#this actually tore me apart

[radio-venom]

no. listen. a twin fight is different. you’re the same, you’re nothing like them, you’re enemies, you know each other better than anyone, you will never understand them, you’ve been compared since birth, you’re each other’s oldest companion, you’d kill each other, you’d kill for each other, you’re each other’s reflection, you know everything that’s hurts them the most and you can tear them to shreds better than anyone on earth and they can do the same to you. you are hurting yourself.

#this is about trigun lmfao #apply this to whatever twins you want tho lol #it’s also about me and my twin irl #trigun #yes it was a sibling fight but a twin fight is different it’s so hard to understand unless you have a twin #you’ve been at the exact same stage of everything every moment of your life #you have almost a psychic understanding #you want to kill them for what they did to you or rather what your circumstances made you do to each other #you are both each other and so far removed from each other your relationship to them sickens you #trigun got the twin fight right #nai is dead you killed him killed vash more than actually killing him could #i don’t hate my twin anymore but we tore each other apart as kids #lol sorry kelsey #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #millions knives

[thefloatingstone]

Remembered this song from a boss fight early on in NieR Automata, during which a cult of robots had come together to pantomime the concept of religion. (the robots in the game are all trying to strive for a sense of purpose in being alive by mimicking behaviour of humans who have by now gone extinct but there's not enough time to go into all of that here).

And this cult of robots come to the conclusion that their version of gods if they follow the human translation of the word is "the creator" which to them are organic beings. And so if they are pantomiming religion in an effort to find purpose in being alive, then through the practice of religion you are supposed to ascend to a higher state of being equal to that of the gods.

And so, if you are a robot and your creator is an organic being, what is it that separates you from your creator? That is of course the realities of being an organic being, and being tied to the reality that being organic means having to die one day.

And so this robot cult comes to the conclusion that to ascend to a higher state of being is to become as gods, and for a robot to become as a god, their creator, is to ascend to that of organic being, and to do so is to embrace what separates machine from organic which is death.

And therefore, to die is to become god.

And then they all attack you and this song plays called "become as gods". Which includes the robot cult chant of "We'll all die together and become as gods" while the choir chants in the fictional language of the NieR series which is its OWN separate dump of lore, but which is roughly labelled and understood as "The language of the gods". That being a weird translation of the GATTACA code which makes up human DNA.

....

NieR Automata is a good game. It's one of only 2 games that managed to make me bawl my eyes out at the end. Not for a story reason, but for how the game directly connects you with every other human being who has played the exact same game and the concept of sacrifice to help another in ways I don't want to spoil because if you've never played and finished the true ending of NieR Automata there is nothing in this world that will prepare you for its ending and I would not dare to spoil that for you.

Anyway I rambled a lot but it was needed to explain the full force of this song for you to understand why it's not only a banger but a banger with some deep fucking WEIGHT behind it.

(btw this is genuinely unrelated I just remembered at time of post it's the Steam Summer Sale and Nier Automata is 50% off right now but that was not the point of this post)

#NieR Automata #music #Video games #this game fucking ruined me #I finished it in 2020 I think??? #I'm still not over how it tore me apart emotionally #I'll probably never be over it #Also yes these are the kinds of video games I play between this and Mass Effect's lore #which is legit big enough to be sold as a book #I plan to print and hand bind a Mass Effect book comprised of the codex actually skdkjshjakdhas #Also yes ancient language of the gods that is actually the GATTACA code you read that correctly #the NieR games are WILD #Also Nier (not Automata) is the only game I know of with an intersex main character

[feral-teeth]

Im just thinking about that American psycho musical and how much it affected me as a person and changed who i was

Also that face he makes in the movie - i always do it like the ‘ooh’ face (it also feels like a very Canadian Jim Carrey face to make too idk it might just be my connection to it)

#feral-teeth thoughts #american psycho #i watched a bootleg of it online #and holy shit #holy fucking shit #it was so fucking good actually #it inspired me to like #get back into theatre #also currently reading the lines to audition for something called whale riding weather #and it has genuinely changed my life #like #it has reached into my soul and tore out apart of me #and my queerness #and like my butchness but also the masculine parts of being a gay man that i connect to so deeply #but didnt know i was allowed to connect with #being born female #but being so fucking nonbinary #and one part one character kissing his belly #the character i was reading as #and in my mind it like #healed the parts of myself that hated myself #and my size and my belly #i really am craving to be in this role with my whole life and body #and i think i would actually lose it if i dont get to play in this role #so please #pray for me and send good vibes for me to get this role #or maybe that night was enough #me reading the play and acting it out in my head in the dark of my bedroom #playing pretend in the black box theatre in my mind #im scared that my autism and my awkwardness is going to keep me from performing at my best

[tenitchyfingers]

Aw man, I just rewatched Two of Us. They really made a movie out of a McLennon fanfic. Bless.

#really enjoyed it #I did already watch it once a long time ago #I just didn’t remember fuck #I thought some dialogue choices were a bit too forced and written in for an audience of casuals #but a lot of other dialogue choices surprised me with how they trusted the audience to know some other things #the ending kinda tore me apart though #like damn at least in a fictional context MAY WE PLEASE have a reunion?? #ugh #anyway this is the only Beatles movie that did it right #treated both John and Paul like actual human beings #I just didn’t like Aidan Quinn’s wig #looked nothing like any haircut Paul had at the time #and also I’m still not over Paul saying he liked the movie #rpf is fine fellas

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I'm just... so done with fandom shipping as a whole. Y'all are the worst and need to take a chill pill.

#three fandoms i'm in right now are driving me nuts. one worse than the others but still #and. i mean. these three fandoms are known as some of the WORST for shipping: like where shipping nearly tore the fandom apart and i knew #that. so i always knew it could get bad. but me being in all three fandoms and them all getting kind of bad again: why? #but the one is REALLY bad. the one that had a resurgence lately. i don't even know HOW you get that bad. but STOP #...i don't know why i'm being so vague. maybe i should just call them out. especially the worst one i'm talking about here #ffvii fandom you are the worst! doxing people over fictional ships is NOT okay!!! #and harassing the actual creators! #like (this was with remake i think) but nojima was worried the yakuza might come after him because of one person's threats? wtf?

[cozy-phantom]

MBAV SOUTH PARK CROSSOVER FANFIC?!!?!????????!!!!

#not actually #some book they tore apart for an art thing lol #mbav #my babysitter's a vampire #rory keaner #betty weir #benny weir #heidi turner #heidi sp #jimmy valmer #jimmy sp #south park #me

[dictee]

i dont like lesmand and im trying to justify it to myself but its literally just bc I am upset when it is not about louis 😔

#Well also i think it makes me really sad for armand. bc its so clearly a proxy marius thing happening #and i dont think lestat needed the ego boost of MORE people begging for his dick. but alas its in the text #and it IS incredibly interesting actually #My savior who came to tear my life apart but if the savior who tore ur life apart just did it accidentally. without even really caring to #Hm #Also i HATE the idea that ppl seem to have that armand only loves louis as a proxy for lestat that is NOT in the books #its his interaction w lestat and his becoming more like lestat that draw him to louis and louis's humanity

[woahajimes]

crying

#my grandma's dog passed and she changed her profile picture on whatsapp to a picture of her dog when she first got him 14 years ago #she hadn't changed that picture in over 10 years when her mother passed and she changed it to a picture of the two #that tore me apart actually

[aria0fgold]

Will forever love and adore the game Ib, it's the very first rpgmaker horror game I've played and it has a very special place in my heart. On that same note, it's also very funny how my memories of playing this in the past was all bout how scary the game was but now that I've revisited it, it actually aint even scary bro.

#ariaplays #ariaplays: Ib #a short and nice experience #miiiight go back and get the other endings and check out the area that unlocks during a second playthrough #went with garry's happy ending. love him so much #felt so bad for mary tho.... maaaan... its either garry or mary and im so sorry mary but garry... #i remember back then as a kid i hated mary sooo much cuz the first ending i got was her happy ending #and it tore my heart apart seeing garry slowly die. the part where he just told ib he'll just be sleeping for awhile like bro... #i know you aint bro... bro you're gonna die arent you... the moment you close your eyes youll be dead arent you.... broo.... #ya best believe young me couldnt rest at all until i get garry's happy ending #and after a few days. i started thinkin more bout mary and i was like: actually... she aint rlly that bad... #and yea she rlly aint shes just a really lonely kid who wants to get outta the gallery and eat sweets and have friends #sad that theres no ending where both garry and mary could leave with ib... #also ive ingrained some fanlyrics for the character themes so much back then that i still remember it a bit today #hearing garry's theme and im like: if you ever feel scared or lost-- #for mary's theme it'll be like: welcome to my world that's painted with sadness--

[fantome-sans-opera]

"Metal fans scare me"

Well yeah Melanie, you walked straight into the mosh pit.

Seriously, metal crowds are wild, but they also are the best.

Got to see an awesome band yesterday, and the one thing that hyped us up lore than any other song were the three plush chickens we were throwing around and up to the balconies.

The band you ask? Dragon Force.

They still got interrupted in their INTRODUCTION by a chant for the chickens.

#also don't me be #Listen to what bands come before the actual concerts #or risk it #Sometimes you end up with boring bands #sometimes it ends with italian power metal??? in a low cost imperaonation of the Village People and one dressed as an owl having #some animal tore the chicken's leg apart tho #twice #power metal #Dragon Force #metal concert

[bubblebear5000]

not sure how i feel about the knox/charlie placement but i made smth

i've decided meeks and pitts are the two definites and if you disagree you're wrong

#dead poets society #dps #neil perry #todd anderson #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #steven meeks #gerard pitts #texting #this movie actually tore me apart #but what tore me apart more #was the edits #oh my gosh #i swear to god

[greenreticule]

this moment transformed every fucking thing for me.

#darth maul #obi wan kenobi #domino meme with the littlest domino being The Catch #and then there are a thousand different positive things that came from this one goddamn moment #i'm in a better place and i am a better person because this grabbed me by the throat #and went 'get in loser. we're processing shit' #i tore apart this episode wrote 60 thousand words trying to understand what it did to me #and because of those essays i met people who have become some of my closest friends and made me a better person #because of this moment i realized i had childhood trauma and started therapy to actually deal with my shit #because i went to therapy to deal with my shit i learned how to set boundaries how to deconstruct harmful shit i had learned #because of those essays i had the language to explore and learn that oh fuck i'm trans #I GOT TOP SURGERY BECAUSE OBI-WAN KENOBI CRADLED MAUL AS HE DIED #uncaptioned

[undercoverwu]

Heartstopper.

#it tore me apart actually #the aroace rep!! the whole time i was like THATS SO ME it was incredibly relatable #i watched it with my friends and in the beginning we were laughing and joking and it was great #AND THEN ep 8 comes along and we’re SILENT #SOMBER #practically cried for half an hour lmao #anyways watch the new season!! #alice oseman #heartstopper #heartstopper season 2

[theygender]

Do you know what the only thing worse than looking over while laying on the couch and seeing a 3 inch long fucking roach crawl in front of your face is? Walking into the other room to ask your gf to smash it and coming back to find out that the roach is gone

#weve seen tiny roaches in our apartment. like under a centimeter. but there has NEVER been one that fucking huge #and there is NO WAY it got anywhere far in the 5 seconds it took me to get my gf #that thing was so huge it was just ambling along like a fucking giant sloth. i dont think it could have run if it wanted to #my cat swatted at it and it just kept walking at the same fucking glacial pace #kept walking AT her actually. sivir LOVES to catch bugs and she backed the fuck away from it like it was gonna get her #so i know she didnt eat it both bc of that AND bc it would have been too big to fucking fit in her mouth #we tore all the pillows off the couch. looked under it behind it and everything but no dice #i will never feel safe again #rambling #guess im putting in a maintenance request for 'i just saw a three inch long fucking roach on my couch' #bc the quarterly bug spray they have the exterminator do was apparently not fucking enough to kill this goddamn behemoth

[larrythefloridaman]

CPU Kerfuffle Season One: A Fraught and Surprisingly Emotionally Resonant Gay Divorce. also a demon is there too i guess

#i have all sorts of thoughts on these two. the divorce happened not because dadendorf wanted to but because he had to put his foot down #it tore their family apart. it made their son wish he was dead- especially hurtful since Jimbo's biological parents actually are. #he watched his husband succumb to evil for the sake of clinging to power and renown as champion #all the while still in love with him as hes forced to harden his heart and oppose him. #the fucking DRAMA of it all!!!!!! it makes me fucking lose it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #the rekindling of what they had before after Hamhel's come to his senses and Dadondorf holds his ground #taking things slow- because Hamhel fucked up big time! he cant just waltz right back in like it was nothing! #but the joy too. the joy that the man he loved is back- even if some of his old rogueishly charming tendencies now grate on him #because they remind him of what went wrong. and how things wont ever be quite the same again. #but maybe thats a good thing. maybe theyre stronger for it. hes willing to hope so. theyre engaged again after all. #i wonder when the second wedding is dadondorf called hamhel his fiance in blue but its Been A Bit Now #man. #*blows kiss* for dadondorf. your emotional strength is un fucking matched #again the terrible is in the 'theyre disasters' sense but hamhel is also just the normal kind of terrible (affectionate)

[yousaytomato]

experiencing an emotion called: BITE

#if i bit into something and tore it apart with my teeth it would fix me rn #like. someones throat #or maybe those silicon torsos they use to test weapons #u know. the Guillermo del torro ones #orrr. like a glow stick. would also help #woes of emily #ask to tag #part of this is depression and frustration #and part of it is being actually genuinely hungry for the first time in 3 days #which. well maybe the depression was a part of that one too