#ya person is desperate

[marshmelonlover]

Did he touch her hand?!?!?

#star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #chakotay #with a special feature from the vok block #janeway x chakotay #j/c #isla talks #you can tell i'm grasping at straws here #ya person is desperate

[cloudyvulpine]

hate when i'm info dumping about a *FICTIONAL* villain and someone has the audacity to be like "but they've killed people" or "but they've committed crimes"

i know

but they aren't real

i still want to make out with them

#tbh i could be doing worse #worse character i wanna makeout with is Lady Dimitrescu i think #like yes i am well aware she's a bad person but that's the fun part about her being fictional #nope wait remembered alduin aka the fUCKING WORLD EATING DRAGON #this is the part of the tags were i desperately try to remember all the characters i wanna smooch #alduin #iguchi shuichi #takami keigo #lady dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #glados #wheatly portal 2 #do undertale characters count??? they do try to kill you #maybe not papyrus but the others #undyne #do i put mettaton? i think i put mettaton bc dance battling a child to the death definitely isnt 100% good person behavior #mettaton #minecraft warden #minecraft enderman #ya im including these what are you gonna do to stop me? #how the fuck did i spell yea wrong #too late to fix it now #clouds posts

[fortunatelyenchantingtaco]

The degree to which i see some people bend over backwards to excuse or justify or change or solve Geto’s character is honestly astounding. Just own it up. This man commited atrocities enough for a death sentence. Accept it. Its fine it adds flavour.

The phrase “there arent good or bad people, just the choices they make” is right HERE. Geto and Gojo have a great dichotomy and a big part of it is the fact that in person Geto is the good guy and Gojo is the unbearable asshole. In contrast to that, Gojo is one making the typically “good” choices ant Geto makes “evil” choices. Gojo will save you but will piss you off in the process. Geto will kill you with the kindest smile on his face. I sure hope we dont need to have a conversation on why genocide is a bad thing

#jjk #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #satosugu #you ever just see #people desperately falling for a nice facade #and go wow #i get why people join cults #in all honesty its just a weird thing to see #people calling geto maternal or nice or anything #yall it doesnt matter how nice or good a person is #when they actively choose to kill #idk i may be traumatised cause ya know #another country actively tries to made genocide happen in mine #and its hard to understand in your head #wow how is it possible so many people are evil #its all bullshit #people just decide you shouldnt exist #fun stuff #anyway #accept suguru as he is hes fucked up #which is cool cause gojo is also fucked up #theyre fine #and its an anime who cares #sorry im procrastinating sorry #jjk analysis i guess idk #fuck me if i know

[taffingspy]

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#spy's digital art #Project: Friends #I hope u guys can understand why this page took 2 weeks to draw #wrt the sky : i kept it nebulous as to whether this district is underground or not #the croesus stuff happened in the 2nd age but the church isn't named after azzy until the 3rd age #personally im just headcanoning that the district was still active after being buried underground #kinda like fallen london in a way #it took a lot for the district to get itself back on its feet after croesus but they got there #but ya we going on a lil jaunt with the courier! who i have tried desperately not to name and give a backstory to #because it isnt always good to get attached to random npcs yet here we are #i say. when this entire comic is the result of getting attached to a random npc-

[hatchetverse]

Imagine relatively close to curt and owen meeting.

Curt is watching owen at a weird angle from an adjacent hallway. He sees a gunman coming at owen. sees the guy put his finger on the trigger

Curt runs for him. Hes not planning on losing a partner today. Even if he is a limey bastard.

He jumps in front of the bullet. Only just realizing as hes struck thru the right side, that ya this probably would have missed owen. He falls to the ground with a loud thud and immediately his blood pools around him on the floor. he's one second from blacking out when Owen grabs his arm and pulls him out of there.

Later, when either owen is bandaging curt up himself or watching the shady back room doctor work on him

"what was that?" Owen twirls his hair like a fucking teenaged girl like..... "You took a bullet for me?"

Maybe Curt throws himself in harm's way a little too often just to get that look on Owen's face.

#curtwen #spies are forever #personal #ya curt is so desperate to be wanted #and owen is like...theres something about seeing him bleed i just can't put my finger on it #fic idea

[chibishortdeath]

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

#text post #incoherent rambling #project update #game project #I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too #It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know? #I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult #either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about #which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀 #or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague #truly a balancing act writing is #kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members #which makes things both more and less difficult??? #on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔 #I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary #the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film #funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg #but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it #still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason #I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning #ugh writing is HARD #but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles #I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo #and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring #I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums #the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age #anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this #hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀

[sashimiyas]

edc is back in town which means it is time for another rave/festival au 🎡🎆

#reinas.inretrograde #anyone got tickets 👀 #i’m like desperately waiting for someone to tap out of be too tired for sunday #anyways some hcs for ya #suna’s always chewing on gum and never fails to slide you a piece like he’s committing an illicit deal #atsumu falls in love with any person that fans him #kita misses sets to hold your place in line at the ferris wheel #aran has definitely worn an open button with rubber duckies on it #samu is the king of hiding things past security

[shadowkira]

I'm gonna be honest. I want a fwb who is chill with sometimes just getting super stoned, eating junk food and just cuddling while we watch cooking shows.

I can't cook all that well but I'm 100% that person who sits there and tries to direct what they're doing from the couch. 😆

#My last partner was ace so we could be romantically involved and just chill but I desperately want a chill cuddle buddy. #We have great taste in snacks and movies too. predominantly horror but ya know... #Personal #Just wish I wasn't so bad with dating apps. ugh. #Also someone who appreciates neck nuzzling and the occasional nibble because I am like my cat.

[vigilantejustice]

do we think this means one week or two weeks? like. week of jan 8th and also week of jan 15th or is it jan 8th — jan 15th

#ya girl is spiraling :-) #also considering sending an email just to restate my interest and open a line of dialogue should they have any q’s regarding my application #like the way i’m much older than probably most applicants and also the huge gap in my resume #and would hate to just be passive about it #like just let it pass by without giving myself every chance #but don’t know if that would be super weird #surely it can’t hurt right? like they either don’t want me #do want me or were a little concerned #so i figure sending an email and being proactive can’t negatively sway it #like if they do want me this won’t look bad and if they don’t this won’t change that but if they were unsure this could swing it my way #i really could use this win #it’s not even about actually getting the position #which i’m desperate for #i just need the win of at least getting an interview #anyways. life is great everything is great definitely did not cry at the doctor’s office for literally no reason yesterday #personal

[b3comingme]

I’m really feeling like I need to quit smoking weed but after a decade of daily continual smoking and having not taken so much as a tolerance break since 2015 I’m honestly terrified? It feels impossible. I do use it for some legit reasons (or at least when I started my chronic pain was a lot more of an issue day to day) and I still use it to sleep because of ptsd nightmares but lately I just feel like I can’t stop and only smoke out of habit… avoid any feelings or boredom with it… every time I smoke I’m 50/50 on “wow I really want/need this” and “wow this does not feel good and just feels like I’m dissociating from wanting to acknowledge how fucking terrible everything is” 🙃

Idk if this even makes sense I’m just really struggling with this thought rn. Been trying to at least not immediately smoke when I wake up and just push it back a bit each day but even that has been hard to change at all… my first thought on waking is ok let’s get coffee and a bong in 🙃

Idk the point of this post even I’m just frustrated and thinking I want to quit but unsure and scared. Maybe posting about it will help me get some clarity on how it actually feels for me but idk

#personal #vent #420 #quitting weed #quitting smoking #addiction #and pls shut up if you wanna bitch about me tagging this as addiction bc I’ve dealt with other shit and ya this feels the same #the desperate cravings can’t sleep cold sweats panic and nausea if I try to even go a day or two without #feels fucking stupid to say but it is what it is I guess

[eccentricwearsgoggles]

i seriously feel like i’m in my prime rn. just positive vibing, but i won’t bore you with the details unless you want to

i’m at the most emotionally stable i’ve ever been in a long time, and i don’t always talk about that. but i’m actually really happy being able to care for things i was not able to before. 

and i’m actually super content not having to worry about dating, because 1) i’d only consider dating someone i know really well, and the timeframe should be short to transition into something serious. cuz 2) if i want anything it’s to be married. and again i know that takes time. and i’m just really content being by myself rn. it’s so freeing, i can work and volunteer all at my own schedule. and obvi building on my friendships etc, which can be socially draining for me since i’m typically a homebody LOL

#besides my gripes with my appearance at times #i know i'm worth it and a very loving person #so at this point i don't mind because i don't feel desperately lonely #ofc i yearn like any normal person lol but i'm good #it's just nice to work on finding a balance with your time #and it's satisfying when i get it right #but when i don't i'm like aaaaaaaa #anyways :) ya just rambling

[coolauntlilith]

Every now and then I replay the first episode of VLD and I wonder why I thought it be a good show lol

#mostly just the part where Allura is assigning pilots to lions #why lol. the first five people who show up are just perfect fits?? hate it lol #i have no au plot ideas but itd have made more sense to draw out the forming of voltron. like for a longer time. like its the s1 finale #and to be traveling looking for appropriate pilots #or the s2 finale? like what if the original gang somehow stayed in contact despite not being Voltron paladins and they proved being the best #team despite not piloting immediately. i feel like a stronger plot of their forming teamwork outside of being Voltron would have also made #their friendships seem more real too lmao #like what if Lance IS Blue's pilot bit hes the only one for a long time. the other lions couldn't actually *just be* located #*but. not bit. and what if Pidge runs off in a stolen vessel to find her dad and brother. what if Shiro isnt.. so flat as a character and is #desperate to find his old team and runs off with them to help out and free others #Keith could somehow get involved with The Blades a lot sooner #and Hunk finds his footing as a leader in rebellion organization. i hate that he was just the funny guy allll the way thru #also (still not a plot bc my brain is unorganized lol) Allura doesnt die. Shiro actually gets to be gay with a husband. and we either need #to not make Lotor a villain or just go all out on making him the worst. i personally dont want him to be a villain bc it was stupid lol #also PULEEEAASE Lance is bi. Lance “I'm just getting a feel for the stick” *obsessed with his rival who doesnt even know he exists* McClain #i want to see him get over his crush on Allura within like 6 episodes and then see him making out with the mermaids then Keith when everyone #starts reuniting lol. my bicon Lance deserves to kiss mermaids like we all do and then get on when the otp lol #now im nostalgic for s1 VLD vibes. ya know. before hell lol #it really just gets worse after ... s3? everyone feels different. i usually tolerate up to about the end of s3 before i feel like its donezo #aunt posting #vld #voltron: legendary defender

[strohller27]

.

#I’ve been thinking (and being alone with my thoughts like this is sometimes dangerous but what can ya do) #and like. I think I’ve been trying to make my standards high when it comes to dating to protect myself from getting hurt #which. of course? why wouldn’t I? but like. I think I tried to make my standards impossibly high so that when nobody lived up to them #I could just be like ‘oh! how sad! anyway it’s safer for me to be single because [whatever bullshit reason I can come up with]’ #and this does protect me from getting hurt. but it also protects me from good things like. being intimate with someone. #which. if I were to be perfectly honest? that’s the only thing in my life I think I’ve ever really wanted more than anything #but of course I’m scared of that. because being intimate with someone requires opening up to them. #laying yourself bare and hoping they stick around after seeing what you bring to the table. #and like. I feel like I’m the guy who is firmly planted in one of the tails of a normal distribution #(and I’m not talking about the better-than-average part of the distribution if you get what I mean) #so like. I know there probably aren’t a lot of people who would stick around after I took off all my masks and laid myself bare before them #and I haven’t met many people I’d be willing to try that for #but sometimes. someone comes into your life and you feel like you’re ready to risk it all #but you don’t. because being vulnerable is a dangerous place to be. feeling as desperate as I do at times is a dangerous place to be #and so I’m probably not going to risk anything. but. listen like #why.. if my standards are so high.. is there this person in my life capable of meeting all of them. #and why.. when I’m this out of my mind for someone.. do there seem to be so many obstacles between me and them #why do I always fall for the ones who listen to me and show me kindness when I’m fragile. #even when there isn’t a chance in heaven or hell that it’s gonna work out. #why do I often think about how many times we’ve hugged. why do I want to live up to their high opinion of me. #why do I play the things they’ve said to me over and over in my head like a broken record. #why do I always have to obsess about the people I fall for. why can’t I just be normal about this. #like. this is starting to get in the way of my everyday life. it’s occupying my mind most of the time. this can’t be healthy. #in short. why the Fuck am I Like This and How Do I Stop.

[lecliss]

Got full access to my bff's Netflix account finally and I started watching Code Lyoko and its kinda baffling to me how the theme song and the iconic reused shots and little sound effects activated neurons in my brain that have been dormant for almost 2 decades. It's like the same effect that the ps2 start up sound has on me. And the theme song is so good that the nostalgia hit is actually making me emotional.

#ya know. it was a teeny tiny part of my childhood that im kinda surprised actually. i do remember bits of the first episode and one #plot point in a later seasons. but otherwise nothing else. i think i barely even watched the show despite how much i loved it #but starting it again since i was like. idk??? eight maybe??? seven??? is hitting me with so many emotions #the scenes where they travel on the skateboards and swing on the ropes and get in the machine #when aelita floats up in the towers #every time the theme plays #fuck man. this show was so good. it really did leave a dormant impression on me huh?? #and in true 'grew up to have a funky gender and returning to an old piece of media i once liked' fashion. odd is so gender #hes canonically catboy coded. he has a purple highlight in his hair. his fucking outfit!!! hello!!! nonbinary catboy odd!!!! #hes so gender. hes so catboy gender. his gender is just catboy. the boy in there being gender neutral of course. #(tho i do have to say i never realized the show was SO desperate to try to show girls naked. that was a shock.) #personal

[shadowkira]

I'm gonna be honest. I want a fwb who is chill with sometimes just getting super stoned, eating junk food and just cuddling while we watch cooking shows.

I can't cook all that well but I'm 100% that person who sits there and tries to direct what they're doing from the couch. 😆

#My last partner was ace so we could be romantically involved and just chill but I desperately want a chill cuddle buddy. #We have great taste in snacks and movies too. predominantly horror but ya know... #Personal #Just wish I wasn't so bad with dating apps. ugh.

[oathkeeperoxas]

no one:

dark kermit me to myself: do more exchanges next year

#i only did 9 exchanges this year #flashback to when i did 29 exchanges in 2019. it was a different time #personal #I tried a few types of bangs this year and I don't think I need to do that again #I've properly given them a go as an adult writer and don't think we mesh #bingos are fun for writing that is for me #but sometimes i want to get a lil gift ya know? #plus it is the only way i can get people to write trans obi-wan content like pls im so desperate #shout out to my fffx writer this year who gave me 10k of trans codywan tatooine husbands time travelling fix #best fic i read this year i peaked early