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emmadarci · 4 years

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Killing Eve ― 3x04 (Review)

Last episode was... something else for me. Episode 3 will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart because of Villaneve’s kiss and all that, but this episode. It has to be my favorite this season and if they keep up like that... not only will we have a PERFECT season, but it will be impossible for me to pick a favorite episode. I’ve watched it probably close to 10 times already and I’m not going to wait any longer. We have bunch of stuff to discuss! So let’s start!! (This will be a LONG review, so I apologize in advance lol!)

The Titles

It’s so interesting that they chose this season to experiment with episodes. Back in episode 2 we had the very first additional credits sequence which I, personally, liked a lot. However, maybe they didn’t like it as much? Since they didn’t use it anymore. I wonder why they haven’t placed the credits sequence in the premiere instead? It would still be unpredictable gesture, so I’m still wondering about it.

ANYWAYS! By titles, I meant the NAME titles this episode. The past two seasons we were used to having titles that indicate the names of PLACES e.g. RUSSIA, LONDON, TUSCANY ect. They are still doing that, in different way, the letters are smaller now and they use this interesting “blinds” effect that the letters appear and move like blinds would if we opened/closed them? Really nice touch, I must say. It’s something different, something we haven’t really seen before in the show.

Now the names. I’ve read a couple of people saying something like “why the name titles? we obviously know who the person is? so what’s the point of that?!” I found that quite funny lol! I mean, YES, we know exactly who they are but that’s not the reason why they’re using those name titles. Name titles, in this case, are to show us WHO the show is focusing on for the time being. That also means that the normal sequence of events will be disrupted since there won’t be any scenes switching between different characters. For some reason I felt like something like this happened before but then I remembered that something like this was used in another show called Dare Me! That’s why it felt so familliar and Killing Eve is exploring that type of narrative and honestly, I dig it. Yeah, it might get confusing for some people, having to bounce back and forth between the timeline and the events, but it’s perfect for those of us who has a sharp eye for details. It’s for the viewers who analyse and put pieces together. It’s exactly what Eve is doing at the end of the day with all the kills, isn’t it? So thinking about it, makes it all even more fascinating. Damn. I’m REALLY falling for the show... aren’t I?

The titles makes it SOO much easier for me to write these reviews as they basically tell which character they are focusing on right now and that’s what I did in my reviews lmao! I’ll just follow the characters in the episode so I’m sure you guys will be able to catch up with me with no problems!

Niko

So... THE MUSTACHE IS GONE.

I didn’t see it coming. The way they released all those trailers/sneak peeks featuring Niko made it seem like he was finally getting his fresh start and like, I had a feeling we might even get an episode fully focused on him and maybe Eve or something? So, that’s how well they mix things up. My mind, yet again, has been BLOWN.

Before we talk about the elephant in the room, I just want to say that Niko was a good person. I might not have been a huge fan of him, but I felt IT. Speaking of fans, I think it’s normal to NOT like him because he is playing the boring husband type and obviously he stands between Villaneve. But other than that, he IS a good, ordinary person. It’s a fact and Eve knows it. Niko keeps Eve grounded, safe, STABLE. He is all those things she found boring before in season 1 and didn’t appreciate enough I feel, because she was too used to them as all of us are.

He gets to play the part of a normal, ordinary man who got scared when he found out that his wife is chasing an assassin, who soon enough possibly murdered Eve’s colleague and a dear friend. Yet, it didn’t seem to slow Eve down nor did she notice any of the red flags in front of her face that straight up screamed DANGER. I think most of us would’ve reacted to things like that the way Niko did. Yes, we would’ve been a boring man/woman who the viewers hate, because they crave for danger and psychotic obssession filled with hatred and lust and a LOT of craziness. It’s what we crave now, watching the show and WAITING for Villaneve to happen.

This morning I’ve been watching a few of reactions of the episode and I got to explore different perspectives of people reacting to the same thing. I love that. I want to know what other people see in things, you know? And so... one of the people made a point about KE writers killing off whoever they want, probably to surprise the viewers as they probably don’t know how else to drive the story. Meaning that Kenny or Niko didn’t have to die. But that’s the whole point... one thing is to claim that they are doing whatever they want with the show, but another is to actually COME UP with ideas for a decent, I mean.. not even decent, AN AMAZING plot that people would be shocked and amazed by at the same time. You can only go this far without having to touch any of the main characters, you know? There comes a time when you have to make big, serious choices in terms of the story and this season Suzanne is GOING FOR IT. Like I mentioned in my previous post here, the first two seasons were amazing, but it only NOW feels like things are getting real. Suzanne took over and she’s getting shit done. She’s taking this responsibility and making huge important choices that will shift the main plot AND Villaneve in certain direction and so far it’s going sooo smoothly and brilliantly.

I mean, yes, Niko deserves to start over and have a nice life but the moment Villanelle found out about Eve... Niko’s fate was decided for him whether he liked it or not. And having him simply disappear from Eve’s life AND from the show as if nothing... I’d see it as waste of character’s potential. So instead of not having Niko around but have HIM affect the story in such a profound way, I think killing him off was a great idea. This way... his character gains so much more meaning and it helps to drive the main story forward, but most importantly it will change and affect Eve in ways we have never seen before. So, I think I’ve read somewhere that Owen McDonnell (Niko) wanted his character to go out with a bang, and he truly did. Yes, it was a very brutal, shocking death but it was definitely a very strong one.

Now, the soundtracks STRIKE yet again. I’m talking about Niko’s soundtrack, Dear Diary by The Moody Blues is soo well fitting for his character while showing him trying to start over with his life. It carries this... sort of bittersweet feeling, but at the same time it’s so... freeing? And the lyrics speak his story without Niko having to say anything at all.

“ Woke up too late. Wasn't where I should have been For goodness sake, what's happening to me?”

Yeah, he WOKE UP a bit too late and realized that the life he had wasn’t really for him anymore.

“So many people by the score Rushing around as senselessly They don't notice there's people like me”

And we basically see him drive through the town and watch people going with their lives and not really notice him for who he is now, for what he had to go through. Probably none of them had to go through so much trauma and had their lives in danger the way Niko has.

“If they weren't so blind, then surely they'd see There's a much better way for them to be”

Perfect description for Niko the previous two seasons. Now that he’s “woken up” I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought that way. Again, this show picks the soundtracks for a reason and I’m not sure if in first two seasons the songs described and spoke instead of characters, but this season they are really going for it.

Eve

Oh boy, where do we start?

So... from now on Eve spends her nights at Bitter Pill office. I mean, after being shot by a crazy assassin girlfriend, who, found out where Eve’s living now, it’s more than understandable for her to NOT want to stay in her apartment any longer. But staying in the office is not the best idea either. I mean, she still can go back to her apartment to clean up and all that? Guess not this day. Which happens to be her BIRTHDAY. I was convinced that Villanelle sent her the cake of a bus was only to remind her off their mindblowing kiss, because let’s remember back in 1x04 Villanelle had just murdered Bill and threw a birthday party to Konstantin. And it wasn’t his birthday. Yes, she tried to get on his good side, but I really thought this would be yet another example of Villanelle’s behavior. Turns out.. it IS Eve’s birthday... and my mind is blown yet again. I NEED to know what day is her birthday. Like, seriously?! And.. Niko hasn’t messaged her despite it being her birthday. Like.. you two have huge issues still, but hello? It’s your wife’s birthday... or maybe he forgot? But here is Villanelle not forgetting about Eve’s special day... and the fact that it’s a goddamn bus... WE GET IT, VILLANELLE, YOU’RE A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

Before the cake arrives, we have a scene of Eve cleaning up in the bathroom, checking out her bruise and then the moment with Bear. Everything made total sense. Eve brushing her teeth, smelling herself, probably aware that she’s in desperate need for a shower, then again smelling her hair until Bear points it out for her. Yes, SMELL is the reoccuring theme in Killing Eve. So that was alright. Everything was going smoothly UNTIL Bear spotted the UNDERWEAR. Now, I did some digging to find a confirmation that it indeed was underwear and not some random piece of clothing or whatever... and in one of the recaps online they did say it was underwear. My question is... WHY? Why did they include THAT specific bit? The fact that Eve needs a shower was established more than ONCE, out loud and through a solo scene in the bathroom. So it got me thinking... and by thinking, I almost immediately got an idea... If it’s still not clear for you, let me remind you just how the last episode ended... with Eve sitting on her bed listening to Villanelle’s recording with her eyes closed. And now... the underwear being spotted and throwin in a bin and all the smell? Okay, I’m so going to say it now. Eve masterbated while listening to Villanelle’s voice. Okay. To me it happened and the underwear bit is a confirmation of that. And if that’s not the case... please let me know because I NEED to know what the hell did that bit mean. But until someone does that... I already know what happened and I’m happy with it.

Now the cake moment. So not only does Villanelle know where Eve’s apartment is but where she works?! This gurl is putting some EFFORT for her girlfriend and on top of that buying a very expensive cake which Eve threw off the rooftop moments later. The reason for that is.. Villanelle. Duh. I was completely mesmerized by that scene. Again, THE SOUNDTRACK. I love, love, LOVE this score that was playing during the scene. It’s probably another new addition to Unloved album, but if anyone has seen it somewhere or has a link, please let me know!! The lyrics do all the work in this scene too...

“Set me free”

It all started in season 1 episode 7 when Villanelle told Agniya that she’s free to go and do whatever she wanted to. She replied with “I don’t want to be free” so she was killed off. Now, Being FREE has been mentioned SEVERAL times this episode. Including the lyrics in the soundtrack AND Sandra Oh talking about Eve trying to FREE herself from the Twelve and basically from the life she has been living before. Such a huge theme for Killing Eve. What does it mean for Eve to be free? Is it the same thing as it is for Villanelle? Again, in the scene with the accountant’s wife, Bertha, Villanelle tells her “You’re free now. You can be whoever you want.” and the other replies only with “But.. I don’t want to be free”. What an iconic parallel. So, for Villanelle, being free is being alone, as it seems. And in this case Eve is desperately clinging to Niko because she, like Bertha, doesn’t want to be free. Or more like.. she THINKS she doesn’t want to be free. So all those small gifts coming from Villanelle including the cake tells Eve that she CAN be set free. And.. as we can see from how the episode eneded.. Eve is now finally FREE.

She opens the box soo carefully, not knowing what to expect from Villanelle and then sees the cake. Immediatelly gets flashbacks to their moment in the bus and how they fought and most importantly, KISSED. And next thing you know... we see how a gush of air blows in her face with the sound of someones BREATH. The sound of it is soo familiar. We know exactly who it is. Villanelle, breathing in Eve’s face. And for a second she closes her eyes. Gives into it... into Villanelle but then something shifts, the struggle within her continues to take over and she grabs the cake once she gets emotional and throws it off the roof. Only to instantly regret it afterwards. The complexity of this scene and of Eve’s character is just.. on one hand she hates feeling like this now that she knows she has feelings for Villanelle, but on the other hand she likes it... she admits it and a part of her just wants to give in. We saw the same thing, only reversed feelings, in previous episode. She finally gave in and kissed Villanelle only to headbutt her right after, once she realized what she did and how WRONG it’s supposed to be. Here, she gives in for a moment.. closes her eyes and then realizes how fucked up that is and what a terrible person and WIFE she must be so she throws it off and THEN the feelings for Villanelle comes back... I just have to say.. I’M LOVING THIS! I hope that at the end of the season Eve WILL fully accept her feelings for Villanelle and become new version of herself, new version of Eve who is FREE. And I can’t wait to see what kind of person will independent Eve be like.

Next. Eve and Jamie. I’ve seen pictures of them in Jamie’s house and I did NOT like that atll. I still have a feeling something might happen between them and god, do I hope I’m wrong. But that scene as they were just chilling in his living room was so great for Eve because she needed someone to have this frank conversation with. She has been focusing on herself lately so much that she didn’t think other people did mistakes or terrible things like she did until Jamie proved her wrong. FINALLY we are getting some information about the dude. Even if it’s not pretty. At least it’s the truth. Eve really needed to hear it and especailly the ‘choices’ part. Someone had to remind her that SHE is in control of her own life and it all depends on the choices she makes at the end of the day.

Speaking of choices, as soon as Eve gets a reply from Niko, she gets hopeful and goes even as far as to meet him. I appreciate that she is putting so much effort in trying to fix things between her and Niko, but at the same time I feel she’s only doing this for herself... meaning, that she doesn’t want to lose the person that keeps her somewhat SANE still and used to ground her. And in the middle of this, she gets so distracted with this thing with Niko, she doesn’t even realize that it’s not actually Niko who’s messaging her and really, I don’t blame her for not realizing it, I, myself, the first time watching didn’t catch the sight of Dasha in the beginning and yeah I was also played like Eve. But this is where I noticed a nice similarity/parallel between Eve and Villanelle. Eve’s all distracted with Niko and desperate to patch things up, she’s not realizing how someone else might be manipulating/using her. DASHA is doing exactly that. And she does the same thing with Villanelle at the same time. Now, Villanelle is all about family this season, whenever she hears about family, suddenly she’s distracted and the same is with power. I mean.. is she really that naive to trust Dasha again? It looks like Villanelle believes everything Dasha tells her, or almost everything. And so Dasha gets to manipulate her into doing what she wants her to do.

Gotta mention the teddy bear Eve found in one of Jamie’s rooms she’s staying at. Literally the previous night Villanelle sent her a teddy bear with recording and even here... at some strangers house she finds a teddy bear. Seems like she can’t get away from Villanelle no matter how much she tries. “What do you want from me?” She’s asking Villanelle because she clearly isn’t leaving her alone.

The last scene with Eve witnessing Niko’s death... all I can say is GIVE SANDRA OH A GODDAMN EMMY ALREADY!!! Her seeing Niko suddenly being stabbed with a fucking pitchfork in the neck forced her to freeze and stare in terror and that chuckle of disbelief that followed afterwards.. as if saying “am I dreaming? Is this really happening? It can’t be” because Kenny JUST died... what are the fucking odds someone just stabbed Niko in front of her eyes?! I would lose my SHIT... and Sandra expressed it so beautifully... her slowly approaching the scene but then has that massive lump in her throat and she can’t breath and next second she’s losing her balance and falling to her knees in complete defeat and just stares at his body... powerless to do anything about it. This scene and the scene where Konstantin tells Villanelle that Eve is alive.. these two scenes HAVE to bring Jodie and Sandra EMMY’S because thats ART of acting and pure talent and I can’t imagine them NOT getting the awards they deserve. And they deserve EVERY single one.

So there is literally NO ONE left for Eve. Bill’s long gone, Kenny as well, now Niko. I think that will be the last straw for Eve. I really don’t know how she will be able to come back from this or.. keep going. She’ll have to do it to avenge the people she loved. But she really has no one except Villanelle now. And I think.. yeah, Villanelle will also only have Eve when she’s done with her “family” and realizes that Konstantin/Dasha were playing her and Eve all over again.

Konstantin

You’re in some DEEP shit, mister.

Question time. Why Konstantin went to visit Irina? What was the point of doing so? Was it only so he could ask about the German car that his wife’s boyfriend owns? Or was it purely on Irina’s part? Because the conversation they had proved once more that Konstantin is NOT fooling anyone. Everybody knows he’s working for himself. Eve pointed it out during Kenny’s funeral, then Villanelle with “You’re full of shit” and now Irina, paralleling Villanelle by saying “you’re full of shit” and walking off. This girl has grown so much and she’s soo mature already and smart and a fucking badass! I missed her. And by putting her father in his place she mentioned ending up “dead” .. you know what that sounds like to me? FORESHADOWING. It is exactly that, isn’t it? For Irina to straight up tell him his future if he doesn’t stop whatever he’s doing. And I guess he won’t stop.. or will he?

So... was it him who stole those 6 millions? I thought it was Sergei... but it kind of seemed like someone set him up. Was it Konstantin? Because when he went to visit Bertha and she mentioned about how her husband worked out who took the money... and Konstantin’s face during that scene... he is literally shitting his pants lol! That makes me believe he had something to do with this and he defintitely has... but what exactly did he do? And now that Bertha knows about the email and some information about it, Konstantin doesnt hesitate to reach out to Villanelle to ask her to get rid of the accountants wife only to save his own arse. Once again.

Next up: Konstantin’s relationship with his DAUGHTERS. Am I the only one who sees that Konstantin is treating Irina AND Villanelle the same way?! They basically have the same dynamic. Both Irina and Villanelle curse at Konstantin, have their small tantrums with him and can put him in his place. And both of them have already done so. And let’s not forget... the producers ALSO call Villanelle and Irina his DAUGHTERS so it’s confirmed. Everybody knows it. And recently I saw a BTS video of this latest episode about Konstantin and hearing Jodie then say “then there’s Konstantin’s REAL daughter” and then there’s dramatic close up on Villanelle LMAO! The jealousy and the way they edited it... damn. Okay, let’s just agree Villanelle is Konstantin’s daughter.

Now, did he visit Geraldine?! Because when we saw Carolyn drive back home, she saw Konstantin walking from the same direction her place is located. And her daughter was home at the time... so did Geraldine lie about Konstantin not visiting her and being there or she didn’t even know when Konstantin sneaked inside? I’m getting really suspicious now.

Villanelle

GO AWAY, HICCUPS

Villanelle? Listening to MUSIC? What did I miss? Back in season 1 she was interested only in national anthems. Now she’s listening to other kind of music?! Music to me is EVERYTHING, it’s a massive escape, it’s something that helps me get through every day and it evokes FEELINGS. It is associated with feelings so much and what does it say about Villanelle? That she has FEELINGS. The layers are slowly being peeled off her as Oksana is coming out and I can’t wait for the next episode. I’ll write another small analysis/discussion about Oksana and Villanell soon as I feel this deserves a separate discussion.Going back to the topic of music, at the end of the episode Villanelle arrives HOME and is wearing headphones indicating that she probably was listening to music on her way there. I’m sensing BIG changes. Villanelle is truly progressing and developing and we are getting to witness it!

Okay. the part we all have been waiting for. THE HICCUPS. The very first time they start is EXACTLY after Konstantin mentions “FAMILY” Villanelle is really invested in her family now and was in previous episode so now knowing that Konstantin found them probaly quickened her breathing and she got nervous/excited. The hiccups are involuntary contractions. You can’t control it. And at the same time they tend to be constant. We have never seen Villanelle have them before. And they only start after she hears “FAMILY”. This reminds me of a scene in 1x02 where Konstantin tells Villanelle Eve’s name for the first time and then suddenly the champagne’s bottle pops. It’s a sign. And the hiccups seemed to stop for a short period of time, right until Bertha approaches Villanelle and tells her that she wants to be a FAMILY and hugs her. Seconds later hiccups come back. The concept of FAMILY must be very foreign to Villanelle. It’s something she never really had and so now learning about her family, something so unknown to her, is affecting her body. And the way I see it... the hiccups are like a constant reminder to her, that yes, she never had family and that she’s finally interested to find that family again. So the hiccups symbolize the LOSS of something she never had. In this case, her family. Because we see her get off the train at the end of the episode and she reaches out to touch her neck. This scene for me has so many different meanings it’s sooo fascinating? And one of the meanings, probably the main one, is that she reaches out to her neck once she realizes that hiccups are finally gone. And that is exactly when she’s back at HOME. Back where her FAMILY is. So it’s like... she’s no longer alone, the void from before has been filled because she found her family now.

Now, the very first time I watched the episode and that last scene.. I was like “shit, did she, by any chance, feel Niko’s pain?!” I mean that’s IMPOSSIBLE. Because Niko has just been stabbed in the neck with pitchfork and yeah it just occured to me. But then... I realized that maybe it’s not Niko’s pain she’s feeling but EVE’S. We see Eve freeze and struggle to breathe and have lump in her throat and that’s when Villanelle stops having her hiccups and she has this MOMENT. Almost the same moment as Eve had when she felt Villanelle’s BREATH on her face.The connection thesr two have... I mean.. VILLANEVE IS ENDGAME, OKAY?!

We got a tiny problem now. Dasha FRAMED Villanelle. It got me thinking.. this is basically a betrayal. And could that mean.. that maybe Dasha did something similar to Villanelle in the past? Like, framed her with some kill? Could it be that huge thing that happened between the two of them? I hope we will find out at some point this season. And I mean.. the way Dasha killed Niko is NOT Villanelle’s style at all. Villanelle had PLENTY of chances to kill Niko herself and she didn’t because she knew well enough that if she hurts Niko, Eve will never forgive her for that. So she didn’t. But Eve doesn’t know that. She wasn’t a part of that conversation Villanelle had with Niko and Gemma. What Eve does know... is Villanelle’s handwriting. The iconic “Sorry Baby” should be a perfect example. Let’s not forget the postcard Villanelle sent to Eve in Amsterdam. Yes, Carolyn took it, but maybe... she’ll give it to Eve once she knows what happened? I mean there is NO way Eve will believe that crappy note is Villanelle’s. Not even her handwriting. Plus... if Villanelle wanted to kill Niko, I don’t think she would’ve done it in front of her eyes. And even if she did... I think she would have wanted Eve to SEE her do it. At the end of the day, Villanelle wants Eve to know about each and every kill she does. And Niko wouldn’t be an exception. She’d leave a PERSONAL note/message for Eve. What did Dasha leave?! “Still Got It”? Really bitch? Is that a note to Eve or Villanelle? If it’s to Villanelle... you just prepared your grave, Dasha. I can only imagine Eve finding out it was Dasha and ending up killing her to avenge her husband. And Villanelle being there to gladly assist her with everything she needs.

Carolyn

Never thought frog sounds could be this relaxing

She’s still dealing with Kenny’s death. In her own way. I mean, I understand Geraldine completely when she confronts her mom and basically tells her that she wants them to talk about Kenny’s death. If I was in her place, I would want to talk about it too. But Carolyn doesn’t seem to operate in that way. Plus, she dropped the line “there are things you don’t tell me, that are for quite different reasons” and she means it about Konstantin. She saw him leave her house. Geraldine said nothing about it. So... is she working with Konstantin now? What’s happening?

The dynamic between Carolyn and Konstantin though. Both of them are double agents and ready to betray one another at any given time despite knowing each other for YEARS. One minute they are working together as they were in season 2, then now Konstantin is doing his own thing, and even maaybe going behind Carolyn’s back with her own DAUGHTER?! I don’t believe this. I don’t think Geraldine knows about him visiting the house.. or does she?!

She comes back home, lies down and turns on frog sounds to relax herself while grabbing a pillow to press against her own face. Makes me wonder if she did it because she kept on repeating that she MISSES Kenny’s smell, but why would that pillow smell like him? So maybe she only wants to run away from the world and shut off by grabbing the pillow? Though for a moment or two I really got worried she might be suffocating herself lol! Careful with grief, Carolyn!

Dasha

The old hag of the hour.

You fucked up, Dasha. BIG TIME. But before we get into the killing, I have to mention the scene where she meets the Lady of the Twelve. That’s what I will call her from now on. So, she’s either a keeper, or someone higher. I don’t think she is one of the Twelve, but she might be very close to them. Probably an assistant or something? Because she obviously has the power to HANDLE the HANDLERS. In this case, Dasha. I mean, I only saw her once and I already have the hotts for this lady, but she’s one of the bad guys and... WHEN DID THAT STOP ME BEFORE? I’m literally in love with a psychotic assassin LOL!

Can I just point out the fact that the Twelve KNOW about VILLANEVE??? Apparently they have spies EVERYWHERE, like Eve said back in season 1 episode 3. “They are completely invisible and they could be literally everywhere”. That explains someone spotted Villanelle going around London, buying expensive ass perfume only to visit and fight with her girlfriend. And the Twelve know it. That’s a HUGE thing. They are treating it like a huge thing and they do not like Villanelle chasing Eve. That makes me think... so why would Konstantin let Villanelle know that Eve is alive if he is also working for the Twelve?! The same is with Carolyn and Eve!! Like?? Who is working for who now and who is betraying who?! I need explanations and QUICK!

Now Dasha proposing she can kill Eve... is this yet another foreshadowing moment? I know, the lady told her NOT to do it, but I have a feeling Dasha will try to hurt Eve at some point... and I hope Eve will be ready for it. As much as I would LOVE for Villanelle to save Eve.. I want Eve to handle Dasha by herself and take her revenge. I want dark!Eve at the end of this season. Am I asking for too much?! She already killed once. Might as well do it twice lol!

So Dasha is supposed to “drive a wedge” between Eve and Villanelle. And when I realized Dasha stole Niko’s phone and was texting Eve to come to him... my first thought was “Okay, so is Dasha really trying to bring Eve and Niko back together?!?” But that is complete NONSENSE! I mean, I don’t think even a professional therapist will be able to bring them back together OR let alone recommend them to try to fix their marriage so how in the HELL would Dasha do it? It didn’t make sense.. but how else can she really fuck up Villaneve? Apprently by getting rid of Niko!! Dasha, sweetie... you ONLY BROUGHT THEM CLOSER BY ELIMINATING THE ONLY OBVIOUS OBSTACLE IN THEIR WAY!!! The hell was she thinking?! Does she really believe Eve will fall for her bullshit? Or does she expect Eve to find out it was HER and that’s when Dasha gets to kill Eve?! I don’t think she’s that smart. Either way... Dasha is done. I can totally see her dying this season, or possibly somehow magically escaping but I doubt it. Eve and Villanelle will deal with this bitch and it will be SOO delicious to watch them get their revenge.

Overall Thoughts

JESUS. This was a LONG ass review. I honestly apologize, but if you reached this point, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You’re all amazing for spending your time reading my nonsense lol! It’s just that this episode had soo many great things worth discussing and so many symbols and meanings that make the show so complex and fascinating and god... I could talk about it for hours. I probably spend around 3-4 hours writing this so yeah, the proof that I have a serious fixation lol!

But like I said.. this episode is my favorite this season. Perfect. I can only imagine how great the next 4 episodes will be. Also, can’t believe we are already halfway into the season. It’s crazy how quick the time flies!

And as always, if you have any thoughts/reactions/predictions you’d like to share don’t be afraid to message me or drop in my askbox!! I’m always up for discussing things like that!!

#ke spoilers #killing eve #villanelle #jodie comer #eve polastri #sandra oh #villaneve #ke s3 #ke 3x04 #ke review*#ke*#ke 3x04 review #this shit is LONG™#creation

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a-lonely-tatertot · 3 years

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Finding Home

A/N: HIIIIIII IM BACK BOIS! Anyways this is a shorter chapter I didn’t wanna mess with outline so you get tiny chapter. sooo woot woot for like barely 2k words? But like the doc im writing this on is at like 19k and 29 pages i am in shock. trying to get back a consistent updating with this so uh yeah dont keep your hopes up tho- working on ch. 7 rn hope you enjoy! As always betaed by the glorious @bookwyrminspiration

words: 2208

tw: none

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Chapter 6: These Secrets Stain Us Red

They had gotten off the bus at the last stop before Kull, stepping out into the cold air. Sophie glanced at the trees in the distance turning orange and yellow. Distantly, she remembered when she was younger this was her favorite season, how the leaves would fall and crunch at her feet, and how it was actually somewhat bearable to be outside. She smiled at the memory as she held Linh’s hand, walking quickly to the gas station, her stomach already grumbling.

“Linh?” a voice called from behind them as they stood in line. Linh swung around, trying to find the source of who called her, nearly startling Sophie into almost dropping her water. The mystery person stepped out from behind a small cluster of people with an overly energetic wave. “Linh! It is you!” he called.

Sophie watched as Linh’s eyes landed on the man and her whole expression shifted. As opposed to the man’s own happiness, Linh seemed to put a wall between her real emotions and the rest of the world, her face betraying nothing. “Hey, Sameul!” Linh said in pretend excitement; Sophie knew that her words carried an undertone of malice.

This Sameul was not the man Sophie had seen in the memories, but from Linh’s reaction, he seemed to probably be involved in whatever Linh was in.

“That’s me,” Sameul responded, clearly not getting Linh’s annoyance like Sophie was. “Geez, it’s been what, how many months since I last saw you?”

“Yeah it’s been a while,” Linh said, her shoulders rigid and her jaw set. Who the heck is this guy? she thought. Their name was called and Sameul followed them to go pick up their food. Sophie tried not to feel trapped with the way Linh’s eyes darted.

Sameul smiled ruefully, “Last time I saw you you had a little backpack and were running out the door in the middle of the night.” Linh took in a sharp breath and stuttering to a halt, her tray of food almost dropping. Sophie raised her eyebrows, more confused than ever. There was a beat then a sharp ring interrupted the weighted silence and Linh’s eyes widened with relief.

“Oh Sam, I’m sorry, that’s her sister calling. She’s really gotta take that. Why don’t you come with me?” Linh asked, more of a command than a suggestion. Reluctantly, Sophie pressed accept on her phone, ready to unleash the crazy whirlwind of shit that she had found out on one completely unprepared Amy. “What up checking in blame Tina she was worried,” Amy said, boredom concealing her concern.

“Uhuh sure Tina was worried,” Sophie chuckled. “Anyways, Linh is being super suspicious.”

Amy made a startled noise, “O-okay then so not well.”

Sophie nodded even though Amy couldn’t see her, “Yup, also uh side note, totally did not watch another one of her memories.” “Sophie! It’s like you’re trying to do it on purpose!”

“It was an accident I swear!”

“Mhm, yeah, definitely.”

Sophie grumbled, “Oh screw off. Anyway, I was in this bathroom and her knuckles were all bloody like she had punched something. And then this guy came in and said that she wasn’t allowed to be reckless anymore, but from what I saw it was like she was living with some other runaway people I guess?”

Amy was silent for a moment. “Well damn.”

“Yeah,” Sophie agreed. “You shoulda seen her when this guy recognized her while we were getting food; she got like scary tense and for a moment I thought she was gonna water power him.” “Water power him? Really? That’s what you’re calling it?” Amy said. Sophie could practically hear her raising her eyebrow. “At that point just call it water bending.”

“I refuse to call it that.”

“How dare you; you’ve disrespected our childhood.” Sophie laughed. “But seriously,” Amy continued, and she knew she wasn’t going to like what she was going to say next, “Soph, what happened to telling her about the memories? Instead, you just spied more.” “She’s the one with the sketchy past!”

“That you don’t have any right to!”

“She’s been weird and I need to figure out why. Once I do I’ll tell her everything.”

“No, you don’t need to figure it out yourself! You need to talk to her and she will tell you if she’s ready to.” “Don’t tell me what to do Amy. She lied to me. The first night we were together we talked about how we got here and she lied to me like it never happened.”

“This isn’t war Sophie. Just because you’re scared, just because she lied doesn’t mean you get to invade her privacy. She’s not the enemy Sophie, she’s your girlfriend.”

Sophie hung up and her phone buzzed twice more while she watched Linh walk back over to her. This wasn’t Amy’s problem, this wasn’t Amy’s life, so screw her for trying to tell her what to do. She had the abilities and she was sure as hell going to use them. “Sam left,” Linh said with a clearly fake smile. “Said he should probably get back on the bus and didn’t want to intrude.”

At that Sophie raised an eyebrow, she didn’t need to use her telepathy to know it was a lie.

Stepping on the bus felt like placing the weight of the world on her shoulders. She knew that man was something to Linh, or Linh was something to him; maybe he was what Linh was running from. She didn’t have regrets when she reached carefully out to Sameul’s mind and glanced at what he said to Linh. Maybe she should’ve regretted it, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She needed to know, when she had left the Lost Cities it was her way of saying “I will not be lied to even if it seems better that way”. So much had been kept from her and here she was, getting things from the source instead of waiting for someone to tell her.

The words, “You haven’t changed Linh,” rang in her ears as she pulled back, not letting any emotions show on her face as Linh followed behind her. Linh didn’t say anything so Sophie didn’t say anything and they settled into a tense silence as the bus around them buzzed with noise. Sophie tried to think of something to say as the words played on repeat in her head but Linh beat her to it.

“You never told me much about Mari, about what she means to you,” Linh said. Each word seemed rehearsed as if she had said it in her head a thousand times before speaking the words into existence. “I didn’t know you cared,” Sophie responded quickly before she could think it through.

“Tell me about Mari?” Linh asked softly.

Despite what Sophie was hiding from Linh and what Linh was hiding from her, she couldn’t stop herself from talking. The words may have meant nothing as she rambled on about her life there, only meant to be a distraction, but she let them spill from her lips without hesitation. She talked of Tommy, Angie, and Mari, of her weekly game nights, of the regulars at the diner. The people she had come to love yet when the time came she didn’t hesitate to leave ‘cause she was scared. Scared of the permanence of it, scared she’d lose herself in the dream of it. And how when she burned those bridges all she felt was a gaping hole in herself. As she talked she thought of the people she had left in the Lost Cities; how she burned it all like she had when she was young and reckless and angry burning her mark, the moonlark, into the ground desperate to prove something, desperate to mean something. But now she was afraid of that, tearing everything to shreds, burning it to ashes because she didn’t know how to mean something to someone. She thought of what Amy had said and briefly wondered if she would ever be able to just talk about something instead of treating everything as a mystery she was destined to solve. Eventually, her words lulled Linh to sleep and she let out a soft sigh of contentment as she laid her head on Sophie’s shoulder. Sophie glanced at Linh, only allowing herself a quick look at her girlfriend’s soft and relaxed face before staring out the window watching the gravel pass, not allowing herself time for her guilt and sadness to rise. She wasn’t allowed those feelings. With every fiber of herself Sophie dreaded and couldn’t wait for the moment they stepped off of the bus into Kull, the town with as weird of a name as people.

An hour later, as the sun started to fall behind the trees and the sky began to turn dark, that moment came and Sophie found her entire body filled with anxiety. They made their way to the front, Sophie in front of Linh, her hand stretched behind her holding Linh’s hand like a lifeline.

They were the only ones getting off and within seconds they were left standing on the dirt road, the bus was long gone. The air was cold, and the wind blew lightly, tossing around Sophie’s ponytail. Neither spoke to the other, standing in silence, staring at the buildings in front of them. It felt like they’d break a spell if they moved, if they talked, so Sophie didn’t. But Linh did (a spell didn’t need to last an eternity in her mind, just for the moment that it was intended for). Linh squeezed Sophie’s hand three times, dragging her out of her haze to stare at Linh confused.

“It’s a human thing,” Linh said sheepishly. Distantly Sophie remembered Amy teaching her, three squeezes, “I love you”. Four squeezes back and Sophie had said, “I love you too.” She didn’t have time to think if it was a lie because with that she started walking, entirely on autopilot, the familiar route to Mari’s house ingrained in her mind. It was after hours, so there’d be no point going to the diner. So she dragged Linh down main street, taking a left about halfway down, and then it was another block til she found herself outside the door on the white porch of the bright mobile home with her whole body buzzing. It was almost too much to be there; staring at it again it was like nothing had changed. But something had, because she didn’t have a key, and so she knocked with all of the impulsive courage she had left.

Three rapid knocks.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds.

The door opened with a creak.

It wasn’t Mari.

There was a man, about her height, hair pulled in a bun and silver bangs over glasses. He was familiar, why was he familiar? Linh drew in a harsh breath of air and squeezed Sophie’s hand as tight as she could. That was when the puzzle pieces fell into place. That’s when it all made sense. The man standing in front of her was someone she hadn’t seen in two years other than in the memories she had unrightfully stolen from him. The man standing in front of her, still with his signature silver, was Tam Song.

Amy’s phone buzzed next to her, pulling her away from rereading her homework question for the eight time. Ever since Sophie’s call and her following silence Amy couldn’t focus; she tried to distract herself, and pulled herself away from texting Linh and telling her everything Sophie had told her. It’s not my place, she would think. It’s not part of the plan. Her phone unlocked and she slowly processed the photo and message. It was a picture of Sophie leaning her back against the gas station with her hand holding her phone to her ear. It was just like her co-conspirators to be that dramatic they had to send a photo too.

-Operation Collect the Dumbasses-

Braincell Holder: You know we heard that call. Pure of Heart Dumb of Ass: I thought we said that I would start this conversation? No Thoughts Head Empty: Yeah well you took too long. Braincell Holder: Not the Point. The Mental Stability: And the Point? This felt too pointed, Amy thought. Way too pointed and directed at her. Her phone buzzed again. Braincell Holder: Having second thoughts? Only slightly, Amy thought, but no no this needed to happen. The Mental Stability: No Pure of Heart Dumb of Ass: Thank the fucking ancients we can move on No Thoughts Head Empty: We’ve got a Phase 3 to begin

Phase 3, which they already had planned, would be the hardest to set up. Everything had to be just the right timing and just the right place.

Incoming call from Braincell Holder

Amy smiled as she accepted the call and long red hair popped into the frame. “Where is she?” Amy asked.

The redhead grinned, “She’ll be here in a minute, you know how Mrs. Sparkly Justice is; she’s got meetings but she said she’s got a friend who wants to help.”

Amy smiled, their little band of conspirators and their plan was working better than she could’ve imagined.

“So,” Amy said, “Where do we start?”

#appologies for italics i missed #tumblr was being shitty and i wasn't gonna do it all #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #amy foster #sophie foster #kotlc fic #kotlc fan fic #solinh #tam song #finding home #tater writes #kotlc sophie #kotlc amy #kotlc linh #kotlc tam

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ener-chi · 3 years

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Big Update

The past three weeks have been just... insane, really. Like it’s been probably the craziest 3 weeks I’ve had in the past year - and that’s saying something.

First off, I’ve just been insanely busy with life - I had the last 3 weeks of school - and just had so many projects and papers due all at the same time. Work has also been very busy, with people quitting I’ve had to work more than usual. Those two things coupled with all of the crazy spiritual shit that’s been happening to me - I’ve barely had any time to breathe!

Sooo I guess I’m kind of working with Odinn now. With his help, I had some old habits resurface, which ultimately led to the unearthing of a fractured heart chakra due to trauma.

That whole process has been HELL. It made all of the other things going on in my life veryy difficult lol. “In order to heal, you need to be vulnerable. And being vulnerable is difficult.” I would definitely agree with this sentiment. While it’s gotten better, it’s definitely still ongoing lol

But yeahh so that happened. Hm. Oh - I did work with some moldavite for a period right before all of this kicked off. While I can’t attribute all of this to it, I do think that it contributed to it somehow in the least. Also - the moldavite in our shop has been selling like hotcakes - very high in demand.

What else... I’ve had some major energy upgrades. Everything in my practice is different now - the way I see and view things, the way things feel, the way I do things. It’s been quite a big change, a tumultuous shift.

So yeah. Sorry that I haven’t gotten to do any readings the past couple of weeks... my inbox is still full, but I just literally have not had neither the spare time nor the energy to do any of them.

BUT I did just finish the term... and while I still haven’t really had a whole lot of down time due to stuff going down at work, things are finally starting to settle down a bit. Even though it’s been a couple of weeks, I’d still like to get back to my readings. I have a bunch of new tools that I’d like to mess around with. I also did buy a new tarot deck! So I’d like to get some use out of that too ((:

I think it’s funny that the spring equinox is tomorrow. Like everything that has happened in the past couple of weeks kinda makes sense; the transition between seasons is ALWAYS very rocky for me. Also... we are entering a more Yang time of year, and this rocky change definitely feels in-line with that.

I think that’s it for now. I hope that everyone has a wonderful night.

Blessings!

#this is the update that's like #yes I'm alive #no I didn't die #maybe felt like it sometimes #but I'm here ! ((:#mine #journal #3.19.21 #path #od #about me

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ameliashepherdwannabe · 3 years

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This is a prompt from @doep1csh1t

Amelia gets sick (your choice with what) while living at the hospital in season 12 (after Mer kicked her out and she fought with Owen, before Mer’s attack). Maybe Jo and Alex find her and take care of her until Maggie can come help.

THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG IM SO SORRY!! i’ll try to be more active now that my school works done. There’s some jolex here too :)

tw//suicidal thoughts

Let Me Help You

My eyes burned. My throat burned. My head burned. Everything was on fire. I sent everything up in flames. Again. Of course I did.

I was doing good, after derek’s death, after Mer came home. I was with Owen, kind of. I was happy, I laughed, I smiled, I joked.

And now I was in a supply closet sobbing. Hugging a bottle of vodka I took from someone’s locker.

After I yelled at Meredith and she kicked me out, I felt empty, hallow. I went down to the clinic to avoid anybody that I had ever talked with. Which wasn’t a good idea considering it was the beginning of the flu season and people were spitting up germs left and right. I felt horrible. I couldn’t tell if that’s because i’ve been sobbing my heart out or coughing up my lungs for the past hour.

The only thing stopping me from downing the entire bottle was how physically bad I felt. I really wanted to but I was exhausted, my chest was heavy and I couldn’t get my head to lift past the cold floor. What if I was dying? That’d be good. I would see Derek, my dad, Mark, i’d get to know Lexie better. And my son. What if I just died? It would be better then facing whatever mysterious deadly disease I contracted. I try to push myself off the floor but the world spins and another harsh coughing fit forces me back down. Well I guess this is how god wants me to die. Slow, and painfully. Like my life. No, no. There’s no god. No god would take away every ounce of happiness in my life. Nobody in the right state of mind would do it. Well, maybe god has a giant inoperable glioma. Then I guess I could forgive it.

My chest stings, so does my throat. I want to go home, run a hot bath and snuggle into bed, but I don’t have a home. I’m homeless. This wouldn’t be the first time. Hell, it wouldn’t be the second.

The door of the supply closet opens but I have no strength to move. I start crying even harder, tears blur my vision. I know whoever this is going on to think I’m some sort of crazy lady on the floor of a supply closet hugging an unopened bottle of vodka.

“Docter Shepherd?” someone asks, I hear the door shut behind them. I hear concern in their voice and it makes me cry harder. “Do you want me to go?”

I open my eyes and notice Wilson still standing by the door, her hand still on the handle. If she left, I’d be alone, I shouldn’t be alone right now. I shake my head and she starts to grab a few things, as she turns to leave she asks, “Do you need anything?” I start coughing again and crying.

“Don’t go,”’I beg softly, “Please,”

“I’m on Dr. Avery’s service today, I’m sorry but I need to get back. Do you want me to get somebody? Maybe Dr. Grey?” The thought of Meredith seeing she successfully hurt me panic more.

“No, no, please no. I’ll tell him I needed you,” I just wanted someone to hug me and tell me I wasn’t alone. It made me weak and pathetic but i’ve moved way passed the line of giving a fuck about what people think about me.

Jo closed and locked the door. She walked over to me and slowly slid down to my level.

“Alex proposed,” She said softly, I could trace a tear falling out of her eye. “I would do anything to say yes, but I can’t, I love him more then anybody. But I legally can’t,”

I don’t know what she means but I have no right to judge her so I just reach my hand out. Jo grabs it and just the simple human touch makes me start to sob again. And crying made me cough.

“Dr. Shepherd—”

“Amelia,” I interject between my body trying to jack up my lungs,

“Amelia, that cough really doesn’t sound good,” she runs her hand up and down my back in attempt of making my coughs slow down.

Eventually they do. Jo looks down at me with watery eyes and puts her overly cool hand on my forehead. Jo, I’m dying let it happen.

“Dr.-, Amelia. You have a fever,”

“Wilson, death is calling let it happen.”

“Amelia, I don’t think your dying. You probably just caught a bad case of bronchitis.”

I started crying again. I didn’t know if it was relief, embarrassment for thinking I was going to die, or regret for being sick but not dying.

I curl up into a ball, You’re being so weak, Meredith would be laughing her ass off at you if she could see it. My internal monologue is the death of me. I start laughing at the absurd conversation accruing in my head.

Jo sighs, “I can take you home, back to Dr. Grey’s?”

“No, no, no, no,”

“Okay, I’m working over shift and someone’s probably taken care of what I’m supposed to do,”

I took out my phone and texted Jackson that Jo was needed with me. I sat up as I continued to cough, even though every cell in my body wanted me to lie back down, I needed more oxygen. Jo sat there and just rubbed my back.

“I’ll take you back to Alex’s okay? So you can rest? Its the safest place for now I guess,”

I nodded and leaned back against her. My sweaty body against her cool one caused a set of chills to run through me.

“Okay, Amelia, let’s get you home,”

Jo lifted me up under my armpits and I slumpt against her. We walked out into the bright hallway, I heard people’s voices but they were muffled from my fever. I knew they were talking about me. I started to silently sob as we walked.

“It’s okay Amelia, we’re almost there. Hold on,”

—————————————————————————————————————

“I’ve been driving around looking for you for the past hour!” I heard someone yell, he sounded hurt.

“I was at Grey Sloan! And why were you chasing me around?”

“Well why did you bring Amelia back here? Did you kidnap her?”

“Alex, Look at her. How could I just leave her there? I found her crying in a supply closet coughing up her lungs.”

“Jo, why didn’t you just call Meredith?”

“She didn’t want me to!”

“What about Maggie!”

“Could you guys kindly shut the fuck up, or go outside? My head is killing me.” I said hoarsely, coughing a few times.

“I’m sorry,” they whispered,

“Amelia,” Jo walked up to me, “Can I call Maggie?”

“No,” I shook my head,

“Amelia-” Alex jumped in,

Jo whispered something to Alex and then went to the bathroom to get something, my chest burned too much to care.

“I’m sorry,” I coughed, “For making you lie to Meredith and have me infect everything around you with germs,”

“It’s no trouble,” Jo answered, “Alex just went outside to make a call,”

“Oh my god,” I sat up, coughing more, “Oh god this must be so awkward,”

“Lie down, and let’s not talk about it, maybe?” she stuck a thermometer into my mouth before I had the chance to respond,

“Rude,” I teased,

“Very mature of an attending like your self,” she put a teeshirt and sweatpants in front of me, “Put those on in a sec,”

The thermometer beeped, “101.3,” I started to put it on the coffee table but Jo snatched it out of my hands, “You’re pretty bossy for a resident,”

She scoffed, “You’re pretty immature for an attending sooo,” This made me laugh, so it made me cough. Jo sat down next to me and started to rub my back, a sorry attempt to calm my lungs down. “Yeah, that’s bronchitis. Change! Then get in the bed, don’t argue, I’m not ratting you out to your sisters like I should!”

The smile on my face immediately faded, “Meredith’s not my sister.”

“That’s arguable-”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I knew she was huge mood killer, that Jo was just trying to get me to laugh.

“Change, then get into the bed. I’m going to set up a humidifier and maybe we can watch a movie?”

I nodded as I finished changing into Jo’s clothes I jumped onto their bed.

“Maggie still has awhile ‘till her shift is over, so your stuck with us for the rest of tonight!” Alex exclaimed, closing the door as he reentered the loft. I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

“Karev, is that fake enthusiasm I’m hearing?” I mutter softly, my eyes slipping shut.

“WHAT!! Of course not!!” I laugh at his response,

“Okay Evilspawn,” I mutter, it made alex laugh. Once everything was quiet, my lungs were the loudest thing in the room. No doubt about it, they were struggling.

“Alex,” Jo asked, setting the humidifier down next to me, “Could you get a nebulizer from the hospital, just in case she might need it,”

”She probably will,” Alex muttered. Just then, I started coughing. Harsh, echoey coughs that made it almost impossible to breathe with.

“Okay, let’s sit you up.” Jo pushed me up and sat behind me as I coughed into my elbow. “Deep breaths, deep breaths.”

“Alex try to hurry up with the nebulizer. I’m gonna order something from the deli across the street so just pick it up on your way back.”

Alex nodded and hurried out. “Do you want noodles in your chicken soup?” I nodded, snuggling closer to her, “I’m making them make it spicy, since supposedly that’ll help the congestion in your lungs-”

I didn’t get to here what else Jo had said because I had just fallen asleep on the spot.

—————————————————————————————————————

“I’m your sister!” I scream,

“You are not my sister. Cristina is my sister. You are Derek’s sister, and derek is gone.” Meredith’s voice echoed. Of everything she has said to me, this one might’ve hurt true most.

“Dr. Grey, I changed the mediastinal drains—” Penny barged in,

“GET OUT!” I yell, “Is this why you hate me? ‘Cause I remind you of him? Does it help you to hate me?”

I’m suddenly shaken out of my nightmare,

“Amelia! Amelia, hey. You’re shaking,” Alex looked at me concerned, “I thought it was your bronchitis but it was just a nightmare. What happened? Were you chased by a giant rubber ducky and thrown into a pool of ice?” he snorts,

“No I was chased by Medusa,” I replied hoarsely, It was then when I realized the uncomfortable nebulizer on my face and tore it off,

“Are you feeling up to eating something?” Jo asked sweetly from the kitchen,

“Umm, yeah. Could I have some of that?” I reached my hand out to alex who was eating some cheap delicious looking chips,

“Fine but you have to have some soup too,” Jo started preparing it while I leaned forward and snatch the bag of takis from alex. This was depressingly hard to do as I put my hands above my head to try and catch my wheezy breath.

“Dude, your pretty fucking desperate for some takis,”

“You’re not as funny as you think you are,” I cough,

“He knows he just doesn’t care,” Jo laughed,

“Let’s watch a movie,” Alex interrupted, jumping to grab his computer, “How about a horror movie?”

“Fine, but nothings scary anymore. Like i’ve watched all the scary ones all ready,” I reply,

“He always gets scared,” Jo adds,

“I think your talking about yourself,” Alex shoots her a look.

I suddenly start coughing harshly, too harshly. Jo hurries up to me and puts the nebulizer back over my mouth, motioning for me to lie back down.

“How about we just let you rest?” I nod slowly, drifting off into a feverish dreamland.

—————————————————————————————————————

I wake up and feel someone stroking my head, I’m pretty sure I had just slept awhile but I didn’t feel much better. I push away whoever’s touching my head as it makes it pound harder.

“Amelia, hey, you’re awake!” Maggie says softly,

“Ugh, where am I?” I ask groggily,

“Back home, at Meredith’s,”

“What?” I sit up, “I can’t be here!”

“Amelia, it’s okay. Your sick, you need to rest,” Almost on que, I started coughing harshly. Maggie handed me a tissue to spit up some phlegm in.

“Meredith hates me though,” I layed back down on her lap, “I shouldn’t be here,”

“Well Meredith will get off her high horse when she sees how deathly pale and sick you are, huh?”

“Meredith will get off her-” Mer barged into Maggie’s room, “Amelia! What are you doing-, are you okay?”

I give her a thumbs up and cough quietly,

“She’s fine, but let’s not kick each other out, how about that?”

Meredith paled at Maggie’s accusation, obviously regretting what she said. But it was my fault, I pushed her too far. I knew it as I said it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I looked her in the eyes,

“No, no, save your breath,” She sat down next to me and rubbed my back,

“We’re sisters,” Maggie said, “Come on let’s say it together,”

“We’re sisters,” me and Mer muttered,

“Ugh good enough.” Maggie said.

It made me smile.

Fin.

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vickisventures · 3 years

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Durango from 8,000 feet

We made our first trip to check out our seedlings the other day. We were thrilled to see them sitting in about 4 inches of SNOW! We knew we might not need to water our trees, but we wanted to check on things and make sure everything looked alright. All of the protective sleeves were still in place and everything looked really good so far. We ate our picnic lunch in the back of the truck and just enjoyed the peaceful setting for a bit before making the 3.5 hour trip back to Durango. Glad it’s a pretty drive since we’ll be making it a few more times in the next few months.

We’ve hiked a couple more trails since my last blog. The first was a bit more than I thought it was going to be but sooo worth it. It was a 6 mile, fairly rocky loop. The views of the Animas valley were to die for though and we saw a fair amount of wildflowers along the way. There are also some amazing views of town. You get up to around 8100 ft. elevation so that was what got me. I was having trouble breathing. The trek back down was a lot easier going and we made it in around 3:45 hours total. Then yesterday, we went to Vallecito and hiked the Creek Trail. It was another 6 mile hike. I think 6 miles is about all we can handle for now. Between the elevation and the terrain, it about kicks our butts. This hike was a nice one too. We hiked either above or along a river most of the time. The water was roaring so loud at times, we couldn’t even hear each other talk. The mosquitos were a bit bothersome so we will need to start bringing bug spray on our hikes. We had hoped to reach a bridge as our turn-around point, but we couldn’t cross the “creek” due to high waters (Actually, I was too chicken to try to cross it!) and stopped short of that landmark.

Tomorrow is the big day leading to Memorial Day weekend. We have around 39 arrivals. Might get a little crazy at times. Thankfully, we have 3 couples working in the afternoon. This work week we have 4 afternoons and 1 morning scheduled. Steve doesn’t care for the mixed schedule but I don’t mind. We found out one of the couples is leaving in 2 weeks. The girl, although as nice as can be, has not adjusted to working in the office and the computer systems and has made multiple mistakes costing the park money. I doubt the managers were super upset when they gave their 2 week notice. I’m hoping Susan will be able to find a replacement couple because I’m not too excited about being short a couple the whole peak season. I have wondered if this will be our break to getting to work the morning shift from here on out. If so, it couldn’t have come at a better time as we are starting to stay open until 8pm this weekend. I’m not sure what we’ll do about our days off and church…we may just continue to do online church so we can continue our mid-week days off. We have also been playing around with other ideas for the fall/winter. Steve is looking into driving again in North Dakota for the sugar beet season for maybe 6 weeks. Then we might try to get a park job where we only work 2 days a week for December-April. We are still unsure…a lot will ride on what Steve can work out with Transystems. I’ll keep you updated as I know more.

We have found more good places to eat. We tried Olde Tymers Cafe and had some amazing nachos and fish and chips. We also went to a place I’ve been anxious to check out that is about 15 miles to the north of Durango called James Ranch Grille that is a farm to table restaurant. The place has mostly outside seating and is a peaceful location. We went with our Texas co-workers and enjoyed sitting outside and visiting…until it started to get chilly. They have good burgers and the fries are REALLY yummy. They have a little market that had closed by the time we were ready to leave so I want to go back and check out the market sometime.

I don’t know that we have any outlandish stories yet…give me some time! We have had some guests hit these huge rocks that are around the property to keep people out of ditches and the water. Steve had a guy hit one the other day as he was leading him to his site. The guest was pretty new to RVing which may have been the main issue. Thankfully, he didn’t get really upset. We have the pool open and the putt-putt up and running. We’ll start having the pizza oven going and breakfast served starting Saturday. I think we’ll be ready for our days off come next week!

#workcamping #full time rving

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electra-xt · 4 years

Note

midnight hotline is one of my favorite fics! it's so rare to find an author willing to treat both luther AND diego as, yk, three-dimensional characters instead of caricatures. i was wondering if you still have interest in their dynamic after s2? tbh i love reading your lists of headcanons, so would delight in any thoughts you have about them as a ship or polycule w/ other characters. no worries if not! thank you either way for feeding us the good content!

ahhh thank you!! luther deserves sooo much more than the fandom gives him, doesn’t he? (although i feel like after the initial s1 backlash i now see a lot of posts that wax eloquent about how poor luther is misunderstood and the most traumatized, so perhaps people are seeing it differently.) they deserve to be three-dimensional characters! they have the potential! even if the writers in season 2 decided to dumb them down a ridiculous amount. olga foroga? everyone leaving diego hanging with ‘team zero’? it felt like the writers were like “well tom hopper has great comedic timing. what if we did that and nothing else.” that being said though, i DID like how when luther stormed out of elliot’s house, diego followed him and tried to give him a pep talk. good shit! enemies to brothers!

i don’t think i’d personally write more about luther/diego as a couple— midnight hotline encapsulates pretty much all i have to say about the two of them, tbh. in terms of polycules i am a huge fan of luther/allison/diego as a threesome and i can trace this back to the fight scene at the academy in s1e3 which was decadent for a simple person such as myself who appreciates competent people kicking ass together. the reason i love luther, diego, and allison together is the power dynamics between them and the rest of the academy” luther obviously was number one, allison had an extremely socially potent power, and diego schemed all he could to climb in his status. in general, i’m much more interested in stories about powerful people experiencing a reckoning with their status and assumptions than i am about underestimated underdogs. so i am enthusiastic and excited when i see them all kicking ass togethee

i actually wrote about 7-8k words of a second luther/allison/diego fic last december, but i don’t think i’ll be able to finish it— buuut i can post a snippet here! the premise is that they are teenagers at the academy, allison is goading them into manifesting their sexual tension, and diego and luther are coming back from sneaking out to a club :)

The footsteps got louder. Allison inhaled and then exhaled, forcibly calming herself, and then she heard the sound of familiar laughter.

“They fucking loved you, man, don’t act so surprised. You can’t go in a club flexing all your muscles like that and then act like it’s crazy when girls start coming up to you and petting you.”

“I wasn’t trying to flex at anyone— you told me this shirt was fine.”

“It is,” Diego said, “if you’re trying to get laid.”

“You said it was normal.”

“Wanting to get laid is normal, buddy. We’re at the house. Come on, I’ll show you how to get back in.”

Allison stubbed out her cigarette on the metal piping on the roof, and then she climbed out onto her window, perching carefully on the windowsill as they came around the corner into the courtyard.

Luther was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white tank top. It clung to every curve of his muscles. No wonder the girls had gone crazy over him. He looked good, appealing in a rugged way, yet less rough-and-tumble than Diego, who looked like he was smudged with some girl’s body glitter. Luther was leaning on Diego a little bit as he walked. The two of them looked excruciatingly perfect in the dim light, and Allison let out a tiny sigh.

“You good?” Diego said, looking up at Luther.

“Can we,” Luther said, “just sit for a moment?”

“You really need to?” Diego said.

“Yeah,” Luther said, stumbling to the bench in the courtyard and sitting down hard. “Yeah.”

“Oh, baby, you’re drunk,” Diego said, in awe.

“So?” Luther said. “Don’t you do this all the time?”

“I’ll have a drink,” Diego said, sitting down next to him. “But it’s not really the point of going out.”

“You’re tipsy right now,” Luther said. He reached in and tapped Diego’s nose.

Diego batted his hand away too quickly, and Luther laughed. “I don’t usually drink too much,” Diego said. “It’s… special occasions.”

“Like this?” Luther said.

“Going out with my clueless straight boy brother?” Diego said. “Yeah, I’d say that’s special.”

“I don’t know why you’re always telling me I’m straight,” Luther said.

“‘Cause you are,” Diego said. “I mean, I’m not— it’s not a big deal. I don’t care about it. Thought I just… we both know where we stand.”

“I’m not straight,” Luther said.

There was no noise. Allison leaned out the window a little further.

“Oh,” Diego said.

“You wanted to know where we… stood,” Luther said.

“Yeah,” Diego said.

“Is that a problem?”

“You keep it pretty quiet,” Diego said.

“So do you,” Luther said.

“Fuck,” Diego said. He rubbed his face. “This whole time, gay chicken, I thought you were a…”

“I’m not a clueless straight boy,” Luther said.

“You’re a clueless not-straight boy.”

“Diego.”

“Sorry,” Diego said, sounding the opposite of sorry, but he was quiet for a moment. The next time he spoke, he sounded tentative. “You’re really into guys, huh?”

“Don’t be weird about it,” Luther said, looking down at his hands.

“I’m not, man, I promise,” Diego said. He laughed a little. “I mean, I get it better than anybody.”

“It’s not really a part of me I thought about a lot,” Luther said. “Until Allison’s… game.”

“Allison made it weird,” Diego said.

Allison felt a flush of shame from her perch on the windowsill. Fuck her intentions. Fuck herself. Whenever she tried to intervene in a situation, save for a crime scene, she always dug her fingers in too far and made a mess, didn’t she? And Jesus, she didn’t even rumor them this time.

“Yeah,” Luther said. He paused.

“What?” Diego said.

“I don’t know,” Luther said. He still wasn’t looking at him. “You’re right. It’s weird.”

“She has some balls to pull this shit,” Diego said. He shook his head. “Gay chicken.”

“I don’t mind that it’s weird,” Luther said.

Allison went still.

“Really,” Diego said.

Luther shifted. “I know it’s— weird that I don’t think it’s weird, because it’s weird, but—”

“Are you into it?” Diego said, voice low.

Allison could barely breathe from the silence.

Luther looked down.

“Hey,” Diego said, tipping Luther’s chin up with his hand. “You get shy all of a sudden?”

“Diego,” Luther said, “are you…” He shook his head, as if chastising himself. “Are you—”

He cut himself off. Allison watched him, holding her breath, and she could see Diego watching him too. Everything seemed to hinge on Luther in this moment— unlike every mission in which he was Number One, titled as the captain, the boy king, and it was easy to brush him off. But right now, from her windowsill, Allison was magnetically drawn to the boy on the bench with a question in his mouth and a white undershirt that seemed to glow in the nighttime.

“You can say it,” Diego said quietly.

“You don’t know what it is,” Luther said.

“If I knew,” Diego said, “I wouldn’t need you to say it.”

Luther swallowed.

“C’mon,” Diego said. “Let it out.”

His voice was hushed. Allison could barely hear him. Luther looked up at him, disbelieving.

“Are you into me?” Luther said, looking up at him.

Diego nodded, once. Then he nodded again. “Yeah,” he said. “I— this whole time, Allison’s game, I wanted… you better not be fucking with me, you better not tell anyone, I swear to God— you better forget this when you sober up tomorrow.”

“No,” Luther said.

Diego blinked. “What?”

“I don’t want to forget,” Luther said, and he dragged Diego in and kissed him.

#replies #shipping talk

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fatestemptress · 5 years

Text

Overwhelming Alternatives - Part 1 of 3

Summary: Jensen Ackles loves women. The way they smell. The way they taste. The way their hips sway when they walk away from him, looking back with that knowing look in their eyes. Hell, he can’t even look at one of his best friends, Y/N, without picturing her naked.

So can someone please explain to him why he’s fantasizing about his co-worker Jared Padalecki?

Created for @spnkinkbingo

Square Filled: Sexuality Crisis

Warnings: Smut. Lots and lots of smut. Masturbation. Porn watching. MMF. 18+ only!

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Jared Padalecki; Eventually Jensen x Y/N X Jared

Word Count On this Chapter: 5,300 or so

A/N: Hiiiiii! Its been sooo long and I have missed so many wonderful fics out there. I am dying to catch up! I’ve had this fic sitting in my drafts and it’s finally ready to post. This will eventually be a threesome, so if that’s not your thing please be forewarned. The other two chapters of this will fill some of my other kink bingo squares.

Please note, this is unbeta’d. Any and all grammatical errors are mine. (And I’m sure there are PLENTY. :))

"Fuck Jen! Hold still would ya'?!"

"I'm trying but your big sausage fingers keep pinching me!"

Jensen Ackles could practically hear the smirk coming from behind him as his co-star and best friend Jared Padalecki rubbed at the fake blood caught under the collar of his shirt behind his neck.

And he desperately hoped one of his favorite people in the world couldn't feel the shudder of his body as his fingers dipped into the sensitive top part of his spine. The tingles quickly spread out into the wide set of his shoulders and down into his fingertips making them itch with the need to reach behind him and grab Jared by the hip and bring his full body against his back.

FUCK.

He needed to stop this nonsense. He wasn't gay. He didn't like guys. In fact, he LOVED women. The way they smelled. They way they tasted. They way they whined into his ear when he was balls deep with their ankles around his neck.

Annnnnnnd he needed to stop that freight train of thought as his already half hard dick started filling out into a full blown, humiliating, hard on, in front of the remaining crew on set.

"Allright, allright Jay. The rest'll come out when I get in the shower back in my trailer. I just didn't want it dripping down my back."

And damned if that didn't just bring unwanted (cause they were UNWANTED...right?) images of something alot more pleasant and alot more white dripping down his back........

Jared let out a high pitched laugh as he playfully massaged his fingers into Jensen's neck, "Wasn't it nice and warm though, Jen?"

With a deep clearing of his throat, side eye and a conspicuous adjustment of his jeans, Jensen reached for his jacket and slung it on, "I won't even dignify that with an answer. So uh, I'll see you in a little while? We still on for Madden?"

Jared flipped his hair out of his eyes as he also reached for his coat, seemingly oblivious to his friends discomfort,"Yeah, sure thing. Gotta shower and then I'll meet you at your trailer in about an hour."

With a quick fist pound and a wave to the few people on set, Jensen and Jared parted ways as they made their way to their respective trailers. It had been a long day with an early 4:00 AM call but production issues had them calling it quits at 5:00 PM.

But despite the hectic schedule, two and a half seasons into the show "Supernatural", Jensen was still pumped to come to work everyday. It definitely helped that everyone on set truly did get along and it was a blessing that he and his co-star had gotten so close, so fast.

What didn't help was the increasing drive to see Jared's cock that had somehow, someway meandered into his every waking moment. A drive that he had never, not once, had from another man. And he had been hit on pretty frequently over his career being an actor and having, what he'd been told, were the sweetest dick-sucking lips some of them had ever seen.

But regardless of all that, the only thing he had wanted to eat was a nice, wet pussy. He loved that shit. Savored it. And never, not once, had he ever tried to replace it with a dick.

Until Jared.

Jensen sighed in frustration as he dressed in a pair of black sweats, sans underwear, and a white t-shirt, after his long, hot shower, where he had deliberately denied himself even a quick, rub and tug.

He wasn't gay dammit. And he wasn't going to start giving into these dark emotions that had been slowly increasing over the past two and half years.

Fucking Jared.

And his big shoulders.

And solid abs.

And his goofy hair.

And his fucking dimples.

And those ridiculous yellow-green eyes.....

.....that practically sparkled at him whenever he laughed at some sarcastic comment Jensen threw his way.

Fuck but he needed to get laid.

And fast.

It had been three long months since he last sunk his dick into a warm willing body and that had been from a one night stand at a random bar in Downtown Vancouver. Despite the success of the show, they were still relatively unknown enough that it was easy to go out without getting bombarded by fans. But both of them were still careful with who they took home.

Crazy sometimes wore a pretty face and a hot body.

Just as Jensen had settled into his deep, fluffy couch with the remote in his hand, his phone rang and a sweet smile and sexy eyes looked up at him from the picture on his cell.

With a smile of his own, Jensen picked up the phone, "Hey Gorgeous. Whats doin'?"

"Hey, Ackles," Y/N chirped into his ear, "What's cookin'?"

Y/N Y/L/N was the Production Coordinator on the show and sometimes Jensen thought her job was the hardest of them all, practically running the ship behind the scenes, managing all the Production Assistants and dealing with all the whining that comes with it. Even though they had a good crew, people were still human and lord knows they needed someone to bitch to when they felt they weren't being appreciated. But Y/N handled it all with grace and a firm hand. She was respected by everyone on set and, if Jensen was being honest with himself, everyone, male and females included, were already half in love with her.

Jensen was lucky to call her one of his closest friends......and if he sometimes pictured her naked, well, it was only natural. She was beautiful, intelligent and sarcastic as hell and he was by no means a saint.

"Waitin' on Jared to finish conditioning his hair. He's gonna come over and get his ass kicked in Madden."

Y/N let out a husky laugh in his ear and Jensen shifted as his dick twitched at the sexy sound. Maybe he should have considered underwear.

"So another two hours then?" She deadpanned.

"Nah. I think deep conditioning was yesterday. He should be here soon."

"Ha! Okay," Y/N let out a slight sigh in his ear and it sounded almost melancholy.

"Hey, whats wrong? You okay?"

"Yeah....I mean....yeah I'm fine. It's just....I broke up with Chad."

Jensen's ears perked up at the name of Y/N's, now, ex-boyfriend, "Wow, I'm, uh, really sorry to hear that, Honey."

Y/N let out a snort, "No, you're fucking not. I know you hated him. You made it pretty clear every time you saw him."

With a chuckle, Jensen shrugged, "You're right. I did fucking hate him. He didn't deserve you. He was a jerk who was starting to become a possessive asshole. And his name was Chad. It's almost a pre-requisite that douche bags are named Chad. But, uh, why did you finally see the light?"

There was silence on the other end for a a bit before she answered, "He, um, tried to tell me that I was getting too close to you and Jared and that I needed to stop being friends with you outside of work. So I told him to fuck off and take a hike."

Jensen let out a snort of his own, "That's my girl," At the continued silence, he cleared his throat slightly, "Are you okay? I mean, listen, even though I hated the guy, I'm not the one who's gotta be with him. You know I'll support you no matter what and I don't want to be the reason you're not with someone that you maybe....love-"

"Yeah, no. There wasn't any love there," She quickly interrupted before heaving another sigh, "I was just....I dunno...lonely I guess? The hours we work are brutal and he was, you know, around. Whatever, what's done is done and honestly no ones gonna tell me I cant hang with my two favorite pain in the asses."

Jensen didn't acknowledge the thrill that ran through him at her words. He was just gonna ignore the hum of content that made him smile. She was his friend, (hot, sexy, beautiful friend), "Do you wanna come over and hang with us? Take your mind off of things?"

"Thanks. I may take you up on that later on tonight. I'll text you."

"I still got a bottle of Stoli Razz here from last time if you're interested in getting obliterated."

"Ahhh, Ackles. You always know just what I need. Talk soon."

With a smile and a goodbye, Jensen ended the call. Since he'd started talking to Y/N on a more personal level about a year ago, she had been with Jerk-off-Chad. And despite his sexual attraction to her, he'd always kept her in his off limits category. Even without her having a boyfriend, he didn't want to jeopardize what they had. He respected her way too much for that.

So then why did he have a sudden vision of her on her back while he licked between her legs?

Fuuuuck he realllly needed to get laid.

First Jared and now Y/N.

Both people he loved and cared for deeply as friends. And his perverted mind was making them into sexual conquests.

Maybe a quick rub and tug was just what the doctor ordered.

With a quick glance at the time, Jensen realized he still had a good twenty minutes before he could expect Jared to knock on his trailer door. Plenty of time to relieve some of the ache his too full balls were giving him.

He quickly pulled his lap top over from its resting place on the side table next to his couch and brought up one of his favorite porn sites. (Yes, he had favorites and if you asked him he'd tell you he had his go-to videos categorized and in corresponding folders. Fuck anyone's opinion. He was twenty-eight, almost twenty-nine with no steady girlfriend. His hand rarely left his dick when he was alone.)

In a rush, he picked a random video that looked good and pressed play before placing it back on the side table with the screen facing him. A deep moan drifted from the speakers as he saw a girl kneeling in front of a huge dick before she swallowed it down in one gulp, lovingly rubbing the balls underneath. Another loud moan drifted from the speakers.

Shit. Way too loud. No need to have one of the crew walk by his trailer and have a story to tell the others tomorrow morning.

Quickly, Jensen reached over for his ear buds and plugged them in before setting his phone to vibrate and placing it next to him so he could feel it. Jared would text before he came over. He always did.

Reaching down, Jensen wrapped a hand over the slowly rising bulge in his sweatpants and bit his lip. He caressed the head through his pants and was glad the pants were black. Wet spots on the crotch of grey pants were never a good look.

And the close ups of the chick's wet pussy and spit slicked swollen mouth were making his cock start doing a steady drip-drip.

He pulled his shirt up over the flat panes of his stomach before squeezing his cock and adjusting it so it lay underneath the band of his pants, the swollen head peaking out of the top as he brought his thumb around the wetness, coating it before letting out a moan of his own. He liked to tease himself. Draw it out a little bit before the end result.

"Fuck baby," Big-dick guy said on a gasp from his place on a brown couch, "Suck it. Yeah...just like that."

The blue eyed blond on her knees let out a whine before releasing the cock with a pop, "So big," She said as she rapidly stroked him from root to tip, "I don't think I can suck this all by myself."

"Mmmm," Big-dick hummed with a dirty grin, "Lucky for us we got some help."

Well,shit. He had picked a threesome video without even knowing it. Two chicks sucking on one dick? Every. Guys. Fantasy. Bring it on.

The camera panned back into the guys lap as the blonde licked up the side of his cock and a shaggy dark haired head bent down and took the guys balls into his mouth.

Well that was a shorter hair-cut than he was expecting on a chick....

The blonde reached down and grabbed the head of hair and brought the lips of the other person to hers, tongues dangling in the air, "Hey baby..." She said on a breath, before bringing the tip of the big dick to her partners mouth and tapping it against the pursed lips surrounded by a five o'clock shadow-

Wait.

What?

Five O'clock shadow?

And to his surprise and wide eyed gaze, he watched as the dude on screen sucked down the cock in front of him with a deep growl, his shaggy hair being moved out of the way by the blonde as she waited her turn.

And instead of his dick deflating into nothing, he let out a noise he would later deny to himself as he ripped his cock out of his sweats and started rapidly stroking his dick as the guy on screen let out slutty noises and tongued down the other dudes dick before sloppily kissing the blonde with the cock in between their lips.

"Fuck, I love this dick," The guy gasped, "Want it all the time."

The blonde giggled and the camera panned to where she was running her finger around his puckered hole, "You want it here baby?"

And as the guy on his knees let out a groan, threw his head back and made his dark hair flutter around his face, Jensen let out the slightest of squeaks as he pulled roughly on his rock hard cock and he felt the pull in his balls become an onslaught of come,"Fuuuuuuuck!"

Sticky white liquid shot out of his cock and onto his stomach as he quickly realized that the reason he came so hard and so long was cause the guy on the screen was a look alike of the guy currently standing with his mouth open at his doorway.

"Jared!"

Shit.

With another squeak, Jensen slammed the laptop shut, ripped his ear buds out and quickly stuffed himself back into his sweatpants before standing up on shaky legs.

Jared blinked at him wide eyed and pink cheeked as he closed his mouth and swallowed hard, closing the trailer door softly behind him, "Uhhhh, Dude, you ever, uh, consider locking your door, if you're gonna jerk the chicken?"

"Dude, you ever consider fucking calling first before you just come over? Or maybe knocking on the fucking door?"

"I DID knock on the fucking door but you obviously had your dirty movie on too loud. AND I TEXTED before I came, like I always do!"

Jensen gave him an incredulous look, "No. You didn't," He shot out as he grabbed up his phone from the couch, "I would have felt the.....oh," Jensen gave him a sheepish glance, "Looks like I put it on silent not vibrate."

Jared's lips twitched into what could have been a smile, "Uh huh," Jared casually pushed passed Jensen's stiff form and plopped himself on the abandoned couch. He spread his arms across the back of it as he glanced up at Jensen through his lashes, "Sooooo, if I hadn't gotten here when I did, would that have been the, uh, next thing you would have pulled out?"

Jensen's eyebrows drew together in confusion, as his humiliation continued to burn through him, "Pulled what out?"

Jared bit his bottom lip, obviously trying not to laugh out loud, "Never mind. Man, its fine. Stop looking at me like you wanna crawl into a hole. We ALL fucking do it. Hell, I jerked off twice in the shower before coming here."

Ignoring the pull of desire in his belly at Jared's words, Jensen groaned out loud and threw himself down onto the other end of the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, "So fucking embarrassing," He muttered into his fingers, refusing to look over at Jared.

A small squeaking sound, slid through the air and sounds of heavy breathing filled the awkward space.

"Yeah baby, just like that. Fuck me with your fingers."

Jensen's head shot up as Jared let out a deep belly laugh and stared at Jensen's re-opened laptop at the kneeling guy on the screen getting his pink hole finger fucked by the blonde chick next to him as he sucked and licked the cock in front of him.

"DUUUUUDE, this is some kinky shit."

"What the fu-? Jay! Why would you turn that back on?!" Jensen threw himself over Jared's lap, ignoring the loud laughter falling out Jared's mouth and frantically pressed buttons until it stopped playing and slammed the laptop shut once again. He whipped his head to the side and glared at the wide grin inches from his face, "You're an asshole, you know that?"

Jared winked at Jensen as he shifted his hips underneath him, poking Jensen in the stomach with something, "You're taking this way too seriously, Man."

Jensen looked down into the small space between him and Jay before slowly leaning back into his own spot on the couch. He couldn't have felt what he thought he did....did he?

With a clearing of his throat, he swallowed and sat back as he ran his hands through his hair, "This is fucking embarrassing!" He repeated.

Shrugging, Jared leaned his head into the back of the couch and rolled his head so it was next to Jensen's, "Soooooo, does this mean....I mean...are you...gay?"

Jensen's eyes widened in alarm as his heart started pounding frantically, "NO! I'm not fucking gay, Jay! Did you not see the chick in the movie? I didn't realize until it was too late that the guy was going to be...involved like that."

Jared sent a sympathetic look at Jensen's panicked gaze, "You know Jen, it's okay if you are. I'm not judging. Like, at all-"

"Jesus, Jared! I'm telling you I'm not-"

"-cause I've swung both ways before soooo.."

"-gay.....what?"

Jensen blinked stupidly at Jared's soft smile and felt like he might pass out from sheer terror mixed with immediate curiosity.

Jared sat up and placed his elbows on his knees before lacing his fingers together, "I'm...I mean I guess...you could call me...bisexual," He shrugged before running his fingers through his hair and Jensen could see a slight tremble despite Jared's calm tone.

"Have you...um...had...you know.."

Another dazzling smile was sent Jensen's way, "Have I ever fucked a guy before?" At Jensen's nod, Jared shrugged, "Yep. Both catcher and pitcher."

"Jesus."

"What? You know if you cant talk about gay sex, you shouldn't be doing gay sex." He said with a mock serious look.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not. Doing it. I mean. With guys. And lately, not with girls either," Jensen ran a hand against the back of his neck, "Maybe that's the problem. I'm backed up to the point where my brain is floating in sperm and stupidity."

Jared laughed again before placing a hand against the back of Jensen's neck and squeezing it, "Jen, again, not judging. But, uh, coming that hard? Usually signifies that shit is turning you on. And then some."

Jensen gaped at Jared, "How fucking long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to wonder if you were gonna provide a cigarette after the show."

"Dude."

With another squeeze to his neck, Jared smirked, "What can I say, it was seriously hot."

Jensen's poor heart started pounding at an even faster clip, "You...you thought that was hot?"

Jared's smirk dropped and a look that Jensen had never seen before took it's place, "Come on, Man. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Can you really blame me for thinking that way about you?"

Jensen swallowed. Hard. "What....what way?"

Jared licked his bottom lip and bit it, "How curious are you about this? I don't want to go down a road with you and you wake up the next morning and decide you cant work with me or you don't want to be friends. I value our friendship, Man. Truly. It would kill me not to-."

"Yeah," Jensen interrupted with a soft smile, "It would kill me too."

With a smile of his own, Jared let go of Jensen's neck and sat back, "Sooo, you wanna finish watching the movie?"

Was it possible for stomachs to dip right outta your body? Cause that's what was happening to Jensen's.

"I-uh, I mean, if you, uh, wanna, I mean..."

Taking pity on Jensen's stuttering, Jared reached under the side table and pulled out the bottle of Glenfiddich whiskey he knew was stored there, "Drink first?"

"Fuck yeah."

:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~~:~:~

The first two shots burned on the way down. By the time they were both nursing the third drink, Jensen was feeling the edges of his anxiety start to float away and Jared was sitting closer to him on the couch.

They talked a little more about Jared and his previous male conquests. ("They were pretty. And hot. I have a hard time saying no to pretty and hot.")

And they spoke of how he may not advertise his sexuality but he wasn't ashamed of it either. ("Pussy and dick both make me come. Soooo, why not?")

By the time they reached the point where Jensen felt brave enough to let Jay turn on the laptop, he was sporting some chub thinking of his best friend in these compromising positions.

And if Jay's gaze was any indication, it was very noticeable.

Fucking sweatpants.

Clearing his throat, Jared pressed play and placed it on the couch in between them.

"Suck that cock. Fuck yeah. So fucking hot." The blonde said as she continued to finger fuck the dark haired guys ass before quickly adding a second finger. The blonde slapped one of the guys ass cheeks with her free hand before using the same hand to separate them, "Look how pretty. Can't wait for you to take that monster up in here. Gonna make you eat my pussy while you take it."

Jensen's head was swimming as a deep pulse of lust shot into his stomach and straight to his dick. His mind was quickly replacing the images on screen with him being the one sitting on the couch, running his hand through Jared's hair as he sucked his cock with major enthusiasm.

Fuck, could he really be this hard, this fast?

Sending a surreptitious glance toward Jared, Jensen took another sip of his drink and adjusted himself on the couch, trying to sit in such a way that his wood wasn't so obvious.

He was terribly unsuccessful.

Especially considering he had looked into Jared's lap and saw a massive boner laying against the side of his leg, plainly visible in the track pants he was wearing.

This time, Jensen had to bite his lip to keep in the moan that threatened to fly out of his throat.

"You, uh, you okay?"

Jensen's head shot up at Jared's deep baritone and he swallowed at the look of lust making Jared's eyes darken, "I, uh, maybe this wasn't such a good idea..." He said as he placed his drink on the table next to him.

Jared looked down at the tent in Jensen's sweats, before raising an eyebrow, "You sure about that, Jen?"

At that moment, the dark haired guy on screen let out a loud moan and both of their heads swiveled back to the screen just in time to see him take Big-Dicks cock in his ass. He swiveled his hip and pushed against Big-Dick before licking up the blondes thigh in front of him, plunging his tongue in her pussy.

"Fuck...." Jared let out before he reached down and squeezed his dick through his pants, "That's fucking hot."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Watching Jared touch himself through his pants was gonna make Jensen blow his wad straight across the room. The throbbing in his sweats was becoming unbearable and mixed with the whiskey in his system, he was ready to say fuck it and whip his dick out.

"Deeper.." The guy on screen begged in between long licks to the blondes pussy, "Deeper, Man. Yeah, just like that."

Big-Dick obliged and he adjusted himself to give the guy long, hard, deep strokes as his partner let out a groan and lay his head on the blondes thigh; his hard cock swinging between his legs with the pounding he was happily taking.

"You like that baby?" The blonde cooed as she ran her fingers through his hair, "Feels good right?"

"Oh my God," Jensen couldn't help but let out softly as he felt his dick dribble out pre-cum into his pants.

Jared looked up into Jensen's face and shuddered out a breath, "Dude, I'm so fucking horny right now that if I don't take out my dick, its gonna explode in my pants."

Jensen shut his eyes at the shot of want that streaked down his spine, "Shit, Jay. You're gonna kill me."

"Is that a yes?"

What to do? Lord knew he was so far gone the room was spinning. Though the whiskey could've had a hand in that as well.

Instead of answering, Jensen reached into his pants and pulled out his throbbing cock and immediately started stroking it from root to tip. He was so worked up, his hips involuntarily canted into his grip and he let out a groan and dropped his head onto the back of the sofa letting it loll to the side, facing Jared.

Jensen watched as Jared's eyes widened at the sight in front of him and he started letting out gasping breaths before reaching into his underwear, pulling out his cock (Big-fucking-cock. Want-it-in-his-mouth-cock) as he pulled down his pants with the other hand. Jay's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he leaned back against the sofa, inches away from Jensen's gasping mouth.

"Fuck..." Jensen whispered as he felt Jared's rapid breaths against his lips. Immediately, he licked his lower lip trying in vain to catch the taste of his best friend and swallow it down. He opened his eyes into slits and peered right into yellow-green orbs as he let out a low moan when his cock jerked in his hand.

He was so fucking close....

Jared let out a deep groan in tandem with Jensen, his mouth hanging slightly open as his hand reached down and played with his sack, "Jen....God...the things I wanna do to you..."

Those thick lips were so close to his own, he could practically feel them opening up and taking everything he had to give. He licked his lips, hoping his tongue would graze against Jared's but instead he felt an answering lick against the tip of his tongue as Jared tentatively rubbed it against his.

"Again...." Jensen groaned, "Please....again."

A sound of complete surrender left Jared's throat as he closed the small distance between their mouths and immediately wrapped his tongue around Jensen's before sucking Jensen's bottom lip into his mouth.

A bomb went through Jensen's torso and immediately erupted out of his dick as he came so hard his eyes crossed and he moaned long and loud into Jared's mouth causing the other man to moan in return. Come arched through the air and landed right on his t-shirt as he closed his mouth over Jared's and kissed him with deep strokes of his tongue.

"Oh God, oh FUCK!"

The loud scream from the laptop caused both men to separate and look down in time to see the dark haired guy on screen on his back getting plowed by Big-Dick as the blonde sucked down his cock.

"I'm gonna come!" He yelled into the air, "I'm gonna come."

As the blonde lifted her face out of the way, he shot up and onto his chest with loud grunts as the guy who had been fucking him pulled out and helped the blonde lap up the come on his chest.

A low groan came from Jared, "Ugggghhh, Jen. Shiiiiit."

Jensen looked to the side just in time to see Jared rip up his T-shirt just as his red tipped dick erupted onto his now exposed stomach.

It was by far one of the hottest fucking things he had ever seen in his life.

As both men leaned back letting out low gasps, Jensen waited for the awkwardness to settle in. But nothing happened. He blinked up at the ceiling of the trailer and tried to trudge up something of the fear that he felt earlier but instead he just felt....content.

"You okay, Jen?"

Jensen turned his head to meet Jared's slightly panicked eyes.

Jared gulped as Jensen didn't immediately answer, "I mean...are we okay?"

Taking in that strong jawline and those beautiful eyes, Jensen smiled, "Yeah. Yeah, Jay. We're good."

Letting out a sigh of relief, Jared closed the laptop between them and placed it on the table before closing the small distance between their bodies. As Jensen felt the heat radiating off of Jared's body bleed into own, he let his eyes slide down to the curve of Jared's lips and couldn't help but bring his mouth to his and press a soft kiss against them. He felt Jared smile before the taller man deepened the kiss and slid one of those massive hands of his across Jensen's t-shirt covered stomach. With a groan into Jensen's mouth. he squeezed at the side of Jensen's waist before meandering his fingers up his chest towards his neck before suddenly stopping and looking down at his hand.

"What's wrong?" Jensen on a breath.

Biting his lip, Jared brought up his shiny fingers, "Dude, you either have a talent for shooting long distance or you really were backed up,"

Jensen's eyes widened, "Is that my-"

"Come? Yep," Jared opened his mouth and inserted his fingers before sucking them deep and releasing them with a pop and a smirk, "Still warm too."

Another dip in his belly as Jensen tried to decide how he felt about watching his best friend lick his come off his fingers. When said friend, winked at him and bit his bottom lip, Jensen decided he was abso-fucking-lutley okay with it, "Fuck. You're gonna kill me."

Jared hummed deep in his throat and leaned his head in to kiss Jensen again when a loud knock sounded at the door.

"Yo! Open up the door! You two fools better not have drank all the alcohol."

Shit! Y/N!

With panicky eyes and fumbling hands righting clothes, Jensen cleared his throat and quickly made it to the door after looking back to make sure Jared was decent.

"Hey!" Y/N said with a bright smile when the door opened, "Sorry I took so long. Crisis with Christy happened. Again!" Y/N said referring to one of the PA's on staff as she made her way around Jensen and to his small kitchenette, "But I brought pizza!" She lifted the box in her hands before placing it on the table, "Hope you guys are hungry."

Jared and Jensen shared a heavy look before Jared answered, "Yeah, I'd say we worked up a pretty decent appetite today."

Y/N looked around the trailer and took a deep breath, swinging around making the short skirt she had on flounce in the air, "It smells like bad decisions in here, Ackles. You really need to clean up after you bang random chick number sixty-nine."

Jared let out a high pitched laugh as Jensen pursed his lips at his friend, "I did not bang any..chick in here. Thank you very much."

Y/N shrugged off her jacket and placed it on the back of a chair before plopping down next to Jared on the couch, "Then you need to figure out which sock is lying around and still hiding the evidence of your last....activities."

"Y/N!"

"Just sayin'."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~

Tagging some peeps that may be interested. Let me know if its not your thing and you’d rather not be tagged.

@thoughtslikeaminefield @maddiepants @coffee-obsessed-writer @pisces-cutie @idreamofplaid @tumbler-tidbits @glassjacket @boondoctorwho @spnkinkbingo

#j2 #j squared #jensen x jared #jensen x y/n #jensen x y/n x jared #supernatural #supernaturalsmut #spinkinkbingo #pining #mutual pining #sexuality crisis

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hellyeahomeland · 4 years

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An HYH Exclusive Interview with Dominic Mainl

[Over the last six seasons, Dominic Mainl has worked in the camera department on Homeland, working to get the shots you see in each episode onto your screens. For our “On the Record with…” series, Dom graciously answered our questions about what the Homeland experience has been like, including how he got started, what it’s like to work with cast and crew, and his most vivid memories. Thank you Dom for answering our questions! –the HYH team]

Hell Yeah Homeland: Your first Homeland episode was “Tin Man Is Down” in season three. How did the German guy become a part of the production?

Dom Mainl: Haha, pure luck? In 1998 I moved from tiny Bad Dürrheim, Germany, to Los Angeles because I wanted to work in Hollywood. I was already in the film industry in Germany and wanted to work with the best of the best and that meant moving to Los Angeles. It took a few years and a lot of hard work to “break into Hollywood” and yet another few years and even harder work to become established, but in the end it all worked out. I worked on the HBO show True Blood and met David Klein, ASC there. I really enjoy working with him and over the years we have become a good team, business partners and most importantly, very good friends. One day my phone rings and Dave said, “Hey man, I’m taking over as the Director of Photography on Homeland. Are you interested? I would love to have you on the crew” …. and I had no idea what Homeland even was! I had never heard of it! I said yes anyway because I love working with Dave and looked up the show online. So on my way out to Charlotte (where we shot season three) I started watching the first season and really, really liked it. So I was hyped about being part of the project after becoming part of the project.

HYH: What do you remember from your first day at set?

DM: Every project, whether it’s film, tv or commercials, I have butterflies in my stomach the night before day one. David Klein says, “if you’re not nervous before day one you are phoning it in,” and he’s right. We love what we do and there are so many things that can go wrong, so even after 20+ years I still get nervous. The first day on Homeland was really easy though because all the actors are sooo unbelievably nice. As a focus puller I am quite immersed in all technical things to make sure nothing goes wrong (especially on day one!), so Homeland was no different from other shows in that respect.

HYH: We know you can’t talk about season eight yet, but looking back at previous seasons, what scenes still stick with you? Why?

DM: This is going to explain a lot about why I love working with Dave Klein: there’s a shot in season three when Brody is brought back to the US and it's the first time Carrie and Brody meet since he was shipped off to Caracas. He’s laying on the bed and the camera is right in his face. Carrie steps into the background and has an emotional monologue directed at the sleeping Brody. Remember that?

So, my job as a focus puller is to adjust focus during the shot. And I felt strongly about keeping Damian sharp in the foreground although the #1 star of the show just entered our shot and she was the only person talking! General rule of thumb for focus pullers: make sure the person talking is sharp. If a lot of people talk, make sure the star of the show is sharp... So here I was, new to the show, and breaking all the rules at once. But, to me, it felt so damn powerful to stay on Brody’s face to see his reaction as he slowly wakes to Carrie’s words, until he opens his eyes and (eventually) turns around. So I discussed this with Dave and he brought this idea up with director Lesli Linka Glatter and the producer/creator Alex Gansa and we ended up shooting two versions of this scene, one with the focus shifting to Carrie as she enters the frame and one that stayed with Brody. To Dave's credit he fought for my idea and in the end they used my version. That shows you how amazing it is to work with Dave Klein--you’re truly a part of the team.

HYH: Thinking of some iconic Homeland scenes (pretty much all the scenes which left us heartbroken)--like Brody‘s death scene, Quinn driving into a lethal hail of bullets--how much time did you have to prepare these scenes? How do you in the camera and photography department plan for these scenes? How many times do you shoot them before you got the material we see in the final and aired cut?

DM: Brody’s death was rather emotional for the crew as well because that was the very last shooting day of the season. We were shooting all night in Morocco and we had to bid Damian adieu after we wrapped. It was almost the same with Quinn, although we had a few days of shooting left after we killed off Rupert’s character… But Rupert served the crew champagne after the day ended, still bloodied from the scene, which was very sweet…. plus the bubbly was rather good so I didn’t mind killing him off, haha. As far as preparation for these scenes go, it's the same as for any other shot--for me, anyways. I prepare the gear the same way I would for any other scene as reliability is key. The most important part is that the equipment is functioning flawlessly because, in the end, if the camera doesn’t record what’s in front of it… why are we there?

HYH: Homeland’s main cinematographer is David Klein, and you two have worked together on many episodes over the years. Can you describe the working relationship between the two of you?

DM: I was asked the same questions a few years ago and I have the same answer: it’s a privilege to work with David Klein because you get to work with him and not just for him. There is a fundamental difference. Of course, he’s the boss and all departmental decisions are his to make but he actively involves the camera operators and the focus pullers in the process and that’s what makes it so much fun! Sure, it really does take a while to establish such a good rapport and a working relationship like ours, because it is 100% built on trust. The example I mentioned [earlier] shows that we have each other’s back and that’s when you can get really creative…

HYH: Speaking of the art of cinematography and photography, how would you describe Homeland’s visual/photographic DNA?

DM: That’s a question for David Klein, haha. Of course I have my 2 cents but that’s not for me to answer…

HYH: What's your secret about taking the perfect shot?

DM: Generally speaking, preparation. Hard work beats talent unless talent works hard. The perfect shot is when all the elements come together in synchronized harmony. Think of it as choreography - the actors, the frame, focus and camera platform (hand-held, dolly or Steadicam, etc.)… everything that moves, everything needs to be perfectly in sync to achieve what the director or the DP had in mind and there is a lot that can go wrong. But when it all goes right, it seems effortless. What’s my secret? Easy: Don’t fuck it up. Don’t be the one element that blows the shot.

HYH: You’ve traveled with the Homeland production all over the world -- to South Africa, Germany, Morocco, and several locations in the US. Which trip did you enjoy the most and which one was the hardest work? Why?

DM: I really enjoyed Morocco. And I really disliked Morocco. For clarification, I met my wife in Morocco while shooting the finale for season three there and I will always have fond memories of that time. And I disliked season eight in Morocco, because even though my wife had become a member of the crew by then (she is the script supervisor for season eight), shooting there the second time around was unnecessarily complicated and frustrating for reasons I will not go into detail at this point…. but it really wasn’t much fun.

We loved South Africa a lot, too. That was probably one of my favorite seasons. Not necessarily the scripts but the location.

HYH: Compared to other jobs you did before, what’s different about working on Homeland?

DM: After 7 years (well, on and off) of True Blood I was happy I didn’t have to work with vampires and at night anymore. The spy game turned out to be fun and intriguing but you pay the price for getting to see the world. The biggest challenge was the constant shifts in location. One, because we ship a lot of camera gear around the world which adds a ton of work and stress (carnets, inventory, maintenance, etc.). Two, it’s really hard to find and keep a good crew around and given we were on the road for six years we had to start over almost everywhere we went and train the team to the workflow that Dave and I have had established. I admit, I am quite demanding and finding a crew that could do the job to my expectations in all those locations was not easy. But we ended up making some life-long friends… and probably a handful of enemies too, haha.

HYH: From what we were able to follow on social media, we got the impression that filming season eight has been a long and tough journey, much harder than previous seasons. Is there anything you can share about the reasons why?

DM: Well, if you go into Africa expecting you can shoot an American TV schedule with an international crew within the same time frame and on the same budget... you have to be crazy! But there isn't just one party to blame for the exhausting Moroccan portion of season eight but rather a combination of unfortunate misunderstandings paired with inexperience and a healthy dose of negligence. As they say, “everything that could go wrong, did.”

HYH: Was there ever a scene for which you had just one take to get it right? Which one?

DM: Let’s just say there is going to be an explosion in season eight and we only had one try at it. And we nailed it.

HYH: For the tech nerds among us, what's your favorite camera and objective and which scene you shot with it comes to your mind?

DM: Hands down, the ARRI Alexa Mini. Homeland is a predominantly handheld show in order to keep the tensions high while (subconsciously) keeping the audience always on the edge of [their] seat. If the cameras are handheld the image constantly moves. You can even see/feel the breathing of the camera operators. The Alexa Mini is lightweight yet robust and the sensor is the best money can buy. We used ARRI Master Primes for added sharpness for seasons five, six, seven, and eight, but sprinkled in a few Zeiss Supreme Primes this year to take off a little bit of weight. We also like to use Canon Cinema Zooms for their high quality.

HYH: Butter bei die Fische (Now’s the time for straight talk), why is Homeland still filmed in HD?

DM: Because Showtime wants it that way. I would’ve loved to shoot 4K or with a different aspect ratio or utilize a different sensor size but the people at the helm want to keep it “the way it was.”

HYH: Homeland’s eighth and final season is wrapping up and now airing. How does it feel that the show is coming to an end soon?

DM: It’s bittersweet. I have had some of the best and some of the worst moments of my career on the set of Homeland and I know I will miss it down the road but right now I’m happy that Carrie finally gets to…. Never mind, can’t tell you that, haha. I know I’ll miss it but we’re just exhausted right now.

HYH: What other projects are you working on after Homeland? Any plans yet?

DM: Vacation. No more jobs in 2019 and hopefully a good movie with a good script in 2020. I think after six years of spy TV I want to take a break from the small screen, if possible.

#homeland #homelandedit #on the record with #dominic mainl #dom mainl #interview #david klein #*

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zepdeans · 5 years

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this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite. -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like....

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out. “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know anyone else starting there.” (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris) and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!) -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too. -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎! -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :) -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!! -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you.

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice. ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush??

#not one coherent or intelligent thing is said in the entirety of this post but enjoy #skam #blabbey #clownfest 2019

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warmbeebosoftbeebo · 5 years

Text

All I Want for Christmas is You

There's a knock at the door as you get the fire going. "Come in!" you shout, figuring it's Brendon.

"Oh ho ho, little girl," Brendon calls out like the dork he is. You turn around, breath catching as he takes off his jacket: he has no shirt on, just suspenders, Santa pants, boots, and hat. He flings a sack over his shoulder. "You've been on my so-naughty-you're-good list this year, haven't you?"

"Oh, Santa," you say dramatically, placing your hand over your heart. "I tried sooo hard to be good, but your little elf, Brendon? He's been trying for months to seduce me." You pout, then grin. "And, well, he didn't have to try that hard; turns out, I am a very naughty girl."

"Well, good thing Santa is really a bunch of different elves..." he grins.

You smile too, jumping up onto him, and he has to drop the sack to catch you as you wrap your limbs around him, hands on your ass and thighs. You kiss him, one arm sliding between you to tweak his nipple. "Are you my present then, B?"

He chuckles. "Yes, this little elf is a present, but I still brought you others. Remember that list you made, y/n?"

You nuzzle into his neck. "Course I do, but there's so many things on it, I know you didn't get me all of them. And you wanted some things to be a surprise." You had seven of one kind of item in particular based on looking online with him that you are eager to get to.

It's the 22nd, but considering the time you're able to have alone together without respective families, you two decided that tonight and the 27th would be your nights together. He wanted to wait until after Christmas to get his gifts. For sure, most of your presents are for him too, including the naughty ones, but still... You can't help but think of some of the ones you picked out for him based on his choices, how he awkwardly and nervously, almost embarrassed, told you he wanted to try them, that you were so good with your fingers you made him want more.

Fuck, you kissed him so much, touched him, thanked him for telling you, told him he was so fucking hot... and reminded him just how good you were with your hands as he looked toys up on his laptop until he let the pleasure overtake him. Teasingly asked "Wonder if that'll feel like...this?", made him buck into your slick grip, rock down on your curled gloved fingers carefully massaging, pressing, stroking or shaking light and fast, like a weak vibe, over that spot inside him.

"Maybe we should start with the G-rated gifts? Well, the ones that seem G-rated, anyway." You get off him, letting him reach for the sack as you move back to the fireplace, grabbing pillows off the couch for you both to sit on. He hands things to you with the sweetest excited little boy look on his face. As you unwrap and take things out of gift bags, you discover food like berries, whipped cream, and butterscotch liqueur sauce. Only seemingly G-rated is right; as if you two don't know what they'll be used for. Next up, scented candles: peach, vanilla and mint. The books Mysteries of Pittsburgh and A Home at the End of the World; you'd been wanting to check them out since you saw the movies. The latest seasons of Supernatural--you'd fallen behind on two of your other favourite boys--and Orange is the New Black. And Tori Amos's latest cd. Brendon took second place to her as she was an utter musical and lyrical god, and your poor baby knew it, joked about you leaving him for her to your "Sadly, she's not nearly as into pussy as you are." You wouldn't turn her down if it were possible, but come on: no one could get you turning him down.

"Entering PG-13 territory, I think..." Brendon winks, beaming, handing you another.

You grin as he bites his lip and it just makes him look sexier and cuter. You can't stop gazing at him as you're opening the box, and don't look down until he does. "We're gonna have so much fun with these, Brendon." Chocolate almond, watermelon, strawberry, pineapple-mango. You kiss him, resting your hands on his thighs, gently massaging them, sighing. "Gonna get each other all messy and tasty with these?" You lick his bottom lip, then suck on it, and he moans, hands going to your hips, pulling you closer. "As if the flavoured massage oils and lubes were the only thing you got for us to suck and lick off each other. I know what that food is for."

He flushes. "Can't decide if that makes you my good boy or my naughty one. And you say *I* am on the so-naughty list," you tease.

He kisses you, slipping his tongue in this time, and you eagerly answer, breath heavier. "Being naughty is good, B..." you murmur against those luscious lips of his, climbing astride him, and you can feel him getting harder--"naughty little elf"--after your pelvis instinctively presses to his.

You find his hair, stroking, tugging gently and he groans. You love when he's noisy, your moany whimpery gaspy babe... Shameless about being as noisy as you. You lightly scratch the nape of his neck as your other hand throws the Santa hat to the side, and cards back through his hair. You stop, finding a-- "Bow?"

"Told you I was your present too." He waggles his eyebrows, chuckling at his gooberdom.

"What a present, B, looking all pretty 'n sexy in your suspenders..." You trail your hand down his gorgeous, slim chest, stroking his soft lower belly, gathering a bit of flesh from slowing down to smoke up, relax in his Christmas sweaters, eat as much as he wants to as he should, those little strips of hair you adore. You find a nice rhythm as you grind on him seriously. "Gonna be one of my toys tonight, ain't you?"

His hands trail down your back, tenderly squeeze your ass. He nods, kissing you again, pulling away to giggle, "Too bad I don't vibrate."

"No hon, I'd rather have you in human form. Boy toy, heavy emphasis on the boy. Very human form." You wrap one arm around his back, other hand burrowing under to grab his ass, smooching him, over and over before pulling away, both of you getting drunk on it. Your gaze flickers down, remembering how they feel all over you. "Especially with your mouth, B...fuck."

He licks his lips, the fucker, and gets this...dirty look on his face. You can feel his dick jerk against you subtly as he rubs back against you, hands running up your back, to your hair, carefully pulling to expose your neck to a pair of the softest fucking lips in the world. Softest skin too... Fuck, you want both of you naked, want to rub all over him, pressed together, tongues playing, hands roaming, getting achier as you think about it, feel his mouth suck softly. “Baby boy...” you moan-sigh, both of you rocking together, needy but easy. Easy as in slow and easy as in shameless hussies. Cradle his neck, stroking and lightly scratching, sending shivers through him. He revels in pleasure, touch, everything.

His hands slide under your shirt, cupping your breasts, but you don't feel self-conscious about the fact they only fill half his hand, not even full Bs, that you don't wear a bra unless running because you don't need the support. Your nipples, clit and whole pussy are too busy getting swollen and desperate for touches and kisses and sucks to care. His tongue circling over you...god wouldn't it be crazy if he could lick and suck more than one spot...somehow had two mouths...hands working over what his two mouths couldn't. One mouth on clit, other sucking one nipple, then the other, your neck... You're gasping and panting into his mouth, tongues barely touching, teasing... Press to him more, grind faster, needing, aching for him. Grab his head and kiss him firmer, knocking off the bow, and god his hair. Close, close...

“Bet you can, huh?” You nod, not realizing for a few seconds what he's referring to, but betting the answer to his question is yes.

You roll off him, bringing him with, parting to undo your pants, kick them and your underwear off. He makes quick work of your shirt. “That's my sweet girl,” he moans, nipple in his mouth, hand going between your thighs, brushing over your bush, finding you damp there, then slick and hot between your labia. Rubbing all over, telling you to rock on his hand, palm pressing and lifting against your clit and lips.

“Fuck, wanted to wait longer, but...” He's shifting down, spreading your thighs, tilting you, opening your heat up. He kisses your thighs briefly, nuzzles his nose through your hair, your wet. His tongue flicks out, tasting. Moaning, vibrating your pussy sweetly. “Could fucking live here, y/n...” he murmurs, gazing up at you, lips grazing, tongue rubbing over your labia, your clit. "Would live n die happy..." He's sucking, tongue circling over as much as he can get. Seriously. Shit, his moans...straight to your pussy in more than one way. Your hand in his hair...fouffy and silken, and you haphazardly stroke, sometimes pressing fingertips to his scalp.

Oh, fuck...his mouth. His mouth. “Fuck, B, suck it, please, baby...” He obliges...his mouth was made for this, you think, looking at him heavy lidded as he looks...eager and blissed out. Your eyes flutter shut, hands pressing on his head, rocking subtle but fast into his mouth. His hands slide over your thighs, cup your ass to get more of your cunt, chin pressing over what his lips and tongue aren't, sucking and slurping, focused on your clit, but sometimes opening up to gather more. “Circles, please...faster...oh...fuck, Brendon, ohgodohgodohgod, please...IneedfuckB...fuckmeplease...” You're coming, gasping, contractions gripping you, even more heat washing over you, blood pounding through you from your head to your cunt, legs trembling, tensing, belly heaving... He's kissing up your tummy, hand stroking over your still throbbing, aroused snatch, skips to your lips. You lick over his plush lips and tongue, his wet chin too, between kisses. “Mmmm...”

“Didn't tucker you out already?” he asks gently, knowing he didn't.

“Mmm...naw...” You stroke over his back, his ass. “Not my fault I got no blood in my brain... Lie down with me...” You keep kissing him though, stroking his hips, his dick and balls through the pants, realizing he must have satin panties on underneath, until he's panting and swearing into your mouth. You bet he's dampening those panties too.

If you weren't set on teasing him, you'd strip him, stroke over his bare skin, pubes, his silky pink eager dick and balls, kiss over his hips, suck and tongue and jack. Pussy and mouth both getting wetter at what you're doing, what you want to do... You love touching him, making him feel good, regardless of how long he lasts, how hard he is or isn't, whether he can still take stimulation on his dick because he loves being touched, loved, rubbed on, kissed, sucked. Loves fucking every which way, always making love... Fuck, everything was. “Think I should be a tease?” You love being his tease, but...fuck. You can totally go down on him, stroke him bare, and tease him.

“Still wanna lie down?” You nod, and he strokes your thighs, belly, breasts as you shift, cradles your head as you flop down.

You make grabby hands. “Want you on top of me.” You don't say the naked, but he knows you well, and the one worded question is greeted by your “Gimme my naked elf boy” as you tug his pants to his thighs, both giggling, and he gets everything off.

He puts the hat back on, and you're still giggling when you wrap your limbs around him. “My very own Brendon in a Santa hat...”

Rubbing your skin over his, everywhere you can, welcoming his weight, heat, firmness, softness... You use that moisturizer Jeremy got him into sometimes, but he does often...his skin is soft naturally, and it makes it baby soft...the softest skin you've felt on anyone. Your sweet soft baby.

Smooching over each other's faces, wriggling and touching, massaging casually. His hands in your hair, stroking...his dick rocking over your lips, clit, arousal spreading and building through you both. Silky and hard and wet from the both of you. Fuck, his dick. The moans he makes when his frenulum carefully presses your clit, both of you getting electric jolts that manage to soothe based on the pleasure on his face, his movements, noises...Fuck his dick like you are now. You think you started that, think you were moving against him everywhere including there since he covered you.

Your hands settle on his ass, small of his back, rub and squeeze over him, gently feeling those dimples, watching the pleasure on his face. He's always been on the curvy side for a boy with his frame, even having those dimples that mostly women have. Cup those round cheeks, fingers brushing between them, his gasping, fluttering lashes, rocking a bit faster, letting you know how pleasurable that simple touch is. “Applebottom,” you sigh, feeling his butt move with his movements over you, not realizing you said it aloud until he giggles.

“I got it from my mama, what can I say?” He kisses over your neck. “Should we stay like this, or move...lay out some sheets, get the oils?”

You think of him oiling you up, hands stroking until you're melting, relaxed but throbbing and so wet it's on your outer lips, hair, thighs and ass and the sheets...and his hands. “Fuck, the oils,” you sigh, reluctantly letting him go.

He wiggles his booty as he turns and you give him a swat, a stroke. “Think I'll ride that ass later...” You roll onto your side, open hand stroking over your mound and outer labia, missing his dick, his hips spreading your thighs, his warm skin, thinking.

Both of you covered in flavoured oil, him laying on you, rubbing...skin on skin, dick to cunt, his thigh between yours for you to grind on, his dick between your thighs, between your asscheeks. He lays down a couple matts, the plastic sheets. He's so beautiful: all that sensitive skin, the muscles shifting in his back, arms, legs, on his hands and knees, not realizing how it looks at first but it hits him with giggles. He turns his head and winks, pops his booty out, spreads, sways his hips, balls and asshole in view too. So comfortable naked generally, but eagerly adding in that vulnerability with you. Fuck, you can't help thinking of lapping over those delicate dangling balls, his perineum, that tender puckered skin, stroking and kissing his cheeks too, as he gasps and moans, your hands soothing his trembling thighs, head landing on a pillow to expose more to your mouth and hands.

He was often a tease with his past lovers with his ass and everything else, even tempting men with it, usually never letting more than a finger inside if anything, rarely two if slim, gentle and skilled, maybe a cautious insistent tongue if they got him to let go. Wanting, trusting a couple to rub between his cheeks without pushing inside, more inclined to letting them hump against his bum, or between his thighs, or dick to dick while they grabbed and rubbed it. One telling him how slow he'd be, how good he could make it for him. Brendon balking at something that big. Part of him wanting to try the other way sometimes but not wanting to ask for what he couldn't give, even if they offered. Besides, if just two fingers often hurt him, it probably wouldn't be easy for others... and with women, they didn't even have a prostate as incentive and pay off. You're glad other guys were safe enough to do that with for him, happy that no one pushed inside anyway.

You wish you got to see your gorgeous boy with someone else like he is with you, like he fucks with you, all that easy freedom, whether it included entry or not. You've had threesomes before, but he's not as free with men especially as with you, even now. He was and is even freer with women, calling women grinding on his ass riding the Bden Caboose even in his late teens (bless those two girl friends of his who invited him into their sex), eagerly rolling over for their pressing mounds, open pussies, stroking hands, probing fingers, tilting into it. Spanks, massages, grabs, nibbles, kisses, grinds, humps... Offering to touch, lick, finger open, massage, hump, everything to men and women back, but sometimes that was misread. (He still remembered what Audrey thought of his awkward, gooberish words, shy but excited touches, but he couldn't blame her considering what other guys who brought it up were after.) With you though, he's a... fucking nymph... God, you bet he hasn't done that, opening exposed and everything, lube nearby to remind him what could happen, and you know you're the first he’s wanted toys inside with... How does he even make you want to put your tongue there, lapping, massaging, circling...lost in him, too lusty and needy to worry about using a barrier? (Knowing you really should use one.) But, fuck, you do.

You've been rubbing your clit and upper lips for a while now, achy and full and wetter. Pressing him down on his belly and humping his butt silly as he thrusts slickly over a plastic covered or satin pillow. Maybe humping him on his hands and knees first or instead, grabbing his hips, petting his thighs and belly, gently squeezing his balls, rubbing his scrotum, stroking over his cock in counterpoint to your thrusts. Fuck, you're coming. Coming as he watches, panting, biting his lip, stroking slowly over his own cock. Rolling and sliding over each other, rubbing on each others backs, asses, breasts, bellies and fucking everywhere. Sucking each other, one on their back as the other is between their legs, and both at a time, maybe taking turns on top, on your sides. You both getting lost in the connection of mouths to genitals, that constant erotic current flowing into, through, and out of you back into him. Fingers sliding inside each other, gently spreading, rocking, searching. Him holding one of those new vibes, slipping, rocking, circling it over and in you as you command, moving into it, him kissing and rubbing on you. Feeding him your cunt as you straddle his face. Oh, fuck, another. This one grips hard, almost hurts, but you can't stop. Him straddling your breasts, feeding you his cock, his or your hand wrapped around what your mouth can't comfortably take. Fuck, you want him so much, need him...

"B... need you..."

You'll never get too much of him. You want to fuck for hours, love knowing he does too. Thinking of the fact that you get two, three, even four or more hour sessions with him as you glide over your clit and he kisses you, both moaning and panting, stroking your hair, calling you his bestest girl, the sexiest, one hand caressing over your thigh, hip, sucking your neck, hand slipping under you to stroke the small of your back, sets you off for the forth time that night. You stopped feeling guilty about your craving with him a while ago. One, no two, of the most sensuous, sexual, needy creatures on the planet. The most uninhibited, open either of you has ever been with someone, and that was saying a lot for both of you. You both had had great lovers of both sexes, great sex. But this was...fuck, it was something wondrous, often new, needing skin, mouths, genitals, drenched in want, need, love. Having him let you realize the rest of those subtle and not so subtle ways you were inhibited with men, that sex with a man could be as varied, open, boundless, ungoverned yet safe, as anything and everything as sex with women...

“Fuck, B... god... maybe I should put those panties on to keep things slowed down for a bit...” Your clit is oversensitive, hurting too much, but give you ten, even five minutes...

“Need a break, huh? I've got a matching pair for ya. You can tell me to take em off, or do it yourself when you want my hands there too. I'll put mine on too...” Goddamn, his ass, his cock and sac, hips, v-lines, in those panties... He slides another red pair up your legs and you lift, loving that he cops a careful feel after you smile your agreement of your mound and outer lips down to your ass first, pats your ass when they're on.

“Bet you can feel how wet I am through them already, B...” You brush your hand over them, then guide his. You look up at him, blissed out, sitting up, stroking over his hips, thighs bracketing his legs, delighting in that touch too, wriggling up and down them. “Peekaboo,” you sing, pulling his panties down, shifting his dick so the tip pops out, giving a few extra strokes, feeling his pulse, loving how warm he feels. He gazes back, eyes sparkling, grin filling those cheeks out even more. “Look at that... wanna smooch.” So you do, soft, then stroke your lips over it, tongue following over that hard but smooshy tip. Fuck, you'll suck him a little, you think. His hands stroke through your hair and you can't help grinding lightly against the couch, getting him wet with your sucking mouth, tongue, until he spurts precum, and you lick it up, take the second spurt. Rub your hand over his length and scrotum through the panties.

A gorgeous, pettable, smoochable, suckable... cock and balls on a lovely, gorgeous, pettable, and everything else boy. Because they're his and actually pretty and cute as far as male genitals go, absolutely silken—he totally uses the moisturizer there too, the minx—especially his dick. You pull his panties down more. God, such a good fit places: hand, mouth, between your labia and over your clit, tip to clit, the small of your back, between your asscheeks, thighs, inside your vagina. Him rocking in and/or you engulfing him, the rare times you crave and want him like that too, past begging for it into needing and truly being ready for it. Bless those girls who came before you and his own anxiety, his being eager to do what they wanted but wanting to make sure, both making him wait to make sure they meant it, him wanting to see what would happen if he didn't "get to it," that "fuck me" usually didn't actually mean what most men thought it meant, both at all and the way they thought of it. They also surprised that he...didn't, discovering they were glad he didn't rush into it, that it was a later part of things, or not even part of it. Beyond wet and swollen, feeling sloppy, almost fucked out after coming and coming, after his fingers, even a toy. So wet it's all over his dick, balls, pubes, thighs, pelvis, wherever else you've rubbed on, whether or not you cover him that way too. Him being smaller than average...fucking perfect.

“Fuck...this is your night, darlin...”

“Yes, it is,” you look up, kiss his belly, rub his back, ass, thighs, making squish noises. “My night with my good boy...my sweetest boy...” Every time with him was yours.

You still usually came several times even on “his” nights, still had him moaning around a mouthful of pussy, still had him eager for your hot juicy pussy all over him, touching, rubbing, kissing you how you liked it. His nights were sometimes him being needier, pleading, but docile. Beyond what he usually was, like he needed... lots and lots of caretaking, guidance and praise. At times even asking for, wanting you to hurt and dominate him, but you'd never be cruel to your baby, always tried to ease him out of that with loving words, gentle touch, kisses, showing him how good he made you feel, telling him that you would never humiliate or degrade your sweet soft boy. Even if you spanked him, pulled his hair with some oomph, slapped his cock, bit a little hard, got him on his knees, rode his face, told him not to come, rubbed on any part of him you pleased, gave commands but tenderly, letting him know he didn't have to, that you only wanted it if he wanted to, scratched or sucked hard enough to leave little marks for a bit... it would only be because he liked it, wanted it because it felt good, it was another way of loving him, of making him feel good... “Only if it feels good, Brendon, only if you know you're a good, lovely boy. Never want to hurt my wonderful boy...”

Other times, he'd let the assertiveness, confidence that you encouraged in him, take hold, or at least tried to feel it, both to differing degrees. Both concerned about it, wanting it to be real, not faked, but never wanting him to even seem dominant or any other negative aspect of masculinity. You were a lot more okay with getting into his enjoyment of... pain, sharp sensations, slaps, heat and cold, being bossed around then, when he was assertive back. Asked for it because he wanted it, liked it, knew he was worthy of things he enjoyed. The only other consistent differences were him being more active: moving a bit more into your mouth, hand, between your breasts, firmer over your pussy, guiding you with still considerate word and touch, asking often for a finger or two inside, desperate and assertive yet careful, chasing his pleasure.

He was usually so you-oriented, your pleasure and orgasms so arousing to him, him getting off was important and needed too, but quite down on the list, and these times it still wasn't first, but it was second. Often less teasing, playing with him before trying to get him off, unless he wanted edging. More of you seriously trying to make him come, seeing if you could encourage him into a second, a third, especially when mostly prostate stimulation. Keeping up with pleasuring him when he could barely move, lax but trembling, full of pleasure, moaning and whimpering, as long as you were on the right side of too much. Still playing with his thighs, hips, nipples, belly, lips, butt, when touching his penis or inside got to be too much.

It was usually both your sessions by design and how they developed. Switching back and forth. Lots of balance without switching. Just being yourselves. He definitely leaned towards what people would call submissive, often yielding and pliable solely in good ways, but also even what you thought was submissive, sometimes too much, both glad he could share that with you and worried for him about it, how people could take advantage. Knowing that was why he held back with men especially. He would often be able to slip back into his usual easy going, funny, eager to please puppy mode after he came the first time on his nights, or you were super smooshy with him. Your gentleness alone helped build him back up those “subby” times, or made him switch over those “toppy” ones. He could only be rather assertive, firm, if you were at least as much as he, and often wouldn't or couldn't even then. His “topiness” was fundamentally sideways.

You were glad of it, more and more, once you became lovers, exploring together, letting yourselves go. There were other guys like him, but they were all too rare, and the degree he was the way he was... it was a first for you. He had avoided, rejected, or gotten rid of what generally lurked within men to varying degrees due to his temperament, his bond with his mom, various ways he was gender nonconforming, the decisions he made in his life about how to treat people, him realizing he could compartmentalize people and how they are treated, being with you...

There were also lots of times when you rolled around, or lazed about, snuggling, making out, rubbing on each other, caressing, licking, kissing, anything and everything that sweetly pleasured, like gentle waves under a warm sun, neither of you getting around to coming. And other times just you once to three times (three times was a low number for you with your boy given the hours you tended to spend), rarely only him coming once, or both of you having those limited orgasms. Sometimes coming, sometimes not when your bits got wet, achy and swollen with need.

That's how you're petting him, kissing him, belly to dick to thighs, one hand often on his ass, between his cheeks, balls too, panties mid-thigh. Remembering and feeling that melty thick arousal, sometimes rubbing on the couch, as he’s half hard. It's been three days since you've been together, and he pants between groans that he hasn't come since as you lick the skin beyond his pubic hair.

You stroke his perineum, palm his balls, other hand focused on sliding the foreskin and tip wetly over each other. Kiss his pelvis, lips sucking and rubbing over his length, delighting in his flushed chest and stomach.

“Oh fuck...y/n...” You can feel him get firmer, pulse, contract, spurt. Not a big one considering the three days, a slow but surprising one. You catch the end with your mouth after it lands on his thighs, pubes, dick and your shoulder, hand, cheek, you bet your hair too... Your noisy shaky baby boy... “Jesus Christ. Jesus,” he pants, as you kiss him more, lick up and rub the saltiness, sweat and skin and semen mixed, into his skin.

“Babe, fuck...c'mere...” His hands shift from your hair to shoulders, and you stand up too as he sways, light headed, still shaking. He kisses you, lapping it from your mouth, moves to your shoulder, breast, getting as much as he can. You stroke over him, pulling his panties up, squeezing his ass, finding his thigh, rocking a bit.

You kiss over your lovely boy's face, cradle him in your arms, and he leans into it. His head moving to your shoulder, body slumped, both of you holding him up, as you kiss over his hair, stroking his back. “Wish I could carry my baby over... Or I can piggyback you.”

“We can do it, y/n,” he says with a thick Hawaiian accent, giggles, turning, still leaning, pulling you to him. “That's fucking teamwork!”

“I swear to fuck, if you keep singing Fuck Her Gently...” You kiss him.

“Oh, how 'bout...” He launches into diva level high notes with “All I want for Christmas is youuuu.”

“Fabulous, darling...” He can sing not just higher than you, but you swear he matches Mariah when he pushes himself. “Another reason people think we're a fag hag and her fag.” You grin as you say it, glad he embraces that fact, holding his hands to bring him too as you sit down on the mat. Noisy plastic sheet. “You pick the oil...” you sigh, spreading out comfortably, grabbing a pillow for your head, eyes closing. Mmmm, mango-pineapple.

When he first touches you, your heart picks up, cunt pulse too, remembering everything you thought earlier. How is he so sexy?

“Hopefully it's warm enough for my fag hag,” he jokes.

“Mmmhmm...Tickles...in a good way...” Wrigging your butt and thighs to provide some stimulation on your vulva. Kisses follow his hands. Your neck, shoulders, collarbone, breasts. Fingertips, then sucking mouth, on your nipples. Thinking about doing the same to him next time, how responsive he is, lapping his small hard nipples, teasing over him until he's shivering, gasping... Everything feels so nice... More oil for your stomach, hips, sides, pelvis, his thumbs stroking, palms pressing as he calls you his good girl, so sweet for him... You're just as sweet as he is, you want to say, but just gasp, buzzing all over, as he kisses over your tummy, hands still working your hips. Whole pussy throbbing, aching but melting, and you don't need to come soon.

He circles around your mound, the outline of your panties with his oiled hands, upper thighs, hips, and your legs, through your haze, spread. “'M so ready, honey.” And finally. “Thank god, B...” you sigh as he rubs more oil over your mound through the silk, outer lips, your slick mixing with it.

“That's my girl...” And he starts singing All I Want for Christmas is You again, from the start, soft enough to soothe more. Rocking his open palm all over your pussy... He's your boy.

You tummy growls. “Feed me?” you giggle. “But alas, food, not your cock.”

“I would never!” he says dramatically, and you open one eye to see him looking scandalized. He kisses your lips, still touching your pussy, other hand stroking over thighs, hip, belly as you watch, eyes closing when he leaves. Strawberries with whipped cream meet your lips. He kisses your neck, breasts, tummy as you chew, feeding you more. Blueberries and raspberries too. “Can I...?” he trails off, sliding your panties to the side, stroking between the lips. You “mmmhmmm,” eyes opening when you hear him suck on a strawberry; warming it up, you realize. He moves them to the side again, brushing the berry over your outer labia. You spread more, legs in a diamond shape, and he slips into your heat. Sliding up and down a few times before finding your clit, circling, back down, back up, circling for longer, back down.

“Sweet baby Jesus...”

“Know your sweet, darlin...” He moves it away, and your eyes open again when you hear him sucking on it. “If anything, you're sweeter than this. Wanna taste?” He dips back over you. You do, and you gaze in each other's eyes as you suck softly, nibble, getting the juices. Circling a raspberry over your clit slowly before bringing it to your mouth. You are sweeter than them. He trails down your body as he gets a blueberry, slides it inside. Another, resting between your lips. Berries and cream in a bowl for you to munch on, sliding a raspberry in your mouth for your tongue to press into. He gets between your thighs, pulling the fabric aside again, tongue rolling the one between your labia, up, back down, then eating it as he eats you. Other hand entwining with yours and his lashes flutter open, gazing up at you as he kisses over what he can get too.

You stop eating to play with his hair and he hums, moaning softly into it, lips vibrating yours. You wriggle a little. “Fuck... you can take them off,” you sigh.

“That's my girl,” he murmurs, kissing over your mound before shifting to ease them down as you lift. He bites his lip, eyes heavy as he...oh god, brings the crotch of them to his mouth, sucking. You rub over your mound, upper lips, clit as you watch each other. He winks, tosses them aside, grins as he spreads you more, kisses over your thighs, hips, pelvis, wrist, hand, licks over your fingers, and you hold one out for him to slowly, firmly suck... “Fuck,” you sigh, palming yourself, the shivers going through you to your pussy as you moan out “fuck, Brendon..."

He slides off and you spread yourself, popping out your clit. He barely presses his tongue tip against it, and you wonder if he can feel the blood pulsing there, how swollen it is, because you sure can. He laps gently over, using lots of wetness, a few times, then switches to back n forth, and you take his hand again, squeezing, other in his hair, rotating your hips. “Circles, baby...fast n soft...” and he does... You like circles the best usually, with anything, tongue, finger, the tip of his dick...when you grind on him... “My sweet baby, my sweet boy,” you moan. “Oh god, B, don't stopdon'tstopfuckIneedI'mgonna—oh god fuck me like that, faster, fuckmeohfuuuuck...fuckfuck...” He switches to your labia as your contractions subside, letting you come down some, still trembling and panting. He doesn't even give you a minute before he's sucking over you firmer, moving till he gathers up your clit, lips sealed, sucking and sucking, rhythmically, quickly, and not too hard. Cupping your ass, kneading it as you rock into it for more, back when you need it gentler. Head, womb, pussy, everything throbbing as you burst again. “Oh, god, B...cmere...”

He moves over you, fingertips swirling circles over pussy before you wrap around him, pressing as much of him, including his half hard dick, to you as you can, wriggling, rocking, loving his weight on you. You pull his panties down his ass, and he eagerly takes the hint. Kissing him long and a lot, sharing your taste, the flavored lube. Faintly tasting the fruit, even him. Doing a drum roll on his bum, with sound effects, as you both giggle, then stroke, then squeeze. “My bestest squishie...” Kiss over his jaw, cheek, nose. “With the cutest nosie,” you sigh...fuck you love his skin on yours, feeling both your laughter, your breaths. Your soft, muscled, warm squishball cutie pie.

“My bestest, favouritest squishie,” he answers, lifting you both up for you to straddle and wrap around him and it's too soon--“Too dizzy, babe”--so he places you back down, grinning as he launches into a different song. Tenacious D again, but an even better one: Double Team. Kissing your neck, shoulder, rocking his underside along your snatch, making sure you're pressed together, the oil letting you slip along each other some easily. Both giggling a lot. B sometimes follows the action of the song, and you join in too.

“Really flowing, B,” you giggle. “Feel how wet I am?” you whisper, rocking back faster. Stroke his back, his ass, suck and kiss over his neck as you dip between his cheeks, rubbing softly. “Where's the incense? We can settle for candles.” Passably beat boxing a disco beat until you both fall into giggles.

“I'm not gonna rip my jeans, I'm gonna cream them.”

You chuckle at the mention of that I Ripped My Jeans song. “Ridiculous. No, ridiculously hot...seeing my horny boy come in his pants... Sex.”

“Have you ever been worked on/By two guys who are hot for your snatch?”

“Sex...And yes, many a time...” Mostly with him, and only with him since you got serious.

He tickles your scalp, neck with the lines about the feather and french tickler. You squeeze him to you tighter. “No toe sucking, you ain't getting offa me.” The next lines have you giggling harder. And you keep him from finishing the song with your laughter, repeating “splooge” over and over in different accents, tones, volumes, then suddenly switching to “Hail Satan!”

“The question is, who's Satan?”

“Me. But you're my second in command; I rule hell, with you as my beloved consort. My beloved boy...”

If your boobs were bigger, they'd be getting smooshed, you wouldn't be able to press quite as close, squeeze him to you so much, or it'd hurt; instead they fit along him so well. Your chubbier lower belly, hips, thighs give him some cushioning. You don't feel weirdly proportioned when you're having sex with him anymore, or when you're leaning together, hugging, lazing on the couch.

He's nuzzling over your neck when he chuckles. “I think I forgot something...”

“What?”

“Guess you can't feel it, huh?”

“Oh, the blueberry!” You clench and then you can feel it. You're tight, but not that tight. And your vaginal walls ain't your clit or labia. He faces you on his side, and you push down as a finger slides in, looking for your ok before adding a second, easing it in. You're so wet, puffy and relaxed it's easy going, letting him scoop it out easier. You like to think you're giving him a vagina hug when you squeeze him.

“You know I'll still eat it,” he winks, and pops it in, sliding a different finger in for more hugs.

You turn into him, wrapping him back up, sharing the taste. “Can't decide if I wanna keep you smooshed to me or if we should get to the toys...”

“Let's do both then, hmm?”

He moves away, swaying his hips as he goes, then fucking pops his ass up in the air again as he grabs the bag, making you giggle and flex your vulva muscles. “Which one first, darlin?” he murmurs, spreading the four toys out. A double bullet, a rotating rabbit, a simple slim squishy one, a handsfree butterfly...

The double bullets are different sizes: a slim longer one, barely thicker than a finger, and a egg shaped one, which you've not done together before, but the latter is still familiar so you go with that.

“Want to do the honours?” he asks after opening it and putting the batteries in. You nod, reaching out.

You turn it about half way, not wanting to shock your pussy. He holds the bullets in his open palm and you both giggle as they knock together. You know you want the fat one on your upper labia and clit, but aren't sure about the slim one... You get on your knees and give B smoochies before dribbling some lube onto them and his palm. “Rub me, B...” you invite, spreading out on your back, wriggling your hips.

He grins. “Think I'll do... this...” he answers, whole hand cupping, stroking over as much of your mound and vulva as he can get to, other hand holding the bullets by the cords, moving over your thighs, lower belly, mound, the creases where thigh meets groin. “Fuck, love the feel of your pussy,” he sighs absently, and you rub up against him, grinning and mmming. And she loves the feel of you, B, you think.

He finally shifts, holding your labia, almost squishing them, as he runs the bullets over them, until you're wriggling, spreading your legs, and they dip between them, finally focusing on your clit, knocking together. “Lucky fuckers,” he winks.

“Don't be jealous, Bren,” you tease back. “Wouldn't leave my bestest boy for a toy or two...”

“What about five of them?” he jokes.

You shake your head, “nuhuh. Never”ing. “Well, I'd take em as long as I still get you too...”

He slides fingertips over your cleft after gliding the egg sized bullet over you, gathering your wet to graze over your clit, asking “Do you know how wet you feel?”

Thanks to him. You nod, closing your legs some and wriggling. Hand reaching out for his, guiding it how it feels best, circles over your clit, and he catches on, leaving you free to stroke over his arms, chest, pull him closer. Fuck, you love kissing him... Rubbing over his back, all that soft skin. Closer still, getting his warmth on you. Hips swivelling subtly, gasping out faster or softer or like that... His lips on your neck, your hands in his hair, as you come, swearing, freezing up, panting... He knows you need it subtle again after you come, lightly gliding over your lips, massaging circles... Your hand feels blindly, finds the other cord, slides the slim one inside, and you can feel it shaking through your whole pussy now, subtler inside. His thumb circles gently over your clit as you slide the egg over your lower labia, letting sensation recenter... build in your glans as those bulbs underneath fucking ache for it deliciously, desperately. You start rocking into it as he circles faster, tilt just right, tensing, and you're coming again. “Motherfucker!”

“Potty mouth,” he scolds kindly. He's one to talk, you think, giving him a funny look. He slides the egg between your labia, around the rim, touching the two vibes. You turn it down and guide it back up, pressing softly into the left side. His hand stroking over your mound, pussy, thighs, hips, as he kisses over your breasts, warm softly sucking mouth and tongue on your nipples. “Rub all over...my pussy,” you gasp, and his palm covers you, circling, and you're coming again. You move the egg away, grind along him lightly, still swearing. “Inside...”

“One finger, y/n?”

“Mmmhmm...leave the vibe in...” You want him to feel it and you all around him. He easily slides inside your soaked, snug, full, welcoming pussy. Your whole pussy loves welcoming him home. The thought makes you smile. He comes home a lot. The porch, the doorway, the living room, the kitchen... Too busy needily moaning and begging to laugh. Not quite enough to come, but it feels too good to want to rush coming, or change his palm and finger and your pussy rocking together. You keep rolling, needing, needing, grabbing his shoulders, hair, blindly, face screwed up. “I need, Bren, please fuck me, I need, please, I--fuck--need, let me come, please let me come...”

“What does my baby need? My...mouth?...Another finger? Vibe?”

You grab his hand, press it to you, grind firmer, thighs squeezed around it, quickly crying out in frustration, pulling his palm away, grasping his thumb, circling the pad over your clit, light and quick as you rock back and forth.

“That's it, huh?” he murmurs as you pant, feeling your contractions, feeling your whole pussy pulse, flex, for him. Keeping up, and you're not stopping... not stopping... Your whole pussy, whole clitoris, throbbing for him, the contractions not stopping. Not a continual orgasm, but pretty close, unable to still, calling out for him with mouth and cunt, peaking another two times before you need a minute. Still crying out, but for him to soothe, gentle that needy, swollen mess of pleasure.

His thumb stroking over your labia, kissing you, over and over, free hand stroking your hair, massaging your scalp, your own hands running down and up his back and ass... pulling him to you, getting his thigh between yours, rocking nice and easy on him, welcoming his weight. Sweat, warmth, skin... Feeling sleepy, but he can totally coax you into more orgasms in a couple minutes, you bet.

“My sweet girl, my sexy, delicious, horny girl,” he whispers, kissing over your face, neck, half hard dick and balls warm and soft rubbing over your pelvis, mound. “Sleepy?” he teases.

“Eh, think I can keep goin' if you do most of the work,” you smile.

His thigh slides away and you pout but his hand finds you again, thumb stroking between your lips as his palm rests on your thigh and outer labia. Getting you even wetter before his finger slides in, pushing up and tapping the slow vibing bullet, pressing into your front wall, making your bladder feel full, a great way to make you crave more orgasms, dammit. Thumbing over your clit, then palming, then thumb, then palm, back to thumb and finally sticking with it as you grind, lazy and wanting.

“Oh, fuck, B...fuck...” Building, turning the vibe a bit higher, and he starts thrusting more than rocking and you moan out your “fuck yes” when he asks if you want another finger. Careful again, but fast, sliding in and out, rocking, curling his fingers to massage, according to your movements and instructions. So close... but you're getting kind of sore already. His other hand is sideways over your mound, thumb circling over your clit, and you're desperate again, shaking, bearing down, pushing, and you're coming, coming and peeing a little bit, and it's a nice, soothing orgasm, that doesn't satiate but is...lovely, still wanting. But... “Ouch, B...”

And he's sliding his fingers out slowly, rubbing over your mound, immediately apologizing, “Sorry, darlin, want the vibe out too? Just outside again?”

Seeing him suck your slick off the bullet turns you on even more as he raises his eyebrows, then grins cheekily.

“Kiss it better?” you ask slyly, waggling your eyebrows.

“Thought I was the cheeseball,” he giggles, wriggling down already. Making “mwah” sounds as he smooches over your mound, outer lips, inner, adding in some tender licks and sucks as he moves over your clit, still sore opening, then whole inner pussy, sometimes moaning soft into you. Your hands in his hair, stroking, lightly scratching. His wet hands massaging your hips and thighs. “My sweet girl...” Oh god, you had forgotten you...well...but whatever taste there was of that must be already licked away, so you let yourself relax back into his mouth, answering that he's your sweet boy. You didn't think you'd want to again yet, but you do...maybe you want another strong one, tilting your clit onto his tongue, trembling, tensing as he sweeps over it, circles, mouth sealed over you, sucking easy but rhythmically, and—“Oh god, ohfuckohfuckfuckme....yeah, like that....fuck.”

You slow, tugging his hair, and he goes lighter, but you want... so much squish... like... fuck, why can't he get his mouth and dick on your vulva at the same damn time? “B...the slim squishy one...where's the little fucker?”

“Which slim squishy little guy?”

“Not my fave one, the other one. You're slim but still more than an inch...” He rolls away, having to look a moment before finding the bag. He quickly opens it, finds the batteries, and you gather some of your slick as you pop open the lube, mixing them, sliding down his semi, cupping his package, getting it even slicker. Your favorite little guy, part of your even favoriter little guy.

You have an idea.

You keep stroking him lightly, flinging your legs open, tilting up. "Gonna slide it in?" you tease, so glad he likes teases. He slides the purple, rippled, and most importantly squishy and slim vibe in. He turns the base slowly until you sigh “that's good.” You squeeze down and relax repeatedly, fast at first, then slower. It's actually squishy. You switch between his hips, thighs, pelvis, dick and balls, petting blindly after your eyes close. He kisses soft over your face, neck, chest, sometimes rocking the toy, nudging your cervix, sometimes slipping it in and out, slow and easy, then stilling, sometimes slipping it out, length between your labia, up and down or all over, same with the tip over your clit, sliding it back in before you get too close to coming. Two can play at that, you think, petting over his belly, breasts, lips, back down, sometimes stroking over his back and bum, between his cheeks, only occasionally going to his dick. Once you feel yourself slip into relaxation, then into a still soothed building arousal, one hand leaves him to find your clit, circling, other hand loosely wrapping around him as he rocks a bit into your grip. Loose and teasy so he doesn't get too hard. "Hey B...gonna let me use yours too?" He's not much more than half hard, and fuck you want it rubbing over you.

He grins against your neck, up for whatever you have in mind, and you wrap him in your arms to bring him close, and you love that he knows you want his dick in all sorts of states. If anything, a semi feels even better. "Where should I go?" "Let's try...on top of me...wanna slide you all over me." You stroke over his balls as he settles over you, letting his tip brush over your mound as you kiss him, then hold him so you can run his silky soft but firm tip over your lips, down to where the vibe is sticking out, back up, rocking against him already.

"Can you feel it? The vibrations?"

"Can feel you more, y/n, fuck...so wet...puffy too."

You slide him over the middle lightly, getting more wetness over him, jerking him as you press him to your clit, hoping his head can feel you all over as you slide him up and down, then in a circle around your pussy.

"Know you like it too..." Your free hand finds the bullets, wrangles with the cords till you've got the controller, turns them back on, but low. You slide the slim one between you, getting it all wet again before rubbing it between his tip and your clit. He gasp-moans so dirty, arms shaking from it and holding himself up once you turn it higher, press firmer on him. Fuck you love watching his face, so fucking gorgeous. And people thought his o-faces on stage were as good as he could look, all debauched, blissful, happy, flushed... This is even better. And his noises, trembling, feeling his pulse and heat and silken skin and fuck... If you got his frenulum just right and held it, he wouldn't be able to hold himself up, would come, you bet. Before this, you'd used your only vibrator together, a single bullet vibe. He is such a curious, horny boy you quickly learned he liked it too, if he was wet enough and you teased his head, especially the underside, with a firmer pressure than you usually needed. Also on his balls, perineum, the first inch or so below his tip. Fuck, you don't know whether you want him to come really soon, or get you off with the toys and his dick a couple times first. You circle the bullet and his tip over you quicker, still rhythmic. “Oh, god, B, fuck...” You roll you both over onto your sides, leg over his hip, rocking along him too, wanting to bear down, tensing, but...not quite. The toy is squishy, but it's been in a little too long, and it's getting in the way: you want to feel your boy more and you think it'd be better if you could squeeze down more... “Take—oh fuck—take—please? Like...I can't...”

“Shh, got you, y/n...” he whispers, shifting to reach between you. “Done with this one?” You nod, and he's easing it out of you. You are desperate at the break in stimulation, break from him on you, forehead finding his neck, bringing him closer, clenching down, needing, rolling on top of him, pining him, grinding on him messily, dimly aware the bullet is between your bellies—the feeling makes you chuckle, getting upright, dizzy, the shift pressing his balls and base to your lower vulva, to those aching bulbs, the ridge of his head just brushing your clit and you grind, and grind, and fuck—“Oh, please, oh fuck, oh fuck...” turning to wordless cries as you come, everything pounding and bursting. Oh god, more pee. But you need. You lean forward, press to him, kiss his lips, jaw, neck, back to those luscious lips, hands in his hair... His arms wrap around you, then stroke over your back and ass, then find your hair, muffling your moans with his kisses. You need to stay close, close... You rock faster, firmer, pressing hard into him, the fact he's hard, not rock hard, but...deliciously hard, doing the rest, you both giving you all that pressure you need over your whole aching, convulsing pussy. You're still moving against him as you come down from another orgasm, slow, needy, but fuck. You can't... Achy, still calling out for him, but... fuck. Everything so wet between you. You flush even more, wonder if he knows you're still embarrassed by it, especially given the whimpering he's doing, rocking gently into you, trying not to, both of you pulsing.

“Fuck, babe, so fucking...fuck.” Voice thick, cutting of into a whimper-moan. Your sexy boy. You nuzzle over his neck, suck, making him gasp, and you grind into him.

Your baby did such a good job holding on for you, letting you use his dick, trying not to come... “Jesus, B...fuck...my sweet boy gonna come for me?” He doesn't rock harder or faster, but you tug his hair, suck a bit harder on his neck, rock over his dick and balls firmly, and he moans so much, desperate, throbbing, then spurting over both your pelvises and lower bellies.

You'll both need a shower. Multiple fluids messing up you two and the sheets. Thank fuck for plastic sheets. You keep rubbing along him as he softens, hoping it's not too much. It is. “Christ...could...gonna rub on my thigh?”

He pets over your pussy, outer lips, and you get distracted asking him to massage with his thumb gently over your achy parts. Spoiler: that's pretty much your whole snatch. He swaps it out for his thigh and that lets you squish him more, kissing over his sweaty angel boy face. You roll over, him on top, getting the vibe from under you to turn it off, then wrap around him. You gasp, feeling a little shame even now, as he licks his hand off.

“Don't be embarrassed, y/n... It's ok, more than ok...” You believe him, know that he's not grossed out. But it's not supposed to be that, if something like that happens—oh fuck it. And fuck his thigh.

You probably won't be trying to come for a while, might not come again... we'll say until after you get a proper meal in you, but... even if your pussy goes “nope, and hell nope” to more orgasms, she sure ain't saying no to B's thighs. Or anywhere else she can rub softly on.

“Shower, Bren?”

He nods. “As long as someone keeps humping me...”

"Who is this someone? Another elf?”

“Didn't know you wanted Jake to join us,” he giggles as you both get up, shaky.

“Both Jakes?” you say eagerly, smooching him.

“One for each of us, or are we sharing all around?” he asks. Both of you glad your apartment is an apartment: no stairs.

“All around...” The elder Jake wouldn't actually since Kate, but the younger...

You caress over his front, smooching his shoulders and neck, as he turns the shower on and he spins around, kissing and enwrapping you. You grabs his hips, backing him into the sink, rocking on his thigh, and his eyes flicker shut. Fuck... One hand moving to his ass... “Gonna turn around for me, baby?” He “hell yes”es as he does. Leaning over the sink, legs spreading some as press to him, aligning your mound to his bum. His face in the mirror as he looks at you, both slick from the oils and everything else, his eyes slipping shut as you grind into him. Pulling him up with arms hooked under him, fingers over his shoulders, to mouth over them, wanting him so much, stroking over his still flushed torso... “Always my lovely boy, B...”

You register the hot water still running, steaming up the bathroom. Luckily, you can hump a bit more in the shower. Then again when you get out, laying him out on his belly, straddling and rocking on him. Maybe your pussy won't say no to more orgasms for very long, because all of you sure is saying yes to more of this...

#all i want for christmas is you #my fic masterpost #brendon urie fanfic #brendon urie smut #brendon urie imagine

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thatgryffinwhore · 6 years

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My Personal Voltron Season 7 Review

Okay, so I’m seeing a lot of S7 hate and love on here, and I have some opinions of my own, so let’s talk…

(Just so you know, none of my opinions are influenced by which ships did or didn’t get their moment.)

THE BADS:

• First off, I hated the game show episode. Hated it. The only part I liked was the end where they all voted for who should get to leave and gave reasons for it, but then they just cut through a good moment with Keith’s reasoning for picking Lance. Like, totally threw his character development out the window for a jab at Lance, which, ha ha, makes an audience of ten-year-olds laugh I guess. But for older and long-time fans of the show, it just fell short of anything good. The whole episode was full of Lance jabs, too. And Lance has been developing as a character, so I don’t think that was very fair. Here, it’s like the one-sided rivalry all the way back from S1 is back, but this time Keith, the leader, is the petty one. I just really didn’t like that episode. Overall, they were barely in character, character development was completely ignored, and it did not move the plot along What So Ever. Filler episodes were cute in earlier seasons, but this season is the penultimate. There’s sooo many more filler options that could’ve maintained the tone of the season while still being funny and light-hearted.

• Too many new characters. I feel like the writers are digging themselves in a hole here. Don’t get me wrong, I like Romelle, but she’s just… there. In the background. The only scenes where she’s given any screen time are comedic ones, which is great, but she’s just tagging along and the loss of hER ENTIRE CIVILIZATION AND HER BROTHER DYING IN HER ARMS Is never acknowledged. I would’ve liked to have seen a bonding moment between Allura and Romelle, maybe even with Coran. Hell, they could’ve made THAT the filler episode. Aside from Romelle, I feel like they did a good job with Krolia’s character and her bond with Keith, but they haven’t really given us a reason as to why she’s there. What’s her purpose? Too much screen time with too little impact on the plot, in my opinion. Don’t get me started on Acxa. No point. Literally no point. I seriously hope that the writers have plans for her in S8 other than Keith’s love interest. Characters don’t have to fall in love to get closure, but it seems like that might be the “closure” route they’re heading to with Keith and it scares me. It’s such a forced relationship. I don’t mind Keith getting with a girl but shit, at least put him with someone the audience can connect with. A blade member that he fought side-by-side with or something, not “I’m so sorry for being on an evil team, I’m different now” and “don’t you remember how she never wanted to kill him uwu” ugh. Please stop. And I like Griffin’s team, a lot, but I’m not sure what the purpose is of introducing a group of characters with main-character potential with only one season left. Maybe it’s a surprise, or maybe they just did it so the audience could be better invested in the flashbacks about what happened to Earth.

• The??? Fucking getting lost in space??? How? Like, I sort of understand the purpose: Keith’s been separated from the team for a while, and they need to re-establish their bond. However, it seems like Keith’s character development has been ignored again, and he’s reverted back to S1 Keith, which is really annoying. I was rolling my eyes the whole time. Like, I get it, they’re going a little space-crazy, and they’re gonna turn on each other a bit. But it’s like the writers forgot that they aren’t in S1 and S2 anymore, or at least that’s how it felt to me. Angsty Keith, *yawn* been there, done that. He’s an adult now. And their leader. They could’ve gone about re-forging the paladins’ bonds another way. Not to mention, the time-lighting thing was never explained, never made any sense. Oh! And guess what else was ignored? The characters figured out a long freakin time ago that they could call out to their lions for help, did they just forget?

• Shiro and Keith practically don’t interact throughout the entire season, besides ep 1. Again, I kind of get it. They dedicated an entire episode to their bond, last season and this one. I’m not looking for more proof of their bond, but they need to talk about Shiro being dead, Keith fighting his clone, and Keith willingly falling to his death with Shiro. They’ve both got to be traumatized on some level, and it’s not even acknowledged. Like, what are the writers afraid of? Are they afraid that the Sheith shippers will get their hopes up? Are they afraid Klance shippers will get mad? Are they afraid people will get bored of Shiro and Keith interacting? Did they just not have enough time to address it (*cough* game show episode *cough*)? Like, regardless of the reasoning, a lot of shit happened between the two that needs to be talked about. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter if the writers intend for them to be like brothers or best friends or something more, that kind of stuff needs closure. Shiro probably has nightmares about dying/being dead and trying to kill his team. Keith probably has flashbacks of the first person other than his dead father to care about him trying to murder him and saying he should’ve abandoned him. Writers, please, even a thirty second conversation would suffice if it’s done well. They at least need a

“I’m sorry I tried to kill you, Keith.”

“It wasn’t you, Shiro. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were dead.”

“It’s okay, you saved me from that darkness. I thought I was going to be there forever.”

Then they hug and go on their ways. That’s it! That’s the bare minimum. That would’ve sufficed. Shiro’s obviously got some heavy inner monologue, why push it off to S8 or ignore it completely?

• And for my last bad, we have: killing Adam. This isn’t about shipping; I really didn’t care if Shiro and Adam got back together or not. But they deserved closure. Shiro deserves closure. I know Shiro’s the “stoic leader” but he has feelings, and the writers just keep making bad shit happen to him and never address how it’s affected him. Listen, Shiro is an LGBT+ rep regardless of whether he’s in a relationship, as long as he isn’t killed off. But give him some depth. The closest thing to that we’ve gotten so far is knowing that he (used to have?) muscular dystrophy, and seeing his memories of Keith. Other than that, where’s his backstory? His reason for joining the Garrison? His family? How his adventures have affected him mentally? Adam could’ve been the window to all of that, but they killed off an opportunity. If they wanted to highlight the loss of war, they could’ve killed one of Lance’s many family members, or one of Hunk’s; but Adam, as far as we know, was all Shiro had to come back to. He was the only way that they could’ve taken Shiro and made him into a more complex character. Besides that, I don’t think it’s right that they had us anticipating meeting this queer character for nearly an entire season before revealing he’d died. It’s not as bad as when some shows kill off queers, but still… I hope they give Shiro a romantic interest in someone else; queer representation includes healthy queer relationships and happy endings.

Overall for the bads, in my opinion, this is the gist of it: Character development was ignored at times. Some of the writing was lazy. Too many characters/plot point, too little time. Not addressing major issues with characters. And… queerbaiting. You don’t have to agree, but this is my opinion on queerbaiting: it isn’t black and white. Sometimes it’s terrible, sometimes it’s just a little annoying. Voltron killed off a queer character, but he wasn’t a main, and he wasn’t the only queer, and we didn’t know him. On the other hand, he was the only other (confirmed) queer character’s love interest. On a queerbaiting scale of 1-10, I’d call it a 5. Like I said, it’s partly redeemable if they give Shiro another male love interest.

THE GOODS:

• Shiro’s flashbacks of Keith. We’ve been seeing since S1 how much Keith cares about Shiro, and now we finally get a glimpse of Shiro caring about Keith. The “we saved each other” line. The flashbacks paired with Keith’s desperation really cemented that bond that they started showing us in S6, and little Keith was adorable. It was also important to get a little more background on Keith, it tied up all the loose ends from Keith and Krolia’s time in the quantum abyss. Also in ep 1, the humor was top-notch. The writers managed to make comedy out of a dire situation for the paladins, and Romelle seemed to fit in very well! And I find it impressive that shifting back and forth between the funny, light-hearted adventure of the others and the solemn, tense situation in the Black Lion didn’t kill the mood of either plot line. It will come as no surprise to you that ep 1 was my favorite of the season; probably one of my favorites in the series.

• Having Krolia separate from the team. Don’t get me wrong, I love Krolia. She’s a great mom and her relationship with Keith was written perfectly; it checked all the boxes for my hopes when Keith finally met his mother. But she was older and more mature than the paladins; she didn’t fit in. In her heart, she’s a member of the Blade, and she knows she’s more useful to the cause as a spy and fighting alongside Kolivan. I’m glad that they didn’t undercut my love for Krolia by having her awkwardly tagging along. And the writers kicked fragile masculinity’s ass with the goodbye scene between Keith and Krolia. The soft smiles, the “I love you”s, the hugs, and KeiTH GIVING HER HIS BLADE THAT HES HAD SINCE HE WAS A BABY BECAUSE HE KNEW HED SEE HER AGAin those were all wonderful. Everything about the mother/son relationship between Keith and Krolia, from the moment they met to the moment they said goodbye, was perfectly executed. They took their time with it. Kudos to the writers for that.

• Character development. Barring everything I said in the ‘BADS’ because I don’t want to be repetitive, the character development in S7 was phenomenal. We have Lance taking on more leadership responsibilities, stepping up, protecting people he cares about at the risk of his own life, and respecting Keith as the team leader. In this season, I’ve grown to respect Lance a lot (ha) more. And we finally get some background on Hunk, we see him missing his family and home, we see him crying, being frustrated about it. We see him opening up to Keith. Keith, of all people (maybe Keith was the only one who asked). Either way, I love the depth they gave Hunk, and I love the acknowledgement of Keith and Hunk’s friendship, especially after that lost in space scene. And Keith’s character development, omg. It was the best. He was a leader before, but now, he could give Shiro a run for his money. Maybe he already did. The team respects him unhesitatingly. He leads them out of every life-or-death situation on top. He helps them forge a closer bond with their lions than they’ve ever had before, on more than one occasion. And he does something that’s really hard for him, which is asking someone else (Hunk) to open up to him. He offers to listen to his teammate’s worries. His fighting (mostly hand-to-hand combat) skills are clearly the best we’ve seen in the show, right on the same level with Shiro. When he killed that Druid without seeing him I was like 😯, and when hE LAUNCHED OUT AN AIRBORNE LION AND SLICED THROUGH SENDAK LIKE HE WAS NOTHING BECAUSE SHIRO WAS IN DANGER I Was like 😲!!!

• The animation was outstanding. I know the poor animators were busting their asses, especially during those last few episodes. It’s got to be the best animation I’ve seen in the show so far (besides the ‘The Black Paladins’ animation in S6, it sent me into another dimension). In fact, VLD has some of the best animation I’ve ever seen in shows of its kind, and that’s saying something. Those fight scenes get you so immersed, and they’re like a visual orgasm.

• This one is more opinion than anything else, so I’ll keep it short, but I love how they showed the fighting spirit of Earth. How humanity never gives in. I think that’s part of why everyone enjoyed those flashback episodes of Earth so much; the audience felt they could relate to those people, and they felt proud to call themselves human. In the show, while interrogating Sendak’s memories, they asked, “What do you do if a planet refuses to give up?” (Referring to Earth). And Sendak basically says, “We destroy it, but the only planet who’s ever refused to give up is Altea.” And I. Love. That. Time and time again, we’ve been shown how smart and powerful the Alteans were, and now we’re being compared to them. I love the overall way that the writers handled the paladins’ return to Earth. I love the paladins’ interactions with Griffin’s team, I love the Alteans integrating easily with humans, I love humanity’s resilience being showcased, I love the reunions, I love Keith’s interaction with Iverson, and, most of all (some people won’t agree with me on this), I love that humans already knew about aliens and the Galra when Voltron returned. I would have dreaded them having to go through quarantine, and being called crazy, and having to fight against the Garrison, and whatnot. I just love how most of the last few episodes were handled; it was mostly the middle of the season that I had issues with.

Overall for the goods: I liked getting a little insight into how much Shiro cares for Keith. I liked ep 1 a lot. I liked how well they handled everything about Krolia. I liked the character development and background that we FINALLY get throughout the season. The amazing animation. Enough said. And the way the writers wrote Earth, in the flashbacks and in the present.

Overall for the season: I don’t think it completely tanked. I think too much of people’s opinions are based on ships, but I agree that this was not the best season, and it fell short in a lot of areas. It was a little disappointing, but not un-redeemable, and I think everyone who’s saying “fuck Voltron” and swearing to never watch it again is a bit ridiculous and childish, tbh. Disagree if you want, but that’s my opinion and last I checked, I was allowed to have one.

Alright, let me know if I left anything out! Feel free to add anything or share your opinion, even if it’s negative, I want to know your thoughts!

#voltron spoilers #vld spoilers #voltron #vld #voltron: legendary defender #voltron season 7 #voltron season 7 review

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gutsngrace · 6 years

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For @ain-t-bovvered ‘s #talesofthewinchesters. I had sooo much fun doing this. It’s not from any particular season, though I was drawing heavily on early supernatural vibes.

Summary: There’s a place, at the crossroads of Nowhere and Everywhere, that the Winchesters are known as a legend.

There’s a truck stop just off of I-80, a transitory town that is nothing but a gas station, a motel, a diner, and a pair of bathrooms. It’s a kind of purgatory, a meaningless landmark denoting the distance across Nebraska. Fields stretch in every direction for miles, a kind of sea that gives rise to madness. It’s a place you are either sentenced to or flee to when there is nothing left. The nameless little blip is only known as a mild grimace among truckers.

In this little nameless place, there’s an equally nameless diner that knows it will amount to nothing but a hot meal. At the Formica tables and red leather bar stools, truckers trade stories to swear they’re alive as time itself seems to slow and take a seat beside them. Usually it’s little things they talk about, like family, tourist attractions, traffic horror stories. But sometimes, when the hour gets late and even conversations pass by on the highway without bothering to be had, the horror stories are real.

Truckers, unlike most, know that it’s not such a small world. Know that there are too many miles between stops, too many miles of forests and fields and shadows for mankind to know their self proclaimed fish bowl. It’s what hunted things say to sleep at night. No, they’ve seen too much, seen things run alongside them and disappear. They’ve seen too little too, which is almost worse. There’s no reason for the world to be that still, not unless it’s holding its breath.

It’s one of these nights, clinging to the diner’s bar like a life raft in the sea of fields, that a trucker tells the story. There’s a glass of water in his white-knuckled grip that says he’s not drunk, and a haunted look that says he’s not crazy. It’s for these reasons he’s got an audience, tonight.

Bad Moon Rising plays quietly on the jukebox, the tune unnervingly upbeat for what is being told.

The man tells of a truck stop he had the misfortune of touching down in a few years back. Week after week, a truck or two wouldn’t finish it’s trip, left abandoned in the parking lot. The drivers were never contacted about the issue, because they never showed up again. He only learned as much sitting at a diner like the one he sits at now, the wide eyed waitress murmuring under her breath.

Fear had settled cold in his bones when he pushed out of the diner door to retrieve his duffel from his truck. All his senses were on high alert as he walked between the dark, eerie rows of nearly identical semis. It’s the only reason he heard anything at all. Duffel in hand, he heard footsteps behind him, trailing him almost silently. When he turned, it was only one of the usual prostitutes that hung around the stops like a sweet smell, leaning against one of the trucks. He watched as she pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep drag away from interested eyes. He couldn’t help but think those eight inch stilettos should have made more noise.

When he turned the corner, another trucker passed him and into the waiting dark. A few seconds later, barely audible, is an inhuman growl, a grunt, then the dragging of limp feet across the asphalt. In that dark parking lot, the world is surreal. It made it easy to turn away and walk fast to his motel room, bolting it shut with a chair propped under the handle for good measure. Not that it would stop whatever made that noise, but perhaps it would let it turn to easier prey.

He slept uneasily, the back of his mind a continuous, wordless alarm going off, screaming of danger.

Sometime around midnight, he was awoken by the loud grumble of an engine and the sweep of lights through his window. Stumbling to pull the sheer curtains back, he saw something, well, out of place in the little crossroad of Nowhere and Everywhere.

The night went still as the lights of the car turned off. Nothing moved, not even its occupants. The car was a beast of a machine, an old American muscle car that filled the parking space and then some. The black finish caught the dim, distant light as it crouched in the dark like a massive predator, the growl of its engine silenced as it lurked. The night knew it for what it was; there were no crickets, no wind, no movement. Only the large shape, sitting in the lot like the malevolent shadow in a vague nightmare, the kind of dream that seemed like a bad omen in the morning.

The doors opened, releasing two large men, broad shouldered and tall. It was then he realized that the car wasn’t the predator. It was these men that carried danger in their gait as they walked to the back of the car. There was no swagger, only the steely confidence of two men on a mission that God could not keep them from, all strength in the moonlight like a blade leaving its sheath.

He watched as the men each pulled a gun and a blade from the trunk, breath caught in his throat. A day ago, he would have wondered why they had them. But hiding in his room from whatever stalked the rows of trucks, he knew. These men were something more dangerous than whatever was out there, and he should be thanking his lucky stars they were here for it and not him.

They prowled into the dark, guns raised, and he lost sight of them.

Sometime later, he heard a single gunshot.

Morning came, his sleep oddly restful. Convinced it was a nightmare, he picked up breakfast at the diner.

A stack of pancakes and a plate of toast with raspberry jam, he’ll never forget. Glancing around the room lazily as he reached for the syrup, he saw him. The trucker that walked past him last night and into that thing’s hunting grounds. As if feeling his eyes on him, the man turned to meet his gaze. His eyes were flat, like a body floating on shallow water. As if he had seen something he should have never seen and would never forget. There was something damning in his eyes as well; he recognized him, too. Recognized the man who let him walk to his death.

But he wasn’t dead. No, just his eyes. Though the two, almost toothlike punctures on his neck said it was a close call.

He must be overthinking it. The man must have had strange birthmarks or had an odd accident, and just felt the trucker staring at him. That’s what he told himself when he climbed up into his truck. But when he pulled the truck out of its spot and towards the endless road, away from this hallucinatory nightmare of a town, he saw it. The car.

In the daylight, it’s cheery. The black and chrome gleam in the morning sun, clearly loved and polished by it’s owner. Now he can see the Chevy insignia, a 1967 Impala. An odd thing, he thought again, for a truck stop.

A week later, out of morbid curiosity, he checked the online obituary for the little podunk town. No more disappearnces, not since that big black Impala roared into the parking lot.

When the trucker finishes his tale, the diner is quiet. The story is a little too close to home, a little too believable. Everyone has seen something, usually an unnameable, fleeting shadow. Sometimes worse. It leaves the thin air unsteady. The story is a comfort and a nightmare; there are two men looking out for them, hunting what goes bump in the night, yes. But there is, for certain, rattling the chains. And so, they are rattled. There’s another world out there, layered on top of the one they know, where men can kill monsters, where the two men are the apex predators of the things that kill people like them.

A month passed by that little piece of nowhere at seventy miles per hour on the freeway. A month before someone goes missing from the little Nebraska truck stop. A month and a half and six more disappearances before, as sure as rain, there’s an approaching growl on the expressway. It announces itself from miles away. By the time the monstrous black Impala pulls into the parking lot, the waitress is waiting for them, waiting to see just what these two men are.

The doors open and slam shut, followed by the sound of bells over the diner door.

“-said they have the best burgers. And dammit, if Death tells me they’ve got good burgers, well, I’m inclined to believe it,” the first says, easy confidence in his bowlegged gait. He’s six foot, at least, and as massive as the trucker said. But he doesn’t seem dangerous, now now, but he’s oddly at ease in the middle of nowhere, steady on their transitory ground.

An impossibly taller one rolls his eyes in the way that only brothers do, following a step behind in deference to the man that has to be his older brother. “He’s also immune to cholesterol, Dean. Unlike you, he’s not in imminent danger of heart disease.”

The first, Dean, slumps onto the bar stool. “Sam, if I die from a burger-induced heart attack, I win,” he says before turning his gaze to the waitress. “I hope the coffee is as hot as you are, because damn, am I thirsty.”

The taller one, Sam, rolls his eyes again and groans this time, but says nothing.

For a long second, the waitress stares. These men are the two beings worse than monsters? The shadow in the corner of a monster’s bedroom?

After a long moment, her cheeks warm as she realizes she’s been staring. “Sorry,” she mumbles, pouring two cups of coffee and sliding them across the laminate.

“Not exactly a problem,” Dean says, only to be elbowed in the ribs by Sam.

“Isn’t it a bit early for that, Dean?” he chastised before turning to the waitress. “Thanks for the coffee.”

On a whim, the waitress offers to take the night shift. Just to see. That, and she’s fairly convinced she won’t be able to sleep tonight. Not when she knew why they were here.

The crowd tapers off to catch some shut eye before another long day of driving. Fight the Good Fight plays on the jukebox, too loud in the empty space. The diner is a vacuum and a speaker, swallowing conversations and amplifying the scrapes of forks and the shifting of feet. Waiting. Everything here is always waiting. The waitress waits, waits for what, she doesn’t know. She’ll know when it happens.

At two twenty-six a.m., it happens. The sound of a gunshot, then another. The bloodcurdling scream of something dying in a way that befits a monster.

Two minutes later, out the window, two hulking, six foot figures prowl out of the dark. They are not quite human now, not the people who walked into the diner. They are something otherwordly, now. And while the waitress recognizes the shape of the, knows it’s Sam and Dean, she doesn’t recognize the shape being dragged behind them in barely held together parts. Whatever it is is tossed in the trunk with the long outlines of shotguns, and the trunk is slammed shut.

Anyone else would call the police. she doesn’t technically know what they’ve killed. But if that trucker was right- and she can feel he was- she doesn’t want to know.

The two men- brothers, she thinks- slap each other well done on the back. It’s a startlingly normal gesture, and just like that, the aura of danger is broken. The engine starts up in a roar, and they’re gone, as quickly as they came.

The disappearances stop.

And so it’s carried across the country, travelling through a web it’s unlikely to leave, left forgotten in the late hours in cracked leather booths at equally forgettable diners. Sam. Dean. An old Impala. A bad omen and a saving grace in one, the rising tide that sweeps the beach smooth, leaving broken shells and bodies in its wake.

Five hundred miles away, the hunters introduce themselves as FBI agents Plant and Bonham to Linda Steininger, the wife of a trucker who is away from home, telling the story of a black Impala under distant fluorescent diner lights.

Her husband has a penchant for telling stories. With a life as monotonous as his, he takes the time to make up a story by the time he returns home. But the Impala parked out front is evidence to his story, this time. But that isn’t the deciding factor. It’s the look in their eyes, something comforting and chilling. It’s intent and ominous, their eyes alone giving away the ticking of the clock in the back of their heads until the next victim. It’s the cold calculation, trying to figure out just what it is they’re hunting. And in the end, it’s the ease. No one asks about dismembered bodies in the house next door like it’s routine. Because they know it’s not some down to earth psychotic. It’s something worse and beyond earth, and that’s what they kill best.

“Thank you for your service,” she says as they turn for the Impala. “I hope you kill the monster that did this.” And if she’s just a little too serious, a little too knowing, well. She’s heard of Sam and Dean, the men that monsters fear. And she’s glad they’re out there.

#spn #spn fanfic #talesofthewinchesters #my writing #goodbye friends i am gone #ain-t-bovvered

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