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#this feeling is so eurphoric
that-odd-jackal · 23 days
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calling your hands and feet “paws” >>>
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gwagwagwagoogoo · 9 months
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Spilling yourself to a void, stapling your organs on the wall for display, is a cathartic eurphoric relief few can indulge in
I do Not expect myself to be watched here, underneath certain scrutinizing eyes I only expect the eternally comforting relief of nothingness
Its like screaming into nothingness and having nothing reply back to you, not a single remark or question, and it is fulfilling and lovely to simply suffer no consequence
No essence of guilt, safety in absence
Its humbling, and soul crushing, to realize Your permanence to others ultimately when the void suddenly forms into a lively ocean, and the reminder and weight of your words and actions come crumbling down
But I know only few here, and they are my closest, I’d let them see me at my worst for i am assure of our position- I know them and they know me
And the rest are strangers whom I mingle with in passing, like stray brushing of elbows with strangers in public, even then they do not know me, I do not know them, therefore there is nothing to fear
The true fear is in the between, what lies between famailarity and sudden unknown, the worst stages where you can’t predict how much you can say nor be trusted with. The weight of consequence is stronger, as you weasel your way through what is comfort and what is resentment
The ocean seems dim upon the surface, without light, simply moving without purpose but inside is a network of connections that will react. And then suddenly the void seems less scary, the quiet unfeeling abyss, rather than beauty and life
I close my eyes and then ignorance is bliss, I feel the ocean lap at my toes yet I pretend there is nothing. So when I scream out, I show no fear, and no remorse and then I get it out. It will crawl up my throat, ravage my ribs, and pull my tongue out. It is humility and torment, for it is what comes from within me. Even if it is nothing bad, it still comes from me, so it is bad. Will comes with a horrible price, value within yourself comes with an ego you’d be willingly to kill for. There is no balance, it just is, it sways and fluctuates, as does what comes within me.
With every word and manner, it is inconsistent. Am I allowed inconsistency, or must I present constantly, or am I allowed to enjoy the pretend void in which I scream in even if it crashes against the shore in acute reality.
Abstract and nonlinear thoughts through preparation, to give myself a sense to solidify, before I pry my eyes open and force myself to look into the ocean
I don’t know why I wrote all of this shit nor do I even know what I mean, sometimes I want to write it vaguely and abstract to feel something about it and comprehend it differently
Or to turn my confliction into odd art and be okay with it
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septic-9mil · 3 months
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So happy rn:) i feel so eurphoric for no reason i really think I look like a boy rn
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dizzyydevil · 4 months
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oh dressing up for christmas is the most gender eurphoric part of the year it feels so great
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venusisgeeky · 2 years
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Tumblr media
Billy x stu one shot- "mistakes like this"
Warnings- ansgt, sad, mentions of death, blood, violence
A/n I hope you all like this, I was planning on posting it to Wattpad and then I was like "why not Tumblr please feel free to like and reblog it would mean a lot. Also please send in requests I'd love to do more writing.
Gif is not mine
It wasn’t my intention. I’m not suppose to care, but i can’t shoved the feeling that i hurt the one person i love, the one i realize has never left. Stu stares up at me and i see the words “it’s okay, you did what you had to” fall from his lips in voiceless movements. Those same lips i kissed four nights before, knowing our plan could mean life or death if gone wrong. I didn't care but now I'm not so sure. I’m a psychopath but feel so much for the blond boy.
“I don’t want you to leave me, F**k” I whisper under my breath, raking my hands through my hair. I don’t believe in god but i pray stu couldn’t hear me, showing any ounce of emotion makes people vulnerable and i hate being vunerable. I should be freaking happy, i finally manage to put a bullet in that bitch sidney and let me tell you seeing blood leak out of her felt eurphoric. Instead i worried that my partner in crime will lose his last breath. I never understand how much stu meant until i see him on the edge of death. I kneel next to him, grabing his bloodied hand and placing it on my forehead. I feel tear escape my cold blue eyes, i couldn’t hold the rain in anymore so i let them fall. A sudden desire to have stu’s last memory be my vulnerability, wanting to show i can have somewhat of a heart.
“Billy it’s okay, you didn’t mean to hurt me that deep.” stu reasures weakly moving his hand to wipe the tears, trying to make the guilt go away. Trying is all he can do though.
“That wasn’t the plan!” my grittle voice yells,frustrated. Without thinking, I hit Stu’s stomach (with a fist i didn’t know i was making), which made him let out a groan of pain. A groan turning my soft tears into hard sobs. “I was only suppose to stab deep enough to make you look like a victim of near death, not actually kill you” My voice was breaking like glass with each word. Not helping was the idea a police care or a ambulance wouldn’t be here in time to save Stu.
“Please don’t cry man, it won’t help any of us in the end. So what if i die? We knew this would be a conequence.” Stu’s breath was getting more shallow by the second.
“I’m not ready to let you go”
“Please.”
“No!” I yell out again, this time hitting the floor. How can Stu be so stupid?
“Why?!?” stu exasperatedly yelled suddenly, "Why do you care so much?!?”
I took a deep breath, looking straight into his aqua marine eyes “Because man I f**king love you.”
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allywritesforfun · 2 years
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actually crying rn because im so proud of myself and i’m out here living my best life and i feel so happy rn and i haven’t been this happy since middle school
i’m doing my sophomore level college class as a senior in high school and listening to helium with dim led lights and i get to keep my guinea pigs which is so irrelevant. here i am, telling you guys on a tumblr made for a passion of mine that i suppressed for years. for once i feel accomplished.
this moment right here, is so eurphoric to me. i never thought i would make it this far and be so excited to just take a moment to breathe. i have never loved life more than i am rn
thank you 1.4k followers
<3
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aastarions · 2 years
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sobbing thinking about kissing itadori yuuji at midnight on new year’s eve (day? at that point? idk), the taste of cheap champagne on his lips as his cheeks flourish into a deep pink flush, unable to do anything but accept the warmth of your mouth and allow his eyes to flutter shut. his arms remain at his sides because he’s so stunned, he hadn’t expected the one his heart’s secretly belonged to for months to grant him the blessing of being his first new year’s kiss, and he certainly hopes its not the last
“happy new year, yuuji,” you pull back momentarily, stars dancing in your vision as you brush your nose over his, inviting him for more. and boy, when the gears finally settle into place in his head, he doesn’t hesitate. strong hands grabbing at your soft hips as he crashes his lips back onto yours, chasing the taste of you, the feel of you, all of you. 
yeah, it’s looking like his new year is already starting off happy, if not eurphoric
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bungeenomin · 3 years
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THE PLAYERS GAME- XIAOJUN X Y/N SOCIAL MEDIA AU {40}
Your lips move in synchronisation under the night sky. Nothing could ruin this moment, your hand placed on Dejun cheek, his hands holding very low on your hips.
A soft moan leaves your lips as Dejun bites down on your bottom lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth. “Fuck” he mumbles against your lips, as you push things further, bringing one of your legs across him to straddle him, dragging you both to a sitting up position, your lips never leaving each other’s.
You drag him closer by the neck, your chests sitting tightly together. Dejun leaves out a heavy breath as he drops his hands lower, placing them over your ass and squeezing, causing another moan to escape from your lips, driving Dejun insane.
You finally pull away, a big smile on your lips as you hold your foreheads together. “We’re still in public” you giggle breathily, still recovering from your antics.
“Everyone can just look away” he challenges, a cheeky smile displayed on his lips.
“Nice try” you smile, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, keeping your straddling position on his lap.
“Are you happy?” Dejun questions, as if he doesn’t know the answer.
“Extremely” you whisper, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.
You stay like that for a few minutes, lost in your own little world. Just you and Dejun. Once you have each other, nothing else matters. That’s until you notice one of the university security guards on patrol.
“Fuck, there’s security guards out” you whisper, still not moving from Dejun’s lap.
“Guess that’s my que to get you home huh?” Dejun sighs, kissing your lips softly.
“Security guards are really against character progression” you giggle, as you drag Dejun up from the ground, kissing his lips quickly once he’s up.
“So many kisses” he smiles, pulling a stand of hair out of your face.
“Now that i’ve started there’s no stopping me” you joke, “you’re gonna have to deal with constant kisses from me”
Dejun can’t hold back the endearing smile on his lips. He doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy. He feels whole. “I can’t complain about that angel, i love your kisses”
You quickly pack up your things before walking hand in hand to your dorm. The walk is too short for both your likings because before you know it you’re both standing outside your door.
“I had fun today” you whisper, being cautious of the people probably sleeping in the dorm around you.
“So did i baby” Dejun replies, placing his hands on your waist and bringing your foreheads together.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” you ask.
“You know it” Dejun replies.
You bring your lips to Dejun’s once again, feeling that addictive feeling once again, before pulling apart, “Bye baby”.
“Bye angel” Dejun smiles, before turing and going on his way to his dorm.
The second you enter your dorm the smile that’s displayed on your face is almost painful. You kissed. You finally kissed the boy who’s taken your heart so unexpectedly. You feel eurphoric and tonight, you’re going asleep with a happy heart and lips longing for a certain pair to join them again, with one boy on your mind.
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feel free to send me questions/opinions about the au!
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socialmedia!au xiaojun!au wayv!au nct!au
pairing: xiaojun X y/n
genre: college!au , fluff , angst
warnings: smut, oral, sex
summary: Hockey player!Xiaojun is the biggest player in UCS, both on and off the ice. He has a different girl practically every time you see him. But when y/n has to learn all about the player for a psychology project, will she just be another girl that’s dragged into his game?
taglist: @xiaojunsmintchocci @whoe-dis @yancupidxhyunjin @bvbyxuxi @ngayongabi @kswblueprint @kylomeyon @neocluefor @amymoonl @ta3ilmoon @thatonekpopsweater @captainasianllama @bubudays @glxwingstar @bby-kji9 @simplicitysbabe @skittlez-area512 @crybabybomin @this-is-the-bbc @xiaodejunfair @jeonlovers @junglewoos @absolutefantrash @yoongsicles @ksoolive @ajhdr @mxrcayong @kuntenwinluxiaohenyang @bubblywonu @markistheloveofmylife @llamajuns @queen-of-himbos @doyoungsarabbit
ask to be added!
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obese-to-thin · 4 years
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I did so much better today. I nearly had one of the cupcakes my nan brought but I actually listened to my body and realised that I wasn’t hungry. Did I need that cupcake? No. So I didn’t have it. That took a lot of me to not have it but I resisted netherless and ana is very happy with me right now because of it. The control feels so eurphoric.
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vioketkitten-blog · 4 years
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Going to reach 119
I am about 124/125lbs. Going to only eat veggies all weekend so I can get on the scale and have it say 119lbs soon. The lowest I have ever gotten is 120.8lbs. Going to see what 119lbs feels like. I bet it will be eurphoric. I am 5 foot 8 inches and a bit.
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🐺 Growl at my muse ( warprize )
@asgardianhammer
“We must get him back in his cage or his highness-”
“What? You think Odin’s devourer will do worse than this one?! Pah! I’m not going in there!”
The first guard was mocking now outside the stable doors, if a little hysterically, high and thin despite his baratone, “Well he certainly won’t do better, Ironson!”
“Haha! You want to bet on it!”
“Aye, I do-” There was the clang of metal on metal, the voice rising in volume until it was practically a shout, “-Of course I don’t, you fool!! How about you stay out here all high and mighty and fucking blind and bet my innards on it huh, how about that? You like that? You feel better? We’ll gift them to his highness as a necklace to appease him as to why his pet isn’t in the cage yet!!”
“… It’s just a Jötunn-”
“Fífl, just look at her!! Look. At. Her. Look at what he did to her!”
For the Aesir the stakes were truly high-octane this round, Loki’s insanity noted somewhere in his drug-soup of consciousness. One bloody azure heel slithered and resettled amongst the organs of the dead guards. Marked fingers pushing straw and bodyparts aside, clearing himself a path. 
Thor would be pleased. A victory for the Dungpile with the Hammer … the golden bairn … glory to the insane welp. It was too late though. Too late to know that Loki should never have fought in this arena with what he truly was. Never have submitted, to himself, to his training, to shaming the other Asgardian noble’s pets so thoroughly, decimating them, like a wrecking ball exposing the Aesir’s system for what it was. The arena had only been for collared brutes. Savages. Animals. His ilk, apparently.
They had underestimated a Seidr-less Jötunn. Even Thor. To the vile beserker’s delight.
In the corner, Loki pushed himself up to sitting, head lounging back painfully against the stone wall. Jaw locked. He should have let himself die with the first blow, the first fight, months ago. It was a eurphoric thought that he could have stolen the power of his own life right from beneath the eye of Odin’s spawn then. Wouldn’t that be a blessing he did not deserve. Peaceful even, peaceful … he couldn’t remember such a thing. Farbauti’s training had always made it impossible. Made it all impossible. So he had been made to fight. Again. And again.
He was - to Asgard’s shock - prime entertainment.
They handicapped him now. Pumped his body full of things. It made no difference. He won. He always won. His cock caged under the leathers they made him wear - gold, everything is gold in Asgard, the thought drifted in but did not stay - it was a strange outline under what was meant to display to the Realm Eternal the coiled and powerful lines of his legs, his body. And he ached there. He strained. The aphrodisiac potent in the blood, but in his broken temple, it emerged all wrong, chaos wanting to morph, to hunt, to run strong under Yggdrasil’s light across the cool, the ice, the snow-covered terrain, claws tearing up the soil, fangs bared, to bite, to bite—
A crimson glow flickered under the cover of Loki’s lashes, another pant emerging through his wet, sharp, and dripping teeth. Blood. The parching of his thirst from a sweet throat, the sustenance torn of the guard who had attempted his caging. Beautifully wet. Salt between his teeth. 
Blue sparks hissed out from seams of the magical collar about his neck, angry in his stead where only agony and bliss contorted the azure brow. Nothing else bound him, not arm nor ankle, but he could not stand, despite it. His body betrayed him.
What was new … what was new …
It was the scent the beast reacted to. Eyes flying open, but only managing a bleary half-mast - and the growl, oh that was dual-toned, larger than life around the small stable they had managed to lock him within. He was too weak to stand. To drugged to think. He knew nothing but impulse, and instinct. Rage and lust, imposible to tangle apart.
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sweetbunnykook · 5 years
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Bunny I’m loving Mafia jk!! How would he react to accidentally getting her pregnant?
Ecstatic. Thrilled. Eurphoric.
Mafia!JK loves kids! He is a bit of a husband in private so he has no worries about getting noona pregnant lmao although she feels differently. I think noona would be more than worried because she doesn’t want to raise a child in a life of crime. But with JK as a father, she knows the child will be as spoiled as him and will get the best protection squad. 
It will be upsetting though that the child won’t have a normal life. But noona will do her best to protect the boy/girl as much as possible. 
- 🐰
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tobewholeagain · 5 years
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My underpaying and physically demanding job caused me a back injury last week while being forced into a relief role against my wishes, without the higher pay the the position has. All that despite the fact I was even TRAINING the person taking over the fucking role who will, and here’s the best part, get a better goddamn pay than me even though I’ve literally done all the work. Not a single shred of gratitude, just a passive aggressive phone call interrogating the details on my injured back. So yeah, I took another day. I am so full of anger and exhaustion and complete and utter indifference to every element of this ‘life.’ I’m fueled on uppers and downers, like a goddamn downward spiral roller coaster ride of eurphoric highs and numbed lows. With Eyes rolling into the back of my skull topsy turvy spine rolling impulsivity, to numbed realities and secrets, untouchable in this fuzzy bubble of acceptable until the cloud turns to rainstorms and it sends me back into oblivion. When you’re dead inside, all you can think about is what and how you’re going to feel anything except exactly that. But when you feel everything all at once, you would pierce your own eardrums just to make make the deafening noise stop. Every day I am already mourning, the loss of me and the person that I was on my way to being. The life I thought I had such a strong grasp of. The love in my chest that turned into concrete and buried me alive. I am so alive that I am dead; and I am so dead that I am alive. The question really is, what existence is no existence at all?
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binnieseason · 5 years
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ya know??? I really love you and your content so much like they never fail to make me smile and just feel happy! I had a really stressing day today but your gifs and your account made me so happy so I just had to say it!! hehe you made happy anon happier than happy!! perhaps eurphoric??? anyhow please know that I will always support you no matter what and that I will always be here and if anyone is being rude, I will detoxify your ask box and everything! so fear nor for I am here!! love you lots
aaa bby :(( this is so nice i’m so glad i can make u happy !! hope whatever is stressing u has gone away!! if not, hope it goes away soon!! glad i was able to help u somehow hehe 💕✨lov u too!! 
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voidmilo · 2 years
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I'm feeling both eurphoric but also dysphoric at the same time ?!? Like a tik tok filter and the clothing im wearing makes me feel so good and handsome , but then knowing I'll never reach that point and on top of that being so confused on if I'm trans or just overthinking my feelings.
Is this normal or am I just going insane?
why is gender so damn confusing.
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