#you should have empathy for ppl like that but you don't because you still hate yourself

[bioethicists]

'recovering' or 'healing' by starting to hate your former self + shame or mock others for being the way you used to be isn't actually very healing. you can acknowledge + be grateful that you have changed without transferring all your self hatred/shame onto others.

#i see so many ppl like omg i was so cringe with my b/w depression blog + my angsty posts + attention seeking #like no you were just. sad. that's how you were sad then. it's not how you are sad now. #you should have empathy for ppl like that but you don't because you still hate yourself #and you can't stand to see yourself in others because you haven't. actually done much healing lol

[chaifootsteps]

Viv also has Dark_Crowl working on HB in boarding. She currently lives in Georgia (the country), but is a Russian who was working *in* Russia while also working on HB, while there are active Sanctions going on against Russia. While Sanctions technically have no legal recourse against corporations hiring freelance individuals (as opposed to hiring through companies, which is extremely illegal), it's still an extremely scummy move for corporations to employ. Not to mention that Georgia's government is extremely cooperative with Russia's in filtering taxes earned by Russians back into Russia, so her living there really doesn't change much on just where her taxes go (this is a common way Russians try to circumvent the Sanctions).

In the wake of this Ukraine/Russia debacle, Dark tweeted "I just wanna thank Viv for hiring ppl on the studio regardless of their nationalities, gender, sexuality and etc. I don't know where I could've been right now without her and SH And I'm so very grateful that at least in this community I'm not hated for just existing." https://twitter.com/Dark_Crowl/status/1704589043885871163 It's very nice that she can afford to hide in another country and avoid trouble while her taxes on those SH earnings went to destroying someone else's apartment, someone's hospital, someone's school. How grateful that she gets a community, while other people hide in terror and burry themselves unground to avoid the horrific trauma the soldiers above ground will enact on them if they come up. That's such a tone-deaf way to look at it, and tone-deaf seems to be the word of the year for SH.

DaniDraws is calling it xenophobia against Russians, https://twitter.com/DaniDraws666/status/1704523131614843294 but completely ignores the fact that Viv's studio is circumventing sanctions, probably because Russian labour is cheaper than American labour and she doesn't care of the taxes earned off that cheaper labour goes into firing missiles at civilian buildings. I don't think that she necessarily even supports Russia, I think she's just ignorant to literally anything outside of her own goals, including how *when you pay Russians living in Russia, they get taxed and it goes into lobbing more missiles at civilians*.

TL;DR: someone doesn't deserve hate just for being ethnically Russian, but if your studio is circumventing Sanctions in order to take advantage of cheaper labour and is paying Russians living in Russia or Georgia, then congrats - you're funding missile strikes on Ukrainian civilians, they have a right to be mad. It's not xenophobia, it's common empathy and awareness for things outside of your own little fantasy red demon zone. Someone else pointed this situation out to me like a year back when they first noticed, and I never bothered bringing it up because I didn't think it needed to be said. But if people like Dani want to get on a high horse about exploiting cheap labour around Sanctions, then more attention should be brought to the fact that they're doing just that.

Too fucking right it should. Thanks for the info, and for helping bring said attention.

#kedikatzen #vivziepop #vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #actual blog post

[fairy-pd]

Gabriel May finally finds a healthy coping mechanism - agere hcs

Hurt/comfort, gremlin man gets the love he deserves, GN reader, regressor!reader, sfw, mentions of trauma

MY BEAUTIFUL BABY MAN BABY. I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR. HE STINKS SO BAD G O D

general hcs:

I cannot stress this enough: in this household we support Gabriel's rights and Gabriel's wrongs

In my opinion he was just a really misunderstood and abused kid, who coped with ppl villainizing him constantly by becoming the monster everyone accused him of being

He internalized his traumatic experiences and now believes he's basically the antichrist and that he's incapable of changing

Also he could've not, yknow, killed a bunch of ppl and terrorized his sister for years, he is totally responsible for being a shitty person dont get me wrong

But at the same time, he was a kid. I feel bad for the fact that becoming this vengeful ghost of a person was the best option in his young mind. No child should ever have to make that choice, no kid should even consider that as a choice

He still is, in some ways, mentally a child. He didn't get to experience the milestones for an adult that Emily did, and from day one he was treated like a thing. His inner child is constantly *screaming* at him, begging for attention, but he got pretty good at pushing his feelings down and ignoring his own needs while in pursuit of his goals

He is very very immature because of all this. Think tantrums, having a terrible sense of object permanence, deeply rooted abandonment issues, etc

Even tho Emily managed to lock in that mind??? prison ??? thing??? he still gets out from time to time and that's how he met you: fucking around town while he could

Im not gonna dwelve in too deep as to how you guys started a relationship (romantic or platonic) but now you're the only person he trusts

He is capable of feeling empathy, just not a lot and not for everyone. With you he feels incredibly sensitive and caring, which is totally foreign to him and kinda makes him feel like he's gone "soft" - so don't make fun of him (or a big a deal out of the whole thing) when he expresses concern, or he will shut you down like he did with his sister

I kinda hc him as using sarcasm/humor to cope, so he'd be cracking some witty jokes here and there whenever he's nervous about doing something

his regression/caregiving style:

He is a flip through and through, though it would take a long time for him to accept his "little" side

He hates being vulnerable, hates not having the upper hand and control over things, so he would downright beat himself up for being "weak" and still having these childlike needs and thoughts

But remember he feels like he's doomed, like he can't help being a "monster"? Being a caregiver would help him immensely with these thoughts because even though he's a piece of shit gremlin, he would never intentionally hurt a child

So by letting yourself regress around him he would learn he can choose his fate. He is not doomed, because he is capable of seeing you in your most vulnerable state and not even consider the idea of taking advantage of that

And that blows his mind off lmao

And for some ~mysterious reason~ he starts to feel a little better, and to do a little better

Needless to say Emily is beyond grateful you're in their lives. Gabriel totally refuses to go to therapy (doctorphobic lol), and their relationship is as bad as it gets, but since you showed up Gabriel hasn't been a prick to her. He is very moody still, but they're not fighting over control of their brain and body anymore. Because of you, they started to be able to tolerate each other's presence and now they try their best to both not fight in front of you and to share their body as best as they can

He lowkey doesn't know how to act around you at first lmao, its kinda of endearing. He wont show but he's gonna be panicking inside and will wonder if the slightest touch or thing he says would hurt you

He cares. A lot, all the time, and since its just the two of you and he feels so strangely safe around you, he'll allow himself to be 100% invested in taking care of you

He's a craftsman, which could maybe make you think he'd spoil you rotten with gifts (which he will) but I feel he also wouldn't want to shut up about how absolutely adorable you look

Wouldn't go too crazy with the nicknames tho, at most would call you kitten/puppy/bunny

I figured moving probably feels pretty painful to him, so he'll deal a lot better with calm/sleepy regressors

But don't get too excited thinking he'd let you do whatever you want: he can and he will put you on one of those kid leashes with the backpack if he has to

I think that, with time, he'd go from a sort of lenient cg to a more strict one- it would help him to give someone rules to follow cus he'd have to take care of himself better to be able to take care of you

The most therapeutic thing to him about all this is to be able to give someone the childhood he didn't get to have: you'll never feel alone, he'll never belittle you or make you feel like there's something inherently wrong with you

On the contrary: he'd make a point on teaching your regressed self to love and accept yourself as best as you can

BIG fan of gentle parenting, got a tiktok account solely to watch those vids and to make mental notes on how to better care for you

Would get pretty jealous and protective over you and your relationship, specially around Emily

If you guys ever go out together and you happen to regress in public he will not let you feel bad about it. You better not take that paci out of your mouth honey, cus there's nothing to be ashamed of here

He isnt super big on parental nicknames, thinks dada/papa is fine but absolutely prefers bubba over those

Isnt super excited about touch at first either. At the begging of your relationship he would outright refuse it, but since discovering his cg headspace he has allowed himself to admit he's absolutely somewhat touch starved

Expect lots of little touches here and there, like brushing hair out of your face/tucking it behind your ear, adjusting your clothes, fixing your eyebrows, etc

Melts when you hug or compliment him. Will never ever let himself admit it tho, but will thank you for doing it

He keeps every drawing/little gifts you give him somewhere Emily wont find it, so he can 1) keep small you all to himself 2) protect his reputation as a stone cold and uncaring guy and 3) gush to himself over how lucky he is to have found you

Remember he's a craftsman? He loves making you big gifts out of literally anything he can get his hands on i.e. has turned one of Emily's old wooden pieces into a bunch of Montessori-inspired toys and plans on doing it again, cus fuck you Emily

Despite being good with big pieces, his fine motor skills are a disaster (thanks for having to use Emily's arms backwards). If you ever let him do your hair he will mess it up (and will get a good laugh out of both of you)

He is a great storyteller and loves playing pretend: will make up bed time stories on the spot

He's got a lot to learn, but if you give him enough love and try to be patient he'll outmatch your energy and will dedicate himself, body and soul, to you

Super caring cg once he finds a safe place to live and thrive in

i love him thats all. hope it wasnt too bad!! im kinda sleepy so apologies if something isn't consistent, I'll proofread this later. see ya, pt. 3 of tommy hewitt as a cg coming soon after this one❤

#agere #slasher fluff #slasher headcanons #gabriel may headcannons #gabriel may #gabriel may malignant #malignant #gabriel may x you #gabriel may x y/n #gabriel may x reader #cg! gabriel may #gabriel may x ageregressor #gabriel may fluff #agere slashers #horror agere #my writing

[raymend]

yes im making this post again because ive discovered again that 90% of my self doubt is absolutely incongruent to my real actual views on the world. what i mean is that...

for example i dont think anyone should be measured by their productivity or ability to work long hours that's insane. except for when its me? that's stupid!!

i can only pick it apart by being like Okay but this is 1. capitalist and 2. inherently ableist .

That^^ is the one way ive figured out how to continually question and work on internalized shit because it stops being about You as an individual but rather how that mindset can affect people without realising it. and i feel like this is especially important 4 ppl unlearning internalized homophobia n transphobia stuff (AND body image etc) where your internalized (now externalized) issues can absolutely trigger other people..

longer example under the cut i kept going sorry. tw transphobia

i think back to that tumblr funnyman w the crazy transmed rant (cant find it. dont really want to i remember it being pretty upsetting lol) about how he was mad that people want to see trans(masc) characters because he himself hates himself for being trans a lot & wish he was born a cis guy.. because when he was called out for it he said it was just a vent post? and even if the original posts werent full of veryyy misgendering language it would still be a weird post to make to an audience of impressionable trans kids, that being trans is some kind of mistake or problem .. it feels very irresponsible to say that, knowing the self hatred that can come along w the simple act of existing as trans and feeling different to others but then seeing someone u look up to talking about it like that..

i think especially now when state governments are doing so much homophobic and transphobic shit its more important than ever to be there for the younger members of the community and to work on your own internal biases so that you don't transfer them to the next generation. being trans doesn't have to suck that bad: it's not you that's the problem it's our transphobic society n government, and i think that's really necessary to hammer in.

i think trans doomerism is like so intensely vile because of the way that it thrives off of attacking other people (fat, gnc, poc, etc) for making it embarrassing and weird to be trans (Unlike Us Normal People Who Hate Ourselves) when its not their fuckin fault???? Hello i fucking hate optics nerds can you shut the fuck up and have empathy . Who do you think your enemy is . some neopronoun using mfs or the UNITED STATES FEDERAL GOVERNMENT !!!!!!!

and i used being trans as an example because it's the easiest to illustrate but my overarching point here is the fiona and shrek thing . YOUR negative thoughts, seemingly about just yourself, when externalized, OTHERS will extend that logic to themselves even when you don't intend it, and that's something that can be easily contributed to by societal issues & the isolation u can feel by not fitting the cishet white abled mold

#ray.txt #long post #if this gets 1 like im happy. Post typers are you out there..... lab ... lab pspsps 🏀<- not an angry emoji its kurokos basketball #^ Empathy in the general sense before someone comes in like Ummm actually. I mean be fucking nice idiot

[thestobingirlie]

To add to to anon about Nancy's common sense or lack thereof in s4. Idk if it's on the Duffers but yet again Nancy just exhibits reckless behavior when investigating Chrissys murder. Like bfr you are writing for a high school paper, you have zero investigating journaling experience (aside from Murray) and you drag in another guy who has even less experience. What high school paper would also publish this article? It's literally about one of their students. The parents would probably sue them. Again I see people saying it's her trauma of needing to solve things fast because she failed Barb but still. She should have known better than to drag in another person, after what happened with Jonathan and them getting fired for all we know the high school could have suspended them if the article went through. It's like she doesn’t think about the bigger picture. I would love if that would be addressed in the show, that Nancy's tunnel vision is a negative trait she needs to unlearn because she caused so much hurt with it. But that would require the writers to acknowledge Nancy's lack of empathy as well. (Ppl claim Nancy talking to Wayne shows how she's such a sweet and caring person, when in reality she manipulated him to get her story and clues. She's very selfish which I love but I would like it even more if it was portrayed as a negative trait with consequences)

Then later after Vecna revealed his plan to Nancy, she shot everyone down (Steve and Eddie) who were like nope this plan sucks. Steve literally is their best fighter (with Hopper and El) if he has reservations the group should listen to him. Nancy's need to be right and not listening to others got us in this mess and I hope they address it and she can learn from it in s5. I hate when people say well Steve is just against everything, he doesn't care look how dismissive he is when in reality him putting a stop to things is him trying to keep the group save. Besides Steve, nobody really has common sense, they are smart nerds but they need people like him who can strategitize. I mean he was captain of the basketball team and swim team, he's a leader with good ideas.

Nancy also getting a gun instead of a flamethrower shows she doesn't have common sense. When did her guns help anyone? In s3 in the cabin it was Lucas and Jonathan who got El out from the Mindflayers grip and she couldn't disable the car. It's established since s2 the Mindflayer/Vecna hates heat, guns don't do anything only buy you some time. And I hate that Nancy's moment of shooting Vecna was framed as the most iconic and important moment in vol2, when it was Steve and Robin who lit him up and did the most damage. Without that they would have been dead. Nancy saw him covered in vines primary to that moment, she should know vines especially don't care about bullets, if Vecna has them as his body armor why tf would she use the gun.

yeah, it is funny that she investigates a murder as if she’ll be able publish it in the school paper, and she lies to wayne about who she is, saying she works for a ‘small paper’. girl, you’re in journalism club.

i definitely think she feels like she has to solve it because of barb, though honestly i don’t really understand why she drags fred along. like, she doesn’t know chrissy’s death has anything to do with the upside down, and she seems to bin fred off pretty quickly to talk to wayne. and i would’ve thought that after last season she would’ve decided she was better off investigating alone. she doesn’t even seem to like fred much, why bring him along?

i definitely think that would’ve been a better story line, that nancy decides to work alone, and realises that you just can’t do this kind of stuff alone, and that she does need people. because nancy’s development relies on her making friends, so why cut her further away from others when she could have a realisation that she needs steve and the kids. instead the duffers just killed off another teen in close proximity to her to make her feel guilty.

yeah, nancy totally gets tunnel vision and is selfish, which is a super interesting character trait, if it were acknowledged!

the way steve literally said it was a shit plan, and then they ended up losing. but will that be acknowledged? no.

but yeah, steve was a team captain, he should be good at delegating and deciding the risk of things, and i don’t think it makes sense that nancy should be in charge of a group. in the same way that i wouldn’t put murray in charge of a group. nancy is smart, but like you said earlier, she gets tunnel vision, she struggles to recognise a situation outside of her own opinions. she’s not the most empathetic, and i think she often cares more about being right than other people feelings, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not a great personality trait for a leader.

i’m so tired of the gun thing. it never works! it’s used to try and make nancy look badass and then she never even kills anything! everyone else has to do the killing while she shoots her useless guns. lucas literally chopped the mind flayer with a fucking axe, but people only ever care about nancy with a shotgun in her arms. give her a fucking flamethrower, that’d be awesome.

#nancy wheeler critical #steve harrington #stranger things #asks #anon

[haughty-ojousama]

I'm honestly rlly fucking glad I wasn;t born a girl, my parents were already shitty enough to me as a wee lad that I wanted to kill myself before I was like even 5 cuz I felt I was such a burden and disappointment to everyone, and they got better, but they still treat my kid sister like shit.

my dad fucking whines about my sister being 'needy' and always saying good night and I love you multiple times in a row and he worries she'll be easy to abuse as an adult, and like, yeah, I do get that, but you pile on nothing but criticism on the poor girl, even on honest mistakes. my sister fucking gets sick if she doesn't immediately fess up even misdemeanors and my parents fucking DARE accuse her of lying, fuck hell, she's 10, she calls you to confess she looked at a computer to tell time or some shit, but ohhh, she's a liar an exaggerator, fucking die!

criticize her for eating sweets, constantly fatshame her, she's not even fucking plump goddammit, criticize her every move, lecture her forever cuz she accidentally broke something that was in constant use, just fuck....

and my dad goes on abt childhood innocence being important, as if she's not almost a teen, as if innocence wasn't invented by victorian men to rape their daughters easier, fucking hell....

I tell my sister abt mental disorders, and he fucking calls me out for not talking abt 'agency' I gave simple definitions and causes of things to a 10 yo when explaining why I got into psychology, what the fuck do you mean agency, when the fuck was I supposed to talk abt that?

was it when I was describing how narcissists and ASPDs and borderlines were influenced by childhood trauma? was I supposed to assign agency to a child abused by their guardians? I mean, he didn;t mean it that way, but like, if anyone does, y'know, uh.... FUCKING KILL YOURSELF YOU SUBHUMAN SACK OF SHIT

I SWEAR TO GOD WE ASSIGN AGENCY TO ABUSED CHILDREN FOR BEING ABUSED ALREADY WE JUST DON'T SAY IT OUTRIGHT CUZ EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS THAT'S A MONSTEROUS THING TO SAY SO WE DISGUISE IT SO WE CAN SCAPEGOAT THE INEVITABLE IMPERFECT VICTIMS AND I HATE IT AND I WANT EVERYONE WHO PERPETUATES THIS SHIT, EVERYONE WHO BLAMES KIDS FOR THEIR OWN ABUSE, TO CARVE OUT THEIR OWN FUCKING GUTS fuck you fuck you fuck all of you

the other thing, which he likely meant, was assigning agency to cluster Bs for their actions, but no one means that. I explain ASPD leaves you with lower empathy and impulse control, and I'm told I didn't assign 'agency', go fuck yourself mister, when you say agency, you mean 'subhumanize these people'

like obviously cluster Bs can abuse and be dipshits and unpleasant, so can normal people, cluster Bs can also do good things and be caring and helpful and benign, but I guess if we don't have a class of battleroid evil mooks to assign all societal evil to because GOD FORBID we introspect upon our own capacity for evil

also diagnosis is strictly a tool to help people work around their issues, if I see you hoes using it to pathologize dicks to avoid introspecting upon your own evil, I'll.... well I don't have the energy to suibait you bitches, but like, imagine me handing you a loaded gun and telling you to kill yourself

AND THEN FUCKING DO IT BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DANGER IN AGGREGATE TO EVERYONE ELSE

but then if that was followed, most ppl would prolly kill themselves, and that's not that good ig

anyways, to cap this off, while this is a vent and ramble, I should note, my parents are better than most and actively trying to be better, and that they learned their bullshit from worse superstructures

[egyptian-sun-god]

Autistic Ppl of Tumblr

I beg of you please help me....

So I've been recently told by an autistic friend of mine, hey you reflect a lot of traits that got me diagnosed, maybe look into it. I have and I'm lowkey connecting with a lot of things so I need someone who's had similar experiences to objectively to look at this mess and tell me if anything resonates? I beg help.

Right so some things which to me feel like very clear traits are

I always feel like everyone is like me. Which makes me struggle with empathy because I don't fully get why someone would be mad about something that doesn't make me mad. I once teased a mutual about something that personally if they'd teased me about I would've been fine but was told ayo that's not cool. And I genuinely didn't fully understand why they'd not be cool with what i said.

I don't really get what's socially okay or not okay. Example would be I say stuff that other people say to each other but its okay for them and not okay for me because they're close so they can say that to each other and I'm not close w them so I shouldn't say that which didn't fully make sense but I accepted it. Also I tend to cut into conversations which is also rude.

I went 2 years being very severely bullied but I didn't realize it because I thought that's just how ppl were. Cause people in my old school also made fun of me but I made fun back so I just thought that's how kids are but apparently I was severely bullied; For context, I'm brown so when ppl touched me they used to mimic washing their hands or make a whole deal about sanitizing their hands. I got pushed down stairs, my stuff would get hidden, lunch getting tossed out, laughed at for my accent or like my demeanor in class.

I mimicked a lot of things other people say. Like someone around me would say something and I'd repeat it instantly. Didn't fully know why, it always just felt like an instinctual thing. Even now I mimic the way people speak instinctually as a way to connect and feel more natural in the conversation

Leading with that I also copied how other people acted in social situations as sort of a social script on how to be? Like I'd see my friends talk and try to mimic the way they spoke or like what they were interested in to connect with them.

I overthink the smallest things like oh is this person mad at me? Have I done something or said something? They haven't messaged me since day 1 of like highly specific moment maybe we aren't friends anymore. Like when I first made friends with someone very quickly that I didn't expect I literally analysed it to a science with a friend because I didn't know if we were actually friends or was I just dreaming it or something. And this happens with every single friendship till I get some obvious verbal confirmation that me and a person are friends.

I get very defensive or argumentative about what I think is right or fair or what should be the normal even when I shouldn't be arguing or it is pointless to argue. My father always says I argue for the sake of arguing which I don't think is really true, I'm just trying to prove my point which I think is right. I'm working on learning when to just shut up and apologize and move on tho.

I HATE HATE HATE having my stuff moved around without my knowledge. So my mum cleaning my desk or moving my stuff always sends me half into a fit. I'd much rather move things myself. I dislike other people touching my stuff with a passion. When my parents had to move houses and they had to open my drawers without me being there I was so paranoid and stressed on call even though I didn't have anything to hide. I just felt stressed, I suppressed it tho cause I felt like it wasn't the right thing to express? But I still remember how on edge I was.

I struggle with certain senses. Like what was fine 2 minutes ago in terms of noise and people and lighting can very quickly go into a stress or panic attack type feeling where everything just feels dialled on 200% and I need to leave ASAP. Sensory overload may be the term for this.

I had a very strong aversion to certain foods and textures growing up. I think I have somewhat grown out of this or have learned to firm it and move on, but as a child it was terrible. I still get very nervous when my friends are like oh you should try new foods because I'm always scared I'll hate them and I will waste it or I just don't know how it's going to taste like so I don't really want to take any risks.

I talk a lot and I talk for hours on end about my interest and it doesn't really affect me when the people around me don't actively listen to me. I just continue rambling and go on tangents here and there

I can't sit still and I always feel very understimulated. I feel like my brain needs more things to work. There's a running joke I need to be at a 90% stress level for optimal studying

I'm very time-blind. I'm perpetually late to everything in life. Like I look at the time and I'm like oh yes showering and eating will only take me half an hour surely ill make it by 2.30. sike, i only leave my house at 3.45. That sort of vibe.

I struggle a lot with remembering overall things but certain things I can recall down to a science. I can't remember where I kept my phone last but I can remember my friend's bubble tea order from years ago.

There's a lot of times people have to tell me to be quieter because I'm too loud for the setting. I can't really control my volume well, I try but it slowly just goes back to default

This is a hyper-specific memory but someone was like asking yo do you know what rizz means to the general group and i automatically chimed that it meant charisma and everyone was disappointed cause apparently I wasn't supposed to answer that question but i didn't actually know and I felt bad after.

I bite the skin of my fingers all the time to the point fingerprinting me is a bit of a pain. I can't fully stop it even when I actively try to. its a very automatic thing when I'm just in any situation.

I don't get arbitrary social rules. Like I always bother people for the why in everything

I have to usually confirm when people are joking.

I weirdly am very social though. I love meeting new people, I'm a big extrovert I LITERALLY cannot survive without talking to people. Talking to people is a big source of stimulation and energy for me. I get very depressed if I haven't had one good conversation with someone in a day.

I'm also a social butterfly and I'm kinda good with small talk and casual conversation and keeping the flow in a conversation going naturally (though this is a fairly recent development from like high school only)

I'm told I'm a very honest and direct person and I have no problems being open about my problems and issues and deep shit to people in the first conversation we have. I thought this was normal...apparently its weird

I feel all of my emotions very deeply and getting lied to or having promises be broken is a very deep hurt for me. Like even the smallest things can lead to full sadness cry and the tiniest W can be like the cause of singing joy.

I don't think I stim.....but sometimes I'll just move my hands or feet randomly because I feel unstimulated and I need to just feel something so I move around. And when I'm on a panic attack I rock back and forth and sing to myself. But I think thats normal

I used to get very stressed over talking on a phone call to make orders or like ask for anything on phone and even today sometimes I'll need to rehearse what I'm gonna say to the person on call. Its gotten better though, I no longer dread calling customer service.

I don't really have a set routine for the day either. I'm quite spontaneous but certain things I feel weird without. Like if I shower at night I hate it. I need to shower before I start my day. I need a cup of milo/tea or else I just feel weird the whole day. Or something that is a routine is that I have a wet drying rack for my dishes and a dry drying rack and I cannot put wet dishes on the dry drying rack at all costs even after my flatmates have said no one follows that rule.

I struggle with paying attention in class but I take good notes and I study well and I'm overall a fairly academically strong student. But like sometimes class is just boring and I just need more energy. And I can't sit still to save my life.

So yh that was a rant. Is any of the relatable?

#being autistic #autistic spectrum #autistic experiences #autsim #???? i guess #help #autistic adult #maybe idk yet #relatable content

[egg-emperor]

I have seen ppl praise Frontiers bc Eggman's dynamic with Sage makes him feel "more human" and... I just don't get why Eggman feeling "more human" is a good thing. It's softening his sharp edges and what makes him an iconic villain to turn him into a mainstream "villain with a heart of gold". Also if Eggman needs to feel "more human" for people to like him, those aren't true Eggman fans.

Yeah I'll never understand why this trend of softening every single villain is appealing to people, it's boring and done to death at this point. It's bothersome how people won't just let villains be villains like they'll let heroes be heroes. But here's the thing- Eggman can feel human without changing his entire character and trying to make him into a good person.

It's just that people have terrible definitions of what being human is and are quick to strip the status away and see people as subhuman because they don't want to accept humans can be terrible. The worst kinds of monsters are still human and nothing will change that. There's no set of rules and morals that people have to follow, feel, and do to be human.

But Eggman has feelings, passions, thoughts and beliefs and we see them all the time without being like "he secretly has a wholesome good soft caring side everyone cry UWU!!!" because it's done in a clever way that requires effort of understanding what makes him tick and what he'd really think, feel, do when taking important core personality aspects into account.

You can be a horrible person and still be human. You can have low empathy and still be human. You can do all the worst things imaginable and still be human. Humans can be good just like they can be bad, like everything else in life. Stripping people away of their status in humanity when they do something evil and fucked up is just denial that they're just like us.

Eggman is an evil cruel bastard that doesn't care about anyone but himself but he's also smart, determined, funny, energetic, passionate, creative and talented, and has hopes and dreams. He can be happy, angry, sad, amused, and passionate. Those are all human and don't stop just because some can't accept not everyone is or good or capable of change.

And there's so much you can do with all that to feel like a flesh and blood human, without changing his whole character in total disrespect of what makes him who he is, everything he does and stands for, and how great of a character he is for it. He has endless potential without forcing him into a box that he doesn't belong him and warping him into someone else.

I agree that everyone who wants to strip him away of that and force a kind, caring, pure good side to make him more likable aren't fans. People that love the real Eggman accepts him as he is and doesn't see him as someone that needs to be changed in every single way. I can't believe people don't like that Eggman is evil and just want him to become a good person.

I don't like how people won't let villains be villains and act like it's a bad thing. The idea that every single bad guy should be the same is sad. It disappoints me that there are people that absolutely despise him as his true self and think ruining that is improving his character. The real Eggman is still so hated and ignored and I fear it's going to get so much worse now.

#dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post #asks

[noxiatoxia]

""discourse"" shit under cut i just need to vent smth out from posts i've seen

tw talking about zoophilia + pedophilia (necrophilia is mentioned)

I am so fucking sick of this pro-para movement. And I am so fucking scared for the kids and even young adults who are a part of this. And, to an extent (especially the kids), I can't fault them. This is the PERFECT trap for anybody with low self-esteem. Have a disorder that everyone criminalizes you for and wants you dead? of COURSE youre gonna seek out like minded people in a little echo chamber bc it makes you feel good. Still fucking sucks it's as big as it is though.

when people say "zoo/necro/map dni" or whatever the fuck they mean just that. not just the "offending" ones. You know why? BECAUSE YOURE PROUDLY PROCLAIMING YOU GET OFF TO THINGS THAT CANT CONSENT. This is the BIG issue with "pro-para". I am 100% for more education on these disorders because YES, THEY ARE DISORDERS and they can't be controlled (aka, you can't just "not have it" anymore.) This would make anyone feel alone and alienated. Showing a little empathy and encouraging them to get consoling and not just showing outright hate/seclusion would probably reduce this echo chamber problem steeply bc, again, ppl are doing this mostly bc they don't have anyone else they feel like they can talk to or turn to.

But the thing is, taking pride in your harmful disorder shows you are PROUD to be this. You are not intent on seeking help. You are interacting with enablers. Even if you're "non offending" but you still have "im a pedo yippie!!!" all over your blog ofc people are gonna block your ass. You should be proud of OVERCOMING your disorder. Be proud of THAT. Be proud of the progress you make to get therapy, to get help, to grow. Also, ppl being proud in their disabilities aren't fucking comparable. Last time I checked being paralyzed in the legs doesn't involve wanting to harm other people.

This is also a stupid fucking argument. I have never seen a radfem talk about paraphilias. Even if they did, so what?? That does not change the fact that animals & corpses & children cannot consent. That is a scientific fact. This person seems to be talking about a sexual attraction to objects, which while can be considered weird, is overall pretty harmless. When people are "anti pro-para" I can 99% assure you they are not talking about the guy who's reeeeally into shoes. They're talking about the "big three". To most normal people the latex glove lovers & the plushie fuckers are just "fetishists" which isn't an inherently bad thing. You're just kinky.

Also, a paraphilia, by definition, is a sexual attraction, not romantic. This is like those zoophiles who argue "but we fall in love with our pets romantically!!" when really it all comes back to sex. Can there be people who "fall in love" with their pets?? sure. But zoophilia is, first and foremost, a paraphilia, which is a SEXUAL DISORDER.

The thing is, like, I'm so pissed off not just at how gross this all is, but because I SEE WHY IT IS HAPPENING. It is BECAUSE we, as a society, offer little to no education and help to these people. So of course, to feel loved and accepted, they're gonna create an echo chamber with themselves and promote this activity and normalize it. Yeah, I hate pedophilia and zoophilia and etc as much as the next guy, but I also recognize the people who have these disorders didn't ask for it, and I do genuinely feel a level of sympathy that they got dealt such a shitty hand. All of this is NOT an excuse to enter that echo chamber and be "proud" of your disorder. Nor is it acceptable to act like you belong in the LGBT COMMUNITY. That's fucking sick and tears down the hard work our community has done to NOT be associated with pedophilia and the like.

I am especially scared as it is growing, and so more kids are getting groomed and conditioned into this stuff. My fucking blood goes cold everytime I see an AAM(adult attracted minor) because MINORS ARE ATTRACTED TO ADULTS THAT'S NORMAL?????? All those teenage girls crushing over 1D??? their kpop idols????? Justin Bieber??? The middle school boys into Lara Croft???? THIS IS NORMAL. IT'S SO FUCKED UP THAT KIDS FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE TO IDENTIFY AS THAT??? OPENING THEM UP TO PREDATORS???? I know there are likely cases where the kid, for whatever reason, may have a genuine fetish for getting groomed or something, but obviously THEY SHOULD GET HELP.

And I can't help but feel some of this behavior is pushed by internet weirdos who are so fucking anal about anime characters. "You can't be in love with that anime character cuz he's 15!!!" WHEN THE PERSON IN QUESTION IS LIKE. 17???? Also those characters don't age. like, if you liked a 13 yr old character when you were 12 and still like them when you're 19 then like.......r u supposed to just stop. Like it's so fucking asinine and I feel like this purity bullshit in harmless spaces like fiction make kids believe it's wrong to be into ppl in their same age group ? Ooooobviously this pales in comparison to the issue of pedos grooming these kids and pro-para being normalized but i cant help but think it's a factor, if only cuz of personal experience

If you are suffering from a disorder like this, I truly DO feel bad for you. Like, that sucks, and I'm sorry it happened to you. But you can be better than this. You don't have to be the guy who gives in and ruins somebody else's life. You can be better and stronger than that and actually have something to feel PROUD about when you take steps to overcome your disorder.

idfkkkkk it's just been pissing me off as of late.

#/pol/

[pussyistheforbiddenfruit]

I related a lot to what you said about having to let go of the feminist savior complex... Myself I was under the illusion that if you gave all the right informations any woman could come out of this pathological denial state about male nature. At some point I realized how can you save women who don't even want to save themselves?

It's better to focus on yourself and the women who get it because trying to build an alliance by focusing all your attention/energy on the women who don't just leaves you frustrated and angry.

(Also your posts are always interesting to read 🙂)

Hey anon! I always like it when anons talk to me lol.

But fr that illusion can be strong, you think that just because YOU want to be set free that every woman will want to, you want to be a hero for them but it's not the case at all I had to realize, shit had me crying when I realize I cant "save" all women.

You are right most women don't like saving themselves it's either because they are addicted to men (semen chemical warfare) or they brainwashed I used to give these excuses to myself as to why women are like this is and why I should fight for women when I was a feminist, but I slowly got more and more frustrated wondering to myself how long this shit gotta go on for?? Like, aren't women tired of this game yet? Well, they're not, oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️

Yep that's exactly what im doing too focusing on myself honestly I hate this mindset I grow up with the values of respecting the community and putting ppl first, but honestly its just make me a doormat, I hate individualism but I also hate the community mindset what ppl need to learn is to balance between these two values.

Lol yep it does give you a headache trying to give a shit about women, I don't feel empathy for women anymore, yea I have sympathy for them but not empathy I don't wanna put my mind in their trauma, if you know what I mean. Its fucks you up I swear, reading all of that traumatizing shit that women go through made ME traumatized I have never been raped nor harmed by men but I still manage to internalize the trauma, it's bad for your mind.

I honestly don't know when women will wake up, probably never tbh, it's seems women are in it too deep.

Also thanks for the compliment! ❤️ Im happy you find my posts interesting!

[bioethicists]

Genuine question, but is restorative/ transformative justice useful for addressing hate groups?

I was under the impression that the prevention of violence extended to hate groups, but I keep seeing the reoccurring message from some people that incels, for example, don't need compassion or community (reasoning being, that they became incels because of their entitlement and superiority complex, which would not be solved with accountable compassion or community).

But I don't really understand the unspoken alternative? It seems so much worse for the women they'll inevitably interact with to just leave them isolated in their community, edging each other to the extreme.

while i do think some people online genuinely believe that incels are like, broken sociopathic monsters who need to be murdered or abandoned by society because it's their own fault etc, i think most of the time what people mean by that is "the burden of teaching men not to hate women should not be on women; men are still responsible for their own hateful actions; they are not owed my compassion or empathy, even if it would 'help' them". it's also backlash to the fact that people like incels often get painted as poor little victims in a way many other people (like the women they hate so much) do not.

that being said, everything that happens to anyone ever happens in community, whether people like it or not. total individualism is fake + any leftist worth their salt knows this. if the only way you can imagine someone having accountability for their actions is to believe that something is entirely, 100% their fault with absolutely no outside influences or nuance, then nobody can never be held accountable for anything. everyone needs compassion + community (i would argue the benefit many ppl derive from hate group membership is a sense of community), but i wouldn't say they are owed it by any individual. i would also say that the way in which compassion/community is applied (often when there is no political analysis + it's just based on appeals to "everyone has good inside them" or "love away the hate") in these cases can become just a way of reinforcing an echo chamber, refusing to challenge someone's beliefs, or silencing the people harmed (critiquing ppl for not being "good" victims or not having compassion for their abusers).

ppl often misunderstand restorative approaches as being "lesser" or "letting people off" when they can often require more accountability + more demonstration of change than a carceral approach. it is not synonymous with "loving someone's hate" or "letting them off easy". i mean, under the u.s carceral system, membership in most hate groups is not illegal. even when it becomes legally relevant, the people who are actually harmed are rarely centered in these approaches- it's just a bloodfest over how much we can punish people so we can show off how we think misogyny is super bad even as the court system continues to be one of, if not the most prolific perpetrator of misogyny + victim blaming. as if a handful of violent misogynists' suffering is supposed to be vindication or deterrence (when it never rlly is).

ultimately, there are tens of thousands of reasons why someone may be a member of a hate group, but it usually boils down to the fact that they are deriving some sort of benefit- financial, emotional, familial, cultural, interpersonal, etc- for doing so. some people would probably respond really well to a restorative approach because they would be capable + interested in delving into why they believe these things + how they could get their needs met without harming others. others are fully aware of the fact that they are deriving benefit at the expense of others + simply do not care or, worse, that is the benefit for them- the hurting other people/feeling superior to others. part of moving outside of the logic of the carceral system is moving past the idea that every individual person must be either punished or saved, rather than focusing on the conditions which create hate groups + give them power.

there may be a lot of individual members of hate groups who would not benefit from restorative practices, but we can still make hate group membership as undesirable + lacking benefit as possible, minimize the amount of power + resources they have to do harm, magnify the amount of power + resources the people they are harming have access to. to me, this is restorative, because it focuses on minimizing harm rather than punishing perpetrators + centers around people who have been harmed. further, if we understand the needs or desires that often drive hate group membership, we can work to make those needs/desires easier to fulfill through less destructive means + do the structural work of addressing why, for example, so many teenage boys have a need/desire to feel sexually dominant or 'alpha'.

the biggest restorative work to me is not based on any one individual, but on making the pathways into hate groups as narrow as possible + the pathways out as broad as possible, while still emphasizing accountability + capacity for change.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I need to rant and idk it my friends don't know about my family life so I can't rant to them.

emotional abuse tw

So I usually (it is my job although it's never been aaid it is my job and I don't get any thanks for it) I clean the kitchen daily. It is astonishing, how much dirt 3 ppl in 1 day make. I am usually busy for 2h. Today I didn't do the kitchen. I did it yesterday very carefully and today was the first day in a month when it wasn't too dark to pain smth. Our appartment has almost no windows so I usually don't pain all winter.

I wanted to do it afterwards but decided to go swimming, for my chronic pain, and do it afterwards. My mom came home before I went swimming and I heard her... Being angry. Like, making food angry, throwing forks around, you know that kind of stuff probably. So I didn't leave my room and went swimming when she took a nap.

I just returned and apparently my mom didn't only throw stuff around but also put every piece of dirt that was in the kitchen, be it food leftovers, plastic, my preparations for dinner, together into the sink. And left. And now I am here with a sink full of combined, stinky dirt and no food preparation.

And I am so stupid stupid stupid, I knew it, I was stressed all day that I dared to pain instead of clean. But I was so happy that it was light enough (and I did all my other chores).

The last time I skipped the kitchen, 4 years ago, she throw all the dirt and trash she could find into my bed so I guess it could be worse.

I am so tired of this bad atmosphere all the time, this silent anger, and this passive aggressive bullshit all the time. I have to behave every fucking day and I hate the second she returns from work, my day kinda ends there because I am not allowed to use my pc nor to leave my room (not forbidden but she will take her chance and yell at me, 100% of the time).

And on the other hand idk how serious to take this bc she has chronic pain too and is changing her meds atm and in a lot of pain but still... Normal people wouldn't do this, no matter in how much pain they are!

Oh I am soooo sick of this bullshit, I just want some peace and silence, seriously.

Off to clean the sink now...

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been dealing with.

It's incredibly unfair for her to put that kind of responsibility on you. It's unbalanced and disregards your needs, your time and energy, and your chronic pain. The fact that she has chronic pain too is surprising, because you'd think that she'd have the empathy to recognize how putting that much work on you can be. It would make sense for her to have some compassion and understanding towards the fact that if she doesn't want to take care of these chores, then maybe she has some insight into how you might feel about it as well.

I'm not sure that having a conversation about this with her would be effective, but unless you've tried already, it might be helpful to talk to her about making a compromise and evenly balancing these chores. This shouldn't have to be your burden to carry - others, especially your mom, should be willing to help lighten your load.

You are seen and heard.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse

[grewlikefancyflowers]

Question. Is WWX anti-rich? I see ppl describe him like this but I don't really think so. I think he's anti-tyrrants whether they're born upperclass (Wens, Jins, Jiangs) or lowerclass (Xue Yang)? He himself doesn't mind if he's poor or rich; he expressed sadness when he thought abt how he used to have money (Yi City empathy); but he also doesn't mind if he ends up living simple. I don't think he generally hates wealth or he's "tolerating" lwj being rich like some ppl in the fandom are saying.

hmm i guess this depends on exactly how you're defining 'anti-rich'...

is wwx someone who is resents rich individuals purely by virtue of them being rich? no. his husband is rich, almost everyone he knows is rich.

is wwx someone who spurns wealth? no. he has no problem enjoying the material benefits of wealth* both in his youth at lotus pier and when he is with lwj (ch.87, x)

however, wwx is critical of some things associated with wealth, eg ostentatious displays of wealth (see his reactions to jzx, jl, and jc's use of fuxian nets on dafan mt.) wwx & lwj also refuse payment for night-hunting (intrusion) whereas jc requires gifts just so people can have an audience with him (ch.85), and the jin sect turns away anyone whose status is deemed to low (iron hook). so i think it can be said that wwx is critical of the amassing of wealth at others expense, using wealth to oppress others, and using wealth to show off or increase status.

while 'anti-tyranny' is maybe a more fitting descriptor than anti-rich, it should be kept in mind that in mdzs (and irl), the two things are integral to each other. (eg xue yang was only able to go as far as he did because of the resources and protection afforded to him by the jin sect).

*while wwx has no problem spending jfm's and lwj's money, we see that wwx generally uses his wealth to buy gifts for others (ch.18,33). we also see that he insists on paying when offered free food.

''The vendor grinned as well, “Young Master Wei, you want one? I’ll give it to you for free. Not charging anything.”

Wei WuXian, “I’ll have one. Charge it still.”'' (ch.71)

and when he asks lwj for more money in dawn til dusk, it's because he spent all his taking the juniors out to eat.

even when he's 'sad' about being poor in yi city, it's in this context lol

'He reminisced, If you stole my money, you wouldn’t have cursed in such a way. Back then, I used to be wealthy as well… Just as he was sighing about how he became so poor, A-Qing had already found her next target.' (ch.38)

tbh this doesn't read as very sad to me? esp as we see only a few chapters earlier wwx gleefully spending lwj's money (again), it comes off as pretty light-hearted. like 'ugh i'm so poor now' rather than truly lamenting about it.

so even when he has wealth, it doesn't ever seem like wwx was ever particularly interested in spending it on himself, other than for food.

#mdzs #also like hmm i come across a few 'wwx would be rich in a modern au' takes and like. ok there's several problems with that. #the first is—you guys realise amassing vast amounts of wealth under capitalism is a /bad/ thing right ?? #second is this headcanon seems to work off the notion that in a modern au there are absolutely no barriers to obtaining wealth #as long as you're smart enough ? innovative enough ? work hard enough? which is demonstrably untrue and a take steeped in classism #and capitalist propaganda. #mdzs meta

[imagine-your-love-story]

Random but I saw a post about self inserts. To bottle it down "why???? (/gen) self-inserting doesn't adds to the narrative???" - which wasn't malicious but damn it rubbed me the wrong way and I annoyed D: 1) Bold assumption I am not a foil to my f/o, thematically relevant to themes and/or overall my addition isn't crucial to what I am making (adding me literally change the whole genre of the source material into slice-of-life-comedy, in a way original cast couldn't be used bc I am methaphorically a clown unlished into a serious buisness meeting and that's why it works DFDFG) 2) Bold assumption narrative concerns me at all in the first place- In my case the goal is romantic feelings, affection and comfort. I cannot use any canon x canon to sumplement this bc I am highly apathetic with low empathy (my autism thing). Not like I feel myself ever represented by canon characters in *anything* anyway :| ALSO I've been also involuntarily socialy isolated from ppl for over 10 years (not going to end anytime soon either), the only ppl I have around is my neglectful mom and cat. And that's it. I live in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Not even neighbours. Our car broken down some time ago. Only mail gets here. One might only imagine how isolation and routine so extreme can fuck up a human, an extremely social being with social needs. I'm literally trying to keep myself sane here, narrative be damned- X'D 3) Also bold assumption that I like the rest of the cast of [source material], I want them to begone actually DFGF 4) Also I simply prefer to interact that way with media. It's fun to me. The same way I have a friend who hates anything self-inserty and always has to have a full-made protag (= not a fan of RPGs). And that should be all the explanation needed really :v

But sure, (gonna be salty 4 a sec) what a self-insert brings to *THE* narrative- since narrative must be upheld so highly and is (paraphrazing) "already complete with the original cast" :/ Honestly the assumption of ppl's s/is irrelevance here is somehow the most annoying. I've been through some bs alright. And I have some valuable things to say about it. I just don't want to do it by proxy of canon chara :/ And other ppl have complicated, deep inner lives (it feels insulting to imply otherwise ngl) so I assume same goes for others. And some ppl don't care at all bc they're just powerful and vibin' like that B) DFDF

(a me: @nekociapek / @ladynyat)

WHAT THE - 

WHY would someone say that???? That’s ridiculous!! -_- I don’t understand why people post sh!t like that. Even if it’s not really malicious, it’s still kinda negative and they can just...not say anything! There’s PLENTY of stuff in fandom(s) that I don’t understand and/or like, but I don’t waste my time on it. I move on and focus on what I enjoy instead!

Anyway - mini rant over

....ACTUALLY I’M NOT DONE 😡

1. There is literally NO requirement that our interaction with media of any kind MUST add to the narrative! That’s like saying, “A hobby is a waste of time unless you’re making money at it.” (BIG NO) That makes it sound like if we have any interaction with media, it’s our DUTY to add to the narrative.

Heck no it’s not!

2. The ENTIRE point of storytelling is to make us think. To find a piece of ourselves in the narrative. So OF COURSE self-shipping DOES add to the narrative in some way! We’re literally inserting ourselves into the narrative and interacting with it, just like EVERY person does when they listen to/watch/read a story! As soon as we consume the story and expose ourselves to it, we’re interacting with it!

3. It doesn’t matter if it adds to the narrative or not.  It doesn’t HAVE to add to the narrative. Self-shipping is literally not for anyone else except yourself. No, we’re not out here writing 100k AUs for some rando to read free (and then sh!t all over because “it’s not true to canon” or whatever 😒 ) Self-shipping is FOR YOU. Not anyone else. So it automatically adds to YOUR interpretation of the narrative!

4. Like you mentioned, canon often misses entire demographics. People aren’t seeing themselves represented in fiction so it’s THAT MUCH MORE IMPORTANT for EVERYONE to explore stories with a vision of themselves in mind in order to spread awareness and educate people.

I can’t tell your story. I haven’t lived your life. Likewise, you can’t tell my story because I’m the only one who has lived it. I know all the details of my story and you know all the details of your story.

Canon isn’t sacred ground that must remained untouched. At one time, it was just an idea, like the myriad of ideas rolling around in your head. Yes, the canon material managed to make it to a larger platform, i.e. Netflix, Hollywood, etc. But that really doesn’t make it any better than anyone else’s ideas. Mainstream media has had a LONG run of spreading narratives that are harmful - i.e. racism, fat shaming, etc. So it’s a damn good thing to NOT add to the narrative in some cases! :P

You have so many excellent points, lovely, and I’m so glad you shared your ask with me!! ♥♥♥ Fiction has provided understanding, acceptance, and some form of escape for centuries. Just one look at the oldest cave paintings in the world and you’ll see early artists painted hunters, LIKE THEMSELVES, into powerful stories of hunting bison and deer.

Fiction provides us sanctuary. It gives us a voice in this big world to say (and hear!) “You are not alone.”

Whether someone wants to interact with stories through self-inserts, original characters, RPGs, you name it - it’s all a celebration of storytelling! ♥

#asks #anonymous #nekociapek #ladynyat

[ablednt]

so we’ve talked a lot abt how si’s aren’t exempt from criticism and that’s 100% valid but i feel like the “you being autistic doesn’t make you exempt from criticism” has somewhat gotten twisted on here? like there’s a difference between promoting harry potter or other bigoted shit and like. collecting squishmallows or using emojis to communicate. like those things are harmless and allistic ppl are too comfortable demonizing “weird” but otherwise harmless behavior in autistic ppl for no reason.

I agree but I think mainly the people calling out the ways that (primarily white) autistic people weaponize their traits and interests and the people demonizing "embarrassing" autistic traits and disability aids are different groups of people with two different goals.

First group is mainly marginalized nd and autistic people victimized by the behaviors called out and the other is a mix of allistic ableists, autistic people who have decided to make their internalized ableism every one else's problem, and clowns in bad faith discourse circles who have run out of things to put on the latest callout post against florpio from their discord server for being mildly annoying.

The former group is more diverse and so the discussions go a lot of different places, most good some ineffective or distracting, but should generally be encouraged. The autistic community specifically still has a huge bigotry problem, with many of the popularized autistic people online and irl being white, able bodied, normal to high empathy, fully or mostly speaking, and free of any unpalatable traits and any political opinions that bother allistics such as aspirations to fight structural ableism etc. Even I don't fully consider myself apart of the community anymore simply because I've been pushed away so much just for being plural and having more stigmatized disorders and I know online I still generally fall into a privileged position of being able to mask the things that make me marginalized. So there's a lot of criticism that needs to be done and it definitely doesn't start and end with special interests.

The latter group I'm afraid we simply cannot get through to. Their goal is to push us down and intimidate us, there will always be something with them that makes us all toxic, embarrassing, unworthy etc. They know what they're doing is bad, they know what they harass people over is truly harmless, that's the entire point. They are metaphorically hammering us back into our place (masking our traits and completely silent about autistic specific activism or anything that would anger allistic people). Debating them doesn't work the only effective things I've seen are 1. Ignore them completely and 2. Mock and discredit them the same way many of them do to us. (Have y'all noticed a decrease in certain brands of ableism online lately since people started parodying empaths and making them all look pathetic? Tiktokers did more damage to that hate group with their satire posts that got read as genuine than any PSA about why people with low empathy deserve respect ever could)

But yeah like it's not the same discussion and I still think we need more criticism of behaviors normalized by the autistic community (from the former group which is almost entirely autistic as well) not less if that makes sense?

#ask to tag

[edwardsvirginity]

I have no issue with people choosing to pirate or donate instad of buying the book, but there are certain people, where it comes off as so disingenuous, and i just ask myself, if they hate smeyer and her visiona and interpreation so much why don't they just.. not read the book. If people donate thats amazing but it's so easy to tell, the ones who are only promoting donations out of guilt and shame that they like the series, rather than genuinly caring for the struggles of indigenous peoples.

 (cont.) and as a poc myself, i get first hand the struggles and the criticism twilight faces, and i think its important to acknowledge what the writer does wrong and how they misrepresent the series, but that doesn't mean if you like the book, then your evil and racist f you don't double that in donations. I can buy the book and critisize it at the same time.

Yeah, I think that when things like this happen, there’s always going to be some level of performativity to the response. I know lots of people genuinely care about supporting indigenous causes, but I also think that “smeyer is evil, support indigenous causes instead” is The Popular Narrative, and while it’s a much better popular narrative than say “smeyer is a genius and twilight is perfect”, the fact that it’s The Fandom Stance means there are always going to be people who feel conflicted about it but feel obligated to endorse it anyway. I think allowing yourself to like something that’s “problematic” without berating yourself for liking something “problematic” is a hard skill to learn. Lots of people are still working on it. And it’s especially hard when so much online discourse promotes the narrative “liking something bad makes you a bad person”. But that’s not true-- it’s ok to enjoy something with flaws, so long as you acknowledge those flaws, respect ppl who don’t want to engage with the thing because of those flaws, and don’t allow yourself to mimic the toxic behaviors in canon. 

Twilight fandom: you don’t need to “make up for” being excited about midnight sun. If you genuinely don’t want to give smeyer your money, and you genuinely do want to help the indigenous people she harmed, and you have the money to do so, please consider donating to the quileute’s Move to Higher Ground. However, liking midnight sun doesn’t make you A Bad Person, and you don’t need to pay penance in order to Make Up For This Sin. Of course it’s important to acknowledge the ways smeyer has messed up/promoted toxic ideas and hold her accountable for that, but as long as you do that, you don’t need to Punish yourself for liking canon. The whole point of the twilight renaissance is letting go of the shame and guilt we experienced a decade ago because twilight was “bad” (but for different reasons!) Also, please don’t promote causes you don’t genuinely believe in in order to get Good Person Points-- it’s uncomfortable for everyone. However, if you know you should promote indigenous rights, but don’t actually feel all that invested/concerned, I would encourage you to learn more about different indigenous histories. I’ll admit I’m a bit lost on resources for this (aside from “google it” and “read the first few chapters of A People’s History of the United States with a box of tissues”) but if any followers have any suggestions for things that helped them connect with the indigenous struggle (please put a pause on the I Didn’t Need Empathy Aids Because Indigenous People Are People comments-- we know, but unlearning racism and white supremacist ideology is a Process, and it’s ok if some people need extra help so long as they’re willing to do the work) please add them to this post!! 

#asks #anon #i'm deeply uninterested in aggressive discourse so ideally this will not spark any #i know it's a complicated subject #but i think anon is right abt ppl performing sj sentiments for fandom points #and it's uncomfy #and i just want ppl to be honest with themselves and others #and if they're not actually genuinely connecting with the popular fandom sentiments #then it's better if they just... do the work to better connect #Anonymous