#um... you know that one quote that the robin who's part of the day of devotion duo with chrom has...

[the-priestess-of-dawn]

Grima and Final Blows

The other day I mentioned that I had an essay about Grima to write that I'd been putting off, and between that and all the great essays my fellow Grimleal scholars have been putting out recently, I decided to sit down and finally get it done.

So here you go. An analysis of Grima's difficulties with directly killing people.

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time, because one of my favorite things to explore when it comes to Grima is the gap between their villain act, which they actively play up in front of others in both Awakening and FEH, and their true feelings, which are hinted at in Awakening (particularly through the Future Past DLC) and made even clearer in FEH— their own evil actions are repulsive to them, and they wish they could live normally among humans, but they don’t believe they have any choice but to be the monster that “the fell dragon, Grima” is supposed to be. They are committed to this “fell dragon” character, to putting on a show for everyone, and they are so good at it that it’s easy to overlook that they… uh… aren’t very good at killing anyone important. Not directly, anyway.

Sure, Grima is responsible for numerous deaths. But what is their actual kill count? Well, in Awakening’s main game… zero. (Unless you count Chrom, but, as we witness, that was not a voluntary act on their part; Validar took control of their body. You could also make the argument that Grima “claiming the sacrifice” at the Dragon’s Table counts, but the problem with that is, although it’s obvious that Grima accepts the life force of the Grimleal members as a sacrifice, it’s not at all clear whether or not Grima personally kills them. Although it’s possible that they did off screen, it’s also possible that Validar killed them, or that they were ordered to take their own lives; there’s no reason Grima would have had to lay a hand on them.) In the Future Past, it’s… one, maybe one and half (Naga’s spirit, and Tiki, but only in body. More on this later.)

And it’s not as though Fire Emblem shies away from showing villains directly murdering people, Even in Awakening itself, the intro to Chapter 9 shows Aversa killing a Plegian soldier for delivering an unsatisfactory report, so it wouldn’t have been out of place to let Grima stab a few NPCs as a show of brutality. Especially seeing as Grima is the evil dragon final boss. As early as Mystery of the Emblem, we can see Medeus killing his cleric hostages to restore his own health if you fail to rescue them before trying to defeat him, and as recently as Engage, we get a whole cutscene of Sombron eating Hyacinth. Fantasy violence my beloved <3

Anyway, the point is, Grima could have been written to be much more violent and I don’t think anyone would have complained. Instead, though, Grima repeatedly— and consistently across the series— tries to avoid engaging in direct combat.

Let’s start with what Grima does in the main game of Awakening. We know that Risen pursue Lucina into the past, because we see them fall out of the portal with her in Chapter 1. We also know that those Risen, as well as the others that are appearing throughout the land, are not being directly controlled by Grima, because later in Chapter 13, as the Shepherds are leaving Plegia after meeting with Validar, Aversa, and the Hierophant, they are pursued by more skilled Risen, and Frederick notes that “Either they are learning our ways, or someone is commanding them…” So… It seems that sending the Risen—with or without specific orders—to attack while Grima is not themself present is a favored tactic.

But what about when Grima is present? Take a look at the Endgame: Grima chapter. Yes, you eventually get to engage Grima in direct combat. But not immediately. What Grima does first is…

Grima attacks the Shepherds with dark spikes from a distance, reducing everyone’s hp to 1. Now, here’s what happens next: Grima attempts to possess their past self, Robin hears the voices of their friends and breaks free, Naga heals everyone back to full health, and then the fight against Grima begins… Except actually, the Shepherds have to get to Grima first, because they’re at the top of the map and they’re not budging. Naga warns them that “Grima’s servants will beset [them] to no end.” and she’s not kidding. Grimleal reinforcements will spawn infinitely, and they can hit pretty hard. Even with everyone starting at full health, it’s possible to lose units to these Grimleal soldiers if Grima isn’t defeated quickly. Can you imagine what would happen if Naga hadn’t healed the Shepherds first?

Well, I’d guess that they’d probably all die to the Grimleal without Grima having to face them up close. Which was probably what Grima was going for.

This isn’t the only time Grima tries the dark spikes trick, either. Grima attempts this exact same move in the Future Past 3 when they face Lucina, Severa, Laurent, and Gerome.

Grima announces “With the next blow, I will kill you.” and then demands that they hand over the Fire Emblem as well as the gemstone they hold. The threat is very real. But…

Given that at 1hp, a gust of wind could take the kids out, would it not have been easier and faster to kill them and just loot their bodies immediately? And yet Grima lets the kids have an extended discussion about sacrifice, and even suggests that Lucina would indeed buy a little more time by running… Again, I cannot stress enough that Grima should be able to finish them off in one hit at this point.

So the plan was almost certainly to back off and let the Risen do the actual killing, even though that would be a lot less efficient under the circumstances. And when Chrom and the Shepherds arrive, Grima immediately turns their attention to them, saying “If it’s a reunion you seek, my soldiers shall welcome you on my behalf.” Then they once again pick a spot at the back of the map and refuse to move from it, forcing the Shepherds to fight through the Risen in order to engage Grima in combat at all.

And sure, Grima has some excuses. “I was hoping not to have to flex any muscle,” they say right before the dark spikes attack, as if to justify why they didn’t do it sooner. And of course they taunt Lucina over having to choose to whether to run as her friends sacrifice themselves for her or to stay and fight and die with them. “I must say I shall enjoy this either way!” Yes, Grima, we get it, you’ve made it very clear that you’re an arrogant asshole.

But is arrogance really all there is to it? If we look at what Tiki tells Grima in the good ending of the Future Past, it looks as though Grima’s arrogance has brought their own downfall. “If you had left Mount Prism alone, Grima, you might have stood a chance. Instead, you have brought the Awakening right to your feet.” However, when you think about it… Is Tiki’s continued existence not in itself a result of Grima’s repeated pattern of not really wanting to land a finishing blow? The game states that Grima did in fact kill Tiki… but only in body, not in spirit. This is, according to Tiki, because Robin intervened.

Now, the question I have is… Is it really possible that Robin could have intervened both against Grima’s will and without them having any idea? Honestly, it’s hard to tell exactly how aware Grima is of Robin’s resistance, because they lie about it a lot, e.g. stating that Robin’s spirit perished in sending Chrom back to his own world, even though just moments later, Robin is once again overpowering them. So, keeping in mind that Grima is a liar, was Grima really arrogant to leave Tiki’s body in Ylisstol, and to not make sure that her spirit was fully destroyed? Or was Robin simply able to capitalize on Grima’s propensity towards backing off?

Because surely the only way Grima could be unaware that Robin had acted against them is if Robin hadn’t actually acted against them. I don’t think I believe that Grima really wanted Tiki gone. Naga, sure—longtime nemesis and all. But if Grima had truly cared about seeing Tiki’s existence destroyed… Well, I doubt Robin could have interfered that much.

But maybe it could still be a matter of arrogance. Maybe Grima just didn’t think Tiki’s spirit could do anything with Naga’s spirit gone, and thus didn't care to pay attention to her anymore once she seemed dead enough.

If that’s true, it doesn’t explain why Shadows of Valentia Grima exhibits the exact same habits when fighting Alm and Celica, despite never having been outside of the Thabes Labyrinth at this point in their life. As opposed to the various Terrors throughout the rest of the Labyrinth, which chase Alm (or Celica) down in the overworld to force a fight, Grima is immobile in their room, and will wait patiently there indefinitely until the player chooses to engage. You can even evacuate from the dungeon.

But if you do choose to fight Grima, it proceeds much like the battles against them in Awakening go. The main difference is that they actually will move from their starting position this time, if you position someone in their range. That still requires a fight against (proto-)Risen who are spawning in from the sides to stop your party’s advance.

So… Now it’s starting to look like Grima actively prefers this one particular trick… And it’s a fundamentally defensive maneuver, which makes perfect sense from SoV Grima’s standpoint (they were attacked out of nowhere, after all), but is not really an obvious standout strategy for Awakening Grima, whose taunts and threats suggest an aggression that would be better supported with a more offensive strategy… Consider, too, that Awakening Grima is in fact being even more defensive than their SoV iteration, since they don’t move towards you at all.

With all that in mind, it really, really looks like Grima doesn’t want to fight, especially in Awakening. Not that they don’t intend for the Shepherds to die—on the contrary, they’ve set everything up so that the Shepherds will eventually be overwhelmed—but that they don’t want to land the killing blow.

(And gee, I wonder what might be fueling their reluctance? Being controlled and made to kill your best friend by your own hand wouldn't be totally traumatic or anything, right?)

And then... Funny thing here, I’ve been procrastinating writing this essay for a long time. I originally started thinking about it shortly before the Depths of Despair banner was released in FEH, so imagine my surprise when I saw this characterization hold up in the writing of Fell Exalt Chrom’s Forging Bonds as well… The Grima there says that Chrom was the one to kill the rest of the Shepherds. Now, it’s pretty clear that it was through Grima controlling him, but that’s not the point. The point is that once again, Grima didn't have to do any direct killing.

Look, if it had only ever happened once, I could buy that maybe Grima was just underestimating their opponents, that maybe they thought they could get away without having to put very much work in. But for Grima to operate this way so many times, so consistently, and to their own detriment? No...

Grima doesn’t like direct combat. Grima has trouble even when it’s a fight they asked for.

And when you think about it, that makes their reaction to Robin choosing to land the final blow themself in the sacrifice ending all the more understandable.

“…YOU WOULD… NOT DARE!”

Because Grima would not dare. Grima has always preferred to let someone else land the final blow.

#grima #fire emblem awakening #fe13 #grima studies #honestly realizing that main game grima doesn't kill anyone kind of shook me #future past grima only has naga and tiki... neither of which we get to see on screen so tbh grima might have weaseled out of them too #expiration has 5 range after all. naga could have just taken some dragon breath to the face from afar. we truly have no idea what grima did #to my knowledge the only time we see grima actually try to KILL kill (not dark spikes 1hp em) is... rearmed grima in the forging bonds stor #not her specific forging bonds but the general overarching one for that banner #which i have major problems with for other reasons anyway #and which might be retconned by feh itself bc thrasir said arcane weapons should be avoided at all costs yet... so many rearmed heroes now #so i don't feel too bad ignoring that one #but yeah like... writing this essay made me feel for grima even more #um... you know that one quote that the robin who's part of the day of devotion duo with chrom has... #“Having someone to express your love to is an amazing thing. There IS more to life than constant battle!” #yeah. i think about that quote and i think about grima's defensive fighting style and i. feel things. #to exist always on the defensive... #such an exhausting life they lead

[hawkinshell-fire]

Looking at You

SUMMARY

Max's somewhat estranged sister moves to Hawkins after hearing from Max everything that's been going on with their mom. She only plans on helping her sister. She never expected to hate and love someone so much. **Disclaimer in some parts I do use some direct quotes from the episode one script.**

WORD COUNT:

1703

Chapter Three: Edward Munson

Dustin runs through the doors and goes to counter.

"Steve how many phones do you have?" Dustin ask the guy behind the counter he has short brown hair that looks like he takes all day to style, beside him is a short haired girl.

"Dude someone was murdered what are you doing out?" He asks Dustin.

"How many phones do you have!" He shouts.

"Uhm two," He says.

"Three if you count the one in the office," The short haired girl asks. At that Dustin and Max are climbing over the counter.

Steve and the girl looked dumb struck.

"Hey watch my pile of tapes," Steve whines as Dustin knocks them over.

You just stare and watch still utterly confused.

"Who are you?" The girl asks.

Pulled out of your thought you answer," Oh um Y/N, I'm Max's older sister. I just moved from California. You are?"

"Robin and this is Steve," Pointing towards the guy.

He looks at you," Do you have any idea what this about?" Steve asks you.

"No clue, I'm so confused," You say.

"Ugh Max will you fill them in," Dustin says annoyed.

Max does but to you it all sounds like nonsense. She talked about creatures from another dimension that leaked into your world. She also told you about a girl with super powers. Who just so happens moved to California last summer. To your surprise though Steve and Robin don't look surprised. They look terrified. After she catches Robin and Steve up about Eddie.

"Why do you need to call Eddie's friends?" Steve asks.

"To find him," Dustin says.

"You want to find him!" Steve says shocked.

"Correct," Dustin replies.

Max, Dustin and Robin make phone calls to all of Eddie's friends. Steve tends to the customers. You just stand off to the side still puzzled by what you were just told. If it was true your step brother Billy didn't die in a mall fire. He died protecting Max from some big freaky flesh monster. No wonder Max felt so guiltily about his death.

"Guys I think I've got something," Max says, “there's this guy named Reefer Rick. Eddie get his supplies from him," She continues.

"Okay, so where does he live?"  Robin asks.

"That's the problem nobody knows, he's kind of more of a legend," Max says disappointed.

Steve comes back from dealing with a customer. "Bet the cops know the last name. I mean, listen, if this Reefer Rick is actually a drսg dealer, I guarantee you he's been busted at some point. Means he's in the system," he says.

"Really Steve the cops were trying to help him," Dustin scoffs, "You think Eddie's guilty don't you."

"We just can't rule it out Dustin," You chime in yet again.

"Exactly," Steve agrees pointing at you.

"That's precisely what we're trying to do here, Steve. And maybe we'd have a little bit more luck if you'd stop flirting with the customers." Dustin shoots. "Hey Somebody has to attend to the customers," Steve retorts.

" Especially if they're babes, right?" Robin snaps.

"Hey they're not all babes I attend to all customers we have a wife selection, it can be overwhelming," Steve snaps.

"Oh my god, that's it!" Robin explains going over to the computer.

"What's it?" Max asks excitedly.

"We don't need a last name,  we can just see if he's in our system. Hmm there's twelve Rick's in here," She says.

"That's a lot" Max says.

"So let's narrow it down," Robin Replies clicking on the first name. She names off different movies.

"Definitely not," Says Steve.

Robin moves on to the next naming off the movies on his list.  He doesn't sound like a match either so Robin moves on to the third.

"Okay Rick Lipton. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Cheech & Chong's Next Movie. Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams. Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke," She reads.

"I think we found our guy," Dustin says.

"Yep and we got his address right here," Robin points.

Before you know it the five of you are in Steve's car on your way to Reefer Rick's house.

*************

Dustin starts banging on Rick's door.

"Rick! Rick! Reefer Rick," He shouts.

"Dustin stop shouting his name like that," You say to the child.

"Eddie come on no cops we just want to talk," Dustin continues to yell.

"No one's here," Steve says just as Max speaks.

"Guys,"

Everyone goes to her. She's pointing towards an old boat house.

"That looks like the perfect hideout," Robin says.

The five of you walk towards the boat house.  You guys step inside.

"God it's disgusting in here," Steve looks around. Everybody splits up trying to see of Eddie is here. Steve grabs an oar and start poking a covered boat.

"Steve what are you doing?" Dustin asks.

"What he might be under here," Steve replies.

"So take off the tarp," Dustin snips.

"You take it off," Steve continues stabbing the tarp getting further to the top.

"Wait guys look someone was here," Robin says standing by a work bench. Littered with wrappers and beer bottles.

"Oh don't worry, Steve will get him with his oar," Dustin says sarcastically.

You here Steve scoff. Then the next thing you know he's pressed against the wall. Eddie holding a broken bottle to his throat.

Steve gasps. "Wait wait wait whoa!" Steve yells panicked.

" Whoa whoa Eddie Eddie calm down it's me Dustin!" Dustin shouts at Eddie. You, Robin and Max stand in shock.

"Look this is Steve. Steve drop the oar," Dustin tells Steve. He listens.

"What are you doing here?" Eddie finally speaks up.

"I'm were here to help you," Dustin tells him.

"These are my friends, you know Robin from band, Max the one who never wants to play DnD with us, and her sister Y/N, right Eddie? So why don't you just put down the bottle and we can talk," Dustin tells him.

Eddie looks at the group. You feel like his eyes linger on you. He drops the broken bottle.

"We just wanna know what happened," Dustin tells him.

Eddie scoffs" you guys won't believe me if I tell you,"

"Try us," Max says.

Eddie starts, "Her body just lifted on the air and she uh hung there and her bones,  uh she, " You hear him whimper.

"Her bones started to break and then her eyes, it was as if someone was pulling on them from inside her head. I didn't know what to do so I...I just ran," He finishes.

He stares at Dustin." You guys think I'm crazy don't you" Eddie says weakly.

"No Eddie no we don't think you're crazy," Dustin says.

" Come on Henderson don't bullshit me I know how it sounds," Eddie tells him.

"We're not bullshitting you, we believe you," Max says to him.

You don't know if you really do this all seems pretty insane to you.

Dustin then tells Eddie exactly what Max told you earlier.

"That night Eddie did you see anything. Like dark particles?" Robin asks Eddie." It would almost look like swirling dust," She continues.

"No man there was nothing you could see or touch," He replies.

" I...I tried to wake her you know," Eddie cries, " but She couldn't move. It was like she... she was in a trance or something."

"Or under a spell, a...a curse," Dustin rambles.

Him and Eddie look at each other, " Vecna's curse," they both say.

"Who's Vecna?" You ask.

"A dark wizard from DnD, " Eddie says glancing at you. 

A few minutes pass as the rest of the group talk about this Vecna creature and the events of the past.

In the distance there's sirens. They're getting closer.

"Um guys," You interrupt.

They all stop and listen.

"Eddie the tarp," Dustin yells.

Eddie gets back into the boat and pulls over the tarp. Everyone is quite you all look out the windows. You watch as the cops speed past. The group of four look to each other.

"Eddie we have to go check that out," Steve tells him.

Eddie pops out from under the tarp. "Wait I don't want to be here alone," Eddie cries.

"Uhm okay who wants to stay?" Steve asks looking around.

Nobody says anything.

"Princess can stay," Eddie says pointing at you.

Your face turns red, from anger and embarrassment.

"I can't stay with you Edward," You spit, "I need to stay with Max," You tell him.

"It's fine I'll keep an eye on her," Steve says as they're already walking out the door.

Dustin throws Eddie a walkie talkie. Then they're gone. It's just you and Eddie. You stare at him seething for what he did.

************

It had gotten dark quickly, and the cold came with it. You sat on an old milk crate, ignoring Eddie as best you can.

He's pacing the boat house waiting on everyone else to get back. He tried talking to you earlier but you ignored him. Still angry about him calling you princess in front of the others.

Eddie hears you shivering he must have. He throws his big leather jacket at you. You glare at him in protest.

"Come on just put it on princess I can hear your teeth chattering," He tells you.

You put on the jacket, only because of how cold you are.

"Can you stop calling me that? You know my name now," You ask. Dustin having told him earlier.

He comes and sits in front of you.

"Hmmn, No thanks princess, I like the rise it gets out of you," He replies and then winks.

He winked at you.

You're frustrated, "What do you mean the rise it gets out of me?" You ask angrily.

He chuckles. 'Precisely that princess, you get so ANGRY, and your cheeks they get so red," He laughs again.

"THEY DO NOT!" You yell.

He smirks. The smirk reaching his chocolate brown eyes.

"They do princess," He tells you reaching up and stroking your cheek.

This time you do feel your face warm.

"Edward Munson I swear if we live, I'm going to kill you myself!" You yell smacking his hand away from you.

Chapter Four: Snap

#eddie munson x mayfield!reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie x reader #stranger things

[stevenismyboy]

You Belong Among The Stars.

a/n: inspired by a post written by @jxnehxpper​ (check her work out because it’s incredible!!!) from a few weeks ago, I just couldn't resist not writing about Steve as Han Solo! I haven't been here long enough, but I hope you still enjoy my work. The day after tomorrow, or in two days' time I should publish the next part of To All The Boys I Loved Before au- who's excited? I certainly am! 

summary: This year, Steve is dressing up as a famous Star Wars smuggler for Halloween. But he didn't expect to meet a princess on his way. You can find my Masterlist here.

-

Steve loved Halloween. As soon as the leaves on the trees started to turn red, yellow and orange instead of green, he and Dustin just couldn't wait for it. Robin didn't share their admiration, although she was happy to join in with the costumes and go for a trick or treat in the evening. Steve wanted that night so badly. He wanted to be someone else for one night. Somebody special.

“Give me that” the guy sighed annoyed. Dustin reluctantly gave him a can of hairspray. Steve looked at himself in the mirror and put his lips in a beak, still dissatisfied with the effect. “You look good, Your Majesty. I've got to look, too. Don't be selfish!” Dustin sighed, trying to rip the can out of his hands. Steve just raised his hand up so his friend couldn't reach it. “Come on, that's not fair!”

“You, my little friend, are just going to ask the old ladies for candy. And I'm going hunting to a distant galaxy today, inhabited by the hottest girls on the planet Hawkins. You don't need a hairstyle from space” Steve snorted. 

“Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean I have to look worse. Chewbacca had a great haircut. I'm not gonna let your tall ego ruin my image” the guy answered and finally ripped out his can. His costume looked fantastic. The kid worked on it so long, Steve was impressed. The fake fur was sewn by Claudia to his brown sweatshirt and even darker pants. Dustin worked almost all evening to attach his eyebrows and beard, but Robin and Steve assured him that what he had was enough.

It was Steve who came up with the idea for their costumes. He had to admit that he surprised himself year after year. His creativity was getting higher and higher. When he was recently moving cassettes with movies on the shelf with the most watched productions, he came across Star Wars and simply couldn't resist. He found and ironed a white shirt, bought a brown vest for a few dollars, and completed the whole thing with tall shoes, waving a plastic fake gun in his hands. Everyone will know who he is. A smuggler. Casanova of the Milky Way. Han Solo.

“First of all, you look terrible enough for a creature from outer space. And second, who do you want to impress today? You've already found your Suzie” Steve shrugged his shoulders. “Excuse me? Just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'll go to Halloween unprepared. That would be unprofessional, and you, Steven Harrington, should know that of all the people you know, I am the least unprofessional. I could have been Luke, but you insisted I have to be Chewie, so bite your tongue and wait for me at the Millennium Falcon”.

“Yes, Captain” Steve saluted a friend and left the bathroom. His parents weren't home as usual. Why? To ruin his night?

Robin was already waiting downstairs. She was chewing the gum lazy looking at his childhood photos in frames, listening to the wind howling outside. She was wearing jeans, a white checked shirt and a red vest, much more spacious than the one Steve had. She looked at him surprised and made a gum balloon that broke with a loud crack.

“I have to admit that... I didn't expect you to look so good. And believe that it was supposed to be a compliment”she added quickly when Steve made a pirouette to present herself to her. “You really liked that movie so much?” Steve wrinkled his nose, pointing to her outfit. “Well, I don't remember much of it, given that I was completely high, but I had no other idea, and time was running out. Besides, I didn't spend millions on it. Marty Mcfly is fully satisfied with me” his friend shrugged her shoulders. True, she remembered little of "Back to the Future", but so what? She remembered that she liked it. Before she stared at the lights on the ceiling so long that she threw up in the bathroom.

“I gave you an idea. Then you disagreed” Steve squinted, pretending to be offended, though in a way it was. He's been dreaming about this day for months. He was supposed to be Han Solo, Dustin Chewbacca (though he would only spend two or three hours with him and Robin) and his friend was supposed to be Leia. But she didn't even want to hear about it. 

“I'll say again for the hundredth time, dingus. I don't want to and I will never dress up as a princess”. “Did you ever watch that movie? She's great! She's damn brave, sarcastic, and I guess I don't have to add that she's super hot. Don't you see the resemblance?” Steve raised one eyebrow. Robin sighined, threw herself on the couch, looking out the window. 

“You're only talking like that to convince me. My costume is ready, and Leia is absolutely not persuading me. Do you have any idea how many chicks can dress up like her today? A whole lot. You'll be able to dress up in them as much as you like. So leave me alone and accept that today you're playing a duo instead of a trio” she said with her hands behind her head. Steve refrained from commenting, hearing Dustin's feet rumble on the stairs. The boy ran to them with a perfectly laid out head, smiling from ear to ear.

“Ready for the most scary night of the year?” he asked, carrying his plastic gun and falling out before anyone could stop him.

-

After Steve and Robin made sure that Dustin would reach his friends safely and his sugar level would not exceed the norm, Steve took them both to the party he had been waiting for so long. Fortunately, Tina didn't organize it. He would have had the resistance to go to the bathroom to relive the same experience as last year. The host was some Nick (he didn't even know who hewas) but Robin made sure that he was a great guy and everyone who will be there would make sure that they don't forget that night for the rest of their lives.

They went through the crowd of sweaty teenagers, heading to the kitchen to find alcohol. Robin's blue eyes were wandering around the people, looking for a girl who has been visiting her at work quite often lately. Steve was looking around too. He was looking for smiling ladies, shiny eyes, long hair. He wanted to feel different today. He wanted to feel as if he could still please someone else. As a smuggler, he wanted to steal someone's heart today. Not for one night. Maybe for longer.

“Steve! Here!” Nancy waved at him, standing by the fireplace. Robin ran up to her first to say hi. The girl was wearing a short green dress and cardboard wings, painted with paint and glitter that was falling under her feet. She looked like a real forest fairy. Jonathan chose no costume, but was wearing a green shirt that matched his girlfriend's outfit. Steve smiled, nodding his head at him.

“You look incredible! Steve... I wouldn't expect you to be a smuggler today, Nancy smiled, drinking a sip of juice from her mug. Apparently after the last time she said she wouldn't touch alcohol on Halloween. “Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far, away...” Jonathan quoted the movie, giving Steve a hand. The boy shooked it, scratching his neck. A couple of people had already managed to hang their eyes on him and, frankly, he didn't expect it to embarrass him. He used to get used to the looks. Now, they made him feel warm.

All of a sudden, Robin's eyes were shining. She saw the blackness of a girl's hair, who had recently occupied her thoughts. She banged up and put her hand on Nancy's shoulder, apologizing to her. “You'll have to forgive me for a moment. I have to... move in time” she smiled at one corner of her mouth and rushed into the crowd so she wouldn't lose her chosen one. Steve smiled at her on the run and went into the crowd himself to dance. Wanting to dance like he hadn't danced in a long time, so that he could enjoy the music with all his heart and that he was among strangers for whom he was now only a smuggler.

At the same time, you too are stuck in a crowd of people. The pride in your costume began to splash like a soap bubble. The long, white dress got tangled under your feet, the long sleeves made you hot. It's good that the belt kept the fabric at the waist and didn't slip lower than it should. Instead of two princess's chignons on both sides of your head, you tied ordinary ponies, hoping that everyone would still know who you are today.

As you were fixing your make up on the couch, the mascara fell out of your hand, making your fingers black. All you wanted was to get into the bathroom to wash your fingers and accidentally not touch the dress. The princess is not allowed to walk in dirty clothes. But a party is always a party. A moment of inattention was enough for someone to step on a piece of your dress. You lost your balance by falling into a crowd of people, getting ready to meet the floor.

But that didn't happen. Someone's strong shoulders woven around your waist to protect you from falling. The ponies just swirled around your face, and when you took them aside, your heart stopped.

The universe has stopped for a moment. The planets stopped circulating, the stars surely glowed brighter. Steve couldn't believe his eyes. One moment he danced as if it was the last night of his life, and the next he held Princess Leia in his arms. You were speechless. The real, living Han Solo embraced you with no intention of taking his hands off you.

“I... um... my hands are dirty” you said the first thing that came to your mind, hitting yourself in your head for this stupid sentence. “My hands are dirty, too” Steve said immediately, and then he closed his eyes from embarrassment. “I mean... No, they're not, you don't have to worry about the dress, but it's a quote... That's what Han Solo said to Leia when... I just wanted...”. “I understand” you said it with a wide smile. Steve relaxed. He still didn't take his hands, but at least he stopped feeling the burning shame. “Well, if you know the movie so well, what did Han Solo say later?”

“I think... I think he asked 'what are you afraid of?’” Steve guessed, squinting his dark eyes a little. “Afraid?” you repeated amused again, not believing in your own happiness. Someone who knew Star Wars lines by heart, someone who was dressed up as Han Solo, someone who looked amazingly charming saved you from falling? No way. 

“You're trembling” Steve squinted, continuing to quote. Maybe he was even a little right. You got goosebumps out of your nerves, although just a moment ago, the long sleeves were keeping the heat. “I'm not trembling” your fingers went to his vest. You forgot they could leave ink streaks.

“You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life” Steve smiled even wider. “I happen to like nice men”. “I'm a nice man” he said it clearly. If he have to, he'll convince you to spend the evening with him. That he won't do anything to upset or disappoint you. He didn't even have to try. You already believed him.

“Well, let's see how well you're dancing” you're smiling, giving him a hand, completely forgetting the traces of the mascara. Steve didn't even care about that. He was led by the princess to the middle of the dance floor and when she held his hand he could swear that although he was in the middle of the house, he saw the stars in front of his eyes.

Taglist: @mochminnie​ @quen1054 @krazykatkay456​ @sydzygy​ @ghostineleven​ @the-almond-dinger​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #dustin henderson #dustin henderson imagine #robin buckley #robin buckley imagine #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler imagine

[ellewords]

Hi elle! How are you today? Take care of yourself.

Okay; Corvus and Gemini, atair and proxima centauri, moon and comet.

Have a nice day, dear!!

i’m doing alright !! hope you have a nice day as well <33

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

corvus : what are 5 things you appreciate about yourself?

— it’s the way i had so much difficulty answering this question. uh i guess that i like how i make a conscious effort to be kind to everyone. i know this is very bare minimum, but a lot of people don’t even have the decency to do that. um i like that i try to make sure that the skincare and makeup that i use are cruelty free (bec animal testing just makes me 😡). i like my hair, it’s pretty wavy which is nice (though very hard to care for and maintain). i am actually running out of things?? my handwriting is decent when my professor isn’t talking at the speed of light. and i like that i can read relatively fast considering that it comes in handy for my degree.

gemini : which character (fictional or not) is your spirit animal?

hmm i assume this means which character i identify with most? if so probably yachi from hq or amy from b99. though i would just love to exude elle woods, hermione granger, or robin from stranger things energy.

though a little note on using the term “spirit animal”

atair : why is your favourite book, well, your favourite? do you have a favourite quote from it?

— paulo coelho’s the alchemist (which i’m rereading rn) !! just a lovely story about listening to one’s heart, following dreams, and just so so well written. i have so many favorite quotes i can’t just choose one !!!

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” — 🥺

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” — so who’s gonna tell me this huh :<<

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

“Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.”

“We are travelers on a cosmic journey,stardust,swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

proxima centauri : if you would have the chance to travel the world, which places or countries would you like to see?

— i really just want to go to a field of tulips in holland 😔 also maybe italy so i can put all these italian language classes to good use 🤧

moon : “A man is made of memories. It is all we are.“ (Lawrence) what do you think this means? Do you agree?

— the way this question sent me into my comparative literature classes. to an extent, i suppose i agree. memories play a role in who we are as people; the places we go to, the people we encounter and share them with, how we interact with these things all contribute in some way to our view of the world and of ourselves. and every single day we make different memories, also opening up the idea of growth and change based on the things we learn from these experience. but i don’t know, part of me likes to think that there’s more to us than that?

comet : you have the chance to undo one thing or decision in your life, would you take it? If you are comfortable sharing: what did you change?

— hmm, i don’t think i have any huge ~regrets~ in life. mostly because i really do try to think things through carefully. though i guess i wish i was more open and extroverted, esp before the entire world was put in pause; said yes to more opportunities, accepted more invitations to nag out, and just not let my anxiety get the better of me ://

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

neat space asks !!! 🪐

#💘 — love elle! #🎐 — cloudedsky29! <3 #thanks for sending this in!!

[themangledsans0508]

Pick-up Lines

My friend @traumatatic has given me permission to write another story based on their wonderful comics, check them out!: https://traumatatic.tumblr.com/post/170904809853/happy-valentines-2018-boiiiiii-pick-up-lines-are

Tweek waited outside Craig’s house. The sun was just rising over the mountains, bathing the land in a gentle light. He frequently looked over his shoulder out of habit. The bird’s songs comforted him slightly, helping him keep a grip on reality. He focused on the bird’s serenade, so much so that he failed to hear a door open behind him. 

He tried to identify the birds. Chickadee, Blue Jay, Robin-

“Help!” Craig’s voice snapped Tweek out of his thought train. His head whipped around in a panic, looking for the threat. All he saw was Craig standing with a smirk on his face. He took a few steps towards him before turning dramatically and falling. 

Tweek instinctively moved to catch him, one of his arms hooking around his shoulder and the other around his waist. His eyes filled with concern. He opened his mouth to talk.

“I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.” Craig’s eyes smiled at him, unlike Tweek’s own unamused ones. He frowned at him.

“Craig, you scared the shit out of me. I thought something was wrong” he scolded. Craig’s smile never faltered. 

“You forgive me, don’t you?” Tweek sighed.

“Yes, of course I do. Now get up before I drop you,” he half-joked. Craig straightened up, moving his arm to be around Tweek’s shoulders. 

“Fine then, let’s get going before we’re late for school.” He started walking, Tweek falling into step with him quickly.

~

Tweek didn’t exactly know why he felt safer at Craig’s house than he did his own, but it was a feeling he enjoyed. Sitting next to his partner, watching Red Racer as Craig flipped through images on his camera’s memory card. 

Click, click, click.

A steady sound. Tweek wondered just how many pictures Craig had on that card. It was a lot, and he was fairly sure after watching him tab through a fair amount that a lot of them were of him, and of those were taken while he wasn’t paying attention. 

Craig’s eyes darted from the camera to him. He smiled and leaned towards him. 

“Are you a camera?” he patted the aforementioned object that was hanging off a strap around his neck. He rested his elbow on the armrest beside him, his eyes focusing on the wall over there. 

His photo collection decorated the wall. Six pictures, his favourites he had taken. One was a close up of stripe, his eyes full of curiosity as he approached, all captured in a single frame. Another of his family, his mother and father smiling while Trica and Craig frowned. He was sure that if it hadn’t been Craig’s picture they would all be frowning just because that was their family and they all seldom smiled. 

Well, he used to rarely smile. Now he smiled often, or at least often in the time he spent with Tweek. That of course, was the time they spent together, which almost always made him happy.

The last four pictures all had something in common. Tweek was in all four, One by himself, where he was laughing and smiling. He remembered when Craig took that picture. They had been sitting in the park, babysitting Trica and Craig refused to stop cracking jokes. Tweek now figured it was not just because he was feeling silly, but because he wanted to capture Tweek’s laugh in a photo. He had to respect his determination, seeing as Tweek was normally rather camera shy.

Two more were of the pair together, both smiling, and quite frankly looking like an old married couple. In one they were looking forward and actually holding hands off-camera. In the other, their foreheads were pressed together, Tweek’s eye’s closed while Craig’s were open. 

The last one was of Tweek and Trica because Craig wanted to capture “the sweet and the sour” and Trica had only agreed because she “wanted to be able to prove that she had known her future brother-in-law when they were kids,” which had gotten her whacked upside the head by Craig.

Tweek inspected the pictures, trying to see what on Earth Craig could be talking about. He couldn’t see anything that he would have in common with a photo collection. 

“Argh- what?”

“Because every time I look at you,” he waved his hand towards the collection, “I smile.” Tweek’s cheeks flushed and he put a hand to his cheek.

“Craig, come on, you’re such a dork,” he giggled. 

“You love it.”

~

Tweek’s fingers gracefully moved on the cool smooth keys as he played out a melody. His eyes remained glued on the sheet music in front of him that he had written. He didn’t have long to practice, the talent show was only a few hours away.

Craig, who was supposed to be helping, was doing quite the opposite. He kept tapping the piano, throwing off Tweek’s rhythm. That wasn’t it either, he had draped himself over the back of the piano with his hand hanging over Tweek’s papers. He had quoted three Shakespeare lines over and over and tried to convince Tweek to “paint him like one of his French Craigs,” for whatever that meant. 

When those didn’t work, he instead opted to sit next to him and pull him into his lap, then to pepper kisses all over his face and neck. His hair tickled Tweek and he had to put all his effort into focusing on the piano and not on his beloved boyfriend.

Craig finally elected to simply lean against the piano and watch in silence.

For about five minutes.

Then he got that mischievous glint in his eyes, the one that Tweek knew meant he was in trouble. 

“I hope it’s no tremble,” he said, “but I’d like to be with you.”

Tweek’s hands flew to the sides of his head and he groaned, slamming his elbows on the keys making a loud clash of sour notes.

“Flirting can wait. The talent show is- nggh- in a few hours Craig!” Tweek scolded. Craig shrugged.

“You’re too pretty. I can’t help myself.” Tweek sighed, defeated.

“Later, loverboy. I have to make up for last time’s show.”

~

Tweek worked smoothly and efficiently, carefully cutting the carrot under his hand into even slices. His typical shaking gone for the time being, which he was thankful for under the circumstances. He was going to have to cut them even smaller later, but not yet.

Craig was right next to him, stirring the batter for their carrot cake. The coffee shop needed more desserts and Craig had refused to let Tweek make them all by himself. He wasn’t all that into baking, but he was into anything if he did it with Tweek.

Well, that’s what Clyde told Tweek. Craig simply said he didn’t feel like going home yet.

Tweek could sense Craig getting bored, mostly by the fact that he kept hitting their bodies together in between Tweek’s chops. He was very touchy, which Tweek would have never guessed before.

He wasn’t complaining though.

Craig stopped stirring and if Tweek hadn’t been paying attention to his actions he would have caught Craig staring at him. He hit his spoon to the bottom of the mix, watching the batter push out of the way. He glanced at Tweek again and saw him about halfway done a carrot, and on the upswing of the latest slice. He playfully pressed his body against him. 

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.” He flipped his spoon back, flinging some of the batter at the wall.

“Craig, stop,” Tweek giggled. He couldn’t even pretend to be mad. He liked when Craig showed affection, and the fact he was the only person who got to see this side of him. 

“I can’t. I have zero impulse control. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want to.”

~

“It’s right up here,” Craig pointed out, basically dragging Tweek up the mountain. Dusk was setting on their sleepy mountain town on the favourite day of February. Craig had refused to say much about the valentines day surprise, only that it would be special. Now they were climbing up a hill near Stark’s pond, Tweek wearing a backpack and Craig scrambling like a goat. 

Tweek’s bag wasn’t heavy, but hiking in a sweatshirt instead of his favorite button-up was kind of restricting, and he was sweating too. Craig was wearing his usual outfit but didn’t seem to be hot at all, maybe cold with how fast he was moving.

Craig finally stopped on a ridge, taking Tweek’s hand and helping him up. 

“Here it is.” Craig folded his hands behind his back, looking rather sheepish like he was afraid Tweek wouldn’t like the scene before him. 

There was a teal blanket spread out on the ground, with another aquamarine blanket off to the side, presumably in case it got colder than it already was. In the centre was a bundle of roses. 

Tweek took a few steps forward, reaching out and gently grabbing the red flowers.

“So, um, do you like it? I mean, I’m not good at this whole dating thing.” Craig rubbed the back of his head, shuffling his feet. Tweek shook his head.

“No, no. Craig, I love it,” Tweek murmured, kneeling down onto the soft fabric. He motioned for Craig to sit next to him, who readily complied. Tweek took his bag off his back and pulled out a bouquet of daffodils, handing them over to Craig. 

“I wanted to get you something since I knew you’d get me something. You did last year and the year before. But I knew you didn’t really want anything so I just got you flowers. If you don’t like them I can return them-”

“Tweek, they’re perfect.” Craig kissed his forehead. They sat for hours, talking about things that made them laugh. They watched the sky melt from blue to intertwining shades of red, pink, and purple and saw the flurry of stars litter the sky along with the thin smile of the crescent moon.

Craig leaned back slightly. One of his arms crossed behind Tweek’s while he brought his attention to the stars.

“Right there you can see the big dipper right next to Polaris and the little dipper connected to it.”

“Polaris?”

“The North Star,” Craig explained, “They’re part of bigger constellations that are a lot harder to see. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, which actually translate directly from Latin as greater bear and lesser bear. They’re part of the Greek myth about Callisto and her son Arcas. We’ll probably learn about it in school soon.”

“How much do you know about space?” Tweek asked.

“More than any teacher at our school,” he boasted. Tweek rolled his eyes.

“Maybe you should teach instead.”

“Trust me, if I could this town we be a hundred times smarter.” Craig pointed up to another pair of constellations. “Right there to the right of Polaris are Cassiopeia and Cepheus, king and queen respectively. Another long Greek story, I can tell you it sometime if you’d like, just not right now. There are other big constellations I want to show you right now though.”

“I’d love to hear it sometime. Maybe another night out like this.” Craig blushed slightly.

“You’re very eager. Definitely a night sometime soon. Okay, back on track. Right there weaving between the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper is Draco, which means the dragon or literally the long serpent in Latin-”

“You know a lot of Latin.”

“Only when it has to do with space. Anyway, Draco is made up of Thuban, Rastaban, and Eltanin.” Craig noticed Tweek’s slightly confused look.

“More stars. It has like, three or four myths about it. If we turn around there should be about five more constellations.” Craig laid on his back, looking behind them. “There’s Orion, the hunter. He’s easy to tell from the three bright stars on his belt. He’s up above Sirius, and the right side of his tunic is marked by Rigel and his shoulder is Betelgeuse. He was a great hunter in Greek mythology, son a Poseidon. Then he got stung by a scorpion and fucking died.” Tweek laughed.

“Wow, that’s sad.”

“I know, right? The lesson is he got killed by a scorpion because he boasted too much but there’s debate about that.”

“Scientists and Astronomers are obsessed with Greek mythology. Even you,” Tweek teased. Craig felt his cheeks heat up.

“Well, it’s cool. And I didn’t name all the stars.” Craig tugged Tweek down next to him so that he would see the view from Craig’s angle.

“How much Greek mythology do you know?” Tweek questioned.

“A lot I guess. Here’s another. Right there connected to Sirius is Canis Major and then to the left and up from that one is Canis Minor, and they were said to have been Orion’s loyal dogs, which is why the three connect almost in a triangle. The Pleadieds are over there, they’re the seven daughters of a nymph Pleione and the Titan Atlas. The last constellation that’s easy to see this time of year is Gemini, the twins, east of Orion’s belt. Their names are Castor and Pollux, which are also the names of the stars that make up their heads. They were said to be twin brothers and one was the son of Zeus but not the other? I don’t know how that works. But during the Trojan war, Castor was killed and Pollux begged his dad to take away his immortality so he could be with his brother and instead Zeus made them constellations.”

“That’s really sweet, actually. Brothers that were best friends. You and Trica could learn a thing or two from them.” Craig clicked his tongue as Tweek giggled quietly.

“Nah, I’d rather be put in the sky with you. Fuck Trica.” Craig pushed himself up to appreciate the swirling dance of the cosmos. Tweek copied his movements, his gaze following Craig’s.

“We have to do this again sometime. It’s beautiful and peaceful,” Tweek breathed, taking in the smell of the outdoors. Craig nodded in agreement.

“If I had a star for every time you brightened my day,” Craig reached his hand up in what looked like an attempt to grab the stars “I’d be holding a galaxy.”

Tweek used one hand to grab Craig’s and his other to pull the strings on Craig’s chullo hat towards him. He cupped Craig’s cheek with one hand and gently kissed him.

“I’m already holding a galaxy.”

#sp creek #creek sp #south park #south park creek #creek south park #tweek tweak #craig tucker #sp tweek #sp craig #tweek sp #craig sp #tweek x craig #tweekxcraig #craig x tweek #craigxtweek #tweek tweak sp #sp tweek tweak #sp craig tucker #craig tucker sp #sp #chara writes

[spiritedquill]

Sonny’s Home For Boys:  Chapter 10

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10

AO3 | FFnet

Summary:  He wasn’t staying. There was no way he could stay, even if Sonny treated him like one of his own. He had to get back to Sammy. His dad would come back and he’d go back to doing what he did best: hunting. Still… the mysterious blue-eyed boy named Castiel made it really hard to not want to stick around and never go anywhere else again.

Chapter 10: 

The next few days, Dean kept his head down and gave Cas some space. At school, he worked quietly in chem lab and didn’t try to start anything. He was waiting for the right time. 

He didn’t see Cas at Sonny’s, and when he asked about it Sonny told him he was staying at Charlie’s house for a few days. Dean was hoping he’d get the chance to talk to Cas at the wrestling meet on Thursday but Cas didn’t show. Dean still tried to focus on the team. He didn’t want to let them down.

Dean actually won a medal at the meet. He hadn’t even realized it was a big deal kind of event but he won all but one match and apparently it was some sort of tournament. Dean actually allowed himself a moment to feel proud of his achievement. He wondered if his dad would be proud of him. 

Dean found Sonny after the winners all received their awards, unable to contain his bright grin. 

“You did a good job, son,” the man said, smiling warmly and clapping Dean’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”

Dean startled, looking up at Sonny with wide eyes. He tried to remember the last time he’d heard those words directed at him. Nothing came to mind. 

“I, um…” Dean cleared his throat. “Thanks, Sonny.” If only he knew just how much Dean meant it. 

“I’ll drive ya home, Dean.”

Nodding, Dean followed Sonny outside and hopped in the truck. 

“I didn’t see Cas tonight,” Sonny commented, and Dean could tell he was going somewhere with this. “Any idea why he didn’t show?”

Dean shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat. “No, sir.”

“Dean,” Sonny said pointedly. “You really think I haven’t noticed something’s going on between you two? I may be getting old but I haven’t lost all my marbles yet.” 

Dean sighed. “Dammit,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Is it really that obvious to everyone?” 

Sonny smiled kindly. “Listen, son. I know how it is. You boys are stubborn and no one wants to make that first move but it’s gotta be done. And if you’re waiting for someone else to make it, you might be stuck waiting forever.”

Dean swallowed thickly, running his fingers through his hair. “What if he doesn’t wanna talk to me? I’m pretty sure he hates me by now.” 

Sonny actually laughed and Dean frowned at him. The man shook his head and apologized. “Man, if you could see the way that boy looks at you when he thinks no one’s paying attention.”

Dean soaked that in. Everyone kept saying that Cas looked at him like… well, he didn’t know what. He wished he could see whatever it was that everyone else saw on Cas’s face. If it was anything like the way Dean thought he looked at Cas, then it really must have been something. 

“Just talk to him, Dean,” Sonny said, as if it were that simple. “He might surprise you.”

Dean sighed. “He barely looks at me. How the hell am I supposed to talk to him?”

Sonny glanced at him, frowning at the sullen look on his face and the slouch of his shoulders. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” he said. “But Charlie’s house is just a block away from the school. He’s been staying there for a few days now. It’s the house on the corner by the flower shop. When you’re ready to take that first step, you can find him there.”

Dean stared at him for a moment, then swallowed and looked out the passenger window. They were both quiet for the rest of the drive, and Dean thought about what Sonny said. And what Robin said, and Benny. According to them, it was just as simple as talking to Cas. Telling him how he felt. Dean had never been very good at talking about his feelings, but if that was what it would take to get Cas to talk to him again… Well, he was still pretty sure he sucked at it, but he was willing to try. 

…

The closer they got to the dance, the less sure Cas was that it was a good idea to go at all. He didn’t want to see Dean, dancing with Robin and flirting with Robin and touching Robin… Everything he wanted Dean to do with him. 

But it was pretty hard to say no to Balthazar. And Charlie, too. They were going to the dance as a trio, and Cas begged them to go without him but they wouldn’t have it. 

“Our funky bunch isn’t complete without the quirky introverted nerd,” Charlie told him matter-of-factly as they searched through her movie collection. Cas rolled his eyes and her expression turned serious. “Besides. The school board is apparently trying to ban gay couples from going to the dance together. So we’re going to rebel by going as a gay trio and they can’t do a damn thing. There’s going to be so much gay at this dance that they won’t know what to do.”

“Hell yes,” Balthazar called from the kitchen. “Tomorrow is going to kick ass!”

Cas couldn’t help but smile. “Fine, but I’m not dancing.”

“Not dancing my ass!” Balthazar shouted, outraged. There was a knock at the door and he frowned. “I’ll get it!” he called to Charlie and Cas, heading down the hall. 

When he opened the door, he swore he could feel steam blowing out of his ears. “What the hell are you doing here, Winchester?” he spat out. 

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and forced the words out of his mouth. “I need to talk to Cas.”

“He doesn’t want to see you,” Balthazar said, low and dangerous. He did his best not to let his voice rise in anger, not wanting Cas to hear from the other room. “You’ve got some nerve just showing up here after what you did.”

“I…” Dean hesitated. He knew he’d fucked up, but he couldn’t figure out exactly what Balthazar was referring to. He shook his head and met Balthazar’s eyes seriously. “Please, I need him to know that I--”

“Bye, Dean,” Balthazar said and closed the door in his face. 

“Wait!” Dean knocked on the door again, insistent. Balthazar opened it again, his eyes dark, and Dean was growing desperate. “I never wanted to hurt Cas. I swear. I messed up.”

“You think?” Balthazar muttered, rolling his eyes. 

“Look, I get it, you don’t like me,” Dean continued, and Balthazar scoffed. “But I care about Cas. I just need him to know that I lo--” He stopped abruptly, the words unwilling to crawl up his throat. “I just need to talk to him.”

Balthazar actually seemed to consider it. But then he glared at Dean and began to close the door again. “You missed your chance,” he said before closing it and locking it. He saw Dean walk away, shoulders slumped, and he muttered something about a damn pity party before padding back to the kitchen. He grabbed the finished popcorn out of the microwave and poured both bags into a large bowl. 

“Who was at the door?” Cas asked with a smile when Balthazar appeared in the living room. 

Balthazar shrugged. “Just some sorry sap selling the ‘next big thing,’” he said, making air quotes. “Nothing to worry about.” 

Cas barely listened to his response as he pulled The Princess Bride from the cabinet and held it up with a grin. Charlie and Balthazar groaned and he laughed. “What? You guys love this movie.”

“I did until you picked it for ten movie nights in a row,” Charlie whined. “How many times are you going to watch it before you get bored?”

Cas grinned. “There’s a shortage of perfect movies in the world…”

Charlie groaned, throwing her hands up. “Fine, you win!”

They settled in to watch the movie, Charlie on the reclining chair and Balthazar and Cas sharing the couch. As per usual, Cas sat tucked in against Balthazar’s side and Balthazar put his arm around Cas’s shoulders. Balthazar couldn’t help but smile at how relaxed Cas was. He actually looked happy. And that was how he knew he was right to turn Dean away. He wasn’t going to let Dean steal Cas’s smile away ever again.

…

Dean met Robin at her house around 5:00 p.m. on Saturday, dressed in an ironed-- yes, ironed-- blue button-down shirt and a pair of old dress slacks that used to be Sonny’s. It was pretty much the nicest thing he’d ever worn.

He had a single rose tucked behind his back-- Ash’s idea-- and used his other hand to knock on the door. 

“One second!” came Robin’s muffled voice inside. Dean smiled and shifted nervously. Then he felt dumb for being nervous. They were just going as friends. They had agreed.

They had also agreed that kissing was awkward and not really something they should do with each other anymore. Dean was relieved as soon as Robin admitted that it felt forced to her, too. 

It didn’t feel forced with Cas. But that was something to focus on another day. 

Pulling him out of his thoughts, Robin answered the door with a grin. Dean smiled and brought the rose around from behind his back. Robin laughed and took the flower with a sweet smile. “It’s beautiful, Dean, thank you,” she said. 

“Ready to go?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll just grab my sweater.” She disappeared for a moment and then they were on their way. “So, did you talk to Cas?”

Dean sighed. So much for not focusing on it. 

“I tried, but Balthazar answered the door.”

Robin winced sympathetically. “Yeah, that couldn’t have gone well.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Dean scoffed. “I mean, I guess I get why he hates me.”

Robin shrugged. “He’s just protective is all. He and Cas… there’s a lot of history there.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably, debating whether or not he wanted to say what he was thinking. He decided it couldn’t hurt. “Were they ever… ya know…”

“No,” Robin said, almost too quickly, and Dean raised an eyebrow at her. She laughed sheepishly. “I mean… They’ve never dated. But there’s always been… Well, at least on Balthazar’s side.” She paused, biting her lip. “Cas never felt the same, though.”

Dean nodded. Some part of him felt relieved to hear that, but he shoved that thought away. “Well, that explains it, I guess.”

They walked in silence until they got to the school, close but not quite touching. When they got to the school, Dean paused outside the gymnasium. Robin looked at him, curious. 

“Here, let me just…” He trailed off, taking the (thornless) rose from Robin’s hand. He broke off part of the step and tucked the flower in her hair. She laughed and grabbed his hand.

“Come on, they’re playing my favorite song!” she exclaimed, and Dean joined her reluctantly. 

It took a few songs, but eventually Dean found himself having fun. He had never learned how to dance, but he did his best to spin Robin around a few times and keep in time with the music. He never realized he could have this much fun at a lame school dance. 

Well, he was having fun, until he glanced at the entrance and his eyes fell on Cas. He was wearing a suit that didn’t quite fit him and his hair was ruffled a little more purposefully than it usually was. His blue eyes shone like actual fucking stars under the dim lights and Dean couldn’t breathe for a moment.

He almost dropped Robin before he came to his senses. “Sorry,” he mumbled. 

Robin looked to where he was staring and she smiled knowingly. “Just go talk to him.”

Dean shook his head, eyes wide. “Hell no. Balthazar will break my fucking nose.” 

Robin rolled her eyes. “No he won’t. He’s protective but he also knows how much Cas cares about you.”

Dean frowned. “What?”

Shaking her head, Robin turned him around and started pushing him towards Cas. “Don’t worry about it. Just go!”

Dean stumbled a bit as she shoved him, but once he was moving he couldn’t stop his feet from taking him to Cas. Swallowing nervously, Dean walked up to Cas and cleared his throat softly.

Cas turned, startled, and Charlie and Balthazar looked at him with surprise and rage respectively. “Dean?”

“You’ve got some fucking nerve--”

“Bal,” Charlie cut in softly, putting her hand on his shoulder to keep him from lunging at Dean. 

“Hey, Cas,” Dean choked out. What the hell was he doing? “Look, I…” Dammit, Dean. Pull it together. “Can we talk?”

Cas looked like he was going to say something but he just nodded silently. He looked back at Balthazar and Charlie and smiled a bit. It’s okay, he told them without words. Balthazar relaxed a bit, but he wasn’t happy about it. 

“Come on, let’s get some punch,” Charlie said, grabbing Balthazar’s hand and dragging him away. 

Dean and Cas stood there in silence for a few moments. When Dean didn’t speak, Cas squinted at him. “Dean? Is everything alright?”

Dean took a steadying breath and shook his head. It was now or never, he thought. “No. It’s not.” Cas’s face was confused so Dean continued. “Can we go outside where it’s a little more… private?” 

Cas nodded and followed Dean out to the courtyard. They walked for a bit before Dean stopped and turned to face him. “I… I miss you,” he managed in a shaky voice. “I miss talking to you. I miss… touching you, a-and flirting with you.” His voice cracked on the last word and he cleared his throat. “Dammit, I miss all of it, Cas.”

“Dean, I--”

“Cas, please, just--” Dean stared at him, pleading. “I gotta say this, okay? Before you walk away or whatever. I know I screwed up and I scared the hell outta’ you at the carnival and I understand why you hate me but--”

“Dean,” Cas cut in, more insistent this time, and Dean shut his mouth. “I don’t hate you,” he said, frowning. “You… you really thought I could ever hate you?”

Dean frowned, confused. “You… you don’t? But you… You ran away after…”

“I know,” Cas said, sighing. “I’m sorry. But I assure you it wasn’t because I hate you. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“Cas…” 

“Dean, you have no idea,” Cas breathed out, shaking his head and staring down at the ground. 

“I might,” Dean whispered, his voice low and thick with emotion. “I… I might have some idea.” 

Cas lifted his head and gasped quietly when Dean was standing only a few inches away. He was all too aware of Dean’s hand coming to rest gently on his neck, of his fingers burying themselves in his hair. His skin prickled under the touch and he stared up at Dean in stunned silence. 

“Cas,” Dean murmured, leaning forward until their foreheads touched. Cas could almost hear Dean’s heartbeat. “I… I want to…”

Cas nodded, an almost imperceptible motion but it was enough, and then Dean’s lips were on his. Cas made a soft noise in the back of his throat and Dean put his free hand on his hip, pulling him closer. He couldn’t seem to remember how to move for a moment, then he had the sense to wrap his arms around Dean’s shoulders, leaning into the kiss. Soft, warm lips, peppermint and cologne, gentle fingers under Cas’s suit jacket and over his white cotton shirt. 

Too soon, Dean was breaking away to breathe, though he didn’t go far. His forehead was still pressed against Cas’s and his hands roamed a bit, to his jaw, to the small of his back, gentle and unsure. When Cas opened his eyes, Dean was staring at him, doubt and insecurity written all over his face. Cas simply couldn’t have that. He tilted his chin up and kissed Dean lightly, more brief this time, but it was enough to smooth the hard lines of Dean’s features into a relieved smile. 

There was no way in hell Cas was running away from him, not this time. Not ever. 

Cas’s hand fell to Dean’s side and their hands met in the middle to create a jumble of entwined fingers and slightly sweaty palms. Brilliant, giddy smiles graced both of their faces and Dean closed his eyes, laughing breathlessly. 

“That was…”

“Yeah,” Cas whispered, and Dean felt his breath on his lips. “It was.”

“Do you…” Dean cleared his throat nervously, opening his eyes again. “Do you want to go dance with me?” 

“I think I’d rather you walk me home,” Cas told him. “If that’s okay.”

Dean smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s okay.” 

Neither of them could move for a while, as if they were afraid if they did it would all be over. Dean almost believed Cas would vanish as soon as he let him out of his sight. 

As if reading his thoughts, Cas met his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to Dean’s for a few long seconds. “I already made that mistake once.”

Dean let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Me neither. I don’t wanna leave.” 

Dean’s heart clenched. It was the first time he’d admitted it out loud. He honestly didn’t know if his dad was ever coming back for him, but he didn’t think he even wanted him to.

And when Cas actually beamed at him, he knew he wouldn’t care if his dad left him here forever. 

Finally separating just enough that they could walk, they started heading back to Sonny’s. Dean didn’t let go of Cas’s hand for even a second.They frequently bumped shoulders and shared ecstatic glances as they walked in a comfortable silence. They hadn’t actually said much out loud, but they both thought that kiss had just about covered it. 

Dean was so caught up in the feeling of Cas’s hand in his and the thrilled racing of his heart that he almost didn’t hear the rustling in the bushes behind them. Almost. 

He wheeled around just in time to shove Cas out of the way and take a full swipe of sharp claws to the face. He groaned loudly through gritted teeth and stumbled back, instinctively going for his knife. 

After taking a moment to assess the situation and get a better look at what had hit him, he could clearly see it was a werewolf. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered. “Cas, get out of here!”

He prayed that Cas listened to him, but he couldn’t risk looking back to be sure. The werewolf, a crazed-looking dude with blond hair and a torn up shirt, lunged at him again and Dean swung his knife, grazing its arm. With an angry growl, the creature recoiled back and Dean took his shot. He jumped forward to stab the werewolf but fell short. The werewolf pinned him to the ground and he groaned, his knife knocked a few feet out of reach. It was all Dean could do to keep its claws and teeth from tearing him apart. 

And all of that was fine, until he saw out of the corner of his eye that Cas was still standing there, frozen in place. “Cas, dammit, run!” Dean cried desperately. His heart dropped when the monster paused to look back at where Cas was standing. The werewolf jumped off of Dean and growled before lunging at Cas. Dean rushed after it, heart pounding with fear and adrenaline.

A second before it could lay a claw on Cas, the werewolf jolted to a halt with an agonized whine, falling to the ground with Dean’s silver knife stuck through its heart. 

Dean fell to his knees shortly after. He was bleeding from a pretty deep cut on his upper arm, soaking his sleeve, but thankfully no bites. 

“Dean?” Cas choked out. “What… what the hell was that? How did you…”

Dean looked up at him with a defeated expression. There was really no getting around it after that. “You want the truth?”

“Yes I want the truth!” Even as Cas said it, he wasn’t entirely sure he did. Still, he got down on his knees, level with Dean, and stared at him pleadingly. Scared, confused, but blessedly unharmed. 

“That was a werewolf,” Dean said, and Cas laughed incredulously. When Dean’s face remained serious, though, his laugh was cut short. Dean wasn’t kidding. 

“A werewolf,” Cas said slowly, and it felt silly coming out of his mouth. “How… How can that be a werewolf? It was… Well, it looked human. Kind of.” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, common mistake. They don’t get all furry and wolf-out. But the name stuck because of the full moon thing I guess.”

Cas stared at him for a long moment, trying to wrap his head around that. He couldn’t. He shook his head a few times and frowned. “That’s impossible. There’s no such thing as werewolves. They’re just a myth.”

“Trust me,” Dean said, grunting softly in pain. “They’re very real. Oh, and ghosts, too. Vampires, shapeshifters, witches, the whole deal. All real.”

Cas shook his head again, baffled. He couldn’t believe this. “How… how do you know all of this? This-This is crazy!”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Dean huffed, laughing a bit then turning serious again. “But it’s the truth. I should know because I… Well, my dad and my brother and I, we hunt monsters. We save people.”

“You…” Cas frowned. “You hunt monsters.” Dean nodded. “And… every scary story I’ve ever heard, that’s all real?”

Dean managed a half smile. “Well, not everything. The loch ness monster is a hoax. Far as I can tell, anyway.” 

Cas huffed out an incredulous laugh, but he could tell Dean was telling the truth. As insane as it was. “So… the guy at the carnival, was he…?”

Dean frowned. “I think he was another hunter. Someone my dad must have pissed off at some point.” 

Cas let out a shaky breath, then shook his head. He still wasn’t sure if he believed it, but he knew one thing that was real, and that was that Dean was bleeding. “Are you okay to stand?” he asked, his voice unsteady. “We’ve gotta get you cleaned up.”

Dean nodded, letting Cas help him to his feet. “I’m fine, Cas, I promise. I’ve had worse.”

The thought made Cas nauseous. If Dean was telling the truth, then he was risking his life every day to help people. It was admirable, sure, but Cas knew it also meant Dean wouldn’t always come out alive.

“Let’s just get back to Sonny’s,” Cas said, trying to stay focused on taking care of Dean’s injuries. Glancing at the scratches across his cheek, Cas realized with a start that he was only alive because of Dean. “Why would you jump in the way like that? It could’ve killed you.”

Dean shrugged, wincing and holding his arm. He offered a hesitant smile. “I couldn’t let you get hurt.” As if it was as simple as that. Maybe it was, Cas thought. Maybe Dean really did care about him more than Cas had ever even imagined. “Alright, enough of that sappy bullshit,” he said with an awkward laugh. “I’m bleedin’ here.” 

Cas smiled and took his hand, and they continued towards Sonny’s. As they walked, Cas couldn’t help himself. “Why tonight? I mean, why… I thought you were into Robin, not me. What made you stay away for so long?”

Dean glanced up at Cas. He was pretty sure he made his feelings pretty damn clear with that kiss, but he should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. “I thought you wanted nothin’ to do with me,” he said gruffly. “I figured you wanted space.”

“It’s more than that,” Cas said skeptically, studying him. Dean shifted uncomfortably. “What were you so afraid of?”

“I… I wasn’t…” No, he couldn’t lie to Cas. Not anymore. Not about this. Sighing, he grabbed Cas’s arm and pulled him in so they were inches apart. Cas gasped softly, staring up at him. “Cas… After you kissed me, I didn’t know what to think. I thought it was just… getting caught in the moment or some crap. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to kiss you again, I wanted to hold you, I wanted to tell you…” he trailed off. He knew once he said the words there would be no going back. “I was so goddamn terrified, Cas, because I wanted to tell you that I… I…”

“Tell me what, Dean?” Cas whispered, inching closer. 

“I… wanted to tell you that I lo--”

A familiarly loud engine rumbled from about a block away, back at Sonny’s, and Dean’s heart sank as his words trailed off. All thoughts of telling Cas that he… well, telling him how he felt, flew out the window. His dad was back, and Sammy…

All thoughts of being selfish and staying -- because fuck did he want to stay -- left his mind when he thought of his brother. Sam needed him, and it was Dean’s responsibility to take care of him. Nothing that Dean wanted was as important as that.

“I… I have to go, Cas. I’m so sorry.” He pulled away, dropping Cas’s hand, and turned around so he didn’t have to see the hurt on Cas’s face. 

“Dean, wait!” Cas pleaded, “Where are you… Dean!”

He grabbed Dean’s hand and then they were standing face to face again. Dean didn’t know how to tell Cas that he didn’t want to go, but he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t know how to tell him that he wanted nothing more than to stay there with Cas and never go anywhere else ever again. He didn’t know how to say that he couldn’t have a normal life and he couldn’t do that to Cas. He didn’t know how to tell him that he loved him. 

A broken, desperate breath fell from Dean’s lips and then he was grabbing Cas’s face and kissing him with everything he had. Cas melted against him and his hands landed on Dean’s hips, fingers curling into his shirt. Dean moaned into his mouth, soft and wanting and heart-wrenchingly sad. 

Then, as quickly as it had begun, the kiss was over, and Dean was forcing himself to pull away from Cas. “I… I’m sorry,” he whispered, not meeting his eyes. “I have to go.”

And with that, Dean was gone. And, somehow, Cas just knew that he wasn’t coming back.

@brangaene @gggghik @sold-my-soul-for-spn

#destiel #destiel fic #destiel rp #dean winchester #castiel novak #sonny's home for boys #my fic

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: It’s Group B Time, let’s meet them! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fanatics! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana (nice to virtually meet you btw), recap every single episode of The Masked Singer. Here we are again with season 5, but this time another group, Group B, which consist of Black Swan 🖤🦢, Piglet 🐷, Chameleon 🦎, Grandpa Monster 👹 👴, and Phoenix 🦜.

So, let’s begin with the first eliminated contestant of Group B:

The first eliminated contestant was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Phoenix 🦜

Commentary: Ok, so this wasn’t surprising whatsoever, she sang Tik Tok by Kesha and you can obviously tell that she isn’t a singer at all. Like idk how else to explain it to you guys, but I guess she was talk singing... kind of like Wendy/the lips last season... so it was kind of easy the moment she opened her mouth to start singing to recognize immediately who it was...

Having said that, she was revealed to be (as I knew, this one wasn’t hard)...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Caitlyn Jenner

Hehe I knew it! Again, like Wendy Williams aka the lips, this was way too obvious. She already walked around Hollywood Blvd with the Don’t Talk to me hoodie on so I knew she was going to be on the show but the min I saw Phoenix, the clues, and the moment she opened her mouth, I was so certain it was Caitlyn. No, I am not a big Kardashian/Jenner fan tbh but I used to watch the show way back when.... like in 2016? I am not sure, but I recognized her voice immediately.

Now onto my guesses for the remaining 4:

1. Black Swan 🦢🖤

Commentary: So she sang Barracuda by Heart and damn, she got a strong voice! It’s a really amazing voice, even though the song choice wasn’t my favorite, because it didn’t suit her voice completely and showcase her range, but she was badass (can I say that? Whatever, this is my show, I’ll say it, it’s not THAT bad of a word) tbh. In certain parts, she was like screaming a lot and I was like um maybe this isn’t her best song choice but her voice is amazing! She gives me Seahorse mixed with Flamingo vibes, I love her!

I think she is singer extraordinaire:

Jojo (not Siwa but we have another Jojo on our hands)

Reasoning/Clues: there are so many clues that match but her voice is the main thing that clicked for me that it was her, but let’s look at those clues so you can get the picture:

Wanted Poster with RV highlighted= she appeared in the movie RV with Robin Williams

She talks about being trapped and someone else’s prey and then getting out of it= she was trapped in her record label & there was controversy surrounding it and she had to sue her label for not releasing her music

A 5 on a watch= she toured with 5th harmony and has released 5 albums

Cluedledoo (Rooster) clue= she covered a monster= she covered one of T-Pain aka the Monster from season 1’s songs

2. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: He was my favorite of the night with his rendition of Speechless by Dan + Shay! You guys know if you have seen my recaps in season 3 (or even last week with Robopine) that I have a soft spot for a guy who has a super silky voice, like either boy band type or R&B smooth af kinda vibe (i.e. Fox in season 2, Turtle in season 3, Robopine in season 5).... or should I say any guy who can falsetto and Piglet is giving me those boy band smooth vibes, I love it so much! His voice is soooo familiar I am so sure about this one by the way.

My guess and I am so sure of this is:

Nick Lachey

Reasoning/Clues: This one I recognized immediately, the voice was really easy to figure out, but these clues also are pretty convincing (oh and he was on Ken’s show, I Can See Your Voice, so it’s not surprising that he would be on this show):

The clue package had a dating show vibe = reminiscent of Love is Blind, the Netflix dating show he hosts with his wife Vanessa

The world saw his heart break= he had a very public relationship with his ex-wife Jessica Simpson and they even had a reality show together called Newlyweds

Cluedle-doo clue: “knows how to stay cool even in the heat”= referring to his past aka his boy band 98 degrees (get it? Because that’s the heat and they are cool because they are a boy band... well played Masked Singer well played... I wanna meet whoever makes these clues because they are great with puns and they seem super clever)

3. Chameleon 🦎

Commentary: Chameleon surprised me I am not gonna lie. I thought he was going to be another athlete like Whatchamacallit last season or White Tiger from season 3 because he was so tall but nope he surprised me with his rendition of Ride with Me by Nelly. He seems like a legit rapper and I liked him a lot than I thought I would honestly so this guess isn’t totally out of left field.

My guess is that this is...

Wiz Khalifa

Reasoning/Clues: so yeah, the voice and the height kinda gave it away to me (Wiz is 6 foot 4 inches and his body type matches the chameleon), but also yeah clues I have to give you guys some logic bombs instead of being like eh that voice and height BOOM WIZ KHALIFA... yeah no it doesn’t work like that, so here are the logic bombs hehe:

Dice with 2 and 3 on it= he did a song with Miley Cyrus called 23

007 clue= he has a song called (yes this is real, look it up) James Bong (omg I am trying not to laugh while typing this but whatttt?! Google really is a gem omg 😳😂) and he played James Bond in the music video

His love of technology & “put tech in technicolor”= apparently, the guy is a huge tech geek and has said it in a lot of interviews (wow humans are so complex and cool, I would have never thought that this man is a tech savvy guy... but the more you know I guess <P.S. I Googled half of these things... like idk this off the top of my head duh, I usually go by voice with my guesses and then I google the clues>)

4. Grandpa Monster

Commentary: He sang Mambo No. 5 and yeah it’s a basic choice for a song, but I liked it. He is not my favorite by any means and now that I listen to it again, I can only hear this person and I am not a fan of him like whatsoever (even tho I gotta acknowledge he has changed and I have *I KNOW... I HATE ME TOO* agreed with stuff he has said in his podcast un ironically.... yeah I am so sorry, I hate myself for saying this too... anyways let’s just get to the person I mean

I have a sneaking suspicion that it is (unfortunately):

Logan Paul

Reasoning/Clues: Yup, um... I really hope I am wrong but honestly ever since someone said it in the YouTube comments section of his performance, I can’t un hear it and I am shook honestly (at least it’s not his brother... I mean we can get worse, and he has respected the pandemic and not been a prick like his *cough* brother *cough*... just saying.. oh and if you don’t know what I am talking about or who this is, he’s a YouTuber who got into some um controversy because he filmed a dead body in 2018 so there’s that... oh and his brother has done a billion worse things than him, but you can Google that one if you are interested in finding out more because it’s too much for me to talk about and we are not even talking about Jake (that’s the brother))... Anyways, sorry, I ramble, but ugh the clues seem convincing and it irks me that it is because I am not a fan of neither of these guys and I don’t want them in the show but whatever I guess he’s the lesser of 2 evils:

He was a troublemaking fool as a youngster= yeah probably regarding that suicide forest video a couple of years ago (that ok, lemme give him credit, he has apologized for it and has kind of proven himself... yuck I hate saying that, I am NOT defending him I swear)

Acting out for all eyes on me= he used to be very well known for pranks on his channel back in the day (before the incident) and he did some stupid stuff for clout lemme tell ya (I never liked these guys, like ever, I thought they were weird.... not my demographic I guess, I wasn’t 12 nor a boy)

6 in Xs and Os like football plays = he did play football 🏈 in high school, he was so good that and actually attributes playing football for long term brain damage he has that makes him as the Wikipedia article says it (I am legit gonna quote what it says because I thought it was fascinating) “affects his ability to have empathy and a human connection with others.” (Mind you, he himself claimed this according to this article)

“Acting out”= he has acted in a few things before and starred in The Thinning

Web with the shooting star= he is a web star, get it? YouTube... web star... hehe again these clue writers are *chef’s kiss*

Cluedle-doo clue: he has trained for battle= now his new thing is boxing and he has trained for actual fights before, his first one being against British YouTuber KSI which he lost... oh and I almost forgot, how can I forget this cute little detail.... he is set to fight Floyd Mayweather this summer apparently... OH AND DID I MENTION HE IS MAKING 5 MILLION DOLLARS FROM THIS DEAL?! He’s winning either way with this fight like damn... but that wasn’t part of it, I just thought it was trippy... again I say, Google is a gem, u find some interesting reads

Ok so that’s it (what a great note to end on lol)! I hope you guys enjoy! Sorry for it being so long and taking so much time to do.. it’s been a crazy last couple of days! I will try to get the next one this upcoming weekend so I’ll see you guys then. (Ohhh btw I now live tweet the show on my Twitter- @photolover82 so if you want to follow me on there and live tweet with me, that can be fun!) Bye guys and don’t forget to like, comment, and do all the social media-y things, you know the drill!

#the masked singer #themaskedsinger #celebrities #music #the masked singer season 5 #hollywood #caitlyn jenner

[braincoins]

10 . 16 .23 . 38. 52

Okay, okay, I’m awake now. LET’S DO THIS THING! [rubs hands together]

10. What shoe size are you? Wow, I didn’t expect that question in there. I really didn’t! I know I sent you some to answer, but I just kind of scan for questions that jump out at me and are interesting. 

I’m tempted to quote Steel Magnolias and leave it at that (”In a good shoe, I wear a size 6, but a 7 feels so good, I buy a size 8.” “They’re 8 and a halfs.” “PERFECT!”), but that seems like a cop out. SEEMS like it, but honestly? I usually am an 8.5 (US women’s sizes which is a 39 in EU sizes).

16. Favorite movie?  Ooooooooooh, both my favorite and least favorite question of all time! Because it’s so hard to just pick one!! Um, Aliens for sure. The Princess Bride. The first Matrix. (Well, The Matrix, but you know what I mean.) 1776. Frozen (again, the first one). Little Shop of Horrors, Event Horizon, and Anna and the Apocalypse is moving its way up the charts. 

Sci-fi horror, musicals, animation, for the most part. 

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? At cons, sure. I’ve stood in line for autographs from Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, Tress MacNeille, Jamie Bamber, Phil Foglio, Wil Wheaton, Felicia Day, Sandeep Parikh, Jeff Lewis, Robin Thorsen, Nathan Fillion, Sir Patrick Stewart, Bruce Campbell, Ron Glass, Edward James Olmos, Mira Furlan, and Mark Sheppard. Got a picture taken with the Dead Gentlemen and got their autographs on my copy of The Gamers and on a The Gamers: Dorkness Rising poster. Got autographed sketches from Lars De Souza and Kaja Foglio. And I’ve emailed a little bit with Mike McMahan, creator of “Star Trek: Lower Decks” and had a quick online chat with Kimberly Brooks. Haven’t paid extra for any meet-and-greets because I am an extremely anxious fangirl who will make a fool out of herself.

Turns out if you pay money (for con badge and autograph fees), it’s actually really easy to meet celebs and get their autographs (and then, if you’re like me, cradle the freshly-autographed glossy carefully as you run off to squee and fall apart).

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Well, it wasn’t entirely without sleep, but... I had heard about this show, “The Walking Dead.” It sounded awesome af. Pengy asked me to go wait in line for him to buy whatever the latest tech toy was that he wanted, and while I was there, I noticed a season 1 set of TWD. So I grabbed that, too. I was so excited to get home and start watching.

I watched the pilot. It was every bit as good as I’d hoped... and it also terrified the shit out of me. I spent a good 3 days sleeping in bits and pieces. I think I got a few hours tops in that time. Every sound had me convinced there were zombies coming down the hall to get me, and I simply could not look out the apartment peephole. O_O 

If you want to get technical, I know I’ve made it past 24 hours without any sleep at all, but I don’t think I’ve gone all the way to 48. 

52. Favorite food? Ohhhhh the favorites strike again! Um. I want to say things like “hibachi filet and shrimp” or whatever, but, lbr: it’s pizza. It’s pepperoni pizza. 

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well

#wildestheart4ever

[lynelovespopculture]

THE CHILLING ADVENTURES OF ZELDA-CHAPTER 18-THE BREAKING POINT AS THE MORTALS AROUND THEM GROW MORE OBSESSED WITH WITCHES, THE SPELLMANS START TO FEEL THE PRESSURE.

After the announcement of the play, the rest of the day was pretty much shot. After school, Faustus had more work to do so Cordelia took the bus home.  She sighed as she opened and closed the front door. “I said no.” Zelda’s voice came from the kitchen. “Mom, you are never going to believe this,” Cordelia muttered as she dropped her backpack onto a chair, entered the kitchen, and froze. For Zelda was not alone. “Look, Lilith,” Zelda said through gritted teeth. “You came here to ask me a question and I have answered you. I said no and it’s staying no!” “But I need you!” Lilith insisted. “We both know that you’re the best of the best. Besides, as the queen of hell, I can simply command you.” “Oh no, you can’t!” Zelda held her ground. “In fact, as I recall the last time I asked for your help, you told me that since I was not a part of hell’s court and was no longer a member of the church of night or the church of Lilith, that I was an outsider and you were under no obligation to help me.” Lilith knew she was losing her case but she continued pleading regardless. “It won’t be like last time. I promise! Lucifer is still inside that council member, still very much locked up. The minion and I check on him often. I swear it won’t be like last time.” “I know it won’t,” Zelda agreed “because this time I’m not getting myself or my family involved.” Meanwhile, Cordelia stood silently in the corner, confused over this exchange. Lucifer? Queen of hell? What the heaven did this all mean?  Cordelia was pretty sure she knew the woman who was fighting with her mother but didn’t know from where. “Please Zelda,” Lilith continued.  “Adam was just so sweet when I told him 3 weeks ago.  He insisted we return to the surface and get married at the courthouse that very day. Nothing like when Zander was born.” That was it! Cordelia suddenly remembered that this Lilith was the happy bride she saw when she and Faustus were driving past city hall on that 1st day of school. “Cordelia!” Lilith purred, bring the child back to the here and now by sliding a hand under her chin and studying her.  “What a lovely young lady you’ve become.” “Thank you,” Cordelia said, unsure.  “Um, have we met?” “Only briefly, a long time ago. But I hope we’ll get to know each other better in the future. Since you and my son are- “ “Lilith! If you say 1 more word, you’ll be returning to hell in a body cast!” Zelda threatened. Cordelia looked on as Lilith coolly shrugged and then walked out the front door before she turned back to her mother. “Who was that, Mom?” “No one you need to concern yourself with. Now, please go fetch your brother and Ambrose. Supper is almost ready.” Cordelia knew her mother’s tone and knew even she asked again, she wouldn’t get any real answers so she turned on her heel and went to get the boys.

Faustus didn’t remember the last time he was this tired. After closing the door, he rested against it for a moment, before tossing his car keys onto a nearby side table.  The house was quiet and dark, which was no surprise considering how late it was. Faustus yawned deeply as he made his way upstairs. On the second floor, the only light led him to his room, where Zelda was sitting up in bed, paperwork all around her. He came forward and kissed Zelda’s welcoming smile. “Hello, my beautiful reason for existing.” Zelda’s smile only grew bigger as she kissed her husband back. “I was expecting you late tonight once Cordy told me about the play.” “Ah, so you’re all caught up?” “Unfortunately, yes.” Faustus gave a little nod, then took off his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt, as he crossed to the room to the chest of drawers that held his night clothes.   “I’m sorry I didn’t call, my love, but it’s hard to make a phone call in the middle of an argument.” “And who were you arguing with?” “Principal Hopper,” Faustus sighed. “I spent 4 and a half hours trying to convince him to put on a different play, any other play! I tried any excuse I could come up with. All in vain, the play will go on as planned. The only good news is that they can’t force Cordy to perform in the play, but since this is a grade 7-8 production, she’ll have to  work backstage somehow.” Faustus explained to his wife on his way to the bathroom. “I had an interesting day too,” Zelda called out as she collected her paperwork off the bed. “Oh?” “You will never believe who came to see me today-Lilith.” Zelda couldn’t help but smile as her shocked husband appeared in the doorway.  His mouth foaming with toothpaste, the brush just dangling.   After he went back and rinsed, Faustus returned to the bedroom. “Lilith, eh?  Haven’t heard that name in this house in a couple of years.” “I had hoped to keep it that way,” Zelda muttered. “So, how is the queen of hell?” “Newly pregnant by her mortal husband, Adam. She asked me to serve as her mid-wife.” Faustus lifted an eyebrow. “What? Again? After what she put this family through last time, I’m surprised she even had the nerve to ask.” “Thank you!” Zelda exclaimed.  “That’s exactly what I said! But she wouldn’t take no for an answer and even after I refused her, she followed me home from the academy and I couldn’t make her leave until after Cordelia came home from school. She even hinted at the odd marriage pact again.” “Don’t worry, dearest. Even if Lilith did keep that damn contract, with no signature, it’s not valid.” Zelda smiled. “It seems you have given this matter some thought.” Faustus shut off his bedside lamp and got into bed. “I’ll admit that I might have brought the case up to Daniel Webster once or twice. Besides, if Lilith is hurting for female company, I know a nosy, moral bitch she can have right now.” Zelda chuckled as she made herself comfortable in Faustus’s arms. “I assume we are now speaking of Nina Robinson.  Is she still giving you trouble?” “Nothing but!” Faustus then told Zelda all about Nina’s absurd behavior from that morning. “I just can’t get rid of this woman! I can’t get any work done either. I finally had to pretend that I was going home, drove around the block, and finally had to hide in a broom closet just to get my work done. It’s pathetic! Oh, and all this was after she undermined me at every turn during that meeting with Hopper.” It was then that Zelda realized something. “Why go to Principal Hopper at all? Why not talk to Theo? He would be more understanding.” Faustus nodded. “That was my 1st idea too but he took off early for a long weekend with Robin. I’ll ask him on Monday,   beloved, and see if he can deal  with Hopper.” Soon after, Zelda fell asleep in Faustus’s arms, her head on his shoulder. Faustus himself was half asleep when he realized something. He and Zelda were still passionate lovers. Making love more times a week than not. But tonight, the topic was not even bought up and that was okay.  Faustus had sensed that Zelda was tired. Did she sense he was too? It was like they could communicate without words. After 13 years of marriage, he had obtained something with Zelda that Faustus never had with any other woman; true intimacy. He vowed that no one would ever take that away.

Turns out Faustus didn’t get the chance to talk to Theo about the play or anything else. Early on Monday morning, even before the 1st-morning bell, Theo slipped and fell on the floor. Bruising his neck and breaking his leg in 3 places. Theo had to take leave.

Cordelia sighed and sat back. “Dad, you’re killing me!” It was Monday evening and Cordelia sat at the kitchen table with her homework while Faustus stood a few feet away, finishing washing the dinner dishes.  Zelda had just left to do a bed check at the academy. “What’s wrong, honey?” Faustus asked. “You know what’s wrong.” His daughter frowned. “I’m the first 1 up tomorrow to read my family tree essay in front of the whole class. What were you thinking when you handed out this assignment.” “I was thinking that we all have families and all the class could share in it. So, what’s wrong? Isn’t your essay finished?” “Oh, it’s finished, all right,” said Cordelia. “And come tomorrow morning everyone in grades 7 and 8 will know that I’m descended from nothing but witches and warlocks. There’s not a mortal in the bunch, well, except for Sabrina, of course. So I figure if I read my essay at 10:15, they should be burning me at the stake on the school’s front lawn by 10:30.” Faustus rolled his eyes and wiped his hands on a towel. “Don’t be overdramatic, Cordy.  Bring your essay over here please.” Cordelia got up from the table and, with the pile of papers, went over to her father. Once Faustus had the papers in his hands, he spoke in Latin and for a moment, the essay glowed bright orange before he gave it back. “There.” “What did you do?” “I fixed it.  Now, the word witch is replaced with the word countess and a warlock is now an earl. It should read just as well.” Cordelia raised an eyebrow.  “You spelled my homework?! You’ve never done that before.” “Don’t get any ideas, Cordy. It’s only a 1-time thing. To keep us all safe.” Faustus took another look around the room to see if anything else needed to be cleaned. He saw a book on the table.  Faustus didn’t even need to move to know that it was the novel called ‘the witch’. The book Nina had assigned for English.  He gestured with his head. “How is that?” “Very odd,” Cordelia answered. “And it’s certainly fiction.” “What makes you say that?”   Cordelia walked back to the table and picked up the book, flipping through the pages. “This is a direct quote, ‘A witch is always a woman…There  is no such thing as a  male witch.’” Cordelia put down the book, frowned. “Now we both know that’s not true.” “The author is a man, right?” Faustus shrugged. “Sound like someone is trying to shift blame.” Cordelia had not thought of that, but the thought did make her smile. Faustus was right. Cordelia’s essay went over well the next day.   She actually felt good about it and managed to hold on to the positive feelings until the mid-morning break. The class was just letting out when a secretary posted something on a nearby bulletin board. It was a signup sheet for play auditions, starting that very afternoon. The triplets and Sara were the first to sign up, then they handed the pen to Cordelia. Cordelia took a step back. “No, thanks.” Erin frowned. “What’s wrong, Cord?” “Nothing, I would just prefer to work backstage.” Erica lifted an eyebrow.  “Since when are you shy?” “See? I told you guys that she  would see herself to be too good for our play.” Sara cut in. “I didn’t say that!” Cordelia snapped. It was Emily who tried to keep the peace.  “But the 5 of us always do everything together.” No, Cordelia thought angrily. The 4 of us always used to do everything together. Sara just showed up a month ago. As Cordelia dealt with her friends, Faustus stood in the classroom doorway when a smiling Nina walked up to him. “I’m glad we’re co-directing this play. It will give us more time together.” Faustus held her skin as she tried to hold his hand. Wordlessly, he just sighed and walked away. Great. More time with Nina Robinson, exactly what he didn’t want.

The rest of the school week was filled with play rehearsals and family tree presentations. Being from the same family, the triplets were allowed to present their essay together. On Friday, it was time for Sara to read her essay. Cordelia didn’t care to pay attention so she picked up a pencil and did some math. So she was only half-listening when Sara said, “Turns out I’m descended from a judge from the Salem witch trials.” Cordelia dropped her pencil and buried her face into her palm. Of course, Sara’s family was from Salem. Of course, they freakin’ were! 20 minutes later, the class clapped as Sara finished her report. “Sickening,” Cordelia muttered. “Do you have a problem with my report, Cordelia?” “Yes, I believe  I do. I understand that you can’t choose your family or where you come from but you spoke so proudly of your relatives from Salem.” Sara shrugged. “Maybe I am.” Cordelia got up and went up to Sara. “You’re proud to be related to a man whose job it was to murder people?!” “It was his job. His civil duty.” “It’s still murder!” Cordelia insisted. “Calm down, will you?” Sara asked. “It’s not like witches are real people.” “Miss Spellman,” Nina finally stepped in. “Please return to your seat.  Sara was nice enough to listen to your report.” Cordelia’s hand curled up in a fist, but only Faustus saw it and covered it with his own as he whispered into his daughter’s ear.  “You have every reason to be upset. But she finished now, the worst is over.

Yet, it wasn’t. The following Tuesday afternoon, during English class, everyone was asked to hand in their novel, Witches, and their notes about it. Cordelia, for one, was glad to be rid of it. But then, Nina rolled in a TV and DVD player. “Now I know that they just did a remake of this movie but the 1991 version will work just as well.” Faustus allowed his 7th graders to watch the movie as well. It was a little silly yet seemingly harmless. Until the so-called ‘witches’ met in a hotel ballroom, locked the doors, and took off their faces-which were all rubber masks. Now all the normal-looking women looked like wrinkled old crones. Except the 1 they called the grand high witch. To call her a wrinkled old crone would be an insult to old crones! 1 moment, she was a lovely woman, the next, a monster. She had little white hairs growing out of every part of her body except on her head. Her spotty skin could have seen on her back which was as uneven as her very long nose. Her ears were large and bat-like and her eyes were not of this world. It happened so fast and cause such shock that it caused Faustus’s mouth to fall open. As soon as the shock wore off, Faustus looked for Cordelia. “Oh no.” He saw that look in his daughter’s eyes before and he doubted that a mere TV and a DVD player set stood a chance against the divine child. Only the kids in the front room saw the glass on the screen crack but everyone saw when the golden sparks flew from the television. Then the TV went black. A moan from the hallway instantly told Faustus that the power had gone out all over school. A boy looked out the window and remarked, “Hey, looks like there’s a blackout all over town!” Meanwhile, without asking permission or bothering with a hall pass, Cordelia got up and left. Faustus rushed after her. “Cordelia!” Faustus entered the hallway just in time to see his daughter duck into the girls’ room. He went in with caution but when he was sure no one else was there, he locked the door. In the last stall, Faustus noticed that there was fresh vomit in the toilet and a white foot coming out of the wall.  Faustus gently nudged the foot with his own and the shoe color returned and the rest of his daughter emerged from the wall. Faustus tried to keep things light. “You have to work on your hiding spells.” However, Cordelia would have none of it. Her face was bright red, and there were plump, hot tears fresh on her cheeks. “Is that how they see us?” She asked. “That we all are evil, gruesome creatures who are out to murder foul-smelling mortal children?” “Oh, honey.” Faustus grabbed a bunch of toilet paper before he sat down and drew Cordelia into his lap, just like he did when she was little. “Darling, you know that’s not true. That was a stupid movie based on a book by a writer, who as you told me yourself doesn’t believe in male witches.” “No.” She insisted as Faustus wiped her tears. “A book can be 1 person’s opinion but it takes a whole lot of people to make a movie.” “You’re right, but that movie has nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with us. And I can prove it.” Cordelia put her head on Faustus’s shoulder. “You can?” He nodded. “The main character is called the Grand High Witch.  You and I both know that there is no such title. The highest title in a coven is a high priest or a high priestess. Speaking of your mother, she is 100% witch but she is also a great beauty as well as a professional midwife and teacher. 2 jobs directly related to children, who she would never hurt.” “But why do mortals do this? Why are witches always the bad guy?” “Hmm, good question.” Said Faustus. “I think it’s a paradox. Mortals love to be scared, yet mortals fear the unknown. So they put all their fears in these characters and called them witches. The mortals who don’t believe think there isn’t anyone to offend and even those who do believe, don’t realize that we have our own faith, our own laws, and society, our own world and therefore, have no need or desire to steal theirs.” “You’re really smart, you know that Dad?” “Thank you.” Faustus looked at his watch. “We should be getting back.” “No, I can’t. I can’t go back in there.” “There’s a blackout. I’m pretty sure that means no more movie for today.” “But they’ll still be talking about it.” Cordelia pointed out. “I’m telling you Dad, I have reached my limit for now.” Faustus sighed. “Okay, since there are only 20 minutes of school left for today, go lay down in the nurses’ station, and then we’ll go home.” Cordelia’s half-smile made them both feel a little bit better.

The pre-teen witch wasn’t the only 1 having a bad week. The triplets were understandingly upset when their father moved out of the family home earlier in the week. To cheer her girls and herself up, Mrs. Warner bought tickets to a magic show and because the show was on the day before the girls’ monthly sleepover, she got 2 extra tickets for Cordelia and Sara. They were even invited to sleepovers on Friday night as well as on Saturday. The magic show took place in a nearby town, so they showed up early and decided to browse the local shops. It was there that Cordelia got the feeling that she was being followed and she was right. The boy followed Cordelia as she and her friends went from shop to shop. However, he lost sign of Cordelia when the others approached the theater and he hid in an alleyway. “Why are you following me?” The boy turned to an annoyed Cordelia behind him, her arms crossed. “I have gotten so tired of Mother and Adam acting so lovey dovely all the damn time so I decided to come to the surface and visit you. Mother was right.  You are pretty.” He tried to touch her face, but Cordelia dodged him. “Hold on there! ‘Visiting’ would imply that we know each other. I’ve never seen you before in my life.” The boy seemed genuinely puzzled. “I’m Alexander Morningstar, the crowned prince of hell.” Something clicked in Cordelia’s mind. “You’re Lilith’s son?” “Yes, and you may call me Zander if you like. Now, I have a question for you. Why are you and those other witches from your coven going to see a mortal magic show? Don’t you know that stuff is all smoke and mirrors?” “Well, my friends are mortals so- “ Zander looked horrified. “You associate with mortals? Willingly? That must stop. It’s unbecoming for the future queen of hell.” Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “Did you just call me the future queen of hell? How on earth do you figure that?” “Well, we are betrothed, so obviously when I become king- “ “Hold on, did you just say betrothed? As in engaged? You’re crazy!  I’m only 12!” “So am I but it’s not up to us. It was all arranged by my mother and your parents when we were just infants.” Cordelia shook her head. “Now I know you’re lying. My parents would never do that to me.” Before Zander could respond, a voice called out. “Cordelia? Where are you?” “Coming, Mrs. Warner!” “Are those mortals bothering you? I could kill them for you if you like.” “No! You are not going to kill my friends! Go home to your mother!”  Cordelia ordered. “Don’t walk away from me!” “Go!” Zander flew through the air and hit the wall at the end of the alleyway.  “You have got to learn to control your divine powers.” Yet, Cordelia was already gone.

Faustus loved making love to his wife. In fact, he could make love to Zelda morning, noon, and night and still crave more of her. Therefore, he had no objection when Zelda woke him up early on Saturday morning and began to make love to him. They were both breathing heavily when she rolled off of him. “See? I told you I always get my man.” Faustus was shocked and horrified to see Zelda transform into Nina. “NO!” Faustus screeched as he sat up in bed. “Darling? What is it? What’s wrong?” Faustus turned to see the real Zelda lying beside him and he felt his lip begin to tremble.  “Darling, I’m been unfaithful!” “What?!” It was now Zelda’s turn to jolt up in bed. She was angry, but only for a moment until Faustus explained about his dream. Then she smiled and shook her head.   “Faustus, my darling, how many times must we go through this? It was only a dream and dreams don’t mean anything.” “I know! I know!”  Faustus muttered. “But why did it had to be about Nina Robinson? I don’t want that woman anywhere near my mind, this house and certainly not our bed!   It’s bad enough that I can’t escape that woman during the day! We share the same classroom, now we’re forced to codirect that damn play together. In fact, there’s another rehearsal this afternoon, so- “ “So, no wonder she’s on your mind. But mortals do not use glamour spells so it’s unlikely   your dream will come true.” “It was more like a nightmare,”  Faustus muttered. Soon Zelda had calmed her husband and as they lay side by side, Faustus wondering why Zelda was suddenly silent.  “Penny dreadful for your thoughts, my love?” “This is going to seem like an odd question since we had our own affair, but why was it that once you cheated on Constance left, right, and sideways without the slighted hint of guilt but you seemed ready to cry at the mere thought of being unfaithful to me?” “I wasn’t loyal to Constance because I never felt that I need to. Yes, we were married, but as you know, she was not my choice. At the wedding, I was just saying words, not vows.  With you, it’s the exact opposite. I’ve loved you since I was 16.  Your name is carved on my heart. I have spent years, decades dreaming, yearning to be your husband and the father of our children. Now, that Hecate has seen fit to bless me with all I could desire if I ever lost you for my own stupid, avoidable actions, I would never be able to forgive myself. I think that’s why these dreams freak me out so much. It’s not just about me having affairs, it really hurts that because of that damn curse that I can’t trust myself not to hurt you. I hate that.” “Then it’s a good thing that I trust you whole heartily,”  Zelda said softly before she kissed him. During the kiss, they could hear whining and scratching at the door.  “What’s wrong, Tom? You want out?” Zelda got out of bed and patted her familiar before she opened the door to let the dog out and then     Zelda got an idea, took off her underwear, and returned to the bed.   “You know, Faustus,” Zelda said as she slowly undid the cord of her husband’s PJs pants and exposed his manhood. “what I think you need right now is a good detraction.” Zelda kissed him deeply as she climbed on top of him. She broke the kiss only long enough to yank her nightgown over her head. As they reached their shared climax, Zelda moaned and bent back as Faustus left a trail of kisses from her stomach to her rib cage. “Feeling better?” Zelda smiled at him in the afterglow. Faustus smiled back. “After such a sweet distraction, how can’t I?” “Good.” Zelda leaned over and kissed him deeply again. It took everything Faustus had to stop her. “Dearest, you know I want this, but if we are missed at breakfast, they might come up here.” “Faustus, there is no ‘they’ to miss us. Cordy still at the Warners, Jake, and Ambrose decided to go with Dr. Cerberus to something called a comic a con.” Faustus propped himself on his elbow. “Are you saying that we have the house all to ourselves? That never happens! Well, the heaven with breakfast,” Zelda laughed as Faustus rolled onto her, pinning her arms down. “I say we celebrate!” Her husband declared. And boy, did they celebrate!  They made love for hours. They even felt like breaking out their old toys, the whips, chains, and the cat of 9 trails. Faustus laid back, sighing contently when he noticed that Zelda was up and reaching for her robe. “Where do you think you’re going?” “Downstairs,” Zelda answered. “It’s almost 2 p.m. and we’ve missed breakfast and lunch, I’m hungry. Besides, I need to keep my strength up for the 2nd round.” “In that case, I’ll come with you.” Down in the kitchen, Zelda and Faustus talked, laughed, and flirted as they made a meal together. Zelda chuckled as Faustus kissed her behind her ear as she stirred the pot. They both looked up as a knock came at the front door. “I’ll get it.” Faustus was in great spirits, however, he lost his smile as soon as he opened the door. “Faustus, baby!” “Mrs. Robinson, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?” “Oh Faustus, how many times do I have to tell you? You don’t have to be so formal? Just call me Nina.” “And how many times do I have to tell you? If there was a more formal way to call you than Mrs. Robinson, I would call you that. Now, what do you want?” Faustus demanded. Nina looked around before asking. “Where’s Cordelia?” “At a friend’s house.” “Great.” Before Faustus could figure out what was happening, Nina had stepped forward, grabbed him, and kissed him. Faustus struggled for a second before finally pushing her away. “What on earth are you doing?!” “Your daughter is in our class. I finally figured out that you don’t want Cordelia to tell your wife about us. That’s why you pretend not to like me at school.” For the love of Hecate! Faustus rolled his eyes. “I’m not pretending anything! I don’t like you. I never liked you and I never will like you.” They talked more and hearing voices, Zelda came out of the kitchen.  She could only see Nina from behind. “Can I help you?” Nina turned. “Yes. You can leave us alone.” Nina only got madder when Zelda came to join them. “Faustus, tell your employee to give us some privacy.” Faustus put an arm around Zelda.  “This isn’t my employee. This is Zelda, my wife.” Nina pointed. “This is Zelda…but I’m so prettier than her.” “No, all you are is rude,” Faustus grabbed Nina’s arm and guided her out the door. “You’re also out of    here.” Faustus shut the door in her face. Nina went down 4 steps when the door opened. “You can handle this afternoon’s rehearsal by yourself, right?” Faustus asked. “I suddenly feel very    sick.” He made a lame attempt at a fake cough and slammed the door again.

“Look, I’m not saying I don’t think the play is not good or anything. I just don’t think it’s great yet.” Sara said. Cordelia felt like screaming. Last night’s magic show had been fun, once she was able to put that odd boy and his crazy comments out of her mind. By the time they were back in Greendale, it was too late to do anything but sleep. The morning seemed peaceful enough she supposed, but the play rehearsal this afternoon took hours. Somehow, on the walk back to the Warner house, the subject of the Greendale 13 came up. Sure enough, right after supper, Cordelia followed her friend back into the cold October night to go visit Mary Wardwell. Cordelia wasn’t happy at all to see the very woman who shot and nearly killed her own mother. They finally stop talking about Greendale 13, only to start talking about the play again! Sara lit up. “I just got a great idea. I mean it, I’m a total genius! We should go to Salem ourselves. I mean, we should take the whole class on a field trip. To really understand the play.” “You’re right, that’s a great idea!” “Yeah, we should totally go to Salem!” “Cool!” Cordelia felt very uncomfortable as all eyes looked at her. “Um, I got to pee.” She grabbed her PJs and ran down the hallway to the bathroom. “Calm down,” Cordelia told herself in the mirror. “No one is going to Salem. They’re just thinking out loud.” After taking 5 minutes to calm down and get undressed, Cordelia returned to the triplet’s bedroom to find all the other girls on their phones. “What are you guys doing?” Cordelia asked. “We’re looking up how to get to Salem. Look guys, it says Salem is just 7 hours away by car.” So much for just thinking out loud. “Look, guys, I don’t think a field trip to Salem is such a good idea.  If it takes 7 hours to get there, it would take 7 more to get back.  That’s 14 hours in travel alone and suddenly we’re on an overnight trip. Given that the play is next Friday, I don’t think we have the time to fundraise enough.” “Typical Cordelia, always with the negative,” Sara muttered. “Oh, shut up, Sara!” “Lay off, Sara,” defended Erin. “She has been a better friend to us than you’re ever been!” “Why?!”  demanded a hurt Cordelia. “Just because I didn’t want to act in a stupid play?” Emily spoke up.  “Excuse you, but we chose that play!” Cordelia crossed her arms. “Why do I get the feeling that Sara picked the play and the 3 of you just went along with it because the longer we know Sara, the more you’re turning into sheep.  If I’m right, it begs the question, why would a self-proclaimed Wiccan chose a play about the Salem witch trials?” “’ Self-proclaimed?  It’s like you don’t believe me.” “I don’t. In fact, I think you’re lying about the whole thing.” Cordelia had to raise her voice against the triplets’ outcry. “Name 1 magical thing you’ve done since moving to Greendale.” Sara looked Cordelia right in the eye and said “I summoned the fear demon.” You remembered. Cordelia thought as the triplets showered Sara with awe. The fight continued for another hour, with raised voices and hot tempers. “Enough, I can’t stand this anymore!” Erin finally said. “Cordelia, I think it’s time you leave.” “What? Why me?” “Because you’re the 1 who started this fight.” Cordelia didn’t know about that but she was aware of the time. “You really want me to leave? Now? It’s 10:30 at night. I live across town; Sara lives down the street. Why doesn’t she leave?” No one said anything. Cordelia saw all the girls frowning all at once. Cordelia didn’t know what to think, but she knew the triplets had never thrown her out before. “Fine!” Cordelia stood up and swallowed back her tears. “I’m not going to stay anywhere where I’m not welcome.” Cordelia got redressed and gathered up her things before leaving the house. She secretly wished 1 of the triplets were stop her but no one did. Once the front door closed, Cordelia took out her phone and called Zelda. “Mom? The triplets threw me out. Can you come to pick me up please?” “Oh, Cordy. Your father and I are not home right now and- “ “Mom? Mom?!” Cordelia realized her phone was dead just as it started to drizzle.  “Just  perfect!” Seeing no other choice, Cordelia flipped up her neck collar and then drew the jean jacket closer to her body and ran all 5 blocks to Dr. C’s bookstore. The shop had been closed for hours, so the preteen took a detour and knocked as she could on the steel back door. She gave a huge sigh of relief when Hilda answered the door. “Thank Hecate, you’re here! I’m sorry for disturbing you this late, aunt Hil, but I didn’t know where else to go. The girls and I had a huge fight, the triplets threw me out of their house, but I don’t blame them, blame Sara. Now they’re talking about going to Salem. I can’t get a hold of Mom because my phone died and- and- “Cordelia burst into tears. Hilda hugged her niece close and then ushered her inside. After a quick phone call, Hilda discovered that Zelda was at the movies, in the middle of a double feature with Faustus and Sabrina. Hilda managed to convince her sister not to change her plans because Hilda wanted to spend some much overdue alone time with her night daughter. It was just after midnight that Cordelia put on her nightclothes for the 2nd time that evening. Since Dr. C was gone for the night, Hilda insisted that her niece share her bed for the night. The remote was on the bed so Cordelia jumped when she sat down and the TV turned on. “I’m sorry, Auntie H, I didn’t know the remote was on the bed.” “Oh, that’s okay, love. Looks like you literary just fell upon a classic, bewitched!” “Aw, the only witch show in pop culture that does make me want to scream, cry or throw up,” Cordelia said while getting under the covers. Hilda nodded. “You know every time I see this show, I think about your Uncle Edward and Aunt Diana.” “And a gender swap.” Hilda nodded. “Also, call me crazy, but little Tabitha always reminds me of Sabina as a baby.” Cordelia smiled, for she knew that there was a strong, powerful red-haired witch on the show. “Would that make Mom Endora?” The 2 witches looked at each other and laughed. It felt so good for Cordelia couldn’t remember how long ago she laughed so hard.

As hard as Cordelia laughed on Saturday night, she cried even harder on Wednesday afternoon. Zelda had to let her daughter cry on her shoulder for over an hour before Zelda got the full story. Apparently, Principal Hopper came in at the end of the day and announced that he had just discovered an envelope marked for the Salem trip on his desk had 5000 dollars in it. That, on top of parents’ donations, made the trip possible. They would travel on a deluxe bus and would be in Salem for 3 days and 2 nights. They would leave the day after tomorrow. It was unbelievable that this trip was put together in a mere 6 days. “I’m 12-year-old, Mom,” Cordelia said, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t want to die.” “You’re not going to die, Cordy.” “Your mother is right,” Faustus said, coming into Cordelia’s bedroom.  “I may have lost complete control of my classroom but I am still your father.  I say you’re not going to Salem and neither am I! That is final!”

It was final and none of the rest of the family ever bought up the subject. It was on Friday morning and in the middle of breakfast, Zelda looked around. “Where’s Cordelia? Her food is getting cold.” “I think she’s still in bed.” Said Jake. Faustus raised an eyebrow. “At this hour? You know your sister isn’t much for sleeping in. Even if she and I were excused from school today since the rest of the class left for Salem this morning.” “I know, but I bumped into her in the hall at 5 this morning. She was so excited to get a text from 1 of the triplets saying they didn’t want to leave without making up.” Faustus and Zelda exchanged a look. After their big fight, Cordelia and her friends hadn’t spoken in 5 days. The longest they ever went without speaking. When they did manage to talk yesterday, it only took Cordelia saying that she wasn’t going to Salem, to start the fighting again. “5 AM is pretty early and Cordy said she was going down to the school to talk to them for 10 minutes so that’s why I think she’s still asleep.” Jake continued. “I go get her.” “Thank you, Ambrose,”  Zelda said before turning back to the boys at the table. “We have to make this a fun and busy weekend for Cordy so she won’t think of the triplets or Salem too much.” “Sure, Mom.” Jake nodded as Faustus kissed his wife’s hand. A few minutes later, Ambrose rushed back in. “I’ve looked everywhere upstairs; I can’t find Cordelia. She’s gone!” “Gone?” “What do you mean she’s gone?!” “Hecate, no!” The 3 looked back to Faustus, who was now looking at his phone and had suddenly turned whiter than a ghost. “Darling, what is it?” “I just got an S.O.S text from Cordy. She’s stuck on that bus and it’s bound for Salem.”

#chilling adventures of sabrina #caoz #chapter 18 #fanfic #zelda spellman and faustus blackwood #spellwood #zelda spellman #faustus blackwood #hilda spellman #ambrose spellman #sabrina spellman #prudence blackwood #dr c #lilith #cordelia spellman #jake spellman #lj spellman #please comment #please reblog

[acidrain1698]

Tagged by @rougeminded. Thanks!

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions!  Don’t look at them first. Then tag some people.

Fairy Tail

Supernatural

Dexter

How I Met Your Mother

Teen Titans

Who's your favorite character in 2?

Oof, that's a hard one. I think I'm gonna go with Dean though. Cas is perfect, Bobby is amazing, Crowley is hilarious, Sam... has his moments. But Dean has my heart ❤❤

Who is your least favorite character in 1?

Ichiya. Guy creeps me out.

What is your favorite episode in 4?

Season 6, episode 22: The Perfect Cocktail. Shit's classic 😂😂😂

What is your favorite season in 5?

Nooooo don't make me choose! Maybe 4? Because it's about Raven, and it's a lot... darker than the other seasons? Ima go with 4.

Who is your favorite couple in 3?

DEX AND RITA ❤❤❤❤

What is your favorite episode of 1?

Fuck, that one's hard. Probably one of the filler episodes? Ooh, maybe... ah, I can't think of the name of it. The episode where Sting, Rogue, Yukino, and Lector follow Frosch through town to make sure he gets back to the guild safely? I really love that one. It's funny and cute, I love my twin dragon bois, and I wish they had more screen time ❤❤

What is your favorite episode of 5?

Uh... all of them. Every episode is amazing. But if I had to choose... Haunted, from season 3. It's waaaaay darker than most of the show, and I love me some angst. Aftershock part 2 is up there too, since I love seeing the retribution against Terra. Fucking hate that bitch, so I love seeing them kick her ass.

What is your favorite season of 2?

Haven't caught up yet, but so far... maybe 3 or 5? It's so hard to choose.

How long have you watched 1?

I started watching Fairy Tail the summer of 2012, when I moved to California. Watched the whole first season in a couple days, but that was all I could watch (easily, anyway), since that was all Funimation had licensed at that point, so I started reading the manga from where season 1 left off. Within a month or so, I caught up to where the story currently was, which was right before the fight between the dragon slayers in the GMG arc. I read the new chapter every week until it ended.

How did you become interested in 3?

Um... I think it was a show that my sister had been watching on TV, and when she got the first couple seasons on DVD, I ended up watching it with her. I'm pretty sure that's how it started.

Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Neil Patrick Harris. His character was a real piece of shit, but he played it so well, and I love Barney anyway. Definitely wouldn't want to know Barney in real life though. Because... yuck 😂😂

Which do you prefer: 1, 2, or 5?

If you're making me choose which one to watch one night, I'm definitely choosing Teen Titans. No question. Doesn't matter how many times I've seen it, doesn't matter that I can quote each episode from beginning to end, it's my favorite show of all time, and I'm gonna choose it over just about anything else ❤❤

If you could be anyone from 4, who would it be?

Ah... Robin? She's cool, has a good job (eventually), she's badass, was a teenaged popstar. She's a bro, and I wouldn't mind being her 😂😂

Pair two characters in 1; who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

Uh... I don't even know. I have so many obscure ships in the FT fandom that it's hard to think of an answer to this one. Maybe... Lucy and Levy? Very unlikely, but they'd be cute. They have a lot in common, they get along very well. Idk

Overall, which story has the best storyline, 3 or 5?

Well that's just rude. Dexter's storyline is so amazing and captivating, but... it really, really, really falls apart at the end, so I'm gonna give this one to Teen Titans.

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

Supernatural. Definitely. HIMYM tries waaay too hard to sound like a quirky sitcom, especially in the first couple seasons.

This one was really fun! I really enjoyed it! Tagging @nilya-naomi @akias-himeory @mazey-chan and whoever else wants to!

[fire-emblem-heroes-supports]

Summoner/F!Robin C-S Support

Written by  robluu321

C SUPPORT

F!Robin: Um, excuse me, (y/n).

(y/n): Uh?… Oh, Robin, good afternoon.

F!Robin: Good afternoon. Would you mind to answer me three questions I have?

(y/n): Sure. I may have work to do, but I’m not in a hurry. What do you want to know?

F!Robin: First… where did you learn your tactics?.

(y/n): Ah, that’s an easy one. Well, after I was summoned, I read a lot of books about military strategy… That’s how I learnt most of what I know about it.

F!Robin: Wait, so… you didn’t know anything about being a tactician before that?

(y/n): I had a little “experience”, I guess… since I played things called “video games”… but yeah. If we compare my knowledge now to my knowledge when I was in my world… there’s an abysmal difference. Part of the problem is, where I come from, magic does not exist.

F!Robin: Wow… weird… so you had to adapt to understand tactics with mages?

(y/n): Indeed. Honestly, all this stuff – dragons, magic, medieval life style… It’s all strange to me. There are legends and stories about it, but I never lived anything like this until now.

F!Robin: That brings up my next question. Many Heroes here say you describe stuff that we’ve never seen, many say you may be… um… crazy, and you just imagine them, actually… You said something about having played a… video… video game.

(y/n): It’s understandable. It’d be hard for anyone here to picture what a video game is, and I’d have a hard time myself explaining what it is. They don’t have to believe me if they don’t want to. The only way I could get you to understand would be to open a gateway to my world and bring back a video game and a console, or to bring you to my old house but… Well, I can’t do that.

F!Robin: That’s… convenient… but maybe it has something to do with my third questio Alfonse said you didn’t want to return to your own world… why?… don’t you have loved ones there?.

(y/n): I do. But opening a gateway to my world would be… Let’s say that, in my world, we have what we call… petroleum. It’s a mineral oil that we use for fuel, and very important for our economy. And… as you might suspect, it’s becoming rarer and rarer… I fear that if we open a gate, people would end up discovering Askr and come to steal its resources…

F!Robin: …Are you shaking?

(y/n): …Honestly, I am happier to be here… But you don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to. I guess that answers your three questions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.

F!Robin: Wait!… They left…

[(y/n) and F!Robin have reached support rank C.]

SUPPORT B

(y/n): If only I could understand this better… Damn.

F!Robin: (y/n)!

(y/n): Robin? What a surprise.

F!Robin: I still had another question. Please don’t run away this time.

(y/n): …What is it?.

F!Robin: Why did you say you were happier here than in your home world?

(y/n): Well… Here, I’m more important than I am at home… Unlike all of you Heroes, I’ve never fought an evil empire trying to conquer the world nor an evil dragon trying to destroy humanity… I was just a regular person, like any villager.

F!Robin: So you were like Donnel before he joined the Shepherds, and your life here is more exciting.

(y/n): Pretty much, yeah… Okay, now may I ask you something as well?

F!Robin: Of course. (y/n): I don’t wanna sound rude but… why are asking me so many questions?

F!Robin: Let’s say… I feel a special connection with you.

(y/n): Connection? What do you mean? F!Robin: I’m not sure… It’s just, we’re very similar in some aspects: we’re both tacticians, working along a blue haired prince who has a cute younger sister and wields a legendary sword, our clothes are similar… The fear you displayed when you talked about an army from your world… It’s similar to the fear I had when I faced Walhart and his men… and…

(y/n): And? F!Robin: And we both worry too much about others, to the point we overwork ourselves to ensure their safety. We also both prefer to stay with the friends we made along the way than to live the destiny we were suposed to live before our adventure began.

(y/n): I see… let me test ask you something else. Did you decide to kill Grima, despite knowing it would kill you as well, because you couldn’t have lived the rest of your life in peace? Because it would have been selfish? Because it might have allowed the future where Lucina came from to happen again?

F!Robin: …I’m just one woman… Chrom and all the others didn’t understand that. My life is nothing compared to many lifes.

(y/n): But life does not care for what we want or what makes us feel better. For what it’s worth, I think you made the right choice, Robin. Even if it was a hard decision. Remember this: the hardest choices require the strongest will.

F!Robin: …Thank you for being so understanding, (y/n).

(y/n): You’re welcome. I’m gonna have to cut our chat short though… I still have a lot of working to do.

F!Robin: Would you like some help?

(y/n): Haha. Yes, why not?

[(y/n) and F!Robin have reached support rank B.]

SUPPORT A

F!Robin: You know, when you said you had too much work to do, I thought you meant making tactics, but all these… the telescope, compass, thermometer… They are just wonderful.

(y/n): They truly are. A shame the vast majority of people would be unable to explain how they work, let alone build them.

F!Robin: That makes sense, I suppose… After all, I would be unable to build a ballista. So you really are from a completely different world, aren’t you?

(y/n): Mhm. Feels weird to live in a medieval setting.

F!Robin: What do you mean by medieval?

(y/n): A long time ago, my world was very similar to Askr or Ylisse. Well, without magic, pegasi, wyverns, dragons and all that stuff, of course.

F!Robin: Ah, that’s right, no magic. Then it must have been pretty difficult to do certain things, and I guess battles were more simple, only melee fights… (y/n): Oh, no, actually. In modern society, we have weapons that allow us to fight from a distance.

F!Robin: Like archers?

(y/n): Sort of? I guess you could think of such weapons as evolved bows and arrows… Wait, I think I can explain. You see how Breidablik works?

F!Robin: Yes. You load it with orbs and then you push that thing here, and it fires. Like a crossbow.

(y/n): Haha, I didn’t think about it, but it does work a bit like a crossbow. To me, it’s more similar to one of the weapons I just mentioned – a gun.

F!Robin: Interesting… So, instead of orbs, you’d load a “gun” with another kind of projectile. Similar to cannonballs, but smaller.

(y/n): Exactly. We call them bullets.

F!Robin: Um… Would have been pretty convenient if Breidablik could do that.

(y/n): Ha! Yeah… I could have headshoted Surtr or Veronica and we’d all be happy right now. Well, in theory.

F!Robin: Such efficient yet deadly new weapons… I can see why anyone from your world coming here with ill intentions would be worrisome.

(y/n): Yes… The mere idea this could happen makes me… makes me… urgh…

F!Robin: You’re trembling again. Are you okay?

(y/n): Yes, yes… Sorry. I worry too much, don’t I? After all, there’s no way this could happen. As long as I’m using Breidablik with good intentions in mind, this will never… urgh.

F!Robin: …You know you’re not alone, right? Everyone here is your friend. We can support you. There’s no point in getting sick with worry. That’s what my own friends taught me.

(y/n): Thank you, Robin. I appreciate the thought. But as my duty-

F!Robin: Oh, please. Don’t give me the “duty” excuse. I’ll help you, everyday! I know how it feels to work restlessly… so please, just let me help you.

(y/n): In that case… Alright, friend. Thanks a lot.

F!Robin: Don’t mention it.

[(y/n) and F!Robin have reached support rank A.]

S SUPPORT

F!Robin: You!

(y/n): Argh!

F!Robin: Stay right here! Don’t try to run away!

F!Robin: You owe me an explanation, and I want it now!

(y/n): R-Robin? I… Um… I have to–

F!Robin: Work to do, yes, I know. That’s the problem! What’s gotten into you? All of a sudden, it’s like I’m not allowed to work with you anymore! I just wanted to make sure you’d be fine, as a friend, and now you are overworking yourself again! Why?

(y/n): I know, I just… You’re… distracting me.

F!Robin: Distracting you…? So you’re saying it’s my fault then.

(y/n): I mean… Do you have any idea how hard it is to focus on skills sets or strategies for Tempest Trials when there’s someone as kindhearted and pretty as you always standing near me?!

F!Robin: …Excuse me?

(y/n): You gave me a hand when I needed it the most… and after that, every time you helped me, the only thing I could think about was how smart and beautiful you are. Sheesh, I even spilled tea all over me the other day because I was thinking about your smile.

F!Robin: (y/n)… I had no idea…

(y/n): I know. I’m sorry I changed my mind about working together and gave you no explanation. Well, here’s your reason. I love you. It’s just… In order to stay focused on my duties, I needed you to stay away from my job.

F!Robin: …You are such an idiot. Instead of taking such a rash decision, you should have told me. Who’s to say I don’t feel the same about you? Geez… I hadn’t confessed and I still thought you had rejected me.

(y/n): I-I’m sorry… I never expected I had a chance. But… maybe we can try.

F!Robin: What do you mean?

(y/n): If we both feel the same, maybe I won’t have any problem being in love with you and working at your side.

F!Robin: Now that sounds like a good decision. Here, let me tell you something.

[(y/n) and F!Robin have reached support rank S.]

Confession quote:

F!Robin: “Your dedication to help everyone, your kindness, your intelligence… I love it all. You opened my eyes to wonders I would have never imagined. I can not imagine how my life would have been like had I never met you. Let’s stay by each other’s side, for the rest of our lives.”

#male and female heroes #fire emblem awakening #submission #y'all have no idea how much time i spent proofreading this #in the end i changed so many things T___T i hope the writer can still recognize their support chain #i'm sorry writer i hope that's okay and sorry it took me so long

[gray-autumn-sky]

Happiness Can’t Be Arranged, Chapter 24

Robin and Regina return to Sherwood, and Regina’s secret comes out.

For this chapter I used a few prompts: Quote prompt from @glindalovesshoes, “I’m proud of us. I’m proud of you” and a prompt from Prompt Party where Regina has a nightmare and then Robin comforts her.

Previous chapters can be found HERE.

Regina’s eyes flutter as she becomes aware of the sheet that’s covering her--and suddenly, she is very aware that it’s the only thing covering her.

Her heartbeat quickens and her eyes stay pressed closed as a hazy memory of the previous night flickers…

She’s aware that there are pieces of memory missing--a common occurrence when she drinks as much as she did the previous evening--and she doesn’t remember excusing herself for the night or going up the stairs. One moment she’d been floating around the room, ensuring staying guests had a room to sleep in and those leaving had a carriage to take them back to the village, and then, next, she’d been slipping into their bedroom, holding the candle that had lit her way.

Robin had been sitting in an armchair by the hearth, and there was a fire burning, illuminating the room and casting light onto him. His tie was undone, his shirt partially unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up to his forearm--and there was something about the way he was sitting, leaning back against the chair, in spite of her exhaustion, gave her a moment’s pause and made her consider whether or not she was truly ready for their evening to end.

She thought about what it’d been like to spend an evening dancing with him. The more he drank, the more he relaxed, and by the time Mrs. Potter found the boys asleep beneath the desert table, Robin was dragging her back onto the dance floor for another round. His hands lingered lower and lower, sliding down over her ass as they giggled and kissed, no longer paying attention to the rhythm of the dance and no longer concerned about their form. Anyone who was there was drunk, anyway, and it hardly seemed to matter to anyone.

What happened immediately after she came into the room was fuzzier than the rest--she remembers him smiling and looking glad to see her, and when he’d reached for her, it made her heart flutter with hopeful anticipation--and when he’d kissed her, she’d been practically overcome with lust for him.

She remembers his kiss clearly. It was warm and soft, and his lips tasted of apple wine and brown sugar--and as his tongue parted her lips and slid slowly against hers, she’d offered a content sigh and pulled him closer.

She doesn’t remember him helping her out of her dress, but she remembers it being pooled on the floor at her feet, and though she doesn’t remember his shirt coming off, she remembers the way her fingers slid slowly up his chest and she thought about what it’d be like to have him again, to let herself enjoy being with him again. She’d swallowed hard, then reached for his belt--and she could feel the familiar twinge between her legs as she thought about getting into bed with him, about how he’d hover over her as her legs parted, and how her breath would catch as he slipped inside of her, filling her as she leaned up to kiss him…

There was more--she knows that there was more, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember it. Her eyes press tight as she becomes increasingly aware of her nakedness and the flicker of a memory of Robin’s tongue lapping the slick spot between her legs flashed. She easily remembers her head pressing back into the pillow as a low moan escaped her, enjoying the way his tongue ravished her--and now, she wonders if it’d ended there.

Regina flinches as she feels Robin’s weight shift onto the bed, startling her as her eyes fly open--and when he looks back at her, he offers a guilty little grin.

“I’m sorry,” he’s quick to say. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Mm, you… you didn’t,” she manages, pulling herself up as she holds the sheet against her chest. “I… think I was awake.”

Robin’s brow arches. “How are you feeling?”

“Um…” She blinks up at him. She isn’t sure. She isn’t sure how she feels--and that sets her nerves on edge. “I… don’t quite know.”

“I can get you something,” he offers. “A powder or some wat--”

“Robin,” she cuts in. “Did we… um… I mean, last night, did we…” Her eyes widen and her jaw trembles as she tries in vain to remember what came next, but no matter what she does, her memories don’t come. “I just--”

“No,” he says as her voice fails. “We didn’t sleep together. Not like that.”

She’s almost embarrassed by her relief, and she smiles a bit shyly as she finally lets her eyes meet his. “I just… woke up and…” she looks down at herself and her cheeks flush. “I’m naked and the last thing I remember is… being in bed with you and…”

“Nothing happened, Regina,” he says, reaching out and tipping up her chin as a soft grin tugs at his lips. “At least nothing you weren’t ready for.” He shrugs as his grin brightens. “We fooled around a little bit, and then went to bed. That’s it. That’s all that happened.”

She nods as she bites down on her lip. “I… wanted to. I remember wanting to.”

“I know you did,” he tells her. “And I did, too.”

“But--”

“We didn’t.”

“Good,” she breathes out. “I just--”

“You’re not ready,” he supplies, leaning in and pushing a soft kiss to her cheek. “And that’s perfectly fine.”

“I will be, though,” she tells him, her eyes widening. “One day, I will be.”

Robin nods as he pulls back. “How did you sleep?”

“I… think alright,” she murmurs, drawing in a breath. “What, um… what time is it?”

“Just after ten.”

At that, her eyes widen. “What? The morning’s more than half gone!”

“It is,” Robin laughs, “So, I suppose it’s a good thing that we have nothing to do.”

“Except pack up and get on our way.”

Robin shrugs dismissively. “I’m not overly concerned about when we leave.”

“We--”

“We will get back when we get back,” Robin tells her, cutting in before her panic can set in. There’s something about his demeanor that’s different, and it’s something she can’t quite pinpoint. His shoulders are relaxed and his smile comes easily, and there, in spite of her, there’s something so lighthearted about the moment. “You should eat,” he tells her. “Mrs. Beakley--god only knows how she pulled it off--made an incredible breakfast. Everyone who stayed over night was treated to oatmeal and fresh fruit and this walnut bread that was surprisingly delicious.”

“I’m sorry I missed it.”

“You needed your sleep, and she saved enough for you to have a proper breakfast whenever you woke.”

“Walnut bread does sound good.”

“Oh, it was,” he nods. “Smeared with apple butter and a sprinkled with a little cinnamon,” he adds. “Roland nearly ate half the loaf.”

She giggles. “I’m sure.”

“Everyone’s gone now. We could have a tray brought up for you. Like I said, it’s already been prepared.”

She nods, suddenly aware of the dull ache at her temples and at the base of her neck. “That’d be nice.”

“Should I call for her?”

“No,” she answers, shaking her head as she lays back. “Not yet.”

“No?”

“No,” she says, reaching for his hand, giving it a slight tug. “Not yet.” Robin grins and stretches out beside her, gently strumming his fingers over her arm as her eyes momentarily close. “Will you lay with me for a bit?”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do.”

A little giggle escapes her. It’s such a cheesy response and there are a hundred other things they should be doing, but it makes her heart flutter and her cheeks warm. She nudges herself toward him to cuddle in a bit closer, and she finds herself thinking about how wonderful it’d be to stay just as they are for the rest of the day, just the two of them in their happy little bubble.

Robin’s hand dips beneath the sheet that covers her, and his fingers edge over her hip, gently turning her toward him as he shifts closer. He drops a kiss to her forehead and his nose rubs against hers, and she sighs contently as he feels him draw in a breath, breathing her in as he cuddles closer.

“I don’t want to leave,” he admits in a voice that’s barely audible. “I like it here. I likeyou here.”

“Me?”

“Mhm,” he murmurs. “You were radiant last night.”

“I was drunk,” she tells him as she nuzzles against him. “I was drunker than I’ve been in a long time.”

“No, not that…” He laughs. “I watched you for a long time last night, watching how you interacted with our guests… the way your smiled and laughed with them, how carefree you seemed.’

“Like I said, I’d had a lot to drink.”

“You were stunning.”

“That’s an overstatement.”

“It’s not,” he insists. “You were stunning, in every way.”

She giggles. “Maybe I should have Winston pack up a case of that wine for us. That is, if it makes me so irresistible to you.”

“You’re always irresistible to me,” he says as his lips slide over her jaw. “But no matter what you say, it wasn’t the wine. It was you.” She turns, rolling onto her side as hand slips over his shoulder, forcing his lips to the nape of her neck. “Normally, wine makes you sleepy and--” He stops and a low laugh rumbles from his gut. “And sometimes, it makes you a bit frisky--”

“Robin--”

“Last night, was different.”

“Considering I woke up naked and in a panic, I’m not sure that it was.”

He laughs and his breath tickles her skin. “I was proud of you.” Regina pulls back, and her brow arches, but before she can say anything, a smile pulls across his face and shines through his eyes. “I’m always proud of you, though.”

“But especially so last night?”

“Yes,” he says, just before his lips return to her jaw. “And, I’ll be honest,” he tells her, laughing against her skin. “That made me a little frisky.”

Laughing out, she pushes at his shoulder, pushing him onto his back as she rolls onto her side. She grins down at him, her fingers tracing the buttons of his shirt and just as she had the night before, she feels that twinge at her core that urges her to let this continue--to peel off his clothes and to get on top of him, to pleasure him and herself until she collapses breathlessly against his chest.

“I should get dressed,” she says instead. “Or at least put on a nightdress and call for Belle.”

“She and Ruby went for a walk,” he tells her, reaching up and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Besides, I like you this way.”

“Naked?”

“Comfortable.”

“Oh…”

“You’re sure that I can’t convince you to stay?”

Biting down on her lip, she grimaces. “Robin, we’ve talked about this.”

“I know,” he tells her. “You want to go back… for reasons I can’t quite understand, but reasons I respect, nonetheless.” He sighs, once again reaching up and caressing the back of his fingers over her cheek. “I just wish you’d be a little selfish, and stay because you want to, instead of going back because you feel like you have to.”

“We live there, Robin.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s home.”

Her brow furrows as she considers his words, her head too fuzzy to really process them. “What do you mean?” She asks, pulling back a bit so that her eyes can meet his. “I don’t… quite know what you mean by that.”

Robin blinks, sighing as he falls back against the pillow--and for a moment, he looks lost in thought. He stares up at the ceiling grinning softly as if contemplating his response, and she watches curiously, wondering…

“Sherwood has always been my father’s home,” he tells her. “It’s never quite felt like mine.”

For a moment, she considers. “I felt that way about Dragon Head,” she offers, still not really certain how it is that they’ve gotten to this particular conversation. “Until I left it. Then, I missed it.”

“Did you?”

She nods, remembering how difficult it’d been for her to sleep in those first months in the tiny apartment above the Daniel’s cousin’s tavern. The bed was rough and lumpy, the sounds from the tavern continually pulled her back to consciousness as she drifted to sleep, and more times than not, Daniel wasn’t there with her--and then, of course, there was the growing discomfort that came with pregnancy. “I… did,” she admits. “Or, at the very least, I missed my father.”

“He missed you.”

She grins and scrunches her nose. “Can we… not talk about my father right now?” Robin’s brow furrows. “I just… I’m naked and in bed with you, and just a few minutes ago, my thoughts were not on things I’d ever like to associate with my father.”

Sitting up, Robin reaches for her, laughing out as he nods. His hand sweeps up against her jaw and pushes into her messy hair, drawing her in as he pecks at her lips. “Alright,” he concedes. “I was just thinking that, perhaps, it’d be nice if you and I had a place that felt like home.”

“I always thought home was more about people rather than a place.”

“Couldn’t it be both?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I suppose so, even if I’ve never experienced it.”

“What about here?”

“Hm?”

“Does this place feel like home?”

She blinks--she hadn’t really thought of it. Sure, she enjoyed being at this house and surrounded by the people in it, but it was a getaway and that colored things differently. “I… don’t know,” she admits. “We’ve only been here a couple of times.”

“But we’ve been happy here.”

“Yes,” she agrees easily. “We have been.”

Robin’s eyes narrow, but he doesn’t say anything--and once more, he looks lost in thought. But before she can ask, her stomach rumbles and then her cheeks flush with embarrassment as Robin looks down between them, realizing the gurgling rumble came from her gut.

“You should eat.”

“I am hungry.”

“I’ll call Mrs. Beakley and have tray brought up.”

She watches as he rolls away from her, tugging gently at a silky cord at their bedside. She sighs as she gathers the sheet back up around herself, wrapping it around her body and holding it at her chest as she slides her legs over the edge of the bed, reluctantly getting up to put on a nightdress.

It occurs to her as she passes into the dressing room that she could very well dress herself--after all, she did it for years, and her simpler dresses don’t require much assistance--but the thought is a fleeting one. She reaches for the thin muslin gown as she drops the sheet, letting it pool at her feet as she lifts the night dress over her head and lets it fall around her. For a moment, she just stares at herself in the shapeless garment. She tugs at the sides tightening it to show her form and a hint of a grin pulls at her lips before she lets go, and the nightdress takes on a its formless shape once more. She chooses not exert the effort necessary to lace it up fully, then pads back to the bedroom and crawls back into bed.

Her eye catches Robin, still laying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling with that pensive but dreamy look on his face. She takes a breath and ignores the ache at her temples as edges herself toward him, smiling as his arm folds around her. She rests her head on his chest, listening to him breathe, every now and then she catches the soft thump of his heart beat…

She’s not entirely sure how long they lay like that--together in a comfortable silence--but she’s brought back into the present moment when a light knock rasps at the door. She sits up and smiles as Mrs. Beakley comes into the room, carrying with her breakfast tray. She can smell the apple butter and cinnamon, and there’s a little bowl of cut up fruit beside the bread--and then the with a glint in her eye, Mrs. Beakley sets the tray down over her lpa, pointing out the tea they discussed. Regina bites down on her lip as she glances toward Robin, and then, looking back to the cook, she thanks her for keeping a tray warm for her in spite of her obvious tardiness for breakfast. Mrs. Beakley nods and smiles, assuring her that it was no trouble and as she excuses herself back to the kitchen, Robin sits up beside her. He slides his arm loosely around her waist as chin rests on her shoulder and somehow, in that moment, she feels a warmth in her chest, and a sudden understanding of what Robin meant by a place feeling like home.

And she finds herself thinking that this would be such a pleasant way to start every day.

_____

They left the hunting lodge later than expected.

Their day had gotten off to a slow start, and it’d been well-past noon when Robin and Regina emerged from their chambers. The carriages were all packed up and ready to go, but the boys had gone on a little outing to the stables with Winston, and though Mrs. Potter had offered it, neither Robin nor Regina wanted to be the one who cut their fun short. So, they’d waited.

When the boys returned, they were each in need of a bath and by the time that was done, dinner was upon them. Mrs. Beakley made a stew from the leftover pork, and wrapped up some dried fruit and some of the walnut bread for them to take with them on the journey back to Sherwood. Then, for the boys, she packed an entire tin of cinnamon cookies to munch on as they traveled. Regina thanked her, reminding her that the cookies were unnecessary and Mrs. Beakley teased that the boys likely thought just the opposite--and then she pulled Regina aside and presented her with a small, cherry wood tea chest. The top of the chest was engraved with a full box elder and beneath it was stamped “The Tree of Life” in a loopy cursive hand.There was a gold clasp that kept it shut and gold stripes painted along the edges of the top and around the chest’s middle. Her fingers trembled slightly as Mrs. Beakley opened the top. It was line with a soft blue fabric and in the bottom was a deep tin that took up about two-thirds of the box--and it was filled with dried Queen Anne’s Lace that could be boiled for tea. There were two other compartments in the chest, each with the a little tin lid. One held the lemon-soaked sponge and the other was stocked with assurance caps. Regina’s cheeks flushed as Mrs. Beakley explained that instructions for the tea were pinned to the fabric that lined the top of the chest--and as she nodded a bit awkwardly, Mrs. Beakley closed the chest, grinning as she told her the supply should last until they returned in December, and if it didn’t, she could write and she’d send her more.

Regina fumbled through a thank you and Mrs. Beakley only smiled, nodding as she squeezed her hand.

To make up for lost time, they’d driven through the night, only stopping twice that day to give the horses a rest. The first time they’d stopped they’d set up a little picnic breakfast and for an hour or so, they let the boys play a game of tag. Regina’s heart fluttered as Robin pressed a hasty kiss to her cheek before he’d gotten up to chase the boys, and when he scooped them each up in an arm and spun them around, she thought it was entirely possible that her heart may burst.

The rest of the day had been dull, consisting mostly of traveling through desolate countryside. By the time they found a little inn in a small village, they were all a bit grumpy and exhausted, and by the time everyone was settled in a room for the night, it was well-past midnight.

She’d meant to get Henry and Roland changed into their night clothes, but as soon as she sat down on she edge of the bed to open up their trunk, they’d climbed into bed with with her. They tugged her down and cuddled into her sides and she didn’t have the heart to move them--so there she laid, awkwardly against the pillows of the small bed, strumming her fingers rhymically up and down each boy’s back...

Lazily, Regina grins as Robin comes into the room with two glasses of whiskey balances delicately in his palm. “A nightcap, love?”

“Oh,” she murmurs, looking down at herself. “Even if I wanted to, I’m not sure that I could accept.”

Robin laughs as he spots the boys and closes the door behind himself. Carefully he sets the glasses onto the top of the dresser and comes closer, peering down at the boys. “Are they asleep?”

“Mhm,” she nods, watching as sits down on the edge of the bed. “They’ve been out cold for… about as long as we’ve been in this room.”

Robin grins as he leans across the bed, sliding an arm underneath Roland and slowly lifting him off of Regina. Roland lets out a little grunt as Robin picks him up, and Regina smiles as his head flops to rest on Robin’s shoulder. He carries him to the little couch by the window and draws one the blanket Mrs. Potter had packed for the boys up around his shoulders, and for a moment, he lingers, waiting to see if he stays asleep. Then, when Roland is settled, Robin returns for Henry. He carefully plucks up off of Regina and lays him down on the opposite end of the couch. Henry snuggles against his pillow as Robin draws up the second blanket--and she can’t help the soft chuckle that escapes her as Henry gropes for his dragon. Robin moves it closer and kneels down between them, once again adjusting their blankets and pillows before smoothing their hair from their foreheads. He leans in and kisses them each--and then he turns his attention to her.

“A drink, m’lady?” He asks as a slow grin tugs at his lips. “The bartender assured me this is the best whiskey of any realm… and that’s why he charges such an egregious amount for such a little bit.”

‘You have your doubts,” she says, stretching out her arms as she its up and chuckling softly as he nods. “I was just going to make some tea.”

“Tea? At this hour?” She nods as her legs fall over the edge of the bed and she reaches for the small trunk that sits in front of the nightstand. She can feel him watching as he sinks down onto his side of the bed and lays back against the pillows, stretching out his legs. “It seems a lot of effort when a glass of whiskey is right here.”

“Yes,” she tells him without explanation, grinning, she pulls the tea chest that Mrs. Beakley and sets it on the bed. “I’m sure.”

“Are you? That’s a shame.”

She nods. “You seem to be peddling that whiskey as much as the bartender.”

“I hear it’s the best,” he tells her, tipping his chin up haughty, and in a way that makes her giggle. “And I want only the best for my wife.”

“I’ll stick with my tea.”

“You could put the whiskey in the tea.”

Her eyes narrow. “You like to push off alcohol on me.”

“Push off is a strong accusation.”

“Doesn’t make it less true,” she counters playfully as her fingers trace the edge of the tea chest. “You seem to like getting me drunk.”

“A glass of whiskey wouldn’t get you drunk. I don’t care what that bartender says, it’s not that good.”

“Still.”

“It’s not that I like getting you drunk,” he says, sighing after a moment’s passed. “I just… like getting you relaxed.”

A soft grin tugs onto her lips. “I know and I appreciate that.”

She lifts the lid of the best and unpins Mrs. Beakley’s little instruction booklet--and from the corner of her eye, she watches Robin sit up and pour her glass of whiskey into his and takes a short sip. “My mother had a tea chest like that,” he tells her. “I remember the little compartments.”

“Did she?”

“Yes,” he murmurs. “And that smell, it’s--” He laughs. “I’d forgotten until just now, but whenever she made tea for herself, I remembered her sitting room always smelled of lemons, but she didn’t like lemon in her tea.”

For a moment, she doesn't say anything. But her cheeks flush slight as she focuses down on the little spoon nestled into the Queen Anne’s Lace. “Well, there’s not any lemon in this tea, either.”

“No? I assumed it was ground up in there somewhere,” he tells her, peering into the tea chest. “I certainly smell it--and a lot of it.”

“The lemon is… for something else.” She looks up at him, biting down on her lip as as she draws in a breath. “Apparently, I am the only woman alive who doesn’t know, um… about these little tricks.”

Robin’s brow furrows. “Tricks?”

“Yes, to, um… prevent… um… unwanted pregnancy.” She watches as his brows arch and once again, her cheeks flush. “According to Mrs. Beakley’s mother who was a midwife, there are… a, um… a few different of things we could… employ…to, um--”

Her voice trails off and she sighs. This isn’t something she should be awkward and shy about--not with him, at least--and it seems ridiculous to think that there’s some sort of scandal in merely talking about being intimate with a man she’s married to--a man she’s already been intimate with, in a variety of ways.

“The tea,” she says, trying again, “is Queen Anne’s lace. Mrs. Beakley’s mother used to grow it and give it to her patients when they didn’t want more children or… children at all. It reduces fertility as long as it’s used regularly.” She shrugs, not entirely sure of the specifics. “She says it’s worked for a lot of women and so there’s no reason to think that it wouldn’t work for me.”

“And, she… gave some to you?”

“Yes.”

“Ah.”

“You’re… not upset.”

“Not in the least,” Robin says as a toothy grin stretches across his lips. “How does it work?”

“I drink it a couple of times a day, and apparently, in about a month’s time, I should notice differences in myself.” She pauses as his brow creases with curiosity. “I’ll spare you the details.”

“You don’t have to.”

“They’re not necessary,” she admits with a shrug. “Of course, though, it’s not completely foolproof.”

“No, nothing is.”

“That’s where the lemon comes in,” she says, pointing to the tin containing the sponge. “Again, I’m not sure how or why it works, just that it does… apparently.”

“Apparently…”

She nods. “I can wear it when we, um… when we’re together.”

“Ah.”

“Yes,” she says, swallowing hard in an effort to maintain her composure.

“And in the third tin?”

“Oh,” she says, giggling uncomfortably. “That is actually something for you.”

“Me?” he asks, gesturing to himself, looking both surprised and excited--and in that moment, she remembers Mrs. Beakley gently informing her that all her boys are soothed by milk and cookies. “I get something?”

“Yes.”

“Do tell!”

She laughs as her finger slips underneath the lip of the little tin. “Assurance caps.”

“Caps.”

“Yes,” she nods. “Just to… um… be sure that--

“Things don’t spilled out to where they’re not supposed to be.”

She grins. “That’s one way of explaining it.” She watches as he reaches for the tin, his thumb and forefinger pulling out a long yellow-ish sheath. He unfolds it and pushes two fingers inside, examining its every detail. “I assume it’s safe to say you haven’t worn one before.”

“I haven’t,” he admits. “But it’s soft and feels like skin, though it’s a bit coarser.”

“Lambskin,” she tells him, biting down on her bottom lip as he looks up at her. “It’s treated with… something,” she says, “I don’t know what, but--”

“That doesn’t matter,” he says, looking back to the cap on his fingers, watching as he moves his fingers inside of it. “It stretches.”

“Yes.”

“So, the combination of all of this--”

“Should do the trick.”

“So, we can--”

“Yes,” she nods, her cheeks warming slightly as he looks back to her, grinning brightly--and his grin forces hers and then a soft giggle escapes her. “I’m still nervous about it.”

“Then we don’t ha--”

“But I want to,” she tells him, her voice firmer than intended. “I…think about that night a lot.”

“As do I.”

“Contrary to the way it seems, I did enjoy being with you and--”

“Regina,” Robin cuts in, reaching over and giving her hand a reassuring little squeeze. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“But I--”

“We weren’t ready,” he tells her simply. “We had one wonderful night together and one day soon we’ll have another.” A grin pulls onto his lips as his thumb rubs at her wrist. “And another and another and--” He stops when she laughs and he leans in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “And until then, please, drink your tea.”

“That’s the plan,” she says, watching as he looks back to the cap on his fingers. “You’re… alright with that?”

“This?” He asks, holding it up. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re doing your part and I should do mine.”

“Right,” she nods. “It’s just… most married men don’t…” She stops and shifts uncomfortably, slowly reaching out and pulling the cap from his fingers. “Nevermind.”

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You were going to say something.”

“No,” she murmurs as she fold that cap back up and puts it in the tin. “Nothing worth saying, anyway.”

“How long do they last?”

“Hm?”

“The caps,” he clarifies. “There are only a few in there.”

“Oh, um… more than once, certainly,” she tells him. “I don’t know for sure. I’ve never, um… used them.”

Robin nods and sits up, taking a quick sip of his nearly forgotten whiskey. “I suppose we’ll figure it out.”

“Yes, I suppose we will.”

She giggles softly as she shifts off the bed to boil a pot of water and she can feel him watching her as she reads through Mrs. Beakley’s instructions for the tea. Their conversation shifts to their plans for the next day and the rest of the journey back to Sherwood and away from more difficult-to-discuss topics like contraceptives.

She listens as Robin talks about wanting to stop at about the halfway mark to give both the horses and the boys a rest. While waiting for her tea, he sips his whiskey--which he reports does not live up to the expectation set by the bartender--and mentions an advertisement he saw when he was downstairs in the pub, something promising magic tricks, songs, exotic animals from far away lands, and fortune teller who could look into their souls. At that, her brow jutts up and he laughs softly, admitting the latter part did sound somewhat terrifying, but the rest seemed fun and something that the boys would enjoy. A bit reluctantly, she agrees, but she hesitates to say that they could go, and as she pours the hot water into her tea cup, she reminds him that they have a tight schedule and were already cutting it close.

Robin shifts on the bed, leaning back against the pillows and stretching out his legs as she sits down on her side, sipping his whiskey as she sips her tea.

“I just don’t understand why we have to be at this dinner party.”

“It’s important to your father. We’ve already talked about this. We’ve talked about this numerous times now.”

“But I still don’t--”

“It’s important to your father.”

“So is bringing the Indian Caste system to England, but neither of us is rushing to do that.”

Regina’s eyes roll. “As I said before, I don’t want to give him any more reason to dislike me.”

“His opinion and favor aren’t worth winning.”

“Still,” she murmurs. “It's important for me to try.”

Robin sighs and nods, and takes a sip of his whiskey. “I think you’ll succeed.”

“Do you?”

“Not tomorrow night, but eventually,” he admits. “It’s an effort for him to disapprove of you, you know.”

“I doubt that. I’ve given him a great deal to work with.”

“No,” he murmurs. “You’ve quite a few qualities he admires in a person. You’re smart and pragmatic, you’re always thinking four steps ahead of me and coming up with how to deal with problems that haven’t even yet arisen. You’re a wonderful mother to Henry and Roland, and though it might not seem it, that’s important to him.” He grins as he looks over at her. “When you do something you put your whole heart into it, you don’t give up easily--”

“You’re telling me I’m stubborn.”

“In the best of ways.”

She grins and takes a sip of her tea. “Ah. I see.”

“But most importantly, you’ve a sense of loyalty and obligation. You understand the role you’ve assumed, and even though it wasn’t your choice, you’ve embraced it and the other night you flourished in it.” He laughs softly and tosses back the rest of the whiskey. “Give him time. He’ll come around, and there will be a day he likes you better than he likes me.”

“You’re his son.”

“And?”

Regina laughs and takes another, longer sip of the tea as she considers what he’s said--and then, her brow furrows. “If all that’s true, and those are qualities he admires in a person, what exactly does he see in Zelena Greene?”

His face scrunches as he sets his now empty glass on the bedside table, and when he looks back at her, it looks as though he’s smelled something foul. “I’d really rather not know.”

_____

Regina’s heart races as she jolts up and looks around the darkened room. Her breath is ragged and her skin is clammy, and as she swallows hard, she feels like she’s on the verge of tears…

She draws in a few deliberate breathes and tries to calm herself, slowly easing back against the pillows--and momentarily, she's glad that she didn’t wake Robin or the boys. She rolls onto her side, eager to cuddle up to her sleeping husband for comfort, but when she reaches for him, her hand falls into emptiness.

He’s isn’t there.

Her heart starts to beat faster as she sits back up and squints her eyes, looking aimlessly around the room, and she finds that there’s something different about it, though she can’t pinpoint what it is...

Again, looks to the spot where Robin laid, her eyes adjusting enough for her to examine his side of the bed--the blanket is folded back, but there’s a dent in the pillow and when she presses her palm to the mattress, she finds that it’s still warm. It’s then that she notices a nearly burned out candle at his bedside that illuminates the doorway. She takes a breath and lays back down. His coat isn’t hanging on the peg by the door and she tells herself there are hundreds of reasons he might’ve gotten up in the middle of the night and left their room. He might’ve been thirsty and gone down for a drink, or perhaps he needed to use the privy. Yet, no matter what she tells herself, she can’t quite shake the feeling of dread that fills her and no matter what she does, she can’t seem to stop her heart from racing…

It’s then that her thoughts shift unexpectedly to Daniel and another night she’d inexplicably awoken with a start, and when she thinks of how she’d found him--lying motionless and contorted on the dewy grass just beyond the stables--her eyes fill with tears, and suddenly, she can’t lay back down, much less lay still…

Throwing her feet over the edge of the bed, she glaces to the boys and finds that they’re both still sleeping peacefully. She reaches for her robe and ties it around herself, not really caring that about her state of undress. She takes the candle and leaves the room, walking slowly down the corridor toward the stairs that will take her down to the tavern. As she passes a door she hears a breathy sigh follows by a grunt that sounds a bit like a growl, and her eyes press closed as she thinks about what’s happening behind the door…

She doesn’t linger though; instead, she continues on her way, her knot in her stomach clenching with every step.

Finally, she makes her way down to the to the pub and finds it still crowded. Her eyes search the room for him, hoping to find him sitting at the bar nursing a mug of ale--and it takes a few scans over the room for her to realize that it looks very different than it did before. Furniture is moved and there’s a window by the door that she doesn’t remember seeing--and then as her eyes shift to the bar, she finds its eerily similar to the one in the tavern she and Daniel had lived above.

She doesn’t have time to consider it, though, because it’s then that she spots Robin. He’s perched on a stool whispering with one of the barkeeps. Her shoulders relax and she smiles in relief--and just as starts to turn to go back upstairs, she stops cold in her tracks.

A man is standing in front of her--a man who looks vaguely familiar to her--and he smiles drunkenly as he reaches for her. She stands there, rooted in place, as his eyes trail over her and his hand squeezes at her backside--and as he leans in and whispers that he hopes there’s nothing beneath her robe, she catches Robin’s glare.

His eyes are hard and full of disgust--and when she tries to pull out of the stranger’s hold, he scoffs and looks away. The barkeep looks between them and says something she can’t quite hear, and nearly as soon as he finishes speaking, Robin looks back to her and shakes his head before reaching into his pocket and tossing a few coins down onto the bar. She struggles free and takes a few steps forward, crying out that she can explain. He stops and looks to her again, looking her up and down with more judgement than she’s ever seen from him, and when she says his name again, he cuts her off and tells her she isn’t worth it before turning on his heels and leaving the bar…

“Regina, hey…” She flinches as he reaches for her, and her eyes widen as she looks to him, finding his blue eyes soft and filled with concern. “It’s alright,” he tells her, stroking the back of his hand over her arm. “You’re alright. Whatever it was, it was just a dream.”

“No…”

“It was.”

“Robin, it wasn’t though,” she breathes out, her chest tight as tears burn in her eyes. “It wasn’t just a dream.”

“It was, love,” he murmurs as he edges toward her as his hand slips to her back to rub between her shoulder blades. “It was all a dream.”

Her eyes press closed and tears seep from the sides. It wasn’t--not entirely.

“You’re alright.”

“The way you looked at me--”

“Wasn’t real.”

“But--”

“It was a dream,” he says again

“Robin, you were so angry--”

“I’m not angry, love.”

“But you will--”

“No.”

She blinks back her tears and looks at him--and then finally, she nods in concession.

“Come here,” he murmurs. “Let me hold you.” She nods and lets him pull her to him. He eases them back and folds his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She hesitates. “No.”

“You’re sure? I didn’t mean to cut you off.”

Regina presses her eyes closed and draws in a breath, holding onto it for a moment before slowly releasing it--even in dream, she never wanted him to see her that way. She takes another breath as she feels herself relax a little and the dream begins to fade. GHer heart beat slows to a more normal pace, and with every deep breath she draws in, she feels herself relaxing more and more in his arms until finally, she’s comfortable.

He didn’t know.

As real as her fears were to her, they weren’t real to him.

Her secret was still safe…

“Did I wake you?”

“You did,” he tells her. “You were crying.”

“Oh…”

“I didn’t realize you were having a nightmare, at first.”

“I’m sor--”

“Don’t apologize,” he interjects, squeezing her a little closer. “I’m just glad I was able to wake you and end your obvious suffering.”

“I am, too,” she admits. “I’m not sure that I want to go back to sleep.”

“Then let’s stay up.”

“Robin, we have--”

“Nothing that’s all that important to do in the morning,” he says, his voice rising over hers as he squeezes her to him and presses another kiss to her hair. “You’re sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

She nods. “It was bad enough my dream version of you had to know.”

He lifts his head and peers down at her. “Regina--”

“Honestly, I barely remember it now--other than that little bit.”

“You just remember that I… didn’t take something well?”

She nods. “You were upset with me and you walked out. You left me, I think.”

“Well,” he scoffs. “I sound like a jackass.”

“I deserved it.”

“I doubt that.”

A half-hearted grin pulls at the corner of her mouth. “You don’t even know what I’d done, or… what I let happen… or…” She sighs. “It doesn't matter.”

“That,” he says, looking pointedly at her, “We can agree on,” he tells her. “Not only was it a dream, you’d never deserve me walking away from you.”

Before she can respond, he sits up and that forces her to sit up, too. In the dark, he reaches for the candle and then a match, and a moment later, there’s a warm glow surrounding them. She can see him more clearly now, and his gaze is gentle and sweet--even if a bit groggy--and when he grins at her, his eyes nearly light up.

In spite of herself, she smiles, watching as he gets out of bed and moves toward the boys’ trunk--a trunk they’d filled with all sorts of games and toys to make their trip more enjoyable--and he fishes out a deck of cards.

“Your father is Spanish, right?”

“Yes,” she nods, not really sure why he’s asking. “My grandparents immigrated in the ‘40s.”

“I think I knew that,” he murmurs, getting back into the bed. “I’m not sure why, but I think I knew.”

“I didn’t tell you.”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging as settles himself at the end of the bed. “It was something else…”

“That’s a bit odd,” she tells him, watching as he flips open the box and drops the cards into his hand and begins to shuffle them. “Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if he’d taught you to play Blackjack.”

She blinks. “I… don’t know what that is.”

“It’s a Spanish card game,” he tells her. “Jefferson taught it to me when we were kids, he--”

Her shoulders tense at the mention of Jefferson Hatfield's name--and she shifts uncomfortably when Robin notices. He doesn’t say anything about it, though, he just grins and continues to shuffle.

“Anyhow, Jefferson taught me and then I spent my teenage years winning his inheritance, little by little.”

“Y-you gambled with him?”

“When we were kids.”

“Not, um… recently?”

Robin blinks. His lips part as though he’s going to say something, but then he stops and shakes his head. “Not recently,” he confirms. “I told you once that I never cared for him, even back then, but our fathers were friends and--” He stops as she shifts again, this time swallowing to conceal a shaky breath. “I played cards and billiards sporadically after I married Marian, and after I lost her, it was even less frequently.”

“Oh, I… I think I knew that.”

“He stopped inviting me,” Robin tells her, waiting until she looks back at him to continue. “I knocked a few of his teeth out after he made some comments I didn’t much care for.”

“You… um, you told me that, I think,” she murmurs, her mouth suddenly dry and her stomach unsettled. “A while back, you… you told me that.”

“Right, well…” He sighs and then smiles, “I almost miss handing him his ass and walking off with some precious heirloom.”

“Almost?”

He nods as their eyes meet. “I’ve no room in my life for scum like him.” That should come as a relief, but it doesn’t--it only makes the knot in her stomach tighten--because if he thinks what someone like Jefferson Hatfield did reduced him to scum, she could only imagine what he’d think of her. “Now, on to much more enjoyable topics,” he says, grinning as gives the deck one last shuffle. “The point of the game is to get as close to twenty-one as possible without going over…”

_____

They arrive back at Sherwood unceremoniously and with just more than an hour to spare--and before they’d even made it out of the carriage, the weight of being back at Sherwood was heavy on their shoulders.

He’d been in a good mood the whole day, enjoying the time with Regina and the boys and there had even been a part of him that was looking forward to returning home. But as their carriage had started up the long approach, he could see that their arrival was all but forgotten. There was no staff to greet them and though he never much liked the pomp the accompanied any and all arrivals, his father never missed an opportunity to feel important--and typically anyone’s arrival at Sherwood did just that.

Regina sighed as she looked over at him, noting the shift in his demeanor and gently pressed her hand to his arm, reminding him that the staff was likely busy preparing for the dinner party later that evening. As the carriage pulled up to the front of the house, Regina again reminded him that it wasn’t a big deal nor something he’d normally expect, but to him it was just another show of disapproval. John’s eyes met his as they got don from the carriage, and for an all too brief moment, he had an ally to validate his annoyance--and then, a tight grin pulled onto John’s lips as he told him he’d unload the trunks, then scrounge up a footman or two to take their things back to their chambers.

Robin nodded as Regina thanked him as she hoisted Roland up onto her hip and took Henry by the side, leaving him to follow her into the house.

Mal greeted her at the top of the stairs, reaching for Roland as Regina asked her something he didn’t quite hear, and as he joined Regina, Mal only nodded in response before excusing herself to the nursery with the boys…

“They seem awfully glad to see her.”

“They are,” Regina says, leaning back into him as his arm slips around her waist. “And she seems glad to see them.”

“Or perhaps just… glad.”

“Maybe,” Regina nods. “Though I think glad is a bit too strong of a word.” Sighing, she looks back at him. “Even if the reading of Rose’s will went well, I can’t imagine she’s glad about it.”

“No…”

“But I hope it went well. She deserves it.”

“Is there a chance our nanny and tutor might find herself a proper heiress?”

“Possibly,” Regina admits. “Rose’s father divided the money three ways, since he had all girls.”

“That was smart.”

“It was.”

“Do you think she’d leave?”

Regina shakes her had. “She’d go crazy with nothing to do. She’d never be able to sit still and pick flowers and embroider pillows all day.” She grins back at him from over her shoulder. “So, I doubt we’ll need to worry about finding a replacement.”

“Good,” he murmurs, pulling her back against him and pressing a kiss to her hair. “I like having her here.”

“Do you?”

“I do,” he says closing his eyes as he nuzzles against her and tries to stifle a yawn. “She likes you, she’s wonderful with our boys and she gets under my father’s skin.”

“What’s not to like then?” Regina asks, chuckling softly as she leans back into him and sighs.

“Are you sure we have to go to this party?”

“Positive.”

“Wouldn’t you rather take a nap?”

“Of course I would.”

“Then--”

“We’ve talked about this, Robin,” Regina cuts in, pulling away as she turns to face him. “You know this is important.”

“I know,” he says flatly--he knows, he just doesn’t understand. “You’ve been telling me that for weeks.”

“I have,” she confirms, unncessarily. “Besides, it’s just a few hours.”

“Of agony.”

“Robin--”

“Fine,” he sigh. “I’ll play along.”

She nods as a lopsided little grin tugs up at the corner of her mouth. “I just…  I think it’d be nice to finally do something right in his eyes. Just a little thing that… that might start to turn the tide.”

“You realize he’s not prone to change. He’s been ornery and smug for as long as I can remember, and it gets worse with age.”

“I’m not expecting any miracles, just maybe for him not to cringe at the very sight of me.”

“Regina--”

“It’s just dinner.”

“I know, but--” his voice trails off and he sighs, drawing in a long breath that he slowly releases as his eyes flutter open. “Wouldn’t a nap be much nicer? Pillows don’t cringe, you know.”

“Robin,” she sighs, not even cracking the slightest of smiles at his poor attempt at a joke. “This is importantly to me. I want to go and I want to at least try.”

He softens as she blinks up at him, almost shyly as her lip catches between her teeth--and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny her anything. So finally, he nods his concession, sighing as her smile nearly breaks his heart--she looks so hopeful and since they started off on the road toward Sherwood earlier that morning, there’d been a nagging feeling at his core that told him returning was a mistake, that if they could just delay for one more day, things would be better. But he couldn’t quite explain why he felt this way and Regina seemed determined, refuting his every attempt at stalling.

“If this is what you want.”

Leaning up onto her toes, she leans in and pecks his cheek. “It’s what I want.”

“Then I suppose I’ll go find John and have him dress me in my old room.” He pauses, looking past her momentarily. “Shall we rendezvous again here in about forty minutes?”

She nods. “That should be enough time for Belle to

“Well, she has Ruby’s help tonight.”

A grin tugs at the corner of her mouth. “She does.”

Regina leans on to her toes and presses a quick kiss to his cheek, and then he’s left alone in the long empty hallway, hoping that her plan doesn’t horribly backfire--and just as he tries to reason with himself and give his father the benefit of doubt, the sinking feeling he’d battled all day returns in tenfold.

“Sir--”

He turns to see John a few feet ahead of him and sighs, pushing down his worry and reminding him that it’s likely unwarranted. His father was a lot of unsavory things--he was blunt and shrewd, stuck in his ways and resistant to anything that wasn’t his idea. He rejected anyone who didn’t conform to the expectations he set in place and his expectations were fickle and ever-changing. But at the end of the day, he hated spectacles and gossip, and he grasped onto the societal norms of status and position as though his entire existence depended on it.

But Zelena was a dark horse.

She was new to the mix and changing things in ways he hadn’t yet learned to navigate--and he knew that she’d been filling his father’s head with things that he’d otherwise have no way of knowing, and in a few short weeks he’d gone from disliking and distrusting Regina to a hatred he didn’t bother to conceal.

As he followed John into the room he used to occupy, he found himself lingering on his father’s shift from wanting another heir to secure the family’s fortune to outright opposing the idea--and again, he felt that tightening at his core as he thought of the secret Regina held, the one she couldn’t bear to confess--and he wondered, wishing that he could talk to his father, that he could confide in him and explain.

“Are you glad to be home, sir?”

Robin blinks, looking at John through the mirror and finding his smile coy. “Not especially.”

“You know, it isn’t my place to ask, but I couldn’t help but notice that you and Winston spent the morning behind closed doors in the library.”

“We did.”

“Perhaps a change is coming?”

Robin chuckles as John’s brow arches. “Perhaps.”

“For what it’s worth, I think it’d be a wise choice.”

“Unfortunately, it’s not just as simple as knowing it’s the right choice.”

“Of course not,” John sighs. “But that goes a long way.”

“It does.”

“Would your father be entirely opposed?”

“I don’t know,” Robin admits. “We haven’t talked about it. I only decided for sure at the ball, though I’ve been thinking about it since summer, and--” His voice trails off as John opens up his chest of drawers and pulls out a crisp, starched white shirt and a collar, and he starts to unbutton the one he’s wearing. “But there are a lot of things that would have to fall into place--my obligations to the tenants here, a reallocation of funds from Sherwood to the lodge and--”

“Does that mean I can come along.”

Robin laughs. “Of course I’d bring you. I’m not sure I need a valet, but I wouldn’t leave you here.”

“I wouldn’t say that I couldn’t enjoy working in a smaller house, taking on other responsibilities.”

“So, you and Winston get on?”

“Keenly.”

“Good, that’s-- that’s good,” Robin says as he slips his arms into the dress shirt. “And we’d take Belle for Regina, and Mal for the boys, and... and probably Ruby.”

“For Belle?”

Robin looks at John through the mirror and watches as a sly little grin pulls onto his lips, and then he nods. “Yes, in part.”

“They’re sweet,” John tells him. “I don’t quite understand them, but they’re sweet and--” He laughs out and takes his head as he turns back to the chest for Robin’s tails and a tie. “I don’t mind confessing it now, but the morning of the Harvest Ball, I might’ve spilled some silver polish onto the table linens and Ruby somehow managed to get it out.”

“Did Mrs. Potter know?”

John nods and turns back. “Threatened me within an inch of my life.”

“Over a little polish?”

“More like the whole bottle.”

“Ah--”

“And Ruby had it cleaned in no time,” he says, almost proudly. “So, if I took issue with her before then, I could never now. I owe her my life.”

Robin slips into the jacket as John moves around to face him. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I’ll ta--”

“It’s no exaggeration,” John says, looking up at him with serious eyes. “That Mrs. Potter may be small, but she’s terrifying when she’s angry. She’s like one of those French bull dogs when you take it’s food.”

“Something you have personal experience with?” Robin arches, arching an eyebrow as he stifles a laugh as John’s eyes roll. “Honestly, though, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Change is hard, but--”

“Worth it, most of the time.”

“Yes.”

John ties his tie and buttons his jacket, and momentarily, silence falls between them--but this time, instead of worrying, he finds himself thinking about what it might be like to take Regina and their boys, and the staff that works directly with them up to the lodge on a more permanent basis, to be surrounded by people who enjoyed their company. He imagined Mal teaching the boys to play piano in the drawing room there and Mrs. Beakley interrupting their lessons with warm cookies in need of “testing” and he imagined what it’d be like to teach them to ride horseback through the woods, losing themselves for a day, getting lost in the forest, and he imagined Regina accompanying him on trips into the tiny village and then actually being glad to return home in the evening. He imagined warm meals in the dining room where their children were able to eat with them, jokes about Regina’s love of apples, and being allowed lazy mornings that didn’t earn a disapproving gaze. They could be happy there, and he knew it--he just hoped that all of the pieces would fall into place to afford them the happiness the lodge would bring.

When he was done being dressed, John brushed him off and sent him on his way, and with a minute to spare, he found himself waiting at the end of the hall by the stairs, waiting for Regina--and once again, that feeling of dread consumed him.

But before he can linger on it, their bedroom door opens and Regina steps out in a sage green dress and white lace gloves, and a choker that matches both. Her hair is swept up and her cheeks are a bit flushed from rushing, and he can tell that she’s nervous.

“Are you ready, m’lady?” He asks, offering her his arm.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she replies, linking her arm through his. “Shall we?”

He nods and leads her down the stairs and before they even reach the bottom, he can hear voices from the drawing room. The men and women are all together, not separated as they usually are for pre-dinner conversation and drinks, and though he considers it odd for his father, it doesn’t seem so odd for the younger and much more modern woman he’s been courting.

The butler opens the door--and for a moment, he’s distracted momentarily by someone other than Edgar being in the post. He shrugs and offers an awkward introduction in an effort to conceal his surprise to find anyone other than Lawrence in the post--and immediately, he’s met with emotionless Edgar, sir as the new butler supplies his name.

Regina giggles at the awkwardness as they step into the room, and then, she freezes.

“Ah,” a hearty laugh rises from somewhere in the crowded room. “The entertainment for the gentleman’s arrived.” Robin’s jaw tights as his eyes fall to Jefferson Hatfield standing with a group of men by the hearth, clearly drunk as he raises his glass in the direction of Zelena, his drink sloshing upward. “I’d no idea this was that sort of party!”

Robin steps forward as the room falls quiet--and aside from a few uncomfortable laughs from the men he stands near, everyone just stares at him and Regina. Once again, his jaw tightens as he takes a step forward and his hands ball into fists as he fantasizes about what it’d be like to let his fist sail into Jefferson’s jaw as he knocks him to the floor, but before he can respond, Regina’s voice breaks the silence as she pulls away from him.

“I… I think I’m going to be sick.”

He turns, but she’s already gone--and then, when he looks back into the crowded room, his eyes fall to his father and Zelena. His father’s eyes are wide, but his jaw is tipped up haughtily and Zelena looks completely pleased with herself.

“How could you?” He manages as his eyes meet his father’s. “How could you be so cruel?”

“I--”

He doesn’t wait for a response. Instead, he turns on his heels, stepping quickly from the drawing room and jogging up the stairs. He stops at their bedroom door and finds that it’s not shut all the way, and through the crack, he can hear her crying.Taking a breath, he slowly pushes the door open, and when Regina comes into view, his heartbreaks.

She’s on the floor, her dress pooled around her. Her gloves lay in the floor behind her and she’s holding the wastebasket in front of herself. Her body shakes as she sobs and he can see tears dripping from her chin

“Come on,” he murmurs. “Let’s get you up.”

“No, I--” She flinches as he touches her. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Do what?”

She hesitates, hiccuping as she focuses on the wastebasket. “Talk to you, or… or even look at you.”

“Regina--”

“You must be so angry.”

“I am, but--”

“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice hitching at the back of her throat. “I’m sorry, Robin.”

“You think you need to apologize?” Again, she hiccups and he can hear her struggling against the urge to vomit--and his chest tightens. “Regina--”

“Just leave me,” she says, her voice barely audible. “Tomorrow, we can figure out how to handle this, I just--”

“No,” he cuts in as he moves to the silk cord at their bedside, and gives it a quick tug. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She nods. “Y-you’re right. I… I should… um, I should be the one to go. I’ve no right to--”

“Stop.”

He watches as her shoulders slump forward and she lurches, then a short whimper escapes her, followed by tears when nothing else comes forward--and it’s only then that he realizes that she thinks his anger is directed at her.

He moves back toward her, kneeling down beside her, and before he even reaches for her, she flinches. This time, though, he ignores it, pressing his hand to her back and rubbing gently.

“Regina, I need you to look at me.”

“I… I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Fine, then. I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

He feels her suck in a breath and he sees her eyes press closed. “Because--”

“Because, why?” He asks, rubbing circles against her back as her voice cracks and her words fail her. “Regina, why won’t you look at me?”

She hesitates for a moment, hiccuping as another trail of tears spill down her cheeks. “Because, I… I can’t bear to see the… the…” She stops and draws in a shaky breath. “I can’t bear to see you look at me the way everyone else does.”

“Regina--”

“Robin, I can’t do it,” she says, her voice rising over his. “Not yet.”

His hand presses more firmly--she’s not thinking clearly, and she’s lost in her head. “Regina, please.”

“I can’t--”

“Because of what happened with Jefferson?” She tenses at the mentioning of his name, and he draws in a long breath, slowly releasing it and saying what he should have said months before. “Because of what he said in the drawing room tonight or…” He pauses for a moment, hesitating as he wishes there was something he could do or say to sweep this back under the rug. This wasn’t something they needed to discuss and he hated the pain it brought to her. “Or because of what you did with him?”

At that, she looks back at him with wide eyes--and again, his chest tightens to find them red and teary. “What?”

“I know, Regina. I… I know about you and Jefferson.”

He can see her heart beginning to beat faster as her jaw starts to tremble. “You… you knew?”

“Yes, I’ve… I’ve known for awhile.”

“A-awhile?” she asks, her voice cracking. “How long is awhile?”

“Since before we married.”

She blinks and looks away, and her eyes fall shut. “Oh my god… I… I am such a fool.”

“No.”

“Robin--” A soft knock comes at the door and Regina looks away, and instantly, he regrets ringing for a servant. “I don’t want to see anyone.”

The knock comes again and he sighs, rising up and moving to the door, quickly slipping out of the room and into the hall--and there, he finds Belle and Mal standing before him.

“You called,” Belle says, her voice timid. “I--”

“They’re talking downstairs,” Mal cuts in, her jaw right and her eyes narrow. “They’re talking about what that bastard said.”

He nods. “I’m sure they are.”

“If I had half a mind, I’d get him drunk and in a compromising position, then rip off his testicles--”

“Oh my,” Belle murmurs, swallowing hard as her cheeks flush, clearly unsure of how to respond to any of what’s happening around her. “Um…”

“Is she alright?” Mal asks, ignoring the maid’s discomfort. “Please, tell me she isn’t taking this to heart.”

“She’s… upset,” he tells her, not wanting to discuss what he isn’t sure is acceptable to discuss. “I, um… I was hoping you could bring her some tea,” he says, looking to Belle. “And some caraway for her stomach and something to gargle with.”

“Of course. Absolutely.”

“Bring her something to eat, too,” Mal adds. “She needs to eat something.”

Robin smiles and nods as Belle’s eyes shift to him. “She hasn’t eaten since morning,” Robin tells her. “She’s probably not up to eating right now, but she’ll be hungry soon.”

“Buttermilk scones,” Mal says. “She always liked those.”

Robin grins and Belle nods. “I’ll see if--”

“If there aren’t any and the cook is too busy with dinner preparations or otherwise refuses to meet the basic task of her job because of some ill-placed idea of importance, I’ll make them.” Her brow arches as she looks between Belle and Robin. “I don’t care if I’m in the way or taking over her territory. Her opinion doesn’t matter much to me.”

Belle nods and hurries off toward the stairs, and Robin sucks in a breath, looking from the bedroom door to Mal, hoping to wrap up their conversation quickly, not wanting to leave Regina alone for too long.

“You deserve a raise.”

“Hardly.”

“We don’t know each other very well,” Robin begins. “But I’m glad you’re here. You’re good for her.”

“She’s like a little sister to me,” Mal tells him. “And if anyone hurts her--you included--they’ll answer to me.” She pauses. “I wasn’t joking about Jefferson’s testicles,” she huffs. “We women-folk are prone to bouts of insanity when we reach a certain age and I’ve got more than enough money to escape to the depths of India and finish off my life in a nice little bungalow in the jungle.” She grins. “And I’ve always wanted a pet leopard.”

“Noted--both about Jefferson’s, um… testicles… and my own.”

“Good,” she says, nodding as though they’ve come to an agreement. “Get back to her and let me know if there’s anything--murderous or otherwise--that I can do.”

“I will.”

He waits for Mal to disappear and then turns to the door, slowly opening and it and pushing into the room. Regina’s moved herself to the bed and she’s sitting on her side, facing the door. Her face is red and tear stained, her shoulders slumped forward and her knuckles are white as she tightly grips the edge of the mattress. She’s still crying and looks so small, and all he wants to do is take away her pain--and though he knows he can’t actually do that, he hopes that she’ll let him try.

“Oh love,” he murmurs, crossing the room toward her and sitting down beside her. “Oh, love, I’m sorry,” he says as his arm stretches around her shoulders--and he breathes out a small sigh of relief when she doesn’t recoil.

_____

For awhile, they just sit together and neither says much of anything.

Aside from the occasional, you’re alright and just let it out he doesn’t say much, understanding that this moment isn’t meant to be about him or his needs. He can’t begin to understand her feelings, but he can be empathetic, and he knows her well enough to know that pushing her to discuss about something she’d not yet ready to discuss.

So he waits for her to start, understanding he may wait forever.

Truthfully, he meant it when he said she could keep her secrets, and if in the morning, she wanted to pretend none of this had ever happened, he’d gladly pretend right along with her.

But he knows that won’t be the case and he hopes that she won’t wallow in her own self-loathing for too long.

Belle comes in with a glass of salted water for her to gargle and a spit bowl, as well as the caraway and tea--and on her heels, Mal follows with a plate of scones. He can still see the steam rising up from them, and he doesn't want to ask who made them.

In a barely audible voice, Regina thanks then excuses Belle, and Belle hover for only a moment before turning out of the room. Mal, however, lingers a bit longer. He can’t help but notice the way she watches him rub absently at Regina’s back--watching as through assessing whether or not her opinion of him needs to be reevaluated--and when she finally looks to Regina, everything about her demeanor softens.

“He’s not here anymore,” Mal says plainly. “He was asked to leave.”

“Who asked?”

“I’m not sure,” she admits as her eyes shift back to Robin. “But apparently, not everyone appreciated his little outburst.” She grins. “So, at least for tonight, I won’t be booking my passage to India.”

“What?”

Robin chuckles softly as Regina looks up at Mal, who smiles warmly as their eyes meet. “Nothing for you to worry about,” she assures her before looking back to Robin. “Take care of her.”

“Otherwise, you will be booking that passage and I’ll be in a considerable amount of pain,” he says, nodding. “Got it.”

Regina blinks as she looks between them and Mal chuckles softly as she leans in and whispers something into her ear, and when she pulls back, she offers her a quick wink before excusing herself to go get the boys ready for bed.

“You must think I’m such a damn fool,” Regina says, looking down at her lap as the door closes. “I--”

“I don’t think that.”

She scoffs, obviously not believing him. “When did you find out?”

“About--” Her eyes widen incredulously and he stops, nodding his understanding. “Um, not long after it happened, actually.”

“So, when you proposed, you… you know that… that I’d slept with him?” Robin nods. “And did you know why?”

His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he just stares at her. “He… mentioned that when he said the rest.”

“Oh, god--”

“Regina--”

“So, this whole time, you knew.”

He nods “I… didn’t realize this was the thing you’d been keeping.”

“And if you know about Jefferson, you… you know about…” Her voice halts.  She’s not listening and he wonders if they can make it through this conversation without him having to reveal what he thought she was keeping and if that particular wound can stay shut. “I’m sorry.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to,” he tells her. “I meant it when I said your secrets were yours for the keeping.”

“Well, it’s out now.”

“But you don’t have to share the details. They don’t matter.”

She nods, batting her hands over her eyes as she sniffles. “I might as well say it before Zelena hosts another dinner party and… invites someone else.”

He hesitates for a moment. “Does that mean that… that there were others? I mean, I thought there might be, but--”

“Not… to the same extent, but yes. There were others.” She sucks in a breath and her eyes press closed. “Damn it,” she hisses as tears seep from the corner of her eyes. “I can only imagine what you’re thinking after I… I refused to…” Her voice cracks then halts. “With you of all people.”

Clearing his throat, he shifts. “I can only assume you’re referring to the fact that you and I aren’t sleeping together, and--” He sighs as he considers it. It hadn’t ever occurred to him that because she’d slept with other men that should mean she should sleep with him. “I’d like to think you’ve more agency now, that you’re not as desperate as you were then, and... that you feel you’ve options and are able to refuse.”

Regina looks back at him, blinking away her tears. “Able…”

“We’ve sort of danced around it all evening--and please, don’t take this as some sort of judgement or even something you have to answer--but I’ve been operating under the assumption that this was all a… a business transaction of sorts.”

For a moment, she just stares at him, the scoffs. “That’s a very nice way of saying that I was a prostitute.”

“Regina--”

“Robin, that’s what it was.”

“I know,” he murmurs “I just--”

“Just assumed.”

He blinks and sighs. “It’s the story that Jefferson told. It could’ve been embellished. There were certainly parts of it that seemed--”

Regina’s eyes widen and his voice trails off. “What did he say?”

“Just that,” he murmurs. “Just that he paid… for…” Regina looks away and he feels his stomach tighten. “We don’t have to talk about this.”

For a moment, she doesn’t reply and he thinks that, maybe, it’s really over and then, she looks back. “I didn’t sleep with the others. It was… a business transaction, as you put it, but I didn't sleep with them.”

“So, you--”

“Let them… touch me and I…”  Her cheeks flush and she looks away. “Did whatever they asked me to do to them.” She shrugs. “Then they paid for the service and were on their way, and I went upstairs to my son.”

“Right--”

“Mother of the year,” she scoffs. “I left my baby sleeping upstairs so I could go and… pleasure drunk men.”

“Regina--”

“It’s true.”

“I don’t think it’s as black and white as that.”

“I did try to find other work, it’s just… it was hard,” she tells him, looking back as she blinks back her tears. “I couldn’t bring Henry to a maid’s job or even to a laundry, but I also couldn’t leave him alone during the day, and… it’s not like I could pay someone to watch him.” She paused, taking a breath and batting the backs of her hands over her eyes. “And even if I could find someone to watch him daily, he wouldn't let me leave. I had to wait til he was asleep.”

“Wouldn’t let you?”

She nods. “He was young and he didn’t really understand what happened to Daniel. He just remembered that one night his father tucked him into bed and then the next night, he was gone.”

“And Henry thought you’d permanently leave him, too.”

She nods. “Even just working as a barmaid in the tavern was hard.”

“I’m sure--”

“He’d wake up hysterical and he’d cling to me and--”

“How could you leave him like that?” Robin supplies as her voice fades. “I can’t imagine.”

“And I was always so tired. I wasn’t sleeping and--” Her tears start up again, and this time, it's he who wipes them away, smiling warmly as he does, trying to conceal his own heart breaking as she recounts her story. “One day, I was dressing Henry and… his pants were too big.” Her eyes fill with tears at the memory.  “He was getting smaller when he should’ve been growing bigger and--”

“You did what you had to do to support him.”

She nods. “The other girls who worked in the tavern used to do it, too--so, one night, I agreed to go into the a little back room with this old, drunk man and he laid back in a chair and… and the next morning, I bought a loaf of bread and a couple of eggs, and made my son breakfast… and… for the first time in months when he asked for more, I didn’t have to say no.”

“So you did it again.”

She nods. “And again and again until Jefferson.”

“And, after Jefferson?”

Shrugging, Regina focuses down on her lap. “Jefferson didn’t actually… happen,” she admits. “Not fully. It was all set up, but Henry woke up as I was going downstairs to meet him. One of the girls thought I’d misunderstood the plan and sent him up.”

“Henry was there?”

She nods. “He was asleep again, so I let Jefferson in. I recognized him and I could tell that he recognized me, but neither of us said anything. Then, in the middle of it, I heard Henry waking up and--”

“Oh, no…”

“I wanted to stop. He didn’t and--”

Robin’s eyes narrow, and he feels a lopsided little grin tug at one corner of his mouth. “You broke his nose.”

Regina’s jaw drop open. “He told you--”

“He told me that he’d gotten into a bar fight.” He pauses as her brows just upward in surprise. “Just so you know, in his version of it, you were a big burly man who walked away in much worse shape than he.”

At that, she scoffs. “Aside from some truly bad sex, I was fine.”

“He didn’t hurt you?”

“No,” she says, shaking her head as a little grin edges onto her lips. “I was the stronger of the two of us, and his nose broke with just one swing.” She pauses and her eyes narrow. “It’s worth noting that he was very drunk.”

He feels a little bit of pride rise into his smile. “He got what we deserved.”

“And then, apparently, he told the world, and I got what I deserved.”

“No,” Robin says as he reaches for her hand. “You didn’t deserve the way some have treated you.”

“That’s debatable.”

“It’s really not.”

“Everyone has secrets. Everyone’s done things they’re not proud of.”

“Maybe,” Regina murmurs. “But the thing is, had my father not showed up when he did, I’d have tried it again. So when you consider--”

“No,” he cuts in. “Don’t kick yourself when you’re down.”

“But I would--”

“No.”

She musters a sad little smile, then nods and focuses down on her lap. “The only part of it I regret is the impact it’s had on Henry… and you.”

He remembers a story she told him months before, a story about how when she’d returned to Dragon Head her father invited over a few friends with grandsons about Henry’s age, hoping to arrange a playdate. But no one had come. The inevitable gossip wasn’t worth an afternoon of fun--and the story had repeated whenever she took him to the park. Whenever Henry joined in play, the other children all went away, and it hadn’t taken long for Henry to stop trying. He even noticed it after their marriage, how the boys who Roland frequently had playdates with suddenly stopped responding to invitations. A reason was never offered, but it the reason was understood. But Roland had Henry. The two became fast friends, and all else was forgotten...

“Me?”

“I know that people whisper about me behind my back, the things they gossip about and the stories they embellish and--”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

“You bear the brunt of it.”

“I don’t care if--”

“It’s embarrassing, Robin. Even if you won’t admit that.”

For a moment, he doesn’t reply. He’s not entirely sure how to respond, or at least, what he could say that she’d actually believe--so, instead, he reaches out, and tips her chin toward him. “Regina, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us, and marrying you was the single best decision I’ve ever made.”

“You can’t be ser--”

“And quite frankly,” he says, his voice rising over hers. “I should count my lucky stars that you agreed to marry me.”

“You’re lucky that I accepted you?”

“More that you were forced to accept, but those are just details.” At that, her eyes roll and he chuckles softly before turning serious again. “Because from where I’m sitting, all I can see is that I’m not good enough for you.”

She blinks. “What?”

“Everything you did, you did to survive and so that you child could survive.”

“And what about what I did with Daniel? Intentionally or not, I’ve created a pattern of behavior that--”

“I don’t think you did anything wrong with Daniel. You fell in love, you married, you had a baby.”

“Except not in that order.”

He shrugs. “Semantics.”

“You’re impossible,” she says, her eyes rolling. “And I still don’t see how--”

“I cheated on Marian.”

Regina lets out a shaky breath as her eyes widen and he watches as she processes his words.

“I should add that it’s not a mistake I’d ever make twice, and that I was in a very bad place at the time, but when it comes down to it, I did it out of self-pity and to make myself feel better. So, if we’re going to compare sins, I think I win.”

“I…”

“We all have secrets, Regina. We’ve all done things that we’re not proud of.”

“But--”

He takes a breath and grits his teeth, hoping he doesn’t regret his choice to tell her. “Does that make you feel differently about me?” Blinking, she looks to him, her brow furrowed and million questions sitting on her lips. He stands, rising up from the edge of the bed and moving to the night stand. He can feel her watching him as he pours a cup of tea. He settles it at the center of a plate and chooses the biggest and fluffiest scone, then sets it next to the tea. “I’m sure you have questions.”

“I… I do,” she says, nodding as she looks up at him. “I don’t know where to start.”

He grins and hands her the plate. “If you have eat this and put something in your stomach, I’ll tell you about it.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I’ll probably still tell you since I’ve put it out there now,” he admits. “But you haven’t had anything since morning and you’ve puked all that up, so--” Regina grimaces and he chuckles softly as he sits back down beside her. “Besides, this is a long story and you’re nicer when you’ve got a full stomach.”

Her brow arches. “Am I?”

He nods. “Everyone is.”

“Oh…”

“So, you’ll eat?”

She nods as her finger trails along the edge of the scone. “You really cheated on her?”

“Once.”

“Oh.”

“So, too many times,” he sighs. “I’m waiting for you to actually take a bite.”

“You should’ve chosen a more appetizing story,” she murmurs, focusing down on the plate. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you should know,” he murmurs. “And because I get the impression that you have me on something of a pedestal and--”

“You want to knock yourself off of it?”

“More like level the playing field.”

“And prove you’re just as terrible as me? Because if that’s your goal--”

“I don’t think you’re terrible, not at all.” She looks back at him and it’s then that he realizes she doesn’t see the two things as similar--she still see her sins as worse than his. “I asked you if knowing something like that changes your opinion of me,” he says. “Does it?”

She draws in a breath. “I’m sure you had your reasons.”

“Not a good one, but yes. I had my reasons.”

“So, go on then,” she says, looking up at him. “Explain.”

“Eat first.”

“Robin--”

“Regina, you need to eat something.”

“I feel like you’re stalling.”

“Maybe,” he admits. “But now that I’ve put it out there, there’s no taking it back.”

“No, there isn’t.” She sighs and looks back at him, then lifts the scone and takes a little bite. “For the record,” she murmurs. “While I am surprised, it doesn't change anything. You’ve been good to me and so, so good to my son, and because of that you could’ve murdered entire villages and I’d have you up on a pedestal.”

“And you can’t accept that maybe--just maybe--that’s how I feel about you?”

“You’re the one who did the rescuing. I’d have never seeked you out or--”

“So, because I bought your hand in marriage, that makes me the better of the two of us?”

“I don’t think you fully realize how few options I had available to me, to my son… and…”

“And I don’t think you have any idea just how much I love you.” She blinks, and she looks taken aback by his declaration. “You saved me just as I’ve saved you. There have been a few incarnations of myself before this current version, and I haven’t liked very many of them. And then you came along and finally, I was someone my son could be proud of, someone he could look up to and aspire to be like.”

“You give me far too much credit.”

“Which is all deserved.” Her lips part as if she’s about to protest, but he shakes his head and clears his throat, preparing himself to recount one of the darkest chapters of his life. “So, tell me. What do you want to know about Robin Locksley before Regina Mills came into his life?”

She blinks, considering it, as she takes a sip her tea--and he hopes whatever comes next isn’t as painful as he expects.

#oq ff #outlaw queen #oq au #regency au #hcba verse #robin hood #regina mills #oq fic

[deeperthanloveff]

Chapter 43 (iPad Post)

Robin

“Mmm good morning papi” I moaned as Chris kissed my lips eagerly.

It was currently 6am and Chris was in between my legs greeting me with delicious kisses. He tasted like mint and smelled like Irish spring soap. He rested his naked body on mine and smiled at me “you look sexy with this bed head and fucked good glow you got going on.”

I blushed and wrapped my arms around his neck “what you doing up so early.”

“Well I was going to go to the studio to start rehearsals for this Tidal show in a few days, but then I saw you laying here naked and couldn’t help myself.”

I rolled my eyes and he chuckled before kissing me again “Damn, I love you Melody.”

“Te amo back papi” I said as he buried his face in my neck kissing my sweet spot. My breath caught in my throat and I prayed he wasn’t teasing me. My prayers were answered because I could feel him slowly sliding inside me and I closed my eyes savoring the moment. He grunted and rolled his hips slowly the way he knew I liked it.

“Baby” I whispered as I wrapped my right leg around his waist pulling him deeper.

It hadn’t been all but a few minutes but it took nothing to have me wet for this man like no other. “Look at me” he said as he made sweet love to me.

I gasped as I opened my eyes making eye contact with the man of my dreams. I caressed his flawless freckle filled cheek and dropped my bottom jaw as he hit my g spot repeatedly “mmmm right there.”

He lifted my left leg and ground his hips into me and I earned a sexy grunt followed by “pussy so good baby.”

I bit my lip “it’s all yours.”

I know he was purposely gentle this morning because we normally would tussle in these sheets, but I appreciate the tender love he was showing me. I knew it was his way of letting me know he wasn’t going anywhere. I knew he was showing me how much he loved me, and I knew he was savoring this moment to solidify us. Today was our last day alone and I had no intention for us to leave this house, his rehearsal could wait.

My walls clamped down on him and he groaned “fuck, give it to me Mel. Let that shit talk.”

I began moving my hips to meet him as best I could from beneath him and I dug my nails in his lower back. Chris was currently thrusting himself in and out my core at a deliciously slow and forceful pace. He kissed my neck softly, gently nibbling on it before whispering in my ear “I love you baby, I need you, I can’t be without you. Fuck, it’s so wet. I love this gushy ass pussy.”

His voice was low and husky and it was making my body heat rise like crazy, I felt like my body was on fire “Oh, Chris fuck, ju-ju-jus-just like that papi.”

I looked down at the mess I was making, and it looked delicious. The way his long, thick, shaft was exiting and entering me felt so damn good. He smirked and looked at me “you like that huh?”

I grabbed at the sheets so hard I pulled one corner off the bed, but that didn’t stop my baby from pleasing me. I nodded my head yes as I caressed the sides of his face while his hands were caressing my sides and my ass. I sucked and pulled on his bottom lip as I looked him in his eyes. Chris let out a deep grunt as he stoked me. His dick massaging my walls. I was soaking him up and he was just making me wetter by the way he was rolling his hips into me. My back arched as he went deeper and faster into me. I scratched down his back, moaning in complete pleasure.

He grabbed both my hands, putting each hand in one of his as he intertwined his fingers in mines. My hands were above my head and we were squeezing each others hands so tight. He rocked my body with his mean strokes. The sweat that was on his chest glistened dropping down on me. His body hovering over mines, his dick moving in and out of me so swiftly. My moans were turning into cries of pleasure. My fingers stretching out as he squeezed both of my hands with his.

“Yeah, that’s it cum on my dick baby” he said before kissing my lips.

“Mmmm, mmmm, more” I cried out allowing my hands to run down to his behind.

He knew my body so well and I was indeed in climax mode, but I was trying to hold out as long as I could. Morning sex was like being on cloud 9. This man could make my body do things I didn’t even think possible. After almost 8 years the desire I have for him to be in my bed is still the same. He was currently sucking on my breast and leaving love bites on my chest.

I couldn’t take it anymore I was peaking and fast “I’m cumming, please don’t stop! Don’t ever stop.”

He looked down and groaned as I released all over him creaming his shaft literally “oh fuck, I’m gone bust baby, damn look at that shit you creaming!”

“Quiero que te corras dentro de mí papi” I moaned in his ear as I rode out what felt like the strongest orgasm I’ve ever had and felt him releasing inside me.

He pushed my messy hair from my face and kissed me deeply “Nobody but you baby, ever again ok?”

My eyes filled with tears as I shook my head yes “nobody” I replied as I held onto him and kissed him.

He slowly pulled himself out of me and I arched my back from the sudden movement. He kissed me again before letting me know he was going to get a rag to clean me up. He quickly returned with a warm wash cloth and wiped me clean furrowing his eyebrows with focus. I giggled and he looked up “what?”

“You look so serious like when you’re thinking about what to paint” I said making him laugh.

“My fault baby, I was trying not to hurt you. You sore?”

“Not that much, I’m ok. Come hold me though.”

“You think you slick you want more sex” he said making me laugh.

“I really want you to hold me, but that works too” I said making him chuckle as he proceeded to climb up the bed and pull me close. I rested my head on his chest and threw my leg up over him.

“Baby can I ask you something stupid? It’s really been weighing on my mind” I said circling the tats on his chest.

“Mmm?” He groaned eyes closed enjoying my touch.

“Did you blame me ever for what happened with Kae? A part of me still feels like you love her just as much as when I walked in and saw you guys laughing and kissing at India’s baby shower.”

I knew I was stirring up the pot here, but our therapist said that we needed to communicate. I was always shaky about this, and I knew pretending like it didn’t bother me would cause problems.

Chris

Inside I was searching for the right answer, but the right answer wouldn’t be good enough.

“Um I’m not understanding what you mean exactly. Are you asking if I blame you for our breakup or my son?” I asked opening my eyes when her soothing touch halted.

“Both” she asked nervously.

“Mel I was marrying her whether you want to hear it or not. I took time to build a life with her and I was going to start over. Now yes, I do think that had you not put me on the spot we wouldn’t be here. Do I blame you for the loss of my son, no I blame myself because I let her leave. My son would be just fine if I hadn’t let her walk away from me. But I don’t regret this and us right now at all. I fell in love with you and never fell out to be quite honest. I got you back and I’m not letting you go again, so please don’t let her be the cause of our demise again. I will always love her she’s the mother of my children here and gone, but she doesn’t hold a candle to you.” I said looking her in the eyes.

I could feel her body that was very tense as I spoke relax completely and I knew she heard what she needed to hear from me. People don’t understand it, but Karrueche always kept me from spiraling out of control so I’d run to her. It was easy to put my problems on her because she never told me no or made me feel like I was worthless. I loved her because she had my back. I cheated on my wife with her and felt no remorse behind it because I felt like my wife wasn’t even my wife. I was angry going through so much and selfishly wanted everything to be about me.

In rehab Karrueche was there warm and inviting so we had hot cheating sex and I got her pregnant. By that point I had realized I was wrong beyond measure but it was to late I had made my bed. Robin wanted out and no matter what I tried or said it wasn’t working. I had broke her already broken heart again. I wasn’t the guy that saved her from her terrible past anymore I was apart of the pain she was trying to move on from. Years had passed and raising my daughter with Kae allowed me to see things I’d never noticed before and I began to fall for her.

So here I am loving two people confused. If I left Kae I’d just be repeating the cycle so I stayed, got her pregnant again asked her to marry me and treated her the way she needed to be treated. The day of the baby shower I wanted to reach out and beg her not to leave me, but I knew I would never love her the way I did Robin. I also thought that Robin was just doing everything to say she got me, but through all the crazy shit of her trying to get me back I wanted her too. I was just upset, upset she left me in the first place. So now I lay here holding her naked body against mine and I’m not gonna let anything allow her to walk away again. Through everything it’s been her and she is my everything.

“So what are we Chris? I need to know.”

“You’re my woman and I’m your man. You can quote me. I want us to get to know each other again and let what ever happens happen.”

Just as she opened her mouth my phone blared on the nightstand with Trey popping up and I answered “yo bruh what’s good?”

“I know you’re having romantic weekend with ol’girl but Kae is in trouble and you need to get to the hospital now. She overdosed on those painkillers man!”

I instantly got dizzy “wait what?”

“Nigga get up she’s at Cedar’s” he said hanging up.

“Wait is she ok? Robin asked?” when I stared at the phone like I was being punked.

“I don’t even know!” I jumped up and ran to get dressed. Robin being who she was helped me out the door.

“Be careful!”

I jumped in my Aventador and I raced through traffic and got there forty minutes later. Getting her room information wasn’t hard because the nurse couldn’t believe she was looking at Chris Brown. I walked into Kae’s and to my surprise she was up a staring at the ceiling, which led me to believe she hurt herself after I left her yesterday. Her eyes met mine and tears instantly fell from her eyes. I rushed to her side and held her saying nothing. I knew she wanted nothing but my arms to comfort her. She was scared and hurting. I just didn’t understand why she wouldn’t talk to me. She held me back so tightly I was confused.

“It’s ok I’m not going anywhere” I said feeling her relax at my words.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She held my hands tighter letting know she was scared “I wanted to be with him, you left me and he left me. I should go” she said lowly.

I kissed her forehead “hey I’m here. You can’t leave me and Silver here. You think I can live without you? I can’t don’t say that.”

“No you don’t mean it” she said.

My eyes burned with tears threatening to fall. Why was she doing this shit to herself, to me, to Silver? “No Karrueche I need to you to live. You’re the mother of my children I love you.”

“Not enough to marry me” she said.

I sighed “Kae you gave me the ring back. I didn’t ask for it back baby. Don’t say I don’t love you, I came as soon as you let India tell Trey to call me.”

“I just feel so alone and broken inside, I felt him kick me and he was extremely happy when he heard your voice. I was excited about the life we were going to have and everything just crashed in one day. Just stay please?” She begged making the tears fall from my eyes.

“Ok whatever you need I’m here. I won’t leave you, I’ll never leave you” I said.

We stayed quiet and I held her until she dozed off. At that moment I texted because Robin I knew she was worried.

Me- Hey I’m ok 🙂

Robin Hood 😈💦👅💚- Are you sure? Is she ok?

Me- No she’s real fucked up behind the baby and the breakup. She tried to kill herself. My guess is either Erin or India got to her before she could do the deed.

Robin Hood 😈💦👅💚- Stay with her, be what she needs

Me- You sure?

Robin Hood 😈💦👅💚- Yeah, I know where your heart is and she needs you

Me- I love you girl

Robin Hood 😈💦👅💚- I love you so much more papi 😘

I smiled and rested my phone down before gently running my fingers through her long hair. She was at peace now, but I worried what would happen if I left her. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she hurt herself behind me. The doctor came in to check on her and smiled seeing her finally resting “she’s been up since her friends left her last night.” He said.

“Are you her husband?” The tall blue eyed man asked. I shrugged “something like that, she hates me right now.” He laughed “my wife hates my guts every other day don’t feel left out. Tell you love her, buy her some shoes, and make love to her. She’ll be nice tomorrow.” I chuckled “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“She is high risk, and I’m avoiding putting her upstairs in psych so I’ll continue observing her. She’s rather calm now that you’re here I notice because she’s finally resting, I believe she’s depressed and I’ll be prescribing something to help her.”

I nodded “Thank you doc. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, I’ll be back in a while.” He said before walking out.

I kicked off my sneakers and got comfortable because as much as I thought I should go, I couldn’t leave her here. As I watched her sleep, I felt like I was just the complete reason for everything going wrong for the women around me. I try to be with Kae, Robin falls down the steps. I try to be with Robin, Kae tries to take her life behind that and losing my baby. Maybe I’m better off alone.

Everyone and everything I touch turns to shit. I for the life of me don’t even know why these two women still love me as strongly as they do. Would I love me after all I put them through? I want to fix everything and everyone but I’m incapable it seems. I can’t fix one without hurting the other. I’m here with Kae and I know as much as Robin tells me to stay she’s frightened I’ll allow this to end us. I also know Kae even though she’ll never admit it she wants to wake up from this bad dream and still be my fiancé. I’ve been fucked up and if I would’ve known I could do all this damage I would’ve left Robin in that club, and let Kae go her way years ago. Maybe they would’ve been better off. Shit, maybe they’d be better off now if I just parent my kids and let other men into their lives. I looked at the time and realized a little over an hour had passed and I figured I’d go see about getting Kae moved to a suite so I can get a bed to rest on myself. I didn’t want her to try to hurt herself again or worse they put her in psych so I thought it best I stay most of the day. I still had a surprise for Mel, but all of this was just getting in the way. Just as I tried to moved she grabbed my arm “no don’t leave me.”

I sighed and gently rubbed her forehead “I’m not I was just going to get you transferred to a better room that way we can have a comfortable room to lay in.”

“Come back I’ll beep for the nurse” she said. I chuckled and she smiled thinking she was slick “if you wanted me to just lay here with you so you feel better you know you could just say that.”

She hid her face in my chest as I climbed back into the bed with her allowing her to lay between my legs “I’m sorry I just don’t feel so alone anymore, can you call Trey and check on Silver?”

“I’m so stupid, our daughter could’ve found me. I don’t know how I let myself get so depressed. When you came yesterday I put on such a brave face. I thought I’d be ok. If India hadn’t of showed up like she did I don’t know what would’ve happened. I was literally in the middle of downing the entire bottle of painkillers. She stopped me but I was shaking and breaking down. She had Trey come get Silver and her and Erin brought me here. I’ve been up all night just crying.”

“You’re here now and she’s with Trey & India so you know she’s fine. Besides she obsessed with Indy’s baby girl to the point she asking desperately for another sibling” I said chuckling.

She laughed “we should work on that for her.”

I lightly pinched her “ayeee you gave me my ring back you can’t have no more babies.”

“You told me you didn’t love me like that, what would you have rather I did?”

“I wanted you to trust that I was committed to you Rue. Contrary to what you think I was very happy with you. You held me down, but I get it I needed for you to be the only light in my life. Honestly I would’ve never treated you that way either. Before I got to therapy I was selfish and didn’t understand what more you guys wanted from me honestly.”

“Well I’m glad you get it now, just forget about it though it’s fine now.” I shook my head.

“Nah it’s not, I’m dead wrong leave it at that. Stop downplaying your feelings for me cause you love me. It doesn’t change that I hurt you at all. I got you up here in the hospital suffering from a depression you’ve been dealing with alone. I’m almost never fair to you, I’m sorry baby girl with all I have” I said to her hugging her closer to me.

I knew she was crying I could feel the tears dropping from her face onto my hands “look Karrueche no matter what I love you and want the best for you. I’m done leading you on to no where. I want you to take care of yourself because you have our daughter who loves you more than anything in this world and needs you. I don’t want to raise her without you. I feel your pain. My son was already a huge addition to my world and I never held him yet. I’m broken inside too, but we still have our beautiful baby girl that looks just like you. So don’t get better for me, but for her aight?”

She sniffled “Thank you, and I hear you. I hear everything you’re saying.”

I smiled kissed the top of her head “good.”

I sighed a sigh of relief but shit was still iffy. I still very much so had the same problem I had months ago. Two women vying for the object of my love. No matter what Kae said she still wanted to be with me, and no matter what Robin said she wants our old life back before Kae had my kid. Normally a nigga love the attention but this shit is starting to become way to much. I’m at a lost for what to do and ending every situation with one of these women waking up next to me every morning doesn’t help. I know that Robin waiting for me at home makes me so happy. I can’t wait to push the key and see her there in my t-shirt. I just want Kae to get better and we all move on from this mess because it’s a test of my manhood.

#chris brown fan fiction #fan fiction #chris brown #chris brown fanfic #deeper than love #chris breezy #robin roxette #team breezy #deeperthanloveff #fanfic

[2dmenarewonderland]

Ms or Miss? (Part 2)

Holly’s POV

Entirely underwhelmed at everything that has just been said and rather promptly executed; I catch my breath – a few deep inhales before apologizing to Carson for bursting in and being possibly too problematically enthusiastic on a concept I hadn’t exactly well thought through. Acknowledging Robin’s existence as she leaves makes me feel ineptly inadequate, so make things easier on my insecure self, I let Liam know quietly that I’ll run by some things with him tomorrow and get back to what I were my priorities today – hair and self-loathing.

By the next morning, I’m looking far more presentable – at least I think – than I did the day before. Slipping down into my desk chair, I’m bombarded visually with dozens of post it notes from co-workers who know men they believe would be perfect for the project I’m putting together which would be great if I knew myself what exactly the project was. Men. That’s the single concept that I had. Not exactly alarmingly brilliant but it’s indeed a start. Last night, the idea blossomed a little further upon watching my niece via skype recite the alphabet. The ABC guide to men. 26 letters. 26 men. I’m in deep water if I don’t refine the scope of what I’m intending and even deeper water if I don’t execute this. Goodbye dream of becoming an editor.

Swiping my phone unlocked, I click into my blog and make a reminder to write an entry titled ‘what to think when your career isn’t looking so bright’ and hit save. That’s something I could do tonight, whilst having a bath, sipping on cheap supermarket wine. Right now, I need to focus on real life. Focus on right now. Grabbing a coffee that tastes like dishwater from the percolator in the staff room, I wonder if I should hunt down Robin, or maybe Liam because he seems that ounce friendlier, to go over, in further detail, why I came in yesterday. Walking by her office and reading the boldly engraved ‘Anderson’ across Robin’s door, I knock, waiting for some kind of reply before I step in.

“Robin? You um… in there? I was thinking, we could do an ABC guide to men; like find a guy whose name starts with a, another with b and so on and get them to do a little survey and interview. Make the selection broad. Readers could vote for their favourites who eventually become part of a calendar or something…”

Hearing whispers and jibes flowing throughout the office corridors at what I’m saying, I retreat with a ‘I’ll be at my desk if you’re free’ and wander off, second guessing my ability to do all this. Passing my Carson on the way who asks how I’m doing, I lie straight through my teeth with a ‘fine’ before taking a seat and wanting to have an anxiety attack. Why I let my mother talk me into a career like this – I don’t know. I’m more surprised though, to glance up from my computer screen and see someone; standing there within seconds of taking a seat.

“…are you here to help or mock me?”

Robin’s POV

Nothing beats a beautiful start of day with fresh tulips delivered to my door follow by a sip of latte and assistant in car reporting nothing but good news. Everyone is already in hardwork mode bright and early the way it should except princess Holy Holly who manages to leave the foils out of her hair, I shoot Liam a quick look which he returns with a nod that indicates “I’ve got it under control” but 5 minutes later, she’s sitting in my office and has come up with a new (but initially the same) concept.

“Where are you getting your ideas from? Grade school?” I click my tongue and lift my head up at her silent treatment but realize she’s already out the door and literally looks like a zombie from walking dead. Eyes rolling hard, I shake my head and fire an email to Meyer about his beloved princess and her mood swing.

I could have stopped, should have yet find myself pondering her miserable state and growing desperation to impress. Mumbling a fuck sake as my fingers typing fiercely on the keyboards and click send before I even have time to regret.

It’s not just the tagline or types of men that catch the women’s eyes, it’s the contents and quote that would capture their hearts that matter.

Wether it’s nerds vs muscles or the alphabetical guide to men, the inevitable fact that both pieces would lack depth and unable to connect with readers. She could run whatever story for all I care, it will never sell if her heart isn’t in the right place. And if she can’t figure it out, she clearly isn’t going anywhere.

With a bing notification, I hover my mouse to the new mail from Daddy and groan in annoyance.

Liam Dun’s POV

Babysitting Holly isn’t the hardest task Robin has assigned me, I’ve had worse, so much worse. The lost and unmotivated girl in daze walks around the office in an empty shell, trying hard to come up with the epic idea while her real problem is actually executing it instead of drilling her skull for a new one.

Not exactly in the position to say that out loud, I stand and rest my elbow on her partition. “Neither.” Keeping it simple and blunt, “Your negativity is a kill buzz and that never helps with work, plus, have you check your email? Drinks at Hammered tonight, Daddy’s order.”

#holly vega #robin anderson #Carson Meyer #rp #role play #ms or miss #matt bomer #amy adams

[barisifictionarchive]

Crack Treated Seriously

Swipe Right by Transdodds

(5510 | Not Rated | Complete)

Before they met at Manhattan SVU, Rafael Barba had met Sonnys Tinder profile, and over time he realises he may have misjudged the man and his profile.

How Can I Resist You by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(5511 | Teen | Complete)

“Well, the thing is — I invited my dad.”

All three of her friends gawked at her, though Chelsea seemed to recover the power of speech first. “I thought you didn’t know who your dad was,” she said.

Jesse shook her head. “I don’t,” she admitted. “But my mama always said that it was someone that she worked with, and like, she hasn’t worked with that many guys, you know? So I did a little a digging and I found out who she worked with around when I was, um, made—” She wrinkled her nose at the thought of her mom having sex but carried doggedly onward. “—and I invited the three of them to that pre-graduation party my mom’s insisting on throwing.”

Sonny's Very Bad Idea by soul_writerr

(1146 | General | Complete)

Sonny had gotten his pants tailored to perfection, he wanted it to fit him perfectly, like a glove. And he succeeded; the goddamn pants looked like they were painted on him, and his ass looked absolutely delectable in it. What he hadn’t considered was that the fabric wasn’t forgiving at all, and he was sure the seams would burst at any moment.

Honeymooning With A(n Alleged) Ghost by FreckledSkittles

(9851 | Teen | Complete)

Two lawyers walk into a bar. One of them believes in ghosts; the other things it's horse shit. They plan a paranormal investigation during their honeymoon.

Or: Rafael loves Sonny so much that he will go ghost hunting with him, even if he thinks it's all bullshit. Featuring references and quotes from Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural.

Food Fusions by MollyKillers

(2049 | General | Complete)

Sonny and Rafael finally get together after years of dancing around each other. Rafael asks Sonny not to tell anyone yet as he wants them to have time to figure the new relationship out. Sonny agrees not to tell anyone.

If only Rafael had told him not to subtly imply stuff with his weird food choices.

Saturdays Are For The Boys by UnitedKatesofAmerica

(2083 | Explicit | Complere)

Sonny winced as he straightened up, hand rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck. "Yeah...Mike and I kinda lost track of time after we started taking shots. Go back to sleep, I'll be in bed in a minute."

"Need to go revisit those shots in the bathroom?" Rafael asked as he sat up after Sonny and flicked on the lamp beside him, the bedroom cast into a soft glow with the warm lighting.

"Nah, nah, I'm good, just wanna shower, y'know," Sonny waved him off as he turned and tried to unsuccessfully pull off his top, a pained sound escaping his lips that had Rafael on edge immediately.

He never liked hearing that sound out of the other man.

What Did You Just Say? by soul_writerr

(459 | General | Complete)

Sonny slips up and accidentally calls his boss "mom".

Based off Brooklyn 99's cold opening in which Jake Peralta calls Captain Holt "dad".

Tell Him I Killed Someone by MJ (mjr91)

(369|Not Rated|Complete)

How (only if, of course) Barba REALLY left SVU. Because that episode made less sense than this does. Part of my (so far uncollected) Magic Victims Unit fics, There will be more.

genuine italian by eggplantemily

(719|Genral|Complete)

Sonny isn’t picky. He’s not. But he’s Italian. And there’s are just some things he cannot tolerate.

Out of my Stony Griefs Bethel I’ll Raise by tobeconspicuous

(1682|Teen|Complete)

“You’re crazy,” Sonny cried out.

“With all due respect,” the man scoffed once more. “I’m not the one about to jump off the back of a ship.”

Juicy Sparkles by OhDarnIt

(1927|Teen|Complete)

A glittery assault, a laundromat, and a pair of hot pink short shorts.

Law and Order: Magic Victims Unit by MJ (mjr91) 

(1960|General|Complete)

In the criminal justice system, magically based offenses are considered especially confusing. Hell, magic is confusing. Someone should have warned Olivia Benson about that.

Catholic Girls Start Much Too Late by MJ (mjr91)

(2348|Teen|Complete)

During a meeting in the SVU bullpen, Barba learns some interesting things about his favorite Catholic detective's days in school.

An Italian Werewolf in Staten Island by Skysquid22 f

(2716|General|Complete)

Barba considered himself to be a good lover.

He was attentive; taking pride in remembering birthdays, favorites, and small little quirks that just made him love the person more.

So when Sonny Carisi came crashing into his world he quickly fell into enjoying all his odd mannerisms. He knew that a relationship with him was going to be an interesting one, just from work rapport alone. He expected to be enthralled, he didn’t expect to fall in love so quickly.

He also didn’t expect to discover that he was werewolf either.

You've Got to be Kitten Me by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(2787|Teen|Complete)

“C’mon, sleepyhead,” Carisi crooned. “Open those beautiful green eyes for me, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart? Barba wanted to protest, but instead, the word came out an indignant “Meow”.

What the—

Butterball by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(2884|Teen|Complete)

Rafael Barba is 45 years old.

Rafael Barba graduated Harvard Law School at the top of his class, and has gone on to a successful career in both the private and public sectors.

Rafael Barba has been known to make both perps and defense attorneys cry in the courtroom.

And Rafael Barba is currently hiding in the bathroom, on hold with the Butterball Hotline, and praying that his mother and assorted familial guests don’t decide to check on him in the kitchen.

Unseen by tobeconspicuous

(3074|Teen|Complete)

Realization dawned, and a feeling of relief followed by utter terror washed over Sonny. He looked at Carmen, who had clearly come to the same conclusion, her eyes wide in complete shock.

Barba was the last to realize. “I can’t-- oh.”

Oh indeed. It appeared that Sonny Carisi was Rafael Barba’s soulmate.

Saturday Night Wonder by wormghoul

(3133|General|Complete)

Carisi was used to celebrating without the squad, and usually he could convince himself that it was alright. Tonight was one of those nights where it was okay that he was alone, because after all, who would have wanted to go with him to a drag show?

The Pitstop by ChameleonCircuit

(4538|General|Complete)

“Shit,” Sonny whispered as the engine light, oil light, and another light he was unsure of all started blinking at him.

The car stuttered before coming to a stop.

“That’s not funny, Carisi,” Rafael warned, ghost of a smile still on his face, like he really wanted to believe this was a joke.

Sonny turned the key in the ignition a few times, but nothing happened

“Carisi?” Rafael’s voice sounded the most uncertain he’d ever heard it, and he felt his heart sink.

“I’m sure it’s a quick fix.” He popped the hood before sliding out of the car, phone light lit up as a torch.

--

AKA, the time Sonny and Rafael break down in the middle of nowhere and have to spend a night in a car together.

Waves of Uncertainty by Astronaut_Milky

(5074|Mature|Complete)

“I'm sorry, is there a right way to respond to finding out your co-worker is a vampire?”

Rafael huffs out an exasperated breath. “If that's what you want to call it.”

How Can I Resist You by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(5511|Teen|Complete)

“Well, the thing is — I invited my dad.”

All three of her friends gawked at her, though Chelsea seemed to recover the power of speech first. “I thought you didn’t know who your dad was,” she said.

Jesse shook her head. “I don’t,” she admitted. “But my mama always said that it was someone that she worked with, and like, she hasn’t worked with that many guys, you know? So I did a little a digging and I found out who she worked with around when I was, um, made—” She wrinkled her nose at the thought of her mom having sex but carried doggedly onward. “—and I invited the three of them to that pre-graduation party my mom’s insisting on throwing.”

Instead of Flying Off, He'll Stay by Syrus07

(5871|Teen|Complete)

Sonny's life was not a Hallmark movie. He just had to get Barba to fall in love with him before Christmas Eve.

Discord and Rhyme by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(6142|Teen|Complete)

"You a friend of Barba’s?” one of the guys following Carisi asked.

“Who?” Carisi asked, buying time as he started dialing his phone in his coat pocket and praying that Barba picked up.

“Don't play dumb,” the other snapped. “We can smell him all over you.”

Carisi blinked, taken aback less by the attitude and more by what the man had said. “You can smell him?"

It's the Pelvic Thrust (That Really Drives You Insane) by Eggums

(7076|Mature|Complete)

Sonny meets the man of his dreams and he's singing Broadway hits.

Every Dog Has Its Day by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(7235|Teen|Complete)

Carisi doesn’t believe in magic.

And yet when Carisi woke up that morning, he was somehow a dog. It’s now been eight hours, and he’s still a dog. And Carisi doesn’t really have an explanation for that besides magic. Or a curse. Or a really shitty joke of a fairy tale.

Into Temptation by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(7548|Teen|Complete)

“There's just no point trying to corrupt human souls in Manhattan," Rafael complained to the closest thing he had to a friend, an angel he’d had a run in with over the centuries currently operating under the name Rita Calhoun.

Rita was currently masquerading as a defense attorney; Barba's assignment was being an Assistant District Attorney.

You might expect their positions to be reversed, for a demon to be in charge of defending the worst monsters humanity had to offer while an angel would be the one to send them to what sentence they deserved.

You'd be wrong.

Rita was the one in the business of redemption, after all.

Rafael was more about punishment, of both the earthly and hellish variety.

See Me by Astronaut_Milky

(10152|Not Rated|Complete)

The last figure.

He knows who it is before reaching him.

His back is turned, but Sonny would always recognise those suits, that… body.

He reaches a hand out, desperate for contact.

As he places it tentatively on his shoulder, the figure turns to him.

Just My Luck by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(13711|Teen|Complete)

Rafael Barba is lucky.

Sonny Carisi is not.

When a chance encounter leaves Carisi with Barba's luck — and vice-versa — will Lady Fortune finally get these two to admit the feelings they've had for each other all along?

Swapped by Skysquid22

(13748|Teen|Complete)

Rafael Barba woke up one morning not feeling like himself. Only to realize he really wasn't himself.

Mint on the Windowsill by AHumanFemale & tobeconspicuous

(20077|Teen|Complete)

Tessa could see already that it wouldn’t happen, that Rafael Barba would never be the type to fit in with their family no matter how much Sonny seemed to like him. It was possible Rafael already knew it himself if his demeanor was anything to go by but perhaps he still needed a… push.

Tessa was magic.

Rafael would never know what hit him.

[Or, Sonny's mother is a witch who decides to use her magic to make Rafael miserable.]

Collaboration by Robin Hood (kjack89) & tobeconspicuous

(20494|Teen|Complete)

Rafael Barba is a world-famous classical pianist forced to work with the punk rock band Secret Vicious Unknown, and especially their guitarist/lyricist Sonny Carisi, on a collaboration for Hudson Concert Hall.

For Every Good Reason by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(30775|Teen|Complete)

“Apparently, the powers that be at 1PP, 1 Hogan Place and City Hall think it would be good PR if you and I were to maintain the fictional relationship alluded to in the Journal profile,” Barba said.

Carisi gaped at him. “Is this a joke?”

Barba rolled his eyes. “God, I wish it was,” he muttered.

#barisi #themed list #crack treated seriously #Less than 5k #less than 10k #10k to 25k #25k to 50k

[skylarmiller04-blog]

James Dean- The Rebel With a Cause

In the past few years, Taylor Swift has become a well-recognized singer who appeals to young girls and teenagers. All six of her albums have had hit songs and one of her most recent albums, 1989, stayed the number one hit album for a record amount of time. That album happened to include Style, a song written about Harry Styles and their time together. The song used catchy lyrics, had a nice beat to it, and the words happened to stick in my head. In it, she compares Harry Styles to James Dean by making the reference, “you’ve got that James Dean daydream look in your eyes” (Swift 2014). Not many people can say that they have a look named after them, but James Dean can. As much as I don’t like to admit it, I didn’t really know who James Dean was until I heard Swift’s song. After listening to Style I was curious on who James Dean was and proceeded to research him. I found out that he was an actor in the fifties prior to his tragic death at the age of twenty-four. I don’t know if I could pinpoint what exactly it is that draws me in towards James Dean, but he certainly interests me and I hope to figure out why. Even though he died at a young age, James Dean is considered “a Cool original,” to many people, like Pountain and Robins, the authors of Cool Rules: Anatomy of an Attitude (70). Not only has he had songs written about him, like James Dean by the Eagles, but people, like James Franco, have styled themselves after him. Having managed to become an iconic actor after starring in only three movies, Dean’s level of influence is unprecedented. Something I have noticed about James Dean is that there is not just one thing that draws my attention towards him. Not only was he attractive, but he was also a rebel both on the screen and in real life. As sad as it is to admit it, I have not met a rebel and am starting to think that I haven’t met any rebels and cool people because the first thing they tend to do is drop out of school and I have been in school all of my life. Something that is essential to cool is dropping out of school, which Gwendolyn Brooks argued for in her poem, We Real Cool, by writing “we real cool. We left school” (1). It’s a known fact that cool people tend to drop out of school; just look at Rihanna, Charles Dickens, and Elton John. They chose to abandon the education system to pursue their passions. And let’s not forget that Marlon Brando was expelled for riding a motorcycle down his school’s hallway. The bottom line is that cool people do not stay in school. Whether they leave voluntarily or not, they are still leaving and that is what matters. So it is no surprise that in 1951, James Dean dropped out of the University of California, Los Angeles to pursue acting. That was a cool move on his behalf, and his acting career skyrocketed afterwards. If I were given the option to drop out, I don’t think I would take it. To me the surest path to success is by attending and graduating college. Sure I could drop out and become the next Steve Jobs or James Dean, but the odds of that happening are low. While this may not be the coolest move on my behalf, I am going to fully commit to school, not just cruise on by. I am going to take a rigorous course load, actually learn what is being taught and not just memorize information for tests, and I am going to be proud of graduating from college. School isn’t for everyone, that’s why people leave it when the opportunity arises, but others stay in school and that’s fine too. Despite what Brooks argued, I don’t necessarily think school is uncool. I think it has more to do with the amount of effort people put to their education. If one don’t want to put in the work, then he should drop out. But if he stays in the system, he should really commit to it and take control of his learning. After all, control plays an integral role in cool and if people have control over their education, then to me that makes it cool. As aforementioned, James Dean starred in three movies prior to his death- Rebel Without a Cause, East of Eden, and Giant. In Rebel Without a Cause, Dean took on the role of a high schooler named Jim Stark who recently moved to a new town and didn’t really start off on the right foot there. In fact, the film began with him passed out in the middle of a street where police officers found him and took him to the station (Ray 1955). If that doesn’t scream rebel, then I don’t know what does. James Dean perfected the role of being a rebel in Rebel Without a Cause. The title of the movie clearly speaks for itself and James Dean set the path for teenage rebels of future generations to come. James Dean was known for being one of the first teenagers in America. In the past, people were either boy or man, girl or woman. But, Dean managed to create this in-between space that didn’t really exist before. Of course people still went through the ages of thirteen to nineteen, but they took on more of an adult role. For instance, when my grandparents were nineteen, they were already married and my grandfather started a construction company. But at nineteen, James Dean was attending UCLA trying to figure out what he would do with his life, kind of like what I am currently doing. Right now, I am at UM trying to figure out what I want to major in, if I want to transfer universities, and what I want to do with my life. These are all major decisions to make in today’s world, but this was uncommon in the past. Teens prior to Dean, and myself, did not have that privilege, they had more responsibilities and had to take care of themselves and sometimes their families. Thus, James Dean created the American teenager. Something worth noting is that Dean didn’t only create the American teenager, he also created the rebel. While some people thought this teenage rebellion was a ploy for attention, and a phase angsty kids go through, others sympathized with Dean and saw him as “a rebel with a cause, and that cause was escape from the suffocating web of family ties, school, suburban respectability and labour discipline that the new ‘mass society’ imposed” (Pountain and Robins 70). In other words, he was rebelling against things I am drawn towards. Just because Dean got to live the life of a teenager doesn’t mean his life was easy. In fact, he was mostly raised by his aunt and uncle after his mother passed away when he was nine. The death of a parent deeply affects and influences a child and I’m sure Dean was no exception, perhaps this is where his fascination with the macabre came from. Also, let’s not forget that while he was living with his aunt and uncle, Dean was molested by Reverend James DeWeerd (“James Dean Biography”). This is another area where Dean and I differ. The most difficult thing I have had to deal with was my parents getting a divorce. Perhaps this was the event that triggered Dean to have sexual encounters with many people, like Marlon Brando, Marilyn Monroe, Steve McQueen, and Pier Angeli, or perhaps that abuse was part of what added to his broody, mysterious, and rebellious aura. Something I find it ironic is that James Dean wasn’t an advocate for teenage rebellion even though he symbolized it. In fact, he advocated for teens to do the opposite and follow the rules. For instance, during an interview with a sheriff Dean was asked how he felt about teenagers speeding. He responded by saying people shouldn’t drive fast because it’s not safe and is dangerous. But he seemed to be a into hypocrisy considering he died speeding in a Porsche. So, while Dean might not have verbally encouraged this kind of teenage rebellion, his actions made him the epitome of it. To me, this is uncool. His actions and words contradicted each other. I hate it when people, like my grandfather, tell me, “do as I say, not as I do.” If I am supposed to act in the way someone is telling me to, but they don’t act that way, then why should I? Perhaps that was why teens didn’t heed Dean’s advice on driving the speed limit. Maybe they figured that if he wouldn’t take his own advice, then why should we? In this instance, I think they were cooler than he was. I’m also fascinated that James Dean’s motto seemed to be “live fast, die young, [and] leave a good looking corpse,” which he did all of the above (“James Dean Quotes”). He was constantly involved in risky activities, like smoking, speeding, and racing, died at a young age, and was quite handsome at that time. It makes me wonder if his mindset made it inevitable that he would die young. If he didn’t die on September 30th, would he have died the next day, month, or year? Once again I don’t have an answer to this, no one does, but when one involve himself in activities like he did, death is a factor that needs to be acknowledged. Something cool that I think James Dean did was that he seemed to acknowledge the fact that life is about balancing living and dying. He, like many cool people, flirted with death. He acknowledged the fact that at some point he will die and there is no in acting like immortality is a thing. My father once told me there are two things you have do in life, pay taxes and die. So when you acknowledge death, you can dance and flirt with it by pushing the boundaries of living that border death. James Dean’s favorite way to flirt with death was by driving fast cars and breaking speed limits. This is portrayed in the Eagles song, James Dean, in which they wrote “along came a Spyder and picked up a rider” (Eagles). James Dean wasn’t nicknamed ‘One Speed Dean’ for no reason. His one speed was fast and that ended up costing him his life. He even received a speeding ticket hours before his death, but that didn’t slow him down. So sometimes flirting with death, means that death wins, but eventually everyone will die. It is an inevitable truth humans cannot escape. No matter how hard one tries, he cannot outrun death, even I am guilty of trying to avoid death. I go to Zumba classes and eat kale and quinoa salads somehow thinking that this will increase my chances of outrunning death, even though I know that’s impossible. This is uncool on my behalf seeing as humans cannot control when they die. But sometimes the unexpected happens and death comes earlier than expected. James Dean was no exception to this. In fact, Pountain and Robins argue that Dean’s “untimely death in a car crash sealed his status as Cool’s first martyr” (70). As aforementioned, James Dean died at the age of twenty-four. This makes me wonder, do we regard him as highly as we do because he died so young? James Dean only starred in three movies before he died. That isn’t a lot to base a movie career on. Think about it, Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood have both starred in over forty-five movies each. That shows that they are both actors have strong acting skills that make them sought after to star in movies, but James Dean doesn’t have that kind of track record, per se. The three movies he starred in, he received praise for, but if he didn’t crash his Porsche on September 30, 1955, would his career have continued to carry on the upward trend it was on or would it have plateaued or even plummeted? While no one knows the answer to this question, it is interesting to think about. Also, James Dean would’ve not only continued to act if he didn’t die, but he also would’ve continued to age. It would be interesting to see what he would’ve looked like as he grew older. I think one of the reasons people, like Pountain and Robins, regard James Dean as “a Cool original,” is because he was and is so attractive (70). Thanks to photography becoming more widespread in the twentieth century, James Dean was captured on film quite frequently, which wasn’t common in the past. These photos show what James Dean represents and why he is considered attractive to many people, including myself. In one of his many pictures, Dean is shown reading a large book, The Complete Poetical Works by James Whitcomb Riley, at a kitchen table while smoking at the same time (Farr). Not only is smoking an act of rebellion, but it is also wildly attractive, especially when caught on camera. The way Dean is holding the cigarette in his hand is almost as if he is dangling it between two fingers (Farr). In fact, he doesn’t really have a grip on it. He manages to hold the cigarette in a nonchalant and subtle way that if one were to glimpse at the picture, he might overlook it. Not only is the cigarette an attractive aspect of the picture, but the glasses he is wearing and the book he is holding are as well. As stereotypical as it may be, when I see someone reading a book, I think they are intellectual and that makes them attractive. And the round eyeglasses Dean is wearing give him a touch of geek chic. Something that is cool about James Dean in this photo is the fact that he isn’t smiling at the camera like most people do. In fact, he isn’t even looking at the camera- he’s reading his book (Farr). That’s a cool move, he’s not being cheesy and smiling like most people, including myself, would do. James Dean’s pose is not the only attractive part of him in the picture. He himself is attractive. He’s both young and handsome, and that essence is captured in this photo, like all James Dean photos considering he did not live past the age of twenty-four. Not only was his face wrinkle free, but his hair was still on his head and he was sporting the messy bed head (Farr). His hair wasn’t neat and gelled back, it was messy and unkempt, standing up in different directions, and yet he still looked attractive, maybe even more so. I think this James Dean is attractive in this picture because he managed to do so in an effortless way. But, I don’t think I would see him as attractive as I do if he lived to grow older seeing as some people do not age well. Another thing worth noting is that Dean lived and acted in the mid-fifties, which was roughly seventy-two years ago. A lot of things have happened in those seventy-two years. People have walked the moon, started carrying phones on them, and constantly use the Internet which was nonexistent in 1955. Society has changed drastically and while people, like myself, may not want to admit it, it affects who they are. If James Dean was born sixty years later than he was, I’m sure he would still be a rebel today, but it would be interesting to see society’s effect on him.