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#also already knew that newt died
writing2live · 2 years
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just watched maze runner tonight and you know what that means? its time for reading self-insert fics!!! thomas and minho and newt looking good
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nomoreusername · 13 days
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His Hoodie
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Pairing:Aris x female reader
Summary:After losing Aris everything in your life falls apart
A blue and gray striped hoodie, with no zipper, a hood, a single front pocket, and that had been through absolute hell.
Some days, I hate his hoodie. Other days, it’s the only sort of comfort. One thing's the same though. I will never take it off. Not even at night to sleep, out of fear that something could happen to it, refusal to let go, and grief that he never made it.
It doesn't smell like him anymore, and I don't know how to get it back.
I hate the Scorch, and I still hate Jorge and Brenda. I refuse to even be around them, but apparently everyone’s just forgiven them. I mean Thomas is fucking dating her. He's actually dating the girl who killed my boyfriend.
They keep telling me that it was an accident. And it was. There was no way she could have known her bullet would go through the guy's body, hitting my love.
So now I don't talk to Thomas, Minho, or Frypan either. While Teresa was with us I wouldn't look at her. When Newt was here I only spoke to him when it was about rescuing Sonya. Everyone only talked about Minho though, and Harriet didn't stand up for her, leaving me responsible for doing so. Now I don't talk to her either. I sometimes speak to Sonya, but she still hangs out with Harriet so I can't do so often.
I hate them. I hate everyone. They just want me to move on. Even the new friends didn't take me seriously as they tried to set me up. Every time though, I said that I had a fiancee, because I do. I never had a ring, but I didn't need one. That promise to be his wife when we got to the Safe Haven was more than enough.
Nobody took it seriously though. So much so, that somebody took his hoodie while I was in the shower as a “joke,” and I was apparently overdramatic. Because he was younger. He was just a kid, and kids make mistakes. While I agree, he was a teenager. Not a child so he knew right from wrong. Yet somehow when I beat the hell out of him for taking the only thing I had left of Aris I was the bad guy.
What kills me the most? It's only been ten years, and I’m already starting to forget his face. It's getting so blurry. His voice, I don't quite remember his exact tone and how he spoke. There also weren't exactly any photos or videos to remind me.
I remember the way Brenda led us to Jorge though. I still recall being afraid while he hung us upside down but feeling stronger when I looked at Aris. Because he was my everything, and I could make it through hell as long as I had him. Then, when we figured out how I was the one who untied his chains from his ankles so that we could move. Just as we thought it would okay though, there was some guy that came out of nowhere, pointing his own gun at us. Since we're each other's everything I kept my hand in front of Aris to protect him, and he did the same. It wasn't the time for it, at all, but the way fingers brushed against my hips while he did was kind of nice. I mean we were all being threatened and one of my thoughts was how much he means and how much I love him.
When the gunshot went off we thought it was from him until he fell forward, revealing Brenda pointing one. Like it was nothing she yelled at us to hurry up and ran without looking back. I also know the sound obviously made everyone flinch because we all thought that we were the ones who had been hit.
As I tried to leave he whispered my name. I turned to see blood coming out of his chest before he fell to the ground. As he did I was right beside him while everyone else stood there. Not knowing what to do, I just pressed my hands to the wound as I told him it would be okay. As he reached his hand out though, just barely pressing it on my cheek, I looked him in the eyes as he just gave me his touch.
What kills me is that his last sentence was just, “it's okay.” Officially, his last word was just, “I,” before he died. He never even finished them so all there was was an absolute lie. It's not okay, and it never will be.
I screamed as loud as I could. I shook him as I demanded that he wake up. In my hysteria I kissed him, only for his lips to be cold, like they belong to a stranger and not the warm boy who lit up my world. I kept saying his name, sobbing over his dead body as I did everything to wake him up, as if there was a chance. I mean I shook him, kissed him, hugged him, cradled him, rocked him, and stroked his hair.
The worst part is that I did all of this in so little time before two or three people dared pull me away. I kicked and thrashed and screamed and reached for him, only for them to tighten their grip. Two people grabbed my legs while another grabbed my arms. They pulled me to Jorge and forced me on the zipline.
When Jorge came down I was still on my knees, sobbing and repeating his name. When he got close I got on top and punched him over and over and over. I was yelling at the world, rage filling my veins as I called him and the girl monsters and barely human and freaks and screamed that I would kill them. I grabbed my knife and tried to stab him only for someone to restrain me.
Eventually, when I kept trying to kill him when nobody was looking, Minho was assigned to be his body guard since he was in obvious need of protection. Where was Aris’s protection though? Where were they when I was on the floor, doing everything to save his life?
I had failed him too, but I tried. It wasn't enough and never would be, but fucking hell, I did everything I could. It may have been in vain, but I did everything in my power to keep him alive.
Unfortunately, I didn't have any power. So now he's dead, and I’m not.
Since I couldn’t kill Jorge I attempted to murder Brenda. I dragged her to the club and beat her senseless. She barely got any hits in that I couldn't even feel through the sharp pain in my heart.
As I was only halfway done Newt found me. He put his arms around me so that I couldn't move. While he did so I was still shouting at him, telling him that I wasn't finished, reminding him that she killed Aris, the love of my life. The second he got a word in he told me that Aris wouldn't want me to be like this.
This broke something in me as if I wasn't already nothing but little pieces, a shell of who I was. I demanded that he tell me how he would know what Aris would want, but he just reminded me that this violent girl, the one seeking revenge, the one so easily able to hurt people, was not who he had fallen in love with.
The worst part was that he was right. I was not who Aris knew. When I saw myself in a mirror I didn't even recognize myself, and I hated everything about that person staring back.
How can I remember all that but not his face? Not his voice? Not his body? Not his scent? How can I remember everything but what I’m supposed to?
Why couldn't it have been me? Why did it have to him? Why can't I trade places with him?
Standing at the edge of the Safe Haven, I let out a blood curdling scream that only the birds in the sky could hear. Dropping to my knees, I told him that I was sorry as I started pulling at my hair. I screamed about how much I hate everyone and how much I love him. I screamed until my throat was raw, and my voice was scratchy. Yelling into my hands, I broke down again as I tried to remember any positive detail about him. All I had was little moments that he didn't look right in.
Feeling myself break even more than before, I banged my fists on the hard dirt until they were bloody. Crying out for him, as it started to rain I held his hoodie close to my body as it soaked through it. Laying down, I let myself get colder and colder as my eyes started shutting.
For hours and hours I laid there, waiting. Waiting with a small on my face as it kept pouring. If it rained enough I would freeze. I wouldn't have to wake up. Not without him.
So, with my eyes still shut, as I became unable to move, I repeated his name as I prepared to see him again. And this time I wouldn't have to let him go. Ever.
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theredmaynefiles · 9 months
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My Story: A Journey of Loss & Depression
Let me start by saying this isn't a blog about Eddie. I'm not sure why I'm even posting this here, except that for the longest time, I've needed some sort of outlet for some of the things I'm struggling with... and as this is my only blog, I guess this is it. Maybe someone out there will read this & be able to relate. Maybe it will help explain why my blog on Eddie has gone largely silent. Or maybe no one will even notice. Whatever. I need to get this out.
So first of all, hey there, I'm Marci. You know me as an Eddie Redmayne blogger, but I'm also a mom to a son who has ASD & a person who has dealt with what seems - to me, at least - to have been a lot of crap to cope with over the past 8 years. And I've reached a point where coping is more like just existing but more on that in a bit. Maybe.
My dad was always the strongest person I've ever known. He wasn't perfect, but he was one of those dads that could fix anything & always knew the answers to anything you want to know. In October 2013, my dad was diagnosed with cancer - specifically non-Hodgkins lymphoma. My family wasn't new to this particular diagnosis, as my brother, Jeff, was diagnosed with the same cancer in 1999. At this point, Jeff was considered in remission after successfully completing chemo & radiation treatment. So we thought we knew what to expect. Thing is, dad's cancer was in his stomach (my brother's started in his neck) & it was extremely aggressive. I became my father's caregiver. Besides cancer, he was diabetic & dealing with kidney failure. We saw doctors 3-5 times a week for the next year+. My dad went through 3 different types of chemo, including one clinical trial. None of it made any difference, and the cancer continued to spread. In January 2015, he was put on hospice, & in May 2015, my dad died. I wasn't entirely unprepared for this - I mean he was on hospice, & I've worked at a hospital & nursing home, & seen how this sort of things goes many times, but seeing it happen to your own dad - & someone who was so freaking strong - was really rough. It was a horrible experience.
After dad passed, a lot of things changed. Jake & I moved into a house my dad had left us, leaving my mom (with whom I'd always had a very complicated relationship, to say the least) on her own. In late 2016, while watching 'Fantastic Beasts', Jake suddenly exclaimed, "Mom, Newt is autistic like me!" It caught my interest, & my blog was born of it. For the next year & a half or so, it was an amazing creative outlet for me. Eddie is an incredibly talented actor & a truly kind-hearted human being, who actually makes it a point to connect with his fans. I've spoken to him a few times during the fan interviews, & he even wrote me a letter during the pandemic, which was both shocking & awesome. To be honest, though, the best thing about my blog was meeting Charlotte, AKA @bespokeredmayne, who has become one of my dearest friends, & is an amazing person in her own right. (total shout out there!)
My mom didn't cope well with my dad’s passing, & in March 2018, she had a stroke. She died less than a month later. I've already said we had a complicated relationship - without going into that much more, my mom was a narcissist who enjoyed hurting people. My feelings about her are still not great, even after she's been gone for over 5 years. I have a lot of guilt about that, but it is what it is. What I don't understand is why, after she died, my creativity died, too. I couldn't blog anymore. Mind you, at this same time, I was dealing with some health issues - I'd been having mobility issues, which I started seeing a doctor for in early 2018, but mom's sudden passing kind of shunted all of that to the side. Still, I can't even begin to explain the way things changed for me, much less to understand why I was so affected.
The next year was okay, we went to England, which was a lifelong dream, & things seemed like they were mostly going well enough, despite my increasing mobility issues as well as memory issues. While sorting through all our parents' stuff to get their house ready to sell, my brother, Jeff, and I became closer - we'd always been reasonably close, I guess. We got along well as siblings, despite an age gap of just over 10 years (he was older). He'd looked out for me when I was  little & we were friends as adults, which is more than either of us could say about our other sibling, who has been estranged from us both since the 90s. So, yeah... we were pretty close.
So I mentioned about mobility issues, memory issues, etc. I had thought that at least part of this was some kind of ongoing complications from a car wreck I was in back in '95. Turns out, it wasn't - I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 3 years ago. In the time since then, with the pandemic in full swing for much of the time, I became homebound. Besides the MS, I have asthma, & also a vaccine allergy. Between that & the autoimmune disease, I cannot be vaccinated, & I am at high rick for severe covid because of my health. Ironic, no? Add that to my increasing mobility issues & my life became more & more isolated.
The summer of 2021, my brother, in his 50s at the time, was diagnosed with heart failure. The cardiologist he was referred to said this was likely a complication of the chemo he'd had years earlier. In December 2021, just a few days before my birthday, he texted me that he was going to the e/r - this was around 2 in the morning. He texted me one more time after that, & then... nothing. I kept trying to get ahold of him, or the hospital, to find out what was going on, but no one answered until about 4 hours later, when I finally got someone at the e/r. To my absolute shock, she told me my brother was dead. He died less than an hour after his last text to me, of a sudden cardiac arrest. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. To this day, I cannot really cope with it. I don't know why it's hit me so hard - I see people who cope with loss & move on, & I did that with my parents, but this one, I couldn't. It was like it was too much, losing both parents & then my brother. It has destroyed me in some way. I'm not the person I was before. So much loss, & then everything else....
One the day my brother died, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to him. I didn't leave my house again until about 4 weeks ago when our cat needed the emergency vet. For a year & a half, I stayed home. (& I haven’t gone out again since bringing our cat home) I work from home as a data analyst. I pay my bills online, & have my groceries, etc, delivered. The only person I see is Jake. My world is so isolated & so depressing. I'm very limited in what I can physically do & that adds massively to the depression. Plus, & this will probably sound selfish, but it's true nonetheless, ever since my brother died, I've felt this sense of impending doom & hopelessness. Like I'm next & it's only a matter of time. I don't know what to do about any of it. I sit here, in my messy house (I hate mess, but I can't physically do most of the cleaning, & Jake doesn't really do cleaning, despite being a huge help to me in other ways) & I exist. Nothing much changes from one day to the next. I feel not only so depressed, but such a horrible anxiety about my life, & about what will happen to Jake if something happens to me. And yet I feel totally helpless to do anything to change any of it. I just feel so emotionally exhausted all the time, like I can't cope with anything at all.
So, yeah... that's me. If you've made it this far, you're probably either bored to tears or disgusted with my moaning. Still, if you've read this, thanks. If anyone reads it, at least I'm not keeping it all to myself anymore. Maybe offloading all of this here will somehow make it easier for me to cope with it. Either way, it's out!
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fool-of-a-took1 · 10 months
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I will now share my list of the worst ships I’ve seen because wtf
1. Edmund Pevensie/Severus Snape
(Hehehe nooooo why noo)
1 Work
2. Draco Malfoy/Lucius Malfoy
(WHAT IS THIS?! INCEST!)
348 Works
3. Helen Parr | Elastigirl/Violet Parr
(INCEST)
13 Works
4. Dash Parr/Violet Parr
(Stop with the fucking incest)
9 Works
5. Bob Parr | Mr. Incredible/Violet Parr
(STOP IT)
9 Works
6. Dash Parr/Helen Parr | Elastigirl/Violet Parr
(FUCKING HELL)
4 Works
7. Simon Brown/Nanny McPhee
(No just no)
Not on ao3
8. Peter Pevensie/Susan Pevensie
(INCEST!! AGAIN!)
129 Works
9. Edmund Pevensie/Peter Pevensie
(INCEST!)
94 Works
10. Aziz/Ben/Doug/Evie/Jane/Jay/Mal/Carlos de Vil
(So many people)(actually don’t really have anything against it I just almost died trying to read the tag)
4 Works
11. Draco Malfoy/Fred Weasley
(Fuck no)
83 Works
12. Harry Potter/Severus Snape
(NOO absolutely NOT)
15,246 works (oh that’s bullshit)
13. Sirius Black/Charlie Weasley
(PEDOPHILIA! And just wrong generally)(idk, might not be pedophilia but it’s not right)
46 works
14. Hermione Granger/James Potter
(Dude wtf, they ship her with everyone)
271 works
15. Sirius Black/Severus Snape
(Nope nope ew ew ew!!)
2,126 works
16. Peggy Carter/Newt Scamander
(Not really bad ig but it’s interesting)(and how did that happen?)
1 work
17. Newt Scamander/Theseus Scamander
(Incest.. again)(people really like that for some reason)
1,155 works
18. Albus Dumbledore/Newt Scamander
(Okay first of all love Dumbledoor slander second of all NO!!)
184 works
19. Arthur Weasley/Ginny Weasley
(Aww come ooon stop it! Stop the incest! What is wrong with people?)
30 works
20. Hermione Granger/Rubeus Hagrid
(Wow they really do ship her with anyone)
21 works
21. Fang/Hermione Granger
(How? How did we get here? How did we make it worse?)
5 works (and it’s not even only one)
22. James Potter/Severus Snape
(NO NO NO JUST NOO)
929 works
23. Sirius Black/Lily Evans
(Yeah no not really my ballpark)(how did you even get it to this?)
75 works
24. Fenrir Greyback/Remus Lupin
(Definitely have not read this because I wanted an abusive relationship with Sirius swooping in later…)
122 works
25. Sirius Black/Tom Riddle
(… I’m not even gonna try)
30 works
26. Neville Longbottom/Severus Snape
(Why is this a thing?)(he is a teacher that fucking bullied him)
161 works
27. Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Severus Snape
(I’m sorry, is your brain fried?)
442 works
28. Sirius Black/Severus Snape
(Stop it, seriously)
2,126 works (okay I told myself not to comment on the amount but wtf is that?)
29. Regulus Black/Severus Snape
(ABSOLUTELY NOT!!)
483 works
30. Regulus Black/Sirius Black
(I mean I already knew blackcest was a thing but come ooon)
456 works
That’s not even all of it, I have more
(Also fyi I did know and expect the incest but I write it down because it’s bad and it’s a lot)
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alishamaybe · 2 years
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Wrote down a bunch of thoughts in a notebook while rewatching Pacific Rim: Uprising last week. After some clean-up, here they are:
The colours in the opening scene actually match PR1's vibe
Hmm Hermann's workspace is too messy-I know it's from drifting with Newt but...really?
AHH there's a photo of him and Newt on his desk that's so cute!!
Newt's so mean :(
Direct inconsistency about Precursors' motives?? What.
"And now we're shouting. There's no need to shout." WHAT. NEWT?? Not being loud??
Mako laughing with Jake!! :')
Uppercut to Lady Avenger through the building was funny
Jake tearing up as he runs to see if Mako's ok ;-; (yay emotions! good acting John Boyega!)
"I really am sorry about your sister. Half-sister." Hmm...feel like tension broke for humour too soon
Yeah, not liking Mako's death. A Hero, dying like that? No.
"Activate Gravity Sling!" Ahahah it's what a kid would come up with-I think GDT would like this
The jaegers don't have as much weight as in PR1
Newt's littol run down the stairs. It's him! It's Newt!
Newt's flat is waaay too neat. How.
"The boss could have died. Would have been great, actually!" Yay Newt! It's him!
Good transition from the shot of Jake asking for permission to the shot of Siberia
Escaping through the ice was cool
Callback to Chuck in Leatherback fight :')
Jake talking to Amara after she got dismissed had good weight-even the humour landed well
"I have a mission? Finally!" I think the emotion is defo a Hermann thing but expressing it? I guess drifting with Newt means it makes sense
Quan has zero personality
Wait, why is Newt working in mathy stuff and Hermann in bio??
Oh wait, Newt can use drifting as an excuse but he just needs the resources for the Precursors' plans
"I will shoot you. I will shoot you twice. You're officially fired!" Ahahaa
Hermann trying to get Newt to snap out of it haha trope! but also ;-;
"Yes!" from Hermann after Shao shut down feedback grenade-what was that shot?? loll
We don't know the other pilots-there's this shot of one pilot launching some missiles from the jaeger's fist but who was it?? Feels very not GDT
I laughed at this then, I laugh again now-what is this montage?? rrrghh
Lol the visual of Earth being covered in red clouds already designed and programmed? Newt, was that you?
"Knew it'd work." Hermann should be more confident because he's like that
Anti-kaiju refuge lift goes down, lots of people don't get in? The jaegers are damaging buildings-what?? Not pacifist GDT, especially Saber Athena, just rushing up and slicing
Strike Whip? GDT-like.
Ok, but I guess Jake and Nate trying to see how much impact Raijin(?) can take works...
Car gently being hit callback joke. It works :) (reluctant smile?)
Nate should have been given a different name. Too similar to 'Newt'
Shots of the little kaiju crawling onto big kaiju + red smoke-nice visual, sorta GDT, yeah! nice colours, dramatic. Weight was almost there!! Especially with Newt sighing. But Nate just had to say, "He's pretty big." Sigh.
Oo cam movement from Tacit Ronin statue to Amara's pod was good
Amara jumping yess, good arc conclusion
"You got this, brother." :')
Liwen smiling and looking relaxed! I liked that!
Amara and Jake having a snowball fight-too early? Suresh died.
Uggh why do the Precursors have to be generic aliens who want to invade Earth coz That's What Aliens Do-I mean, that's what it seems like with how mind-controlled!Newt is acting ("We are never gonna stop! Lousy little world")
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green-ville · 1 month
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Regrets
pt 4
TW: talk of a past suicide, with detail. also talk of a past character death with detail.
Synopsis: When Sirius Black came to her and asked her to watch over his godson, she didn’t think it would end up like this.
            A Triwizard Tournament. The strongest, bravest, most courageous. Three willing participants to take on challenges larger than life and only one would be the victor of eternal glory. People had died in this challenge. Only an idiot would put their name in it.
            When Sirina’s name is called, it was the last thing she expected.
            When Harry’s name was called, the fourth wizard in a tournament of three, she knew her Uncle Sirius was right.
            Someone was trying to kill him. And from the fact that she didn’t put her name in the Goblet of Fire, someone was clearly trying to kill her as well.
            Family meant everything to her. Sirina refused to let Harry Potter die, and she’d take every risk to keep him alive.
            Classes weren’t that bad. She knew no one in any of her classes and since she was always the first one there, she got preferential treatment. Aka, she picked her favorite seat. It was in the back corner of the room.
            The only class she foresaw issues with was Potions. Professor Snape, for a reason she could not figure out, hated her. He called on her frequently, as if trying to catch her off guard. She always paid attention in class. The boarding school she had gone to before Ilvermorny had seared that into her head. The issue was she didn’t have 84 years of experience in potions, and when asked about the history of eyes of Newt she was at a bit of a disadvantage.
            One particular lesson a few weeks in stuck out like a sore thumb.
            “Perhaps you will remember to pay attention, next time,” he drawled slowly. “Or at the very least, read the required material before showing up to class and wasting everyone’s time. Your father may have gotten by with a careless attitude, but rest assured, you will not.”
            The embarrassment that disabled her clashed into her boiling rage in a storm more violent than any hurricane, any tornado, any tsunami that had ever been, or ever will be. The glare that fixed itself onto her face could kill any grown man with a mere glance.
            Did he know her father? How could he say such horrible things about him if he knew Regulus? Or perhaps he was just another one of the crowds that said Regulus was a monster, Regulus was a Deatheater and deserved to fade from existence, forgotten by everyone.
            Siri bet that Snape had never even had a single fucking conversation with him.
            He would not ruin her image of Regulus no matter what he said. She knew her father better than anyone.
            When they finished their potions they could leave. The intense emotions made it harder to focus and Siri had trouble reading Snape’s handwriting. Even after copying it down in her notebook, written in a way that made it harder for her brain to screw up, she still took a long time.
            She was actually the last in the room.
            When she was finally done, flustered and on the verge of throwing something, she bottled it up and set it on one of the stands on Snape’s desk.
            He didn’t even look at her to remark, “Troll.”
            “Oh, now you’re calling me a Troll?” She exclaimed, about to lose it, halfway lost already. “You are one of the most unprofessional – “
            “No,” his lip curled with a snarl. “That’s your grade. Troll. It’s the lowest failing grade I can give you for not turning in what I very simply ordered. You have eyes and yet you can’t seem to read the clear instructions laid out on the board. Your father always did what he wanted too, without any care for anything. And look at where he is now.”
            Dead.
            Her father was dead.
            He had the nerve to insult a dead man right to the face of his daughter?
            Tears burned her dry eyes, and it happened. She lost it.
            She didn’t know how he found out that Regulus Black was her father when her Uncle had gone to such lengths to make sure she was only known as Sirina Argent. Headmaster Dumbledore said the secret would stay between them, but apparently he was just another liar. Her Uncle trusted him too much, it would seem.
            “You’re right,” Siri said with a sweet smile, eyes shinning with promise for a revenge so ruthless Satan would tell her to calm down. “The instructions were simple. I do have eyes. Forgive me, your majesty, for my insolence. Perhaps next week we can work on a potion to cure my Dyslexia because sometimes my brain switches letters around and your ‘simple instructions’ become an unsolvable clusterfuc-“
            “I did not ask for excuses,” he cut in cooly. “Though I should have expected them from you – “
            “Oh what,” she exclaimed, stepping back, “did my father give excuses for everything too?”
            He snarled a, “yes. And one day his past will catch up to him again and he’ll return to Azkaban just as he belongs. I’m sure there’ll be a cell waiting for you beside him as well since you’re so desperate to follow in his footsteps. Why don’t you start by 2 weeks of detention, 7 pm. Sirius would be very proud – “
            Siri did the most shocking thing yet.
            She slapped him clean across the face.
            Finally he was silent.
            Siri seethed quietly, more enraged than she had ever thought possible. “My father,” she began quietly, barely controlled. “Was Regulus Black, not Sirius. If you’re going to hate me, at least get that straight. And don’t bother trying to alert him of my behavior, he died 16 years ago. You could try my mother, but she’s dead as well. My Uncle, on the other hand, will be informed of exactly how you have treated me these past few weeks and you rest assured, Professor Snape, there will be consequences to your actions.”
             She stormed off, flicking her wand in the direction of her books, sending them straight into her hands. She snatched her backpack as it soared her way too, and then she stormed out of the room and into the crowd of the next class.
            In it, finally, a face she recognized.
            Harry blinked at her as she shoved her way through. “Siri! What’s wrong?” He called after her.
            “Everything’s absolutely alright! Snape, on the other hand, is on his period.”
            Siri seriously considered skipping Defense Against the Dark Arts. She was too emotional right now for it to be any good for her.
            But she had a perfect record. She had never missed a class period. She had to at least try. Or at least show up to get credit for the class.
            Professor Moody was unorthodox and borderline unethical. Today was a stations day and honestly, she never should have gone.
            Not with potions having happened. Not with her lack of sleep. Not with that damn Deatheater that she saw during the day now.
            It was a cumulative exam day. They were going to be faced with a number of different trails they had to overcome. All but one were easy. All but one she passed with flying colors. She had taken extra-curricular defense magic since she could do magic, of course she passed it all.
            And then the Boggart came.
            Siri wasn’t thinking, how could she? She was still flustered, fried, exhausted from potions.
            Inside the large wooden wardrobe, it rattled. Professor Moody stood off to the side, leaning against the wall.
            “Wand at the ready Argent. Wand at the ready.”
            Her quivering hand raised. That shake had persisted since the World Cup.
            “Steady now,” he warned, and opened the wardrobe.
            Black fog washed out of the wardrobe in heavy puffs. It covered the entire ten feet in front of her, and her wand shakily remained aimed forward.
            Even when the smoke dissipated, and she saw who was in front of her, even then it remained forward.
            A man she didn’t remember. A woman she couldn’t forget. His arm was around hers. He was barely taller than her, but he had eyes that were kind for a rare few.
            “You weren’t enough to keep me alive,” her father told her. The façade dropped as water gushed out of his mouth, and he held his throat, choking on water that kept gushing. Splattering on the floor in front of them.
            One of the many students behind her gasped loudly.
            “Argent,” Moody warned, gruff.
            Her father fell to his knees, choking. Face turning pink. . .red. . .blue. He collapsed to the ground as it became too much, body shaking as his body suffered from too little oxygen inside it. . .then none at all.
            Her mother barely looked at him as she stood on a chair, a rope coming down from the ceiling, noose already tied. It came into her awaiting hands. Her father stopped moving entirely, water soaking the floor. Her shoes.
            “Professor!” A student exclaimed.
            “You weren’t worth fighting for,” her mother said, fitting the noose snuggly on her head. “And one day soon you’ll give up like we did. No one to keep you going because no one will ever care about you.”
            “PROFESSOR!” The same student exclaimed.
            Her mother stepped off the chair just like she had done all those years ago. The rope pulled taught –
            “Ridiculous,” a soft whisper. The boggarts vanished in a swirl of black fog, sucking back into the wardrobe that Moody closed with a tap of his gnarled walking stick.
            The silence didn’t even register to her.
            She hadn’t seen that part of it. Her mother stepping off. She heard a chair clatter. Little Siri was curious. She went to find out.
            She found a body swinging from the ceiling, and she screamed.
            She didn’t see the first part though.
            And her father. She had never seen how he died. All she could confidently say was that he didn’t think he was going back, and the location he had told her of was near the cliffs of Moher.
            As she thought about it later on, when she was older, she assumed drowning. She had never confirmed it.
            “Argent. . .”
            Siri blinked, languid, and stared at Professor Moody.
            “Go to Madame Pomfrey.” She didn’t think it possible for him to speak in anything that resembled a gentle tone.
            Siri turned, ignoring the crowd of staring students, and left the room. This time she forgot her things entirely.
    ��       She didn’t know who Madame Pomfrey was. Quite frankly she didn’t give a shit.
            Siri needed to write a letter and she was going to write one, so she went to the Owlery. She found some paper, pulled out a stupid freaking quill because apparently pens were archaic, and wrote her longest message ever. Her hands kept shaking, and honestly she couldn’t read her own words. They moved around and showed her words she hadn’t wrote, calling her idiot, dumb, failure in more ways than dialect had invented.
            She had to trust he’d be able to decipher it, because she was already sending the message away on a borrowed Owl.
            When she heard other people coming she slipped away quietly, unseen, and went to her hiding place. She normally only came here during the night when she couldn’t sleep. No Deatheater had ever bothered her on the roof tiles of Hogwarts. Coming during the day was different. The tiles were warm on her back.  The breeze that brushed past carried the scent of pine and fall weather, which had set in not long ago.
            It was peaceful.
            “Care if I join you?”
            If she had the energy, she’d have jolted from fear. She didn’t have the energy. Even turning her head was a chore.
            Cedric Diggory was not who she expected.
            She faced the sky again.
            “Alright, taking that as a tentative yes,” he said, carefully making his way towards her, balance perfect. He sat down slowly, and then fully committed to laying down right beside her, his left side against her right side.
            “I heard what happened.”
            She didn’t respond.
            “That’s a lot to happen all in a day.”
            What was he expecting from this conversation? A teary revelation?
            “Snape was out of line. Potter heard everything, relayed the message to me because he couldn’t find you. I had an idea on where you were though, and here you are.”
            Her brow raised. Her voice was raspy. “You knew I was here?”
            “Course. You always come here at night.”
            He knew?
            “I’m a Prefect. It’s my job to know when people are out of bed,” he admitted, and those butterflies in her stomach died. “When I first saw you I was terrified. Thought you were going to. . .but you didn’t. You just laid there. For hours. You don’t sleep a lot, do you?” He asked gently, staring at the cloudy sky with her.
            “I try.”
            “I don’t suppose it’ll help at all if I said I’m sorry for what happened?”
            “No.” She had heard enough “I’m sorry” the day of her mother’s funeral. She was sure she had heard them for her father’s funeral, but that she didn’t remember. No memories haunted her of her father, only the lack of them.
            “Then I guess I’ll just be here for you if you need to talk.”
            “And what if I never want to talk?” She asked, still raspy. “What if I want to pretend this never happened? That everything was normal again?”
            “Well, I don’t know how likely that is to happen. Word spread. . .I think the entire student body knows you’re Sirius’ Black niece by now.”
            Tears pooled again. “And Potter still tried to look for me?”
            “If I’m to be honest, he didn’t seem to care about that fact.”
            The tears slipped down, the silence settled and he didn’t leave. He stayed beside her as if he could actually content where he was. And perhaps it was her need to finally talk, perhaps it was because she hadn’t seen Mandy in forever and they hadn’t spoken since she left; perhaps it was because she was so freaking tired she couldn’t even think right now without her head throbbing so bad she wanted to vomit.
            It was likely multifactorial.
            She started to speak.
            “My father died when I was young. I don’t remember him,” she admitted with a sniffle. “He wrote me letters though. From before I was born to the day he never came back. So it feels like I knew him. He made a lot of bad choices. For a time he was a bad person. He made the right decisions in the end. . . and. . .and my mother tried to hold on. She did. It was too much. I found her after she took her life.”
            “Sirina. . .”
            “So I grew up and I had this code. I wouldn’t have any regrets. My father had regrets and to amend for them, he gave his life for the cause. And my mother died because she couldn’t live without him. So I wouldn’t have regrets. Even if I didn’t like what I was doing, I refused to regret my decision. . .Until that day.”
            “The World Cup,” he responded, knowing.
            She nodded as much as she could, tears slipping into her hair. “I saw those Deatheaters. . .I tried to stop them. . .and there was this spell. I had never heard of it before, never seen it before. . .I can’t stop thinking about it now.” She laughed humorlessly. “I remember it cutting me open. I was choking on my own blood. I thought I was going to die – I should have died. Someone saved me, they knew the reversal spell. I kinda wish they hadn’t because now I can’t sleep. And at first it was just I can’t sleep, but now the Deatheater haunts me during the day. I see him and it’s always the same thing over and over again. He uses that spell and I go down, choking, helpless. . .”
            “It won’t happen again,” Cedric stated, his own firm belief prominent in his tone.
            She laughed again. “You can’t be certain of that.”
            “If I’m always by you, yes I can. I’ll protect you.”
            “From a Deatheater?” She asked, disbelieving.
            He turned his head down to hers. As if drawn by an invisible pull, she looked up to him.
            “From anything,” he responded simply. “Anything and anyone.”
            “You can’t. . .” She couldn’t whisper anymore.
            “I will,” he answered again, just as simply. “Like now, I am going to protect you from a great long fall by asking that we go to a safer location to hide from people. Have you ever been to the Astronomy Tower? Just as high up, but with bars in the way.”
            Despite the shift in tone, he carried the same level of intimacy as before.
            “Don’t tell me you’re scared?” She asked, trying to joke.
            He shook his head. “Of course not, but I can’t chivalrously save you from falling to your death if I am also falling to my death.”
            She didn’t know how she would’ve responded to that, her stomach growled first.
            “I have food in my satchel,” he offered.
            “We’re not allowed to take food out of the Great Hall, mister Prefect” she said, brow piqued.
            “I didn’t,” he grinned, winking. “Took it out of the kitchen directly. Fifth year’s area always stressed and forget to eat. I’ve found it best to keep some snacks on hand at all times to prevent hunger deprived studying.”
            His care for others was the reason she allowed him to help her up. Why he decided to keep hold of her hand was beyond her. When they got up though, she stopped right away.
            Cedric glanced to her. “It’s that way,” he pointed.
            “I’m hallucinating a pirate ship now.”
            “What?. . .Nope. . .I see it too. . .”
            “So we’re both hallucinating a pirate ship?”
            “It must be the hunger. We should go eat something.”
            They left the roof but both kept looking in the direction of the Pirate ship that docked in the Black Lake. Neither knew that if they had kept searching the grounds on the rooftop, they’d also find a French Mansion newly added to the landscape.
            Instead they sat in the Astronomy Tower right beside the railing. They leaned against the metal bars, on opposite side of the opening from each other, feet intermittently intertwined. Cedric’s foot, her foot, Cedric’s foot, her foot.
            He knocked her foot again with another question.
            “I could help you in potions. . .if you need.”
            “I. . .Everything circulated, didn’t it?”
            “A bit. It would be covert. No one would know about it. Just you and me.”
            She took a bite of the brownie. She liked that idea.
            “I have trouble reading sometimes,” all the time, but whatever. “I uh, I have Dyslexia. The letters kinda get screwy. Normally I can figure it out, but under pressure it’s harder.”
            That alone was hard to admit.
            “I’ll do my best to help. . .” He drifted off, both of them picking up on the sounds of leather shoes on stairs.
            This belonged to nicer shoes than what they wore.
            And it belonged to a man better dressed than them too.
            Siri couldn’t help her surprise, the emotion showing on her face as clear as day.
            “You came?” She asked, not expecting that. She thought maybe a letter to Dumbledore, but this?
            Her Uncle, Mr. Argent, entered the Astronomy Tower. He found her immediately, and sighed in relief.
            “Sirina, first things first,” he was professional and orderly even now. “Are you alright?”
            “Better now,” she admitted, standing up. “I. . .I didn’t mean to pull you away, I’m sorry, I was upset – “
            “And you had every right to be,” he cut in. “I plan to talk to Dumbledore immediately. I’m supposed to be in a meeting with him now but when he said you had skipped the rest of your classes for the day, I had to find you. You never skip classes, I knew it was serious.”
            She didn’t have anymore tears inside her. What she did have? The energy to surge forward and throw her arms around him, squeezing him as tight as she could. He didn’t hesitate this time to hug her back.
            And for the first time ever, she knew what it was like to have a father.
            The meeting with Dumbledore, Professor Sprout (Head of House), Madame Pomfrey, Snape, and Moody was eventful.
            Snape was reprimanded, not only had to provide a verbal apology but agree to corrective action, and he was put on warning that if anything of the sort ever happened again, he’d be terminated on the spot. Her Uncle helped with that last bit. Being close co-workers with the Minister of Magic had its benefits.
            Professor Moody, seeing as it was his first offense, had to provide his course syllabus for intense review. He had to apologize for not intervening when the situation clearly became inappropriate for sixth year expectations.
            The conversation with Madame Pomfrey was private, just Siri and her. She told the Healer of her nightmares, of her difficulty sleeping. Madame Pomfrey was going to be providing her sleeping potions for a dreamless night, and Siri had to schedule a meeting with her twice a week for chatting.
            Apparently she needed ‘therapy’. It was either that or detention for swearing and accusing a male professor of having a period in front of younger students.
            “So,” Professor Dumbledore said, hands folded on his desk. “Do we have a deal, Mr. Argent? All your requests will be met, and in exchange you will abstain from legal action?”
            “You’ll never hear from me again, as long as I don’t get another letter like the one I received,” he assured. “If I do, then I will return and without the opportunity for you to keep your Professors in check.”
            Professor Dumbledore smiled. “I’m glad we’re in agreement. May I see you out?”
            “If you so choose.”
            They made their way out, heading down the spiral staircase controlled by a bronze Gryffin with its wings spread wide. That seemed like he was picking favorites.
            She didn’t expect to see Cedric waiting just outside it, and she stopped, brows raised.
            “Cedric?”
            “Hey! Oh. . .Headmaster,” he nodded, “Sir,” he nodded to her Uncle.
            “Cedric,” her Uncle repeated, “Amos’ boy?”
            “Yes sir. Pleasure to meet you,” he held out his hand.
            Her Uncle shook it, gaze calculating. “I trust you can show her back to her dorms?”
            “I’d be happy to sir.”
            “Good.” He nodded, then turned to Sirina, giving her a kiss on the forehead that had her blinking. “Write me if anything else comes up. I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch.”
            “See you then. . .” She stopped herself from saying ‘love you’, and instead finished with, “thanks for everything.”
            “Of course. Be good.”
            He walked off with Professor Dumbledore, chatting with him privately.
            “You didn’t have to wait – “
            “That was never in question. I had to see how you were doing.”
            Damnit, why was he so nice?
            She sagged, running a hand through her wavey black hair. “Better, actually. A lot better. Had a bit of a mental breakdown earlier. . .apparently talking through things helps?”
            Cedric laughed as he walked beside her. “I could’ve told you that. You can talk with me anytime, I’ll be happy to listen.”
            “Obviously the same to you. Anytime you need to rant or shout, I’m there, got it?”
            He smiled down at her. “Sounds like a plan Siri. How about we don’t study potions tonight and take it easy instead? I figured out why that pirate ship was in the Lake.”
            “We’re being attacked?”
            “Even worse,” he said, tsking, “the Triwizard Tournament.”
            That was the last thing she really heard from him. It acted as a trigger word, yanking her right back to the conversation she had with Sirius.
            Triwizard Tournament.
            Something happens to Harry every year.
            Protect him.
            And she had been so overwhelmed these past weeks that she had completely forgot.
            “They put an age restriction on it though,” Cedric explained. “Only 17 and up.”
            Thank God. He was 14, he was nowhere near close to being able to do it.
            “I was thinking of putting my name in it.”
            She stopped, chest tightening. “What? But – but no, that’s dangerous. C’mon.”
            He turned to face her, smiling again like her fear made him happy. “They’ve got more protection this time Siri. And there’s no way of knowing if I’ll actually get in. Loads of people are putting their names in. . .I’d regret it if I didn’t actually try.”
            That word. Damn that word.
            She understood because she was the same way, and she refused to be a hypocrite.
            Piercing her lips, she reached for his hand, holding it tightly. “If you get in, I’m ordering you to be careful, alright? No stupid heroics. You be careful.”
            “You worried about me Black?” He grinned, stormy gaze twinkling.
            “I’m always worried about you Diggory,” she huffed out. “You saw me and thought I’d make a good friend. Clearly there are a few wires loose up there.”
            “How could I not want to be your friend? You’re one of the most loyal and compassionate people I’ve ever met. Anyone would be lucky to be your friend.”
            She hugged him before she knew what she was doing. He smelled like outside and she loved the outdoors, so she hugged him tighter, eyes shutting.
            “If you get in, you’re going to be careful. Whatever happens I’ll do my best to help, okay? You need to practice spells, I will figure out the best spells. You need to practice potions, I’ll grab the ingredients if you point to them cause I can’t fucking read,” he chuckled as he hugged her back, cheek on her head. “But you have to be careful, okay?”
            “It’s a deal Siri. I help you with potions, and if my name is called, you help me with the Tournament.”
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elysiancapital · 5 months
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Pre-Mortem
I was looking back at notes on Daniel Pink's book When: The Scientific Secretes of Perfect Timing and came across the "Pre-Mortem" approach. I couldn't remember what this was, but I remember having gotten excited about this approach when I first read it, so I looked it up again.
To contrast, post-mortem is like an autopsy where something is inspected to determine why it died.  The shortest summary I found of a "pre-mortem", is to ask yourself before something is started "If this process results in poor outcomes, what will have been the causes?  What can we do now to ensure better results?"
Now, I'm not trying to promote negative doom & gloom thinking here, but in my approach to this exercise, there were three things that immediately came to mind that I could address.
Given how quickly I could recall these things that I knew could be an issue, it was apparent to me that I had been stressing about them already and just hadn't taken the time or responsibility to face them head-on. I can't remember who said it first, but the quote "worrying means you suffer twice" was apparently popularized by Newt Scamander in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. With this in mind, I see that doing a post-mortem exercise is also super helpful in the sense of making sure we make a plan to address things that we may be stressing over with or without a plan.
Another way of looking at this concept is to make sure you address the weak points in your plan to make sure you cover the downside of the operation. In a famous example, when Sir Richard Branson (founder of Virgin Group) started Virgin Airlines, he negotiated with Boeing so that within the first year, he would be able to return the airplanes for the full purchase price.
In summary:
Pre-Mortem Approach: A proactive strategy involving envisioning potential failure scenarios before starting a project or process. Ask yourself "If this fails, what would have caused it, and what can be done now to ensure success?"
Proactive Problem Solving: Engaging in a pre-mortem exercise helps identify potential issues or weaknesses in a plan. Addressing these concerns beforehand prevents undue stress and allows for proactive problem-solving.
Address Weak Points: Emphasizes the importance of addressing weaknesses in a plan or operation to mitigate potential downsides.
Avoiding Unnecessary Stress: Recognizing that worrying without taking action leads to unnecessary suffering, and conducting a pre-mortem or post-mortem exercise aids in developing a plan to address concerns rather than dwelling on them without resolution.
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pathsofoak · 2 years
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OK so I mentioned I'm going to bring back the way-station kids. That last post about it was more of a brainstorm, but here's a more detailed idea.
So first of all, it mixes really well with a few other loose ends:
Teresa's arc kind of hinges on the idea that WCKD used her as much as everyone else, just in a less torturous and obvious way. She only knew what WCKD absolutely needed her to know.
Ava Paige is still dead in my fic, and in the current draft she just kinds of disappears from the whole picture for most of the kids, but I want her to be more important than that. I kind of want to work more with the fact that she let the immunes go in both the books and the movies, accepting there would never be a cure. (Which is possible in my story because Thomas's blood isn't really a cure, it only works on Brenda and Newt, and that is in part because of Thomas's relationship with them.)
The Valley, the relatively utopic Safe Zone WCKD takes the kids to in part four of my fic is a) not something Janson would ever bother building (it's mostly just the people themselves, WCKD just handles everything related to the Flare and the borders), and b) can't possibly be built in the time the story takes place. It's as good as done by the time Janson shows Thomas pictures of it, which is four months after the Death Cure max. Which means WCKD would have been a part of it sooner.
That brings me to the way-station kids (short for: those kids Thomas and Aris saw). It's implied in the Death Cure that they either died or were just never found (Rachel's name is on that rock), but ehh.
For arc and plot reasons though, Teresa and Dijken (important OC) can't know about them when my fic begins (at the end of the Death Cure). So, Ava Paige kept this a secret from them. Janson doesn't know either, because "We still have twenty-eight immunes right here. We can find more." (Death Cure) I'm still sticking as close to canon as I can here. I'm operating from the plot holes.
At the end of the first film, Ava Paige talks to a group of board members/fellow scientists about the end of the Maze Trials. She mentions that there were more survivors than anticipated (ironic, because in the films there's actually less than in the book, unless you count the extra mazes).
It's also heavily implied that the reason those kids were ever put in a coma was so the Right Arm couldn't get them.
Anyway, somewhere between Minho, Aris and Sonya being caught in the Scorch Trials, and the hijacking of that train, all of those kids disappeared.
Because Ava Paige made them. For a few reasons:
One, this group was already assumed missing or dead by all of the other kids (except for Aris and Minho, maybe Sonya too). It wouldn't be that hard to sell it. WCKD has killed before. That means no matter where the Right Arm looked, they would only find the ones she took from the Scorch. The way-station kids would stay safe in WCKD's hands.
I'm also working off the assumption that with some kids, the immune response or whatever WCKD tried to create with the Maze Trials was stronger than with others. (They did say in the Death Cure that Minho's was one of the strongest they'd ever seen). So maybe they just assumed that the serum from these kids wouldn't improve much, so it would be better to keep them in some kind of stasis/come (fuck WCKD lol, but also it's plot convenient because it means I get to write soft!group B with Rachel in the background of part five).
When she learned the cure wouldn't work, but also knew Janson would just keep trying, she had an incentive to protect them. Which brings me to how I'll bring them back.
It's implied and also just straight up canon in my fic that initially, Mary Cooper and Ava Paige were decent if not good friends, until the idea of using immune kids happened (which in my fic, Mary Cooper at first went along with, but she left WCKD around the time Teresa was seven or eight, give or take).
Paige of course knew Mary Cooper was important in the Right Arm, so there's a connection. So she makes a plan. She sets up a hard drive filled with files on the kids (their lives at WCKD, not really before, for plot reasons), as well as instructions on how to properly take care of the kids she hid away in the Valley. This whole thing is encrypted with a code someone will have to personally know Mary Cooper for to crack (I'm thinking a sentence or something she said often). Something both VInce and Teresa (Mary practically raised Teresa her first few years at WCKD, in my fic) would know.
There will be this big moment in part four where Teresa permanently chooses the Right Arm (or rather her friends, tbh, she's a bit uneasy about a new major commitment to a larger goal later on) over WCKD, and lets Vince help her (she's very very injured there. Sort of). In this moment, Vince would have to--in the middle of a battle--figure out that sentence with her, because the location of all those kids is also where Thomas is (long story short, he peaked, Janson did the same to him, just worse). They figure it out, get the kids, Thomas has his big moment facing Janson, then comes part five, in which most of those kids recover and adjust in the background. Rachel will be a little more up front, because I want to include Aris, Harriet, and Sonya/Lizzie later (though still in the background, the focus so far is really on Brenda and group A, tbh. I'm already juggling 8 POVs).
Anyway. That.
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kimhargreeves · 2 years
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Two Sides, Two Wars-Albus Dumbledore x Reader x Gellert Grindelwald
Summary: You alongside Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald studied at Hogwarts. Many years later the relationship between you three changed, now Albus asks for your help. Will you be faithful to him or betray him once you come face to face with Grindelwald again.
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(I just arrived from watching the film and I absolutely needed to write about Albus and Gellert. I don't want to go into the whole Grindelwald replacement, Johnny Depp is an incredibly amazing person and actor but I absolutely adored this newer version of Grindelwald, which is why I decided to write this.)
I was woken up in the middle of the night by a loud crash from downstairs. Immediately I threw out my wand and began to slowly descend the stairs, noticing the window was wide open I went over and made sure to shut it again. Who knows what kind of creep can come in-
"Evening (Y/N)." A loud scream escaped from my mouth before I calmed down and noticed who the figure was.
The lights inside of my home all lit up. "Do you know what time it is, Albus?" I found at the smirking man who found joy in making me afraid.
"I do in fact." Albus nodded his head and took his hat off to look back at me. "(Y/N)."
As soon as his name escaped from his lips I knew exactly what he wanted. "I'm afraid I can't help you."
I said sitting next to him and saw his tired eyes. "You were already involved as soon as you attended the reunion."
I remained shut and remembered what happened just a few days ago. Grindelwald summoned all the wizards to join him, some did and others died. Back then I accompanied Newt on his trip since Albus wanted me to stay by his side and make sure he didn't make a mess.
Newt was his own person for sure but he did take my advice on some things. I was once his teacher after all so he knew exactly what was right or wrong. But soon after we made it to New York we had fought an obscurus but that wasn't the only thing we had to face.
I remember those cold eyes staring back at me while they arrested him. Gellert Grindelwald was behind it all, he had taken many different faces to stay hidden among wizards and muggles.
Since that day I returned to Europe and only helped Albus when he asked me, only if it was necessary but it seems that he just doesn't get me. I want to know part of this but I guess I have no choice, he is one of the wisest men I've known.
"I saw Leta LeStrange die in front of me among other wizards. He is way more powerful than ever. Don't you see he's also corrupting Credence's mind." My voice broke since I saw the poor boy suffering, not knowing who he really is.
"I know how you felt and because of this I ask you to join me. Newt and Theseus are already looking into it. He's already in China looking for a Qilin."
I hummed and smirked looking at him again. "The poor boy hasn't taken a rest from you."
Albus smiled just a bit and I noticed him looking at something across from the room. Slowly he stood up and made his way towards the picture frame I had, I stood up and made my way closer to him and stopped by his side.
"I tried getting rid of it but I just couldn't." I whispered looking at the frame.
Looking at the moving picture. I looked so happy standing in the middle of Albus and Gellert. It was a picture we had taken the last time we got to spend time at Hogsmead.
Glancing up at Albus I saw his eye softened. "He really loved you you know?"
I hummed again and kept looking at him, "He also loved you." I tell him and his eyes seemed so sad. Back then when we studied, I knew they had something going on despite Grindelwald studying at Durmstrang. Then after that they both confessed their feelings towards me or sort of did.
I was extremely confused and didn't know what answer to give them. I felt torn between them both. I had strong feelings towards them and still do.
In the picture I smiled at the camera and held their shoulders and noticed the small leaves falling behind us, it was a lovely autumn afternoon.
"Do you even think we have a chance at stopping him?"
"What do you think, (Y/N)?" Albus redirected the question.
I know well what he means. Would I be able to put those feelings aside and actually put a stop to him? Grindelwald is a huge menace to the wizarding world and to muggles.
Even if it's been a couple of years the last exchange I had with Grindelwald did leave my heart broken. He said many awful things when I refused to leave my place and go with him. I didn't know whether he would be back or not because he was extremely angry so I moved away for time and returned to live nearby the school.
I turned to look up at Albus and gave him a small nod. "Okay I'll help you.. but you need to tell me about that blood pact you both made."
Neither Albus nor Gellert even informed me of what they had done. So, Albus has a lot of explaining to do.
By the next morning the both of us were inside the school, inside of Albus's empty class once he had ended them. Minerva came by and ushered the kids to hurry up do we could both talk. I patiently waited for Dumbledore to explain.
And that he did, he told me everything. How his brother also once had a kid, and that kid being Credence. Albus would be the one to deal with him meanwhile he told me what I had to do, to go undercover and make it seem like I am interested in joining the other side.
To grab Gellert's attention and make it seem like I am genuinely interested in his ways for him to win and start a war against muggles.
"I see so that's what you want." Another pawn in one of his many games. "Fine." I crossed my arms and sighed loudly.
I have to do this right, but those words will still haunt me. Gellert made fun of my background, since most of my family weren't wizards or witches. I mostly came out of a muggle family. And he didn't like that one bit.
"Great. Yusuf will also be close to you, convince him and his people that you are genuine in his ideology. I'm sure you'll come up with an excellent plan."
As soon as he said that I heard footsteps approaching. We looked back and saw Newt's brother Theseus alongside Jacob Kowalski and one of my friends Lally Hicks.
Newt was still somewhere in China.
Albus nodded his head looking at Newt and rested his eyes on me again. "Do take care, (Y/N)." It felt like he wanted to say something else but he hesitated.
I frowned just a bit and accepted what he said. "I'll be seeing you soon."
With that being said I exited the room and in an instant was in Germany. I need to make it seem like I'm suspicious that way his people will take me to him. I did the first thing that came to my mind and I drew out my want and attacked one of the suspicious men that were walking close to me.
"Oops."
That caught everyone's attention. They raised their wands at me which made me roll my eyes as I held my hands up. "Okay okay." I internally smirked knowing that they're idiots but deep down I was already getting nervous.
A woman walked up to me and grabbed my wand while two men held my hands back. We were transported outside of a huge building, a castle in the middle of nowhere by a cliff.
"Keep your hands off of me." I angrily spat at the tall man who refused to let me go.
I noticed a man look up a couple of stairs and slowly he retreated his hands back. I looked up and my dark eyes met with Grindelwald's mismatched ones. My heart started beating faster, this shouldn't be happening. Is it because I'm scared of him or…
"(Y/N), it's nice to see you again." But I certainly did miss his deep voice and strong accent and long gaze.
You were the one who first left.
I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out, I noticed a faint smirk on his lips. He stood tall and proud.
"It's about time you showed your true face." I cleared my throat when I said that. He's already used many faces and names, now he's finally showing his true real face.
The one I once fell in love with.
How would Albus Dumbledore feel about this?
Gellert tilted his head to look down at me, his hands folded behind his back. "Don't you think it's time that I did?"
My eyes wandered over to the woman standing next to him, her glare on me did nothing. "What are you doing in Germany?"
"I-I" I looked over his back and saw another pair of dark eyes staring at me. Credence. I looked at him worried yet happy for the man he's grown to be.
"Albus..You we're right..He threw me away once I was of help, he replaced me for others who did their job a lot more better that I did-"
I shut my mouth when I saw a expression darken. "I'm sorry my dear but I find it hard to believe it." He turned back to see the woman standing by Credence. "Queenie. Is she telling the truth?"
My eyes widened when I noticed she was here too. I was about to shake my head but realized that all eyes were on me.
"Well?"
The tall blonde woman shook her head. "She's telling the truth." She said without stammering. Gellert hummed at himself and made me follow him inside. I turned back and glanced back at Credence who kept his stare on me.
"I also-"
"Silence!" Gellert's voice was heard through the top of the building once I followed him in. Outside I noticed Credence's phoenix flying around.
"Albus hadn't been treating me well like he did befor-" I began to say until I was shut up when he came over and leaned down to capture my lips.
I remained still surprised by his sudden action. Should I push him back or play along? No, I need information, do as Albus told me to do.
I closed my eyes shut and ran my fingers up his black and grey hair. I felt his hands grab my face when we separated.
"Albus shouldn't have ignored you."
His mismatched eyes stared down at my own until he started to let go of me. "Why didn't you join me back then? I was surprised to see you not once but twice."
First one when he got arrested. Second when he killed Leta one of my students.
"I was afraid of what Albus would say. I truly thought that he was doing the right thing, but he's too passive to start any war. I thought deeply and figured out that what you are doing is the right choice. The wizarding world needs more people like you."
I took a step back and started walking closer to the edge of the place and stared at the many snowy mountains up ahead.
"Do you remember how the three of us would sneak out once Durmstrang and Beauxbatons visited? We used to do so many stupid things."
We made so many fond memories. People definitely talked since it was unusual for a Gryffindor, Slytherin and a student of Durmstrang to get along.
Gellert walked over and stopped right next to me. "Why does it feel like you are hiding something?"
My entire body froze when I heard those words come out of his mouth. I turned to him and saw his icy stare. "Oh, (Y/N). If I find out that you are a sort of spy you won't like the consequences."
"Why would you say those things? I thought about this decision hard and-"
"I know you did but we need to build a trust between us."
He's already suspecting of me.
"You will have to bring me something? A Qilin. I need that creature."
I tilted confused which he noticed. "All things will be revealed to you soon." My breathing stopped for a second when I felt his hands on my cheek again.
"I'm glad you chose the right path to join. My followers alongside Credence and you will be heading out to find the creature."
The doors were pushed open and I stepped aside and saw his followers patiently waiting with Credence behind them.
"Bring me the Qilin. Do whatever it is necessary." His followers nodded and I began to follow them until Gellert spoke again. "(Y/N), do not let me down."
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flywolfwriting · 3 years
Text
Together
Hello! Time for another oneshot. This is inspired by a comic strip done by @10yrsyart a while ago, which you can find here.
------------
Armageddon had been averted and Aziraphale and Crowley were just returning to the bookshop to settle in for a night of drinking when the phone rang.  
Crowley flopped across his favorite settee while Aziraphale answered, but sat up when he heard the angel say, “How did you get this number?” There was a moment of silence, where Crowley stared intently at Aziraphale, before the angel said, “Well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt... where...? Ah. Yes. Okay, we will be there soon,” and hung up.
“What was that about?” Crowley asked cautiously.  
“We’ve been invited to dinner in Taddfield,” Aziraphale said, and Crowley stiffened.  
“The Anti-”
Aziraphale shook his head. “That young woman with the book, who you hit with your car, Anathema.”
Crowley blew a raspberry. “She hit me,” he said, and if his voice was a little petulant then that was his business.  
His complaint went ignored as Aziraphale collected his coat from where he’d just hung it up and gestured to Crowley to get up.  
“Angel-”
“Come on, Crowley. It’s rude to leave her waiting.”
“But we have plans.”
“We can drink together every night of the week if we so desire,” Aziraphale pointed out primly. “It’s not every day we get the chance to meet a descendant of as esteemed a witch as Agnes Nutter.”  
“But we’ve already met her!” Crowley whined, dragging himself upright and sulking after his friend. “We’ve met her twice!”
Aziraphale held the door open for Crowley and shooed him out of the bookshop before closing and locking it behind them. “Well yes, my dear boy, but now we can actually talk to her.”
Crowley shoved his hands in his pockets as they made their way to the Bently. “I bet she’s going to be talking to us,” he muttered.  
It wasn’t that he really minded going to dinner with someone, but really... he did. There was a reason they avoided extended associations with humans – beyond the business association each of them apparently had with Shadwell, who Crowley had come to find out what scamming him and really he ought to make all of his shoelaces disappear for that. No, they avoided friendships with humans because they always went sour. Humans aged and died, and had a nasty habit of noticing when angels and demons didn’t age, and sometimes they got very burn-at-the-stake-y.  
Which Crowley knew from experience. A very, very unpleasant experience. Fortunately, Aziraphale had made a timely arrival and engineered a distraction to get Crowley down.
But back to the point.  
Humans were unpredictable, as the last week should have shown. Humans with supernatural powers were even more suspect, and ones that at the very least suspected, and at worst knew, what they were...  
Disaster waiting to happen, in Crowley’s opinion.
Never the less, he drove them to Jasmine Cottage with his usual pedal-to-the-metal attitude and satisfied himself with enjoying Aziraphale’s usual complaints.  
The girl – Anathema, Aziraphale reminded him – met them outside and greeted them with a warm, if somewhat wary, smile.  
Crowley halted before the porch and glowered.  
“Whatever is the matter my dear?” Aziraphale asked from the doorway.
“Can’t come in.”
“Whyever not?”
Crowley pointed at the horseshoe over the door.
“Ah,” Aziraphale said with a small wince, then glanced guiltily at Anathema.
“I can take it down for now,” she said, albeit reluctantly, and stepped inside to retrieve a hammer and stool. Crowley wished she’d insisted on leaving it so he’d have an excuse to wait in the car. Or, better yet, go home and make Aziraphale catch the bus or a cab, since he’d insisted on coming out here anyway.  
“Thank you,” Aziraphale said warmly as Anathema stepped down and placed the horseshoe aside. He looked meaningfully at Crowley, who also mumbled a thank you and followed them inside.  
An awkward-looking man was in the kitchen. He looked up and stuttered a greeting. “I’m Newt,” he said as he shook their hands. “I was at the airbase with Anathema when-” his brow furrowed.
“He has a hard time remembering it,” Anathema explained. “I think Adam did something.”
“Hardly difficult to believe,” Aziraphale said. “There are just some things the human mind cannot comprehend. Would you like a hand with dinner?”
Crowley groaned and slunk off to the side to let them finish setting the table.  
Dinner itself was mostly uneventful, but Crowley was pleased to find that he was right and Anathema was peppering them with questions about Heaven and Hell and all the things they weren’t supposed to talk about with humans.  
Aziraphale, of course, was answering evasively, but still giving her more information than he should have.  Crowley, for his part, sat there with his arms folded on the table and tried to keep Aziraphale from wandering too far off topic.
Finally, as midnight drew close, Newt excused himself to bed and the conversation began to wind down.  
“So...” Anathema rested her chin on her palm. “Are you two like, y’know...”
Crowley, who had previously been leaned back in his chair, sat up and raised a palm. “No, we’re not ‘together,’” he said before Aziraphale could answer.  He didn’t need his best friend feeling awkward after the madness that had been the last week.  
“Whatever do you mean, dear?”  
Crowley looked at Aziraphale, hand drooping, to find the angel frowning at him. With a jolt Crowley realized what Aziraphale meant and he whipped back around toward Anathema. “I misspoke. We are, in fact, ‘together.’”  
Aziraphale finished his tea with a satisfied smile. “Thank you for dinner, Anathema,” he said, standing. “We really must be getting on, but do call if you’d ever like to get together again. Crowley, dear.”
Crowley gave a half-hearted wave to Anathema and followed Aziraphale outside, stomach fluttering and face warm.  
Together.
“Honestly, my dear,” Aziraphale said with an exasperated sigh as they pulled into the street. “Six thousand years and you still don’t think...?”
Crowley shrugged. “Didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Aziraphale huffed and took one of Crowley’s hands off the steering wheel to lace their fingers together. “Oh, Crowley.”
It really didn’t feel that out of place, now that Crowley was thinking about it. Quite obvious, really. He felt a little silly. “Yeah, well...” he grinned at Aziraphale and hit the gas.
“Both hands on the wheel!” Aziraphale flung Crowley’s hand back at him and grasped at the seat, eyes clenched shut but a small smile on his face.
Crowley cackled as he accelerated.
Together.
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parkersbliss · 3 years
Text
Stubborn | Minho
Tumblr media
Pairing: Minho x Female Reader
Warnings: blood, near death, cursing??
WC; 2.5K
synopsis: yes, it does take a near death experience to finally admit your feelings
a/n: probably my last imagine before 2021 SO HAPPY NEW YEAR BYE 2020
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List
“I’m just saying,” Newt said, arms crossed. “It would save everyone a lot of pain and headaches if one of you just said it.”
“I’m not a liar,” You replied.
“You’re lying to yourself right now,” Newt smirked, watching as your gaze hardened and you smacked his arm.
Thomas jogs up to the two of you, taking one glance at Newt rubbing his arm and you pursing your lips and looking the other way.
“Newt’s right.”
You spin around, mouth open, “How did you?—”
Thomas shrugs, “Call it a third sense, but whatever he said about Minho, you should listen.”
You scoff at the two boys, thoughts running around in your head.
You were in love with your best friend, it was plain as day.
But saying that to his face? That was something that would never happen. Minho was your best friend, he was your other half and to tell him how you feel and ruin that… well that’s just selfish of you. He was also your running partner, you spent almost the entire day together and the last thing you need is for him to leave you alone in the maze after some stupid confession.
Point is, there was too much at stake. It was an unnecessary risk that you didn’t want to take.
“I bet she’s thinking about his muscles,” Thomas snickers, playfully nudging Newt’s shoulder.
Newt giggles, “When is she not? Who knows what goes on when they’re inside the maze.”
You roll your eyes, smacking both of them, “Both of you, slim it.”
“Can’t handle the truth, (Y/N)?” Thomas teases, wiggling his eyebrows.
“I’ll make sure to leave you alone in the maze next time.”
Thomas’s eyes widen, “Okay, hey we were joking! Minho’s ugly anyway.”
“The hell?” Another voice breaks in. “I’m hotter than both of you combined.”
Heat flares in your cheeks as you glance at your running partners who stumbled onto your early morning conversation.
Newt pats Minho’s shoulder, offering him a reassuring smile, “yes, yes of course.”
Minho swats his hand away, glaring at him, “Don’t say it like that.”
“Say it like what?” Newt said innocently before disappearing to the gardens.
Thomas holds his hands up in defense, “All jokes,” he coughs, meeting your eyes. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you guys later.”
Thomas turns to leave but not before sending a wink your way. You glare at him, mouthing the words ‘slim it' while drawing a finger across your throat.
A small hand on your shoulder brings you out of your thoughts.
Minho looks at you with his brown eyes, and you’re not sure how to act.
You can’t process anything, and if he’s speaking to you, you don’t hear it. All you can focus on is him, and everything about him. He’s clouding your senses, making it hard to see but you don’t mind.
“Did you hear me?” Minho asked, now placing both hands on his hips.
You blink, nodding, “Yes, loud and clear.”
“Okay,” Minho drawls, “what did I say?”
Damn him, you think.
“Gally sucks toes?”
“Cute, but no, Although I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true,” Minho muses. “I said Fry is finishing up our lunches and then we’re good to go.”
You let out a loud sigh, “Do we have to?” You ask Minho, pouting.
He rolls his eyes, bopping your nose, “you signed up for this.”
“Yeah right,” you snort, “more like you forced me to be here.”
“Forced and extensively encouraged are two different things.”
You cross your arms and raised your eyebrows at the brown-eyed boy, “You know what, I’m pretty sure this is just an excuse to hang out with me.”
“Oh you wish, eight hours in the Maze with you and your whining is enough.”
“If I’m that annoying why not go with Thomas sometime?” You challenge.
Minho’s silent, “He's somehow worse than you.”
You pat Minho on the chest as you walk by to pick up your lunches, “Okay, lover boy.”
“It’s true!” He calls out after you, trying to defend himself.
Was he that obvious? He’s glad your back is turned to him and you can’t see how red his cheeks have gotten.
He shakes his head, breathing in deeply. This wasn’t part of the plan, not that he had a plan.
He planned to run until he found a way out of here, but even that plan didn’t work. At some point, he had given up. He had come to terms with the fact that there was no escape. He’s known that for years. It ate him from the inside out, knowing that everyone counted on him to find a way out and he already knew the answer.
But he couldn’t let the other Glader’s feel like he did, he couldn’t watch them lose hope. He’d spend every day running if it meant they didn’t end up like him, empty and cold.
But then you came along.
And when you arrived, Minho had something worth fighting for. A little blossom of hope in his heart that with you here, he had to find a way out.
And then you became a runner, and Minho took his chance.
He was amazed that you didn’t give up, even when he told you that he’d run the whole thing. You had this spark in your eye, you looked him in the eye and you told him,
“There’s always a way out, we’re just not looking in the right place or the right thing.”
Funny enough, you hadn’t made any progress since then.
Unless you count Minho catching feelings for you, but he wouldn’t consider that progress.
“Hey! Think fast,” You said, tossing Minho his sandwich.
Of course, Minho being in deep thought about you slows his actions and he barely catches his lunch, almost tripping in the process.
You’re stood across from him, smirk adorning your face, “Nice catch.”
“Thanks,” he said, “I’d like to see you do better.”
“I probably could,” You shrug.
Minho scoffs, mumbling something under his breath as you drag him toward the maze. Thomas waves from his spot, wiggling his eyebrows at you as you flip him off.
The door slowly opens and once there’s enough space, the two of you take off.
You and Minho were a bit more cautious now that Ben had been stung in broad daylight, it was something no one had ever seen in the Glade.
It never really crossed your mind that something like that could happen, but now that it did, everyone was a bit more on edge.
It was like you could sense the trouble looming over you, that the worse was yet to come, but no one said anything.
No one wanted to say anything.
You slow your pace, leaning against a wall to take a sip from your water. You make sure to not let Minho too far out of your sight, the last time it happened didn’t end very well.
You debate calling out to him, but you let him go, needing to save your breath. You don’t doubt he’ll notice soon enough. You close your eyes, resting for a bit… just a little while longer.
“(Y/N)!”
You sigh, pushing yourself off the wall as you jog to catch up with Minho.
“Present!” You announce, waving your hands.
He shakes his head, grabbing your hand, “you’re sticking with me.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” You wink, watching as Minho turns away from you, hiding his flushed face.
His hand fits in your like it’s meant to be, but you don’t believe in stuff like that.
You do, however, believe in how you don’t want to let it go. It made you feel safer, it’s a stupid thought but it does.
You trust that when you’re holding onto him, nothing bad will happen, and if it did, he’s there.
Your run is slowed to more of a walk as the sun reaches high noon, beating down on both of you, sweating accumulating on your neck.
You can feel the strain of your run pulling on your muscles, but you’d grown accustomed to the feeling.
Minho turns back to look at you, he’s about to open his mouth but he’s quick to snap it shut.
“Did you hear that?" He asks.
“Hear wh-”
You fall silent when you hear the sounds of clanking followed by low growls.
Minho’s eyes widen as he looks at you, and you look back at him mirroring the same expression.
“We need to get back to the Glade,” Minho said slowly. His eyebrows are furrowed as he listens for the Griever in order to choose the best path of escape. Your instincts tell you the best plan of escape is the east door, but then the maze falls silent.
The quiet is somehow deafening, save for your heart pounding madly in your chest. At any moment, it could strike, it could walk around any corner and kill you both.
You’d never know until it was too late.
Minho squeezes your hand tightly, his back towards your own as you watch all the possible places the griever could come from.
And the lucky winner was where you happened to be looking. The griever comes racing around the corner, it’s screeching filling the air mixing with your own.
“Holy shit!” You scream, feeling Minho tug on your hand and pull you to what was hopefully an exit.
You push yourself to go faster, the last thing you wanted was to be eaten by a griever of all things. You try not to think about how it’s closing in on you, or how you might die here. Instead, you try and focus on your breathing and the way Minho is gripping on tightly to your hand. You will yourself to try and think of anything else but the creature chasing you. This is what you were training for, running.
Running even when you feel out of breath, running even when your legs are begging you to stop, running because it’s the only thing that’ll save you.
It never ends, and it never stops.
Minho takes a sharp left and you follow, looking behind you for the briefest second only to see the griever reaching out for you.
It happens in a flash, you can feel it’s claw pierce your skin, tearing at it as you run. You grit your teeth, seething in pain as you collapse.
Minho turns around to find you, eyes widening as he sees the griever looming above you.
“Go!” You shout, propping yourself against a wall.
Minho shakes his head, standing his ground as he looks from the griever to you.
“Trust me, Minho! Go!”
Minho’s hesitant, he couldn’t leave you, what if you bled out and died on him? What kind of person would he be then? What would he do when he loses the one thing he has left to fight for?
“Please,” You beg, eyes teary.
Minho feels his heart shatter in his chest as he realizes you’re right, he should go.
But not without taking the griever with him.
Minho finds a stray rock on the ground, feeling it in his hand before he chucks it at the creature.
It makes a sound, one then he could never forget as it turns away from you and lunges for him.
Minho looks to you, giving you a curt nod before making a run for it, the griever following him.
You lean your head back against the wall, ignoring the pain in your leg as you let the tears silently flow down your face as you watch him disappear.
Of course, he had to play the hero. You should be grateful, really, but you can’t. How can you be grateful when he was risking his life for one that was already gone?
You’d accepted your fate, you knew you were going to die here and you could face that.
But Minho had to screw it all up and risk himself too, it wasn’t fair. You didn’t know if he would come back to you, or if he did, If you’d still be alive.
Would one of you die before you get to say the words you’ve so desperately wanted to? Was the world this cruel?
Did it take one of you dying for you to finally accept what you already knew? You couldn’t imagine dying before you tell him, but leaving him with that… was that not crueler than any fate he could succumb to?
You use your hand that’s not grabbing your bleeding leg to wipe away your tears. If Minho didn’t come back, if someone didn’t come back, you’d sure be griever food.
Maybe you’d die before having to be ripped apart limb by limb.
The pain in your leg because nothing more than a dull ache as you breathe out slowly. You let your eyes fall shut, hoping to catch up on some much-needed rest while you pray Minho’s returns.
But when he does, it’s a sight he knows he’ll never forget.
His heart sinks in his chest when he sees you, laying in a pool of blood, chest barely rising and falling.
He kneels before you, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face and hold back his sobs.
“(Y/N)? Can you hear me?”
When there’s no reply he begins panicking, tying to (as gently as possible) coax you awake. He grabs your shoulders, shaking you as he begs you to wake up.
Eventually, your eyes flutter open and Minho feels like he can breathe again as he rests his head on your shoulder.
“Oh thank god.”
“You came back?” You ask softly.
He nods, pulling back you, “I’ll always come back.”
You reach out for his hands, which he gives you, squeezing them tightly.
“I love you,” You said, eyes fluttering shut again as you’re stuck with a wave of pain.
“Lying doesn’t suit you, babe,” Minho replies easily, dismissing your three words. This wasn’t the time to think about it, right now, he needed to get you back. “You’re a bit out of it from the amount of blood you lost, can you walk?” He asked, standing up.
You pull him back down, “Minho, I love you.”
He shakes his head, “we need to get you back to the medhut.”
“Minho,” You plead, you couldn’t die without him knowing.
He ignores you and instead, helps you to your feet leaning you against him and slowly being the journey back to the Glade.
You never asked what happened to the griever.
You groan, rolling onto your side as you wipe the sleep from your eyes. You blink when you realize that you were in a wooden hut that was most certainly not the maze, and then you look down at the hand interlocked with yours.
A hand that belonged to none other than your running partner.
When you meet his eyes, he’s already staring at you.
“Hi,” You said.
“Hey,” he breathes out, still taking in two much better you look. He’s still trying to delete the image of you in the maze out of his mind, but it might be something he was to live with.
“how do you feel?”
“Like shit,” you answer, “But it’s okay.”
“How are you?”
“Better.”
A silence hangs in the room, it’s heavy and you know what has to be said to clear it.
“I meant what I said.”
“What?”
You roll your eyes, tugging his hand with yours to your chest. “What I said in the maze, I meant it.”
“You said a lot of things in the maze.”
You stare up at the medhut ceiling, breathing out deeply. “I love you, Minho.”
There’s silence, and then, “Look me in the eye and say it.”
You turn to look at him, meeting his eyes with great ease and seeing the tears pool behind him.
“I love you, Minho. I always have.”
He diverts his gaze away from you, eyes falling to the floor before finally meeting yours again, a smile adorning his face.
“I love you too.”
— END —
🏷 Minho Taglist: @emeliii1 @bwndito @remusflirts
598 notes · View notes
episkykid · 2 years
Text
"Aurelius Dumbledore" is Ariana Dumbledore's Obscurus, not Credence Barebone.
Why I think this is the case:
-While the Fantastic Beasts films have played with continuity, the timelines are too off. We know when both Dumbledore parents died, and it was wildly before Credence's birth. Credence would have to be in his mid-thirties for that to be possible, and he isn't.
-Ariana having an Obscurus fits what we know of Dumbledore's backstory. I think it probably developed (or at least significantly worsened) during the time when Aberforth was gone at school and Albus was being neglectful due to his "greater good" plans with Grindelwald. The new films even highlight that they're a result of a lack of love and care, paired with abuse due to the child's magic. It calls the Obscurus a sibling--like a twin--created to fill that gap. That's very specific language to drop in there.
-Ariana already faced abuse at the hands of the muggles, but when Aberforth was gone and her mother had died and Albus was the only one there--I think this was the first time she was truly without the love and care that she needed. The COG even has a line where Dumbledore mentions how he didn't love Ariana as he should've, when Leta and him speak about her brother.
-It's been foreshadowed through the first two films. We've got the bit of conversation between Grindelwald and Newt, when Newt explains that the Obscurus cannot survive without its host, and Grindelwald makes that remark about it being "useless," and Newt is horrified that someone would look at the situation in terms of use.
-We know that Credence's Obscurus is far more powerful than usual.
-Clearly, Grindelwald had no idea that Credence was the host. He thinks Credence is a squib, initially. I think before obtaining the Obscurus, Credence might've been one, actually. But he knew the Obscurus was somewhere. I think it's because he witnessed it at Ariana's death.
-Since the Obscurus is more powerful than usual, I think it's highly likely that it's been jumping from host to host, feeding on them and avoided detection in America. And I think Grindelwald sees this parasite as a full-blooded Dumbledore. (Or at least, he's acting as such to get its allegiance.)
-It would explain why he calls Credence Albus's brother, even though that's basically physically impossible without a major fracture in the canon lore (which, I admit, they could choose to do). But I think this development makes far more sense and fits within the hints they've dropped and the way we see Grindelwald manipulating people, as well as the themes explored thus far.
-It could make sense that Newt will play a role in "taming" or calming the Obscurus. The films continue to place him before dangerous, raging creatures that he somehow settles. Leta even tells Newt that he's never met a monster he couldn't love. This seems to be pretty blatant foreshadowing, and why Newt's at the center of this series as a protagonist, rather than Dumbledore. Because if Dumbledore was in the agent seat, I think he'd have carried less guilt during the time we see him with Harry. Instead, I imagine he foists or neglects some of that responsibility to Newt--either because he is afraid, or because he can't (due to the blood pact). Maybe both.
-It also casts a more serious light on Dumbledore's neglect of Ariana, as well as Aberforth's continuing grudge about it. It could be used as a story device to drive home the potency of Albus's neglect by manifesting that emotional damage into a physical shape that viewers can see and connect with. It also fleshes out the Dumbledore family's backstory.
-Also, the idea of Ariana's "evil twin" created by Albus's mistakes, coming back to fight him? That seems like a character beat that would fit the tone of these films.
I could be wrong. [Disclaimer: I watched both films for the first time this week.] But I'm pretty confident I'm right. Suppose we'll see.
Bonus theory: I think Tina's largely absent from the Secrets of Dumbledore trailer because she gets partially attacked by the Obscurus and has hints of the particular markings on her face. That would explain why she's not listed as part of the official "team," [if she's fighting off some sort of partial, viral/parasitical/secondary condition from an unsuccessful transfer of host or Obscurus attack, she wouldn't be able to fight as much]. It would add greater stakes to the situation. It would also put Newt's love of creatures and his philosophy of gentleness to the test. If the Obscurus hurt Tina--the person he loves--then wouldn't he have more reason to lash out against it? Just a thought.
I think this complication might also provide some internal tension to Credence, who would remember Tina from her intervention into his life. If Grindelwald's goading to unleash the Obscurus for vengeance caused Credence to hurt Tina, I think that would chip at away at Credence's resolve in Grindelwald's mission.
Either way, I think we're going to see a good deal of expansion to Ariana's lore in particular, and to the Obscurus mechanics, at least.]
Bonus-bonus theory: I think there's a chance that Ariana's Obscurus will turn into a Phoenix after Newt settles it, and we'll get a Fawkes origin story, along with a helping of "redemption/forgiveness from the ashes" theme.
And since Phoenix tears have super magically healing properties, I think it's likely that if Tina is somehow infected, maybe that could be an avenue there.
If the Obscurus does somehow turn into Fawkes, it adds even more significance to the dual wand core situation that happens with Tom Riddle and Harry Potter, since Fawkes is the source of those wand cores. If that's the case, I think we'll see those feathers drop during an emotionally significant moment (potentially close to the end of the series), and that would be right about on time for the moment little Tom gets his wand (1938).
"Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" would also take on an entirely new meaning because Obscuruses and Phoenixes are both powerful creatures, and very much opposites of each other. When you look at the core of what Phoenixes represent (starting over, rebirth from ashes), it's a counter narrative to the themes pertaining to the Obscurus (self-destruction and destruction of others, toxicity, childhood abuse and neglect as hopeless cycles). It also fits the key conflict of values between Grindelwald's rhetoric (justification of harming others because of prior hurts experienced) and the ones Newt embodies (gentleness, compassion, looking to truly see others and appreciating differences).
Some of these theories are far wilder than others. That's just where my thoughts went after seeing the films.
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sepublic · 3 years
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True Colors
           …You know.
           When Sprig mentioned a content warning at the end of the episode, I figured it couldn’t be THAT bad, right? Like whatever happened… Even if someone DIED, it’d be an antagonist. An adult, at least.
           …But…
           Marcy…
           …What the fuck… What THE FUCKING FUCK…?!?!?!?
           Oh fuck it’s like… It’s like Agony of a Witch again… Where I feel like vomiting and I’m shaking and everything but it’s WORSE because… At least Eda… Eda didn’t DIE, there was still a chance she could come back!
           And Marcy… She could come back! Magic… Necromancy, thanks to her meeting with Maddie… But this is…
           THIS IS A KID.
           THIS IS A FUCKING KID.
           AND SHE FUCKING DIED!!!!
           AND NOT JUST ANY FUCKING KID BUT MARCY. MARCY A MAJOR CHARACTER WHOM WE LOVE AND GOT TO SEE HER BACKSTORY, who we saw mess up, but for a REASON, she was going to lose her friends, and now…
           Oh… OHHH MY GOD that’s fucking evil! That’s so damn evil I’m honestly hyperventilating. What the fuck. What the fucking fuck my hands are feeling numb. I thought… I thought we’d get a cut of Andrias being stabbed from behind by Marcy, not…
           Go to hell you fuckward. Go to hell Andrias, I’ll be glad to claw you to death there myself!
           Marcy! Mar-Mar! Oh no… Oh fucking NO, and Andrias… Andrias you son of a bitch, with your whole “I got betrayed by my friends” Oh SHUT UP your friends were right and YOU were the one who was wrong! You’re not Anne you ass, you’re SASHA, and I think having Sasha right in front of you should’ve clued you in on that! Yeah, methinks that Andrias is NOT getting a redemption at all… Because honestly, how do you come back from stabbing a CHILD?!? LETHALLY!!??? If not outright killing her!?
           THEY CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME THEY CAN’T LEAVE IT ON A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT!!!! This is… THE WORST… Cliffhanger I’ve ever dealt with, PERIOD, ever! Not just because it’s an actual death, but also… CHILD death. CHILD murder! I thought the content warning would be about the… About those toads getting Alderaan’d! HOLY SHIT no wonder this got pulled! I mean I’m glad it got released unedited but…
           FUCK YOU ANDRIAS!!!!!
           GOD and his master is right there, beneath the castle, and nobody has a clue?! Are they some sort of AI or superweapon, an all-powerful Frobo designed to head the invasion!? Sasha… Oh, SASHA, you realized, and you began to make up for it, you and Grime… And MARCY, GOD that flashback HURT, how her voice was cracking and she was so DESPERATE, and that line!!! That line of “I GAVE YOU” this! And how I’ve thought about that! She said it! Marcy fucking said it! That surely Anne doesn’t regret meeting the Plantars, is she really saying she wished she’d NEVER met them… That kind of lowkey guilt-tripping but for a reason and it’s a genuine dilemma?!
           And Anne… ANNE, your super saiyan mode! How you thought Sprig died, and for a moment I thought, OH SHIT are they killing off Sprig?! Surely not… SURELY NOT they wouldn’t kill a kid like that, and ON-SCREEN, full shot of the wound and everything!
           …What the fuck.
           Yunnan… And Olivia, those who ship them, you got your content at least! That gag about her being interrupted for the one person who asked, who is of course Hop Pop… It seems she might be against Andrias, but who knows, she might side with him, just so her and Olivia could stay safe!
           And Sasha! SASHA, don’t imagine Sasha watching Marcy die… CRADLING her best friend in her arms! Marcy just wanted to be with her friends, she didn’t want to be ALONE and how she almost cried, I FULLY UNDERSTOOD! And GOD that fucking dread as she realized Andrias was explaining it… And how she just NEEDED SOMEONE to understand, and Andrias, the bastard, took advantage of that! While she confessed over a game of Flipwart YOU FUCKING BASTARD I’LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!!
           Marcy… No, that can’t be it! And Grime and his Toad allies! They NEED to reband and recuperate, will they escape or not!? Beatrix, Aldo, Bufo, HELP!!!
           Anne and the others back home! Polly’s legs… Oh god, imagine the dilemma! We’ll see what happened and… OH FUCK MARCY’S PARENTS ARE GOING TO HEAR SHE DIED BECAUSE OF THEM!!! Anne is going to say Marcy ran, went to Amphibia, and got MURDERED because of them, and god… It’s already one thing for a kid to think they got their child lost, but to have outright confirmation that they contributed to their demise WHAT THE FUCK ANNNNDDDRRRIIIIIAAAASSSS!!!!!
           I’m going to KILL a newt. I’ll never look at giant salamanders the same, EVER again… Holy shit I once joked about him and Belos being feral but Andrias got to KILL a kid, holy fucking shit! Holy fucking GOD shit! Mother fucking… Fuck! We’ll see Anne’s parents, Sasha’s parents… Marcy’s parents, HOLY SHIT they’re gonna instantly go mad with grief. They might genuinely become suicidal from hearing this, I know I would… And god imagine if they did die before they found out Marcy came back, if she ever does!
           …MATT BRALY YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING YOU SMUG LITTLE-
           I JOKED ABOUT IT BEING BAD BUT I DIDN’T THINK… Never would I have THOUGHT… I can’t imagine Disney EVER doing this before, holy fucking shit! I might vomit a bit… I feel sick. I’m sh-shivering, I’m in a cold sweat y’all.
           I gotta… I gotta take a moment you guys.
           I’m… I’m done for now. And why do I feel The Owl House Season 2 is just going to be even worse, or at least AS bad… Or at least, it DEFINITELY WON’T HELP!!! Just like Infinity Train Book 3 when I wanted levity and a protagonist ALSO died! And then another major character, two weeks later! What the FUCK is up with cartoons I like this more mature angle but also HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
           …I feel like Simon Laurent during THAT scene, but this is somehow even worse. And I’m gonna shove Andrias’ flaming sword right up his ass, let him see how it feels, hmm?
           And lastly; FUCK those end credits for rubbing it in my damn face how happy they were.
           …WHO THE FUCK WOULD BE PREPARED FOR THAT?!??!
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lucky-katebishop · 3 years
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I spent a month reading harry potter fanfics and here’s what I learned
So for the past three and a half weeks, I’ve been doing basically nothing but reading Harry Potter fanfics and now I kind of just want to talk about them. No one cares but future me will! I tend to get caught in obsessions fairly easily (for instance, two months ago was comic books and last month was video editing and then k dramas). I’m feeling like my Harry Potter obsession is fading which makes me really sad cause it was a fun ride. I went from Drarry to Hinny, time travel to alternate realities, obscuris Harry to Dark!Harry, MCU AUs to Doctor Who AUs. I must’ve read more than 50 fics.
I’ve learned that I hate Dumbledore
Snape makes for a great mentor but I will only like him with proper character development
also where did Snape being Draco’s godfather come from? I don’t think this was in the books? I’m not angry, just confused
I read a fic that was so sad that I was physically unable to finish reading it -- actually I read two of those, one of them was a DID fic and the other Voldemort adopted Harry
the Voldemort one is quite possibly the most tragic thing I have ever read and even though it’s been two weeks I still haven’t been able to recover -- I was only halfway finished too GOOD LORD
another fic I read that was so fucking depressing was a time loop situation where Harry literally couldn’t get out of and it ended tragically
obscuris Harry is interesting but I really only like the ones where Newt is actually involved but I couldn’t find any finished ones
I don’t like it when Harry’s appearance changes, it throws me for a loop
there was this one where Harry got sent back in time and his figure got disfigured and so he didn’t even appear like himself anymore
I just find it odd for Harry Potter not to look like Harry Potter, idk
I also have a headcanon that his hair is very curly rather than shaggy
I haven’t been able to find a fic where Harry goes back in time to the Marauders era and has the right amount of angst but the right amount of fluff
I’ve read some good ones where the Marauders travel to Harry’s time but like,,, it isn’t quite what I’m looking for? I’m gonna have to write it, aren’t I? 
this doesn’t happen with irondad fics, literally everything you’ve ever wanted you can find it there
I read one where Harry did go back in time but she (fem!Harry) didn’t really interact with her parents or the Marauders that much, she became friends with Regulus instead
Regulus should’ve been in Gryffindor
I’ve not only read fics where Draco has been a Ravenclaw, Slytherin, but also a Gryffindor. I haven’t found one where he’s in Hufflepuff
I’ve read fics where Harry’s in every single house - the Ravenclaw one might be my favorite so far, it had to do with him going to a different timeline where there’s another Harry and he’s a major dick
Hufflepuff Harry one was funny, but it got distressing cause Dumbledore didn’t trust him and tried to get him expelled
actually the Hufflepuff one made my heart hurt cause Harry was put in the body of a Harry who isn’t the boy who lived and barely spoke and was basically like an even more traumatized Neville
Slytherin Harry is everything to me and he should’ve been in Slytherin
Ravenclaw Draco is something that can be so personal
I’m tired of reading Year One fics, I get it, there’s a stone, let’s move on
Year Four fics are my favorite however, there was one (which is my favorite) where Harry’s a necromancer and in the graveyard scene he calls corpses from the graves alive to help him get out of there it was so cool
I am partial to Harry/Draco but Harry/Luna is cute
there was a Pokemon Harry/Luna one that’s adorable and I’ve read it twice already
I like when there’s a ton of lore involved
especially Hogwarts lessons - like ancient runes can fucking get it, I love runes fics
there was an MCU AU one where I read Harry didn’t have his magic anymore, not as potent as it was, but he did have ancient runes
LISTEN I tried to get into Dark!Harry but after that Voldemort adoption one I can’t do it anymore, I will start crying literally right now -- he just wants to be fucking useful! He just wants to be loved! Is that too much to fucking ask for? 
however Harry doing dark!magic but isn’t actually on the dark side is cool
Death Eater Spy Draco! It makes me distressed but also I am so here for it!
Jenkins if you’re out there I love you (if you get this reference I love you)
I read a ton of Avengers adopt Harry when he’s younger but I don’t care for younger Harry fics, I prefer when he’s a teenager and I don’t have to read the first few years at Hogwarts, it can get repetitive
Give me all the angst with Harry being a horcrux please, I’m living for the drama
Lily is not a fan favorite weirdly enough, when the Marauders are in fics she’s usually not there which is unfortunate because I just really want a good Harry/Lily bonding moment
one of the saddest fics I read was where harry, luna, hermione and neville find themselves in an alternate dimension where Lily and Remus are married and alive, James is a dick but has other kids, and every single person that had died in their world is alive
I don’t like it when there’s Ron bashing, he’s one of my favorites, but if I have to, I’ll read some of them
there was this Sherlock fic (listen, I went in fucking deep, it’s been a weird month) where fem!Harry is on the run from the Ministry because I don’t actually understand and Ron and everyone is out for blood for her
Eleventh Doctor/Harry is a pairing I was not aware of but I actually kind of love?
Master of Death Harry is fucking OP and I love him for that
mcu aus is something I never knew I needed
Holly Potter and the Midlife Crisis is fucking everything
So is On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads, I realized it was the same author when I read in the author notes that the author was going to some volcano convention thing and I was like this is way too niche for it to be a coincidence
I’ve read Tony is Harry’s dad, Loki is Harry’s dad, Harry is just weird friends with Thor, ones where Natasha is Harry’s aunt
listen everyone is related to this boy
I will not read a fic if it doesn’t involve Harry, he’s my boy, he’s my love, I care only about him and him only I’m so sorry
you know that meme where people say nobody’s favorite character is harry potter, the titular character? Well meet me! He’s my favorite!
in battle of hogwarts fics, Remus almost always dies. Why is that? Why do you guys hate him so much? It’s always half and half for Fred, I never know if he’s going to live or not
In all of the good fics I’ve read I saw in the collections area of ao3 the same collection and I was like! You get me! 
if it says Gammily’s Bookshelf on the fic, it’s gonna be a really fucking great fic let me just tell you that right now
Parseltongue gets me so riled up, I fucking love Parseltongue, it’s so cool
there’s a reason I usually filter out non/c*n but I decided to let it flow and I ran into a few that fucking d e s t r o y e d me why do you guys read shit like this, it broke my heart
that being said I read one that was really nuanced and actually really good but it’ll never be finished and I’m very mad about that
Either we have a better understanding of how goblins could be utilized  than JKR or we’re just ignorant of how powerful they can be
weird coincidence that I’ve read two completely different fics where Harry thought having a threesome meant kissing three different people
Dumbledore’s a bitch and I hate him, every fic I’ve read so far agrees with me
there is a person out there that is CARRYING the bucky barnes/harry potter pairing on their back and I hope whoever that is knows how much I appreciate them
remind me never to click on a fic that hasn’t been updated since 2015 ever again, C’est La Vie I will miss you so
this is just a fucking quarter of the harry potter fics I’ve read but thanks for reading if you did, let me know if you want to know some of the titles
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12tardis · 4 years
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That's My Jumper (Newt Scamander x Reader)
Warnings: s m u t under the cut
Requested: yes! Lovely anon asked for a part 2 to That’s My Shirt with some s m u t but not too explicit with lots of fluff. I REALLY hope this is okay! Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader
Summary: The Part 2 to That’s My Shirt. You know Newt has a thing for you in his clothes so you decide to pull out the big guns. Enter Theseus who rudely interrupts you two, making a very cranky impatient Newt and unbeknownst to you Theseus sends Newt some inspiration in the form of a book. What happens when you find said book? Lots of flustered and shy Newt in the lead up
A/N: this is my first time writing s m u t so I’m scared and will probably hide away for a bit after this. I hope I haven’t tarnished Newt’s sweet image for anyone BUT CAN I JUST SAY- I reckon. Newt would ABSOLUTELY be a complete Hufflepuff in the bedroom: HARD-working , dedicated and patient. he would absolutely make you fall apart and then put you back together with so many tender cuddles and kisses you would just 💕 *chef kiss* Seriously though I’m S.C.A.R.E.D
Words: a whopping 5,522 (I’m tellin ya Newt doesn’t rush. But also the first like 3000 are fluff)
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 It had been a couple of weeks since you’d discovered Newt’s fixation with you in his clothing. You’d learnt of this particular turn on of his when you’d worn one of his shirts to work and had come home to find a rather handsy riled up boyfriend.
 There had been a couple more heated make out sessions since then and a few lingering touches here and there but for the most part, everything remained the same despite your many attempts to engage Newt in some private time.
 To be completely fair though you had both been incredibly busy for the past few weeks. You were working extra hours in the shop to cover for an absent co-worker and Newt had been running himself ragged, tending to some rather high maintenance baby Niffler’s.
 Today finally marked a weekend that the two of you had nothing marked into your schedules, of course Newt still needed to tend to his creatures but at least you could help him. You woke to find that Newt had already risen before you and he was presumably in his case so you rolled out of bed, smiling to yourself when you spotted his favourite jumper discarded on his dresser.
 Newt walked into the kitchen where he could hear you tinkering around not long after, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head when he saw you. You were wearing one of his sweaters and nothing else. He swallowed thickly and stood frozen on the spot as he took in the way the soft knit just barely skimmed to your mid-thigh and you had rolled the sleeves up a dozen times so you could fix breakfast.
 You had let the jumper fall to one side, exposing one of your shoulders completely. “Merlin, help me,” he whispered to himself. You looked like absolute sin and he felt a hot flush spreading as his own shirt felt suddenly too tight around his neck.
 It was the way that you shimmied your hips along to the music you had playing that was the final straw for Newt. And he found himself crossing the kitchen in a few strides, gripping your hips from behind and pressing a series of kisses to your shoulder.
 You yelped in surprise, dropping your wand onto the counter as your hands flew up “Newt! You can’t sneak up on me like that!” you gasped but you leant back into him with a small hum of approval at the new found attention he was lavishing on you.
  Newt kissed his way up from your shoulder, along your neck and to your jaw “couldn’t help it,” he murmured into your ear before he spun you around in his arms, gripping your waist this time as he pressed his lips to yours in a heated kiss.
 You sighed against his lips softly as your hands found their way to his hair and you gave an experimental tug oh his auburn locks, shivering at the deep groan he emitted in response.
 “Newt!”, you gasped when he suddenly lifted you by the backs of your thighs, hoisting you up onto the kitchen counter and moving to stand between your legs before attacking your exposed neck and shoulder with open mouthed kisses, “you’re. wearing. my. jumper”, he grit out lowly between kisses before he grazed his teeth against one particularly sensitive spot on your neck.
 You couldn’t hold back your moan when you felt Newt nipping at your skin, tipping your head back against the kitchen cabinet behind you to give him better access to your neck. “Goodness, Newt”, you whimpered, knowing he was definitely leaving marks behind in his wake.
 Newt paused in his actions, looking up at you quickly when he heard your remark, his thumb rubbing in small circles on your waist “is this okay my angel?” he breathed, looking at you with big eyes.
 You took in the concern in his eyes, feeling nothing but love for the man in front of you seeing him go from needy and commanding to gentle and caring in a matter of seconds. It only fuelled your desire to know that he cared for your wellbeing and comfort so much. “Yes”, you managed to whisper before you tugged him forward by his suspenders, your lips crashing to his messily.
 Newt groaned into the kiss when you pried his lips open with your own and delved your tongue into his mouth. Before you knew it he had worked a hand underneath the fabric of the jumper and was caressing the soft skin of your back as his other hand fell to your knee. You whimpered quietly and arched into his touches, jerking back from the kiss when you heard the doorbell ring.
 “No no no just ignore it,” he breathed out, pressing his lips back to the marks on your neck that he’d just made and you melted back into his arms before the doorbell rang again. You pushed him back firmly with your hands on his chest, ignoring the whine of frustration he let out and twisting out of his arms “I need pants”, you giggled, racing from the room.
 Newt tried to catch you but you were too fast so he huffed to himself, stomping to the front door ready to give the intruder a piece of his mind for rudely interrupting. He flung the door open, running his mouth before he even stopped to think.
 “Theseus, what do you want?”
 Theseus raised his eyebrows as he looked back at his younger brother, taking a few moments to stare back at him dumbly because - did Newt really just use a rude tone with him? “Uh...yeah good to see you too, little brother”, Theseus murmured slowly.
 Newt scratched at the back of his neck and looked back at Theseus’ awkwardly when he realised how blunt he’d just been “sorry...I was just...a little preoccupied” he murmured, scrounging for his words as he stepped aside “do come in.”
 Theseus frowned at Newt’s cagey behaviour, taking in his dishevelled appearance, noticing his crinkled shirt and his hair that was tousled more than usual. He had at least a dozen questions but they all died on his lips when he spotted you wandering into the room, waving happily at him.
 Suddenly everything clicked into place as his eyes honed in on the obvious love bites decorating your neck. Your hair was tousled too and was that Newt’s jumper you were wearing?
 “Ohhhhhhhhh I seeeeee,” Theseus crooned, looking back at his brother with a wide grin and wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously.
Newt immediately went rigid, standing a little taller because he knew that tone was never a good one. “What? What do you see?” he sighed, his patience once again wearing thin.
 “I’m interrupting your INTIMATE time”, Theseus whispered with a shit eating grin when Newt flushed darkly and began to shake his head violently “no I- we haven’t...you have the wrong idea!” he sputtered and Theseus raised an eyebrow in response “what? You haven’t?” he said with a scandalised expression.
 Newt huffed in embarrassment, only growing more flustered “Theseus, shut up or I swear I will hex y-“, he immediately shut his mouth when you sauntered over to them obliviously, hugging Theseus warmly in greeting before you curled your arm around Newt’s waist. “Theseus! I’m so happy to see you. I was just starting to prepare breakfast, won’t you join us?”
 And Theseus looked back at you with a bright smile, nodding quickly as he shrugged his coat off “Yes, I think I will.” he said before he tossed the coat at Newt, chuckling quietly at the scowl he sent back at him. “I hope I’m not intruding on you two lovebirds”, he added with a wink in Newt’s direction.
                                 *     *     *     *     *     *
Newt legged it to the bedroom when he heard your loud shriek a few hours later, looking at you frantically and letting out a deep breath when he saw you standing in front of the mirror.
 “NEWT you didn’t tell me I had all these hickeys on display all through breakfast!” you cried, tracing your fingertips over the marks.
 Newt let out a sigh, smiling crookedly as he wound his arms around you from behind again, hooking his chin over your shoulder and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve seen Theseus littered with them plenty of times before?” he offered in a lame attempt to quell your embarrassment.
 “Gee thanks that’s makes it all better, Newt”, you scoffed as you rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stay angry long when he was looking back at you with his puppy dog eyes. “You’re going to be the death of me Newton Scamander,” you sighed with a fond smile, turning around in his arms and tucking your face into his neck. 
 And then it was Newt’s turn to be humiliated the next day when Theseus’ owl dropped a parcel for him and he opened it to find a rather well known erotic novel. Newt gasped and quickly tucked it away, double checking he was alone before he peeked into the cover seeing his brother had inscribed it to him.
 Newt,
 This book basically taught me everything I know. Use it wisely.
And you’re welcome.
 -T.S
 Newt stared at the inscription for a few minutes, peeking over his shoulder before he curiously flicked through the book, his cheeks turning beet red and his eyes widening. “Merlin, no” he breathed, quickly stashing the book away thanking the stars that you were at work.                                   *     *    *     *     *     *
A few days later you wandered into Newt’s study where he was hunched over scribbling away in his journal. It was obvious he’d been working hard all day. “Honey, did you remember to eat today?”, you sighed, coming up behind him and gently running your fingers through his hair as you curled your other arm around his shoulders. You already knew the answer because you could see he hadn’t touched any of the food in the pantry or the fridge.
 Newt smiled immediately when he heard you, leaning back into your arms and peering up at you “oh I’m sorry, love. I didn’t even hear you get in,” he said, quickly getting to his feet, taking your hands into his own and smiling apologetically at you “I got a little carried away writing. How was your day?” He gently cupped your cheek in his palm before he made to move towards the kitchen “let me fix you some tea.”
 “Get back here”, you laughed as you caught him by the back of his shirt, tugging him back towards you where you spun him around to face you and curled both of your arms around his neck “where’s my kisses?” you pouted slightly up at him.
 Newt let out a noise of surprise when you hoisted him back, looking down at you with an adoring smile at your expression “oh how rude of me”, he grinned, leaning down to capture your lips in a gentle and tender kiss, his hands framing your waist.
 You let out a happy hum against his lips, breaking apart from him for air eventually and pressing a few kisses down the line of his jaw as you took his hands again. You tipped your head aside when you felt his lips brushing against the fading marks on your neck “Wait what is that?”
 You reached behind him, plucking the book Theseus had sent from the bookcase “goodness when did you get this?” and Newt felt his stomach drop and he blushed a deep pink “it’s not mine!” He barked, snatching the book from you quickly “Theseus sent it- I didn’t ask him to! He said- well he said it was a good place for me to learn. I swear to you I-I didn’t buy it!” He stammered, looking back at you desperately as he opened the book to show you Theseus’ handwriting.
 “Newt honey relax. Breathe!”, you cut in when you saw how worked up he was getting, cupping his face firmly in your hands and looking him in the eyes “My love I’m not upset. I believe you, it seems exactly the sort of thing your brother would do,” you said rolling your eyes fondly.
 “But even if you did buy it yourself I wouldn’t be angry.”
 Newt looked back at you with wide eyes, feeling a flood of relief to know you weren’t upset with him “you’re not angry?” He repeated, looking at you still somewhat anxiously and you couldn’t help but smile at how adorably flustered he was “no of course not. I know we’re learning a lot of new things together and I want you to be comfortable so if reading this“, you took the book from his hand and held up up between you both “helps you feel confident then I’m completely on board.”
 Newt bit his lip when you pried the book from his grasp, shaking his head and taking it back from you “even so, it’s not mine and I’m not taking any advice from my brother,” he turned around to shove the book into his desk drawer but he realised his mistake when you spotted the other book he had stashed away there. The book he actually had been studying.
 You snatched the book up, your mouth dropping open when you realised it was a muggle book on human arousal and anatomy and now it was your turn to grow flustered. “W-What’s this one?”, you squeaked out.
 Newt quickly took the book and set it down on his desk, taking your hands in his own as yet another blush flooded his cheeks “well, when Theseus did send me that book I couldn’t help but think doing a little research- some proper research wouldn’t hurt” he explained slowly, watching you closely and noting the way your eyes had darkened ever so slightly.
 “I wanted to know how to make you feel good, to know how to make you comfortable and to make sure you enjoy our time together. So I got this from a muggle store a few days ago,” he murmured, looking back at you shyly now because you were staring at him with a new intensity.
 You bit down on your lip hard as you grappled with the fact that your sweet, caring and innocent boyfriend had gone out of his way to buy such a book. In a public setting at that! And all for your benefit. You couldn’t deny the heat that was growing in your stomach, imagining Newt studying the book while you were at work.
“Did you...have you read a lot?”, you asked eventually.
 And Newt smiled sheepishly back at you, nodding slowly as he scratched at the back of his neck, willing the ground to swallow him whole now. “Y/N it’s not...I love you. And I love our time together, and I only ever want you to be comfortable. And if we’re never ready to take anything further then that’s completely fine with me. I can die happy just getting to spend my days with you,” he said honestly, beginning to ramble on nervously again.
 “I just-I thought perhaps over the past few weeks that we were headed in that direction. I’m so sorry if I had the wrong idea. I would never ever push you to do anything you didn’t want to do I w-“
 You cut him off with a gentle kiss, gripping him by his shirt collar and pulling back with coy smile “Relax, my love,” you murmured, tangling your fingers in his hair and scratching at his scalp like you knew always calmed him down “we are most definitely headed in that direction.”
                         *     *     *     *     *     *
You could tell Newt was reluctant to touch you or kiss you anything beyond short and sweet over the next few days, obviously still nervous he had overstepped his boundaries. You weren’t sure how many different ways you could tell him you weren’t upset with him.
 You had been trying coax him along, attempting to deepen your kisses each time he would actually touch you but you were left increasingly frustrated when he would pull away from you, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple before he would retreat into his case. You were going to have to persuade him another way.
 Newt was sat in his study, reading over his notes but his mind was fixated on you. He felt guilty because it was the weekend and he should have been spending quality time with you but he was too ashamed to even be around you after that episode a few days ago. He loved and cherished you more than you could ever know and he was angry with himself thinking he may have lead you to feel uncomfortable.
 Of course all he had to do was actually listen to a word you had said to him, but he was too busy being caught up in his own mind like he always was when it came to you. He had just built the resolve to go and talk to you and apologise properly as he pushed back from his desk and turned to the door. But his mind went completely blank when he saw you.
 You’d been standing in the doorway behind him for some time now, wearing his shirt. The same shirt that had started this whole thing all those weeks ago but this time you wore the shirt with nothing else but your lingerie. You were fidgeting with the cuffs self-consciously as you debated running away and ditching your plan altogether but when you saw the ravenous expression on Newt’s face you felt your confidence build.
 “Y/N”, he choked out as you slowly sauntered over to him and he was gaping at you, not quite knowing where to look as he took you in. His palms were itching to touch you as he took in the way the hem of the shirt grazed the top of your thighs and he felt his mouth run dry as his eyes trailed down from your face to your chest, seeing how you’d left most of the buttons undone, allowing him to see the most tantalising strip of skin. He was definitely sweating now.
 His reactions only spurred you on and you gripped his shoulders as you slowly straddled him on his chair, sucking in a breath when you noticed how dark his eyes had turned.
“Y/N...Merlin my darling you look absolutely incredible. Are you trying to kill me?” he breathed, his hands coming to rest on your hips and you realised he was obviously trying not to stare at your body and holding himself back from touching you like he really wanted to. That wouldn’t do.
  You took his hands in your own, pushing down your own nerves as you pressed your lips to his in a heated kiss, guiding his hands up to your breasts. Newt groaned against your lips, cupping your breasts firmly in his large hands, a shiver running down his spine when you moaned in response and arched into him.
 Newt was quick to take the opportunity to delve his tongue into your mouth, his tongue brushing with yours. And when you broke apart from him for air he tucked his face to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses along your skin, nipping at your flesh before he soothed his tongue over the same spot. “Newt”, you gasped out, gripping his shoulders tightly.
 Newt closed his eyes tightly as he skimmed one hand down to rest on your thigh, his fingertips teasing at your inner thigh “tell me what you want, Y/N” he murmured eventually, his voice deep and rumbling in his chest only causing you to feel even more worked up. “I need to hear your words, angel” he said right into your ear when you still didn’t answer him.
 You gripped his shoulders tightly as you let out a quiet whimper at his tone. Your heart was racing wildly in your chest as you felt simultaneously shy and turned on all at once. You forced yourself to look at him despite how shy you suddenly felt “I want you...to show me what you learnt from that book”, you said, rocking your hips down against his experimentally and biting back a moan when you felt his tell-tale hardness against you through his pants.
 Newt gritted his teeth from the pleasure that rippled through him, gripping your hips firmly in his hands to still you. He didn’t allow himself to get carried away just yet as he fixed you with a serious expression. “Darling girl, are you sure? You know your comfort is all that matters to me. I will wait my whole life if I need to”, he murmured, pushing his arousal aside for the time being to make sure you were entirely confident in your decision.
 “I’m sure Newt. I’ve been sure all week but you would barely look at me,” you sighed, moving to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead to his “I love you and I know I’m always safe in your hands. If you’re comfortable, I want you to show me all the new things you’ve learnt.”
 Newt nodded and cupped your cheek gently, looking back at you “I love you. So very much.”, he whispered before he stood up, hoisting you up in his arms by the backs of your thighs in one fluid motion, the mood immediately shifting back to one of passion and lust.
 He carried you through the flat easily, shoving the bedroom door open and then laying you down on the bed, wasting no time in lowering himself over you, pinning you down and looking at you with the same ravenous expression from earlier “you have no idea how utterly sinful you look right now”, he breathed out as he slowly skimmed his hands down your waist to your thighs again.
 He captured your lips in a deep kiss, rolling his hips down against yours with a low groan as he gripped the hem of your shirt, breaking the kiss to look up at you in question “angel, do you want to keep this on?” he practically purred out, nipping at your earlobe as he tugged at the fabric of the hem teasingly.
 You gasped when you felt his teeth against you, your hips bucking up on their own accord, drawing another groan from him “k-keep it on. But...but keep going” you stuttered, parting your legs for him as you felt the heat building between them.
 Newt nodded and began to trail kisses down your neck and down the valley of your breasts, stopping occasionally as he muttered sweet words at you “so gorgeous for me...so beautiful and stunning. Can you feel what you do to me?” he murmured, rocking his hips against yours, grinding his hard bulge against your mound, relishing the noises of pleasure you made in response.
 You had to admit you were taken aback by how vocal and chatty he was being but you couldn’t get enough of it, knowing you could work yourself up into a frenzy just listening to him talk. He was busy peppering your bra clad cleavage with kisses as he slowly trailed a hand up under the hem of the shirt, his fingertips barely brushing the edge of your panties before he paused to peer up at you again “May I?”
 Your lips parted with a small gasp as you felt his hand slip between your legs and you nodded quickly, looking down at him desperately when he didn’t move his hand any further “angel, I need to hear you”, he repeated his sentiment from earlier but this time much firmer, causing you to bite your lip and whimper quietly.
 “Yes Newt, please touch me,” you felt your cheeks warm at your wanton tone but Newt simply pressed another set of kisses down your throat as he cupped your warm mound over your panties in one swift movement, his cock jerking in his slacks at the wetness he felt on his palm.
 You let out another gasp as you arched your hips up into his touch, tugging him up by his shirt and kissing him deeply. Newt felt like a man possessed with every beautiful noise you let out and he kissed you back eagerly as he began to rub over your mound slowly but firmly, his fingertips teasing at the edge of your panties with each pass.
 He paused again when his fingertips found their way into the top band of your panties and you nodded wildly before he could question you again “Yes Newt please!”, your pleading turning into a breathy moan when he slipped his hand into your panties quickly, rubbing his fingers over your wet slit as he sucked at the sensitive skin of your neck.
 His hand delved lower between your thighs until his long pointer finger was running over your entrance and he used his thumb to rub at the small nub between your folds experimentally, pleased with himself when you cried out and jerked against him in pleasure “Merlin, Newt! Do that again”
 He hummed against your shoulder in concentration as he worked on repeating the same motion, rubbing you clit in small circles while focusing on each and every sound you were making, making a mental note of what you enjoyed.
 “You’re so beautiful my angel”, Newt murmured, looking up at you and trying to commit your expression of pleasure to his memory. He was truly a man possessed now as he dedicated himself to drawing those incredible sounds from you, skimming his other hand up and down your body slowly, noting every single area of sensitive skin that had you gasping or arching into his touch.
 “Do you want my mouth on you, darling?”
 You looked back at him with big eyes, swallowing thickly “I don’t...know what you mean”
 Newt smiled against your shoulder, propping himself up on his elbows to gaze down at you “I’ll show you but remember. You’re in control here my love”, he murmured seriously, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips “you’re the one in control here. Anything you don’t like, or even not sure about- you tell me and I’ll stop okay?”
 He waited for your affirmation before he began to trail kisses down your body, looking up at you when his face was finally nestled between your legs and he held your gaze as he pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh causing you to shiver, your hands bunching into the sheets below you in anticipation.
 Newt kissed over your thighs, sucking a few little marks to your soft skin as he hooked his fingers in the waist band of your panties, slowly peeling them down and off of you, letting out a breath at the sight of your wet slit. “Y/N, you are perfect”, he whispered, reaching up to take one of your hands, threading his fingers with yours as he slowly lowered his mouth to your pulsing mound, licking a broad stripe up your centre and closing his eyes when you bucked your hips in response.
 “NEWT!”, you were panting now as you gripped his hand in your own, your other hand flying to weave into his hair on its own accord and you cried out when he hummed against you in response.
 He used his tongue to stimulate your throbbing clit as he slowly sunk a finger inside you, his mouth dropping open at the feeling of your velvet walls accommodating him, your muscles clamping down on his one digit. “Y/N,” he whispered, grinding his own hips into the bed while you threw your head back in pleasure, feeling completely overwhelmed from the pleasure your boyfriend was bringing you.
 “Baby, tell me how that feels?” he looked up at you as he crooked the finger inside of you, taking in the way you gasped and whined when he rubbed over a particular spot inside you. You were too far gone in your pleasure to string a coherent sentence together so he relied on your little gasps and moans to make sure you were enjoying what he was doing.
 He carefully worked a second finger inside you, completely entranced watching you accommodate the extra intrusion. And once both fingers were buried inside you he sealed his lips around your clit, sucking and then groaning loudly against you when you tugged on his hair in response, rolling your hips up against him
 “Newt, oh my stars Newt!”
 He continued to work thrust his fingers inside of you, making sure to pass over that spot on each stroke and when he thought you were close to your release he moved back up your body. He tucked his face of your shoulder, pressing kiss after kiss to your delicate skin, holding you close against him as he worked his fingers even faster and deeper inside of you, his thumb rubbing at your clit in tight circles.
 “Let go for me, angel. Let yourself go”, he murmured lowly into your ear, watching you in rapt concentration as you tensed up not a moment later, crying out loudly as you clenched around his fingers rhythmically. “That’s it, darling girl. Just like that.”
 Newt skimmed his lips over your love bites as he rubbed you through your release, carefully working his fingers free and holding you close, his hands soothing over your back as you worked through the aftershocks.
 He pressed kiss after kiss to your head, once again murmuring sweet nothings to you and you melted in his arms, your body going completely lax.
 “Oh, darling you don’t have to”, he murmured, gripping your wrist when you worked your hand down his body.
 “But I want to Newt, I wanna make you feel good too,” you said honestly as you continued to trail your hand down to the button of his pants.
 Newt shook his head, taking your hand and lifting it to his mouth to brush his lips over it “this was about you, angel,” he murmured, smiling sheepishly at you a moment later “besides I already...uh...”, he trailed off with a blush, cringing slightly at the sticky sensation he now noticed in his pants.
 “You...oh!”, you breathed with wide eyes when you finally understood what he’d meant, pressing your lips to his in a soft and reassuring kiss, a little flattered by the notion anyway. “Well, I’d like to read that book of yours. So I can know how to make you feel good.”
 Newt blushed even more at the images that he conjured up then, pressing another series of gentle kisses to your jaw “I somehow think you won’t be needing it,” he smiled, holding his hands up at the look you shot him in response “okay okay if it will make you happy then of course! I’m just saying you always make me feel good anyway,” he murmured as he slowly sat up to go and clean himself up.
 You sat up with him, cupping his cheek in your palm as you looked back at him lovingly “that was incredible. You were incredible. I’ve never felt so much...so good before,” and you smiled adoringly when he smiled widely back at you in pride, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips “I love you”, he murmured as he got up to his feet and headed for the bathroom.
 You watched him wander off, laying back on the bed with a blissed out smile “you should you know?” you called out after him.
 And Newt glanced back over his shoulder at you in confusion before he stepped into the en-suite “should what?”
 “You should thank your brother!”, you shouted to him, giggling at the noise of shock he let out in response.
 “I will do no such thing! He is to know nothing about any of this. Ever”, he muttered and he was back your side on a flash, clambering back into the bed and wrapping his arms around you, tugging the blankets up around you both before he relaxed.
 “He is the one that got you this shirt though”, you teased after a moment, giggling again at the dark expression that crossed Newt’s face.
 “Y/N! I don’t want to hear you mention my brother again in our bed.” he huffed out, scowling at you when you continued to laugh.
 “You’re just so cute when you’re jealous”, you cooed, skimming your fingertips through his hair soothingly.
 “I’m NOT jealous. I’m just territorial.” he said simply as he skimmed his thumb over some of the marks he’d made on your neck. And he smiled when it was your turn to grow flustered.
 “I mean that in the sense that you are my pride and my heart- not an item to be owned,” he murmured and you looked back at him, shaking your head as your felt your heart somehow fill with even more love for this man that never seemed to stop taking your breath away. PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS! 
 -MASTERLIST HERE- 
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thetypedwriter · 3 years
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Cold Iron Heart Book Review
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Cold Iron Heart by Melissa Marr Book Review 
I don’t think many people are aware or have read the Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr, but that’s alright. I originally started this book blog as I had so many thoughts and feelings about the books I was reading and yet no one to share them with. 
So I might be talking to me, myself and I in this book review, but at the end of the day, it’s still a way for me to express how I feel about the literature I’m consuming even if no one else is reading this. 
Wicked Lovely is one of my favorite series from when I was young. I still remember very clearly how my love story with these books started as it was odd and coincidental. I was at the grocery store with my mom and a promised “quick” trip quickly turned into an hour-long shopping spree as my mother was prone to do. 
Back then I was in middle school, had no cell phone, and was bored out of my mind. So what is any pre-teen to do? I went over to the small, sad book selection in the grocery story and picked up the novel with the most interesting cover. 
This book was Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr. 
I read it the rest of the day and finished it that night, consuming page after page. I was completely transfixed. It was dark, gritty, violent, sexy-all things that my twelve-year old self found entirely fascinating. 
It was a fantasy book about fairies, but these fairies were deadly, life-sized, cruel, violent, beautiful and loving. 
I’ve been enamored with fairies and fairy lore ever since. All because of this book and the series that followed. It hooked me in ways that I still don’t fully comprehend, but I understood then that I hadn’t read anything like it before and I was drawn into Melissa Marr’s world and never quite left it, even all these years later. I’ve gone back and re-read Wicked Lovely multiple times and each time I still found it enjoyable and alluring. 
Cold Iron Heart is a different beast. 
A few days ago, my best friend (who is a journalist) sent me an email saying that local Arizona author, Melissa Marr, was releasing a new book and that she might have the opportunity to interview her. 
I was ecstatic, of course, and not so subtly tried to persuade my friend to let me silently snoop in on the interview (I didn’t, by the way). 
It was then that I realized I hadn’t checked in on Melissa Marr for some time-what had she been writing? Imagine my surprise that one of my favorite series of all time not only had a new book-a prequel no less, but also several new short stories. 
I was flabbergasted. And beyond excited. 
So I ordered the book immediately and read it the moment it arrived on my doorstep to eventually find myself with...mixed feelings with a negative tinge. Okay, more than a tinge, more like a cascading waterfall of negative feelings. 
First off, the book is a prequel. 
Now. Melissa Marr could have done so many cool things with this. There are so many interesting characters that I would have loved to see more in depth or delve into their histories. 
Like Miach and Beira, for example. I’ve heard about the late Summer King since book 1, but never got to read about him as he was dead before the series began. However, his legendary love with Beira, the Winter Queen, would have been so incredibly bewitching to read about it, especially if it involved the birth of Keenan. 
This would have been an awesome choice. 
Irial and Niall would have been another incredible one, probably the best one. We’ve been told over and over again throughout the series that these two hot-heads with a past used to run the Dark Court together, wreaking havoc, taking lovers, seeking new heights, etc. 
But do we get to see this transfixing time? Nope. 
I would even have settled for a story about the Hunt, Sorcha and Bannanach, literally any character done in the right way. 
But...no. Melissa Marr decides to write a prequel that is literally a carbon copy of the first book Wicked Lovely, but innumerably worse. 
Everything in the prequel is exactly the same as the original novels. Miach is dead, Keenan is looking for his Summer Queen, the Winter Girl is pissed off for not being the chosen love of Keenan’s, Irial is temptation in the flesh, Niall and Irial are at odds, Bananach is causing discord, Sorcha is isolated and frigid, the list goes on and on. 
Nothing of consequence, novelty, or importance happens in this book. 
Frankly, it just felt like a terrible redo of the first novel, just set 100 years back. 
I didn’t give a single flying crap about Thelma or Tam or whatever her name was. She was a worse version of Leslie, of Aislinn, of every other cool female character we eventually get to read about in the main series. 
Thelma was contradictory in the worst of ways. She said one thing, like she would rely on no man and never have children and then turned around and did every single one of them like some sort of hypocrite galore. 
She was so irritating and boring to read about that I tended to skim her parts because it was just paragraph after paragraph of bitching and moaning about the same goddamn things over and over again: stay away from fairies, oh god this fairy likes me, no sex, no children, no love and then bam! She just throws it all away. 
Urgh. 
The worst part too is that this isn’t a well written book. It’s repetitive, quite boring at times, and caters way too much to the reader. 
Something I loved about the first Wicked Lovely is that Melissa Marr kinda just tosses you into her world and calls it a day. She doesn’t hold your hand or over explain. She just describes and lets you glean for yourself. 
I loved this aspect of the original series. I liked learning about her world and the characters this way. 
Cold Iron Heart spits on the idea of this concept. Marr repeats herself so much about the same things, who Irial is, what fairies are, why this is happening, that I grew increasingly irritated as the book went on. 
Who on earth is she explaining this for? New readers? Why in the world would any new reader start with this book? The newest one that comes after six others???? It makes no goddamn sense. 
So not only did I feel patronized and aggravated, but the love story between Thelma and Irial grated on me as there was no basis for their love. 
It was ridiculous with no shred of authenticity and I hated it, especially knowing that he already loves Niall and Leslie only to come back and say, “wait a moment! I had another true love that I’ve never mentioned before. Yeah. Her name was Thelma. Or Tam. Or whatever, I don’t know. I knew her for three days, most of which was just sex, and then I lost her after she had my baby but I conveniently forgot about it because of nonsensical plot! Hahahah, good right?”
No. Not good. Horrible. 
Overall, this book is a waste of time and trees. 
I don’t know why Melissa Marr even wrote and published this. I can see her writing this for herself because why not, but as a fan and a reader this was beyond disappointing. 
It’s like how all Harry Potter fans felt when J.K. Rowling wrote The Cursed Child and we got movies about Newt Scamander when we literally wanted anything else-Marauder series anyone??
It’s a particular kind of egregious offense when a favorite series or author of yours ends up ruining the canon you’re in love with. For that reason alone, I am stripping Cold Iron Heart from my heart and mind, like it never existed. 
Just like I did with Cursed Child, or the fact that you-know-who dies in Death Note (if you know, you know). I just...don’t believe it. It ruined all the lovely things Marr had previously written and the stories that defined so much of my love for YA, for fantasy, and for my own writing as a whole. 
I know for a lot of you this was a bumbling mess of a review with little to no clarity of the plot or who these characters are. Frankly, I’d be surprised if you are still reading if you didn’t know the book or the series in the first place, but that’s alright. 
Like I said at the beginning, this is a way to get my intense feelings and thoughts down onto paper and now that I have I feel marginally better, although still pissed off that this book exists and that I currently own it. 
Sigh. 
Well if you stuck around for the ride, I appreciate it. If you skipped this particular book review, I understand that too. 
Recommendation: Burn this book. However, if you want a gritty, tantalizing fantasy story, pick up the original Wicked Lovely and be whisked away into a world that has stuck with me since the first moment I read it on the fateful day at the grocery store. 
Score: 3/10
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