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babsaros · 23 days

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hey. when cis society is oppressing a trans man, what he is experiencing is. In Fact. misogyny. i'm sorry i know none of us like to be reminded of our agab, and it hurts whenever people perceive you as the wrong gender. but a cis person hate-criming, assaulting, verbally abusing, etc, a trans man is not doing "transandrophobia" because they do not perceive him as a man.

they perceive him as a woman failing at her gender, as a woman who has been seduced and lied to and manipulated because women are so easily led astray, just like it says in the bible. they perceive him as a woman who has been mutilated. they perceive him as a dyke that needs to be fixed. if they are hate-criming him because they *do* perceive him as a man, because he passes well enough they aren't thinking he could be trans, then they're doing so out of homophobia, perceiving him as a gay man, a pervert, a sissy, a danger to children. OR, they are being transphobic but specifically because they think he might be transfeminine instead. when cis society oppresses a trans woman, they are able to do it on multiple levels at once. She's a woman failing at her gender, a dyke that needs to be fixed. Or she's an evil and grotesque crossdressing pervert, a rude caricature, a danger to polite society. she will never be doing enough to escape oppression entirely, no matter if she gets every surgery she can and wears makeup every day and passes perfectly, because she lives under a patriarchy, and she's a woman, so she lives in a panopticon, and HAVING to get surgery and wear make-up to be respected IS oppression, especially if the alternative is being hate-crimed.

trans women (and trans men who pass) are not experiencing "transandrophobia" when a 'queer women and nbs" event turns them away at the door for being too masculine. they are. IN FACT!! experiencing the byproducts of misogyny in a patriarchy!!! where the terfs and coward cis women running those events and occupying those spaces have been taught (sometimes through experience, sometimes by men, sometimes by women) throughout life that men = stronger and more dangerous than women ALWAYS. That they need to protect themselves at all times and always be vigilant. That men and women can't be friends without sexual tension (and so as queer women the mere existence of what they perceive as a "man" is a threat). That women need a separate sports league because they can't possibly compete with someone who has even a little bit "extra" (an unquantifiable amount actually because there isn't a standard range) testosterone. That women should cook and men should fix cars. i promise you, i promise i promise i promise. it's misogyny. like!!! you don't say cis gay men experiences "androphobia", bc that's not a thing!! you sound like fucking mens rights activists guys please! you don't say a black man experiences "misandrynoir"!! because living in a patriarchy fundamentally means men do not experience oppression based on their gender. its not happening. shut the fuck up. stop walking us back to 2014 can we please take a step forward and stop bitching about this. there are genuine issues in the world and i'm frankly sick of people who should be smarter than that needing to be gently hand-held through this fucking explanation for the millionth time and still stomping their feet.

#cw transmisogyny #cw discourse #cw transphobia #longterm tme mutual pissed me the fuck off bye #everybody else gets to read this now #if you still don't get it idk maybe go stick your head down a toilet and flush #that might help #its so fucking simple stop drinking terf koolaid #if u are transmasc and have experienced transphobia i'm really sorry that happened to you.#and if calling it 'transandrophobia' makes u feel less dysphoric then whatever fine #but its not like. a systemic issue.#pls understand that #transmisogyny is a systemic issue we should be talking about. because misogyny is a systemic problem we have not yet solved.#i hope i never have to talk about this again #lmk if i should tag it as anything else #or if i've worded anything in a way that should be corrected

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rttenboy · 2 months

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im baffled about how so many people are suddenly shitting on transmascs for having the audacity to label our discrimination and making fun of terms like transandophobia and mocking us for talking about transmasc-specific issues and discrimination (which is a documented thing! and we have different factors intersect with our oppression than tma folks have intersecting with transmisogyny! and NOONE is saying that transandrophobia existing makes it worse than transmisogyny either!)

like what do you want us to do? are we just supposed to shut up and take it because us being afab means our problems are "lesser"? are we supposed to say that every other trans person has it worse so we can't talk about it anymore? what is the proposed solution here? mocking transmascs and harassing them and sending horrific anons to them isn't exactly a solid answer.

i genuinely truly don't understand why people are so upset about this and why it's such a big deal for us to label our experiences and talk about it when everyone was falling all over themselves to adopt new phrases when the terms transmisogyny and tma/tme started gaining traction. it's gross and weird. we're all siblings in the same fight here, infighting is pointless and a waste of energy. why are we trying to to beat each other down when this energy would be, y'know, actually progressive punching up and fighting the oppressive structures CAUSING these issues instead?

#this isn't the oppression olympics!!!!! y'all are acting likw fucking children #this is the kind of discourse i wouldve expected on here 10 years ago #and i genuinely do not understand why so many people are SO passionate about this and refuse to explain why?#like genuinely. autistically. if it's legitimately actively actually harmful i wanna know #but noone has any compelling arguments besides ''silly girl doesn't understand opwession uwu''#i've seen people call transmascs princess and talk about SAing them over this bullshit #do none of you see what you're doing? do none of you care how you sound?#i need to purge my following list tbqh #this is ridiculous #rant #transandrophobia #transandrophobia cw #discourse #ask to tag #be fucking normal about this post please im actually confused and not trying to start a fight

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mysicklove · 2 months

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sigh, me and my big mouth got me in trouble again.

#🔪 - mello talks too much #cw discourse #i’m in the call out post BUT i commented as a joke not knowing anything about the situation #i thought it was another anti-aging up call out post that i have experienced. so i commented ”DRAMA?” as a silly joke thinking it #was something completely different....they were not talking about the anti-aging up call out posts....#i just followed that account like less than a week ago #I DONT KNOW THESE PPL 😔😔😔😔😔😔#i always like remain neutral on situations (hold opinions to myself) but bc i comment on everything i see i got involved on accident #i’m just going to block all of the accounts that are associated with the post bc i cant mentally deal with this rn LOL #or should i apologize? but i also feel like i didn’t do anything wrong #except for not being aware of my surroundings #between the minors contacting me and now me getting myself dragged into a callout post (OF PPL I DONT EVEN KNOW) tumblr is roasting me toda #everyone needs to gag me and tie my hands behind my back so i don’t accidentally enter things that i don’t mean to enter #if i need to do an apology post just let me know

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unboundpower · 2 months

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so why do (a lot of) vegebul fans think bulma's racism towards the saiyans is queen shit or endearing again

#/ im so curious to know \#/ she calls them ''alien monsters'' in this very scene too btw \#/ also also. she calls vegeta a ''thickheaded ape'' in z's anime so. this behavior from her isnt new \#ooc.#discourse cw

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blogalreadydoesntexist · 8 months

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lesbians/fem bisexuals/etc etc girl girl likers who dont count trans women are so funny because youll open up their page to block them and BOOM purple lesser known nazi symbol or 'gender identities are dense' is their title but they have an infinity train, nimona, or steven universe pfp.

You hate yourself and got some internalized shit or what?

just as a side note, because ive seen a couple saying to go vote for him to get 'rid' of trans people, nazis didnt kill just jewish people, and neither will desantis kill just trans people.

We're all gonna be dead eventually if we don't stand up and you dont stop being such a fucking pussy, the leopards will never starve, and you will always have a face <3

Gay and trans people are in the same inflatable boat, and gay transphobes/homophobes and trans homophobes/transphobes are hammering nails and wood through it to fix it.

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aro-culture-is · 2 years

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Fandom aro culture is finding some really cool art and be like "Damn! That's some really cool ar- oh, nvm. It's a gross ship..."

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #fandom aro culture #shipping cw #*squints*#this better be about fictional romance repulsion #and not the type of shipping drama banned in my rules #if i have gathered anything from being online it's that there are zero ships that ppl won't find some way to call it gross or toxic #and i would like to not spend a week clearing out discourse that doesn't even involve me but rather anons fighting each other #from the 600+ submissions in the inbox #or the inevitable wave of transphobic so-called feminists that typically lurks behind that stuff #fun and terrible fact! some posts on this blog have led to me having to block over 500 t/e/r/f blogs in order to keep them from #flooding the inbox at best and harassing all of us at worst

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susiephone · 8 months

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so the ancient magus' bride just did a hard left into antisemitic tropes in vol3 huh.

#the ancient magus' bride #the ancient magus' bride discourse #look i don't know if the author meant anything by it or realizes what a loaded concept the whole thing is #but like. don't. don't call your immortal serial killer antagonist the wandering jew. don't do that.#yes i know it's a very old legend but the legend (surprise surprise) is antisemitic #like i was warned about the weird/problematic aspects of chise and elias' relationship so i went in expecting that #but i hadn't heard about this at all.#antisemitism cw

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coulsonlives · 9 months

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Unpopular opinion: there is no bloody fatphobia in The Whale and people need to chill the fuck out.

For starters, good luck finding a decent-sized pool of 600 lb actors of that gender, appearance, acting abilities, who fits the part on an intrinsic 'vibes' level, etc to choose from. How many 600 lb actors do you think are out there, and available? And more importantly, people gotta realize how hard it is to do anything when you have that much weight! And filmmaking is stressful. Add the rigors of filmmaking and being on set constantly, and you have a recipe for disaster. Literally a liability. The production might not even get approved because there's such a big chance of something going wrong.

The film didn't even make fun of fat people or stigmatize it. Charlie was fat because he was sad, not the other way around. But being fat also made him miserable in some ways. That's just what happens with a lot of morbidly obese people. It's not fun to be that fat. The movie takes the subject matter seriously and it doesn't glamorize it.

So like, people gotta stop. They're just losing their shit as soon as they hear the words 'fat suit' and ascribing a negative judgment to that, then trying to find things that are wrong, like, gasp, someone having a bad time because they're morbidly obese, even though the logic behind their anger doesn't check out and it wouldn't even be SAFE for the actor if they did find one. But sure, hire someone with genuine morbid obesity of that extent.

Maybe when they die of heart failure two weeks into shooting, people will eat their words.

And yes, morbid obesity is dangerous. You literally can't be 600 lbs and be functionally healthy! The pressure all that extra weight puts on your organs alone is dangerous, your skeleton doesn't change to accommodate anything, your body is constantly under stress. If anyone denies this, it's super, super obvious they're in denial of just how big of a problem morbid obesity is. That part isn't an opinion, it's physics, it's science, it's reality. There are autopsy videos of morbidly obese people who donated their bodies for science. They show all the effects and explain them for educations sake. Go watch a few. Or go read some studies.

#if they actually did hire a 600 lbs actor you bet half these people will be turning around to call the movie 'exploitative' so like cmon.#the whale #unpopular opinion #brendan fraser #obesity #health #discourse #weight #moral outrage #critical thinking #social justice #death ment cw

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 8 months

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why do you put #actually asexual?

The 'actually asexual' tag is an old community tag that, if I remember right, was originally created to bypass spam and hate that was showing up in the asexual tag at the time.

I made this blog at a time where there was a lot of harassment towards the ace community so when I was deciding tags putting positivity posts into that tag too made sense.

All the best!

#the so called discourse cw

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eulchu · 2 years

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no literally i enjoy the karl and george interactions but had to fucking purge my dash of people being weird about it. like it’s almost as if they’re trying to make some weird, nonexistent point to dnfers. they’re the ones that call dnfers freaks for “being weird” about dnf interactions, but then are the first ones to be weird about karl and george being physically affectionate and act like they have some moral high ground because “it’s just a joke.” like ok. is this the bit where you’re not funny then? it’s incessant and annoying. your response to people validly being sad for dream and wanting him to be with george should not be to flood their dash with “lol karl and george fucked no condom tongues in eachother’s mouths.” no one is angry that george is happy. and also mass-vagueing a single person is fucking weird and unnecessarily mean, especially when it’s over insignificant bullshit and one single interaction. like dnfers post things like omg dnf are so sweet with eachother and they’re going to hug and be able to exist in the same space together and hold hands. people posting about karl and george are being so fucking weird to prove some nonexistent point and im genuinely sick of it.

IS THIS THE BIT WHERE YOU'RE NOT FUNNY SO TRUE!

#god you're so right in how everyone's calling dnfers weird when all we ever do is gush over how cute dnf are LOL #ur the ones being weird you losers #ive said this but i would be far more normal w multishipping if the posts for every ship except dnf weren't so fucking gross #ask #cw discourse

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volixia669 · 2 years

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Pride isn’t unsafe for aros, it jsut isn’t for aros, the same way it isn’t unsafe for cishets in general but isn’t FOR them.

Aro pride is great. Just irrelevant to pride.

And the anons have already started.

And you know what anon and everyone else who thinks that way? Go fuck yourself with a cactus.

YOU are the ones who are making anyone who isn't flamboyantly gay feel uncomfortable at an event that is about US.

And you're probably attacking the flamboyant queers too.

Go take a fucking look at what the fascist right are doing in the United States. They're taking away trans rights. They're taking away women's rights. They're taking away voting rights. And they're gonna take away gay rights too.

Look at Don't Say Gay. Look at all the teachers who got fired for being gay. Look at the uptick in queers being called "groomers" for daring to be openly queer.

We are being attacked. The fascists want us DEAD. And guess what? That includes those on both aromantic and asexual spectrum for daring to have different ideas on what love and relationships are. That includes bisexuals. That includes pansexuals. That includes nonbinaries of all types, whether they transition or not.

So guess what? Pride is for all of us. And any cisallohets who want to stand with us are WELCOME to support us queers at pride. Y'know why?

Solidarity.

We cannot beat the fascists while standing alone, or in little groups.

We have to stand together. Now more than ever.

And allies who help FIGHT the groomer rhetoric and everything else the right is doing are welcome.

Who knows? Maybe that "cisallohet" ally is actually in the closet. Maybe they're just curious about pride. Maybe they'll learn something about themselves via being around queers. Tbh, as long as they're being an ally aka not being an asshole, they're just fine.

The thing is.

You want to be exclusionary?

You want to divide us?

You want to reduce the number of people willing to stand strong?

Then you're just helping the fascists, and tbh I actually don't need to tell you to get fucked. The fascists will fuck you right over.

#cw: arophobia #cw: asshole anon #cw: homophobia #cw: pride discourse #gay wrath month #am i feeding the trolls? maybe #but i want to be super clear on what this division does #it only weakens us #at a time we need to stand strong #yes the american right are fascists #some of them even call themselves that #so yeah i'm pissed #and i'm pissed at the people trying to divide us

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sheepwasfound · 2 years

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I am glad you’re discussing things, because it’s sadly been on my mind all day too. 😕 I was so excited for all the upcoming IRL content, but after Dream admitted to conversations with two fans at least…it soured so bad. While I thought he was looking forward to his friend, he called a fan „gorgeous as fuck“ or such, and that’s the very best version there is. Him inviting them to a personal snapchat that deletes all evidence…😮‍💨. I would not have gone as far as call him what the UA on twitter did, but I wonder who and how Dream really is.

i never knew or ever will know who dream is, but i didn't expect this from him just based on things he's said in the past. that doesn't say anything though, because we only see what he shows us, not the full reality, that's how it is with any cc (and sometimes even with your own friends). personally i guess i'm holding out some semblance of hope that the snapchat part and all those flirty messages are completely fake (because dream did not say anything about them yet), but if they're proven to not be, then yeahhh i can't support that at all, especially with how freaking recent it all is. he should absolutely know better now. but if it somehow turns out this is a faked mess, which i believe there is also some possibility of because things just keep getting weirder and weirder, i am over here waiting to find out more

#one thing i find super weird is the accuser gloating about having been called gorgeous and talking as if they're taking pride in it #they've sent multiple messages to ppl with that kind of a view #but i also understand that all this would have happened very recently so they might not have fully processed it yet y'know?#and everyone has different coping mechanisms #but at the same time it's such a troll way to act some of the things they're doing rather than taking this seriously #BUT. i can't freaking know. and the person would still be young and everything and this is a hard situation #but i see both sides of this thing right now there's arguments for each side #so i will wait for the freaking Law or some solid proof #to the anon talking about the law btw: even with money the chats are either there or they're not there that's not bendable information #sheepy ask #Anonymous #cw discourse

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andivmg · 2 months

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My experience with Luke (Punz)

CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent

I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.

this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.

If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.

So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.

Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.

In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.

Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.

Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.

He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.

There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.

Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.

On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.

I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.

I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.

#sorry if the formatting is all over the place

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garoujo · 6 months

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saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk

CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.

hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.

first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.

on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.

first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.

i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.

a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!

so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.

this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:

again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?

i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.

regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.

she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.

i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.

now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.

but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.

anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.

the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.

it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.

i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.

i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.

i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.

so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.

i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.

— emmie :)

#i apologise in advance to my mutuals & the innocents #i probably had more to say but yk i was rambling atp #anyways see u guys 🖤 love most of u !

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