#wanted to kill myself for a week

[beskarfrog]

when your partner bails on bigfoot hunting to go out to dinner with some guy

#dinluke #the mandalorian #digital art #dinluke art #xfiles au #luke's not jealous he just can't understand why anyone would prefer dinner to cryptids #at least thats what he's telling himself #the real question is who is going on a date with din #sorry i haven't drawn anything in like a week #school meds and new job are killing me quickly #so i wanted to do a classic xfiles moment to cheer myself up

[squuote]

i hate making refs. but ill do it. for him

#the stanley parable #tspud #the narrator #tsp narrator #crows art #GUHHH FLINGS MYSELF INTO THE SUN #i have. a lot of notes on my design for him #i do want to draw him in some alt outfit ideas at some point #cause i have a few i also was gonna add to the ref #but god ive been sitting on his design for weeks now #FINALLY settled on the colors holy shit #give it up for killing me sunday everyone

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i have finally landed a job interview and i have Such mixed feelings about it

#on one hand: fucking finally i will be making my own money #on the other hand. sigh. #cant wait to do something i dont enjoy for at least eight hours per day five days a week #clenching my fist and thinking about the things i can buy to convince myself this is worth it #crafts. i can contribute to kofis. art. tasty beverage without feeling monumentally guilty. saving up to move somewhere i want to be #absolutely unprompted #i would add on the pro that id be less of a family disappointment #But that ship has long since sailed. any pride my parents express will just make me uncomfortable/mad so technically its a con! #'finally youre contributing to society' i dont WANT to contribute to society #society is a capitalistic hellscape. society needs a fucking reform #fuckign... biting people... #i belong in the paleolithic area. i would kill it at hunter-gathering. everyone would want me in their hunting/foraging group #id live so bright and fast and then die of eating the wrong mushroom... as nature intended...

[foxspritez]

rushing out the worst colored sketch of my life to make sampard week (day 6: modern/drunk)

#guys I’m gonna be honest my teachers definitely want me to kill myself this week #this was all i had time for HISS GRRR RAWRRR #sampard #sampo koski #gepard landau #sampardwk2023 #gepard x sampo

[finngualart]

🏴‍☠️♛

#black sails #john silver #luke arnold #ink #listen.... #im going to australia next thursday and i will see luke the week after that and im already so excited i think im gonna pass out #this is probably my favourite silver ive ever drawn and i kind of want to keep him for myself lol #but ok i wouldnt want to give luke anything that isnt perfect :'PP #this is his face when he asks max what problems killing him would have caused #and the faint amusement in his face is so funny to me #idk if i mentioned this of late but i fucking love black sails

[yuxinmi]

Soooo sick of school,,,,,might as well shift to my DR tonite :p

#my teachers keep dumping assignments + tests on us for these few weeks before our holidays and its KILLING ME #need some of that deserved freedom in my DR #i can't keep overworking myself like this ahhhh i just want to relax #reality shifting #desired reality #fame dr #shiftblr #shifting #reality shift #shifters #shifting community #shifting realities

[dykedvonte]

did

did you call benny the Town Bicycle because everyone rode him

Yes he is a whore.

If you black widow and seduce him but reject him in the room, he'll say he doesn't need another social disease anyway implying he gets around. He's a good-looking guy canonically, just an asshole, he gets bitches whether we want to admit it or not sadly.

#also like tommy says he thinks bennys being weird cause hes having crazy sex constantly with a girl from gommora i cant spell sorry #and thats why they dont see him for weeks which is crazy and Swank says Bennys probs in heaven chasing angel broads with tig ol bitties if #you kill him but dont convince swank he was being a traitorous dickhead #like say what you want about Benny he gets some #also yes i think every chairman in that building had fucked benny its a silly joke i have with myself that hes the emodiment of Im not gay #but 20 caps is 20 caps but hes just a sex pest poon hound #fallout #fallout new vegas #benny gecko #benny fnv #ask #anon

[shima-draws]

Also it really sucks bc I want to draw but I CAN’T bc I’m in a lot of pain rn. Sitting here like

#AUGHH. I’m still in physical therapy btw. #I was doing p good for a while until I sat in the car for a 5 hour round trip and that fucked my back up SO bad #So I relapsed. And my pain has been Bad for the past couple weeks #Not nearly as bad as it was at the beginning but my pain levels are back up #Which makes me so MAD bc I was at the point where I barelyyy felt it #SIGHS #Well. I’m getting dry needling done tomorrow and that should help #Not SUPER fond of the idea of needles getting poked into my back but at this point I’ll do anything #My therapist says everyone who’s done it under his care has felt a lot better afterwards #And I trust his judgement so. #I’ll be poked and prodded at tomorrow morning lol #I just want this to be over. It started in May. It’s October now #It’s been what. Five months?? FIVE???? #It’s almost been half a year since this started oh my fucking god. Killing myself #Shima speaks

[spielzeugkaiser]

I AM DONE 😭😭 Exam week is behind me, I am literally sobbing, I am exhausted beyond repair, but it is done!! Five more days of work and then I (hopefully) shall have my life back-

#I wanna draw so bad - but I also want to sleep for 14 hours straight #also I should probably really not work next week I landed myself both once at the doctors office and once at the hospital last week #when I said 'I will finish this week even if it kills me' my body was like. 👀 I can do that #but honestly that was my own stupidity also #I could take this to the educational route but let me just say if you do have an infected wound anywhere go 👏 to 👏 your 👏 doctor #that being said I have at least one exam finished with 100% (which wasn't THAT hard) and I can talk about autoimmune responses and then- #I cough and I die #academia yes but absolutely no common sense #i'm still having a fever tho #I wanna sleep till next year

[mafuteru]

just had the most insane 1h 30min moment w this maintenance worker. i wanna move somewhere far away where no one knows me.. SIGHHHH

#he came to my apartment to renew my door + window weatherstrips or whatever #and he starts out w 'you know i had many clients today but i came here first and foremost.. #'i was once in love with your mother you know? so youre important to me too' #i remember seeing him maybe ONCE when i was young. #then he starts pointing out all the stuff he could fix and starts talking like 'ill come by tomorrow. and then next week'. #'ill install a new lamp for you i have a few.. you can choose whichever you like.. ill also paint that doorframe for you it seems old' #KILLING MYSELF LEAVE ME ALONE ? #also he would make so many.. comments... #like 'has a guy ever kneeled like this for you? ;) haha just kidding you should say no when they do' #im rly running out of fake laughs here #all i want is to be left alone in my apartment and YET. should not be this hard but it is #shion.txt

[spacedlexi]

trying to keep all my clemviminnie thoughts contained until i get to episode 3 but

its hard

#telltale was CRAZY for this btw!! the drama of it all ALWAYS gets me #violet blaming herself for her gf/minnies death. clem helps her open up again. starts dating clem. finds out minnie is still alive? #saved violet telling clem she has nothing to worry about and she'll fight minnie if she has to to keep clem and her loved ones safe #kidnapped violet getting brain poisoned by minnie into turning against clem after feeling betrayed and abandoned by her #saved vi shooting minnie to save clem!!!!!!!!! but cant leave minnie behind because she already left her once and she cant do it again #vi begging minnie to stop trying to fucking kill them but shes too far gone. the 3 of them fight to the DEATH!!! #now add all that to the parallels and dark mirrors going on between clem and minnie in the A plot like the tension is off the charts #plus the parallels you can draw between clem and vi but those are less “you are my dark mirror” and more “we are the same i understand you” #HOW are the girlies not still talking about this #you know what i partially blame myself i dont talk about it enough either. i forget how many things ive left in my wips folder sometimes #UGH its all so good violets route just ads so much Flavor to the clem/minnie plotline its Delicious i couldnt imagine it Not being there #i neeeeeeeed to draw them fighting and being gay and maybe bloody even #if u cant tell i really want to get back to that wip i posted a few weeks ago but im Trying to Restrain Myself #i love forcing myself to take things slow sometimes really makes the brain shift into overdrive #twdg #violentine #it speaks

[skitskatdacat63]

Can someone assure me it's okay that I haven't finished any drawings in over a week 😭😭

#apathy :) #its like. impossible to assure myself its okay to take a break #yknow you see other people post so frequently #and you somewhat feel like you're falling behind #i cant keep up waugh #lol tho i wonder if I'll have a sudden desire to draw once finals week starts in a couple weeks #i assure you that when i have to work on a bunch of big assignments #my brain will suddenly be like DRAW DRAW DRAWK #its just annoying when you have a good amnt of freetime and you cant kick your brain into gear #I've been sketching but ahhhh just a lot of concept stuff #i have an idea for a chibi comic but i want to pair it w a full drawing #so uhhh thats never happening dhfjkg not happening for a bit ig #i need to come up w more chibi comics #easier and faster to draw and they dont kill me :) #it just feels lesser idk why #tumblr is my diary atp sry djfkkglg #i used to write down on paper or my notes app when i was in a bad mood #but god that shit is sooooo bitter and i cant reread it at all #theres smth about knowing im putting myself out there that keeps it a bit calmer #and it feels more comforting :) #catie.rambling.txt

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

.

#tw suicide #no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family. #puddleglum hours #personal #its just i was thinking. #tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night. #and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed. #they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just. #what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here. #but i don't want to. i need them to save me #because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in #hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then. #at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me! #but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always. #i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way. #hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think. #because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters #and sometimes i just want to die. #im so tired of living guys. why #editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there #so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least

[sallytwo]

things are gonna be so boringggg on the ship now that i dont have crazy one sided beef with the captain anymore. who am i going to spend my free time obsessing over now..

#i was sooo convinced he wanted me specifally dead. and my freinds were like SAM HE DOESNT KNOW OR CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! #and then over the summer i had to work with him one on one for TWO. WEEKS. and wanted to kill myself. but turns out he's a decent guy #we're chill now. hey what would hop along say about this

[imwritesometimes]

in one week it will officially be one year since I finished a fic edited it & posted it hahaha 😵‍💫😖😞😑

#and like. it kills me that. I had this whole fckn idea for a 5+1 recently for one of my north star ships #and I got the notes all done and had the ideas and even dialogue snippets and could see the scenes #but I just. could never make myself get farther than the notes. ever. I couldn't ever get to actually writing it. at all. ever. #and now I've been sick & bedridden for a literal week and I still haven't done ANYTHING with it #before I would have worked on it! I would have worked non stop! I literally cannot be out of bed for longer than 15 minutes #I would have written another 10 chapter idiots to lovers with a whole intricate plot to weave a romance around #that no one asked for #but now #nothing. #to be fair to myself tho I have been so sick I couldn't even activate my new giga pet #I had to quit playing sims cause I got so sick I couldn't go to my desk. the show I was looking forward to debuted and I can't watch it #cause I'm just fuckin dead. wanted to get the new t0mb raider re-release but I'm so sick I couldn't play it #but it's killing me that I can't make myself write. it is like. why won't you do this? you LIKE this? this was once ur fave hobby! #and I'm just also very tired of being confined to bed for a week and I'm going a little nutty can you tell??? #erin explains it all

[mushed-kid]

i have winter break next week and i wanna have fun

#ive been so sad tinught im gonna have my period soon #im so gonna get it so that it ruins the whole fucking break😭 #its gonna ruin all the fun if i get it next week #it better come tonight i swear #im gonna be with my friends but ill be rude and sad and its gonna ruin everything #i hate being alive #yeah no it’s definitely coming. soon cause im crying about it rn #i just ohhhhmy god does it have to be me???? specifically???!???? #im gonna kill god #can i just get it rn and have it done by the weekend please #please please please let me get what i want lord knows it would be the first time #😔😔😔😔😔 #ong its gonna start tomorrow trust with the way im so emotional rn #i fucking hate myself #i shouldve gone in the shower earlier cause its gonna be So Bad but i have to do it tonight #i wanna fucking kms #sorry im oversharing