this shy smile on his face, holding both of your hands, looking down the entire time ♡

YUJUN ☆

Would have the cutest smile on his face

“Dating??” the giggles he would let out, gosh

Like jinsik, he would fantasize about how everything would go, his ears red

But that turns into convincing you to go on a date with him. He’d treat you so well, buying anything you want

“I mean.. I wouldnt mind. I already love you and i know you do too, so why not we just make it offical?” ♡

HUNTER ☆

"If we were dating?" He would stop as you were walking through the park

Has this cheeky smile on his face. "I think i would do this."

Grabs both of your hands with a warm smile, checking to see if you were comfortable before tucking some hair behind your ears, his eyes filled with love

"You're so pretty." He would mumble as he picks a flower out of a bush next to you

Lifts up your chin and slowly connects your lips, moving in a slow but meaningful pace ♡

YECHAN ☆

The boy would not stop giggling

"I-if we were dating?" He would burst out laughing, making you think he's making fun of the question

Would stop laughing when he notices your frown

"I-I mean.. if we were dating, it would be so nice and we would wake up together and text pick-up lines and-" his face was bright pink as he was rambling

Stops when he notices, "i-i'd think i like it.." ♡

#xikers #xikers fluff #kpop #xikers drabbles #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #xikers fanfiction #xikers au #xikersau #xikers headcanons #minjae xikers #xikers minjae #junmin xikers #xikers junmin #sumin xikers #xikers sumin #xikers jinsik #jinsik xikers #xikers hyunwoo #hyunwoo xikers #xikers junghoon #junghoon xikers #seeun xikers #xikers seeun #yujun xikers #xikers yujun #hunter xikers #xikers hunter #yechan xikers #xikers yechan

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for yelling at my friend when i found out he had sex in my car?

i (26f) lived with my friend John (26m) when we were in college. John didnt have a car, but i did so i did most of the driving when we needed groceries/whatever we needed to go out for (it was a college town so it was mostly walkable, so we didnt need to drive every day). i have issues with other people using my car, especially when im not there (if anything goes wrong id rather it be my fault than have to deal with someone else totaling my car). but John had a girlfriend (Sarah) who also didnt have a car, so he would sometimes borrow my car (with my permission ofc, he never took it without me knowing) to take her on dates. when they were gone, i would constantly be nervous that something went wrong. there would be times they would go to a movie, then they would be gone for longer than the movie's runtime and i would get so anxious that something happened, then find out that they had just gone shopping/to dinner/etc after the movie ended. i never bothered saying anything because i didnt want to seem like a control freak saying "you can only borrow my car if you tell me exactly what you're doing and when you'll be back"

anyways, fast forward to now. i got a new car a couple years ago, John and i no longer live together (not because of any problems, we just got our own places after we graduated), and he is still with Sarah. one day John, Sarah, a few of our other friends, and i were all hanging out.

then at one point, Sarah made a joke about having sex in the car after Yesterday (the beatles movie from a few years ago). then i said "hold on, didnt you guys borrow my car to see that movie?" and everyone got really quiet. i turned to John and said "you had sex in my car???" and he tried to laugh it off but didnt deny it. and i got MAD. i was yelling at him and admittedly was pretty harsh (like calling him insensitive for violating my trust & property)

he said something along the lines of "i'm sorry, but it was a long time ago and theres nothing i can do to change it, and you dont even have the car anymore" and i realized he was right, and that screaming at him wasnt going to accomplish anything, but i was still mad so i left and went home

i asked some of my friends that were there if i was being crazy, and they basically said that it was understandable that i was mad, but yelling at him in front of everyone just made them uncomfortable and killed the vibe for the rest of the night, and there was nothing any of us could do about it now. no one told me how Sarah reacted, but she has really bad anxiety so knowing her, im guessing she didnt take it well that i got mad about something she said, and i do feel bad about that (though, in fairness, i assume she knows common decency and would know that having sex in someone else's car is wrong)

anyways, i dont think im the asshole because i think i have a right to be upset about that, and even though it was a long time ago i JUST found out about it so it wasnt that long ago for me. but i know i might be the asshole just because i yelled at John in front of our friends and made everyone uncomfortable over something that he can't do anything about anymore, and since i dont even have that car anymore, it has no impact on my life

tldr: my friend had sex in my car years ago and i found out about it and tried to fight with him about it in front of a bunch of our other friends, and it made everyone uncomfortable. so, am i the asshole for getting angry years after my friend had sex in my car? 🚗

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[coolprettyleo]

know its for the better - begin again au ☆

wc: 1.8k

tw: drinking. angst. family angst. kinda fluff. slut shaming. I think I got them all

ryan leonard x hughes sister au

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

ryan and frankie walked down one of the busiest streets in boston; frankie hoping to find inspiration and ryan trying the make sure she doesn't kill her self doing so.

he couldn't understand why she was so reckless with her life? she was very loved and important to so many people. i mean he knew he loved her when he first met her. why couldn't she see how amazing she was?

"I have my fake with me, plus the bouncer adores me so i think i can so get you in" she says acting annoyed but secretly happy. even though she wanted to act like ryan coming along with her was a drag, it wasn't. she liked having him here. it made her feel seen.

"frankie, i still dont think this is the way to solve things" he says to her as they get in line to go into frankies favorite bar.

"not everything has to be solved it just has to be dealt with, and this is how im dealing with it" she said with an eye roll.

ryan opened his mouth to say something but stopped when her phone when off. he sees her screen light up with a Group FaceTime call; her brothers. but to his surprise she declines?

"spam call" she waves him off after she sees ryan eye her skeptically.

"you didn't tell them yet?" he said after a moment.

ryan knew her too well.

"nope" she says popping the 'p'. "and I dont plan on it anytime soon" she adds.

"so you just plan to lie to them for the rest of your life?"

"its not lying, its avoiding. I dont lie" she said not looking at him.

"I think you’re scared to tell them because you know once you tell them. It’ll be real" he says looking at her with a challenging look.

"ryan. this is real life right now, your not dreaming" she says sarcastically, wiggling her fingers in his face.

she was so cute. even if she was being a pain in the ass.

they got to the front of the line, where the bouncer was and frankie was quick to whisper something into the bouncers ear. the bouncer eyes running up and down ryan, before ultimately deciding to lift the rope and letting them through.

"I dont think I want to know what you told him" he said to her as she pulled him by his shirt collar. something that he found to drive him crazy.

"dont be dirty, I just told him you were my gay friend. so dont get with any girls tonight please. he'll know im lying"

your the only girl I want.

"im here to watch you, not to get with girls and party" he says seriously as she orders them drinks.

"no. if im going to let you follow me around like a puppy tonight your going to party with me mr. leonard." she says handing him the drink throwing him these eyes. eyes that have gotten her everything she's ever wanted. those eyes. eyes that made ryan want to complete every wish she's ever wished.

"if I take this shot with you, you have to listen to me, tonight. I know you like to run away. so dont"

"okay! yay!" she says as she pinky promises him.

__

frankies hallway filled with giggles as ryan said another dad joke. she kept her promise and didn’t run away. it was one a.m. and it had honestly been the earliest she came back from a night out. and to her surprise she was only tipsy. ryan had actually kept her good company all night.

"did you hear the rumor about butter" he says while leaning against the wall as she looks for her keys in her purse.

"ryan shutup please" she said laughing.

"okay. I wouldn't want to spread it anyways!"

"oh god" she said as she looked at him with so much adoration. she didn’t realize how much she needed someone to care and to show they cared. the way ryan did.

“thank you ryan” she said seriously. and a thought couldn’t help but bloom over her mood as she realized what was most likely going to happen.

“anytime pretty” he said as starred into the eyes that make him want to do flips off rooftops.

“I know drew is your teammate and everything, but like please dont be a stranger”

“im sorry?” ryan was confused to what she was trying to say.

is she drunk?

“like im saying since i won’t be around as much anymore and you guys are probably going to wanna be respectful to drew and stuff, just dont be a stranger. so please if you, will, and gabe ever see me just dont be afraid to talk to me. i’ll always be nice.”

ryan couldn’t belive his ears. she thought they were all just going to stop talking to her?

“franks. just because my teammate is an asshole doesn’t mean we dont care about you. you are a person who is easy to love and unbelievably smart. and im sorry drew couldn’t see that. you dont deserve that at all” he said looking into her eyes as Frankie’s eyes couldn’t help but water.

this was the nicest thing a guy has ever told her.

“you really think so” she whispered just realizing how close they were standing next to one another. he smelt like what frankie would call a comfort smell. and as she looked at him she just wanted to trace every one of his freckles while he told her everything that’s ever happened to him.

“I do” he said. luckily for ryan. this wouldn’t be the only time in years to come he would say this to frankie. they both leaned in as frankie stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. a kiss that made her stomach do flips. a kiss that made his stomach do flips.

ryan couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her waist as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders and bring him closer. the kiss felt like they’ve searched for one another their whole lives. it felt right. time stood still.

ryan pulled away first as he realized they were both tipsy and she was probably more tipsy then him. the insecurity of she was going to act like nothing happened tomorrow creeped up on him.

“what’s wrong” she said with a hand on his cheek. her heart dropping when he pulled away.

“im sorry, i shouldn’t. we shouldn’t. we’ll talk tomorrow, go inside frankie” he said stepping away from her.

“did I do something?” she said feeling her heart drop.

“no- its just- i don’t want you to wake up tmrw and regret this, i want it to actually mean something and I dont want to be just another guy to add to your roster” he says not knowing that made frankie feel like shit.

I mean she knows herself she's the type of person to have a good time. but the fact he just thought she was going to play him? is that what drew thought when she was getting with him.

maybe thats the reason he never opened up to me

“dont worry your far from it now ryan!. have a good life” she said opening her door.

“frankie i didn’t mean it like that-“

he couldn’t even explain himself because the door had already slammed in his face.

frankie didn’t know why ryan saying that hurt her so much but it did. he basically just called her a whore in her mind and she wanted to run into her room and scream into pillow. but of course her life never went her way.

standing inside were two out of her three brothers looking like they wanted to strangle her.

“where the hell have you been” luke yelled. as jack got off the phone with whoever he was talking to. mumbling something about how frankie just walked in.

frankie was actually speechless. she never thought her brothers would make the trip to boston to see why the hell she was ignoring them.

“out of all the irresponsible things you’ve done in your life , this has to be the worst. mom was so close to calling the cops. she’s on her way with dad. we thought you were dead!” jack scolds her as she takes off her coat.

"thats a little dramatic"

"no! it isn't. we gave you space but then imagine our surprise when your coach calls and says you quit!" luke counters back. "if your having a manic episode or whatever they call it, tell us. we'll help you" Luke adds in a gentler tone.

frankie wanted to do nothing but run away as she just starred at them. the fear she had been running away since she quit was standing in her living room and they were standing their angry.

"does mom and dad know" she said after a long silence.

"yes. we all have. we've been waiting for you to own up to it and tell us though" jack answered.

"is everyone mad at me" she said as her eyes filled up with tears.

"im mad that you've had us worried sick. I mean I had to resort to asking rutger and gavin to ask their world jrs teammates if they've seen my own sister" Luke said with a scolding look. one that looked scarily similar to her mothers.

"dont listen to him, I dont know why you were s scared to just tell us. its not going to change anything between us" jack said as he walked over to his little sister and gave her a hug.

frankie didn't like hugs. she felt so awkward with them but in that moment she wanted nothing but to sob into her older brothers arms like she once did when the other girls at school were making fun of her because she played hockey and didn't do dance or cheer like the rest of them. she needed her family.

"cmon Luke" she said opening her arm out to her brother who stood of to the side. Luke accepting because he could never stay mad at his little sister.

"just dont ever do this again. if you want attention go find yourself a lover or something" Luke said laughing as they pulled away.

"hey! none of that" jack said not thinking anyone was ever going to be good enough for his sister.

"dont worry jack, I need a break from boys" she said with a sigh as she remembered what happened with ryan about ten minutes ago.

"dont talk to us about your boy problems thats why you have Quinn" jack said gagging.

"quinn also wants you to call him" jack said as he started walking to her guest bedroom.

"you good?" Luke said as he started settling into her couch and noticed her sister looked as if her mind was far else where.

how do I tell him I ruined my reputation. everyone thinks im a slut.

"I dont know"

#nhl imagine #ryan leonard #frankie x ryan #gabe perreault #will smith hockey #nhl imagines #bc hockey #hockey fic #hockey imagine #gabe perreault x reader #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #hughes sister

[commonghost]

100 Epitaphs thoughts!

Alright, so like I said yesterday, I unfortunately did NOT have the time to write out all my thoughts and had to wait until tonight to do so. No particular order to these, it's word vomit time.

(warning: this is LONG. it's not even all my thoughts. i cut myself off at parts. this song is so good guys.)

1) YURA AS THE SUN!

I'VE BEEN FUCKING SAYING AND IT KEEPS BEING THERE AND I KEEP GOING INSANE ABOUT IT. especially in conjunction with the fact that, yknow, the sun hurts sanya. the icarus symbology is THERE it is PRESENT i KNOW this is gonna down that awfully (sanya please dont die. but also that would be the perfect resolution. GOD) and i'm so ready for it.

ALSO: "ready to be blinded by the breaking day" -> "the visionless (sergei) leading the blind (sanya)", and we know she's got bad eyesight. doesn't mean it couldn't get worse. the lines "loose compromise / where the sun won't set / as long as i can set the stage" are also interesting wrt yura-as-the-sun, as you can take it both as sanya saying that as long as she has any kind of control she will stick with yura and help him in whatever insane plan he's got going on, but it's also her saying that she will always, always make the choice to put herself in danger.

yura is the bright relentless sun, and sanya's got very sensitive wings.

2) the parallels between sergei and sanya!!!!

i think what really fucks me up about them is that, at their core, both of them just want to keep the people they care about the most safe. for sergei, that's sanya (and olga, but she's a grown woman who makes her own decisions while sanya's his little sister and also his only remaining family, so it's different), and for sanya it's yura (who, to her, represents freedom—"but the wiser you is [FREE]"—and an escape from her current life, which is everything she dreams of.) and it absolutely ruins their relationship!!!! and it ruins me!! every time!!!!

and on that note, "the tepid autumn day is starting to thaw" is 1. a genius a callback ("a thousand years ago it was a tepid autumn day" + "a day will come warm and bright when i tear down these dismal shelter walls"), and 2. a signifier that shit is about to Get Real. even if you don't read the explanation in the doc, we still understand that the action is going to pick up like crazy very soon. i believe someone also mentioned how it could represent sergei and sanya's relationship going downhill, although im not the expert on that so i wont do more than mention it.

3) this was SUCH a good dive into sanya's character.

honestly her songs have consistently been my favorite of the lot and i think it's because her personality and her character are just. perfect for these kinds of character studies.

this entire song is at once her forcibly entering herself into the narrative after being so completely seperate from it for like, the entire series up to now (there were some very good posts by some very skilled people on this exact topic but alas i have lost the links to it, if anyone has them lmk) and ALSO an exploration of her trauma (almost everyone she knows seemingly dying on her or disappearing from her life in another sense) in such a fascinating way.

there is such a depth to all her actions here and the song explains why she clings on to yura as much as she does, and it's because he's (along with sergei, but she resents him for isolating her) all she has left, really! of course, there are the BG gang, but they aren't as involved in the story and sanya doesn't seem to be as close with them as she was with yura. it also gives another dimension to her wanting to join in rescuing KT: this isn't just her wanting to rebel and/or do something with her life (both of those things already being associated with anya & yura respectively) but her having the chance to get someone she cared about back into her life after they were taken from her. of course she'd want that, after a lifetime of losing people.

a bit of an extension to that last point, i think it's also really incredible how ferry manages to portray how complicated sanya's relationship with yura is. i find these two shots in particular ->

<- really interesting, because they are actually really similar! i think it's a great way of showing how sanya is both angry and resentful of some of yura's worst traits and refuses to stand for them, but that they are still at the end of it all friends who have fun together. they're just kids who have no idea what they're getting into! if you look closely at the second one, she's shushing him for being too loud. (hell, i'd be willing to bet that she probably felt similar to how she felt before yura snuck her out to her first party right then.)

her (budding) dynamic with dima is also quite fascinating, and manages to say so much about her, her thoughts about KT, and dima all at once. it's just masterful. her segment with him displays:

the fact that she deeply cares about KT, and wants this to go as perfectly as possible, even going so far as to put herself in more danger than necessary.

her absolute determination to get this done, even though she knows she won't make it out unscathed ("i'm aware no soul can enter / roam its halls / and come out clean")

her feelings about her family and how she perceives herself and the legacy she has been given ("and it's like that / and i'm like that / and i'll always bear this stone")

dima feeling actual empathy after meeting another mutant! poor guy has no idea what's going on. but i think it's a really important step in his character and might even get him to actually open up.

i need to stop with this section before it takes over the whole post.

4) KATA-FUCKING-BASIS! (and eurydice!)

(thank you light for teaching me that word)

not much to say about this one but the descent-into-the-underworld vibes are off the fucking charts! we got death imagery with katya already with THIS:

and so, in a way… whoever makes the trip to the facility? to retrieve katya? the metaphorically dead girl? that's a trip to the underworld, baby! that's katabasis!

and you know who else goes through katabasis to retrieve a girl from the underworld and bring her back out?

that's right!

ORPHEUS!

which. like. we already kind of knew it, but.

this plan isn't gonna work out well, is it.

#pafl #parties are for losers

[dykesagainstgojo]

ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals

to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was

#jjk #jjk spoilers #geto suguru #gojo satoru #character analysis #I GUESS???? #sometimes to feel better you just gotta open tumblr type a lot of shit not reread it tag it as analysis and hit post #satosugu #but not really

[austinsastrology8991]

> NUMEROLOGY THEORY < get mad

This is easily my most controversial post. but if you want to watch me spit in numerology face, then please read away

Alright i love my numerology. But i think its complete bullshit. Ive read so many sites and intepretations but they just say the same shit everytime, but when they explain themselves im like wtf that barely makes sense - for example life path 3 is jupiter, and it means; creativity, communication, inspiration. And i guess it makes enough sense to not question it. but i question everything, and i think we can do better than that >And thats where i come innnnn >>> 1 sun : MERCURY - Mercury is the first planet of our solar system, the sun aint a planet it just bright - all life path 1's dont act sunny at all, they act smart and calculated and they are 'independent' but the concept of the sun is not independent - the sun loves to share - mercury is independent, because to have an opinion requires an independent thought from others perspectives. - 'goal orientated' - so we all just don't care about our goals? bull shit fuck that, sounds like a mercury thing to only care about ur own opinion anyway - the sun likes to share and be the 'star' 1 energy don't it focused (like mercury) 2 moon : VENUS - the moon is not about the other (2 people) moon is technically a selfish energy, its about how you feel (yes people make you feel s type of way, but if you lonely, you gonna feel like shit anyway) venus is more appropriate planet for 2, becasuse 2 people requires diplomacy snd sharing, not the moon, the moon acts as a reflection, but it is not diplomatic, its selfish (but adorable) it takes 2 people to love and thats what venus all about, thasts why 2 should be venus (not 6 i'll get into dat) but this one should be pretty straightforward 3 Jupiter : EARTH - Jupiter is abundance and it could be 3 but theres a better answer for jupiter (coming up) 3 is earth because 3 is the holy trinity, god clearly loves earth the most, so its 3 okay, and everyone likes 3 (apparently) 3 is creative - there is no planet more colourful than earth - 3 is communicstion (everything on earth makes a lot of noise) and its inspiring - everywhere you look theres something inspirational on earth - you cant say that about any other planet - the rest of them just got a surface i guess 4 Uranus : Mars - whoever made up 4 as uranus imma slap the shit outta. 4 is a stable number (4 corners to mske s house) 4 is stability -4 is the emperor in tarot - uranus is nothing like that uranus is a crazy as fuck boiiiiiii. mars is far more appropriate, mars wants something it gets it (like emperor, in tarot) also a square is a 4, and thst mskes sense for mars because he all about conflict and competition. also they practical and sensible, and if your as bold as mars, your dsmn right you better be pracitcal or your gonna look like a fool and mars dont want thst.

5 Mercury : Jupiter - i understand 5 is about adventure and exploring, but its so much more fitting for it to be jupiter than fkn mercury. you see how dumb this shit is now??? look at the bigger picturre yall; numerologists didnt study the planets and it shows. 'change and progress' thats jupiters schtick, well hell its a little uranusy but mercury is a stretch. also everyone likes jupiter snd thsts why he 5 - he in the middle because everyone like him 6 Venus : Saturn - now ik your thinking saturn is karma and karma is infinite so it should be 8. well no your wrong, karma is not infinite. its however much you do you get back > think about how you draw the number 6 - you write a line (you do something) and it comes right back at ya (the cirlce bit). its also the lovers because saturn got a ring and everyone wanna find their special person to put a ring on > also saturn loves you, but he loves smacking you too. just like someone who loves you 7 Neptune : Uranus - ok this one does make some sense... because its about solitude and introspection... but anyway it took god 7 days to make the world - and the creation of the world changed the game you could say (like uranus is about change) - it also makes sense for uranus, because to change the world, you gotta observe it not be apart of it (to understand how it works) but you know what neptune does make sense here, so i get where they coming from

8 saturn : Neptune - wanna know what actually infinite? your spirit, spirituality, GOD IS INFINiTE - not yo karma - jesus fkn christ lawd save us and please forgive me for saying yo name in vain as many times as i do but WAT DA FUCK HAPPENED - Ik its associated with being a boss or a leader but to me its about achieving yo dreams, the real boss is someone like 6 or 4 (saturn - mars) and ik you thkink 6 is about love - but yall got no clue how much strength and fortitude it takes to love and it shows, thsts why saturn slaps you in the face as often as he be do > A leader must be in tune with god or they gonna get cancelled and not be givin leadership (dont forget who in charge you little shit)

9 Mars : Pluto - "embarking on a lifelong quest to quench an insatiable thirst for growth and new experiences" um okay - so how tf is that mars? mars is thirsty, but he dont care about growth he just wants some pussy. BUt pluto... now that makes more sense. Pluto wants the truth no mstter the price, and our life path 9's are on a infinite journey of digging and digging and thats what pluto do. pluto will literally put himself in jail just to see whst it feels like, mars will just fight everything, to attain his goals. pluto willl let you punch him to see how hard you punch. Stay dumb - yes i made this up - just as the old numerologists made it up - you dont have to believe me, thats why i dont believe in you.

I also believe if god is real, why wouldn't it be simple? why not correlate each number (and there only 9 numbers - excluding 0) why would it not be in the order god intended it to be?

#numerology #astro community #astrology blog #astro theory

[olderthannetfic]

Re: Hypertagging characters/ships for triggers, yeah as someone whos insane ass has a very serious trigger for a specific fictional character -particularly if they are portrayed in a positive light- I just Do Not Read Fic in that fandom by and large and blacklist it pretty hard.

It sucks I had to divorce myself from the fandom because I LIKED the earlier seasons and sometimes the fic was cute and good, but I simply cannot reasonably ask anyone to tag every mention of that character so I blacklist it all.

Its a me issue, NOT a them issue, so its my job to manage it and actually put effort into that.

That means blacklisting the show on every platform that is possible that I use, not following people who are likely to post that character, not consuming the new canon content of the show in case I get jumpscared with the character, and only ever intentionally looking for content if im in the right frame of mind to be able to stand simply seeing the name somewhere while I control+f a fic to see if they show up. I even sometimes ask friends to prescreen fics sometimes if I REALLY want to read something.

I make my own content if I want to engage with that media and I avoid the fandom. Its... I wont say its easy because it really sucks actually, but the world cannot and should not cater to me in that way. Its a competing access need and unreasonable to ask.

Its reasonable to ask a friend to warn/not deliberately show me that character- not NOT reasonable to ask a rando to do that.

Id even try to desensitize the trigger if I was in a good place for doing it but I am the wrong kind of insane to be doing that any time soon lol. Trauma work lays you right out.

To people wondering how anyone could be so fragile as to need something like that tagged; PTSD and other mental illnesses that cause serious triggers often latch onto innocuous things. Do you think I want to have such a 'cringe' trigger that causes me to [redacted] at best and have a dissociative panic attack-flashback combo AND [redacted] at worse? No its dumb as hell and I hate that there is very little to do to suppress it. Does that make the trigger go away? Also no. Its not like this is just me not liking or being uncomfortable with the character, this is an involuntary serious-hazard-to-health negative reaction I shant detail that sucks ass.

Yes us crazies do deserve to participate in fandom spaces too, we arent too broken to be barred from playing with everyone else- we just have to understand where the reasonable line is on accommodations for tagging, understand that competing access needs are a thing, and do the rest of the work ourselves.

Its not perfect but its the most good for the most people.

Id invite anyone who has a character/ship/etc trigger to seriously just blacklist the media and do what I do or even be more strict about it. You will feel so much better and more stable im not kidding. It sucks to lose a beloved fandom but you will feel so much better.

For everyone else- dont feel you need to tag every last mention on something. If you really want to be trigger friendly for some reason, you can put in the chapter notes all the minor mentions of stuff or w/e. Please Do Not put it in the proper tags.

--

Sadly, "dumb as hell" is a pretty default setting for triggers. If only brains were logical and behaved themselves! But one has to work with what one's got.

[kiss2012]

tsc thoughts under the cut cause i finished

i literally cannot wrap my thoughts around my overall opinion of it i feel like i absolutely need to reread it first

but also i need to reread tfc because I MISS TFC SO BAD ➡️ girl who reread it last may. i do think i spoke tsc into existence by doing this because i hadn’t looked at the trilogy since 2019 and then all of a sudden i decided to reread and found that unfortunately they still make me batshit crazy. what is in those books.

however i do like tfc better 🤷🏽‍♀️ so if i did reread tfc after this and read tsc again i would just want to read tfc again

this is not fair to say at all because tfc is a whole trilogy and this was only book 1. and i rlly need to start saying aftg instead of tfc cause it’s getting confusing because like i do think tsc is better than tfc (the first book). however i just…like aftg better? i feel like it’s more fun which is probably a weird thing to say considering it’s a lot More than tsc is. and obviously this book was more about jean’s recovery. but more happens in aftg. idk we’ll see tho

i do love jean and the trojans but i miss neil and the foxes every page. i feel like it’s harder to connect to the trojans because there r so many of them. and idk sports so the three coaches is probably normal for a team of this size i really wouldn’t know lol but i couldn’t keep the coaches straight in my head either

point is the foxes r my everything 4ever. i love jean jeremy cat and laila and i see what she was trying to do by introducing the floozy line (cute name) however i dont really have a strong feeling about them because we met them for like 5 minutes

i do love nabil tho why is he not part of the floozy line :(((((

i think cat and laila were absolutely perfect. they’re given a lot of depth especially cat and they’re so important to me. they’re better here than in fanon i think but i feel like fanon did get their personalities and relationship down mostly right. apart from cat not just being called alvarez LMAO bless neil only calling her that and fanon having no choice but to do the same because no one agreed on one single name. i remember sara was one that i saw a lot but i like catalina way way better i love cat <3 i love laila <3 their friendship with jeremy <3

an evening breeze rainbows open roads friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭

bi jean is so dear to me

also jean rooming with cat and laila (and then jean) literally perfect omg. no one ever put that in fics but i think it was the best thing to do. sorry for having to compare tsc to fanon im not trying to say one is better than the other at all but what you have to understand is how many fics about jean post tkm are out there and how many of them i read so my mind is going to go there. i wasn’t rlly obsessed with jerejean but i was (and am) a jerejean girl. and i had (have lmao) very high standards for fic so i stand by a lot of those fics WHILE still standing by everything tsc is

by which i mean i cannot get poc jean out of my head thanks to that one fic where he is moroccan. in that same fic jeremy was also spanish and i sort of adopted that into my image of them so i am trying to let go of it but i mean even the hatfords being pakistani still lives in my head despite how unlikely it is. and most of the time i pictured jeremy with golden hair (sometimes curls) so even though i think nora’s compromise being to have naturally brown-haired jeremy bleaching his hair is hilarious and iconic. sort of impossible for me not to picture him with golden hair.

however when jean was all startled and went “blond” when he saw jeremy’s hair. reader i died

english major jeremy is still a gift to me personally

kevin bargaining and arguing for his history major..my baby…the mentions of kevin and kevin’s actual appearances in tsc are everything. the postcards and magnets…kill me

every time neil showed up i lost my mind i love him SO MUCH!!!

see my problem is i wish the foxes showed up more even though it makes no sense for them to. i want kevin jeremy and jean in a room together. i will kill for jean and allison interaction especially if they talk about renee (yes i am holding onto renison still). i want jeremy and cat and matt and dan to hang out. i need laila to meet andrew. i need more renee I LOVE RENEE we did get a good amount of her though i think. she was everything.

genuinely think the way jean and renee was handled here was so perfect. i totally see the merit of it if they end the series together. i also see why jean might end the series without being with anyone romantically. but narratively i cant help but feel jerejean is what makes the most sense. the reason i liked them in the first place is their narrative appeal. and they were genuinely so good in this. so. idk. can’t think about that too much.

i have some problems with the writing like i did with the og series but um the thing is i cannot view these books objectively because they impacted me so much at a young age. i will say i wish tsc could have had a professional editor lol.

i also have some issues with the pacing tho because i did not expect it to end there at all? im so glad she started it where she did but when it ended i was like WAIT WHAT

i have a feeling the reason riko did what he did with the backliners is because he saw jean looking at kevin. could be wrong here but judging from how often jean talks about learning his lesson about looking at guys too long. well.

the main thing for me is that i don’t see how we’re going to get to championships in 2 books if this book only covered till the summer. you could argue exy games arent that important for jean’s story but i do think they are insanely important for jeremy’s story. and if he’s a pov character i want more about him!! that man is keeping his issues locked up (I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY R) but we can tell he loves exy and he needs to win his last year

my memory of the extra content is so dim and some of it i have voluntarily chosen to forget or just not consider plus i think some of it will/has changed. but i think i remember reading that trojans win for their last year and i Need that to happen. cause in my head it went: foxes win neil’s first year and trojans win neil’s second year and jeremy’s last year. idc for the rest i want neil to have won championships twice or at least once as captain so that’s what happens in my head.

like i need more about jeremy teaching jean to love exy again and more about jeremy’s apparently complicated family issues with exy???? jeremy let me in.

anywayy. this book feels like a fever dream and im going insane

#tsc lb #tsc spoilers #THIS IS SO LONG #sorry i keep adding more things when i think of them

[fucksurass]

FINALLY

DEAD? Park!

Part 2

Kenny: (Am I really just going crazy?)

Kenny: (Is Pip really meant to be dead?)

Kenny: (What am I-)

Mr. Garrison: Okay class I have an announcement to make!

Kenny: (Hm?)

Mr. Garrison: Its a new student! Two new students in one day how lovely! Pip isnt really new but who gives a shit I dont get paid enough for any of this!!

Mr. Garrison: Say hello to,

Mr. Garrison: Herbert Pocket! Or just call him Pocket or whatever.

Mr. Garrison: Treat him with respect and such. Dont bully him too bad or we'll have another Pip. And another thing-

Pip: HERBERT WHAT THE BLOODY HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG TO GET HERE?!

Pocket: OH PHILLIP I DIDNT EVEN SEE YOU!!

Damien: Ughhhhhhhh do NOT start with this...

Pocket: Come here Phillip!! Here here here!!

Pip: Herberrtttttttt

Pocket: Philliiipppppp

Mr. Garrison: What the hell is going on here?

Damien: Its some stupid shit. Back in England or whatever they got real close. *Muttered death threats directed to Pocket* They started calling each other-

Pip and Pocket: BESTEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST MATES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

Craig: Thats the dumbest shit ive ever heard.

Cartman: And the gayest like wtf.

Damien: They get it.

Pip: Now be quiet Damien or I will not marry you.

Damien: You wouldnt do that. You know whats on the line.

Pocket: You shut your goddamn arse, demonspawn! Anywho! Me and Phillip do everything together! If it was up to me we would have disregarded Damien!

Damien: Fuck. You.

Pip: Now now boys you stop!

Butters: Uh.. You okay over there Kenny? I know these fellers are a little wierd but-

Kenny: Hepatitis b...

People in hearing range: What.

Kenny: POCKET DIED OF HEPATITIS B

Everyone: .....

Pocket: ...

Pip: ...How very dare you!!!! Yes he got it but that doesnt mean he died!!

Pocket: Hes called me a slag Phillip... Im a slag...!

Pip: You are no slag mate! He is!!

Pip: How could you say something so disrespectful to my Herbert you minging tosser!!? Look at his face. How could you go on and call this sweet innocent face a SLAG just because he caught hepatitis b ONCE?!!?!

Clyde: Whats a slag?

Damien: Whore.

Clyde: Thats mean!

Craig: No. He wasnt calling you a whore. Slag means whore you whore.

Clyde: Thats mean!!

Cartman: Kihnny how could stoop so low as to call the new kid a whore?

Kyle: Cartman youre a fatass hypocrite. Kenny why did you say that?

Pip: He said I died as well. I dont quite understand him. The cheese eating surrender monkey.

Red: Kennys wishing death on the new kids?

Craig: I couldnt care less. Still though it gives me an excuse to flip him off.

Butters: Now now im sure Kenny had a good reason! Kenny give everyone your reason!

Cartman: Its cuz he dies all the time and now hes jealous.

Damien: Oh yeah.

Stan: Shut up Cartman. And Damien I guess.

Clyde: He doesnt have a reason! Hes just a... A freak!

Craig: Yeah a freak!

Cartman: Now now you guys. Kennys not a freak hes a weird ass whore.

Damien: That also works.

Red: Why would you just say someone died?

Clyde: Imagine someone walking up to your face and saying you died.

Pip: We dont have to! He actually did!

Pocket: Hes crazy and absolutely rude!

Butters: Kenny im kinda agreein with those fellers. Yer kinda bein a bitch right about now. Kenny....? Ken...? You.. You okay...?

Kenny: ......

Guess who managed to do it before the year eneded? THIS GUY

Pt. 1

Pt. 3

#DEAD? Park! #south park #artists on tumblr #digital art #art #south park au #au #southpark #kenny sp #kenny south park #kenny mccormick #sp damien #sp pip #pip x damien #herbert pocket #sp clyde #craig south park #red south park #sp cartman #south park stan #sp kyle #butters south park

[nicosraf]

hi! im not sure if you answered this question before and i was js thinking about it but what made you write ABM? were there moments in the bible with them in it that led to write it?

I think I've answered this once or twice, and each time, it's kind of difficult to answer. it's a mix of personal reasons. and theology questions mostly. here is a super long explanation, re-stating what i've said before but adding some new things.

sorry this is very long but i am stuck in a car. also cw for f slur use:

personal reasons - ive mentioned this sparingly but i had a conversion therapy experience when i was much younger and was raised in a very christian community (where i still somewhat remain). i struggle horribly with mental issues related to that and other traumatic experiences related to where i was raised and by who. i needed to write about it a little.

theology reasons - after i went crazy in 2021, i read the bible and i got really stuck on this question about what "made" the devil so evil. Paradise Lost pins the blame on god creating humans and asking angels to bow for them with Lucifer refusing (and many christians seem to believe this) but that's borrowed from Islam. (The Dante levels to hell, and most of the concept of hell, too, are borrowed (stolen?) from Islam). I looked for what the Bible really said and I saw that it just... didn't say anything. A lot of the lines about Lucifer are only dubiously about Lucifer, such as the lines in Ezekiel 28 that make up the epigraph for ABM. Most theologians will just say, oh well Lucifer is more of a mythological figure, and i agree. but Revelation makes it clear there was a rebel angel, the devil was an angel, so if we want to treat the bible like it's coherent, we have to take those dubious lines to be about lucifer/satan/the-devil.

but those lines only say, you became proud on account of your beauty. and they also say You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created ; innocent. beautiful and innocent.

Lucifer is beautiful, or handsome, in all his depictions — at least in his depictions as an angel. but it's rarely the focus. and it was the "blameless" part that got me. innocent. in a lot of depictions, lucifer is born wrong, or lucifer's goodness is so delicate that he might never have been good at all. but if the bible says lucifer was a beautiful and innocent angel - what happened? the bible says he became proud on account of his beauty; he was so beautiful that it ruined his innocence, so beautiful it "spoiled" his "wisdom"

but what is the power of beauty in heaven?? angels are not supposed to marry. what do you do with beauty. just admire? and why would god make an angel so much prettier and perfect than the rest. his favorite. the "anointed one" , anointed one for what?

there's only one line Michael says in the bible; he says "the lord rebuke you" to the devil. i started thinking about them; i had seen so many Michael defeating Satan statues all my life. michael never looks happy in them. usually, his face is solemn. i started asking the people around me about michael and lucifer. people told me that they were friends once, they really loved each other once. this isn't in the bible; i dont know why everyone just had this feeling of them

i read through ezekiel again, closer. i reached that part about Jerusalem and saw all the language of beauty and corruption again:

Your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord. But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty (Ezekiel 16)

my confusion about the Ezekiel 28 Lucifer lines was that i just couldn't understand how beauty led to corruption, and here in Ezekiel 16, the answer was sex and unfaithfulness and a jealous, violent god.

i was also having a lot of thoughts about angel gender and sexuality, just because of course i was and because of reading Paradise Lost. christians like to treat angels like these non-sexual things, but the story of Sodom is about wanting to have gay sex with angels, Genesis still holds the remnants of the Book of Enoch and its story about angels having sex on earth, Jesus denies angels marriage (and thereby sex) in the New Testament, and angel Gabriel is the one who tells Mary that she's going to carry god's child through immaculate non-sex conception. there was just... all this weird forbidden sexuality attached to them. they can't have sex with the men in sodom, they can't have sex with the women in enoch, they can't have sex with each other. John Milton says they do, but i think he just wanted to be kind to them.

In paradise lost, raphael says, of course we have sex with each other. of course we love. because "without Love, no happiness"

but moving onto the series as a whole, i just thought how weird all biblical events must feel for angels. everything bad is happening because one of your own was so beautiful that he went crazy, and now you all bow for these weird, human men. and the bible mentions that angels cheered when the earth was made, so surely there was a time of angels before man (if u will) that they must all remember so sadly now

but these are all huge thoughts i had in my head and idk why i wrote them down. i kept hunting for someone who had written an essay about this, or a book, or made a movie. i thought it was weird there were no 1970s homoerotic movies about Lucifer (that i found). he's alway been associated with sexual deviance, gender deviance. (he's always been a fag), so where were the gay books about him? i wondered how lucifer invented sexual deviance at all, what was going through his mind, what he was trying to do.

and Michael - ahhkj he's such an archetype for gay male desire isn't he? just this image of strength and power and masculinity. of course Lucifer falls in love with him, what fag woudn't. and how could michael resist god's most beautiful creation?

before, during, and after ABM, my feelings were/have-been "i wish someone else wrote this." i didn't feel qualified to write it, but i thought that just expressing the idea was what mattered. i needed to get on a podium and shout "lucifer and michael were in love and all angels are genderqueer homos" and see what happened.

#i can really go ON and On because the story of its conception and development is a surprisingly long one i think #didnt get too much into the real life aspect of things #also ive never mentioned this but i was working on another book at the time that i dropped and have yet to pick up again cause of abm sksk #mine #ask

[godfistgonnalive]

please ramble as hard as you can about pruita I need to hear what you have to say about them

grabs you by the shoulders very roughly.

ok. my favorite flavor of pruita is utterly unrequited. cuz its very funny to me. my fav thing to do is listen to music and think about unrequited pruita like L imagine 😹😹but also its kind of sad and i like how its sad but also funny

like think about the prussia cleaning game like omg.... he loves him.... its so silly.......

PRUSSIA STROKED IN HAPPINESS! WHAT THE FUCK! GAY!

and he literally was imaginging them like together on some sort of boat idk what its called like ugh

and the fucking BLOG. ive already posted these before but. my god.

he likes him so much....... its unbelievable........

like are you serious. he so very obviously has a crush on him THERES SO MUCH PROOF OF IT AND [im trying to restrain myself here from being salty about prucan shippers so i will stop myself here.]

ok im racking my brain to try and think of what to say rn cuz as much as i say i wanna talk about my ships i know deep down in my heart i dont have much to say that i can turn into coherent thoughts.

back to my thoughts and not canon content. unrequited pruita. like ok you know that hetalia itself is just gerita fanfiction. like i love gerita. who doesnt. and thats where it comes in in my version of pruita. like prussia is so in love with italy and italys like omggg germanyyyy :3 like. oh my gfod can i talk about the songs i associate with them. the answer is yes i cant be stopped.

ok puppy princess by hot freaks. fucking UGH. unrequited big fat crush ANTHEM right here.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. prussia is the goofy friend... prussia loves italy...... and italy loves germany........ my goodness.........

NO OTHER HEART BY MAC DEMARCO. THIS IS LITERALLY PRUITA.

i love gerita truth pruita so much but not in the love triangle way like i mean thats what it sounds like but its more like a fucked up triangle like

it doesnt connect all the way... cuz in love triangles dont they usually like compete!>>! like prussia loves italy but in my pruita brain he wouldnt like.. actually really try to get with italy while he knew that germany was trying to get with him.... you know.... he wouldnt do that to his brother..... so he just keeps his crush to himself.... rip.... and thats the fun of it ! ! ! he yearns but he'll never have him... love that

LOVERS ROCK. BY TV GIRL. THIS ONE LYRIC. JESUS CHRIST.

TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE. UGH.

AND LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BY JOY AGAIN. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

IM GONNA GO CRAZY!

and peach scone. by hobo johnson.

ltierally every time... prussia calls italy cute.... god......

now. onto requited pruita.

i think theyre silly cute so much so much :3 :3 :3 hold on gotta check pixiv so i can formulate thoughts. ok like i mostly think about prussia's side of things when it comes to required pruita but in my opinion prussia is CRAZY about that man. jesus christ. and italy thinks hes super silly and loves him 🫶🫶🫶 HOLD ON I SHOULD FILL OUT ONE OF THOSE UNDERSTAND NMY SHIP THINGS HOLD ONNNNNN

got a little lazy but you understand.

i think thats all i have to say . i feel like i didnt really say much just put images and then said something along the lines of "jesus christ" or "what the fuck" but i think you undestand. thank you for asking. PEACE AND LOVE!

ALSO WAIT I HAVE MORE. i LOVE gerita marriage. they are so married. and i love thinking about prussia watching the boy hes had a big fat crush on for god knows how long get married to his brother. LMAO! and hes like crying like hes happy for his brother,... but oh man........ LMAOOOOO

i love prussia so much. make him suffer now

ok thanks for reading :heart:

edit:i just realized onm the height thing onm the ship chart i forgot to put 6 CM and instead put 6 M. oops

#pruita #hetalia #owls nonsense #IM INSANEEE IM INSANEEEEEE

[lilunaire]

I'm dying for any ghostflower TWBOS content you have

Can u give us any teaser 🥺 pretty please?

(If it's not too inconvenient off)

TEASER 8 - CH.9 TIL WE BURN OUR SKINS

Hi anon, sorry for answering so late !!

Dont worry, I got your back now 😎 And since I'm so late against, here's two teaser for chapter 9 !

(side note : im so happy to have an ask you can't imagine-)

(teasers below the line)

Teaser 1

Four depressed teenage girls in their pajamas on a bed and a huge tub of ice cream.

They're watching a movie on Webflix, a movie that Margo chose ("It's not so bad," she told them.) And that was perfect, because at the moment, it was an average movie that they needed to watch. With this, they could continue talking while paying a little attention to what was going on.

It's hot in Mumbattan. The three guests each brought a fan, but it wasn't enough. Gwen didn't know she would need a seventy-centimeter-high pot of ice cream in her life until Margo told her it existed on her Earth.

Drowning your sorrows in ice cream, that's the ideal solution!

And by sticking your hands on it, you could be sure of being cooled off.

Gwen also had to admit that she'd seen… better than that. It was a film aimed at young adults (and to be completely honest, female young adults), very cliché and sometimes lame. Fortunately, the two main actors came to save the shaky scenario.

“Margo, I thought you said it was a good movie… Peni whined.

— Actually, I said “not so bad”.

— That’s not the word I would have used to describe it…”

“So, about your parents? Gayatri asked. How's it going?

— Still through divorce, but there's progress! If lawyers are right, just another month and it will finally be behind!"

With the divorce, Margo was already planning a lot of things: for starters, she will finally be able to invite her friends to her dimension without having to hide all the details of their visit. But also organize parties: Margo had parties in her soul.

Her mother was often away for work, and she intended to take advantage of it.

“Cool, I’ll come to squat more then, replied Gwen.

— Only if you bring cakes, it’s not open bar here.

— Deal."

Teaser 2 / CW : Implied nudity

Satisfied with her work, she comes to join him in the bathtub. He, in the meantime, had managed (with great difficulty) to sit down in the water. She comes to settle in too, pressing her back against the wall, which is still a little cold despite the scalding water.

When she opens her arms, Miles understands the message and comes to stick to her, letting her surround his body with her arms. He doesn't need to be asked to put his head back where it was earlier, that is to say against her neck, and once again inhales the comforting smell of peaches.

She lets her hands absently caress his chest and back, rubbing the bath suds onto his skin. He hums in pleasure and contentment, pressing himself deeper into her.

He knows he shouldn't. He had spent the last few hours trying to convince himself that he absolutely had to end this twisted relationship with her before it was too late.

But the feeling of her body against his acted like morphine, and he was addicted to it. He wants this moment to never end. He hears Gwen in the distance asking him if he wants her to wash his hair: that was probably a bad idea given the time. He would probably fall asleep with wet hair, and his mother would go crazy if she saw him do that, especially at this time of year.

But the “yes,” leaves his mouth before he can even form that coherent thought. She makes him to stand up so she can access his shampoos, and grabs the shower head, making sure to lower the water temperature to rinse his hair.

He closes his eyes, and he feels like he's falling asleep almost immediately. But he stays awake just so he doesn't miss what happens next.

IMPORTANT NOTE : hey people who actually speak english unlike me, would you mind helping me ? In Teaser number 1, i said "Four depressed teenage girls". So idk if it's okay in english, but since it doesn't work in french it makes me confused. I don't mean to say that they have depression, just that they're all in a bad mood (but i can't really write that you know ?). But everytime I try to translate it on internet, they all give me "depress". So if anyone can help me on this 🙏

#ghostflower #til we burn our skins #teaser

[necroromantics]

Also gonna make things clear cuz I've just been listening to my gf and not engaging but seriously man this is insane.

I'm not a Nazi, in the full screenshots which they cropped out, I said I had another server with absolutely no rules (besides dont be a pedo), and I was saying that in that server, everything was allowed. You people need to understand that not being able to care about something does NOT mean you support it. Its not black or white

I have NEVER said anything or made jokes regarding rape/sa, that is actually one of the things (including pedophilia) that I am very morally against. I have not spent so much of my time helping my friends report their rapists, helping vulnerable people get out of extortion online, and being there for the people in my life who have experienced that just for some randos online to lie to people about me.

The most I have made is your mom jokes and necro jokes, which I personally don't consider morally wrong, and if they are, then I'll work on it, but I don't have the same understanding of things like that. I never learned where the line is like most people have, and thats why Im dedicated to learning it in adulthood

And do not make drug use a moral issue. My "morality" about drug use is completely nonexistent because I grew up in that. I have spent many years heavily involved with drugs, I know exactly what its like, and nothing about drugs is a moral issue.

And here again the same issue of straight up fucking ableism bro. Don't try to shame me for not having conventional morals when you know damn well I, and many other people, struggle with conditions that impact that (ASPD). Hearing about the ableism towards people like me from these guys isn't surprising in the slightest

I'm not gonna say I didn't say those things, cuz like I said, I said those things, I made those jokes, and I've said worse. The difference now is that those things were said more than a year ago. It's insane how you act high and mighty and then judge me on things I said that long ago to friends who made the same jokes and encouraged that kind of behaviour (none of which I talk to anymore, for the exact reason that they encouraged my bad behaviour).

I said what I said, I know it was wrong, I take full accountability. I have spent my time since doing my best to be more than that. I have spent a lot of my time trying to adjust to moral and social norms, even when it gets really difficult and I have to deal with people like this who wont give me space to grow and change for the better.

I have amazing friends and mutuals and people in my life who support me because they know how hard I try. My girlfriend even is a fucking hardass and would NOT have put up with any of my shit if she didn't see how hard I try. I've spent a lot of time with people who are like how I was, people who have done and said much worse things than me, and I understand how uncomfortable and jarring it is. Thats exactly why I'm so passionate about being more than that. And thats why this situation bothers me so much.

You all talk about me and how I mention my disorder as if you're not just shitting on stuff that is directly tied into having ASPD. And to hear that you have a history of that stuff? Im not crazy to say theres a lot of ableism going on here. I will always be open and honest about the person I have been, but I want it to be used as a reference point for how much I've grown and changed since then.

I will always be an advocate for people like me. I will always give support and speak out for those who struggle with being treated like a bad person because of the things they say, not because of who they are. (And if you know anything about people, you know theres a huge difference)

You guys have been on me for MONTHS way after I blocked and went on with my life. In those months you've spent doing nothing but nitpicking everything single thing Ive ever done and constantly spreading negativity, I have been working on myself, and I hope that somewhere along the line, you guys have or will too

But anyways, I needed to get this out. I hope that this blows over and I can continue working on living a life full of joy and love and keeping the good people in my life. And despite everything, I hope that for all of you guys as well, I hope that you can find peace and some happiness where it counts

#tombtalk #thats all i think #cant please people who cant be pleased