SHERLOCK: “Frogs?”
JACK: “Frogs.”
DOCTOR: “FROGS!”
Sherlock: “Okay. Bored. Let’s go.”
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DOCTOR: “Jack, stop standing there looking like the Terminator and come give us a hand up here!”
JACK: “Doctor, you’ll never manage to build a new TARDIS console like this!”
DOCTOR: “It’s the only choice we have, now COME ON!”
SHERLOCK: “I thought Time Lords were supposed to be this great civilisation. My mind palace looks much better than this ‘thing’ you’re building.”
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JACK: “Doctor, what’s that on your fridge? You got a… hot date on the 10th?”
DOCTOR: “Oh, that’s just a note to myself. I always write down which Doctor I am, just to keep track. Easy to forget when you’ve lived this long.”
SHERLOCK: “You’d get along with my brother, Doctor. Sounds like something he would do.”
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SHERLOCK: “Is that a gingerbread person? Is it… alive?”
JACK: “Is he giving us directions?”
SHERLOCK: “What makes you think he’s a ‘he’?”
DOCTOR: “Oh trust me, Jack can tell. I’m sure he has lots of spicy stories to tell about gingerbread people.”
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DOCTOR: “How do you handle a crying baby?”
JACK: “No idea. Try giving him a Mars bar, it worked in the 51st century.”
DOCTOR: “I don’t have time to go to Mars now! Sherlock, stop playing with that ball and help us!”
SHERLOCK: “Are we actually going to give a Mars bar to baby Jesus?”
JACK: “I’m sure that if you read the Bible carefully…”
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SHERLOCK: “I thought we were going to play chess?”
DOCTOR: “I thought we were going to play that hopping game where you can only step on one colour? Remember all the hopping?”
JACK: “No. Boys, today is the day you learn to tap dance!”
SHERLOCK: “And I thought it couldn’t get worse than the hopping game…”
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DOCTOR: “Sherlock, help me carry this inside the TARDIS. We’ll put it next to that dead Weeping Angel Jack got me last year.”
SHERLOCK: “Why me?”
JACK: “Doctor, that’s not a tree. It’s a Vaksarathra. It could kill us all in a fraction of a second.”
DOCTOR: “Killed by a Christmas tree! But that’s exciting, isn’t it? Turns out Jackie Tyler was right after all!”
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SHERLOCK: “What are you two doing now?”
DOCTOR: “We’re going to go down that hill with this sleigh! Oh yes!”
JACK: “Doctor, how exactly are we going to move forwards until we get to top of the hill?”
DOCTOR: “That’s a good point. Sherlock, care to be our Rudolph?”
SHERLOCK: “Is this what John feels like when he’s with me?”
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DOCTOR: “Stop it, Jack. There is no way I am going to have a scented bath, and especially with you too.”
SHERLOCK: “You know, scented baths are surprisingly relaxing. I used to have them all the time until the day Mrs Hudson walked in on me and started shouting hysterically.”
JACK: “Oh, I bet she did, the saucy minx. So you’re that good, huh?”
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DOCTOR: “Jack, you’re going to jump, go to that gate, and open it to let those Sontarans out.”
JACK: “Why me?”
DOCTOR: “Because you’re the only one of us that can jump and survive the fall.”
SHERLOCK: “Excuse me?”
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DOCTOR: “And now we ride, oh yes!”
JACK: “Oh please, stop acting like you’re Napoleon.”
SHERLOCK: “Who’s Napoleon?”
DOCTOR: “Why do I never get a companion who will let me have a horse?!”
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DOCTOR: “Jaaaack, what is that?”
JACK: “I believe it’s called a Time Turner.”
SHERLOCK: “Sorry, were we meant to say ‘WOAH’ there? I think I missed my chance.”
DOCTOR: “What does it do?”
JACK: “Oh, absolutely nothing. I bought it on Amazon for 10 p. It’s just so we can feel the mood when we go see that fantastic beast Eddie Redmayne at the cinema.”
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JACK: “Allow me to introduce Lady Ev-”
DOCTOR: “No.”
JACK: “But I haven’t even said anything yet!”
SHERLOCK: “She’s not coming with us.”
DOCTOR: “Jack, she’s a doll.”
JACK: “I know, right? Isn’t she hot?”
DOCTOR: “No, I mean, she’s ACTUALLY a doll.”
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JACK: “That is a big egg.”
SHERLOCK: “What do you think it could be?”
DOCTOR: “No idea. A Slitheen, perhaps?”
JACK: “Do you mean… Margaret?”
SHERLOCK: “Thatcher?”
DOCTOR: “Worse.”
JACK: “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
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DOCTOR: “One day my companions will finally understand the meaning of ‘don’t wander off’. I await eagerly.”
SHERLOCK: “It attacked me!”
JACK: “The only way to get him out is to sing a lullaby to that plant.”
DOCTOR: “But I don’t know any lullabies!”
JACK: “Me neither. Maybe Lady Gaga will work too?”
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SHERLOCK: "What is this, Planet of the Hairy Tangerines?"
DOCTOR: "No. We are on Earth. This is the new President of the United States."
JACK: "Time to go fetch that Osterhagen Key."
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SHERLOCK: "Is that...?" DOCTOR: "No." JACK: "Why not?" DOCTOR: "Because he didn't exist, and because even if he had existed, he wouldn't have been a fox." JACK: "Maybe he was turned into one?" DOCTOR: "What is this, Harry Potter meets Disney meets the BBC?"
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