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#zerobaseone crack
aswaki · 2 months
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big mts [smt x reader]
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seok matthew x reader | 1.5k word count | crack
“hanbin sets you up with his friend, ‘big mts’”
contains: short!reader, no gendered terms for reader, suggestive tone (at the end), cursing, blind date theme, family friend!hanbin, mention of choking, brief appearance of jiwoong
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“sung hanbin, i am not going out with a guy called ‘big mts’,”
you gave the raven haired man in front of you a deadpan look. his phone was in your hand, a text notification displayed on the screen. it said, “i’m almost there!” and the sender’s name was indeed ‘big mts’.
okay— sung hanbin was a thoughtful person. you had never doubted that. not when he listened to your rants about how stagnant your life was on top of every other bullshit you’ve thrown his way. he made it his mission to be your guardian angel even when you didn’t ask him too. just like how he sent you to a string of blind dates.
it began when you were talking about how there was nothing exciting happening to you for the nth time. you had been so passionate in your rant; your face was flushed. your hands were moving as you talked. hanbin had been moved but jiwoong, who sitting beside him, was the opposite. he simply looked so done.
“you know what you need? you need to get fucked.” jiwoong had declared as he leaned forward. he put his hand on top of yours. a faux serious expression was painted on his features. you stopped ranting, obviously shocked at his words.
“hey!” hanbin slapped jiwoong’s arm. they did a slight stare off while you simply giggled at their antics.
“but you know… he’s not wrong. maybe you need to meet more people! not the fucking. do not listen to jiwoong. you don’t need to be fucking everyone.” his brotherly instincts coming out. his voice was almost far away. hanbin looked at you, deep in thought. you could almost see the gears working in his brain.
that was one random day a few months ago and then the rest was history. it led you to a series of hang outs and dates. you didn’t know hanbin knew that many people. most of these meet ups didn’t end well. you wondered if hanbin just had an ad of you on craigslist (especially with a date with that one person who you were sure you saw getting dogpiled on twitter before).
so it led you to today. earlier, you were over at hanbin’s apartment unit which was a few doors down from yours. you went there under the pretense of hanging out with him. when he opened the door at you, he merely declared, “you look terrible. go change.”
he pushed you out and led you back to your unit. you look down at your sweats. is it not acceptable to be in comfortable clothes on chill days? you opened your mouth to protest but he beat you to it, “you are going on a date!”
“not again!” you screamed.
you removed yourself from his hold and ran to your door. you were not going to lose a couple precious hours of your friday to go with a possible insufferable person you just met.
you felt victorious escaping hanbin. you sighed in relief as you put the key in your doorknob. the door opened with ease but before you could close it on hanbin, he caught up with you. he easily slid right in. oh, curse his long legs. you could only glare at him. the universe was unfair for giving him tall genes but skipped it on you.
hanbin called you by your full name and said, “you are going to change and go on this date. don’t you disappoint me.”
“do i have too? you know what happened the previous times. just give up.” you whined at him. seriously, you were convinced he was bored too, that's why he was trying to play cupid.
“go. change.” he told you as he placed his hand on your shoulders and directed you to your room. the both of you were really close, almost like siblings. you tried to be childish and put all your weight on your feet to stop you from moving. your attempts only failed.
“i swear, this time is different! he’s my friend. he’s really nice and adorable. you’d love him. he just came back from canada. that should be interesting enough for you. go talk about maple syrup or something.” you turned around and gave him a blank stare. 
“okay, maybe not maple syrup,” he backtracked, “but please, please. i showed my friend your photo already. he thought you were cute! if this doesn’t work out, i’ll lay off but he’s already on his way so you need to change!”
your eyes widened. this person thought you were cute? and already on his way? jesus, hanbin knew how to get you working. this person could be a freak but he did say you were cute. you knew hanbin could also be pulling things out his ass but hey, flattery works.
“fine. this is the last one.” you gave in. hanbin nodded excitedly. you went to your room to quickly change your outfit and prepare yourself. you wanted to exceed expectations. this was hanbin’s mysterious friend. you can’t afford to look stupid. plus, given the previous statistics, this could mean this would be your last blind date for a while. you weren’t hoping this would be it. you just wanted to get this over with. you didn’t think it was bad wanting to look good to celebrate the end of hanbin’s crazy project. an end of an era.
you looked at the mirror satisfied with your look. when you stepped out of your bedroom, hanbin wasn’t in your living room. his phone, however, was. it lit up signaling a message came in. you picked it up, scoffing at what you saw. he texted he was close by already but what got to you was the bold letters, ‘big mts’ that flashed on the screen above his message. you thought it sounded obnoxious. you didn’t want to be with someone obnoxious, even for a brief moment.
hanbin came out of the bathroom. before he could express approval at your outfit, you marched over at him and shoved his phone to his face. “wha-”
“sung hanbin, i am not going out with a guy called ‘big mts’. i draw the line here.”
he merely laughed at your words and at the look you sent his way. he knew you were going to give him another one of your rants.
you wiggled the phone in front of his face then you sucked in a deep breath before yapping, “he sounds repulsive. how could you be friends with him? what kind of nickname is that? who calls himself that? do you really want to send poor little me with a person who seems to be as ridiculous and egotistical as ‘big mts’? nevermind that he called me cute. are you even listening? stop laughing. i will call your mom.”
like a spirit drawn to the pleas of mortals, the doorbell rang interrupting your spiel. you sighed in defeat knowing ‘big mts’ is here. hanbin turned to walk over to your front door. you followed close behind him.
“seriously, hanbin, can’t we just ignore him? what kind of name is ‘big mts’?” you huffed as the doorbell rang again.
“you’ll see,” he cryptically replied. hanbin opened the door. he greeted his friend enthusiastically— “matthew!” —they hugged each other. when they pulled away from the hug, hanbin revealed someone who was not as repulsive as you thought.
you wish you could eat your words.
standing right there by your door was a man. he had a well bulked up build. a silver chain adorned his neck. his biceps were exposed by his sleeveless top. his chest stretching his shirt out. thoughts were racing in your head and none of them were pg rated. it wasn't your fault he had a very big... heart. you could only hope you didn’t look pathetic right now checking him out. you understood why he was ‘big mts’. you could see it with your own eyes. you wondered what else is big...
hanbin stifled a chuckle as he nudged you. well, shit, you probably did look pathetic right now.
“hi i’m matthew.” he said, looking at you with an amused smile. his adorable smile was a stark contrast to his body. holy fuck, you felt so shallow right now.
you looked down as he extended his hand at you. even his hands looked good. it would've looked even better if it was around your neck. (but what would be best if it was his biceps choking you.)
ah, you were about to cry. you were the freak, not him.
you grabbed his hand and shook it with no hesitation. you enjoyed his warm smooth skin. “you ready to go?” he asked after you shook hands.
“yes! i am! let’s go!” you replied with much eagerness that surprised all three of you. matthew nodded a goodbye to hanbin.
“jiwoong’s right,” you muttered to hanbin as you gave him a hug of thanks and farewell. hallelujah to the caring, determined (and nosy) sung hanbin for introducing you to his friend.
you gave a matthew a brief look, eyes moving over his handsome face and mouthwatering form, before whispering again to hanbin, “oh, i’m so going to fuck him.”
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a/n: tgif! here's a silly little fic as dialogue practice because i truly feel my forte isn't with dialogues. i was actually writing another fic during my break earlier but then i decided to do this. when i remembered hanbin has matthew saved as big mts on his phone, it went downhill from that. i also didn't plan on posting this because i only wanted to put all my smut brainrot in this blog but then eh. sorry for my attempts at humour btw??? might do a part two if anyone wants???? smut???
divider credit: saradika-graphics
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junnieverse · 7 months
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— PING 💬 TEXTS WITH S. HANBIN !
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➙ random daily texts with your boyfriend hanbin
pairing: sung hanbin x gn!reader
genre: fluff, a little crack/humour
warnings: not proofread, reader jokingly hints to sharing hanbin with hao
a/n: haven't posted for jebewon in a minute, I miss them so much but I'm so excited for their upcoming album and have you guys seen how pretty their light stick/ring is??!
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thinking thots about exhibitionism with zb1 legal line ☹️☹️☹️ having them tied up as you touch yourself in front of them makes them go FERAL
okay so. i know you probably wanted a serious response but… i wrote you something a little funny instead bc i’m just in a funny mood. i’ll tackle it seriously another time, just remind me 😈💕🩷
warnings: suggestive/smut 18+ but nothing graphic, ^^prompt, gn!reader, healthy dose of crack ya know
☾⋆。° ✮₊ ⊹₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⋆。˚✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚☽
jiwoong is kicking himself for not lifting more weights at the gym:
⋆。°✩ “i need you, oh my— god, i didn’t think ribbon was this fucking strong”
⋆。°✩ “break the headboard, why don’t you? i’ll just tie you up to the mailbox instead so the neighbors have a better view of you being a little bitch”
hao is basically foaming at the mouth since he’s so used to getting what he wants and it makes him babble like an idiot:
⋆。°✩ “i can’t… i can’t… please baby, i can’t take it anymore. i’m gonna die, i think. it would be really awkward to explain to my parents if i died like this”
⋆。°✩ “you’re such a fucking drama queen; just enjoy the show. and also i would never tell your parents you died watching me touch myself wtf”
hanbin is enjoying the show a little too much for your liking (and he’s also tired, being a leader is hard):
⋆。°✩ “fuck, you’re so hot. i could cum just watching you. and i don’t even have to do any work! we should do this more often”
⋆。°✩ “what the actual fuck is that supposed to mean hanbin”
matthew is crying of course and he’s insisting he’s not crying because he’s canada oppa or whatever:
⋆。°✩ “i’m not crying. they’re NOT tears. no, it’s… it’s cum! you’re so hot that i’m cumming from my eyes watching you”
⋆。°✩ “okay that is a million times worse than you admitting that you’re crying”
taerae never misses an opportunity to give you attitude:
⋆。°✩ “fuck, tae— want your hands on me so bad”
⋆。°✩ “should’ve thought about that before you tied me up like a christmas ham”
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lovepookie · 3 months
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♡ zerobaseone hyung-line reaction to “pull up, i’m in a fight” texts!
♡ nano note: ty @rick-hee for the request!! this was by far my favorite to write because i think i just went crazy with the concept!💀 ty for all the support on these! enjoy! xoxo
♡ warnings: cursing, violence/aggresion, passive aggressive jokes, fighting mentioned, police mentioned, pet names, overall buffoonery, lmk if i need to add any!
read maknae line here.
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cinnajun · 9 months
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1's beige flags
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a/n: i tried to make these as beige as possible … cause sometimes people say “beige flag “ and it’s just a blatant green/red flag LOL hope u enjoy :)
notes: yujin is included this time, but it’s absolutely 100% platonic because i didn’t think this inherently implies romance. so his is PLATONIC!!!!! VERY PLATONIC!!!! also i plagiarized some of these from tiktok, will share links at the end :)
wc | 1.5k
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jiwoong’s beige flag is traveling with him. i feel like he travels like a father, so he’s waking you up at 2 in the morning for a flight that isn’t until 7 in the morning. he picks the cheaper parking lot that’s next to the airport and makes you take a shuttle when you could’ve just paid $3 extra to park in the airport parking lot. he goes to starbucks and only gets ice water so you can fill up your emptied bottles. he’s angry the entire time but he still manages to crack a terrible joke to the flight attendant. he panics while you wait for your bags at the baggage claim. he makes you wait in the huge line for the rental car shuttle (where you have to go through three rounds of it leaving and coming back before you can get on) rather than just getting an uber there “because it’s cheaper.” at least you arrive at your destination. godspeed soldier 🫡
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zhang hao’s beige flag is that there is always something wrong with him. this man has never been at 100% in his entire life. he always has a headache, or his stomach hurts, or he’s tired, or his arm hurts, or his back hurts…the list goes on. even if you’re carrying extra strength advil, antacid tablets, and one of those little tissue packs, when one issue is resolved, something else begins. the worst part is, when you think everything is fine, you’ll point it out like “oh! you’re not complaining about anything!” and then he’ll give you a look, saying “oh i have a headache right now.” once he felt like he had something in his eye for 3 days straight, but no amount of washing it out or eye drops got rid of the feeling. if he’s not ill or in pain, he’s asleep. you wonder how he got as far as he did when he’s never felt completely okay ever in his life.
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hanbin’s beige flag is that he’s entirely unaware when other people are flirting with him. he automatically assumes the best in everyone and he’s got tunnel vision for you, so the idea that anybody is flirting with him is outlandish. you could be standing right next to him, steam coming out of your ears while you force a smile, and he’ll be none the wiser as the person talking to him playfully punches him in the shoulder. on top of that, he’s even more shocked when you point it out to him—he’ll say, “babe, they were just being nice!” and then you have to explain that asking for his number so they can get to know him better is not just being nice. then he gets all offended when you call him dense as if he didn’t entirely miss the heart eyes he was just receiving.
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matthew’s beige flag is the fact that he does not question anything. you could tell him that you got a new job and he’d go “oh, cool!” and never ask what exactly it was. your parents once told him that you were a really awful child assuming he’d want to hear more, and he said “makes sense” and never brought it up again. it gets even worse when he tells you things about other people, and when you inquire, he can’t give you any more info. he’ll say “oh, they got cheated on” and you ask who and he has no clue. and it’s not even like he’s uninterested, he just doesn’t think to inquire about anything, even if he’s curious. the idea barely even occurs to him. he didn’t even know where his mom worked when you first started dating, and you asking during your first meeting was the entire reason he found out. you’re considering calling him and telling him that you’re going to prison or something just to see if he even asks why.
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taerae’s beige flag is that he cannot explain anything to you without giving you 5 minutes minimum of background information. sometimes it’s over the most mundane stuff too, like him searching for a specific item at the grocery store. he will explain how he had trouble parking before going in, and how he got distracted by the fruit section, and how he had to ask an attendant…all to let you know he didn’t find what he was looking for. once he spent 20 minutes explaining matthew’s life story to tell you a 2-minute long anecdote about how he ran away from a crab at the beach screaming. the worst part is that, whenever you’re on a long drive, he is telling you stories like this the entire time. but he gets mad at matthew every time he mentions the word “story” like YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE KIM TAERAE!!! 🙄
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ricky’s beige flag is that he cannot get dressed without your input. you would think this man was a 3-year-old who’d never picked out his own clothes in his life. if you’re not with him, he will facetime you, and if you don’t answer, he will not get dressed until you call him back. this might be endearing except for the fact that, if he doesn’t like your input, he will tell you to pick something else, and ricky can be picky with what he wears. when you ask him why he can’t just pick himself, he says something along the lines of “if you don’t think i look good, then what’s the point.” he has been late to hanging out with you because you didn’t wake up early enough for him to comfortably get ready (with you on the phone). if you spend the night, he will WAKE YOU UP solely so he can get dressed. at least people have said they think he’s started dressing better since you two started dating 😭
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gyuvin’s beige flag is the fact that he never hears anything you say. he isn’t ignoring you (although there was a period of time where you thought he was ignoring you), he literally just can’t hear you. one time you were hanging out, you fell in his backyard, and spent so long screaming his name that the neighbor came over and ring the doorbell to ask if you were all right. you have to repeat everything for him. sometimes you have to text him what you’re saying because he cannot decode it. the only time he can hear you without fail is when you’re on the phone. the worst part is that, after a while, he decided he was going to go to the doctor about it and they told him that he literally has trouble hearing the frequency of your voice, so it’s an unfixable issue. you’re stuck like this for the rest of time.
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gunwook’s beige flag is that everything you do has to be planned to a T. there is no spontaneity whatsoever when you hang out with gunwook. if you ask to hang out, his first response will be “to do what” and I Don’t Know is NOT an acceptable answer. it can be something as simple as “let’s watch a movie” or something as intricate as “let’s take the train to the beach and go searching for fun shells, and then we can take a scenic bike ride afterward,” there just has to be a plan. when gunwook makes plans for the both of you, he sends you a time-blocked itinerary and he will get a little upset if things go off schedule (but he won’t get angry and ruin things for you). he gets anxious when there’s not a set thing you’re supposed to be doing. at least his plans are always lots of fun!!!
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yujin’s beige flag is that he goes days without contacting anyone. he just falls off the face of the earth every 3-4 months for a few days and everyone freaks out in his wake. it starts with gyuvin calling you like “yujin DIED” and then you spend an hour and a half convincing him yujin isn’t dead. then another day without any proof that he’s alive passes and suddenly YOU’RE believing yujin is dead. then you call gunwook, who also hasn’t heard anything, and he calls ricky, who ALSO hasn’t heard anything, and suddenly there’s a groupchat where you’re discussing the likelihood that he’s gone forever. then he posts on instagram and pretends like nothing happened. he doesn’t understand why everyone’s so glad to see/hear from him, either. he even had hao worrying like yujin please don’t do this ever again 🙏
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thank you for reading !
tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck
tiktok links: zhang hao, matthew, taerae
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starrzhao · 1 year
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summer flame | k.gv ( masterlist )
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summary kim gyuvin. the one boy that somehow always gets on your nerves for the most ridiculous reasons. you couldn't stand being around him even if he was the last person on earth. But what happens when you're forced you to spend almost two weeks of your summer with the one person you despise the most?
pairing gyuvin x gn!reader
genre romance, fluff, crack, angst if you squint
word count to be added !
content/tags sfw, enemies? to lovers?, gyuvin’s a little silly boy WHISHSJS
warnings mentions of murder, kidnapping but it’s not serious nor is it part of the story, swearing, drinking, partying, tiny tiny suggestive part (seven minutes of heaven game) but only because of it’s premise lol
— prologue , part one , part two
just send an ask , if you’d like to be added to the taglist !
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purerehua · 8 months
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• puppy stranger
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pairing ⇆ kim gyuvin x reader genre ⇆ smau ; crack ; fluff ; romance ; meet ugly ; written chapters cw ⇆ nothing really, just enjoy this one lol
╰┈ see masterlist here
prev chap. - next chap.
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— synopsis ⇆ what's there to do when you land in an awkward position with a cute stranger due to a chaotic amusement park ride?
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taglist ⇆ @dwcljh @butterfliesinthenightsky @soobiverse @gruvingyuvin
a/n ⇆ first and second chapter how we feeling folks! i had alot of fun making this one, don't worry more of gyuvin's group coming soon :)
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itsmattchou · 9 months
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all day, i'm thinking about you !
starring: zb1 & some zumblrcord members warnings: jiwoong gets ageshamed (misa core), mentions of eating children, turkish alpha wolf, hanbin is a 'hater', taerae is delulu, cutie yujin, english isn't my first language!!! genre: uhm i have legit no idea. misc? synopsis: in a parallel universe where zb1 are the fans of zumblr… how do they act as fanboys? notes: zumblrcord people love this idea. are you a zb1 too? shoutout to moni @taerrrrrae for the elif evil editing idea! mentioned: elif @jinkiseason ; venom @zerobaseonefics ; irene @itaerae ; tea @teaxeee ; eris @keita-luv ; misa @terazono-keita
ZUMBLR (점브러) is a 9-member project group formed by MNET‘s survival show DELULU PLANET 999. They made their debut on July 4, 2023 with the mini album 'OLD AGE IN THE LIGHT' and the song 'Out Wilted'.
Fandom Name: ZB1 (ZeroBaseOne) Official Merch: a Zumblr mug🤓
kim jiwoong he's not as open about being a zb1 as the other boys. it's more like his secret identity. kim jiwoong at day, zb1 at night, he's basically like batman. he writes a lot of fanfictions but nobody knows about it, he uses a different name on the internet. he's part of the zb1 discord and gets roasted for his age regularly. he likes buying the zumblr albums and loves listening to their music, especially when he's jogging or cleaning his apartment. he's waiting for the day that one of members acts in a kdrama. his bias is elif.
zhang hao he's always uploading covers of zumblr songs. if singing covers, dance covers or violin covers doesn't matter. he uploads them and is fairly popular in the fandom. listens to every song the second a new album drops and is also big on streaming. he's also really into 'drama' surrounding zumblr. he still laughs about the way mnet tried evil editing "RAWRR turkish alpha wolf" elif into making it seem like she eats kids because they didn't want a furry in the line up. elif still made it as P04. hao can't decide for a bias.
sung hanbin he's the most well known zb1. he went viral for 'hating' on zumblr member venom (everybody knows he's utterly in love with her). he also writes fanfictions but he's more open about it. probably cries every night thinking about zumblrs future disbandment. he works in a coffeeshop and makes sure to regularly play zumblr songs in order to promote them further. he has like hundreds of fellow zb1 friends and moots online. he claims that he biases somebody else, but everybody knows that his bias is venom.
seok matthew he's the sweetest fan for real. he streams and votes a lot, he would feel guilty if not. he likes buying the albums and always makes sure to preorder them so he could receive extra benefits. he always has a photocard in his phone case and changes it regularly. he cried while watching the dp999 finale, even though his pick made it. he likes to upload funny videos about zumblr onto youtube (zumblr out of context eg) and has a big following too. his zumblr lightstick is his most beloved possession. his bias is chou, obviously.
kim taerae he's literally the most delulu out of all of them. he might not seem like it, but he definitely is. while hanbin and jiwoong are the ones writing the fanfictions, he's the one who's constantly reading them. he loves covering zumblr songs and uploading his singing onto youtube and tiktok. taerae rewatches delulu planet 999 often and is constantly sad about all the eliminated trainees. he really likes to trade his photocards for no specific reason. he's incredibly bad at voting and streaming though. he is an ot9.
shen ricky he's the kinda stan that owns EVERYTHING. he rich fr. albums? owns every single version of every album. seasons greeting? he has it. merch? best believe he buys every piece possible. concert tickets? he's spoiling himself with vip tickets. he has won multiple phone calls too and every other broke stan is incredibly jealous of him. he's talked to every member so far and literally went viral on multiple platforms for his obsession with zumblr because he posted about it. his bias is irene, as she's just as rich as him.
kim gyuvin he only speaks in zumblr references and has annoyed friends into becoming zb1s too. he runs a meme page / very popular fan page for zumblr. every other zb1 knows him. zumblr has even mentioned him in lives before. he buys every album (but only one version. he's kinda broke.) and decorates his room with some fan articles. he likes learning the dances. he goes to karaoke bars regularly and always puts zumblr songs on, his favorite being 'never', the solo song from chou. gyuvin changes his bias like every single day.
park gunwook he's the friend gyuvin annoyed into becoming a zb1. he started watching delulu planet 999 when it was already too late and almost ending and he really regretted not tuning in earlier. he's a big zb1 now even though his #1 pick (tea) didn't make it. but he's still a bit more chill compared to some other members. he doesn't buy albums because he wants to save up to go to one of their concerts instead. he streams zumblrs music kind of unintentionally as it's always playing on loop while he's his doing homework. he doesn't bias anyone in the group. (missing tea hours)
han yujin he watches all youtube videos about them while he's doing his homework. he once scribbled the zumblr logo on a test sheet and got an extra point because the teacher is also a zb1 (biased). he cries often because the maknae- eris- is younger than him. he likes to do dancing covers and uploads them on tiktok. he always saves up money in order to buy some albums or merch. he reads zumblr fluff whenever he's sad. has won a phone call once and made the member 'fall in love' with him as he's just too cute. his bias is eris.
bonus:
terazono keita really doesn't give a fuck about zumblr. he only cares about misa who sadly didn't make the cut and only placed P12 in the dp999 finals.
lee seunghwan is unemployed. he spends his free time listening to zumblr music.
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solarwoniii · 9 months
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ROOMMATES TO LOVERS TEXTS WITH ! zhang hao
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fluff, crack, :D
★ my perm taglist ; @hunbun07 @metalchick529 @chewryy @haesunflower @iraa567 !
★ warnings ; reader calls zhao an attention whore 😭 but nothing sexual, menstruation, i think thats all
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incorrectzbone · 1 year
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[ZB1 Group Chat]
Gunwook: JSDHWJZ
Taerae: What is that?
Yujin: It's a laugh!
Taerae: How do I do that??
Gunwook: Just press any letter!
Taerae: 7
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bp-zb1fics · 1 year
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can i req gyuvin x male reader where gyuvin wants to ask out the reader but protective YOUNGER brother gunwook blocks any chance he can get but right as gyuvin is about to give up reader asks gyuvin out? you can make this as funny as you like
The perils of asking you out
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pairing: gyuvin x male reader ft. protective younger brother gunwook
genre: university au on some serious crack (same verse as sunbaenim), chaotic romcom vibes
tw/tags: love at first sight, protective brother, uni party, alcohol, getting drunk, flirting, junhyeon gives great advice, gunwook is 18 and can have a driver's license, hangovers, eating ramen, confessions, dates, gunwook isn’t trying to be scary — gyuvin’s just scared (and in love), a whole lot of chaos and comedic side comments
wc: 3068 😱
summary: gyuvin’s always wanted to ask you out but he has one big problem and it’s called park gunwook, your extremely protective little brother.
a/n this…hefty word count, srsly thought I wasn’t capable of going over 2k words when it came to requests but oh well. Perhaps it’s because anon (tysm for the req) said “make this as funny as you like” and so this is v much heavily infused w my brand of- err humor. This au was rlly fun to write as well~ Enjoy!
Check my pinned for more fics~
Gyuvin notices you on your first day of university freshman orientation. 
Now he won’t claim love at first sight. He found you interesting, is all. People are allowed to find other people interesting. He wanted to get to know you, which was fine. People should get to know other people. 
And okay, so what if he was in love, just a little, you know? People are allowed to fall in love with other people, goddamit. But it definitely isn’t love, probably.
People can also check the schedules of other people to see what classes they have together. Why? So Gyuvin would have opportunities to talk with you. 
And there’s nothing wrong with that. People should talk to other people. Social interaction is a basic need. The reason people have needs is so that they can function properly.
Right, proper, solid logic.
“Hi.”
You look up at the brunette boy who’s taken the seat beside you.
“I’m Kim Gyuvin.”
You smile, introduce yourself and say:
“Nice to meet you, Gyuvin-ssi.”
Gyuvin swears he can hear wedding bells. 
Which is okay. Totally fine. People are allowed to daydream about their wedding to-
Yeah fuck that.
It’s your first week of freshman year and Kim Gyuvin has a gigantic, humongous, big, fat crush on you. And that’s a fact.
__________________________________________
Gyuvin meets your younger brother when you two are about halfway through the first semester. 
Things are going well for you by all counts. While you don’t always run in the same circles, you’re always friendly in class and he’s more or less claimed the seat next to you for most of the ones you share. You’ve partnered up for a project and he’s offered to bring back the phone charger you forgot you lent him last time you worked together.
Eventually, you gave in, sending him your address after he repeatedly told you it wouldn’t be a bother. Unlike most first year students like him who lived in the dormitories, you stayed at an off-campus apartment building nearby. Gyuvin’s almost bouncing off the walls of the elevator at the chance to see you. Maybe he can even ask you out for dinner if you’re free tonight, he thinks giddily as he knocks on the door.
Unfortunately, all his daydreams die when the door swings open and he is greeted by someone who is definitely not you. They’re about the same height but the other boy still has about an inch on him and a whole lot more muscle, nearly bursting out of the door frame. Gyuvin’s about to apologise, turn around and look for the right apartment when he hears what he clearly knows is your voice calling out.
“Wookie! Who is it?”
Like an angel, you appear behind the boy, your face brightening up as you spot Gyuvin.
“Ah, hi Gyuvin-ssi. Thanks for coming all the way, you really didn’t have to.” You shoo the boy away although he manages to throw Gyuvin another dark look before shuffling back in.
“No, no, no worries at all, it’s really not a problem.” he reassures you weakly, still shaken from the encounter. You glance behind you and wave the other boy off once more.
“Don’t mind Gunwookie.” Gyuvin’s mind is definitely preoccupied by the soft white sweater you’re wearing and how cute and angelic you look in it. Yessir it is.
“He’s just staying with me for the weekend. Never thought my little brother would miss me that quickly, you know?” You laugh as Gyuvin’s mind finally processes what you’re saying.
Little. Brother. That unnervingly large, definitely intimidating boy that’s definitely glaring at him from where he’s seated on the couch was YOUR LITTLE BROTHER???
“I see.” Wow, real smooth Gyuvin.
“Are you alright, Gyuvin-ssi? Are you feeling well?” Your eyebrow furrow at his strange behaviour.
“No, no worries. I’m good.” Gyuvin replies hastily. Right! He’ll ask you if you want to have dinner. “I was actually wondering if you-”
“Hyung, what time are we going? I’m hungry.” And failed.
“Aish you brat, can’t you see that I’m having a conversation over here?” You scold before turning back to Gyuvin, apologetic.
“Really sorry about him Gyuvin-ssi, would you want to join us for dinner? There’s a good soondubu place just down the road that I’m taking Gunwookie to.”
“I, uh-” Gyuvin would have definitely leapt at a chance to have dinner for you if not for the 6-foot devil menacing at him, gaze promising death if he agreed.
“I actually had dinner already,” he said instead. You look even more confused.
“But it’s 4pm?” Right, way to go Gyuvin, so smart.
“I like having dinner early, it’s better for digestion.” He salvages with a total bald-faced lie.
“Huh, I should try that but I love my midnight snacks so-” God if Gyuvin could ever be more in love with you than this. Okay, come back to your senses, Kim Gyuvin.
“Oh, I hate to keep you from your dinner so I’ll get going now.”
You smile. Wedding bells- no, no, no stop it.
“I guess I’ll see you around, Gyuvin-ssi.”
Gyuvin smiles back dopily.
“Yeah, see you.”
The door closes and he walks back to his dormitory.
Asking you out is going to be harder than he expected. He thinks, shuddering at the memory of Gunwook’s dark glare when he opened the door.
As he rummages through his backpack, his hands pull out a very familiar cord and plug.
It’s your charger.
He might as well go die in a hole. Gunwook would definitely be happy to bury his body.
__________________________________________
Gyuvin eventually returns your charger. His dignity on the other hand? Well no one knows when that’s returning.
You’re not even annoyed about it. Laughing at him all good natured and teasing him about his very real fears but it's not like you know that (or Gyuvin’s ever admitting it).
“Did Gunwookie scare you off? He used to be like that when we were in highschool, challenged anyone that gave me trouble,” you chuckle while Gyuvin tries his best not to audibly gulp.
“You’re not going to give me trouble, are you Gyuvin-ssi?”
You’re trouble, he thought. Troubling my heart as we speak.
“I hope not.” he says instead, making you laugh even more.
The class settles down as your professor enters. You pat him lightly on the shoulder. His heart jumps traitorously.
“Don’t let my brother scare you off, Gyuvin-ssi, he might act all protective but really, he’s just a big teddy bear.”
Gyuvin definitely does not believe that but he appreciates the sentiment.
Love will have its challenges, he thinks as he watches you.
And no challenge, not even a terrifyingly overprotective younger brother who’s built like the hulk will stop him.
He’ll ask you out soon, he will.
Then Gyuvin realises the whole class is staring at him, even you.
“The answer to the question, Gyuvin-ssi?” The professor asks expectantly.
Shit.
You mutter the answer under your breath and he repeats it. The professor nods approvingly and moves on. You smile at him when he thanks you. 
Yep. He’s marrying you asking you out and nothing will stop him.
__________________________________________
The next time Gyuvin tries his chances is at a party.
Hosted by the university’s resident social butterfly, definitely in the running for Ms. Congeniality, senior Sung Hanbin, it’s one of the bigger events of the year for the second semester’s O-week. And Gyuvin was lucky enough to have received an invitation personally, having met the friendly senior at one of the uni organisations he joined. 
It was exciting. While he had attended his fair share of welcome parties during his own orientation, there had been rumours floating around about the party the seniors were planning to start their last semester with a bang.
It also just so happened that you were going as well, having been invited by a close friend of Hanbin. Gyuvin was confident. And a little liquid courage wasn’t going to hurt.
You arrived a bit later than he did, accompanied by your friend from the foreign student society of which you took part to improve your already excellent English skills. You’re greeted by Seok Matthew, a junior and another member of the society who happened to be Hanbin’s close friend and your invite to the party. 
Gyuvin was in deep, groaning to Junhyeon about how good you looked, your shirt cut low to show off your collarbones and multiple earrings adorning your ears. At that moment, you spot him and wave, making your way towards him. Gyuvin panics.
“Fuck, fuck, what do I do?”
“If you think he’s hot, you should shoot your shot.” Junhyeon offers, the very fountain of wisdom he is.
You greet Junhyeon before turning to the brunette and wow, your smile is dazzling.
“Gyuvin-ssi, how are you finding the party?”
“It’s great,” he replies by default, mind going blank. “Hanbin-hyung definitely exceeded expectations.” 
Come on, Gyuvin. You can do it. Summon some rizz.
“Do you wanna get a drink?” He manages, gesturing at his empty cup. You agree easily, and he leads you to the bar that's been put up. So far, so good.
Unfortunately for him, you recognize the blond bartender, immediately striking up a conversation.
“Ricky-ah!” Gyuvin reels back when you address him casually. “How’d you end up as the bartender?”
“Zhang Hao-hyung” the other says, naming another close friend of Hanbin’s. The blond’s eyes flick between you and Gyuvin as he polished one of the glasses. What for? No one knew. Most party goers seem to be holding plastic cups.
“So what can I get for you?”
Two drinks, six shots and three drinking games later and Gyuvin is holding on for dear life. Literally, he’s about to fall off his seat. 
The only good thing going for him is that apparently you’re a clingy drunk, latching onto his arm in a way that would definitely give him a heart attack if it wasn’t for all the alcohol he had in him.
“Gyuvinah…” you mumble sleepily as he struggles to keep you both upright. 
“Mmmmm?”
“You’re really handsome, you know?”
Gyuvin truly has no thoughts. He must be in some somaek induced hallucination or something.
“Seriously, the first time I saw you with your brown hair, you looked like a prince.” You continued on, oblivious to his inner turmoil.
Gyuvin suddenly felt way too flustered, his cheeks already flushed hot from the drinks.
“Would you wanna step outside? Get some air maybe.” He suggests.
“Okay!” You agree as you both stumble for the door, whistles and hoots following you.
“Get him, boy!” Someone, probably Haruto, your friend from earlier, yells. Gyuvin ‘s about to turn around and shush them when you groan and bury your face into the back of his shirt.
“They’re so loud, let’s goo.” 
You’re finally outside, sitting together on a bench outside the party venue. Gyuvin can’t get over the feeling of you leaning on his shoulder. Come on Gyuvin, say something to him.
“Did…did you mean what you said earlier?”
You lift your head up if only to squint at him suspiciously.
“Yeah…why?”
And then you smile, dazed, reaching out to pat his cheeks.
“So handsome Gyuvinah” you slur and Gyuvin finally has the nerve to take your hand in his. You stare at both of your hands.
“You’re holding my hand.” You say more of a statement, then a question.
“Yeah.” He swallows nervously, here it goes. “Hey, I was wondering maybe you’d like to go-“
HONK! You and Gyuvin nearly jump out of your skins as a car nearly scares the living daylight out of you. The headlights are bright and Gyuvin has to squint to see the driver as he gets out of the car. Oh no, it can’t be-
“Wookie?”
You say as your younger brother makes a beeline for you. You take a minute to look at him up and down and then look at the car behind him and gasp.
“You’re a baby!” You declare, shaking your head at him cutely. “Babies aren’t supposed to drive cars.”
“You texted me to come pick you up, hyung.”
You look adorably perplexed. “Did I?”
Gunwook’s ignoring you, glaring holes into Gyuvin’s hand still holding yours. Gyuvin drops your hand like a dead fish and you whine.
“Nevermind, Gyuvinah doesn’t like me anymore. Take me home, Wookie.” You say as Gyuvin’s mouth drops open and Gunwook hoists you up, half carrying you into the car.
His mouth remains open as the car drives off. Godammit. His stomach lurches. Gyuvin promptly decides to empty its contents onto the side of the bench. Classy. 
__________________________________________
After waking up with a raging hangover and a whole lot of regret, Gyuvin decides to regroup, maybe collect some of his dignity and self-respect again. If he can manage to find it, that is.
Thank god for the weekend, he thinks. One of his roommates decides to make ramyeon, all of them slurping silently and nursing their own hangovers.
And because Junhyeon is Junhyeon, he absolutely had to ask.
“So did you shoot your shot?”
Gyuvin groans. More like he shot himself. 
Junhyeon pats him on the back sympathetically.
“You’ll get there, bro. From what I saw, he seems pretty into you too, you know.”
A little ramen escapes his mouth and falls back into his makeshift bowl with a sad little plop. 
“You really think that?” Junhyeon steps back, clearly not ready for how intensely hopeful his roommate suddenly becomes.
“Okay hold up, woah there. I dunno what he thinks but I saw what I saw at that party. And you cute, bro, no cap.”
“But does he find me cute?” Gyuvin says forlorn again, shovelling noodles into his mouth.
“Well he gotta be finding something in you if he keeps hanging out with you.” Junhyeon offers because yes, he’s truly a well of knowledge.
Gyuvin tips his bowl back and finishes off the soup before staring at its empty state. So sad, truly a tragedy.
__________________________________________
There’s class the next day. And it happens to be one of the classes he has with you. God, how can he face you after that night.
“Hi Gyuvin-ssi,” you greet, back to formal speak much to his dismay.
“Hello,” he says and because he’s a simp little concerned, he asks.
“Are you feeling better after that other night?”
Your face falls. Immediate regret.
“Oh! Oh- um- yes I got home safely. Thanks for-“
And before you can finish, the professor enters and you start class. Now if Gyuvin wasn’t all nervous and fidgety, he would have noticed that you were in the exact same boat. 
When the professor wraps up and you begin to pack up your stuff, Gyuvin takes a chance to call your attention only for you to do it at the exact same time. You look at each other and laugh, the ice broken just a little.
“No, no you go first.” Gyuvin insists.
“Ah…” you hesitate, choosing your words carefully. “I just want to say I’m sorry for my behaviour the other night and I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner sometime? My treat, you know, for taking care of me.”
Gyuvin should assure you it’s fine. He should politely accept your invitation and say that taking care of you isn’t a bother. Instead, he sputters out.
“Like a date?”
You freeze. He freezes. You stand there for an incredibly long time (like 15 seconds, wow). Alarm bells start to go off in Gyuvin’s head. Finally-
“I mean…it can be a date if you want it to be a date?”
Alarm bells turn into wedding bells. Say it, Gyuvin, say I do.
“Totally…I mean, yes, I’d like it to be a date, very much.”
You smile softly before glancing at the time, your face falling again.
“Oh shit, I need to get to my next class, I’ll text you the details later, see you!”
Gyuvin watches as you rush out. It’s okay. He’s fine. Actually no, he’s not fine. But he did it. And it only took a whole semester and some but he’s finally going out with you.
__________________________________________
One blissful winter break later and Gyuvin’s practically skipping to your place. Maybe the chill bit at his skin and the wind whipped in his face but he didn’t care, he was finally going to see you, his boyfriend, again and the cold never bothered him anyway.
Your one date at the start of the last semester had turned into five, then ten dates until he was officially your boyfriend. Walking each other to their next class, holding hands, carrying your bag for you, all that good stuff. 
He’s even met your family over the holidays and you met his. Gyuvin would like to think that even Gunwook was warming up to him, just a little bit. He had come with you to support the younger boy during the CSAT exams and Gunwook actually thanked him once the exam was done. Still, he thought as he knocked on your door enthusiastically, that boy still intimidated him and he’ll definitely need to work on not flinching-
The door swings open and Gyuvin flinches. It’s like deja vu. 
“Hi hyung,” Gunwook greets him wearing what looks like a letterman jacket from their university. Gyuvin must be dreaming, definitely.
He’s about to pinch himself when you appear behind your brother.
“Gyuvinie!”
“Hello my aein~” 
No he’s definitely not dreaming and your brother is still there.
“Hi Gunwook!” He nearly squeaks out before you’re shoving the younger boy away to wrap your arms around your boyfriend.
Gyuvin’s brain promptly malfunctions but the next part of what you say brings him back online.
“Can’t you believe Wookie got accepted into our uni? He’ll be staying with me until we can find a bigger unit to rent, maybe you can live there too!”
“Sure…” Gyuvin said numbly, imagining all the ways Gunwook could fake his death after he dared to defile you. You frown.
“Don’t tell me Wookie still scares you?”
“No! No, what are you talking about?”
He definitely does. So sure, Gyuvin’s managed to make you his. But will your brother accept that? Well, that’s for him to find out. Because yes, it will be a long time before Kim Gyuvin realises that Park Gunwook isn’t as intimidating as he appears to be.
In the end, they’re both just big softies and they’re especially soft for you.
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junnieverse · 7 months
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— PING 💬 TEXTS WITH K. GYUVIN !
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➙ random daily texts with your best friend gyuvin
pairing: kim gyuvin x gn!reader
genre: full on crack, fluff if you squint a bit
warnings: gyuvin swears in one of the slides, gyuvin calls the reader a 'dumbass' (jokingly), eumppappa slander (as a joke, we love her here), not proofread, lowercase intended
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gyewbin · 3 days
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🐹 %% BUT SOMETIMES
OO3. Mathematics Magician
ignore timestamps mrow
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prev. | next. | m.list
a/n. HAI GUYS ^_^ so i mightve lied about getting two chapters out bcuz i simply dont feel like finishing the written part for next chapter like at all especially because im on the way to a whole other state for a trip right now and im running on like 5 hours of sleep ❤️ that said, i hope u enjoyed this chapter!! it feels kinda rushed to me, but i still hope u Like it… and i’ll try to get the next one out tmrw :3
taglist .. (reply/send an ask to be added) @nanadreamies @chweverni
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lovepookie · 3 months
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♡ zerobaseone maknae-line reaction to “pull up, i’m in a fight” texts!
♡ nano note: thanks @rick-hee for the req!! once again, these are now my fav texts i’ve ever done lmaooo. i hope u enjoy this unhinged mess as much as i do! keep the requests coming! xoxo
♡ warnings: cursing, violence/aggresion, fighting mentioned, mentions of arrest and the police, passive aggressiveness, pet names, yujin’s is platonic/friendship, Imk if i need to add anything!
read hyung-line here.
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ohhmydyosfics · 6 days
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(Haobin) the group project is NOT going well
Hanbin: Are you all able to meet on Saturday to work on the project?
Hao: no im planning to be sick that day
Hanbin: You cannot be serious
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kkurades · 1 year
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HEART TO HEART ━━━━━ masterlist
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━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NISHIMURA RIKI never would have thought that being a demon meant he’d be summoned by you on a late tuesday evening begging him to make your p.e teacher disappear for a day just because you didn’t want to run during class the next day
pairing: demon!ni-ki x fem!student!reader
genre: high school au, slight!supernatural au, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, crack, smau, written, slight!angst
featuring: rei of IVE ( faceclaim ), enhypen, yunjin of LE SSERAFIM, yuna of ITZY, ning ning of AESPA, danielle of NEW JEANS, jongseob of P1HARMONY , chaeryeong of ITZY , ricky of ZEROBASEONE
warning: dark humour, cursing
status: finished
( started on 23/03/2023, finished on 06/07/2023 )
tag list: @sserafimez, @neohyxn, @smh-anon, @redm4ri, @stopeatread, @yourfavoritefreakyhan , @saiewithakatana , @kyuupidwrites , @i-dont-know-me-either , @aestheticsluut , @certainyouthpeanut , @deadgirlwalking3 , @4imhry, @1-800shutthefuckup, @moonshoon, @tzuyusluv, @j-wyoung, @strwberrydinosaur, @soobiverse, @astrae4, @ensrfm, @kimipxl, @imasimplol, @vlvtrkii, @enhafika, @maerijw, @arizzu, @txtmetonight, @dimplewonie, @catryu, @wonyoungsvirus, @haewonluvr, @artstaeh, @softpia, @witzys, @run2seob, @beomgyusonlywife, @st4rfiles, @txtmetonight, @ilovewonyo, @yumilovesloona, , @ghostiiess, @noonaslvr, @ahnneyong, @ineedaherosavemeenow, @ryomenswife, @wildesreblogs, @kissezfornamjoon, @lomlyeonjun, @jhopesucker ( closed )
ENHYPEN MASTERLIST ˚୨୧⋆ MAIN MASTERLIST
## PROFILES !!
001. beatles dupes
002. anti yn haters
003. satan’s children
## CHAPTER INDEX !!
one | strawberry lamp
two | laughing out loud
three | queen ni-ki
four | sugar mommy
five | edward cullen
six | summertime sadness
seven | jisoo the fish
eight | tunnel of misery
nine | vogue magazines (0.4k)
ten | ultimate demon rizz
eleven | the class president
twelve | niki is riki
thirteen | holy eyes
fourteen | nr. 1 fangirl
fifteen | mlp socks
sixteen | little lover boy
seventeen | king julian
eighteen | bad kisser (1.1k)
nineteen | kissing rat
twenty | babygirl privileges
twenty one | gold digger
twenty two | #notacheater
twenty three | riki’s headphones
twenty four | the og riki
twenty five | the L word
twenty six | i love you (0.3k)
twenty seven | pookie
heart to heart © kkurades, 2023.
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