#to be fair. stories and 'motion' (through the use of comics or animations) are far easier ways to convey things like suspense n stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alienheartattack · 4 years

Text

In the Spider’s Web (NSFW)

Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. After literal years of feeling uninspired by ship stuff (the manga is so far beyond shipping at this point that I now ship Mikasa with years of therapy), I went through my drafts and found a few attempts at the prequel to Things That Go Bump in the Night. To catch you up: modern AU, Levi is a vampire, Mikasa has been hunting him since he murdered Eren, then boners occur. And this time, thanks to the Comic Sans trick, I was able to bang out just under 5000 words of Rivamika vampire/hunter fun.

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written smut or even prose in general (I’ve been writing exclusively for stage and screen for the last 3 years) so I’m feeling kinda self-conscious that I may have lost my fanfic mojo or whatever. I usually don’t press for feedback but I would really love some this time around if you have the time. I hope you enjoy the story!

CW: death, gory injuries, getting drunk on blood, and straight up fuckin’.

Mikasa has to stifle a wild howl of laughter when she finally picks the lock on the blacked-out skylight atop the vampire's lair. This is it, she thinks, the culmination of her hard work to kill the man — No, not the man, the monster — who killed her brother. A flash of memory quickly stifles her silent celebration: the now-familiar sight of the shell that used to be Eren. The seemingly fathomless well of her sorrow threatens to overflow as she remembers the details she has tried so hard to forget: his golden skin turned to ash; his dimmed green eyes wide with surprise, staring infinitely into the void. Mikasa takes a few long, deep breaths, sucking in lungfuls of chilly October air until the image fades from her mind and she can devote herself entirely to her task.

The vampire's name is Levi, and even the most debased and inhuman Kindred speak of him in awed tones. Through her work with the Hunter Corps, Mikasa has learned of his legend: that he can puncture a mortal's throat and have the poor sack of meat half-drained before they realize they’ve been bitten. That he is faster, stronger, more cunning, and more ruthless than any of his kind. That he will not hesitate to display his physical and mental superiority to anyone, be they human, Kindred, or Hunter.

Tonight, Mikasa plans to drive a stake through the heart of the legend. She has followed him for over a year, tracking his movements and shadowing him as he prowled the streets of the City, hunting for prey. She has tried to kill him twice before, and twice he has held her off — but not hurt or killed her. Mikasa finds it peculiar that she has not yet met her fate at the end of his fangs, but has never considered why. The motivations of a monster are of no interest to her.

It has taken her far too long, by her estimation, to come up with this plan. She will hide on his roof at night while he finds his next meal, then wait for sunrise and sneak into his lair to kill him while he sleeps. She prefers to dispatch her quarries in a fair fight, pitting her impressive speed and skill against supernatural ability, but with Levi, her need for revenge outweighs her honorable convictions.

Mikasa watches the first rays of dawn creep over the horizon, chasing away the cerulean darkness with streaks of crimson. She takes the bloody sky as a good omen. According to her watch, it is 6:37 AM, just a few minutes before sunrise. Levi should be at his most vulnerable after falling into his daily slumber.

Time to go, she thinks, steeling herself for her mission.

She smiles a rictus grin as she slowly opens the skylight, careful not to let its hinges creak. Holding her breath, she climbs inside the building, finding a series of metal rungs to guide her down fifty feet into Levi's lair, and closes the skylight behind her. Her boot-clad toes seek soft contact with the next rung as she climbs down silently, languorously, like a stalking cat. Every few moments she stops to listen for his movements, to look down and see whether he is lying in wait for her. She hears nothing and sees nothing, so she continues.

The room below serves as some sort of ceremonial dining hall, with a long wooden table stretching across most of the room. Ornately carved wooden chairs sit around it, with the largest and most intricate chair at the far end: Levi's seat, undoubtedly. The table is set for a banquet with a multitude of plates, wine glasses, and silverware at each seat; empty silver candlesticks and candelabras run down the length of the highly polished oak. The hall is lit with hundreds of flickering candles in sconces and chandeliers, providing a dramatic backdrop to the priceless works of art contained within: painted portraits in gilt frames, marble sculptures, antiquities on pedestals and in glass cases. It is a museum of opulence, of corruption. Mikasa's stomach turns as she surveys the scene, imagining the countless people who gave their blood and their lives for Levi to amass a collection to rival the world's greatest museums.

And then, while she is deep in thought and dangling ten feet above the heavy wooden table, one of the metal rungs comes loose from its moorings — and Mikasa falls.

She has the forethought not to yelp in surprise as she pitches away from the wall, but cannot help herself from crying out as she lands on her side on top of the table, ceramic plates and crystal goblets shattering beneath her weight. Mikasa lies there, the wind knocked out of her, unable to take a breath from pain and shock. After a few moments, she regains her senses and groans as she registers a new pain; no, two of them, a dull ache in her ribs and a sharpness in her thigh. She feels around her thigh with shaking hands until agony surges through her and she finds the source of the pain: one of the silver candlesticks has pierced clean through her leg, its heavy base embedded in her hamstring muscles and its fluted tip sticking out through her toned quadriceps.

"Noooo," she moans. Even if Levi is not there, he will return any moment to see her served to him on his dining room table, bleeding and ready to be devoured. Mikasa attempts to sit up but finds that the slightest motion hurts so much that her vision starts to go white around the edges and hot tears stream down her cheeks. Even breathing hurts, sending stabbing pains through her side as she tries to catch her breath.

"So that's what you've been scheming, little fly," comes Levi's disembodied voice, slithering out from the room’s flickering dimness. Mikasa tries to summon the last of her strength to move, to do anything but lie there and suffer, but she can only raise herself a few inches before she lets out a tortured, feral scream, a wild animal cornered at last.

"Surely your feeble human brain can still form words. You're badly injured, but you're not dead yet," he says in a sharp, mocking tone, materializing seemingly from thin air next to her. "Emphasis on 'yet.'"

Mikasa takes in a shaky breath, rage and agony coursing through her in equal measure. "Fuck… you… Levi," she spits.

"For the record, that's not a sufficient apology for smashing my property and getting your blood all over my table." He goes to speak but pauses when he registers the scent of her blood, meaty and potent and alive, more delicious than anything he's ever smelled before.

"Your blood," he repeats, softer this time. "Oh, god." He groans under his breath, suddenly feeling weak in the knees as a potent hunger unfurls in his belly. Levi's expression starts to shift: his eyes widen and his mouth goes slack, exposing the tips of his fangs. His pupils dilate, inky black overtaking the otherworldly silver hue of his irises. He approaches her slowly, seemingly floating towards her, his eyes locked on her impaled thigh.

"Kill me," she grunts. "Just get it over with."

"No," Levi says, his voice hushed, almost reverent. "I don't want to kill you like this." He reaches one pale hand toward Mikasa and she attempts to roll away from him, crying out wordlessly at the waves of torment wracking her broken body. But he does not touch her: instead, his finger finds a spatter of her blood on the wooden tabletop and wipes it away, placing his finger between his parted lips.

The sensation that hits him is so unexpected and overwhelming that it nearly brings him to his knees. He almost comes in his pants just from anticipation; the fraction of a second it takes for his finger to enter his mouth feels like ten lifetimes, and he groans in ecstasy as he finally tastes her, all iron and heat. Mikasa's blood sings on his tongue, burning down his throat like the finest whiskey, filling his belly like a sumptuous meal and paradoxically making him even more ravenous for her. He is surprised to find that he does not want to drain her dry; he wants to savor her, coaxing a few drops of blood from her at a time, enrapturing her with the power of his fanged kisses.

Once the intense sensation fades enough that he can think somewhat clearly again, Levi realizes that Mikasa has been watching him the entire time. He meets her gaze, hoping he doesn't look as wild-eyed and utterly undone as he feels. If she notices, then he cannot tell, her face still distorted into a tortured grimace.

"Don't toy with me," Mikasa grinds out from between clenched teeth. Her breath hisses shallowly in and out of her mouth, occasionally punctuated by low moans.

"I'm not," Levi replies coolly. "I want to heal you, and I want you to come back and try to kill me in a fair fight. This..." he motions vaguely towards her curled body, "this isn't fun for me."

Mikasa lets out a guffaw despite herself, then howls as pain radiates through her broken ribs. "Fun? You find this fun?"

"I do," he says. He smiles wide, letting his razor-sharp fangs peek out from between his lips. "Your pathetic attempts to kill me have been fairly humorous, but the irony of you ending up in a bloody heap on my dining table, of all places, is too satisfying to put into words." Levi sucks in a shaky breath, inhaling more of her blood's heady perfume, then leans close to her, his mouth inches from her ear. "I should eat you up," he all but purrs. "But I won't."

With that, he disappears, leaving Mikasa alone in the great hall. She drags her arms, covered in her protective leather jacket, across the tabletop to sweep the shattered plates and glasses onto the floor, sending silverware clattering against the hardwood. She then feels around the tabletop for any other blood she has spilled, wiping it off with her hands before he can drink any more of it. Even if he swears he will not kill her, she does not trust him, especially if he becomes intoxicated on the heady, rich blood of a Hunter.

He reappears a few minutes later, bearing a lacquered wooden tray. On it rests a delicate bone china teapot and two matching teacups and saucers, each painted with a pattern of vines and red roses. The roses look almost obscene to Mikasa, plump and splayed open, ready to be plucked.

"You're bringing me tea?" she sneers as Levi pours a measure of steaming amber brew into each cup. "That's really going to help get this candlestick out of my leg."

"No, but this will," Levi says, raising his wrist to his mouth and slashing it open against his fangs. He positions his hand over the tray as his blood washes over his alabaster skin and into one of the cups, darkening the tea until it looks like wine. He then licks his wrist clean, sealing the gash. Within seconds, his wrist is pale and pristine once more.

Mikasa goggles with disbelief at Levi, who places the cup of blood-tea near her hand. "You want me to drink your blood?"

"Are you just going to state the obvious over and over?" he snaps, earning himself a murderous glare.

"Pardon me for being a bit perplexed at my current situation. I don't usually make a habit of taking tea with the monster I'm trying to kill." Mikasa wrinkles her nose at him, thankful that she’s found one expression of contempt that doesn’t make her entire body ache.

Levi picks up his cup of tea, lifting it by the rim with his slim fingertips, and takes a sip. "Perhaps you should."

"Don't humor me."

"Look. I'm offering you a gift, in exchange for a promise."

"Then it's not a gift," Mikasa grumbles. Levi slams his teacup against the saucer but doesn’t spill a drop. The rattle of china on china echoes throughout the hall.

"Will you shut up? You’re really making me regret not killing you." Mikasa lets out an angry sigh. As much as she doesn’t want to make a deal with Levi, she can see no other way off the table without further injuring or killing herself in the process.

"Fine! Tell me your terms!" she grinds out.

Levi takes a long, slow drink from his cup before he answers. "You drink the tea and walk out of here healed and whole. In exchange, we call a truce. From now until the next sunrise, I don't try to kill you, and you don't try to kill me."

Mikasa considers his proposition, trying to find some flaw or catch. "Why should I believe that you'll honor this agreement?"

"Because if I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead by now," he says, his voice low and raspy, seductive yet poisonous. Levi puts down his teacup and reaches over to her, placing the pad of his index finger on her pulse point just beneath her ear. He feels her heart fluttering, the pulse of her blood through her veins, then traces his finger down the path of her jugular. Mikasa's breath quickens beneath his hand. His caress blazes a path of heat down her neck, into her breasts and belly, and lower.

"Or I can toss you out into the night to defend yourself. I can think of a few Kindred who'd love to get their hands on you." Suddenly he removes his finger from her skin and uses it to push the wine-dark teacup toward her. His gaze bores into her, evoking the same peculiar heated sensation as his touch. "Drink."

She doesn't want his help, doesn't want his blood flowing through her body. She’s read that drinking a vampire’s blood causes a bond between them, albeit an ephemeral one, and she does not want to test this theory for herself. In this moment everything feels too intimate and too perverse to her, the vampire who drained her brother dry offering her tea and sympathy instead of a swift death. But the pain in her body grows with each breath, and she knows that she cannot leave here under her own power. At best she will have months of recovery, at worst she will be permanently unable to continue her hunt. Mikasa reaches out a bloody hand toward the porcelain teacup, but before she can grasp its delicate handle, Levi stops her, capturing her wrist in his grasp.

"You're not touching eighteenth-century bone china with your hands caked in—" he swallows thickly— "filth."

"I can't exactly wash my hands—" Mikasa says, but is cut off by Levi running his tongue over her hand, licking her skin clean. He sucks on each of her fingers in turn, rubbing his lips over her fingertips, lapping at the semi-congealed blood pooled in the hollow of her palm. He lets out a ragged sigh and braces himself against the table with one hand as his cock grows hard again and his knees tremble at the taste of her.

Mikasa is transfixed by the sight before her, Levi's eyelids fluttering closed as he lavishes attention on her skin. She has been this close to him before but has never noticed the length of his eyelashes, the soft pout of his lips, or the raw male power emanating from him. She has been nearly nose to nose with him in a fight, but now, lying battered and bleeding in his lair, she has never felt more wetness or more warmth between her legs.

"God, you're delicious," he moans, licking the last of the blood away, and Mikasa has to fight herself not to mimic the low, rough sound. Her chest rises and falls heavily as she contemplates the tainted cup of tea before her, wisps of white steam swirling above deep garnet.

"I have to avenge Eren," she tells him, her tone steady and resolute, yet mournful. "No amount of kindness from you will change that."

"I know." Silence stretches out between them for a few moments. Levi looks as though he wants to tell her something, conflicting emotions warring on his face until he lets out an annoyed grunt and decides to speak.

"You should know that I did him a kindness as well. He was wanted by forces much more monstrous and evil than even me. The Strigoi," he says in a hushed voice, seemingly too afraid to speak the name of the vampire elders’ council at full volume. "A quick death was the best I could do for him. That is all I can say on the matter."

Mikasa stares at him, her eyes shining, then gives him a small nod. "Thank you," she whispers, then reaches for the china teacup. Her eyes do not leave his as she lifts its delicate rim to her lips and drinks the entire thing in one swallow.

She can feel the potency of the drink as soon as it hits her tongue, the grassiness of tea leaves mixed with the smoke and steel taste of his blood. It swirls around her mouth and warms her, trickling down her throat and into her stomach. Without realizing she is moving, she lifts her other hand to his mouth, smearing blood across his lips until he grasps her wrist with both hands and hungrily laps at her crimson-stained skin.

Her breath quickens as she feels his blood doing its work, suffusing itself into her cells, making her insides roil as bruised organs repair themselves, fractured bones knit together. Mikasa reaches for the candlestick in her leg, wincing as she wraps her fingers around one end and prepares to yank it out.

"No!" Levi cries. "Not yet. You’ll bleed out and I... I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself." His voice is husky, thick with what Mikasa realizes is barely-contained desire. He runs his tongue across her thumb, capturing one last droplet of blood lodged in the corner of the nail, then lets her hand go.

If he wasn’t dead, he’d be blushing, Mikasa thinks, a similar flush blooming across her cheeks.

"Can you help me, then? I think you know your blood better than I do," she says with a knowing smile. Levi returns the smile and nods, climbing up on the table and kneeling beside her. He rests his palms against each side of her calf and runs his hands up her leg, stopping near the wound on her thigh. Mikasa shivers beneath his touch; the contact sends bolts of arousal throughout her body, overriding the last few threads of lingering pain. The only sound in the room is her labored breathing becoming more regular as her ribs heal, then the sound of fabric tearing as Levi rips her pant leg off from around her injury, leaving most of her leg bare.

"What are you—?" she blurts.

"I need to seal the wound," Levi interrupts, his tone brusque. "It’s easier this way." He waits a few moments, watching intently as the ragged flesh and muscle starts to join together. When it is sufficiently closed for him, he pushes Mikasa’s knee to her chest and grasps the base of the candlestick protruding from the underside of her thigh. He then yanks the candlestick out, sending it flying across the room, and attaches his lips around the open wound, drinking the residual blood and licking at her skin. Deep muffled moans escape from between her flesh and his mouth. When he is finished he gingerly puts her leg down and does the same to the other side of the wound, burying his face in her thigh. He uses one hand to steady himself and the other to rub his painfully hard cock through his pants, hoping to relieve some of the tension there. Mikasa writhes beneath him, though whether it is in pain or pleasure he cannot tell until he looks up from the now-healed wound to see her gazing down at him, her eyes heavy-lidded, her mouth set in a pouty O.

In response Levi leaps on top of her faster than the human eye can discern, pressing her against the tabletop with his heavy, muscled body. Although he is shorter than her, a fact she never hesitates to point out, every inch of his body is toned and taut and imbued with superhuman strength, giving him the presence of a man twice his size. Mikasa gasps with the dueling emotions of fear and arousal when she feels him atop her, unsure of his intentions.

"You promised," she says softly, surprised that she feels wounded at the thought of his betrayal.

"I did," he answers in a low, breathy tone, then lowers his mouth to hers and takes her mouth in a fierce kiss. Mikasa immediately responds, her arms crushing him to her, her hips arching up to meet the rigid bulge in his pants, her tongue flicking against his as she opens her mouth to him. Levi presses himself against Mikasa, grinding his cock against the now-damp juncture of her thighs. She moans wordlessly as his zipper grazes her clit, marveling how she can feel such a thing through layers of fabric. Levi seems to share her thoughts, momentarily pulling away from her so he can unbutton his shirt and pants. Mikasa does the same, undoing the zipper of her jacket before Levi presses his hands to hers, stopping her.

"Let me," he rasps, his voice rough with need. He finishes undressing, throwing his crisp white shirt to the floor, kicking off his shoes, pushing down the waistband of his trousers. Mikasa mentally notes with a smirk that he does not wear any underwear and that his noted penchant for cleanliness seems to have disappeared under the influence of potent blood and sensuality. When he is finally naked, his muscled frame looking like sharply chiseled marble in the candlelight, his cock swollen and thick and ready for her, he pulls her up to a seated position and slips off her leather jacket, pushing his hands down her arms until it drops off of her body and falls to the table. The jacket hangs there for a moment and then drops to the floor. Her shirt soon follows, his fingers undoing each button with agonizing deliberation, tracing each inch of exposed flesh with his hands and lips; then her bra, which he flings in some random direction. He doesn’t know where; instead he is gazing deep into her eyes, seeing his hunger reflected in her dilated pupils and parted lips. His movements are soft and sure, dragging out the process of undressing her until they are both trembling and frenzied, ready to pounce on each other with barely-controlled lust.

He is the first to move, grasping her by the hips and yanking her pants and underwear off in one fluid motion and pressing his mouth to her pussy, inhaling the scent of her before finally, blissfully tasting her.

"Fuck!" Mikasa moans as Levi drags his tongue in leisurely circles around her clit, each circuit coaxing more noises out of her, breathy little gasps and sighs that only serve to drive Levi wild. His cock throbs in response and he groans, aching to be buried deep inside her. Mikasa rests on her elbows and watches him, looking down the flat plane of her belly at the top of his head as he licks and sucks at her most tender flesh. She flexes her hips and opens herself even wider to his touch; he responds by gripping and massaging her inner thighs as he devours her, the taste of her sex as intoxicating as that of her blood. He is firm and confident against her most sensitive parts, each motion pushing her closer and closer to an explosive peak. Within minutes she is shrieking and thrashing beneath him, orgasm tearing through her body with a force that only Levi possesses.

Before Mikasa can fully come back down to earth, he reaches his hands beneath her body and flips her over, depositing her on her hands and knees, sending silverware skittering, plates and glasses crashing to the floor. He barely registers the wanton destruction, focused only on the needs of his body, the desperate desire to plunge himself into her. Mikasa pushes her ass against the stiff length of his cock, silently begging him to ravish her, to give her pleasure by mercilessly taking his. Levi chooses not to indulge her just yet, grasping his shaft and rubbing his head against her folds a few times before he can no longer take it. He growls as she takes him inside her, her cunt hot and tight and slick with shameless need.

"Yessss," she hisses, overwhelmed with the delicious sensation of herself stretching around his cock, feeling herself adjust to his thickness. Levi tries to savor the moment but cannot resist the frantic urge to slam his cock into her over and over again, her ass slapping against his hips with each frenzied stroke. Mikasa starts to keen, her pussy clenching around his cock, sending electric currents of pleasure through both of them with every motion.

Levi loops one arm around her waist and pulls her upright against him, molding her back to his chest as he still maintains his furious rhythm inside of her. Mikasa leans against him, arching her back to give him access to her bared neck. His features briefly take on a look of disbelief at her actions, but the look in her eyes says Come, taste me.

"So fucking hot," he cries. He grips her tighter around her waist, using his grasp as leverage to fuck her harder. His free hand finds her clit, teasing it with his fingertips until she twitches and shudders against him, primed for another orgasm. Levi increases the tempo of his thrusts and swipes at her clit roughly, building a furious rhythm that will soon leave her limp and exhausted, if her frantic moans are any indication. His ministrations increase in speed, building to a fever pitch as he feels his orgasm start to build in his thighs and his balls. Mikasa’s eyes clench shut in concentration; an iridescent sheen of sweat appears on her forehead and neck, and blazing spots of color burn in her cheeks. Just before he comes, just as Mikasa’s cunt starts to flutter around him, he sinks his fangs into her neck and takes a long drink, the familiar but still somehow unexpected taste of her blood pushing him headlong into an orgasm that feels as though he is the one being drained. In that moment there is no Levi and no Mikasa, only two beings of pure pleasure, screaming their release as one.

Mikasa is the first to regain her senses, collapsing forward onto the table, sending another plate and glass to the floor as she catches herself on unsteady arms. Levi’s cock slides out of her pussy, glistening with her wetness. She makes a disappointed noise, feeling keenly the loss of him inside of her, a sensation of emptiness without his cock filling her. She lies on her stomach atop the table and lets out a long, sated sigh.

"Holy shit," she rasps, her voice hoarse and her throat dry from her heavy breaths and screams. She looks over her shoulder at Levi, her hair damp and matted to her forehead in dark tendrils, her countenance disheveled and gleaming. If he still breathed, the sight of her would take his breath away.

"Yeah," he murmurs in agreement, reaching out one hand to stroke her lightly sweating back, his mind utterly blank. Physically he remains pristine, not even a hair out of place; mentally, emotionally, he feels as confused as he does satisfied, as though he has been broken apart and rearranged in a foreign configuration. In due time he will register the magnitude of this encounter, will rage and seethe at the destruction they’ve both wrought in his lair, will scrutinize what the hell he just did with the woman who’s been trying to kill him, but for now all he wants to do is gather her in his arms and take her to his bed. He does so, moving with such speed that Mikasa barely registers what has happened until Levi is propping her up against a mountain of pillows, her skin glowing against his crimson silk sheets. He settles himself next to her, his body curling around hers as she does the same to him. Mikasa reaches over and brushes a strand of dark hair out of his face, then presses her lips to his gently, almost chastely.

"What just happened kind of makes me wish I’d asked for a longer truce,” he says after a few minutes of intimate silence.

Mikasa giggles softly, then sighs. "Me too." Neither of them suggests one, though, because that is not the way of the world. He is a vampire and she is a Hunter. They fight on opposite sides of an eternal war; they are not supposed to be lovers and bedfellows. After tonight they must return to their roles and forget about the passion between them and how they gave in to it, although they both know that they never will.

"You do know I'm going to try to kill you tomorrow night, right?" she asks him.

"I know," he replies, his lips curving into a wry smile before he can think to hide it. "I'm looking forward to it."

#rivamika #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #alienheartattack writes #i swear to god if tumblr gives me another error when i try to post this i will burn this website to the ground and salt the earth

132 notes · View notes

relevy · 7 years

Text

A-Z Book Recommendations.

What a great idea from my friend at @macrolit :) Had to give it a go. I’ve omitted “A’s” and “The’s” from most of the titles for sake of flow.

A - American Gods by Neil Gaiman - A wandering modern “fantasy” that felt keenly poignant to me having grown up in the midwest. You’ll need patience for this one but this book is truly about the journey not the destination.

B - Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyer - I’ll be honest, I never finished this series. It got a little overblown but the characters are so genuine that I held out a lot longer than I would expect of myself. This first book though is the definition of a classic middle reader. Lot of Adventure and a lovable, fierce, albeit flawed, female protagonist.

C - Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess - I used to read this book every summer. It’s a rough read with some explicit violence (sexual and otherwise) but an important one I think. I recommend reading the “British” publishing which has 21 chapters (the publishers took out the last one for American audiences, because apparently we don’t like character redemption and growth *eyeroll*). The real genius of this book is the vernacular Burgess created from scratch that is truly like reading another language at first.

D - Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab - Not to be cliche but I find that a lot of the titles Booklr obsesses over in the YA genre to be par-baked at best. Not the case with this series! Well developed characters that exist beyond their actions and exhibit real emotional complexity without relying on tropes and a plot that kept me turning and turning pages!

E - East by Edith Pattou - This is a remnant from my scholastic book fair days. It’s a frightfully easy read, however, her love for the folktale on which it is based (East of the Sun and West of the Moon) shines through. Each chapter is told by a distinct alternating voice and though the plot leaps about a bit you do not lose any sense of forward motion.

F - Fly by Night by Frances Hardinge - At this point you’ve probably realized I love middle-reader books. There is also a pattern of relatable well written female protagonists in all of them. Not to be outdone the lead of this book is a stubborn young girl named Mosca and her equally prickly goose, who live in a fantasy setting based loosely on 18th century Britain. I won’t give anything else away except to say READ THIS BOOK!

G - Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson- I don’t exclusively read fantasy children’s books and here’s the proof. All of Larsson’s books are difficult to get into. Which can be put down to the fact that the first half of his reads are laying the complex groundwork for the gripping, fast paced, second half that will leave you gasping for air.

H - The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien - If you go into The Hobbit expecting the verbose grandeur of LoTR you’re going to be sorely disappointed. This book was aimed much more at a younger audience and is far more light-hearted and comical than its more mature follow-ups. Nevertheless it still has the grand beauty of Tolkien’s imagination and I quite like the whimsy of his narrative style in this prequel.

I - It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini - This book helped me understand aspects of my own struggle with depression and anxiety. It is heartfelt, raw, but most importantly not without hope. Vizzini committed suicide a few years ago, which leaves a bit of a cloud over the book but it is an important read for both those who struggle and those who care about them.

J - Jerusalem by Sami Tamimi and Yotam Ottolenghi - But Rachel this is a cookbook! Yes! Yes it is! But it’s also so much more than that. The entire thing is a love letter from the two authors who grew up, respectively, in the Jewish and Arabian communities of this complex city. Beyond the delicious recipes there is mouth-watering photography more akin to photojournalism than a traditional cookbook. Each section and almost each recipe is accompanied by an explanation of the historical and political machinations, tragedies, and cultures that led to its creation.

K - King Lear by William Shakespeare - Far and away one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. I dream of someday playing a gender-bent Lear. I find that this play in particular asks a lot of tough questions of its characters and they answer in frighteningly frustrating ways. “Tis the times’ plague, when madmen lead the blind.”

L - Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt - This book is a cult classic. Originally published in Dutch in 1962 it has since been translated into twelve languages! This is a classic hero’s journey written in a loving, nurturing hand.

M - Maresi by Maria Turtschaninoff - Maresi is a relatively new book that has flown totally under the YA Booklr radar. It has a vivid comparison to The Wizard of Earthsea series by Ursula K Leguin but is not a reproduction. The plot centers around an island of “sisters” in an intensely patriarchal world. The second book was just released so I suggest jumping on this bandwagon soon!

N - (The) Naming by Allison Croggon - I’m in the middle of rereading The Books of Pellinor series and I vividly remember now why they were the favorites of my High School years. Crogon writes in a simple elegance that must have been lovingly honed by years of reading Leguin and Tolkien. Another complex female protagonist in this one but written in 3rd person Omniscient (not fixed) narrative which is hard to find these days.

O - Once and Future King by T.H. White - I am an Arthur scholar and I will admit this is not my favorite Arthurian book (That’s Sword at Sunset by Rosmary Sutcliff). However, it is a necessary read for anyone who has interest in how modern fantasy came about in the US and the American obsession with King Arthur.

P - The Plucker by Brom - This is more of a graphic novel than a book. If you are a fan of Guillermo del Toro YOU WILL LOVE THIS. Imagine Toy Story except as a horror movie instead of playful animation. Brom is an exquisite illustrator and it’s worth it for the art alone.

Q - I have literally nothing for this one! Ah!

R - Runaways by Brian K Vaughan - This is a graphic novel series about a group of teenagers who mistakenly find out their parents are part of a super-villain society. Being a Marvel comic there are cameos by familiar goodies and badies and the series itself takes many surprising twists. Characters of color and female characters are prominent!

S - Seraphina by Rachel Hartman - Imagine if Dragons could take human form but were required by law to wear a bell to mark their otherness. Rather than set in a typical medieval setting, Seraphina takes place in a pseudo “classical” Europe setting with heavy emphasis on music. The characters and plot in this are flawless and I found it a refreshing, fun read.

T - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee - This is one of the few books I was required to read in High School that I actually enjoyed. There’s a lot to be said for this timeless classic but the fact that it still remains relevant is really all that needs to be.

U - Under the Black Flag by David Cordingly - Albeit I read this book back when pirates were much more a pop culture phenomenon than they are now. However, if you like history, and pirates this is a great read for notable and notorious seafarers.

V - V for Vendetta by Alan Moore - a graphic novel but truly a novel in its own right. I honestly prefer Watchmen but I feel Alan Moore is at his most Alan Moore-y in this one. No contest better than the movie.

W - Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K Leguin - The mythic style of these books can turn some modern readers off. Keeping with that there’s not as much character “development” as modern readers are used to. However, that being said these are some of the most compelling characters and books you will ever meet.

X - I came up dry on this one as well :(

Y - Y the Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan (Again!) - Imagine if all the men on earth died instantaneously except one slacker and his capuchin monkey. This graphic novel series could have gone way off the rails (as far as imagining what an all female dystopia would look like) yet Vaughan writes his female characters with a surprising nuance and depth.

Z - Zel by Donna Jo Napoli - I read this in elementary school and WHOOO BOY I don’t know who approved that one for children’s shelves but it is definitely a mature retelling of the Rapunzel fairytale. Distinctive voices and no making it less gruesome than the original here.

#book recommendations #macrolit #booklr #reading recommendations #books #long post

569 notes · View notes

rixareth · 6 years

Text

Female character meme!

List 10 ladies you love, from 10 different fandoms and tag people.

I was tagged by @academicgangster! LET'S DO THIS. Warning: I am going to talk for far too long. I have tried very hard not to solely name videogame characters.

- Ellie, from The Last of Us. What a great character. The Last of Us doesn't work if it's only a story about Joel learning to love Ellie; it has to be a story about you learning to love Ellie as well, and I absolutely do love Ellie, because Ellie is great. She's not fearless; she's afraid, but she's prepared to do what has to be done in spite of that fear. She's been through a lot, but she's not entirely jaded; she's still capable of wonder, she can still appreciate beauty. She's slow to trust without being incapable of trusting. She's got a weakness for terrible puns. She's such a bright spot when you're trudging through the apocalypse. I was delighted when I caught her trying to keep her balance along the edge of a kerb.

- Yuna, from Final Fantasy X: the story of a selfless young woman's journey to discover that, hey, sometimes it's okay to be selfish. She's constantly setting her own life and her own desires aside for the sake of others, and I love it when she finally plants her feet and goes, no, this system is terrible, I'm going to fight it for myself and the people I care about. She's not physically strong, she can seem a bit of a pushover at first glance, but she's got the most incredible strength of character.

- Rachel, from Animorphs. As a kid in the nineties, I was so starved for female representation, for female characters who actually got to do things, that I remember getting really excited about how powerful the queen was in chess. And then along came Rachel. She was unlike me in pretty much every respect, but she still made a big impact. Here was this gorgeous blonde girl, she was athletic, she was interested in fashion, she was everything I'd been told was 'feminine', she was INCREDIBLY BLOODTHIRSTY and absolutely thrived when she was thrown into a horrible war against mind-controlling aliens. I was more of a Cassie myself, but I was absolutely awed by Rachel.

- Korra, from The Legend of Korra. I prefer Avatar: The Last Airbender to The Legend of Korra by quite a long way, but I absolutely adore Korra as a character: this hot-headed, proud, fundamentally good-hearted young woman with an uncontrollable drive to make terrible decisions.

- Elena Fisher, from Uncharted. Bold, smart, adventurous, sharp-tongued. My favourite moment in the entire Uncharted series is the part where you're playing Crash Bandicoot and Elena is just making fun of you the entire time. I would have been perfectly happy if Uncharted 4 had been nothing but that.

- Teresa Lisbon, from The Mentalist. Listing Elena's good qualities reminded me of how much I loved Lisbon! They've got a fair amount in common, although Lisbon's a little more cautious. One of my favourite moments is where Jane needs the charges against a suspect dropped, and eventually he admits it to Lisbon - 'I couldn't tell you earlier, I didn't want to put you in danger' - and Lisbon just goes, 'You're an idiot. Let's go,' and gets the charges dropped by flat-out punching the suspect in the face in front of his lawyer.

- Utena Tenjou, from Revolutionary Girl Utena (the anime). I need to rewatch this; it's been too long! My fondness for Utena comes from the same place as my fondness for Korra: I've got a real weakness for bold, good-hearted, slightly cocky characters who make awful, awful decisions (this is also where my fondness for Mike Munroe of Until Dawn comes from).

- Mahiru Koizumi, from Danganronpa 2. In a cast of over-the-top characters, she felt very real and helped to keep things grounded. I loved that she always stood up to Kuzuryuu if she felt he was trying to bully the others, too; she absolutely refused to be intimidated. It's interesting to me that she buys very strongly into traditional gender roles without entirely fitting into them herself; she's outspoken in a way that doesn't strike me as 'traditionally feminine'. I also (inevitably) enjoy the fact that she's privately insecure and haunted by a terrible decision she made in her past.

- Mary Read, from Assassin's Creed: Black Flag. I love that she just mocks Edward non-stop; I love that she appears to be in the habit of casually patting him on the arse before he even knows she's a woman; I love the cutscene after he learns her true identity, where her motions have the subtext 'ooh, look at how close to you I'm getting! am I going to kiss you? am I??? NOPE AHAHAHA PSYCH.' The moment where she and Anne Bonny are arrested for piracy and go 'lol, you can't execute us, we're both pregnant' is absolutely magical (and historically accurate!).

- Donna Noble, from Doctor Who. Brave and kind and spirited and hilarious, and unhesitatingly prepared to stand up to the Doctor. She could so easily have been a shallow, exaggerated comic character, but she turned out to be something wonderful. She made me care about Doctor Who again when I'd fallen out of love with it.

I'm not good at tagging, but I tag anyone who's reading this and going 'hey, I want to talk about my favourite female characters as well!'

#mine

3 notes · View notes

marvelandponder · 7 years

Photo

I’M SCREAMING

We’re 3 months away from this glitter-bomb and they gave us some stuff to scream about. I think I’ll do just that. I took my sweet time putting this together, I know, but there’s a fair bit to unpack and a lot to be excited about so, let’s go through it all!

Animation

Okay, so first things first: people are calling this a 2D movie and that’s not really that accurate.

It certainly has some 2D elements, like the backgrounds, but the style of animation only makes the characters look 2D, when in fact they’re 3D models.

You can tell in how they move. If I were to give you a still screen shot, you might guess that it was from a 2D animation, but in motion, you can tell what it actually is: cel-shading.

I had a hunch that’s what it was so I asked a storyboarder who worked on the MLP movie (and the show) if I was right and she said:

The program they’re using is ToonBoom, which does rigs with 2D toon shaders, among other things!

You know, I don’t often call things, but I fucking called it. Let me have this. Just to give you a quick definition from Wikipedia:

“Cel shading or toon shading is a type of non-photorealistic rendering designed to make 3-D computer graphics appear to be flat by using less shading color instead of a shade gradient or tints and shades.”

3-dimensional figure with cel shading, has the effect of making it look 2D. Typically seen with thick outlines on the outside and little to no outlines on the inside:

(Team Fortress 2 itself isn’t normally cel shaded, but that’s a great example a fan made of what cel shading usually looked like when I was growing up)

Cel shading without outlines, as seen in Wind Waker.

Like I said, just seeing this still image, it looks 2D, but watching it move, you can tell there’s a 3rd dimension to the character with the features and lineart mapped out onto the models to make it look 2D

Which by the way, is really unique for a major release! I don’t know about anyone else, but I was excited that MLP: The Movie seemed to be 2-D since there hasn’t been a domestic 2-D animated movie since Winnie the Pooh in 2011. 6 damn years! While I maybe would’ve ideally liked a completely 2-D animated movie, the backgrounds and the cel shading works in really neat ways, and it will definitely make the movie stand out

The purely 3-D objects seem unfinished at the moment (but that’s not out of the ordinary, CGI seems to be one of the last processes). It needs texture or shading or something, and I can tell because most of the ship looks too soft (too much like a model) to be metal. I really think this will be fixed for the final product, but that’s probably the most jarring part of the style at the moment

Not all of the 3-D looks unfinished, but the best looking parts are still the painterly, 2-D stuff (look at those towers; they’re really stylized, but you can tell they’re 3D in a more 2D environment)

THAT DIGITALLY PAINTED VERSION OF CANTERLOT THOUGH:

The light effects are definitely 3-D in the fireworks and rainboom

Oh, and speaking lighting, so much of it looks so pretty! There are one or two times when the colours are slightly off, but the majority of the time it looks freaking gorgeous

You can kinda see by looking at Rarity that the shading is juuust slightly off here (kinda like they were for the teaser trailer), but then you look in the background and see this BEAUTIFUL background and Twilight all upset and worried about this invasion, and it feels like such a nitpick to worry about what will probably still be cleaned up before it hits theaters

We also get some really great expressions, so they’re not really limited by the 3D models underneath (if I’m right about that)

Also, just as one last little note here, the style is detailed enough to see little things about the characters we didn’t know up until now, like the fact that the spines on the side of Spike’s head are translucent, or that the colours of RD’s mane aren’t 100% perfectly separated

Overall with the animation, I’m so impressed not only by how gorgeous it is,but by how willing they were to take a risk and incorporate a 3D element in the form of (I think) cel-shading. This only really matches the creative spirit of the MLP team, though. Whether or not you agree on how well they always execute everything, they always try to step up their game with every new season and push themselves to be and do better.

And while I will say that if some of the more 3D parts (yeah, I’m talking about the zeppelin/airships mostly) aren’t fixed for the final release, I would have a bone to pick with them, but I have faith that we’ll be seeing a much smoother integration of that 3D on the big screen.

Story and Character Details

I really appreciate that they didn’t outright spoil anything too big. It’s definitely a well-cut trailer! We basically only know about the same information we did before, with just a hint or two as to things like who the true villain is.

Just based on the focus given to these characters in the trailer (and what I know of the Storm King’s characterization in the first Movie Prequel comic that was just released), seems like he’s not as big of a threat as the commander of his fleet, Tempest.

It’s a kind of villain we haven’t seen on the show or even in EQG, and not only that, but

She’s got a fantastic voice actress behind her, so she can pull off the deliciously evil vibe well without, say, reminding us too much of Chrysalis or other powerful animated villains from Disney classics

Plus her design with the broken horn and her magic sparking up out of it is instantly intriguing to me: for such a powerful presence, it’s awesome to see her weakness (and most likely shady past) is always on display---especially for a commander character, that’s just really cool

Grubber seems to be pretty standard so far, nothing he’s done has really impressed me quite yet, but I’m hoping his best stuff is saved for the movie itself

The sky pirates (or skyrates) look like a lot of fun, and in context I can see how well the bipedal birb pirate blends with the universe (the bipedal designs were the ones I had the most trouble with)

On top of that, we have sea ponies at last! And they’re far more adorable than I ever could’ve hoped

The original sea pony designs from G1 looked a lot more like sea horses, with curling tails and fins on either side, but I think the meraid-ish look is both more marketable for Hasbro and more appealing to look at (the original sea ponies always seemed like a joke in the fandom to me, I admittedly never understood why people would actually want it in G4)

And a-ha! Good queens do exist! Poor Celestia and Luna. Always a princess, never a queen.

Oh, and Seaquestria? It’s freakin’ beautiful. I LOVE the rich blues and purples here. If you haven’t had a chance to check out the 360 image of the underwater palace complete with an excellent piece of background music, treat yourself.

The Mane 6′s sea pony designs are pretty dang adorable. I don’t have anything interesting to say, I just like the cute water horses, okay?

Minor Details and Incidentals

I’ll start out by saying Twilight’s narration in the trailer is pretty standard, but still heartwarming (mostly because I already know and love these characters though). It sort of reminds me of the bits of narration from the How to Train Your Dragon movies, although those had a bit more character to them.

The what could possible go wrong? line, though. It just makes me laugh thinking of all the flashbacks we could have to the series.

I guess she’s talking about that festival specifically that she’s organizing, and in that way it’s a show of character development (in a similar way to the character development on display in A Flurry of Emotions, where Twilight is told she’s late and doesn't have a panic attack or worry about what could go wrong... too much), but it’s still hilarious to contrast the idea that nothing could go wrong in Equestria to... literally all of the show.

AJ and RD protecting their friends even before the others have gotten over the shock of whatever they’re seeing tho

Starlight and Trixie get a bit of screen-time together and it’s adorable. Starlight might be stuck in Canterlot for the duration of the adventure, but I’m glad to see her included. Characters like Discord who might be too hard to explain to new audiences are understandable losses, but even if Starlight’s cameo is brief, it’s good to see her role acknowledged

In terms of music, Sia’s looking adorable so far, and Lukas Graham’s as of yet unreleased Off to See the World sounds pretty catchy (it’s the song at the end of the trailer), so they’ve got talent behind the vocals!

Jumping back to little details, it’s neat how sea pony magic has a very distinct look from unicorn/alicorn magic. Also, the bubbles are really cute

And, okay, I just wanted to take a minute to appreciate how serious this ponk is. Can we all just stop and take a look, because in this scene Twilight’s saying how she’s the one Tempest is after, and she should probably face this alone, which seems to be our Princess of Friendship’s big dilemma in this movie, and Pinkie’s clearly trying to tell her she’s crazy

Gotta love that they didn’t just go for hyperactive comic relief Pinkie Pie; they don’t seem to be boiling down these characters to just one trait (which is partially why I loved the moment where RD and AJ defend the girls; RD’s ego will no doubt be on display throughout the movie, but you’ll also see she’s ready to lay down her life for her friends)

And hey, lookie here! Canterlot got a make-over... and a contractor. There’s more pink than there typically is and it doesn’t necessarily match what we’ve seen of it in the show. Especially places like the throne room:

And you know, I’m a little torn on this detail? It’s beautiful, and I’m digging the starry night mosiac they’ve got going on back there, but it would’ve been nice to see the throne room we know and love rendered in this new style, you know? I’m gonna miss the deep magentas and the stain glass windows of the Mane 6′s accomplishments. I know that’s mostly the fangirl in me, but I like seeing continuity nods back to the show (like hey look: Cadence gets a cameo!)

Unless Canterlot gets destroyed and subsequently rebuilt in the season 7 finale, in which case I’ll shut my mouth

Speaking of which, I still have to wonder exactly when this will take place in the series, or if it exists slightly to the left of canon like the Equestria Girls movies (which, I mean, I consider canon, but still). I know there’s ties into the comics, but I wonder if/when the show will acknowledge the events of the movie... I guess only time will tell

And for now, I think that about wraps it up! All in all, I’m beyond excited to see this thing, as anyone could’ve guessed.

It should also be noted that a lot of kids movie trailers focus on the fun, comedic portions of the movie, so while I do think it’s mostly going to feel like this, I’m also looking forward to the more character-driven feelsy parts. As we well know, you can never get the full scope of a movie from just the trailer, but it’s usually especially true for kids movies.

Even just from what we have seen, it looks like we’re in for a ride. Can’t wait to get on.

Hey, if you’d like more MLP stuff, you can click right here to see my editorials or here for episode reviews. And if those links don’t look pretty enough, have the last three things I’ve done right here:

Parental Glideance Review, Celestia/Daybreaker Editorial, and LGBT+ Editorial

Year of the Pony

139 notes · View notes

gizedcom · 4 years

Text

Playing Iron Man VR: Why I think it’s better than the critics say

In context: Iron Man VR launched last month and I was surprised to find critics panning the game. I had played the demo and thought it was quite fun. Interested in seeing how much could have changed between the release of the demo and the full game, I purchased it, played it, and here’s my report back.

Video game developer Camouflaj embarked on an ambitious journey when it began development on a VR title featuring Marvel’s iconic metal superhero Iron Man. Doing Tony Stark’s alter ego justice, or any comic-book superhero for that matter, is not easy when you are up against an established rabid fan base. As one of those fans, I was eager to see what the developer came up with, but held my expectations in check, especially after news of a few delays.

When I bought my PSVR, Camouflaj’s Iron Man demo was already available on the PlayStation Store, but I held off downloading it. I am new to VR and wanted to get my sea legs before diving into a game I knew would quickly trigger motion sickness. When I finally did install the trial, I was impressed by what was there. I knew virtual reality was the perfect platform for such a game, but I was still amazed at the immersion I felt when I first stepped into the suit.

youtube

On finishing the demo’s content, I already knew I wanted more. So I was a bit surprised as launch day approached at the terrible early reviews the game was getting. I wondered how it could have changed so much from the demo to the full version that it would get such criticism. Camouflaj must have really screwed up, and I was about to find out how, since I had already paid for a pre-order. I don’t often pre-order games, and it felt I was about to be reminded why.

To my surprise, I was not displeased with my purchase. I felt that the developers had done an excellent job turning me into the heavy metal man. I’m such a geek that when I finished the game, I threw my hands in the air and shouted, “I am Iron Man” in my best Ozzy Osbourne impersonation. My wife was not impressed. I guess it’s not as effective if you don’t say it in front of a spinning fan.

To me, the game seemed like more of what I had experienced with the demo. Having skimmed only a few reviews, I decided to see what the fuss was about and found that many of the gripes did not reflect my experience—wonky controls, long load times, frame rate drops—none of that seemed like what I had experienced.

One of the biggest complaints was the control scheme Camouflaj implemented. Many found the controls difficult to learn. Admittedly, learning to juggle between steering with your hand jets and blasting enemies with those same hands (repulsors) does take some practice. However, there is free flying, combat challenges, and time trials aside from the main game that will have you mastering the mechanics in little time.

Perhaps we can chalk that one up to reviewer impatience. Time is money, and getting a review out fast often takes precedence over learning how to play the game. It’s understandable then that some would say the controls were too hard. There is a learning curve that is a bit steeper than most VR shooters.

Some reviewers claimed to have tracking issues while using the Move controllers. Engadget’s reviewer griped that he could not play on his couch. “It’s hard to fly with your arms shot out at your sides when you’re sat on the couch. You try it,” they critiqued.

Indeed, Iron Man VR is not something you want to play seated on a couch. However, is it fair to ding a VR title for that? Most VR games require much more freedom of movement than can be allowed on a sofa. The ones I have played are best suited to playing in the middle of the room on a stool.

Since most flying in Iron Man requires having your hands to your sides, something that easily accommodates that position is best. I used my office chair, and the PSVR had no issues tracking the controllers. In my opinion, this complaint was not an issue with the game so much as a personal preference problem.

One of the most critical Iron Man VR reviews I read came from Ars Technica who advised to “avoid” the game. They also were frustrated with the controls and the reviewer didn’t like the variety of different attacks at his disposal or how they were executed.

Between all the flying mechanics, players must also master a set of attacks that can vary as you upgrade your suit. Repulsors are palm-based weapons that are fired with your palm facing forward. Top-of-the-hand artillery like rockets and miniguns are activated with your palm facing down. Rocket punches and ground pounds are triggered by holding a button to charge it, then making a punching motion. The distinction between the last two is dependant on where your visor is pointed. Looking at a flying enemy executes a rocket punch while aiming it at a surface-based enemy brings up the ground-pound reticle.

It sounds like a lot on paper, but boiled down to the basics, it’s only three different gestures. Furthermore, they are all very natural motions. I found the offensive mechanics quite intuitive. Once again, the optional combat and flying missions are great places to practice these maneuvers. So this critique also seems to stem from not taking or having the time to learn the mechanics.

Ars also did not like the loading times and accompanying screens. While Iron Man’s load times are long, I feel they were exaggerating by saying, “Every single time you switch from one interior location to the next, you can expect a loading screen as short as one minute and as long as two minutes.”

I never experienced a two-minute load time. The most prolonged wait for me was maybe one minute, and that was for booting up the main missions, not room-to-room transitions. I’m not sure what consoles other reviewers used, but I played on a PS4 Pro.

Performance between the Pro and the standard PS4 could make the difference in load times. I did not notice drastic drops in frame rate while playing on the Pro either as some have reported. It does seem evident, however, that Camouflaj recognized the load times as a weakness because it went to the trouble of making the loading screens interactive. While waiting for the level to boot, you can click through hints, read the level briefing, scroll through screens showing you different armor sets, and what you need to unlock them. Once you get bored with that, there is a texture on the floor that you can doodle in with your virtual laser pointers.

All in all, level loading is not that painful. I suffered far more excruciating load times in many other games, which will remain nameless—GTA5—Fallout 4. Iron Man VR’s loading screens beat staring at screen art as your life ticks away. I imagine it’s even worse when you have a looming review deadline, so I suppose this critique is forgivable.

The one gripe I did find somewhat valid was what Ars dubbed, “Iron Man VR wrist.” Like Wii elbow, this ailment will have your wrists barking at you to stop playing. The pain seems to be primarily caused by the one controller complaint everybody has that I find entirely justified.

During battles, you are frequently required to turn sharply. Sometimes you even need to spin 180 degrees. While this can be accomplished by turning your body or spinning in your stool, this causes issues with tracking with the added risk of tangling the PSVR cord and pulling the whole setup to the floor. So to facilitate turning, you use one button on each Move controller for right and left turns. If you push them both together, you flip around 180 degrees.

Pressing these buttons and angling your wrists for fine-tuned steering puts a strain on those muscles and gets painful in longer play sessions. I only experienced it after playing for well over the recommended time for a VR session, which is 30 minutes. Taking a 20- or 30-minute break when you start to feel strain is effective. Stopping for shorter rests between each level also helps. So Iron Man VR wrist is a nuisance, but it’s also avoidable.

My chief complaint about the game was that I felt the story was too short. Some reviews, like GamesRadar’s, said it was too long. GR’s reviewer was hoping for a game “spread over a few hours.” Not including the optional challenges, Iron Man runs closer to eight hours. But I’m sucker for a good long narrative, so I was sad to see the story end even though it was probably the right length for a VR game. I guess that complaint was probably valid for most, just not for me.

Animation: JayShockblast

I’m relatively new to VR. I bought my PSVR only a few weeks ago and there are likely a lot of great games I have yet to experience. That said, Iron Man is one of the most enjoyable VR games I have played so far. Could it have been better? Sure, but in terms of placing the player in the main character’s metal boots, I think they nailed it.

Iron Man, by its very nature, is well suited (no pun intended) for the VR platform, and few critics would disagree with that. “Iron Man feels like a perfect fit for virtual reality,” said Kotaku. “When I put on my PSVR headset and started playing Iron Man VR, I felt like that famous, armor-wearing superhero.”

Indeed. From the HUD projected onto the visor to the suit’s AI whispering advice and status warnings into your ear to using your hand jets to steer as you fly, the game succeeds in making you feel like you are Iron Man. I would just say, if you haven’t tried the free demo, play it. If you like what is there, you can expect more of it in the full game. Don’t let the bad reviews stop you from experiencing a game you might like as much as I did.

Iron Man was a risk for Camouflaj, and in my opinion it’s paid off, but not everyone agrees. I think the studio did good work for the VR platform. Whether you like the game or not, this is the inventive and immersive game design that will keep VR alive as it matures.

A new generation of hardware is on the horizon, and VR developers are going to have a lot more horsepower at their disposal. It will be exciting to see how they put it to use in virtual reality.

Credit: Source link

The post Playing Iron Man VR: Why I think it’s better than the critics say appeared first on GIZED - Breaking News Worldwide.

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2ZIy5uJ via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

entergamingxp · 4 years

Text

Ian’s top ten best PSVR games of 2019 • Eurogamer.net

Welcome one and all to this year’s exciting instalment of the Ian’s VR Corner Top Ten list where I’ll be going over my ten favourite PSVR games of 2019. As per usual, the following list is completely my opinion and it only features games that I myself have played, so if I’ve missed out one of your favourites, chances are it’s either because I thought it was a bit bobbins, or that I just didn’t have time to give it a go. Either way, please do share the love for your favourite PSVR games of 2019 in the comments below and hopefully, together, we can inspire others to try them out too.

You can check out the video version of this list just below these words where you can watch footage of each game featured or, if reading is more your thing, you’ll find my entire top ten list just under that.

youtube

10 – Ghost Giant

Anyone who has watched the Ghost Giant episode of Ian’s VR Corner will know that I had a fair few issues with the game’s motion controls, or more specifically, the fiddliness of picking things up that were just a little too far out of reach. Thankfully, there’s a lot more to Ghost Giant than just its control scheme and I was able to push past those faults and appreciate the emotionally charged story at its core.

In terms of production values, Ghost Giant is way up there and it actually shares a lot of similarities with Moss, one of my favourite games of 2018. The level of detail in Ghost Giant is incredible and the paper-craft dioramas that make up the levels look stunning in VR. It almost feels like you’re sat, centre stage in your very own Tim Burton movie, able to reach in and touch and interact with every inch of the world.

I didn’t just enjoy playing around and exploring these ultra detailed, model villages though, I was also enthralled by the life and personality of the characters that were expertly animated and voice acted. If you can look past the unwieldy interactions caused by the less than accurate Move controllers you’ll find a beating heart which is full of sweetness and sadness and there lies a story that will stick with you for a long, long time.

youtube

9 – Everybody’s Golf VR

Someone famous once said that golf is a good walk spoiled, so it’s probably a good job then that Everybody’s Golf VR is a completely stationary experience. By cutting out all those boring strolls it means the game and its players can concentrate on pure, unadulterated virtual golfing across three gorgeous, 18 hole courses.

As the name would suggest, Everybody’s Golf is indeed for everybody. That means seasoned golfers will instantly be able to enjoy batting their balls around while newcomers can make use of an incredibly intuitive in-game interface to practice swings and judge the power and angle of each shot before going all in for a hole in one. The tracking of the Move controller is pretty much spot on with Everybody’s Golf VR and I didn’t notice any kind of drift or inaccuracy at all. Holding a single Move controller with two hands like you would the grip on a club feels just like you’re holding the real thing and this adds a lovely sense of immersion to the already relaxed vibe of the game.

While Everybody’s Golf VR is slightly watered down compared to other games from the series, especially when it comes to the lack of multiplayer, it does feel like a perfect fit for PSVR and it’s an ideal starting point for any golf enthusiasts out there who may be nervous about trying VR for the first time.

youtube

8 – Falcon Age

It’s hard not to fall in love with Falcon Age after mere minutes of playing it and a lot of that has to do with your cute as hell companion, whom I decided to name, Pudding. Pudding is a falcon that you raise from a squeaking ball of feathers into a fully grown, mech murdering bird of prey and it’s pretty safe to say that caring for Pudding is probably the closest I’ve probably come to treating a VR animal as if it were a real-life living being.

Falcon Age is a rather compact open-world affair in which you stick it to awful robotic industrialists one act of sabotage and rebellion at a time. You head out into this world with a neat whip-baton thing in one hand and Pudding on your other, and you can send pudding to attack things, collect things, yank things about and then hold them up while you give them a good shoeing.

Just having Pudding there on your fist makes you think about it on a very emotional level. Seeing Pudding get hungry was enough to make me want to learn the rudiments of the cooking system, but pulling spikes out of her after a fight genuinely made me furious in a way a dog owner might be if someone mistreated their beloved pooch while they were out on a walk. This is a game about nurturing, about trust, about friendship and loyalty and about having an awesome Falcon friend who’ll do your bidding and smash evil robots for you. I love you, Pudding.

youtube

7 – Sairento VR

You know that bit in The Matrix when Keanu Reeves goes, “I know Kung Fu!”? Well I had a few moments of realisation just like that during my first hands-on session with the PSVR port of Sairento VR. Don’t go into Sairento VR expecting to be a badass from the off though. There’s an incredibly steep learning curve here and there’s a lot of things you’ll need to learn in order to feel comfortable when navigating the levels.

In fact, this game should definitely be thought of as being on the extreme end of the comfort scale because it expects you to do double jumps, bounce off or run along walls and scale great heights. All whilst swinging swords, shooting guns and triggering super cool slow mo super powers. The first couple of levels really ease you into things, but by the third, the action is relentless and enemies come at you rapidly, shooting and hitting you from all angles.

This onslaught can be terribly frustrating at first but it forces you to learn quickly and it won’t be long before you’re chaining leaps and bounds together with slow-motion headshots and slick slide kills where you split opponents in two with your blade. When everything does start to click, the combat becomes so absorbing that it’s easy to forget about the normal world that exists outside of your headset. That’s why it’s well worth putting in the hours to practice your skills because when everything is going your way and you’re flowing through the levels, Sairento VR is one hell of an experience.

youtube

6 – Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion HD Renovation

Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion HD Renovation is the first game in the world to have ever made me swear at a piece of toast and for that it instantly gets a thumbs up from me.

This VR remake of the cult classic PC horror game sees you trapped inside an ever changing maze comprised of 1000 different rooms, each one potentially home to a jump scare or two. Despite the budget look to the graphics and a rather slow start, I was surprised by just how scary Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion could be. Being stalked through the rooms by some of the games more unsettling specimens would honestly be bad enough in the flat version of the game, but in VR it’s panic inducing as you can almost feel their physical presence gaining on you as you try to escape.

That feeling of being chased never gets old either, as the rooms, locations and your pursuers keep changing in unexpected and unpredictable ways. Basically it’s like dropping acid and going to a Halloween Horror Fright Night even at Thorpe Park, except you won’t need to drop acid and there won’t be a massive queue to get in. Now hurry up and release this in the EU please, Albino Moose Games!

youtube

5 – Trover Saves the Universe

If you didn’t already know, Trover Saves the Universe is made by Squanch Games, a development studio run by Justin Roiland of Rick and Morty fame. So, if that kind of wacky, sweary, tasteless and self-referential sci-fi humour is your bag, Trover Saves the Universe will have you covered. In spit and poop, mainly…

Playing a bit like an Astrobot for adults, Trover Saves the Universe sees you galavanting around the galaxy, intruding on the often disgusting inhabitants of Alien worlds, all whilst trying to rescue your two pet dogs from the eye sockets of the evil Glorkon who is hell bent on destroying life as we know it.

There’s a fairly big game here and it basically includes everything you’d expect from a standard 3D platformer like combat, jumping, bounce pads, puzzles and item collecting. Everything in Trover has this dark and disgusting Roiland twist to it though and this leaves you constantly surprised and occasionally sickened by the events that occur. The bonkers scenarios and the imaginative characters that live within them are often either comically creepy or absurdly annoying and as such, fans of Rick and Morty are bound to be in VR heaven with Trover. For some, this constant barrage of weird humour may be a little too overwhelming and that’s totally understandable, but I played it through twice because I’m also super weird.

youtube

4 – Borderlands 2 VR

Technically Borderlands 2 VR came out in 2018, but it appeared on the Playstation store so late in December that my Top Ten list for that year had already been published. In fact, I didn’t even feature it on Ian’s VR Corner until January when I came back from my Christmas holidays so its inclusion on this list totally counts. Totally.

Far from being a short spin-off experience, Borderlands 2 VR is a complete conversion of the flat game, featuring the full 25+ hour campaign. Plus, after the release of the free Bad Ass MegaFun DLC pack in September of this year, it also includes the four add on story missions and a bunch of upgrade packs too. That’s a lotta bang for your buck indeed!

I had a lot of fun when Borderlands 2 VR first came out, but when Aim controller support was added in another update, the game just got better. Being able to hold, admire and shoot any of the bazillion guns that are available to you in VR while holding the aim controller just adds to the immersion and it makes shooting all those Bullymongs and bandits feel super satisfying. Borderlands 2 VR is an incredibly well produced title that looks beautiful in 3D so it’s well worth revisiting if you’ve played the game before in flat version. If this is your first trip to Pandora however, this is a must buy that’ll keep you busy for ages. WUB, WUB, WUB!

youtube

3 – Ace Combat 7

I’m absolutely terrified of flying in real life but flying in VR? Well that is a completely different story, especially when it comes to Ace Combat 7’s VR levels. There may only be three unique missions available in the VR portion of the game but when they’re this gorgeous, this exhilarating and this immersive, you’ll find plenty of excuses to replay them. I mean, I certainly did!

There’s just so much to love here, from the ultra detailed, interactive inheritors of the cockpits and the adrenaline pumping intensity of the VR dog-fights, through to the way that water droplets roll across your aircraft’s canopy as you leave thick cloud cover and burst out into the sunlight and thunder your way towards yours foes.

The sense of speed, power and of just ‘being there in the moment’ is truly exceptional here, so it’s a damn shame that Ace Combat 7’s biggest fault is that only a small portion of the game is playable in VR. Please, Bandai Namco, give us a full VR campaign and I promise you, I’ll buy it twice! Ace Combat 7 may have come out right at the start of 2019 but I still think about its VR missions regularly and I pull out my HOTAS and strap myself into my jumpseat whenever I get the chance.

youtube

2 – No Man’s Sky Beyond

No Man’s Sky Beyond is almost the perfect VR game. It’s infinite, it’s incredibly immersive and if it wasn’t for the low resolution of the visuals, I could quite easily spend a large portion of my life just pootling around the galaxy digging through planets for valuable minerals like some kind of space age mole man.

The experience of exploring the universe in No Man’s Sky in VR is every bit as jaw dropping and massive as you could have hoped for but the ever present blur does kill the magnificence a bit. All those stunning vistas and the mysterious alien flora and fauna that you may remember from the flat version now look like indistinct smudges on the horizon and this works towards dampening that awesome sense of discovery that made the exploration so compelling.

Get past that though as you’ll find that the rest of the game is an absolute joy to play. The sense of scale in VR is amazing and the ability to fly around from planet to planet and galaxy to galaxy while being encased in the game is incomparable to anything else I’ve played in VR. This is a straight up, never-ending VR adventure and depending on your patience for the survival genre, you could easily end up spending countless hours exploring brand new world after brand new world. No Man’s Sky Beyond is an amazing achievement and I’d recommend it to anyone with a VR headset, if only to get a taste of what VR adventures could be like in the future, if the platform continues to grow and expand.

youtube

1 – Blood and Truth

Right now, at the point of writing this feature, everyone in the world is getting excited about a brand new James Bond trailer. Everyone that is except me, because this year, thanks to Blood and Truth, I was James Bond.

The beauty of Blood and Truth though is that I wasn’t just James Bond, I was actually loads of things. I was a soldier in a warzone, a cockney gangster literally riding shotgun in a sports car and I was even some kind of parkour hitman, dodging machine gun fire from a helicopter as I legged it across the floors of a barely built block of flats before throwing myself through some plate glass windows as I shot enemies in the face during some glorious scenes of slow-motion gun-fu.

In Blood and Truth you are the star of your very own action movie, no more passively watching the action unfold on a flat screen, oh no. Here you’re right there in the thick of it, catching and throwing back live grenades, dual wielding pistols and generally living out all of those action movie fantasies that you never thought would come true. There’s an excellent supporting cast who’re brought to life by some top notch voice acting and motion capture and this serves to give you a real connection to the characters in some of the slower paced scenes, while each action set piece is just varied enough to make you constantly gasp out loud with the thrill of it all.

The gunplay is excellent too and while the on rails nature of the gameplay could be seen as a turn off for some, it keeps the pace rattling along and allows the developers to do some really clever and unexpected things with VR. If you own a PSVR you need this game and that’s the bloody truth of it.

youtube

And that, my lovely friends, is that! Hopefully you enjoyed this look back at my favourite PSVR games of 2019 but if I did miss any of your favourites out, do remember to tell us about them in the comments! Before I wander off to snaffle some pre-Christmas mince pies, I’d just like to say a big thank you to each and everyone of you for the continued support you’ve been giving my VR coverage. Can you believe Ian’s VR Corner has been going for over a year and a half now? Crazy!

Here’s hoping things get even more exciting for VR in 2020, whether that’s for PSVR or for the wider range of headsets, because if 2019 has proven anything at all, it’s that VR just keeps getting bigger and better and it’s definitely not going to go away any time soon! If this list is the first you’ve seen of my VR coverage by the way, Ian’s VR Corner happens every Sunday on this channel so do pop on over and subscribe for more VR videos whenever they’re uploaded. Oh and of course, do have a lovely Christmas and a wonderful new year!

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/ians-top-ten-best-psvr-games-of-2019-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ians-top-ten-best-psvr-games-of-2019-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

0 notes

paulisweeabootrash · 5 years

Text

First Impression: My Hero Academia

After a long delay, today I'm finally crossing another show off the list of "things a lot of my friends seem to be into and probably assume I also already watch". Let's go further beyond to invade North Africa and colonize the Americas become heroes with...

My Hero Academia (2016).

Episodes watched: 3

Platform: VRV

"Before we knew it, the supernatural became normal, and dreams became reality. The world has become a superhuman society, and about 80% of the world's population now has some kind of special trait." And it shows. In the world of this show, although most people have superpowers —or, excuse me, "quirks" — few are actually superheroes or villains, and those who are are celebrities — and also casualties of how mundane this all has become already, judging by the line about someone using their quirk for petty thievery being "the incarnation of evil". I already expect from the first few scenes of the first episode that this is going to be a highly genre-savvy show, steeped in the absurdities of the superhero genre and its implications. Okay okay. This is not the kind of thing that usually gets my attention. Even though I do kind of like superheroes as a concept, I don't usually seek them out because I'm not the kind of person who truly appreciates The Fight Scene or The Tournament Arc as story elements, and I assume the show is going to prominently feature both just based on its premise. But you know what? I like One Punch Man, which is also a Japanese take on American superheroes, and I know enough people who are fans of this whose taste I trust that I'll finally give it a try.

Our main character is Izuku, who has long been devastated by learning as a small child that he has no quirk. He and his childhood rival and/or friend Bakugo, whose quirk is literal explosions, both aspire to get into UA, an elite high school for superheroes. By chance, Izuku gets saved by his idol, the absurdly American top-rated hero, All Might, and soon learns that the hero suffered a secret injury that limits his ability to be an effective hero. He advises Izuku against trying to become a hero, since even with a quirk — indeed, even as the world’s most acclaimed hero — the job is horribly difficult and dangerous, but that it's still good to have dreams. But when the same monster All Might just saved Izuku from attacks Bakugo too, Izuku rushes to join the heroes who have already responded to the scene. He almost very slightly helps, and when the fight is over, he is scolded for trying to be helpful while Bakugo is told he could be "an excellent sidekick"... comments that are patronizing and make sense in universe. Of course we should expect that, especially after several generations, people with quirks would treat those without as helpless, and of course despite quirks (or maybe even because of the additional responsibility of having and using them) our teenage main characters aren't taken seriously. But privately, All Might tells Izuku this his reckless behavior the other heroes scold is proof that he can become a hero without a quirk. What heroes have in common in their origins, he says, is that "their bodies moved before they had a chance to think". And I have to give the show points for understanding that instead of portraying heroism as some kind of Great Moral Choice.

All Might makes a surprising offer to help Izuku obtain a quirk (something it's not commonly known is even possible). And so they go to Dagoba to prepare. No, really, the sign says "Dagoba Municipal Beach Park". All Might accordingly takes on the Yoda role to Izuku's Luke by being kind of obnoxious and giving him tasks whose relevance is not clear at first. The quirk Izuku is training to receive, called "one for all", is All Might's own quirk, and it gives the person it's conferred upon the combined physical strength of all of the past people to have it. As long as you're sufficiently muscular to handle it, anyway, hence the training. Anyway, over the course of an episode that's pretty much entirely a training montage, Izuku meets the exhausting requirements for workout, studying, and diet, and All Might confers the quirk to him (and hey, his hair didn't even fall out from over-exercising!). I have a hunch that the "one for all" quirk is going to turn out to be a "magic feather", but I'm also pretty frequently wrong when trying to guess the direction any story will go.

As I leave off here, Izuku is about to take the physical part of the entrance exam to UA, consisting of fighting simulated villains, and he is easily the most visibly excited to be there, contrasting with a gallery of Very Serious applicants. It doesn't feel like a great place to end to actually fairly evaluate the show, but based on the titles of the next several episodes, this may be as convenient a place as any to pause, because it looks like the application ordeal is going to be a decent-sized story arc of its own, or maybe the entire remainder of the season. That could be fascinating or it could be a drag, there’s no way to know in advance. But I’m interested, so I'll definitely watch the rest of the season to see how it goes.

-----

W/A/S: 2 / 1 / 4

Weeb: Another example of "not so much weeb as general nerd". Although it is very clearly a Japanese comedy, there are many homages to the style and content of American superhero comics. And, for some reason, Star Wars references.

Ass: Mt. Lady sure seems to think there's supposed to be ass in her intro scene, but giants are not my kink, and the show seems tame otherwise.

Shit (writing): This show is very silly and I am enjoying it a lot so far. Not remarkable, but certainly not bad. It's kind of cheesy in the ways you'd probably expect from both American superhero media and other Japanese comedies. The serious moments also fit in and hit without being too over the top. Each episode ends in... not exactly a cliffhanger, but an obvious transition to the next episode, which makes it seem like it's written with binge-watching in mind, but it's not quite engaging enough to be one of the few shows I can binge-watch.

Shit (other): This show has quite a lot of limited animation — only a single character or object moving, using panning or motion lines instead of moving elements within the frame — but handles it well. It didn't bother me except for the occasional shot of motionless background crowds. There's the occasional off-model expression or dumb-looking shot during an action sequence that looks like sloppiness rather than comedic effect, but the animation is generally successfully expressive. The opening is underwhelming as mostly a gallery of rapidly-shown still images of the large ensemble cast still yet to be introduced, but I like the music. It's overall neither bad nor a standout.

Content: Nothing in particular. Less realistic and/or horrifying violence than I'd expect from a lot of contemporary American superhero material.

-----

Stray observations:

- Bakuhatsu, Bakugo... ah, I see we're following the proud American superhero comic tradition of names related to powers or super identities here.

- I love that even unnamed and background characters got some amount of design to them — not just generic-looking crowd people, but crowd people who clearly have external signs of having some sort of quirk. It reminds you that we are indeed in a world where the wide variety of superpowers are considered normal.

- Izuku is firmly establishing a tendency towards fanboying and mumbling to himself about what/how he could do. As a fellow nerd who often feels like my more-accomplished friends have unattainable talents, and who frequently talks out loud through to-do lists, it's relatable and endearing.

- And with that, I’m off to The Great New York State Fair. See you next month, nerds!

#weeaboo trash #anime review #first impression review #My Hero Academia #Boku no Hero Academia #bnha

0 notes

crumpledsilkskin-blog · 7 years

Text

Campus Fires:Favours.

Campus fires are a series of short stories. set within the six month time skip. That occurs within my Novel. Some of them will be funny. Some of them will explore side characters. All in All this is mostly a Primer for my actual novel when it launches.

“A mans’ job is providing for the ones he loves.” My father used to tell me that. I feel like he wanted his darling boy to grow into a good man. Too bad he never prepared me to grow into anything else. Not his fault. We are products of our environments after all. Too bad not all of us come out with the right bar code.

Still, my father being the way he is will always find it’s way back to me…somehow. Like today for instance. I’ve been trying to get supplies, so I can help Robin better establish his clinic. The downside is, money no longer means anything. If you want or need anything around here. You’d better find someone who needs a favour. It’s just too bad that, not many people on our beautiful island nation, are willing to help much less talk to a transgendered person.

Thus there I sat. Throwing smooth stones into an artificial pond. In the hopes that my brain, could come up with a better solution than any I’d come to so far.

From behind me I heard a voice say. “You know I hear throwing stones in there fucks with the delicate ecosystem or whatever.”

It was Nicolai. Or maybe Nogueira? Truth is, I’m not sure what to call him. He was what I like to call a question mark. He appeared out of nowhere when this all started. About ten percent of what he says is actually legible. The other ninety percent is either crass, perverted or angry. Don’t get me wrong though. All of this far from makes him an awful person. He won’t admit it, but Nicolai spends most of his days keeping us safe. Whether it be from his power mad friend Alvin or wild animals. Not to mention…he’s one of the few people that treat me like a person and not a sideshow.

In my mind, Nicolais’ only flaw, is that he can’t let go of Nikki. One might ask…Who is Nikki? Well, Nikki is the name of the love of his life. There’s still alot I don’t know about what happened but, apparently Nicolai wronged her six months ago and he’s been trying to rectify it ever since.

“So like, around here people call me the law. I can fine you for that.” He laughed, tickling his right ear with his Index finger.

“Aren’t you the one always saying there’s no rules to life anymore? The world ended?” I asked. A single eyebrow raised.

“Yeaaah.” He groaned. His finger now moved from his ear to scratching his head. “But I also say How Shyamalan instead of what a surprise. I can’t be trusted with phrases like that.”

“Did you just defeat your own argument?” I laughed.

“Most likely.” He nodded.” This is all new to me and my brain is operating at like thirty percent.”

I laughed as I set the stones down on the railing in front of me. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and gave me a shrug. “I heard there’s Cayman in this pond. Thought maybe I’d get to see it bite somebody in the ass.”

“Is that all you spend your days doing?” I laughed.” Hoping misfortune befalls people?”

He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “You know I never get that about people. Nearly all humor is based in pain, yet you berate and belittle enjoyment of misfortune.” He shrugged once more. “Now! How bout some reciprocation? Tell me why you’re here?”

I stuttered and shook my head. “Ummmm, you know. Meaningless errands.”

He paused and squinted at me for a moment, before he pointed behind me. “Meaningless errands require a health up plus bag?”

I got confused for a minute, but quickly caught on once I realized, he was pointing at my bag. “Health up plus?”

“I don’t actually know the name for it but, it’s a plus and it appears on first aid kits and in video games. THUS health up plus.” He nodded.

I laughed, held up the bag and pointed to it. “It’s called a RED CROSS.”

“Like Jesus?” he asked.

“What? No not like Jesus like…never mind.” I sighed.

“Good to know.” He laughed. “Still not the question I asked though.”

I paused for a minute. I wasn’t in much of a talking mood. And despite his best efforts to be funny and charming, right now it was more annoying. “It’s….complicated.” I sighed.

“Can I guess at it?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said.” Take a crack at it.”

He placed a finger on his chin and started tapping it. “I’m gonna guess…you need medical supplies but, Robin Timult is being an ass.”

“That’s…close.” I nodded. “In truth he’s running low. I was trying to get some from the hospital but…”

“Buuut?” he asked.

“But the head nurse is…religious.”

Nicolai closed one eye and winced. “Oi boy.” He scratched his head and spun around a few times, all before he snapped his fingers and pointed at me.” Was it Rachel?” He asked.

“Rachel?” I questioned.

“Fair skinned, long brown hair, massive earlobes.”

“Oh!” I replied. “Uhhhh no. she was…hefty and…obsidian? I wanna say?”

Nicolai held his stomach and laughed.” Obsidian!? Ain’t that a bit too colourful for someone so awful?”

“Might be.” I shrugged. “Either way, insulting her isn’t going to get me what I want.”

He started scratching his chin and looking into the air. “So what will?” he mumbled. After a while he nodded to himself and said.” Okay,”

“Okay?” I asked.

“I’ve got a solution. Follow me.” He smiled.

Nicolai took me on a lengthy trek. Through areas on campus, Id have never been to, had it not been for the world going to shit. We came upon a pavilion. Most of the tables and benches were covered in vine, but there were people at the few that weren’t

“Daniel!” Nicolai shouted as we drew closer to the group at the back. “What’s uuuppp!” he shouted. His hands raised high in the air.

A dark haired young man sitting on one of the tables, sighed and slid off the table. “No!” the young man said firmly. For the next five minutes an argument that was both comical and concerning. Daniel would deny Nicolai what he wanted and Nicolai would make a weird crack.

Eventually Nicolai got tired of it and mentioned a name.”Raira.” Daniels’ eyes widened and he got super aggressive. Thankfully Nicolai was accustomed to violent retaliation. Another thing he’d deny but, provoking a response and dealing with the outcome was kind of his lifestyle.

Daniel looked back at his friends gathered around the table. At least they looked like his friends. Business associates might have been a better title. He looked back at Nicolai and glared him daggers. Nicolai reciprocated with a shit eating grin.

Daniel turned towards his associates again and made a whirling motion with his index finger. The one furthest to the back got up and crouched down to a chest hidden in the bushes. He turnt back towards Daniel and flashed him a peace sign. Daniel shook his head and held up six fingers.

His partner nodded, reached into the box and pulled out a revolver. He threw it to Daniel who caught it then handed it over to Nicolai.

“Is this real?” Nicolai asked.

“You said it didn’t matter.” Daniel replied. Making sure to accompany it with a glare.

“Yeah well.” Nicolai flicked the barrel of the revolver out and spun it. When he saw it was empty he nodded. “Here’s hoping bullets remain a scarcity.” He sighed.

Daniel slammed a finger into Nicolais’ chest. “I don’t want—“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Nicolai interrupted. He bashed Daniels’ hand away and dusted his t-shirt off “I keep your secret, you get to continue being a piece of shit. Surreptitious symbiosis achieved.”

Daniel growled before he sucked his teeth and took his place back at his table.

Nicolai spun the gun around his finger then tucked it into the inner pocket of his hoodie.” Next stop the hospital,” he said.

“With a gun!?” I shouted. “No!”

“Fine.” He shrugged.” Stay here then. I’ll go do what I have to.” He stuck his hands in his pants pockets and walked off.

It was a stressful and argumentative walk to the hospital. Nicolai kept being vague and seemed to fear a straight answer. At the hospital, par for the course, the gates were chained. Bruto the Alsatian guard dog paced back and forth with a drippy elongated tongue.

Nicolai made his way up to the gate and shouted.” BENNNNY!”

In minutes a portly, balding, olive skinned guard came waddling down to the gate. “Nic, Nic! How yuh goin Nic, Nics.” The man smiled.

“Benny hey man, how you been?” Nicolai asked.

The portly man seemed to get more excited than he already was. “I good I good. You good? Yuh brain good today?” He asked.

“Yeah Benny.” Nicolai nodded. “ My brain is good today.” He smiled.

It was weird seeing Nicolai be something other than sarcastic or cynical. There was a gentle air when he spoke to Benny. Yet enough respect that he wasn’t patronizing.

“Dat good, dat good.” Benny nodded.

Nicolai snapped his fingers then reached into his pocket. “Hey Benny, brought you a present.” With a bright smile he brought the gun out and handed it over to Benny.

A broad smile engulfed Bennys’ face as he held the gun up and started dancing. “Is it…is it okay to give him that?” I asked nervously.

“Of course it is.” Nicolai nodded. “Benny is a police officer after all.”

“Yes!” Benny shouted. “ I is de police! FREEZE.” Benny took and aiming stance and pointed it at us. I panicked and ducked behind Nicolai.

“Calm down.” Nicolai laughed. “ It’s fake and it’s empty.” He whispered.

“Fake? I asked.

“Shhh!” Nicolai placed a single finger on his lips.” It’s plastic, but he doesn’t need to know that.”

I looked back at Benny and he seemed to be channeling, early nineteen eighties police procedurals. He’d aim, roll on the floor, get up and then make shooting sounds. His noise attracted one of the nurses from inside. Fair skin, long hair. It was safe to assume this was Rachel. She snatched the gun away from Benny and scolded him for it. Benny got extremely silent and avoided eye contact with her at all costs.

When she asked him where he got it, he pointed to us outside the fence. Rachel stormed over and threw the gun at Nicolai, hitting him square in the eye.

“Agh! What the fuck!?” he screeched.

“I told you not to come back here!” Rachel was furious. I expect this wasn’t regular behavior for her as even Benny looked shock.

Nicolai groaned and winced as he rubbed his eye.” I really wouldn’t have. Just because I respect your authority, but I needed a favour.”

“ No!” she screamed. “ Go away.”

In a meek voice Benny stuttered.” M-m-miss Rachel, why you doh, be nice to him?”

Rachel turned around and shushed Benny as she embraced him and kissed his forehead. “It’s ok Benny, alright? He is bad people. We’re good people.”

“That’s a lie,” Nicolai said.

“I told you to get out of here!” Rachel commanded.

“If you’re such good people, then why was my friend turned away for being transgendered?!” He shouted. His voice had gone from cynical to angry.

“What?” Rachel asked. Confusion filled her face. “Who refused whom?”

“Your coworker.” Nicolai stated. He folded his arms and glared at Rachel. “Due to certain, physical descriptions we’ll call her eight ball.” He nodded. “When my friend came here looking for medicine to trade, eight ball turned her away.”

Rachels’ face turned into shock. She looked over to me and asked.” Is this true? Did one of my nurses actually turn you away?” Her voice was soft. The difference in voice between talking to Nicolai and talking to me was vast. It was like seeing two sides of the same mother.

I nodded furiously and saw her jaw drop, ever so slowly.

“We’ve built up a good trade relationship Rachel.” Nicolai complained as he pointed at her. “I’d hope that-“

“I know!” she interrupted. “I know.” Rachel gave Benny a kiss on the forehead once more and told him to go wait by the entrance. She looked back at me and smiled. “What exactly do you need sweetheart?”

I was so dumbfounded I almost forgot I’d made a list. After I handed it to her, she looked it over and nodded. Smiling as she got to the end. “The names of these medicines, are you a med student by chance?” she asked.

“Umm, yes.” I stuttered.” Yes.”

Rachel put the paper under her arm and clapped. “Well done young lady. Nice to see an aspiring female doctor.”

I couldn’t help but blush at the comment.

“You know before everything went to shit, I would have been a psychologist.” Nicolai interjected.

Rachel glared at him, then rolled her eyes as she walked away. Rachel seemed to be taking a while, so Nicolai and I took a seat on a nearby sidewalk while we waited.

“You planned all this didn’t you?” I asked.

“Not to a T.” he shrugged, “But I did develop the makings of a plan.”

I laughed and shook my head. “You know, I would have never gotten this far on my own.” I sighed. “People here are—“

“People here are still stuck on tradition and religion.” He laughed. “ I mean hey what do you want from a Caribbean Island right?” He shrugged.

“Nicolai,” I said softly. “You don’t know how hard it is. To feel like there’s something wrong with you, only to have everyone around you validate it.” Talking about peoples’ prejudices and bigotry was always hard. The ones directed at me especially. Although, if there was anyone who knew how to hold back tears, it’d be me.

Nicolai sighed and started rocking back and forth. “You’d be surprised at how much we have in common.” Nicolai scratched his head. “Look, people here, are LOUD. Not a lot of people actually use their brains. If you ever want anything in future…just be LOUDER.” He laughed.

“I’ll remember that.” I laughed. There was silence between us for a while. Just enough, for me to gain courage to ask. “When’d you know?”

“When’d I know what?” he asked back.

“When’d you know…you were pansexual?”

I expected him to be shocked, but he wasn’t. Instead it seemed like he was anticipating the question. “It’s a long story. Also like Nikki, I’m just not ready to talk about it. ”

“Oh.” I replied, dejected.

Nicolai smiled at me and pat me on the head. “Look it took a long time before I was okay with it. Ok with…Me. There were people hurt because of it. Real, tangible pain that I will never be able to fix.” He clasped his hands together and placed them under his chin. “You can’t force someone to tear their mask off. Whoever you’re waiting for.”

“No.” I stuttered and tried to laugh it off. Waving my hands in denial. “This isn’t about Robin.”

“WHOEVER.” He laughed.” You’re waiting for…Has to do it on their own.” He nodded. “If he can’t well.” Nicolai shrugged. “You could do better.”

His words resonated deeply with me. There were times I was genuinely perplexed by Nicolai. Other times I couldn’t help but hate him. But at the end of it all, I realized that Nicolai ,was just someone enormously comfortable with himself. Someone I gathered, took a long time to get that way. When Rachel came, she handed over all the medicine I needed with a smile. Nicolai made sure to stay back so she wouldn’t get angry.

I gave him a wave from across the street. Showing off my bag of newly gotten medication. Nicolai clapped then bowed. Giving me a two finger salute, before he went about his business.

#Campus Fires #LGBT #Sexuality.#Pro Noctem #Novel #amwriting #Tasha Danvers #Nicolai Warren #Transgender

0 notes