#this man having such a distinct voice actually got me into anime

[makoden]

First Episode of the Stampede Dub is out...

WOOHOO JOHNNY IS STILL VASH! FUCK YEAH!

#trigun spoilers #trigun stampede #voice acting #makoden musings #this man having such a distinct voice actually got me into anime

[gardeningintrests]

Humans are weird : illusion of sound.

I'm pretty sure everyone here has at least experienced hearing sounds that aren't there. like someone calling your name or a distinct sound of your door opening.

now, I'm not sure if animals has this as well but i would assume no because of their prey and predator instinct. they cannot afford to have illusions of sounds because that is where they hear where their predator/prey is.

so lets assume only humans have this. We hear people call our names when they really didn't is like a body reaction when your parents call you and then waits for you to come down only speak.

ngl i hate it very much

so how would aliens react to this?

just a random day where the group of maaktraks got a new human crew member! they were very excited and made loads of preparations for the human!

the human officially joined the crew about a few days ago, but something is off about this human. We have made sure that they have no mentality problems we have to take note of, but it seems like the human will randomly scream a word that apparently according to the human guide book a sign of aggression especially with the tone he uses.

now we don't understand said problem, so we reach out to the captain to address this worrying condition.

"oh? the human seems fine to me, pretty hard working too."

"yes, captain. but it just sometimes the human will make noise of anger ad frustration after yelling the word "what" and its getting very worrying. do you think we need to ask the humans what's wrong?"

"the guide book does say that if we were to speak to the human and address problems is better than being on the sidelines, so i guess i will leave this matter to you."

"yes captain"

during lunch time, the crew voted that i, xinederlk will be the one asking. what a great day.

im terrified, it had only been a few days since the human arrived, we do not know if this human is calm or the aggression type. looking at the frustrated yells, i would assume the aggression type, but the human guidebook said that each and every human is unique and that we do not judge the human by its first appearance.

i approached the human

"hello human Adam?"

"? oh hello there team leader! what brings you here to the human cafeteria?"

"well, me and me crew has something to ask actually."

"oh? is it about the rear engine? don't worry about it, staklorn has fixed it a while ago."

"no no none of that dear human Adam"

"then what's the issue?"

Human Adam seems to be in a much more serious tone now, maybe that proves his professionality in task taking fields. humans are known to multitask after all.

" well, Human Adam sometimes yell the word "what" even when nothing is going on. and the crew and i are worried that there may be something upsetting you or making you say those words with frustration?"

"eh? frustration? you guys can know my feelings upon hearing my tone of voice?"

"that seems to be in our ability"

"man... well to say eh problem isn't actually any of the crew or ships fault."

"then what is causing this frustration?"

"its just that..i grew up in a strict home alright? My parents would call me and then never answer me until i am in front of them. that gets me very frustrated because something that could've been communicated through voice easily now needs to walk down stairs and look my parents in the face before telling me to clean my room."

"..."

"so now that I've grown up, my body is toggled to hear said sounds with no response because of the habit of my parents putting it on me since young. so I'm very sorry for the inconvenience"

"..."

"..."

"too much?"

that day xinederlk learned a lot about strict parenting

#humans are confusing #humans are weird #humans are space fae #humans are space orcs #human things #humanity #the more you know #storytime #humans being humans #humans #humans are crazy #humans are dumb #humans are strange #humans are space australians #space #humans are awesome

[eldritch-spouse]

Can Morrel teach me how to gut someone? I know I'm not a chef but I'm just really interested and it would be such a good bonding experience cough I have a gore fetish cough

[Hhhhn yes. Good.]

TW: Description of gore; Implied cannibalism; Erotic gore; You know the drill.

You haven't quite recovered since Morell slit his throat.

It was so quick. He's always so quick. Brutal. You keep getting surprised at how casually he'll massacre your kind like they're actual farm animals. It's so odd that the chef spares them a dehumanizing stare, genuinely perceiving these people in the likeness of mere creatures as soon as they're on his kitchen- And yet, you're somehow not in that category to him. Mercifully. Bizarrely. Suspiciously.

But hey, you had thought earlier, things already went to shit. You're never making it out of here. So you might as well lean into some less graceful urges.

" Are ya listenin', Piglet? Eyes up. "

Oh.

You had been fixated on the clean cut across the body's throat, having tuned out some of the chef's droning about how you have to cut around the anus and use zip ties to properly pinch it off, or what to do with the genitals -Testicles and such in this case- If you want to keep them. It's genuinely fascinating stuff to learn. Morell seems endlessly giddy to be teaching you this, and you're equally happy to obscenely watch him manhandle his meat stock.

A blink is all you offer when he finishes cutting off the upside-down dead man's shaft, placing it aside.

" Dingus. " He reprimands. " What do we do now? "

There's a pause as you flick through some shelves in your brain, pushing excitement aside. Well... Oh yes, you like this part.

" Uhm, cut from sternum to groin. "

The shroom lights up, grinning wide. " Smart piggy. " There's a breathless quality to his voice, his cheeks are vaguely blue with flustered enthusiasm, and there's blood stains on his smock where he's been palming at himself with a free hand whenever he wasn't using both to secure "the pig". You shudder, though Morell's next words are what makes a shine sparkle in your eyes.

" Ya wanna do this part, pumpkin? "

Your loins jump.

" Yes! Y- Yes please. "

He murmurs something into his scarf, as heated as you are, fetching a different knife from the table beside him, something you can handle. The chef moves to stand behind you, handing over the sharp utensil and pinching the skin where you need to start cutting. You can feel how hard he is and try to grind backwards, rewarded with a chaste bite to the shoulder.

" Focus. " He warns, playfully patting your hip. " Remember, slow an' easy, ya don' wanna puncture any organs. Gravity's gonna help ya some anyway. "

There's no way you'll make a mistake here, it's the part you like seeing him do the most, after all. Saliva sticks to your throat as you start zipping down carefully, hairs standing on end from the distinct sound of skin splitting apart. At some point, Morell's heavy breathing has you whining quietly in arousal.

" Fuck yeah, piglet. Ya got a talent. " He praises, as you appear to be doing exceptionally well for a first timer. Pride swells within you.

His hands go from stroking over your sides feverishly to sliding into your pants, rubbing at you through the thin fabric of your underwear with bloodied digits. Although your eyelids flutter and your legs tremble slightly, you're able to pull the main entrails out as they hang off their husk. Morell whispers praise for your prowess, occasionally commenting about how lucky he is to have found you.

Having been turned on beyond measure since the very start of this whole process, it doesn't take too long before you're getting close, bucking into the monster's rough motions while shakily cutting away at persistent connective tissue. He moans low at the sight and you honestly think you'll come if he does that again.

When you believe the step is completed, you fully give into the chef's lewd rubbing, head tossing onto his back as you desperately chase after that sweet coil, holding onto his arms, clipping out moans, so very close-

Until that hand slips out your pants.

And, to be perfectly frank, only the smallest bit of self-control prevented you from stabbing him in frustration.

" But-! "

Morell barks his laughter, teasingly slapping your now sensitive nethers, before placing a chaste peck on your cheek.

" Hold them horses, we ain't even got to tha ribs, darlin'. "

Absolute asshole. At least this part is good too.

" Can... Can you tear them? I like seeing you do it with your bare hands... "

Morell's eyelid twitches, he seems to steam like a kettle on a stove. " 'Course sweetie. "

Somehow, you don't think it'll take too long before he's ramming into you over the nearest counter.

#Morell oc #Me whenever I write for Morell: Time to test the limits of my followers santiy.

[sapphire-weapon]

my first fictional crush was goku at age maybe 6.

the first fanfiction i ever wrote was FF7. the second one was DBZ. the third was a crossover between them both. i was like. 8 or 9.

in 5th grade, i got in trouble in school for passing handwritten DBZ fanfiction back and forth with the boy who sat front of me in class, and my mom refused to yell at me for it because she was glad that i was doing something creative.

DBZ was one of the things that my brother and i actually did together as kids. we were never close because he's 6 years older than me, but i have distinct memories of coming home from school and he'd be waiting with the next 3 or 4 DBZ episodes he'd downloaded from the internet, japanese fansubbed in english because the english dub hadn't released past the frieza saga yet. so i knew how the series went before any of my friends did. he would also go to chinatown in NYC and come home with bootleg fansubbed VHS tapes of DBZ movies. this was like circa 1999-2001. i still have them at my mom's house.

before i knew that cosplay was a thing that people actually did, i went as pan from DBGT for halloween when i was 12.

when i did find out what cosplay was, i was too afraid to do it properly, so when i went to my first convention at 17 with a boyfriend who did not want to go with me but i made him go anyway (it was AnimeNEXT 2007), i threw together a closet cosplay of a genderbent mirai trunks. and i actually found the fucking picture i took of it in the bathroom at my mom's house.

(that's the closest you're ever going to get to a proper face reveal btw lmao a 17 year old picture of me where you can see more of my tits than my face.)

i then went on to properly redo my pan cosplay, and i cosplayed chichi as well. took a picture at a con with a lil baby like 3 year old who was dressed up as goku. can't find it right now though.

in 2011, i went to anime boston with @feelboss and @theggning and drunkenly ran into sean schemmel (the english voice of goku) and somehow ended up on stage with him later that night, still wasted, at the hentai dubbing panel. faked an orgasm on stage for goku in front of about 200 people. my first fictional crush. probably the most iconic moment of my con-going days. i was 21.

the very first time i was able to use analysis of a character's arc to accurately predict their future portrayal in canon was mirai trunks. when his db super arc aired, i remember just being totally floored like, "i can't believe i actually called so much of this" -- especially considering the fact that DB never really had much of a reputation of being consistent.

i just have so many memories of staying up late with @godtier watching DB and shitposting and RPing bardock and raditz and trolling the fuck out of each other, and just

man DB was such a huge part of my life and just... felt like it was always there for me.

i don't normally mourn celebrity deaths, but i feel like i've spent the last 30 years of my life with akira toriyama. losing him hurts so much. it feels like the world has had a little bit of hope fade away from it. i have a headache from crying.

i know that i would always meme on you for forgetting your own characters, but... thank you, toriyama-san. for everything.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Diffrence

pairing(s): kaz brekker x sister!reader (nikolai lantsov x reader)

genre: fluff

warning(s): slight (major but breifly mentioned) spoiler of ck

Kaz Brekker didn’t have a heart. That was known to every person in Ketterdam but one. Y/N Brekker knew that her brother was still in him somewhere. She saw Retvield almost everyday in the little things he did for her. Whether it was walking her to her room everynight, or making sure she eats breakfast. She noticed all the ways he still took care of her which only made her tease him for constantly saying the barrel is the kind of place where it’s kill or be killed. She did agree with that, but it was funny to see the same man who can cut your tongue out, serve you tea with sugar. 

Other than the fact that they were siblings, they had drastically different personalities. But only one distinct moment from their pasts really set them apart. Y/N was never on the boat. She didn’t see all those dead bodies, or use her eldest brother’s body as a raft. She was to be left in the alleyway, and she watched as these strange men took her brothers and threw them onto the boat like they meant nothing. 

“Stop! No! You don’t understand!” Y/N chased after the older men as fast as her little legs could carry her. Her high pitched voice echoing through the streets as she yelled at them to give her brothers back. “You can’t do this!” But the men paid no mind to her and they kept moving to the docs with a barrel of bodies in front of them. Shivers ran down the little girl’s arms and legs as the cold breeze seeped through the thin cloth of her well-worn night gown. Her small feet ached and begged to stop running but she wouldn’t let them, not when her big brothers were being taken away. “Please! I need them! You can’t do this!” She didn’t quite understand what they were doing, but she knew that wherever they were taking Kaz and Jordie, she wouldn’t ever see them again. Her legs finally gave out from under her when they reached the docs and she watched in terror as they threw the only family she had left onto a large boat. A horrified scream ripped its way through her throat without her consent. And she didn’t stop screaming or crying. Nothing could have gotten her to stop as she watched the boat sail away.

That’s the difference between Kaz and Y/N. 

Once he got back to Ketterdam he searched frantically for his sister and finally found her curled up deep inside the same alleyway the three of them slept in. Her filthy, torn blanket wrapped around her tiny figure in a weak attempt to keep warm. Her hair in it’s usual braid. The sight broke the nine-year-old’s heart into a million peices, but also brought a sense of comfort. He still had family. He walked forward with caution as fear settled into his stomach. She looked too still. He knelt down next to her and saw the subtle rise and fall of her chest. He sighed in relief and sat down next to her with his back leaning against the wall. Finally able to catch some rest he fell asleep next to his little sister. 

~

Y/N sighed as she stretched her legs and rested her feet on the corner of Kaz’s desk. “Do you ever miss home?” Kaz looked up from the papers piling on his desk, “What do you mean?” She ran her hand through her hair, pulled it all to one side and started braiding it. “I mean do you ever miss ma and da? Jordie? Our farm? The animals? The fields? Any of it really.” He froze. Of course he missed it all sometimes, but he couldn’t afford to. “No. Not really-” Y/N groaned, “No no no, don’t start lying to me. Truth only, please.” 

He let out a sigh, trying to hide his chuckle. He stared at her in what she would call fondness. He can’t believe how much she’s grown from the little girl who would hide behind him and scream everytime a crow would land in front of them. “Yes I miss home. But we can’t dwell on it too much.” 

She smiled to herself, “I know.” 

~

“So you think we can actually pull this off?” Jesper’s voice held a tone of disbelief as he placed his hands on the table. Kaz only nodded his head and started rolling up the maps. “Okay… We’re gonna break into the Ice Court. No problem.” Y/N chuckled and brushed her hair back for the tenth time as the sea salt wind swept through her braid. “Yeah, no problem at all. Not like it’s the most secure building in the world.” Kaz shot her a sharp glare to which she just stuck her tongue out at him. Nina smirked and nudged the younger girl, “No sarcasm, lil Brekker.” 

Y/N placed a hand over her heart in mock offense, “Me? Sarcastic? Never!” She laughed and walked over to Kaz, quickly snatching his hat and placing it on her head. “Well, I’m exhausted so I’m gonna go to sleep. Good night.” She gave everyone an extravagant bow before she turned and hopped down the steps, walking down to the private room that was assigned to Kaz and herself.

Matthias looked at Kaz with his head slightly tilted, “So… You are related to… Her?” Kaz rolled his eyes, “Yes. She’s my sister.”

~

Y/N sat with her head between her knees rocking back and forth. You’d think she was being attacked, or she was sad… A sharp wail came from across the tomb and Y/N groaned before she muttered a few colorful words she picked up from Jesper. “Y/N stop acting like you’re dying.” Her head snapped up and met a pair of eyes identical to her own. “I. Am. Dying. Can’t you hear her? She sound’s like a dying cat!” Kaz winced as Alys continued her song. Matthias looked around at everyone, “Haven’t any of you been around a pregnant woman? She needs comfort.” He sighed, stood up and sat next to the expecting mother, telling her to lie down and rest her feet up. Y/N rolled her eyes as Kaz gave her a look. A look that told her to go help. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care and like this totally isn’t your fault?” 

~

“Can I take a moment to point out that, one-” Y/N stood up and fired at the people on the other side of the crates and barrels they were hiding behind. “I never signed up for this. Like-” She quickly ducked back down. “I literally didn’t have a choice.” She smirked when Kaz threw her an annoyed look. “And two-” She reached for her second gun, “I disagree with Jesper when he says I need anger management.” She reached up to fire blindly over the crates. “People just need to stop ticking me off.” Inej paused for a split second next to her, “You realize we could possibly die right now, right?” She shrugged, “I figured if I’ve lived this long, I’m probably invincible or something.”

~ 

Y/N walked through the door of Wylan and Jesper’s new mansion. She spun in a slow circle with wide eyes, trying to take everything in. She opened her mouth to ask a question but Jesper beat her to it, “No you can’t live with us. You’re staying at the Slat.” She stopped and glared at him, “I… Love you. You- you enormously stubborn pain in the neck.” He smirked, “I know you had other words to say and you held them back. I’m proud of you.” She rolled her eyes, “Oh, shut up.”

~

Y/N hung off the edge of the titanium beams being raised up to the flying ship. A terrified scream ripped through her throat before she could stop herself. She felt her braid fall loose, “No! My hair tie!” The annoying face with blonde hair knelt down, “Did you just scream for your hair tie? You’re literally hanging and you could die in a second.” Y/N shot the young king a glare, “Yes I just screamed for my hair tie. And I’m aware I’m hanging right now, but I’m pretty sure I’m invincible or something if I haven’t died yet.” 

She saw him roll his eyes, “Take me hand!” She struggled to keep her grip on the beam as it swayed in the wind. “No! Where’s my brother?!” 

“He’s on the other side! Look, I’m not asking you to marry me! I’m trying to save you!” Nikolai reached a bit farther for her hand. Y/N tried to pull herself high enough to reach his hand and finally grasped it tightly. “Okay, now pull me up!” He heaved her back up onto the beam and rolled his eyes as she rushed to her brother’s side. “Yeah, no problem. Just saved your life, that’s all. Not like you could’ve died or anything.” She rolled her eyes, “If you’re expecting a phrase of gratitude, you’re gonna be waiting for a long time, You're Highness.” 

~ (we’re gonna pretend that nikolai is around the same age as the crows. k? k. ALSO matthias isn’t dead)

“So you want to marry her?” Kaz leaned back against his desk as he observed the blond king’s appearance as if he’s never seen him before. Which isn’t true, because he’s been over a lot. “What makes you think you deserve her?” Nikolai looked at him, “I don’t deserve her, I know that. But I really love her, with my whole heart. And I respect her, and yourself enough to come and ask for your blessing.” Kaz bit back his smirk and diverted his eyes to one of his bookshelves. “Okay. You have my blessing.” 

“YES! HE SAID YES!”  Y/N’s voice was heard outside the office door and was followed by more murmuring voices and giggles. 

~

Y/N sat on the soft sofa Nikolai had in his office, with a book in her lap and her cup of tea on the side table. The only sounds heard was the scratching of Nikolai’s quill and the pages of her book being turned every few minutes. Y/N’s head turned towards the door when she heard the distant pounding of footsteps down the hallway. “Please don’t come here. Please don’t come here.” An amused chuckle was heard behind her when the door opened. “You’re highness.” Nikolai stood from his desk, “Yes?” “There are six people threatening the front guards, saying that if they don’t let them in they’ll kill all the gaurds and find a way in anyway.” Nikolai’s eyes widened as Y/N’s sparkled with amusement. A laugh fell from her lips, “That’d be my family.” 

She put her book down and rushed out the door, running down the halls, making her way to the main entrance. She held the front of her dress in her hands as she ran down the front steps. Six figures stood in front of four guards who tried to get them off palace grounds. “No!” The four guards froze in place at the sound of the queen’s voice. “They’re with me.” Once they step aside Y/N rushed to give Inej and Nina a hug, followed by Wylan, Jesper and Matthias. Kaz stood with his cane in front of him and watched his sister, all grown up and clothed in a nice dress with her hair pinned up at the back of her head instead of its usual braid. 

She stopped in front of him with her hands clasped together and smiled, “Kaz.” 

He smirked and nodded his head slightly, “Y/N.” 

~

“No you can’t play with knives.” 

“Muuuum! Please!” Y/N resisted the urge to roll her eyes, “Okay fine. But if you get hurt that’s not my fault.” Her son ran down the stairs in the Crow Club to practice with Inej. Kaz smirked and shook his head in amusement, “How did you even become a mother?” Y/N turned and smirked, “Well, you see… When two people love each other very very much-” “Okay. Yes. I know that.” She laughed at the disgusted look that painted his face. “But really… I have no idea. I’m still not ready to be a mother and I’ve been one for the last eight years.” 

The two siblings leaned on the railing, watching the commotion of their family downstairs. Y/N laughed as she saw Nikolai wince when his son’s blade missed him by mere inches. Kaz turned his head and smiled at his younger sister. “Do you ever miss home?” A flash of nostalgia crossed her face, “What do you mean?” He let out a raspy chuckle, “I mean do you ever miss ma and da? Jordie? Our farm? The animals? The fields? Any of it really.” 

Y/N looked back down to their family. Jesper and Wylan sitting next to Nikolai at the bar, laughing over some stories. Inej knelt behind the youngest boy in the family, helping hold the knife properly. Matthias and Nina sat at a nearby table, the latter laughing into her hand when the knife slipped from the youngest’s hand and embeded itself in the wooden table. 

She looked back to Kaz, “Sometimes… But I have home right here.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x sister!reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x y/n #six of crows #shadow and bone #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows imagines #shadow and bone imagines #ellora.writes

[oliverreedmasterass]

Synopsis: The members of Greta Van Fleet agree to do an interview with the Human Napkin himself, Nardwuar, and find themselves ridiculously unprepared for his interview style.

Words: 2k

Warnings: language, some sexual innuendos (kinda?), mentions of stalking, the void™️

Notes: Shoutout to @skywaydrifter for the amazing fic idea, and sending me down a wild Nardwuar binge-fest

----------------------------------------------

Nardwuar theme plays with the animated intro video. The shot opens to show NARDWUAR standing in front of an impressive display of vinyl records, next to JOSH KISZKA. 

NARDWUAR: How are you?

Nardwuar shoves his microphone into Josh’s face. Josh flinches back a bit, but then leans into the microphone.

JOSH: Absolutely groovy. 

NARDWUAR: Tell me who you are. 

JOSH: That’s a bit of a loaded question. I’m a dreamer, a mere mortal, a man with a dream…

NARDWUAR: Your name. 

JOSH: Oh. Josh Kiszka. Frontman for the group, Greta Van Fleet. 

Josh curtsies to the camera.

NARDWUAR: Welcome to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. And right off the bat, I have a gift for ya.   

JOSH puts a hand over his heart and looks at the camera in shock.

JOSH: Now I feel bad, I didn’t bring you anything. 

NARDWUAR (continued): I’ve got this 1966 album, All About Miriam. 

JOSH: (taking the album and cradling it in his arms) Oh my goodness.

NARDWUAR: I heard that you’re a fan. 

JOSH: Miriam Makeba? Oh yeah, she’s one of my favorites. My parents had a few of her albums that they would play all the time when I was younger. She’s got such a rich voice, I can only dream of sounding like that. 

NARDWUAR: But you do have a pretty distinct voice that I’m sure a lot of people are jealous of. How did you find that sound? 

JOSH: I started screaming and then I guess I kind of found my way, eventually. (chuckles) No, but actually, my vocal coach, Ron, I call him “The Master” because he genuinely saved my vocal cords. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him. 

NARDWUAR: How do you do it? Is it special vocal warmups? Some kind of mystery technique? 

JOSH: Well, you see, if I told you, I’d have to kill you. 

NARDWUAR: I’ve got another gift for you here, Josh. 

JOSH: Oh god, now I feel super bad. 

NARDWUAR: Costumes are a big part of your stage presence. Here, I’ve got a piece that might look familiar to you. 

Nardwuar holds out Josh’s infamous golden pants, and Josh reluctantly takes them.

JOSH: Oh boy, I forgot how shiny and see through these were. 

NARDWUAR: You wore these in the sweltering sun on the iHeart Radio festival stage in Las Vegas, Nevada on Saturday, September 22, 2018, didn’t you? 

JOSH: I’m not sure if these are the exact pair…

NARDWUAR: They are. 

JOSH: Huh? Did you dig them out of the dumpster or something? 

NARDWUAR: Now, Josh, can you tell me about Sean Reyes?

Josh looks at Nardwuar with intense skepticism.

JAKE: (offscreen) What the fuck? 

JOSH: Now how do you know about Sean Reyes? 

NARDWUAR: It’s Josh Kiszka trivia!

Josh squints at Nardwuar, uncertain.

JOSH: Sean Reyes was my third grade teacher. 

NARDWUAR: And he was the one who encouraged you to write poetry, right? 

JOSH: Yes…..

NARDWUAR: Like haikus? 

JOSH: Mr. Reyes would play a lot of folk stuff for us, like John Denver, Joni Mitchell, all the classics, and he could tell I really dug it. He pulled me aside after class, showed me some of his favorite lyrics, and explained how it was a form of poetry. I took that to heart and spent a lot of time outside of class writing poems after that.

NARDWUAR: Were they any good? 

JOSH: Well, some lines ended up in our songs, so you tell me. 

NARDWUAR: Well, I heard your twin brother behind the camera just now. Let’s bring him out here. Come here, Jake! 

JAKE joins Josh’s side in front of the camera, looking nervous. He’s wringing his hands, avoiding eye contact with Nardwuar.

NARDWUAR: Hello, Jake. 

JAKE: (short) Hi. 

NARDWUAR: I have a gift for you. 

JAKE: Uh, okay. 

NARDWUAR: It’s a poster from H.O.R.D.E. Festival at Deer Creek Music Center in Noblesville, Indiana featuring big names like Blues Traveler, The Black Crowes, and Taj Mahal from 1995. Something important happened at this festival, right? 

Jake pales.

JAKE: Uh. Uh. 

Josh is staring pretty hard at Nardwuar.

JAKE: (to Josh) There’s no way he knows about that. How could he know about that? 

Nardwuar sneaks the microphone closer into Jake’s mouth. 

NARDWUAR: Well? 

JAKE: Okay, uh, they might kill me for admitting this on camera, but my parents are pretty sure that’s where Josh and I were conceived. 

NARDWUAR: Do you like Taj Mahal? 

Jake struggles to rebound from that 180. 

JAKE: Um (beat) yeah. I’d list him as a big influence. 

NARDWUAR: And another gift for Jake Kiszka! 

JAKE: (whispering to Josh) This guy freaks me out. 

NARDWUAR: Here you go! 

Nardwuar tosses Jake a ziploc bag containing something brown. Jake’s reflexes get the better of him and he grabs the bag out of the air, and then blankly studies what’s in his hands. 

JAKE: What the actual fuck. 

NARDWUAR: Tell me what you’re holding there! 

JAKE: Hair. It’s my hair. 

JOSH: What??

JAKE: I’m not even joking. This is what they chopped off, like, last year before our second leg of the Dreams in Gold Tour. 

JOSH: (growing defensive of his brother) Where did you get that from?

NARDWUAR: What was the reason for the big chop? 

JAKE: I could have sworn my hairdresser said she was going to donate that. 

NARDWUAR: Oh, she did. 

JAKE: I’m sorry, what? 

SAM bounds into the scene in front of the camera, looking energetic. 

SAM: This is fun! Do me now! 

NARDWUAR: Sam Kiszka! Alright, Jake. Thanks and doot doola doot doo…

JAKE: Huh? 

NARDWUAR: (finishing for Jake) Doo doo! (turns to Sam) I have a question for you. 

Sam is hopping from foot to foot and clapping his hands with glee while Jake confusedly wanders off camera.

SAM: Fire away! 

NARDWUAR: Your aunt works at State Farm in Chicago. 

DANNY: (offscreen) That’s not a question. 

JOSH: How could you possibly know that? 

NARDWUAR: Have you ever had to file a claim with her? 

SAM: Well, actually one time…

JOSH: Ssh! Don’t tell him anything. 

NARDWUAR: (entirely unbothered) I have a gift you might like, Sam! 

SAM: Oh my god! You guys aren’t gonna believe this. It’s my birth certificate! 

JOSH: What kind of interviewer are you?? 

NARDWUAR: I’m just a fan, guys, just a fan. I love your music! 

Sam’s phone rings. 

SAM: Whoops, sorry. I know this is unprofessional but, one sec. I gotta take this. 

Instead of going off camera to answer the phone in private like a normal person, Sam answers the phone and puts it on speaker. 

SAM (continued): Y’ello? 

KAREN: (obviously shaken) Sam? 

SAM: Hey Mom, what’s up? 

KAREN: Are you boys alright? 

Josh grabs the phone from Sam. 

JOSH: Mom? What’s going on? 

KAREN: Someone broke into our house while your dad and I were on our trip. We’re worried it might have been a stalker since they took a lot of your possessions and some important documents. 

JOSH: Oh my god, are you okay? 

KAREN: Fine, just a bit shaken up. But, I’m so sorry, they stole Sammy’s birth certificate. 

Sam calls into the phone over Josh’s shoulder.

SAM: Don’t worry about it, Mom! I just got it gifted back to me! 

Josh hands Sam his phone and rushes away. 

JOSH: (screaming offscreen) RICHARD! WE NEED BACKUP!

KAREN: I’m gonna have to call my sister to file a claim. They broke a crazy amount of our windows. Like, way more than they needed to. What a headache.

DANNY: (to Nardwuar) You have a lot of explaining to do. 

NARDWUAR: I’ve got a gift for you, Daniel! 

Nardwuar pulls out a pack of old Beatles cards. 

DANNY: I don’t want it. 

NARDWUAR: It’s a pack of 1964 Beatles collector’s cards, in mint condition! 

DANNY: Wait, I do want it. 

Danny takes the cards from Nardwuar and looks at them with delight. 

NARDWUAR: You’re a big fan of the Beatles, right? 

DANNY: Oh yeah, I always have been.

JAKE: You’re not seriously continuing this interview. 

DANNY: (while opening and flipping through the pack of cards) I mean, this is a pretty cool gift. 

JAKE: (evidently at his wit’s end) This guy 100% broke into my family’s house, and he for sure did the same to your parents. 

NARDWUAR: Would you say there was a specific Beatles album that most inspired you? 

DANNY: Definitely Rubber Soul. I loved hearing them try folk. 

Jake throws up his hands in exasperation. 

DANNY: Norwegian Wood genuinely changed my life. 

NARDWUAR: In what way? 

JAKE: Nope, we’re not doing this anymore. 

Jake thrusts his finger up into Nardwuar’s face. 

JAKE (continued): What else did you take from us, you son of a bitch? 

NARDWUAR: Does it count as “taking” if I give it back to you? 

JAKE: Yes! 

NARDWUAR: I’d beg to differ. 

DANNY: (looking through his cards) Woah! I’ve never seen this photo of Ringo Starr before! 

Josh comes rushing back to the scene with their bodyguard and pal, RICHARD. 

RICHARD: (scanning around on full alert) Where is he? 

JOSH: (shrill, pointing at Nardwuar) There! 

Nardwuar simply grins at Richard. 

NARDWUAR: Can you tell me about Grubbyknot? 

Richard is obviously thrown off, and he lets down his guard. 

RICHARD: Huh? Grubbyknot? That was my metal band in high school. But we only played like two shows. One was in my parent’s garage. 

JOSH: Don’t let him get into your head, Richard! You’re our big guns, we can’t lose you! 

SAM: Do you have another gift for me, Nardwuar? 

Nardwuar stares at Sam, entirely expressionless. 

NARDWUAR: No, I don’t. Doot doola doot doo…

SAM: Doo-doo? 

Upon Sam’s words, he vanishes into thin air. Jake is so terrified, he falls to the ground and cowers on the floor. 

JAKE: Jesus Christ! 

NARDWUAR: I usually like to speak with only 1-2 people at a time on camera. It’s getting a little bit too crowded for me right now. 

Nardwuar looks at Danny, whose attention is finally away from his cards, and is gawking at the empty space where Sam was just standing. 

NARDWUAR: (continued, making eye contact with Danny) Doot doola doot doo…

Danny stares back at Nardwuar in horror, his mouth sealed shut. Nardwuar sings the little tune again, holding his microphone up to Danny to finish it. 

JAKE: (cutting in) Doo doo! (beat) Fuck! 

Jake disappears. 

JOSH: (explaining to Richard and Danny) He has this condition where he can’t handle hearing an unfinished tune. Poor guy has a curse.

NARDWUAR: Just one more to go. 

Nardwuar focuses his attention back to Danny. 

DANNY: Where did you send them? 

NARDWUAR: To another place. 

DANNY: Super helpful, thanks. 

NARDWUAR: Don’t mention it. 

DANNY: Are they still alive? 

NARDWUAR: I can’t see why not. I’m a fan! I wouldn’t hurt you guys. 

Danny sighs. 

DANNY: Okay. Send me away so I can do some damage control. 

RICHARD: No! 

NARDWUAR: Doot doola doot doo…

DANNY: (unenthused, clapping his hands on the beat) Doo doo.

Danny is gone. 

RICHARD: My boss is gonna kill me. 

JOSH: I’m pretty sure I’m your boss. 

Richard widens his eyes and holds his hands up in a defensive position, backing slowly away from Josh. 

JOSH (continued): Oh, come on. I’m not gonna hurt you, Richard. 

RICHARD: You did dump an entire bag of flour over my head that one time. And kicked that giant chocolate bar in my hands. And swung a folding chair at me backstage. 

JOSH: All tiny, insignificant hiccups.

NARDWUAR: Josh, you’re gonna love this next thing that I’ve got for you. 

JOSH: Please, no. 

Nardwuar hands Josh a Scooby Doo plushie. 

NARDWUAR: Tell me what that is. 

Josh studies the stuffed animal, trying to discern how it has any relevance to him. 

JOSH: Scooby Doo? 

NARDUWAR: What was that second word?

JOSH: Doo?

NARDWUAR: Wait. Say it again? (under his breath) Doot doola doot doo…

JOSH: Doo? 

Nardwuar taps on his ear, signaling that he didn’t hear Josh. Josh huffs and rolls his eyes. 

JOSH (continued, enunciating maybe a little bit too much): Doo! 

Josh disappears. 

NARDWUAR: Well, this has been fun. Keep on rockin’ in the free world and doot doola doot doo…

It’s silent around him since there’s no one there to finish his jingle. Nardwuar continues to grin wider and wider until he’s nearing uncomfortably close to uncanny valley. 

The scene shifts to a confusing plane seemingly everywhere and nowhere at once. A pattern reminiscent of Nardwuar’s red and green plaid Tammy cap stretches from the floor to the sky. Josh and Richard appear in the mysterious space, Josh screaming with terror. 

JAKE: Hey. 

DANNY: Nice of you to join us. 

It takes a while for Josh to collect himself but, when he does, he notices Jake and Danny standing in front of him. 

JOSH: Where’s Sammy? 

DANNY: He went to take a piss. 

RICHARD: Hey, wait, I didn’t say the doo doo thing. Why am I here? 

Josh shrugs. 

JOSH: We must be a package deal or something. 

RICHARD: That’s wildly unfair. 

SAM: (off in the distance) Woah, I had a lot more in my bladder than I thought. I wouldn’t come over here if I were you, guys. I can cross “building a manmade lake” off my bucket list.

JAKE: God, I need to get out of here. 

DANNY: And how are we gonna do that, Jake? 

Jake has no clue. He’s frankly dumbfounded. 

The scene jumps back to Nardwuar, still in front of the records. He seems unaware that the camera is still rolling. 

NARDWUAR: (to someone offscreen) Yeah, yeah. They should be gone for good. Yup. The plaid void, where I sent Dave Rowntree. We should be good to steal their identities now. God knows we’ve done enough research. 

Back in the plaid void. 

DANNY: Holy shit, is that Dave Rowntree?

RICHARD: The guy from Blur? 

DAVE ROWNTREE: CURSE YE FOUL BEAST, NARDWUAR! 

Fin.  

Note: The names/facts listed in the interview within this fic are all entirely fictitious. I'm not about to start leaking private and personal information about the guys.

#greta van fleet #gvf #gvf fic #gvf fanfic #gvf fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #danny wagner #sam kiszka #richard #nardwuar #the human serviette

[quitealotofsodapop]

In the Wukongverse what is Wukong's and Macaque's singing voice like?

Oh I do Love me some singing hcs. Took me a while cus I bad at actually remembering singers. I'm just trying to add as many song links as possible.

LMK: These two's english VAs (Sean Schemmel & Alejandro Saab) have sung before, and I will repeat my thoughts. Whilst Macaque is the more "stage friendly" of the two and can interact with an audience and put on a show, Wukong is stupidly good at singing. Like, LMK!Mac is dumbfounded how good his Wukong is. Wukong's stage fright gets to him tho, so his voice cracks the second he detects anyone listening to him - only Mac, the kids, and baby monkeys know his true voice. He destroys everyone at drunk karaoke tho.

HeroIsBack: SWK's singing voice is initally very harsh (not use much in 500 years) but grows softer/more confident as he sings. I can almost hear it as being like the song in the film itself "The Feeling of Flying", just full of joy. Also dubbing bonus; Jackie Chan singing the Cantonese version of "I'll Make A Man Out of You" from Mulan (1998). HeroIsBack!LEM's voice is similarly underused but a hidden gem. Mostly reserved for lulling infant monkeys to sleep. A tenor like Thomas Sanders. Gets embarassed quickly because his singing voice "doesn't match his face" (Dasheng disagrees).

Reborn: You could say his warped view of his own demonic identiy hasn't exactly left Reborn!SWK a positive idea of his singing ability. His actual singing voice is surprisingly deep with a lot of octave range; example Jonathan Young. 100% would jam with anime opening songs. Secretly gets really excited when he duets. Reborn!LEM is much less confident in their performing ability than the other LEMs, his voice is much softer, quieter, and soprano-pitch. Ethereal almost; like Ben Whishaw in The Tempest. And this LEM might just sing "Ariel's Song/Full Fathom Five" too - since his six ears often "hear "pick up" songs of the future. May use his voice to guide the lost souls he chariots.

Netflix: This SWK do be singing, and he penned his own theme song! Hidden talent at composing? I hc that he's singing voice is the metal version of his theme as done by Voodoo Kung Fu & Ian Honeyman. Probably scares the other monkeys (sans Reborn!SWK who starts rocking) the first time they let him take the mic and he goes full heavy metal on them. Has a hidden softer tune only his pilgrims + LEM know about. Netflix!LEM would say that they'd rather eat glass than sing in public, but like their main inspo (Aubrey Plaza - "Get Happy") they are ridiculously good at swing/jazz style music where the singer interacts with/insults their audience. A good example of them singing (whether for a con/trick) would be Amber Gray in Hadestown.

NewGods: This SWK sounds like a smooth cruise /lounge singer. This man can bust out a Sinatra that'll make the room shake. He however can get really emotionally into the music and end up crying at the oddest songs. Good reference would be Richard Cheese. NewGods!LEM gots broadway vocals like Josh Groban, and will completely shred you with his Phantom of the Opera performance. Unless he decides to use his voice for mischief and starts singing filthy blues songs with his SWK.

2000sCartoon: I bet these two dont really flex their singing muscles much so they dont sound "good", but SWK loves him some travelling songs and shanties, and his LEM provides good backing. SWK has a crackly, higher pitched singing voice like George Salazar (Be More Chill + Percy Jackson Musical). 2000sCartoon!LEM's voice I can see being smoother like Ashe (of "to ashes" on youtube), and once he becomes more confident in himself; its one of the first clear distinctions the two monkeys can make between one another.

Meihouwang: I could see Shihou & Mihou having "younger-sounding" singing voices similar to Zach Callison (of Steven Universe fame), and Jeremy Jordan (Tangled Series + Death Note Musical) respectively. Absurdly good for monkeys with no formal musical training.

Smash Legends: This Wukong has a pretty good singing voice but he uses it for goofy "meme" songs (ex Loney Island) since he's actually a little mic shy. Has potiential for greatness. "Serious" singing voice is similar to Sam Tsui. Smash!LEM aka SixEars is a legit indie music star along the lines of a "faceless" nearly-online-exclusive artist - best comparasion I can give for his "typical" vocal ranges (remember perfect mimicry/pitch) is between Aly & AJ to Taron Egerton. Will leave the other monkeys in the dust in a competition.

No matter who's the "better" singer of all of them one thing is for certain; you turn on that karaoke machine around the SWKs and LEMs, and there's about to be a whole lot of monkey business.

#wukongverse #jttw character hcs #lmk character hcs #music #sun wukong #liu er mihou #six eared macaque #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkey king hero is back #monkey king reborn #the monkey king netflix #new gods nezha reborn #meihouwang #journey to the west: legends of the monkey king #smash legends

[prestonmonterey]

camp here and there thoughts

considered spamming my friend, but instead ill put stuff here.

this is all my thoughts from as im listening to it, btw

sydney and jedidiah are quincent confirmed?!! (not clickbait)

i will literally eat up any character named rowan no questions asked

the first bit with the penguins reminds me of burrows end

one of my favorite silly weird things is time going past the numbers it should (reminds me of everything is fine. i think it was like, the first episode? digital clock goes from 2:59 to 2:60? super cool, love it)

"let us live to die another day" (will you live to see tomorrow or die another dayyy// once a spy always a spy.... sorry, sorry)

i love that theres emojis in the transscripts

i feel so bad for the vegans at camp

mentions of apocalypse? a character called rowan? (you know what time it is folks: obscure lyric references!!!! (my beautiful apocolypse, if i asked you to be mine, would our purposes align?) again, sorry. ill stop. no i wont.)

woo! sydney feelings hour!

i love syndey telling his tape recorder not to tell anyone about his hallucinations

ok random thing i just noticed the titles have like part of the one before them and part of the one after and thats just pretty cool

why is the sky always bad

sydney being very normal about death and jedidiah bein like 'no' is also very quincent

interesting the 'when you die you will rot' is a recurring thing

sydeys laugh is so cute i love himmm

ok so theres like a spider cabin, moth cabin, ladybug cabin and BATTLE CABIN?

children being bribed by sugar is one of the most realistic parts of this

ok but the distinction between reanimation and true necromancy is actually really cool

sydney as much as i love you why the heck did you say thick like that

(when youre a ghost recorder, no one knows your name, but they wont try to stop you if you arent playing the game)

'our bedroom' actually screaming

the voice acting is such yum

again, sydneys noncholance about death related things

omg gay?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor jedidiah is so pathetic and bbg

for the record i hate oposite day too

gasp: a navarro (makes sense shes a tyrant) (im refrencing gentlemens guide to love and murder? i think? i dont even know at this point)

i love that all of ep 5 is sydney being too extra and jedidiah being the most exasperated

ok so maybe the implication is that matthew isnt human, but also ppl can have extra color cones, but only afab ppl bc color cones are in the x chromosome (thats also why men are more likely to be color blind) so trans matthew hc now

sydney are your eyes ok??

justice for sydneys fancy soap

if someone does magic and hurts sydney i will cry

ok so now with confirmation that they use analog clocks i really wana know what they look like

also i was thinking about why the music from last ep reminded me of something v specific and i think its yokai watch?

"babe" ok theyve got to be gay right???

sydneys allergic to seeing goo? interesting

father time? a bastard? omg you know what time it is (hehehe time bastard)

sydney and jedidiah are so cute im actually going to die

aww i want lava cake w real lava :( (fun fact by strange definition water is technicaly a form of lava)

ok so the amount of wholesomeness makes me think something bad is going to happen

"theyre penny loafers :("

rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan!!!

the audio design is so yummy idk if i said that already

(uhh i accidentaly skipped most of ep six so back to that)

(the elephant man is just dead ambrose and sydney is vincent if they werre better at communicating)

"worms arent people" uh, YES THEY ARE, rude.

jedidiah whatever your project is it cant be so important that you havent played chess with your bf in A COUPLE OF YEARS wtf

(ok now to regularly scheduled friendship goo)

sydney calling the camper different animals is one of my favorite things

why is the sky always fucked up

"scary things like...men" sir you are men (but also same i am so scared of men and also are men)

jeDIDiah lmao

"your husband" and sydney just goes with it

ok but why is sydney slowly giving more and more louis taopp vibes (plz dont be like him)

i love casual loredrops about chocolate shortages

"friends" sure.. sure.

ok... so sydney did know that jedidiah had pics of him in his office? bc they used to be on the corkboard/?????

poor bb sydney is sad that his husband isnt telling him things

"[Scoffs] Friend. As if we’re not… we’re not… [Sighs] we’re not." noo im gonna actually cry (i am- i was... i'm supposed to be the best/ref)

i wanna see sydneys haunted house and skeleton cat drawings :(

"Put the Silly Putty back. You don’t need more Silly Putty." (my friends @ me when i watch another musical) (myself @ me when i eat another one of rowans fandoms >:3)

"co-nurse" idk if hes actually the assistant or not but i think sydney calls him that bc control? bc he wants power

also jedidiah uses am and pm which is interesting bc i dont think sydney does

ok now i get why sydney doesnt like joshua

the trivia sections of fan wikis are my favorite thing on this planet. "it is unknown whether or not the color green exists"

btw they actually mention green eggs and ham in ep 1 so i think its at least a concept

i still hc trans matthew. no fan wiki can take that away from me >:(

juniper daddy issues confirmed??

"Well, we can — petition her!" (i will try to petition my father/ref sorry sorry sorry)

Wait, one more: Cunt.  (uuh, fucker /ref. will anyone even get that one? its filled my brain. i dont remember any quotes before or after... it's taopp. uh, the scene with louis and jason in the hallway or something)

we love sydney trauma dumping 2 mins into an ep

i wonder if he sometimes forgets hes broadcasting to a bunch of middle schoolers

i wonder if joshua knows that middle schoolers arent usually 14

i love that sydney doesnt know what oatmeal is

sydney: if only my husband would play 20 dimensional chess w me :(

"Lucille has a flamethrower. You have to listen to what she says." the only lesson ever

natsume def has parent issues

just remembered that the trees produce defensive slick

i want teethh flowers :(

"and I fear that the end is near." (the end is coming, the end is coming! /ref)

"as sweet, and patient, and motherly, and forgiving as she is" so... not at all?

i love the silly old timey music omg its so fun

gasp cannon date. thats crazy. someone better have a timeline theory bout this.

aww no teeth flowers? :(

im concerned about sorens stones

is the ticking clock new? it feels new

oh huneee :(

just remembered the notes in the description. thats lore, right? prolly im too lazy to check.

Word to the wise: you ever come across that statue, do not look her in the eyes. (the fact that it rhymes too) (someone should make a cover of a word to the wise but with this line) (please?)

matthew appreciation time

sydney mommy issues?

jesus heck how many cabins are there?

is that what the pebbles were for???? im still scared.

sydney's silly drum roll gives me life

im actually so in love with matthew

sacrificial rituals, yay!

D: can they just be gay and happy? please?

they better get happy >:(

the spooky is rly goodd tho

mommy issues: the episode?

again, we love sydney trauma time before minute 3 of the episode

mila is a theater kid confirmed?!

sydney it seems like theres alot to unpack about your mom...

i dont think i want to know what horn sap is

"It’s all very delightful, b-but quite strange" idk the way he says that line is so vincentcore

im v worried for marie ann

"Don’t worry — they aren’t real ants. But it is a real log! " honestly id rather eat ants than a whole tree

"bending over to whisper in my ear." sydney is a short king <3

ohh the centipedes

i love the contrast of ideas its super spooky.

 “I’ve just got to do better,”  (never let yourself rest, they can try to despise you, but not your success) (also ambrose vibes. idk, but like maybe jedidiah has a similar 'if im perfect then people will finally love me' thing goin on?)

 “Give me a hard time, okay? We both deserve that.” (more ambrose vibes)

i think hes looking for validation from lucille?

i like that the va's voice patterns makes it clear when hes talking quietly even though the audios still at the same volume

"I know I’ve constructed a few effigies in my time. " (effigies of the god appolo, dickweed /ref)

"There is a clear block of resin on my desk with a centipede inside. He wants to swap places with me. Lately, I am tempted to let him." spooky

(last couple eps had, like, news broadcasts at the beginning? idk if its been like that the whole time, but probably lore stuff.)

o no is it rock time? (also soren sounds like such a cartoon character i cannot get over it)

is mother of stones the reanimation lady from the death fields or whatever?

i love that the only actually vegan thing given to the vegans so far is assorted leaves

i have a feeling that normal day might not be normal...

idk why would worshiping a statue of stones to be reborn into a second life in the middle of the forest be illegal?

ohh its bc normal day i already forgot/

" Un-resurrect? Un… resurrect… Were we going to “surrect” the rabbit?" (i prefer 'mercy killing' /ref)

i want juniper and joshua rivals to lovers/rivals to friends content. just putting that out there.

sydney just kill the rabbit

ok the fact that sydney is worried about this death-related thing is really unsettling

aoisfeorgijefmoigjt4ri4tgoirjjitog this is so spooky i love it so much

sydney needs proper therapy

"I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the guy wants something from me, and he does something to me, and I don’t like that he just gets to be around no matter how much I protest!" (grace when max)

and it all comes back to control

poor baby boy

:(((((((((((((((((((((((

(poor boy, tormented /ref)

why he bri'ish

nevermind i dont want juniper content anymore

"jeddie, m'boy"

why does anyone like him

yes, yes rowan is handsome

himbo juniper, but i still hate him

"it’ll steal all your nutrients until you wither and die!" (its infectious, its deadly, its one to be feared /ref)

"I’ve always wanted to be killed by something that loved me." dont. dont say that sydney.

soren is the dark magic sugar daddy of camp. prove me wrong.

"Would a child really do that? Just come to Summer Camp and tell lies?" yes. they would.

song? song!!!!

if this isnt on the soundtrack imma be pissed

idk how to explain this, but salems voice is really sharp

i certainly dont want to know what ostrich cream is...

if this makes sydney bottle up his feeling and muck up his relationship with jedidiah more im not gonna be happy

(ok so i was just informed that its going to get worse and,, i dont know how to emotionally prepare myself.) (also its past 10:30 pm so bear with me if my thoughts get a lil incoherent. as if they ever were coherent)

cant remember if this happens with sydney too but theres static when jedidiah says the time. interesting

so sydneys smoke thing is unique to him??

we do love occupying characters with a physical task during conversations

ig marisol prioritizes efficiency and salem prioritizes the wellbeing of the kids

also salem dont badmouth sydnel like that

gay??

more confirmation that sydney needs therapy

im v glad marisols on sydneys side

jedidiah is bein kinda silly, marisols like 'he makes me uncomfy' and hes like 'just dont feel uncomfy'

if only sydney and jedidiah were as good at communication as the sapphics

love that sydney is like 'dont swear!!!!' but dumps all of his trauma on the kids

noo im sad :(

"It’s a laaaaaazy day today." <<<(me tomorrow after not sleeping all night)

nothing bad better happen on the speepy day >:(

"Men. Men sure are mysterious." mood

"I can’t describe how it feels to see a blue sky… almost… apocalyptic. " i love subverting expectations and turning something ordinary into something completely paranormal.

also vambrose moment (the apple)

o great thats where the canibalism comes in

eugh

i do not want

(and this is why salem is worried about you buddy. dont share stuff like that with kids.)

on the other hand kids arent, like innocent to this type of thing, really. i used to babysit my friends lil sister ( i think she was in 2nd or 3rd grade?) shed make lego skits about people murdering eachother, with like, a lot of detail too. and i dont think she was raised on particularly violent media. she played pokemon go on her parents phone or doodles in kids drawing apps. i think kids just kinda gravitate towards these kinds of things, especially if theyre told theyre not supposed to.

o no sydney being normal about the elephant man is not good

"You get hungry." hungy theme within his dreams?

"I like animals because they never forget to be scared: of starving, of getting eaten, of getting hurt or sick." also reaccuring thing from the bunny

and centipede thing. and ants. (im guessing bc its a dream it s lots of things relating to his current situation, especially thematically) (also i believe ants were brought up at some point when he said something along the lines of 'it felt like ants were eating my stomach lining'

the writing is so good its unfair

"I should never have forgotten to be scared." this is really interesting bc so far hes only been really scared by the elephant man.

"and none of the birds could speak English." ok i think its extremely disturbing to consider the fact that 'its a uniquely human thing to surpress pain' so the birds CAN talk but theyre still animals. they never forget to be scared and they never think to hide their discomfort.

also geez this episode is so dark compared to the others. it makes sense in universe, bc most of this is going on in sydneys head.

noo matthew was affected he better be ok after >:(

also appreciation for the slowing music, i didnt really register at first but thats definitely bc of the weird time happenings. and then the crank and it speeds up? super cool!

this series is so fun!!!

im a bit worried that jedidiahs 'extra special clock' may have something to do with his project? especially considering he has a lot of clocks around his office

more hungy, i think that bc he was hungy but didnt really realize it bc time weirdness, it seeped into his dreams somehow?

appreciation for sydney being able to eat garlic bread

also interesting thing, idk if its relevant in universe or just a writing thing, but no matter what happens with time it seems to always be resolved for sydney to know when 25:25 is.

oh fuck the canibalism is back

icky

i do not want

nope nope nope its getting worse

sorry im blood squeemish

more elephant man lore

kinda spooky. maybe his powers rely on electricity? or theres some greater creature hes afraid of that haas that effect

appreciation for the ending music of ep 16, and also just all the music in that ep.

hive? (the apothiosis is upon us?)

also really different music for the intro. idk if its like a genre or something related to hives, but its style really reminded me of queen b from nightmare time.

i want a waterslide to nowhere

i dont want a bri'ish man talkin bout 'beans on the cob' to be responsible for my safety, like, ever.

more sydney lore! poor bb sounds like he needs a hug. particularly from one Jedidiah A.A. Martin

i love the corporate bg music during harmlessmart its such a nice touch.

matthew matthew matthew matthew

fresh honeycomb sky.. hive theming?

this is exactly the shenanigans that middles schoolers get upto when theyre realeased into the woods

" So it has been, and so it will be; eternal in all directions in time." idk i just like this quote,

more ants

sports crystals = pokey?

bee tsunami

so he is co-nurse... when does jedidiah ever do his job? where is he?

noo sydney not the corner bread

comunicate!!! please!!!

"but he must love me, right?" :(((((((((((((((((

" — my journals." of course jedidiah only cares when it relates to his project. so quincycore, but if quincy didnt care about his bf.

D:

idk if i should keep watching this tonight. on one hand, if i keep watching i might cry bc sad, but if i stop i will definitely cry.

"He would always be the father, and I would always be the mother" (blitzstonecore)

"How he could love something so much… and forget to feed it." (he loves sydney, he just forgets to take care of him. in the way sydney needs, instead of the way jedidiah thinks he needs.)

a grey sky

reading wikis again, and the warriors thing is just such a mood, and idk if the creators understand dnd stats properly, or if he jus sucks that much at living, but negative stats are not possible. like players usually cant get below a 3. and -4 means he has like -7 con, so he has 1 hit points at first level, which is really pathetic. yes im going to nerd about this. (i think its super funny bc, like sure w a 19 for wisdom he probably wouldnt fail wis saves, but on the off chance that he did, viscious mockery, a bard cantrip, will knock him out no matter what, and if it rolls i think a 3 or 4 it completely kills him. he could be killed by a single insult.)

(ive been informed that this will make more sense once i finish it, and now im v scared)

(also prolly shouldnt be reading the wiki rn bc spoilers, but im doin it anyway.)

again, the stats are SO EXTREME. not as bad as sydney. he could feasibly weild a weapon (strenghth or dex if finesse i think) he has reasonable con which is good bc wizards have absolutely no health. idk whats up with his wisdom (ive heard it described as 'street smarts' and int as 'book smarts' but i think it kinda goes hand in hand with rizz for interactions, bc its used for like insight, which is kinda important to talk to people.) (thats actually something id say maybe doesnt work well with sydneys high wis. so far it seems like, while he is quite observant, hes not always super great at reading the room, or at least thats what ive gathered)

also idk about the charisma bc so far jedidiah seems a bit more put together in the persuasion/deception/intimidation area of things.

might eep now. that means its a great time for you to drink some water.

do it. stay hydrated. it mustve taken a ton of mental energy to get through this post, so you should take a break. get a glass of water, get a snack, take care of yourself. (sleep if its past midnight or if your name is rowan) then you can come back and finish reading this shitshow :]

ok its morning time to finish this (maybe)

restarted ep 16 bc i forgor

omg wait sydneys usin am and theres static

i love that theres a credit card stealing fish.

no sydney youre doing it again what did salem say

relation to sydneys worms?

"If he didn’t value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths?" STOP NO IM ALREADY SAD I GET IT

and thats why sydney wont kill the centipede?

w h a t

spooky music

is the hive conected to the elephant man?

excuse me did he just call worms many legged creatures (ig like worms as in maggots and caterpillars and silkworms, not earthworms)

i love that theres always some counselors that dont get to participate in the camp meetings

sydneys impression of jedidiahs voice is so silly

"But I like endings; I like closure. That was the point of this whole exercise." more with sydney being more ok with death perhaps?

“Ha. Abandoning your child in a lake . . . . so that’s what motherhood means for you?” NO NO NO NO NO :(((

"But I am not my mother." so this is why hes so protective of the kids?

rowan hero?

this feels less like a hive and more like an egg

rowan hero!

bad smoke, different smoke?

hive queen

ye i was right, it egg

so they WERE gay at some point???

interesting that jedidiah doesnt mention the elephant man breaking into his office

he frames it as 'im worried about sydney' even though hes been ignoring sydneys concern until it affected himself

ye ye lucille gets it he only cares about himself and his project

hes emotionally attatched to sydney, but he doesnt take care of him, because he doesnt understand what it means to not be taken care of

sydney taught himself how to love, and he makes a conscious effort to try his best, but he prioritizes the kids because he doesnt want to be like his mom

ye ye lucille call out the lil guy

lucille has the same thoughts about the elephant man as jedidiah did before he tried to take the journals

noticed the clock ticking

ohh so spooky bad stuff in the journals?

jedidiahs trying to keep sydney safe, reminds me of the "it was cozy and safe, like a prison" thing

also lucille bein his mom explains why sydney and jedidiah are close?

jedidiah doesnt like death, maybe hes afraid of it. because its closure, like sydney said. bc he doesnt know how to care about something while its alive, so he settles for greiving when its gone.

also the ending 'do not anger it" is a repeat i think?

o no more tree stuff?

am again and static

at least today the vegans get somethig they can maybe eat?

so he is the assisstant nurse? confusion

buddy are you sure thats not a corpse

assuming the things jedidiahs getting shipped in are related to his project, hes making progress?

again with him prioritizes his project above sydney

also minor thing about the lunch b i feel like hes kinda underestimating sydneys intelligence (of course judging by the dnd stats its barely above average) and thats also v quincy of him

also i think he forgot to say the time, but theres static for dinner, prolly bc pm

interesting i dont remember when sydney switched. was it always like that? 19:04 PM implies a 19:04 AM, and thats a lotta hours

sydney appreciating nature

do you even like goo arts? arent you allergic to goo

ok really interesting that they bring this up bc sydney was just talking about how he and jedidiah had a bag of acorns that they took home? and they were fine

plant spooky

related to project?

:(

time static

:((((

his lil eep is v cute

not even chess. bro why do you even check on him if youre too tired to play chess

clock tic

physically safe.

D:

sad gay

more clocks tic

no you cant end the ep like that

sydneys still gone :(((((

juniper no one likes you dont laugh at your own jokes

oh but rowan honey is getting juniper to his job worth putting up with his horrible voice and personality

its extremely ironic that jedidiah is responsible for mediating counselor arguements when he doesnt comunicate with his own husband

"how do I explain to you that you need to care about other people?" DONT SAY THAt... it makes me sad...

"I worry about you sometimes, though, y’know?" heres a concrete difference between juniper and jedidiah: juniper actually makes the effort to care about rowans worry, even if he cant empathize with it. honestly i think this episode is included to show jedidiah through a different light, bc so far it seems like him and juniper are very similar.

they both rarely do their actual work, and have someone they care about who has a (maybe) irrational fear of something they cant understand

"You keep saying all this nice shit to him like it means anything and then consistently letting him down with your behavior." showing jedidiah recognises these traits in other people but not himself.

"Your actions are what matter to the people around you, not your words or your intentions or your thoughts or your fucking anything else but your actions, and your actions show Sydney loud and clear that you don’t give a shit about him." aaand he let it slip. he knows hes doing the same, maybe? some part of him gets that.

hopefully after this there will actualy be some kind of positive change?

not sure if this is important, as i havent been reading the other log thingies, but under minor insight into it repeats a bullet point

theory: the elephant man took sydney???

"I promise you kids I will attend dutifully to the nurse’s office in Sydney’s absence. Or, I’ll make sure someone is, at least." more jedidiah avoiding his actual job, similar to juniper

again sydney prioritizes knowledge above all else, maybe a similarity to jedidiah

"One by one, we all stay alive…" cant remember if this was like an endy thing but it sounds familiar.. either way super spooky

yvonne dyslexic not clickbait?

"Of course I can, it’s — plain English." ok interesting def a thing about either yvonne or jedidiah, bc like they dont see the notes the same???

"I wanted her to get angry. I wanted a fight. I wanted consequences. I… I wanted… it to matter." he wants closure. he wants people to care about him

"She was kind then. So was Jedidiah." :(

:(((((((((((((

"really hard to believe that he would just — get up and leave." jedidiahs frustrated by the thought that sydney might not care about him like he thought?

another mention of religion. yvonne also mentioned praying in the last ep, and a while ago sydney talked about jedidiah being a 'good christian boy' or something like that

nvm that was the beginning of the last ep

im very good at life as you can tell

sorry back to 22

this is so strange

nother mention of religion

"My heartbeat has synced up with the ceaseless ticking… " reminds me of a comment i saw relating jedidiahs clocks to his heartbeat? idk i dont remember

this is... really disturbing. i dont know why

"holy day". interesting

this feels manipulative

no no elephant man if you turn sydney against jedidiah i will be very angy

wait isnt this like cult tactics, like asking someone to meet up in a low stakes setting, love bombing, asking them to do something to prove their loyalty. (i vaguely remember this from some yt video i watched about cats)

"Show you a love you have never known." hes preying on sydneys desire to be wanted, to be cared about

this is so unsettling my god.

" Jedidiah’s search party " means lucille aproved it?

"I mean, y’know, live like you’re dying, right? " (exexprincecore)

"What do you mean “that’s one way to put it”? Yvonne, these are blank papers!" enchanted papers?????????

ok sydney dont lie to them'

"Um. Okay. Listen. Sydney… I don’t want to lose you." but he doesnt really care, still

:(

clock ticking

"the tree finds human happiness nauseating." huh.

D:

"violent criminal history in the state of arkansas" thats all i could catch from the news thingy at the start, for some reason its not on the ep transcripts :(,,, but didnt elijah say hes from arkansas??? is that anything?

theres still static with the time

theyre dead?? like straight up?? all of cabin widow spider?

oh ok theyre not fully dead

as, like, the only sane person who cares about the elephant man, i wonder what marisols reaction is?

sports field? what about the musically inclined crystals?

hhehehe forgot that soren sounds like a cartoon villain

he nya like cat

...does the project have some relation to necromancy????????

tap tap tap tap tap tap

so crackers and butter cookies count as bread???

" but without death, it will never live." (to show ya the horror of stayin alive) (sorry sorry sorry sorry)

"Not because we want to, but because we must." ^^^^

wait wait wait i think i remember the one by one thing. but it was "one by one we all survive" and then "one by one we all stay alive" or something lik e that, so its interesting that it changed.

"but I can’t believe any amount of money would convince her to completely ignore the safety of the kids." again thingy with prioritizing the kids

"Seems this strain of mold just turns us into zombies, like… interpersonally?" mood

hahahaha juniper already is like that so the mold didnt have any effect

hun he is definitely deliberately manipulating yp

ok so idk about any of endy bits so far but it keeps bringing up not angering it and they "youve angered it" and im guessing if anything it has something to do with elijah??? or the project?? maybe both idk

"It’s like you don’t even care about the kids here anymore." huh

and it all comes back to control.

"Jedidiah… [Sigh] this mediation session isn’t for you and me." they need to go to couples therapy

" [Whisper] I miss you. .... I’m such a fucking idiot. " :((((

can the gays just be happy? just for a little bit? can elijah go away? can everyone please for the love of god or whatever just be happy for one goddamed moment?

no am, still static

i dont think thats a river

also, 'rapids'? he said like a moment before it was still, which kinda means its just more lake, and the land partially seperating it is an island

"they’re hungry for a sense of intellectual superiority." i love that the creatures in and around camp are half spooky half completely mundane

ye for once i think junipers right its more like a moat

"For today’s breakfast we have an eel’s head stuck upon a 500-year-old sword and slathered with pea mush — a hometown delicacy suggested by Juniper. He says they call it “scrumpledydumps!”" (ugh. british people.)

hc sydneys proficient in animal handling

... he feels like a curse and not in control of his life :(

forgot about the macaronis

uhh wouldnt a bridge make the hunt like destroy cam

(the horse? the divorce? /ref)

"I can’t figure out what this poor fox eats." is this a reference to the fly thing? showing contrast bc sydney actually thinks to take care of it?

still no am or pm but theres static

:((((((((((((((((((

please let them be happy? (this is why i stil havent finished yellow jacket. i simply cannot handle characters being sad or the undeniable feeling that something terrible is going to happen)

"the tree also finds human fear nauseating." huh.

clocks. are we finally gonna learn more about the project/??

no more river

beeping

what the actual f u c k is going on

id let matthew poison me with arsenic

holy fucking shit

i love that sydney raises his voice when he does an imression of joshua

"You know, when I was a kid, a large portion of my daily diet consisted of complimentary condiment packets from the school cafeteria."...sydney are you okay?/?????

at this point the static is kind of comforting. the only thing consistent at camp other than sydneys trauma

more beeping

huh??? i swear hamsters have been mentioned before

ye ye ye

how does sydney know what hamsters eyes look like if theyve been extinct for millions of years????

" 2:01 AM" WHOA thats new.... is it bc of maintenence? perhaps?

still static

oh fuck no i forgor about the journals

more clocks

FUCK

(extra thing this kinda reminds me of holloweane a bit just bc of the like not being able to give info, of course ms holloway does WANT to, and does try to tell duke, but anyway)

(and now i gotta go do stuff. why did i agree to do stuff after that episode. damn. anyway. this is your reminder to take a break from my ramblings. get some water, stretch, focus your eyes on something that isnt a screen. and of course, if your name is rowan, you should sleep probably)

hi im back

birds. huh.

and a clock tickin, but it stopped before the click.

apple=jedidiah?

what about the second hand???

clocks have knowledge. sydney wants it.

this musics quite the jam

is petrfified wings a thing? it feels farmiliar

" 25-26-100 hour days." hwhat the hell

he wants to be a clock? he wants to be flexible?

is this the extra special clock that fucked up time in that one episode?

wheat feild? related to the death fields? i think sydney mentioned someones wheat allergy in that ep

this is v strange

something.. something train related happened to his dad?

is.. is the next event sydneys death? jedidiahs death?

thats why he doesnt like it? why hes scared of death?

knowledge. thats what they both seek.

FUCK NO elijah go away i dont like you >:(

of course, elijahs using him to get information. also HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS (sydney please get away from that creepy stalker)

"hot tea with honey is good for sore throats." (goddamit emma now i gotta make a tea with honey /rref)

the weird audio thing in the background right after the episode title reminds me of my printer.

poor campers, no salt. nothing better happen to matthew >:(

at least sydney stopped spreading propoganda about the elephant man

oh also hes back to saying the time, am and pm, and our dear friend static

fuck

thats a lot of blood

w h a t

static please help me

what do they have against france

" it’s so funny to watch the fumes struggle to conjure anything worse than what I’ve actually been through." >:0

"[HE BUTCHERES THE PRONUNCIATION]" me too buddy, me too

did...did sydney get a clock?

o no are the penguins gonna come back

sydney are you okay???

all of this better be on the soundtrack

[HE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND CRY.] (mee too budy, me too)

" Are you ready? Why did you lie?" w h a t

ok ok ok im definitely gonna finish this today bc if i dont ill stay up thinking about it anyway

more god, sin and death stuff. also mention of adam, possible relation to up and adam? (intro bit still sounds like a hyperventilating printer)

(this is so long i wonder if anyones actually made it this far. wait atcually the fandoms small so prolly.) (i bet rowans reading this. i bet hes not actually sleeping like i told him to, twice.)

NO ELIJAHS BACK (idk if anyone else is here but i am a member of the elijah hate club)

brought up the ceremony thing again. (still seems kinda cultish)

quiet beeps

louder beeps

this "stupid man" sounds a bit like jedidiah...

"He did not understand how to feed it" again the starving thing

or, is it elijah? idk im confused

also wtf is goin on w the accent

:(

so muse is definitely sydney, prophet is elijah, so yeah i think the architect is jedidiah

"I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection" (uh oh is he gonna pull an ambrose)

kinda sounds like hes gonna set sydney on fire

FUCK SYDNEY YOU BETTER TELL JEDIDIAH (pls just make them be okay)

"…I’m going to start sleeping in the room with Jedidiah again." ok ok thats progress good.. maybe hes not so distrusting of jedidiah anymore??? at least hopefully itll help w his pain

silence.

(reading comments) i saw some ppl saying sydney died and got revived and that makes sense considerign the story but also WHAT THE FUCK

reason jedidiah wont tell him about the project? or why hes so intent on keeping him physically safe? (how much does he know about elijah, bc elijah seems to know a lot about him)

another mention of god in the news before the title

no more printer sounds? maybe i just wasnt payin attention

"Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?" joshua out here askin the real questions

idk whats goin on but somethng seems really off

clock

:(

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. that is no way to end an episode. again, this is why i cant finish yellow jacket. i do not like the sad.

idk if its just me but elijah sounded a bit different.

shit this is already episode 31.

trees

also um fuck what the hell is that title. the pyre??? sydneys just gonna go with it?! dude hes gonna set you on fire !!!

also side note taking a moment to appreciate the pacing of the series so far, the whole time its felt like just the right amount is happening, it never feels too rushed or boring. also the attention to detail and callbacks and references are amazing

oh fuck he mentioned the penguins. that means jedidiah will knwo he was looking for the journals

wow it s been a while since he talked about the sun or the moon, kinda nice to hear about the sky again. of course now im remembering jedidiah talking abotu the stars and im sad again.

the moon was in the sky all day? is that normal?

oh. she wants control. like how sydney talked to elijah. to prove he has control. to make a choice.

"was that being fed is not always the same as being nourished." back to the starving thing.

the clock is back

he misses jedidiah :(

still dont know whats goin on with the centipede

"I need to prove I’m worth something to you" (ambrosecore)

"My body is whole. My body is eaten.' spooky.

they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy

:(

32!

glitchy walky talkies? i think thats that kind of beep. something something something RADIATOR? idk as someone whos bad at listening, i kinda wish they put the beginning bits in the transcript, but i guess thats bc mysteries???

static is back. aw, the moon has returned to her duty.

"Ahhhhh, to overthrow nature…" reminds me of the natural order thing joshua said during the camp revolt thing

also i was so right about elijah's culty stuff

communication? are they gonna be happy, maybe, at some point???

...i may have read spoilers in the wiki that they get together in 34, so i hope that means theyll be happy.

fuck fuck fuck fuck noo no non on no no elijah stay away

"Am I alone… ? " D:

glad he has a gun. that definitely cant backfire in any possible way...

fuck fuck fuck why is cabin dungbeetle like thhis

sound design is still so fuckin sick

jedidiah describing sydney: he's, uh, fuck, idk hes hot?

hes so pathetic /affectionate

OH FUCK ELIJAH KIDNAPPED HIM!!! TONIES WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL

no no no you can t end on cliffhangers like that (i say as if im not gonna watch the next one in like a minute) (i could never watch shows or podcasts as they come out i would actually die from the cliffhangers)

oh wait its not the end of the ep.

again sound design is immaculate

if sydney dies at the end of this series so will i, just putting that out there. (oh same with jedidiah)

YO OMG HES SO SMART i forgot about the reflection thing. what did he steal?? idk he took something that was like 'the only way i could seee my reflection' or something.. that makes so much sense.

by the way imma be at least a bit upset if we dont get any more rowan content before the end of the series.

(last ep)

FUCK you elijah i hope you BURN in HELL (sorry to any non elijah-haters, but also, not sorry bc hes bad)

"every day is a living fucking nightmare!" i mean this is just a thing thats said and not, like, unique to the show, but jedidiah does say something similar earlier on i think

the whole love vs want think kinda reminds me of linda, and like wiley bein like 'you dont want to be loved you want to be adored' (of course thats more framed as a villain thing so..)

FUCK WAIT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???!!!!

"She keeps him like a prison." callback to the prison thing? the ''it felt comfy and safe, like a prison" i think it was something like that

so elijah is connected to the clocks somehow??

FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS THE JOURNAL

NO NO NO WHATS HE GOING TO DO

salamander man=elijah?

thats when he died???

second journal entry reminds me of, this is weird, but like dnd memes? and how magic kinda comes naturally to classes like sorcerers and bards, but wizards learn through study?

also im very confused by why the journal entries are so important, and why elijahs voice keeps changing. its really unsettling

so jedidiah was looking into magic to heal him?

"You turn it off and back on again." holy fuck

oh my god so thats why necromancy is such a reaccuring thing? and them being like , dw real necromancy isnt popular

the clock is also an interesting thing, idk what it means tho

aww the statics back :)

why is lucille like this

whats her goal in any of it

"This information… resists being known." (ms holloway vibes)

his, dad, died from that??

" Because I’m nothing without you, Sydney, I really am." (quincent vibes)

i find this switch really interesting bc up untill this moment sydneys always been the one, kind of, like, comfortable with death? and it makes sense now, i guess, because jedidiah was afraid of it, afraid that sydney might find out, and hed get hurt again

"But there’s something kind of sexy about that, though, right?" (a real stroke of luck, when the one man you can murder is one of the men you--- /ref) (sorrry sorry sorry this is a serious conversation ill try to be more normal)

awww gay (now for the happy? maybe? can they please be happy?) (sorry i said id be normal.. ill do that now < ---lying)

"Uhmm… [Sniff] hey, I, uh, haven’t seen you drink water, yet. I don’t think you’ve been drinking water — here. Drink. " (this is a reminder to all my friends who dont hydrate enough. do it. or you'll end up like sydney, nearly burned on a pyre by a weird russian guy in an elephant mask)

the gays? on their way to being happy? even just for a bit? not clickbait? (dw i know elijahs gonna come back and fuck everyone over in a lil bit. just let me have my moment)

"Also, he’s gone. For good." dude dont fucking jinx it!

"Seems the two of ‘em have gotten quite cozy. " (thats kinda gay dude)

i was so confused then i remembered that it was 20 dimentional chess

still kinda confused about the mirror thing

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THATS THE END

NO NO NO NO NO NO

e32uojkbwqlrhugejbkqfdshoihuqjbkefrbejwkghioujeklfnwmdlskjaipuojlknm, gnwklejfponrdsjlaiojfwejb

im sad now D:

anyway, i am sincerely sorry that you had to read this hot mess. uh, rowan, if youre still here. go to sleep.

ok now im gonna go read fanfic and hope it can heal me from this emotional rollercoaster.

bye <3

#camp here and there #chnt spoilers #cw violence #cw cannibalism #cw abuse? #cw gore #cw body horror? #cw death #cw animal death #cw cults? #uhh also spoilers for a lotta extra things bc i talk too much: spies are forever hatchetfield adamandi and toapp #marble musings #marble monologues

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 5 Set A (11/12/23-17/12/23)

Model Used is Tsonghan Wu

1.

This week was..disappointed in terms of actual progress towards the goal. I kept having Pushup days fall on Days where i was training chest. So there’s been no increase in the max because i didn’t even hit the max this week. I did however attempt to integrate a different mode of reaching the new maximums where i do it in sets starting small and then aiming for the final set to be 40+. But idk, i think just going one and done has seen the best overall increase. Gotta get back on track.

2.

Nil on this front save for the comps i’ve already got going. I did also rope my best friend of a decade into the push up comp and he is already on my heels after a week which makes me really proud but also really pissed.

3.

The Item for this week is another shirt. I threw this out because i realized that i have to pay more attention to my colour scheme if i want to get my aesthetic on point. This is another cheapo, over-sized Grey sweatshirt. That dull grey just washes me out. It’s not a shade that speaks of distinction, but blandness. I have an alternate to it that's in black and I think that one looks a lot better on me despite being the same type of shirt. That said, I may regret having chucked this one when winter finally rears its ugly head again. But its summer and we vibe.

4.

Dewds, this one is like so fukin fun rite? Like i feel so godamn Chad when i’ve got this voice goin. I had like an hour long convo with my brah @jocksupremacy an like i know duder was getting chubbed up listenin to me. I even like tranced the fuck outta him just with the voice. It was super rad.

5.

If you would have told me that hypnosis would be a major plot point in this hot man fighting anime i would have laughed in your face. And after seeing exactly how it manifests I’d laugh even harder.

6.

Kind of funny but the day after i wrote the stuff about over-thinking the approach to new dudes, I went and just did the thing. Dude i’ve seen around suuuper regularly. He’s never seemed to grow all that much but his strength is fucking impressive. Crazy Prs. Name’s Henry and he’s going into Uni next year. Stuck between a Compsci and an Engineering degree which frankly is what everyone seems to be getting into here. Seems cool as hell, disarmingly broey voice.

#jockbull summer #JBS #Jock #Bull

[mariana-oconnor]

The Crooked Man pt 2

So far we have had no crooked men, miles, sixpences or stiles. I feel a little bereft.

We do however have a corpse, and like so many things, that's a lot more fun in fiction than it would be in real life.

We also have questions: Who else was in the room? Where is the key? Is David a character or a biblical reference? Was this all a swingers evening gone wrong? Why was the door locked? Why did Nancy ask for tea when she usually doesn't?

The paper was covered with the tracings of the foot-marks of some small animal. It had five well-marked foot-pads, an indication of long nails, and the whole print might be nearly as large as a dessert-spoon. “It's a dog,” said I.

Ah nuts, is Watson going to kill this one, too?

“Did you ever hear of a dog running up a curtain? I found distinct traces that this creature had done so.” “A monkey, then?” “But it is not the print of a monkey.”

Yeah, monkeys have tiny little hands. A cat? They sometimes climb curtains. I'm sure a dog could climb a curtain in the right circumstances.

“Neither dog nor cat nor monkey nor any creature that we are familiar with."

Ferret. I'm going with ferret, although I will accept an alternative mustelidae relative. Probably not a honey badger. Probably...

"You have an indication, you see, of a long body with very short legs attached to it."

Ferret!

Watson, please don't shoot the ferret. I will be very sad if you shoot the ferret.

"On the whole, it was probably some creature of the weasel and stoat tribe—and yet it is larger than any of these that I have seen.”

The honey badger can have a canary, as a treat.

(If it isn't a honey badger now, I'm gonna be so sad. It's a honey badger in my heart.)

"We know, also, that he ran across the lawn, entered the room, accompanied by a strange animal, and that he either struck the Colonel or, as is equally possible, that the Colonel fell down from sheer fright at the sight of him"

"Now, it was equally certain that, immediately on her return, she had gone to the room in which she was least likely to see her husband, had flown to tea as an agitated woman will..."

So the tea is because she was agitated? Okay, I guess I can allow that. It is the British way: crisis = tea. Fair.

"I saw a man coming towards us with is back very bent, and something like a box slung over one of his shoulders. He appeared to be deformed, for he carried his head low and walked with his knees bent."

One (1) 'Crooked' man, check.

Miss Morrison is a good friend, very supportive of her. She is being very rude about this man - Henry - though. 'dreadful looking creature'. He's just a man. Possibly a murderer, true, but there's no need to be quite so rude. Another to join the Watson Society of Judgemental Descriptions.

“‘“I thought you had been dead this thirty years, Henry,” said she, in a shaking voice.'"

So it is a past husband? Right? Right?

Also, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate the amount of nested inverted commas here. This is reported speech within reported speech within reported speech. Double in single in double. I don't think I've ever actually noticed someone doing that before. I know this has nothing really to do with the story, but it's kind of impressive, no?

"'He had a very dark, fearsome face, and a gleam in his eyes that comes back to me in my dreams. His hair and whiskers were shot with gray, and his face was all crinkled and puckered like a withered apple.'"

Clearly we are meant to think of this man as a villain, but I don't want to. Guy's got wrinkles and some sort of disability, so far all he's done is recognise a lady. We've had far creepier people in these stories who everyone's gushed about. I'm on team Henry - for now. Maybe for always.

"The man is by trade a conjurer and performer, going round the canteens after nightfall, and giving a little entertainment at each."

Oh yeah, team Henry absolutely. He's a travelling conjurer of cheap magic tricks?

Although... he does keep a honey badger locked up in a box and brings it out to perform for money. Gosh darn it! This is why we can't have nice things.

Fine, Henry is guilty of animal cruelty and I hope the honey badger eats him. Are you happy ACD? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

"She showed it to me, Watson, and it was an Indian rupee."

I thought Indian when they said monkey earlier, because in part one they mentioned the Colonel being involved in the Mutiny - which I assume was one of the Indian Mutinies - but then we went onto mustelidae. And I'm pretty sure the honey badger is native to Africa... oh no, oh no, oh no, I am wrong. It is native to India. HONEY BADGER CONSPIRACY IS BACK IN BUSINESS.

Unless the guy is a were-honey badger. (I mean obviously not really, but that's going in the supernatural Holmes universe in my head as well).

Also it could be a type of marten, but while team Henry has been abandoned, team Honey Badger is going strong.

The man sat all twisted and huddled in his chair in a way which gave an indescribably impression of deformity; but the face which he turned towards us, though worn and swarthy, must at some time have been remarkable for its beauty.

So Watson thinks he's hot? Or he was hot? Coolcool. Not the description I was expecting here.

"There were two men that loved her, and one that she loved, and you'll smile when you look at this poor thing huddled before the fire, and hear me say that it was for my good looks that she loved me."

Well, Watson apparently won't. But it's definitely looking like it's an accidental bigamy situation. I hate it when that happens. Also... liking him for his looks is not the basis for a strong relationship. I hope she liked you for other things, too.

"But the real blow was to my heart and not to my head, for as I came to and listened to as much as I could understand of their talk, I heard enough to tell me that my comrade, the very man who had arranged the way that I was to take, had betrayed me by means of a native servant into the hands of the enemy."

Alas, Colonel Barclay, you were a dick. Congratulations on a truly terrible case of being a poor loser. She didn't want you, just fucking deal with it, my dude. Don't betray your own fucking men. Terrible plan. 0/10. Your death was utterly deserved.

So Henry was tortured and enslaved and permanently disabled, yeah. And also left with so much internalised ableism that he can't bear to go home and be seen like that. Henry, if you weren't super guilty of animal cruelty, I would be fully on your side. I mean I am on your side... just... why do you keep a honey badger in a box?

"But he was dead before he fell. I read death on his face as plain as I can read that text over the fire. The bare sight of me was like a bullet through his guilty heart.”

Good riddance.

I am amused by how things like this happen in victorian fiction, though. Just one look at the guy and he keels over dead.

“It's a mongoose,” I cried.

...

Fine... Honey badger conspiracy is out. But mongeese are pretty cool, too. I've always thought of them as being pretty small, though, but the internet tells me they can be anywhere from 9 inches to 23 inches long. So they are both small and larger, I guess. They're also not mustelids, so there's that.

Also, I should have guessed this, because it's one of my favourite Terry Pratchett quotations and this part is out on the Glorious 25th of May:

'...the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.'

Well it definitely was this time. GNU Terry Pratchett, I should always listen to you.

Honey badger was probably too big to climb up a curtain...

Still shouldn't keep a mongoose in a box and force it to perform, though.

“But if not, there is no object in raking up this scandal against a dead man, foully as he has acted."

I mean, on the one hand, sure, but on the other hand Drag his Ass.

“Yes; David strayed a little occasionally, you know, and on one occasion in the same direction as Sergeant James Barclay. You remember the small affair of Uriah and Bathsheba?"

I may have been wrong about the honey badger, but I was right about the biblical reference. Little wins, amirite?

Turns out Colonel Barclay was as big a dick as the 'violence and vindictiveness' indicated. Alas.

BUT, Watson didn't shoot any animals. Yay.

Although poor Teddy is still shut up in a box and Henry also has a cobra in there that he tortures for the amusement of people in bars.

The next one is another 4-parter, so plenty of time for me to make up harebrained theories about mustelidae.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Crooked Man #Free Teddy #Justice for mongeese #long post

[mattodore]

hello, I'm curious about some things about Matthias and Theo

Who asked first to date?

How did their relationship look before it started to be serious?

Oh, Matthias was after Theo from the start. Theo’s pretty much Matthias’s exact type (which I’ve talked about here) and from the moment he first saw Theo he’d already made up his mind to go after him. He was, however, obstructed by the fact that Theo did not like him. Theo was instantly wary and on edge around him. Prey vs. predator. You get the themes and motifs, you understand what I mean. Obviously this changes over time, but when it does… Matthias doesn’t exactly ask Theo out. They behave exactly how a couple behaves: staying over at each other’s places, sleeping together, relying on one another… but Matthias still doesn’t ask Theo to date him because he already considers Theo to be his in that way. I don’t think he ever actually asks. And Theo… well. Theo doesn’t really think about it. But Matthias approached Theo first and he’s the one who made all the first moves. So… I would say him.

As for their relationship before they became serious… hm. Their relationship was always kind of serious from their very first interaction. With two characters like Theo and Matthias… there’s no way they could’ve been anything but that. But I do get what you’re really asking…

Since Theo is exactly his type, Matthias was drawn to him immediately, watching him across the room and leisurely enjoying the view. Matthias approached Theo at first the same way he approached all the men he wanted to sleep with—which is to say that he was charming and seductive. He did just want to fuck Theo at first, to be frank. But I will say that Matthias was kind of already ready to degrade himself for Theo from the moment they started talking. Theo is… very enticing. I mean, you’ve seen Theo. He’s gorgeous and he’s got an air about him that has you wanting more… He’s certainly captivating in his beauty but that quality of his that seems almost untouchable and uncaring is what really made Matthias crazy. Plus, Theo was rude. Matthias wanted him so bad he would’ve knelt then and there for him. 

Theo, on the other hand, didn’t want anything to do with Matthias. This isn’t to say that Theo had no interest in Matthias. Theo was… very attracted to him. The first word out of Matthias’s mouth made him shiver. Theo is a sensory kind of person, and the sound of Matthias’s voice paired with the distinct scent of his cologne… Theo was turned on pretty much the second Matthias got close to him. But Theo also has a lot of problems with a very certain type of man that Matthias fits the bill for: authority figures. Matthias gives a very strong impression. His bearing, his stature, his arrogance, his wealth, his voice… they all paint a very clear picture of who Matthias is and what he could be capable of. Or, they did in Theo’s mind, anyway. Theo makes a lot of snap judgments to protect himself and he’s very stubborn. He does not budge. And Matthias had the unfortunate obstacle of Theo’s acidic, distrustful personality to soften first before he could even try talking to him successfully. Now, I’m not saying Theo was exactly wrong here… Matthias is not a good person. Amoral degeneracy and hedonism… this is Matthias to me. So, yeah… Theo was very smart to avoid Matthias. But Theo was also misreading things almost intentionally because he was attracted to Matthias in a way he wasn’t used to. And he was also reacting to a trigger response. Prey animal fear. So.

When they met again, it was a little different. Matthias was interested in Theo for a much different reason. After Theo had so bluntly told Matthias off and showed how clearly he saw him, Matthias was intrigued. And Theo was… in a bit of a way. Plus, he didn’t remember meeting Matthias before. So the conversation was different. Theo’s guard was down. They talked, but nothing more. Matthias offered to dance with Theo, though, which Theo declined. 

They have more incidental meetings from there and Theo slowly drops his hackles. Not all the way, mind you, but enough that when Matthias slips Theo’s hair behind his ear and leans down to whisper to him, Theo allows himself to be guided someplace more intimate. Theo’s never had sex the way he’s had sex with Matthias. It scares him off. Matthias has to coax him back to him, which is no easy task… Theo can be very harsh when he’s scared. But Matthias likes being hurt and humiliated, doesn’t he? So. Not a problem for him. And the reward would be so sweet… so he takes his time. He warms Theo up. Theo’s aware of what Matthias is doing, but it’s not like Theo doesn’t want to have him again… his attraction to Matthias is even worse now that he knows what he’s like in bed. So he’s lured in so gently… and then they have sex again. And it keeps happening. But Theo doesn’t want anything else from Matthias. And all Matthias wants is Theo’s time. Matthias is infatuated and desperate and, yeah, a little pathetic. Theo is still detached and waspish but melts so, so easily when Matthias touches him just right. 

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #ts4 #FINALLY!!! finished answering this!! you sent this in october... my god................... anon you have my full permission #to execute me for making you wait THIS LONG!! despite how many time since october i've said i'd start working on it soon #but thank you for asking <3 it's very sweet of you and i appreciate the excuse to talk about them #very much a ''won't speak until spoken to'' kind of person even on my blog 😭😭😭 i really need to get over that but yk how it is. avpd. #but anyway i won't lie............ #i feel like a lot of this is probably just stuff i've said before but now i've said it all together just slightly reworded #i also finished typing out my reply to another oc extras ask earlier too so i'm going to answer that one soon too but!! #<- deleted some tags bc i ended up taking new screenshots and editing them :)

[dmwrites]

The Evermore was a beautiful place, if a bit squishy. The clearing was tidy and cute, with witchy looking buildings. The witch herself, Shelby, emerged from a building at Cub’s calls.

“Omg hi Cub! I’m so glad you came!” Shelby said.

“Of course. You said something about needing some help?”

“Yeah!” Shelby clapped her hands. “See, beyond the Evermore is a mysterious fog, and I’m stumped in what to do about it. I want to know why it’s there, and what’s causing it. I was hoping you could help me figure this whole fog thing out- magic seems to be a bust, but maybe science? And you’re wearing a lab coat.”

“Yep. That’s the only credential you need in science, definitely.” Cub said. “Is it dangerous in there?”

“Well, maybe. Kind of? Yeah. People keep going in and not coming out. Not everyone! Most people just hear voices or get their soul stolen. It’s weird in there. Definitely ghosts. Maybe. I don’t know.” Shelby gave him a very nervous smile.

“Well, I’ve got the power of this big axe that Katherine gave me on my side, I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Cub said, hoisting his battle axe before putting it back in its holster. “I’ll slice down any ghost.”

“Awesome! Well, good luck!” Shelby said, waving him off.

And so Cub went, checking behind every tree and root he passed. The mangrove forest was huge, and the deeper he got, the harder it was to see. At first he thought it was just the density of the foliage, but an odd coloration to the air and a rather offensive smell made him realize that the fog was here. And then came the whispers.

“Hello?” Cub pulled out his battle axe, looking around nervously. The whispers in the fog didn’t necessarily sound dangerous, more like an out-of-earshot conversation he wasn’t part of. But the way Shelby had looked at him, the genuine fear in the eyes of the witch who lived with the fog at her back, kept him on edge. And there was this distinct feeling of dread that Cub could feel radiating from his very soul. Someone was watching him. Someone was waiting for him.

“Are you lost?”

Cub gasped, swinging all around him, but only hitting a tree. There was a voice, echoey and almost lost sounding, but definitely distinct from the whispers.

“Who- where are you?” Cub whirled all around, seeing nothing except the fog and the shadows of trees. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything- oh, no, Friend, don’t- oh my god.”

Something blue came out of the fog, and Cub swung at it. The axe went right through it, and Cub stood dumbfounded with his axe buried in the mud, looking at a blue sheep. And behind it emerged a tall man with a yellow sweater with a gash in it. Cub yanked the axe out of the ground.

“Literally so fucking rude to swing at an animal, lucky Friend has infinite lives.” The man, Cub noticed, was translucent. So was the sheep. He could see the fog through both of them. “So you’re lost and scared, then. They usually are.”

“You’re what’s been causing this fog!” Cub exclaimed, holding the axe aloft again. “I can’t believe I found you!”

“No, you’re being silly.” The ghost said firmly, holding out a hand. “I am Ghostbur, not a fog. Ghost. Not fog. See the difference? I’m just like, here, man.”

“Shelby said there would be ghosts.” Cub said. “I didn’t think she was right. Are you the ghost of one of the people who got lost in here, then?”

Ghostbur shook his head. “No, no. Just, here, you know. Listen, Cub, you look very scared and confused. Here, have some blue. It‘ll help, although it looks a little funny. Maybe it’s the fog- it has a way of distorting things.” Ghostbur reached down as if to pet Friend, but his hand went deeper then should be possible. When he pulled back, the ghost was holding a handful of a dark blue and black substance, that not so much leaked from his hand as it did convulse. Cub knew what it was, he’d seen it before in his travels. Sculk. Ghostbur held it out to Cub, smiling just as politely as he had been this whole exchange.

“You know what… I’m good, actually, man. Super nice to meet you, but I’ve got to get going… meetings, you know how it is.” Cub chuckled nervously and turned around, hoping that if he just walked in a straight line, he’d get out of this place. Forget science and curiosity. Some things were better left unanswered.

“It’s rude not to accept a gift, Cubfan.” Ghostbur said, and Cub suddenly felt a sharp pain in his back and chest. He looked down, and found Ghostbur’s pale hand, still holding the sculk, all the way through his chest. “We don’t want to be rude, now do we?” Ghostbur whispered in his ear, and Cub could feel it, could feel Ghostbur’s slimy lips against the shell of his ear. With a nasty, wet pop, Ghostbur’s hand withdrew back through Cub’s body, and a shiver of cold shot through him, radiating out from the spot where Ghostbur’s arm had been.

What followed the cold was a floating sense of calm. Cub turned around and was not suprised to find Ghostbur holding a white light in his hand. “My soul.” Cub said. He couldn’t care less, although it was very pretty. Too bright, but pretty.

“Yes. You don’t need it.” Ghostbur replied. “You must spread the sculk.”

“I will.” Cub replied. He knew what that meant. He always had, deep inside. He turned around and walked away, the fog pushing him where he needed to go, back into the Evermore. With every step he took, he could feel the sculk grow inside his body and on his skin. It was wonderful, and soon everyone would know this feeling. Cub smiled. It was simple. Spread the sculk.

#November 30 2022 #fic #hc x empires #cubfan135 #Ghostbur #Shelby is there for a hot sec love ya bb #long post #oh so you thought I was done w Ghostbur huh

[the-tired-commander]

i am once again writing nonsense (be nice to me i am trying okay <3) Ormar has a terrible morning

(vague mentions of gore)

It would be so easy to stay this way. In the warm embrace of slumber, the way it wraps around the body and holds you, like nothing else truly matters.

But a sliver of light pierces this safety, and drags Ormar back into the world of the waking.

Back into the world where he must face what he’s done.

He groans, low and pained, as he cracks his eyes open. The light from the window tells him everything he was dreading to know.

He got out. And now, he must pick up the pieces. He’s at home at least, he finds himself thinking. More than once has he woken up in the middle of nowhere, or worse, in some poor herders paddock.

Ormars gaze drifts across the destroyed room, eyes settling on the hatch in the floor that’s in far more pieces than it should be. His brain is still trying to drag together the fragments of his memories from the night before, he can remember feelings but little else. He was angry about something.

His other senses are catching up with him now, the last remnants of sleep escaping his body. He knows this taste. He wishes he didn’t.

It's a colossal effort to get his body in motion, everything aches all the way to his core and he feels as though he's wading through a snowbank.

It's at this point that he realises he is alone. Rosie is missing. He's holding his breath now. He's praying it's not what he thinks.

He moves faster now, forces his screaming muscles to listen to him as he heads out into the blinding day light reflecting off the snow.

There it is. He knew it would be out here.

A pile of viscera painting the snow around it.

The taste is thicker in his mouth.

He did this.

It's not her, he's confident of that at least. Drawing closer to what's left of the body lets him realise it's in two distinct piles. 

In half, he supposes.

What's left of the face doesn't tell him much about who this once was. A human, he thinks, seems the right size for it. There's a tattered suit mixed in with the gore, maybe this was a noble.

He grimaces at that.

For now, he leaves the body be, he'll have to bury it later. Deep enough that the animals can't reach it and far enough away that he won't have to think about it.

He moves back towards his home, he still wants to know where she's gone.

“Ms Gwynn?” His voice is barely raised, like she might just appear before him.

But she doesn’t.

He swallows hard as he desperately tries to rack his brain for any sort of hint to the events of the night before. There has to be something. Some shred of memory that might give him the answers he is searching for.

“Rosalynn?” His voice is a little more forceful now, panic is starting to set in. What if the nameless corpse wasn’t the only one? What if he’s about to turn a corner to see what’s left of her?.....What if there was nothing left of her?

He shakes his head to get rid of that thought. It can’t be true. It just can’t.

“ROSIE!” He shouts as loudly as he can. If she’s here, she has to hear him. 

The only response he gets is his own echo. 

Pushing the door to the building she’s been staying in is a hellish task, he pushes the door so slowly, like he’s terrified of what's on the other side.

It’s not a complete mess, at least. There are draws fully pulled out and the closest is standing open, the contents gone.

A glimpse of white catches his attention from the corner of his eye, sat neatly on the bed with his name written across it.

It takes him a few tries to actually understand what’s written there, not for any fault with the writing, but because his brain is still trying to drag itself from the stupor he’s left in after a full moon.

She’s safe. His whole body relaxes once he knows this, like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders that he’s been carrying for decades.

He knows the name of what’s left of that body outside too. Sylvanus, the man Rosie had talked about only in vague details. He feels a little less guilty about his actions now.

He groans deeply as he places the letter down. She’s safe. That’s what matters right now. He’ll probably never see her again. But she’s safe. His hands shake.

She’s safe. He sits with his head in his hands for far too long before he slowly rises from the bed. He has work to do. A bonfire will soften the ground and burn away at least parts of the body. He’ll bury what’s left and tomorrow he will try to move on. It’s better this way. It’s safer this way.

#formatting is kinda ass but ah well #ormar thodrekson #he just has a terrible morning #he's my sweet werewolf son who definitely doesn't kill people :) #the formatting was better on the document i had it on #im trying to get better at writing and practice is the best way for that #this doc is titled ''bad monch :(''

[noodyl-blasstal]

Buying people awful holiday gifts is better than buying them good ones. Here’s a fic about it.

--

The man had been nosing about the magnet stand for the last 20 minutes and Lup was starting to wonder if there was some super low stakes shoplifting going on. Nothing on that carousel was worth more than a copper. They were absolute trash compared to nearly everything else in here, but each to their own. Lup had been enjoying the view, and she wasn’t a narc. They didn’t pay her enough to care, but this guy was hot and she was bored so it was time to engage.

“Are you okay, my dude?” Lup asked as she swung her feet down from the desk and shoved the textbook she’d been reading to the side.

The man jumped, and spun towards her voice, looking shocked.

“I won’t narc if you’re planning to take some, but I will judge you because there’s much better stuff to steal here.” Lup continued as she walked round the desk towards him.

The man looked panicked. “I’m not stealing.” He said. “I’m, just, er, trying to decide.” 

Lup rolled her eyes. 

“Uh huh, sure.” As if she’d believe he’d just been staring at these terrible magnets for ages because he actually wanted one.

The man looked more concerned. “No, really. Look, you can help me.” He turned the carousel slightly and pointed at a terrible rendering of a map of Goldcliff with ‘New Elfington’ written in wonky script over it. “Is this worse than this?” The man spun the carousel further this time and pointed to a magnet which showed a variety of animals with two horns and the phrase ‘Too horny for Old Elfington’ sprawled across the top.

“What’s the criteria? If we’re doing science, we’re doing it properly, Bluejeans.” Lup absolutely needed to know more.

“Bluejeans?” The man looked baffled, Lup pointed at his denim clad legs and the corner of his mouth quirked.

“Your name’s Bluejeans now, I’m Lup. Stop stalling - gimme the sweet sweet rubric.” Lup was too intrigued to let him stall any more.

“Okay, so, my friend Krav and I get each other terrible tourist tat whenever we travel for work. We’re moving down here in a few months, so I need to get him something truly appalling before it’s no longer considered a tourist destination.” Bluejeans was still staring intently at the magnets.

“Does he have to display it in his home as if he got it on purpose?” Lup felt like this was an important distinction. “And is he a map nerd like you?”

“I’m not, I’m not a map nerd!” Bluejeans sounded indignant

“Then why do you like this one?” Lup pointed to the Goldcliff/New Elfington mash up magnet.

“Because, it’s, the, er, the paint’s bad.” Bluejeans couldn’t even make eye contact and had turned a weird shade of red.

“Neeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrd.” Lup teased. Bluejeans looked down at his feet and she worried she’d gone too far until he looked up at her with narrowed eyes.

“And why would I need to be a map nerd to like this one?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow. Fuck if that wasn’t hot. Lup felt the tips of her ears burning and hoped desperately he didn’t notice the flush in them.  “Neeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrd” Bluejeans teased back. 

Lup narrowed her eyes, and he seemed to panic slightly at that. It was sweet to see someone so overtly worried about upsetting her, she laughed instead. “You got me. Chagirl loves cartography. Anyway, displaying the magnet?” 

Bluejeans grinned. “Yes, they have to go somewhere prominent.” 

Lup couldn’t help but laugh, she wondered what Bluejeans’ house was like - he must also have a weird mash of terrible tourist stuff everywhere. Probably had a lot of books too… he was clearly a massive nerd. Maybe he had a library? Lup couldn’t believe she’d reached a point in life where that sounded incredibly hot to her, but here she was. Bluejeans in just his bluejeans in his library? Perfection!

“Okay, definitely the two horny one.” Lup plucked it off and handed it to Bluejeans, noting with interest that he’d gone an even darker shade of pink at that. Their fingers brushed as he took it from her, and she didn’t appreciate the swoopy feeling in her stomach when they did. She absolutely had to leave this nice, innocent nerd to his day. He wasn’t even here long term… yet… he might not even be into women, let alone her specifically. Maybe he was actually married to Krav and just told people they were friends in case they were homophobes? Yeah, that seemed likely, they were a nice gay couple with a beautiful library and a weird collection of mildly sexual tourist magnets. She was not in with a shot here.

“I’ll defer to your expertise.” Bluejeans replied, then clearly panicked about the connotations of implying her expertise was in horniness. “I mean, er, your, your magnet selling expertise, not that, not, not anything else, you’re just doing your job, your magnet job. Magnets.”

Lup couldn’t help but snort at that. Fuck, this guy was great. 

“My magnets job, yep. Lup Tacco: Magnet Executive!” Lup grabbed the magnet back from him, took it to the till, and placed it reverently in a brown paper bag. Poor Bluejeans was radiating embarrassment at this point. “Right, take care of this, and make sure Krav puts it front and centre on the fridge.” 

Bluejeans relaxed slightly, and took the bag. “I’ll make sure he knows. Lup: Head of Magnets, said front and centre. Mere mortals can’t argue with that.” 

Lup snorted. “It’s nice to be respected,” she replied. “Anyway, thanks for stopping in today Bluejeans, it really broke up my day. Enjoy the rest of your trip, and I’m sure I’ll see you again when you both move here.” When Bluejeans looked puzzled she continued. “I assume Krav will want at least six more of those bad boys.” And grinned wide.

“How could anyone resist?” Bluejeans replied. Lup’s traitorous, swoopy stomach read too far into it. “Thanks Lup! It was lovely to meet you.”

“You too Bluejeans!” She waved as he backed out of the shop, looking like he wanted to say more, but awkwardly stepping further towards the door every time he seemed like he was about to open his mouth. 

It was only once he’d left the store, giving an awkward final wave as he crossed the threshold, that Lup realised.

“He actually stole the magnet.” She said, shaking her head and laughing just as Bluejeans ran back into the store, panting, and looking aghast.  “Lup! I stole the magnet!!!”

#Taako has the magnet in magnet form and a bumper sticker #Blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup Tacco #Lup #TAZ Fic #Noodyl Writes

[earthaquila]

I have been having feels about Japanese voice actors lately, so let me bring to your attention that MFB actually has an INCREDIBLE og cast:

Tsuda Kenjirou as Ryuuga

Even if you’ve watched only a few anime or played only a few Japanese games, I strongly believe you have heard this voice. This guy is honestly one of the most respected voice actors in Japan. His distinctive low voice is SO characteristic, it’s a perfect pick for Ryuuga. I could go on and on how sexy he sounds, but let’s keep it family friendly.

Koyasu Takehito as Daidouji

This guy is so known for his villain roles, you just can’t mistake him for anyone else. There’s no better voice for Daidouji.

Hino Satoshi as Tategami Kyouya

Another very popular actor, this role seems to be a bit different than what he’s usually cast as. I really enjoy the way he portrayed the fierceness and fearlessness in Kyouya.

Irino Miyu as Ootori Tsubasa

One of my personal favourite voices ever, he’s very good at portraying calm and collected characters, but also incredibly skilled at shoving their inner turmoil and eventual breakdowns. I wish he was more active in the industry at the moment!

Inoue Marina as Hasama Hikaru

Usually known for more girly roles, Hikaru revealed another, lower layer to her voice. I really enjoy that type of character and she delivered her performance perfectly. Wish she did more roles like this one.

Hayami Shou as Hagane Ryuusei

Another legend who doesn’t need to be introduced. I feel like his performance, even he doesn’t appear in the majority of the episodes, adds a sense of professionalism to every scene he’s in. It’s also a great choice to have him as the narrator in the intro.

Kakihara Tetsuya as Hyouma

He’s mostly known for boyish roles and while Hyouma does fit that criteria, the hidden layer of fake politeness is incredibly fun to listen to. I really enjoyed this performance and it’s a shame he got so little screentime.

Ishida Akira as Ooike Tobio

The legend of all legends. The man can single-handedly perform a skit starring a family of seven! Needless to say, I was delighted to hear him as Tobio. It’s such a fun role and again, I wish he got more dialogue because it’s just SO GOOD to listen to.

Yuuki Hiro as Fukami Ryuutarou

Not only an accomplished actor, but also an incredible singer. His distinctive voice is a perfect pick for Ryuutarou, especially with the unusual speech pattern that he had to pull off. It resulted in a very unique performance.

Okamoto Nobuhiko as Saotome Teru

One of the most popular actors in the recent years, I feel like Teru is one of those roles that you don’t immediately recognise because the actor changes his voice THAT MUCH. It only proves how versatile he can be.

Hatano Wataru as Wang Da Xiang

You might know him from several recent anime, he’s not typically what you have in mind when you think of a “competitive guy focused on upholding a long tradition”. Which is why I think subverting the expectations worked great and giving Da Xiang a rather calm voice was a great choice overall.

Takahashi Hiroki as Zhou Xing (Chao Xin)

Another calm voice in a “not-so-calm” role. He performed Zhou Xing’s childishness and carefreeness so naturally, and yet so different from his normal tone!

Hosoya Yoshimasa as Wells

Another personal favourite, he’s such a sweet guy and yet he possesses one of the MANLIEST voices in the industry. He can perform both goofs and serious guys, but it’s the latter that has such an incredible impact. Naturally, his voice suits Wells like none other.

Yonaga Tsubasa as Demure

You might know him from “cute boy” roles, so it’s really refreshing to hear him in a more challenging role. I really enjoy his composed performance!

Sugiyama Noriaki as Blader DJ

And last but not least, another legendary actor. While DJ might not be a “character” per se, it’s such an important role! I absolutely love his voice. Fun fact, he also voiced the DJ in the og series of Beyblade.

Of course this is only a fraction of the actors performing in MFB but I’ve listed those I’m most familiar with. I just wanted to emphasise they are the some of the most well-respected and popular voice actors in their field - not quite what you’d expect from a show made to advertise toys :) 

#metal fight beyblade #seiyuu #voice acting #mfb

[bunnyinatree]

ALRIGHT. Let me tell you about Stallion Quartermane the way I see him: Italian, trans, and ABSOLUTE BLORBO. because ur tags almost indicated interest in my interp of him and I want to rotate him at you if you don't mind :3

So, him being italian. My brain could not fucking wrap around Stallion Quartermane being the only Marleybonian horse. I *GET* that it's an animal pun to Allan Quatermain, a British character written by a British author, but MY BRAIN WOULD NOT LET ME BE OKAY WITH IT. So instead I was like 'okay do we have other European horses? Oh yes we do! The Valencians! (they're unicorns not horses but shhhhh maybe Stallion was just born different or maybe unhorned horsefolk exist in Valencia IDK)'. Hence, Italian Stallion Quartermane.

And him being transmasc. It was an accident. I was writing something. Like a snippet of the Old One's records about Stallion. And I misgendered Stallion via typo: I meant to write 'male' and instead wrote 'mare'. I.E., a female horse. I did not notice the typo until like MONTHS later when I went to look for that old writing. And instead of correcting it, I was like 'fuck it. He's transmasc now. Oldie was writing about Stallion's physicality as an AFAB horse or whatever' And because I myself am transmasc, I got to PROJECT shit onto Stallion now :D

So now he's two major degrees of separation different from his canon self. And there was a lot I could explore with like... his personal assimilation and him stuffing his nationality AND his genderqueerness in a closet, and how something something connecting that to how he founded the SGS whose main goal is to discover and assimilate nations into the Marleybonian empire and stuff their cultures into a storage closet or museum.

And in my AU of Wizard101, the story diverges from canon before Arc 4 can begin. Which means I have a Stallion with an intensely new and different PRESENT as well as as PAST. And he's physically incapable of going on his canon arc in Lemuria because canon is now broken, which gives him the opportunity to become a completely different character.

It's so fun. He's colonized my braincells and I've queerified his. I am normal (lie) about this old man

I am most definitely interested in hearing your thoughts! :D I really adore the heroes of Lemuria, and even if Stallion Quartermane isn't my favorite of that group, he is still the template for all of them, and I think his character is a lot of fun. I love his upbeat voice and his little catchphrase of, "To adventure!" 🥰 I also love hearing opinions about characters from people who have stronger opinions about them than me! 💖

That's so interesting about all of the Valencians being unicorns! :0 I actually didn't notice that before--or rather, I didn't make the distinction between the horse characters and the unicorn characters! The only other horses besides Quartermane that I can think of are the Golden Horde from Catmandu, at the beginning of Novus. Fascinating! Maybe he has family from both Valencia and Marleybone, or he's a Valencian who was raised in Marleybone? 🤔

That is hilarious about the male/mare typo! 😆 It's like a Freudian slip, but for uncovering the trans potential of a beloved character 💕✨ I also think it's really fun to have a trans headcanon for a character who fits into a stereotypical/gendered role. Quartermane is a rugged, dashing adventurer--but somehow, his performance is so over-the-top that it comes across as campy, almost. He reminds me a lot of Sea Hawk from the She-Ra reboot! C: They even have the same catchphrase!

That's super cool about your AU, too! I love altering things in canon to see how characters would react under different circumstances and how they might grow into different people when the story is tweaked even a little bit to the left :) I support Stallion Quartermane being trans and Italian, not just in your AU but in the canon material, as well! 🇮🇹🏳️‍⚧️

#asks #stormbreaker101 #trans quartermane would also fit pretty well into the canon lemuria plotline! #since the old one was so into the idea of creating heroes under the right circumstances... #it makes sense that he would look at a trans person who chose their own fate and think of that as a kind of exceptional heroism :') #anyway tysm for sending these asks <3 they were a delight to stumble upon and read yesterday! C: