Tumgik
#what i don't know is why we aren't doing it anymore
eloise-t-g · 3 days
Text
long post ahead. i wanted to respond to some of the things i've seen people saying about the watcher situation. i honestly just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest lmao.
"sorry, the bridge has been burnt and i can no longer support watcher" - valid.
"i'm happy with this compromise and will continue to watch their content" - valid.
"oh so they apologise, change nothing, and now people are happy to give them money?" - things have changed. they compromised and completely changed their plan for the new website. did you not watch the update video? they're also issuing refunds to anyone who wants one.
"i bet people who over-reacted feel real stupid now!" - some people over-reacted, but a lot of people had valid criticisms and concerns. they shouldn't feel stupid if they expressed it in a non-abusive way.
"yay, we successfully bullied them into changing their minds!" - you're ... you're proud that you bullied someone? this isn't fucking elon musk or jeff bezos. these guys aren't multibillionaires exploiting their employees. these are three youtubers who want to pay themselves and their employees a living wage, while making content they're proud of, and they made a simple fucking mistake. stop throwing around the term 'eat the rich' as though it applies here.
"the apology video is clearly PR!" - yes, watcher is a business. this is how a business responds to situations like this. they had abuse hurled at them for 48 hours straight, they shouldn't feel bad for wanting to make sure everything said in the video was 100% agreed upon and analysed beforehand.
"steven was clearly the one behind this, he should be fired or step down!" - was he? do you know that for a fact? cause from what i saw, all three of them got in front of the camera and made the announcement video together. i agree that he should step down as CEO, but only because they clearly need someone who has actual business experience leading them (if you remember, ryan and shane stepped down a while ago because they didn't want to deal with that side of the company anymore - in the same video, they thanked steven for being the sole reason watcher was still going).
"they shouldn't have been silent the whole weekend" - maybe so, but it's clear they went into lockdown/crisis mode. also, businesses aren't open on weekends. i think it's fair that they waited until monday and took their time with it. maybe they should have tweeted something like "we're sorry and we're working on an explanation", but that just would have given people another place to attack them.
"you're all being parasocial" - i've seen this used against both people who are supporting/giving the team the benefit of the doubt, and people who are against everything. a lot of people (myself included) have used this experience to realise they were developing/had developed a parasocial relationship with these men. this is a good thing - it allows us to recognise these things and make changes within ourselves.
i think generally people are more parasocial towards youtubers than celebrities in films and tv shows. YT feels like there is a barrier removed between the creators and us; it makes us feel like we know these people in a way that we don't know actors who are always playing different roles. YT makes it easier to believe we're seeing the real people, when we really don't know them at all.
"why should i pay someone who owns a tesla?" - you don't have to. also, steven has been working consistently for years. it doesn't surprise me that he has enough savings for an expensive car. people are allowed to own things that you and i can't afford.
"they're embarrassed to be youtubers" - might be true, who knows. but for me it feels more like they want to be taken seriously as filmmakers/television producers, and don't feel like they can do that on YT.
"there's clearly money mismanagement going on" - i think this is likely. i personally don't know what it's like to run a business like this, which is why i've been watching videos from other youtubers who do. since they're saying they don't know where the funds are going, i'm inclined to believe watcher's budget is way off what it should be.
"why didn't they initially say they were having money troubles and might close doors?" - i can see both sides of this. i believe they should have recognised that their audience would have been more receptive to this kind of honesty. however, if you're asking people to give you money, while also saying the venture might not work out, it doesn't engender a great deal of trust. why should i pay for a 12 month sub if it's possible watcher will fold in 6? who will be around to issue me a refund then?
"we were happy with blue and yellow text on a screen!" - valid, but it's clear that they weren't. they clearly want to push themselves further creatively. on the other hand, it definitely feels like they got impatient and wanted that future creation to start now, when they don't have the funds for it. they shouldn't have tried to force their loyal audience to pay for content the audience didn't ask for.
"i don't want to fund steven, andrew, and adam flying around the world eating expensive food." - very valid. i wonder how different things would have been if this 'Worth It' revival had come around 6 months earlier. it still would have been tone deaf in a global living crisis, but i don't think people would have been this upset. what i don't understand is them doing this show if they genuinely couldn't afford it, which is the implication i got from them announcing it just before announcing the paywall.
"why don't they move their office out of LA?" - that would be incredibly expensive, especially for a company that is struggling financially. they would have to uproot their entire lives, and would probably lose a great number of their staff who don't want to/can't move. they would have to completely start over, which is something i imagine they're desperately trying to avoid.
i think the cancel culture that has grown in popularity over the internet over the last few years has led people to believe that:
they can say whatever they want online with no consequences.
people aren't allowed to make a single mistake, and should understand that when they do, it's okay to for others to spew hate and awfulness towards them.
part of me doesn't even know why i made this post, i think i just got sick of seeing the same complaints and questions lmao.
37 notes · View notes
monstersw1thv1bes · 3 days
Text
so guys how are we feeling? i have a few things to say. my thoughts, in no particular order:
steven said very, very little. ryan and Shane were mostly speaking. but honestly with the hate he's been receiving? i don't blame him. nobody had any proof Steven made the decision on his own and yet the internet unanimously decided thats what happened.
saying you're close to shutting down the company when you've literally just hired new people you didn't need? i mean, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a lie, but it shows very, very poor management at the least.
they need to hire less creative people rn. hire someone to run finance. hire someone to run marketing. hire people who actually know what the fuck they're doing when it comes to making sure a business thrives if you're going to hire new people at all.
you want to be a business, you need to stop thinking like a youtube channel. this is why you can't just start a company with your friends if none of you have business experience in this day and age.
unfortunately when you run a business, you have to lay off people you don't need sometimes. better yet: train people you don't need to do the job you want to hire somebody else to do (my boss does this so you can't tell me it doesn't work). loyalty to your employees breeds loyalty to your company, but you can't just let people keep doing something you don't need them to do if you want to run a succesful business.
if you can't pay your staff, why can you drop 55k on your wedding?
if you can't pay your staff, why can you afford to travel abroad and eat literal gold?
if you can't pay your staff, why are you compromising on your integrity instead of literally any of the expensive things your company is doing?
i love how they didn't once adress that they could literally save money by dropping the shows nobody wants to see. if you have so many loyal fans and some of your shows aren't doing well, you can't just blame the youtube algorithm: that is people actively making a choice not to watch something.
they didn't say anything about the high quality production of shows, either. they would have been completely in their right to say "our goal was always to produce TV-quality content and while we know you guys don't need that from us, we don't want to compromise on that goal" (even though I disagree on them always needing that quality, i would have accepted such a statement) but i feel like not mentioning it at all makes the video feel more like damage control than them actually listening to their fans.
the changes they've now made should have been how they went about this from the start if they were dead set on a streaming service.
i'm curious to see how others respond to this. to me it genuinely does feel like damage control. i'm probably not going to watch them anymore. we'll see how i feel when new content does make it to the plebs who get to watch it for free /j.
51 notes · View notes
irkimatsu · 1 day
Note
Idk if you ever thought about this but how would Husk react if his S/O was super self-conscious about their body? Whether thinking they’re way too skinny or way too fat. I feel like you, as the Husk professional, would know how to answer this because I am the exact opposite of a Husk professional. Much better with Angel Dust tbh.
Oh, trust me, as a certified fatass I have thought about this constantly. How would Husk feel about body types that aren't traditionally attractive?
Thankfully for me, my immediate instinct is that he doesn't care so much - sure, he has some physical preferences, but personality wins over everything else. It's part of why he's not swayed by Angel's initial flirting, I feel. He acknowledges that Angel is physically attractive, but the tryhard flirting was way too much of a turnoff. Conversely, even if he's not immediately drawn to someone's physical appearance, getting to know someone on a deeply personal level will attract him far harder than initial appearance ever could.
Not to say he doesn't see anything attractive in those non-traditional body types, of course. I do headcanon him as liking some squish on a partner for my own personal enjoyment, after all. Especially in the ass department. Husk hates to see you go but he loves watching you leave.
As for self-consciousness... trust me, he knows self-consciousness. I can go with him either being too skinny or overweight; either body type is the result of his awful self-care, especially ever since he lost the bet with Alastor. He drinks too much alcohol, he doesn't eat enough, and what he does eat has no nutritional value whatsoever. Any physical stamina he still has is bolstered by his innate demon powers; his muscles have all atrophied by now. But at the same time, we already know how Husk feels about wallowing alone in self-pity.
"You're not the only one down here who hates their body. Look at what I've done with mine! I got a second body after I destroyed my living one, and now I've gone and fucked this one up too. Maybe your choices led to how you look now, or maybe you just got saddled with a shitty form down here... but either way, hating yourself for it isn't going to get you anywhere. Who even benefits from your self-pity, anyway? Predatory jackasses who wanna sell you shit with the promise that it'll change you?
...I hope you don't feel like you need to change your body just for me. I like ya just the way you are. Love at first sight ain't my style anymore, but after I got to know you... just knowing who you are makes you the most beautiful person I've ever seen, both up there and down here. And besides, I've shown you exactly how I feel about my favorite parts of you plenty of times, haven't I, baby? Maybe I should remind you some more later tonight...?
If you wanna change, I'll support you. I know change is hard - fuck I know it's hard - but I'll be here for you through all of it. You just need to promise me that you're not doing it because you think you're not good enough for me already. And you also have to promise me that you're not going to go buying some shady instant cure potions from the first scumbag you see on TV! You can't trust any of 'em!"
(Thanks for considering me a Husk professional, by the way! I try my best! <3 In turn, thank you for your service with Angel Dust! I try my best by him but I'm always terrified I'll fuck it up... he deserves the best writing I can give him, but I know there's aspects of his life I'll never fully understand and I should be fucking grateful that I don't...)
26 notes · View notes
anjelicawrites · 11 hours
Note
Was rereading the Aemond x reader x osferth tag and came across this:
When still single and drunk off her ass, reader bought a huge one, a 40 cm length and 10 cm girth with thick ridges; that had been a blackout purchase which she forgot about until the package was delivered. The thing has never been used; reader and Osferth love pulling Aemond’s leg, telling him that reader has used it on Osferth (”No one can fit it” “No, not with that attitude!”).
May we please have a whole oneshot talking about this? Cause this would be something I would do and it’s hilarious
Sorry for the long wait!!! I'm not sure I have hit the mark perfectly with this one, the muse didn't want to unstruck themselves from this particular idea!
Warnings: mention of dildo usage, a small reference to reader's abusive ex, kissing, suggestive situations.
Not really NSFW but def 18+ please!
You're sorting out the toys. You've already put the nastier stuff away, under lock and key, away from Aemond's eye, now you are sorting the rest of the stuff you and Osferth have managed to collect through the years; today is a day as good as any to throw out the toys that are too old to be used, so you decided to sit on the bedroom floor and start.
You are not listening to your surroundings, too intent in finishing the task ahead to notice Aemond's light steps coming behind you.
"Are you keeping that?" He asks, his soft voice makes you jump in surprise.
'That' is the 40 cm long and 10 cm girth dildo, with thick ridges you bought and never used.
You were drunk when you bought it, not too long after your abusive ex was out of the picture and you were still trying to sort your out your life; you didn't even remember the purchase and was surprised when the delivery man came knocking a couple of days after: that was the day you had a truly hearty laughter after years of pain.
"Why wouldn't I?" You ask, knowing full well where this conversation is heading. "Because you don't use it and Osferth does neither." "Again? That's slander, pretty boy!" "What's going on?"
Osferth's head pops from the door; you two don't even need to talk, not when you know he's seen the huge dildo.
"Aemond is slandering you." You smirk. "Is that so?" "He is saying I have never fucked you using this bad boy here." You say, grabbing the toy. "I've never seen you two use it!"
Osferth enters the room and hugs Aemond from behind.
"It was before you, my sweet prince." "Is that so?"
Aemond's legendary eyebrow arch makes an appearance.
"Why aren't you anymore? Hmm?"
Osferth nuzzles Aemond long neck to hide his smile.
"It had been a feat, sweetling." You say. "For how long you didn't walk straight Osferth?"
Osferth's head sits on Aemond's shoulder now.
"Almost two weeks. I truly felt it, it was great!" "If it was that great, why didn't you use it ever again? Hmm?"
Now it's Aemond's turn to nuzzle Osferth's neck and leave small kisses on the delicate skin.
"I had to drive him to work, he couldn't ride his bike, and preparing him took a very long time. It was hard work to make sure I didn't harm him, pretty boy." You say. "I still think you two are pulling my leg."
Aemond's voice is huskier, now that Osferth's hands is traveling from his chest to his lower tummy.
"You're offending me, Aemond." He says. "I demand compensation."
Aemond turns in Osferth's embrace and grabs his hips, forcing him to plaster himself against his body.
"I can give you all the compensation you need, beloved. Take your clothes off."
You see Osferth visibly swallow and his cheeks turn a dark shade of pink.
"Are you joining us?" Aemond asks you, barely turning his head. "Nope." You answer, spreading your legs. "Let me enjoy the view."
Poly taglist : @fan-goddess, @notyour-valentine, @anakiinx
21 notes · View notes
sarah-sandwich-writes · 3 months
Note
HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE
I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???
I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H
Okay so
I...
have been cooking
by which I mean illusions of grandeur and
schemes
And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.
I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.
The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home
“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.
Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and
Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.
OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).
Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).
There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol
WHICH REMINDS ME
The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.
And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS
I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa
I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing
I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)
and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)
I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH
anyway
OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think
4 notes · View notes
kaldurcalm · 35 minutes
Text
Someone shared a post about the pear of anguish, saying it was used to torture slaves, and I thought its design was interesting but something felt slightly off, so I looked it up.
The first thing you see when you look this thing up is that its usage is disputed.
Apparently the mechanism doesn't seem to work the way it's said to work? It's said that people would slowly enlarge the opening in order to spread an orifice wider and wider, and that it could even break jaws.
The thing is, this device does not seem to open in this way. It seems to spring open. The screw mechanism is for closing it.
I relayed this information, thinking this was someone who would actually care about fact checking. "It might not actually have worked in this way. Its usage is disputed."
For some fucking dadblamed reason, they took this as me... questioning the existence of racism? And denying the suffering of black people?
I do a little more digging, and it's basically the same thing over and over. One guy insists that it's totally a torture device, because why else would it be in torture chamber museums?
I don't know, buddy, maybe because people like to make up stories and scare others.
That's one running theory for the existence of this thing: people wanted a good story. They wanted to be able to sell that story in order to make money. So they made elaborate devices and charged people to see them, or displayed them in order to scare their guests.
This part of the speculation, by the way, is from medieval times. There are no modern accounts of this item's usage.
We have so many accounts of slavery. We have so many ways to spread information. We're still able to converse with some of the children of the people who are still alive. We can still see the documents they left during that time.
Why would they leave this out? If it were actually in use, why would they relay the whippings, the confinement, the rape, the starvation, the harsh working conditions, the lynchings, the forced assimilation, and just... not mention this part?
Their friend piled on. I told him my statement was based on the way the device functions, and not "white people wouldn't do that." I told them that I didn't expect better from him, because I didn't know him, but I did expect better from them.
Apparently this was me making assumptions.
Gonna be honest, I didn't read the entirety of their responses, because this sort of thing is maddeningly upsetting to me. I thought I was safe to say something because, when I accidentally sent them a video by Alexis Nelson, they called it funny and informative. I know that doesn't seem like much, but... honestly, Alexis isn't going to be up everyone's alley, and sometimes that's due to bigotry. So I thought they would actually care, and not be mad about being checked. I've been in that situation plenty of times, and I normally don't say anything if I don't think I'm going to get through. I only say something if I have hope for that person.
I thought I might actually have a potential friend, and said person responded to "Hey this information might not be accurate" with... honestly, I can barely even parse the way they worded things? Something about slavery happening whether it was disputed or not.
I just wanted to fact check an unsourced facebook post.
#this has contributed to me feeling like no one wants to listen to anything i have to say and every relationship i have is doomed to fail!!#which I recognize is unhealthy!!#fellas is it splitting to get mad and unfriend someone for this nonsense#hm. maybe not what splitting is.#it's just so frustrating when someone is self righteous about their victim mentality#and every additional 'I'm not attacking you actually!' statement is perceived as an additional attack#I know I've done that but I'm WORKING ON IT#so it's frustrating to encounter in the wild and it sends me into the stratosphere#the fuck do you MEAN 'slavery happened even if it was disputed' i meant the SPECIFIC DEVICE YOU'RE MAKING CLAIMS ABOUT#I'm wildly oversimplifying. it was one hell of a sentence.#WHY DO YOU WANT MORE PAIN#THERE'S ENOUGH AS IT IS#WHY IS BAD IF I SAY THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN USED TO HURT PEOPLE#WHY AM I THE ENEMY#WHY AM I THE ONE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS#I THOUGHT WE COULD BE FRIENDS#sorry I'll go try to forget about this now#between this and someone saying she needs ai because commissions are too expensive and free images aren't good enough i just...#don't feel like saying anything to anyone anymore#and I missed my window for productivity today. I should have sat down to write and I didn't#and now I'm tired and frustrated because bg3 glitched wyll's cape away and i don't know which save to load to get it back#or if it's my compute#it already ate my opportunity to get everything from dammon#i might need to reinstall#personal#why did i even try. i was shaking so bad. why does it hurt this much.
3 notes · View notes
mosspapi · 4 months
Text
How do I politely explain to my parents, without getting my shit kicked in, that it seems like they took Covid more seriously back in 2021 when no one in our house had left it for over a year than they're taking it now despite the fact that they know someone is actively contagious with it in their home, and that their holiday plans are not more important than the fact that 2/3 of their children are immunocompromised and the other 1/3 is actively sick with one of the biggest diseases we've had in years.
2 notes · View notes
salsflore · 1 year
Text
ummmm
Tumblr media
#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~#my favorite image on this device btw ^#cw negative#cw vent#you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than-#-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so#but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but#my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i-#-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something-#-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because-#-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles-#-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all#i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me#i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years-#-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and-#-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great-#-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do?#how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time?#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though#so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun-#-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!!#how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol#everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit#i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden
13 notes · View notes
gumheel · 2 years
Text
the stupidest part of being deeply suicidal and constantly carving your life smaller in response to trauma & brainfuckery is just how difficult it is to try and fix it once you realize that maybe you want to live and that life could be good. it's worth doing don't get me wrong! it's probably the thing that's most worth doing! but it's also. really hard to look at the pieces from the life that's been broken for the past several years and go okay, how do we put this back together
#and i'm doing good! you know!#all things considered. i'm doing good.#i'm on top of most of my classes i'm trying to finish the ones that aren't.#i've got friends and people i trust.#i'm slowly earning money.#and things are slipping. you know. as they do.#some days i forget to brush my teeth or i can't go to class or i miss an assignment becasue i decided something else would be easier. and.#that sucks. you know#it's a game of trying to decide whether today's energy is best spent trying to fix what i broke#or trying to keep more things from breaking#and that's. really sad#because if i had been doing better. and if i were more capable. it would be easier now#but you know. every day it gets easier doing it every day is the hard part.#so i'll take my minor victories and scrape a life back together. and who knows#maybe in a few months or years it'll be good. and i'll be happy and i won't be picking up after myself anymore#rokowski's 'it was hard to rewrite my life into one i wanted to live but today i want to live'#and abdurraqib's 'but i'd like to stay alive and keep trying to make my own tragic corner of this sad spinning pebble as clean as i can'#BUT ESPECIALLY calvocoressi's 'oh my gd! i did not want to die that day. ... why don't we talk about it? how good it feels? ->#-> and if you don't know then you're lucky but also you poor thing.'#you get it. you understand#call me!#sorry i can't refrain from tags rambling. i'll delete this later maybe. did you know that being awake and alert for once in your life#can actually feel. good?#it's crazy.
15 notes · View notes
neverendingford · 10 months
Text
.
#tag talk#character fight polls aren't which character is better it's which fandom is bigger and I really fucking want to stop seeing them#I have polls blacklisted and people aren't teaching things I have to blacklist everyone's individual unique poll tournament tag#because they fucking tag every single character and fandom in their 64 character bracket#I'm so tired of seeing Shion from no. 6 put up against every single other character for every single trait he's got#do you really think Danny Phantom is actually the superior white haired dude or is the Df fandom just massively bigger than the no. 6 fandom#this is basically just the post about demographic maps that are just population density maps. your stupid tournament isn't doing anything.#some polls are funny and cool and neat and interesting but 99% of them are not#like. hey quick question do you wear white socks grey socks black socks or other color stocks#make sure to reblog so I can also find out what color socks your followers who aren't my followers wear because this is imprtant information#why do we need to argue whether Shion is better or worse than some other character who is gay in a government rebellion#this is supposedly about me hating stupid polls but it's really actually about people including my favorite boi Shion in stupid polls#leave him alone leave him alone leave him alone he's gone through enough I know the fandom is relatively small don't remind me#let me enjoy my bittersweet gay anime in peace okay#just cause I don't kin him anymore doesn't mean I can't still have strong feelings about him
0 notes
colorisbyshe · 2 months
Text
I just came across a tweet saying that Aaron Bushnell--the man who burned himself to death while yelling Free Palestine until he couldn't anymore--will be "in the history books" and that phrase has been coming up a lot. And it chafes me every time I read it, every time I hear it.
Cause, a. no, a lot of this won't be in the American history books. American atrocities, especially those overseas but even those against American people (especially American people of color), don't go in the literal history books. Or the figurative ones. Most American atrocities are wiped from the collective memory... sometimes as soon as they happen. They go unreported (like the first person to self immolate to protest this genocide), they go erased, they go whitewashed, they go falsely recontextualized, and they get twisted into pro-America sentiment--we were right for those atrocities, we were wrong for them but we learned, we didn't learn from it but we felt bad about it and should be comforted for that soreness.
And b. is harder to verbalize but I'm gonna try. It feels... performative in the literal sense. Like we only value what is happening today out of deference for how people in the future will perceive it. We aren't doing anything to change anything NOW, to care about other people NOW, but so that one day... we'll be remembered a caring. Like this man killed himself as gesture, as a move for his legacy.
And I see this phrase--"this will be remembered in the history books"--whipped out in extremely horrific contexts. A child's dead body hanging off a wall, "oh, this will be in the history books." What does that even mean? Was her death worth the historical context? Was it necessary to embellish the horror of it all?
Would the people reading these hypothetical history books not get the wrongness of the genocide without the death of a little girl that you're using as... window dressing?
It just seems so weirdly self satisfied. Like you're eager to note you just witnessed a real moment that people will remember decades from now. When... a lot of people won't which is what is so tragic. A lot of people don't even know it's happening right now.
Because, again, it's not being reported. And when it is being reported it's not being reported honestly.
I'm not saying this well but it just feels like such a gross reaction to things we're seeing in real time.
Why does it have to matter later to matter now? Why is the hypothetical reaction of a history book reader the thing you think about?
A lot of people won't live to read those "history books" because people, right now, aren't doing anything to help them.
4K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 1 month
Text
okay if you're really cool about things, i can be honest with you. before you read further, decide if you're a girl's girl. if you're cool and actually cool or like not cool.
men don't talk in my book because i was fuckken tired of the way they're the center of every fucking story. i was tired of how every story takes a moment to let them talk. men can shut up for literally one fucking book.
unfortunately not everyone is cool. professionally what i usually say is i didn't want to add violence to the world. the only men in my book are abusers, so they don't get to talk. they don't get to take up space. they ruined my life, they don't get to have their words echo anymore.
because like, yeah! you find practically any story about a person surviving trauma and... there's a man at the center. men are often rescuing us from these things. a "good man" is always standing around, being a good man, proving to the victim that good men are the real men. that her experience was unique rather than universal.
the redacted text has not been taken well by all of my early readers. there is this weird, crouching growl that keeps occurring with men-of-a-certain-age. why don't we hear his side of the story?
when i sat down to write everything that happened to me, i couldn't look at the frank brutality of my abuser's words on a page and think to myself: i actually let him speak like that. i had to redact his words from the manuscript. i then left it redacted. no victim is going to read this book and hear the person who hurt them. it is a book for the victims to speak. abusers shut up challenge, forever. for eternity.
my father once told me, chuckling, i should just have a page of redaction where i let the man just finally talk. it is funny to joke about how we should make a whole page in my book about a man that hurt me. this was not the only time someone commented - it feels like you're hiding things. how do i know you're actually a victim if he doesn't get to speak?
there are books where women aren't even present. i even genuinely like some of those books. like, who doesn't like the hobbit?
i keep running into people defending this imaginary man. the default narrative is so true to some people that they will defend any man, just by virtue of the assumption - "if he's acting like that, you had to push him." certain people need definitive proof that you didn't accidentally make your partner into an abuser. they need to decide if you deserved it, because they want to be able to judge you.
which makes sense, i guess, from a hind brain perspective. if you can figure out "why" someone was cruel, you can protect yourself against it. if you defend the bully, the bully might side with you. i don't really know their explanation for feeling this about a character in a book. trust me, i wrote the guy. he is not going to protect you.
i guess i just - there was a time in my life where i desperately wanted anyone to defend me. where i could have really used someone saying holy shit are you okay instead of what did you say to make him act like that to you.
instead, over dinner, a friend-of-a-friend i just met is pouring herself wine. i heard you wrote a book, she says. she gives me the kind of chilly smile i associate with knives. i heard it's unfair to men.
2K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 27 days
Text
fatherhood looks good on you | george russell social media au
pairing: george russell x fem albon reader
there comes a point in the relationship where you take it to the next level
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
- part of the brother's best friend series -
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 783,409 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: looking so good i want to give you a baby
view all comments
user1: WHAT
user2: we really be saying anything on the internet these days
alexalbon: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE LITERAL ONLY RULE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS THAT YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELVES
yourusername: gosh a girl can't have baby fever in peace these days
alexalbon: unless that baby is coming by stork you can put that talk on hold real fast
yourusername: just because lily is busy does not mean you have to take it out on me and george
georgerussell63: alex is it illegal for a man to be handsome?
alexalbon: if it's illegal to be handsome, you'd have the cleanest record known to man
yourusername: STOP RIGHT THERE DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT LYING IS A SIN
alexalbon: i'm not going to say YOUR boyfriend is hot, no.
yourusername: just because i got in there first 🙄
user3: i don't think she's serious but also george with a baby is just too cute not to happen
user4: george is the perf instagram boyf like he's so ready to pose
landonorris: well that definitely is something we all want to know
yourusername: i know you would LOVE to know ALL the details norris
georgerussell63: she's never going to let your crush go lando, you gotta just hold it
landonorris: i was THIRTEEN
yourusername: you don't love me anymore? 😕
landonorris: i don't know why i always get in these arguments with you
user5: i love how george just instigates things for y/n lmao
user6: your boyfriend should always support your mess
liked by yourusername
Tumblr media
georgerussell63
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by lewishamilton, alexalbon and 1,209,458 others
tagged: yourusername
georgerussell63: fatherhood is a different beast
view all comments
user8: alright i am so confused
user9: there's no way y/n can actually be pregnant i saw her down at least three pornstar martinis in hospitality this weekend
alexalbon: this better be a joke or i'm gonna kick you so hard you get a free non-reversible vasectomy
yourusername: stop the violence!
alexalbon: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR GLEE REFERENCES
yourusername: someone is channelling some serious sue vibes right now
georgerussell63: let it be known i like my reproductive systems the way they are
alexalbon: that's kind of the point of a threat, you aren't supposed to want it
yourusername: he likes threats if they come from the right person
alexalbon: i am about one more comment away from knocking down your hotel room door and throwing george from the balcony
yourusername: and deprive our child from a father... alex i expected better from you
alexalbon: that's it i'm on my way
georgerussell63: @mercedesamgf1 PLEASE PROTECT ME I AM PRECIOUS CARGO
user10: these bitches got me actually combing through tiktoks and hospitality menus to see if y/n was actually drinking
user11: i'm gonna be real angry if this is all a big joke
user12: i know kimi antonelli is young but this is NAWT the way to announce him for 2025
charles_leclerc: guys i need you to spell everything out i am confused
georgerussell63: no can do charles you gotta follow the breadcrumbs just like everyone else
yourusername: it's right there sharl
charles_leclerc: actually alex, wait, i'm coming with you these hoes are annoying me
landonorris: don't forget me
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and 1,409,556 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: our baby is here!
view all comments
user15: A CAT?
user16: i just knew george russell would be a ragdoll girl
georgerussell63: they were right i AM a girl dad
yourusername: finally dilf status
georgerussell63: a title i do not take lightly
yourusername: i can confirm libido has gone UP since becoming parents!
landonorris: shut THE FUCK UP
yourusername: you'll understand in time lando
georgerussell63: you just found yourself at the bottom of the babysitting list
landonorris: i don't want to look after it
yourusername: IT? IT? HOW DARE YOU?
georgerussell63: she can hear you lando that's so disrespectful :(
landonorris: ??? i'm not saying sorry to a cat over instagram comment
georgerussell63: expect the same courtesy when i take you out first corner next weekend
user17: i fear that was not a threat but a promise from george
user18: it's kinda hot
liked by yourusername
alexalbon: NEW ALBON PETS LORE AND NONE OF YOU TOLD ME
yourusername: ella can't wait to meet the gang
alexalbon: no offence but ella is kinda a shit name
yourusername: short for mozzarella
alexalbon: i take it back
georgerussell63: cause she's the lil pearl of our life
alexalbon: i love her already
user19: so we went through all this tomfoolery for a cat? a cat called mozzarella?
user20: you have to agree it's iconic
Tumblr media
alexalbon
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 889,304 others
tagged: georgerussell63 & yourusername
alexalbon: i knew @albon_pets would get george at some point
view all comments
user22: i love how alex became the chill guy again after it was revealed he was not yet an uncle
georgerussell63: hard on the yet
alexalbon: too soon george
user23: the albon pets signature of approval is a bigger sign that george is in the gamily than if he actually proposed to y/n
user24: they've got a baby now he's an albon
yourusername: horsey is going to kick off over having to share george with me and mozzie
albon_pets: bring it on - horsey
yourusername: alex i'm not arguing with you pretending to be horsey, this ain't roscoe and lewis
lewishamilton: rude
roscoelovescoco: meanie
yourusername: did you just call me mean as your dog?
lewishamilton: you were extra mean
yourusername: fine lets let mozzie and roscoe scrap it out at silverstone - she's got the sass of both me and george btw x
lewishamilton: stay AWAY FROM MY DOG
user25: the merc garage gonna be a whole petting zoo at silverstone i can't
user26: you wanna catch up with red bull? sell meet and greet tickets to the petting zoo
maxverstappen1: this is my official invitation to a play date with jimmy and sassy
yourusername: WE'LL BE THERE
maxverstappen1: is mozzarella civilised?
georgerussell63: of course my child has manners?
maxverstappen1: you crash into people all the time, i had to check
georgerussell63
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 896,045 others
tagged: yourusername
georgerussell63: all of the family here for the home race
view all comments
user27: y/n wearing mozzarella in a baby harness i need to be put down
user28: that really is their child oh my
yourusername: make our baby proud georgie
georgerussell63: anything for you two xx
alexalbon: why do i never get these nice comments
yourusername: they're transmitted through our genes x
yourusername: also george more important 👍🏻
alexalbon: i'm literally your brother? your flesh and blood?
yourusername: george cuter
georgerussell63: can't argue with that
alexalbon: well of course he is this ain't alabama. (sorry logan)
logansargent: i'm from florida?
yourusername: even worse, my condolences
georgerussell63: can we get back to talking about how dashing i am?
yourusername: yes!
alexalbon: NO. SAY GOOD LUCK Y/N
yourusername: good luck y/n
alexalbon: what if i crash and you never said good luck, think about it y/n
yourusername: good luck alex (you're an asshole for weaponising the sport (and you being shit at it))
user29: i think i had about three strokes trying to follow this argument
user30: poor logan is just a victim of the albons at this point
landonorris: have a baby and forget about the rest of us, i see how it is
yourusername: you will never measure up to mozzie lando i hope you know that
georgerussell63: what y/n means is that i love my friends, but a child is a gift from god
landonorris: it's a cat. she can't even talk
yourusername: and yet she makes better points than you, makes you think
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 834,019 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: fatherhood looks good on you
view all comments
user31: mozzarella is so big already 🥹
user32: maybe i'm worse than them cause i'm attached to mozzie as well
georgerussell63: no one else i'd rather be cat parents to
yourusername: you're such a romantic
georgerussll63: such a pleasure to take this next step with the love of my life
yourusername: i love you more
georgerussell63: not possible
alexalbon: you being gross about mozzie was better than what ever the fuck this is
yourusername: @lilymunhe does he not treat you right?
lilymunhe: he's a romantic really, he's just exhausting the protective big brother act until george finally proposes
alexalbon: sue me
maxverstappen1: still waiting on the play date ...
yourusername: monaco?
maxverstappen1: done
yourusername: jimmy, sassy and ella will be like the charlie's angles reincarnated
georgerussell63: can't wait for you to see her IMPECCABLE manners
maxverstappen1: okay princess george
yourusername: hey only i can call george princess
maxverstappen1: you keep that to yourself
user33: disappointed that with all the tomfoolery around mozzie that there was no maternity photoshoots
yourusername: oh do not give me a challenge...
fin.
note: NEW SERIES ALERT? i'll create a masterlist after i post this. i hope you enjoyed, this one is more of a tame brother's best friend take but dw they can get more beefy and more sassy - send me any pairings you might like to see! thanks for reading x
2K notes · View notes
Text
Out Of Character - LN
Summary: Lando has never been the type to get violent even when he's got good reason and is provoked. But when y/n's ex-boyfriend shows up, he thinks he's got more than just good reason
Warnings: Lando goes into blind rage
No part 2 requests please
Tumblr media
Y/n being freshly broken up and being thrust upon the single market via a night out, really it was the last thing she wanted to do. .
"Y/n...you look stunning." Lando comments as y/n appears looking down at her phone.
"He's not text me back." Y/n mumbles earning a frown. "God, I'm so pathetic. I get myself dumped because he finds someone better then I spend the next two days "
"Hey, don't say that." Lando scolds as Max and Pietra appear. "Can you guys please tell her that she's not pathetic and that he has hasn't found someone better?"
"You aren't. He hasn't." Max and P agree earning a look from the young woman.
"Phone." Lando demands holding his hand out which makes her eye it like he's holding out a poisoned branch at her. "Y/n."
"Fine." Y/n grumbles putting her phone in his hand before he slides it into his pocket. "I guess if I'm third wheeling with anyone, it's not the worst person in it being you."
"Thanks." Lando hums offering his hand while Max and P are already heading out since the Uber is there. "You're going to be alright, y/n. I'll take care of you."
"I know you will. You're not an asshole." Y/n smiles making him grin at her before they head out.
-
Y/n did feel her mood beginning to pick up and with Lando having hold of her phone, he did have to deal with Ben finally replying trying to win her back. Which if she'd seen the messages, Lando knows would've worked.
Ben is the most manipulative person Lando has ever met and it's not secret that she is without a doubt wrapped around his little finger.
But what Lando expect when he steps down from the DJ set is to find that y/n is bickering with none other than Ben himself. He must've arrived while Lando was distracted.
Y/n's got tears threatening to spill over while she finds her bicep in Ben's hand, even in the strobe lights and darkness, Lando can see the white knuckles giving away how tightly he's holding her.
But reaching her from the distance he's at, he doesn't have the time to fight through the crowds before she's being very aggressively yanked away.
"Max? Max. Ben has y/n." Lando exclaims spotting his friend on the way over as he tries to fight his way through the crowd on the dance floor. "He's just dragged her out."
"Shit." Max groans the looking at P. "Stay inside. I don't want you involved in this."
Pietra definitely looks like she's going to argue since she is friends with y/n too. But the expression on Max and Lando's faces stops her from saying anything, instead just nodding.
By the time the two have marched outside, there's a few people who seem to be watching the exes argue.
"You broke up with me! Did you think you think my friends are the type of people to let me sit and mope over you?" Y/n questsions, her hand over his own as she seems to pause trying to pry his hand from her arm. "Will you let me go? You're hurting me."
"You think I'm just going to let you open your legs like a whore for Lando to finally-"
"What are you talking about?!" Y/n exclaims, not bothering to temper her volume anymore. "Get off."
"Hey, get the fuck off of her. Why is she repeating herself?" Lando questions as he appears with Max behind him.
"Oh here he is, the man with a god complex. Here to save the day, hero?" Ben laughs while y/n grimaces at his fist tightening around her arm, as if to make a point.
"Lando, it's ok." Y/n whispers catching his gaze and shaking her head to try and dismiss his efforts. "I'm handling this."
"Mate, maybe we should wait for her." Max states but Ben speaks up.
"Yeah, mate. Not getting your dick wet in a whore tonight. Or not this whore at least."
Lando's not really sure what happened. He didn't see red. It was more like he completely blacked out in rage. The only sense he had was the feeling of pain shooting through his fist a few times. The feeling of bone under skin crunching from the impact.
The sound hits in the form over y/n's voice screaming as sets of hands scramble time yank Lando's body backwards.
Eventually he's slingshotted back landing on another body that cushions his fall. The haze of darkness that clouded his vision finally clears and y/n appears.
"Hey, hey. We need to get you out of here." Y/n states as she looks at him for a moment. "Lando, are you listening to me? We need to go."
"I got him."
"I'll catch up." Y/n nods as Lando looks down at his right fists which looks pretty battered and bloody. It's only then he looks behind y/n that he sees some security looking at Ben who is conscious, thankfully but it looks likes he might have a broken nose and maybe a broken jaw. "Go on, Lando."
"I'm not leaving you with him again."
"You've incapacitated him and made your point. He's not going to touch me. I just have to make sure he doesn't press charges against you. Can you please?" Y/n stresses not actually worried about about Ben but more for Lando's reputation.
"Come on mate, she's right. We'll wait for her somewhere else. Get you some ice too." Max states yanking Lando up to his feet but Lando looks at y/n.
"Take your phone. We'll be waiting." Lando states making her sigh and pick her phone from his pocket with a small smile.
-
Lando is sitting on the curb while Max goes searching for P, just in time for y/n to appear and sigh sitting beside him.
"I'd love to know what the fuck you were thinking." Y/n comments with a sigh then pulling Lando's iced hand to her lap, looking at the damage. "Zak is going to kill you...and then kill me for being the reason behind you decided to try and break a man's face."
"I wasn't really thinking. But I wasn't going to let him talk about you like that." Lando sighs shaking his head. "Did he hit me back?"
"Uhh...I don't think he had much of a choice." Y/n sighs then smiling lightly. "You went kind of feral. I don't think he was prepared for that."
"I don't think anyone was." Lando mumbles trying not to flinch when he feels her thumb brush over his knuckles. "I don't know what you saw him."
"I don't really like being alone. And the moments he was the good guy that I know and love-loved. Those moments were amazing. It's a lot easier to look in from the outside and cast judgement."
"You deserve better." Lando mutters shaking his head.
"Well in the theme of sounding cliche. I believe the saying is that we accept what we believe we deserve."
"Can't fault you for being wrong. Not everyone can be right all the time like me." Lando smirks while she laughs and sighs. "So am I being charged for assault?"
"No he's not that stupid." Y/n sighs softly before she watches his gaze flick down to her already bruising arm. "It's fine."
"Do you wanna stay at my place tonight? It's closer." Lando states earning a small nod before Max and P reappear.
"Oh god, what happened?" P asks rushing to the two.
"Lando happened to Ben. We should go." Y/n sighs looking at Lando as she stands up and offers her hand. "Come on, hero."
-
After getting back to Lando's they order food before Max and P head to bed, claiming they're tired but the drunk smiles and wandering hands definitely left no room for guessing.
Y/n had already changed into some borrowed Quadrant clothes and curled up into the corner of the sofa while Lando purposely squished up to her in his slightly drunk state just to really poke at her.
"I'm sorry you got involved." Y/n sighs shaking her head. "I forgot he had my location on my phone and he followed us from that."
"I stepped in because he was hurting you...and I don't really remember throwing the first punch. I just blacked out from rage in a way." Lando admits earning a frown from the young woman. "I just wanted to protect you from an asshole who never deserved you to begin with."
"You know you're sort of proving he had reason to be jealous and threatened by you when you go on like this." Y/n laughs lightly then shifting till she's at an angle to rest on his shoulder. "Are you going to fight the next one if he treats me badly?"
Now there is an opportunity here. A chance to do what he should've done before that asshole ever laid his eyes on her.
"I would never treat you badly...and it'd be hard to fight myself."
He feels her head lift as she looks at him, definitely in shock so he gives it a few beats before turning his head to look at her.
"Lando..."
"You can say no."
"But you know I won't." Y/n states then sighing. "You know, I convinced myself a long time ago that we would never be anything more than what we've always been."
"Why?" Lando frowns since for years he's hated holding himself back from it all.
"Because you've always been so work-focused and whenever we were together I mean we flirted but I guess I just assumed it was how our friendship worked." Y/n shrugs then groaning. "Fucking hell. Which one of us was blind?"
"You."
"But-"
"I always knew, but...I thought I'd let you figure it out." Lando cuts in then sighing. "Not my most strategic of moves, I'll admit but still."
"You're a dick."
"So...are we going to try and make this work or are we going back to pretending that it doesn't mean a thing?"
"After what you did for me tonight. I wouldn't want to think of you in any other way than less than a boyfriend. It'd be nice to have someone I know is worth my time."
Y/n grins climbing over him to straddle him and picking up his bruised hand, inspecting the damage.
"I'm still sorry." Y/n states earning a head shake.
"Don't be. So far it's all working out in my favour."
"Ever the optimist when you've almost broken your fist on my ex's face."
"I'd break it entirely if I thought it needed to be done."
Y/n hums before she sighs leaning to the side to look around him and check the time.
"I think it might be a good time to get ourselves to bed." Y/n smiles earning a grin from the F1 driver. "It's a good thing you have a couple more weeks till you are back in the car. Or I might actually need to worry for my safety when it comes to McLaren employees trying to snipe me down or something."
"It's bruised, nothing is broken so I'm fine." Lando smiles then raising his bruised hand up to her throat, feeling her pulse thrumming under his touch before he pulls her down into a kiss that really feels long overdue and as if a jigsaw piece has just fallen into place.
Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos
1K notes · View notes
mr-ribbit · 2 months
Text
gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.
i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.
to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community
to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.
so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue
"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"
I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.
"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"
I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.
there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?
there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic
also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.
"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"
they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?
also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????
and another thing:
it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?
focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.
especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.
1K notes · View notes