#whatever. silence on my end on that.

[chrisbangs]

Bang Chan .:. 락 (LALALALA) Inkigayo [231112]

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #skz #cb97net #createskz #*gifs #*m #oh its BAD. #this is the one (1) shot he had ... #there was 3 in total today and :) the other two well......... lol . #whatever. silence on my end on that. #i made 4 gifs out of 2 shots and it all looks horrific so ! #you get a 2 set </3 #thats all i can do #i like my psd on this part #anyway they all looked INCREDIBLE today.. #but i have a skull splitting headache rn so zz time

[mymarifae]

hobbies: extensively researching horror movies because i'm too much of a scaredy cat to actually watch them and because i hate watching movies

#horror is a fascinating genre to me and i do looove working with it #and i believe the best way to improve your writing and art is to engage with other media. so you can learn from others! #like even if you end up hating a certain book or movie or show or video game or whatever that's a valuable experience... #because now you know what not to do in your own works! #but because i'm too scared to actually properly watch or read or play horror i feel like my horror writing and concepts may be lacking.. #so i like to pull up random horror movies sometimes and look into their plots and the characters #and if they were adapted/inspired from a book i'll look into that too #looking at silence of the lambs atm. didn't know this was a horror movie i thought it was like #idk. a coming of age story about a sheep herder😭???

[sleepanonymous]

No lyrics, this is just a piano interpretation/cover Ves did. But I have something special for you below the cut 🖤

Edited out the commenters' last names for privacy, but could you fucking imagine??? Commenting on a video and Ves responding??? I guess I'm fangirling and these people had no idea, but still. Very jealous lmao 😅

#lost media #circa 2012 #the safety fire #the safety fire floods of colour #floods of colour #song floods of colour #piano interpretation #there is like 40 seconds of silence at the end #i left it in for the full experience #not because i'm lazy and don't want to edit the mp3 😅 #also i wish ves would have done a piano cover of born of osiris #literally would have fucking died if i heard that though #“FUCK!!! BoO COVER BEFORE BREAKFAST!!!” is my new motto #as far as covers go i'm not sure if he covered scarlet #but there are quite a few periphery covers that i do have #also i guess the album art for tsf is lungfish? #otherwise ves's lungfish comment is so way out of left field that i can't even 😂😂 #man loves himself some aquatic animals #and as far as i know he never used soundcloud #ves used the “whatever” option instead for uploading his music #so don't bug the guy on soundcloud with ves's name lol its not him

[hecksupremechips]

A ghibli loving straight woman will be like "oh you’re gay right? What’s hotter, Howl with blonde hair or Howl with black hair?" and I go "haha black hair" and awkwardly sip my drink because the truth is I only feel deep carnal desire for Howl Movingcastle when he is a fucked up bird monster and I don’t think this straight woman can handle that

#the klock keeps ticking #howls moving castle #in particular that one scene where theyre at like the queen ladys castle and shes doing that funny illusion magic shit or whatever #and howl starts turning into the monster and is like groaning in pain and his face is all twisted #and then theyre on the plane and hes trying to distract sophie and act casual but his arm is all fucked up and his sleeves torn #like i remember watching that when i was still in denial about my sexuality and i was like. huh 🤔 #plus like towards the end when hes just huge all those black feathers that shit rules #i wont be silenced any longer wheres the love and lust for monster howl!

[housewifebuck]

cam pretty pls show ur Spotify wrapped

I’m gonna put it under the cut because it’s long and embarrassing

So first of all. Are anyone else’s Spotify numbers always wrong???? It has my top song as being listened to 37 times this year when I know for a fact there are other songs I’ve listened to more than that in like…the past month alone. It does this with receiptify too it pisses me off. And like I put 50k miles on my car this year and I am never not listening to music while driving yet somehow I only have 20k minutes. OKAY. whatever here are my fake stats

#like I haven’t listened to The Weeknd since may or June #and Eminem literally there was one song I was listening to on repeat for a while bc me and my friend were trying to learn all the words LMAO #and that was enough to get him in my top five?? okay #whatever I’m not bitter at all that everyone but me has an accurate wrapped #I think it might have something to do with the fact that I’m impatient and always skip the last few seconds of silence at the end of songs #like maybe in order for them to count you have to play them completely #idfk #asks #wrapped #personal

[cantgnn]

I could be doing so many other things right now but instead I’m drawing goldric. Sigh

#toh #goldric #from that one song uhhhh #umm #what’s it called #something about bruno’s oranges?? #I had the next line of the song in mind when I drew this but I didn’t really know what pose to do it in #where hunter tells edric to screw off yk #the song lyrics really were not meant to be taken this way but uhh. whatever. this is diff context #hunter is attempting to make edric hate him so he can get away from all of this #get away from hunter and belos #it’s kinda working #(hunter is attempting to isolate himself with his abuser. this can only end so well. sigh) #he’s trying to protect edric in a really. inconvenient way. he’s messing up everything #this is not healthy #I have so many different stories and aus in my brain #it’s crazy #I never add the music because I don’t know what the copyright rules are anywhere #so #silence <3 #they’re both all scratched up because they fought.. for some reason…

[aro-aizawa]

me, first watching wtdsik: i will not become a mega fan of kalego i will not. i refuse. yes he shows hints of caring for his students occasionally but--

episode s2 ep 12 kalego' home visit: hi

me: FUCK.

#shut up danni's talking #danni liveblogs #danni liveblogs wtdsik #i knew from the second i saw he'd be their homeroom teacher that it'd end up like this #i adore these characters sm guy you don't understand #i have been v lucky what whatever spoilers never sunk in before i blacklisted the tag #so all of this is COMPLETELY new to me i have no prior experience w this fandom my brain is fkn thriving on the new enrichment #i have to keep stopping myself periodically so i don't go through it all so fast i barely comprehend it #bc then it's a blink and you'll miss it minor hyperfixation that i'll forget in less than a week #its happened before w shows/animes w short seasons/content and sometimes longer ones #those i blitz through and catch up but my enthusiasm burns up before i get to the next installment so i fall behind then forget it rip #back to my original point: kalego and aizawa are so fkn similar i want to chew glass #i can't decide whether they're incarnations of each other or they'd be besties who sit in silence together #and never speak a word to the other bc they have a deep respect and understanding of each other speech is unnecessary #OR if they're somehow brothers or cousins #if it was anywhere near april fools i'd probs just edit my icon to be kelego instead of aizawa #and see how long it'd take for someone to notice lol

[angryborzois]

I feel like auto-battle failing me is a sign to actually do my battles manually

#angryborzois rambles #i beat japhet half-manually #i let batter do all the fighting but reeled the control back every few rounds to heal the team #because everyone kept getting poisoned #and the add-ons died 3 times #but we ultimately won #which wouldnt have happened if it was fully on auto i think #because auto never heals the team and just focuses on fighting #progress ig?? #on an unrelated note zone 2 is my fav zone i think #i really like japhet's design and story and how in the end he waited for batter to come defeat him because he was tired of everything #pablo crying for valerie after the zone was purified was sad though #i wonder how long he stayed on the rooftop just going in circles and searching for his brother #meanwhile batter saying “whatever” to japhet emerging from valerie's body was cold asf #but then again its batter #hes heartless #BUT #i still like to believe that his silence in regards to pablo asking if he had seen valerie was out of sympathy #or he was stunned maybe #he could've easily said “he's dead and you saw it too” #but he remained silent #i like to think that was a little bit of sympathy on his end

[acesammy]

It’s too quiet in my house and I hate it

#:/ #I need to get an animal but my parents might actually kill me #but I miss my dog and I’ve realized that spending nights alone simply does not agree with me #especially now bc the reason for the silence is godawful #l miss my little girl and I hate that her dying isn’t even the worst thing to happen in the last month or so #I /need/ September to end #but September ending also just brings us towards an inevitable outcome I do not want to face #that being said #I need an animal #something to take care of and to keep me company #Something to breathe in the same space as me so it’s not so quiet #Whatever #I am fine. I will be fine. I will be fine. I will be fine #Vent #lea speaks

[thesmallworldofsamizayn]

and how nice to wake up from all the headthumping horny almost unrecognisable caricatures in 10000s of fanfics of the gay pirate show, to the ship where a 2 second hug has people laid low with delighted disbelief. like holy shit he really IS going to play the friend card?!?!

#all those responses to the end of season 2 where it was like kendall goes to stewy of course and they have make up sex #and then after the stewy silencing of season 3 it's the same only more cynical: and now THIS time he goes to stewy! #and i was like yeah yeah copium whatever. but NO #please please succession come rescue me ive been adrift nothing to fixate on for months except my lack of life plans and ambitions

[v-iv-rusty]

sucks how the brain craves even more stress after experiencing something extremely stressful

#misc.txt #vent #or at least it does for me? #I feel like nobody ever talks about it either so I'm not rly sure why it happens or if it's a common response #its the 'very slow tigers are chasing me' thing except me and the tiger are locked in a room and it's just looking at me #and I would rather it just break the silence and try to maul me #if that #makes sense #some part of my brain would rather be back in imminent and potentially life threatening danger than be stuck in this tension #because my mind is still there #and I feel like I end up craving it in the days/weeks/whatever after the thing happens. like right now. #so I'm just sitting here in my room at 1am trying to rewrite my resume while feeling more and more like a cornered possum. 👍 #and it makes me feel like the thing in question wasn't that bad bc who WANTS a traumatic event to happen again/continue? #and like I don't. but my brain is still half stuck in that weird compartmentalized state #and for some reason the instinct is 'return to extreme stress now' instead of 'escape situation and get somewhere you feel safe' #it sucks bc what I need to get done tonight is extremely important #and this happens every fucking time something like this happens. what do I do here.

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#i cant help but think that were making a mistake in planning to do social/ppl work. in doing anthropology in the first place #ive never been good with people #i dont know if i ever will be #nor am i particularly fond of being surrounded by people constantly and infact i quite value my silence #... i can never seem to quite get the hang of interactions. of how to talk of how to move of how to speak #and while i have spend years pretend i do. it has only left me tired #... what am i to do exactly if this is what we go into? what happens if almost inevitabley it is me and not somebody else on a day when we #must deal with people - be it attempting to help or large groups of them or whatever it may be #.... i feel like im being signed up for a life of exhaustion if we do this. i am too quiet. i am too much of a solitary creature #.. what we should have done is gone to veternay school instead. which is what we wanted to do for some years anyway. still helping. less #people work though ... #. i could have done that so much more easily #...... it has taken me too many years of this life to stop hating humans all together. i can understand them. for survivals sake. but this #is all. i have yet to learn to trust them much nor have they given me much reason to nor do i see much benefit to doing so #i am tired. of the nonsencial cruelty. of all of it. #perhaps i do not wish to spend years trying to help beings which i barely trust #what happens if. as it happens at times. i end up being the one to front for days or weeks or months? it seems like a recipe for disaster #we truly should have just worked with animals instead that is something we can all easily do #. its too late now anyway #last year of college. there is no time or money or energy for another degree #my fate seems to be sealed and for months or perhaps years now ive been - i would say turning in my grave but i suppose im not yet dead - #over this.. and now it truly is past time #..... it was a mistake as well that we did not stick to horseback riding in highschool. no. instead we listened to people and parents and #family. do this do that you can do so much better et fucking cetera. those highschool years of academic insanity wrecked this body. wrecked #it. college was too much when we were so mentally and physically ill #.... life could have been different now #if we had stuck to it

[jessethejoyful]

it's wild how I can go from feeling yesterday like I was surrounded by love and friends and felt beautiful and on top of the world to today crying in my bed, weak and dizzy and alone

#personal #shut up jess #it's so stupid too but im just sitting here spiraling #my friends and i are gearing up to start an avatar d&d campaign #two of those 4 friends have now requested to have their s/o's join #which fine i understand people like doing things as a couple bc theyre their best friends fine whatever #im just so depressed because these are friends who have both almost completely ghosted since entering these relationships #we haven't done anything just as our little group for so long #and i am so single and depressed so i get to be like a 6th wheel because 3/4 of them are in relationships #and the last one is the dm #and this all sounds so fucking stupid as im writing it out but im just sitting here crying #because theyll like ask 'is it cool if x joins?' and how the fuck am i supposed to say no? #im not thats how #i don't feel comfortable saying to anyone 'hey can we not always bring our partners along i dont know them' #'and im not comfortable around new people so ill inevitably end up sitting there in silence because i feel isolated' #i just don't know what to do #if i try to back out itll look sus #i wanna just #scream

[dreamertrilogys]

so well. i accidentally started reading utopia avenue (IN MY DEFENCE . we went somewhere a 5 hr drive away and i needed a physical book to read that wasn’t a) nonfiction, b) obviously gay from the cover, or c) something i was annotating) & 8 books was REALLY crossing the line with my 5 books at a time rule so here’s the updated list:

physical

utopia avenue

all the young men

supreme inequality

epubs

the world cannot give

radio silence

these violent delights (micah nemerever)

other

dracula

#tdt had to be cut out for now but that’s fine i think anyway #like since i first read trc i’ve been periodically going in and out of stages of brief but intense infatuation. and with that i mean i’ve #loved it & posted abt it etc throughout but every so often i reread a random bit or whatever and get reobsessed yk. like there has to be #some space/time in between one cannot simply reread the raven cycle day in day out i’d simply go insane #anyway i want to finish 2 more books before the end of may… one is def gonna be utopia avenue & the other will probs be either the world #cannot give or radio silence. i’m 25% done the world cannot give but i can’t say it’s a very good book so far idk…. #.txt #currently reading #also as always dracula doesn’t count because i’ve abandoned my book copy now it’s just the emails x

[myownprivatcidaho]

...

#ask to tag. #my fucjing mom. #i reunderstand my 8 yr old self #when i was little nobody was making sure i was brushing my teeth so i had a.lot of dental problems and still do today #and one night when i was 8 my teeth were hurting really bad and i remember it didnt even occur to me to wake up my parents and ask for #anything. like i was in so much paij i was just lying in bed screaming my lungs out and it wasnt until i jeard my mom asking if i was okay #that it even occurred to me. oh yeah. Youre an option to ask for help 💀 #like yk like she was always busy (or was just checked out) and money was always tight so i just. never asked for anything lmao #it wasnt until later that i realized i was like the only sibling who did that lmao. everyone else asled for clothes and whatever #they never got them but like. they Asked yknow? i only asked for stuff i hoped would make me fit it mainly phones and stuff like shoes etc #anyways. like a decade later i recognize thats bad. its good to ask for things and its bad to suffer in silence. duh #im that on a conscious level lmfao #so NOW. basically theres this heatwave and its awful and each year is.just a bit hotter than the last and we're burning up #in this fucking house. but this woman REFUSES to turn on the ac. like the dog was panting a lot and barely eating in a couple days and its #like. DUH you asshole shes fucking overheating. #so anyways i was chewing my mom out for this and i told her we're burning up in here and its not fair that all of us have to put up with it #just because she can handle it #like. we can AFFORD it now we can AFFORD the fucking ac #but no. i chewed her out and basically ended up ranting that its unfair and ive put up with this my entire fucking life #and she just said 'ok' & that was the end of that fucking conversation. like for some reason we both ended up acting like nothing was said #she doesnt KNOW that a couple hours after tgat i literally passed out from heat exhaustion for like half an hour #like i got auper dizzy and nauseous and i remember thinking 'i am literally cooking in here' without any exaggeration and then i black out #she doesnt KNOW that and for.some reason it just. didnt occur to me to tell her. like ive lapsed back into that Neglected 8 Year Old mode #and like. this is overall a bad habit i have it manifests all the time but on a smaller scale. but this is just just. fucjing serious yk #but like its just so big for some reason it feels wrong to tell her like + not worth it because she'll brush it off or say im lying or sth #i dont know. this is just hard #and i keep getting waves of dizziness when it gets really hot i just dont know.man #im sweating fucking bullets in here and its too much #and its not. fair #sia vents

[saltytyrus]

I wish we could mute our stomachs 🫠

#my instructor had us take vitals on each other for our skill check off #anddd it was the end of the day / i was hungry soooo i knew it was inevitable but was hoping it fucking wouldn't 😭😂 #but it did #they're listening for my diastolic and systolic in dead silence and my stomach lets out the loudest and longest growl 😭😭 #and i apologize and seemingly right away they both pull away with a wow but not bec of what i thought #apparently right at that moment they stopped hearing my blood pressure or whatever and they freaked out a little bec it was so high 😂 #the teacher made her take it again to see if it would be lower #and 'you're too young for it to be that high / relax' #I'm 99% sure that it was that high due to the fear of my stomach growling (then it fucking did at the worst moment) and #i still had to go next and im pretty sure my classmate didnt exactly like me??? #and even her friend didn't want to be her partner for it bec i guess she gets mad bec of how painful it can get 😭😂 #i just wanted to leave as soon as possible so i volunteered to go next with her #my teacher took pity though even though my diastolic reading was 10 points off what she got #one and done #anyways stomach growling is the highest level of betrayal 99% of my anxiety and 98% why i dropped out istg #its been a day and im still haunted by it