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#what.
ifitmakesmeyourking · 2 days ago
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Bo Burnham Line Art
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hizzos · 6 months ago
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HELLO??????????
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berrym00n · a year ago
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Could u please do a tutorial on torture 👀
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duskholland · 4 days ago
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him !!!!!
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tedlass · 7 months ago
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Your emotions and your logic are at war. Your creativity and your analysis are at war. Most simply, your left and right brain are at war. What. (2013) // Inside (2021)
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chocolatecakecas · 6 months ago
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They had a "long talk". You are a grown man and you made another grown man call you because you were having a meltdown on twitter and needed to be "reassured". God thats embarrassing
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headspace-hotel · 2 months ago
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i'm in the library and I found this book by a certain David Limbaugh called "Persecution" that claims to offer proofs that Christians are being persecuted in America and that schools are being invaded by the liberal agenda
and I. I need you all to experience this with me. it is so deeply bizarre
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"values that many christians find repugnant...notions of self-esteem"
w...what
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the claim being made is that all references to the Christian religion are being erased from history textbooks. as in, students are being taught that christianity wasn't even present in history.
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There's also a section claiming that public schools are teaching "death education," which tries to convince your children to commit suicide
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Public schools can't even afford textbooks, do you think they can fund your kid's pilgrimage to Mecca? Come on.
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...
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There's also a. list of "anti-christian" companies. which includes dr. pepper and seven-up apparently.
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Apparently colleges are teaching porn classes, in which students make porn????
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I've been staring at this paragraph for a while trying to figure out what this book thinks is the problem with foster kids being able to report abuse
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...I'm sorry, what would you prefer teachers teach?
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mychemicalxmen · 2 months ago
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i love bo burnham because pretty much all his netflix content is clever zippy sarcastic humor until it takes a sharp 180 heel turn and says "you!!! you. YOU make ME do the COMEDY?? how dare you. how dare you laugh at my doing of the comedy. fuck you. fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you” and he spits directly into your face and then he wins an emmy
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theshitpostcalligrapher · 4 months ago
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req’d by @thebutterflyprince
for ya pile of reaction images
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ren-therose · 6 months ago
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Inspiration
Bo Burnham X f!Reader (WC: 2.4k)
Summary: Bo is having hard time coming up with content, but gets inspired by you.
Warning: Pure smut. So dirty. I mean, dirty talk, use of 'baby girl', fingering, hand job, unprotected sex, cw, creampie, cum kink?, biting, a little ear lick (sorry not sorry)
A/N: We were all thinking it. I just had the balls to do it.
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"Is that how you like it? Huh you dirty sluts, you like it when I don't wash the sheets?"
You cough, choking a little at the terrible joke your boyfriend was testing on you. "Ew, what the fuck Bo? Where is this joke going?"
You ducked as Bo tossed his journal across the room, running his hands through his hair as he groaned.
"I don't know! They either want me to be completely sexually inept, or make the most detailed terrible jokes about how hot I am in bed."
Pulling yourself up from your spot on the couch, you made your way over to the disgruntled man and pressed him into you. He pushed his face into your chest, nuzzling softly as you gently scratched the back of his head as you squeezed him into you.
"Can I just write a whole skit about your boobs, cause they are just so amazing and they make life better."
You laugh, pulling him by his hair to look up at you with his bright blue eyes.
"You need to stop forcing your comedy Bo. You are a funny guy, and it doesn't have to always be about serving the people. The people that are watching you want to see you. I love you."
With a half smile, Bo takes his hand and walks his fingers up your body till he reaches the back of your own neck. He pulls a strand of hair between his fingers as he twirls them.
"You don't just love me for my massive cock?"
You look him up and down with a smug face. "Oh, well I'd say you're acting a little cocky."
Bo stands up to his full height, and he is suddenly towering over you. "Hey, the puns are my thing, you whore."
You blush at his unusual term of endearment; not that whore isn't uncommon, but more that Bo had never called you that before in a way that made you feel so...turned on. Needless to say, he noticed your reaction.
"Oh? Did you like that? Huh?" He started getting even closer, your bodies almost pressing up against each other. You scoffed, rolling your eyes to avoid the question, but he wouldn't let it go.
"I think you did," he says deeply before swinging you over your shoulder quickly, leaving you laughing and playfully fighting back.
"Bo, put me down!!" you laugh, as he carries you away from his deck. He slaps your ass and you yelp, laughing as he continues to jokingly say "I will conquest this dirty harlot!"
He finally throws you down on the couch and you laugh as the large man clambers on top of you, kissing you all over your face and neck.
"Excuse me", you say between giggles, "Mr. Burnham? May I please have a second to catch my breath?"
He pulls his face from your neck, slightly flustered from all the kissing. You noticed his pupils dilate when you called him Mr. Burnham.
"Nah, you don't need to breath." He licks his lips, looking from your eyes to your lips then back to your eyes.
"And what do I need Mr. Burnham?"
You could feel him on top of you, twitching slightly. You smirked, knowing you had him where you wanted.
"Some Vitamin D from Vitamin Me," he says mockingly.
"Hey."
"Hey?"
"Did you you know your a dork?"
"Did you know you're dating a dork?"
You bite your bottom lip. "Can my dork just kiss me?"
He smiles giddily before leaning down and gently pressing his lips into yours. He was soft and gentle, but applying enough pressure that you felt butterflies in your stomach. As he pulled away, you leaned into him, missing his lips already.
You opened your eyes to see him looking down at you with a subtle smile.
"Ahh....I'm gonna wreck you now."
His lips crashed back into yours, more force and desperation with the movement of his mouth. It was open and sloppy and so goddamn hot. You moved your legs out from under him to now have him in between them, as you pulled your right leg up around his waist. You arms were wrapped around his neck as you continued to kiss, tasting the other, exploring in depth.
His hand was supporting your neck while the other was caressing your tit, kneading and squeezing it with passion. You were whimpering into his mouth as he waist remained still, and you couldn't take the lack of friction. you rolled your hips up into, causing a guttural groan to escape from him. It caused you to automatically roll again, prompting his member to harden even more. He moved from your lips to your jaw, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses to your neck. You were gripping his back, soft scratches from the pressure you applied. He loved your hands on him.
He loved it so much, that he snapped his hips down into you, causing you to press into him. He smiled against your neck, before biting softly. You laughed, pulling his face back up to yours, stilling holding his cheeks as you kissed him with warmth.
You tried to flip the both of you over, but your size was nothing compared to his 6'5" stature, and though he was skinny, he was surprisingly strong. As you wiggled beneath him in an attempt to roll over on the couch, he took note of your movement and hooked his arm around your wait, flipping you on top of him with ease. You leaned down, teasing him with your lips just brazing his own while you rubbed noses. He leaned up to try and kiss you, but you moved your head to his jaw, kissing and sucking your way to his neck.
Though you were making him feel good, he loved being in control. His hands trailed down your sides to your ass, gripping and squeezing them fervor. You rolled your hips down into his completely hard cock, which twitched against your clothed core. He slapped your ass, causing you to yelp into him, him rubbing the red mark that was bound to appear. You nipped slightly against him, wrapping your hand back around to the nape of his neck where you softly played and pulled his hair. His hands slid back up to your hips, gripping the sides as he moved you against him.
"oohh, Bo..." you moan into his neck, dropping your head to rest on him.
"So you're quoting me now?" he teases against your ear, flicking his tongue on the outer shell. You moaned again as he snapped his hips up into the movements he was orchestrating with your body. You gripped his hair tightly, the friction against your clit growing with each shift.
You sit up, moving with him now, as you pull of your shirt and toss it across the room. He is immediately distracted by the way your bra complimented your tits, which allows you to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him up to you. You keep grinding down as you remove his shirt. Once it is off, you press yourselves together, skin on skin while your lips locked, fighting the other for control. You scooted slightly back on his thighs, giving you the space to snake your hand down to his jeans where you began palming his erection.
"oh, jesus," he chokes, taken aback by the sudden relief of your hand.
You unbutton his pants and pull out his leaking cock , wrapping your hand around him and gently pumping him. His head fell against your forehead, his breathing deep and low as he rocked against your hand.
"Baby, you're gonna kill. I need you. Now," he whimpered leaning to kiss you once more. You tilted your mouth towards him as you swiped your thumb over his slit, causing him to moan into you.
Climbing off him, you stood and pulled your pants and underwear off together, while he shimmied his pants all the way off. He reached his hand out to you, a silly gesture, but so sweet, so Bo. Shyly, you placed your hand in his and were pulled into his lap, laughing as he kissed your cheek over and over as he laid you back down on the couch. You lifted your leg over his shoulder to rest on the other side of him, spread out for him and only him. Your eyes were blown out as he towered over you, and you waited for him to make his move. He moved his hand up to his mouth and collected his spit on two of his fingers.
Bringing them down to you, your breathing quickened in anticipation. Your back arched as he ran his fingers through your slit, stopping at your clit. You rolled against finger, desperate for more friction, but he placed his other hand on top of stomach.
"Don't."
Your eyes widened at this statement, but before you could say anything, he was gently rubbing your clit in circles, causing those wide eyes to roll in the back of your head.
"oh my god..."
He looked down on you smuggly. "No, just me."
You lift your head to give him a glare, but he slips his fingers inside of you, causing your head to fall back down.
"What was that? Did you wanna say something, baby? Or are you gonna take me like a good girl?"
You couldn't even look him in the eye as you moaned out, "Just fuck me."
His fingers pulled out, causing your body to relax for a moment, until he slipped his full length into you, hitting every crevice. He moaned out at the tightness of your pussy around him. He could count your heart rate when he was inside of you. He stayed there for another moment, enjoying seeing you squirm beneath him.
"Please Bo, please. Do something," you cry.
He leans down, planting a kiss to your forehead as he pulls out and snaps back into you.
"Unh, fuck," you yelp, waiting for more. He pulls out again and sheaths himself once more.
"You like how deep I am?"
You moan a soft "mhmm", before he starts rolling his hips, staying deep inside you. You were so slick, it felt so good for him as he placed his arms on either side of you, keeping you close to him as he quickened his pace, the roll turning into more of a thrust.
"Bo, please, I'm so close," you whine, all of the foreplay catching up to you. He begins pounding your pussy, a trail of moans falling out of his mouth as you climb to your climax.
"Can't believe how good you feel, yeah, keep squeezing me baby, fucking squeeze me," he rambles against you, and it was all your body needed to fall over the edge.
"Jesus, Bo, Bo, BO!!" His name fell off your lips repeatedly like a prayer as he unrelentlessly fucked you through your orgasm. When he slowed, all you could think about was finishing him off. Still inside of you, Bo helped you up into his lap where you caught your breath for a few moments.
"Are you sure you can go again?" he asks, brushing your hair out of your face. You lean in and cup his face as you kiss him deeply. He holds you as he leans back against the sofa, enjoying your lips against his. Hesitantly, your roll against him, his dick twitching inside at the friction.
"Fuck, please tell me that was a yes," he almost begs.
You lean back and begin bouncing, you tits jiggling as your bra held them up. He moved his hands up your back and removed your bra, tossing it to the side. One hand on your waist, the other on your tit, you kept riding his cock while he groaned at the friction. You leaned forward slightly to get a different angle and Bo went feral. You were leaning on his chest while your ass bounced against him. Both of his hands went to your waist to help you go faster, and you unfurl into a moaning mess.
"Oh my god, babe, I'm gonna cum, i'm gonna cum..." he said, thrusting up into you with each bounce.
You turn your head to the side and start kissing and sucking his neck, and that does it. He starts whining and chanting your name over and over again he snaps his hips, one, two, three times and then his cum is shooting inside you. The warm liquid filled you up as you followed, the feeling adding to the pleasure. You cried into him as he finally slowed down.
You didn't know how long you stayed there, but you both caught your breath, holding on to one another. When time felt like it started again, Bo leaned down to pick up your bra and placed it on top of his head.
You look up at him and giggle, sitting up to see his new look.
"What do you think? Does it look as good on me as it does on you?" You laugh, playful slapping his chest.
"You are the sexiest, always."
"Wait, I just got an idea. Can you hand me my journal? It's right next to you on the floor."
You go to get off of him, but he grips your hip, keeping you in place.
You look at him quizzically, unsure of what he is doing.
"I didn't say you could get off."
You suck your teeth, rolling your eyes before leaning back, to grab it form the floor. The mixture of your cum slipped out slightly, dripping down the both of you. His eyes widened as he stared at where the two of you met.
"Holy fuck that's hot."
You twirl your hips slightly, and he hisses before snatching the book from your hand. He reaches for a pen nearby and as you laid against his chest, he started writing.
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A/N: WAS THIS ENOUGH??? ARE YOU OKAY?? Should I write more???
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ifitmakesmeyourking · 6 months ago
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Inside (2021)
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hizzos · a month ago
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um….it’s two years of fine line tomorrow
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nachosforfree · 9 months ago
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YOURE TELLING ME THAT THE EGG CANONICALLY FUCKS?
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outofcontextdiscord · 2 months ago
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sushisoot · 2 months ago
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no thoughts, head empty, just being ‘rivals’ with the crewboys and wilbur in a highschool au-
like not even strictly academic rivals. like maybe reader and wilbur both enter a music contest or something and passive-aggressively fight over a specific practice room for so long it’s the only practice room left and they begrudgingly share it and ‘coincidentally’ are playing the same song but different melody lines and decide to make it a duet instead (bonus points if their mutual music teacher planned it out and gave them the same song-)
or being ‘rivals’ in popularity with sapnap! i feel like he’d be part of student gov. (because i feel like dream would be in it and force the rest of the dream team to join) and gets chosen to plan a school event (like hoco) with reader whilst also planning to hold a killer after party (which reader also plans on doing) and competing for what theme the student gov will approve of before finding that they work really well together and decide to co-host an afterparty (bonus points if they come up for the same theme for the school event and extra bonus points if sapnap and reader confess while cleaning up after the afterparty they throw with the crewboys just cheering him on)
or or or, being ‘rival’ team captains. like maybe a school has a bunch of players on relatively the same level so they have two varsity teams (this is for gender neutral reader by the way but if reader was female it could be girls varsity vs boys varsity) and reader is captain of one and sapnap is captain of the other. they constantly are organizing practices against the other and gloating about their respective number of wins against the other. like maybe when sapnap’s team is practicing and reader’s isn’t they’ll come in to watch practice and take notes (really their notes are complimenting sapnap but he doesn’t need to know that-) or randomly join in to surprise block sapnap or take a shot at the goal or basket (depends on the sport but i feel like sapnap gives off aggressive football or soccer vibes) and vice versa. eventually reader’s team is about to go against a team that defeated sapnap’s and they put aside their rivalry to come up with a strategy to defeat the other school. reader ends up using sapnap’s strategy and winning the game before sapnap runs down onto the court/field and kisses reader in excitement and they kiss back
consider, george with a super uptight reader who’s just trying to be the best in everything and is super strict about scheduling stuff. i feel like george would be vp in student gov because him and dream are kind of a package deal so maybe reader is secretary who constantly badgers george into getting everything he needs to do as early as possible and making sure he doesn’t fall asleep during meetings or show up late. eventually dream gets tired of george and reader’s arguments when he’s just trying to be productive and suspends them from student gov meetings until they work their shit out. they talk and become friends and just gang up on dream-
alternatively, being ‘rivals’ with karl but it’s just reader and karl trying to one-up eachother with nice gifts and stuff. like one got the other for secret santa or something and the other is like well i have to get them a gift back and it just evolves from there to each of them giving the other more outrageous gifts. not really rivals in the traditional sense but they went from being kinda strangers to going broke for eachother. everyone is in tears because of these two oblivious idiots who started to develop feelings for the other-
hear me out, being co-head of a committee with quackity where reader and quackity always veto the other’s ideas no matter what. eventually they receive anonymous proposals (of each other’s idea) and find that they actually really agree with said idea before finding out it came from the other. mutual respect forms (they still kinda hate eachother and take any chance to veto the other’s decisions but like less than before-) and the crewboys decide to pull a “much ado about nothing” by making the two fall in love by telling both one likes the other. shenanigans ensue and eventually they confess to eachother in some roundabout way that the crewboys definitely set up, laughing when it works before quackity and reader chase them away or something-
and finally, consider, being academic rivals with dream, always comparing scores and being in debate club together. their favorite thing to do is go against eachother but then the debate club teacher forces them to work together for a public debate in front of the entire school. at first they’re incredibly stubborn, refusing to work together and just making their own points but eventually they’re forced to meet up and help eachother refine their points. they win (of course because this is an x reader-) and they start studying together and spending time outside of school platonically hanging out (mutual pining my beloved). they end up tutoring a student together and bicker like an old married couple, which the student they’re tutoring points out (bonus points if said student was told to say that by the crewboys-) and they both get flustered more than before until the crewboys lovingly bully dream into confessing.
feel free to write any of these ideas (i wouldn’t expect you to do something for all since they’re long. and if you don’t want to write them out, than just enjoy these mini little brainrots)
-rainbow :)
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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oatmealcrisp-freak · 2 months ago
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......................................................guys today i got bad news about soy sauce.
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chocolatecakecas · 3 months ago
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so insane that j*red literally sat on stage and claimed that cas saying i love you wasn't romantic and it wasnt "the point of that scene" (a scene he wasnt even present for) because you can "say i love you to anything"....all because he can say i love you to his friends or his kids and mean it platonically.....
like he, a grown married man, just tried to claim that romantic love just doesn't exist, all in the name of homophobia.
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ssspace-cactusss · a month ago
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WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU *MEAN* THE UNDERTALE PRUNSEL POST IS FROM FEBRUARY OF THIS YEAR I STFG I SAW THAT BACK IN EITHER 2015 OR 2016.
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nextstopparis · 3 months ago
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merlin, muttering: you’re lucky i love you
arthur: what?
merlin, panicked: I SAID IM GOING TO SHOVE YOU [pushes him and runs away]
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godzillawillsaveus · 4 months ago
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Happy Birthday Bo Burnham!  
August 21, 1990
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