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nerdpoe · 11 months

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TWINcognito mode (Tim and Danny Pretend to be Twins AU)

AO3, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Danny was floating in contaminated ectoplasm, which was absolutely fucking disgusting. If this was Beelzebub’s idea of a prank, then Danny was going to fill his precious lava lake with jello.

‘Come with me,’ he’d said, ‘We’ll go spy on the living for some fun,’ he’d said.

Then the stupid Demon had knocked him out and now Danny was suspended in the equivalent of sewage.

But something wasn’t right; he had memories that weren’t his and a fighting style that itched under his skin, and his sense of self was muted in a way that only the living felt.

Then the ectoplasm drained, and-

-Danny stood at attention in front of a strange man who was giving off serious stranger danger vibes, bewildered, as said man droned on and on about how he may be another version of Timothy but he would be just as formidable-

-Danny was standing on top of a building, and by this point he was pretty sure that he’d been brainwashed. He needed to find his progenitor, Tim would know how to overcome-

-He was staring at himself, and the self he was staring at stared back in turn.

“Ra’s?” He asked.

“Ra’s.” He answered.

“Brainwashing?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Yes,” he answered, holding his arms out to allow the hit he knew was coming, “Can you undo it?”

His other self smirked.

“I know better than anyone what I’m capable of; of course.”

Red Robin swung out his arm, Danny felt a prick in his neck, and he fell-

-Danny woke up, and for the first time in who knew how long (he knew, it’d been roughly a month of not being himself and also being himself, removed but there), he felt like he was actually present. He could hear Tim rummaging around the kitchen, hear the distant sounds of the city, and started taking stock.

His wrists and ankles hurt, as did his neck. His muscles were sore, like he’d been thrashing around or fighting back. Given the state his progenitor must have dragged him back in, both were likely. He’d likely need further work with an actual therapist to undo the rest, but his head actually felt pretty clear. There were some lingering traces, and he was sure he’d hesitate if he heard a certain phrase or eight from Ra’s, but those could probably be slowly worked out of his system.

Sure, he could just die and go back to being a nearly all-powerful god thing, but…he’d kinda missed being alive. Plus, it wasn’t like he’d completely lost his powers. He could still feel them, they were just muted.

He knew he could fly, had a bit of supernatural strength, could still toss energy bolts and create a shield, but the other powers? Locked away and sealed into his incorporeal form. The powers he just intimately knew he had were the only ones that his current moral body could handle.

So at least he still had a piece of his original self; it would help differentiate him from Tim. A whole person he hadn't known, but now knew better than he’d ever known Jazz. It was weird to think about. At least when Dani had been made, she hadn’t been forced to take reconstructed versions of his memories.

Slowly, he sat up; wincing as the electrodes on his skin fell off. He felt shaky, strained, and…wait.

“Did you just…shock the brainwashing out of me?” he asked, watching as Tim rounded the corner and handed him a cup of coffee.

The laugh that Tim let out was just short of unhinged; a memory that Ra’s hadn’t known to replicate then.

“If electroshock was good enough to turn me into JJ, then theoretically it should be good enough to train my brain away from League brainwashing,” Tim snorted, and Danny was suddenly very sure he Didn’t Want To Know, “We’ll have to keep an eye on you to make sure though. Probably set you up with a therapist or eight.”

“I’m sure the Justice League would have some good suggestions,” Danny agreed mildly, sipping his coffee, “We just need to follow proper protocol for finding a clone that isn’t brainwashed or needs assistance overcoming brainwashing.”

Tim sipped his coffee.

Danny sipped his coffee.

“But we don’t want to do that, of course.”

“Oh no, no we do not. It’s been too long since we’ve had fun, I think.”

“And wouldn’t you know it; I thought of something funny. Wanna do it?”

~~~~~~~

It was funny.

For them, anyway.

The overall gist was; Danny would go to Dinah for therapy, and they’d have to trust in her professionalism to keep his existence secret until he was ready.

Ready for Danny meant, of course, when he and Tim finally got made by the rest of the Batclan.

They were going to play it off that Tim had always had a twin. Daniel Janus Drake-Wayne had always been there, pushed into the background because his parents didn’t want an accident with his powers to get out to the press.

And hadn’t that been a shock for Tim, to learn that his clone-twin had powers?

They’d managed to work it in, though.

So the plan was to make it seem like they’d never hidden that Tim was a twin, doctor literally every single piece of evidence they could electronically to show that Tim had a twin, and work in shifts to drive the family up a wall. All photos had been doctored, signatures had been forged, they’d even forged Bruce’s signature on some doctored adoption papers.

“Oh, I’m emancipated. Do you want to be?”

“Nah, it’d be even funnier if they thought they’d pushed the one still under his guardianship out of the manor.”

“A bit cruel, but yeah that’d really make them scramble. Perfect.”

They would, eventually, start dropping hints that they weren’t there for XYZ meeting, etc.

The family had pushed Tim to the side, and like, sure, it wasn’t really a big deal. But it was super inconsiderate and by proxy they’d also pushed Danny to the side as well, so payback was a bitch and payback was making the entire batfamily question their abilities as detectives and good family members.

“We should get Kon and Bart in on it. Cassie as well, we’ll never sell it without her.”

Tim nodded, already sending out a coded text to his friends. They’d arrive in two hours, when they could make enough excuses to leave without getting caught or raising suspicion.

“I think we should divide up the time they’ve seen us and say that some of that time, for the more public appearances, it wasn’t me.”

“Ohhhh, try to remember the ones you were super uncomfortable at and we’ll say that was me.”

Danny and Tim grinned at each other.

The prank was way too involved, way too intricate, and they were having way too much fun planning it to stop and think about potential consequences.

“Currently I’m trying to break open a pretty big case, I need you to fill in for me at family brunch in a week. Then there’s an extended training exercise in the woods for a week immediately afterwards; all of us are to attend. Substitute heroes have already been selected for our territories. Is that doable?”

“Sure, I’ll get started on freaking them out. Nothing too obvious, but I’ll have to target Bruce a bit differently if I want to avoid confrontation.”

“Of course.”

“I think I like puns. I’ll start with those.”

“Practice now and perfect it; that way it doesn’t seem like you’re new to them.”

“Of course, I’m practice-ly a natural.”

The dead eyed stare that Danny got was worth it.

~~~~~~

Danny stared at his new drivers license; it was designed to look a bit roughed up and older. It was almost identical to Tim’s, picturewise.

He hadn’t really been thinking about it, but he was kind of starting to really like the idea of having an identical twin. He was still hashing out his personality versus the one that Ra’s had tried to install in him, but he felt like having someone to call family, even as a prank, would help him figure it out.

He could still feel echoes of his family bonds, and there was a tentative new one between him and his…twin. He needed to think of himself as that to prevent referring to himself incorrectly in the future.

There were the faint bonds to his parents and his sisters, back in the Infinite Realms, and even fainter ones going to who he assumes were the ‘batfamily’. He hadn’t told Tim, and he was pretty sure he didn’t need to, but he was grateful to get to know them outside of the designation of ‘that clone that got dropped on us’.

And there were Tim’s friends; they’d dropped by, oohed and ahhed, and declared Danny their friend as well. Danny wasn’t sure if the friendship would last, but again; the more family or friends he had, the more secure he felt about himself.

So even if they were on loan from Tim, Danny was grateful for them.

Also they had been 100% on board with gaslighting the batclan and seeing who would notice. From Danny’s memories he had based from Tim’s, he was certain Cass would find out first.

He was pretty sure she’d go along with it.

Danny knocked his forehead on the window as the Uber came to a sudden stop, and the driver nervously looked back.

“Uh, here we are Mr. Drake-Wayne,” the poor man looked like he was terrified to be parked in front of the gates to the Manor, “I can assure you of Uber’s ability to keep customer IDs secure though, there really wasn’t a need for a fake-”

“It isn’t, thanks,” Danny said quietly, letting himself out and walking towards the gates.

This place…was so much bigger than his generated memories recalled.

He heard the Uber tear away, and focused on trying to muster up the courage to walk through the gate. He’d gone over it with Tim, it would be easy. All he had to do was just go in there and socialize.

Was the anxiety he was feeling a Danny trait or a Tim trait? Shit, did one of them have anxiety? Did both of them?

He could almost hear Jazz berating him in the back of his mind, going on and on about taking his mental health seriously. He would have to tell Dinah and talk about feelings.

Gross. He wasn’t looking forward to-

-A car horn blared behind him, almost causing him to give up the game early as he spun around and glared at Jason, a hand behind his back and ready to summon a ball of ecto-plasmic energy.

Jason glared right back.

“Come on shitstain, did you forget how a fucking gate works?”

Danny frowned. What would Tim do?

Another car directly behind Jason’s honked its horn in response.

“Don’t be rude, Jason!” Ah, Dick. A…A witness. Danny had himself a witness.

Ah.

Aha!

That was what Tim would do.

Danny smiled serenely, taking great pleasure at the sudden paranoia and confusion that flashed over his older brother’s face.

“Don’t,” Jason warned softly, grip on the steering wheel tightening.

Danny moved towards the car.

“Timberly I swear to god-”

Danny walked to the car-a classic 1970 mustang, nice-and gently ran his hand along the hood.

Jason snarled and tapped the gas, clearly only intending to spook Danny away from the car.

But Danny stepped forward and into the giant, mostly steel vehicle’s momentum. He made sure to use a little extra strength to dent the front, certain that his mortal body would bruise, and dramatically dropped down.

“What the fuck-” “Tim!” The scream Dick let out was nothing short of guttural, and Danny realized he may have forgotten to take into account the possible PTSD of both siblings.

The door to Dick’s car slammed open and the eldest of them bolted around Jason’s car towards Danny, only for the footfalls to pause long enough for Dick to deck Jason in the face. Perfect. Yes, yes this would do.

Danny grinned as he picked himself up off the ground, quickly wiping it off his face before Dick could notice it.

Jason saw it.

Jason’s glare intensified as Dick hurried towards Danny.

Danny allowed himself to be dragged away from the front of the Mustang and turned his head just enough to stick his tongue out at Jason, safely where Dick couldn’t see.

The blackening eye really did suit the man, Danny thought to himself as he was bundled into the back of Dick’s car. But it was as the Ancients said; talk shit, get hit.

~~~~~~

Cass had frozen at the top of the steps and just stared at Danny as Dick fretted over him.

Danny stared up at her and smiled, allowing his giddyness at the prank to show in his body language for a half a second.

Cass smiled back, letting out a short laugh before she descended the stairs. She made a point to glare at Jason and protectively put a hand on Danny’s shoulder.

Jason spluttered, gesturing violently towards her and then towards Danny. The third oldest snarled when Cass very obviously turned her head away from him, before finally scoffing and storming into the dining room.

“You’re all fucking against me! I’m gonna remember this you little asshole, you better be prepared!”

Danny snickered and stepped out of Dick’s hold.

“I really am fine, you can stop-”

“Tim, I know you and Jason don’t get along but please don’t ever make him hit you with his car again. What if it had been serious?”

Danny flushed, averting his gaze. Damn, he thought he’d done a really good job of acting too.

“Look at this!” Fingers brushed his hair out of his face, focusing on poking at a small bruise on his forehead from the Uber window, “This bruise is gonna be awful, what were you thinking?”

“If you knew, then why did you punch him?” Danny grumbled, the flush increasing as Cass started tousling his hair.

Dick snorted.

“He shouldn’t have made the threat to begin with; we all know you don’t handle threats well or normally.”

Danny opened his mouth to defend himself, but was stopped by a large hand resting on his shoulder.

“Tim, what’s this about Jason hitting you with his car?” Bruce asked, concern managing to worm its way into his voice.

“I’m fine-”

“Tim, your version of ‘fine’ is two days of no sleep and a broken arm,” Dick interrupted, sounding very much like a tired father himself.

“Well, they said ‘break a leg’ but I needed those.”

Dick and Bruce froze, both turning an evaluating gaze on Danny.

“Oh no,” Bruce sighed, reaching out to trace the bruise on Danny’s forehead, “He’s got brain damage.”

“Hey Tim, nice to see you,” A voice loudly interrupted. The voice that said it, for how bright it was, sounded downright cold.

The group froze, all heads turning as one towards Barbara. She was smiling, but it wasn’t a nice smile, and any who knew her (or knew of her well enough to probably know her) knew better than to think she was actually happy.

“I can run the equipment downstairs to make sure he isn’t brain damaged, no need to bother Leslie. Besides, we need to have a little talk.”

~~~~~~

Danny sat on the medical cot.

Bruce and Dick had run to the dining room as soon as they could, the cowards.

Barbara sat in front of him, her fingers steepled as she waited for her own tech to outdo the Bats.

Her phone let out a small ding, and she finally nodded. All recording devices except hers were active. Tapping at her phone, she held it in front of her as his own voice echoed through the speaker.

“Ra’s?”

“Ra’s.”

Man, their voices sounded almost identical. The only real difference was the inflection used.

“Brainwashing?”

“Yes, can you undo it?”

It really sounded like he was just having a conversation with himself.

“I know better than anyone what I’m capable of; of course.”

The recording stopped. Barbara set the phone back down on her lap.

“So. I could swear that you weren’t on any records at all prior to two weeks ago, Daniel. Mind explaining how that happened?”

Danny did mind. The prank had seemed like such a good idea in the beginning, but actually explaining it made it seem dumb in hindsight, and Barbara was scary and reminding him of Jazz-

“The only reason I didn’t rat you out and set the Bats on you is because Cass didn’t say you were a threat. Where’s Tim, Daniel?” Her words were sweet, but Danny knew better.

The time for games was suspended, and he needed to rat out his twin.

“Uh, he’s in the Nest. There’s a meta-trafficking ring, and he’s been trying to find out who the leaders are for like, a month.”

Barbara groaned, reaching up to rub her temples.

“What, so he decided to trade places with his ‘twin’ at the last minute to avoid brunch?”

“And training.”

“Of course he did. I’m assuming he’s also largely responsible for all the documents detailing that you’ve existed forever. What are your thoughts on all of this?”

Danny shifted, uncomfortable with being forced to consider his own feelings on the matter when he was still trying to figure himself out as a person. What he did know, however, was that he was very much okay with this.

Maybe a carefully political answer would appease her?

“It’s a nice, slow way to introduce me to this family without the stigma of being a, ah…’twin’. I’m still recovering from my time with Ra’s, so something like this is just a fun way to get to know everyone. Secretly.”

Barbara’s stare, much like her, was not impressed.

Okay, fine.

“Alright; it may be payback for being assholes to Tim when Bruce was gone and we may want to mess with them. Nothing big, just see how long it takes them to notice? We already have something to hold over them since they didn't realize right away. We’re treating it like a training exercise as well. Pretty much only you and Cass passed.”

Now she looked mildly intrigued.

“...Do you wanna be a part of the test?”

Barbara sighed and threw her hands up.

“Sure, why not. I’ll play along. I do have a condition, though.”

Danny nodded, staying exactly where he was and trying not to vibrate in place.

“I want to use your ‘past’ to teach Bruce about the importance of communication.”

Danny had no idea how she would do that, but sure. As long as he got to fuck with these people, he was fine with whatever she did with his doctored history.

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

~~~~~~

Brunch was…an affair.

Damian tried to poison him, Jason kept kicking him under the table, and Dick kept trying to put more food on his plate.

So, Danny stared Jason dead in the eye as he reeled his foot back and kicked with enough force to shove Jason’s chair back a good foot.

Then, turning his attention to Damian, he held the little shit’s stare as he picked up the toast that had been tainted, slowly lifted his hand, and shoved it into Dick’s mouth without looking.

“Thank you Dick, but you should toast-ally have some.”

He felt Dick smile delightedly against his hand.

“Richard, do not swallow that! Spit it out!”

“No Dick, eat it; teach the little demon that there’s consequences to his actions.”

“Did you just try to tip my chair? You little shit-”

“I have the antidote, Big Brother.”

“Thanks Cass! Dami, we’ve talked about this-”

“Master Damian, there will be no poison at the table.”

“Tim, why would you put poisoned toast in Dick’s mouth?”

“Guys why is Tim weird-”

“He’s always weird Duke, I’ve seen him stay up for seventy-two hours just to prove a point.”

“No but there’s something really, really weird about-”

“I’m fine Duke, it’s just a little side effect from the Lazarus water.”

“Wait, the what?”

“The what?” Bruce’s voice ripped through the air, silencing everyone.

Danny frowned. This wasn’t technically something he was supposed to do, but…as the younger twin, he felt it was his responsibility to also inconvenience Tim. His job description was to be a sibling of this family, and a younger sibling he would be. He’d been a little brother once before, and he’d gladly do it again. To the fullest extent of his abilities.

Also he felt like Tim should have asked for help regarding his stalker problem ages ago.

“Well, Ra’s keeps trying to woo me and chases me around Gotham. I was bound to get dosed at some point, it’s not my fault.”

The chaos that ensued after that statement did Danny’s heart some serious good. Yes, this was perfect.

~~~~~~~~~

The batplane was a fun experience. Genuinely; Danny hadn’t gotten to enjoy the flight over to Gotham, and flying was fun no matter the form it took.

“Drake.”

Oh, Danny had been looking forward to this one.

“Wayne.” Danny responded, fighting to keep the joy out of his mouth.

He got to be the big brother this time. Him! Damian was a tiny terror, but he had nothing on the chaos gremlin that was Dani. There was only one thing Danny could do here; destroy Damian’s composure.

“Good, you know my name-”

“Yet you don’t seem to know mine,” Danny sighed, putting on his best disappointed face, “You keep saying Drake but never the full thing; Drake-Wayne.”

Behind Damian Dick was mouthing words at Danny. Probably such words that would tell Danny to behave.

What a pity that ‘Big Brother’ did not mean ‘Parent’, then. Not that Danny had such a good reputation for listening to his parents, and Tim never listened to Bruce anyways.

“I refuse to call you a name that you do not deserve-”

“Hey Bruce, did I trick you into signing my adoption papers?” Danny called out over Damian, drawing Bruce’s attention away from talking to Jason, allowing a shit-eating grin to stretch out over his face.

“No, Tim.”

“Hey Bruce, am I still adopted?”

“Yes, Tim.”

“Hey Bruce, are you gonna send me back-”

“Tim, we’ve been over this. There is nothing you could do that would make me overturn my decision. You are a part of this family, emancipated or not, and there is no escape.”

Huh. While that answer had been a bit more passionate than Danny had expected, it still worked.

“Sounds like I earned the name, Dami.”

Damian’s face was growing red with rage. Luckily, Danny knew just what to do to make it worse; by layering on sarcasm.

“But don’t worry, as your big brother I understand that it is my duty to lead by example. So I forgive you, el-witwaat, for your mistakes. Maybe when you’re older, you won’t make such obvious oversi-”

Danny jerked to the side, dodging the knife and breaking out into slightly hysterical laughter.

“I will find you this week,” Damian hissed, his arms restrained by Dick, “And I will kill you.”

“Timothy, stop antagonizing Damian. Damian, stop threatening Tim.” Bruce sounded every bit the tired dad he was.

“But he-!”

“What was that name you called him?” Duke interrupted, turning his seat. Damian let out a wordless cry of rage, struggling with Dick to get out of the chair so he could presumably stab Danny into silence.

“Oh, what name?” Danny asked, resting his chin in his hand and watching Damian with a wide smile. “Do you mean Dami? That’s the nickname that Dick gave him. Or-oh, wait; did you mean el-witwaat?”

“Cease this at once! Richard let me go-!”

“Sorry Duke, it’s a nickname that only I get to use on him.”

Damian froze, narrowing his eyes at Danny suspiciously. Good. He was right to be suspicious, because Danny wasn’t done.

“But it means the sound that a bat wing makes when it’s flapping. It basically means flip-flap.”

“That’s adorable,” Dick breathed, accidentally letting go of their youngest.

Bruce had to put the plane on autopilot to wrangle Damian and force their youngest to calm down.

~~~~~

The week of training was largely uneventful. For Danny, at least.

Danny found out he could still turn invisible and density shift, and promptly spent the entire time reenacting the poltergeist movie on his new siblings.

Jason kept waking up in entirely different parts of the forest they’d chosen, miles away from the checkpoints. Jason had opted to not sleep, which was doing wonders for the ‘ragged and deranged’ look he was going for.

Danny’s personal favorite moment was pretending to walk into a clearing just as Jason was waking up, surrounded by sticks, and idly commenting “Wow Jason, it looks like you’re in a…sticky situation.”

The wordless screech of rage had been music to Danny’s ears.

Damian was driving himself into the ground trying to hunt down Danny, who just maintained invisibility and density shifting to keep just out of Damians reach for literal hours each day before leaving to mess with the others.

Danny took great pride in that he managed to tuck Damian in every night without waking him up, thoroughly confusing the little demon just as much as he was bruising the kid’s ego.

Duke was left alone. Not because Danny thought he should be spared from their sibling bonding exercise, but because he’d see Danny coming thanks to his powers. There was literally no way for Danny to sneak up on him, and he was pretty sure Duke had clocked him as Not Tim anyways.

Dick lost his socks. All of them. Even the ones on his feet. Then Dick lost his sleeping bag. Finally, Danny collected as many spiders as he could and tucked them away, all neat and tidy, into Dick’s bag.

Dick had been an asshole, and justice needed to be served.

Danny did not feel satisfied or vindicated, however, as when Dick opened his bag and was met with the spiders, all he did was nod and step back to allow them to escape, only saying “Yeah, I deserved that. Good job Tim, I didn’t see you at all!”

Danny retreated. He’d have to have a planning session with Tim to plan a way to get back at Dick properly, then.

Cass was spared out of fear.

Bruce, though. Bruce was approached differently.

If Danny used his powers, there was a chance that the Detective would pin Danny as Not Tim, and with insufficient evidence there was a risk of being seen as a threat. Danny very much wanted to avoid an interrogation.

So Danny had opted to leave his new-old drivers license on the plane as the group was dropped off at various points; he knew the Bat as well as Tim. He knew that Bruce would find the ID, knew he would search it, and knew he wouldn’t say a word until he was sure about something.

And Danny, thanks to Tim’s memories in his mind, also knew that Bruce would never admit to a mistake as big as missing the fact that your adopted son was a twin. Bruce would try to guess who was who, and pretend like he’d known the entire time.

When Danny had stopped by the Base Camp to check in, Bruce had three tablets in front of him, all with information on Danny, and was cradling his head in his hands.

The only thing he heard Bruce say was something about possible brain damage, dimension travel, and messing up the time stream.

Then Bruce had frozen and scrambled for one of the tablets.

Danny decided he’d seen enough, and he was missing out on Damian time.

By the time the week was up, Cass and Duke looked refreshed, Danny accomplished but exhausted, and Dick, Jason, and Damian nearly crawled their way into Base Camp.

And Bruce?

Bruce refused to meet Danny’s eyes, and tried every way possible to avoid saying the name ‘Tim’, but also avoided saying ‘Danny’. Good. He wasn’t sure which one Danny was.

The groundwork had been laid.

Danny felt like patting himself on the back; this was a job well-done.

~~~~~~

Upon Danny’s return to the Nest, he and Tim compared notes about everything that had happened over a nice cup of coffee.

“Oh, also I’m pretty sure Bruce thinks that he fucked up the time line when he was trapped, and that that’s why he doesn’t remember me.”

“Oh! That’s perfect! Yes, that’ll stop him from mentioning it to anyone else. We’re in the clear to proceed as normal.”

The future was bright, and the road to happiness was paved with their family’s confusion.

@terzatheunderscorerima @darkbiscuitvoidstudent @akikkobara @reach-for-the-horizon @bitter-coffeecup @moodycow210 @kisatamao @thefantasmarex

#dcxdp #dpxdc #tim and danny pretend to be twins au #phanfic #TWINcognito mode

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heyclickadee · 7 months

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Aaaaaaaannnd it looks like my inevitable biennial Darkwing Duck phase just hit. Apologies in advance. I am probably going to be annoying.

So! Darkly Dawns the Duck:

1. Who do I have to kill to get the original opening scene back in with the rest of the episode? Like. That little action sequence is a perfect way to introduce the character and the show. Almost everything you need to know is right there. Darkwing is a mildly bumbling adrenaline junkie who’s just barely good enough at his “job” to get things done. Also, it’s a cartoon; the violence is made up and the injuries don’t matter. Unless they do.

2. Almost everything you need to know. The rest of everything you need to is in the very next scene where Darkwing is hamming it up, handing glossies to a cop, and lamenting the fact that he spent all afternoon ironing is cape now that there’s nary a reporter in sight.

3. Darkwing narrates his life and monologues to himself. He’s such a tool. I love it.

4. Listen, I’m aware that Tad Stones is very much a Silver Age comics guy, and that this cartoon is completely uninterested in explaining how, exactly, Darkwing pays for, you know, all his very expensive equipment (besides moonlighting as a freelance SHUSH agent from time to time), because it’s just not that kind of show, but I’m interested. (Honestly, the more ridiculous the explanation, the better.)

5. How long did it take Darkwing to put together everything for the breakfast routine? I mean, it’s not as though he has a life outside of being Darkwing, so I guess he’d have time. But still.

6. I always forget Tim Curry is in this. Taurus Bulba is slightly less funny and unhinged than you’re typical Darkwing villain, but he’s honestly half of what makes this intro episode work. He’s a little more serious, so the stakes feel a little higher.

7. Aaaaand Darkwing’s still monologuing to himself. As he does.

8. The fourth wall is paper thin.

9. “Clever of me to use my spine to break my fall.” — Tech Badbatch, probably.

10. More (less?) seriously, last time I hit the inevitable biennial Darkwing Duck phase, I kept trying to find a Darkwing Duck podcast to listen to, and I kept getting frustrated, because the hosts kept talking about this show the same way they would about, say, Batman: The Animated Series or Young Justice. Yes, they’re all animated, yes, they’re all about superheroes, and yes, they all stretch physical reality to some extent, but Darkwing Duck exists in an entirely different genre than the other two. Heck, it’s even in a slightly different genre than the original DuckTales series.

It’s a cartoon—a cartoon grounded by an emotional center in the relationship between Gosalyn and Darkwing—but a cartoon along the lines of the old Looney Tunes shorts nonetheless. Like. No, Darkwing doesn’t have secret superpowers. He gets anvils dumped on his head until he gets over himself every episode because it’s funny. The laws of physics as well as any danger of real physical harm coming to the characters is dependent entirely on the emotional needs of the scene at hand, and the emotional needs of the scene at hand tend to be rooted in comedy. Same goes for continuity. I may or may not be a hypocrite about this at times.

11. So I just hit the part where Darkwing and Launchpad meet and good lord, Darkwing really is a jerk and Launchpad really is a golden retriever.

12. I love how Bulba just casually mentions that his henchmen murdered Gosalyn’s grandpa.

13. Speaking of Gosalyn….

14. Man, I love Gosalyn. I love that she’s kind of a “problem”, that she tends to act out, that she’s a handful, and that she’s clearly upset by having been told that she’s a problem by the adults in her life (by the ones at the orphanage, anyway). She’s an outgoing but clearly lonely kid, and one of the very few kids from any shows from this era that actually feels like a kid.

15. Okay, yeah, I know I just went on a rant about cartoons, but adult me panics every time I watch the part where Gos realizes that Hammerhead is there to kidnap her.

16. Just an observation, but Darkwing is way more…I don’t know, personable with Gosalyn once they get back to his hideout than he was with Launchpad in that earlier scene. He’s still self aggrandizing and sarcastic, but he’s not nearly as caustic. (For now.) I’m honestly not sure he knows how to talk to other adults in a “normal” way when he’s doing the Darkwing thing, which is more or less all the time.

17. Aaaaand I’m reading too much into it now. Back to the funny.

18. I paused and now I can’t breathe

Look at this idiot.

19. I love that Taurus Bulba just happens to have an airship shaped like his face. In prison. Just because.

20. Photos taken moments before disaster

21. “You should have seatbelts, too!” Blink twice if the S&P department is making you say that, Gos.

22. That said, it is actually really sweet that Darkwing does end up taking the helmet Gos found when he rides off a few scenes later. (

23. Little girl blue 🥹

24. Okay but WHY did Dr. Waddlemeyer make a Simon Says the control panel for his levitation ray?

25. Man, Darkwing is such an insecure jackass.

26. Listen to the kid, my dude.

27. See? That’s what you get! (Darkwing really deserves the dressing down Bulba gives him in this scene. Also: Does he make funny accordion noises when he gets squished like that?)

28. Why do I get the feeling that if this episode came out today and was a Star War that people would be complaining about how hard it was for Bulba’s hitmen to catch a ten year old?

29. Honestly, I love how they thread the needle of Gosalyn being perfectly capable of handling herself and yet still being a kid who may eventually need help if the problem gets too big.

30. Oh, the jail scene. I’m still annoyed that the most unhinged part of Darkwing’s monologue is missing (the episodes on the DVDs and streaming and elsewhere that I’ve found are the ones that ran in syndication. And, for Darkly Dawns the Duck, that means it was cut in two and chopped up to fit in the syndication time slot, so there are a few scenes missing. The ones I miss most are the opening and part of the jail monologue), but what’s left is still probably the most honest thing Darkwing says about himself the whole show. There’s something about him that’s just. Deeply maladjusted. And it’s great. I love it. 10/10, no notes.

31. Nope, got serious again. Time for Launchpad to bring the funny.

32. Launchpad made a damn stealth plane shaped like Darkwing’s head. Just because.

33. Ah yes, the tried and true Darkwing method of combat: throwing yourself bodily at the enemy and shouting nonsense.

34. I always somehow forget that Bulba just decides he’s gonna murder a kid for kicks. He’s got the code by that point, he doesn’t need her anymore, and he doesn’t need to twist Darkwing’s arm to get anything. He’s just gonna kill Gosalyn. It’s just child murder time. And it feels like Gosalyn’s in danger because, again, the rules of physics apply depending on the emotional needs of the scene.

35. “Mom was right. I should have been a dental hygienist.” That is such a random line and I kind of love it.

36. Sorry to being this back around the The Bad Batch because, again, this show is a completely different genre of animated show, but Gosalyn’s little, “He couldn’t be…,” when she sees the ramrod destroy the top of that skyscraper and take Bulba and Darkwing with it reminded my of the fact that when a child protagonist in a show for children says something like that about a semi or fully parental figure thought to be dead, they’re almost always right. No, I will not let this go. This hiatus is so long.

37. This orphanage director really is just. The worst. “Oh, sorry you won’t through a traumatic life changing experience kid, don’t understand why you’re too upset to talk to anyone today. Your loss I guess.” Like seriously.

38. Yes! The pink shirt and the sweater vest.

39. Darkwing is so aggressively dweeby. 10/10, no notes. Again.

40. I mean, okay, his name’s Drake Mallard, sure, and that’s how he’s introducing himself to the orphanage director here, but. Like. I like both versions, but OG Darkwing is Darwing first, and Drake Mallard second. DT17 Darkwing is Drake Mallard first, and Darkwing second. If that makes sense.

41. Okay, so, I understand that OG Darkwing and Launchpad are sort of the Kirk and Spock of the Disney Afternoon, but I don’t really ship them. I just don’t get the vibe (again, from the OG versions—DT17 versions have a different vibe). That said, I do kind of love the idea that there’s nothing going on between them but that everyone who knows both of them just assumes that they’re a gay couple raising their daughter, and they both know it and are fine with people thinking that.

42. This isn’t how adoption works but it’s okay it’s a cartoon and it’s very sweet.

#darkwing duck #I’m sorry #give it a month and it’ll be out of my system #I’m not going to watch every episode #or do this for every episode I watch #but. uh. there will be more #don’t worry the bad batch isn’t going anywhere #I just briefly have too many thoughts about the silly cape duck show

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ali-kitkat · 4 years

Text

Audacity Ch 4

First Previous

The room was silent for a moment before Jason erupted with laughter, falling over and landing on the floor. Marinette didn’t spare him a second glance as Damian retrieved the ring.

“No offence Pixie Pop, but you’re not exactly terrifying as is. Also how exactly is a ring supposed to help ‘rip him a new asshole’ as you put it?” Jason asked, composing himself as Damian tossed the ring to her. she slipped the ring on and closed her eyes before the flash of light blinded her.

“Hey pigtails.” A nasally voice spoke sheepishly.

“Hello Plagg.” She replied softly, holding out her hand for him to land on. The mutters from the boys were quite funny to hear, but her focus was on reassuring Plagg. “It’s not your fault Adrien betrayed us.”

“He was my kitten, bug. I should’ve known something was going on when he started to clam up with me.” Plagg cried, lowering himself into her hand. His words became unrecognizable as he blubbered about Adrien’s failings.

“What the fuck is that?”

“He is what is going to help me with Adrien. The miraculous are magic, and they’re powered by kwamis. Plagg here is the kwami of destruction and bad luck. Adrien originally held the ring, before he, you know, recreated the timeline.” She answered.

“Plagg, what say you? Are you up for a little revenge?” Marinette grinned. It was feral and unsettling which caused the boys to take a step back. Plagg, grinned back just as feral; the boys, with a silent look, decided that messing with Marinette was bound to get you maimed.

“Hold up, this thing—” Jason started.

“He’s a kwami.” Marinette said, cutting him off as Plagg hissed in his direction.

“My bad, the kwami can help you how? Also how exactly did Adrien rewrite the universe?” He continued.

“When used properly and depending on which miraculous are combined they can manipulate time, emotions, and bend the fabric of reality. Plagg here can help me transform when I say a particular phrase.” She explained, the grin still in place.

“A phrase? Can you demonstrate?” Dick asked, his family nodded their heads in agreement. Their curiosity peaked; magic was always an interesting thing to see.

“Close your eyes, when transforming the miraculous gives out the same light as when it’s been activated, similar to the one you all saw before.” Marinette gave confirmation and gestured for them to move back. After they all had taken a step back, she spoke. “Plagg, transform me!”

The flash of light was over and when she looked down at the suit, she saw how different it was from the first time she wore it. Her chest was more armored, and the gloves were weighted around the knuckles, and when she flexed her fingers the claws came out. She had actual boots this time! They were steel toed with metatarsal guards; they were heavier. The damage she could deal was eliciting a small squeal from her. Which had caused the others to open their eyes.

“Oh shit. Did she get a pair SAP gloves?”

Glancing at each of their faces was interesting, Tim and Dick were shocked. They had a little fear in their eyes as well. Jason was smiling, except he wasn’t looking at her; his eyes were trained on Damian. His mouth hung low and his eyes, which had been relieved of the mask, were wide like she had personally spun the universe.

“Close your mouth Demon Spawn, you’re going to catch flies.” Jason teased. Damian broke out of his stupor to glare at him as the other brothers started cackling. “You know, we didn’t think that Bruce’s taste in women was genetic, but this proves that theory wrong. Turns out you like dangerous women just as much as he does.”

“Todd, I swear to god—”

“Alright boys that’s enough. Jason stop teasing Damian. Marinette, what exactly is your plan to get the earrings back?” Bruce cut in, interrupting the argument that was bound to end up in a fight. Though the teasing was mildly amusing.

“Adrien is unhinged at the moment. He’s going to want the ring back, but he’s also going to want to show me that he’s my knight. I’m bait.” Marinette explained.

“Is that wise to put yourself and the miraculous in a vicinity so close to him?”

“Probably not, but I know I’m not letting him get away with what he did. He’s obsessed with me and that’s a weakness I can exploit, which means I’ve got a higher chance of winning. His desperation won’t win him any favors.”

*~*~*~*

The plan had been simple, Marinette was to take to the rooftops in order to lure Adrien out. Paris hadn’t seen the heroes since the timeline was rewritten and seeing a girl running around on the roofs of Paris was bound to gain some eyes. Especially since she was laughing as she did so. She had been out for an hour at most before Adrien had made his appearance.

“Ah, there you are milady.”

“Tsk, not your lady. You know that.”

“You will be when I get that ring. Give it back.” He growled, lunging for her. A wild look in his eyes as he did so. She ducked under his arms, kicking him in the back of the knees as she did so. He fell to the ground in a daze.

“Aw are things not going your way,” She taunted. “Is someone getting a little hissy? Catch me if you can.” She took off. The next step of the plan was to have Adrien follow her, which wouldn’t be hard if the desperate look in his eyes was any indication.

She knew the rooftops well. As did he, but the head start she had put her well out of reach. Not enough that he couldn’t spot her silhouette though. Hearing the yo-yo behind her swing out she changed her direction and slid down the angled roof. Her plan was off to a great start and it was simple, she was the bait, and Damian and his family were the babysitters so to speak. Not for her but for when she took the earrings from Adrien.

Adrien followed her through Paris, he had almost grabbed her by the ankle. Only deterred by her extending the baton and slamming it onto his hand.

*~*~*~*

She landed in the area she chose. It was abandoned, an empty factory. A place worthy for a final showdown she mused. She stood tall and stared up at Adrien.

He tackled her as he descended, knocking her to the ground. A little out of breath she twisted in his hold, rearing her back into his. Effectively headbutting him in the face and knocking him loose, off of her. Standing she punched him, hitting him in the stomach and hearing an exhale of air. He inhaled quickly while she snatched the yo-yo from his waist, stretching his legs out her knocked hers out from under her.

She quickly caught herself, he knocked her down again just as she stood back on two feet. She grabbed the baton from the square of her back and extended it into him, throwing him away from her. She retracted the baton before he could get a chance to grab it. Flinging the yo-yo in the air she pulled herself onto a beam above him. She threw the yo-yo again, this time at him, lassoing it around his feet pulling them out from under him. She pulled him up into the air, using the beam as a pulley and jumped down to face him.

“It’s over Adrien.” She said staring him in the eyes. He was glaring at her and swinging his body towards hers.

“It’s not over until I get that ring.” He snarled. “I told you. You are mine and that’s not changing.”

“It is.” She sighed. Taking the baton in her other hand, she hit him across the face with it knocking him out. Letting the yo-yo slip out of her hand she let his limp body hit the ground. The yo-yo dematerialized as she removed the earrings from his ears.

A memory resurfaced as she de-transformed and Plagg landed on her head. If my mother had never slipped into that coma then my father never would have become Papillion. Curses had begun to spill from her lips as she paced in front of Adrien’s unconscious form. There was a low whistle from her left, turning she saw Damian and his family.

“Damn it, he still has another two miraculous.” She said, slipping the earrings onto her earlobes. Tikki had materialized in front of her and flew directly into her cheek. Cupping the kwami in her hands, she let her cry her relief at being freed from Adrien.

“What do mean another two?”

“The miracle box has a variety of miraculous in it, but Fu, the guardian, lost two when he fled from the temple in Tibet, the butterfly and the peacock miraculous.” She explained while rifling through Adrien’s pockets finding nothing. “Gabriel never would have become Papillion if Emilie hadn’t slipped into a coma in the previous timeline. Papillion had an ally called Mayura, who now that I think about it, I’m sure is Nathalie Sancoeur. That never happened here, so that means Adrien either has the two missing miraculous or Fu does. Hand me some zip-ties. I don’t want Adrien to do anything stupid when he wakes up.”

Tim handed her a pair, setting Adrien’s arms behind his back she zip-tied his wrists as tightly as she could. Snagging another from Damian she did his ankles next, she was still pissed at him after all.

*~*~*~*

Tag List: Don’t forget to let me know if you want to be added or removed, my ask box is open!

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#maribat #damian x marinette #maridami #daminette #marinette x damian #slow burn #slowburn daminette #ml/dc crossover #ali-kitkat's writing #my writing

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chronicbatfictioner · 6 years

Text

A Real Boy - Chapter 4

"I don't know about going to Bruce Wayne, Tim... I mean, Clark said he's... unhinged." Conner told him. "A non-magi who obtained magi powers and use it to do good behind a mask? Really? If I don't know consequences of my action and whatnot, I'd probably use my powers to like, rule the world or something."

"And do what with the world under your orders? Make them allow you eat french fries and milkshakes at every meal?" Tim retorted.

"Oh no, that's Bart. But I could, you know." Conner replied nonchalantly. "But fries and shakes should be every day meal, anyway, along with bacon. I don't see why not. And for the love of all things mighty, while we're on the subject: in bacon we trust. I don't understand the concept of vegan bacon. If it's called bacon, it should have been made of animal parts. If there's no animal in it, it's veggie chips."

"City people don't burn as much calories on daily basis as you do, farmboy." Jason quipped. "Or like a speedster. But anyway, matter at hand! We - or more specifically, I - don't see Wayne as dangerous, and as you've pointed out yourself, he's been trying to resolve the issues between the faes and other kinds for quite a good long time now."

"He still gets his magi powers through an exchange with the devil or something, and I don't like it." Conner pointed out.

"Actually, he didn't make exchanges. He trained for his magi. You know that there are plenty of loose magical powers everywhere, right?" Jason tested.

"No?" Tim and Conner replied in unison, in the same tone. "How does that work?" Tim wanted to know.

"People like your dad, Tim, when they denied their heritage, their... essence-- or their mana, if you'd rather; would depart their bodies and just... leave. Other people can catch it through years - if not decades - of extensive training and make it their own." Jason explained. "On people like Wayne, the manifestation of the magick won't be as strong as those who was born with it. But it's there."

"Your dad was a witch? I thought it was your mom..." Conner commented.

"No, she wasn't. She was... a fae, apparently." Tim told him hesitantly. Conner - like all of his other friends, never asked of where their parents came from. Tim knew of his friends' heritage, largely because he looked them up. But they had never asked for his, and he has never told. Heck, he had only found out that his dad was a magi and mom was a fae when Jason told him. He was not sure of how Conner would react.

"Oh cool," was Conner's reaction. Tension promptly left Tim's body as he released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. Jason's hand pressed on his back helped, as Jason seemed to notice Tim's tenseness even before Tim did. "So anyway, when a homo-magi denied their heritage - what does that even mean? I mean how could you just go up and say, 'dude, what even is magick and I don't want it kthanksbye'? Isn't it like saying something along the line of 'hey, I'm not Asian' in spite of like, having actual Asian-origin parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and so on?"

"Yeeeah, not so much. The essence is not visible, right? Unlike your Asian or African or European heritage that can be seen through your hair, eyes, or skin color. It's more like..." Jason paused as he searched for a comparison. "I dunno... More like the wolf saying I'm not wild therefore I'm not a wolf, but a dog?"

"Oookay..." Conner glared at Jason contemplatively. "Weird, but I can actually digest that. Surprise. Okay, so someone like Tim's dad forsaken his essence, and said essence just do a free-flow around the world until someone like Bruce Wayne come around and snatched it?"

"That-- is the very short nutshell version of it. Like a single-nut's shell." Jason almost snickered.

"But it's not gonna be necessarily Tim's dad's essence?" Conner clarified.

"No, not necessarily." Jason confirmed. "That was just an example."

"So Bruce Wayne had actually trained and get his magick essence." Tim remarked. "Why him? I mean, there's got to be more people like him, right? People who has trained hard and earned magickal abilities."

"Yes and no. Yes, there are people like him who'd trained hard and get a magickal essence. But most of them would have sacrificed something - or someone - to get to where Bruce is. The best those others could do is maybe make a rabbit come out of a hat. Or lasers out of their fingers or eyes or whatever orifice they opted it to come out from. And I could only name a very small handful who would use it to protect others."

That logic Tim could understand. Nobody who lived in Gotham hasn't heard of Bruce Wayne, the metaphorical 'Prince' of Gotham. The only heir of Wayne family after five solid generations of money that built Gotham City. Bruce had lost his parents to murder that happened in a robbery gone bad when he was ten. And after a stint-slash-disappearing overseas, he reemerged in Gotham some years ago and stated right away that he was going to fix it. He has been pouring money and effort and support and all that is needed to rebuild Gotham from the slum it was once to the metropolitan city it is today.

The magi side of Tim, however, knew that the money and effort and support and planning were not the only things Bruce Wayne had given. Once upon a time, Tim had seen Bruce out at night, wearing a bat mask that covered half his face and cape that flowed around him menacingly. He was working in stopping magi-based crimes. The lore of the 'Bat-man' has been around since Tim was about three or four, and a few years ago, he had finally managed to see it on his own.

There were many monsters - to put it mildly - that were stopped by Bruce's alter ego before they could hurt their prey. Vampirical magis who had tried to use blood or other humans' life or fear to boost their powers; demonic misfits who only wanted to destroy and hurt others for their own benefit; miscreant goblins and hoarders who did not care for the non-magis in lieu of possession of random artifacts or cursed objects, and abandoned mystical beasts that needed to feed after they were discarded by their previous owners.

Yes, Bruce Wayne has done a lot of good for Gotham. But still, he was a warlock - someone who hunts magical beings and creatures. Even if he had - so far - done it behind a mask and only toward magis who abused their powers, Tim was a magi. Likewise with his teammates. Cassie's magick might be more... tolerable for Wayne, known for his association with Cassie's mentor, Diana Prince. But Rachel? Rachel was a full-on demon with a demon as her dad.

Which made it a not-good idea to cross path with Bruce Wayne, a warlock.

The only thing Tim would have asked, if he would ever cross Bruce Wayne in person - preferably in private, is why would he hide his face. It's not like the authorities would do anything to stop him if they knew it was him, anyway. A magi could probably tell right away who he was, mask or no mask. He was fooling no one in Tim's side of the world.

"Yeeeah, regardless. Clark said he's pretty hard on his stance against magickal things. Claimed he'd only used his abilities to contain rogue magicks. Personally, I'm not comfortable that you'd bring Tim to him. He's... he could find out about our gang." Conner argued.

"Annnd... your gang isn't exactly a 'bad kids' gang', anyway. What's your problem?" Jason countered.

"He doesn't sound like someone who could be reasoned with." Conner deadpanned.

"He's a Gothamite born and bred." Jason countered.

"Eh, he's got a point." Tim shrugged. Gothamites were not people to be reasoned with. They just do things or don't do things. "'Sides, that's kind of exactly what I'm like." he added.

"You can still be reasoned with," Conner argued.

"I'm also sixteen. Wayne is-- what? In his 30s? He's got to have a lot more experience and reasons why he can't be reasoned with. All I would need to do is talk to him and tell him of Jason's warning. It stands to reason that he'd never heard of anything like this if he doesn't have a familiar."

Conner sighed exasperatedly. "Fine," he eventually said. "But please remember, once Wayne knows of us, we may not be safe. So please, please, please, please leave the lot of us out of this."

"That's a lot of 'please'," Jason commented.

"That's to emphasize just how much I mean it." Conner retorted.

"Okay! Oh my goddess, you don't have to be dramatic!"

"Besides, who said he hasn't known about you all, yet?" Jason grinned impishly, and Tim felt like tossing the coffee pot to his head when Jason turned to him and warned. "Don't. Even."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Tell me his personality is generic and isn't an aspect of mine." he told Conner.

"No, you're a lot more fun and less sass." Conner replied, and then frowned; "...or is it more sass and less fun? Or more fund - with a 'd'? Anyway, no he's not like you."

"That's a relief..." Tim dryly remarked. "...at least I know that you think highly of my funding abilities."

"Hey, I'm just a poor farm boy." Conner replied, smiling sweetly.

"...so you relinquished your dignity to let Tim be your sugar daddy. Yay." Jason quipped.

The coffeepot came flying toward Jason's head manually, courtesy of Conner, and Jason cackled while avoiding it.

"Guys, really..." Tim sighed, glaring forlornly at the spilled coffee. Nary a drop of it had hit Jason, nor the pot that he had caught neatly. But there was a large line of coffee puddle across the living room now. "You two derps better clean that up, or I'll throw something bigger and heavier and magickal-er next!"

#Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Magi!AU #JayTim #Conner Kent #bruce weber #no-capeAU

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