#you'd think out of a family of allistics

[hello-nichya-here]

Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

#asks #sia #ableism #autism speaks #actually autistic #aba therapy

[belphegorbillickin]

Autistic MC with Beel & Belphie

(CW!:) Belphie is selfish and manipulative as always, it's not really a healthy relationship even if it's a loving one. Stop reading at "He's the voice" to avoid it, though Beelzebub is also there to balance it out.

The same disclaimer for the previous set of autistic MC HCs applies.

This is not a even a remotely good indicator for self-suspecting autism and plenty of these things could easily be relatable to allistics, even the most mentally healthy neurotypicals.

So of course everyone is free to enjoy and relate to it! ^_^

Beelzebub:

Get ready for the best damn hugs of your life! Whatever way you want to be hugged, Beelzebub will deliver, anytime and anywhere.  Well, unless you want to be bigger or even just the same size as the person hugging you, but Beel's devoted enough to try to find a way to shrink for a bit if that's what you really want. Plus, think about how much bigger food would be in comparison!

Speaking of food, if there's any kind of texture you don't want to eat, or any other restrictions of course, Beel is more than happy to do it for you. He'll even pretend to steal it off your plate and let himself get lectured for it if you're in a situation where someone is trying to force you to eat something. Though he does try to make sure you're getting enough nutrition himself.

Beelzebub will always ensure you have something you can eat to the best of his abilities. He wouldn't mind ordering takeout or picking something up together afterward at all. Hell, you'd probably catch him trying to go out during a massive storm for one of your snacks. He always tries to have your favorite foods on hand just in case, even if it means constantly having to replace them because he can't resist the idea of sharing something you love. Beel also understands that all of smacking and chewing can be sensory hell even for "normal people," so he'll always give you a head's up before eating so you can put your headphones on and try to eat before hanging out with you if he can. Belphie will also happily give you the food off of his plate any time you want it, but he does the same for Beelzebub and is a bit of a picky eater with a low appetite himself, so do make sure he's eating enough when Beel is distracted.

He's also a great cook and a very patient teacher that'll eat any and all failed attempts, so he'd be more than happy to try to help you improve your cooking skills if that's something you struggle with. Beel's definitely the kinda guy that'd put all the knives out of reach if you really struggle with your motor skills though, and would only let you start peeling/chopping with safety gloves on. He doesn't mind taking on all the steps that give you a lot of trouble either. Even just staying with him as he cooks, keeping him distracted, and reminding him that he can't eat it all is more than enough to keep him happy.

Beelzebub is very intrigued by the concept of chew necklaces if you use them. He may or may not have tried one of yours he saw lying around. …It didn't end well. He basically impaled it on his massive teeth on the first gentle bite. It didn't even taste like anything either. He really can't see the appeal of it at all… You'll have to explain to him that it's just for the feeling of chewing, not actually eating, to help keep you from biting things you shouldn't. When you put it that way, he really sympathizes. Beelzebub actually thinks it's really cute that you kind of have something in common like that. Needless to say, he definitely fights for your right to keep it on you when you need it.

And if anyone has a problem with you or your needs? They have a problem with Beelzebub, and anyone who has a problem with Beelzebub has a problem with his brothers. Beelzebub's been the glue holding the family together for centuries and he'll gladly be the glue holding you together if you'd let him. He's incredibly patient with stuttering and does his best to protect MC from their harmful stims. He'll actively encourage, or rather almost force you, to take it out on him instead. Go on, don't worry, you'll break your own bones before you give him so much as a tiny scratch or a bruise.

Beelzebub is very empathetic when it comes to the people he cares about, and the most emotionally intelligent brother by far. He'd prefer for you to come and try to communicate with him when you're feeling down or overwhelmed before it becomes a big deal and would try to encourage you to do so, but he's always keeping an eye out and ready to intervene. If you're the kind of person that shuts down and needs to be left alone? He'll immediately put Belphie into a headlock, prying him and anyone else away if need be. He'd do his best to help encourage healthy habits and slow but steady growth, not allowing anyone to shove you into something you're not ready for, even if that day may never come. He's also very much able to sympathize with feeling "worthless" due to not being able to do as much as other people and feeling "slow," and does his best to try to keep you from feeling the same way.

Beel's also a great listener and almost always happy to just hang out, regardless of whatever it is y'all are doing together, so he's by far the best one to go to when no one else shares your interests. Feel free to chatter on about it on his back while he does his push-ups or while y'all are doing chores together and he'll surprise you with how much of it he retains and tries to bond with you over. He'd love for you to at least come to his most important games and would try to make it as accessible as possible, but he understands that it's not always enough. Do be sure to support him in your own way though, he'd very much appreciate it! 

Belphegor:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you have Belphie? Probably most people tbh, considering blankets don't have horns or thorny tails and don't actively resist being moved around or, god forbid, being left behind. Belphie's extremely clingy and tactile by nature when he likes someone, and he doesn't handle rejection very well. Which is definitely something that's an issue when you have sensory issues and can't stand the feeling of someone's hair or breath on you, or even any kind of touch at all (even through thick clothes and blankets) most of the time.

At least he can always guarantee a good night's sleep regardless of any noises, stressors, or changes in routine; so long as you trust enough to let him use his powers on you anyway. He promises getting addicted to his magic is mostly harmless, as long as you always keep him around and never ever sleep without him again. He'll let you come running any time you need his soothing voice and powers to help calm yourself down, actively encourages you to let him free you from your physical prison as often as you'd like.

But feel free to be as blunt about your boundaries as you need to be. It's pretty much the only way he'll listen, and he's fairly used to it after spending an eternity with Beelzebub anyway. He'll learn to adapt to your limits so long as they apply to everyone.  While Belphegor may not be anywhere near as kind or empathetic as Beel is, he's still very devoted to the very few people he chooses to let in and catches on quickly. He will listen if you tell him if you need to be left alone in complete and utter silence when you start getting overstimulated, though he'll also say it doesn't count if he's just passed out in the corner (even though it very much does) at first. You don't have to worry about softening up your sentences and micromanaging your tone with either of the twins really, they're both the "actions over words" type and won't overthink it unless you are the kind of person to be passive-aggressive. Even then, he can when you're just being blunt vs intentionally hurtful, though he'll definitely use it to his advantage against his "rivals." Belphegor would probably (playfully) give you some shit for it at first, but he's just being a dick, as is his nature, and will drop it the second he notices it hurts you, (if it would), once you two become close.

Similar to Satan, Belphie also automatically explains anything he knows you won't/didn't get, though only if he feels like it's necessary and in a much more arrogant manner by default. He's actually not being condescending on purpose for once, it just comes so naturally to him that he doesn't always know how to explain things and he's already used to doing most of the critical thinking for Beelzebub. God forbid anyone else talks down to you though, he's just as protective of you as he is of Beelzebub, if not more so.  He has his blind spots, but he won't force you into anything that would cause real distress and will intervene if someone else does. Especially if that someone is Lucifer or Diavolo.

Belphie's still his lazy, bratty self, but he does put more effort into maintaining his schedule if he knows it really stresses you out, and he'll gladly take the blame for "forcing" you to sleep through any and all events you'd hate to sit through. He's the voice that's always telling you that it's okay to not even try, that it'll never be anything but stressful no matter how hard you try and that's okay to just let it go. To just let him handle everything and try to relax. "Why bother trying to explain your issues to someone who will always see it as an excuse?" and etc. It's done with mostly good intentions, as good as a demon could ever have anyway, but he is very much an enabler of the worst kind, similar to Leviathan, and could easily create a very codependent relationship where you slowly start to lose your skills and built-up tolerance until you're left more disabled than you were before. 

It's actually one of the only things the twins ever seriously fight over, as Beelzebub disagrees with his approach and knows he's just making things harder for you in the end. He's very much of the belief that loving someone means helping them become their best, most healthiest self whereas Belphie believes there's no harm in letting you become as dependent on them as possible, because they'll always be there to help you. Beelzebub still believes a bit of suffering is healthy and necessary to improve regardless, and Belphegor still believes you should be able to avoid anything that makes you even slightly uncomfortable (unless he's really set on something) even if it makes it harder to cope in the end, regardless of how many times they argue. In the end, whether or not you fall to temptation completely is your choice, even if Belphegor will do his best to convince you he knows what's best for you.

I had wanted to get this out for their birthday, but Belphie is such an ass & I know this kind of HC doesn't actually make me feel reassured unless the characters are actually in-character, but I know it's the exact opposite for what seems like most(?) people & I didn't want to advertise comfort just for it to upset everyone, but… : / I can't write pure fluff with anyone but Beelzebub anyway tbh, and it's a bit of a struggle even then. Ngl, Beelzebub, Satan, and maybe Mammon depending on the MC (if they only date him) are probably the only ones any MC could realistically ever have a halfway healthy relationship with imo. (And I'm purposely excluding Simeon and Solomon from this list.)

#obey me beelzebub #belphegor x reader #obey me belphegor #beelzebub x reader #autistic reader #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me #x reader

[jennwritespokemon]

Sexuality/Gender Headcannons for Pokemon Shield Characters:

*This kind of devolves into some ships I like towards the Leon/Raihan section, so let me know if you'd like to see some specific content for them.

*I'd love to hear your theories/headcannons in reblogs or the comments!

Gym Leaders

Milo

Has only ever dated women, but would be open to dating men

Homoflexible or Pansexual mayhaps?

Once someone explained what Demisexual means he realized that it clicked with him

He/Him pronouns

Does his best to remember people's pronouns

Occasionally wears a He/Him pronoun pin that Kabu got him

(probably wrote a list somewhere so he wouldn't forget)

Profusely apologizes if he gets them wrong (not in a fake ally kind of way)

Nessa

She gives me mean bisexual vibes and I won't be elaborating as to why

(It's probably because she could step on me and I'd thank her BUT I DIGRESS ANYWAY)

She/Her?

Doesn't mind They/Them but she doesn't hear them much so she doesn't think about it

Bisexual w/a preference for women

Will scream at someone who misgenders her friends/partner

Kabu

Straight

He/Him

ONE OF THE FIERCEST ALLIES YOU WILL EVER MEET

Would start an organization among the gym leaders to encourage conversations about gender/sexuality in a safe space

Encourages his gym trainers to wear pronoun pins, and wears a He/Him pronoun pin everywhere

He's the guy at pride wearing a "Free Dad Hugs" tshirt

(He cried when he got the shirt as a gift from one of the other gym trainers he works with)

Will put time and effort into researching the different genders/sexualities that exist now to make sure he's up to date

(Like Milo) also has a list of people's pronouns so he wouldn't forget

Allister

*I won't be going too far into this since he's a child but I still wanted to include him

They/He

Some flavor of nonbinary, I think.

Asexual/Aromantic?

Bede

He/They

You're going to look me in the eye and tell me that man is straight? Absolutely not.

Some sorta gay.

*My friend had a headcannon that he's asexual/Aromantic, and he convinced himself that he's so superior to everyone else and thats why he's not attracted to people.

Melony

Used to be casually homophobic, but is working on being a better ally once she learned more about the LGBTQ+ community

She/Her

At some point realizes that she's always liked women, and just has never explored the concept

Kinda has a "What do you mean not everyone daydreamed about kissing girls as a kid?" Moment.

Eventually comes out as bisexual

Piers

He/They, wants to look more into neopronouns to see if they fit

Demisexual and Panromantic

Doesn't really put a label on his romantic attraction, but uses Panromantic if someone asks

A very easy person to come out to, and is extremely supportive

Performs at Pride every year, without fail

(Probably hosts a smaller pride event for Spikemuth w/Marnie every year too)

Has a pronoun pin on his jacket

Pretty good at remembering pronouns, and will correct someone if needed

Will beat the piss out of someone who's being a homophobe/transphobe without a second thought (and has done so multiple times)

Marnie

She/They

Lesbian & Demisexual

Piers got her a pronoun pin & a lesbian pride pin that she wears on her jacket

(Will also beat the shit out of a homophobe/transphobe if they're bothering her or her partner)

Raihan

He/Him

He gives me bi man whore vibes

Like, give him a drop of alcohol and he'll flirt with anything with a pulse good God

He definately has gotten hit on by so many people that he thought, "Hmm, this increases my odds of getting laid. Why not?" Ya know?

Definately has flirted w/Leon and claims he was joking at the time.

Spoiler alert: He wasn't joking

He goes all out for pride in terms of his outfit, and will post about it on social media

Avery

He/They for the most part

Definately nonbinary to some degree, maybe genderfluid?

Panromantic Asexual...?

His time at the dojo gave him time away from his family to learn more about himself and who he wants to be; Not who his family wants him to be.

Mans is literally decked out in rainbows on a daily basis; C'mon now.

A concept I thought of:

Some Rando: Whats your gender?

Avery: I don't have one.

Rando: Gender is whats in your pants.

Avery: MY GENDER IS ELEGANCE BITCH-

Other Main Characters

Hop

He/Him pronouns

(I've seen some people headcannon him as a Trans man, which isn't something I've thought about but I could see it tbh)

(Similar to Milo) Has only ever dated women, but is open to the idea of dating men if the opportunity presented itself.

I think he just loves people as they are, so gender wouldn't matter too much to him

Panromantic demisexual

Helps Kabu run a pride organization, and keeps him updated on what's going on in the LGBT+ community

Leon

He/Him pronouns

Thinks he's straight for a long time

Mostly because of his job as champion, he never really had the time to do a deep dive into his sexuality. He also didn't want to think otherwise out of fear that it would ruin his reputation.

He gets a lil too tipsy one night w/Raihan and starts seeing him in a different light for the first time.

(Well, the first time that he's willing to admit to.)

Like, damn. Has his eyes always been that bright? Or has his smile always made Leon's heart beat out of his chest? What the hell is going on?

Turns out he'd been thinking out loud, and Raihan explained to him that he might be bisexual or pansexual. (While also jokingly saying something like, "How could you not be attracted to me.")

This took a huge weight off Leon's chest and helped him be more comfortable exploring his sexuality

Later figures out that he identifies as bi

Hop is the first person he comes out to officially (and they both cry.... a lot.)

Sonia

She/Her

Bi

(She figured out she was bi when she was a younger teenager)

(That may or may not have been when she realized that she was VERYYY gay for Nessa)

#swsh #pokemon piers #lgbtq #gym leader raihan #piers pokemon #marnie pokemon #pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #pokemon bede #pokemon hop #professor sonia #sonia pokemon #nessa pokemon #kabu pokemon #milo pokemon #wlw #allister pokemon #raihan pokemon #leon pokemon #champion leon

[invictarre-archive]

@ghxsthide asked: describe me 🥺? / description meme

Family movie night had gone about as well as you'd expected.

Purrloin and Amias had gotten into a scrap fighting over the curried bones they'd managed to snatch out of the kitchen bin. Your dad'd dragged them apart and thrown away the bones once more (having to pry away the ones clutched tightly between fangs and claws), and dropped the two felines on opposite ends of the room to cool off.

Hop's Cramorant had gone around the house trying to swallow down everything it could find, from the TV remote to your caps to your grandfather's favourite potted plant. A right menace, it was, and you thanked your lucky stars that all the smaller pokemon of the household managed to stay out of its gullet.

Allister's Haunter had tipped popcorn over the settee and vanished with the bowl, only to reappear a few minutes later wearing it as a hat. You'd resigned yourselves to using paper plates for the rest of the night - Eevee ones, probably a leftover from an old birthday party - and pretended not to notice when Boonadette spirited a few of them away.

It had been chaotic, to say the least, and you're sure the movie marathon went largely ignored in favour of the antics happening off the screen, but it'd been nice to see the house so full of laughter. It'd been ages since you'd all found the time to get together like this, what with Hop's new research career, Allister's Gym obligations, Dad's Almia work, your own packed schedule... You were a hive of busy, busy Combees! Free days were few and far between, ones that all lined up even more so, but you'd made sure to treasure every moment of this rare occurrence.

You'd given and received more hugs than you could count, shared past memories and future ambitions, and watched as each member of the family slowly retired to their bedrooms with soft, loving smiles on their faces.

And now, here you are. Laying out on the floor in the middle of your living room, your back against Charizard's side, surrounded by food wrappers, and crumbs crushed into the carpet, and DVD disks that had, somehow, managed to escape from their cases. Mum'll go spare when she finds this mess in the morning.

But for now there's peace.

Hop's head rests on your shoulder, snuggling Dubwool against his chest like an oversized plush toy, and Allister lays curled against your other side with one hand clinging tight to the neckline of your shirt. He's been wearing his mask less while at home, an observation that makes something tender melt in your chest, and a quick recall of the night reveals you'd last seen it held in the careful hands of Duksnoir. That's alright, then. They'll keep it safe.

Now that you're left with nothing but the night's silence and your brothers' slow, rhythmic breathing fanning against your skin, you can't help but notice just how tiny they feel in your arms; fragile like the children they are. You can't stop yourself from drawing them that little bit closer. They can't stop themselves from responding, seeking out your company even in their sleep.

Allister grips your shirt tighter, face scrunching up into a frown as he mumbles what you think is a slurred attempt at your name. You scoop him up easily, adjusting your arm until he's resting comfortably with his head tucked under your jaw. It's not the most comfortable position for you, and you're sure you'll wake up in the morning with pins and needles, but it's a small sacrifice to make. He feels even smaller like this, looking every bit the lonely child deprived of a family for far too long.

You'd noticed how he was... hesitant, at first. Overjoyed by the news of his adoption made official, of course, but not yet fully comfortable around your family. He was good at hiding it, you'll give him that, but there were some things that would be more suited to a job interview than a casual day in Postwick. It was like he thought he had something to prove. He'd been nervous to voice opinions first, always preferring to have someone else's to base his off of. He'd never proposed plans, usually going along with whatever you suggested, instead.

You wonder how much of that was Rose's influence, holding his Gym Leader position over his head and implying (threatening) that it could always be taken away should he prove to be a difficult (to control) employee.

You're pleased to see he's dropped that, now. He talks for longer, especially when the topic of his beloved Ghost types is brought up, and he's quicker to ask questions or elaborate on someone else's point. The pranks and scares come far more frequently, barely a week able to pass without someone falling victim, and even the glow of his eyes seems to be... stronger, somehow. Brighter.

You're glad he's happy.

#☆;; answered #☆;; in character #☆;; dyn. allister / ghxsthide

[askanautistic]

My family and I keep getting into fights and they always say I'm the one who started it (post fight), but I always feel like it's them, I get that it's probably me somehow, it's 3 vs 1, it's more likely they're right, but whenever I ask what I did wrong so I can fix it, they tell me I didn't do anything wrong, that shouldn't be bringing it up because it's done and over with, and that I trying to play victim, how do I go about figuring out what I'm doing wrong without asking directly?

I'd suggest that you try to ask someone when they're alone, so that they can't gang up on you. State very clearly that you've noticed this is a common occurrence (that fights break out and that everyone agrees it's because of you) and that you'd like for them to be clear about how you caused the fight so that you can try to prevent it from happening in future. To be honest, I've sometimes found that in order to get answers or to get justice, I've had to cause another fight! By being very stubborn in wanting to know what the problem is, or expressing that I think something is unfair. Sometimes people do listen when you are more forceful about making sure they realise that you want to get to the truth of the matter, or want your side of things to be heard. Or you could try to get an outside perspective. Run the events by a non-biased person in as much detail as you can remember, in hopes that they'll recognise what the issue was and will be able to explain it to you. But if in the heat of the moment they blame you, then later on say that you didn't do anything wrong, perhaps it's more that they recognise you aren't actually doing anything... Perhaps it's your family finding it much easier (in the heat of the moment) to all blame you for it, especially if you are autistic and they aren't (it might be easier to blame it on the non-typical communication - if everyone else communicates neurotypically/allistically, then it's much easier to assume or assign blame towards the person who communicates differently to the majority, regardless of whether it's actually true that their communication was the problem). Later when they realise it's not fair to blame you, and that trying to isolate the specific behaviours that caused the problem (in their eyes) would just be picking on your autisticness, perhaps they backtrack and decide all should be forgotten. There often is a scapegoat for family issues. This can be the ND person, or it can be an age or gender thing. It's easier to blame the youngest person because they're less experienced/powerful, or the oldest sibling (because they are seen as responsible for the younger siblings), or the teenager (because teens are viewed as grumpy and argumentative), or the daughter instead of the son (because of gender expectations). Or it can be another member of the family being viewed as more difficult and it being best to appease them/ignore their behaviour. Sometimes it's easier to blame the person who's less likely to kick off or cause a problem, and allow the problematic person to get away with it. I've seen it in multiple families where everyone else tiptoes around a specific person, allows them to say and do as they please and get away with it, and then it any arguments stem from that person's behaviour it gets blamed on the person who wouldn't just let them have their own way (they can prod and prod all they like, and everyone is expected to just grin and bear it... so the person who reacts gets blamed for the argument).

Tip jar

#family issues #arguments

[rainey-staerie-daize]

Typing this here because I don't think any of my family cares to hear about this right now (as always).

So, we had plans to test-drive the Mazda 5 my mom just got, but I thought it was too late today, so I take off my shirt in preparation for bed. Not ten minutes later (at least it feels like it), Mom says we're out the door in five. People started getting a bit pissy with me, since I wasn't ready and I got stuck in my bra for a few minutes. Did I put on weight? Anyway, I'm also not used to my shoes anymore, and people usually sit in my seat in the car, so I wasn't entirely thrilled.

As we were leaving the neighborhood, I saw fireworks for some bizarre reason, and shouted, "KORE WA NAN-DES-KA?!" I was proud, because I've been learning Japanese through Duolingo and Memrise, and that's a full sentence, but my mom got mad, because I'm not a quiet person, and she said I could cause her to crash the car. Skye looked annoyed as well, although by my excalmation or Mom ranting, I don't know. Then, Skye and Mom started talking about something (I forget what, and so does Skye, but I think they were talking about something I was jealous of) and I got hit by a sudden wave of sadness. So, the night's been ruined so far. My eyes were almost about to tear up like earlier, although I would know the reason this time. Stared out the windshield and focused on my breathing, but then the car jerked, and messed that up.

"Hey [Raine], what milkshake do you want?"

My brain froze because I'm trying to breathe, but they kept asking. Did they even notice I wasn't all the way mentally there? Picked chocolate, kinda wish I got strawberry. Was good, but there was no cherry. I got the one with the good whipped cream for a photo opportunity.

The whole reason we left the house was to get milkshakes and see the strip with half its lights out, so that's what we did.

"Hey, you're gonna see how I get the work!"

... but Mom has forgotten how to get to her job. We turned down a wrong street, and ended up in the middle of a BLM protest. Joined in from our car, got video. It was pretty neat. One guy was handing out bottled water from the back of a truck, yeeting it at one point. Many people on bikes, and we found the source of the fireworks. Got some meme-worthy video, and some good pics. Rolled the windows down and stuck out our fists in solidarity.

Saw a lot of lights, but not as much as we would've. On the bright side, it was more sensory-friendly that way.

Went and took pics with the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign, and mom made us all use hand sanitizer even though I'm pretty sure none of us touched anything. I sometimes lick my fingers, so I was not pleased. Also not pleased with my mom's backpack rubbing against my leg when she went to get it and put it back on the floorboards, and the fact that the walk to and from the sign made me sweaty. I forgot deodorant.

Went home on the freeway, flipped off the Trump Tower, and got some more pics and video of our shenanigans. Missed recording when I saw the "road work ahead" sign tho. All three of us older kids quoted the vine in sync.

Saw a ton of police cars on the freeway, and Mom taunted a guy into racing by revving the engine. He sped off, and she said, "enjoy the ticket!"

Mom also said that was her second protest, and Skye and Bry won't stop making jokes about how joining a protest feels like it happened today.

Very annoyed and moody as soon as I got home, since they keep making that same joke and I'm busy typing my journal entry for the day and making sure my pajama pants didn't get anything on them. It's been harder to listen to people talking while I'm trying to focus on something the past year or two, and it results in me being cranky as fuck. And anytime I try to explain my feelings, like a good little autistic who actually learned shit in speech therapy, it usually results in my mom ranting about me, or all of us, being disrespectful and, "this is why we don't go anywhere."

Now that I'm done typing, I think I'll try to calm down a bit and rejoin my family. I'm in the kitchen, but I've been giving everyone the cold shoulder as I type. It might not go well, since I'm not a quiet person and the littles need to go to sleep. I would've been asleep myself by now, except we did all this tonight.

#raine's daize #you'd think out of a family of allistics #I'd be the worst at noticing body language and social cues #but no #fuck Trump #my first protest