#the thing abt me is that i hate seeing myself in anything

[mechawolfie]

want a sona thats just some creature. like me

#smudgy.png #the thing abt me is that i hate seeing myself in anything #trying to think of an animal that is Me is too painful. i mean ill #keep the serval i like him but i needed smth more Me. as in the Dont Percieve Me me #anyway so now theres this guy #im still figuring out its design but xyr a shapeshifter so rly i can do w ever i want. fuck you #OH yeah i wanted smth that felt very Gender n i was thinking of madk so. yeah #also manticores/sphynxes. very cool creatures i want to Be one #but without a human face. human faces r so. uurrrghhhh. to me #not sure why might be the autism.... #probs why im so comfy making animal stories over human ones... sigh.......... #oh wait i forgor: #terato #monster boy #well. not a boy exactly hehe

[nopeferatu]

idc what people are whining abt, i actually really enjoyed the netflix avatar series. the costume and set design was really beautiful, the effects were great, the performances were great. i think people are weirded out about the pacing and i understand that, but at the same time, they're working on netflix's budget and i think they did a great job utilizing the important material in book 1 to tell as well rounded of a story as they possibly could. and like sure, i get that it was jarring to see them start at the VERY beginning instead of starting w katara and sokka finding aang like the original show does for ex, but like. idk! i think they shouldn't feel obligated to hit every plot point beat for beat and i don't think we lost anything by establishing aang's background early on. actually, every single scene with master gyatso made me fucking bawl lol. aang's loss is soooo much more palpable in this show than the original one imo bc it lingers on that pain a lot more. there were a few story choices that kinda made me scratch my head a bit, like the fact that teo wasn't introduced as part of the new Northern Air Temple population and what effects that had on aang, but i'm really not mad about it. anyways i give it two big thumbs up and i hope it gets renewed for another season

#i hate it when uber fans get uppity bc the thing isn't exactly the same as the thing they love and they go into it w a shit attitude #i chose to be optimistic abt it and i really enjoyed myself watching this season today #also tho like seeing how much fun the cast had working on it and hearing them talk abt how rare this experience is #(the experience of working on a primarily asian and indigenous american casted show) #was like. a once in a lifetime.life changing event for them. and most anything that provides jobs for people of color in the art is a #net good imo #anyways give it a shot if you're curious abt it #i actually bawled so much throughout the whole season lol it made me sooo emotional #zukko and iroh will never fail to get me but the aang and master gyatso stuff also supremely fucked me up #also azula is way more sympathetic very early on this time around and i appreciate them being realistic #abt the fact that having an abusive father like ozai would fuck any child up #avatar the last airbender spoilers #atla spoilers #atla #avatar the last airbender

[silenthillbunni]

🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts :// #idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt.. #i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw.... #nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭 #idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know..... #oh if only things were easy

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it. #talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭 #it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

[moregraceful]

Also I deleted the post bc it was a bad version of myself, but I'm gonna say it again, it is bananas to me that Taylor Swift only sang one song off of her self-titled album in the Eras tour movie. like girl you cannot hide from "Tim McGraw" and "Teardrops On My Guitar" even if you were just cosplaying Tennessee country like those songs put you on the goddamn map and this is how you repay them??

#the thing abt the eras tour movie is. it unlocked many opinions about taylor swift's music i didn't realize i had #''is fearless her greatest album'' i asked myself. ''all these songs are bangers i still know all the lyrics'' #no dummy you only know all the lyrics bc your 15yo sister put the house in 24/7 tswift lockdown every time she released an album #these songs are fun but more importantly your sister is 6in taller and an athlete so you didn't control the aux past the age of 17 #i haven't listened to a taylor swift album in full since 1989 was released (when my sister moved out)...some of her newer stuff is fun #don't blame me is pretty good. wish i had not been surrounded by middle schoolers the first time heard it. #but she's got some bangers. DON'T tell me anything about her personal life i don't wanna know and i don't care to learn #(my coworker: ''i forgot she swears so much on reputation and midnights 😭 oh well our kids probably see worse tiktok every day'' #me: 🫠🫠🫠) #also side note my 21yo coworker was like do you ever call our kids ''my kids'' around people and do people get really confused #i was like yes. people think they are my real kids and ask how old my kids are and i say high school and they get kinda worried #she was like yeah....my college classmates asked how old my kids are when i said i was taking my kids to the eras tour movie #and when i told them middle school they got really really alarmed and worried about me #nonprofit work lol. i'm stressed all the time about other people's children. i call them my kids. they all lowkey hate me. life this is it #fresno oilers.txt

[taniushka12]

getting a haircut tomorrow lads 💪💪💪

#the good thing abt having family members that worked at hair saloons is that i dont need to pay anything for a haircut :) #only the train ticket #the downside is that i can only get one when we're both free #and also i gotta be at a good mental place bc as much as i love my auntie i hate when anyone sees me when im down much less family #world travels fast and next thing you know ive got my other aunt dropping by wondering why i look like im about to kill myself #we cant have that #tani's personal shit #anyway its not the case we're fine now and we'll be even Better w/ that haircut 💪

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

#i was thinking abt it earlier #but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why #actually i do kinda know why. #i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me #earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject #too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i #was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often #especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d #everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just #cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even #consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural #but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other #peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something #something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they #move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less #sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can #always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response #and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone #it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything #not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i #feel like im not actually being heard or listened to #and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you' #or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore #god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it #for everyone else all the time #is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say #this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice #god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover #and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel #like they actually like me

[lesbianlenas]

applying for an apartment was. tbh. the worst experience of my life….if i don’t get accepted for this apartment i will kms so aggressively the whole world will explode just from my forceful energy alone…..

#michelle speaks #mostly it was bad bc of my dad lmfao but i also it has been the thing i have been having my anxiety nervous breakdowns over for months #and when that happens i cope by avoiding so i end up in a cycle where it’s like avoid the problem to not stress -> stress bc problem isn’t #solved -> avoid problem to reduce stress etc etc. so having to deal w the thing that was making me stressed is not easy for me 😩 #like i physically could not get myself to finish the application yesterday bc i was so distressed lmfao. i did today tho just fine #if i am just able to get this apartment i will have one month of my life where i don’t have anything to stress abt at all. #wouldn’t that be beautiful for me ❤️ that hasn’t happened since like 2013 lmfao. #anyway i had to pay almost SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS just to apply. LMFAO. LIKE? are you INSANE?????? #that should quite honestly be illegal. how can you make someone pay that much money when u might not even give them the apartment? #like that is CRAZY. i hate living in this world so much……i did NOT let my dad see that bc he would have EXPLODED lmfaooooo #so yeah landlords are evil but i have to go to law school so. LIFE! #at the VERY least that money should come out of ur first month of rent if u get a lease. like? just crazy fr……

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel #the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule #and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office #classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand. #which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a #mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively #i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when #i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an #office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then #when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low #energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its #like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that #i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my #lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to #convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture #of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing. #the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like #they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha #yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc #i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself #from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode #and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at #like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop #so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd #also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry #bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting #hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that #the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun #unrelated

[your-local-granny]

Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(

#God I was feeling so good today but duuuude I’m so scared abt the opera from purely a technical standpoint #like I’m not even stressed about fucking anything up anymore it just hit me that like. I invited people to see this and it might be bad :( #due to variables outside of my control!!!! I hate not being able to fix things #I would be less stressed if my mother wasn’t seeing it but tragically I’m proud of what /i/ am achieving so I really want her to be there!! #but I know it’s going to be SUCH a fucking let down after the other shows she’s seen at my school like #the productions she saw were SO GOOD on a technical standpoint and both of the productions this year were so bad :(((( #like even conveptually I don’t even know if I’m fully convinced and I’m in the show!!! #And idk. It’s hard when you don’t have an extended family (or like much of a family at all) #so the only people coming to your show are like. Broadway technicians #the closest thing I have to an uncle is a lighting designer and a stage manager my mother knows #very fun sometimes. Other times I want to throw myself onto a pyre #Why do the stakes have to be so high why can’t they just be happy to support me :)) I shall never be the center of her world. Ah well #But also we would not be as close as we are without our shared love of theater production so. Catch-22 #And at the end of the day I’m more sad that I can’t be proud of the show #it’s not anyone’s fault it just is and I need to be okay with it #I worked really hard and it matters that I’m doing this #GOD SORRY!!! #vent #portal of rambling

[fleshdyke]

ahsgsjaugejwjg

#sh/sui warning for tags #been having a shit day and just not feeling great overall and usually drinking water and eating helps but it hasnt today :/ #which means its an Actual Problem this time. like i knew it was an actual problem when i fucking cut AGAIN but idk #idk man. im just so so so scared of my friends hating me #and i know i have to see my partner again bc she is the one and only person that never ever makes me feel safe and unjudged and everything #but idk. as of right now im just not havin a great time. #like its actually so stupid the things i get upset about. there was some motivational speaker at my school today and when we got called down #to go watch the presentation i had to take like five seconds to grab my bag and phone from my desk #and my two friends got up and left together without waiting for me #and i know it wasn’t their intention and they weren’t trying to be mean or anything but man. doesnt make it hurt less yk. #and i saw some post from a guy in my school of him and his friends in the cafeteria and idk why but it made me so sad. it made me think abt #one time my friends said they wanted to walk around at lunch so i was like ok i’ll eat alone that’s fine bc i’m too disabled to walk around #the school. and then someone sent me a pic of them all eating together in the cafeteria. and i know they probably just stopped there for a #second and weren’t purposely ignoring me or anything but man that did not help yk #i want to leave them alone bc they never seem to want to talk to me but im trying to tell myself its just my mind but its so hard to #and i do love my friends and im making them seem a lot worse here than they are but its just. god im so scared. #idk. i dont actually want to die but i wish i could kms like. temporarily. #i know this is bad and manipulative but i just cant shake the want to know what would happen if i did yk. and this is a terrible train of #thought but like i want my friends to realize how scared this makes me and if i have to kms to do that. idk. #ive brought it up to them before and they pretty much told me to eat with someone else and i said i didnt have any other friends and they #kind of just said not my problem. so i dont want to bring it up again bc im mature enough to deal with my own issues and shit #it’s just hard man. i dont know how im supposed to communicate w them bc everything feels like im traumadumping on them and i dont want to #bother them. im trying to convince myself its not an issue and it doesnt actually bother me but i know it does bc i just fucking relapsed #and i had a city council thing in class today and i was the only person that was denied any funding at all and i was trying not to take it #personally and i was doing pretty good but i told my mom about it and she started defending the ppl that refused me anything and then it was #suddenly personal to me for some reason. its stupid and i know that but god that doesnt make it any better #rambles #vent

[piplupod]

.

#i think it is because i am so desperate and miserable probably #but i just really wish i knew why i am not likeable fjfkdl #i feel like there is something so obvious that im oblivious to somehow. and everyone else sees it and hates it #and i just. cant figure it out #i feel like im one of those hateful bigots who cry abt how nobody likes them and its so obvious why nobody likes them #i hope I'm not that. but maybe i am idk. i cannot figure it out and im just really tired of trying and failing w ppl #fumbling every attempt to make friends #theres ppl being v nice to me on a sideblog where I've been sharing art and stuff and I'm just constantly waiting for me to fuck it up #and then they will realize whatever it is about me that puts everyone off. and i will lose the chances of friendship. #im so scared and tired. i just want to understand what im doing wrong so i can fix it and be better and be likeable #idk i think there is just smth inherently wrong within me. im off putting somehow. there is smth festering at my core maybe #and everyone else can just /sense/ it. and i am trying so hard to be good at socializing and friendships but i somehow fumble it always #i just wish i knew what it was that im doing wrong #or like... if its smth inherent within me I'd also like to know so i can just accept it finally and move on #argh idk this is so pathetic probably but i am just so frustrated w myself tonight #im just constantly waiting for me to somehow mess things up w the nice ppl in my life rn and be left without that again #and im not doing anything to self sabotage even!! im just treading very carefully!! and trying my best to be good!! #but it seems to always go wrong somehow like ppl just... pull away #idk. i feel so terrified that it's so obvious whats wrong w me and im just not seeing it #i keep trying to look but i cannot see what it is so idk !! i keep looking!! i dont understand !!

[vampyrluver]

I love my brothers so much i want to protect them all wasaaa

#.txt #i love my parents but i think they r harsh nd mean nd not self aware at all #my parents dont believe they were strict growing up #but my moms the same one who took my phone away for a while year bc i was depressed #my parents r the same ppl who didnt lwt me do anytbing growing up #i literally didnt ask them to do anything bc ik they wpuld say no #i was so paranoid in highschool i couldnt even enjoy my free periods without thinking id get in trouble from my dad #my parents are now being rly strict nd harsh to my youngest brother #nd im doing all i can to support him but its also hard bc the fee times i disagree w my parents they get mad #so ive leanred to keep my mouth shut nd talk to my brother privately about my support for him #u kno how messed up it is tht i cant side w my brother in front of my parents #i have a lot of trauma from my parents nd ive done A LOT to better myself so it makes me feel so bad seeing the same things happen to my bro #nd my other brother he is literally the poster child for traumatized kid nd its insane to me how my parents dont see it #he moved out the second he could nd hasnt been living back here since #my parents stress abt like oh why does he hate us blah blah blah its bc u guys r not nice 😭😭😭 #like how r u not self aware omg kids turn out a certain way bc of the ppl who raised them come onnnnnnnn

[meowonhao]

soo crazy to me how in the last year with minghao, dokyeom, hoshi, joshua, junhui, and now woozi (idk if i'm missing someone) y'all are way too ready and eager to automatically throw them under the bus over something some random person (usually antis) said online and then like a day or two later when everyone comes to the consensus that it wasn't actually that big of a deal or even wrong/bad in the first place (which you could've figured out yourself from the beginning by just doing like. 30 seconds of research and exercising your critical thinking skills) everyone just moves on like nothing happened and goes back to being a fan/stanning them or whatever like you weren't just going with the crowd and shit-talking them 12 hours ago

#not even going to get into how so many problems arise from no understanding of korean/asian culture #and relying on half-assed and sometimes just straight up wrong translations #like cool you don't have to know everything about a culture or be fluent in a language but #that also means you probably shouldn't be speaking on certain things at all much less without even trying to look into it a bit more #anyways..yeah i'm sorry maybe i'm delusional but i definitely am going to default to trusting my idols #and then figuring out for myself if i really think they did something that bad or “cancel” worthy #before i'm about to believe some random twitter/tumblr/tiktok user and just go with whatever they tell me to think about something #and most of y'all don't apologize or clarify anything. just move on right after hurling the most abhorrent accusations against these people #who are people too in case anyone forgot #but then an idol kills themselves and everybody boohoo's and cries and acts like they just can't believe how this happened again #like it's you. you're why #and i can only speak on the last year of course bc that's how long i've been an actual carat and kept up with them to this extent #i'm sure other stupid stuff has happened before that too with other members #i just think if you're so ready to toss away your idols without giving them like any benefit of the doubt whatsoever you just need to go #i hate when i see this stuff too bc i'm usually only seeing the korean side of stuff and most of these things are such a non-issue here #bc people know better (not saying there aren't some crazy fans everywhere but) #then i see some dumb shit on tumblr dot com that either only has links to some dumb twitter thread #or i have to search for on twitter because again. i do not see stuff from int'l fans unless i am forced to or look it up intentionally #and just saying the timing of these things is always so calculated by antis and y'all fall for it every single time #this is all i have to say bc i just remembered the whole thing abt ppl trying to say hao was being fatphobic or something dumb #and then i remembered everything else and it just made me mad all over again lol #if anyone disagrees with any of this feel free to block me🥰

[8bit-mau5]

What stuff would you most like asks about and/or who’d you most like asks for?

I honestly am Not picky about the asks I get! I love having an opportunity to talk about or for my characters, and it's easier to list what I DON'T enjoy writing for: delving into sexual stuff, having my OCs mocked or having their struggles/etc made into a joke, or in-depth worldbuilding type stuff (i just dont do much of that and have little to say for it). (the only exception may or may not be coming soon. im very. whats the word. i hold what little i created for this world very close to my chest because of unsavory past experiences. so idk if i WILL share my fleet stuff here yet or not..)

I've told some of my friends this already, but seldom do I get any asks and so almost EVERYTHING yall see on my blog are months or even years old. (I am VERY grateful to the people who Have gone out of their way to send me stuff before :’3)  I take a while to answer cos I hold onto asks and quite literally ration them out so I can have Something to write for at least once a month askdjhdhdh

That being said I'm happy with anything (so long as they arent the above mentioned stuff). Some characters will lie, some characters will skirt around a subject, but most anything you want to know about my characters and the plots + stories theyre involved in Can be found out through asks. I try REALLY HARD not to put everything about a character on their page but. I get a lil excited to talk abt them lol. Ask them their fave color, their fave music genre, their hobbies, their fears, prod them on sensitive subjects, go wild honestly. Hell you can even just Greet Them TBH

EDIT: FORGOT TO ANSWER THE REST OF THIS UHHH. For WHO is rlly hard cos um. Essentially i get so few that I’d love asks for ALL my trolls at some point. But right now I’d love to be able to use Opal, Kieulo, Geniva, Viserys, Cyrell and Samael’s sprites more. ESPECIALLY the first two. 

#asks #dis-asterism #most of the asks in my inbox are to old ask memes #or are things im saving to DRAW something for #most of my asks in here are actually from 2020 and earlier :'3 i even got one from 2018 in here #when u dont get much you end up happy to get most anything askjhdhdhd #sending asks tho? i LOVE pestering ppls ocs about their interpersonal relationships #like a glimpse into their dynamic and seeing someones oc give love to their friends oc. KINDA LIKE WHAT U SAID IN THE TAGS OF MY POAST TBH #its so fun hearing abt the characters perspective. and its rlly rlly cute to me #its easier than asking other people abt lore things and plot stuff cos uh. i cant keep up w/it #i dont do much plotting myself. my guys are kinda just here #nothing happens until i meet someone willing to play with these guys like dolls cos i HATE the act of writing that isnt like. cooperative #hope this makes sense #this is why i dont pair my own OCs together. its not fun #working with and writing with people is where the joy is stored you see #i got a lil long winded but i hope this helps #TYSM for the ask btw

[skitskatdacat63]

My friend wants to hang out and i want to hang out but also just have absolutely no will to leave my house and not a lot of social capacity atm and UGhhhhh idk how to express that, like yes I want to see you and yes I like to see you but I dont think I have the capacity to be a fun person lately

#i think its just my tendency to kinda go offline out of sight during break #bcs there was a lot going on before so once break hits im like okay time to be a cave gremlin #like UGH i wanna see her and i like talking to her and i hate it but it gives me anxiety #i hung out w my other friend today which was nice but it was very structured like movie and ice cream. very nice very neat #i just feel bad because i really am no fun at all lately #like. hey wanna come over and watch me rot in my room? #i just feel distant idk #and she wants to see my school at some point but i just really have absolutely no will #there was that post i reblogged at somw point abt being alone and enjoying it but feeling insane #i really really like being by myself and doing my own thing but it also just makes me be in my own head way too much #its not like i think she has huge expectations for me or anything and she knows what im like #i guess i just feel like im being disappointing sometimes bcs i really dont like to do much out and about #and so id rather just *not* than to feel that way #haha that's why i always just mostly only hanging out by going to the movies bcs its very outlined and its out #because otherwise im like 'ahhhh....dont really wanna go out at all sorry!' idk i just feel distant #vent sorry just idk ahhhhh 😭😭 dont wanna ghost her but i just feel disappointing #and im sure wed have a fun time but i don't feel the will to i guess :/ #catie on break is just social isolation sob sob sob #catie.rambling.txt