#not sure why might be the autism....

[mechawolfie]

want a sona thats just some creature. like me

#smudgy.png #the thing abt me is that i hate seeing myself in anything #trying to think of an animal that is Me is too painful. i mean ill #keep the serval i like him but i needed smth more Me. as in the Dont Percieve Me me #anyway so now theres this guy #im still figuring out its design but xyr a shapeshifter so rly i can do w ever i want. fuck you #OH yeah i wanted smth that felt very Gender n i was thinking of madk so. yeah #also manticores/sphynxes. very cool creatures i want to Be one #but without a human face. human faces r so. uurrrghhhh. to me #not sure why might be the autism.... #probs why im so comfy making animal stories over human ones... sigh.......... #oh wait i forgor: #terato #monster boy #well. not a boy exactly hehe

[danothan]

i think above all else, i tie my aro identity to my autism. like sometimes i wonder if i’m aro just bc i’m autistic, and ykw that’s totally fine for me lol

and while we’re at it, that might be the case for my gender too. being non-binary is quite literally rejecting the binary, and being aro basically subscribes you to relationship anarchy, which also inherently rejects societal norms

that’s so peculiar to me now looking back on myself as a child. i knew romance and gender weren’t fake, but they definitely didn’t feel real lol. i wonder if other queer ppl felt this early on too, and if being neurodivergent makes a difference

i remember being incredibly frustrated every time gender was brought up with validity. “boys and girls” was like saying “cats and dogs.” it’s a phrase to communicate an idea, but we all know they’re not the only ones. romance didn’t rly frustrate me so much as it felt like participating in a game. it was fun choosing ppl to have a crush on, until i was on the receiving end. like, we’re still playing, right?

ppl always say autism means you don’t get social cues, but i don’t think i was misunderstanding anything. i think i was just questioning their value

#one time in kindergarten i was asked if i loved my mom #it was meant to be a given but i didn’t respond immediately #i just pondered it rly deeply bc i understood that ‘love’ was a strong word and i didn’t wanna just answer unthinkingly #but i was just met with a concerned look and suddenly i was overwhelmed w guilt and just started crying (damn i cry a lot dont i) #bc how dare i make my mom look bad by not saying i loved her? why did i have to think abt it shouldnt it be obvious? #idk why it translated to shame. i didn’t hesitate bc i didn’t love her i hesitated bc i wanted to make sure i meant it #i think from that day on i always questioned this idea of love in every sense of the word #that might be why i’m so obsessed w lovecore and fictional romance too. aestheticizing it naturally invites analysis #and ofc fun lol i do just love love at the end of the day #aro #genderposting #autisms #danbles #hmmm #lovecore

[gxlden-angels]

Looking back, it's so funny that my family still sees my neurodivergence as more of a prayer issue than a neurological difference especially when I got very overwhelmed singing during praise and worship, but was still told to sing and dance so they definitely looked to their side and just saw this

#I'm autistic on the gay sex autism website. who would've guessed lol #but seriously tho its so funny looking back because I was so so autism #I'd stand and close my eyes so the lights and sounds didn't overwhelm me as much then I'd mostly sway and bounce in place #Sometimes I pre planned my exact movements ahead of time to make sure I didn't get in trouble for not praising #also I wrote an essays earlier about absurdity but it felt Off #like I was someone else trying to write in my style #a fun innuendo followed by TWs for safety and a hook intro #and a heart felt thing for ppl to take with them #it was 'The universe doesn't care about you but I do. I care so much' #but it felt preachy #it felt like I was trying to convert y'all to something via instagram influencer Canva-esque type essay #so I deleted it #I mean I saved my copy for my religious trauma coach but deleted the post here #so I might try again but I think I should look into why it felt ingenious with my therapist #ex christian #religious trauma #flashing lights #flashing gif

[corvidcall]

yknow i feel like i get so many tiktoks where people are joking about their dads being undiagnosed autistic but i don't think ive ever heard anyone say their mom is autistic??? whats up with that

where are the autistic milfs

#anime life #i mean MY mom is hella autistic but i have never heard anyone other than me theorize that their mom might have autism #tbh ive only heard a few people ever theorize their moms have adhd either #why are you all so sure your moms are neurotypical...... grow up

[moonscape]

bro i hate doctors so fucking much i'm gonna need every single one to kill themselves right now

#guy i just saw about symptoms was a massive arsehole #''it doesn't like ms to me'' ''okay do you know what it might be'' ''hell if i know lmao'' guy didn't even explain how it wasn't ms #like fair that we should do testing first. i'm not saying that i for sure have it but that i think i do. there's a difference and he was #acting like i was being entitled just for wanting a little bit of fucking compassion from a doctor for once #every single thing i said went in one ear and out the other too #''you've been assessed for fibromyalgia'' ''no i've said like 5 times now that i was dismissed immediately without any testing done because #of my weight and autism'' ''so you've been assessed for fibromyalgia'' #also why do they always bring up shit that isn't relevant. how is my dysphoria relevant to my fatigue and pain #doing that genuinely feels like they don't take me seriously. like they're just indulging me with irrelevant information about my personal #life that don't apply to the current issue just because they want to pretend like they give a shit #i am getting a blood test done tomorrow but god i feel like i had to fight for it just because this guy kept sticking his head up his ass

[griaustinis]

i'm watching a kurt cobain docu and he's kinda autistic.

disclaimer, this is just for funnsies, i'm not actually diagnosing him, obviously. just some things in common with autistic people. some might just be adhd things (which he's diagnosed with, according to the internet), since they're so comorbid, they might be a little confused in my head

didn't like his schedule broken (insisted his family did the usual weekend game night even when his family wasn't in the mood)

liked the games but only when he won (seemed insensitive to others)

the internet says he was diagnosed w adhd. autism and adhd often go together

didn't know how to make his family to like him

doesn't understand relationships (the situation with the girl w a learning disability)

didn't understand at all that [the girl who later became his girlfriend] had a crush on him - bad at reading social cues?

his girlfriend Tracy said that she nurtured him, was sort of motherly to him, that she helped him mature (and autistics are often considered immature)

it was difficult for him to keep a job

"i use bits and pieces of others personalities to form my own" - masking?

in this one video he was preparing for a concert and asked his friends to be in the first row, so he wouldn't be looking at strangers and literally said "i dislike strangers"

was sensitive to criticism and praise

#2021 04 16 #i have a feeling this might be offensive but i'm not really sure why/how #autism #asd #autistic #nirvana #nirvana band #kurt cobain #griaustinis.post

[enhanced-operatives-division]

handler for the bingo?

Bingo game here!

1 Bingo!

#i need to make a post about him being autistic oh my god.........i have so mamy thoughts #mainly a silly comic strip of “no agent I don't have autism” and then it's all his autistic traits #anyways. yeah. bramston (?) pickle and cheese sandwitches on brown bread for that man. please #i love him :( #also like him better in a dynamic...i already LOVE him but his relationships with other characters just. make him even better #ANYWAYS #doodle updates...doing coursework tonight but...im fairly clear tomorrow!!!! #i have some meaty asks and they'll totally help #so far down 2/30 pages o7 #need to do uhhh 3 designs...mainly 2 are redesigns because of a prompt i got...im kinna hyled about it tho #anyways!!! ty for the ask :3c #very fun!!! he's so silly #ieytd #sure why not #might not main tag all of them but this is the first i digress #back to sewing 💯 #[Agency Breakroom - Ask Game]

[the-acid-pear]

It's not easy to be a guy with a weird gender and complicated relationships with its sexuality and romantic attraction and fat and autistic and traumatized to the bone but someone has to do it

#luly talks #i tried to rb a post but i hit post limit and i lost it LMAO but i find it interesting how my things overlap #bc as some of you might know i grew up as a fat little girl and you know the world fucking hates us #and on top of that autistic although i had the most neurodivergent ppl along w me #i still wasn't like my other friends tho i always was slightly more lonely slightly more disconnected #they were in on things i didn't seem to be in the social spectrum and i never understood that #and one of those things was indeed romance and dating and in my teen years sex too #like by default i was seen as undesirable. just by virtue of being fat and also kinda androgynous #and the autism just. kept me far away from any social circle or interaction that'd bring me closer to an encounter of any kind #and i always yearned lord knows i still dream of Ana but the thing is i... #i just. love romance in paper #i love the idea of romance. i love the yearning i love the feeling #i know the feeling bc i know euphoria! i know the euphoria that comes from love. #but to me that's a very short lived feeling specially when engaging directly with it #i think its part of a matter of being taught what romantic attraction is and how they paint it #it's similar to how you are taught X and Y is hot even before you understand why #like i remember my mother always joking w me about male mannequins' cocks and like sure i played along #bc i thought it was funny and if the adult i seeked approval from did it then i absolutely should too #but she also scolded me once (and btw i was like 15) bc idk i was acting. like a perv? #and it's so bizarre in retrospective bc it might have been before the age of 15 bc i really didn't care about such matters then #I've always been amaizing at masking i love understanding people and why they do what they do and replicating them #so me being positive to sex and romance is to be expected #but at the same time its weird bc i cannot bring myself to hating it but i also just. dont fucking feel it #but at least w sex comes the horror of having a body too like there's a lot man #but my point is that its funny how despite being seen as undesirable for society i was unaffected bc i was oblivious to it

[lilleeboi]

"Personalized" thank you message from my top artist is hilarious. I don't even know who that is.

#this might be an autism thing I'm not sure #why would I want to hear from you.... #I'm not even that bad at recognizing people and this person could yell my name and slap me in the face and I genuinely wouldn't recognize #nevertheless #you're welcome for being in the top 0.05% of listeners

[falconscales]

Is it a kin thing or is it the autism I don't know

#i am looking at Raszageth specifically #is it because im autistic and really like her? #am i a fictionkin of her? #or whatever the wording is #is it just my dragon and my harpy wings mixing together? #who knows! #not me! #also to a lesser extent i might be blood elf-kin but that also might be an autism thing and i only think that because of one thing #thats weird to explain #so im not really thinking about thag one as much #falcon rambles #should i put this in the fictionkin tag?? #sure why not maybe someone else can help me #fictionkin #otherkin #sorry aboht any spelling mistakes in the tags im not rewriting all of te #them

[ibuprofenlesbian]

how do therapists typically react when you say you think you have something

#ive only done that twice with two separate therapists one was like yeah that’d make sense (about autism) but i had to stop seeing her #+ she wasn’t very good #and the other time the therapist was even worse and she kept trying to tell me what im almost positive is ocd was just ptsd #i have both but like the thing she was talking about had nothing to do with my trauma and was entirely based on intrusive thoughts #and also involved compulsions so like. #she generally sucked also she was like 40 minutes late once and then when she showed up (into the telehealth thing) she was driving #but yeah i want to talk to my current therapist about both my ocd and dissociation problems but im scared to flat out say that #also concerned she will equate my ocd to ptsd as well bc some of it is connected but still is different #like i have ruminations that are vaguely connected to my trauma that i might not have otherwise but they’re still ocd im pretty sure #also i was kinda supposed to be diagnosed with it ? i took a test thing but i kept telling the psych that i didn’t have it so i think he #abandoned the idea. and then i was discharged and it was just dropped #idk why im saying all of this im in a weird mood #vent #kinda??? #not really but to be safe #but yeah i feel like it could be seen as trying to do the therapists work for them which i don’t want to do

[nikatyler]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

First off, thank you, second, sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for months 😅 I finally put some facts together yesterday in the car when no one was sending me questions from the lists I reblogged smh it's okay I'm not upset

In my original idea for Sharon, she and her dad were both werewolves, they were attacked when she was little. By the time she met Tyler, she learned to hide it pretty well and she was almost fully in control of her wolf side. In the newer version of her story, she's still human when they meet, her father is also human, and if Sharon does actually ever get turned into a werewolf in the end (I'm still debating it), it won't be until her late 20s/early 30s.

Although Sharon doesn't practice the religion she was raised in anymore (but her dad is very much still catholic), she does have some sort of belief in god. She's not sure if she'd still call herself a Christian, in fact, she doesn't really want to talk about her beliefs, she usually keeps them to herself. Adding to that, she's got quite a wide knowledge of various religions, religious symbolism, saints and patrons and other important figures, which comes as a huge surprise to most people. Hell, most people don't even expect her to believe in any god at all.

Sharon struggles with loud crowds. She hates it: she can never fully enjoy a concert, if she even has the courage to go there. It got a little better with Tyler though.

Sharon doesn't show emotions easily. Her resting bitch face contrasts with Tyler, who is constantly pulling exaggerated expressions.

She hates long travels where she can just sit and stare. Long car rides are the worst (can you tell I wrote this while stuck in the car for hours lol), unless she's the one driving. It's still not ideal but it's a bit better, at least she's doing something, you know.

Thanks for the ask! ♥

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #simblr #sims #rose legacy extra #oc: sharon #i can't remember if i've said these before or if i only kept them to myself #the crowds thing i might have said before #also not sure this is probably the headache talking but do i smell autistic traits #i mean. you could say do i smell autistic traits while analyzing any of my main ocs lol #wonder why that might be lol #no but when i learned more about autism and adhd i was like oh fuck is that me? #and then immediately afterwards i was like oh fuck is that my ocs too? #let's be real if it's me it's my ocs too #also that headache is really bad rip f in the chat and all that i'm probably gonna go to bed #i'm going. i'm already going down the rambling spiral and that's no good when my head is about to explode lol haha goodnight #alsoooo rip whatever skin overlay i was using for her here. it broke with the werewolves update #and the creator doesn't seem like they're going to update it ;-; #was there ever a solution for that or was that just for the broken sliders? i can't remember #either way i never did that but if there's a way to fix it i would love to fix it for myself #hnghg my head okay goodbye

[starrrbitz-movedtonewblog]

This blog really is old, part of me has been wondering for a while if I should just archive it and make a new one...

Some ranting and thoughts in my tags below...

#i know this seems really random but larely ive been struggling to actually remmeber to post here #and yeah im sure many here have noticed #i dont care about being famous on tumblr anymore like whn i was 16 #this is just my little diary after all lol #but its become more cluttered than i would like #and i dunno if i can handle it anymore along with school #i kind of want a fresh start by having a jee account with seperate blogs for art and reblogs/fandom discussions #i dont want this blog to go to waste though so i might just make a post that redirects to the new blogs #i do sincerely appreciate everyone who has stopped by to reblog my art and silly discussions #or even just giving a like #but i feel i have out grown this blog i made when a was a wee little teen #i will keep you guys updated on what i decide to do #blog update #update #luma speaks #important #also uh i would like to use fewer tags on the new blog because god i hate that i made so many tags to use for this blog #why 16 year old me did you do this???? was it the autism?? lmao

[endelerie]

i have the odd feeling to share my every thought to someone but its the middle of the night so ur all i got tumblr i love you guys so sorry for the little vent

#no im not sleep deprived #im just very confused #and stressed #figuring shit out yk #like ibknow i have adhd #but this is more stressful than going though the adhd criteria #i was sure of that #im not as sure of autism #but its popping up more and more recently #and i really feel like i need to check it out #but at the same time i dont know enough about normal social interaction to know whats differebt about me #and its so stressful because i feel like i need every little detail to even consider that i might have autism #idk why but i feel like figuring out if i had adhd felt normal #like i was always meant to do that #but teying to figure out if i have autism kinda feels like im offending someone???? #idk #im so confused about all of this #i feep so weird about it and i dont know how to make this feeling go away #its so overwhelming #vent #autism #adhd #anyways my previous post was me asking for help soooo

[biioniic-biiohazard]

GIGGLES LOUDLY I GOT THE CD I GOT IT I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEH YAAYYYYY <333

#im SOOOOOO fucking excited u guys have no damn idea #this and getting money for other shit later and all the gift cards n stuff #ANDDDDD HAVING MOTIVATION TO WORK ON MY WEBSITE AGAIN?????????????? #*AND* SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO POSTING ABOUT WHEN I UPDATE IT???? OUGHHHHH #AND ANDNNDDDDD ANJDNDDD!!!!!! IM LISTENING TO MY FAV ALBUM RN ????? RAHYHHHHH I LOVE HARDCORE RAVE MUSIC FUCKING EATS IT #im veryt silly and very stimmy and im full of pasta and very happy rn <333 #a few small bumps n stuff today but im sure everything will be okay #peace n love to the fkn universe or whatever cuz I WIN IM NOT FUCKED UP TODAY IM NORMAL WOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #rhgfsdjkjdfauihguiHUJKHFVJKDKHFNJKEEHHEHEHERHERH SORRY SORRY FOR TAG RAMBLING I DO IT WAYYYYY TOO MUCH #but like im geneuinyl so fkn happy about some stuff minus itty bitty issues but i can work those out later #and tmrw is crimmis and...i have a feeling i might be getting more figures to show off soon <3 asked for tons of sonico n touhou things #dunno why those two but i think its just the autism kicking in #very VERY excited #bit upset we didnt celebrate it on the solstice this year like usual but mom was busy #OH WELL closing up the tag rant now #proxxtalx #also if anyone read this to the end TYSM ILY MWAH MWAH THANX 4 LISTENING U GET A COOKIE

[gargoylebinch]

hi interviewing for a new job and I hate it here so much already

#first of all it was hella confusing to find the building #then i male it to the place and its like a one room mini offife with five people all talking over each other #then they told me to wait in the lobby of the building #im pretty sure they forgot about me #the email itself was super weird and off putting too cuz it was a tobot generated one with no information or personality #if thatakes sense #like im interviewing for a position to work with kids after school and the person who told me about this position was like omg they're #having such a hard time finding people and fufilling positions! like gee i can see why #it might just be the autism but these people were super like stand offish and staring at me like why are you even here #im really debating if i should just leave and screw this interview #so many people from the building keep asking if i need help like ahahsbdnnd yes pls