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#they are disaster housemates

handsomejackai · 2 years

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so. what was going on with arcane episode 5

#watching arcane with my housemates is a disaster

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stumblngrumbl · 7 months

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N is in DC

looking for a place to live

everything on CL is a scam, and they want deposits just to hold the place even before you see the inside (refundable, of course!!! yes uh huh)

so we checked websites can't find this landlord looked at the building licenses... you have to have a license for every unit you rent in DC and no he doesn't have a license.

scam.

anyone have a 1BR in DC to rent to a very chill ns/nd best guy you'll ever meet, no joke he's one of the good guys... but what am i saying this is tumblr who has a rental in dc :/

#like wtf is a young person supposed to do #everything is stacked against them #even if you manage to find a job then you have to get a place to stay that won't ruin your bank account and also #won't ruin your mental health with disaster housemates #N cooks cleans his own bathroom and space quiet courteous but none of this counts if you can't even find a place

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hannie-dul-set · 9 months

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HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [MASTERLIST].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. GENERAL WARNINGS. too much swearing, references to/jokes about sex but i will not write smut, an awful amount of secondhand embarrassment, all of the boys are pathetic (check each chapter for specific warnings).

UPDATE SCHEDULE. there is no update schedule. i'll update whenever i want so send an ask/dm if you wanna be tagged in future chapters!

NOTE. i am very passionate about my asshole/loser idol agenda. this reads like a bad sitcom in written form so don't expect anything to make sense.

questions about the bitchless gang are very much welcome. feedback is also very much welcome and appreciated. hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 1 — this is too much underwear for a first meeting. CHAPTER 2 — the inevitable disasters of living with six men. CHAPTER 3 — it takes a lemon related accident to get a man to talk. CHAPTER 4 — kisses? kisses. CHAPTER 5 — staring contest of death. CHAPTER 6 — the obligatory pool episode. CHAPTER 7 — sexy goth jellyfish. CHAPTER 8 — hot, drenched, and sweaty.

. . . more chapters tba!

tracking tag: #home for the bitchless

click here to check out the house layout.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

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percervall · 20 days

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it's a bad idea (fuck it, it's fine) — part 1

Summary: your housemates give you an offer you can't refuse. What's the worst that could happen? Pairing: Jenson Button x fem!reader, Fernando Alonso x fem!reader, Sebastian Vettel x fem!reader, Mark Webber x fem!reader Warnings: smut, dirty talk, mild degrading, oral (m and f receiving), face fucking, fingering, slight nipple play, hinting at m/m, mentions of free use, *gasp* and they were room mates Word count: 1.9k

Part 1 of the Fuck It series

The arrangement was, frankly, absurd. Had the offer come from anyone other than Jenson, you would have kicked them so hard they wished you had punched them instead. Part of you hoped he would have forgotten what he had said while heavily under the influence of too much champagne, but luck was not on your side.

"Have you thought about my offer?" Jenson asks, innocently blowing on his coffee, making you choke on air.

"The offer in which I pay my rent by, wait let me check my notes. Ah, yes, 'fucking you'," you reply, voice a lot steadier than you feel. Because truth be told, it had been impossible to not fantasise about getting railed into next week by him- by any of them. Oh, you were well aware of how much your life had become the plot of a rom-com ever since your landlord decided to be an absolute greedy bastard. Become a live-in house sitter for 4 millionaires they said, it'll be fun they said. Liars.

"Oh come on, it'll be mutually beneficial," Jenson argued.

"Proud of you for using your big boy words, pretty boy but how exactly is this gonna end up in anything other than disaster?"

"He's hungover and a himbo, why are you bullying him?" Mark mutters, voice still rough with sleep as he literally picks you up and unceremoniously plops you down on top of the counter. There are days where you curse your small stature and his strength, especially when it leaves your brain stuttering to process getting manhandled.

"We'll set rules. All I'm saying is we're all adults-.." You can't help but snort at that. "Fine, whatever. I'm just saying that I've seen the way you look at them, seen the way your eyes flash with lust and I am pretty sure some truly filthy fantasies, and I know I can speak for all four of us when I say we would love to help you realise those. Also, we don't need your rent money and this is just so much more fun." Well then. You just got read for filth before even having had your morning coffee. Fuck him for seeing right through you.

"Where's your sense of adventure, nena?" Fernando comments, a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Right next to my 'I survived Multi-21' t-shirt," you mutter. It's a low blow, but getting bullied into sleeping with four drivers makes it hard to think.

Mark shoots you a look, eyebrow raised.

"The mouth on you," he comments, "Seb was very apologetic. Made it up to me in the best possible way. In fact, I should make you apologise to the both of us the same way, sweetheart. On your knees." He whispers the last part in your ear and you cannot contain the whimper that comes out at his thinly veiled threat.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Being made to kneel and take cock like the good little girl you are, hm?”

“Mark-..” You have no idea how to respond to that and keep your dignity in tact. You try to look away but Mark takes your chin between his forefinger and thumb.

“I asked you a question sweetheart. Are you gonna be a good girl for us?” His thumb tugs on your bottom lip and all rational thought leaves you as you nod.

“Mm, knew JB was right about you. Takes one to know one, I suppose.” You can hear a muffled what the fuck’s that supposed to mean? from the living room as Mark helps you down from the counter. You hadn’t even noticed the McLaren teammates had left the kitchen until just now.

“On your knees, sweetheart,” Mark nudges you and you sink down onto the floor. The small kitchen runner is the only thing protecting your knees from the cold hardwood floor, but the prospect of sore knees is quickly forgotten now that you’re at eye level with Mark’s crotch. You can clearly see the outline of his hardening cock against his shorts and it has your mouth watering. Mark chuckles as he notices the hunger in your eyes.

“You’re lucky Seb is out for a run. Or maybe I’m the lucky one, getting to fuck this mouth all by myself.” The whimper you let out is involuntarily as you eagerly watch him hook his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts, pushing them down far enough to free his cock. You scoot a little closer, taking him in your hand, tongue darting out to lick away the bead of pre-cum. Mark hisses, head thrown back and that’s all the encouragement you need to suck the tip into your mouth.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he says, sounding absolutely wrecked already despite you not even having done anything yet.

“You said something about fucking my mouth?” Mark looks down at you, pupils completely blown and he grins so wickedly, it leaves you breathless.

“Are you absolutely sure sweetheart?” As you nod in response, he gathers your hair into a ponytail in his fist, angling your face. “Alright then. Tap my thigh twice if it’s too much and I will stop, okay?”

“Okay,” you parrot, and move your legs apart ever so slightly to stabilise yourself. Mark drags the tip of his cock across your lips and you open up for him. He slides in, careful to not immediately choke you. You relax your jaw as much as you can, but god it’s been so long since you last did this. Mark sets a slow rhythm, letting the both of you adjust. Looking up at him through your lashes, you can see how he’s trying to hold on to the last shreds of self control, and well. That just won’t do.

“Mark,” you say, slightly out of breath as you pull back, “you taunted me with using me. So for the love of God, fucking use me.” Mark chuckles and the sound has you aching. He tightens his grip on your hair and slides his cock back into your mouth. Resting your hands on his thighs, you close your eyes as he finally delivers on his promise. The sounds are obscene and if you had a functioning brain cell left, you would have been concerned about the two of you doing this in the kitchen, but as things stand, the only thing you can focus on is Mark’s throbbing cock inching down your throat. Forcing yourself to open your eyes, you look at him as you swallow around him.

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m not gonna last, sweetheart,” he groans, pulling back. You hollow your cheeks while taking deep breaths through your nose, pulling another string of curses from the Aussie. You can feel his cock throb as he grunts above you.

“Gonna-.. Fuck.. So good, you feel so fucking good..” he mumbles, and throws his head back as he comes.

“You better not swallow, Schatzi,” comes a voice from the doorway. Who are you to disobey? Mark pulls out carefully, tucking himself back into his shorts while Sebastian helps you up from the floor. He carries you bridal style into the living room, placing you down on the couch next to Fernando.

“Show Nando, baby,” Sebastian all but coos and you carefully open your mouth. The underlying relationships? Questionmark? between your housemates makes your head spin, but judging by the way Fernando’s eyes darken, Sebastian knows something about the Spaniard you don’t.

“Can I kiss you, nena?” he asks and all you can do is nod. Fernando cradles your cheek, pressing an almost chaste kiss against your lips before he runs his tongue over the seam of your lips. The moan he lets out as he tastes Mark on your tongue has you throbbing. When you break apart to catch some air, Sebastian leans closer and licks away the few drops of cum that spilled when Fernando kissed you. Am I dreaming? you can’t help but wonder. Out loud apparently.

“Very much awake, doll,” Jenson grins as he kneels in front of you, “Something tells me you’re absolutely soaking. Mind if I give a hand? I do so love making people come with my mouth,” he adds and you’re quick to raise your hips so he can pull down your panties, much to Jenson’s amusement. He pushes your oversized shirt up higher and parts your legs. Sebastian moves your face so he can steal a kiss and you moan into his mouth as Jenson drags the flat of his tongue over your oh so sensitive clit. Their hands are everywhere it feels like. You’re pretty sure Fernando has one up your shirt, teasing your nipple while he kisses your neck. Jenson’s are curled around the inside of your thighs as he holds you open for him while Sebastian has one hand on your cheek as he kisses you; the other mirrors Fernando’s. Needing something to hold on to, you bury a hand in Jenson’s hair. He sucks your clit into his mouth, moaning against your cunt as you tug. Breaking the kiss, you throw your head back with a moan of your own while you grind against Jenson’s tongue.

“Need.. Fingers.. Please, Jenson, need your-.. Fuck, oh God..” Despite your incoherent state, Jenson understands what it is you’re asking of him as he carefully slides two of his long fingers inside of you. Sebastian and Fernando manage to strip you of your t-shirt, both of them taking a nipple into their mouth.

“I’m so-.. So close.. I’m gonna cum, please can I cum?” you whimper. Fernando mutters a yes against your skin and something snaps; Your back arches as your orgasm hits you and for a moment you forget how to breathe. The loss of Jenson’s fingers makes you whine but your housemates more than make up for it when Fernando grabs his wrist in order to bring Jenson’s fingers to his mouth, moaning as he tastes you.

“Just as I thought, you taste delicious nena,” the Spaniard comments with a grin. These men will be the death of me, you can’t help but think while Seb accepts the glass of water Mark hands him. The German driver helps you take a few sips as you slowly return into your body. Something tells you that this only scratches the surface of their underlying dynamics and you are dying to delve deeper.

“Told you it’d be mutually beneficial,” Jenson jokes, pulling you from your thoughts.

“God, I hate that I’m saying this because your ego is fucking big enough as is-,” you start only for Jenson to interrupt with a that’s not the only thing that’s big, doll which makes you roll your eyes.

“I was gonna agree to your plan, idiot. You proved your point. Twice over. I- eh.. I can see the appeal,” you continue before downing the last of the water. The four men share a look that you can’t quite decipher and it makes you wonder: just what did you exactly sign up for? You pull your shirt back on, suddenly very aware of the fact you’re naked, needing something to act as a barrier between you and this crazy idea.

“How about we discuss the details after breakfast? Don’t know about you, but I am starving,” Mark breaks the silence. You nod gratefully and let Sebastian pull you to your feet. A part of you is excited to see where this.. arrangement will lead you, but you’re also apprehensive that you might be about to bite off far more than you can chew.

Welp. Here we go I guess. Updates are gonna be slow on this, so please temper your expectations. Ideas have been brain stormed, things are brewing in the ol' noggin, I just gotta write it 🥲

Massive shoutout to @curiousthyme and @feralnando for helping me brain rot about this and for holding my hand while I descent even further into chaos. This whole part was written while listening to Hozier's Too Sweet and Ethel Cain's Gibson Girl on repeat, so feel free to do with that information as you please

Please let me know what you think. Your comments, likes and tags mean the world to me 💜

taglist

@2pagenumb @dannyramirezwife @daydreaminlewis @emlynblack @forza55 @jaimeleannavanlloman @mehrmonga @szobosz @raizelchrysanderoctavius @whoreforeveryon

#f1 fanfic #mark webber x reader #mark webber x you #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso x you #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel x you #jenson button x reader #jenson button x you #mark webber smut #fernando alonso smut #jenson button smut #sebastian vettel smut #fuck it fic

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marketfreshfics · 2 months

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Love is a... | Sebastian x MC

Header image (Sebastian): @starrysallow ✦ 5,439 words ✦ NSFW content (MDNI) ✦ unnamed female MC (no use of y/n), estranged friends to lovers, mild physical confrontation, some angst, oral, masturbation, p in v, tw: choking ✦ Inspired by "Love is A..." - PVRIS ✦ Read it below the cut or on AO3

Events following catastrophe were called fallout for a reason. Oftentimes it wasn’t the disaster itself, but the particles of pain that amassed the body counts, thrown to the heavens and scattered. What goes up, must always come down.

After killing Solomon and being pardoned outside of a court of magical law, based on friendship and honesty at the decision of his closest two friends, Sebastian was never the same. He stopped regular class attendance, prioritized unhealthy friendships, and frequented the restricted section even more.

She worried, constantly, but each attempt to reconnect and rekindle had been dodged and ignored. Her poor owl probably thought her a right lunatic with the amount of return post that accumulated next to her bedside.

It was as if he breathed in strands of that wretched Killing Curse, and his former self was another casualty of that day.

Distance was the only solution, and weeks bled to months, then years. Hostilities were built, grudges cemented, and relationships wedged. A lifelong friendship built on mutual trust, obliterated by all counts without salvage.

It hurt her heart, to say the least. Even Ominis insisted on prioritizing Sebastian’s company, solely out of self-flagellating guilt in believing he could have, somehow, prevented all of this. Now, he felt like it was the best means of maintaining Sebastian’s composure, of averting further tragedy. Eventually, the infrequent study sessions and conversations in the Slytherin common room became a thing of the past. The Undercroft’s clockface locking mechanism collected cobwebs, of time lost and friendships standing still.

She withdrew; the end of her seventh year approached and she was consumed by the quiet, by research, by exams. By any and all distractions that held her focus long enough to neglect her feelings.

Until one sleepless evening, as she passed the time in the Slytherin common room, tracing shapes in the condensation on the windows looking out into the Black Lake. The sound of footfalls and deep snickers bit her focus and induced an automatic eye-roll, the tells of men being up to no good. She turned her back to the stairwell, opting out of asking what they were up to at one-thirty in the morning.

Nothing great from the sounds of it. The group halted at the bottom of the stairs, whispered amongst themselves, and let out hushed sounds of approval. And then, the last voice she wanted to hear in the middle of the night beckoned her attention.

“Hello.”

Fucks sake, she thought, hearing Sebastian’s unfortunately familiar tone. His cronies chuckled, and worry started to spread uncomfortably in her chest.

“Leave her be, Sebastian.”

Relief cooled her blood as Ominis chided his best friend. Nothing wary would occur if he was in their company, that was certain; the heir of Slytherin had a quiet but firm reputation that fellow housemates were keen to avoid fucking around near. She turned, and swallowed hard.

Sebastian was a ghost of his former self, having filled out the straight-up-and-down form of his early teenage years. His black button-down could have used a proper resizing, taut at the biceps, the slightest hint of his undershirt peeking through the first buttonhole. Had they maintained a proper friendship still, she might have found him rather fetching.

But that was off the table entirely, their friendship long past expiration, the unanswered letters like an obituary in itself.

Sebastian crossed the central chamber of the common room, walking with the subtle saunter of liquid courage and bad influence, smirking with a glassy haze in his eyes.

He stood far too close to her. “I said, hello.” Terse, unyielding. The firewhisky on his breath branded her cheeks, and at this proximity, she was painfully aware of how much taller than her he’d grown. His little band of brothers hung back much to her relief; Ominis stood between them and the tower of darkness, the only one of them with some decorum (and sobriety)

“What do you want?” She muttered, fists balled at her sides to hide their tremble.

Sebastian feigned a hurt expression but it immediately dissolved, replaced with a terrible implication in his grin. “You.”

His audience chortled, save for Ominis, who seemed to be carefully attuned to whatever Sebastian was about to say next.

She ignored his forward attempt, cursing herself inwardly for how excited it made her feel. “What happened to you?” She wasn't looking for an answer, at least not immediately. She would have preferred he give it some thought, then approach her the next morning with an explanation (and, perhaps, an apology). “What’s wrong with you? Ever since you-”

Chagrined by her prying question, he reacted abruptly, grabbing her by the throat and pushing her back hard against the window.

His friends seemed perturbed by the action, immediately noping out of any involvement and backing out of the room for what they believed was yet to come. Ominis however took a step towards Sebastian, his wand raised, pulsing red. “Release her, Sebastian.” There was an exercised firmness in his voice as if he’d done this before. She wasn't the least bit surprised.

What was surprising, however, was her arousal. For his hand to be large enough to cup her throat just right, she thought it unfair. His eyes commanded her gaze, nostrils flared and breath hissed over snarled lips. His words bore grit, and punctuation pronounced. “Watch. your. mouth.”

It was no suggestion, about as much room for argument as was left in her airways for oxygen to travel to and from; next to none. Her jugular pounded against the web of his thumb, and his eyelids fluttered, pupils contracting in the earth of his eyes.

He knew. He bloody well knew how she was reacting, he had to. It shredded her innocence then, flayed it on the rack and flung her into a pit that the bastard dug himself.

Sebastian’s lip twitched, the corner tugging upwards into a smirk. Fuck him, she thought before speaking her mind, an emphatically sharp remark cutting a web of spit that landed on his chin. It only broadened his grin, as he wiped it away with his middle finger before swiping it with his tongue.

Her sympathies were with Ominis who had to endure this display of power and obstinate threats. “You’re reprehensible, Sebastian!” he warned as a firm hand clapped his shoulder. “Leave her be. She’s gone through enough already without your mistreatments.”

But she didn't want him to leave her be. She wanted him to mistreat her even more, and leave nothing left.

Mercy was given as Sebastian released her, wringing his hand. He narrowed his eyes as she ran off towards the spiral staircase, leaving before Ominis could provide consolation. Only once she was safely out of eye and earshot did she suck in a breath. She winced, a sting of soreness at her swallow, coughing to clear her stuck esophagus.

But that wasn’t what she fixated on. Instead of fear, she felt curiosity. Instead of warnings heeded, she draped his red flags over her shoulders like expensive silks.

Deceived into tasting forbidden fruit by a fucking snake. She could have laughed if she weren’t so fixated on the abject deploracy of it all. Every detail was ingrained in memory, down to the searing heat exhaled from his nostrils, fanning her décolletage, his inferno blazing.

And still, tears sprung to her eyes as she ran to the only spot she considered would provide some quiet reprieve…

And somewhere she could moan freely without an audience.

Thankfully the greenhouse was left unlocked, most likely by a fifth-year tasked with watering the dirigible plums after dinner and forgot to lock up. She stepped into the classroom, the humidity warmer than the cold dampness of the Slytherin dungeons, and she found a quiet corner to scoot on her bottom out of sight.

Despicable as it was, her digits committed treason and slipped under the waistband of her pajamas, sinning herself, confessing to those immoralities to please with her pleas. Her eyes wrenched shut in concentration as she drew upon her new little devious spank bank, every reaction cycling on a loop as her wrist bones cracked quietly in her panties with the fervour of her ministrations. And as close as she managed to get herself, with the image of Sebastian tattooed on tight eyelids, she almost cursed out loud when the latch on the greenhouse door clicked with movement.

She wasn't alone anymore.

She might have anticipated Ominis following her in hopes of apologizing on his behalf, but she never would have expected Sebastian to be the one stepping into the greenhouse, not after what transpired minutes ago. Perhaps Ominis talked some sense and ordered him to reconcile in person.

He leaned against the door, his hands in his pockets. “I can see you,” He said quietly, gesturing to her slippers poking out of the shadows. “What are you doing over there? Please, can you come out a moment?”

“Or what?” She replied, still trying to steady her breath, the combination of running and masturbating making it draw shallow. “You going to strangle me again if I don't?”

He exhaled, and… pleaded? “Promise I won't. That… I was out of line. You didn't deserve a moment of that treatment, not ever.”

She frowned, not expecting this change of pace whatsoever. She pushed herself up to stand, quickly wiping her fingers on the inside of her t-shirt, shuffling closer to him while maintaining adequate distance. With the enchanted heat lanterns angled at the massive venomous tentacula nearby, his face was washed with a glow that gave him a false sense of innocence. Her heart ached as she looked attentively at her former best friend for more than she had in over a year. “Sebastian,” she began, crossing her arms. “Can we talk about this in the morning? You’re drunk.”

“Not anymore,” he replied. “Ominis gave me a rather sobering talk.”

“Still.”

He sighed. “Please… we’ve gone too long without hashing this out. There’s a lot I need to say, and I’m certain the same rings true for you as well, no?”

She nodded, chewing her lip. It took several heavy seconds for him to continue, weighed down by the breadth of time spent apart. “I want to start by apologizing for how I threatened you this evening. I had a few drinks, and I wasn’t thinking clearly.” Even though it sounded like he was reading from a rehearsed script, his expression was genuine. “It wasn't right to scare you that way.”

If you only knew, she thought, but she wasn’t about to give him the benefit of the doubt. She looked down and focused on the small hole in the toe of her slipper. “It’s fine,” she replied, nodding. “No. I’m alright. Thank you for checking on me.”

Truth be told, she just wanted him to wrap it up so she could rub one out already. She couldn’t think of anything but his hand on her throat, and it was giving her a fuckton of bad ideas. When she looked up again he was eyeing her curiously, and the hint of narrowness in his gaze made her bottom lip tuck between her teeth.

“What were you doing here before I arrived?”

She wondered, at that moment, if he’d spent his free time studying legilimency. Her nonchalance did not convince him. The tells were there: flushed face, rumpled pajamas, the drawstring tucked into her waistband. Still, she didn’t want him to know that she was fingerfucking herself before his surprise appearance; Merlin knows what that would do for his ego. She played it off. “Just checking the growth progress on my mallowsweet.”

“You’re still a piss poor liar.” He huffed, though a shadow of a genuine smile made an appearance as he clasped his hands in front of him. He studied her, stepping closer. “I’ll need to be honest with you now, but I only ask that you be honest with me in return.”

“You weren’t before?” She raised an eyebrow.

“What? No, yes—- I was being honest there, truly.” He was tripping over words, evidently still feeling some of the alcohol in his system. “I won’t lie to you, promise.”

After consideration, she nodded. “Okay, what is it?” I’m probably going to regret this, she thought, leaning against a crate of potting soil.

Sebastian’s expression was thoughtful, the space between his brows creased. It appeared as though he were trying to choose the proper words. “Over the past couple of years, we’ve… well, I haven’t been myself.” The halfhearted scoff from her was not lost on him, but he continued. “Ever since, you know… that, happened, I’ve experienced these disturbing feelings, impulses that make me want to do terrible things. I don't know how to describe them, but they’re not inherently good. Ominis believes I’m dealing with guilt, but it’s not so simple. It’s not that direct.”

His quiet intensity doubled down then, and he looked at her. “I’ve wanted to… to hurt you.” His voice softened as he said your name. “I’ve thought of unimaginable things, truly awful acts that made me consider my very sanity. Things that you would never deserve in a thousand years. And they aren't just passing through.” The words seemed to leave a foul taste on his tongue. “They stick around. No one knows about it, because how could I admit such a thing? Even now I’m trying to cast them out. I don't know if it’s some kind of repressed anger that you decided against turning me in, forcing me to live with the consequences of my actions without trial…”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m prattling. I just want you to know, this is the reason I’ve been so… distant, with you. It ate me up inside to stay away and it wasn't fair to you without an explanation, but I couldn't trust myself. Even now, or earlier I mean… I don’t know if these thoughts will go away entirely.” Shame settled into his features. “Still, I miss you. I have missed you, and I miss our friendship. I miss…”

Sebastian blinked for a moment, and before she could interject he was standing right in front of her, hands on the crate behind her. She was locked in, his strong arms a barrier from freedom, but she wasn't about to attempt escape. To do so would mean she couldn't experience him this close, this intense. He towered over her, swallowing, Adam's apple bobbing. “I miss what could have been. Please, be honest with me…” He took her hand then, dwarfing hers. It made her chest tight as he murmured, and the heart was apparent in his words. “Even knowing what I’ve shared, knowing fully well that I want to fight these feelings for you, would you ever… even want, to be friends again?”

Her mouth fell open slightly, the wind out of her sails. The divisiveness in her was tumultuous, warring between slapping him across the face and shouting profanely for the blind selfishness. True that there was deep anger in her heart, but there was also a void that ran deep, a cut that never healed. She looked up at him, let out a sigh, and wrapped her arms around his torso, her face in his chest.

Sebastian was caught off guard, his inhale caught in his windpipe, but he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her in return. He held her so tightly she winced, letting out a small groan, but she didn't shy away, hugging him with equal enthusiasm as they swayed with the shared experience of reconnecting a missing piece after far too long.

“Can you tell me when those thoughts are too much to ignore?” She asked after several seconds, looking up at him, ignoring the heartbeat that skipped attendance as a result. “I don’t want you to leave me again. That… that was the hardest thing to go through. I mean, we did everything together, and then to just, suddenly not…” She sighed. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

His brow furrowed. “Still relentlessly selfless, I see.” He smiled, and when he breathed she was relieved to find his breath no longer carried the smell of firewhisky, instead just purely him. “I swear to you, I’ll never put you in danger ever again. If I need to talk to someone or, I don't know, distract myself. I’d sooner fling myself from the astronomy tower than knowingly cause you harm.”

She nodded, but her mind was ping-ponging an idea around that made her reconsider her sanity. Rationality missed roll call and so when she looked up at Sebastian, when the rest of the world vignetted around him, the kiss happened all on its own.

And he was just as eager, holding her body close as he consumed in a heat that scalded her resolve. Those fucking hands of his knew precisely where to hold her, where to pull, an indication that he’d imagined this before into his fist under bedsheets. She moaned with a tender kind of tact, fingers laced in his hair, practically pulling him into her petite form.

He parted to catch his breath moments later, cheeks and nose ruddy with blood flush. “This is okay?” His eyes flickered about her face, honing in on any evidence of disagreement in her expression. “I promise I won’t be rough with you, I--”

“Sebastian,” She murmured, tracing his clavicle as she spoke. Time to come clean. With any luck, he wouldn't be horrified of her. “I… I liked it… when you choked me.”

Brown eyes blinked, and she could practically see the cogs in his head struggle to make a full rotation around her admission. “You… you enjoyed that? But--”

“I loved it.”

His lips parted then, and she saw a new look in his eyes. Perhaps this was what he sought to keep buried from her and yet here she was, laying in the very mound of dirt he turned up.

So much is communicated in their gaze. His expression changes, and the paradigm shifts. “Yeah?” His voice has a hint of heat, a sample of what is to come, and the way he comes to terms with this burned slowly in her belly. “You like rough stuff?”

Her face flamed. “I-I never knew… But when you…”

The thought clicked then, and he tilted his head. “…what did you say you were doing in here, again?”

“…I didn’t.”

A slow smirk of understanding spread and remained in place, even as his lips crashed into hers. He kissed her with more insistence this time, harder, more ragged breaths than taking her breath away. Sebastian leaned into it, teasing her with his words. “What a little imp you are, scurrying off to rub one out. I’m surprised you didn’t go to your dormitory, where I wouldn’t be able to find you, left to your own devices…”

She gasped as those tactile fucking hands of his settled at her hips, fisting the waistband of her pajamas so hard the woven texture and seams of the fabric left indentations on his palms. Her hands were put to good use then as well, attempting to unbutton his shirt without breaking their kiss, a feat in itself considering how little thought was in her brain regarding anything that wasn’t connected to his body. Sebastian resumed his little wordplay while she untucked his shirt from his trousers. “Someone’s eager, aren’t we?”

“Shut up,” she muttered, and he chuckled while swatting her hands away from his nearly open shirt, grabbing and hoisting her to sit on the crate. Her legs snapped open immediately and Sebastian let out the most beautiful breathy groan, leaning into her as his lips descended the column of her neck. The humidity of the greenhouse gathered a whisper of perspiration along their brows, but the heat between them was something else entirely. Finally undoing his shirt in her conquest, it fell from his shoulders and she couldn’t help but drink him in. “Sebastian, you’re…”

He seemed a touch vulnerable at that moment, but it faded lightning fast as he grabbed the hem of his undershirt and pulled it over his head.

Her brain was rendered a useless mound of matter as she ran her hands over his defined chest, her eyes darting to the enticing trail of hair that disappeared into his trousers.

“Fuck,” she breathed, and her intrigue spurred him on, fed the deviant within. His hand slid up her torso, deliberately over a braless breast, settling to hold her throat. The other, however, buried between her legs and cupped her mound from over her pajamas.

The sound she made was positively primal, and she crushed her bottom lip between her teeth as he applied pressure, rubbing his fingers in devastatingly slow circles that made her hips buck. He leaned in close to her ear as she whimpered, nipping a lobe. “That's my girl… sing for me.”

So she did, letting the moans out freely as he tightened his grip on her neck. Her back arched as his thumb pressed into the side of her throat, and the sensation made her acutely aware of her heartbeat. It throbbed in her head and her sex, her mouth agape as his dark eyes watched her reactions, and the wicked grin he gave her pronounced his excitement. “You like that?” He asked, voice hoarse and low, laden with lust. “You like how I touch you like this?”

She nodded eagerly, trying to control the friction between her legs with more measured motions, and he obliged with enough pressure that her wetness began to wick through the fabric, ample and abundant. “Merlin, you’re already so wet for me.” The way he spoke to her was nothing short of sinful, his voice reaching a lower pitch she’d never heard before. He sped up, letting her rock into his palm as he varied the pressure on her carotid. She could come just like this, pathetic and whining and without having taken any clothing off yet.

Sebastian seemed intent on making sure she did just that. He leaned down to mouth a nipple from over her thin t-shirt, pulling another beautiful sound of pleasure from her mouth. The cotton wet with his lips around her pebbled peak and it throttled her impending orgasm. Her moans ascended in pitch, and just as she came the hand on her throat loosened. Her climax rocketed through her then, echoing sharply off the glass panels of the greenhouse, and if anyone were in the immediate proximity they would surely know it wasn't the sound of a mandrake that wriggled loose from its pot. Thighs spasming and tight to his sides, she rode out her release against his hand, the soaked crotch of her pajamas goading him on.

His mouth disconnected from her, capturing her lips in an almost desperate kiss, despite the confidence in his tone. “You’re beautiful when you come for me,” Sebastian purred, and he finally pulled off her shirt, baring her chest. His quiet exhale signaled his enjoyment. “Fuck, look at you…”

“You like what you see?” She found her voice mingled with a new sense of boldness as she palmed her breasts for him, giving him a rightful show. Sebastian uttered an expletive to voice his approval and eagerly claimed her lips in a breathtaking kiss as he undid his belt.

“God, yes,” his response was airy and rough. “Look what you do to me…”

And look she did, as he untucked himself from his underwear, practically twitching with the reflex of his abs clenching, his cock so hard it could crush diamonds to dust. She bit her bottom lip as he palmed his member, a groan born deep in his chest as she scooted off the crate and sunk to her knees in front of him, the cobblestone floor biting her joints. His cock bobbed at the most beautiful fucking sight he ever saw, and with an eager grasp at his base, she took the tip past her lips.

Sebastian’s head lulled back as he let out a quiet “unh,” drawn out once she slid the rest of his length into her mouth. She took his wrists then, bringing them behind her head, and his body knew precisely what to do as his fingers combed through her hair. With an abrupt thrust, he pushed deep into her eager mouth, and the moan that vibrated around his girth was all the encouragement he needed to repeat the motion. He imparted a slow, but intense pace, and she kept up with a slacked jaw and willing tongue. His cock glistened as it slid past her lips, a delicious mix of her saliva and his precum dribbling down her chin as she let him fuck her pretty mouth. The tip hammered the back of her throat and the sound she made to suppress her gag reflex stirred something in his chest, as if the nature of his ability to determine true love had some dirty little kinks of its own.

Then again, looking down into her eyes, gone glassy with the effort of her fellation, he had to wonder.

She didn't offer much room for second thoughts as she bobbed forward, taking him to the very base and then some, her nose pressed into the tufts of hair at his pubic bone. He held her there as she swallowed around his cock, her throat clenched as she sucked hard. With her airways constricted her breath was caught with nowhere to go and she properly choked, her face going red. Sebastian had never experienced something this intense, and he panted with balled fists in her hair to pull tightly.

His hips snapped, withdrawing from her mouth as she sucked in a breath, so quickly that she coughed from the rush of air. “While I’d love to keep fucking your mouth,” he grinned, and she swore she saw the devil himself, “I need you to come around my cock while I choke that pretty little throat of yours.”

His words were music to her ears. She obliged, and he pulled her up by the hair to stand again, attacking her lips, all teeth and tongues. His fingernails scratched her hips as he wrenched her pajama bottoms down, her panties joining them at her ankles before he lifted her onto the crate again. The wood scraped her bottom but she had no room to protest as his cock commanded her attention, dragging deliciously between her puffy folds. “Sebastian, please,” she mewled almost pathetically, angling her hips in hopes of slipping him in on her own.

“Oh sweetheart,” he sighed softly, “you’re so wet…”

An unexpected moment of tenderness claimed his senses then and he looked up, their gazes meeting, hearts swelling. He cupped her cheek, swiping a spot of spit from her chin as he leaned in to kiss her with a softness that he wasn't accustomed to. For all the pain he’d known, for all the darkness that stained his being, she was the safe space to embrace.

And he dare not let go of her. Not again. Not ever.

Her name fell from his lips as he slid inside of her. She hissed quietly as she acclimated to his length, testing his girth with a tightness that sent shivers up her spine. He rolled his hips, and she faced the heavens.

Sebastian was an intense lover, she discovered, his forehead pressed to hers as he fucked her deep, rocking on her ass with his eager motions. She was keen to contribute, her legs pretzeled around his waist, hands gripping his biceps for support, holding on for the ride of her life. Her plush warmth enveloped his cock, a silken heat that pulled him in. Their pace was perfection, enough to build their pleasure without losing traction.

“Mm, here.” He scooped her up at the bottom, carrying her effortlessly to a nearby workstation, gesturing her to lay her back on the desktop. “I wanna see all of you…”

He grabbed her hips with an almost bruising firmness and continued to fuck her on the workstation, watching his cock pump in and out of her, and she realized with a soft chuckle why he’d chosen this specific desk. No doubt this was a slight dig at her previous crush during their third year, Leander fucking Prewett, when Sebastian had caught them snogging outside the entrance to their common room. He’d teased her relentlessly for it, and now she had half a mind to wonder if it was a little crush of his own developing back then. His wicked grin implied they were on the same page. “You little shit,” she chuckled, but it cut off as he slammed inside, pulling an especially loud moan from her. No room for Gryffindor thoughts in this snake pit.

Sebastian’s gaze darkened with lust, his hair tousled along his forehead. One of those perfect hands claimed her throat as he shrouded her. “Yes,” she rasped, and he clasped firmly, squeezing precisely where he had to to get her heart thundering through her temples. She realized then, as her pulse became dangerously loud behind her ears, that he was timing his thrusts to her heartbeat. Her back arched with the increased pace, a symphony of gargled moans singing his praises as she quickly ascended the peak of an approaching climax. “Sebastian, I’m—I’m close…”

“I know,” he replied, unyielding in his motions. The edges of her vision greyed, and before she could protest the impending blackout, he eased his grip. At the precise moment that oxygenated blood returned to her brain, she came hard around his cock, hollering his name as she convulsed on the desk. Sebastian didn't stop, however, chasing the tails of his release with reckless abandon, hips pistoning so hard the table jostled and scraped against the floor. When he did come he punctuated it with a growled expletive, holding his hips flush to hers as her spent, quivering sex milked him for all he could give.

He collapsed onto her chest, kissing her sternum between shallow breaths. “You felt so, so good,” he whispered, craning his neck to offer breathless kisses as she cradled his head adoringly. She gestured to sit upright and he pulled out, sooner than he’d wanted, but he could tell by her soft groan that the firm surface had to be brutal on her spine.

Instead, she held him, melting into another appreciative kiss. “As did you. That was… I never knew it could feel like that.”

Sebastian chuckled, nosing her cheek with affection. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have left you alone after all.”

Her smile faltered, and he caught the echo of pain behind her eyes. “Sorry, I… I should have talked to you about this sooner. I was wrong to have shut you out this way. I was only trying to ensure your safety.” His thumb brushed her bottom lip. “I’ll make it up to you, for lost time.”

“You better,” she grinned again, this time with fondness as she brushed the bangs back from his forehead. “And, maybe… we can keep exploring these new enjoyments together. Perhaps by letting you indulge in some rougher activities, it will help.”

Sebastian nodded slowly. “You’d want to do that for me?”

“Of course I would,” She replied without hesitation. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t offer my assistance?”

A strong brow raised at that, and he smirked. “Oh, is this currently what you would define as friend behaviour between us?” he gestured to their naked forms, flushed pink with post-sex afterglow, glistening with a sheen of sweat. “Merlin, you’ve become awfully chummy.”

She rolled her eyes, thanking him wordlessly as he helped put her shirt back on before retrieving his own. “So you’re assuming I’m you’re girlfriend now or something?”

“Will you?”

She caught it; fleeting, but there nevertheless, a fond expression that brought back memories of his younger years, a boyish charm that captured her heart long ago. Her Sebastian was still living, hidden beneath layers of tarnish and grime, but certainly there, and she would polish him back to his original splendour and shine. She nodded, and they made plans to meet again sooner rather than later because later was an awful prospect in this touching moment of reunion.

She left the greenhouse with his hand in hers, a changed woman, gladly leaving the bodies of their former selves on the floor, all akimbo and forgotten, a distraction for the pain of the past to feast upon, releasing them from the confines of their creation.

Love is a murder, after all.

#sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian sallow x oc #sebastian sallow fanfiction #ominis gaunt #sebastian fanfic #pvris #sebastian sallow smut #hogwarts legacy smut #hl fanfic #hl fanfiction #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts sebastian #hogwarts legacy sebastian

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adracat · 1 year

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G Witch episode 16 thoughts

Or the episode where the real plot thickens. No offense to earth and Guel but these are the sort of stakes and drama I'm weak for. Truly a wonderful present to receive on this blessed of Sundays! Just in time for Walpurgisnacht too

And we start off strong with this heated Prospera and Bel confrontation! Cont. from last time, Bel just learned Eri Samaya is not Suletta Mercury or even alive anymore, but a mysterious 3rd thing-- her biometric code uploaded to the cloud aka Aerial. We learn her immature body couldn't handle it so she perished. Eri is now entirely composed of Permet particles, and without Aerial housing her consciousness she'll dissipate. The Gundam is literally possessed by a child's ghost.

And it seems with a permet score of 8, the datastorm can be extended with Quiet Zero and create a space for Eri to live. Or that's the implication, I gather. How exactly that would happen is a mystery though I suspect it would mean granting Eri a new physical body, perhaps by 'overwriting' Suletta's mind/soul. (Well this is sounding familiar, isn't it 3h fans?)

But amid all this, there's the matter of Benerit's leadership. Without Delling, they need someone to control the various corporate beasts so it's decided they'll hold an election. Awfully democratic of them tbh. Though I wager leadership might boil down to whoever can crush hardest in a Mobile Suit royale.

We know Shaddiq will be throwing his hat in the ring, as will our prodigal failson Guel by the looks of it. Speaking of, I wish he had a bigger moment with his brother but maybe later? Their surprise was pretty good, and I enjoyed Guel's talk with Petra. She's grown up quite a bit from the shallow bully/fangirl of the first season.

Moving on to Mio, I went nuts over this shot. Suletta is fulfilling all her promises!! Even cleaned her disaster area of a room and messaging three times per day. She's unnervingly good at following directions tbh.

Adored this so much too. Lauda is grateful to GUNDARM for their aid and subsequently clears them of suspicion in the terrorist attacks. He goes out of his way to say Mio is free from the dueling games too, but Mio could care less about that petty nonsense. Her heart and mind is set on Suletta.

Quick mention to Secilia for being the most relatable person in the show. She just wants to sit on this god forsaken couch, watch the drama, and see who'll be Miorine's husbando. She's so funny, I swear.

And ofc we get spacian/earthian hostility in the wake of the attacks. You can't blame these kids for being scared and lashing out at the nearest targets but also Earth House was clearly not involved and aiding students during. Even Lauda of all people can understand that. They are grieving for a friend apparently which just complicates the situation further. Sad for all tbh

Martin steps up to defend his housemates, which was nice to see, but it's Mio who is able to shut down their hostility with a clever bit of blackmail. She's so cool and taking no one's guff this season

Nika had a brief interaction with Sabina, but it was insightful. We understand Sabina's loyalty to Shaddiq now as she's an earthian who was taken in by Grassley. Like Nika, she wants to become a bridge for spacians and earthians. Their methods contrast Nika's but they're all coming from the same place. Sabina is anyway. Shaddiq is a bit more inscutable.

Detective Mio is exploring all avenues in her quest and the space assembly league are all too happy to collaborate. They all find Shin Sei and Prospera suspicious, it seems. Valid observation. She does manage to locate Nika, sorta, and brings that information back to the others.

Mio is so adorable when Earth House thanked her for everything. This is probably the first time in years people appreciate who she is on her own merits and formed bonds that aren't conditional or tied to her father. It was just a really wholesome moment. Ah I love her and Earth House! Especially after hearing that first drama cd sketch.

Shout out to Till for shipping these two like the rest of us. Solid wingman right there. Poor Suletta doesn't quite know where they stand after all this time and doesn't want to be a nuisance, but still desperate to show Mio her dedication.

Just look at this pathetic puppy face 🥺

Only a monster could say no to that look, and luckily for her Mio is an understanding and loving bride.

Prospera Jumpcare. Watch out y'all, this one has a mean bite. Her showing up suddenly was unnerving. For the love of all that is holy, never do this again lady. Creeping me out somethin fierce.

HOO BOOOY where to begin? So 5lan was rejected from Aerial immediately, unlike when Eri was humoring El4n and Mio. Is this a sign she's grown in power or just fed up with 5lan's gremlin antics? Could be a combo of both! I take this as confirmation there were multiple failed clones/instances of Eri and Suletta was the lone sucess. The others look Eri's age. 12 of them in total, making Suletta unlucky 13.

I kinda felt sorry for 5lan here, cause he has a right to want to live and not be a tool but also... I don't like him and wish him nothing but misery for being a creep + striking Bel, who I do love. Poor Bel is not having a good week in between Prospera's guilting and now 5lan's.

And we finally arrive at THE SCENES we've been waiting for. It's so wonderfully tense but also tentatively hopeful at the start. Suletta who wants nothing more than to bridge the gap and Mio who wants the same.

Mio starts off with an empathetic apology, stating she understands Suletta's choice in ep12 even if it was traumatic for her. But the reconciliation derailed the moment Suletta declares her mother was right after all. She did the right thing. Run gain one, move forward and gain two.

Mio is galvanized by this logic and hastens to ask Suletta how she can smile at something so terrible. She might understand why Suletta killed for her sake, but she doesn't get how Suletta can just blindly accept everything is ok; that murder was right. Then Mio goes directly in, striving to make Suletta understand. She presses her about her mother, asking if Suletta would do anything. Including giving up her dream for Mercury or killing again.

Her answer, while terrible, is yes. To all of it. Suletta would forfeit the school for Mercury. Would kill again at the behest of her mother. Would do anything so long as her mother said it was right.

Suletta only sees the positives. She got to go to school, have friends, and meet Miorine who she loves. All because she moved forward at her mother's demand. It's horrifying but it makes perfect sense why she would think this way. It's clear from her anxious gestures she's not wholly oblivious to the horror either, but deems her discomfort inconsequential when she gains so much from obeying.

Hearing this speech is the breaking point for Mio who dashes away, leaving a forlorn Suletta to gaze after her. And we're swiftly shown what exactly she has on her mind

This scene was electric from the start. Someone is finally calling out Prospera's manipulation and while she's unflappable as always you have to admire Mio's fire. She wants Suletta to be freed and doesn't care a whit what Prospera thinks.

GOOOOOD this quote. We know Mio loves Suletta genuinely but Prospera only sees her 'daughter' as a tool to be tossed around and used by others. Her phrasing is disgusting in this exchange. 'She's a good little girl, isn't she?' *shivers*

Prospera proceeds to lay her cards on the table and is amazingly forthright, declaring her intent. She reveals her hungry fixation for vengeance and 21 yr long grudge against Delling.

Ngl it's pretty hilarious that Mio doesn't mind the idea of these adults killing themselves fighting each other so long as she and Suletta are left alone. Mio in protective wife mode fr.

It's not that easy however, as Prospera coerces Miorine to help her with QZ. And the first step is to become president of the Benerit group. Miomio for President 2023!! Will she find a loophole from this dire situation? Cast your votes now as we await what becomes of our stellar cast until the next Suletta Sunday~

#gundam witch from mercury #g witch #sulemio #miorine rembran #suletta mercury #prospera mercury #belmeria winston #nika nanaura #g witch spoilers #g witch episode 16 #suletta x miorine #you can do it Mio!!#it's rough being the dueteragonist

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numptypylon · 1 year

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Illustrations of scenes from my old fanfic, Home Free (modern au housemates-to-lovers indie romcom kinda thing), because I had a very clear mental image of Callum’s pivotal human disaster moment, but at the time I was lacking the skills to illustrate it, I tried and didn’t like what I did. So this is like a gift to 2021 me.

Callum put his icecream in the noodle bucket because you need that cardboard bucket to properly wallow and the tomyum residue was just bonus self-flagellation for the foot-in-mouth romantic confession that preceded this. The moon phase snuggie is Rayla’s. It smelled like her. He wallows like a CHAMP!

Rayla watches him sleep after he passes out, the love is very much requited, they’re just idiots.

#rayllum #rayla #callum #tdp #the dragon prince #numpty art tag #numpty fic tag #cottage cuddles au #home free

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sensitiveheartless · 7 months

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will you be updating the Tales of the moving detective agency(sorry if I got the title wrong)? I absolutely loved the story and it was such a good read. I'd love to see more content from it, short drabbles or little stories. But I loved the work so much, thank you!!!!

Ah, yes, I will! :D (Thank you, I’m really happy you enjoyed it!!)

I have a handful of things planned — there’s gonna be an epilogue, followed by a sort of in-between story which I think I’m gonna call “Rimbaud and the Man of Many Ways”, and then a sequel that’ll be called “Chuuya and the Castle in the Air”. I’ve been slowly working on the epilogue for ages alskdjfj things just keep happening to make it difficult 😭 I was just starting to make progress on it again recently, and then the universe bonked me with Covid and I lost all braincells for writing — gotta say, that is some impressive fatigue that comes with the plague, I’m still not quite back to regular energy levels O_O (getting there though!)

But yeah, I still very much intend to write the extras! It’ll just take me a little bit to get to then all alsksjdjf (epilogue has to get finished first for setup reasons) plus I also want to write a handful of scenes from the main story from Dazai’s perspective at some point, because I love the angsty disaster man!

Some good news is that I got really fired up to work on it again this week, because I got to see Howl’s Moving Castle in a theater for the first time ever and it was so FUN!! and I came very close to tears multiple times even though I’ve already watched the movie over and over again — I think somehow writing the howl AU has made me more attached to the source material than ever, which is quite a feat! I’m also reading the book aloud with one of my housemates, which is a delight ;; (and good practice for me because I am not the best at speaking and tend to stammer lol)

All that said, thank you very much for the interest, it’s really nice to hear that people are still invested in the followup stuff!! :’D

#it’s also good to know that there would be potential interest in shorter little things as well…#because honestly I would love to just write little snippets of domesticity sometimes #in other news I remain obsessed with the backgrounds in ghibli movies #they’re so PRETTY *flips table*#ask box #howl’s moving castle au #senhart rambles

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gnomeniche · 2 years

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[hitting them with the humanization beam]

i know i’ve humanized them before but i wanted to actually make some cleaner and colored pics of them! also human/normal world au stuff beneath the cut if you want it (even tho these humanizations are not au-exclusive. i use them wherever i want).

yellow owns the house. roy, his rich, neglectful producer dad, let him have it to get him out of his hair.

he lets the other two live with him for free because he’s lonely. which would be a red flag from anyone who wasn’t as genuinely nice as yellow. he’s SO jazzed to have new friends but the other two are staying there because they are broke as hell. eventually they all end up friends anyway.

yellow is the youngest one and still in college (roy is paying for it), and the other two are around the same age and have been graduated for a few years now. red was a film major, duck was a business major (with extremely okay grades), and yellow is studying programming and struggling. not bc he’s bad at it! he just has unmedicated adhd, but that means he’s been there for a few years longer than he thinks he should have been. it frustrates him.

even though red and duck are graduated they are ALSO struggling. red wants to work on children’s television but he is Bad at networking because he can’t seem to do social scenarios correctly. duck is trying to get some kind of job but he’s bad at adapting to new situations so he can’t hold one down. don’t worry guys you’ll get there eventually. but right now red makes weird experimental youtube shorts and duck is trying to do something online as a side hustle. maybe he has a blog or something where he posts his very dramatic and very bad opinions. for 8000 a month he will stop. he almost gets into crypto except yellow and red slowly and patiently explain why it’s bad.

“what about the teachers?” lesley is a work friend of roy’s and used to own the house until he bought it off her. she shows up from time to time just to see how things are going and she always brings one of her weirdo friends with her and it always ends in disaster. but she herself gets along with the trio okay. maybe she just brings her weirdo friends over because she thinks it’s funny. she MIGHT be yellow’s biomom but she’ll never tell.

segueing into family situations from that. yellow never knew his mom and only had roy but has been very neglected by him; roy pays for whatever he needs, but he otherwise doesn’t care very much about his son or give any kind of love. red has a family but they don’t really like him and he knows the family business would crush his soul so he’s out on his own. duck didn’t know his parents and was a foster kid who just kind of aged out of the system.

duck ended up at the same high school as red one year and they used to smoke weed together after class. try and keep up maaaaate. red does not remember this but duck thinks this makes red his best friend. it is pure coincidence that they ended up as housemates. once red remembers this he is mortified that his embarrassing teen self might have been duck’s gay awakening.

they are all neurodivergent. yellow knows he’s autistic but doesn’t know he has adhd. red knows he’s probably neurodivergent but doesn’t want to get diagnosed bc he thinks what is the point at this point. duck thinks he’s neurotypical.

yellow is bi with transmasc swag (he/him). red is nonbinary (he/they) and likes men. duck is a cis man (he/him) but he’s also extremely gay.

edit 10/16: more au thoughts

edit 10/17: weird things yellow has done in his life

#dhmis #dhmis au #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #fanart #doodle #artists on tumblr #mine #dhmis normal au #am.png

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ewesless · 16 days

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Goof Up Poll #1

Who left their chocolate chips for baking cookies with on the counter top when the dishwasher was running and melted 1/3 or more of the bag?

Okay, I'm going to do something a little different with this one. Drabbles! I mean, definitely vote your vote, but hear me out?

Why Solomon? He's a disaster in the kitchen, but he also is going to add some cayenne and powdered goji berries for a kick and healthy superfood twist. SOMEHOW the bag of chocolate chips melted and turnes into a solid brick. Oh well chocolate melts and evenly distributes, right? Especially with a torch! It also adds a delightfully, extra crunchy texture to the thick, flavorful crust (I'm woefully unimaginative compared to the Magic Master Chef :( These abominations would be safely removed by a stab happy, hazardous materials disposal specialist named Raphael.

Why Simeon? He's canonically a cute, old, out of touch ditz and enjoys cooking thoughtful recipes for his housemates. He would definitely keep some sweet snacky stuff like mini packs of M&M's or other hard shelled candies like Reese's Pieces as pick me ups and for Packed Lunches. So he would have a batch with cinnamon chips or butterscotch chips too. Apart from being specialized for the palate of the recipient he would put them in adorable bags with personalized labels written in his elegant script. Leviathan framed his tag, begged the others for theirs as rare memorabilia collectables and Mammon sold him his at a steep price...which he paid for on the spot. 6/7 SECURED. When he learned that Beel ate his which was devastating he demanded Beel regurgitate it OR ELSE. Fear the taste of his spicy newt chip dust fingers!!

Why Luke? Poor kid doesn't have his emotional regulation under control yet :( (I say as an old fart who doesn't either) He would be upset and also discover that the baking powder was expired and that the flour was contaminated by Solomon making his cursed pancakes so this was actually a blessing in disguise? Feeling unnerved but lucky he'd go to the store (with ??? as his chaperone, but I think he shops alone too?) and while there he would have a nice distraction by seeing inspiration for cupcakes or other little baked goods for next time. When he gets home he gets back into his groove and bakes a great batch of cookies! He calls his comfort friends and after a vent session he feels better and they suggest baking together. "How about Snickerdoodles?" He likes thick and chewy big ol' bakery style cookies.

Why Diavolo? There was a chat where he was part of a sleep away exchange at HoL (Lucifer wouldn't let him room with him 😓) and when he baked he had eggshells in it. He mistook salt for sugar and made perfectly spherical cookies in Nightbringer (they pair well with Demonus.) Diavolo's Salty Balls if Barbatos wasn't lurking nearby he would not think twice about eating the forbidden raw cookie dough and will pay the price for it tomorrow. If Barbatos was observing/teaching he would all of a sudden discover that his errors or mistakes would be magically fixed (Because sometimes Barbatos CANNOT ABIDE Diavolo making or learning from mistakes. He just can't help himself sometimes either, like a compulsion 😔) He likes crisp chocolate chip cookies, which is fortunate because that was exactly what he got.

Okay this one I have been waiting for. I am no better than the plot writers with Lucifer 😂

Why Barbatos? Barbatos does not have a dishwasher machine (he is the dishwasher) even as of OM (it was mentioned in a Sweets Masters chat that I forgot the name of 🥲) so imagine with me if you will that he was not aware that they radiate heat outside of the machine, not just in your face when you open it before the drying cycle is finished...

He has been enjoying THE HELL out of his new dishwasher this week. He's in a good mood, the Little D staff are miraculously well behaved despite now having 2+ hours freed up from no longer washing dishes by hand. Hm... (give them more breaks, please. Rest and recess is good for productivity, workplace rapport and emotional health.)

Today the Young Master's treat shall be his own recipe for Decadent Devildom Chocolate Chip Cookies.

While the ingredients are warming to room temperature he does the dirty dishes that were brought in shamefacedly by Little D no. 4 that he had hidden in the library while he was binge reading...5 days worth of them. That's forgivable because he now has an excuse to run his beautiful, large scale industrial dishwasher again! What he doesn't realize though is that it would heat the countertop. It melted his butter and chocolate chips.

Not missing a beat he melts the chocolate down in a double boiler and chills it in the refrigerator on a baking sheet (They had a refrigerator already. One mention is in the Barbatos chat that I forgot the name of with Diavolo's Opaque Mysterious Refrigerated Container) while it chills and the butter warms *properly* on a unheated surface. He goes and monitors Diavolo, anticipates that he may need to scold him. Surprisingly Diavolo is ahead of schedule! Inspection of the Little D's reveals that they have performed well above standard (because as stated R and R is goodddd) Wow....all is going well today!

The result is Chunky Chopped Chocolate Chip Cookies! Milk and Cookies for everyone to reward them for their hard work and a sweet happy ending!

Edit: Proofread your insomnia writing 6x. Better yet read it out loud! Or else you will be like me and gnash your teeth over forgotten words, disorganized sentence structure and typoes that you're still finding the next day and too tired to fully fix.

I love my super fun run on sentences and adjective overkill 😂 They make me oddly happy.

#useless poll #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me simeon #useless writing

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steddie-fanfic-recs · 1 month

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Wait! Who’s straight?!

by KayleeofCamelot

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Chrissy Cunningham, Jim "Chief" Hopper, Joyce Byers, Jeff (Stranger Things), Gareth (Stranger Things) Additional Tags: Original Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Alternate Universe - College/University, Roommates, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Sharing a Room, Steve Harrington-centric, Dialogue Heavy, Romantic Comedy, Swimmer Steve Harrington, Teacher Steve Harrington, Musician Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson is a Dungeon Master (Dungeons & Dragons), Background Relationships, Minor Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham, Platonic Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Lesbian Robin Buckley, Queer Chrissy Cunningham, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Oblivious Eddie Munson, Gay Disaster Eddie Munson, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Eventual Smut, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Mutual Pining, Bad Date (not Steddie), Pipe Break, Smut tags, Loss of Virginity, Virgin Eddie Munson, First Time, Non-Penetrative Sex, Dry Humping, Coming In Pants, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Sharing a Bed, one bed, Accidental Cuddling Words: 17,780 Chapters: 1/1

Summary

When Steve gets into university on a full sports scholarship he is excited, to say the least. Without his dad’s money though, he’s forced to compensate for the cheapest accommodation: a student’s dorm with shared rooms. It’s not as bad as it sounds, at first. But as time goes on, his handsome roommate Eddie gets more and more obnoxious. He’s practically forcing Steve out of their shared room by either loud music, D&D meetings, deafening alarms or something else. It’s crystal clear he doesn’t want Steve around; until a pipe breaks and floods their apartment, forcing them to face each other, work together and more. Or: A story about two idiots, a dragging misunderstanding, Eddie acting like a feral cat, a broken pipe and one bed

#steddie #steddie fic rec #oneshot #10-25k #au modern #au no upside down #au college #roommates #musician eddie #enemies to lovers #misunderstandings #mutual pining #bed sharing

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suffersinfandom · 6 months

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So I’m loving season two. Like, a lot. I told my housemate who didn’t, for some reason, stay up until 2:01 in the morning to watch episodes four and five as they dropped that they were the best damn television I’ve ever enjoyed, and I stand by that! But there’s something bothering me, and I know I’m not alone in this:

Izzy’s been accepted into the Revenge crew and Ed hasn’t, and that doesn’t feel fair. (I’m not talking about whether or not it’s right, okay? That’s a whole different ramble. This is about feelings!)

OFMD emphasizes the importance of community—of finding people who will accept you for who you are, of belonging to something. Season one focused on Stede creating something kinder than your traditional macho, hyper-violent pirate community on the Revenge, as well as on Ed realizing that he wants in on that.

(And Ed does try to get in on that! After he thinks Stede has abandoned him—and after he gets the initial breakup moping out of the way—he turns to the crew. He likes being Ed; he wants to learn how to be Ed even without Stede in the picture, and he thinks that Ed could have a place in the community that Stede left behind. No, that community isn’t a fix for all of his issues; he’s still troubled. He’s not better, but he wants to get better. Izzy’s confrontation—you’re better off dead than like this, you’d better watch your fucking step—is the spark that ignites the powder keg that is Ed’s unresolved trauma. In the wake of this, the crew chanting and calling for “Eddie” to give them another song sounds like mockery. It sounds like hostility, and Ed only knows how to respond to hostility with violence. That violence destroys the community that could have supported Ed as he healed.)

In season two, Izzy is straight up bullied into the community that Stede brought about. He doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t deserve to be there, but this isn’t about what Izzy deserves: it’s about how the crew thinks people should be treated. It’s about showing love to people who have messed up even if they aren’t sorry and tell you to fuck off. And I think that’s lovely! Izzy’s fun when he’s a playful asshole and not actively harmful like he was in season one. Rehabilitating that angry chihuahua into something that won’t bite anyone’s hand off is very sweet.

But wow, it hurts to see Ed banished from the community that took Izzy in.

And to be fair, I don’t blame the crew. They had very different relationships to Izzy and Ed in season one: Izzy was an asshole who bossed them around, and Ed was someone they accepted as a friend. In season two, Ed is the monster who terrorized them and Izzy is just another victim. I get it!

And, like… I don’t hate Izzy. If I hadn’t watched season one, I’d probably even like season two Izzy. He’s pathetic and wet and hilarious. But I remember the way Izzy lied to Ed, insulted him, undermined him, betrayed Stede, bought Ed, and ultimately threatened Ed right back into the only defense he knows. No, Izzy isn’t solely responsible for the Kraken’s reign of terror—Ed is troubled, he has a fuckton of issues and trauma to work through—but Izzy bears some blame! And honestly? Even with all of that, I’m tempted to be okay with season two Izzy. He is at least aware of his role in the disaster that was the Kraken era, and subtly took accountability for it. That’s very cool, but it still doesn’t feel great, you know?

It doesn’t feel great because Izzy did absolutely nothing to get where he is. He didn’t become some kind of benevolent protector of the crew between seasons one and two; he didn’t try to become a part of this community that he scoffed at in the first season. He was rehabilitated, not redeemed.

It doesn’t feel great because Ed still isn’t welcome and he’s trying. Yeah, okay that silly not-quite-an-apology speech that Stede absolutely made up for him wasn’t all that great, but it was more of an attempt than Izzy’s made! And Ed has made himself intensely vulnerable in meeting the terms of his probation. He has agreed to get rid of his armor and his ability to move undetected. He’s trying to physically repair the ship that he damaged. He’s welcoming retributive justice, which is kind of fucked up (and, as Lucius found out, not always that helpful), but it’s the best he has.

(I think it’s important that the only instance of anyone actually apologizing with words—outside of Stede to Ed when he thought Ed was dead—is when Ed is fishing with Fang. Pirates don’t really apologize with words, they make things even by getting revenge. It’s violence for violence. Something about how Ed’s apologizing for an emotional wrong here, something about a budding friendship between Ed and Fang, something something.)

What am I getting at? I don’t fucking know. I don’t blame the crew for domesticating Izzy against his will while turning away from Ed based on what they saw and went through. I’m just sad for Ed. I want him to have the love and support of a community that accepts him as he wants to be, not as who he thinks he has to be to keep from drowning.

A teeny little addition, because I totally neglected to say this: I'm not at all worried about whether or not all of this will be wrapped up by the end of the season. We've still got three episodes to go! This is just a thing that's been gnawing away at my brain.

Anyway, here’s some neat meta that’s written way better than whatever the hell this is:

How Izzy’s whole thing isn’t really about Izzy by forpiratereasons

No, really, it's not about Izzy by asneakyfox

Delicious meta about Izzy’s “redemption” arc by asneakyfox

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #stede bonnet #izzy critical #even though it really isn't i don't think #none of this makes sense but i need it out of my head #ofmd s2 spoilers

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january-summers · 5 months

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I just made myself giggle, and I’ve decided to share why and make it everyone’s problem >:3c

I kind of have this crack treated seriously AU that’s been floating in the back of my brain on an off for a while and it goes like this:

The alpha team from PFL (plus who ever makes it funnier) end up in a simulation of what we might consider a modern au, or at least a sitcom america suburbia version of a modern au.

How? Uhhhh, they were exploring possible forerunner ruins and Santa’s cousin never finished their system set up so their trials are, uhm, whatever I need them to be.

Anyway, in suburbia land Carolina and York are the newly wed couple who have just moved into the area (or cul de sac, we can put them on a dead end street) which is densely populated by the other Freelancers.

Wyoming and Florida live together.

(So do Washington and Maine because I still ship it damnit!)

They start to realise none of this is real and that they’re trapped but all attempts to forcibly wake others or escape end in escapades.

So on and so forth, and everyone gets to (is forced to by the simulation which makes them think this is real life) use their pre-PFL names.

Now, not all of them have names which we know, some we often fill in with head canons or borrowed headcanons, like I picked up Mattias for Maine from a fic and it stuck in my head, and I like Kathrine (Kathy) or Caroline for Carolina but then I realised I couldn’t remember if I knew if York had a name or not.

And this is why I was giggling:

My brain threw out the option “Newton York.”

How do they get out of there? Either my best adult ass man boy Wash is able to notice some stuff and find Santa’s cousin and ask them to knock it off. Or after a series of hilarious hijinks the street finally makes it to the big local festival which they have to save from disaster (normal sitcom disaster like vodka in the free punch, missing decorations/leading act, a stolen prize winning plant/animal) and the credits roll on their season finale because all they had to do was make it there without anyone dying which almost happened.

Santa’s cousin was just bored and wanted to play Suburbs & Sitcoms, the lamest of D&D variations.

… also I kind of need most of the Freelancers to take a ridiculously long time to realise that Maine’s “housemate” David, is Washington because he doesn’t take his helmet off very often and they were all convinced Wash is at least 7 years younger than he actually is.

#rvb #red vs blue #january’s crack bunny problem strikes again #agent york #agent carolina #agent washington #agent maine #project freelancer

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