#i don’t hate my twin anymore but we tore each other apart as kids

[radio-venom]

no. listen. a twin fight is different. you’re the same, you’re nothing like them, you’re enemies, you know each other better than anyone, you will never understand them, you’ve been compared since birth, you’re each other’s oldest companion, you’d kill each other, you’d kill for each other, you’re each other’s reflection, you know everything that’s hurts them the most and you can tear them to shreds better than anyone on earth and they can do the same to you. you are hurting yourself.

#this is about trigun lmfao #apply this to whatever twins you want tho lol #it’s also about me and my twin irl #trigun #yes it was a sibling fight but a twin fight is different it’s so hard to understand unless you have a twin #you’ve been at the exact same stage of everything every moment of your life #you have almost a psychic understanding #you want to kill them for what they did to you or rather what your circumstances made you do to each other #you are both each other and so far removed from each other your relationship to them sickens you #trigun got the twin fight right #nai is dead you killed him killed vash more than actually killing him could #i don’t hate my twin anymore but we tore each other apart as kids #lol sorry kelsey #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #millions knives

[ruewrites]

Raising Them Right

AO3

WBT

Ships: Diavolo/Lucifer (minor near the end)

Word Count: 3960

Warnings: Abandonement, Self Deprication

A/N:  Here it is! So this is the second fic that was inspired from the one angst anon that wanted to know more about Asmo’s past relationships. I really had a wonderful time writing it, and I hope you guys enjoy!

Lucifer could still remember that day. It was clear in his mind and bit at him like a viper, slowly killing a part of him that was now long lost to time. He knew that Levi and Mammon remembered as well. Maybe Satan. But Asmo and the twins? Not so much. Regardless, he knew it had toyed with his brothers in various ways. Forcing different insecurities and means to cope down their throats. Honestly Lucifer didn’t even get away unscathed. 

Hurt and betrayal had bubbled up in his throat as he tore their room apart. Part of him was looking for an answer of sorts. A reason. But the bigger of him wanted destruction, wanted to erase them from their lives entirely. They chose to leave, so why should they have any memory of them? 

Lilith’s room was left untouched. Lucifer boarded up the door the best he could. This made his heart ache the most. He couldn’t focus too hard on what he was doing. It wouldn’t lead to good things. He needed to keep a steady composure for his brothers. They needed someone to look up to. Someone they could rely on. 

They had all packed up and left that night. The oldest three couldn’t bear to be in the house anymore. Satan hadn’t said anything, conflict swirling within his young mind. Asmo and the twins questioned their actions slightly.

“What if they come back looking for us?”

“Are we gonna go home soon Luci?”

“What if they miss us?”

It made the situation worse. It made Lucifer’s throat tighten and his eyes burn. How could he tell them that they weren’t even going back? That that place was no longer home? That they’d been abandoned? That was how Lucifer saw it, and he could feel that Mammon was just as bitter. His teeth were clenched, trying so hard not to snap at the little ones. They didn’t know any better, and Lucifer wished he could have protected them all from this reality. 

He was helpless.

They’d travelled around for a while, until they found a small motel with a vacancy. The older three had done the math. If they worked enough, they could stay here.. He wasn’t sure who called about them, but he wasn’t surprised. Who wouldn’t have been worried about seven children of varying ages wandering around alone on their own? Honestly, it was the responsible thing to do. Even if Lucifer hated admitting to it.

Ever since that day, Lucifer fought tooth and nail for his family. He refused to let anyone take his brothers away from him, refused to let them be torn apart any more than they already were. He’d heard everything. He was too young to effectively take care of them, that the little ones would be better off in more stable households. These conversations only succeeded in making Lucifer angrier. Eventually they reached a compromise. All seven of them would move in with a family, until further notice. 

Lucifer had agreed to this, but also took it as a challenge to get them their own place as soon as he could.

***********

Lucifer had gotten the call. He put himself down as the primary contact for all of his brothers, so he always knew what was going on with them. 

Deep breaths. In. And out. 

Getting angry at Mammon rarely got him anywhere. It was just frustrating. Mammon was smart  dammit! And he was a good kid deep down. Lucifer knew this, and it made it even worse every time he heard that Mammon had acted out once more. Lucifer had apologized to his professor multiple times about not being able to show up to class, and they understood, but it didn’t make the situation any better.

Lucifer got out of the car and started the routine he’d become so accustomed too. What could it be today? Acting out in class? Snatching something off of the teacher’s desk? Stealing from the cafeteria? Oh Lucifer could only imagine.

Greeting the ladies at the front desk, Lucifer was quickly ushered back to the principal's office. Mammon was hunched over in one of the chair’s, his hoodie obscuring his face.

Suspended.

For getting into a fight with another student.

It wasn’t  a long suspension, but Lucifer still didn’t exactly know how to feel about it. There was a tense silence in the car.It got to the point where Lucifer pulled off into a parking lot and shut his car off. Mammon sank down further in the car seat.

“Would you like to explain yourself?” Lucifer hoped his voice came out even, despite the twitching he felt in his lip. 

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“It wasn’t- Mammon you got suspended.”

More silence.

“Let me see.”

“Luc-”

“Let. Me. See.”

Mammon hesitated for a moment before pulling his hoodie down and looking over at Lucifer. He had a black eye. Lucifer put his head in his hands and Mammon quickly went on to try to explain himself.

“It wasn’t my fault! These guys came along n’ they were makin fun of Levi and were tryin to take his-”

“Levi?”

Lucifer’s head perked up as he looked at Mammon. His frustration slowly melted away as he listened to his brother with new interest.

“Yeah! These guys are normally jerks, but then they started goin at our family, and messing with Levi really bad.”

Lucifer was silent for a moment before starting the car. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking up, “Is there anything you want?”

“What?”

“You know I don’t reward bad behavior Mammon,” Lucifer started, “But I don’t think I consider what you did today bad behavior.”

Mammon blinked a few times before snorting, “You sound like a dad.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Aight aight…. Thanks Lucifer. I’ll think about it.”

***********

Levi had always loved his games, and he was good at them. The time he spent on them honestly had Lucifer concerned for his eyes. They made Levi happy and Lucifer could usually hear him talking about the lore behind them or the characters when he wasn’t talking about his favorite shows or manga.

Lucifer didn't understand any of it, he didn’t pretend to. Usually he couldn’t stop the confusion that spread across his face. Understanding what Levi was trying to understand quantum physics. But Levi didn’t seem to mind, he would continue to talk, excitement rising with each word that passed through his lips. Honestly, Lucifer was fine with anything that made him happy.

As long as his brothers were happy and safe, that was all that mattered.

So when he heard sniffling from Levi’s room, Lucifer couldn’t help but investigate. The door was open ever so slightly. He peeked his head in first, eyes scanning the room and settling on a pile of blankets in the center.

He walked closer and sat down on the bed and let the silence permeate for a moment.

“Levi,” he said softly, the sniffling stopped for a moment, “Why are you crying?”

Levi didn’t say a word. Lucifer didn’t move.

“I’m not gonna do anything or amount to anything,” Levi sniffled, “I’m not good at anything. My interests are weird. I’m  just taking up space and… and-”

And Dad said so.

The unspoken words lingered like a bitter perfume in the air. Lucifer knew their father had most likely said such things to Levi, he knew that he’d probably said more to Levi and the idea made Lucifer’s blood boil. Just because his brother had interests that their parents hadn’t deemed worthwhile, it didn’t  mean that it made them any less important nor did it define his worth in any way. 

Yet the words of their abandoners still ran hot through Levi’s veins, and the idea of his own self worth suffered. 

It was despicable.

Deplorable.

“Who told you this Levi?” Lucifer asked.

The pile of blankets went quiet for a moment, “Just people…”

“Well they’re wrong,” Lucifer said, pulling the blanket down from Levi’s head, “You have plenty of talents and you have a place in this family.”

He picked up one of the controllers around them. The plastic felt awkward in his hands, and the buttons were foreign to him. Levi hadn’t moved, so Lucifer went to the next thing he could think of.

“I’d like it if you could teach me how to play.”

***********

After countless hours of research on cats, Lucifer finally made a decision. Satan had difficulties when it came to being calm. He surrounded himself with teas, and books, and music, but every now and again something (or someone) would ruin the atmosphere he worked so hard to create. Lucifer wanted to help him, he wanted him to find some sort of peace and maybe a cat was just what was needed.

Satan loved cats. Ever since he’d been young he’d had an affinity for them. Lucifer used to catch him setting out scraps for the strays outside of their old house, and maybe on more than one occasion Lucifer had left out said scraps for Satan to find. 

Cerberus was good with other animals, he’d seen the dog around cats and Lucifer didn’t think there’d be any problem with having another pet in the house. Satan was responsible and a wonderful student.  Lucifer wanted to help him and wanted to see him succeed.

“Where are we going?” Satan asked, crawling into the passenger seat. 

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

The look in his brothers eyes when he realized where they pulled up  to was one Lucifer swore he’d never forget. He asked him not to run as they got out of the car, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. He knew every cat in the shelter would be coming home with them if Satan could have his way, but they would be settling on one.

“Lucifer?”

Satan was staring into one of the pens. A small grey kitten with bright green eyes stared back. Needles to say, the soft bundle made the trip home with them. Lucifer swore that the calmest he’d ever seen Satan was when he was with that cat. He became a happier child and took care of her all on his own. His laughter filled the halls of the home more often, and it was contagious. Lucifer enjoyed seeing Satan smile, and he hoped the world would continue to allow him to have this type of happiness.

***********

Clothing stores had become a second home for the Morningstars. Lucifer swore the clothes he bought for his brothers never fit past the mall dressing rooms. Every other week he was bringing one or two of his brothers for shirts, or pants, or shoes, or some other article of clothing. Today it was him and Asmodeus.

Lucifer pushed the cart down the thin aisle glancing at the various clothes on either side of them with Asmo hot on his heels. However, the closer they got to the usual section the further and further Asmo lagged behind. It wasn’t until Lucifer was in front of the button ups that he realized his younger brother was no longer close behind him. Panic seized him for a moment, thinking he’d lost one of his siblings, but soon he spotted Asmo a few aisles down looking off at something.

“Asmo. Don’t wander off,” Lucifer said, as he approached him. The closer he got to Asmo, the better he could see what he was looking at. 

Pretty bows, flower clips, other sparkling hair pieces, skirts, loose fitting sweaters. Lucifer took a moment, looking over all of the different clothes, before realizing how nervous Asmo looked. Normally he was talkative and bubbly, but right now he was uncharacteristically silent and avoiding Lucifer’s eyes.

His brother had always liked pretty things. He loved picking flowers and having Lucifer catch butterflies for him to look at. He loved to watch the way sparkling dresses twirled in the movies they watched together and looking at the makeup on models on posters in the mall. Lucifer noticed these things, Lucifer knew these things about his brother, but Asmodeus didn’t know that Lucifer knew.  Asmo was worried, and unfortunately Lucifer thought he knew why. 

His brothers deserved to feel safe, to be happy, and even if they’d had a rough beginning, Lucifer wanted to make sure the rest of their stories led to a happy ending.

Lucifer leaned against the cart and offered a smile, “Well, pick out some things to try on.” 

Asmo perked up, looking shocked before a wide grin spread across his face. He put multiple outfits together from various sections and filled the cart. Lucifer honestly hoped they’d last him a while and that he wouldn’t outgrow them as soon as they got home. Asmo’s excitement was contagious.

Later that night, when he dropped him off at Solomon’s, Asmo tore out of the car, excited to show his friend his new clothes, hair clip sparkling in the sunlight.

***********

“Is dinner ready yet?”

Lucifer sighed and put the knife down next to the vegetables he was chopping. Beel had an appetite unlike any he’d come across before.  Doctors had said that he was probably going through a growth spurt and that he was likely going to be tall. A growing boy needed food, and Beel was far from a picky eater.

“Not yet.”

It was the same answer he’d given a few minutes ago.

Beel’s stomach echoed through the small kitchen as Lucifer picked up the knife once more. As he chopped away, his younger brother inched closer until his little eyes were peaking over the counter. A small hand reached out to steal a carrot piece from the counter. It wasn’t sneaky, Lucifer saw, but it didn’t matter.

Beel watched Lucifer in silence for a while, eyes wide and tracing every movement his older brother made.

“Lucifer?”

“Hm?”

“If I help you with dinner will it be done faster?”

The chopping stopped once more as Lucifer thought for a moment. Of course he could let Beel help. He didn’t want him using the knife, but this could still be a good opportunity to learn.  Slowly he nodded and looked towards the vegetables he’d already cut. 

“See those right there? Could you put those into the pot for me? I have another pot on the stove filled with water if you’d like to watch it warm up. When it’s boiling we can put the noodles in,” he said.

Beel’s grin widened and he nodded quickly, almost tripping over himself to help.

“And make sure you wash your hands, and be careful with the stove!”

Dinner had been quite lively that night. Beel chattered on and on about how he’d helped Lucifer with dinner, which led to some of the other younger ones wanting to learn so they could cook what they wanted. Lucifer chuckled quietly to himself. He knew he’d have to teach the rest of them eventually, but he never thought that he’d have a little cooking class on his hands.

***********

Finals had Lucifer stressed. He was running off of at least thirty-six shots of espresso split between six separate cups of coffee. Sleep seemed like a distant and fond memory to him, something he hadn’t experienced in a long while. He almost didn’t pick up on the sounds of small feet slowly padding against the floorboards of the house.

“Lucifer?”

The voice startled him, and he almost spilled one of his cups of coffee that had long gone cold. He swore softly before turning around. The soft glow of his laptop had been the only light source illuminating the room, and it took his eyes a while to adjust. Belphie stood in the doorway, pillow in one hand and his blanket trailing behind him. 

“Don’t tell the others, but,” Belphie was hesitant, his eyes swept to the floor, pink flooding his cheeks, “I had a really bad nightmare, and I can’t fall back asleep.”

Lucifer sat up a bit and tilted his head, “Is there anything you’d like to tell me about it?”

Belphie started to shake his head, then he hesitated. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before shaking his head again. “No,” he said, “But can I stay out here with you? But don’t-”

“Tell anyone? Of course I won’t, but you’re welcome to stay,” he yawned, scooting over ever so slightly to make room on the couch. He could feel his brother hesitate for a moment before wandering over to lay down. Minutes ticked by, and it wasn’t long until Belphie’s eyes shut once more and his small body slowly rose and fell

The more peace he could bring his brothers the better. Even at the slightest disturbance of sleep, Lucifer would smooth back Belphie’s hair in an attempt to calm him. Nightmares had become a common thing after what happened for a lot of them, and that meant Lucifer became alright when dealing with them.

He wasn’t going to leave them ever.

*********

Had he made the right decision? Or had his own pride made him so stupid as to make the worst mistake of his brothers’ lives? Should he have let them be taken by other families, potentially more stable families, and just set up dates to meet? Had he been selfish in his decisions?

These thoughts often plagued Lucifer when he was alone with his own thoughts. He thought about the problems his brothers faced and part of him felt responsible. He felt responsible for their fears, their problems, their worries. Everything bad that afflicted them could potentially be his fault. 

Mammon’s rebellious behavior.

Levi’s self deprecation.

Satan’s frustrations.

Asmo’s issues with his image.

Beel’s misplaced guilt.

Belphie’s angst.

Maybe he thought he could do more for them than he was actually capable of.

Maybe he’d been wrong.

**********

“Lucifer!”

Lucifer’s eyes glanced up from his paperwork to look at Diavolo from across the desk. He’d had piles of paperwork today, it felt like more than usual. There’d also been an influx in clients. New hires would definitely be needed soon. Perhaps he could have a meeting with Diavolo and Barbatos about it. 

“It’s time to clock out!” he said, bright and chipper as usual, “I was wondering if I could walk you home?”

Lucifer sighed and put down his pen. Diavolo was a good man and Lucifer did love him, but sometimes Lucifer felt like he took his work a little less seriously than he did.

Or maybe Lucifer was a little too strict. 

“That isn’t exactly necessary, besides, I have some things I need to finish up before I head home.”

“Nuh uh!” Diavolo clicked his tongue and shook his head, “The last time I let you stay past close to work, you were still here when I got back in the morning! It’s time to clock out. I’ll even help you where I can tomorrow!”

If he could stay on task when Lucifer needed him to. But Diavolo was a good man to work with, and he had proven himself time and time again. So Lucifer really shouldn’t worry himself all too much…

With a sigh of defeat Lucifer stood from his seat, each vertebrae in his spine cracking as he did so. He’d sat longer than he intended to…  “Alright, you win,” he said, “Just let me organize my work.”

Barbatos was waiting for them by the doors of the firm, keys in hand. Diavolo’s hand was pressed firmly against Lucifer’s back as he chattered away excitedly. It brought a soft smile to Lucifer’s face as he nodded to Barbatos. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how routine it had become for the three of them to walk home together. They were two of the closest friends Lucifer had ever had. After all, taking care of his brothers hadn’t left much room for socializing.

He knew Diavolo walking him home would also require him staying to talk for a little bit. Lucifer was already thinking of the variety of teas he could make for the two of them to relax with. His home wasn’t ideal, considering his brothers could be nosey when it came to his relationship, but if it made Diavolo happy it would suffice.

“Thank you,” he said as Diavolo opened the door for him, “Now-”

His sentence was cut short. No sooner had he walked into the kitchen and turned the lights on than confetti streamers went off, and a chorus of ‘surprise!’ surrounded him. 

His brothers were all there, standing with wide smiles and eager faces. In the center of it all was a cake: “Congrats on One Year!”

Diavolo was behind him again, guiding a stunned Lucifer into the room. His hand squeezed his shoulder, excitement coursing through his veins. 

“You haven’t forgotten have you?” Barbatos hummed, “The firm has been around for a year now. Your brothers wanted to congratulate you and asked us both to help.”

Ah. That’s right. This is why Barbatos was their secretary. The man knew how to keep track of the passage of time. 

Seeing that their brother was still in shock, Beel decided to speak up, “We wanted to let you know how proud we are of you.”

“Despite everything you’ve had to do and all the odds stacked against you, you still did it!” Asmo chirped in.

“And you did it while still raising all of us,” Satan smiled.

“Even when we could be the biggest pains in the ass,” Mammon said.

Levi turned to look at him, “Hey, stop talking about yourself Mammon.” 

“Oi!”

“Nah, he’s right, we can all be annoying,” Belphie snorted, “Well, you guys anyways.”

Despite his brother’s bickering, Lucifer’s smile had found its way back on to his face, “Thank you… All of you.”

“Well, why stand here when we have a cake to eat?” Diavolo chuckled, “Come on now Lucifer, let’s take a seat. Ha! That rhymed. Look at me being a poet!”

As Lucifer sat down with the others, he couldn’t help but look over all of his brothers. They’d all grown into such fine young men with bright futures. They were laughing, and happy, and together… They’d had their rough patches and a rather depressing beginning, but now they had a bright future ahead of them. Maybe Lucifer did make the right decision and maybe he’d been too hard on himself at times.

Despite every terrible thing that had happened they’d made it. They’d all beat the odds. As he sat there with his family he looked each of them over.

Confident and boisterous Mammon, who enjoyed drawing in attention.

Passionate Levi, who loved his hobbies more fervently than anyone Lucifer had ever met before.

Intelligent and calculating Satan, who’d always be hungry for knowledge.

Sweet little Asmo, who wore his heart on his sleeve and could spot beauty in anyone.

Gentle giant Beel, who was so compassionate and was always sensitive to the needs of others.

And a mellow Belphie, who knew how to appreciate the little things in life.

Lucifer was proud of them. No. Pride couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling spreading throughout his chest. This feeling was so much more intense. They were all so happy together, and Lucifer wouldn’t give this up for the world.

Their parents would never understand what a grievous mistake they’d made. Lucifer would never understand their reasoning, and he would never make excuses for them.

Lucifer had one thing they’d never have: the love of his brothers.

They would never have the satisfaction of seeing them be successful in life, and Lucifer would make sure they were successful and happy.

Even if Lucifer hadn’t been perfect, he knew he raised them right.

He knew they’d have bright and happy futures.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #ruewrites #WBT #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff #angst with a happy ending #dialuci #mild dialuci #human!au

[alirhi]

random snippet again

as promised, @feralgoblintea here's the (temporary) scene where the two sisters meet for the first time since one went missing as a child

note about the nickname: Rachel's middle name is Miranda; everyone has called her 'Andy' from that since she was a little kid. it's explained in her story, but not in this scene, so I just wanted to explain it here lol

"Your parents are very eager to know where you've been and what you've been going through all these years," the doctor told her, deep voice oddly gentle and soothing. Rachel smiled sadly; his voice reminded her of Amadeus. "Most of all, they want to know that you're alright."

She knew he thought she was crazy. Her parents definitely shared that opinion, which was why she was here to begin with. Still, she couldn't help asking, "And, in your professional opinion, am I?"

He caught her lightly mocking tone and snorted, leaning back in his chair to mirror her pose. "In my professional opinion," he shot back, though the sarcasm left his tone before he even finished his sentence, "you've been through Hell, Rachel. The trauma you've suffered is very, very real. If you're asking, do I believe in demons and portals and time travel, I'd have to say no. But that pain and fear came from somewhere... I'd like you to come back in for regular sessions, if you're up for it; see if we can cut through the fantasy, see past the demons and find the real monsters who hurt you."

"That's why I'm not coming back." She stood, shaking her head a little. "I'm not surprised you don't believe me - I probably wouldn't believe it, myself, if I hadn't lived it - but it's a bit frustrating. What I told you isn't metaphors or delusion. It all happened, and I'm not interested in having someone rip it all apart and try to make me doubt my own memory."

"They call that 'gaslighting' these days."

Startled, the blonde whirled around to face the source of the new voice; a woman she sort of vaguely recognized was standing in the doorway, hand on the knob, smiling at her. After a long moment, her brain helpfully edited the image before her to make it make sense; wild red hair to dirty blonde, violet eyes to mismatched green and blue, face younger and body smaller and more plump. "...Beck?!"

Rebecca's smile widened and she stepped forward with a nod. "Hey, Andy."

"Oh my god!" With a laugh and a delighted screech, she launched herself across the room and threw her arms around her little sister. "What are you doing here?"

Nearly squeezing the breath out of her, the younger woman murmured, "I heard you were back and had to see you. Stand your ground, Andy. Don't let them make you forget or doubt that it was all real. We know the truth." She released her, only to bring her hands up to grip the sides of her sister's head. "Magic is real."

Rachel froze, staring at Rebecca's mouth long after it closed and the two long, wicked fangs that had drawn her attention were hidden from view. "...What happened to you?"

"Not here. I'll tell you everything, but not here."

"Okay." Without so much as a backward glance at the shrink, she followed the redhead out of the office, past their fretting parents, and out into the bright sunny day that made Rebecca hiss.

She cringed and immediately donned a beat-to-hell baseball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses. "Fuck, I hate sunny days."

"You always did." Rachel couldn't help smiling faintly; so many years had passed, more than anyone in the world around them could ever understand, and yet so little about her baby sister had changed.

"Yeah, well... I've only gotten more sensitive to it."

Once they'd made it deep enough into the woods behind the Industrial Park that there was no risk of anyone overhearing, they stopped, and Rachel asked her point blank: "You're a vampire, aren't you?"

Rebecca laughed, gratefully leaning back into the shade of the nearest tree. "Only in our lives is that a casual conversation starter. And yes. Thankfully I'm old enough that daylight won't kill me. It's just unpleasant."

With her own accidental time travel in mind, the blonde asked, "How old are you?" Thirty-seven, she knew, in the eyes of the people around them; to them, Rachel herself had only just turned thirty-nine, and yet both sisters looked at each other with exhausted, haunted eyes millennia older than they could ever hope to make anyone else understand.

"As a vampire, or in general?" She smirked, shrugging off her own question before her sister could answer. "In general is harder to pin down, but I've been a vampire for about six thousand years, give or take a few."

Leaning against a tree roughly opposite Rebecca's, Rachel mirrored her smirk and crossed her arms over her chest. "I was Queen of an entire planet, and then POW and slave on a second, then a fugitive... I managed to send my older daughter home, before I got stuck on a third planet with my boys and little girl. It's been about ten thousand years."

"You have kids?" Rebecca grinned, once again showing those distractingly long fangs. "Me, too! I have two daughters, Madeline and Alice."

"Senna, Kieran, Caspian, and...Cassie," Rachel told her in answer to her unspoken question. She couldn't help blushing as she listed her children's names; she'd since learned what senna was, and hadn't actually given her younger two children names beginning with the same sound on purpose. It had just sort of worked out that way.

"Twins?"

She shook her head. "Caspian's my stepson, kinda, and Cassie was named after-"

Rebecca flinched, remembering. "After Cassie Wade, right? I was so focused on figuring out what happened to you, and then fighting to survive, I'd forgotten she went missing with you."

"She..." Clearing her throat, the blonde squared her shoulders and pulled her strong front around herself like a familiar safety blanket. "She saved our lives; she didn't make it. And, yeah. I named my youngest after her. Anyway, they're all grown, and Kieran..." Jaw clenching, she forcibly dismissed thoughts of her rapist and merely said, "He's my perfect warrior prince. Well, King now. I love them all, and desperately miss Senna, but Kieran, despite his more questionable choices, has a special place in my heart."

Rebecca took her sunglasses off and studied her for a moment before venturing, "Y'know... I literally eat rapists for breakfast."

That got a startled bark of laughter from her big sister, who shook her head. "Even if my boy hadn't already killed him, I doubt his gross, rancid blood would sit well with you. He wasn't human."

The redhead shrugged, smirking again. "Doesn't have to be. I've eaten Fae, elves, one vampire that pissed me off royally..."

"Not such a picky eater anymore, huh?" she teased, grinning. "Was it some badass revenge on your sire or something?"

Laughing, Rebecca shook her head. "Nope, no sire. I'm the OG vampire, babe. The first of the species. My younger daughter, Alice, is the first of the natural born vamps."

"So, wait... You could still get pregnant after you were turned? What?" Rachel frowned, beyond confused. "And how the fuck...?"

"I'm not dead," her little sister explained with another laugh. "Everything's slowed way the hell down, but hasn't stopped. I can't have kids with a human, or probably most Fae, but a certain trickster God..."

"...God?"

She grinned and nodded, though her haunting violet eyes looked sad. "Loki. He's Alice's dad."

"Huh. So the Gods are real." Rachel snorted. "Go figure. And my sister banged one."

"I loved him," the other woman whispered, staring at the ground. She opened her mouth as if to speak further, then seemed to reconsider and closed it again, clearing her throat.

To spare her from some clearly painful memories, whatever they were, Rachel asked, "What's a Fae?"

"Fairy," was the simple enough answer. "Fairies are real, too. Maddie - my oldest - is Fae."

Is she Loki's, too? She didn't dare ask - Loki was clearly a touchy subject - but she was dying to know.

As if she could read her mind, Rebecca, still avoiding her gaze, explained, "I was still mortal when I had her. Her father was Fae."

As the light breeze shifted the leaves above them, making the light dance across Rebecca's ghostly white skin, Rachel finally noticed the scars. At first, they'd looked like tribal tattoos, done puzzlingly in a silvery-white. When she realized they were actually a complex web of ancient scars, she also noticed they covered every inch of her sister's flesh that she could see around her shorts and tank top. Her face was the only place free of the oddly beautiful swirling lines, though she did spot a faint scar on her forehead, running from hairline to cheekbone and through the outer edge of her eyebrow.

"Is Madeline's father why you hunt rapists?" Is he the one who tore you apart?

"He didn't rape me... Technically. But yes, he's the one who scarred me." At her startled look, Rebecca smirked; it utterly failed to reach her eyes, but it was a start. "I can read your mind. I'm trying not to - I find it unspeakably rude and invasive - but when you're actively thinking about me, it tends to cut through my shields. The scars are from a spell he worked on me; blood magic. It's what made Maddie's conception possible, and chained me to him for years."

"Kieran's father was my greatest enemy; Crown Prince of the people who'd been attacking and slaughtering mine. King by the time I escaped." She didn't know what made her suddenly share this, but it felt like the thing to do. Her sister had told her something deeply personal and troubling; it seemed only right to meet candor with candor. Besides, Rachel and Rebecca had been two peas in a pod as children, as close as two sisters could possibly be. There was no amount of time that could strain their relationship. "I was captured in battle and kept as a slave for around a year and a half."

"How did the other three come about?" She smirked again, shoving her wild red hair back off her face impatiently. "Even when we were kids, I'd have bet just about anything that you're gayer than a rainbow, so how do you have so many kids?"

Rachel laughed, rolling her eyes. "Political marriage gave me Senna - born in a dungeon, thanks to me being pregnant during the battle and not knowing it yet. She was smuggled home to her father after she was born. I made a friend in that Hellhole, Emil, and he'd been raising Caspian; he's not his biological father, but that never mattered, just like it didn't matter to me that I didn't give birth to him. That boy's just as much my son as Kieran. We were supposed to go back to my home when we escaped, but something went screwy and we ended up on Achlys, instead, where I met my girlfriend and we all decided to just settle and raise the boys."

"So you cheated on your husband?" Rebecca's grin was teasing - and, thank god, reached her eyes at last! - but Rachel still threw an acorn at her when she said, "You whore!"

"I never saw him again! And he wouldn't have given a shit," she explained with a laugh. "I was, like, his third or fourth wife. And like I said, it was purely political; I was Queen, he was my advisor, he wanted power and I wanted an heir. Enter Senna, who boosted Raziel from random noble to father of the next Queen, and assured that there would be someone to take the reins if I died."

"So..." Her sister began ticking points off on her fingers as she spoke. "Shrewd political moves gave you Senna, you're co-parenting Caspian with a friend, we won't speak of Kieran's origins... How and why was Cassie a thing?"

Rachel shook her head, gaping at her. "A thing? That's nice, Beck. Real nice."

"Gods, you've missed so many cultural shifts, dude." Rebecca shook her head right back, trying not to laugh at her. "Just answer the question, old lady."

"Emil and I, and my girlfriend Trinity, all talked and decided to hell with conventionality; we all love each other, so we'll all be together. Em's my exception, I guess; the only man I've ever been attracted to even after seeing him naked. Our boys were grown, Senna was long gone, we'd made a whole new life for ourselves, so we decided to have another baby. Enter Cassie." Rachel sighed, staring off into space. "And now she's grown, Kieran's back in that awful place trying to turn it around, married to a great girl, Caspian's there with them to help..."

Though she had a feeling she knew the answer, the vampire asked softly, "And your lovers?"

"...Dead. Cassie - Cassie Wade, I mean - died in prison, Trin and Em were killed in the second war." A bitter smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. "Kieran and Cas are running a third."

"There's always another fucking war," Rebecca grumbled. "I've watched so many of them come and go, fought in two, myself... It never really ends."

#crossroads #claddagh #achlys #rachel o'brien #rebecca o'brien #achlys and claddagh meet

[therangersmistress]

Right Place, Wrong Time. Part Three.

Phew, here it is guys! It’s a whopper and I’m not too sure how I feel about it, but hopefully you like? If you do, I’d be happy to write in this universe again, whether that be a one-shot set in the future or a flashback to their past, just let me know! Also, thank you to everyone for your wonderful responses to this story so far, I really appreciate you all. I totally started this thinking people would hate it so bad they’d shun me from Tumblr, so I’m pleasantly surprised. 😆 

Cheers babes. 😘 

Characters: Bill Skarsgård x Female Reader

—

You hadn’t moved.

You still sat, cheeks flushed and lips swollen as you clung to each other, both too afraid of ruining such a perfect moment. You could have stayed like that forever, you thought, with his hand in your hair, your face tucked into his neck, and the crisp smell of his shirt against you. But like most summer nights, the air began to cool, the warmth that seeped from his body to yours no longer enough to stop your shivering, even as you burrowed into him.

“So what now, love?”

You hummed in reply. “We should probably move shouldn’t we?”

“Probably.” But neither of you did.

It was only when he could feel the goosebumps kissing your shoulders that he pulled you up and wrapped his jacket around you, the too-long arms swallowing yours as he tugged you by the hand. “Here, I’ll give you a ride to your hotel.”

You’d moved out of the country for university and hadn’t thought to rent a car for the night considering it was only supposed to be, the night. Of course, those plans now had a Bill-sized wrench in them but you weren’t complaining. You sighed, pondering over the details of you staying longer. You suppose you could take the weekend to do some sightseeing of your old hometown; you had no plans after all, unless your weekly ritual of Netflix and pizza counted, and you weren’t sure that it did. Still, you hated the idea of saying goodbye to him so soon. It was irrational, you knew – you’d see him tomorrow – but you couldn’t help but fear that if you let him walk away, he’d never come back. You wonder if that’s how he’d felt all those years ago, and you hated that you’d proved him right. 

As you strapped in your seatbelt, he turned to face you, eyes crinkling at the sides. “Are you sure there’s no one you want to say bye to?”, he asked. “Not even... Paulina?” Glaring at him, you didn’t even bother replying, he knew exactly what you thought of that nosey cow you used to call friend. 

Bill snorted at your disgruntled expression. “Alright alright” he said.

“You know I caught her taking photos of me–”

Your head snapped towards his. “She what.”

The drive was agonising. Neither of you admitted to the lingering tension between you, but it was there. That fire, that anticipation, the tightening in your gut, it built and built with each stop light and block that passed by. Instead, there was only the heady torture of hushed whispers, longing glances, his fingers grazing over your knee, Bill’s leg bobbing with impatience as he fumbled for the radio. It was both too long and too short to bear. And before you knew it, you’d arrived.

“So…” he coughed, “this is you.”

“Yeah.” 

You paused. “It was great–” “It was lovely–” “to see you” you spoke over each other, both blushing as you laughed at yourselves. You wondered if he felt as nervous as you did. Heart racing, mind consumed by the will-theys and won’t-theys. Like you’d been all but made teenagers again. 

You debated if you should… Considered the ramifications this night could have and how badly he'd left you the last time. Maybe it was better to leave it as it was – a perfect moment on a perfect night. Something to hold onto. But deep down, you already knew your answer.

“Bill?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to come up?”

The look of relief on his face warmed your heart and tempered those nagging fears that told you it’s too late, it’s been too long, he won’t want you anymore. Despite the passionate kiss you’d shared and the affection you could see he held, things had changed. It was inevitable really; you weren’t those two same kids in love, no matter how easily you fell back into old habits.

As you entered the elevator, you cursed the six long floors ahead of you, not helped by the old man chatting away into your ear. Bill smirked, shrugging at you as you begged him with your eyes to intervene. Instead, he was quite happy to watch from where he was. Narrowing your eyes at him, you decided on a little revenge. Breaking out your rusty Swedish, you couldn’t quite hold back the grin on your face as he sucked in a sharp breath of surprise. His eyes darkened, nostrils flaring as he fought himself. He always had liked the sound of his mother tongue on your lips.

And then the doors clicked open.

Neither of you noticed the man had left, nor heard his goodbyes, too intent on staring the other down. You gulped. Bill looked at you as if you were prey, like he was moments from devouring you. Suddenly, it felt too warm in there, the space around you too small. All you could see, hear, or smell was Bill. And oh, how you wanted to taste.

The faint sound of someone approaching broke you out of your momentary trance, and without thinking, Bill jammed the button to close, the last thing you heard – all but the distant angry remark of a disgruntled hotel guest.

And then there was quiet, and the rapid thumping in your chest. 

“You did that on purpose”, he growled.

“No I didn–mmphh.” His mouth muffled yours as he threw himself across the short distance between you. Lifting you up, he wrapped your thighs around his waist and slammed you back into the wall behind you. He had one hand fisted into your hair, the other gripping your ass, as he pinned you still with the weight of his body. His tongue demanded entry as he claimed your mouth, so possessive, so greedy, so different from his earlier kiss. Where that had been tender and sweet, lips wet with your tears, this could only be hunger. 

It was the automated voice that tore you apart, chests heaving as you stared at one another, dazed. Bill huffed a laugh into your neck as you giggled. You’d gotten so carried away you hadn’t even thought about things like security cameras or someone seeing. But that was no matter, Bill knew he’d deal with it if it came up. For now, his only concern was reacquainting himself with you.

Gently, he lowered you to the ground, your legs already wobbly with desire as you held fast to him. Fixing your ruffled appearances and wiping the smudge of lipstick from his mouth, you gestured towards the open doors.

“Shall we?”

Leading him down the hallway to your room, your hands shook as you wrestled with the key card, too distracted by the press of Bill behind you to do much else, his hand moved over yours, steadying it. 

You’d never done things quite like this. It had always been a mildly uncomfortable fit in his twin size bed or yours, his hand against your mouth or his lips biting into your pillow as you tried not to make it obvious what you were doing tucked away in each others bedrooms. You’d never had this freedom, nor luxury, yet this, somehow… Felt even more illicit. It felt thrilling.

He let you freshen up first, the realisation of where you were and who with just sinking in. You’d needed a moment to collect your thoughts, to breathe. You’d spent the past ten years trying to shove every thought of him under lock and key and here he now was in the room next door. It seemed almost impossible, yet the kiss-bitten lips and mussed up hair looking back at you said otherwise. 

As you took in your appearance, you noted your face had lost some of the roundness of its youth. It was sharper now, you thought, like your heart. Your hair no longer had the same bounce, instead the odd grey strand or two you’d covered with eyeshadow, and you had the slightest hint of crow’s feet beginning to form. It was obvious, at least to you, that you weren’t that shiny young thing you’d once been. Part of you worried he’d see that, the other scoffed at your insecurities; Bill was many things, but never vain. No, you decided, you’d changed, but you’d also grown. The body you saw in front of you showed your strength, your resilience – it showed you’d lived. And so you took one last deep breath, pulled your chin up, and walked out that door.

He hadn’t heard you yet, so you took a moment to admire the beautiful man he’d become – who you always knew he’d be. You watched him look out at the streets below, city lights flickering over the contours of his face. His svelte frame took up almost the entire length of the floor-to-ceiling windows as he stood, tumbler in hand. 

“Bill.” 

He turned, his eyes drinking you in.

“I hope you don’t mind.” He lifted his glass. No doubt filled with that whiskey he favoured. 

You shook your head. “Not if you share.”

But as he moved to pour you your own, you stopped him. “I won’t be needing one of those.” His eyes raised, not sure what you meant. 

You kicked off your heels, reveling in the soft feel of carpet beneath your toes as you approached him with a new surge of confidence. Placing both hands on his cheeks, you leaned up as if to kiss him. “What are you–”, he moaned, as you licked the drop escaping from his mouth, and hummed. “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re killing me.”

“Well we can’t have that”, you teased, your fingers stroking the silk of his shirt as your hands slid over him. He looked much better in this than that old penguin suit, that’s for sure.    

Speaking of... “Do you remember the ball?” 

“What, the night we tried to fuck in the back of my car until we both realised we didn’t fit?” 

You snorted. “Yeah, that’s the one.” 

“How could I forget? I seem to remember you wearing a dress quite similar to this”, he said, as his arms wrapped around your waist, grin lecherous. “We have a thing for running off from parties, don’t we?” 

“Mmm, we do…”, you smiled. “I like this.” You pulled at his collar. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’d like it more on the floor.” 

You helped him peel off layer by layer, your hands tracing the skin revealed as you pressed soft kisses to his chest. He’d been a lanky thing back then, not yet grown into his own stature. But now... You admired the thickness of his shoulders and arms. He’d filled out rather nicely, you thought. 

“I need to see you”, he said. “Will you show me?”

Removing your borrowed jacket, you placed it on the back of a chair. “Could you?”, you turned. 

“Of course.” 

The sound of the zipper opening was almost obscene in the quiet of the room, the cool air making you shiver as your dress pooled around your ankles. 

“Beautiful.”

His lips pressed against your nape, warm breath blowing gentle puffs into your ear. You lent your head back to rest on his shoulder, the heat of his body against yours soothing your bare skin. He shifted your hair to the side and kissed a trail up your neck as he smoothed his hands from hips to front. “I’ve missed these”, he said, kneading your breasts tenderly as you sighed, putty in his hands. 

He dragged his hand up your throat to your jaw, thumb touching your lower lip as he turned your head so your mouths touched just so. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

You whimpered, the taste of him as warm and as smooth as you’d imagined from that small sample. Your arm wrapped around his neck, hand winding tight in his hair as your tongues caressed each other.

“Is this all for me?”, he asked, his fingers slipping between your panties. 

“Yeah.” Thank god you’d chosen your nicest pair. 

The wet slick sound of you had him groaning. “Fuck, I’ve missed this too”, he said. Then mumbled, “missed all of you.” 

Oh, that was good. It had been a while since you’d been with anyone, and your own, much smaller hands, were no comparison to his. He peeled your panties down your legs before adding another finger, stilling for a minute as he waited for you to adjust, before sinking them deeper inside.

“Please”, you begged. 

“Please what?”

You turned towards him, hands clutching him as you panted. “Please, I need you.” 

Bill stroked your cheek, then pressed a slow kiss to your mouth. “Wait for me on the bed, love.” 

You followed his lead and sunk back into the pillows, your fingers fisting the sheets at your sides as you watched him crawl slowly towards you. You wanted to touch, to feel... But you were curious, and you couldn’t help but love the way he took control, so different from what you were used to. 

You still remember the first time you both did this. It had been awkward and clumsy at first as you tried your best to learn each other. Neither of you had known quite what to do, where to kiss or where to touch, but you’d certainly practised it enough, and now, you thought, he probably knew your body like the back of his hand. Looking up at him, no longer a boy but a man, you couldn’t wait to test that theory. 

“Bill”, you whined, tugging him. 

“Mmm”, his mouth occupied as he sucked and nibbled and licked at every inch of your skin. He could spend hours retracing all the places he knew you loved,  and discovering those he didn’t, but you were too impatient for that. 

“Later. Need you now.”

He groaned, surging upwards for a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his back, keeping him there as you pulled his weight down on top of you. You were desperate to feel his skin on yours, to know he was really there.  

Yanking his briefs away, he slung your thigh over his hip until nothing separated you. You could feel the heat of him, that blunt velvety head nudging against you as he slicked himself with your arousal. “Billy...” 

“I know”, he cooed. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” 

“Do we need...?”

“No, I’m covered.” 

He kissed you sweetly. “Good.” And then he pushed gently into you. 

You didn’t think there was anything better than the feeling of being one with him again. You’d missed it, craved it, needed it for so long it almost overwhelmed you. His hips flush against yours, you could feel every inch of him, every throb, every twitch of his muscles. He was so much bigger than you’d grown accustomed to. 

“Hey, sweet girl.” He kissed the tears at the corner of your eyes. “You OK?”

“I just”, you whispered, “it’s so much.”

“I know, I feel it too. You need to stop?” 

“No,” you whined. “Please don’t.” 

But he kept at a steady pace to begin with, just until he felt you begin to relax around him, your walls fluttering as you gave into the pleasure you were receiving. The feeling was incredible, so much better than you remembered, better than the lonely nights you’d spent with men whose names you couldn’t recall, certainly better than all the times you’d tried to relieve yourself with nothing but your imagination. It was only as you’d pictured him, remembered him, that you’d often found release. 

Flipping you over so you straddled him, he guided you by the hips, encouraging you to rock against his body. “Fuck”, you cried. You felt even fuller from this angle. Resting your hands on his chest, you bounced on top of him, your neck arching and tits bouncing in his face as you moaned. 

“Shit, sweetheart. That’s it. You look so fucking beautiful, even more beautiful than I remember.” 

He couldn’t resist your offering, sucking your nipple into his mouth as he played with the other, his free hand kneading and stretching your ass around him as you picked up your pace. When he felt you begin to tire, your muscles protesting and legs beginning to shake, he sat up. 

He wound his arms around you as you buried your face in his neck, no choice but to let him support your body. He thrust beneath you as you moved in sync, the friction of his pelvic bone against your clit and the soft grunts in your ear pushing you to your own end. You could feel that delicious pressure in your belly, your core clenching hard around his length as you raced towards that edge. You were so close. 

“Oh god”, you sobbed. “Bill–I’m gonna–I’m gonna come.”

“Yes”, he choked out, his voice tight with pleasure. “Come for me baby, let me feel you.” 

And with his final touch to your clit, you screamed, his name on your lips as that band snapped inside you. You shuddered and whimpered for seemingly forever, and when it was finally done, collapsed bonelessly against his chest. 

His hand lifted to your face, thumb gently stroking. “Sweetheart, are you alright?”, his voice strained as he tried to hold back. 

You could barely think, let alone bring yourself to words, the sheer power of your release still wracking its way through your body like aftershocks. 

“M’good”, you sighed. And as your body began to recover, you pulled yourself back up, determined to make him feel as you had. “Your turn Billy”, you kissed him, resting your forehead against his. “You sure?”, he asked. 

“Please Billy, inside me. I wanna feel it.” 

“Fuck”, he swore. His hands clenched at your sides as you felt his cock twitch in you. Taking that as permission, he spread his legs further, pulling out of your wet heat before snapping his hips up into yours. He pumped you hard and fast as he let go of the tight grip on his control. 

“Yes, Billy”, you moaned. And it was the sight of your damp skin and sated expression that finally pushed him over the edge. His hips stuttered, jaw clenching as he groaned, filling you with everything he had. 

Letting go of his grip on you, Bill pulled your pliant body down to rest on his, stroking your hair as he whispered to you how good you’d felt, how much he missed you, how glad he was that you were here. 

No one said the words. It was much too early for that, but you both felt them there between you. It was in how easily your bodies still fit together, how the smell of his skin was the same as your favourite candle, and how you didn’t have to say anything to enjoy each other’s company, you just did. And as you lay in his arms, body exhausted but mind clear for the first time in a long while, you thanked all the gods there were for listening to that friend. It was worth even the endless stream of I-told-you-so’s you were sure would be waiting for you. 

You knew there would be a conversation to be had in the morning, that this was only the beginning and beginnings were often easy. For now though, all you cared about was that there was no other place you’d rather be. That maybe, your time hadn’t been back then, but maybe it was now. 

---

@lihikainanea @skrsgardspams @inkblotgalaxies @bae-roman @thelipsofthegrave @billofourtime @dreamtherapy @ill-skillsgard @emmyrosee 

#bill skarsgård fanfiction #bill skarsgard imagines #bill skarsgard drabbles #bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard x reader #high school sweethearts #right place wrong time #part three

[simplyfandomish]

Sister, Sister (2/_)

Older Sister! Reader x Older! Gilbert Blythe

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 ||

“Can you please sit? You’re going to wear a hole in the rug.” 

The Shirley-Cuthbert was pacing on Aunt Jo’s expensive Persian rug. Her mind and her heart a giant jumble of mixed emotions and conflicted thoughts. 

Anne paused. She thought for a moment, huffed, and then plopped herself on the couch across from (Y/n). “I’m sitting down because my mind is exhausted. Not because you told me too.” Anne huffed. 

Aunt Josephine and Diana left the redheads to discuss their family turmoil. The Barry’s had decided to sit in the dining room and catch up with one another as the sisters occupied the parlor. They would give the Shirley’s their privacy, but close enough in case both needed to step in. 

(Y/n) spoke up. “Why do you think I abandoned you, Anne? And don’t make up any colorful stories. I want the truth.” Anne crossed her arms and sunk into the green velvet cushion. “But you did anyway.” She refused to look at her sister. 

“My plans were to go back and adopt you. I needed one more paycheck and I was going to hop onto the ferry to get you.” 

Anne leaped to her feet. “Please don’t fib to me, (Y/n)! You were content with your job at the pub. Besides, I already have been adopted! So your plans don’t even matter anymore! I happily live with the Cuthberts of Green Gables. With Princess Cordelia a-and the Snow Queen! I’m happy!”

(Y/n) felt cold water run down her back. “Y-You’re adopted? Since when have you been adopted??”

Anne wiped her nose on her sleeve. “For a few months now! You’ve known if you read my letters - which this clearly proves you haven’t. Therefore you don’t care!”

(Y/n) leaped to her feet. “Now hold on for a moment. I received a letter that said you returned to the asylum after working for Mrs. Hammond and that you were still waiting for me to return!”

Anne furrowed her brows. “I did return after working for the Hammond’s but then I was called by the Cuthberts. But I wrote to you immediately after I left the asylum and arrived at Green Gables.”

(Y/n) pursed her lips, “This is my first time hearing about Green Gables or the Cuthberts. The very last letter I got from you was a few weeks ago…addressed from the asylum.”

“And I got mine from you saying that you were settling down in Nova Scotia.”

“I’ve been on the island for almost a year...” 

The pieces to this puzzle were slowly starting to click together and the Shirley’s were becoming increasingly angry at the conclusion. 

“Those blasted nurses were tricking us! They intercepted our letters!” 

“How utterly cruel! I knew they were unpleasant people, but this just makes them even more horrendous!”

Red hair ignited to a brighter color as their tempers flared. 

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! Especially a redhead!” Anne quoted with her fists in the air. 

(Y/n) nodded and barged out of the parlor. “Make that TWO redheads!”

Aunt Josephine and Diana barged onto the parlor once they heard raised voices. They rested their hands over their hearts when their eyes rested on the pink faces of the angered females. “Good heavens! What is happening?”

(Y/n) pushed past the Barry’s and stomped towards the coat hanger. She ripped her jacket from the brass hanger, a hole torn in the sleeve snagged on a hanger and tore open wider. Only feuling (Y/n)’s anger. “I have every right to hop onto a ferry and pummel their ugly faces in. Maybe this time I will burn down the garden!” She proclaimed and knotted the sash of her jacket tightly around her torso. (Y/n) marched towards the large doors with Anne on her tail. 

Aunt Josephine and her butler rushed towards the fuming redheads. “Now, now, let’s all keep a calm head, ladies. It’s dark and cold out to travel anywhere and the ferry is closed for the night.”

“Then I’ll wait for the earliest morning launch!” (Y/n) proclaimed. 

The butler scrambled in front of (Y/n) and blocked her exit. “Out of my way egghead. I’ve got some teeth to knock in!”

“That’s enough!” Aunt Josephine banged the end of her cane on the floor. “I don’t mind the temper of a redhead, but when they insult my staff is where I draw the line. You need to take a breath and think rationally. I would hate for my neighbors to witness a cursing woman leave my abode.” She shook her head, “Be utterly dreadful towards my reputation. Now let’s all gather back into the parlor and calm down.” 

(Y/n)’s temper extinguished as the old woman spoke in a soft, but firm tone. She knew never to step up against an elder woman with a wooden walking stick and a tongue like silver. 

(Y/n) huffed and tugged off her pea coat. The butler took her dark jacket and hung it back up on the hanger. “Sorry about the name-calling.” She huffed under her breath. 

Tempers and apologizes were the bane of a redhead’s existence. (And in Anne’s case - the red hair itself). 

Egghead nodded at the apology. 

“Bertram, see how much longer till dinner is ready. A warm meal will calm things over.”

The butler nodded once again and rushed off towards the kitchen. 

“So it was the asylum nurses that has caused such a calamity.” Aunt Josephine clicked her tongue as she stabbed her sliced piece of chicken. “Rotten people. The lot of them. I should write a strongly worded letter to the higher-ups about this. Get all those involved fired.” She shoved the food into her mouth. Her teeth clacked against the metal. 

“But then the entire asylum would have no staff to run it.” (Y/n) commented. She shook her head, “And then all those kids wouldn’t have a safe place to stay. It’s not home, but it’s still a roof with bed. Although, the food sucked.” (Y/n) cut her vegetables with more aggression than necessary. 

“ ‘Was disgraceful’. Not ‘sucked’. Improper language for a young woman.” Aunt Josephine couldn’t help but correct.

(Y/n) rolled her eyes.

Anne bowed her head, “I’ve always hated that place.” All attention was towards the Cuthbert, but her blue eyes refused to tear away from her plate. “After you became of age, the other girls didn’t hesitate to tease me. It was utterly abhorrent.”

The mood in the dining room shifted, but Aunt Josephine had quite enough of the somber mood. “That’s enough of this grim atmosphere. We’re all having a lovely dinner with lovely company. Any more of this gloomy attitude and all of you will be sent out into the cold and pay for your own meals at the tavern.” Diana and Anne shrunk into their chairs, but (Y/n) shot to her feet. 

“The tavern! I totally left my job! Ohhh, I hope Emilio doesn’t fire me!” (Y/n) was quick to shove as much food as she could into her mouth before she sprinted back into the foyer and collected her jacket.

“Manners, child! Manners! Aunt Josephine had shouted from the dining room. Anne and Diana had leaped to their feet as well and chased after the older redhead. “But (Y/n)! Wait! We’ve just reunited and you already have to leave?!” Anne panted. 

Egghead assisted (Y/n) with her peacoat, her brows were furrowed and her eyes were sad. “I know, pumpkin, but a job’s a job. Plus, I’m gonna save up to visit this notorious Green Gables of yours.” She smirked with a wink as she tightened her jacket belt tighter. 

Anne and Diana gasped with a smile. The Cuthbert flung into her sister’s stomach and wrapped her arms tight around her waist. Her face nuzzled under (Y/n)’s bossom. The Shirley sisters held each other in Aunt Jo’s foyer for what felt like an eternity; the eldest rocked her sister back and forth on their feet, like a slow dance. 

(Y/n) exhaled and pressed her lips to Anne’s pumpkin orange hair. “I promise I’ll return to you, Anne.” She pushed Anne from her body and held her arm's length away. “And now we know where the other is...you’re going to have a hard time avoiding me.” She pinched Anne’s cheek. 

Anne crinkled her nose and fought her sister’s hand on her face, reaching up and tugging on (Y/n)‘s long, apple red locks. 

After twin squeaks of pain erupted from the Shirley’s, both girls released their grip on the other and instead wrapped their arms around the other once again. 

“Diana, please thank your aunt for the hospitality. I’ll be sure to visit again - if she provides another scrumptious meal.” (Y/n) smirked down at her younger sister as she used her favorite word. Anne smiled widely up at her older sister. 

“I’ll see you soon, Anne. Very soon. I promise!”

“I’ll keep you to that promise, dear sister.” She lifted her hand and extended her pinkie. 

(Y/n) smiled and intertwined her own pinkie with her sister’s. Both girls kissed their thumbs as they pinkie promised to each other. They giggled as they pulled apart. 

“Diana,” (Y/n) nodded in farewell to the ravenette, the young girl nodded and curtseyed. “Anne.” She smiled widely and pulled open the brown door that led out into the dark, cold, snowy landscape of Charlottetown. 

When the door closed with a small click, Anne let out a breath. She felt Diana worm her hand into her own and squeezed in reassurance. 

“Oh Diana, I feel like I could dance on clouds. Now that I am reunited with my Joan of Arc! My sister! My (Y/n)!!”

Tagged List: [Open]: angel-in-the-roses

#anne with an e #gilbert blythe #gilbert blythe x reader #awae

[lightyagamiis]

kissing booth - thirteen [final]

Pairing: reader x tom holland Genre: some fluff and maybe some future smut. kissing booth au Warnings: none Word Count: 2.1K *inspired by the netflix film kissing booth but with my own twists*

prev - end

The rest of the summer flew past way too quickly with only two weeks of summer vacation left.

After everything that went down that night, you haven't seen Tom at all. You haven't even been to the Holland's household.

You spent most of your time with Sam, Em, and Harry. After Em and Harry got word of what had happened, things were even awkward between them and Tom. Which was the last thing you wanted to happen to the Holland family.

Tom went back to his apartment with Harrison, and whatever they did you had no clue.

If you weren't with your twin, you were with Sam. If he wasn't with you or Harry, he was with his girlfriend. And when Sam was gone, you didn't have anything to distract you.

Em was always with Harry most of the time, you only saw her when she was home or if Harry was busy.

Which you didn't mind, you didn't want to take her from Harry.

You haven't even spoken to Harrison since everything went down. He's tried calling you, but you ignored him.

You figured he was just trying to check on you, but you also knew he was with Tom.

Harrison was always the one that helped keep you balanced, he was like your conscious always telling you right from wrong. He would tell you ignoring Tom was childish and that you needed to grow up.

You knew Harrison would be right, but the last thing you wanted was to see Tom, or well, it's what you told yourself.

You didn't want to be away from Tom. But you felt as if you had no choice.

Sam made it perfectly clear after everything happened that he didn't want you with Tom, that the rules are still in effect. And you promised to keep that rule this time.

"Y/N....Y/N...Y/N!"

You jolted from your thoughts, seeing your twin right in your face. Her nose was scrunched and eyes narrowed, "were you even listening to me?"

You shook your head, "I'm sorry Em, I wasn't."

She sighed and sat back down in her chair, "You really have been out of it lately Y/N," she crossed her arms and shook her head, "seriously, what's been on your mind lately?"

You stared down at your chocolate shake and fries, "nothing." you lied.

"It's about Tom isn't it?"

Your heart jumped at the sound of his name, you gripped your hands around the shake glass.

"It is about him, isn't it?"

You nodded, "Yeah, it is...Em, I miss him...so much."

Emily sighed, seeing you so upset like this kills her.

"Maybe you just need to void out the rules with Sam."

"I can't just void them out, Sam has to want the same thing, and I already know he doesn't. Plus Tom is moving, it's not going to work out."

"How do you know that?" You snapped your head up at your sister, taken by complete surprise, "you have no clue if it would work out or not if you don't even try!! I know how much you love him, Y/N, I can see it in your eyes, I've always been able to see how much he means to you even when we were kids. I'm sure if you just talked about it with Sam you could work something out."

"Talking to Sam about this situation would be like talking to a brick wall, he's made it clea—"

"Fuck what Sam thinks!!"

You widened your eyes, "w-wha.."

"I know you love Sam, but honey we aren't kids anymore, you and Sam need to realize that," well, she isn't wrong, "Sam found Lilly, you and Tom found each other...well finally found each other. Don't let Sam's feelings for his brother stop you from being with Tom."

You didn't know how to exactly reply, but your sister wasn't wrong. It was time to be adults, Em and Harry voided their rules, and it's about time you and Sam voided yours too.

"You can talk to Sam about it at the Holland's household tonight."

"Oh no no no!" you said quickly, "I am not attending the Holland's party tonight."

"Y/N, we always throw the end of the summer party, you're going! it'll also be the last time you see Tom before he leaves for America, you need to tell him how you feel."

You didn't want to go to this party, you missed Tom, but you were afraid to see him.

But you found yourself at their house anyway, sitting on the couch, red solo cup in hand and no sight of Tom.

Sam sat beside you with his arm around Lilly, talking about god knows what. Em and Harry were off somewhere, and Harrison stood in the kitchen.

You felt bad for not speaking to him, so you finally decided to grow up and made your way into the kitchen.

"Hello cousin, long time no see." Haz said with attitude.

"I'm sorry, Haz, I was going through some shit."

He nodded, taking a drink, "I know, I'm sorry for being a smart ass, I just hate that you also ignored me."

"I really wasn't trying to, I just knew you'd talk some sense into me and I wasn't ready for that."

"I heard Em did though, so you listen to her and not me?"

"She's my sister, Haz, my twin to be exact."

Harrison nodded with a small smile, "yeah she's got me beat."

"How's Tom?" you asked nervously.

"He's...I don't know what to describe what he is," hearing that worried you, "he hasn't been himself since your breakup."

"I haven't seen him around here, where is he?"

Harrison looked down at his cup and shook his head, "he's not here."

"Well, where is he?"

Harrison refused to look at you.

"Harrison where is he?"

"He decided to leave for America early, he felt that the sooner he got out of London the quicker you'll be happier."

Your heart tore right in two. This could not be happening.

"He's gone..."

"He's actually on his way to the airport," Harrison corrected you, "if you hurry, you could meet him there."

"Thank you so much, Harrison, I'm taking your car."

"Woah Woah what?"

"Please, I need to get to him!"

Harrison had the look of debate on his face.

"I need to hurry!" you said getting more impatient.

"Why are you in a hurry?" you turned to see Sam behind you.

"Sam..."

"Wait, you aren't going after him, are you?"

"Sam, I love you. I love you so much and you're my best friend and the greatest person I've ever met, but I'm in love with Tom, our rules were all fun when we were kids, but we are adults now. And if I don't make something right with Tom before he leaves, I'll never get that chance back."

Sam just stared deep into your eyes, his heart pounded a thousand miles per minute. He knew you were right, you both were adults now and the rules aren't needed anymore. Sam hates seeing you so down and knew the only way to fix that was taking you to Tom.

"I'll take you to the airport," Sam nodded, "I need to make things right with my brother before he leaves too."

You smiled so wide you swore the whole world could see how big you were smiling. You embraced Sam in a tight hug, "I love you so much, Sam."

"I love you too, Y/N. Now let's go get your boyfriend before he gets on that plane."

You don't think you've run that fast in your life towards a car before. You've never been so shy, scared, and nervous about seeing Tom before.

So many emotions were flowing through you, but the only thing that mattered was getting Tom back.

Sam pulled into a parking spot and both of you were out and running towards the doors for the airport as quickly as you could.

Stopping and looking about the sea of people, looking for any trace that Tom was there.

Sam tapped your shoulder, "he's in line for security! Y/N run! go!"

You saw the back of Tom's head, his backpack hung on one shoulder and passport in hand.

You fought through the crowd of people, screaming out Tom's name as loud of you could.

"Tom! Tom!"

Tom thought he was hearing things, thought the sound of your voice was just his brain messing with him until your voice got closer and louder.

"Thomas!"

He turned around, to see your face, to see Sam, pushing through the sea of people.

Without a second thought, Tom left his place in line and rushed towards you. In a room full of people, the only thing he saw was you.

The moment he got to you, he dropped his backpack to the floor and embraced your body to his, leaving no room for separation.

"I'm so happy you haven't left yet," you cried in his neck, "I was praying I wasn't too late."

"I thought you'd never want to see me again." Tom said squeezing you tighter, resting his head against the side of yours.

"I'm in love with you Thomas Stanly Holland. I am one hundred percent in love with you."

Tom cupped your face in his palms, "oh baby I am so fucking in love with you."

His lips crashed against yours, the taste of his coconut lip balm filled your tastebuds. His soft lips fit perfectly connected to yours, his hands held your face with such gentleness and care, his heart beat faster against yours.

Nothing at that moment mattered more than kissing Tom in the middle of the airport.

"I'm here to guys." shit..you completely forgot Sam was here.

Tom pulled away first to look at his brother, "Sam, bro I am so sorry I can't even beg—"

"It's okay Tom, I'm the one who kept the two of you from being together. You belong together, don't let anyone stop you from being where you belong."

Tom pulled Sam into a hug, "let's not hate each other anymore, deal?" Tom said.

"I agree, I hate hating you."

Everyone laughed, and the boys pulled you into their hug.

You were being embraced by not only the love of your life but also your best friend.

They say you only have one soulmate, but you don't believe that. You believed you could have multiple soulmates.

Tom and Sam were yours. Tom being your romantic soulmate, and Sam being your best friend soulmate. You would die if you ever lost them both. So being embraced in their arms, felt like you were on top of the world.

"I hate to be a party pooper," Tom said stepping away from you and Sam, "but my flight leaves in like an hour."

You held onto his hands, "do you HAVE to go?"

Tom stared down into your eyes, it killed him to leave you just after getting you back. He slowly nodded, "I would hate to cancel a first class ticket to New York city."

You rolled your eyes, "Of course, you wouldn't"

"Hey now babe, New York is New York!"

"I wouldn't know, I've never been."

"I'll fly you out to see me sometime, okay?"

You couldn't help back to smile at him and nod, "Yes I would really love and enjoy that."

"I know you would."

Tom placed a kiss on your forehead, giving you one last hug before being forced to take off.

"Call me when you land?" You asked.

"Of course, babe," he picked up his backpack, and slowly backed away from you and Sam, "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Thomas."

With one last wave towards Sam, he turned around and finally walked through security.

"wow, this sucks," you blurted out, "I just got my boyfriend back and I had to let him go again."

Sam nudged your arm, "at least you still got me to keep you busy until he comes back home."

You smiled up at your best friend, "you're absolutely right."

You got no idea how this long distance relationship with Tom would work out or if it would even attempt to work out at all.

All you knew was Tom loves you, and you love him. Anything is possible, so you had faith everything would be okay till you finally saw him again.

The rest of your summer played out perfectly. You and Sam got the same classes for the fall semester, Harry and Em did the same, Harrison finally flew out to meet Tom in New York, and Tom started his busy life filming movies.

You facetimed Tom every morning and night, always texted him when you both had the time to and always made sure to call each other once a day. Everything was perfect.

And that's all you could've asked for.

——

the end.

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #you x tom holland #reader x tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #marvel fluff #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #kissingbooth #mywriting

[caroline-min-max]

Family Secret

How the pregnancy AU ends.

“Hey, dads?” Tillie asked sweetly as she approached Min and Max, an angelic smile plastered across her freckled face. Close behind was her much more timid identical twin sister Elsie, holding her hand.

Max was already getting out his wallet. “What is it this time?” He couldn’t help it; he loved spoiling his girls.

“Oh!” Tillie’s smile began turning to more of the mischievous grin that she typically wore. “I mean, there is this REALLY cute dress and-”

“Tillie!” Elsie whispered, giving her a small nudge. She didn’t want her sister getting sidetracked.

“Fine…” Tillie sighed. She could always hit up Max for some cash later. “OK! So this is actually REALLY important.” She had Min and Max’s full attentions.

“Shouldn’t we wait until your mother gets home?” Max asked, thinking they should discuss it as a family if that really were the case.

Tillie shook her head. “We actually want you to talk to her for us. You know how she gets…”

“Overprotective,” Elsie muttered. All they did was bring home some Joker venom once and Caroline still brought it up from time to time.

Min and Max knew exactly what they were talking about, urging Tillie to continue.

“So we’re supposed to be moving into the dorms for college this week,” Tillie reminded. “ But Elsie and I aren’t sure that we want to do that anymore… Mom was barely twenty when she started, so Elsie and I were thinking we’d stay to help when you guys “work”.”

“A-and we want cool outfits too,” Elsie chimed in softly.

“Yeah!” Tillie agreed as the girls wrapped their arms around each other. “So? What you do you think?” They stared at their dads with anticipation.

“Of course you can!” Min answered with a smile; that’d be great to have the girl following in their footsteps.

“Absolutely not!” Max answered the same time, just the thought of them getting hurt on a job was enough to nearly make him sick.

“Huh?” Tillie said in surprise, Elsie’s eyes wide as well. Their dads never disagreed on ANYTHING. Min and Max seemed equally taken aback, just turning to stare at each other for a moment.

“You can’t be serious, Min!” Max couldn’t believe his twin was going along with this. “They don’t have to be criminals like us; we had no choice! They’re so smart they’ve even skipped a grade! They can really make something of themselves!”

Min scoffed. “They could never make the amounts of money we pull in with “honest” work.”

“But they’re girls! It’s much more dangerous!”

“Mom, Auntie Pammy, and Auntie Harley are girls…” Tillie pointed out.

“Your mother is part rabbit and can kill someone with one kick. Pamela has her plants, and Harley… She…”

“She’s nuts?” Elsie offered.

“Girls,” Min said firmly. “I think before we talk to your mom Max and I need to work this out.” He was the one to take out his wallet this time, grab a few hundreds, and press them into Tillie’s hands. “Why don’t you two go out on the town for awhile?”

“OK…” was all Tillie could say.

“We’re really sorry!” Elsie was starting to get panicky. “We didn’t know you two would fight over it!”

“We’re not fighting,” Max said gently as he placed a comforting hand on her arm. “We both want what’s best you girls is all. Your futures are important to us.”

The girls looked at their dads for a moment, studying their expressions, before they looked at each other and nodded. They felt comfortable enough to leave them be and hash this out. Hopefully Max would see things Min’s way; they wanted more than anything to become Gotham’s newest threats and help protect their parents. They weren’t getting any younger, after all.

Max’s expression darkened once he heard the door open and close. “Are you even thinking this through?!” he asked as he stood up, Min doing the same. He was ready to leap right back into their debate. “What would you do if they wound up getting killed, huh? Could you live with that?”

Min crossed his arms. “That won’t happen. We’ll teach them the basics before they come with us.” He smiled wistfully. “Remember when we taught Caroline how to shoot? It’ll be just like that.”

“You can’t say that for sure!”

“I know I’m right. Besides, if we don’t let them, Elsie and Tillie will just try it on their own. THEN they’ll get hurt.”

“I’ll ground them for ten years if they try it.”

Min rolled his eyes. “They’re almost adults.”

“That doesn’t matter as long as their under our roof! Besides, Caroline will agree with me!”

Min narrowed his eyes. “You think so?”

“Yeah! If she even starts to consider letting them all I have to do is remind her of what could happen if some sicko gets their hands on them!”

“You’re not going to do that.”

“I will if I have to.”

Min looked like he wanted to say something. He clenched his fists, opened and closed his mouth a few times, and kept breaking eye contact with Max. “They’re MY kids and if I say they can join our family business than they can.”

“Well their MY kids too and I say they can’t!” Max reminded. Min had no ground to stand on saying something like that; he must be getting desperate.

“Max, you don’t get it. Elsie and Tillie…” Min debated about whether or not to continue, but figured he may as well having come this far. “They really are my daughters.”

“Huh?” Max’s mono-brow furrowed in confusion. “There’s no way to know for sure.” They were identical twins with the same DNA that were always intimate with Caroline on the same nights. It was impossible to figure out just who had gotten her pregnant… Right?

“There is…” Min took a long pause. “Do you remember how nervous we both were when Caroline really started to make a name for herself? After she finally took down the guy who made her a rabbit suddenly everyone knew who she was. They either wanted to hire, work for, or suck up to her. She had some men better than we could ever hope to be hitting on her.”

“Y-yeah…” Where was Min going with this?

“Well… What better way to make sure she’d stayed ours than getting her pregnant? She’d need us to help her raise them, she couldn’t be involved in any jobs for a long time, and there aren’t many guys who want a woman with kids. I started poking holes in the condom I was going to use while you with Caroline; that’s why I kept going second. It took months, to the point I wondered if Caroline was too much of a rabbit for it to work, but then it happened.”

Max was completely dumbfounded, staring at Min with wide eyes as he took a moment to fully process what his brother had just said. “You… You didn’t really.” He laughed nervously. “You’re just saying that.”

Min shook his head. “It’s true.” He stepped forward, leaning in so he was only mere inches away from his brother’s face. “And you’re not going to say anything or else you’ll tear our family apart. I’m fine with the girls calling you ‘dad’; I’ve appreciated your help raising them. But you’re going to let Caroline and I start making the major decisions. Got it.”

There was no response. Instead Max had gone nearly white and seemed to be looking past him.

“Max,” Min said his name harshly. “Did you hear me?”

Instead of responding Max raised his arm and pointed a finger with a shaky hand. Min turned his back on him to see that Caroline was standing behind him. Her ears were sticking straight up and staring ahead like a deer on the headlights but her eyes not entirely focused on them. The grocery bags she’d carried in were on the ground beside her, yolk from a broken carton of eggs leaking out.

All was quiet as the brothers looked at her in return, neither having any idea what to say. Max had seen her walk in but wasn’t able to bring himself to try and shush Min. After seventeen years the secret he’d been keeping was finally out.

“You…” Caroline finally spoke, placing a hand on her stomach. “You did that to me on purpose?” She seemed to be more shocked than angry, just like Max.

“Honey Bunny!” Min rushed forward, grabbing her hands and holding them. “I know it was hard on you for awhile, but look at us now! We’ve got a happy family with two wonderful daughters! It all worked out for us!” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

This was what broke Caroline. He expected her to think this was for the best? “You… You…” She tore her hands out of his grasp, eyes narrowed and shaking with fury. “You monster!” she screamed. “I NEVER wanted kids!”

“You love them and they love you! If I hadn’t done what I did they wouldn’t exist!” Surely that was reason enough to view his actions in a different light.

“I wish they wouldn’t!” Caroline admitted. “All this time I thought that this was all just one big mistake no one made intentionally that’s what made me accept the way things are! Now you’re telling me that I didn’t do anything wrong and you did this to me on purpose! I wish those girls had NEVER been born!”

“How can you say that?” Min asked, horrified.

“Don’t you DARE treat me like I’m the one who’s in the wrong!” Caroline stomped her foot. “I HATE kids!” Another stomp. “I hated every second of having them around when they were younger!” She repeatedly stomped the floor. “They were tolerable once they were older but I was miserable!”

“That’s why Max and I took care of everything!”

“Do you really think that makes it all better?!” Caroline’s voice nearly broke. The soft spoken woman rarely screamed like this, pushing her vocal cords.

“Caroline, you-” Min reached out for her again.

“DON’T you dare touch me!” Caroline swatted his arms away. “Don’t touch me ever again! I promised I’d never hit you or Max but I had no idea I should’ve made you promise to never force a pregnancy on me! We are done, Min. I will NEVER forgive you for what you did to me.”

Fuming with rage, Caroline turned and stormed down the hallway towards their bedroom. Min watched, unsure what to do, while Max had been standing in stunned silence the entire time as he watched his wife and brother. With Caroline out of the room, Max was having a hard time believing this was all real and not some horrible dream.

“I’m… I’m going to talk to her,” Max decided as he stood next to Min.

“Yeah!” Min agreed with a nod. “Yeah! You do that!” He placed his hands on Max’s shoulders. “I can count on you to fix this, right? You’ve always been good at making Caroline see things our way!”

‘Our way’? Max thought. He would have never done anything like this to Caroline, no matter how paranoid or worried that he’d get that she’d fall out of love with them. Min had really done it this time. “I’ll try,” he answered after a moment.

“You’re a good brother, Max,” Min said gratefully.

It took all of his willpower for Max to hold his tongue as he walked by Min to follow Caroline. Yes, he had always been a good a brother, unlike Min. Not only had he lied all those years ago to try and date Caroline behind his back but now he’d fooled both him and Caroline all this time.

Without knocking Max opened the door to find Caroline packing a suitcase. She looked towards the door with fury in her eyes as Max closed it again. When she saw it was him she held her temper. She’d heard everything; she knew Max didn’t have anything to do with what Min had done.

“What do you want, Max?” Caroline asked coldly. “If Min sent you in here you can forget it. I’m leaving.” She resumed rooting through the drawers and stuffing various items into her bag.  

Max had figured as much. There was no coming back from this. “I want to go with you.”

“What?” Caroline was so stunned she froze with a pair of socks in her hand before she turned to look at him. “But you’d never leave Min.”

“I didn’t think so either but I can’t believe what he did to you. I love both of you but Min only cares about himself. This is the worst thing he’s ever done but it’s not the first time he’s done something selfish. I want to be with you, Caroline.”

Caroline thought it over a for moment. “What about Elsie and Tillie? Can you leave them?”

“They’re not my kids.” The revelation of this had hurt his relationship with them as well. He did love the girls, but they had each other. They’d be fine, just like how he and Min used to be. It was Caroline that he didn’t think could make it by herself anymore. “Caroline,” he continued since she still didn’t seem convinced. “You can’t drive. Where are you going to go on foot? Do you think you’ll find a bus or taxi before Min realizes what you‘re doing? I can take you wherever you want to go. If we wait until after the girls leave we can sneak out at night and be long gone before Min wakes up. He won’t be able to find us. He’s obsessed with you. He won’t let you go. I’m scared of what he might do.”

Caroline was taking everything Max was saying seriously. No one knew Min better than him and if Max was scared she knew that she should be too. She dropped what she was holding and cautiously walked up to Max.

Unsure of what she was doing, Max stood still for a moment until she pulled on his suit, realizing that she wanted a kiss. He obliged, leaning down so their lips could meet as he held her.

“I can count on you to get me out of this. Right, Max?” Caroline nearly whispered as she combed her fingers through his hair.

“I promise,” Max answered before he kissed her again.

When Elsie and Tillie returned home they could feel the tension in the air. Caroline had locked herself in a room she tended to flee to when she was on the verge of meltdown and Max made it clear the girls were going to college and that was that.

Caroline and Max’s plan was to make Min think they were going to work things out once the girls were out of the house, that it would be impossible to fix anything when they might walk in and overhear. They weren’t going to tell them Min’s secret. Instead, Caroline was going to make the girls believe the reason why she was so distant was because they’d fought over whether the girls should go to college or become criminals.

The guilt Elsie and Tillie felt from that kept them withdrawn. With the days remaining up until the day finally arrived for them to leave the house was eerily silent. There was no joy, laughter, or energetic conversations. Elsie cried a lot while Tillie consoled her and promised their parents would work things out like they always did, that maybe it would be for the best after all they were continuing their education. They could get jobs that paid them so well they could support their parents and not have to worry about something happening during a heist.

The pressure was on Max to keep up the rouse, being the only person in the house who everyone was willing to talk to. Caroline was paranoid that he’d change his mind so she used every opportunity that she could to remind him of the benefits of choosing her over Min. He’d never made love to her without his brother in the room before, relishing in having her attention all to himself. He had no idea he was being manipulated. Caroline made him think she was upset and lonely, needing his comfort more than anything.

On the day Elsie and Tillie were going to leave they were shocked all three of their parents came together to wish them a safe trip. The girls savored it when Caroline hugged them tightly and kissed their cheeks.

“Call us when you get there, OK?” Caroline asked, knowing it would take them about a day and a half at least.

“We will!” the girls answered together, then getting their goodbyes and hugs from their dads as well.

Elsie started crying again. Being so far away from home and away from the mother she looked up to as inspiration to become stronger and her two doting fathers was going to be difficult.

“You’ll be just fine,” Caroline soothed. “Tillie will be with you and you can call us anytime. You’re not so far away… There will be holidays and breaks before you know it when you can come home.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead as she wiped away her tears.

“Come on, Elsie,” Tillie said as she grabbed her sister’s hand. “We’ll make mom and dads really proud of us, OK?”

With a nod Elsie followed her sister. Everything seemed like it was going to be OK, but then why did she have such a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach? Her mother had always stood in the middle of her dads but this time Max was in the middle with Caroline at his side. It was a small difference, but enough to bother her even as she sat in the passenger’s seat of the car while Tillie got in the drivers seat.

Their parents exited the house to see them off, the family waving at each other as the girls backed out of the driveway and set out on their long journey. Min and Max lingered until they were out of sight, not realizing right away that Caroline had gone back into the house and shut herself in a room again.

“What now, Max?” Min asked. “How has Caroline been?”

“She’s been worrying about today and what it would be like seeing the girls off,” Max answered. “Leave her alone and I’ll see if she’ll be willing to talk tomorrow.”

Min sighed wearily. “This has been killing me… I want to hold my wife.”

Still not a single shred of remorse for what he put Caroline through. Tonight was the big night and now more than ever Max was confident he was making the right decision. Min would never be able to understand the hell he’d made Caroline endure. Max still remembered those nights where she’d cry and question why she couldn’t be a proper mother to their children. It was a pain she should never have had to go through.

Min was a sound sleeper. Max and Caroline were counting on that. Their bags were packed and ready to go; they planned on being able to quietly creep through the house and make it outside while he was oblivious in dreamland.

Normally this would have been the case. Under the circumstances, Min wasn’t sleeping well at all. His worry of how and when he’d patch things up with Caroline kept him awake at night with sleep coming in short bursts. He was so used to barely sleeping at night that he didn’t even bother to put on his pajamas; he’d lay down in his clothes.  

He was trying to fall back asleep when he heard a floorboard creek. It was one that was always a bit noisy when walked on but hardly noticeable unless it was completely quiet. Someone was awake. If that someone was Caroline maybe this was his chance to catch her outside of that room and force her to have a one-on-one talk with him.

Max and Caroline were just about clear the living room and make it to the entryway when the light switched on. Caroline jumped before she and Max, bags in hand, turned to see Min standing there confused.

“What’s going on? Min asked, looking back and forth from Max to Caroline before he realized they had suitcases. “You’re walking out on me?!” he realized. “Max?!”

“I don’t love you anymore, Min.” Caroline spoke up for Max. She’d handle this; all he needed to do was drive the car. “I can’t live under the same roof as you. I’m leaving and Max is coming with me. What you did hurt both of us and I doubt you even care or realize that.”

“I do!” Min insisted. “But the girls have moved out! It’s just us again! We can go back to how we used to be!”

Caroline shook her head. “I can’t. I thought about it during the past few days. I swore I’d never let a man alter my body without my consent ever again. I never expected I’d have to worry about that from someone who I thought loved me. You’re no better than the man who wanted me to be his sex toy. Only you used me as a breeding mare.”

“I-”

“We’re not discussing this anymore. Max and I are leaving and that’s that. You’re the one who has to live with the consequences of what you did. I don’t care what you tell the girls.”

“Wait!” Min pled as Caroline and his brother started to leave. “You’re not going to leave me!” He reached inside his suit jacket.

A shot suddenly rang out, making Caroline scream as she covered her ears and ducked. When she dared to look up again she saw Max was beside her, gun raised, and that Min was standing there wide eyed. He looked down as blood flowed from his chest.

“Caroline… Max…” Min pulled out a shaky hand from his suit to reveal a picture he’d been keeping close since the day they’d fought. “I love you…” He dropped the photo as he crumpled to the floor, the picture fluttering in the air for a moment before it fell in front of him. It was a picture taken long ago with the three of them smiling happily, the White Rabbit giving the twins bunny ears.

“I… I thought he was going to shoot you!” Completely distraught, Max dropped his gun.

This snapped Caroline back to reality as well. She dashed forward, turning Min over to look at him. “He’s still alive!” she exclaimed. “But he won’t make it if I don’t do something! Max, go get my medical bag! I’ll do what I can and then we’ll take him to the hospital!”

Max was off in a flash, Caroline’s ears sticking straight up and focusing on the sounds of his steps to keep track of exactly where he was. When she was confident he was far enough away she looked down at Min and placed a hand on the side of his face.

“You’re very lucky; he must have just missed your heart…” Caroline said softly as Min leaned into her gentle touch. If this was what it took for her to realize she wanted to be with him he’d take it. He closed his eyes to relish the sensation when she kissed his forehead. “But I won’t,” she whispered into his ear.

“Ghhk!” Min awkwardly cried out in pain when he felt something sharp jutting into the wound, opening his eyes to see that Caroline had driven a knife into where he’d been shot.

“I hope you rot in Hell,” Caroline, her voice seeping with loathing, said through clenched teeth as Min’s consciousness faded. In mere moments he was dead, she calmly hiding the knife under her clothing again.  

Max returned upstairs to find Caroline sobbing and holding Min’s lifeless body close. The front of his suit was completely stained with blood that had gotten onto Caroline as well. Max dropped the bag, already knowing that he was too late, and slowly walked forward.

Caroline looked up at Max with tears still streaming down her cheeks. “Max, I… I’m so sorry. There was just so much blood and I… I couldn’t do anything.”

Tears stung Max’s eyes as he knelt down to the floor, unable to hold them back when he grabbed and held Min’s already cold hand. He and Caroline were completely silent as they looked over Min’s body together.

“It’s… It’s my fault…” Caroline said. “I wanted to get away! I didn’t want Min dead! If I hadn’t been so selfish and just left the two of you alone together…”

She was blaming herself?! Max couldn’t believe it. After what Min had done her, and he being the one to shoot him, and Caroline was the one wrought with guilt. Max reached forward and cupped her face in his hands. He tried to brush away her tears with his thumbs but there were just too many.

“If… If you want to shoot me I’ll understand,” Caroline said softly. “I wish you two had never met me, that-”

“Sweetheart, you didn’t do anything!” Max interrupted.

Back when Max and Min had started dating Caroline the two of them had made a promise; a real one this time that neither of them would break. That if one of them died the other would always take care of Caroline no matter what. Now that it had actually happened Max would fulfill it out of love for her but also as his brother’s final wish.

For most of this relationship Max had been content to emotionally support Caroline but also let her be the one to soothe him when he was upset. He was much more sensitive than Min was. Now that Min was gone he’d have to man up and be a more solid foundation for her than ever before.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to mourn over losing the twin he’d been inseparable from. But right in front of him was his wife who looked even smaller and more vulnerable than ever before. She’d always been so strong but now she looked as if she were going to fall to pieces.

“Lets go,” Max said with a heavy heart.

“W-what?” Caroline was stunned.

“The neighbors might have heard the gunshot. Hurry and change; then we’ll leave and never look back. I’ll… I’ll say goodbye to Min in the meantime.” He reached back for the picture Min had dropped, sticking it into his own suit to keep.

“Max…”

As carefully as she could, Caroline laid Min down on the floor. She delicately grabbed Min’s arms and crossed them over his chest before she stood up and walked at a brisk pace to the bathroom. She couldn’t believe her luck! Min was out of the way and Max believed her acting! This nightmare was going to be over!

She was swift in stripping, cleaning the blood off of her, and changing. She’d keep the knife on her to dispose of later. She purposely selected a baby pink outfit that made her look young and soft to keep playing at Max’s sympathy and natural instinct to protect her. When she re-entered the living room it seemed Max had made his peace and was now standing. He seemed to have picked up the gun as well when Caroline looked at the floor, not wanting to leave any evidence behind.

Once Caroline was close enough he embraced her, she unable to stop a wicked smile from crossing her lips. Hook, line, and sinker. She had this man completely duped. He was going to do anything she wanted from now on. She did need him more than ever now to make a clean getaway, but it was up in the air after that. Although he was indeed a different individual from his twin, Max still wore the same face as Min and Caroline wasn’t sure if she could deal with that. And what if he changed his mind about Elsie and Tillie? She supposed she could deal with that if or when it happened. He shouldn’t be too hard to kill. She’d disposed of larger men.

Her heart now as cold as ice, Caroline followed Max out the door and into the darkness.

The next day the phone would ring with a call from their daughters and nieces to excitedly tell them about how they’d settled in.

No one answered.

[ourlady-ofsorrows]

A Shot Across The Bow

(gif credit to the creators)  

Part 9 - All Too Well

Masterlist

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x OFC Word Count: 1,922 Warnings: language, smoking A/N: Finally back into the swing of things with this story and I have a plan for more frequent updating! Title/song is All Too Well by Taylor Swift. I hope you guys enjoy it! If you want to be tagged, let me know. Also, feedback is cool :)

Caroline’s POV

Over the next few months I kept up my relationship with Shane for appearances while continuing my secret relationship with Daryl. Everything was going as good as to be expected with Daryl and I avoiding each other in public but that didn’t stop us from spending days together outside of town where we didn’t know anyone.

As summer ended and autumn began, however, I noticed that Daryl was becoming more and more distant. I had a feeling that it had to do with the fact that I was still with Shane and he was treating me like shit. That night when I left Daryl’s apartment I decided to end things with Shane in hopes that if Daryl and I could finally be together publicly that it would help the situation.

I pulled into the parking lot of the precinct ready to talk to Shane and end things knowing that he couldn’t start a scene at work. I parked my truck and killed the engine, taking a deep breath to prepare myself for the conversation ahead of me. I climbed out of the truck and pulled my jacket tighter around me as I walked toward the building. Once I walked inside I said hello to Sally, the secretary, before walking in to the main floor where Shane’s desk was.

When I reached his desk he wasn’t there so I sat down in the chair next to it to wait for him. I was only waiting for a few minutes when he came out of the break room. He noticed me sitting there and a look of shock crossed his face.

“Linney, what are you doing here?” he asked when he reached me.

“We need to talk,” I said.

“About what?” he asked sitting down.

“Us,” I replied.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and gestured for me to continue. I took a deep breath and steeled myself over for his reaction.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I said, “I can’t be with you.”

“Why?” he asked.

He was being calm and I knew it was because we were in the precinct and I was thankful I’d made the decision to do this here.

“Because it’s not working,” I explained, “and don’t act like you don’t agree with me.”

“This is because of Dixon, isn’t it?” he questioned.

“That doesn’t matter,” I said and I knew my face was giving me away.

“Oh come on, Caroline,” he sighed, “you can’t be serious? We’re great together.”

“No, Shane, we’re not,” I said pinching the bridge of my nose, “I don’t know why you’re pretending otherwise.”

“Because it’s true!” he said raising his voice.

“It’s not,” I said standing up, “I’m sorry, Shane, but we’re through.”

I didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead I just turned and walked out of the building. I half expected him to follow me and was more than happy when I reached my truck and he wasn’t behind me. I drove home and decided I would wait until the next morning to tell Daryl what happened knowing that he had probably gone to bed.

The minute I walked into my room I tossed my jacket on the back of my desk chair before grabbing my notebook and guitar. With Daryl being distant and breaking up with Shane I was feeling more than a little down and overwhelmingly inspired. I spent the better part of the night writing and once I was sure the song was perfect I changed into my pajamas and went to sleep.

The first thing I did the next morning was call Daryl to tell him about Shane but his phone went straight to voicemail. Figuring he was busy at the garage I left him a message asking him to call me before getting out of bed and calling Michonne.

I wanted to tell her about Shane in person but she was busy with classes. We agreed to meet for lunch and I spent the rest of the morning lounging around the house. Around noon I got dressed and made my way over to the restaurant near her campus and got us a table. She arrived shortly after and I explained everything to her once we ordered.

“I’m glad you finally called it quits with him,” he said finishing her salad.

“Yeah, me too,” I replied.

I ate the last few of my French fries and we got the check. Michonne headed back to campus and promised me she would be at the bar that night and I headed back home. I spent a few hours with Lori before getting ready to head to the bar. From the minute I got there I looked around for Daryl but I couldn’t find him. Eventually it was time for me to go on stage and I grabbed my guitar and walked up to the microphone.

Just as I was introducing the song I saw Daryl walk in and I couldn’t help the involuntary smile that spread on my lips. The smile fell, though, when he didn’t even look at me and made a beeline for the bar. I glanced over at Michonne, who I knew noticed what had happened, and she just shrugged.

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, But something ‘bout it felt like home somehow and I Left my scarf there at your sister’s house, And you still got it in your drawer even now.

I tried to catch his gaze but he was focused on the drink in front of him.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze. We’re singing in the car, getting lost upstate. The Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, And I can picture it after all these days.

I wanted him to hear these words and know that everything was going to be fine between us but the fact that he was still ignoring me made it seem like that was impossible.

And I know it’s long gone, And that magic’s not here no more, And I might be okay, But I’m not fine at all.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street. You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me. Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Memories of our time together crossed my mind and I was starting to feel like maybe we were doomed.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed And your mother’s telling stories about you on a tee ball team You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.

What shocked me then was Shane’s face crossing my mind.

And I know it’s long gone And there was nothing else I could do And I forget about you long enough To forget why I needed to

Even though I hated him I was still suddenly starting to feel bad about what I’d done. Not breaking up with him but sneaking around with Daryl behind his back.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night. We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah.

Then Daryl finally looked at me, his eyes locking with mine and it felt like nothing else mattered.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much, And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Even in the dim light of the bar and the spotlight shining on me I could see the bruising around his eye.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest. I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well.

As I continued to sing he seemed to focus on me but his face was unreadable.

Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

Shane walked into the bar then and I was starting to feel like a terrible person the way I’d played with both of them even though I really only had feelings for Daryl.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can’t get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Shane just glanced at me before walking toward the bar and I saw Daryl look from him to me and then back at him.

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

As the last chord rang out Daryl finished his drink and stalked out of the bar. I thanked the crowd and packed up my guitar as quickly as I could before running out of the bar after him.

Daryl’s POV

I couldn’t sit there and listen to Caroline sing anymore, not when I knew Shane was there. It hurt me to be around her knowing what was at stake. I was foolish enough to let it go on for this long but I was selfish and I wanted her close. Now, though, Philip was pressing me for information and I wasn’t giving him any and that just put Caroline in even more danger.

“Hey! What happened to you?” I heard Caroline say as I reached my bike.

“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend,” I spat turning to face her.

“What?” she asked coming closer to me, “he’s not…we’re done. I called you this morning to tell you and – oh my God!”

It was clear that as she got closer she noticed how bad the bruising around my eye really was. Around three that morning Shane had pounded on my door and decked me when I answered. He didn’t say another word and just stormed off. I figured it wasn’t all that bad considering what he’d done to some of my friends.

“It’s nothin’,” I said lighting a cigarette.

“That’s not nothin’, Daryl,” she said walking closer to me.

“I said I’m fine,” I spat backing away from her, “just leave it be.”

“Why are you acting like this?” she asked, “I ended things with Shane so we could be together, so we could stop all this sneaking around.”

“Well ya shouldn’t have done that,” I said.

“Why the hell not?” she asked.

“Cause there ain’t no us,” I said mounting my bike, “never will be.”

I started the engine and lifted the kickstand and the last thing I saw before I pulled out of the parking lot was the tears falling down her face. I wanted to go back there and tell her that everything was going to be fine but I knew I couldn’t, not when The Governor had a target painted on her back because of me.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic

[literateape]

Humpty Dumpty Fell Off the Wall and Now Lives As a Paraplegic

By Don Hall

Neutral. Uncommitted. Unbiased. Undecided.

What beige-like descriptors.

The people who embrace and justify the squatting shuffle of the fence-sitter are those who want to stay friends with both parties of a divorce with no regard for the reason behind it, they wait until the election is pretty much decided before casting their vote, they watch their friend make sexually and racially offensive slurs and turn a blind eye, they wait and choose to not make a choice when it matters.

"After patriots tore down the statue of King George III in New York City on July 9, 1776, they melted parts of it down and made bullets to use against the British.

It is impossible to know the exact number of American colonists who favored or opposed independence.

For years it was widely believed that one third favored the Revolution, one third opposed it, and one third were undecided. This stems from an estimate made by John Adams in his personal writings in 1815.

Historians have since concluded that Adams was referring to American attitudes toward the French Revolution, not ours. The current thought is that about 20 percent of the colonists were Loyalists — those whose remained loyal to England and King George. Another small group in terms of percentage were the dedicated patriots, for whom there was no alternative but independence.

Often overlooked are the fence-sitters who made up the largest group."

SOURCE

They are often overlooked because their contribution was zero. Nada. Nothing but making it more difficult for the nation-to-be to move forward (or backward.) Fence-sitting is understandable, though. Generally not of the neutral or even-handed sort, I have experienced my own bouts of indecision in the guise of diplomacy and I’m almost always regretful of those moments.

I regret my refusal to wholeheartedly endorse Al Gore when he ran for president. If more of us had rallied more aggressively in his favor rather than sitting on the sidelines explaining that he was wooden and uninspiring, we might not have had eight fucking years of Bush Jr. or the longest war in American history. Kinda makes one re-think all the criticism and indecision of Ms. Clinton, don't it?

I regret continuing to remain a close friend with a former band director who I knew was an adscititious gay-hater, ignoring his barbs and homoragic jokes until I found out he regularly donated to organizations that were designed specifically to curtail gay rights. Only then did I make the decision to severe ties with him. Too little, too late.

I watched Lydia Lucio brand a friend and mentor in her nascent storytelling days a racist and a sexist and go after him with a ferocity that seemed unnecessary and vindictive, and I sat on the fence. I refused to choose sides because I was a friend to both. Certainly a chunk of my motivation for casually straddling the wall between them was arrogance but whatever the rationale, a year later I paid for that non-choice as she viciously turned the same tactics on me, going a step further to enlist others to the cause.

When I see white people in a Starbucks or a Waffle House or on the street watching police use abusive physical force on black people instead of stepping in, I see fence-sitters. Refusing to choose out of fear of retribution or apathy (or white supremacy — don't wanna forget that…)

Each time a kid who commits suicide (and apparently they are doing this in record numbers since the advent of social media and the pocket sized super computer) because of online bullying, there were teachers and parents and other kids who watched the click-baity fun and said nothing, did nothing. Same with the white guy shooters. Fucking fence-sitters.

That voter, holding out his support, thinking that his one vote will shift the tide rather than the tide being a whole motherfucking bunch of votes and money and time? The rails of that fence are dead center up his bunghole. The appearance of a spine is really just the fence post propping him up.

Certainly, throwing one’s allegiance to a cause without thinking it through is stupid.

Think it through. Observe the behavior. Weigh the consequences.

Then make a fucking choice.

Social media makes fence-sitting easier. Understanding that being a Faceborg friend or a Twitter-follower is not at all the same as being an authentic friend or genuine follower makes it an uncomplicated non-choice to see shitty behavior from one “friend” to another and ignore the implications. Remain connected with both because, hey, it isn’t your fight, right?

I wrote a piece for the Ape back in January of 2017 entitled The Company You Keep Defines Who You Are: 

"Certainly, we each are our own person. Certainly, we are not so influenced by the people around us as to be so blatantly a composite of them. But just as certain is the fact that those with whom we spend the most of our time shape who we become.

Women who spend a lot of time together often begin to menstruate on the same cycle. We pick up smoking, petty theft, language, dress, prejudice, ideology much in the same way. Creatures born to inhabit tribes, it is our natural instinct to adopt the patterns of the herd. It's one of the reasons that the Internet can so easily allow us to form mobs that fail to thoroughly read or reason before rendering a perceived enemy to reputable shreds."

I once had a longtime friend ask me why we didn’t hang out anymore. At first I didn’t really have an answer, and the old salt of “growing apart” came to mind. Later it hit me. She was still close friends with my ex-wife who, after sleeping with another friend, went on a semi-public campaign of reasons why we divorced that included a litany of how terrible I was but failed to mention her infidelity. My friend decided that her behavior was fine (it wasn’t, after all, about her and I probably deserved the cuckoldry) and rode that fence.

An insidious side effect of social media is that, while in the world of flesh and bone I can craftily avoid those weaselly fuckers whom I find noxious and hateful, with the many fence-sitters on that Friends list, I am constantly surprised by things that remind me of them. The ease of not choosing online, of remaining detached and out of the line of fire, creates webs of connectivity with people whom we no longer want to be connected.

(Christ. As I'm typing this, I see a notification from a good friend espousing a special comedy project illustrated by said ex-wife's husband who has gone out of his way to shitmouth me online! Good holy cocknabbing GAWD, I'm truly learning to detest social media!)

"With the ubiquity of online social network sites and the substantial amount of time being spent on them, important questions have arisen regarding the effect of online social interactions on well-being.

Results from some studies have suggested that social media use might increase the risk of mental health problems and might compromise well-being more generally. Use of social media may detract from face-to-face relationships, reduce investment in meaningful activities, increase sedentary behavior by encouraging more screen time, lead to Internet addiction, and erode self-esteem through unfavorable social comparisons."

SOURCE

I have made the argument that social media is just a tool and it is the user of that tool who decides how to use it. Given the growing tendency of accidentally stumbling upon the tantrum-throwing, polemic-spreading, bullying fuckfaces of the world and increasingly feeling the desire to get a baseball bat, wrap it in barbed wire, throw on my motorcycle jacket and "save" a few people, it's time to change the landscape some. I've spent too much time learning to manage my temper (in the Inside Out version of my brain, I have two emotions: Rage and Joy. They are identical twins and finish each other's sentences) to let the fence-sitters in my feed inadvertently open doorways to unreasoning hatred.

I no longer unfriend. The term has too many unintended meanings. I simply block you out. Understanding that a Faceborg friendship is not the same thing as an actual friendship, if you are my friend, I'll see you around. If you suddenly find that you can no longer see my online presence, that's what happened. Most people won't even notice which means I'm starting to do this right.

I can no longer sit on the fence when it comes to FB. I'd rather enjoy my day, use this tool to appreciate those around me and ignore those who can't make a choice. 

Think it through. Observe the behavior. Weigh the consequences.

Then make a fucking choice.

#fence-sitters #culture of social media

[theliterateape]

Humpty Dumpty Fell Off the Wall and Now Lives As a Paraplegic

By Don Hall

Neutral. Uncommitted. Unbiased. Undecided.

What beige-like descriptors.

The people who embrace and justify the squatting shuffle of the fence-sitter are those who want to stay friends with both parties of a divorce with no regard for the reason behind it, they wait until the election is pretty much decided before casting their vote, they watch their friend make sexually and racially offensive slurs and turn a blind eye, they wait and choose to not make a choice when it matters.

"After patriots tore down the statue of King George III in New York City on July 9, 1776, they melted parts of it down and made bullets to use against the British.

It is impossible to know the exact number of American colonists who favored or opposed independence.

For years it was widely believed that one third favored the Revolution, one third opposed it, and one third were undecided. This stems from an estimate made by John Adams in his personal writings in 1815.

Historians have since concluded that Adams was referring to American attitudes toward the French Revolution, not ours. The current thought is that about 20 percent of the colonists were Loyalists — those whose remained loyal to England and King George. Another small group in terms of percentage were the dedicated patriots, for whom there was no alternative but independence.

Often overlooked are the fence-sitters who made up the largest group."

SOURCE

They are often overlooked because their contribution was zero. Nada. Nothing but making it more difficult for the nation-to-be to move forward (or backward.) Fence-sitting is understandable, though. Generally not of the neutral or even-handed sort, I have experienced my own bouts of indecision in the guise of diplomacy and I’m almost always regretful of those moments.

I regret my refusal to wholeheartedly endorse Al Gore when he ran for president. If more of us had rallied more aggressively in his favor rather than sitting on the sidelines explaining that he was wooden and uninspiring, we might not have had eight fucking years of Bush Jr. or the longest war in American history. Kinda makes one re-think all the criticism and indecision of Ms. Clinton, don't it?

I regret continuing to remain a close friend with a former band director who I knew was an adscititious gay-hater, ignoring his barbs and homoragic jokes until I found out he regularly donated to organizations that were designed specifically to curtail gay rights. Only then did I make the decision to severe ties with him. Too little, too late.

I watched Lydia Lucio brand a friend and mentor in her nascent storytelling days a racist and a sexist and go after him with a ferocity that seemed unnecessary and vindictive, and I sat on the fence. I refused to choose sides because I was a friend to both. Certainly a chunk of my motivation for casually straddling the wall between them was arrogance but whatever the rationale, a year later I paid for that non-choice as she viciously turned the same tactics on me, going a step further to enlist others to the cause.

When I see white people in a Starbucks or a Waffle House or on the street watching police use abusive physical force on black people instead of stepping in, I see fence-sitters. Refusing to choose out of fear of retribution or apathy (or white supremacy — don't wanna forget that…)

Each time a kid who commits suicide (and apparently they are doing this in record numbers since the advent of social media and the pocket sized super computer) because of online bullying, there were teachers and parents and other kids who watched the click-baity fun and said nothing, did nothing. Same with the white guy shooters. Fucking fence-sitters.

That voter, holding out his support, thinking that his one vote will shift the tide rather than the tide being a whole motherfucking bunch of votes and money and time? The rails of that fence are dead center up his bunghole. The appearance of a spine is really just the fence post propping him up.

Certainly, throwing one’s allegiance to a cause without thinking it through is stupid.

Think it through. Observe the behavior. Weigh the consequences.

Then make a fucking choice.

Social media makes fence-sitting easier. Understanding that being a Faceborg friend or a Twitter-follower is not at all the same as being an authentic friend or genuine follower makes it an uncomplicated non-choice to see shitty behavior from one “friend” to another and ignore the implications. Remain connected with both because, hey, it isn’t your fight, right?

I wrote a piece for the Ape back in January of 2017 entitled The Company You Keep Defines Who You Are: 

"Certainly, we each are our own person. Certainly, we are not so influenced by the people around us as to be so blatantly a composite of them. But just as certain is the fact that those with whom we spend the most of our time shape who we become.

Women who spend a lot of time together often begin to menstruate on the same cycle. We pick up smoking, petty theft, language, dress, prejudice, ideology much in the same way. Creatures born to inhabit tribes, it is our natural instinct to adopt the patterns of the herd. It's one of the reasons that the Internet can so easily allow us to form mobs that fail to thoroughly read or reason before rendering a perceived enemy to reputable shreds."

I once had a longtime friend ask me why we didn’t hang out anymore. At first I didn’t really have an answer, and the old salt of “growing apart” came to mind. Later it hit me. She was still close friends with my ex-wife who, after sleeping with another friend, went on a semi-public campaign of reasons why we divorced that included a litany of how terrible I was but failed to mention her infidelity. My friend decided that her behavior was fine (it wasn’t, after all, about her and I probably deserved the cuckoldry) and rode that fence.

An insidious side effect of social media is that, while in the world of flesh and bone I can craftily avoid those weaselly fuckers whom I find noxious and hateful, with the many fence-sitters on that Friends list, I am constantly surprised by things that remind me of them. The ease of not choosing online, of remaining detached and out of the line of fire, creates webs of connectivity with people whom we no longer want to be connected.

(Christ. As I'm typing this, I see a notification from a good friend espousing a special comedy project illustrated by said ex-wife's husband who has gone out of his way to shitmouth me online! Good holy cocknabbing GAWD, I'm truly learning to detest social media!)

"With the ubiquity of online social network sites and the substantial amount of time being spent on them, important questions have arisen regarding the effect of online social interactions on well-being.

Results from some studies have suggested that social media use might increase the risk of mental health problems and might compromise well-being more generally. Use of social media may detract from face-to-face relationships, reduce investment in meaningful activities, increase sedentary behavior by encouraging more screen time, lead to Internet addiction, and erode self-esteem through unfavorable social comparisons."

SOURCE

I have made the argument that social media is just a tool and it is the user of that tool who decides how to use it. Given the growing tendency of accidentally stumbling upon the tantrum-throwing, polemic-spreading, bullying fuckfaces of the world and increasingly feeling the desire to get a baseball bat, wrap it in barbed wire, throw on my motorcycle jacket and "save" a few people, it's time to change the landscape some. I've spent too much time learning to manage my temper (in the Inside Out version of my brain, I have two emotions: Rage and Joy. They are identical twins and finish each other's sentences) to let the fence-sitters in my feed inadvertently open doorways to unreasoning hatred.

I no longer unfriend. The term has too many unintended meanings. I simply block you out. Understanding that a Faceborg friendship is not the same thing as an actual friendship, if you are my friend, I'll see you around. If you suddenly find that you can no longer see my online presence, that's what happened. Most people won't even notice which means I'm starting to do this right.

I can no longer sit on the fence when it comes to FB. I'd rather enjoy my day, use this tool to appreciate those around me and ignore those who can't make a choice. 

Think it through. Observe the behavior. Weigh the consequences.

Then make a fucking choice.

#fence-sitters #culture of social media

[woodlandlesbian]

Tonight, after weeks of staring at a blank screen, willing myself to get the words out, mostly just crying in front of a blank screen, I've finally got my feelings on screen. We're going to try something a little different. Not so much in the voice of my writing but in the style itself. Tonight, instead of memories, I'm going to go through by person. The last year of my life has been utter hell, and in true fashion of myself I bottled that shit into the finest wine possible, corked it and have let it ferment until it was so rich if you were to drink it you'd be drunk off one drop. So, in order to process through my feelings I've found that going from person to person is much easier than going by current emotions. I won't name anyone by person, but I'll be sure to make it known who you are as you read. Buckle up, were gonna get crazy. So read on.

When you're the middle of seven what they forget to tell you is you become the wallflower of the family. Seeing all the things in a perspective from the outside looking in. Watching the hurricane of a family life whirl around you, the winds caused by other siblings knocking the breath from your family as if a child had taken their first big fall and the wind being taken from their lungs. My sister was 14 when she didn't come home. My father was away on a work related operation. My mother called the police after 12 hours of her not coming home. They told her it wasn't a missing persons report until she had been missing for 24 hours. Call back later. My mother bawled over a child that wasn't even hers. Her step daughter. But loved and raised all the same. She sobbed, head bent over her kitchen table, begging them to help her. She was still in her pajamas, a purple Eeyore set from the night before, the sun already setting on the day. Her hair stuck out in every direction, greasy from her hands constantly brushing it out of her face. I'll never forget the way she looked sitting in our bright, cheery, pale yellow kitchen. You see sister, you had told us two night before that you were going to stay with a girlfriend and you would be home the following evening. My parents were very lenient with those things up until that point. They had went through one of the longest, most drawn out custody battles known to man for you and our big brother. And this is how you repaid her. You lied to them. You twisted words, were vindictive and hateful, conniving and deceitful. And the icing on the cake was this grand lie. When you didn't come home and we called your friends mother. Nope, you hadn't been there. She spent hours driving the street hoping to find you. Instead you stayed two nights with your boyfriend. Your 21 year old boyfriend you claimed was 16. Yes I’m not stupid. Yes, I knew. I was 9. By the time you were 16 mom and dad had let you move back with your mother where you disappeared. For 10 years you came in and out of dads life. For 10 years you put a strain on their marriage and our family. And after 10 long years we rebuilt our family without you, expect for when you needed something. Then you swooped in and played on daddy's heart strings. and I sat, like a fly on the wall and watched. And here you are again after years of slandering him and then using him, and then slandering him, you are here again. You see dear sister. I’m not 9 anymore. I am grown, and the man you used and threw aside, the one you didn't want. I'll gladly take him. See what you didn’t realize in all your childish attitude and glory was that he is the best damn father anyone could ever ask for. But don't worry. You left your mark on our family, on my family. Dads refusal to let me have any kind of Independence. The things even the most sheltered kids could do I was banned from. School dances, nope. Roller skating on Friday nights, nope. Being out past 5:30 pm, no. Sleepovers were never allowed unless they were requested 2 days in advanced and took place at home, where I could be monitored. I could never go to the mall with my friends or go to the movies with them. My dates were chaperoned until I was 16. I wasn't even allowed to drive until I was almost 18 years old. I spent my whole life barred inside because of you. My father went from a loving, goofy, wild, enjoyable man to a stoic, silent, stiff lipped man. His smile that wrinkled his eyes and sent his cheek bones high up on his face went slack, never reaching past the corners of his mouth, painful almost. And it seems my sweet sister, that every time he finally smiles a real smile again you show up. It’s like a calling beacon. you get that tingle in your fingers to start skimming through your arsenal of what you can use to rip as all apart again.

The first time I laid eyes on you my stomach went straight through the floors and fell into the bedroom of some silly air crewman's floor. I will ever forget how absolutely stunning you were, and that i wasn't wearing a bra. I think about you very often, damn ear daily. You are the one that got away. as i sit here typing I’m talking to you. and just thinking about that makes my stomach twitch. I’m not sure if its with a pain of longing or with a twit of giddy at knowing I will lay eyes on your smile sooner than later. You see babyboy, you were the most unexpected love I’ve ever had. Your love came so fast and pure that i don't think there has ever been anything like it on the face of the earth. I cherish the memories i have with you. I no longer can watch orange is the new black without thinking of the way you kissed me. your lips so sure against mine, soft and sure. i loved you then and i love you now. you say love comes and goes, but baby boy i disagree. once you love you ove forever. you may no longer be in love, but love itself stays strong as long as its true. Maybe i was always meant to be a mother. Because each night i hoped you would come to my room, drunk and stumbling, where i would take off your shoes and glasses, grab a Gatorade and snuggle you into my tiny twin sized bed ad put you to sleep. Caring for your heart was my greatest pleasure... until the day i broke it. Looking back at that weekend, and the choices i made and where it has lead me now i can't believe i was so careless. Talking to you sometimes becomes so overwhelming. but like the godly forgiver you are you remained kind to me. you stayed a friend and listened to me poor my heart out over all the pain im currently am going through. but do not think that i don't catch some of your light flirting baby boy. do not think that the few times we've face timed over the past year that my heart didn't give a squeeze. The blood still rushes to my cheeks whenever you smile at me or even when you send the winks and blown kiss emojis, even out of sarcasm.  Thank you. for every moment from the day you changed my laundry to right now as you tell me about your coffee shop dreams.  for every moment you lent your ear to my secrets and stresses and your neck to my kisses. For staying modest with my indiscretions. and for opening the eyes of a straight little white girl and confusing the shit out of my body because dear lord watching you undress was a gift sent straght from the heavens.

My soon to be past and still my forever future. For the rest of my life i will have to look you in the eye and wonder why i wasn't good enough for you to love. Why was i so easy to give up on? The day i said for better or for worse i meant it. so why was it that i wasn't worth it? why was going out and partying, and spending money we didn't have, or sleeping with woman that weren't me worth it over face timing your daughter and your wife? The obstacles that i conquered in order to be once again in your arms and this is what i have to show for it. But, even as i type this i  am slowly realizing i am better than this. after hours of sitting in the shower bawling, nights of not eating, lack of sleep and weeks where i missed days of work trying to get this figured out i realized i am worth it. Through this all i was shown a lot of things. The first being that the friends i gave up in order to make you happy never truly left me, they took a step back and waited for me. Waited for me to fall so they could pick me back up. through the "have you eaten today", the "Let me give the baby a bath tonight you go relax" the "Were making dinner tonight go take a shower" through the " well take the baby today get some sleep" i realized i do have people who support me. You may have never supported me, but they do, and they have shown me when you couldn't that love is shown in all different ways, and just because you don't love me doesn't mean that no one loves me, it just means that i am worth being loved by the ones who mattered. though you mattered to me i didn't matter to you. And with time ill be able to hold my head a little higher each time i see you. And maybe one day, at our daughters birthday party, kindergarten graduation, wedding or birth of our grandchildren ill be able to look at you with a not only forgiveness but happiness that we are both were we deserve to be in life.

Id like to say i remember the day i met you  but i don't. Id like to say i remember the first conversation we ever had but unfortunately i don't. I do remember where you were the day i graduated boot camp, i do remember what you were wearing the day you graduated high school. i know you shoe size, and what your hair feels like falling through my fingers is memorized. i know the color of each ring of your iris.  I know the groves of you finger nail that you tore the tendons from when we were in high school and had to have fixed. I remember what it felt like to watch you hold my daughter for the first time. I remember how bad it hurts to watch you leave after every visit. you have been by my side for almost 8 years. you held my hand through every heart break, and almost killed the first one on multiple occasions. i think he still is in therapy for it to be honest. And i don't think i ever properly thanked you for the amount of time you have put into me. my dear best friend. you are the true love of my life.

Because i know a certain someone is waiting to read i’m posting half now. I still have so much more to write. but your piece is here. and as time grows and i finally make it across the world, id like to see where it goes. we are both different people now, but that's what happens as the tides of life change babyboy, and i look forward to our coffee gossip dates and seeing that sweet, sweet smile light up the town again. Remember to drink shock top for me.