#ughh i hate myself

[writing2live]

just watched maze runner tonight and you know what that means? its time for reading self-insert fics!!! thomas and minho and newt looking good

#♥. rie's ganaps #tho its just the 1st movie #i cant wait this anymore #will cont the movie tom #why am i just taking interest in this movies??? #ughh i hate myself #what i have been up to with all those years #also already knew that newt died #is he? im not rlly sure #but guess that saves me a lil bit for a heartbreak #sfiubjug why does he have to die?? smh #oh also teresa also died?? idk #dont want to spoil myself by searching #the maze runner

[collieii]

vash, who is so used to people leaving, so used to outliving others, dared to imagine a tomorrow with wolfwood. let himself dream that after the work was done they could set down their guns and just exist, together. and by the time he realizes this and admits it to himself, wolfwood is dying. i mean ok. sure. whatever.

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #trigun maximum #trigun #i hate gay ppl!!! #.lieii #ik everyone says this but sometimes i remember it and i just ughh #i just noticed this had a typo killing myself

[amiinkles]

To be loved is to be changed, but would you still love me if I changed?

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fanart #our flag means death fanart #stede bonnet #well episode 8 kinda destroyed this for me great #when ed essentially told stede 'i hate the new you. i miss the old you' I wanted to see them expand on that. #it is something ive been told countless times and i hated it #i relate to stede so much. seeing how he and his relationship with ed was handled in episode 8 made me mad #he was gifted his boyfriend and forgot about his dream about being a pirate. the show said 'you just didnt gind the right person' #as someone under the aromantic umbrella it pissed me off #i was genuinely invested in gentlebeard in season 1. but they didnt address most of the issues surrounding their relationship #im sorry im so angry but i had to get it out #im not blaming anyone but myself for getting so emotionally attached to this show #ughh amii out. feel free to disagree or whatever #amii ofmd cravings #fanart #our flag means fanart #amii argues #i still love stede btw. and izzy. #ed is in timeout but ill make a fanart and rant of his charcter eventually

[chalkeater]

ur art is crunchy /pos !!! how do you have the confidence to use stuff that isnt pencil and cant rlly be erased if mistakes are made?

make more mistakes

ACTUAL ANSWER BELOW because it got too long. oops lol

anyway. i wrote “DO IT ON PURPOSE” because when it comes to doing a whole drawing with ONLY a pen- you gotta force your brain get creative- at least practice. in other words- work with what you have. it’s basically like solving a problem every few seconds-

because sometimes my hand eye coordination glitches for a split second. or maybe my hand shook or maybe the line is actually shit looking. but instead of scrapping the thing entirely i gotta to try and make it work. ok so if my line looks like crap here maybe i can make it a Part of the drawing by making everything look messier. OR maybe i can even just. hide it!! by coloring a thicker line along it too!!

you can actually HIDE a LOT of mistakes with a pen without erasing anything. and sometimes the mistakes are part of the art- like when i see the most beautiful art online and i see an uncolored pixel. what matters is your final output not the things you cant change now or mean nothing in the big picture

honestly going from sketch to lines and rendering with a pen is about weight control (like with a pencil- sketching yk) and not beating yourself up. in order to gain the “confidence” you gotta absolutely ANNIHILATE the need for 200% perfection. because theres beauty in a mess.

anyway so. when you get the basic stuff down like “in order to to make less mistakes with pen stuff- make sure youre used to what youre drawing already!!!” or “draw/doodle stupid shit with your pen and make it (pen) a PART of you and not some scary beast (pen)

i think it all stems down to forgiving yourself and just having fun. having fun is always my motto. if you ever go “oh no i made a mistake!!!” imagine me yelling “WHO CAAARRESSS!!!!!!!! (#love #positive)” in your EAR

#deltarune #susie deltarune #myself #ask #susart #GAHH SORRY ITS SO LONG OR SOMETHING #we have chronic ‘if you ask any of us a question ill literally take 5 paragraphs to answer it bc idk detail and context or shit’ #ok bye how this helps???? #mintyblitz #i would include more of our pen stuff but idk whats worth showing lol #bc we sketch with pens a lot. actually fucking hate sketching with pencils sometimes because ughh #when youre studying fine arts and have 500 black drawings ???? um. yeah. no. i dont want to touch a pencil everr AGAIN!!!! #GOD GRAPHITE EVERYWHERE!!! on my shirt on my FACE!!! #of course we still do painting and drawings with pencils and then line them after #but if im gonna doodle?? yeah. pen #also not to be a pen apologist but when a sketchbook ages the pencils fade #but pens are fucking awesome because water and air wont let it fade away #we actually use waterproof BALLPOINT pens (our fountain pen oviously is not waterproof) #(Not aponsored but buy panda oens theyre so cheap and you can paint watercolor on them girls) #anyway so the worst our penned sketches get is like. a lottle bleeding but thats cool ask in a sketchbook #pencils?? gone. blank canvas. #pencils are great but i need people to understand how convenient oen is #also pen for filling in form?? but can be used to draw? versatile. she can do anything

[unicornsaures]

ill forever adore going through my old sketchbooks because its like going through memories i never knew i had

#dpdr my beloathed<3 #memory gaps i hate you !! #like what the fuck do you MEAN i cant tell when somethings real and somethings not #its ironic how my longest lasting memories are when i was drunk #like you would THINK that would be the most forgotten thing #but nope! #maybe because msot of the times i was drunk deeply affected me as a person #and i wont stop reminding myself about it #but! #brain if youre gonna fuck up my memories please let me forget the oens i want to forget pls n thanks #ugh #vent post #vent #dolirants #i love projecting onto laurens though if you couldnt tell #riddling that bitch with anxiety and paranoia and dpdr and rvery problem ive ever faced #honestly i think my mind starting blocking out just..everything #like everything ever #8th grade wasnt even bad ? #likr maam could i like #idk #remember that pls? #7th grade i understand #but like ? #can i remember the rest? #ughh #me ranting in the tags again

[ilonacho]

i miss having time for fandom😔

#btw i forgot to mention i went to see saw x recently #i went to a dead mall after work and i was COMPLETELY by myself in the theater it was the best ever #movie was also the best!! no spoilers but def up there w/ saw n saw vi #but anyway. kinda on that note watching saw has p much been the only halloweeny thing ive had time for this month. sigh #i hate how much of my time work takes like when i come home i have to take care of shit n shower n eat and then its already 8pm #so i only have a couple hours before i gotta go to bed to do it all over again #even if i have a couple hours its not enough to draw :( i miss drawing #ive been working on some oc stuff at work and by that i mean thinking of lore and drawing quick doodles on receipt paper #but thats abt it lol #weve been catching up w/ the great north (god its so good. i forgot how damn good it is) #n bobs burgers n the simpsons. and theres still more were behind on #but i miss it!!! i miss drawing fanart and my faves n my sonas lmao!! #especially my simpsona😔 2020 was something id never had that much lore for a sona #AND I MISS IT!!!!!! #ughh dont mind me just been on my mind a lot #stupid capitalist hellscape

[geffenrecords]

I love him so.much but I know that a relationship would never work because sex is so painful I'd never want to have it and that'd make him.hate me. chat how do I deal with thay

#i hate mu.life i hate my life i hate my life i try so hard ajd people just despise me. fuck #simone gor.so.mad at me for just talking..how.am i supposed to live.my life when people just get pissed the second i talk. man. ugh . UGHH #whatever. ill.just killl myself. it literally dont matter. gn . [thru teara] lmao #zyz #the wine hitting

[anccaku]

I had a… particularly terrifying and gross dream and now I want to write Illumi smut. Like I don’t want to get into details… I’m just suddenly a little inspired.

But idk if I should go all in like in my dream or “tone it down”. Hmm.

#I love how I went #‘I had a lowkey nightmare let me write smut about it’ #the zoldycks were involved so that’s why illumi #ughh I hate to censor myself #but I don’t want to get death treats

[abbeyabominable]

kk so all i ever want to do is die. but uymmmmm hm

#sui ment #UGHH I HATE MYSELF UM

[ivy-and-ivory]

Why hello, inevitable-moment-in-a-writing-project-when-I-convince-myself-I-am-a-talentless-hack-of-no-consequence, we meet again. My beloathed. Please kindly go the fuck away :(

#ughh #don’t mind me I’m just having a bit of a wallow #I’ve just been really struggling to write anything I’m proud of lately #and sort of just feeling like #oh maybe I can’t write actually #maybe I’m just really shit at this #and maybe I’ll just never get any better #and it’s not a very fun feeling!!! at all!!! :((( #and I got some criticism today that hit me kind of hard #I just hate doing badly at something I care about being good at #anyway I’m being dramatic and I’ll get over myself in a bit #I’m just letting myself be upset about it for a little #ivy rambles

[hellavile]

soo . . . i’m obsessed with pierce the veil.

#☆. mocha talks #i hate myself for being so late to their music #i was too boyband obsessed with one direction as a teenager instead of emo shit #i liked emo music but i wasnt die hard enough for it yk? #LIKE DEFTONES FOR INSTANCE UGHH I LOVE THEMMMM BUT IM SO LATE TO THE CLUB

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

😤

#its so hard to stay positive ughh #like..i think my short hair looks good but whenever someone comments on it it makes me feel like ive made a mistake #and i have to remind myself its just hair!! itll grow back! mine grows back way too quickly anyway so it doesnt matter? #but like my mom keeps making comments abt it being too short or not suiting my face and i have to pretend it doesnt get to me but it does #and i hate myself for that!! im too fucking grown to care abt what anyone thinks esp someone who is hard to please anyway but i still do #no one else has said anything bad but idk #and ppl wonder why i dont post pics of myself on sm..moral of the story dont make ur kids insecure lmao #ignore me

[p0megranamanat]

BRUH MY LIFE JUST IS ONE IDENTITY CRISIS AFTER THE OTHER😭

#I STG #ughh i keep feeling connections with certain things and then doubting myself and simultaneously trying to convince myself that #i could be that thing and that i am not that thing #WHY IS THIS SO COMPLICATED OCD I HATE U GRR #trans #therian #autism #personal

[justchillaine]

I'm ending this right here right now. No more procrastination, no more side logs. This is goodbye.

#justchillaine ramblings #ughh why me #this is why i hate myself #this is why i hate people

[scoreplings]

i hate when i do stupid shit that i know will make me more upset and then i get more upset

#I KNEW. EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. #and i did it anyway. #literally crying so hard i keep almost throwing up but 👍 #so so so glad i don't have to go to work tomorrow anyway #i know i'll be okay i am just so sick of all of it #its not fair and i know life doesn't have to be fair and usually isnt but i hate it anyway #why does somebody who treated me like shit get to be happy and living his best life #while i'm killing myself trying to help other people and just get left feeling like that #it's stupid and i hate it #ughh and i KNOW putting your whole life into helping people is not a path to happiness and happiness is not why i do it. i just want to help #people. but it sucks so bad that i gave up a year of my life and so much more and at the end of it i get nothing #meanwhile people who suck get to be so so happy. #rrr it's dumb i don't even have to know what he's up to but i can't stop myself from looking. #it was fine for months because he wasn't happy he was a miserable asshole. #but he's better now. and i should be glad because that means the world is a slightly better place #but i'm not. i'm hurt and i'm pissed off. #i was supposed to be WITH HIM when he did all that. and i would be if he hadn't been such a shithead. #AUGHHH i'm sad and angry at the same time and i hate it.

[kurooandkenmasslut]

WTF MY MAIN JOB HERE WAS TO SAVE IT AND I FUCKIUNG FORGOT TO? WTF NATASHA WTF WTAF WTFWTFWTWTWFWTFWWTWFWTWFWTWFWTWFWTFWWTWFWT

#— nat talks ‹ #natasha im act so done with you istg #ugh #i hate myself wtf #ughh