#what even was my sleep schedule

[deafening-radio-silence]

I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.

#yeah man make amends for the shit that happened when you didn't even have control over your own thoughts #so she was giving him a way to “fix things” but that wasn't on him to do so #all she did was doubly reinforce what he already thinks - which is a justified but false and guilt-laden perception - about the situation #idk much about therapy but i don't think that they're sposed to do that. correct me if i'm wrong and then i'll go fight all therapists #bucky barnes #tfaws #alpine #my art #thank you for putting up with my drawings of a comic book character and his asshole cat lol #i had to put my dog down recently in a bad way and i can't rightfully get another house dog with my current work schedule #so i got a cat since they can handle being inside for the day and the shelter lady said she's super antisocial towards other cats #she's super antisocial towards me sometimes too but she sleeps on me at night and my house has never been cleaner #now that i have to vacuum cat fur and mind what i leave lying on the counter #i've never liked cats before but she's special i guess idk ain't everyone's cat special lol #anyway i'll stop using my tumblr blog as a blog now lol

[soullessjack]

6am exhaustion posting but it’s very funny to me that jack is compared to so many serpents, the biblical serpent in the garden. the ouroboros. the black snake. and then he loves fantasy movies with heroes that crush villains. he reads fairy tales like sleeping beauty, fairy tales that predominantly have knights in shining armor slaying the dragon or the serpent. obviously with him wanting to be a hero he’d follow the KISH archetype, but also look. serpents are medievally satanic symbols. fairy tales are majority stemmed in European Christianity. He’s literally a dragon that wants to be a knight . A satanic if not Thee Satanic Serpent wanting to be a hero and a Knight In Shining Armor and actively partaking in slaying other beasts for acceptance. this vision came to me with caffeine and zero sleep but do you see it .do you see how this is insane and also funny. Do you understand it …..

#cal.txt #okay goodnight this took like an hour to write bc I couldn’t do words #I am not in a healthy state of mind or body 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 #I have a caffeine addiction and nonexistent sleep schedule and also I am . burnt out every other day !!!! #anyways . #spn #jack kline #spn ramble #spn meta #media tropes #knight in shining armor #dragons #ouroboros #the chicken and the snake #spn 14x14 #supernatural meta #animal motif #Plsase guys does somebody understand this #clutching my head and screaming HE JUST WANTS TO BE GOOD DESPITE WHAT HE IS !!!?!?!!?! #a monster that wants to be a hero . Do You Even Care . #suugghhjfjkgdg #maybe my gummies did kick in #it’s about fucking time it’s been almost thre hours #goondigjttt

[3amsnek]

o look A Guy

click for better quality

reblogs >> likes! don’t like if you don’t reblog

#dragon #original creature #creature design #creature art #original characters #original dragon #oc design #character design #my art? #not me Completely forgetting to post this and many other things here for Weeks #anyways #hey everyone who just rbed that post abt rbing art from me nows your chance :) #money where ur mouth is etc except it’s not even money it is clicking one to two buttons #i even like this one what a. what a fella #i have never known what to call this im very sorry #ahahahahaa hello from my Third Fucking all-nighter in less than a week my sleep schedule COULD and DID in fact. get worse <3 #fucking hell on planet earth. anyways Art

[rongzhi]

The Art of War

English added by me :)

#douyin #video #tiktok #酱油白米饭 #i am trying to edit a livestream in my free time today even tho i was gonna do other douyins first #you know. for variety #for the blog. or whatev they say #but they livestreamed for the first time last night and i just so happened to catch it!!! and then i went to bed at 6am LOL. #it was cute tho. ive never really watched livestreams that much before #i think i'll clip a few highlights and then put the whole (incomplete) unsubtitled video on youtube idk #i'll sub the clips is what i mean #good thing i basically have insomnia in the summer anyway i guess #(i say - as if my sleep schedule is more normal any other time of the year) #the hyperfixation is closing in on me tho AHH AHAH #[scream] #big takeaway is that none of them are trained in anything but self taught parkour. and i think jiang is the oldest? #and was in the military at one point and is the one who taught xiao bai parkour? i'll have to review #fan luda doesn't show his face apparently bc he has low self esteem

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident #I straight up forgot #and just didn't show up to the session #my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked #I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up #my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january #I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted #like mentally and spiritually #all the time #my memory and sense of time are both shit #my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason?? #I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me #I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir #and yet #idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason #fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly #due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me #aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory #it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever #like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype #but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here #doing whatever this is #maybe I should drive out to the coast #maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long #I mean it can't make me worse #I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark #everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone

[grillbyz]

still thinking about the. asgore's winter alarm clock dialogue like. If they ever finish this (please) imagine waking up one day to asgore divorced-reemurr saying "he was... my rudolph" ab some guy he used to know like

"I was... his Santa. He was... my Rudolph." With those sprites. like. Oh he was yours and you were his, huh. Sir. Sir--

hello, sir, what was that about the mistletoe--

Oh so. he uses the same nickname your ex-wife used for you. Is that so. The very same huh---

Oh so you wanted to show him the sun huh. You wanted to hold his hand and bring him to the surface and show him the beauty of the sun didn't you

#undertale #asgore dreemurr #rudy holiday #rudolph holiday #i make this post in an affectionate manner thumbs up #also sorry for the long post but i found this page open in my ten trillion tabs collection and felt so normal ab it #Very aware of what's going on in deltarune as well but just thinking ab. the alarm clock specifically #i have many thoughts ab rudy and asgore in both games but also just #toby fox rly did just give us this #toby what are you saying about asgore toby toby come back here--- #i need. to make post ab rudy and asgore thoughts one day. or draw something. or finish writing things #stares off into the distance i need to finish my kingdings gaster pining fic where rudy and gaster eventually become friends #there are so many thoughts in my head. but also. #going to fix my sleep schedule fr if ut alarm clock ever drops bc dear god #deer god even

[shepards-folly]

the way my friend draws impulse changed my life actually

#shep arts #hermitcraft #hermitblr #impulsesv #impulse fanart #im literally in love with him… (<- said in an aroace way) #the way I fucking perked up so bad when someone suggested impulse as an art req #ive been wanting to properly draw my friends design for him so bad… he’s soo pretty #i definitely did not get the piercings right i always fuck them up #but eh that’s what you get from my late night drawing sessions. its just me fucking up and making my sleep schedule even worse lol #btw i started a project but like not one I’ll ever post here so uh sorry if i die for a bit lol

[avephelis]

*hand raise* um quastion does anyone have suggestion for not getting absolutely exhausted by 7pm it is getting inconvenient

#i sleep well and have a good schedule i eat healthy and enough i exercise and get sun and manage my sensory stimuli AND THEN I'M TIRED #im not even doing that much atm im not busy what is going onn #maybe it's an iron thing. or hormonal?

[hiphopcherrrypop]

they are even in my subconscious… sick and tired 😭!!!

#bucchigiri?! #i woke up and LUNGED for my phone + started typing in ewhatever in notes was open #which was stocking job stuff so sry for the grocery list oops! #if i can secure 4 day work schedule instead of 5 again maybe i will storyboard this based on my memory LOLLL... #but if not i fear i will not have time bc i back to school now #the kabedon was in some place with no one else liek what are yall doing alone in there anyways🤔 #the jabashiri hagure hand holding had like slomo zoom frame of their hands before switching to full shot im cryyying #my sleeping mind is genius i guess #i wish i remember what was the setting of their trip besides brief stop in weird liminal space airport room #if i draw this i'll prob just go BEACH TRIPPP even tho geographically idk that that makes sense #i will have to fill in mental gaps im glad i wrote some stuff down at least #they were out of school uniform but i dont rly remeber anyone's outfit except mahoro had a cute summery dress ^_^

[janiedean]

I'm not even gonna go into the oscars because I knew they were gonna give everything to opp*nheimer anyway and everyone knows my opinion wrt nolan but I am once again not surprised to see them giving absolutely nothing to the scorsese movie which was by far the best of the bunch they truly will never have the spine to give awards to anything even remotely controversial will they

#lmao ofc they would never give (1) prize to killers of the flower moon #that would require actually like being objective #but whatever just seeing that they threw everything at n*lan when poor things was right there... #then again poor things is probably also nowhere near as politically correct as they require for whatever are the oscars guidelines #like i'm glad for emma stone but lord they robbed lily gladstone so badly #but like AT LEAST (1) category where justified loss #sorry i haven't even bothered watching o. and i won't but what i heard is enough for me to know i'd hate it #and there is no way it's a better movie than either of those l m a o #anyway no one is surprised back to our scheduling in which i go to work while wanting to sleep on my feet #sorry martin disney will maybe let you have a career prize in ten years #MAYBE #but at this point idek about that

[thenotsolittlelady]

How do I get things done?

How do I not get stressed about one thing I have to do and have it keep me from accomplishing anything else? How do I manage to buy groceries and take my cat to the vet and still sit down to draw? How do other artists do studies, finish personal work and other projects, cramp in appointments, chores, handle social media and keep in touch with friends without feeling absolutely stressed out...? I can't figure it out. I can only do one of these things in a day and... I don't get it. What is your secret

#wondering what is wrong with me #I've tried making lists #making a schedule #it's not helping #I'll have breakfast and suddenly it's 11 am and I have take a walk and also shower at some point and of course my livestream starts at 9pm #and don't forget to eat and text your friends and there's a letter you gotta send and this email needs a response #oh you wanted to draw or write? sorry day's over get some sleep we'll try again tomorrow #only that it'll be the exact same thing tomorrow #and if I'm real lucky I'll be in a bad mood and manage to accomplish even less than usual #and did I mention I'm not even working? #other people can do it so why. am. I. so. bad. at. this?? #something to bring up with my therapist I suppose

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘ #BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to) #and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’ #and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’ #but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control) #so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

[gayspock]

i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss

#egg.txt #i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in #my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life #but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF. #and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears #i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in #like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like #+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule #it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more) #and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc #i was getting no sleep? 😭 #i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus #cant fucking do it broooo #and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real #i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive #its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy #to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm

[watermelinoe]

i think the circadian rhythm disorder has ruined my life more than the pain disorder tbh

#i think the pain would be more manageable if i was getting good regular sleep #the pain is at its worst when i wake up esp if i had trouble falling asleep #but not having a consistent sleep schedule is a living nightmare #if it was delayed sleep phase disorder it would be perfect bc it would be *a schedule* #but not knowing what my sleep schedule will be a month from now is such bullshit #it's exhausting and isolating and not covered by health insurance :)) #and societally people just think you're fucking lazy and irresponsible #and if you would just do xyz you would be cured #this has been my entire life. farther back than i can remember even. #i was sleep deprived and jetlagged for most of my childhood #which makes you neurotic as hell #but yes if i just follow ur little ~sleep hygiene~ tips i'm sure i'll stop being a lazy pos and join productive society

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[fictionadventurer]

&

#'what do you do for fun?' people ask me #'write 1300 word essays about lincoln's secretary of state' i don't tell them #i am no doubt pushing the limits of your tolerance for american history facts #i'm pushing the limits of my own tolerance for my nerdiness #but i haven't had a fandom this fascinating in years #let me get this out of my system #i feel guilty about flooding my dash with this stuff #i'd feel guiltier except that fandom is kind of tumblr's thing #if i can deal with peoples' ghosts and vampires they can scroll past my presidents #i scheduled the post for tomorrow morning to give you a couple hours' break #i wasn't even going to write it out until i was like 'what other kind of post should i write?' #and the main idea coming to mind was about how the seward-lincoln story was giving me thoughts about some of my ocs #and i decided to cave and just write about the guy himself #it was a lot more extensive and time-consuming than i expected #i got a bit embarrassed when i realized how much time i'd devoted to that this evening #hadn't realized quite how far gone i was #i should really cleanse my mental palate with a fairy tale or two #or at least stop writing these tags and get some sleep