#this is so scary i am so scared. this is INSANE i am so insane!!!!!!!!!

[techmomma]

I am increasingly certain after 34 years of life that if you are afraid of something, if you want to get better, then you have to face it. Maybe you face it in little pieces. Maybe you face it with help or holding someone's hand, preferably in a safe environment but not everyone has that luxury. But exposure and being around what scares you is the only way to make it better.

Afraid of the ocean? Go touch the ocean.

Afraid of crowds? Go be around crowds for a time.

Afraid of being alone? Gonna have to be alone for a time.

Afraid of death? Talk about death, maybe go to a cemetary.

Afraid of becoming your parents? Gonna have to face the idea that you ARE probably like them to an extent, in order to NOT be like them.

Afraid of people not liking you? Gonna have to be not liked, sometimes.

Afraid of those thoughts saying you're a bad person. Gonna have to go talk to those thoughts.

Because humans are funny, paradoxical creatures, and almost always, the answer to being afraid of something is embracing it.

The more we embrace the thing we're scared of, the less control it has over us.

But, sometimes, people are also afraid of getting better. The decision to embrace our fears is not one that everyone takes.

Because sometimes, the fear of what is involved in getting better is greater than the original fear itself. It turns into a self-eating ouroboros.

Brought to you by me remembering me avoiding doing scary things and that made them worse and the only thing that makes them better is doing the scary things, even when scared.

#also brought to you by every time I've done something that seemed kinda insane or terrifying and people were like WHY STEPH #'I did it because I was scared of it.' #'what' #'to teach my brain that my imagination is always scarier than the reality' #I don't do scary shit because I'm not scared #I do it because I AM scared #I don't go talking to strangers because I love talking to strangers #I do it because I'm afraid of strangers. but I don't want to be. #I am so scared all of the time man #no matter how goofy or silly I look to other people or how quickly I volunteer for shit #that is more than 15 years of trying to face face my fears #15 years of fucking practice #and if never ends

[pepprs]

halfway thru my first drivers ed session. idk if i can do this aftually lol

#purrs #there’s like 30+ ppl in the class and most of them are high schoolers who already have like at least 20-30 hrs and i have 3. also the #instructor is really nice and means well but she is also a little clueless and she embarrassed me in front of everyone (or maybe i #embarrassed myself) bc she had us all introduce ourselves and say what we like to do and i said play video games and she was like oh are you #a bit of a gamer 👀 have you been to any of those conventions. LIKE 💀😭 NO I JUST PLAY SILLY LITTLE PET GAMES….. #but ajyways um. i don’t have enough driving experience to start behind the wheel lessons yet 💀💀💀💀💀 and we r watching videos rn and it’s so s #scary like istill have such trouble even maneuvering the car around how am isupposed to develop situational awareness and be driving on high #hihways and shit. this is so overwhelming. it’s like ‘every moment ur behind the wheel u and the ppl around u are at risk’ well idont want t #to be at risk or risk others lives. but also i need to move out. help 💔💖 #anyways this class has INSANELY long breaks (like 15+ mins thank god) and we might be able to end early every day too so. fingers crossed it #wont be that bad and i’ll actually retain stuff and learn to drive fucking finally. but im so scared #also on thursday we are watching a video depicting a graphic c*r cr*sh so. that’s just fucking great #drivers ed tag

[jackgoodfellow]

My pitbull is completely convinced that everyone at the weed dispensary is there specifically to say hi to him. People love him there so much (and he loves so much that they showed up today just for him) that today he attempted to become the store greeter and sat right at the door as people walked in.

And while queer stoners apparently love pitbulls, I had to pull him away - Romeo does NOT understand he is 80 pounds of muscle and teeth and therefore cannot lie in wait at the only entrance into a building, no matter his intentions. He is just stumped by it. After all, as far as he knows, he is an extremely tiny guy! Maybe even the tiniest! He may actually be TOO tiny! Perhaps that is why people fear him. They think he is a mouse, for no dog has ever been so smol, so miniscule. But fear not, everyone - it is only Romeo!

Alas, for every chihuahua that thinks it is a pitbull, there is a pitbull what thinks it is a chihuahua. But good news they both have anxiety!!!!

#original #doggos #pitbulls #pibbles #romeo #i am very careful with him i know people are scared of dogs very often and he is actually very well trained. #and frankly there is no judgment when folks are scared of - well of any dog - but especially of him #anti pitbull sentiment is based on falsehoods but wariness of large predator animals that could beat you in a fight is like. i get that. #he is a scary looking motherfucker. especially if you don't understand dog body language like... really well at times. #like it can be fairly obvious when a dog is happy but it is often not obvious when it is anxious. and a scared dog is a dangerous dog. #luckily romeo is a very friendly guy so mostly i just spend the time at the weed store getting complimented on my dog #and keeping him from saying hello to people and dogs who aren't interested in him #he loves like his namesake: with his whole being and in a way that is often wildly inconvenient for everyone involved #he had an insanely intense playful dog friend in our old city named Barbara. she was his Mercutio. #the world is his Juliet. #not art #see jack talk

[snarlingteeth]

Once you see what I am,

More feral than tame

More wolf than dog

More monster than victim

Will you turn away and run?

#Everytime I reveal to people how insane I actually am people get so scared or #or they just ignore it #or worst case scenario they find it hot for some reason wnd don’t want me to heal which is the worst to me #anyways #actually bpd #everyone wants a troubled scary guy until you realize that means he’s got PROBLEMS #not me feeling horrible Everytime I reveal that I have very strong delusions and hallucinations and a completely distorted view of reality #but I’m self aware so it’s fine #actually delusional #depression #anxiety #chronic depression #snarlwhines #this is just a massive vent #vent blog #shout out to my irl friends this isn’t targeted <3

[just-rogi]

.

#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it?? #I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

[startreatment]

i love when i get all delusional and go "ohhh i'm for sure becoming a k-pop fan™️ in the near future" and then i listen to anything outside of my 4 favourite groups and it's like oh! everything is fine actually lol no need to worry

#like i know you shouldn't judge a group by a couple of songs and i enjoy quite a few of different kpop artists #because i loveeee pop music. always did and always will!!! #but giving them anything more than the 'oh this is fun!' label? hmmmmmm... nope #there are so many shitty songs getting insanely popular you guys. very scary! i am scared #post.txt

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Haiii hello :3 I’m back again with more stsg thoughts !! So,, I feel like we can all recognise that teen stsg are complete and utter losers BUT there are quite a few scenes in the anime that make it obvious that the both of them are capable of being serious to protect people when it’s necessary.. and it made me think of how they would react if you got seriously injured hmmm HMMMMM (this totally isn’t yummy to me because I wanna see feral protective stsg…. Totally…..) or maybe it’s a lil like when Toji told sugu that he killed satoru hhhh … like ur all on a mission together and u get separated somehow and satoru is like “where tf did y/n go 🙁🙁” and whoever they’re fighting comes outta nowhere like “oh I killed th-“ 💥💥💥💥💥💥 ‘n it turns out you’re just a little injured 😭😭 but I feel like they’d be sooo dramatic and worried about you :( and satoru “jokes” that now they won’t be able to leave u alone incase u get injured again…he’s just gonna have to keep an eye on u and protect u forever and ever (he means it) and sugu js goes full mother mode like he’s forcing u to stay in bed, makes you soup, reminds u to take pain meds and listens to every word of advice the doctor gives to help u recover from the injury 💔💔 hrherh I know this wasn’t as long as my usual asks but I thought it was cute and I’ve been thinking about the stupid losers all day… can’t wait to see the sashisu thing uve been working on too !! I love them sooo much I know shoko doesn’t get much love in this fandom :( loser boys (stsg) taking up too much of the spotlight smh…. Move outta the way…. It’s bae shokos turn…. (Joke I still love stsg💔) but she’s my cute tired loser wife with a coffee addiction and I hold her very dear to my heart she’s my princess with a disorder (the disorder is depression) hehe I hope u have a wonderful day/night/whatever time it is for uuu !! — stsg anon !! 💗🌸

had to go into pixlr to make this r u proud of me…. HEHEH STSG ANON MY SWEETIE my number one supplier of treats <33333 i loveloveloveeee feral protective stsg…. ure so real…… they’re both wolfboys at heart i think .

but ohhhh u always get them perfectly….. toru joking around to lighten to mood (but he’s actually not joking at all) while sugu goes mother hen mode……… :((( they’re both sooo so worried. there’s nothing they wouldn’t do to protect u!!!….. one scenario i keep thinking of is reader falling down a set of stairs or slipping on a patch of ice when it’s cold n slippery outside…. and spraining their ankle… so stsg has to take care of them and they’re both just. Wrecks. bc they feel sooo guilty and they hate seeing u in pain….. i imagine that it’d hit sugu extra hard so toru tries to be more serious and mature than usual to make up for it!! idk i just feel like sugu is especially prone to blaming himself over things like this :((( even if it wasn’t his fault at all…. and he tries to distract himself from the shame by tending to u like a baby chick. makes u food and carries u around the house…. sits u down on his lap and tries to distract u from the way his eyes gloss over w tears bc he can’t stop looking at the cast on ur foot and he just feels so incredibly guilty :((((((((….. sniffle. i wanna hug him.

i got carried away phfkdjkdkf BUT I LOVE YOUUU STSG ANON and i love this concept sm…….. they’re both papabears :((( i feel like satoru gets a lot more serious when you’re injured, while suguru gets more meek than usual…. it’s kind of a reversal of their usual roles but it’s great bc they balance each other out !! :3 like. in the scenario above i feel like satoru might get frustrated bc they told you to be careful not to slip on the ice or whatever but suguru is there to remind him that you’re in pain and that it was an accident :(( and when it’s a more minor injury i think suguru is the one to get slightly condescending bc why would you go out into the rain without a jacket?? /obviously/ you’d catch a cold, dummy. and satoru is there to defend your honour with his life LMAO…… they’re sooo so silly.

ALSOOOO STSG ANON ….. i’m so glad that ure excited for the sashisu fic 😭😭😭 that made me so happy!!! i agree sm, shoko is sooo underrated she’s my little meow meow i love her sm :((

she’s my cute tired loser wife with a coffee addiction and I hold her very dear to my heart she’s my princess with a disorder (the disorder is depression)

YOU’RE SO REALLLLL PDHFJJDJF MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER <3…. i knew i could trust u stsg anon, she’s SUCH a loser and we don’t talk abt it enough smh. she’s literally soooo similar to stsg like they’re all the same… soft sappy silly little losers…… oh how i love them so <33

#THANK U FOR THE FOOD BELOVED i hope u have a wonderful day/night too :33 #it’s pretty late where i am but im gonna stay up a lil longer hehe #ALSOOOO STSG ANON pls dw abt the lenght of ur asks!! there’s never ever any pressure for u to send in long asks/stsg asks/anything at all! #ily and appreciate u always <333 it’s always fun talking to u no matter what!!!!! #but sighhh. feral stsg…. they make me so insane….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #wolfboys truly. they’re Scary when they’re mad but they’d never be like that w u :(( #but like. if someone were to catcall u….. or if a creep was talking to u…… ohhhh Boy #they can and WILL intimidate the hell out of said creep and probably scare u in the process LMAO #but then they’re back to being ur silly soft losers and it’s like ???? WHO R U ? #i love them so bad thank u for being insane abt them w me stsg anon #ask tag ✩ #stsg anon !! ✩

[loveofastarvingdog]

got through the scariest fic of my LIFE.

#it was terrifying for normal guy reasons #(<- guy who is specifically scared of fwb fics and especially ones with angst and people finding out before they're actually Together) #genuinely got so so anxious. BUT. they fucked sloppy insane style and fell in love and it ended up okay in the end <3 #love was in the blowjob. AS USUAL !! not even surprised anymore #minors dni #tw nsft #wait holy fuck am i in a sex repulsed moment right now???? is that why it was uncomfortable?? #wait. no it was just scary. thank god #timothy's txts.

[bluewaterhigh2005]

vampire academy tv show actually being Good And Fun is so bad for my mental health because last night i literally dreamed a fully formed short story that richelle mead dropped with no warning and it was about SYDNEY AND ADRIAN set post va but pre bloodlines (which is kinda funny because them hanging out then lowkey retcons all of bloodlines skfjskfj) where they teamed up to go undercover on big brother australia. adrian won <3

#and now i want to DIEEEEE because i miss them so bad. i am sooooo scared for the show to introduce adrian (next week i think?) #like i do NAWWWWT trust julie plec with The character of all time. that's scary who else is scared #anyway. not to be very cringe about a ya vampire couple who were last relevant in like 2014. but sydrian literally transcended #the yearning the devotion the angst. they served and they slayed at every turn. i love u heterosexuals #i reread bloodlines less than a year ago but what if i..... NO!!! bad liljana. #but oh no. just thought about show eddie my sweet baby being tricked by sydney so he'll be safe when the alchemists kidnap her #I HOPE I DIE!!!!! #anyway. stream vampire academy 2022 but more importantly read bloodlines the most insane nd romantic books of all time <3 #shut up lil

[arthur-r]

i love (love) (/not correct not sincere this is an untrue fact about myself) dissociating at band practice and then being expected to sing about wanting to kill myself it’s so fun

#fuck. like i’m the person writing these songs but they are not for these moments #catharsis is something you can experience while you have some semblance of a will to live. not when you are staring into space blankly #feeling like a broken person. and actually at that very moment wanting to die #anyway i’ll be okay. just got home. this mom and kid were in the elevator with me up to the apartment and the mom recognized my cello #(​as being a cello i mean) and asked me about it and i told her i’m in a punk band about it and she said that’s the coolest thing #so that was good and cool. and they live on the third floor i live on the first so i might not see them again. but it was nice #and band was fine. and my band likes my song. but sometimes it actually is bad to sing about this stuff sometimes #(especially because it’s like. this particular song is also about. insecurities in relationship. and i’m able to play the song because i #don’t really feel those insecurities as much any more and i’m in a better place with regards to. not spiralling about being loved. however #that only applies to the relationship insecurities of that moment. when i was writing it. and i went a while without developing new ones #but now there’s a lot of irl friendships that feel as unstable as i felt at that time. and so now the song means something to me directly #and now it hurts again. and it’s not good. i’m like scared for certain people to ever hear it) #anyway my mom and little sister are actively waiting for me to come out of the bathroom where i sit typing this. and tell them how band was #and whatever i say will not involve any of these facts. but i sure have to go say it #so idk. i love you guys. struggling a bit. but i’ll be okay. scary current relationships mentioned = nobody here i feel pretty stable #i have built relationships that i feel confident about. with the most important people. and that is really good and i’m glad #there are other newer scarier relationships that i am going insane about. a teacher and two students and a coworker. wish me luck #anyway i have to go. but yeah. idk. i’m so tired. heading out now. be back in a bit #me. my post. mine. #delete later #suicide mention #ask to tag #vent cw #(kind of) #friends only

[mare-the-silly-scroingle]

i think i'm falling apart entirely which is really stupid But i can't get myself to submit this stupid fucking form. and i cant look my best friend in the eyes. and i still am trying to plan this trip with the person i used to have a crush on but dont feel much of anything for anymore. and therapy is a week from now and i just want to do something fun but i havent done anything fun in a while. So i guess im losing my mind and fracturing. its so fucking cold in my room

#honestly i just need to see this ex crush in person Bc we saw each other for maybe 2 seconds yesterday #and then they texted me and i texted back and i sent them another text just now #and like they have said nice things to me but like. Its so. i dont know #and like i think most of all i just want to be able to interact normally w my best friend #before i got high and started calling him my best friend #bc now i cant tell what the fuck our dynamic is supposed to be like Like #ppl thought we were dating which is insane and also really funny but like clearly we're really close #and clearly he cares but is that not like so fucking scary #i didnt want to be the emotional mess i was but like i was and now i feel like i dont know what to say #people saw me as i am. and i have to live w that. and i still have so much to do #andim scared to tell ppl that im having this response Bc they know i had a bad high for part of it. #and they know i see it as a success but they like KNOW osmehting happened i basically explained it #like mentioned my psychosis and shit like bc i had to right #but i dont want to tell my roommates im feeling this way. Bc then they will want me to not do it again #and like maybe thats a good idea. i just dont want them to be upset w my friends though #neg

[krispiecake]

biological father finally text me after ignoring me for like 2 1/2 weeks and he started his message with ‘oh how i have..’ and ended it ‘thanks for reading’ this man might actually be deranged

#TALK TO ME LIKE A PERSON?????????? I AM LITERALLY YOUR FIRST BORN??????????????? #bro said he is ‘genuinely scared to speak with’ me. #YOU ARW A FIFTY YEAR OLD GROWN ASS MAN. #im soooo scary you never know what tired autistic 20yr olds will do next its crazyyyyyy #anyway possibly the funniest way he could have text me so. i guess thats better than ignoring me??? #also as an aside. he simply refuses to start a sentence with ‘i’ for some reason??? so he just says ‘am’ instead of ‘i am’ #driving me insane alreadyyyy

[cathymee]

man why is joshua garcia so good at acting. unfair

#his aggressiveness and the hurt that it stems from...fuuuuck #it's scary to see (<- scared of men raising their voices lol) but also so sad...he's just so hurt and lost but also hey man. calm down #and he has that puppy look so...boy looks so pitiful. hope he suffers more /j #filipino shows posting again as i am going more insane ^^ #and i am sooo behind. i'm on ep26 and they're already on what? approaching to 40??? #hughggghh #rambles #shit should i start with tagging this series i feel like i'd ramble more about this in the future #oh well #unbreak my heart #umh

[inkats]

watching local with the realization ive got themes and the barebones plot. i could do something with this if i just.had the energy to outline properly. get the scenes down. but do i want to make a story?

#i think their video are neat and verbalize a lot my thoughts in a organized way #but i am unsure on his stance of characters. i think. personality is their opinions and views and backstory? #i think we might have the same ideas with different words but theyre different enough to make me think their wrong #anyway my thing is i dont want a self encapsulated story i think. #my little guys are tools to help me understand the world and people. cause thats hard! but if i have little guys i care about #and give them the problems i observe #and traits i dont quite get. scenarios that scare me. and play with that! #and in a way that just makes them shells #not anything real? the characters dont matter that much? #man writing and stories and existing in a world with other people is insane. its so fucking scary.

[itsmayaflor]

🧍🏽‍♀️

#it's been a week #is it time to talk about love on the tags of tumblr.com because I have no one to talk about this without judgement? #or without them thinking im insane? #is it time to externalize and mull it over? #yes it is time. #I love them so so much #I am so deeply gone for them #and they know #it feels lighter now that I told them that I can't stop thinking about them #but I still feel greedy because I want to be their friend like actual friend. more than we are already. because I think we are #I know there's no end for this need to be closer because I want so much #and I want to see them on video again #and I want them to see me #I want them to want to see me #and I just want to talk to them all the time but I can't impose my friendship on them and I'm scared #and the only thing that scares them is nope #I care so much I want them so much but not just in the way they know and want me back #I want them entirely and all consuming and it's scary #I'm scared because I don't want to be too much even though they told me I'm not #and I dont want to fall on the thing I always do #which is to wait for the other person to initiate things because I want to know they care #because I care too much and love them too much to fall on that. I want to believe their words when they said they cared #and I know Life is tough and I shouldn't burden them with initiating everything #but I can't unlearn this feeling of guilt and like I'm imposing when I initiate things #every day I have to talk myself out of feeling this #I don't want to lose them to this #I want them so much #just want to know everything about them because I get this insatiable curiosity when I'm in love and I know it doesn't go away ever #could ask for their tumblr and know more about the but then where will I vent? #on their dm while they're asleep apparently. and make their day ): and have them call me lovely )): god I'm so in love

[ambreiiigns]

i feel like i'm gonna make a secret ghost sideblog bc my art is fuckin bopping in this new era i'm in like i'm peaking in january. like. i need to post in on the tumblr. for the ghesties

#i am also 1. on my period and 2. EXASTIC from Going Out W My Squad causes so maybe this inspiration will wear off in the morning #exastic is spelled wrong probably. i don't care #are you ever terrified of your art being perceived like it's so. it's so scary to me it's debilitating like. it's insane how much it #fuckin Scares me fr fr. wtf #and in a weird way it's worse if people who know me see it #like it's fine if strangers see it. who care. I Care but like not as much just a normal amount of scare #but the thot of like?? mutuals??? friends???? seeing it and knowing it's mine???? knowing i made it???? makes me shit my PANTS!!!!!!!!!! FR #doesn't apply to i pinguini for whatever reason i'm never afraid of sending art to mike & karen i love you guys so much #but anyone else seeing my art? scary #too scary by far i was scared #so like. maybe secret sideblog someday #oh nay