#you CANT blame smokers.

[sunfoxfic]

We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

#i hate hate HATE nicotine after watching my parents smoke when i grew up #its gross and bad for your money and bad for your health #and i get it. theres SO MANY socioeconomic factors that make it a complicated issue. #you CANT blame smokers. #but it feels like people are just accepting the institution for what it is bc now it tastes good #bitch just chew gum jfc #it doesn't matter if its an industry issue. we have seen in the past that making it “uncool” hurts the industry #make nicotine uncool again PLEASE #grumbles

[melonteee]

ooooo is it garp hating hour? i know i know, grey morality and all that but i just literally cant fathom 'raising' a kid (well mostly throwing them at other people to raise just to come rough em up every few months), having them at one point ask if they deserve to live WHEN THEYRE NOT EVEN 13 YET because of someone elses actions, and then like. blaming them for their impending execution when they finally find a purpose that brings them happiness. and still acting like you loved them or truly cared for them.

especially when ace found HUNDREDS of people who loved him enough to put their lives on the line to save him AS A PIRATE, while his surrogate marine gramps literally sits there and watches.

pirates who then had enough love and honor to then ensure aces beloved little bro survives even after ace himself dies

bro. he wasnt happy at all under you. youre now THREE FOR THREE, no marines. the problem is you, garp. (and the system, but obviously)

i try to be impartial and understand where characters are coming from, but garp just... he knows too much! seen too many of the atrocities commited by marines and the world gov! he should 100% know better by this point!

garp is my breaking point baaaaaby!

(sengoku is also on thin ice but eh)

No fr you're right about all of this, Garp has an extreme victim complex to me.

"Ohhh why does my own son hate me?! Why does my grandson defy me!! Oh woe is me!! They just need to be marines!!!"

Maybe you're being a cunt towards them with your own bootlicking beliefs you STUPID!! STUPID GILF!!!! Sexy outside but a YUCKY INSIDE!!

However I think the point of Garp is he doesn't want to BELIEVE the marines are so bad to the point they're unfixable. Garp DOES see bad things in the marines, and he WANTS to fix it - but in doing so, he's made Koby! Who is now ALSO deliberately blind to the filthy ways of the marines. Koby HAS seen it (such as Captain Morgan and Akainu), and because he's following Garp's example, Koby believes he CAN fix the system from the inside with some elbow grease.

We KNOW the marines cannot be fixed from the inside, we have marines like Smoker who also know this and marches to the beat of his own drum due to how much he hates the marines and their false, taught sense of justice. Garp is even a VICE ADMIRAL and he STILL can't change whatever the hell he wanted to change!

Garp truly believes there IS justice in the marines, or justice in BEING a marine, and this is why he's such a bootlicker. He's an old man stuck in his old ways, and instead of seeing merit in or UNDERSTANDING the revolutionary army his son has started - he's decided that's the WRONG way to go about justice.

Garp believes old people are not worth saving or not welcome in the future, and in doing so, he's internalised this as an old man HIMSELF and refuses to change. It's kind of sad, but to me, Garp just doesn't want to realise he's been in the wrong his entire life.

#ask #melonask

[slashingdisneypasta]

Greasy Weasel x Fem!Reader || Drabble

Plot: In which Greasy has the sweetest, kindest, most forgiving (to a f a u l t) S/O, who also cheated while she was away on her trip and even begged him for forgiveness for their mistake-- and he still chooses to keep his own dirty little secret to himself.

Warnings: Cheating!!

"Greasy I- I was lonely. It was a bad night, and I m i s s e d you, and I just wanted to feel good. I know thats not an excuse, b- but- " Your sniffles and sobs wracked your entire body, guilt and shame all over your face and in your shaking fingers. "Please, I- I need you to forgive- forgive me. I love you, and I- I- "

When Y/N looks like she's about to become inconsolable, and possibly crumple to the floor, Greasy swiftly abandons his spot rooted to the floor and rushes to her; gathering her in his arms and comforting her. "Mariposa!! I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you. Of course!!" With every 'i forgive you', he gives you a kiss on the head- and its like a huge and insurmountable rock is lifted off of your chest as you look up, teary eyed, from his chest to his face; beseeching him. Hoping this is real and not just a wonderful, wonderful dream. "We all make mistakes- I don't blame you at all.

I missed you, too."

~

After you left that night, after he pulled you together and 'forgave' you (After all, there was really nothing to forgive), and you were so grateful (He had to admit- a small, demented part of him loved that), and you enjoyed the rest of your first night back together in the same postcode, Greasy went to the kitchen and found Wheezy. He was smoking at the table, skimming yesterdays newspaper, and Greasy wondered around slowly making a tea before sitting down. "... I cheated, too, Wheezy." He says after a while.

He had to tell someone, and el fumador doesn't blab. It is his best quality, in Greasy's humble opinion.

"What!?" The look on Wheezy's face, full of shock, and disgust, and a little bit of anger, was enough to convince Greasy he did the right thing; not telling you. It reassures him.

There was no reason to hurt you. He was happy to keep this in, keep this a dirty little secret forever. Its not like he would ever do it again... he feels terrible. So, no harm no foul, right?

"Why didn't you tell her??" Wheezy continues on, baffled at greasy sitting so calmly across the small kitchen table from him. "She told you she did the same damn thing, didn't she?? What'd you say???"

"I- I... said I would forgive her anything. I comforted her."

"Jesus christ." The smoker rubs his temple hard, making his skin roll across his forehead. Greasy rather hates that. It makes him feel like he's done something wrong.

"She feels better now! Thats what matters- if I told her that I slept with someone else... she would just cry, again. I cant watch her cry, again. You don't want that, do you??"

Wheezy growls around 5 cigarettes, the ends glowing bright orange for a moment, and shakes his head through the smoke. "Don't put this on me just cuz you're feelin' guilty, Grease. Y'know what you shoulda done. 'Nd why you didn't." Here he gives Greasy a look, like he knows Greasy better then Greasy would like him to. Like he sees things in him that he keeps carefully hidden under layers and layers. Like he knows- he knows, part of Greasy enjoys being the one to Forgive, for once. And the part of him thats just... scared. Terrified, that Y/N will find out he did this thing to her and despite the fact that she did the same, she still wont be able to forgive him. Coward that he is, he cant lose her.

And Greasy is pretty sure Wheezy is right about that. Still, though- "I have no idea what you're talking about. I saved my sweet Y/N from heartbreak-- and therefor, I think its safe to say, I did the right thing."

At this Wheezy just groans, smoking and looking upwards to the ceiling light; tobacco fumes floating upwards into the ceiling. They can clearly see the bugs in the ceiling light, twitching and buzzing in the electric illumination. They watch those bugs together for a few minutes, sitting in terribly uncomfortable silence.

Finally el fumador speaks again, but Greasy wishes he didn't. "... when she finds out, her heart's really gonna break, Grease. And you're gonna regret y'didnt tell her when you had the chance." Here he gets up, and oh Greasy hates that; hates that he'd not the first to leave. That Wheezy has the gall to leave him at the table. "And the worst part is you're gonna have no one to blame but your fucken self."

Then Wheezy scoops up the paper, and leaves the room. And Greasy is left with his untouched tea and the bugs buzzing quietly overhead. ... After a moment, he picks up his cup of tea in both hands and takes a deep, soothing sniff; steadying himself.

"I did the right thing." And if he didn't- she'll never find out, anyway. Its fine~ ^^ Wheezy sure wont tell her.

#um... sorry for the angst? XD #the only excuse i have for this is um... smiling was hurting my face. so. i had no choice- #anyway so who wants a part 2 where y/n finds out? XD #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Wheezy Weasel #Greasy Weasel x Reader Drabble #Greasy Weasel

[prettyboykatsuki]

I want to tell you a story about my first (and only) time with edibles.

For a little background, I smoked a lot when I was younger and a little bit when my husband and I first met (12 years ago) but I have no experience with any sort of edibles. One evening at my part-time job, the cook and I were talking about it, and he offered me a gummy. Again, no experience whatsoever. I'd been really stressed lately and I thought, eh, what can it hurt? He said it would take a while to kick in, and I was at the end of my shift anyway, so I took him up on the offer and ate. The whole thing.

I didn't know you weren't supposed to eat the whole thing unless you wanted to be blitzed out of your mind.

He came back to check on me a few minutes later. "How much of that did you eat, by the way?"

"All of it," I said, and he laughed.

"How's your tolerance?"

"Nonexistent. I haven't smoked in years."

He said I'd probably be alright, but didn't really elaborate further. And I truly don't think he meant any harm in not telling me to only eat a portion of it. I shrugged and we closed up and went out to the parking lot, said goodbye, and then I started my car.

I live five minutes from work, and I swear it took me three hours to get there. I got home and tried so hard to act normal, so my husband wouldn't suspect anything. I told him I was tired; he took the kids out for ice cream and I sat in my kitchen and stared out the window trying so hard not to be high.

When my family returned, I laid on the couch and watched Power Rangers with my son. I was REALLY invested, and kept asking him questions, but there's one part of that conversation that I remember vividly.

"See that guy, mom? He's like a ghost. He's not real."

"You're not real!" I cried, and my son thought it was THE funniest thing I've ever said.

So anyway, if I ever do have an edible again, I'll only eat like a quarter of it, and I'll do it at home while my kids aren't there.

(you don't have to post this, it's SO LONG. but I hope you have a much more enjoyable high than I did.)

lin i cant stop laughing at this ask FDKJHGSDKFJLGF. I FEEL BAD AS IF IT HAPPENED TO ME

I DONT BLAME YOU THOUGH.... it's like. even with experienced weed smokers i think taking the edible is just a completely different THING lmao. i've been smoking on and off for years and years (even though im total dogshit at it even now... don't know how that happened). i smoked and got high basically everyday of my sophmore year of hs and had done other drugs, but i still remember my first edible experience it was the wild LMAOOO

i have an okay tolerance to it now but before........my goodness......it is quite the experience to get that like... long-term bone deep kind of high that is so frightening. especially the first time.

i started taking edibles after smoking a lot and i found i preferred it but the first time i took it i took like. 3 entire ones and almost died and i have not made the mistake since

I FEEL VERY PLEASANTLY HIGH RN THO.... THANK U BELOVED LIN

#return to sender

[exx-ceptional]

This was requested!

Zdrada x GN reader whos allergic to tobacco smoke im sorry if its a bit ooc.!!!!!!! And have errors..!!.!.!.!?!?!?!?!

-------------------------------

A concerning pair! That's what you both were called- being with a smoker while being allergic to tobacco yourself is risky yet quite awarding if there really is chemistry between the both of you.

Suprsingly, there was chemistry between you and Zdrada.

----------------------

It was another day with the one and only Zdrada- the demon whos probably gonna be the one to kill you soon, yet the more you've stuck with her the more you wanted to stay even if it would cost your life doing so, in the end you're still here so maybe there really was a thing between you and her.

The "thing" ended up as a romantic relationship. Maybe opposites do attract! In a sense of addication and allergies then yes.

-----

It was the dead of the night you and Zdrada where downing Beers and any other Alcoholic drink you both were able to find.

Out of her head Zdrada lit up a cigar completely intoxicated to the fact forgeting of whatever the hell you go through when sniffing a speck tobacco smoke.

"Hell.!! Put that nasty shit out-!"

You shout in disgust your lungs getting all fucked up because of the smoke, you couldnt contain the amount of violent coughs that went out of you, tears streamed down your face as you desperately tried fanning the smoke away while retreating to the kitchen.

Retreating was a no go as you trip and stub your toe on the shitty glass table forgetting that you just downed a bottle of alcohol.

Zdrada wasted no time to unlight her cigar once realising the state you're in, very wierd of the demon to do so for someone!

But you were her significant someone.

Quickly rushing to your aid she seems annoyed but more or so worried of you, its her fault she'd hate to admit but cmon! Cant blame her for forgeting you can get hospitalized from the same thing she smokes.

"Goddamnit.. Dont put me into this much work if you're gonna die??"

She said, clearly annoyed while carying your very much weak body to the sofa you both were very much calmly sitting on a few seconds ago until, yknow.. this?

Your face absoulutely was red, especially your nose, red to the fact you can compare it to that one reindeer santa has..

She sat down beside your lying body, still clearly being in denial that being annoyed at you is probably wrong, she cant help but not accept it, yet she really is worried of you.

She would, she would probably have a chance to quit smoking just for you for a second, you're human! she'd rather let you die by age rather by her smoking habits.

But now to think about it, yes, it is her fault. Maybe she could quit not just for someone just because of common sense of it being unhealthy, but she would be more willing to do so just for you, if you never did came into her life she'd probably wouldnt had lower her habits of smoking.

"Damn.. We couldnt even finish the last bottle huh?"

----------------

FIN.

#helltaker x reader #zdrada #helltaker #is this angst? #is this fluff? #fiction #writing #cringe #fluff #angsty #allergic ass reader

[driedrottenflowersblog]

To be happy

This is notes from 2-hour podcast from Huberman Lab podcast, eps 98: Science-based tools for increasing happiness.

Happy or happiness here defined as a state of body. Kinda similar to what it means for being healthy, but expand the meaning "healthy". From what he said I kinda think he meant being happy means you're being mentally healthy.

Language (happy, content, joyful, delight, meaning) is not a reliable description for the state of happiness.

There is no chemicals in brain which individually responsible to the state of happiness--> though lower baseline of serotonin and dopamine usually for being in high or low mood.

Money cant buy happiness but it sure can buffer stress.

Sleep, nutrition, social interaction, purposeful work (paid/non-paid work), exercise, pet (?)

U-shaped function in life stages (x-axis) vs happiness (y-axis). --> on why in middle stage of life tend to be less happy : raising children --> peer-pressure, much higher awareness on where you are in comparison to other in that age.

Chronic smokers and alcohol consumers anticorrelated with happiness.

Natural happiness (long-term pursuit of happiness) / synthetic happiness --> synthetic happiness need some conditioning to be induced --> apparently give similar effect --> as simple as making workspace "cheerful" --> the pressure from common notion, that happiness comes from within, isnt exactly true --> environment (physical and social) DOES AFFECT happiness level. --> synthetic >< self-directed happiness

Receiving gratitude (genuine) > observing powerful exchange of gratitude from other people (movie etc) > giving gratitude (genuine) --> associated with happiness/ well-being --> its not morally false to actually be wanting this out of selfish purpose (to be happy).

"Spending money on others promote happiness" --> but if the one receiving genuinely need it.

A wondering mind is unhappy mind. --> regardless of whether the activity we were engaging not particularly enjoyable --> focus mind is "happier" state. --> wandering mind is the cause, not the effect of. --> building focus and stay present is one way to be happy --> short meditation (13 min) --> ability to focus is possible to built

Quality social connection is extremely powerful (romantic, friendship, even daily superficial connection), even as simple as recognizing familiar faces in crowds --> presence and eye contact --> consensual grooming (?) or physical touch

synthetic happiness -==- fabricated happiness

notion of option vs happiness --> when people an ongoing set of choices, it reducing happiness. --> not exactly mean when you have options--> you'll be happy but.. once you settle on one option, making other options still available --> I think he have mentioned this in his tweet but I kinda want to paraphrase it (just in the mood for paraphrasing now).. Intense cognitive work is metabolically draining And hence brain actually have limited resources Eventually synthetic or fabricated happiness is sets of dos and donts in order to preserve that mental state When we put our mind in wondering "what will happen if.." or "i can actually do… instead of the thing im doing now…", we are wasting those limited resource and become less satisfied with the choice we made. and become less happy.. So deliberately limit the other options and the thoughts about the other option --> better.

Final takeout Natural happiness : rewards after efforts Synthetic happiness : social connection --> doesnt mean fake happiness, but happiness which can be obtained through deliberate action + engaging on something

Ability to be happy = ability to focus/give attention

Personal comments

Social deprivation (I guess this is what makes me "miserable" during this years in Thailand) --< kinda normalize my introverted nature, w/o awareness of genuine relationship require mediocre friendship first. --< not trying to blame my environment, but the it does takes part (lesson for me: whenever im exposed to new environment, I should be expecting this already)

I wonder what purpose I actually have.

#huberman lab #Spotify

[hnnyoongs]

akai shuichi headcanons

shuichi wears a beanie all the time because he's self conscious about hir hairline .... and I mean who can blame him? id be too

shuichi saw gin when he was visiting Japan in the 10 years ago flashback and was like ooh long hair is cool AND it'll piss ka-san off flash forward 5 years later when shuichi infiltrates the BO and is like fUck cool long hair dude is a psycho

shuichi cut his hair off when he heard akemi was killed by gin he kinda went into the whole mental breakdown mode and was like fuck this shit because he started growing his hair out cuz of gin and also akemi really liked his long hair

shuichi used to be a band kid when he lived in England and wanted to pursue a career in music (much to the chagrin of Mary) but after tsutomu disappeared he was like fuck that and stopped playing until he entered the BO

shuichi has a really bad memory about things that dont have to do anything with his job kinda like BBC's Sherlock but not as bad

shuichi used to find dead bodies when he was a kid just like shinichi but it wasn't as often maybe like a dead body once a year or something

shuichi named himself dai because that's what Mary actually wanted to name him when she was giving birth she was screaming die die die and tsutomu wasn't there yet so she was like aight die sounds like the japanese name dai the only reason shuichi wasn't named that was that tsutomu burst in and was like FUCK NO

shuichi was picked on when training for the FBI since compared to 6 foot jock white men shuichi was a 5 foot 7 asian with long hair and dressed like a teenage girl who frequented Starbucks in the toxic environment of the FBI for anyone who doesnt fit the mold shuichi had it cut out for him

shuichi showed signs of multiple mental illnesses but they were all difficult to pin down so he was never diagnosed with anything since he refused to talk at the FBI mandated therapy sessions

shuichi's type is someone who is kind but could wield a gun

he used to dislike kids but being around them as okiya has made SOME kids special in his heart

before tsutomu's disspeareance he taught shuichi how to hunt with a shotgun

shuichi lived off of sports drinks and bars whenever he was single since he couldn't rely on take out due to it being unhealthy which wouldn't help his FBI styled life

shuichi taught akemi simple self defense techniques but refuses to teach her how to shoot a gun saying he didn't want her hands to get dirty

shuichi and shukichi blackmail each other for favors by using the "ill tell ka-san you did that one thing that you blamed dad for when we were kids if u dont help me out"

scotch once told him that bourbon's type was a white milf (in reference to Elena who was white and was a mother) so shuichi was scared as fuck when rei met Mary's adult self for the first time

shuichi hates being compared to his mother but the truth is they're the most similar and they both started mimicking tsutomu after his disappearance

the only thing shuichi knew how to cook before meeting yukiko was plain white rice as that was the only thing tsutomu was able to teach him

shuichi mimics an American accent while talking in America or talking in English unless he's talking to his family or he's mentally shook up and his British accent slips out

he thinks in British accented English as well (idc if the animanga shows him thinking in japanese it makes no sense that western raised people like Jodie and camel think in japanese) but he does use some japanese like ka-san and when he's trying to get deep into his okiya persona

he tries very hard to keep the polite speech patterns of okiya Subaru since as akai shuichi he's very .. rude

shuichi's sniper skills were so good the fbi was willing to overlook his disrespect of authority and his tendency to do everything by himself without consulting everyone

shuichi slips into a British accent around James if he's feeling really comfortable

he felt bad about using shiho since she was only a year older than masumi and she hadn't done anything wrong so he vowed to get her and akemi out of the BO

he had a plan to get akemi and shiho out by convincing the higher ups to grant them immunity if they testified but akemi's death derailed the entire thing

he hates to admit it but his family is the most important thing to him he may not contact them that often but he's going to such lengths to bring his father back because he cares for his family so much

shuichi didnt really know what he wanted to do with his life once he took down his father's pursuers but after akemi and scotch he decided that if he solved his father's disappearance first he'd hunt down the BO next tho once learning that Haneda Koji’s death had something to do with the BO he's back at the thing where he doesn't know what to do with his life without revenge

he promised shukichi that he'd be the one to solve shukichi's death if what happened to Haneda kohji also happens to shukichi

he isn't a fan of dates in amusement parks but if it makes his partner happy and smile he'll have fun

dating Jodie was a quiet thing most likely from an attachment maybe due to a bad case or a loss of a mutual friend depending on the agency they might have been legally allowed to date each other but it is usually looked down upon I dont think they went out together often probably spending time together at home ... doing stuff

he identifies as bisexual it was normal to him in childhood since both Mary and tsutomu talked about their past relationships to their children he never told anyone due to the fact it would affect his FBI status since it was illegal in America shukichi and Mary know he's bi but shuichi has no idea Mary knows

akemi and shuichi would take strolls in parks go shopping and go to cafes

he's very self conscious about his height and whenever he goes to Japan it makes him feel good about himself since he's relatively tall there

Mary was the one who drilled japanese into his head not tsutomu

the last time shuichi talked to Mary was when he called her up to tell her to take masumi and leave Japan for Britain after masumi cornered him and scotch him and Mary had a whole argument and after that they stopped talking to each other, not that they talked to each other much in the first place

shuichi learned jee kun do by watching training videos from vhs tapes/cds/YouTube depending on when you consider detco taking place I personally believe conan shrinks in 2018 meaning that tsutomu disappeared in 2001 and shuichi used a mixture of tapes and cds to learn

shuichi can read people really well but has a hard time manipulating people by being nice he can use people by being a jackass very well but trying to be a normal person is hard for him

Yukiko and yusaku remind shuichi of his parents before tsutomu disappeared but like more upbeat

shuichi dislikes full body hugs

akemi and shiho were both anime and romance drama fans so he knows random things about the shows and uses that info to connect with the DB and especially haibara

he considered himself British first and foremost but when asked about whether he considers himself white or asian he'll always go with asian

he started smoking soon after his father disappeared since his father used to smoke and he needed to cope but didn't wanna fall into drugs like cocaine

smoking is heavily looked down upon in America and is seen as unprofessional which helped shuichi go undercover a bunch due to him being a heavy smoker

akemi would make him stop smoking around her and shiho saying that second hand smoking was dangerous and that shuichi who was smoking constantly was going to get lung cancer but he would tell her that he just couldn't stop smoking he did stop smoking around shiho and akemi tho going outside to do it instead

as okiya it makes him go wild because he desperately needs to smoke to cope but okiya cant smoke it doesnt fit his image so he smokes a shit ton at night during his nightly drives

shuichi forced himself not to smoke during his time visiting Japan when he met masumi because he knew Mary would get even more upset with him

shuichi was terrible driving American styled cars and he got so upset that he perfected his drive-in techiuque over the years just to spite the instructor that said he was barely passing

he likes to go on late night drives and speed on the high way because he's a thrill seeking idiot

he has no social media but he created on as okiya Subaru to keep an eye on haibara's higo stan account

he takes offense to the idea that he's stalking haibara he's just p r o t e c t i n g her

he wants shiho to be happy more than anything so he's an avid coai shipper and is exhausted in Conan's obliviousness

shuichi didnt tell shukichi he wasn't actually dead shukichi just walked up to okiya Subaru one day and was like shuuichi-ni-san right? shuichi has long stopped questioning shukichi's weird ways of knowing shit he shouldn't know

shuichi is a sherlockian but he's not like shinichi or hakuba in that he does not hate BBC's Sherlock and actually enjoys it a bit

one upside to shuichi living in America is that he gets to hoard guns because he's obsessed with them he thinks they're really cool it's like conan with Sherlock he starts yapping his mouth of about them

bourbon once dangled a gun on in front of a sleeping shuichi cuz he didnt believe scotch when he said that rye was obsessed with guns and started saying incorrect shit about the type of gun he was holding and shuichi just shot up and started berating him

shuichi hates that chianti is a killer because she's the only person who's as much as a gun fanatic as he is

he tends to steal Jodie's car a lot

he likes fucking with peoples heads it's very fun to him to watch them get all worked up

shuichi hasn't mourned his father yet because he doesnt believe his father’s dead

deep down he blames his father for his mother going slightly bonkers

he didnt want masumi to be a detective at first but now hes proud of her

he drinks a lot as okiya Subaru since he cant smoke as much

he's willing to go to hell if it means he can rip gin from limp to limp

he really hates gin yall I dont think I can convey how much he hates gin

#akai shuichi #akai shuuichi #dcmk #detco #case closed #detective conan #gin #chianti #miyano akemi #miyano shiho #haibara ai #sera masumi #akai tsutomu #akai family #akai mary #mary akai #haneda shukichi #sera mary #mary sera #okiya subaru #jodie starling #kudo yusaku #kudo yukiko #kudo shinichi #coai #detective boys #amuro tooru #furuya rei #morofushi hiromitsu #scotch

[that-cartoony-villain]

critrole time baby!!! lets gooo!

nordvpn ad continuation!!! this is actually looking like an ad lmao!! THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE WAS READY HSUABEUbua i cant with these nerds

lets see if travis needs a new character sheet next week or not.... this chase is exciting!! they really are the type to fuck their way out of combat and i love that

our favorite kleptomaniacs fearne and ashton! marisha awkwardly trying to hide is an amazing laudna moment AND I LOVE HER CREEPY ASS SO MUCH

dont leave chetney alone... thats how bell died.. how many one shots pcs can we make travis go through in this campaign?

ashleys chaotic side thrives with fearne and i love her for it... and fearne and imogen being laudnas biggest hypewomen is the best!!

the metagaming pigeons are back! fcg goes on the date yay!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOUBLE DATE IMOGEN??? FEARNE IS A SMOKER LMAO

chetney is the best! imogen really is just trying to keep them out of trouble... just a soft dorym moment... i love them

the growth of dorian x chetney travis really tried to be a troll with robbie but immediately fell in love with him and dorian (which i dont blame him) oooh that was such a good line from dorian

imogen you sweet horse girl.... NOT THE TRASH BOUQUET LMAOOOO date time lets go!!

PRETTY I LOVE YOU!!! he got them presents ;-; i love this ogre so much... perfect presents and then they give him trash lmao CHARLESS! its the Soot and Swipe tv show ;)

I LOVE THESE AWKWARD BITCHES SO MUCH BEST DATE EVER!!!!! matt really is rethinking his life as he has a date with the three women of the table hauabsuabi let the date fanfics appear!

ASHTON TIME LETS GO!!!! i want to see what theyre up to... fancy elf oohh ashton and his secrets are so mysterious i really like them and hope taliesin gets to explore a lot of that

THE BOSS???? this is getting interesting.... we getting the side quests out of the way to do them slowly!! so mysterious.... i love it!

I LOVE PRETTY!!! they really went to the theater... HE IS LETTING THEM DOWN SOFTLY I LOVE MATTHEW HE IS SO DONE WITH THEIR BULLSHIT PLS PRETTY IS THE BEST

i love these ladies so much!!! FCG PLEASE jsiahsua sam really is enjoying making the most passive aggressive comments and then be sweet and im so here for this... WITCHY BITCHES!!!!

the group name should be Witchy Bitches and the Others because the girls already have a group name before the whole group lmao

ASTHON BACKSTORY ASHTON BACKSTORY!!! i love them ;-; hes just a sweetheart and i really hope they get a good end to their story.... i am so sad with this backstory this poor enby rock ;-;

they really are just going back to crime right after hsusbaubs theyre so dumb omg... the least stealthy people ever lmao HOW THE FUCK DO THEY KEEP MANAGING TO SCARE PEOPLE OFF AND PULL THIS SHIT OFF???

oh god... another B&E that is gonna go badly... THE CREEPY SHIT IS SAVING THE FUCKING DAY LETS GO LAUDNA!!!! its also a plus that we get to see travis get scared shitless

this is going better than i thought.... love the creepy girl just hanging out with them... PLEASE TELL ME WE'RE GOING FULL CREEPY THIS CAMPAIGN BECAUSE I LOVE IT yes we're going full creepy lets fucking gooooo!!!

we're gonna end on the prebattle arent we?? I LOVE THE CREEPY VIBES SO FUCKING MUCH IM EXCITED!!!! i just love that everyone has a 'i hate this' reaction except for marisha and taliesin... those two plus matt must be fun to watch horror movies with...

i hope they dont fight this creepy person but talk with them and maybe get something out of it... who knows??? see yall next week!!!

#critical role spoilers #cr c3e10 #nevermind me just watching critrole #although id like to say if you feel uncomfortable with creepy stuff dont force yourself to watch everything... #i have a feeling we are going to deal with creepy and crazy this campaign #long post

[saturnmyg]

The devil wears givenchy (2) | Min Yoongi

❝ You’re a therapist who one day gets a call from someone who claims to be satan asking for an appointment. On the day of the appointment you expect to see a teenager or someone in their mid twenties instead you’re met with a man in a screaming red suit whose hair and eyes are as dark as the night but with an attitude of a spoiled brat, he surely cant be satan. ❞

➵ paring: Satan! Yoongi x Therapist reader

➵ A/n: my tired dumbass forgot to add some of the stuff i wrote on my phone so i had to delete the pos and add it so the story makes sense

| 7.9k words | Demon au |  romance | Humor | action | eventual smut | series

| warnings in this chapter : cursing, mention of death, unlawful arrest

Previous / Next

Masterlist

⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑

‘’ma’am we’d like to question you on where you were yesterday when the murder happened next door‘'Asks the shorter of the two.

He has brown blondish hair with green eyes and a face that you instantly can tell that he used to, or maybe still is, a fuckboy/player. The taller, who has shoulder length hair and hazel eyes, meanwhile looks like a guy who'd apologize if someone else poured soup into his lap. Ever since you've opened the door he's been wearing this uncomfortable expression, which you cant blame him though, because right now you do look like a beast who's hibernation sleep was disrupted.

You stare at them blankly ‘’aren't you two too old to be playing pranks on people like this?’’

Almost as if they were expecting that answer, they simultaneously pull out their badges. ‘’Ma'am this is a serious issue, you have to come with us’’

One thing you've always have hated is the police. They were never there to help your family, and as a drug dealer you saw how unjust they acted. Putting your friends into jail while the rich brats who committed serious crimes only got sentenced to be on a six month parole.

Basically they're bastards in your eyes and nothing will ever convince you otherwise.

‘’Do you have a warrant?’’ you ask raising your eyebrow

‘’Thats not importan-’’

‘’It is’’ you interrupt ‘’unless you have a warrant you cant take me anywhere , go check the camera footages of the places I've been i'll even give you the number of various people that can testify that i was at work during that time.’’

The shorter police officer pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs deeply before looking at the taller one. They nod at each other and the hairs on your neck raise at that action. Before you can even jump back the taller one grabs you by the arms twists them behind your back and you feel the cold metal of the handcuffs on your skin. He grips your arm so tight you're sure it will leave bruises later on. As he drags you out of your apartment the shorter one comes to your right side and gives you a pitiful look.

''Sorry lady we're just doing our job''

Sighing deeply, you glare at the one still holding your arm. For a second the thought of how you could you sue them with the claim that the unlawful arrest traumatized you and how you could make some pretty good money, flashes through your head. But you decide to not do that, there's no reason to get into more trouble with the police than you already are in. Also the claim wouldn't even work because you we're pretty aggressive from the get go, meaning that the judge would've instantly known that you're trying to scam them, which would result in either jail time or a hefty fine.  

You huff slightly as the taller one harshly pushes you into the car while the other one already gets into the passengers seat. The car smells like vomit mixed with baby powder and you're disgusted. You're pretty sure these guys have never cleaned the car throughly and a shiver runs down your spine just at thought of whatever you could be sitting in.

Giving up, you lean your head forwards and close your eyes. Slowly counting from a hundred to one while in the background some country song is playing which only adds to your misery.

Twenty minutes later you're escorted into the  busy police department. The color of the walls reminds you of vomit, literally, its a bleached out neon yellow that contrasts too much with the green metal bars of the cells that are on the right side of the room.

Looking around you see that at least you're not the only ''criminal'' who looks raggedy. Just like you most of the accused ones getting interrogated have the same annoyed expression on and you sigh deeply.

The police officer behind you pushes you towards a table where a muscular back is faced in your direction.

‘’Jeon’’ the officer on your right calls out and the person at the desk turns around. He's a doe eyed man with a strong nose. He seems to be in his early twenties, sporting a coconut hairstyle, which weirdly suits him.

‘’Suspect of the case from yesterday night’’ The other office speaks up and pushes you down on the chair.

Jeon looks down at you and raises his eyebrows, not expecting to see someone in their pajamas, who looks like they have been through hell and back. He nods and the other police officers leave, the taller one with the shaggy hair , puts his hand on your shoulder as if to comfort you or maybe say goodbye, you aren't sure. Though you do feel disgusted that he touched your for more than it was necessary and you shrug his hand off you.

The noise of the chair scrapping along the floor rips you out of your concentration and you look over to where jeon is sitting. Theres a dumb grin on his face as he's opening the files on the table and you're instantly ticked off. This guy hasn't even talked yet and you already wanna strangle him, his whole demeanor screams of someone whose lowkey a know it all and is smug about it.

‘’It’s not everyday you see a criminal in satin pajamas’’ Jeon speaks up ,pointing at your clothes ‘’but really though, it looks like you have a lot of money, so what in the hell are you doing killing people out here, got bored with life? needed more actio-’’

‘’I want to speak to my lawyer’’ you interrupt looking at him with a blank face. Besides the fact that they detained you with no rightful claims ,you also have to deal with this frat boy looking guy whose three braincells seem to be struggling to even get him to breath normally.

So you're going to call your good friend , Jung Hoseok.

Jeon sighs as if he already expected you to say that,  turns the phone on the desk so that it faces you. ‘’go ahead.’’

After dialing the number you look at the clock and see that its 10 am and silently pray that Hoseok picks up the phone. Since he usually sleeps like the dead till late afternoon on weekends you're not sure if he'll even hear the phone ring. It wouldn't surprise you though if he didn't pick it up, cause this wouldn't be the first time he basically left you for the dead.

Looking up you see Jeon still sitting on the other side of the desk and raise an eyebrow. ‘’Can i have some privacy?’’

The young police officer doesn't answer and clicks his tongue instead before getting up and walking into another room that seems to be the department's kitchen ,and you turn your focus back to the phone.

After the fifth ring you hear a click and a deep groggy voice bark into the phone ‘’what?’’

‘’Hey’’ you drag the word out ‘’its me y/n-’’

‘’Yes i guessed that by your voice, what do you want?’’  

‘’So remember how you said you'd help me if i ever was arrested? so uhh so apparently your time to shine has come’’ you almost stutter out. Its not that you're afraid of Hoseok but lets just say no one talks to him in the morning until he's in a better mood. For whatever reason he always wakes up really pissed and snaps at anyone in his vicinity and from the looks of it , you're the victim today.

You hear a thud and then bedsheet rustling and you put your hand in front of your mouth to block out the snicker that escapes your mouth.

‘’you almost made me fall out of bed, what in the hell did you do now? don't tell me you finally killed that boy from the bakery, you know that there are-’’

‘’Jesus christ Hoseok, no!’’ you interrupt and sigh deeply ‘’you know the boys next door? they got murdered and now I'm at the police station because these idiots think I've done it, despite having no actual backup for that claim.’’

‘’An unlawful detention’’ Hoseok states and you can practically see him furrowing his brows.

''basically, so i need your help, please i'll even buy you those space shuttle looking ass shoes you want’’ you plead

‘’They're called Balenciagas have some respect, but give me twenty minutes and ill be there, its the police department thats around twenty minutes from your place?’’

‘’God i could kiss you right now, and yes it is, seriously thank you’’ you sigh

‘‘Gross’‘ Hoseok says and you can hear the disgust in his voice , and he hangs up.

While you're waiting for Hoseok to arrive ,you continue to look around the police department. The man behind the green bars is now awake, his body swaying to the tune he's singing, while he has this dumb grin on that every drunk person has at some point, and you turn away . On the walls you notice there a pictures scattered of the officers that work in this department, some with quotes underneath that say something along the lines of ''have fun with life!'', as if to make it seem like this is a cool and peppy place to be.

Grimacing you look away, let out a quiet ‘’yikes’’ while raising your eyebrows before your eyes fall on the small corner section thats the department kitchen. You see Jeon leaning against the counter, his head low as he's starring at his phone whole the other hand is holding a bitten bagel. To your horror you see that he's eating it straight with no dressing or whatsoever and you wanna scream out loud.

Before you can even say anything, the little bells on the main entrance jingle and you turn your head to see Hoseok frantically walking towards you. His whole appearance is disheveled as he stands in front of you heaving like an asthmatic chain smoker , before taking a chair and sitting down next to you.

‘’I want the premium ones’’ Hoseok speaks up not letting you greet him ‘’so tell me what happened’’

‘’The boys next door got murdered’’

‘’Where were you during that time?’’ Hoseok asks

‘’Look i don't know what time they died, when i came home i could hear the music still blasting’’

‘’Tell me yesterday's schedule then’’ Hoseok continues

‘’I woke up the usual time, which is around six thirty, went to work and stayed there till seven, then went to the convenient store thats the closest to my place because i’m a dumbass who still hasn't bough her groceries and went home’’ you answer.

‘’Any witness?’’

‘’Secretary Kim’’ is your immediate answer ‘’he was there the whole day and there should be camera footage that we can use, oh and the girl at the cash register from the convenient store, her name is Hyunjin or something like that, she has turquoise hair’’

Hoseok taps his finger against his cheek multiples times before he gets up and loudly says ‘’Whose the officer overseeing my client?’’

Several heads turn to face you two at hoseok's question and you see Jeon walking towards you. ‘’Thats me’’

Hoseok scrutinizes Jeon , a displeased expression on his face before he stretches out his arm and points at you ‘’why was my client detained?’’

‘’She's under investigation for possible murder’’

‘’An unlawful arrest’’ Hoseok counters

Jeon crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes ‘’Its not unlawful she-’’

‘’Do you have any evidence that she's the murderer?’’ Hoseok interrupts

‘’No but we're looking for i-’’

‘’So you're telling me you handcuffed her, dragged her to this place ,despite the fact that she already answered the officers question at her home ,and you don't even have one shred of evidence that could link her back to the boys besides that she was their neighbor?’’ Hoseok raises an eyebrow

‘’We didn't want her to have the possibility to run away’’

‘’She would have been gone by the time the police had arrived’’ Hoseok retorts, clearly annoyed ‘’meanwhile until they have finished checking the camera footage we will deny every accusation'' he continues and kind of slams his hand down on the table ''If this investigation lasts longer than 36 hours we will file a civil suit for unlawful restraint and a violation of her civil liberties’’

Jeon just sighs deeply , tongues his cheek before he walks away, clearly not having any of this but you don't feel bad for him. Thats what he gets for even deciding to work in the police force.

Hoseok sits down again and sighs deeply ‘’you have some of the worst karma ive ever seen’’

With a wry smile you hold up your handcuffed hands ‘’i mean , you could say i’m living my orange is the new black fantasy’’

‘’ha ha ha’’ Hoseok laughs monotone ‘’But seriously though this is a fucked up situation and I've seen the type of shit you have done’’

Hoseok is kind of an childhood friend. Hoseok's father worked as as a lawyer for your ex boss, until he died of an incurable illness and Hoseok was taken under the bosses wing. Even as a child Hoseok already had a brilliant and eccentric mind, which he used in helping them with lawsuits. Never actually participated  in court since he was a minor and couldn't act as an attorney. He then continued to go to college to study criminal justice and graduated on top of his class. Till today his clients consists of gang members in which he impressively has won many cases.

But then again this is Hoseok we’re talking about, he's slick as a whistle.

After you left ,you and Hoseok kept in touch, mainly because you were paranoid that something would happen and you'd end up in the exact situation you currently are in. Although for some reason Hoseok refuses to accept cash from you, and instead wants you to buy him stuff that he either cant afford or doesn't want to spend money on.

‘’Let me just do the paper works then’’ Hoseok murmurs , picks up the suit case ,puts it on his knees and opens it before taking out a file. Taking the mechanical pencil from his brown suit pocket and tapping it against the paper.

...................

Its been four hours since you arrived at the police station. Bored out of your mind you stare at your cuffed hands and try to move them. You wince at the sharp pain on your wrist and sigh. At this point you've already went through the seven stages of grief and currently you're at dissociation. Hoseok, who has finished the paper works, is meanwhile starring intensively at his phone like he's trying to solve the Da Vinci code.

Tapping your foot against the floor in a fast rhythm , you turn your head towards the main entrance just to see the two police officers from earlier strolling in.

‘’The footage shows that you're not the criminal’’ The taller one says while the smaller one roughly yanks your hands towards him.

‘’Careful’’ you bark out and hiss when the cuffs fall from your wrists. Slowly you rotate your hands, stretching out your fingers as your lets your joints crack.

‘’Are you the officers that arrested her?’’ Hoseok asks and gets up to stand next to you.

‘’yes’’ the taller one responds

‘’What are your names?’’ Hoseok asks, picking up the notepad from the table.

‘’Jesse and Roscoe Fitzgerald’’

‘’I see’’ Hoseok says ‘’brothers huh’’ he continues to scribble his number down, clicks his mechanical pencil twice and  you're not sure if you're just seeing things or if for a millisecond the butt of the pencil really just glimmered red.

Hoseok rips off the page and hands it to the officers ‘’you will be hearing from me shortly’’ and puts his hand on your back between your shoulder blades and softly pushes you towards the entrance.

The minute you're outside in the parking lot you turn towards hoseok with an expression of disbelieve and laughter ‘’did you really just video tape them?’’

Hoseok just glances at you and opens the car door ‘’this thing has been recording everything ever since i stepped a foot into that place’’

‘’That's illegal’’ You say, and get into the passengers seat

‘’Not when it can be used for court’’ he replies and fixes the rear view mirror.

⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑

‘’Thank you for coming on such a short notice’’ Yoongi says, his hands clasped behind his back. ‘’As you've noticed we're basically drowning in work, which is why i came up with this idea’’ He presses the button on the small remote control in his hand and a blue print of an abandoned building appears on the wall behind him.

‘’Fifth’’ Yoongi addressees the fifth judge.

The fifth judge is a tall broad man, with a dark beard and round face that comically gives out his kind disposition. Originally he was the first judge but then got transferred to be the fifth for being too lenient on the souls.

‘’I heard your hall and tenth’s are the only places that aren’t having troubles’’

The judge sighs loudly ‘’i wouldn't say that’’ he answers with a groggy voice ‘’its thanks to my assistant that we can minimize the work but there's always something going wrong, cant speak for tenth though’’

‘’Well thats normal’’  the first speaks up ‘’we’ve always had a lot of work to do’’

‘’Doesn't mean its necessary’’ Yoongi replies and faces the projection behind him ‘’This is one of the warehouses that's currently empty, this is where we'd put the new interns in’’

‘’We don't have the time to train them’’ The  first judge continues. The first judge unlike the fifth, is a small man with a stern face and a white goatee beard. Yoongi particularly dislikes him mainly because he's always opposing his ideas but then never actually comes up with any solutions.

Basically acts typically like every old person.

Yoongi closes his eyes for a second, noticing that his anger is growing and counts to ten before he continues. ‘’I was getting to that part’’ and sends the elderly man a pointed look. ‘’We'll have to sacrifice multiples of our workers and work overtime for a while, but they would be training the interns’’

‘’What if they suddenly quit?’’ The tenth speaks up.

‘’thats a good question’’ Yoongi replies ‘’the whole training program would be an insight on what their job would be like, of course there'd be different sections to fit each of the ten departments but-’’

‘’That way they could decide to quit beforehand and spare us from wasting time’’ she continues

‘’Exactly’’ Yoongi points at the papers laying on the table before each judge. ‘’If you look on the paper you'll see that the estimate of workers that each of us would have to send is around 30 to 40 percent’’

‘’How long will the building be ready for the trainee's’’ The first judge asks

‘’Maximum six months, we'll have to come up with the training plan, the building needs to be renovated too, plus we need to find demons who are willing to work’’ Yoongi answers.

‘’Speaking of demons’’ The tenth judge speaks up. He's a fairly tall man with umber colored skin and a goatee like beard but only that he doesn't have the mustache. Yoongi doesn’t work with him as much as with the others mainly because the tenth is the last one to send the souls up to heaven, meaning he has the least amount of workload.

‘’What are we going to do about the demons that are going rampant here and in the human world?’’

‘’technically seen our duty is only to judge the souls’’ the voice of the seventh judge is heard, a huge red fan hiding most of her face. Its been said that the seventh judge is a beauty but no one has actually ever seen her face. ‘’ the only one who has enough power to discipline and who the demons will actually listen to is you’’ she points a dainty finger at Yoongi

‘’Ill deal with that later’’ Yoongi answers ‘’but thats it for today, please carefully read the documents and make your preparations as fast as possible.’’

The judges stand up , bow slightly before leaving the meeting room.

The percent of the demons rampaging in the human world has skyrocketed in the last few weeks. Its like as if they're all looking for the same thing, treasure hunt style. A competition on who gets ,whatever it is they're looking for, the fastest. And honestly its been stressing yoongi out.

‘’I guess the meeting went well?’’ a honey voice echoes through the room and yoongi turns around to see his advisor leaning against the door frame. Its Park Jimin, a demon with looks that rivals any model, to the point where if he didn't have a single horn coming out of his forehead Yoongi would have thought that he's an incubus.  

‘’Beardy was trying to argue again’’ Yoongi replies while rolling his left shoulder

‘’Thats because he's old’’ Jimin says ‘’you tend to lose or not care about how you come off to other people the older you get, which by the way reminds me  i forgot to ask how  the counseling session went’’

Yoongi glances at Jimin ‘’besides the fact that the counselor looked like a teacher who works in a private christian boarding school , it was good’’

Jimin raises his eyebrows at the description ‘’well at least she did her job’’

‘’She sure did’’ Yoongi answers and picks up the document from the table before walking up to Jimin ‘’she's actually the one who came up with the whole training regiment, she unexpectedly has a sharp business insight’’

Jimin hums as he's walking next to yoongi down the hallway ‘’she'd be a great addition to have’’

‘’Already asked her that she declined’’ Yoongi counters and they round the corner ‘’don't think you're off the hook though''

‘’Why?, her methods clearly are functioning since you've haven't blown up yet’’ Jimin answers with a smug smile

‘’Yeah cause the counseling was literally a day ago’’ Yoongi rolls his eyes

‘’Thats a miracle considering you'd blown up if you didn't find your pencil in 3.5 seconds’’ Jimin replies and opens the door to Yoongi's office

Yoongi's office is elegant. One side of the room has a dark wooden wall which is where the heavy mahogany desk is. Yoongi actually wanted to put an indoor waterfall by that wall but jimin stopped him, saying that there would be no use for it anyways and it would just cost unnecessary amount of money, counting out the water bill that would come cause of the constant stream.

Yoongi finds the room gorgeous, jimin on the other hand finds it looks too much like an office of a mob boss that you'd see in a movie. The only thing thats missing would be an old vinyl player ,playing some classical music, probably something that would match the cliché decor and vibe, like  Shostakovich's string quartet no.8

‘’Cause theres a regiment that needs to be followed which you all clearly aren't’’ Yoongi replies and walks over to his desk.

‘’Anywho’’Jimin ignores Yoongi's reply ‘’the meeting with the heads of the cold hell has been postponed because of a blizzard’’

⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑

‘’They did what?’’ your friend Jieun slams her hand on the table.

You're sitting in a dainty little coffee thats located in the shopping centre. The whole decoration is cutesy and pink. White abstract cupid angels that are made out of pipes are  hanging on the wall. In the background a poppy song  is playing.  , that sounds like its from kyary pamyu pamyu,

This whole environment really isn't your style. Not that you hate pink or anything, you get why it appeals to people but its just not up your ally. The only thing that looks cute to you are the uniforms the waitresses are wearing ,which color combination are pink and orange with small peaches on the apron on the skirt.

Your friends like to joke and say that you're kind of like a modern day morticia addams, which to some extent you are in the way that you basically only wear black but if the real morticia would see your apartment she'd probably have a heart attack.

Just like anyone else who walks into your place for the first time

But after yesterdays mishap, or lets just say arrest, Hoseok drove you home and the minute you stepped into your apartment, the fatigue caught up on you and you feel asleep instantly. To which you woke up at three o'clock in the night and basically fucking up your whole sleeping schedule.

‘’Stop shouting’’ you hiss at Jieun ‘’people are already starring’’

‘’Whatever’’ Jieun waves her hand dismissively ‘’So they just dragged you to the police department like some sort of dog?’’

‘’Yup’’ you answer and take a sip of your smoothie

‘’And they only let you go after four plus hours, with the ‘’ups my bad haha’’ excuse?’’

You nod

‘’How are you not outraged?’’ Jieun asks bewildered ‘’you're planning to do something against them right?’’

‘’Jieun’’you sigh ‘’clearly i'm going to do something cause uh, fuck the police , but at the same time its out of my hands cause hoseok is in the picture’’

‘’Hoseok?’’ Jieun tilts her head ‘’what did he do now?’’

‘’Apparently the pencil in his suit pocket was video taping everything the moment he stepped into the police station, so i assume he's using that as evidence or whatever’’

A grin overtakes Jieun's expression and she leans back into her seat ‘’that slick ass motherfucker’’

Jieun's appearance is misleading. She has red dyed hair, freckles and a gummy smile ,that makes her look like an angel, yet she swears like a sailor. Hell even her mannerism are something that society deems as ''unladylike''. But thats something you love about her, she's always straight up without actually being hurtful but also respects peoples choices. You met her in college actually, she was your tutor in your senior year and its basically thanks to her that you manage to graduate with good grades, you continued to stay in contact and thats how you two became best friends.

‘’By the way’’ You speak up ‘’how's work?’’

‘’Ugh don't remind me’’ Jieun groans ‘’the models we're currently working with are even more stuck up than you and keep barking commands at us like we're maids’’

‘’Well have you talked to their manager?’’ you ask ignoring the dig at you.

‘’What can he do? he's a wimpy guy and they don't listen to him, i honestly feel bad for the guy but sometimes i wanna snap on him’’ she answers and takes a bite off her cake

‘’Is it too late to change the models?’’ you ask

‘’Mhm yeah pretty much , since the clothes fit them quite well and we don't have the time to get the rejected models since we have to meet the deadline.’’

‘’Sounds tough’’ you hum

‘’Well its whatever’’ Jieun replies and shrugs her shoulders '' besides yesterday’s fuckery whats been going on with you?’’

‘’nothing much, been thinking of redecorating my place’’

''Good, sorry but that place looks like forever twenty one designed it and i honestly don't know how you haven't lost your mind cause of it’’

you shake your head and laugh ‘’oh but this will sound weird as hell but i have been noticing something’’

‘’Oh?’’ Jieun raises an eyebrow and leans in close

‘’So basically lately I've been encountering people that have this really off vibe’’ you start

''Off vibe?''

‘’Yeah , like soulless you know? They have this vacant look in their eyes, even if they're smiling and it sends a shiver up my spine, and then on top of that they are good looking but to the point where its creepy.’’

''Oh wow'' Jieun replies

‘’Like i ordered a pizza few days ago, cause i forgot to buy groceries again, you know the usual- ‘’

‘’Thats a bad habit'' Jieun interrupts and points at you

''Yeah well i'm here for a good time not a long time’’ you answer and roll your eyes ‘’anyways so the delivery guy finally arrives and i kid you not he had the exact same vibe, as a matter of fact he's the first one i noticed who has that whole ''thing'' going on.’’

‘’So?’’

‘’so i accidentally touched his hand when i gave him the money and his skin was cold’’

‘’Maybe he just has a low body temperature’’ Jieun says and cuts a piece of the cake with her fork

‘’No jieun you don't understand, it was cold like a dead body’’

Jieun stops in her tracks and slowly looks up to you ‘’how do you know how cold a dead body is?’’

‘’Whatever thought is in your head get it out okay’’ you wave your hand dismissively ‘’his temperature was so low as if he died of hyperthermia ,it was honestly creepy and disgusting’’

‘’So-’’ Jieun puts the fork down and counts off her fingers ‘’vacant stare, too good looking to the point of creepiness, cold body, what else?’’

‘’Sleazy personality or full on listless’’ you continue

‘’Sounds like a demon to me’’ she says and continues to eat.

Another thing about Jieun is that she has always been intrigued by otherworldly beings, such as angles, aliens, you name it, she’ll probably have the whole wikipedia site memorized.

you blink at her ‘’sure right and i'm Mary the virgin’’

‘’Literally every description of a demon is that they're good looking, yet soulless and they give off this vibe of uneasiness. so yeah I'm pretty sure that were demons’’ Jieun says and you can see it on her face that she totally believes whats coming out of her mouth.

‘’Lets hypothetically say they're demons , what would they even be doing in the human world?’’ you ask leaning against the table

Jieun shrugs her shoulders ‘’i don't know, kill humans? look for souls? who knows’’

A memory of yoongi ranting about demons going rampant flashes through your head and you shake the thought off, he was just using religion as a metaphor right? though you did notice how weird he acted at the end of the session.

‘’Anyways’’ you say, deriving from the topic ‘’i need new clothes so lets go before the shop close’’

‘’Aight let me just finish this cake and we can go’’ Jieun says and stuffs a big piece into her mouth.

Snorting at how her cheeks protrude out, you get up and walk over to the counter. Behind the counter stands a woman in your age, thats listless scrolling through her phone. Her whole posture contradicts with the place, almost as if she's tired being here but you don’t blame her, instead you clear your throat to get her attention. Slowly she raises her head and her eyes widen big as saucers when she sees you and she puts the phone instantly down.

‘’I'm so sorry!’’ she says with a panicked expression, probably afraid that you're going to have her call her manager out and complain about the customer service

‘’No no its alright’’ you smile and wave your hand dismissively ‘’id like to pay though’’

While you're telling the cashier what you and jieun ordered, jieun gets up from the table, collects the trays and puts them on the rack that is close by and walks over to where you are standing.

‘’Have a nice day'' the cashier says and Jieun smiles before winking at her ‘’you too’’

You who saw the whole ordeal just rolls your eyes , grabs her arm and drag her out of the shop.

‘’Damn can a girl flirt?’’ Jieun grumbles

You let go of her arm ‘’no, we all know that you shouldn't flirt with people working in customer service that shit is creepy’’

‘’That shit is creepy’’ Jieun mocks you ‘’thats because you're stuck up, a prude, a vir-’’

‘’Im not a virgin'' you interrupt and glare at her

‘’Are you sure?’’ Jieun raises her eyebrows ‘’why else would you dress like a modern day goth kid that used to listen to MCR or panic at the disco’’

‘’Okay first of all panic at the disco isn't exactly emo-’’

‘’They wrote one pop song and that was for big hero six and suddenly its not emo?’’ Jieun interrupts, a grin growing on her face‘’ you just proved my point''

You nudge her ‘’i don't want to hear that from someone who listens to Lana del rey and suddenly thinks they're a witch, what are you, 18?’’

Jieun just pats you on the shoulder and shakes her head ‘’not everyone has a shitty music taste like you but thats okay! humans are meant to be individuals!’’

Offended you lean away from her ‘’rude’’

Jieun just laughs, shakes her head and walks into a store that looks like they sell clothes for kids in their early twenties.

You sigh deeply and call out to Jieun, whose already inspecting black cargo pants with a long belt on it. ‘’ you do realize we're in our thirties right?’’

‘’I should be saying that with the way you dress, i'm going to make you an outfit and you're going to try it out’’ Jieun answers without even looking at you, takes a pair of the black pants and scurries to another corner of the store.

Meanwhile you're sitting on one of the small square seat that are scattered across the store and wait for your best friend to return with whatever outfit, you just hope its not colorful.

Madonna's song music is playing in the background and you're instantly catapulted back to 2000. Once your friend ,whom you rarely visited because she lived right next to your grandmother, forced you to watch the music video and after some time even you got into it and started to dance. Which on the other hand surprised your friend because she thought you'd be one of those awkward teens who had no rhythm instead you turned out to be someone who could bust out some serious moves.

‘’Okay so’’ Jieun reappears and rips you out of your thoughts. To your relief you see that the bundle of clothes she's holding are all pretty much black, though you do spot a dark green and and a checkered gray. ‘’Try these out and if they look good we'll take them''

You raise your eyebrows ‘’and i don't get a say in this?’’

‘’Hell no, otherwise you'd walk out of this place looking like a nun, and i mean like literally.’’ Jieun replies, shoves the bundles of clothes into your arms and pushes you towards the dressing rooms. Pulling the curtain close behind you, you set the garments on the small chair and strip out of your clothes.

Few minutes later you rip the curtain aside, a mixture of shock and perplex on your face. ‘’Really?’’

Jieun whose been starring at her phone finally looks up and her face lights up at your outfit. You're wearing a sleeveless crop top turtleneck and the black cargo pants from earlier. ‘’What? you look good in the outfit and i made sure its black too’’

''I mean yeah its aight b-''

‘’So whats the problem now’’ Jieun interrupts, sighs and gets closer to you

''the problem'' you continue and give her a pointed look ''is that i’m old and you got me out here dressed like some insta faux goth girl , it even has the hoop chain look!’’

‘’You do realize you have the a baby face right?,  you look barely 22 and thats only if you're wearing makeup’’ Jieun replies and pinches your cheek. ‘’who did you kill to get those genes?’’

You pry her fingers away from your face ‘’thats why i have to dress my age how else will people take me serious’’

Jieun gives you a skeptic look ‘’i can guarantee you're already not getting taken serious with your usual get up’’

Instead of verbally replying you just roll your eyes and go back into the dressing room.

After you've tried out all the outfits jieun coordinated for you, you begrudgingly take them to the register. As the cashier is ringing up the items you look around the shop and see a guy standing right behind you in line. As you take in his beautiful features, a slow wave of panic and shiver overcomes you and you nudge jieun.

‘’Look’’ you hiss

Jieun lazily follows your field of view and shrugs her shoulders when she sees the man ‘’not my type’’

‘’of course not you're a les-, thats not the point what i mean is he has the same off vibe like all the other ones i told you about’’

At that jieun looks closer and her face suddenly pales and she looks back at you ‘’thats a fucking demon’’

‘’Clearly he's human'' you say and inch closer to her ‘’but i  wouldn't be surprised if i hear about him tomorrow in the news’’

‘’Your total is 129.90′’ The voice of the cashier interrupts. You take out your purse and hand him the money. Not even waiting for him to bag your clothes ,you quickly stuff them into the plastic bag thats on the counter, disregard the weird look the cashier is giving you and grab your best friend by the arm. ''lets go''

Jieun just nods and with few long steps you're out of the store. You're not sure why exactly you're reacting like this, its almost as if your whole entire being is cornered by a predatory animal and theres no way to escape from it.

‘’Im 99.99999 % sure this guy is a demon’’ Jieun says ,heaving as she's having trouble keeping with your long strides.

‘’Speaking of demons ‘’you slow down your pace ‘’i got a letter today from the local shrine where my grandmother used to live and they want me to visit them tomorrow wanna tag along?’’

‘’God yes’’ Jieun replies ‘’i'll ask them to do a purification on me just to be save’’

‘’i’m finishing tomorrow at six, do you want me to pick you up from work or will you already be at home?’’ you ask

‘’Workplace’’ jieun answers ‘’by the time you're there most of the work will already be done’’ She nudges you ‘’ will you wear one of the outfits we bought?’’

‘‘Come on’‘ you groan ‘‘thats disrespectful to visit the shrine looking like that’‘ 

‘‘God has seen your ass naked many times , so i don’t think its that disrespectful to show up with a little bit of your stomach showing’‘ Your best friend deadpans. 

‘‘So god is into voyeurism?’‘ you raise your eyebrows. Just the thought of some otherworldly being watching everything you do , is creepy as hell to you.

‘‘And i’m the disrespectful one?’‘ Jieun gasp and slaps you on the shoulder ‘‘He just watches you’‘ 

‘‘So if he’s watching me how is he looking after all the other humans then?’‘

Jieun shrugs her shoulders ‘’ maybe he has like a billion eyes or something’’ 

You shake your head ‘’ how did we go from a friendly man to some sort of creepy being that probably belongs into one of H.P lovecraft’s books’’

‘‘Lovecraft was a terrifying being’‘ Jieun says ‘‘ i mean have you seen how he looks? that guy constantly had this weird expression on, as if he starred into the abyss and found something that no human should have ever discovered’‘ 

‘‘You talk like you’re a vampire who has actually met him’‘ you counter

‘‘If i were id have make sure to get turned into one by the age of 22 so i could avoid having wrinkles, wouldn’t want to end up looking like Carlisle cullen ’’Jieun says and puts one hand on her cheek

‘‘Carlisle is supposed to be 23 in the movies’‘ 

Jieun turns her head and looks shocked at you ‘’Oh Jesus christ they did they character so so wrong ,because that man looks like moldy cheese’’

‘‘Jieun’‘ you snort and hit her on the arm ‘‘don’t be disrespectful’‘ 

Jieun just laughs and pushes you into another store

⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑

‘‘The next appointment will be in a week’‘ you say to the elderly woman ‘‘would you like us to remind you on monday morning?’‘ 

‘’ yes dear’‘ she answers and smiles ‘‘ such a hard working gal , you youngsters have it hard nowadays but remember to always take a break, alright?’‘ and puts an boney hand on your arm. 

‘‘Of course ‘‘ you smile and see her out. 

Closing the door behind you , you walk over to where secretary Kim is sitting and lean on the reception desk ‘’Next monday on two o’clock for miss davenport’’ 

‘‘Noted’‘ Secretary kim answers and looks up. ‘‘I’m not trying to pry into your private life but-’‘

You sigh ‘’ its about those police officers right?’’ 

‘‘Correctly’‘ he answers and pushes the glasses on his face up

Not wanting to go through all the bullshit of explaining it to someone again you just quickly summarize it ‘’ they basically accused me of murder and then it turned out that i was not the murderer’’ 

Secretary Kim just raises his eyebrow and gives you a skeptic look, almost as if he’s judging you. Taken back by the expression on his face, you furrow your brows and lean back , tilting your head ever so slightly.

‘‘Anyways’‘ you continue braking off the tense silence that was hanging in the air for a few seconds ‘‘i’m clocking out’’ 

‘‘See you tomorrow’’ Secretary Kim replies and goes back to starring at the monitor. 

You walk back to your office, shut your laptop off, not before saving the documents and put on your Jacket. After wrapping your scarf around your neck you pick up your purse, shut the lights off and walk out of your office. Checking  your phone for the time you notice that you’re slightly late on schedule and almost run out of your workplace. Not even bothering to wait for the elevator to come you walk down the stairs in long strides hoping that you wont fall and bust your head open, which has happened once before 

Finally arrived at the parking lot you walk towards your car. Opening the vehicle’s door you carelessly throw your purse into the backseat, take your phone out of your pocket before connecting it via bluetooth to the stereo. After choosing a song from your spotify , you put it onto the dashboard and drive off. 

Twenty minutes later you arrive at the location Jieuns having the photoshoot. You notice that your best friend is nowhere to be seen so you just continue to  chill in the car waiting for her to show up. You’ve only made the mistake once where you disturbed her during a shooting and just the sheer thought of having to experience the scolding from that day makes you have goosebumps. 

‘‘How loud are you going to have the music blasting in this car’‘ Jieuns voice rips you out of your thoughts and you jump in surprise

‘‘Are you trying to kill me?’‘ you heave and clutch your chest before lowering the volume. 

‘‘No but apparently you are’‘ Jieun answers ‘‘ how in the hell are you not deaf yet?’‘

‘‘Whatever’‘ You continue ‘‘ how was work?’‘ 

Good, something funny happened actually’’ Jieun puts the seat belt on 

Driving out of the parking lot you glance over to your best friend ‘’ oh?’’ 

‘‘The models were bitchy as usual but the manager actually got pissed’‘ 

You raise your eyebrows ‘’don’t tell me he made a scene in front of you guys’’

‘‘He sure did’‘ Jieun says ‘‘ you should have seen the faces of the models , that shit was comical’‘ 

‘‘And humiliating too’‘ you laugh and Jieun joins in. 

...........

After an hour of you two singing early 00 songs, you finally pull up to the shrine. The weather has gotten colder and you see the moon hanging high in the sky. When you get out of the vehicle you look around in awe. The huge red pillars of the gate thats towering meters above you plus the glistening of the snow gives the environment a mystical vibe. The paper lamps that are shining brightly on the porch of the shrine gives the finish touch ,almost making it look like its straight out of a fantasy book. 

‘‘Not to sound like an old sentimental lady but this is breathtaking.’‘ Jieun speaks up and you both burst out laughing. 

Walking through the gates you see a woman walking down the steps of the shrine towards you. She’s wearing  long blue divided trousers ,that is tied tightly at the waist and a snow white garment thats tied so that the left left side of the seams are facing outside. . 

‘‘Y/n?’‘ She calls out with a smile 

‘‘Thats me’‘ you answer and smile back. Jieun next to you is star struck on how beautiful the girl is. She notices how the woman’s dark skin glistens slightly blue in the moonlight, how her full lips stretch over her pearly white teeth. She’s utterly beautiful and Jieun is smitten.

‘‘Please follow me, the priestess has been waiting for your arrival’‘ The beautiful woman continues , and walks ahead. 

‘‘I think i just saw an angel’‘ Jieun whispers and nudges you. You just roll your eyes with a smile and follow the woman. Walking up the stairs you get a closer look at the building and see old inscriptions carved into the wood. Distracted by the sacred decoration you don’t even notice the woman pulling aside the paper sliding door , which to reveals a moderately sized room.  

Besides the scriptures, to which you assume to either be poems or holy scriptures, and small statues of deities ,there isn’t much to see. 

‘‘Please go ahead’‘ The woman says and bows before scurrying down the hallway. 

As you walk into the room you notice another woman. Unlike the shrine maiden, as you call her, the priestess ears a dark violet colored patterned belted robe and the same blue loose trouser that you saw earlier. Her expression is friendly as she looks up from the book in her lap. 

‘‘Y/n’‘ she calls out almost as if she’s known you your whole life. 

Looking closer you find fine lines adoring her face and you’re instantly reminded of your grandmother. Though a sharp pain flashes through your head and you close your eyes. 

Worried the priestess stands up, walks over to you with quick long strides and puts a hand on top of your head. To your surprise , you feel warm energy pooling into you and the pain ebbs away instantly and you look at her in shock. 

‘‘Why don’t we sit down and have a chat’‘ She says with a gentle smile and you nod before sitting down on the floor. 

The priestess sit down on the opposite side, facing you and jieun, with a serious expression ‘‘I’m sure you’re wondering why i called you here’‘ 

‘‘Yes’‘ you say ‘‘ i have no memory of ever being here, so i was curious what this is about’‘ 

The priestess sighs wistfully ‘’ Its about your grandmother’’ 

#bts x reader #kkreationsnet #prettyboysnetwork #bangtanbuds #btsguild #bts scenario #kpop scenarios #kpop x reader #kim namjoon x reader #kim taehyung x reader #kim seokjin x reader #jungkook x reader #jung hoseok x reader #min yoongi x reader #park jimin x reader #tdwg #demon au

[little-ache-blog]

3:39 pm

Lets talk about something

The way mental health/mainly eating disorders exploit people

Dr phil is the worst man ever and his show is shit.

Heres the thing. Girls like me dont go look at models and get triggered. It starts in your childhood. I was always told "hey youre not fat" when i expressed body concerns but i realized i never wanted to hear "youre not fat" but more like "wow youre so thin". And on top of this what triggers me is other human beings. Skinny girls, my parents, my childhood memories could trigger me. Even if my dad told me "you eat a lot" it triggers me. It translates to "youre fat and ugly". Ive never looked at a model and wanted to be them because i know half of the time its photoshop, it isnt real. But thin humans in real life, some that are even just naturally that way, it triggers me, because i know its real. Eating disoder segments of shows trigger me, documentaries on eating disorders do too. Girls like me, when we go to look for "thinspo" we dont look at a fucking magazine, we go to a documentary because the girls in the documentary are like us, they are real. We watch documentaries and segments of shows with these girls and boys to find new tips. Dr phil himself even believes eating disorders are a choice. While yes to an extent, but do you just expect a drug addict to drop herion? What about a smoker? You cant just stop, you stop when you die. Even when you recover you never recover. Its there you just have to remind yourself its bad for you and that you dont have to be thin... But the thing is society hates anorexia but it loves anorexic bodies. If youre naturally thin congratulations, your body is romantasized, glorified, fetishsized, idealized. If youre average, congratulations, youre average, you couldnt be a model no, but youre average. If youre fat, then lose weight, even if your healthy. If youre average lose weight, even if your healthy, slightly chubby but not overweight? Lose weight. Slightly overweight, but yout healthy, lose weight.

We hate the diasese but we glorify and romantasize what it does, we love frail figures up until it kills us.

We blame the victims of it, its your choice to be that way, when the girls and boys of it cant stop.

Shows like dr phil exploit these people for views, its a freak show. Look at this person! Theyre crazy for being so skinny! Look at them, theyre crazy for purging!

Its the same society that loves to make anorexic bodies on the cover of vouge.

Its all the same cycle.

Exploit it, blame the victims, love it, die from it, mourn over it and glorify it, exploit it, blame, love, die, mourn over and over

When will you wake up

( i support the ana community, bc ive met some girls here, we wanna get better, but we dont know how, the ana community isnt thinspo girls who share that are toxic, the community is recovery )

We just wanna get better

#proana #ana

[spottedkaye]

COVID days

It sucks to be stuck at home especially I you cant rest. I just want to be lazy and actually rest and not argue with my mom. Lol sadly, she is ambivalent about everything. I understand about love hate relationship but this is just stupid. If she actually hate taking care of us which is not the case. She doe cook and bring them my siblings food not me. Im already sick but she wants me to act like I am not. I know I have a child and I do take care of my child because the reality is I still and will take care of my child regardless of what I FEEL AND WHAT STATE I AM IN. But i wouldnt never guilt trip my child for me being sick. 

With that being said, what I am feeling right now, at this moment, is slight weakness. I am function like how I am normally but I do get headaches. My cough is as stupid as it is. The only thing that is different is I have asthmatic cough which I havent felt in years. Being a former stress smoker, I dont and have never experience anything like this. Fevers are super random. I just feel it without warning. 

I honestly just want to be lazy but I cant. My guilt and responsibility is just too much that I cant even stop it for a few moments other than sleep. I wasnt suppose to go out but she needed me to go out!! like really??!! yo forgot I was sick??! just because I am functional it doesnt mean I am not sick. And if you really wanted to work then work pls dont blame me for being sick and for you not working. 

[breathingyourlastbreath]

What you did hurt more than anything ive known. You left me. just why? I gave you everything I had, and so much more. I know you were just 16 and I 18 but I just dont understand. Why did you take her side? just fuckinh why Emi? I literally thought I had found my person, the one friend I could trust. But no, you just wanted to fit in and took after them. I showed you compassion but they were cooler than I was. kind of literally. Who wouldve though, teenagers trying to find themselves and choose the smokers and "cool" ones. Fuck. If I met you again I dont know if i would hug or puch you. When you all walked up the stairs and past me, all the laughter stopped and Vilma gave me a sympathetic smile while the rest of you just went past. I thought I had found home but you just drove me out with all your childish power plays. I never for a second blamed you for triggering my panic attack. never. It happens and you couldnt have known. SO WHY WOULD YOU GET ANGRY SAYING I BLAME YOU BITCH. You mustve got some real issues going on urself to think that. To be so fucking blind is incredible. The fucking blind could see better than u. You I would punch with all my might and just walked away if i ever saw you again. Fucking cunt. And you Emi thought better of, fucking took her side and when i asked u bc i fucking trusted u, you said it was ok send it, U LYING CUNT. CLEARLY IT WAS NOT OK TO SEND IT. BC NOW THEY WERE ANGRY WITH ME AND U TOOK THEIR EFFING SIDE WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL U STUPID BEE. I HAD FOUND MY HOME, MY PLACE IN LIFE AND YOU MANAGED TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY WOW JUST FUCKING WOW. I fucking realise you arent to blame but you were the only person I had and you just left my side. After I needed u more than ever, yOU FUCKING LEFT ME AT SCHOOL. YOU LEFT ME. AGAIN. You were my literal crutch and you just said nah. YOU PROMISED ME. Fucking talk to me if smtn is wrong, say hey Hanna its too much for me to help u here THEN I COILD JUST BE LKKE OH OK AND THAT WOULDVE BEEN IT. BUT NOOOO. AHHHDKSJSBBDDHHDDHHDHDHBFBFMGMF FUUUUUUUUUUCK. You are such a pain in my fucking arse like what the actual fuck man?????? JUST FUCKING WHY??????? I often feel like its my own damn fault for trying and trusting you but I KNOW its not my damn fault. If u cant fucking communicate then what am i supposed to do?????? TELL ME WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKINV DO MAN????

Anyways, fuck everyone from Svedala u guys fucking suck. Bye

#private #dont ask #i did not re read what i wrote #ignore

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oh god... Oh God Slashing, my man, I just got this thought and I NEED to put this here while it's still fresh in my mind.

Ok so you and I both write Wheezy being handsome, yeah? Especially when he cleans himself up and looks like a cologne commercial without trying?

What if Wheezy was like the groups Harper and Smartass would be Buckman pimping him out? Yeah, Greasy is already throwing himself at women, though it's safe to assume that that doesn't make women swoon XD so if for whatever reason, the group needed to seduce somebody, Smarty knows he's gotta send in Wheezy. Oh I imagine Greasy would be miffed XDD

Your thoughts?

Omg! I'm imagining that scene in Atlantis where the team is trynna 'decide' who should go schmooze Kida and Mole (Greasy) keeps popping up like 'I will do it!', 'I am your man!', 'For the good of the team, I will do it!', until Rourke (Smartass) smacks Milo (Wheezy), who could not care less, on the shoulder and goes 'Thanks for volunteering', causing Mole Greasy to start sobbing XDDD

Anyway- I love this. Here's a

Wheezy Weasel x Fem! Reader x Greasy Weasel || Drabble

Plot: Wheezy is instructed to charm Y/N, the recently ex girlfriend of a powerful Mafia toon in town that they have had some trouble with for years, and get information out of her (Like where has he run off to?)- except Greasy has a huge Thing for Y/N and he's very insulted that he wasn't given this job, and now Wheezy has to deal with Manipulative Pervert antics.

Warnings: Greasy bring Oppertunistic (Seeing Y/N's heartbroken drunkenness as an In), and just like... being himself. Also I'm not sure if this is coherent 😅

Greasy Weasel's POV

"Alright, Wheez- "As soon as Smartass glances at the smoker he does a double take, scowling. And I dont blame him, el fumador looks like a disgraceful mess- but what else is knew really?? I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. "Fucken hell, Wheezy. Brush your hair. You're up." Here I set my jaw and repress the angry words I want to spit at them both- why does he get to have all if the fun??? I am right here-

Wheezy heaves the heaviest sigh known to man kind, like an absolute drama queen, smoke slipping out of his mouth, nostrils, and his eyeballs. Honestly you'd think that if smoke started to leak out of your eyeballs you may cut back, but no... and this is the man that the Boss thinks can charm the women. Tch. Imbéciles estúpidos. "Boss, really?... "

"Yeah, really. I'm not talking for my own amusement, am I??? Heck no. Wash your face." It is going to take more then that to make el fumador a member of society, but okay-

"I was really hopin' to like... take a back seat, on this one... "

I cant help the annoyed huff, I make at this. The boss gives me a dangerous side eye and Wheezy looks unsurely at me, as if he is some kind of victim in all this, but I refuse to look at either of them; Just merely whistle and look off to our other two comrads picking at something squishy in the gutter.

Smartass rolls his eyes at me, then returns his attention to Wheezy, his eyes hard and mean. "Wheezy. There is a pathetic, heartbroken woman in there," He points at the bar we're parked next to, where Y/N is, "with information, gettin' drunk- Get your lazy flat ass in there."

Smartass' beautiful description of her almost gets me hard (she's so vulnerable right now- if I could just get close to her- speak to her- aghhhh!) but while I'm standing stiff trying to calm myself down- Wheezy actually groans (Where I can hear him!) and hunches his shoulders (Where I can clearly see him!), before slinking in.

Grrrrrrr, this ungrateful, undeserving, selfish- "And, now, we play the waitin' game. Greasy, go down the road and get us some snacks, will ya?" Smarty suddenly thrusts a few bills in my hands. Qué? Do I look like your server?? "I'm gonna take a nap in the van. And dont forget the red vines this time, will ya?"

With that, the boss slinks into the back of our dodge and slams the doors shut behind him. I make a face after him for a few moments, insulted by his usual brash manner, before... an idea, occurs to me.

As Stupid and Psycho continue to play with gutter garbage nearby, I compose a plan.

Heheh. I can be back before Smartass wakes up.

~

Ahhhh, there's the bastard.

As soon as I walk in, I spot them. Y/N's hunched on her elbows by the bar, her eyes wide with delicious, innocent, vulnerable intrigue as Wheezy (A.K.A the bastard) talks to her.

I taste something terrible watching them, because admittedly el fumador is rather charming when he tries to be (And sometimes when he isn't. I think it has something to do with how relaxed~ he seems to be, all the time. I could never be like that, not even if I, too, smoked 17 packs an hour- ) and he does have nice eyes,.. but goddamnit, that old man is going down. I can do this.

I would say I'm apologetic for what I must do- but I am not.

"Y/N!" Her body jumps when I appear on her other side, turning around to look at me with pretty rounded eyes; A definite haze of intoxication behind them. A smirk slithers across my face looking down at her. "Funny to see you here!- I had no idea. And- with el fumador!.. of all people... How nice. Mind if I join you?"

Wheezy gives me a raised-eyebrow look from Y/N's other side, but I ignore him! ^^ "Grease, what're you doin'?"

My attention is only for Y/N- pathetic, pregnable, easy Y/N. She glances at Wheezy, before settling her attention on me again. "Um- sure! What are- what are you doing here?"

"Ohh, nothing much~ Gracias for allowing me to crash your night, hermosa. Very sweet of you."

Nervously, she gives a faint smile; Shrugging. "Ohh, its n- nothing... I wasn't doing much... " Oh, the adorable, heartbroken thing she is. She doesn't know we are perfectly aware of her break up from that dumb asshole she's been with, today. Or that we kind of caused it. Afterall, he didnt leave town for no reason... Of course she doesn't- I should play this subtly.

"Mmm... and where is your boyfriend, Y/N? Surely he wouldn't leave you alone in a bar looking so beautiful~... Unsavoury types may approach." At this, I do finally look at Wheezy, and he gives me a very unamused look in return. Oh, he has no sense of humour-

"More unsavoury than you?" Y/N suddenly snaps, eyes flashing knowingly at mean- oh. She's more clever than I thought. Okay. I see.

"... can I buy you another drink, Hermosa?" She's not nearly drunk enough.

"Greasy." Wheezy warns, again. But Y/N takes a deep breath and nods, and then he's looking surprised at her. "Are you sure, about that?"

She shrugs back at him as I order her another of what she was drinking. "... yeah. I um- Brick broke up with me, today. I could use a few hundred... thousand, drinks."

Aww... pathetic little thing. Just perfect. Wheezy catches me smirking as I finger through the bills Smartass gave me for red vines, having heard that delicious admition, and gives a sigh; Rolling his eyes.

"Sorry to hear that... " He lies, because he knew very well what happened with Brick today, just like I did. Looking tired as ever, though especially by me right now (I'd know that tone in his broken voice anywhere. That tone is alllllll my fault. And I'm honoured), Wheezy gestures to the bartender fetching me Y/N's drink. "I could use a drink, too."

"Don't worry Y/N," I nudge her with my elbow, settling in close to her, and give a wink. "I will be the designated driver for us. Feel free to drink all the booze you like~ "

Wheezy taps the bar. "Make that two, will ya? 'Nd put it on his tab."

~

2 hours later, Y/N's completely drunk and Wheezy may have dragged her bar stool ever-so-subtly further from me and closer to him, but I am the one with all of her attention. I have her exactly~ where I want her.

I just need to get rid of el fumador, somehow, then-

"YOU," That voice is unmistakably familiar, and I immediately go stiff as a plank. "GODDAMN MORONS."

Oh, infierno. This is not good.

Y/N's eyebrow raises, turning in her seat and almost slipping off of it- if it weren't for Wheezy jumping forward and steadying her. I'm busy stringing a good excuse together in my head... but nothing is coming to me... "Is that Smartass?"

"Yep, looks like the jigs up," Wheezy tells her, turning to me meaningfully. He knows she won't remember anything he says, now. "Eh, Greasy?"

I dont say a word, avoiding his eye. I'm still desperately raking my brain for a good excuse-

"The- the jig?? What- "

They sell red vines in here?? I just stepped in to go to the bathroom?? I needed a glass of water?? No, no, no-

"Eh, don't worry about it doll. How about we get you a cab and send ya home? Where are yer shoes?"

By the time Smartass reaches us Wheezy has helped Y/N to get herself together (His arm around her waist to keep her from tripping and her shoes in his other hand), my chances with her tonight are successfully diminished, he's ready to take her to the door, and I've still got nothing. Smartass looks sharply at him, and he gives a solemn shake of his head. "I got nothin' after all that. Talk to lover boy."

As Wheezy takes Y/N away, Smartass slowly does turn to 'lover boy', me; A very violent look in his eyes, and I hold up a finger. As if to 'pause' him.

... Absolutely no excuse has come to mind. My head is completely blank. Smooth, in fact, like a leaf. And that look in the bosses eye is making my bladder feel weak. "... I plead the fifth- "

"YOU PLEA- You're gonna plead for the use of your legs back when I'm done with ya!! Get in the van. Get- Go- I'm not gonna tell ya twice!"

#sorry if theirs lotsa typos! i'm writing on my phone #Wheezy Weasel x Reader x Greasy Weasel Drabble #Wheezy Weasel x Reader #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Wheezy Weasel x Reader Drabble #Greasy Weasel x Reader Drabble #Greasy Weasel #Wheezy Weasel #Smartass Weasel #Stupid Weasel #Psycho Weasel

[slipteeha]

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My time homeless was spent in such rural sections, keeping away from the main cities and mostly on the outskirts of a large town and the nearby smaller villages. (It was the area I’d grown up around, and sticking to familiar territory made living homeless a lot easier than trying to make a go of it in some unknown city, especially when with a car I’d have to pay for parking somehow.) Often I would spend the night parked at a truck stop just off the Official Christmas Stockings Ornaments And Trees Pattern Heart 2021 Shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt since it’s one of the few places you can safely sleep in your vehicle without the cops knocking on your windshield for a “wellness check” and threatening to cite you for loitering. (I get the cops are just doing their job, but nope, not something wanted to have happen a second time, especially when Max’s loud barking and attempt to protect me nearly got him shot the first time.) Things can get plenty creepy as well after the sun goes down and the place is filled with parked rigs, occupied by divers in various states of sobriety.

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My brother had to leave his cats with my mother a few times. The 1st was when I was a teenager. His cat would be mad when he would visit and the ended up being my dads cat. The cat would sit with my dad after work and would go with my dad to walk the dog. My mother had to put her to sleep when she was 18 when she cane down with lung cancer. My father was a smoker. the 2nd time my brother left a Official Christmas Stockings Ornaments And Trees Pattern Heart 2021 Shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt was when I was older he left 2 cats and both cats were mentally messed up. One stayed mostly in a guest bedroom and the other was just crazy mean. Neither cat wanted anything to do with him. My mother had to put both cats down in their old age. They ended up not attaching to anyone but being friendly with both my patients and myself. when my husband passed I had to leave my cats with my mother. My mother found out she had breast cancer and my cat Mulder would give her a massage when she had cemo treatments. When I cane to visit for Xmas my cats loved on me and were glad to see me. Mulder gave me a back massage every night like he used to.

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Lastly just before the date she goes to meet up with Piers Morgan who’s friendship again she has cultivated for 2 years plus (because he’s highly placed to be useful to her). He also knows a lot about the Official Christmas Stockings Ornaments And Trees Pattern Heart 2021 Shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt family their personality’s and their world…… So how convenient that after 2 years of exchanging emails and tweets etc, she finally makes time to meet him. What an amazing coincidence. NOT. Did you know it was actually him who put her in the taxi to go straight to that first date with Harry……no? Well you do now. After that meet up, when Piers contacts her she 100% ghosts him….. she never speaks to or returns any of Piers calls or emails ever again (after 2 years of friendship and correspondence)….hmm how weird. Or not…. as after all, Piers has served his purpose now, and she knows Harry cant stand the Media, or anyone associated with the Media like Piers (because Harry blames them for the premature death of his mother). Plus she doesnt need Piers any more…. she now has the biggest fish on her hook. All she has to become now, is Harry’s dream woman, shes an actress how hard can that be really…….even D list actress is still Actress! So not hard at all…. women who are smart (but not even actresses) have been doing this for millennia to change their lives for the better. Just look at Melania Trump.

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[sadlittlenerdking]

Prompt meme 70 'I cant stand seeing you like this' pairing Queliot, if you're willing to.write Magicians

If Margo knew, she’d give him that look and then walk out of the room like she’s not worried about his sanity, despite the worried flick of her wrists that clue him in to the truth. So, she probably does not, and she’s definitely worried about him. But, Eliot is a masochist, and he can’t help that he feels like he needs to be there for Quentin when he has his episodes. And it’s not like it’s an invasion of Quentin’s privacy or anything. It’s just a small little spell that tracks Quentins emotions and alerts Eliot anytime his motions dramatically peak.

(Though, it had been awkward when Quentin and Alice were still dating and Eliot ran into the room thinking Quentin was having a panic attack. He was so resolutely not having a panic attack, that Eliot almost felt like he deserved the shoe thrown at his head as he closed the door behind him. Though that has more to do with him pausing and saying, “Nice form,” than him rushing into the room.)

It’s needless to say he’s had to tweak the spell. Even go so far as to study, to find a way to have the spell only localize on Quentin’s darker emotions. There were . . . failures, along the way. Like Eliot accidentally linking his and Quentins emotions up to synchronize so anything either of them felt, the other felt. Obviously, he blamed that on Todd, and temporarily turned him into a toad to avoid the truth getting out. By the time he turned back, nobody but Eliot remembered—well. Nobody but Eliot, Quentin and the whole of the Brakebills teaching staff that had to break the spell.

Linking up with Quentin’s emotions did spur Eliot on to try harder, though. The only way he’d been able to get through that particular week was with a heavy —er than normal—dose of narcotics. And Quentin got through every day of with nothing more than pessism and sad, puppy dog pouts directed at nobody in particular.

So, maybe Eliot spent six months perfecting a spell that allowed him to be there for Quentin whenever he experienced any sort of negative emotions. So what? Eliot’s a perfectionist.

And he also kind of, really, cares about Quentin.

Which is why it comes as a shock—literally—when something courses through him stronger than anything Quentin’s ever felt before. He’s sitting on the living room couch, reading through a nondescript magazine, trying to pass the time by while everyone else actually studies for finals, when an electric burst of energy rushes through him. It’s like the shivers; the ones that people often describe as ‘someone walking over your future gravesite’ only it’s painful and practically paralyzes him for a moment.

When it passes, he takes no time to run out of the cottage and across campus. Honestly, if it were anybody else, he probably wouldn’t even care. But it’s Quentin.

So he runs.

And, as everyone with even half a brain can attest to, Eliot does not run. Not from monsters, not from ghosts, not to save someone about to jump off a cliff. He’s a smoker and an alcoholic. He doesn’t run for anyone.

Except Quentin.

He’d run to the ends of the Earth and back if it meant protecting him.

Not that he’d ever admit it.

If anyone asks, later, when Quentin’s calm and Eliot’s pleasantly buzzed, he’ll blame it on a doppelgänger or something even less believable.

The pulsing shivers get stronger the closer to Quentin he gets. It shouldn’t surprise Eliot that Quentin’s in the library, being an actual nerd, but somehow it does. Maybe it’s the fact that this is supposed to be Quentin’s safe space. Maybe it’s that Alice is standing over him, shocked and not doing anything but staring.

A rush of rage burns beneath the electricity shooting through his veins but he shoves that down, and pushes past her to kneel down next to Quentin.

He’s sitting on the floor, eyes wide as he gasps for breath. His left hand is grabbing desperately at his shirt, like he’s trying to push past it and into his chest to grab at something, or stop something. Tears stream down his cheeks as his eyes frantically search Eliot’s, harsh, wheezing breaths puffing out between them.

Eliot grabs Quentins hands and leans in, forehead pressing just against the top of Quentin’s scalp. He whispers something, just for the two of them into Quentin’s hair, before looking over his shoulder, “What the fuck are you staring at? Go make yourself useful and get some water, Alice.” Alice is unresponsive for a moment, but then she nods shakily and darts out of their little alcove in the library, and Eliot turns his attention back on Quentin. He pulls one hand away, and starts building a spell between them. Not quite a sedative, but something that’ll ease Quentin’s heartbeat. And Eliot’s, for that matter.

Because as calm as he can pretend to be, he can’t trick himself into believing that he’s not terrified out of his fucking mind. Can’t tell his own heart to stop pounding so angrily in his chest that it ricochets around the room and almost blocks out Quentin’s breathing.

The spell does the trick. Quentin’s facing is losing some of the pinkness, but his breath is still shallow and fast. Eliot reaches up to guide Quentins attention to Eliot’s eyes, with a gentle hand to his jaw. He raises his eyebrows, and mimics taking a deep breath. “With me, Q,” He says, voice soft and guiding just like the books told him to. “Breathe with me.”

It takes a minute, but Quentin starts taking exaggerated, slow breathes, as he follows Eliot’s movements with precision.

Eliot watches as Quentin comes down from the panic attack, and when he feels it’s safe to, he pulls him in for a hug and holds him to him as Quentin’s arms hesitantly come up to wrap around his waist. “I hate seeing you like this,” He says after a few long beats,  Quentins hot breath burning into the nape of his neck.

Quentin nods against the skin there, pretends he’s not wiping his snot and tears off on the shoulder of Eliot’s favorite vest, and says, “Then why do you always come?” His breath is hoarse, and it’s like ragged puppet strings pull at Eliot’s heart with each syllable.

Eliot quiet for a long moment, before he swallows, thick and careful, “You know why.”

Nodding again, Quentin pulls himself closer, and it’s all Eliot can do not to run across campus to punch Dean Fogg in the face for taking away Quentin’s medicine.

“Thank you, El.”

Eliot breathes him with a shrug, “Always, Q.”

It’s a lot of effort into only a few moments of action, but jesus christ if the small, relieved smile Quentin gives him when they’re finally able to get up isn’t worth it, Eliot doesn’t know what is.

#the magicians #riz writes #writing #queliot #cldfiredrgn

[hiddennow1]

Obligatory lockdown/covid post

Do people not realise the extent on this situation, I am sick to death of people saying we need to back to normal! are they thick? do they not realise thousands of people are dying? I hate hearing ‘but more people are dying of cancer than Covid’ Yes they are because the NHS can not see cancer patients because they are breaking their backs saving lives, because operations are being cancelled because there is no room in the ICU for recovery, because cancer patients are more at risk of picking up covid in the hospital and dying of that instead of cancer. you cannot compare one death to another, if someone dies it will hurt the people around them no matter what, if they are young old, if it is a long illness or a short one a death is a death. the difference is Covid is avoidable, if the government locked down earlier and shut the boarders less people would have died, if people didn’t break the rules less people would have died it is a simple as that, cancer is unavoidable, people who are heavy smokers may have very strong lungs and someone who has never smoked a day in their life may loose their life from lung cancer, you never know when your life can end/change due to uncontrollable forces, and as a control freak this scares me. Mental health is the argument everyone seems to be using to end this lock down weather it be for a child who is just starting their life or an elderly person who struggles to be alone. But mental health is never something that will be fixed by lockdown ending. There is a difference to  mental health and a mental illness, you can take care of your mental health even in lockdown be that with exercise, face masks, bubble baths or a chat with your mates over zoom or whatever helps you heal. If you have a mental illness this will not be automatically fixed by being able to leave your house, this takes time and is something you learn to live with and adapt to yes being locked in a house with no end in sight does make it worse, I know first hand how hard this is getting by having a longer lockdown, but something that will not help is the constant fear that something bad will happen or someone you love/care about is going to get sick. opening everything up too soon will cause more deaths and more stress. The vaccine is being rolled out ahead of schedule and things will start opening within the next few months, that is a end and schedule we all need, this is happening this is ending, numbers are going down there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stop telling people they need to sacrifice the lives of their grandparents or family and friends who have health issues because you want to go to the pub. The other argument that is being used is small business that need to close is because they cant survive. This is not lockdowns fault this is the fault of the government not supplying enough money to those who need it. Stop calling people snowflakes just stop having a go at people who want to protect others. The main people to blame are the government, they only care about profit they do not care about individual lives. The only other people to blame are the ones breaking the rules, now I am not speaking about the people who’s mental health has gotten to a dangerous point and they need to see someone and talk, I don’t have a problem with that, I am also not talking about the BLM and other protest/marches that took place last year, these were necessary, yes it is unfortunate it had to happen during a global pandemic but it HAD to happen, I am talking about the people who just don’t care, the people who had parties, the people who went to the pub and restaurants with people from different households, the ones who decided to put their life ahead of other people’s.

I have seen first hand the different impacts Covid has has on people, on my mum, who almost died in hospital and is now living with PTSD and crippling fear of leaving the house, on my Nana who lives on her own and loves her independence, but doesn’t want to put herself or anyone else at risk, on an old friend who lost her mum weeks after mine came back from the hospital. It really shows that people who don’t experience things first hand can never truly understand how horrific this is for everyone else. 

Lastly anyone who uses mental health as their argument and does not have a mental illness fuck you, you don’t speak for me, you have no idea how hard this is please stop making it harder by using our struggles so you can go to the pub or the gym or wherever else your desperate to get back to, please just follow the rules have the vaccine so the rest of us can start getting our lives back to some normality. I know lots of people are saying the same thing and no one will ever read this, but I am not the type of person to argue with strangers on social media and every time I read comments from people saying we need to end this and basically fuck everyone else makes me so angry I come close. 

Please, just please. I really need this to end, in a safe way. Please, just please.