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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

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Skam France season 3, episode 2 reaction

Skam France is really leveling up

Eliott Demaury, raccoon enthusiast is the best creative decision they’ve ever made

Episode 2

Clip 1 - surejan.gif

Is the B-roll or w/e at the start of the clip the same place Lucas was brooding in the first clip of the season? It’s probably reading too much into it but I like that those two dudes on the bench are there for a reason, like mirroring Lucas and Eliott at the end of the last episode, sitting with space between them (no Chloé in the middle, though).

Lucas scrolls through his phone looking for Eliott. He doesn’t find him, but he does find a friend request from Chloé, which he accepts after a moment’s hesitation. Son, she’s going to take that as a marriage proposal.

Mika plops down beside him and nags Lucas about the rent. Now that Manon’s parents are no longer financing Lucas’ rent, seems like he’s behind. Can I just mention that Mika and Lucas look like they could be related? I know it is a running Skam fandom joke that the Evak couples look related (sometimes said with underlying homophobia IMO BUT I’m not going to go into that rant now) and I’ve seen people say Lucas and Eliott look similar, but Lucas and Mika are the ones who stick out the most to me. Actually, Lisa too. If you told me that this was an apartment of like ... three siblings being gay and cranky at each other, I would buy it.

Notifications are going off on Mika’s phone. It’s because Mika changed his profile pic, which he helpfully shows to Lucas/the viewers - I mean, I can get why his phone is blowing up, not gonna lie. No dick from what I can see, but you know. Suggestive. Pubes are clearly visible.

Lucas is like, I don’t want to see that! Well, I don’t think Lucas objects to naked men but I believe him in this instance because Mika is fulfilling the big brother role. Mika teases him about seeing what a man’s body looks like. Don’t worry Mika, in like a month Lucas is going to have very thorough knowledge of what a man’s body looks like.

Mika then asks for Lucas’ advice on a straight dude who wants a blowjob. Does he want it for himself or to do it to Mika? He helpfully imitates a blowjob that freaks out Lucas. I mean, it kinda freaks me out, I had war flashbacks to that grapefruit technique video. (If you have not seen that video, all I’m going to say that it is highly NSFW, not to be watched in public or if you have a heart condition, and I’m sorry.)

Mika is like, if you want to suck dick, you’re not that straight. Lucas is like, well, maybe he wants to try. Maybe that guy is just curious! HMMM Lucas, interesting train of thought. I’m sure you have no personal investment in this debate whatsoever. Mika helpfully shows Lucas’ a picture of the “curious” guy’s butthole. That Mika, being so helpful today.

Lucas gets up because he doesn’t want to spend his weekend looking at naked guys. Well, maybe not guys, plural. Again, in about a month you’re going to look back on that comment and laugh, bro.

Mika and Lisa agree that Manon was funnier. Lmao, I kinda love how they’re so unimpressed with Lucas.

Clip 2 - Light and dark

Lucas walks into school on Monday morning and … goes through an attendance book? He didn’t even hesitate, this guy does not give a single shit, does he? He’s just going to grab love by the balls. The camera puts us in Lucas’ POV by focusing from top to bottom like it’s imitating Lucas scanning the list, which is a good detail. Skam France had some POV issues I didn’t care for in previous seasons so this feels more carefully thought out.

Just as I’m noticing Raptor Alex’s name above Eliott’s, the man himself appears. Oh yeah, they’re supposed to be pals now. They have a short conversation where Lucas is like, WHOOPS, silly me taking the wrong book! When Alex asks for the register, Lucas snakes out and distracts him by congratulating Alex on him and Emma. Alex is like, “Huh? Did Emma tell you that?” Well, they were obviously making out at the party and hanging out together in their IG stories, so while it’s maybe an assumption that they are 100% a couple, there’s obviously something going on between them.

I’ve never really been like ... dying for Isak/P-Chris friendship or interaction post-S2, although I think it could have been interesting. Plus, Chris had graduated by S3 so there weren’t as many opportunities for them to interact. But it’s a nice follow-up here since Raptor Alex is still in school with them. (Was he supposed to graduate along with Charles last year, though? I totally forgot. It feels like those seasons aired forever ago.)

Bell rings, Lucas scampers off with the register. I was like, “Wait, did he even put it back?” until Alex calls after him for it, lmao. I like to imagine that it’s just gone forever, a casualty of love.

In the classroom, Lucas looks up Eliott on his phone. Unlike Isak, he has the wisdom to plug in earbuds before listening to anything.

He’s looking at a crowdfunding page for a project of Eliott’s. It’s noted that the project closed and that the funding was not reached, and that detail punched a hole in my heart. Instant poignancy, instant affection for Eliott. We don’t know the circumstances yet of why he didn’t meet his goal, and if it was at all related to his manic/depressive episodes - perhaps a nice bit of foreshadowing if it turns out they are related - but it’s automatically sympathetic to learn someone had a dream that went unfulfilled.

In a video, Eliott is talking about his project - a film called Polaris, about two characters and a tunnel. One is a boy, and one is not specified, (a boy, a girl, a creature) which I think is hinting at Elliott’s pansexuality, that he’s okay with any gender, it doesn’t matter to him. The second character does not leave the tunnel, because they are afraid of the light, and they meet the boy, who’s afraid of the dark. They can’t live in each other’s worlds so they chat at the border without ever seeing each other. They talk and fall in love but never meet until one of them decides to conquer their fears and go to the other’s world.

So there’s a lot of obvious symbolism here. Tbh, it’s pretty on the nose and I wish they’d toned it down just a smidge, since this is like … probably exactly what is going to happen with them for either their first kiss or their version of O Helga Natt (or both), but I still appreciate the effort a lot and am eager to see it in action. This is what I wanted from S3 remakes, for each of them to develop their own symbolism that fits their characters, because Isak and Even’s symbolism is so specific to them, their names and their story, that you inherently lose something when you transplant it to other versions of them. The concept of rebirth is really beautiful in a gay love story about coming out and being born as one’s authentic self; I think the idea of light and darkness being used in a similar way - especially in terms of a coming out narrative, being in darkness, coming into the light - could also be beautiful, and of course there are the ideas of having to be brave in order to live with each other, very relevant for an m/m couple in a homophobic society and for someone like Eliott who would be afraid to get close to someone due to his mental illness. It also works in the sense that neither of the characters in the film see each other until they get over their fears - both Lucas and Eliott have baggage and neither will really “see” or understand each other truly until they confront their respective issues.

Right now it seems like Eliott would be the one in the tunnel and Lucas is the one who’s afraid of the dark, and Lucas is going to have to leave his world to be with Eliott. Because well, this is supposed to be Lucas’ story, and the name “Lucas” is associated with light, or meaning “light-giver” or something similar. We know that one episode is called “the boy who was afraid of the dark” and that’s probably referring to Lucas since it’s his POV. At this point in the story, too, we aren’t supposed to know that Eliott is mentally ill, we don’t know he’s struggling, so we might also think that it’ll all be on Lucas to change in order for them to be together. But I think it’s also plausible that maybe they’ll switch roles over the course of the season, they both take turns in the light and in the dark. Maybe Lucas steps into the dark for the first kiss, conquering what he’s afraid of, then he steps into the light for the O Helga Natt equivalent. Or Lucas steps into the dark for the kiss, Eliott must step into the light for O Helga Natt. There are many ways it could go. But this is also what I like about them changing the symbolism, it leads to this kind of speculation.

I’d like to see Lucas and Eliott being a little more strongly contrasted, too, sort of like they’re ... polar opposites, eh? OK, not that corny and not that they need to be so different that they can’t get along. I just think it’d be interesting with the light and dark metaphor to have them be clearly different in some ways, personality-wise, arc-wise. I want to see their separate worlds highlighted at some point.

Also want to mention that you could perhaps apply this imagery to certain scenes already, like in the first clip of the season you had Lucas in the daytime, light reflecting off the water and through the trees, but he’s not really comfortable there, he’s alone and detached. Later that night, Lucas making out with Chloé in the hallway sort of put him in shadow (or that might be Skam France’s lighting in general, IDK). Might be a reach but it’d be interesting if those choices stacked up throughout the season and reflected the larger metaphor, when we see who’s playing what role.

Polaris itself is “the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor” so that’s another nice allusion to light in itself.

Imane shows up and scares the bejesus out of Lucas. She was going to give him the weed, but he ruined it by being a weenie. However, he redeems himself by expressing interest in the common room project and saying he’ll be at the next meeting. I wonder what changed his mind? Daphne’s enthusiasm? No matter, Imane must see some progress in Lucas, like he needs a reward for good behavior, because she decides to give him back the weed.

He’s grateful, but the teacher sees their drug exchange and wants to know what’s going on. When she asks to see what’s under the table, Imane whips out some tampons and says Lucas brought them to her. LMAO, that’s pretty funny.

She calls out the teacher for humiliating her in front of everyone, which is also funny, although I kind of feel bad for that teacher, lol. We haven’t seen her be a racist yet like Isak and Sana’s teacher, and I mean ... her students were passing drugs under the table, she wasn’t wrong about them being shady.

Arthur and Alexia laugh at them in the background. I want to know what’s going on over at that table! We can have two pairs of classroom buddies!

Lucas and Imane both laugh so that’s really the kickoff to their friendship. Tampons: saving the day, bringing people together. Tampax should make it into a commercial.

Clip 3 - Questionnaires

It’s the common room meeting, just the girl squad and Lucas, and they’re going over the questionnaires that people filled out. The consensus is that the common room sucks, and people make dirty comments when anonymous (literally the least surprising thing ever if you have ever seen a bathroom stall or any comments section on the Internet).

Daphne kicks out Emma when she gets a phone call and Lucas laughs along with the others. He seems way happier and more comfortable with the girl squad than with anyone else so far, and I think a lot of that is because there isn’t the pressure to maintain a typical hetero fuckboy persona with them as with the boy squad. They’re just girls engaging on a dorky project, so he can just relax.

Alex reads another questionnaire and the answers are all about Daphne. Lucas confirms that the phone number on the page is Basile’s. Daphne looks done with it, she’s caught him staring and drooling, she doesn’t get why he’s into her all of a sudden. Man, I’m already sick of Basile, he’s like Magnus from hell. Especially because Daphne is so not into it, and the fact that she’s noticed him salivating him over her makes it worse. I think it’s for comic relief but it quickly went to creepy territory, and I hate that they’ll likely hook up at some point. Please please don’t go there.

A lot of the questionnaires mention they dislike the mural, so I bet they’ll paint another one at some point, and I bet Eliott will have an idea that they use, being the artsy guy he is. Also, everyone wants them to throw a party so I’m sure that’ll be the setup for either the neon party or the Christmas party (whatever takes the place of those scenes).

Lucas reads another questionnaire that requests a vending machine (reasonable) and a nudist day once a month (not so reasonable) and I was gonna say it was Eliott’s form, because of the vending machine connection and probably some painful foreshadowing toward the hotel naked incident, but actually it’s Alexia’s form, LMAO. She wants the eye candy of naked guys and girls. A nice way to integrate her bisexuality since she’s into naked guys and girls.

I notice that Alexia has a little rainbow patch on her jeans, so I’m hoping that they’ve taken feedback from earlier seasons and will more directly address her sexuality. I know her ex Clara has been listed in the credits, so that’s very promising. I hope they keep it up and maybe Lucas can connect with her over being LGBT, well, G and B, respectively.

Emma comes back and complains that Alex thinks she’s been telling people they’ve been going out when they’re just hooking up, but Lucas does not care (even though he is responsible for giving Alex that impression) because Eliott walks by the window. Lucas hauls ass out of there and goes out to find him - give him some credit, Lucas is being pretty upfront about approaching Eliott, or going after what he wants so far. What is that gonna end up meaning to his overall character arc? I’m fine with that approach to Lucas’ character, I’m just curious how it will affect his overall characterization from beginning to end. Because Isak wasn’t a total wallflower, he did pursue Even in his own way, but I felt like because he also could be reserved and shy about Even, it was narratively significant when he took certain steps for clear reasons to his personal growth. (I think Lucas and Isak are maybe not all that different about their approaches so far, just slight ways that make it seem Lucas is bolder - like going up to Eliott at the vending machine himself, grabbing the register instead of walking by a list, running after Eliott instead of standing still and locking eyes with him).

Before Lucas can go stalking, he runs into the boy squad. Yann is like, were you in the common room? Spending a lot of time with the girls, eh? Like is he just being a dick about that, because Lucas is choosing the girls over the boy squad, or does he think Lucas wants to hook up with one of those girls? Or is this more about the common room project seeming stupid to him?

Of course Basile has to ask about whether Daphne is thinking about him, GOD please shut him up. Arthur tells him Daphne doesn’t care about him. The hero we need.

Lucas looks around the courtyard but no Eliott in sight. ur boys cockblocked u, bro

Chloé and Maria come up and invite the boys to their party on Friday. Maria’s fucking cute when she’s not puking, she does a little dance with the invitation. Lucas tries to say they have plans but Arthur’s like, no we don’t! We’re coming! No, Arthur, don’t say that, you know Basile is going to be a creep about it.

The squad gangs up on Lucas for saying no, because you’re always supposed to say yes to partying with girls, and it’s played for laughs with their reactions and stuff but really it is shitty how these guys don’t want to listen to their friend. I mean, let’s say situations were reversed and Lucas was a girl who said “this guy is stalking me.” We’d all be like, get away from that dude, you don’t have to spend time with him, right? Or we’d hope that girl’s friends would say so.

Lucas says Chloé has been clinging to him and it’s stressing him out, and Arthur’s like, I don’t get you, she’s into you, but you’re stressing out? Lucas is clearly stressed by this conversation and that he can’t tell the boys what’s up. All that pressure to like girls is draining him.

I think it is important to keep in mind that Isak also felt isolated from the boy squad at this point in the story, for similar reasons: he had a big secret that he couldn’t tell them, and he felt like he had to like girls to fit in with them, and they put pressure on him to hook up with girls, talk about girls, go to parties with girls. What I think is the big difference, and why it feels perhaps more noticeable with Lucas, is that Isak didn’t have the interaction with the girl squad other than Sana blackmailing him and Vilde annoying him, so we didn’t see him have this friendly outlet where he’s relaxed. In fact, the first time in his season we see him really start to relax and be himself is with Even. I think that contrast was valuable toward establishing Isak’s connection with Even, showing Even as someone who brings Isak out of his shell. But with Lucas, first he is able to laugh together with Imane - Isak and Sana had a moment but they weren’t like giggling together after Isak told off the racist teacher - and second he seems to be having a good time at the common room meeting. Then he goes to the boy squad and it immediately becomes tense. However, I don’t have a huge problem with Lucas laughing a bit with the girl squad here. It makes him seem somewhat less socially isolated, since he seems relaxed with them (even if this isn’t the deepest or most intimate interaction), but it still provides contrast to his interaction with his male friends. It would be nice if the story highlighted this a little more later on, as to why Lucas might feel more comfortable with the girl squad and not the boys when he’s closeted.

Clip 4 - Polaris

At home, Lucas watches the animated storyboard for Eliott’s Polaris video. A guy and another person of ambiguous gender meet just outside the tunnel in the rain and finally kiss.

I like that Lucas got to watch the project itself (or a storyboard of it) and be invested in it. That’s something I loved about Isak watching Even’s video and then watching R+J - he got to fall for Even watching him be funny and strange talking about his Cap/Putin video, and then he got to watch a movie that Even loved and that awakened these very emotional parts of himself. He got to see a great love in action and wish for that for himself, he got a glimpse of Even’s soul from the art Even loves. Lucas does something similar here in that he gets a glimpse of Eliott’s creative mind, something very personal, and fall for him further, and Eliott’s video is also about great love that Lucas feels that he wants in his own life, it chips away at that facade he’s put up, the lie he’s living. Good adaptation.

The only thing is I suspect that their first kiss or O Helga Natt is probably going to go heavily like that storyboard, if not exactly, which will likely be beautiful, but again, slightly on the nose for me. To be fair, obviously Isak and Even’s first kiss imitated Romeo + Juliet closely; I guess this being Eliott’s own creation/vision vs Even’s fanboying a film by his favorite director makes it a little more OTT, like if a scene from a novel I’d written came into my life, I’d feel weird and self-conscious about it. But that’s just me! I can also see why it’d matter to Eliott, to take this longing and make it a reality. But I think I’d rather just see him make his actual film, accomplish his passion project, than to recreate it in his own life. Maybe because, filming a beautiful love story and falling in love in real life fulfill two different parts of one’s self - one’s artistic creations are not substitutes for one’s social connections and vice versa - and Eliott’s unfunded film is a thing on its own that’s very poignant and begs to be carried to completion. Does that make sense? IDK, I’d like those big scenes to have similar themes and imagery but not like his storyboard come exactly to life. We’ll see how it goes.

I think it’s a little murky why Lucas searches for the “gay chat” - like is he trying to find Eliott there, or is he looking for any type of connection? Think it’s the former since that was shown more explicitly with Isak, but I guess you can say he’s just testing the gay waters.

The gay app that Lucas downloads features the picture of Skam France director David Hourrègue, much like Skam Italia had their male director in the gay app. (The directors look a tad similar, or is that just me?)

Lucas looks through pictures mainly of disembodied abs and bulges, until he stumbles upon Mika’s picture, and HA, that’s a REALLY good gag, hats off to Skam France. I remember being annoyed because they recreated the Jonas cunnilingus walk of fame in their season 2, except with none of the build-up that made the Jonas scene funny and emotionally resonant (with Eva’s reaction), so it lacked the impact and was just kinda there. This actually had some setup, good job.

Clip 5 - Two bros chillin’ at a bus stop

The boys are getting ready to go to Chloé’s party later and Basile starts talking about how he’ll get with Maria and I’m already so over this, please God let them talk about anything else. I get that this girl talk is establishing the overwhelming heteronormativity and pressure to pursue girls among these teenage boys, but like, let’s hear from Arthur about his hookup techniques, or if there’s a girl Yann likes, anything but Basile being a creep yet again.

He talks about calling himself “Daddy” to Maria as if I wasn’t already thoroughly horrified out by him. FUCK no.

And the guys are like, I thought you were all up in Daphne’s business? Basile basically doesn’t care, one girl or the other will do, ughhhh GODDDDD.

They tell Lucas that he’s paying for the beer because they’ve taken their turns paying. Lucas waits at the bus stop, texts his dad for rent and grocery money, then texts Mika for money (presumably to buy the beer). MEANWHILE, a figure in a familiar brown coat sits down. I can’t quite tell from the angle, is he sitting in the next seat or is there still one between them? You’d think Eliott would learn from the past not to leave space for any Chloés who might come along. (At the end of the clip I still couldn’t tell, lmao. Feel free to clarify if you have better spatial awareness than I do.)

It’s Lucas’ turn to get startled by a dude just staring at him intensely. They have some banter, Mika texts back that he’s working, Eliott notices something is up, Lucas explains that he has no money to buy beer for a party, so it’s Eliott’s suggestion to come back to his place and get the beer he has. Not Lucas asking him for help, like Isak did. Lucas has seemed somewhat more forthright in pursuing Eliott so this is a bit of a surprise, because a noticeable example of Isak asking Even for something was switched to Eliott offering. I guess you could say it’s Eliott’s development, if he’s the one in the dark and is holding himself back? We’ll see.

Clip 6 - Eliott confirmed weirdo

They go to Eliott’s place and Lucas checks out Eliott’s drawings. They’re cute. Dude really loves raccoons. They look at the drawings together and Eliott says they’re old and that he’s better at drawing himself now. Lucas is like … that’s you? LMAO, Eliott is so fucking weird, I kind of love him. He likes that raccoons have a mask. Well, we know Eliott has his own mask, so it’s fitting, I suppose.

Okay, French fans, I have to ask - what are the perceptions of raccoons in your culture? I found this article saying that the raccoon was introduced to France in 1966 and is considered a pest. They’re considered pests in North America, too, and spread disease, and sometimes they fall through ceilings, but like ... they’ve always been here, so there’s something about them that’s normalized, I guess?

Lucas asks if Eliott had to draw him what would it be. Well, that’s fucking forward. Eliott studies him and says he doesn’t know. So Eliott basically can’t figure out Lucas yet. What are the odds his later notes to Lucas will include his and Lucas’ fursonas? I know all Isaks are snakes but Lucas reminds me of a woodpecker, personally.

Or maybe they will both be raccoons for the sole reason that I want to start calling Lucas Little King Trashmouth.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY for Lucas to say “draw me like one of your French girls” or something along those lines, though.

Clip 7 - What ... the fuck ...

Lucas and Eliott smoke and talk. While Eliott gets up to change the music, Lucas checks his phone and he’s got messages from Chloé waiting for him.

Lucas blames his absence on the other guys lacking motivation and THAT is the least believable excuse I have heard in my fucking life, come on, Lucas. As if those dudes aren’t panting after those girls. Did you even meet Basile? If you talk to him for ten seconds you’ll already know the names of five girls he wants to fuck.

And of course he types this as Yann is trying to get in touch with him about the party, very much motivated to go.

One of these days an Isak just needs to lie in a plausible way. “Sorry I’m sick, I think I have food poisoning, I’ve been shitting my guts out for the last hour.” If you overshare and make it disgusting, they’re not going to question you further AND Chloé will probably back off and stop chasing you.

Lucas guesses that Eliott will be putting on some Chopin or Dad Jazz because the turntable makes him seem like a vintage collector but ACTUALLY Eliott is one weird motherfucker and I have to say, not even Even would pull this stunt this soon in their relationship, because what he puts on is dubstep and Eliott starts banging his head and jumping around in a completely unashamed way, and like, even Lucas in all his infatuation with this guy cannot help but stare at him like “what the fuck is going on.”

When Eliott asks about it Lucas responds, “....it’s cool!” in the same way I do when an older relative asks me what I think of The Big Bang Theory or the Minions.

Eliott asks Lucas about his tastes and Lucas is more into rock, like very famous bands, Nirvana, Rolling Stones, Beatles, The Clash. Eliott offers to put on Queen and luckily for the music licensing department Lucas is like, no, I like discovering new things. By which he means “I like discovering new boys.”

Eliott blows a perfect ring of smoke so we know he has more smoke skills than Lucas, going off Lucas’ messy shotgunning in episode 1, and then Lucas also starts to rock out to the music and I’m kinda feeling secondhand embarrassment but also, I guess this means they’re meant for each other?

Clip 8 - Piano man

They’re both sitting there stoned as fuck, Eliott doesn’t want to get up to change the record, so Lucas gets up and puts the record to the side. But instead of selecting a new one, he lifts the lid the piano and asks Eliott if he plays. Eliott says he can play the Star Wars theme - so he has Star Wars fanboying in common with Even, heh.

Lucas then sits down and starts to play perhaps too well for someone who’s probably pretty stoned by now (but I’ve never tried so who knows) and Eliott sits up. We get him smiling at Lucas, eyes shining. At one point Lucas looks behind him and seems to get encouraged by Eliott’s enchanted reaction.

Mmmm ... unpopular opinion, but while this is a really lovely scene, I kiiiinda wish they’d taken it down a notch or put the focus more on Lucas? Because there’s like ... not really any ambiguity about what Eliott feels after this, with his enamored stare at Lucas, and I think in context of the larger story, it takes a little tension out. I think with Even, the attraction was conveyed more in small looks and glances, and while I definitely thought he was always into Isak, from Isak’s POV you could see how the arrival of Sonja threw that into doubt, there was room to question whether Even really had feelings for Isak. Whereas here it’s like ... girlfriend or not, Eliott is smitten with Lucas, I don’t really feel that the ending reveal carries as much weight. I guess I’d put more focus on Lucas’ expressions as he plays, showing him getting into it and letting himself put down his emotional walls and express himself, showing him more open here with Eliott than he’s been so far anywhere else - this is his POV season, after all - and cut back on Eliott’s reactions to preserve a little mystery.

What I think is good about this moment is that Eliott got to share a part of himself, with his drawings (and his questionable taste in music), and unbeknownst to him his Polaris project, and now Lucas gets to share a part of himself with his piano playing, and so they’ve both let each other in to their artistic sides, perhaps establishing them both as creative types. It’s cool that we both see their respective interests. They might even complement each other’s, like Lucas’ music might end up serving Eliott’s vision for his film or something. And this was obviously a turning point for Eliott, he may have noticed Lucas on the first point of school but this is what took his interest in Lucas to another level as he saw Lucas just unleash this piano piece, catching him off guard with something beautiful.

When Lucas is done, Eliott says it was impressive, and that Lucas is surprising, and he likes surprising people. Well they’re just being blatant as fuck, aren’t they.

Unfortunately, the night must end as Eliott has people to meet and Lucas has a party to endure. Eliott walks Lucas out and says it was great, they need to hang out again, Lucas agrees. I like this moment a lot because it is somewhat more ambiguous - like on the surface this could be a platonic conversation, just wanting to hang out as friends, but there’s just a little too much intensity, a bit too much of a pause in the delivery, to think this exchange is so casual.

Just as Lucas is going Eliott adjusts his hair? I don’t even know what he was doing because I do not notice a single change in Lucas’ hairdo but Eliott sure did it as a memorable parting gesture. Lucas is internally screaming, probably.

Lucas goes out the door and outside he checks his phone, of course Chloé is pissed, Yann asks why Lucas is lying, Chloé has been posting “men are trash” messages on IG. I repeat: just tell them that you have unstoppable explosive diarrhea and people won’t be so quick to judge.

Behind him, Eliott leaves his place and Lucas sees him greet a girl with a kiss. OK now that is actually a pretty big change because Eliott does not know that Lucas saw him with a girlfriend and like, I always thought Even was overcompensating with Sonja when he started to compliment her and make out with her, but Eliott was just casually greeting his girlfriend with a kiss, without knowing Lucas was there. He’s not going to know Lucas knows about his girlfriend the next time they meet. If Lucas is irritated with him, he’s going to be like WTF.

There’s piano music at the end, and with its inclusion in the clip itself, I’m thinking they’re going to use a lot of piano on the soundtrack this season. They already did it in episode one.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas apparently ran away from Chloé at the bus stop, heh. She texted him to “subtly” see if he wanted to hang out and insinuated that she wanted to swing by Lucas’ flat some time. Or not subtly. Nothing about her is subtle. She’s wearing a sign that says BANG ME LUCAS.

Lol, as I mentioned above, Emma was hanging out with Raptor Alex and posting pics and stories on IG, I don’t know why they’re surprised people might think they’re an item after they also just hooked up at a party. Like not necessarily together-4ever but it’s not an unreasonable assumption they have a ~thing.

Lucas and Imane laugh over the tampon thing via text later, it’s a sweet moment. I wonder how they’re going to play the religion discussions since the two are already warming up to each other, Lucas being like, “Why are you religious?” in a confrontational way would kill the vibe.

Manon was supposed to see The Book of Mormon with Charles, then later she posted “Night in after all.” Dramaaaaa. Manon, fuck Charles and go by yourself. If some dude bailed on me that night I’d be like, whatever asshole, we paid to see these singing Mormons and I am going to goddamn see some singing Mormons. (Also, lmao at her dramatically posting that publicly, talk about a passive-aggressive swipe at Charles.)

Let’s talk about Basile, goddamn Basile, because he is by far my biggest issue with the season so far. Everything else is pretty solid, any other quibbles I have pale to my rapidly developing kneejerk GTFO when he appears on screen.

Some of the issue is that this dude is so one-note and in a really intense way, like you know when you’re a toddler and your parent hands you a pot to bang on and you hit it with a wooden spoon over and over? That’s Basile. There’s also just the element of overexposure. He tends to take over the boy squad scenes just because he wants to get laid. It feels like we’ve already had as much of Basile thirsting after Daphne and Maria in two episodes as we did Magnus crushing on Vilde spread over the whole season.

You might say Magnus was similarly desperate to hook up with a girl, and that’s true of course. And look, Magnus isn’t perfect and he said some dumbass shit during the season, but at the same time, there was a kind of weird innocence to him? Even when Vilde is complaining about the first year girls taking the older guys, and he says he’s available to fuck if she wants, it’s an outrageous statement but the way it’s played has a bizarre purity to it, like hey, this girl thinks there won’t be anyone for her to fuck, I should offer! With Basile there’s more sleaziness to his behavior, like dude has been on Reddit too long and has read too many forums about embittered men seeking to get laid.

I think some of it also is that a lot of Magnus was not actively and aggressively pursuing specific girls and bothering them for the most part - after that first offer to fuck Vilde, we don’t see him nagging her or crossing her boundaries, from what I recall? The flirtation gets mutual. He mentions stuff like the Vilde sex dream to the guys but it’s not like he’s telling that to her. With Basile he’s directly going after Daphne in a very persistent way.

One way they could redeem Basile is have his behavior act as a criticism of toxic straight boy bullshit, to go along with the heteronormative pressure. We still have a bunch of episodes to go so perhaps Basile will have character growth.

One thing I didn’t care for was them breaking up the Friday clip into multiple parts and airing them one after the other. I suspected that it was due to time restrictions and I was right, according to the screenwriter on IG. It’s too bad because I think it interrupts the flow of the story. With Skam, we got to see Isak himself change over the course of the afternoon - he went from shy and reserved to opening up and being able to laugh and joke around with Even, and the fact that it’s all one clip makes it more noticeable. The length makes it feel like the lazy afternoon Isak and Even spent getting to know each other. Not Skam France’s fault they had to break it up, just a shame because it felt choppier - watching it clip by clip meant I kept going back to what I was doing in real life and losing the mood instead of sinking into it. But I appreciate what they were trying to do when they couldn’t have a long scene and I think the ways they cut the scene were probably the best places to end/start the clips, tone-wise.

On that note, I’m trying to avoid the BTS commentary but I ended up reading it when I saw the reaction to the Skam France writer’s thoughts on Isak. I get what the guy was going for, Isak was more reserved and shy than Lucas is and Even was doing a lot of the initiating, although yeah, I think his description was worded in an oversimplified way - I don’t think Isak was entirely naive and innocent, more like inexperienced (which is a different thing) and he was certainly the hero of his own story, he was brave. Just because he wasn’t as outgoing doesn’t mean he wasn’t taking control of his own story - I’d say that’s part of what makes his character development so powerful, that because he is more repressed, his choices to kiss Even, to come out to his friends, to learn to be himself, have even more impact. But I don’t think Niels meant to bash Isak or anything, and it’s very clear from his notes that he loves and respects the original season. I think his main point was just like “Lucas is more upfront in his actions,” lol.

Though on a related note, the experience of watching the remakes has made me think that a lot of people don’t get who Isak is as a character, and especially have some extremely bad faith and unsympathetic readings of him. But that’s a rant for another time.

Tbh I think the behind-the-scenes notes about production stuff like “Axel wasn’t a trained pianist but he practiced hard for this scene” is fine and fun, it’s more the stuff that’s like “Here’s the interpretation of the scene itself” that I wish would wait until the season ends. But lmao, I’m just gonna try to avoid that stuff again.

I actually did like this episode. I’m not sure Skam France is ever going to be my favorite remake, because there’s something about the way it’s filmed that feels more slick and well, TV-like than is my preference, but I can definitely see that they’ve upgraded from last season, and that they’re trying hard to give this story its own spin. The Polaris symbolism is the biggest sign of that so far.

If there’s something I do wish we could get more of with Skam France, it’s subtlety? As a show it often feels more dramatic and this episode leaned heavier on the blatant romance, which might be a cultural thing, and I can absolutely get why people are more drawn to that. There’s plenty of TV shows and movies that I like that are not subtle in the slightest. I guess I’ve just been thinking that I wish the remakes would not be afraid to rely more on subtext for parts of this season, especially building up this relationship. Like there’s nothing blatantly “romantic” about the Evak version of this clip - everything is heavily show don’t tell, and we have to read into the littlest moments, the shared glances. How Even smiles to himself for just a brief moment after Isak compliments his drawings, or how Isak gets flustered after Even teases him for not knowing who Nas is (because he wants Even to think he’s cool) and how Even says that they’ll listen to Nas later - the implication that Isak is going to stay a while and Even will share this with him. “We can’t go back now” is in relationship to the cheese toasties, except you know, it’s not really about the cheese toasties. With Lucas and Eliott, it’s really easy to pick out that Eliott is flirting when he’s flat-out telling Lucas how special he is and how he’s intrigued by him, and sure, that’s where they’re going with Eliott’s character and making him more direct but it’s also related to the overall method and effectiveness of the storytelling. (I mean ... having Eliott be like “You are this-and-that, Lucas” is the definition of telling, not showing, lol.) And I completely get why that works for a lot of people, it doesn’t NOT work for me, but the understated stuff is what makes me watch clips a dozen times to pick up on it all, the subtext is what gets under my skin. My favorite moment was their goodbye at the door because it was a typical friendly exchange on the surface but with more going unspoken, and I felt that on the screen. So not to whine, because I did legitimately enjoy the Lucas/Eliott interaction, those are just my preferences. (The show is not made for me personally etc etc., cultural differences etc etc. I’m aware.)

I am finally warming up to Lucas, after two seasons. I really don’t think that I didn’t care for him before just because his character was closed off and snaky, because I’ve liked every other Isak in the first season of their show even though they’ve also kept secrets and done shady shit. I think they’ve just found a way to portray his character more effectively after having to copy + paste S1 and S2. They can make the character feel more organic. Also, not gonna lie, it felt like they cut back on the serial killer looks (partially because Lucas has more smiley and relaxed moments) so A+ work, Axel.

Also, knowing that they had to redo the first two seasons so closely doesn’t really change my opinion of the quality of the first two seasons, but it does make me more sympathetic toward the cast and crew for having to color inside the lines, so to speak.

Eliott is a fucking weird ass human being and I’m really feeling his character. They made his absurdly good looks more approachable by turning him into a dubstep-stanning furry, and I am here for whatever shit they tell us about him next.

I also think think the use of music was much better than in previous seasons. There were some very deliberate choices in this episode, obviously, but it felt like they’re learning to use silence more effectively and not shoehorning the soundtrack as much.

Feel free to chime in or correct me about French culture/translation/other issues.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #skam france reactions

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astarlightmonbebe · 5 years

Text

50 Questions Tag

tagged by: @whoayoung thank youu (and sorry this took so long)

1. What takes up too much of your time? I tend to get wrapped up into random things that end up pulling my time away, like looking for something I can’t remember the name for. Probably tumblr or watching kdramas in general though.

2. What makes your day better? It depends on the day, really. A stress free school day, or a school day where I get good results make me happy.

3. What’s the best thing that happened you today? Well, I finished what I was making and then everything got messed up and deleted so that was Not Good, but other than that...I saw SHAZAM! and it was a fun watch :).

4. What fictional place would you like to go? Hmmm, this is a tricky one. Camp Half Blood, maybe?

5. Are you good at giving advice? I don’t really think I am.

6. Do you have any mental illness? Not that I know of, no.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? I haven’t, and I don’t think I particularly want to.

8. What musician inspired you the most? There have been a lot of musicians that have really stuck with me, honestly. NF is one of them, but from Kpop I’d have to say Han Jisung, definitely, as well as Fan Chengcheng, Namjoon, JR, Hyunsuk...a lot of the people I love and bias are people who have really made me think about things, and inspired me.

9. Have you ever fallen in love? No, not yet at least.

10. What’s your dream date? I would like something like going to see the cherry blossoms, taking a walk at night after dinner or something like that.

11. What do others notice about you? I wouldn’t say I’m a very noticeable person. People notice that I’m quiet..mostly, I guess.

12. What is the annoying habit you have? @theserendipityofjimin has informed me that my annoying habit is when I get lost in thought and subconsciously tilt my head and walk faster, meaning that I’m not paying attention to the other person lol.

13. Do you still talk to your first love? Never had one, so I gotta say no.

14. How many ex’s do you have? You can’t have an ex if you’ve never dated.

15. How many songs are on your playlist? I have many playlists, all with varying numbers of songs.

16. What instruments can you play? I can play piano.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Uhhh...kpop people?

18. Where would you like to go before you die? I want to go to Thailand.

19. What is your zodiac? Zodiac...cancer.

20. Do you relate to it? Eh, sometimes. I don’t really believe in horoscopes and stuff, but it’s fun to read sometimes. Everyone says cancers are very emotional, but I’m really not.

21. What is happiness to you? Quiet, music, flower petals, laughing late at night, the world snowing outside your windows, aesthetic scenes.

22. Are you going through anything right now? Not at the moment. Life in general has had a lot of ups and downs this year, and it’s like it’s out of my peripheral vision, waiting to come back...but right now I’m good, happy.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? I don’t consider any decisions I’ve made very bad.

24. What’s your favorite store? Bookstores.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? I think you should keep the baby if you knew there would be consequences-like if you have unprotected sex, you knew there was a chance of pregnancy. But for cases like assault and rape, I think the woman should abort if they want to.

26. Do you keep a bucket list? Nope.

27. Do you have a favorite album at the moment? A favorite album? Not at the moment, though I am enjoying Cle: Miroh.

28. What do you want for your birthday? Uhhh Monsta X concert tickets, but that’s not gonna happen, so rip.

29. What are most peoples first impressions of you? That I’m a quiet, shy girl. Honestly can’t blame them; I’m super introverted.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? Online, most people think I’m 16. Sometimes (ahem @noir-deserves-better think I’m 18-20).

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? Charging in my dining room.

32. What word do you say the most? I say ‘okay’ or ‘yeah’ the most.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? For right now, like my age or a year older. In the future, I could go up to like three years I think.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? Uhhh nobody younger than a year. Maturity levels are very different even between single years at this age.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? A writer, which is what I want to be. Not a lot of people tell me what job would suit me though.

36. What’s your favorite music genre? Kpop, but also alternative pop/rock, or more indie style music.

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I haven’t been to any other country, but I would probably stay in a nice part of the U.S. because I have my rights and all.

38. What is your current favorite song? Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray.

39. How long have you had this blog for? I got this November 2017, so almost a year and a half now.

40. What are you excited for? Spring break.

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Listener. I am one of few words.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Whellp...it WAS finishing my fmv and doing all the filters and uploading it UNTIL shotcut decided to be stupid (I’m so salty right now you guys don’t even know).

43. What do you want for Christmas? I can’t think of anything I really, desperately want.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? Probably Chinese class.

45. On a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 7.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? I see myself working as some kind of writer, or maybe training for something in the psychologist field (I don’t know if my constitution is strong enough though rip ;-;).

47. When did you get your first heart break? My heart hasn’t been too broken yet.

48. At what age do you want to get married? Around 30 probably. It all depends on if I find someone I want to marry though.

49. What career did you want to have as a child? An author! I have a really distinct memory :,); I still want to be one.

50. What do you crave now? My lost fmv file. Just kidding: ice cream.

I’m going to tag @noir-deserves-better @theserendipityofjimin @kihyunuu @becauseitsmystory @my-star-jjong @lindzaylove

#tag #my tag #tagged #i'm sorry for all the fmv salt i'm just so pressed #i really always tag the same people--#oh well

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theteapotofdoom · 5 years

Note

1, 14 and 8 for the writer ask thing :3

Hello! Thank you! :D

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

Hmmm … technically I was very young because although I never published them, I think I was writing fanfiction before I even knew what fan fiction was. I’ve literally been writing Canon x OC my whole life because I was a thirsty child who had a lot of feelings for her favorite characters (looking at you prequel Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme … having Natalie Portman AND Ewan McGregor in the same movie opened a lot of doors for me as a child …)

When I was 14, I proceeding to rewrite the entire movie Inception while adding my original character in it. Never published it of course AND NEVER WILL but I guess you could say it was kind of the first?

But when it comes to actual fanfictions, something about a pairing that I publish, Something Good with shigadabi was actually my first ever! So 21!

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

Titles are always a big thing for me because I’m out there, ready to post and suddenly AO3 is asking me a title and I’m like “A what now?”

For Something Good, I had many other ideas a lot more fancy and complicated, but in the end, I thought I had to go for something very simple that wouldn’t wear off because I knew it was going to be at least three chapters (rgbrugb look at us now …). So I decided to focus on what I wanted the story to be about: the relationship between Tomura and Dabi, and how they both help each other to become better and happier persons, and also about their group of friends and family, and how ultimately this story is as much about self-love as it is about romantic love. Basically, a story about … well, something good. Something they can’t really decide what it is for the bigger part of the story, but it’s here and it’s just … good. So yeah!

For other one-shots: And They Kissed Again it simply was the last line of the fic, and I thought it really fitted a story about reincarnation, Soothing Waters because it was about Dabi calming and helping Tomura while they were both in a bath, and The Way They Feel was kind of a pun because it’s both about emotional feelings and physical sensations!

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

SO MANY THINGS!!! I’m not honestly one of those people who takes inspiration everywhere … In another question, I mentioned that Something Good was very inspired by a video game called Night In The Woods, not for the plot or even the characters (although there is a little bit of Greg in Toga and a little bit Mae in both Dabi and Tomura) but more for the general vibe and atmosphere if it makes sense. It’s a game with a super soft color palette, chill music, and designs out of a children book and I kind of had all these things in mind while writing. It’s also a great story about friendship, mental illness and growing up which are all things very important in Something Good.

I’m also basically just tossing every single possible rom com trope in there …

But yeah honestly I’m the kind of person that takes inspiration in EVERYTHING to the point where I always when to start a new story because I was inspired by something I watched or read recently. As a whole, I take inspiration everywhere like real life or songs, but I mostly take from other pieces of fiction because I get very easily emotionally invested …

Ask me fic questions!

#fic: something good #writing #fic questions

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fancydancing · 6 years

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Virtue Moir - The musical

Let’s take a little musical journey starting with Stay and ending with YRMW.

I don’t have an objective bone in my body when it comes to this topic, so I let other people do the talking. (I might have only picked comments that fit my narrative, but I’m only human, give me a break!)

**I put this together very quickly, so please forgive any mistakes**

**Also, it’s very long, but you have to read to the end to get the whole story**

Let’s begin...

Stay - Rihanna

Song meaning according to VM:

“It’s really about this couple who’s madly in love and long for each other, but they keep missing each other and can’t get their timing quite right to make it work in the end.”

And oh yeah, didn’t Scott say that this was their story? Hmmm...

According to anonymous experts on the internet:

I think it is about two people that are completely in love, but are dealing with their own personal battles. He is the one that is "broken" (maybe mental illness), but she was in a place in life that she needed to be saved from emotionally. He is the only one that she feels can help her fill this emptiness she has been living with. He says its not much of a life she's living, and that she never sees the light. Life isn't something you take, it is given. Live it, don't just let it pass you by. He wants her to get out and live and stop being depressed. She needs help being there for him, it is dragging her down, but she loves him and wants to help him get through it. Round and around and around they go... meaning they keep dealing with this same battle over and over and over again trying to help each other, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. All they know, is they need the other and can't get through it alone, but it's a huge struggle trying to keep helping the other and pulling each other up.

The two each came into the other's life for some helping reason. They came to realize that they were both in need of help and helping. An unanticipated affection grew for one another. They end up genuinely caring for each other and not just serving themselves. The concept is foreign to them; they are stripped "naked" of pretenses...beyond mental or physical desires...they care for someone outside theirselves. It is a new unadulterated and pure place, and they are trying to understand it.

Into the Mystic - Van Morrison

Most interpretations say it’s about the end of a long journey and beginning a new path into the unknown. All I know is ST choreographed it themselves in his (or hers?) kitchen.

Anonymous sources say:

“Into the Mystic.... Into the the unknown without fear with your soulmate at your side”

"At the very end Van sings: too late to stop now, suggesting that the song also describes an act of love."

Good Kisser - Usher

This song left me screaming, “TMI! TMI!” I want to know whose idea it was to skate to this song? And did VM understand what Usher was talking about? Because I really never paid too much attention to the lyrics although I’d heard the rumors.

And did they perform this IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS?? (no pun intended)

That’s all I have to say about this song.

How Will I Know - Originally by Whitney Houston

I thought this comment summed it up pretty nicely:

“She still is unsure of how he feels, she doesn't know. He hasn't made it clear. Gave her reassurance or made any plans. She's sick of waiting by the phone for nothing to happen. If he wants her in his life hell have to communicate the good ol fashion way. If not than he obviously doesn't. She wants to marry him but if that's never possible she would settle for SPECIAL friends or even just good friends. She just wants to be part of his life and world like she has made him part of. She's giving him another chance and if he doesn't take it soon she can't promise the opp will always be available. He hurt her. She still tried. She wishes he would be comfortable with her as she is with them. They got along great and it was so easy. That's what doesn't make sense to her. There's no need to have fear. She's made her case. Hopefully she'll know sooner than later.”

What's Love Got to Do With It - Originally by Tina Turner

“I think that this song is about a woman who doesn't want to fall in love again with an obviously attractive man due to a bad relationship experience in the past.”

***** “This man is obviously (sexually) very attractive (his touch makes her "pulse react") but for her own "protection" she says to him 'nope sir', a guy won't cause me a "broken heart" (again).” **** “In the refrain she just asks a general question about the value of love at all, she concludes that love in real life is not what it is suppopsed to be according to ones imagination and /or dreams. At first you fall in love with an attractive man but than your heart will be broken (he will cheat or misstreat you). But she also states that she isn't all happy about her beeing reluctant to love because she actually doesn't really want to spend her life alone. "But I have to say... It scares me to feel this way" because even though she has made bad experience in the past, she still has hope that she will find the right one finally. On the other hand it might be interpreted as a song about a woman who uses to have sex with the guys but doesn't wand to start deeper relationships with them because real love can turn out painful. (She likes to have a 'higher pulse rate' but doesn't want to have a 'broken heart'”

***

“As for the meaning of the song,i think it's simply about how the word love is just thrown around in a relationship,without any real thought,I saying you love someone,doesn't mean anything if you continue to hurt them,and the guy in the song is just using the word love to make up for all the hurt,which is just unacceptable to the woman.Now i'm a guy but I agree with this song because I feel that also if a girl hurts a guy and tries to make up for the hurt by using the word love,it's meaningless and unacceptable.”

Sorry - Justin Bieber

Co-writer Julia Michaels:

“I immediately thought back to the time that my boyfriend and I broke up. Three months later he came back to my door and was like, ‘I’m really sorry.’ Everyone can relate to fucking up and asking for mercy.

We were just trying to capture that moment in a relationship or a particular moment in your life where you realize you made a mistake and you’re finally ready to admit it and apologize.”

Latch - Sam Smith

I’ve already done a song analysis on this:

https://scottandtessasactinglessons.tumblr.com/post/172574202160/music-over-analysis-101-latch-so-im-going-to

Tessa said this:

The whole program wants to show fragility and strength, especially to find strength in fragility, and always have to pay and get in a relationship In the first part of the music, Scott lifts me up and supports me with the body. In second part their relationship becomes complicated, full of struggle, resentment and confusion. But in the end they are happy, free and in love. “We have more specific story line, but we wouldn’t tell about it” said Virtue with a smile. “Then we want to go on and see, how this relationship can unfold. We will work on it with our art director.”

From the internet experts:

“Latch's message is never let go love, of key-to-lock (or latch). The video shows couples who barely met becoming intimate. By just focusing on the instant and choosing couples who can't be that man-to-woman latch-to-key lifelong relationship, the video basically misses the point of the lyrics. The meaning of Disclosure Latch can be found in the keywords "shackle" "wrapped" "locked" or even Latch. The words evoke things that bind two together in an unbreakable union. All of these go tied with the most frequent word in the song: "Never." (21 times!) The love Latch sings about is a love never supposed to end, a lock that will never let go. This is the way love is meant to feel. And the feelings are meant to make us live a commitment of never let go.”

Come what May - Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman

This doesn’t really need much analysis. The meaning is pretty obvious. But here’s some expert analysis anyway:

“...but rather it is saying that not matter what other extraneous stuff is going on in their lives, they are saying it doesnt matter, hence "come what may" because they are still going to love each other no matter what else occurs...”

“The song plays an important role in the film. When the forbidden strong and close romantic relationship between Christian and Satine has been discovered, Christian pens this romance song and includes it in the musical he is currently writing. Each time either of them sings this song, they can secretly declare their equally deep and true romantic love for each other.”

Long Time Running - Tragically Hip

It appears that no one really knows how to interpret this song. I read interpretations ranging from it’s a song about divorce and depression to people who are planning to use it at their wedding.

Now I could go into what I think but it’s already been done beautifully by wishfulwannabee:

“Not only have they both said that they relate to this program and the song mirrors their relationship, but let’s take a look at both the program and the song. If you look at the lyrics, the song is actually quite heartbreaking and follows two people in love who can never seem to find a good way to get together. The lyrics changes from “it’s a grave mistake” to “it’s the same mistake” to “it’s a great mistake”, so obviously the song evolves with the relationship. “We don’t go anywhere, just on trips” hits me bc it’s like they test out the waters of the relationship but it never goes anywhere. It’s honestly a song filled with so many emotions and a messy relationship that wants to be somewhere but stumbles along the way to getting there. Now let’s just briefly talk about the program (which they choreographed themselves btw). For me, it seems that the “characters” are trying to chase after each other. There is never a moment where they both want each other. Whenever one is chasing, the other isn’t looking their way. It seems like there was never a good time for them to both want each other the same way at the same time. Until the end when they come together the way that they started. In unison. On the same page.”

http://wishfulwannabe.tumblr.com/post/172369040350/ok-but-we-dont-talk-about-tessa-and-scotts-long

Here are some other thoughts from the internet experts:

“Part of what makes The Tragically Hip so unique as artists is that their work appeals on many different levels simultaneously, much like the song “Long Time Running.” It’s a beautiful, gut-wrenching ballad even if you don’t listen to the lyrics. If you pay any passing attention to them, you add a hint of whimsicality to the proceedings. But if you dig deeper, and if you have a background that’s at all rooted in the same influences or spaces that permeate the band’s storytelling, then you’re granted a song that encompasses regret, longing, heartache, and a clever undercurrent of Canadiana and esoteric references.”

***

“I believe this speaks on history. Likely as with everyone there were dark times endured with having to live through a break in relationships in some points in his life. I feel like he had a core feeling long ago he had a path he was meant to follow. Part of path with his huge heart we could see was to help bring ppl together( through music ). In all respects the song is looking so strong to become one of Canada’s treasured love songs about perseverance of various aspects of life in sickness as well as love and or success. And a heartfelt turned gently into a eulogy as well that’s sang with such perfect emotion you can feel the pain exhaustion as well accomplished goal - happy with how you lived out your life.”

You Rock My World - Michael Jackson

The experts say:

“MJ is saying that this girl he loves has a profound positive affect in his life, and sexual satisfaction…and he is willing to give everything he owns to keep her.”

“Michael has finally found someone who makes him feel whole. This girl obviously feels like the missing link he has been waiting for.”

“He goes on to describe a truthful love because this girl is herself. He never wants her to change and he tells her that in these lyrics.”

“Michael never thought he would find a Love like hers that is so uncommon, and he feels lucky and honored to be able to have it.”

And finally, this from a website that was just some random guy ranting about GOD and SEX and SIN and SEX and SPIRITUALITY and SEX and the DEVIL and SEX with a little LUST thrown in for good measure.

“YOU ROCK MY WORLD is marinated in sexual juices from its very beginning. It was conceived in the steamy rock-pop culture of the late Michael Jackson.

So then, THE ORIGINAL AND REAL MEANING of YOU ROCK MY WORLD comes from Michael Jackson being rocked into a SEXUAL FRENZY. You flip me out! You rock my boat. You get it on! You send me over the top! You take me beyond all limitations! You break all barriers! You rock me into rapture! Give it to me! Come on girl!

“I am reminded of the words of Shakespeare:

“LUST IS THE EXPENSE OF THE SPIRIT IN A WASTE OF

SHAME. IT SQUANDERS THE ENERGIES OF LIFE.”

But this guy might be on to something because he closes with this:

“THAT MAN WHO IS ADDICTED TO SENSUALISM AND

FLESHLY APPETITES WILL HAVE LITTLE

APPETITE FOR THE SPIRITUAL WHICH

IS SEASONED BY VIRTUE.”

What a perfect way to wrap this little story up!

So to recap:

We’re totally in love, but we keep missing each other and/or we just can't make it work (Stay).

We’re ending this long journey (competitive skating) and we’re moving into the unknown (separate lives - Into the Mystic).

Ummm, detour! Usher singing about oral sex! PERFECT! The children in the audience won’t understand! (Good Kisser).

I love you, but I don’t know how you feel about me. (HWIK).

I love you, I want to be with you, but I’m afraid of getting hurt. (WLGTDWI).

I screwed up, I’m sorry, it’ll never happen again (Sorry).

Yes, we’re scared, but we love each other and we’re going to take a chance and commit to being together (Latch).

We’re declaring our true, deep romantic and secret love for each other. And no matter what happens, we’ll always be together (Come What May).

Now, we’re wrapping up our skating career and we’re finally on the same page and our current relationship was worth the wait (Long time running).

Now, everything is perfect, this is what we’ve been waiting for and yes, the sex is amazing (YRMW)!

Phew!

#virtuemoir #Scott and Tessa #music #analysis

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deuce-duce · 4 years

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Hmmm where should I begin I think ill start with explaining a little bit about why I initially started writing this thing. Primarily because I was tired of being silenced while essentially people destroy my identity and character. But not in my local town or where I work... but the entire nation. Thats fucked up! No matter how you want to look at it. Its crazy that in todays society its OK to spew hate lies and deceit and everybody goes with flow... but the moment you start saying listen Idk what you have been told or what the latest gossip is but I can assure you its probably not what you think it is. As soon as that happens the whole world loses their minds...

The other reason I started writing is because although I don't necessarily want to put myself on a pedestal I think I might be a pretty rare individual. Over the course of the last four years with the show in full effect and the constant psychological and sexual abuse im put through is in full swing I haven't suffered from a TBI making it possible for me to figure this whole thing out without having my conscience memories taken from me to. That being said this is journey for me as well learning about myself and what this has done to me... whether you believe me or not that really is unimportant to me I just think that this story documented. Along with societal constructs and the amount of fuckery we actually involve ourselves in, without ever doing any research! And blaming the individual for telling the truth asking you to stop helping because your just making things worse. I'll explain further down what I mean.

Now I don't think im all that brilliant really i mean I think I am but in reality what you think of yourself is important but really doesn't mean shit if your told how dumb you are everyday or treated like shit because there's things you just can't do. Not that your incapable of doing them or don't know how to do them but because you literally suffer from multiple mental health conditions the primary condition being a dissociative identity. That being said, there is no medication no cure or any type of hope to ever not have to be worried about dissociating. The fucked up part about it is... is that my dissociative state isn't like normal dissociative states. Most dissociations can happen at anytime during the day or anytime the environmental triggers come into play and so its easier to diagnose and get the help one needs. Mine unfortunately from the hypnosis event that I explained to you is literally during the most vulnerable moments in anyone's life the one place your supposed to feel safe or at least do everything you can to keep yourself safe. But in no way am I able to do that... mine is triggered while I'm sleeping and its not just any trigger but is a trigger that another human being has to consciously do in a certain way to get me to dissociate.

I know for a fact that I don't dissociate on my own or sleep walk or anything like that because I lived with brittany for 4 years and would constantly ask her if I did anything out of the ordinary while I was sleeping. She would yell at me and tell me no &^%$# you barely move in your sleep! And so I would believe her because im sure she was telling the truth... later she would use this as a reason to start her plotting saying I didn't trust her and I would blame her for things like not keeping me safe... and i don't know what else but I'm sure it wasnt good. You don't create this type of carnage in someone's life because you have good memories with that person... or maybe she just didn't realize what exactly it was I was running from to begin with...

What I've just explained to you is to help you understand how fucked up I really am... even after being with someone for at least a couple years nothing going on... I still found myself doubting and worrying about not being safe. And thinking that I had been betrayed yet again. Even though nothing had happened... its fucking crazy... crazy sad. I guess at this point I really had no idea how it all worked.. so you can understand my speculation. But now that I know it makes things different at this point though I don't trust a soul probably never will again.

Another good example of this was I was jn a state where I was still well known...! But didn't have to deal with the sexual and physical abuse just the nental... and ill tell you it literally took me a month to successfully hit on a woman and get her number and read signs properly her friend was telling us we needed to get married and that we were perfect for eachother... I thought so too! We got along really well and damn she was sexy! Whew!! Unfortunately I was running out of money I was staying at an air bnb and needed a job... out of all the places I applied to the only place u heard back from was the place I never wanted to return to... I just thought that maybe things would be different this time... unfortunately they werent... did my best to meet a woman and start dating but she knew who I was and the people who fucked with me and so she started playing games... instead of supporting me and doing with me what I needed to keep myself safe she started saying well were not having sex evertime we hang out setting expectations of us forming a relationship... and not just something casual. The only way I'm ever going to be in a relationship again is by that person who won't play silly games like I mentioned earlier... the last time we hung out she was dressed in a tight leather outfit makeup done and kept turning me down and saying I couldn't touch her after we had already had sex on our first date... but she wanted me for herself and was playing games although she was turning me down... she was like im just going to go to the bar after I drop you off and find something to do... im assuming somebody was more of the case... after that I didn't talk to her again.

So I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with addiction and what happens to a person psychologically during the event of getting intoxicated... I'll elaborate a little bit. It is documented that when an addict is getting high that their adrenaline and endorphins are higher while seeking out and preparing the drugs then when they actually get high. i think this is because of the chasing the first time paradigm. where one continues to get high because they are chasing the feeling they got when they did it for the first time... which never happens so they continue doing more and more until they either die or throw their lives away. this led me to think hmm if that's how the brain works I think it might be the same way for those experiencing pts. stemming from a lifetime of trauma. so if you believe....!!! what i have said already which i doubt but its really of no concern to me but just know i tried to tell you and explain knowing i did all i could is all i can do... back to what i was saying... if the brain works this way when it comes to addiction then id have to tell you that it is the same when it comes to pts.. So listen to this, the other side thinking to themselves.. although they probably wont admit it to the general public but this is their logic, ok...? well we know what we have done to him... and... yea... it is pretty messed up... but if he would just try... then it might be different and we would stop... haha well that's like saying the addict chasing their first time is actually going to achieve it even though its impossible because of all the damage they have already done to their minds and bodies... the only way one can get as close as possible to achieving that first high again is to abstain for a long enough time to establish and restore the chemicals that have been depleted over the course of the addicts drug use history. just like you cant expect me to do something that has caused me severe consequences, even though what I did was right... and acceptable and essentially the keys i need to free myself from the cage that i find myself in... today. that wasn't the case then. and with everything else being the same as then all i can do is associate the two and not screw myself over again and face the possibility of getting my head kicked in. as delusional as that might be its the truth. and with everything being the same as it was then I'm supposed believe that the things that's supposed to set me free isn't a trap haha good luck but if you want to know my criteria it would be doing the right thing!! lets see if you can figure it out!! oh and this doesn't only go for the woman ill be with but also for anyone trying to help me in any way shape or form.... sorry but its the only way i can be certain your not part of the machine!

not only that but people keep on keeping on with inflicting the psychological trauma on me getting me written up at work for harmless comments but as an employee at this business I can not give anyone a compliment while in uniform so please refrain from hoping ill make an effort at my job. I got in trouble for telling a girl she was gorgeous I didn't know she was only 16 but its not like i was asking her to fuck or coming at her in any type of sexual manner but she is friends with the woman causing all of this... saying I need to stop running my mouth. she even went as far as to say to me man that customer has a nice ass and me saying it doesn't compare to your yours and her saying my ass is flawless... then telling on me saying I kept telling her she had an ass of a goddess.. GTFO HAHA my boss started laughing like so you didn't say that... fuck no! I said what I told you I said. she's like alright oh and then apparently you cant tell another employee that they have pretty eyes either just a heads up! but its cool I'm over it I just cant believe I bring out the evil in so many people like man WHO AM I?? WHAT AM I NOT BEING TOLD?!?! I could care less honestly but I'm glad you go to such lengths to try and make my life miserable... i could only imagine what it must be like to actually be miserable... UGH... that would...suck.... i think a lot of this stems from my supervisor giving me three flat tires in one night and then acting like oh... did i give you a flat tire...??? then telling me your not that smart.... never said i was bro but instead turned it around on him telling him dude... don't downplay yourself... your smart!! over and over again. i told one of the other supervisors that i didnt think the guy that had been training me liked me and these were the reasons why but she is also a distraction. and told him exactly what i had said.

just so you guys know anytime that there is someone who likes me and i actually have a chance with. they have someone that is hotter then me maybe smarter or appeals more to the persons wants and desires through manipulation simply to keep them occupied while im in the area and then after i leave and then the person that would have been perfect for me gets dumped and is left all alone again... kind of like whe. Brian started dating brittany after we broke up...

another thing i should put into perspective is that what's wrong with me is a byproduct of child molestation and abuse that being said its ok to prey on something that was created to protect myself because now I'm an adult and i hold the keys... too bad my hands are missing!! since i was 6 when i started dissociating that means every time I'm in that state i go back to being a 6 year old boy... making those who take advantage of my split essentially child molesters... no matter how old i am!!

So how do you diffentiate the good from the bad...?? The bad people are the ones proclaiming and contantly trying to make others believe im gay. I mean i could really care less and tell you myself I'm gay but primarily because of the reasons I mentioned above. The funny thing is the bad people will be the first to be like we should help him... just so that they can be like see he's gay!! Wtf cares... the fact that they go out of their way to prove something that people have all ready seen with their eyes... is a little bit over kill don't you think?? J.s. be vigilant!

The funny thing about all of this is that the same process ensues from community to community and so for you to be led like sheep and ignore the guy going through it all is sorry for saying fucking Stupid!! But hey its cool

The other thing I can't understand is how you can walk by drive by and go out of your way to tell me how dumb or stupid or gay I am but not one person can be like yo whats up im such and such did you write this or that...? Really! But I'm supposed to do what none of you do!? Really cool keep going with that ill be thee idiot! The gay idiot! Thanks for reminding me though!! Maybe one day you'll be as gay as me!!

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not-poignant · 7 years

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So I am super in awe of your ability to write so much, let alone so well. Do you have any tips for getting into a writing habit? / How do you keep yourself accountable for updating and the like?

Hmmm

In the past I’ve generally said it’s not a good idea to learn how to write as much as I write, because being this prolific is usually a sign that something else isn’t going so great in your life BUT ACTUALLY I do have some tips lol.

Feel free to ignore them. These will not apply to everyone, and you are not doing anything wrong if you’re not already doing them or just plain don’t like them.

But here’s how I do it:

* I have a monthly wordcount. It used to be daily, but this didn’t work because I have chronic illnesses that sometimes make it impossible for me to write several days in a row. My monthly wordcount is 25,000 words per month. Last year, and for the years previous, it was 50,000 words a month. Yes, I did a NaNoWriMo every month for three years. Do I recommend this to others? No.

* I don’t add up my words per day, I add them up per chapter. That’s satisfying for me. But it also makes me feel accountable re: my writing in that, I can’t make 25,000 words if I work on like....fifteen different chapters and don’t finish any. So I have to finish chapters. That’s the rule.

* Plot out my stories or my big stories for the year. I like to know where my output is going. I know I want to be putting a certain amount of words into four different projects. There’s room for movement. But I stay accountable because I know what I’m meant to be working on.

* Er, guilt. Never underestimate the power of guilt when you think ‘shit I haven’t posted a chapter in a while :/ :/ :/‘ this is apparently something that makes me write things. It’s not healthy, lol. I mean it’s not terrible? I care about the people who read my stories and I want them to enjoy what I’m doing, and that’s like...pretty normal if you’re creatively minded and want to share that kind of stuff with people. But guilt can be pretty crushing, I don’t recommend it.

* I’m meant to take five days off for every 25k I write. I play hooky with this all the time, especially if I feel guilty about not posting enough (I am currently resisting taking a break right now lol). But anyway, scheduling breaks is important. I have other things I love! I want to do those things too.

As for tips re: how to get into a writing habit. My advice for that is actually different to what I do now. Writing is like...flexing a mental muscle. I might be at a level where I’m powerhousing in the gym every day, I’m not going to tell everyone else to do the writing equivalent of two hundred sit ups if they can only manage three.

So here’s some advice on how to get into a writing habit:

* 100 words a day, over 100 days. Or 50 words a day, over 50 days. This is great. This is great for writers who have forgotten to write, this is great for newbie writers, it’s great for people who want to write and don’t know how.

Here’s the thing, you write 50 words a day for 50 days, you have a nice little hashtag/goalpost if you want them. It’s doable for most people. Also if you’re having a good day, chances are you’ll write a lot more than 50 words. You can alter this if you’re disabled or have different needs. Maybe it’s just 50 words a day on weekdays, or 100 words a day on weekends. Or 50 words a day when you have spoons.

That’s about flexing your writing muscles when they are little and need some stretching. You learn how to do the push ups before you do even one, let alone a hundred, and exercises like this are great, even if you totally abandon them later on, because you can trust in your output.

* Like to get in the deep end? NaNoWriMo. Supportive communities, accountability in general, and a sense that you’re not alone and everyone is struggling like you are, lol. Except for that one person who is done in three days. Ignore them.

* Consider writing some stuff that you can finish. A lot of people want to write a novel, but it will be fun to write some poetry, short stories, drabbles, novellas etc. that you can finish faster, and get a sense of accomplishment for. Writing can be very lonely, and it can lack validation, so it helps to build in a sense of achievement and accomplishment. Some writers do it through wordcount, but honestly, finishing things is pretty amazing. Even if you don’t like it, if you finished it, that’s awesome.

* Look up some writing blogs and websites. Get overwhelmed. Feel like you’re doing everything wrong. Then take a deep breath and sigh out every shitty thing you read and remember the two or three things you were really excited about trying. Try them. Ignore everything else.

* Consider prompt communities. They can be amazeballs.

* If you’re someone who likes accountability, and are in fandoms big enough for this, consider signing up to Big Bangs and Exchanges. These can be very stressful for people so obviously YMMV (I don’t do these myself), but what they provide is a sense of community (this is important) and they provide deadlines. Doesn’t mean everyone always sticks to them, but it can be quite motivational. Especially if there are Tumblrs / DW sites etc. associated with the Exchange where you can see others struggling as well.

* Take breaks. And don’t just take breaks when you’re burnt out (I learned this the hard way). Take them when you’re inspired. This last bit is something I have always struggled with. I have always grown up believing that if you feel motivated and inspired to write, then goddamn it, you should write!!! But over the years I’ve come to realise that sometimes you should let that energy stir excitedly inside of you and not write. And that will be when you rejuvenate yourself, and come up with new ideas.

* Try writing when you don’t particularly feel like it, but have the time. Sit there and say to yourself: ‘I’m going to try to do this, just one or two sentences, and if inspiration visits me, then cool, and if it doesn’t, then cool.’ This strengthens the writing muscle of cultivating inspiration by doing the work. No one generally likes strengthening this muscle, because it requires the most self-discipline. It’s the one that will pay off the most in the future. At least you’ll get a couple of sentences out of it. But if you really want to write more, sometimes you have to sort of...do that part of the exercise that is less fun but means you’ll have more capacity to create inspiration in yourself in the future.

* Ignore any writing advice that pulls you down or makes you feel like ‘I can’t do that, it’s too exhausting/draining/no one can do that.’ Including anything here. As with going to the gym, anything that taxes you too much straight away is not good for you or healthy. Start in a way that works for you, and be prepared to stretch yourself, but again, in a way that works for you. If you find yourself going gung ho into writing exercises and then losing all motivation for months afterwards, chances are, you went too hard, too fast. You did the equivalent of ‘going to the gym every night for a week after never having gone before, and then finding the experience so offputting you hate the gym.’

And if you go too gung ho into things and stop for months, give yourself permission to just start again, instead of telling yourself you’re a bad or lazy writer. I promise you, that you are neither of those things. (I don’t mean you specifically OP, I mean anyone reading this). Learning how to write is like...it’s hard to do, and we each have a unique formula for ourselves that takes time to work out. It’s only natural that we will find ways that don’t work for us more often than we find ways that do. Give yourself permission to give up on things, abandon exercises and stories, because as soon as you clear away that space, you’ll have more energy to try things in the future.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #dodgy advice #please don't listen to me i don't know what i'm talking about #all disclaimers go HERE #note i am not really a writer and i'm just a hamster shamming as a writer #this is such a long post i'm so sorry #but yeah like #how i do things is not necessarily how you should do things #anon #i don't know where you are in terms of experience #but sometimes accountability is just giving yourself goals and deadlines #and trying to stick to them #and picking yourself up and dusting yourself off when you don't #and trying again tomorrow #i have faith in you #Anonymous

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moghedien · 7 years

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Dianetics, Part 3 - Disabilities actually ARE caused by sin!

All right, so I just finished Chapter 2, titled “The Clear” where some very bold claims were made, as well as some contradictory ones. Before I really go into the chapter itself, I want to give some context to some of the conclusions I’ll make from this chapter.

I know that while Scientology is a topic of interest because its strange, most people don’t know a lot about how it works. I’ve done way too much research into Scientology, so I’ll explain the basic concept of the Bridge and ultimate goals of the individual Scientologist so that I can explain why this chapter is purposely either withholding information or contradicted by other Scientology concepts.

Past Updates: Part Zero, Part 1, Part 2

So the general goal for a Scientologists is to move up “The Bridge.” The Bridge is basically a chart/pathway that shows how you progress and what each new step means. You can google charts of this, if you’re really interested (oh boy do they have charts) but the general path is to reach a level that is called “Clear” and then go on into individual OT levels, of which there are currently eight, but David Miscavige (the “pope” of Scientology and successor of L Ron Hubbard) is either about to release more or just released more. I’m not exactly sure how many more OT levels he’s adding. OT stands for “Operating Thetan” and a thetan in Scientology is basically a soul or spirit. Confused yet? Don’t worry about it, just stay with me for a bit.

A person moves up the Bridge through auditing sessions which are basically consoling sessions that are one part therapy, three parts interrogation. If you’ve ever seen pictures of a Scientologist holding things that look like tin cans with wires, that’s an auditing session. It’s also how Scientology gets information on all their members. Good Scientologists are auditing every single day and everything that they say in auditing is recorded and filed away. This is what people are talking about when they refer to Scientology blackmailing people.

So if you’re a good Scientologist and you go through several hundred hours of auditing (all of which you have to personally pay for and will easily total in the thousands or tens thousands) you will eventually go clear. This means that you’ve solved all your mental crisis and are a fully functioning thetan. You’re basically a perfect human being, only not really.

Because you see, after you go clear, then you find out about OT levels. You actually still need improvement, despite being perfect. Depending on what level you’re at exactly, you will either continue to go up the Bridge through being audited or auditing yourself. Things get really weird at OT 3, which is when you find out the Scientology Mythology. I won’t go into that here, but I’ll explain it in another post if anyone is interested, just ask me about it. OT 8 is the last level developed by LRH himself, but more levels are being released and developed. They are claiming that LRH developed these new levels and they’re only now ready for release, but more than likely this is Miscavige’s way to get his ever-shrinking Church to become more profitable for him. At OT 8 thought, people are supposed to basically be superheroes and can move things with their minds, basically. Oddly enough, most OT 8s can’t actually demonstrate these skills they’re supposed to have. Maybe that’s why they needed more levels.

Why am I explaining all of this? Well this chapter of Dianetics is the first introduction to the “Clear,” aka the Perfect Human Being. Me, a person who knows entirely too much about Scientology, knows what LRH is doing here, but the average person who decides to pick up this book and read it wouldn’t. I just want to give any of my readers context to what I’m going to talk about, because I try to be better than L Ron Hubbard.

***

In this chapter, Hubbard begins with a definition of the word Clear within Dianetics. The Clear is what he calls the “optimum individual.” That’s the first sentence of this chapter. The Clear is the person without any insanities or neurosis. They can remember—or as he puts it, recall—things with complete clarity, not just visually. They can perfectly see, hear, taste, smell, and even feel any moment from their past whenever they wish, and they can do this while being completely conscious. It is not like hypnosis and regression, he makes that very clear. The person is both in the present and in the past, completely. Makes sense? Sure, why not. For now pretend it does.

Now, you may be wondering why a person who is Clear can have perfect recollection but someone who isn’t—LRH calls them aberree because they have aberrations—is constantly makes mistakes. Well, the answer to that is that the aberree doesn’t make mistakes. You see, human being are inherently perfect and are perfect computing machines. We are, in fact, better than any computer that will ever be built, but with the aberree, we has input errors. We process information perfectly, but it’s the information we perceive that we process perfectly. For instance, I have terrible eyesight, so I might input the wrong visual information, but what I do input I will have compute with perfection because humans are apparently perfect by nature. Studies have found this. Which studies? Well, LRH conveniently never says, but just trust that they have been conducted by someone and it was a perfectly done study that can be repeatable.

According to LRH, the only people that can NOT become Clear are people who have had large portions of their brain removed, or people who are, and I quote: “born with a grossly malformed nervous structure.” But what about blind or deaf people? What about people who can’t smell? How can you have perfect input of all your senses, if one of your senses doesn’t work? Well, gentle reader, this is the part where I explain why all of this is utter bullshit.

You see in this chapter, LRH doesn’t just explain what Clears are, but he explains WHY non-Clears do not have perfect sensory input. Remember how in the previous chapter he explained that 70% of all physical ailments are psychosomatic? You’ve guessed it! If you have a sensory impairment, it’s psychosomatic! Your brain is making up your poor vision. He actually uses that as his example. If you have bad vision, it’s just your mind attacking your eyes and not letting your poor vision heal. Basically the principle behind autoimmune diseases, except it makes no sense and is not at all backed by science.

However, if you eventually become Clear and cure your aggressive mind, then your eyes will eventually heal and you won’t need glasses anymore. To quote the book, “One of the incidental things which happen to a Clear is that his eyesight, if it had been bad as an aberree, generally improves markedly, and with some slight attention will recover optimum perception in time.” He also insists that ringing ears are the same thing. With going clear, you will stop having them ring all the dang time.

Notably, he doesn’t mention actual blindness or deafness. He doesn’t claim that going clear will cure those, he doesn’t even mention them. He also is repetitive in explaining that people are individuals, and even Clears don’t perceive the same thing. They have different inputs, and how your input changes with going Clear will vary greatly from person to person. Basically, he’s promising to cure your disabilities, but also saying that if he doesn’t cure you that doesn’t mean he was wrong. It just means that you’re an Individual. It sounds almost like he is not expecting this to work and is trying to cover he bases from the get go. Hmmm.

But regardless of whether Dianetics will cure your blindness, the fact remains that you’re blind because of yourself. This goes back to the Old Time belief that disability and mental illness are caused by your personal sins, only they don’t quite exist in those terms in Scientology. Its taken away from the Judeo-Christian concept of sin and put into a pseudo-science context. Instead of sin, its engrams and personal experience. The fact remains, however, that LRH is basically arguing that disability is caused by sin, but in different terms.

Don’t worry though, he promises that you will become optimum when you become Clear. You’ll be perfectly sane. You’ll have perfect recall and perception. You literally can’t get any better, and it is possible to reach this level. It’s actually human nature to be this perfect individual, so you can easily achieve it. Only, LRH is leaving some things out.

He claims here that Clear is the perfection. It is the ultimate goal of Dianetics and the sign of the perfect individual. Only, that’s not the case according to how Scientology works. Going Clear is a baby step compared to what follows. Its like taking off your training wheels. You aren’t an Olympic cyclist, you’ve just learned to ride a bike. Dianetics is largely targeted at non-Scientologists. They did and are still doing huge marketing campaigns for the book to get into the public.

So what happens here is you’re a vulnerable person looking for help. You turn to Dianetics and this acclaimed writer is telling you that perfection is easily achievable and it’s this thing called Clear. You want that, so you go to the seminars, you take the classes, you start the auditing sessions, paying hundreds of dollars each time. You eventually find yourself in this religion called Scientology that is helping you feel accepted and valued and listened to. You pay thousands of thousands of dollars until you finally reach this level of perfection called Clear…only you don’t feel perfect. You still have problems. Why’s that?

Well, because LRH wasn’t being completely honest when he said that going Clear was reaching perfection. You still have quite a long ways to go, but now we have these things called OT levels that can help you actually reach perfection. You’ll just have to go from spending thousands to spending hundreds of thousand, and we’ve already signed you up for more auditing sessions, you start tomorrow. Oh, and you’re an example now, remember, we expect the best of you because you’ve gone clear. Not even all Sea Org members have done that.

LRH is promising to fix your every promise through Dianetics, but then delays and delays and delays that promise when you actually get into Scientology. Once you’re deep and invested in it, the obstacles start coming and the demands start getting worse. Every problem becomes your fault, but the lead in is gentle. He’s promising a whole lot upfront that gets redacted once the paperwork is signed.

***

I’ve already said a lot here, so I’m just going to briefly note two observations I made while reading. LRH constantly uses vocabulary like “we’ve found that” without ever identifying who “we” are. He’s using this collective for seemingly no reason other than to suggest that he is part of some large field of study, but he never actually says that. He also constantly repeats his ideas throughout the chapters. I feel like this is because of his claims in the “how to read this book” section I talked about in part one. If he repeats them enough, you’ll really remember what he’s saying, which will prove that this book is superior because you remembered all the idea and understood the thing he explained eight times within ten pages.

And again, if anyone wants me to explain the OT3 weird Deep Knowledge of Scientology Mythology, ask me because it’s insane and I love talking about it.

#me vs dianetics #dianetics #scientology #l ron hubbard

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demethinkstoomuch · 4 years

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Learning to Read, pt 5: E is for Etiquette

Chapters: 5/26 Fandom: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Fire Emblem Series Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro Characters: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Dedue Molinaro, Gustave Dominic, Original Characters, Rufus Blaiddyd Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Canon Compliant, Grief, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Angst, Fluff, Tragedy of Duscur, Racism, Developing Feelings, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Blue-Lions Typical Mental Illness

Summary:

A series of 26 alphabetically-titled vignettes examining the period where, in the wake of The Tragedy of Duscur, Dimitri taught Dedue to read: a time in which they learned about each other, and the rules of their relationship, perhaps more than about books.

Read on AO3!

A is For Ambiguity

B is for Book

C is for Commendation

D is for Dining

E is for Etiquette

“Eet…” No, it might be short. “Eti…” Dedue considered the messy back half of the word written on the spine of the book before him. It had just happened to catch his eye when he was replacing something they’d been looking at in the library this morning, and it was a thorny title. The first word was fairly incomprehensible, but sounding it out, it sounded more like a name than a word. The second… If it was a word he knew, it couldn’t be Guard, unless R sounds could just vanish when written out, so maybe Guide? Someone’s Guide to… He nodded at it seriously. He didn’t know the word. He quietly took the book and returned with it to where Dimitri was waiting. He placed it down on the table with a thud slightly louder than he’d been expected, causing Dimitri to almost jump out of his skin.

“I am very sorry,” he said, and got waved off while Dimitri settled to look at the book. They’d been planning to head out, but Dimitri wasn’t in such a hurry that he didn’t have a glance to spare for it.

“Gwenolen’s Guide to the Etiquette of the Chivalric Court ? What made this catch your eye?” he asked, inspecting the book thoughtfully. His fingers made a little rainfall tapping against its spine.

“Its title was hard to read, so I grew curious.” Of course, the answer had nicely confirmed his guess. “Do you know what it is about?” Dimitri’s mouth pulled into a closed-up frown.

“Oh, it’s a famous manual of conduct for courtiers of all levels, sectioned by rank. Compared to other books like it, it’s not very much trying to pretend Faerghus is Adrestria, so it’s well-liked, I guess. I had to read a great deal of it in the past.” He looked at the book with his eyes tense; likely, that spoke to his feelings on it. He brought it back down to the table. “Chivalry are the ideals of a knight, and Chivalric, a term to refer to things supporting and supported by those ideals. Etiquette is the rules underlying polite conduct.”

“I thought the word for that was ‘manners,’” said Dedue, whose mother had clucked over the manners of her children until they were (mostly) undeniably well-behaved.

“Ah, well.” Dimitri rubbed his chin thoughtfully. His face was looking better — he was looking healthier on the whole — since Dedue had started cooking some meals for him. Dedue wasn’t satisfied with the response to his cooking when he saw Dimitri’s entire lack of enthusiasm for it outside of his words; still, Dimitri’s color was better, and he was finishing meals now, so the rest would be a matter of understanding and patience. But he couldn’t say Dimitri looked quite right — his hair often seemed completely unattended to, the long blond strands falling over each other and crossing over his face if Dimitri didn’t shake them out of the way, and his eyes were often, between their sleepless shadows and their long stares, worrying in a way Dedue knew he himself sometimes mirrored. Dedue didn’t want to wonder if it would ever be easier — to see, to be, both. He wanted to know. “Manners are the specific actions and words, while I suppose etiquette is more a matter of the theory, that is, the rules and reasons guiding manners?” Dimitri attempted, and then shook his head, causing his hair to fly all over.

Dedue made a noncommittal noise as he ran his hands over the book. The rules and reasons for how people in Faerghus — people in Fhirdiad — people in this castle — were supposed to handle others. Perhaps, then, too, the sort of things that might be expected of them? Of him.

“Would it be alright if I borrowed this someday?” He eventually asked, causing Dimitri to shrug.

“It’s not often used, though I imagine that with... so many new staff members, people might be using it in the near future in order to bring new servants to order and to be accustomed to the castle.” The way Dimitri had paused wasn’t something to overlook — but nor was it something Dedue knew how to press. Still, did the book cover even something like that? “But that’s not to say you couldn’t borrow it for your own study, of course. I think if no one comes looking for it, it shouldn’t be a problem to hold onto it for a while. And you can always borrow it multiple times.”

“Hmmm...Perhaps I will come back for it.” As he turned to return it to its place, Dimitri followed after.

“I do, however, hope you know your conduct to this point has been fine. I’ve no complaints.”

Dedue wondered to what extent Dimitri meant it, and to what extent Dimitri only said such things because he was, Dedue had realized, very much dedicated to being nice. It was true Dedue had always striven to be polite, but that didn’t remotely mean he was faultless.

“Good,” he told Dimitri. It wasn’t untrue — he’d rather keep it that way than much else, even if Dedue was simply being treated nicely. “I still feel I need to understand better.”

***

There had been a time, the day before last, when he had certainly done something wrong. It was possible it had even slipped Dimitri’s mind entirely; it had been a bad day, after a stormy night where Dimitri must not have been able to sleep, not when Dedue certainly hadn’t. That was what had started it to begin with. Dedue hadn’t been comfortable watching Dimitri pace about his rooms for much longer that day. No one should pace that quickly when they were so exhausted that he barely kept his eyes open, but his steps had been relentless. It was too much.

“Is there something you would like to do, Dimitri?” He’d asked, hoping to draw Dimitri back out, pull him away from the corners of himself.

“What? Oh, Dedue, I’m not...” Dimitri had blinked intently, and picked up his voice to put it back on solid footing. His face grew taut, mask-like. “I’m fine. I can’t think of anything. I mean, nothing comes to mind in particular. I’m perhaps just a little tired.”

“Would you perhaps walk with me, then?” Perhaps it had been a lot to ask. Dimitri spent a long moment considering it, enough that Dedue found himself mimicking what Dimitri tended to say at times like these, “It is fine if you’d rather not.”

“It’s no trouble at all, I’d be happy to accompany you.” Dimitri side-eyed him at the common refrain, but that at least pulled something a little more natural, maybe even amused, out of his face. “Where did you intend us to go, then, Dedue?”

“I have not seen much of the gardens. If we could, I would like that.” He’d taken a long pause to consider his options — he had not planned this far ahead. Dimitri gave a little nod, took a long series of slow, methodical breaths.

‘’Yes, let’s go; it’d likely be nice this time of year, wouldn’t it? The weather seems to be quite nice, as well.” With an answer that sounded right without sounding right when Dimitri said it, they headed out. Dedue made a point of keeping his stride relatively short as to not leave Dimitri behind — a bit more of a conscious effort than normal. There was no hurry.

Dimitri had been correct. The air was sweet and sun-warmed, smelling of wet earth — the night’s storm lingered as a scent and a buoyant freshness all around them as they stepped out of the main body of the castle, to a landing above lower gardens. Dedue sometimes had the sense of moving through a hollow shell, a castle of ghosts; so much in it was old, and places that looked as if they ought to have been busy, even recently busy, were starting to collect dust — but it didn’t seem that way on that day, when a great many of its residents went to enjoy this brief sunlight amid the rows of blooming lupines, set in concentric beds amid a kaleidoscope of dreamy, billowing poppies. The lines of sight were blocked by juniper bushes, spaced neatly across the beds. At the center of this garden, which branched off towards other ones or buildings along its sides, was an array of large stones, touched with deep green moss and shockingly-colored lichen; the mountains were here, in their way, with blue bellflowers cascading from their gaps and slopes. Even though there had been people taking their own strolls or an afternoon snack on a bench, the precious warmth had seemed more important to them than Dimitri and Dedue.

He’d agreed with them on that. The sunlight had sunk into his bones; its weight draped around him like a blanket. Something squeezed his heart as he drifted down the stairs, approaching the rivers of blooms. He was alive. This had been true for over a month; he still couldn’t explain why in that moment it had struck him so strongly, so bright and so stinging, as he watched the poppies bob their colorful heads, petals satinesque, in the soaking light. Dedue sifted a sigh through his teeth as his heart squeezed tighter.

Dimitri stumbled ahead of him without warning, not so much heading down the stairs as almost falling over himself — the stairs ran out before he could, and so he landed with his feet on the ground.

“Dimitri?” Dedue asked as he caught up to him. Dimitri’s shoulders jerked up around his ears. Dedue waited for Dimitri to relax even just a little before he continued. “Do we need to go back?”

“No. I was only startled by something,” Dimitri answered with that same strained face as before. “I simply heard something unsettling, or maybe odd is a better word, I suppose. I’m sorry for being jumpy today. After all, everything’s alright... isn’t it?”

“It is.” Dedue had realized even in that moment that the plan may not have been entirely sound, but the response at least let Dimitri’s tension ease as he looked out across the garden.

“...It really is lovely today,” Dimitri said once he’d recollected himself. Dedue nodded.. “I think we may have a kitchen garden somewhere, actually. That might be of some interest to you.”

“It is.” That was all they said as they strolled the outer rim of the garden, towards an archway leading elsewhere. While the green between the gate and the main body of the castle was large, while there were padlocks by the stable, and he’d even heard of a small pasture within the walls, it sometimes felt like he was living in a tightly-wound maze that Dimitri navigated on his behalf, keeping him from smacking into one of the walls that towered over them and cut out pieces of the high, vaulted sky. On that day, his navigation felt almost rudderless.

The path they took hadn’t been properly swept yet — petals torn off of poppies and twigs littered the cobbled walkways. And amid that storm detritus came one thing more than the rest — a young juniper, likely only freshly planted to replace some gap in the line, fallen into the way. Its roots rose sideways into the air, some of the dirt still clinging to them. Dedue crouched down beside it in the name of inspection. A branch still bearing the first traces of pale blue berries had snapped on impact; that much was apparent when he tried to move it. Other than that, though, it seemed unharmed.

“Is it going to die?” Dimitri had asked from somewhere behind him. His voice had a high crack in the middle that carried it further than anyone might have wanted it to, not when it sounded so far-away and truly mournful for the thing. He looked embarrassed, clearing his throat uneasily when Dedue glanced back up to check.

“It is not too late,” he’d answered reassuringly. It was a hardy plant, even if it was young, and Dedue ran his fingers through the scaly needles, still green, still pliant to the touch. “It just needs to be moved back into the ground.”

“...I see.” Dimitri was very quiet, as if that would shove the noise he’d made back in him. While Dedue thought he might be relieved, judging from the softness of Dimitri’s tone, there was also the chance that if Dedue checked those blue eyes, they’d have slipped into the glass jewels that had begun this walk. He wanted to believe he’d heard relief that this plant still had a fighting chance, no matter how rough its first storm had been. It had been a storm that had broken it away from everything it had ever clung to. With a small huff from his nose, Dedue’s lips curved wryly. Just exactly what was he thinking? Whoever had failed to check up on it, leaving it sadly on its side like that, didn’t deserve to work on such a garden as this.

“I can set it back as it should be, rather than waiting. Though I do not have the shears for the hurt branch.” A shame, that. He would have to check on it later. He ran his hands over it, seeking out its main trunk at the core of the whippy young branches, checking for other damage. He lifted it upright, angling himself to face the bed as he held the plant. It tottered unsteadily in the hole it had deserted and tilted back over when he went to remove his hands. It would barely be a trouble to hold it steady while he moved the dirt back over and around it; however, it would take longer. “I am sorry for stopping us.”

When he didn’t get a response, Dedue had looked up and saw that, even if there had been relief before then, it had retreated as Dimitri’s eyes shifted, looking for all the world like a pair of rolling marbles; people had noticed them now, but that wasn’t what he was looking for. Dedue didn’t know what it was — only that it bruised his heart black and blue to watch those frantic jerks of dark-ringed eyes.

“Dimitri,” he’d said, and now, in the present, he’d analyzed every word of that sentence for error; he’d memorized it. “Would you do something for me, please? It is very small, but I would appreciate an extra hand to help me hold this steady.”

He hadn’t immediately noticed the way the background hum of people going about their business had stopped. What he’d noticed instead was that Dimitri had snapped back to Dedue, had nodded and crouched down by Dedue’s side, a rare moment when their faces were roughly level, and Dedue could see the earnest focus the prince put into attending.

“I think I can manage that. I honestly shouldn’t be trusted with plants,” Dimitri had made a self-deprecating noise best described as a laugh impersonator.”How should I hold it?”

It was when he was preparing to answer that question that Dedue had looked up. Had noticed the silence that sucked everything else out of the air. The man and woman half-armored who’d been admiring the bellflowers were shooting strange looks at them. The woman eating sweet buns on a stone bench had stopped mid-mouthful. She’d looked sad, but when Dedue’s eyes met hers, her nose wrinkled in disgust. She swallowed in a heavy gulp without once breaking eye contact.

Even thinking of it now made Dedue’s heart spin in a whirlpool. He’d kept looking from eye to eye, heartbeat slamming into audability as he met those perplexing expressions. Some eyes were on Dimitri with a hard mourning. Some were on him, more disdainful. Not a one lacked tension, fixed on this simple scene. He’d kept wondering, was still wondering — What had made it so wrong? Was there a better way to phrase it? Was the question itself wrong? His heart went on, but his lungs, his shoulder, his arm, his hand had frozen down to the fingers. It must have been at least a little wrong, he knew it was a burden, he’d understood, but Dimitri had answered so calmly and what is about to happen? The air bristled with knives and needles unseen. He couldn’t breathe.

Then someone scoffed, and the tension broke; the pair at the bellflowers turned back to the bellflowers, the distant figures at the edge of the courtyard resumed their stroll, the woman turned her head to take another bite. And Dimitri had asked how he should hold the plant again, as if there was nothing wrong with it.

“...Have I done something wrong?” Dedue had asked while he held the plant as an example, reaching around its base to hold the trunk. His voice hadn’t come out right; it sounded so stunned that Dimitri’s face lost its strange distance, became real and present and worried for him.

“I’m not sure what you mean. You haven’t really done anything.”

Dedue only stared worriedly in response, and did not let go right away when Dimitri’s hand wrapped exceedingly gingerly around plant as directed, his hand all but open around the trunk so he barely touched it.

Now that the anxiety was dying — for whatever had happened, it didn’t seem like something truly terrible would come of it — his face went red as he tentatively let go and began to replace the dirt over the now steady plant. Embarrassing. But it may have been more than that.

He looked up — not at Dimitri, but at the people who were beginning to filter out of the garden with studious disregard. None of them were doing anything. No step advanced towards them. The woman with the sweet buns didn’t come over and scold him; the pair by the bellflowers were now heading towards the stairs as if nothing worth those glances was occuring. Had it only been that they’d noticed Dedue and disapproved? No.

“Are you well?” Dimitri leaned forward until their faces were only a few inches apart. He should still have been asking that question of himself.

“Everyone was staring when I asked you to help me,” Dedue managed.

“Really?” Dimitri looked more baffled than anything else as he glanced up and around at the mostly-vacant garden, morphing to faint irritation as he caught only the backs of these very innocent people. His next words came out flinty. “Oh, I see. Some people are so stubborn and hidebound, it’s completely unreasonable.” He shook his head, trying to wipe the frown from his lips.. “...Let them think what they want. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

An answer which told him many things. There was something wrong. If it was somehow beneath the honor of a prince, why was no one coming to say something? To take it from his hands and scold one or both of them? Why not do something for him? Dedue’s hands on the soil told him to hold back, to go slowly, to be gentle with the juniper. He wasn’t listening to himself. He scooped up the dirt roughly and pressed it down over the top of the roots, where clods tumbled down through the criss-crossing layers. The plant’s trunk shook in Dimitri’s hand as spare flecks of dirt spattered on it.

“I...think that if it weren’t you, no one would have minded, even if it means a prince gets his hands dirty at your request. I certainly don’t mind, and it’s unreasonable that they might.” Dimitri’s face fell back onto Dedue — the sympathy in his eyes felt like an act of will, so intent and honed that it pushed it too hard. But Dimitri’s voice was flatter than that, and his feelings were normally carried there more perfectly than in his face. So it was a milder, less distressed absolution which melted over him like the sunlight, loosening up muscles he hadn’t entirely known he’d tensed. Dedue gently tapped the top layer of dirt down over the roots in response, with the slowness and patience he’d needed before. “I mean that, I truly, truly mean that, understand? I’m not in the slightest bit bothered, and I’m truly glad to help, and as it’s me being asked, that’s what matters.”

“Thank you, then,” he’d said, still uncertain. “We will have to keep an eye on it, but I believe it will be fine.”

“Really? How nice. I know it’d be arrogant of me to act like I was of much help, but it’s nice,” Dimitri had sounded wistful as they’d both stood up to go. “My hands aren’t useless, if only for a little bit.”

Dedue couldn’t ask for more than that, he simply could not get it, not without shattering the feeling that, in having done all of that, even his errors, he may have been a little useful to Dimitri’s heart. The gardens were waiting before them, and the uncertainty and fear could be, for both of them, briefly set aside.

#fire emblem #Fire Emblem: Three Houses #Fire Emblem: Three Houses Spoilers #Dimidue #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dedue molinaro #Fanfic #My Writing #Learning to Read #This one is cross-posted super late!

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #440

from a day or two ago.

Do you drink a lot of soda? I definitely do. :/ I'd lose weight so much easier if I could drop the habit. Are tomatoes the best food in the world? I don't like tomatoes unless they're very fresh and on a mayo and bacon sandwich. Have you seen The Blindside? I actually haven't. Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Not really. There's a place I like that isn't huge, but I don't have like, a serious passion for or loyalty to it. Would you date someone 10+ years older than you? Meh, I think ten years is my cut-off. Are you due for a haircut? For sure. >_< Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? Yeah. Even with my APAP mask, because I apparently move it too much in my sleep, I'm struggling with my sleep apnea nightmares/terrors. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Most of it. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all of them, no. How many different digital cameras have you owned in your life? How about cell phones? Cell phones, idk. I've had two "pro" cameras. Do you typically do your make up the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? It's pretty much always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Mom. We worked together on my room. What do you usually order at Subway? Turkey, bacon, American cheese, pickles, banana peppers, and chipotle on I want to say Italian bread. How long is your mother’s hair? It's hard to say, because it's all poofy now versus wavy like before it had to be shaved off. Don't repeat it to her ever, but she has, uh... "old lady hair" now, ha ha. What is your favourite car brand? I don’t care. Whose chore is it to clean the bathrooms in your house? My mom does it. Pick your three favourite fruits. Strawberries, kiwi, and uhhh... apples. Or pineapple. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Yeah. We used to play that a lot at Colleen's house on nights we had some drinks. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Oh jeez, idk. I haven't hung out with a friend in a long time. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? Zero. I'm in my bedroom. Are you bored right now? I'm bored almost every waking hour of my days. Have you ever seen a pelican in real life? I'm actually not sure. What’s important about April? My younger sister's birthday is in April. Is there anyone who hates you? Jason probably does. Would you consider adoption? Not for me personally. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Noooo. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? My younger sister comes over here and we open our presents with Mom, who also cooks a nice breakfast. We then go to my older sister's house for the day to watch the kids open presents from their extended family. I say "extended" because the kids obviously aren't going to wait for us to get there to open the majority of their gifts from their parents, ha ha. What’s a few facts about the last person that talked to you? She's from New York, has five kids, has survived cancer (one almost advanced to a fatal level) twice, she loves owls, and recently graduated with her bachelor's in social work (it's never too late, people). What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both cisgender females. Where is the biggest scar on your body? It's probably where I had a cyst removal, which is in a spot I can't see. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? Absolutely not. I am NOT getting involved in that. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? I'd go to the gym sooner. Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? Hmmm... I think Tyler actually may have had a The Legend of Zelda tattoo? I can't really remember. If not him, then no. Have you ever kissed someone you weren’t dating? No, but I've been kissed by someone I wasn't dating. Do you know anyone who drinks a lot? Yes. What were you afraid of the most when you were a kid? Being separated from/losing my mom. Do you like to make the first move? No. When was the last time you completely broke down? A few weeks ago when I was having a PTSD episode. Are you listening to any music? No; I'm watching Gab play Final Fantasy X. Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail? No. Has someone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Hm, it's funny, I don't see him anymore. Have you ever peed in the woods? No. Have you ever played Twister? Yeah, I liked playing it as a kid. Are you looking for a boyfriend//girlfriend? Not actively, no. I really don't need one right now. Out of all of your friends who have you gotten in the worst fight with? Of all friends I've EVER had, probably Colleen. Of the friends I still have, maybe Sara. What is the last microwaveable meal you had? I've been on a SERIOUS grilled chicken pesto kick lately. Mom buys these small Healthy Choice (or some brand like that) bowls that you put in the microwave and then pour the noodles and chicken into the sauce after and mix, and oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOD it is so good. What would you consider a talent of yours? Assuming the worst out of every imaginable situation. If Hogwarts was a real place and you were able to attend, what class do you think you’d excel at? According to those little quizzes I've taken, I lean mostly towards Hufflepuff, but with Gryffindor traits as well. Would you rather learn more about space or more about the ocean? Well, ideally, space, but I think learning much more about our ocean would be more beneficial to our planet and our prosperity on Earth. Do you have a mental illness? If yes, how have you learned to cope with it? If no, do you ever suspect you may have one? I have a lot. My bipolarity, OCD, and PTSD are *mostly* under control, but I most certainly still have trouble sometimes. My anxiety and AvPD are still rabid fucking hounds. My depression was well-managed not even that long ago, but life circumstances have it so it's been more aggressive than what was usual. Do you have a favorite character from The Avengers? I dunno, I like Loki ig. Thor is cool, too. It's been WAY too long since I've seen that movie. What type of cake would you like right now? Double chocolate cake sounds great rn. @_@ What was your dream job when you were a child? Are you going after that dream or not? Why? Paleontologist, and no, because I don't want to travel for work, and I could also never handle the heat during site excavations. Even though it may not work all the time, what usually helps make you feel better when you’re upset or down? Watching one of my comfort series on YouTube from channels I enjoy. Why do you personally take surveys? It's a method to just get all these thoughts out of my head and to vent when I need to without actually directly burdening someone with my problems. No one has to read 'em. It's purely for my benefit, and also to pass the time, which I have too much of. Are there any words that you can’t stand? Derogatory terms for certain groups of people. What are words that you love? Words like "serendipity," "bliss," joyous, bubbly words. I'm blanking on actual terms. If you had an endless supply of money for clothing only, what would you load your closet with? Ohhhh, lots of shit with studs and spikes. :') I've wanted a studded leather jacket since I was in middle school. Have never gotten one because of how pricey they are. :( I'd also get some KILLER boots and just obtain a more gothic wardrobe. I'd love corsets too if my body ever shrinks back to a point I'd be comfortable wearing well-made ones. What is your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. What is your favorite type of candy? Strawberry Sour Punch Straws. What color would you like to paint your nails next? I don't paint my nails. Realistically, they probably won't be 'til my entirely hypothetical wedding, in which case they'll probably be black. What do you think is creepy that society accepts as normal? Urinals, alsdkfja;klwejr. Like I get men's bathrooms give the option of using a stall, but still... side-by-side urinals are so weird and a breach of privacy to me. What is the silliest secret about yourself that you sometimes feel the need to hide? That I enjoy forum RP. I tell NOBODY because I fear being judged and found as weird. Like seriously, in my "real" life, maybe two people know. What do you think is a good date other than dinner and a movie? I want a picnic date really bad kalj;dkl;jwe. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No. They're all very similar. Do you ever give money to homeless people? No, admittedly. Mom instead likes to sometimes offer them bottles of water or if she's really feeling generous, a cheap meal at like McDonald's or something. She doesn't like to hand out money because, well, we know what a vast majority of homeless people spend it on. Do you like to brag or are you modest? I get really uncomfortable bragging, so I try to be as modest as I can be. What your favourite thing to have on toast? I love giving it a light toast, then adding a thin layer of butter, cinnamon, and sugar. It's bomb. Do you know how to surf? Would you ever like to learn? No to either. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I love sprinkling some sugar in there. Would you prefer to spend time with your whole family all at once, or would you rather quality time with one family member at a time? Depends on what I feel up to, but I tend to enjoy family time as a group more. That way, I don't have TOO much pressure to be constantly social. I can just listen sometimes. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? I have no idea. I worry what people have heard ME say/scream in my sleep. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, they're meerkat ones! :') Choose one: Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Absolutely a Milky Way. Who was the last person to comment you? My mom. I'm cool, I swear. How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? A lot over all these years, but I'd say that's normal when you've been friends since you were 8 and 10. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. What are you planning on doing after this? When I'm done taking this survey, I'll probably either go to bed or play a bit of WoW. Idk. Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? I have my alarm set for 7, actually. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? Mhmmmm. -_- What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? The case that came with the phone got a big crack in it. Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? Absolutely not. I would start vomiting. I can't handle the sound or the act in general. Have you been to the beach this year? No; I haven't been in a long time, and I am noooot complaining. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Yes. Are you tan? God no. Do you own any leather? No real leather, no. I never would. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Yes. We actually just talked today. Well, technically yesterday. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She doesn't really call me bad names. Have you ever listened to Christian music? Not of my own volition, but I've heard it because of other people controlling the radio. Are you the ‘creative child’? Yes, I'm considered that one. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? God no. That's when everything started going downhill. Have you ever been 'popular’? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Are you a fan of muffins? I LOVE muffins. What’s your most recent obsession? It's kinda chilled out now, but when Resident Evil 8: Village released, I was CRAZY over it. I watched SO many different let's plays of it. I think it's safe to say it beats out RE4 as my favorite installment.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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13merlinspants · 6 years

Note

All odd numbers

Thanks anon,Sorry for the length of this but it was a lot of questions and I do like to talk about myself haha

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?Nuh, other than the celebrity ones but that’s just an always thing for me

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? 3 years, it was long distance though so we had only spent about 3 actual months together in a physical sense before that ended.

5: How is your relationship with your ex?The most recent one is okay, we’re trying to stay friends and the one before was overseas so still social media friends but we don’t talk.

7: Have you ever cheated? Now… okay there’s a story with this one.

So right my first relationship was with a guy I made out with at my crushes 18th birthday party (because she had a boyfriend so I was feeling pretty crappy and drunk and trying to not be gay) anyway I hid in the bathroom for 30 mins that night because he wanted to keep kissing me but I didn’t. I ended up going out and made out some more (as you do when you are an idiot like me).

Anyway he spent the next 3 days convincing me to go out with him despite me telling him I had feels for someone else. I ended up caving and was like ‘whatever,fine.’ So we hung out maybe like 3 times in a month cause I didn’t want to be alone with him cause he wanted to kiss me and I was like ‘I do not enjoy any of this??’. (His mum was really nice tho, I liked her)

so during this time I got invited to go to a gay club and one of my friends introduced me to this girl who was like yeah we should kiss (my friend had told her I’d never kissed a girl but was not straight.) so I ended up messaging him and was like “hey, would it be okay if I kissed a girl here at this club??” And he was like “yeah. Okay.”

So I ended up doing it and then some more not so PG related things upstairs in a booth at the club. (Big regrets tho, haven’t really gone to a gay club since that night because I clearly can not be trusted to have self control)

We broke up like a week later cause I was like look dude, I think I’m gay and I like your friend so I can’t do this anymore it’s not fair to you.

So technically yes? But I got permission, kind of?

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? I think now that I’m older it’s probably that your sense of humour matches up to be honest, that and having things in common. Not everything but its good to have a few common interests

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?No, if you need to go on a break just break up.

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? Hmmm I think just generally being careless in how I say things or not thinking how my actions will affect others (I’m somewhat self centred in that sense.)

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?No not really, not for me anyway 5-6 years older or younger is probably my max.

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?Yeah I do, I did. Very hard for it to last though if it’s a distance thing.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?I usually don’t, I get broken up with so most people just know when it’s time to break up with me haha

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?Yes, though for me it’s generally no. I tend to not really have anything to do with exes after we break up.

23: How many relationships have you had?Three. though one of those was that guy mentioned previously who I avoided so I don’t know if it really counts

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?No I don’t, unfortunately. I wish I did though.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?Take more chances when someone says they think they want to kiss you, make the move don’t wait for them cause then nothing will happen and you’ll regret not taking these chances.

29: What do you notice first about another person?Eyes and then hair then teeth so probably just generally their facial area

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?No, but it wouldn’t be easy, it involves me having to try to care about a lot of things that I don’t actually care about. Like stuff that just wouldn’t stress me out I’d have to be like yeah I get it when really I don’t.

33: Do you want to get married one day?One day if the right person comes along

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? No, I don’t think so. Makes me feel too insecure about myself.

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? I mean, can I say both? I can’t date someone if I don’t want to fuck them but I also couldn’t date someone who I couldn’t have a conversation with or just hang out with and talk.

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? Never given any, but I’ve received one or two.

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?I don’t really have an ideal perfect date, I like the idea of picnics and also like ice skating but I also do honestly just enjoy a fun movie and dinner. Drive in theatre is even better

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?Friends for the most part, but it’s always context based.

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?I mean sometimes there’s a few friends where I’m like i mean it wouldn’t suck? But also we’ve been friends for too long and then i realise that it’s honestly better that way because relationships change the dynamics.

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?I don’t have one? If I had to pick one I’d say Victoria and David Beckham cause I like them both, one is a spice girl and one of my favourite Soccer player.

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?Maybe, not on purpose though.

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? Poor but nice, I can make enough money for myself.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?Generally no, most couples I see make me think like thank fuck I’m single but occasionally there’s a cute couple where I’m like man, I could really go for that. But otherwise not really

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?I can get like that but for the most part no, I put out a certain amount of clinginess in a relationship cause people like to be wanted and missed but I’m pretty okay just chilling by myself really and the jealousy thing isn’t usually an issue until there’s an issue in the relationship and I’m feeling insecure about myself because of that.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?No I’m usually pretty good about that kind of stuff

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?Family, even though they’re all weirdos

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?No as long as they’re still having sex with you, would be different if they only watched porn but didn’t want to have sex with you

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?No not all all, I’m too awkward with my limbs and body. Not that I don’t like cuddling, I’m just kinda bad at it, especially upright ones where I’m worried about my feet.

#ask #personal #anon

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michaelguyyo · 6 years

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1-70

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

Yeah, Camila Mendes. She plays Veronica on Riverdale

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

Again I’d like to point out Camila Mendes… Lmao but no for real, yeah of course I have, I have a lot of love to give (and to answer the first question seriously, I sure hope so. I’m dating a girl who I have a crush on always)

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?

Hmmm…. Lizz I think, I mean even though there were some rough spots in the middle, I still count it. It’s been a while.

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

I’d like to think I improve all the time, I hope I��m changing for people for the better every day

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

Depends who you’re asking, I care about anyone I’d consider an ex. But some of em don’t like me, it happens.

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

I’d say so (see 62)

7: Have you ever cheated?

Yeah, as much as I’m embarrassed to admit it, I have. It was a rough time… That’s behind me though, bad experience all around.

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

If she loyal, I don’t care what her reputation is. I’d be a little skeptical but I want people to prove themselves to me, not one to hold on to other’s reputations

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?

In my opinion? Intimacy, passion. I dunno I want every kiss to feel just as exciting, every date to be full of just as many laughs.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Relationships… Kinda. I dunno it’s weird, whichever I’m currently on at the time, I kinda wish it was the other. But to an extent, like I love whoever I’m with at any given time, I don’t want them to be outta my life in the least bit, especially now with Lizz she’s the best I could ask for.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

Not something I’ve ever purposely done. But if both parties feel like it would be healthy and beneficial that’s up to them. I have nothing against it, but not something I’m actively looking for

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

Yikes… Umm, depends what you’d consider hooking up? I’d sayyy, 6-7?

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

Binch I regret everything I do all the time. I’m a super shitty boyfriend like 75% of the time and I’m always trynna do better.

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

14-15 honestly. High school, do whatever the fuck you want I don’t care.

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?

With like 2-3 years? Yeah… But an 18 year old getting it on with a freshman, or a gap as weird as that and you sure are pushing it.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?

Hmmm… Infatuation, for sure. But love? Iffy… I’d probably lean towards no.

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

Sure why not.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

IN WHAT CONTEXT?

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?

If you’re at the point that you’d rather kiss someone other than your current partner and you have the opportunity to (so like…….. I’d kiss Justin Timberlake over Lizz, but no opportunity) then it’s time to talk to your partner.

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

Ya, she fake tho

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

FOR SURE, 100%. I wish all the people I’ve dated were still close to me.

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

Also for sure, your partner should be one of your best friends. It’s boring otherwise, super boring.

23: How many relationships have you had?

By my counts, 6, but that’s a liberal 6. Three that I’d call rather serious.

24: Do you think love can last forever?

Surrreeeeeeee, it’s not as easy as a fairy tale though

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

Yuck. No. Not at all. It’s a good start though for sure.

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?

What year is it the fuck

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

Hold on to the people you hold dear, cherish the moments. Those moments won’t always be there.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

In my personal opinion, only to an extent. Like I’m pretty far from Lizz, but we see each other a few times a month. If I was in another state? Hell naw

29: What do you notice first about another person?

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, eyes and the way they light up when they laugh.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

Straight as hell fam, surprising I know

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

What the fuck year is it??? No, as long as they aren’t abusive, hell no.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

Dating relationship, no I wouldn’t say so. Bad ones maybe but I’d never call them abusive.

33: Do you want to get married one day?

Yaaaaa, call me old fashioned but I love all that romance crap.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

Y I K E S. It’s tacky even if it ends up not being a mistake. Unless it’s like a list of all past relationships with crosses through em, that’s kinda cool

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

no next question

36: Are you still a virgin?

yes next question

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?

As shitty as this sounds, to me, looks. No personality will make up for the fact that I’m not attracted to you… But you could be a little bland and I’d still be like damn ma at least you hot. But I doubt the relationship would last long without both.

38: Do you enjoy love films?

Yes pls I love movies.

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

Surprisingly?? No??? Send me roses.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

Ya of course, I try to do fun dates on Valentines when I can

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?

Dinner, movie, dancing. I wanna dance with my girl all night.

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

Yeah it was a school requirement, it was solid. Leo version best version.

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

Yiiiikeeesss…. Honestly, my friends. But I consider my partner a friend…. But if I had to choose between Lizz and all my friends? I don’t think I could choose Lizz over everyone else. I would cry either way though, just a little more if I lost literally all my friends lmao I don’t think Lizz could support me through that, nobody could.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?

Probably, but I’m not very good at it. Suave, sure. Affectionate, sure. But generally romantic? Hmm… I try my best.

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

I could imagine dating any one of my friends. All cuties. All great people.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

Fuck this shit naw, I’m hot as hell and also the friendzone isn’t real. Unless you talkin about your buddy’s house. Then I’ve been in the friendzone

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?

I miss Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield.

48: What’s your favorite love song?

You and I by Ingrid Michaelson

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yeah, unfortunately far more than I’d like.

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?

fuk u

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?

Poor? I am a male so society doesn’t expect me to marry rich. So that’s not even a small thought.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

People don’t ask me for relationship advice, but I don’t think I’m bad at it… I’m just sure people from the outside think very differently about me and my relationship skills lmao

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

Nope, still love couples. Always fun to be around if they’re cool people.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

Not? Facebook is dead grow up

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

Nothing is silly about depression or heartbreak. I mean don’t do it, but I understand the thought, there’s nothing wrong with a thought, just work through it.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

Dominant for sure oops

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

All the time? Not like extensively, I got to it… Just not immediately or whatnot, missed the midnight snap or something along those lines. Mostly I just get sidetracked

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?

Do whatever the hell you want. Talk with your partner, if they into it then fuck it

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?

Again… Family, there’s just more of them. If you ever told me “who’s more important, 1 person or these important 5+ other people” I’d have a hard time choosing the one. It’s a lot easier getting over a relationship than getting over the loss of your entire family lmao

62: How do you define “cheating”?

Anything that hurts your partner involving your interactions with another person. Heavily flirting or the likes is considered cheating in my book. If you told your partner about it and they’d consider breaking up with you, that’s the line.

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

Who the hell cares, no.

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?

Maybe a little bit, but I love Valentines Day… So who cares. I think the gifts sometimes is a little much. But a national date night? I’m all for it.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

I. Love. Cuddling. Relationship not required, we can cuddle. Cuddling is pure as HELL

THANKS A BUNCH. There’s only 65 questions tho, not 70 so typo I imagine.

#answers #you're the best human being i adore you #keep up the anon work you beautiful friend

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