#ugh writing is HARD

[lyingindecay]

I'm going fucking mad over here. I'm writing this Maximus request then got an idea for a Lucy/Reader/Maximus/Thaddeus fic and I'm running, crying, and screaming because I want to just put the idea directly from my brain onto a doc and I can't 😔

#lucy is just so sweet and sex positive #and thaddeus and maximus are... #in a cult so.... #the fic would be mainly maximus x reader and thaddeus x reader #with a dash of lucy #but she is there! #ugh writing is hard

[chibishortdeath]

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

#text post #incoherent rambling #project update #game project #I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too #It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know? #I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult #either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about #which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀 #or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague #truly a balancing act writing is #kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members #which makes things both more and less difficult??? #on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔 #I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary #the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film #funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg #but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it #still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason #I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning #ugh writing is HARD #but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles #I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo #and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring #I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums #the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age #anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this #hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀

[mychemicalrachel]

Dizzy ✨ Dizzy ✨ Dizzy ✨ Dizzy

Trying my best to get one last chapter posted before the year is over. Wish me luck...

The first time he met Prokopenko, he was struck by the caricature that was pre-teen rebellion; a scrawny boy who had barely touched the beginning of puberty with a cigarette between his fingers, who introduced himself by his last name. It was one of the very first times that Kavinsky felt the trajectory of his life tilt precariously off balance. Until then, everything was according to plan. Ivan Prokopenko was not the kind of person one could plan for and it was there in his voice, a silent offering, when Proko said, “You’re Joseph Kavinsky, right?”

It was a choice then, as miniscule as it may have been, to pick something else. He could be Joseph Kavinsky, the legacy heir with a heavy crown, the person he was told to be… or he could be someone else.

“Kavinsky,” he said. “It's just Kavinsky.”

In the confines of Derek Swanson’s bedroom, in the heat between his sheets, Kavinsky didn’t exist. He slipped into another self, he became whatever Derek wanted to make of him– submissive, passive, relaxed; he was simply K.

K liked the roughness of Derek’s hands on his waist, the taste of Derek’s fingers in his mouth, the whine that caught in his throat when Derek hit a certain sensitive spot inside of him. K liked the burn in his lungs and the ache in his back and falling asleep next to a solid body, even if he usually woke up alone. K liked not having any concerns or fears or guilt or cares. He could simply exist in this nonexistent state.

#dizzy #wip wednesday #this is supposed to be the chapter where niall and aurora die #and im trying so hard to get it just right #ugh writing is hard #rovinsky #kavinsky

[wizard0rbs]

when the academic article is so good it has you giggling and kicking your feet

#im sitting in my uni library trying really hard not to jump around with joy #this article is soo fascinating and has so many interesting points ugh #also itll be very helpful for a paper im writing so double yay #its 'the trick of the runes in the husband's message' by john d. niles btw and its available on jstor #in case anyone is interested #OE studies #aca #studyblr

[neon-danger]

Me writing myself into corners every three paragraphs

#yeah okay cool I painted this pretty word picture #but what does it matter if it doesn’t go anywhere #ugh writing is hard #neon speeks

[creeperthescamp]

i think one of the least used concepts in elder scrolls lore is its nebulous relationship to truth.

like something i do actually appreciate about that cunt kirkbride's writing in morrowind is that the mythology of the tribunal is allowed to be relatively ambiguous and there's room for poetry and fable and unreliable narrators. there's a strong general tendency in both fandom and dev to interpret lore quite literally and treat every text as reliable sources of fact about tamriel even when the text is like. fiction or written with a clear bias towards certain factions or prejudices.

the main example I'm thinking of is the 'notes on racial phylogeny' lore book. it's literally just racist pseudoscience and in a real life context would be considered unreliable and deeply offensive. but in tes, i rarely see anyone stop to actually consider that perhaps this lore isn't really a factual study of how bodies work but about how the imperial empire categorises the people it colonises and justifies it's supremacy. there's so much focus on determining the rules and metaphysical aspects of the world that there's no consideration that the way factions like the empire see the world is inherently flawed.

it's fun to think of a world where stars are literal holes punched in the fabric of the sky, or that water is made of memory, but i also think it would be a much more fun and flexible world if these theories are considered to be just a few of many lenses that people in tamriel use to try to understand their world. some of my favourite pieces of lore and world building are things like 'cherims heart of anequina' that imply a rich world of culture and art; i love the idea that tamriel has art and art critics and people who discuss ideas for other purposes than trying to figure out what's The Only True Lore.

#martin posts #tes #morrowind #the elder scrolls #ugh i do not feel that confident in my ability to analyse and write essays on stuff but i like to try anyway #when i started googling stuff i just got more confused and frustrated. these games must be very hard to write a wiki about #i would someday like to put these ideas into better words and gather more evidence. but writing it here is a start i guess

[egoarc4de]

if it stops i'm having an unshakable nightmare

#my art #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 engineer #tf2 sniper #tw blood #tw gore #tw gun #it's tf2 you get the picture! #HELLOOOOO #been working on these all week #based on something i started writing in the early summer but that will neverrrr be finished i dont think. ugh. #posted this to the wrong account too LOL #havent drawn in forever but it feels awesome #my favourite part of all of these is probably that little three decker in the left corner of the second one #this is what happens to you when youre coping w uni and listening to underscores parquet courts and CCR nonstop #link is the playlist of songs i listened to nonstop while drawing these hoohooheehee #peep the backgrounds too!! #trying to be less stiff with digital art is so hard but ill keep working on it o7 #also never drawn tf2 before give me time my friends! #is it obvious i didnt even bother to look at what a baseball bat looked like in the first one orz

[aroceu]

i've been rewatching the good place with a friend lately so i've been thinking about it a lot and i just keep thinking

about how eleanor says so much that she's not a bad person, she's just a "medium" person. she didn't kill anyone, she didn't technically abuse anyone, she was selfish but not "horrible," she was human.

except when we see eleanor pre-death, we see something different. no, she didn't murder anyone. but she was pretty horrible. she was really good at lying to elderly people to sell them fake drugs. she abused her friend's dog. she lied to her coworkers to get out of driving for them at the bar. she felt so threatened by people feeling like they were better than her that when she saw concrete proof that a coffee shop manager was misogynistic and sexually assaulted someone, she enthusiastically supported the cafe to be contrary to her boyfriend.

she is very obviously a horrible person. even in season 2, michael calls her a manipulative demon; that's not something you get called if you're just a "medium" person. what we're told, and what her reasoning is a lie. but she doesn't know it. it's a lie to the viewers.

she also stands in stark contrast with jason—who has broken the law multiple times, has gotten arrested multiple times, likes celebrities and hobbies that have a terrible reputation (not just for being "trash" but for being actively hateful), and even if he might not have killed someone, there's probably something in his repertoire that comes close. but at the same time, it's very, very obvious to see that he's a good-hearted person, who wants to do more good than harm. compared to eleanor, whose bad actions are much smaller in comparison, but her bad personality makes her less likable, and much worse. yes, of course it's about environment—but it's also about how goodness might be more accurately judged by intent than by action.

i saw someone say that it was unrealistic that eleanor didn't call chidi a racial slur when she was a white woman from arizona. sentimentally, i agree with the realism argument. but at the same time, i think it would've been out of place. eleanor would know that saying a slur is on a different level of wrong. a lot of the bad things she did were indirect; it was a lot about what she did when no one was looking. but she didn't want to see herself as a horrible person, so she wouldn't have wanted anyone to see either. as long as they didn't get too close for her.

eleanor being a "medium" person is a lie. of course she belongs in the bad place. she's initially presented as a "medium person" because the story wants us to be on her side, wants us to believe that she's as human as us, until the season one flashbacks start to tell a different story. then it makes us squint and go, no, eleanor really is a terrible person. but the show is aware of this too!

and yet, the thesis of the show is that bad people can always get better. that no one is beyond rehabilitation; that society fucks us up but it's still the choices that we make that mean the most about who we are in the end. we get to see the growth of eleanor's good person journey through the entirety of season one, so that even as we realize she was a shitty person on earth, we're still rooting for her by the end of it. season one is the show's entire thesis; seasons two through four are just proving it to us. and eleanor proves herself to us over and over again, so that even as we know how terrible she was, and how terrible she's capable of being, we still know and believe that she belongs in the good place at the end.

#eleanor is just. a really good protagonist!!!! ugh #also i just love the good place and i kept thinking about this #the good place #tgp #eleanor shellstrop #i guess #i will not often write meta about white women but mike schur really went hard with this one #an aroceu original

[fishyartist]

Ui idea tests, thrown together bc im eepy. Was planning on doing more but I spent all my days energy on the second one oops

#Danny phantom #I need to draw more or I’ll die <- guy who’s meds exhaust them #writing is so hard how do u not make everyone sound like you through a bad filter #Ik that’s unavoidable in some ways (like how art style will always look like u did it+not someone else) #but ugh. I’ll figure it out eventually takes practice+learning+all that #was planning on writing today but then I though ‘huh it might b fun to make some fake ‘’screenshot’’ concepts #also the portal basement has a more complex design but again #eepy #I think the gimmicky MySpace-inspired boxes r fun but idk how well I could keep that theme going w/ some characters #I also never used MySpace so that’s maybe just a kill issue #*skill lol #the command prompt one would basically just be for the portal #I keep saying that this project isn’t feasible buy my hyperfixated ass keeps trying anyways

[whaliiwatching]

Im goijg to eat your art oh my goodness

honestly you are probably the sole reason i began shipping noirpunk THEYRE SO FUCKING ADORABLE

glad to be recruiting for the cause! this one tastes like sugar cookies. perhaps also arsenic but who’s to say

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #inbox love #it’s so hard to draw cheek kisses ugh #but i fucking did it!!!! #kinda ignoring drawing in favor of writing rn #but that’s not going great either lol #bit of a sad day too but we forge on #they’re in love send tweet #would like to add uhhhh genderfluidity to the mix

[crybaby-bkg]

Sleazy Dabi who likes going for the sweet ones, the ones who can hardly look him in the eye and hesitate a little when he gets close to them. The ones who always chuckle nervously when he starts flirting, whose words turn to whispers when they admit they’re new to this whole thing.

Whole thing? He always asks with a tip of their chin to look him in the eye. Whole thing with guys like you, they always mumble back. He likes the look, the challenge, the fight in their eyes as he knows how his charm can soothe their battling minds.

He wins every time.

Sleazy Dabi who likes the inexperienced ones, the ones who stutter and stumble and shake a little when his hand rests on their thighs. The ones who tell him, they don’t know what they’re doing. He loves the sweet little look that passes over their faces when he reassures them that he’ll be there every step of the way, holding their hands if he needs to.

But sleazy Dabi who loves you the most. His latest, and last, plaything turned lover. Who used to be so scared to touch him without shaking, who couldn’t look him in the eye without smiling whenever he kissed you. Who used to sing him the prettiest songs whenever he made you work for it, gain that confidence he knew was lurking beneath the shadows.

Before, when he told you to ride him for the first time, he can still remember the scared little look on your face. How your eyes grew round and you fiddled with your fingers, whispering that you don’t know how—don’t know what to do—where to put your hands—where to look. He comforted you, walked you through the whole thing until you lost yourself in the moment and fell headfirst into him.

And now? Now, he doesn’t even have to ask.

“It looks so pretty,” he hears you murmur under your breath, eyes snapping down to look at the sight of you. Pumping a hand around his drooling cock, pulling until the pre gathers in your palm, only to slide it back down again once more. He looks up when he feels your stare, licking his lips at your hung open mouth and round eyes and heaving chest.

“Lemme ride it. Please?” You ask softly. Usually, he’d remind you of your manners, question where that sweet, innocent, hesitant person went, ask when you became so bold. But you look so hungry for it, already raising on your knees, already swiping his pierced tip through your wetness.

“You know it’s yours. You don’t even have to ask.” Dabi mutters against your mouth when you lean into him, gasping when he breaches your hole. And he means what he said—ever since he met you, every part of him has been yours, even if you didn’t know it yet.

#tw: virginity #I hate hm so much I’m gonna frow up #I started this over a month ago #why has writing been so hard and taking me so long UGH #I’m gonna try and write a little tomorrow #okay gn #I’m craving a chocolate frappe soooo bad help #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dabi treats! 🍬

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[kisses4kaia]

HUNNN WE NEED MORE ETHAN CHARLIE AND READER THREESUM 🙏🙏🙏

AHHH OKOKOK i seriously didn't think u guys would like it that much ! thank you so much❤❤ (for reference, here's the og) gn!reader for this but not for pt 1 :)

brooklyn baby🎶- c, walker ,, & e, landry ,,

they're filling your holes so well. it's almost comical how muffled your moans around ethan's cock were.

"taking it so well, hm whore?" taunted ethan, pulling your hair to look up at him with your glossed-over eyes. "please," your beg was hardly coherent through the saliva-coated cock shoved down your throat.

"please what?" charlie inquired. although you couldn't see the boy, you could hear the smirk in his tone.

you weren't quite sure. you whined due to the underlying fact that you had no idea what you were begging for.

"pathetic slut, doesn't even know what they're begging for," ethan's smile was large and his eyes were dark.

both of their hips were snapping against the opposite ends of you as all three of you reached climax. sweet, blissful, hot, climax.

and of course, they clean you up.

and of course, they treat you as well as they fuck you, and they fuck you good. the warm, soapy water your skin is soaking in from the bath soothed all the tension in your muscles as ethan sat on the edge of the tub, rubbing your shoulders.

and of course, charlie wasn't far. just outside in the living room, finding a movie for the three of you to watch while you drift to sleep.

#nonnieees💗 #kai's got mail <3📑 #charlie walker #rory culkin #scream #scream 4 #ethan landry #jack champion #charlie walker smut #ethan landry smut #gn!reader #scream 6 #ugh love this concept so hard #lemme know if yall wanna see more !! #kaia writes charlie #kaia writes ethan

[celestie0]

okay here me out,

thinking about an au that’s maybe set in victorian times with gojo and he’s like the king of this one nation. he has four wives (including you), but you were the first out of the four. over time, you’ve started distancing yourself and let the other three please and take his time just so he could “forget” about you.

but one day, you did something that made him remember why he chose you first. he finds out that not only are you friends with the king of a (rival) kingdom, *cough cough suguru*, but that you’re planning an uproar against him.

so, he starts seeking you out more, including you more, picking you to accompany him when he goes out, choosing to have you only pleasure him or sleep in his bed, disregarding the other three.

but, you still don’t know that he knows about your plans….so when the time comes to finally put things into action……..

omg i fucking LOVE medieval AUs they make me go insane ✋🏼😩 they r so challenging to write though

THE DECEIT AND ENEMIES TO LOVERS IN THIS WLD GO CRAZY what if reader was originally sent to marry gojo to overthrow his kingdom in the first place but then when he starts to show more interest in her n starts treating her as THE queen, she feels conflicted 🫣�� but she goes through w the plan anyway bc i NEED the betrayal angst hsdkdldhdhdg

what if suguru n gojo go to war for the reader 💅🏼 now THAT is the level of pining i need in an au LOL

i can imagine gojo wld be so cocky w his other wives n try to make u jealous by bedding them when you’re nearby/around just so you can hear (like robert n cersei in game of thrones vibes) but you’re just unbothered by it and that BOTHERS him like no other bc women usually fall to his feet 😤🤭

u cooked w this babe i love this ideaaa

#i wanted to write a GOT adjacent fic #but that wld be soooo hard #medieval aus are my ABSOLUTE FAVE THO #like the ideas of kingdoms n princes n queens n war #ugh #asks #joemama-2

[im-sorry-what-ii]

yknow the classic uni professors au, the one where prof A spends half their time talking about their spouse and prof B has never said a word about their personal life ever but then it turns out theyre pining or married or whatever, yeah i think theres a chronic lack of those in the top gun fandom. bc the classic icemav teaches at top gun meets no homophobia au is the *perfect* setup and i cant believe no ones written it

#do i have to do everything in this family #jk cuz i doubt im going to #if someone wants to write this please i will give you my kidney but like no pressure #top gun #icemav #currently love the professor aus #reading the good omens ones rn and yes i love them #especially the ones where the students get them together #wow #should i write this #i havent written anything since the last wip that got too hard and was abandoned #mmmmmm maybe i should #ugh but its a commitment #we'll see

[tswwwit]

I am in

#this is a shitpost #writing is hard #I'm halfway through but UGH it took a while to get even that far #Stupid 12k document being LONG and ANNOYING #I'm gonna slam dunk it into the trashcan