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pinkbarefacedbeauty · 3 years

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The Darkling is Problematic

Ok, admittedly I haven’t gotten around reading the book yet. I was watching the show…for the 4th time, I just caught something. I guess I might be slow or something because I literally just caught what was said.

Everyone at this point knows that the Darkling is a pedophile simply off the fact that he is over centuries old by trying to mess with Alina.

I don’’t know what people’s obsession with old ass men messing with teenage girls. Like you don’t even have the girl be of legal age? Doesn’t make it any better but you don’t even want it to be a woman in her thirties or mid-twenties, at the very least??

Even worse, it is a known fact that these type of books and media are targeted to teenage girls and their exaggerated imagination. I remember being in my teens and thirsting after older men and books that I could imagine myself as this betty sue character who all the guys are fawning over. Like i’d take off my glasses and i’d be banging hot.(because in media wearing glasses always equated to ugliness for some reason. No, for real, the heroine would literally take off her glasses, put a little eyeliner and lip gloss and suddenly everyone loved her new revealing style. Overnight hottie.) Like there are actual adults writing and encouraging pedophilia.

Leigh Bardugo wrote possibly everything about the Darkling being creepy as fuck. She didn’t intend for the Darkling to end up with Alina. She made it known how toxic he was. Like even in the Netflix show, you see his background and feel like “awww, how sad” but that doesn’t change all the creepy and horrible shit he has done since then. In her book and show, it is very clear that she is not shipping the Darkling and Alina together. She is making the darkling as villainous as possible.

The Darkling reads Alina’s letters to Mal. This is not some high school boy who stupidly thinks that reading the diary of the girl he likes would bring him closer to her because he just so really likes her.

This is a man who is over a century old invading the privacy of a 17 year old girl through reading her letters. He reads her letters to find information on how to manipulate her, and he does just that. He feeds her this boohoo story of how he was never accepted and how he was mistreated based on his ancestor’s actions (like she was mistreated because she was half-shu). Everything he does is to get her to only lean on him: the random horseback excursions, the gloves, the story, etc.

Classic abuser behavior (besides actual abuse like collaring her) is to try and make her feel isolated and dependent on him, cutting her off from the people that actually loves her. He tries and make it seem like he is the only person she can lean on. There are literally people that find it adorable that not only did he read her letters to Mal, manipulate her with the information in those letters, but that he also never had her letters sent out to Mal. They say, “Omg, he’s jealous of Mal”, like…. no, Mal is an obstacle to his ability to have Alina under his thumb. He even uses the information that Mal gave him about her favorite flowers to then give said flowers to this naive, and love-starved little girl. You know what would have been a better present? Let Alina see Mal, her one true North (As he knows from creepily reading her letters).

Like y’all really want a man that cuts you off from your home and family, goes through your mail without permission, guilt trips you (everyone at Little Palace was doing so), abuses you, and makes you feel as if you’re nothing without him??? People are really obsessed with toxicity nowadays. Like i’m honestly scared for this world.

If he was actually caring for Alina and looking out for her best interest, he would have (1) let her letters be delivered and receive letters to and from Mal, (2) he would have let Alina see Mal. Everyone else in Little Palace receives letters from loved ones but her. He would have done everything to make sure her new residency made her feel welcomed.

The excuse of locking her up in Little Palace was for protection from the rest of the world, which made sense as we watched/read about the Grisha hunters. That was like okay, there was no choice in order to protect her. But the rest of his actions are completely inexcusable. His mother basically said it might have started off with good intentions, but he is just power hungry. When you are at war, there is bound to be casualties, but he is treating the Grisha as expendable tools to get his revenge against the country.

Not only does he pimp out Genya to the king, but like his own mother said, he has had centuries to master manipulating naive little girls. He literally told Zoya and Alina the same thing “You and I are going to change the world”. The scene I just noticed and was thrown off by because it was the most overt thing was when Zoya basically sexually propositioned the Darkling, because it usually took his mind off of whatever was bothering him. Like old times….LIKE OLD TIMES??!

Now, Zoya’s age is listed as 19-20 in the first book. But her saying “like old times” doesn’t give me the impression of one year ago or hell even four years ago. It seems like a distant past. That would mean this man who is over a century old was messing around with Zoya while she was even younger than Alina’s age (17) in first book. He has messed with countless young/underage impressionable girls who felt like they had no one else to rely on. He is literally preying on children and people are…..shipping this?

People like to excuse when gross ass men mess with 17 year old girls because (1) they are 17 year old girls themselves and consider themselves grown and the man to be hot or (2) they think that since they are only one year from 18 that that makes them grown.. Like no, these are still children. Literally, most people don’t even fully mature until age 25, some people for longer. But seventeen, eighteen, nineteen….these are still teenagers. Children. Then people want to say, ‘well that’s how it was back then!!! blah blah blah’……so you decide to ship it rather the more healthy, legal and logical choice??

It’s like people will shame you for shaming them for liking pedophilia. Like if you know it is gross as hell and you ship it, how can you blame others for shaming you? People like to call it kink-shaming. But I think that just diverts attention away from the issue. This is not shaming someone for liking to be spanked or their hair pulled. This is shaming grown ass men and women for encouraging pedophilia.

If he looked like Jason Voorhees under the mask, then these same people thirsting over the Darkling would be anything but supportive. But hey, I guess foul and disgusting evil behavior can all be excused if it is a hot guy with a sad story, right?

There were also people complaining about how older Ben Barnes looked than Jessi Mei Li, even if he is hot. Y’all know the character is supposed to be over a century right? Y’all should be satisfied that he didn’t show up looking like Albus Dumbledore. That’s the whole point…of how older he is than everyone around him. He is supposed to look older because *SURPRISE!* he is way older than her.

Like the more I rewatch, I catch up all the little things and it just disturbs me even more that people are encouraging this. I can’t control what people think in their heads, but don’t fuck up the rest of the generation by encouraging this disgusting shit. It creeps me the fuck out.

#leigh bardugo #shadow and bone #alina starvok #netflix

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pi-jessicajones · 3 years

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Stuff about the muse

1. Jessi’s first time off-world will go differently depending on who she goes off-world with. However there are a few things that would remain the same. 1a. She find something and lick it for the sake of it. 1b. Poke it with a stick. 1c. Come up with the weirdest way ever to deal with the WORST VILLAIN EVER...and it surprisingly works and the hero is like “why didn’t i think of that?”

2. Jessica’s sexual preference at the moment is Yes. Man. Woman. Trans. Alien. Whatever. As long as they are consenting adults she’s willing to do it all. She’s of the belief that she can’t be picky. If they can survive her throwing them through a wall....then ...sexy times can and probably will happen.

3. Whenever she is seen eating, Jessica can pack away quite a lot of food and not even worry about it. But this is only in threads that are set well after the Kilgrave timeline. During the first few canons (so the canon first two seasons), Jessica is actually underweight because a. She forgets to eat. b. Can’t afford to eat. c. Spends all her money on alcohol when she does have it.

4. In regards to Avengers - She hates Tony. Is best friends with Pepper in some universes. If Steve didn’t have a stick lodged so far up his keister maybe they could get along. Maybe. Jessica would have a very interesting relationship with Nat. They’d train together a lot. But also fuck a lot. Clint and Jessica bond over their “don’t speak to me until i’ve had my coffee” needs. Thor and Jessica? Are an enigma at the moment. Jessica and Hulk would have the same relationship as Valkyrie has with Hulk and Jessica would fall in love with Bruce as he geekily explains the new things he’s into. But she wouldn’t know how to be around Bruce. Jessica and Loki get along because of the similarities they have.

5. I do roleplay season 3 Jessica. I love the whole thing going in that season. Her loss of spleen. The hottie she’s with. Gillian. I just do not roleplay her as forgiving Trish. I believe Jessica wouldn’t be able to get past her “sister” killing her mother especially after all that time. When she knew how desperate Jessica was for family. She does her parallel hunt for the man who stabbed her, when he kills Dorothy she leaves an i’m sorry note but apart from that, that’s it. She even helps the government track Trish down and take her to the Raft.

6. Due to the all the blows to the abdomen and being thrown through windows, Jessica can’t actually get pregnant. All sorts of scar tissue etc prevents her from carrying to term. Since I have never experienced this myself I just mention that she cannot have children. There are exceptions that have of course interfered with this.

THERE IS MORE...BUT I DON’T REMEMBER IT AT THIS MOMENT...SO YEAH

#ooc #the mun talks the muse #about the muse things #muse relevant #relevant

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l0andbehold · 3 years

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best tv, movies, & music of 2020

If I leaned into one hobby during this trashfire of a year, it was consuming media. Me and my poor little astigmatized eyes observed a rigorous nightly schedule of Netflix and chill, Hulu and disassociate, Starz and eternal scream, etc., etc.

I never ever do this but maybe I'll start doing it yearly. Here are my favorite things I watched and listened to in 2020, in no particular order. (And if something you loved isn’t here, that’s okay! Different tastes, but also, there are a lot of new things I skipped, especially shows with dark themes or lots of violence.)

Television

Betty, season 1 (HBO)

Water with cucumber and lime. Stepping across an autumn leaf-littered sidewalk in thick-soled boots. Lying on a floatie in a pool mid-summer. In the same vein, Betty refreshes. Based on Crystal Moselle’s Skate Kitchen, Betty serializes the adventures of a group of energetic and beautiful gen Z girls trying to take a bite out of New York City’s men-dominated skateboard scene. The series is sweet and naturalistic, and deftly handles issues of family strife, workplace racism, and sexual assault. It was an oasis in a year of overwhelm.

Vida, season 3 (Starz)

I’ve loved Vida from season 1 but it took the panny for me to sit down and get caught up. Vida follows two estranged sisters who move back to East LA to run their mother’s bar after her sudden death. I often disagree with the show’s politics (e.g., its ethos is more pro-gentrification than not, the utter lack of Afro-Latinx cast members); nevertheless, Vida handles issues of legacy, intimacy, and queer identity with tenderness. Mishel Prada is mesmerizing in her portrayal of Emma, who finally lets love in. This is by far the most underrated show of the decade.

P-Valley, season 1 (Starz)

One of the rules of Mississippi strip club The Pynk? No motherfucking chips! This specificity and humor is all up and through P-Valley. Creator Katori Hall’s world is so well-built that you can almost feel the club’s dim interior and lithe dancers. Mercedes, a tough veteran dancer trying hard to leave The Pynk, and the club’s proprietor, non-binary femme sensation Uncle Clifford, are engaging, charismatic leads. Unapologetically Black and southern, P-Valley is critically acclaimed for good reason and I can’t wait for season 2.

Almost made the list: The Flight Attendant (HBO Max), How to with John Wilson (HBO)

Movies

Palm Springs (Hulu)

I’ve always had a little crush on Andy Samberg because he’s extremely good at his job--being funny. Yes, he’s funny in this film, and he also perfectly reflects the weariness and nihilism of millennials today. Cristin Milioti is an excellent co-lead who uses her large eyes to express at turns annoyance, excitement, and pain. A film about reliving the same day, every day, was kind of cruel to watch during the heart of my quarantine, but Palm Springs was a sumptuous, romantic companion.

Disclosure (Netflix)

I really don’t like when media about marginalized groups is billed as “much needed” or “powerful”. It’s patronizing and flattens the creator’s artistic vision. So, I won’t use that language but I will acknowledge how much I learned from Disclosure and how affecting it was. It offers a deep dive into representations of trans folks in mainstream media and is extremely well-edited and cohesive. Importantly, it was produced by trans people and directed by trans filmmaker Sam Feder. Watch it.

The Old Guard (Netflix)

There was a joke floating around on Twitter about how a lot of women never thought we liked action movies until we saw The Old Guard, then we realized, oh, we just need to see women in instrumental roles! Beyond Charlize Theron’s layered performance as an immortal baddie, the story is inventive and engrossing. The Old Guard is super rewatchable and a lot of fun.

Almost made the list: I’m Thinking of Ending Things (Netflix), On the Record (HBO Max), Tender, Onward

Music

Favorite albums

Jaguar

Victoria Monét is a star. Maybe it’s because I’m in my thirties but I had never heard of her before my friend urged me to listen to Jaguar (shoutout to Kayla, thank you, Kayla!). I like my R&B warm and well-written and cozy. Victoria’s voice is smooth and polished and evokes the sensuality of jazz singers from the 30s. When she croons “had a feeling we would take it this far / when you kissed me in your car”, it’s easy to tell why Kehlani fell for her. This is, as they say, an album with no skips.

Suga & Good News

Megan Thee Stallion’s year was marred by a horrible event--she was shot. And then, social media trolls did their best to blame her for the shooting because the curse of being a Black woman is that we are never allowed to be victims. Even still, she bookmarked either side of that event with an EP, Suga, and her first full-length album Good News. They are strong projects (although I prefer Suga) because our girl is as clever and versatile as ever, constantly one-upping herself and her featured artists with rhyme after rhyme. Hotties rejoice, the champ is here to stay.

Ungodly Hour

Chloe x Halle have cemented their status as Those Girls. Ungodly Hour is a near-perfect album and showcases their startlingly beautiful harmonies and earwormy, haunting lyrics. This album was a key piece of fuel as I hammered away at my dissertation prospectus this summer. I would wiggle my shoulders in time with “Do It”, belt out “Tipsy”, and ignore the catch in my throat when “Lonely” was on. Importantly, Chloe and Halle are settling into adulthood and the darker themes on this project reflect that. Believers and skeptics alike, Ungodly Hour is for you.

Almost made the list: Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated Side B, Emily King - Sides, Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure?

Favorite tracks

Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

“Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me”-- Do I need to go on???

Aminé - “Compensating”

Aminé is attractive and competent and so is this single. It’s the perfect summer track.

Giveon - “Heartbreak Anniversary”

His voice haunts me. When I first heard Giveon, I looked up as if to ask who is that? He’s model-beautiful and his deep baritone lingers in the room after the song ends.

Jessie Ware - “Ooh La La”

I have loved Jessie Ware since her first album Devotion, which was firmly R&B. This single and accompanying album are disco/funk territory. “Ooh La La” is uplifting and well-suited to Jessie’s warm soprano.

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lifewithjessi101 · 4 years

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Get to Know Jessi 101: My Favorite Movies

I have so many favorite movies it’s hard to just choose one! So I compiled a group of my favorite movies. Here we go!

Footloose Remake in 2011

Who doesn’t love the story of Footloose? And come on Kenny Wormald is a total hottie! The remake still follows the storyline of the original but with a new young cast featuring Julianne Hough, Miles Teller, Andie MacDowell, and Dennis Quaid. I have seen both Footloose movies and I don’t if it’s because I’m of that younger generation but the remake will always be my favorite. Along with the soundtrack! Fake Id by Big and Rich is one of my all-time favorite songs. Of course, the dancer in me even learned the line dance from the movie to go with it.

Dirty Dancing (1987)

I know another dance film but are you really surprised? This is a classic! From the music to the choreography this movie set the bar for all dancing films to follow. The iconic lift in the last number… I have actually done a lift like that in one of my college dance numbers, and yes it is as scary as it looks but also electrifying for an adrenaline junky. Songs that are still popular today are included in this film like The Time of My Life and Be My Baby. If you haven’t heard those songs, I’m sorry but you must be living under a rock.

Any Nicholas Sparks Movie

I love his books so you know I’m gonna love his movies, even if they do make me cry… EVERY single one of them. My top three favorites would definitely have to be the classic The Notebook, The Longest Ride, and Safe Haven. They always follow the books so well too. You know sometimes movies can go out off to a different land nowhere near relevant to the books. I appreciate it when books and movies are very similar. Nicholas Sparks achieves that in each one.

Marvel Movies

I have seen them all! It’s something about the adventure and action that leaves you on the edge of your seat with each film. The characters are so well thought too. We know their storyline and history through each passing film. The scriptwriting is also amazing. Marvel knows how to through comedy also into each one of their films. My favorite Marvel movie would have to be Avengers Age of Ultron. I absolutely love Scarlett Witch.

Kissing Booth from Netflix

This cring worthy Netflix romantic comedy just makes me happy each time I watch it. This film came out when I was going through a very messy breakup. Each night that I had a bad day I would spend a couple of hours watching the film and I would feel better. Don’t ask me how I just did somehow. It also helps that the male cast members are very cute and Joey King is sooo funny and an amazing actress no matter what role she is playing.

Beauty and the Beast (the original)

Everyone has their one favorite all-time Disney movie. Mine is this one. My favorite Disney Princess is also Belle. Don’t ask me why as a child I loved the movie with the big scary beast in it but I did. While all my friends were playing in Cinderella dresses I was in my bright yellow Belle dress constantly. I have yet to see the real-life film with Emma Watson, because I know I’m going to have high expectations and don’t want to be disappointed. Should I watch it?

Double Teamed

I had this movie on VHS that’s how old it is. If you know what movie this is we can be ultimate best friends. Along with Beauty and the Beast, this was another Disney movie that was constantly being played when I was growing up. I loved it. This movie is based on real twins making their journey to the WNBA. If you haven’t seen this movie I really recommend you watch it.

The Star Wars Movies

I was introduced to these films in high school and have loved them ever since. I’m a huge Anakin, Darth Vader, and Padme fan. I would definitely be on the dark side sorry. My favorite movie out of the series is Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. I’m so glad that Disney+ has all the movies to stream whenever I feel like having a Star Wars movie marathon.

What are your favorite movies? Leave a comment below. As always be sure to follow along on all my social media platforms to see into my everyday life. From daily insta story vlogs, OOTDs, thrifting trips, travel adventures, and of course baby Pumkin. I can’t wait to get to know you all more through this fun blogging adventure. Laters babes!

#lifestyleblog #lifewithjessi101 #blogbabe #movies

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tellywoodtrash · 5 years

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sanjivani 14.10.19 lb

pft. false alarm.

also ishani ran up there and sid didn't? unrealistic. blocked.

ALSO, ouff ishani, you're a doctor; stop getting into a panic and yelling OMG GET UPPPPPP like the rest of us plebs.

juhiiiiiiiiiii i love you, you are bestttttt.

oh boy, what news? aaj kal "news" word se darr lagta hai, coz there's literally nothing good on the fucking news.

AWWWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSSSSS JESSI GOT INTO THE CLINICAL TRIAL IN HOUSTON!

jess ne toh 7 janmon ki bucket list bana di, and wants to fulfill it all now now now.

of course. financial issues.

sid is like “paiso ka jugaad kar lenge....”, and instantly vardhan is like biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch; coz he knows sid's about to start frauding some rich peeps around here, lol.

juhi seems to have a pretty hard to believe solution but ok. i don't wanna dwell on this reality waala problem in my fantasy feel-good show.

where dr. shashank and his tumour headache disappear off to btw? anjali, maybe you should check on him.

vardhan is such a grinch, lord. man, can you just die?

and rishabh's nice mood was too good to last as well. he's back to hatin' on sid. (for what reason????? he didn’t even do anything to you today!!!?!!?)

stop bitching about my boy like this, fuckers. keedein padein tumhare mooh mein.

NO. STOP OGLING ANJALI LIKE THIS. I HATE YOU.

ohhhhhhhhh no. ohhhhhhhh sid.

BTW WHO IS THIS GIRL WHO'S GETTING TO DANCE WITH ALL THE HOTTIES, HEIN????? FIRST RAHIL AND NOW THIS ONE ALSO???? TELL US YOUR SECRETS, SIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

fucking dumbass. wipe that grin off your face before i get into the screen and do it for ya.

lol what even is going on, literally no one else is dancing, is this whole event just an excuse for sid to get all up on all the girls around here??

rishabh is about to do mauke pe chauka, and y'know what, i'm not so mad, lol. in your face, sid.

oh ho, compliment AND apology for posters. fake as fuck, but appreciated for the moment.

lmao the fuck is this idiot even doing???? i can't watch!!!!!!

oh damn, rishabh got moves.

ghungroo nahi, tera mooh todna hai, sid. idiot fellow.

OH. DON'T LIKE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE HUH??? FUCKING DUMBASS. PLAY STUPID GAMES, WIN STUPID PRIZES.

LMAO I LOVE HOW BOTH ISHANI AND RISHABH ARE JUST FOCUSED ON MAKING SID AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU INVOLVED IN THIS SITUATION IS SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT, I CAN’T WITH Y’ALL.

oh ho. OHHHHHHHHHHHH HO.

also aye chal na, take this neanderthal act somewhere else.

tere mooh pe na maar de yeh taali, sid?

OH HO ISHANI YOU'RE SO EASILY PLACATED. EITHER HAVE THIS AIR OF NONCHALANCE AT ALL TIMES, OR HOLD ON TO THAT ANGER.

"mera naam bade bade akshar mein likhna, sabko pata chalna chahiye ki jessi sirf jignesh ki hai!"

"tum kaho toh main tumhara naam apne maathe pe likhwaaloon?"

LOL MAN, I LOVE JESSI THE MOST.

oh boy why he sending everyone away?

ohhhhhhhhh jessi, false alarm nahi thaaaaaa. also ouff, this siddhu is worming his way back into my heart.

"jab kissi se itna pyaar ho jaaye na, toh unki koi bhi baat, chaahe woh kitni bhi badi ho, chupaani padd jaaye toh chupa lenge. unki khushi ke liye, khud taqleef seh lenge."

HEY SIDDHANT, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA BITCHASS SACRIFICIAL BULLSHIT ARE YOU IMPLYING YOU'RE GONNA PULL?????????

fuckkkkkkkkkk, stupid boy is back in my heart even though i don't want him there, coz i know he’s about to do some real dumb shit.

"yeh kaisa function hai, itna rukha sukha, kuch karo, naach gaana vaghera..."

"vardhan sir mera mood nahi hai." lol understandable; sid ne patta jo kaat diya tera.

"tumhara mood nahi hai? tumhe anarkali banke logon ka mann behlaane ke liye nahi keh raha hoon!" ok i legit lold.

oh boy is he implying what i thought he was implying??? aur rishabh ghadde ko samajh aayi bhi ki nahi?????

SO SUBTLE. FUCKING N0OBS.

"chhe baje."

"kya?"

"jisse tu dhoond rahi hai, woh chhe baje khada hai." [ecstatic tone] "CHHE BAJE!"

lmaoooooooooooooo asha the real G. (but her accent is gone???? they should just have had chandni play a new character instead of asha. coz i like chandni, she just doesn’t fit asha’s character.)

aklsjflskjflkslkj rahil.

ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. asha wrote sid's name in her mehendi, didn't she??

mamu's here with...... mehendi for sid?

lol ofc rahil has to pour not only ghee, but also petrol, kerosene, and all other available flammable substances on this fire and uksaaofy mamu.

hein yeh kaunsa katti hai? humaare yahaan toh katti pinky finger dikha ke hota hai????

pls to leave your local katti conventions in the comments, for anthropological research purposes.

they have successfully hounded himmmmmmmm into it. sakjfkjfsljflk this ought to be goooooood.

asha toh up to bhaaaaaari kaand.

what nonsense, who gets something written on them and doesn't look???

"yeh bataa tere dil mein poori ki poori kaun hai?"

"maamu uska naam I se... I.... I... I.... I don't know maamu... kaun hai?????" pfffffffffffffft this shadyass fuck i love him more than anyone else in this showwwwwwww

lol rishabh finally figured out which salim-anarkali vardhan was talking about.

waah rishabh quite good at the emotional blackmail. yaar iss bande ko negative kyun banaya, itna masoom sa face hai iska, dil maanta nahi isko hate karne ko!

anjali rushing here and forbidding out of what looks to be genuine worry for dad's health.

MAN SHASHANK ALWAYS HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE IN-JOKES WITH ANJALI; HOW CAN SHE THINK SHE'S SECOND TO ANYONE WITH HIM??????

wow anjali is getting really hyper.

shashank, honestly, is this a good idea? you were clutching at your head/neck like..... minutes ago.

shady fucks, shady fucks, shaaaaaaaaaady fucks.

oh anjali.

"aap toh jaanti hai humein nachna nahi aata. humaari izzat aapke hawaale."

oh ho you didn't have to make it all sultry like that. Y'ALL NEED TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT BETWEEN YOURSELVES AND SOON.

does aman levy a high 5 tax as dj? har koi usko dance karne se pehle high 5 diye jaa hai.

me at all social events, wishing i was back home chilling with my cat, blissfully braless.

eventually working up to being this mad when the people i’m with just don’t take the hint that i was ready to leave 2 hours ago.

fwding the naach gaana.

but lord, juhi is so damn beautiful. if this was a different show in a different land, i'd be shipping juhi/anjali coz honestly........... fuck, the hotness.

tell me this doesn’t exactly mirror sid/ishani watching the other dance with someone else.

vardhan, burn in hell, fucker. honestly.

yup, asha wrote sid's name in ishani's mehendi.

wooooooooooooooop.

oh boy, guddu mama. THAT'S NOT THE COUPLE YOU SHOULD BE MAKING AWKWARDDDDDDDDD. FOCUS ON SIDDHU!

goood lordddddddddddd juhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. ek conversation, ek din mein kitniiiiiiiiiii baaaaaaaar dohraogi????? matbal..... upar tak lift jaa nahi raha kya????? problem kya hai? nahi batao mujhe. does he have to draw it out for you, pictionary style??? mime it charades style??? what????????

also, appropriate placement of the song's "ae le!" lmaooooooo

oh shit. grabbing.

well. guess we got a definitive answer to that one.

welp. it's been a good 3, 4-ish weeks knowing you as a good, sorted dude with minimal mental complexes, siddhant. bade hi dukh ke saath, we'll be reverting to our regularly scheduled programming of thinking men are fucking dipshits even if (probably???) well-intentioned. 🙄🙄🙄

#sanjivani #sj lbs #episode liveblogs

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umbureraakademi · 5 years

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Introductory Note About the AU & Other Chapters & Face Claims

-a/n start-

[Potential spoilers for anyone who hasn’t seen or finished TUA Netflix series but seriously how could you stop yourself from watching such a captivating show.]

Word Count: 1479

Ahh the awkward morning after chapters.

-a/n end-

The Hargreeves Case

Chapter 13

Jessica knocked at the door to Monica’s room for the second time when her first batch of knocks elicited no response. Ben was in the kitchen cleaning up after he made a stack of pancakes for breakfast.

Not looking up from what he was doing he said, “Let her sleep, love. She probably had a rough night last night.”

“But I can’t wait to hear about it! Plus, the pancakes are getting cold.” Jessica whined, knocking at Monica’s door again. “Maica! Rise and shine, darling. Ben made pancakes!” when there was still no response she knocked again, continuing, “C’mon, gurl! I can’t wait to hear about your shitty date with that son of a--”

Jessica was unable to finish her sentence as the door creaked open and she was greeted with the sight of Diego in his shirtless, towel-wrapped-around-his-waist glory. Since it was impossible they didn’t notice him going out to take a shower he probably just picked it off Monica’s rack so he wouldn’t be standing completely naked in front of Monica’s roommates.

“M-manly… man…” Jessica stuttered, obviously taken by surprise at seeing another pair of abs that weren’t Ben’s as she couldn’t help but look him up and down. Ben noticed the change in her tone immediately and stopped abruptly, his gaze now leering at the tan-skinned hottie standing right before his girlfriend.

“Jessica, right?” Diego said calmly.

“R-right, I’m Ben, that’s Jessica. I mean… I’m Jessica, that’s Ben.” Jessica responded with a nervous chuckle, screwing up with her words. She had to tear her gaze away from Diego as she tried to take a peek inside Monica’s room to look for her best friend. She found Monica’s sleeping body still wrapped comfortably under the blankets.

“I’ll go wake her up.” Diego said.

“Sure, that’d be awesome.” at that Diego smiled coyly before he closed the door and Jessica exhaled, as if she had been holding her breath the entire time she was conversing with him. She turned and caught Ben’s gaze, the expression in his eyes showing how obviously displeased he was at the display, his hands also on his hips.

“Really?” he said.

“How do you expect me to have been prepared for that?!”

Inside Monica’s Room

Diego hung Monica’s towel back on its rack before sitting down on the bed next to Monica. Feeling the other side of the bed sink due to his weight, Monica started stirring from her sleep. She groaned sleepily as she stretched her arms, and slowly opened her eyes, turning to Diego.

“Good morning.” Diego greeted.

“Last night was for real after all.” Monica said with a smile. “Good morning. No kisses please. Morning breath.”

Diego chuckled before saying, “I met your roommates. I woke up when she wouldn’t stop knocking at the door.” he said.

Looking at Diego, Monica raised an eyebrow before saying, “Naked?”

“I borrowed your towel.”

“So half-naked?”

“Eh, I’m pretty confident with my body.” Diego said with a shrug.

“Huh, well I hope she enjoyed the view.” Monica said, laughing at the thought. Stretching for one last time she sat up and slid off her bed. “C’mon let’s get dressed for breakfast.” she said picking up and throwing Diego his wifebeater, pants, and boxers. As Diego started to get dressed Monica started picking up her own clothes, grabbing a pair of more comfortable shorts from her closet and Diego’s button-down shirt.

“I’m borrowing this, by the way.” she declared.

A Few Minutes Later

When Diego and Monica stepped out of her room both Ben and Jessica were sitting on the couch, as if waiting for them to come out. They looked like they were having a serious conversation before noticing them, at which Jessica got off the couch and made her way to them.

“Good morning! Did you sleep well?” she said with fake enthusiasm as Ben glared briefly at Diego’s direction before looking away and pretended to be busy with his phone, though they didn’t notice.

“Uhh… yeah…?” Monica said slowly, creeped out at Jessica being out-of-character.

“Good! Good, good, good.” she said repeatedly with an awkward giggle. “Um… Maica there’s something I want to show you in mine and Ben’s room it’s suuuper important.”

“Fuck, you noticed the missing condom already?” Monica blurted.

“What?” Jessica and Ben said in unison.

“What?” Monica responded hastily, as if it would erase what she just said as Diego pinched the bridge of his nose in embarrassment.

“Uhh… no, silly! Umm… Ben and I got new sheets and I wanted to know what you think! Yeah, that’s it.” Jessica said.

“Uhh… why?” Monica asked.

“Just fucking come with me, bitch--umm…” clearing her throat Jessica continued, this time tugging at Monica’s arm and giving it a squeeze, “C’mon, we value your opinion so much! Diego you can help yourself to some pancakes while waiting for Maica.” as she offered this she heard Ben scoff in disgust, prompting her to turn to him briefly to give him a warning look before turning back to Monica and Diego with her fake smile.

“Aww but I want pancakes too…” Monica whined.

“I’ll leave some for you.” Diego said. “Thanks for the offer. Hope you don’t take too long, though.”

“Oh, we’ll be out in a jiffy! Let’s go, Maica.” Jessica said as she literally pulled Monica towards hers and Ben’s room while Diego made his way to the dining area, Ben watching his every move through his peripheral vision.

Inside Jessica and Ben’s Room

As Jessica shut the door she turned furiously at her best friend, whom she found actually analyzing the sheets on their bed.

“Not a bad color you picked out this time.” Monica commented.

“Maica just what the fuck are you doing?!” Jessica hissed as she stomped closer to Monica.

“Umm… you asked for my opinion about your sheets and I’m giving them?”

“You know what I’m fucking talking about, bitch!” Jessica snapped, at this Monica said nothing and started fidgeting with her fingers like a child being scolded. “What the hell happened to ‘It’s not a big deal, Jessie. It’s not a date date it’s just a bet.’ or ‘Stop overreacting’.” she continued to say with a mocking tone, angrily making quotation mark gestures when she referred to what Monica told her before she left that night with Diego.

“Jessie, I’m sorry! I know what I said but he took me to a pizza parlor and an arcade and things got a bit heated after playing Just Dance…” Monica responded with a small voice.

“So are you just going to fall for any guy who’d feed you pizza and get all touchy with you during a video game?”

“That doesn’t sound too bad, you know… when you put it that way…”

“Maica you are unbelievable! Are you forgetting why you shouldn’t be involved with him in the first place?!”

“I didn’t forget…”

“Then explain why I opened your bedroom door to a half-naked Diego Hargreeves standing in front of me?!”

There was a pause before Monica said, “Did you enjoy the view?” at which Jessica slapped her on the arm. “Ow! Jessie, please--”

“Wait. Is that a hickey?!” Jessica exclaimed, pushing away some of Monica’s hair to get a clear view of the purplish red bruise Diego gave her last night.

“Uhh… if I said ‘yes’ will you let me borrow some of your turtle necks?”

“No.”

“Then… it’s not a hickey? I… hit my neck?” Monica lied unsuredly, prompting Jessica to roll her eyes.

“Jesus Christ… you’re even wearing his goddamn shirt.” Jessica commented and Monica responded by pulling the shirt’s collar to her nose and giving it a big whiff.

“Goddamn he smells so good… want to smell him? C’mon, smell him.” she said while trying to push one of the shirt sleeves at Jessica’s nose.

“Stop it!” Jessica demanded, slapping away her hand, making Monica pout and look down, fidgeting again with her fingers. Heaving a heavy sigh Jessica softened her tone, continuing, “Maica, honey, you know I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Jessie, please just give him a chance. This time it’s different. He’s different. I’m different from who I was before and you know that.” Monica pleaded. “I… really like Diego.” she confessed.

Jessica took a moment to think, crossing her arms across her chest as she looked at her best friend’s genuinely pleading expression. “Okay, but if he hurts you just one time I’m not going to fucking care that he has ‘superpowers’ I’m going to knife him myself.”

Monica smiled softly as she said, “Thank you.”

“C’mere you piece of shit.” Jessica said as she opened her arms wide and Monica stepped closer for the two to hug. “Now let’s get Ben in here we’re going to have to lay some ground rules if another male is going to be staying here from time to time.”

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iammarylastar · 6 years

Photo

6. Back to Life.

" Morning Cup" Angie smiles.

"Morning love" I smile back, rolling to my side so I face her, eliciting more mewls from the sleeping babies.

I brush lightly both of their curls, resettling Belle's head and Anna's feet against my chest, then cup their mother's cheek.

"You good?" She whispers, nuzzling into my touch.

"Yeah. Never get tired of that kind of wake up."

" Wanna cuddle with me?" I ask after a beautiful, everlasting stare, where we silently told ourselves all that words couldn't express. As much as I love having my babies with me, it's fair to say I really need... you know, her.

I lean forward to kiss her forehead before carefully gathering the twins, my flesh and bones and take them to the tiny bed they've been sharing since their births. Turning and snuggling, my cuties settle themselves half over each other, Anna covering her sister with her arm, Belle nuzzling in her neck.

Jesus this sigh only nearly has me in tears, I protectively cover them with the sheet and place their blue blankies under their arms.

Angie sewed them from my blue shirt, the one she made for me in our former life, the one I was wearing the night before I left for the rescue mission. The one who still smelled like me when the girls were born, Angie confessed me yesterday, despite all the tears she left on it, crying over and over again when she figured out I wouldn't come back.

A last kiss on their sleepy heads and I crawl back to bed with my love, the fucking love of my life, who I've been missing so deep, for so long.

We intertwin our limbs together and creep as close as we could, my hand sneaking under the shirt she's wearing, her hand on my bare chest.

Our bodies quickly find their place, like they used to, and we both sigh in contentment, unexpectedly followed by our babies hums. Like parents like twins, we just laugh at the sync.

" Nice shirt, fits you." I slowly stroke up and down her spine, making her shiver.

"Thank you. Notice, no coffee stain. I took good care of your shirts since they were the last things I got from you." She jokes.

I could have laugh at the coffee thing, but those last words cut me off. A huge wave of sadness crashes me down and I just succumb to desperation. My smirk vanishes as pain takes over me and I can't hold back the river of tears that uncontrollably burn my cheeks.

Burying my head and my shame in her neck, I let go all the unsustainable guilt that still floods in my veins.

"I'm sorry... Oh Angie I'm so sorry..." I manage to mutter between sobs, as warm tears wet her neck.

Shuddering, my voice unsteady and trembling, I keep the words flowing out.

" Angie, I swear I did everything I could to find you back. I've never stopped searching for you... but... I... I'm so sorry I left you. I'm so ashamed you got to go through this. It's my fault..."

I'm actually crying like a baby, shushed and lulled by my sweet love which has me cry harder.

"Shhh... It's OK. It's fine honey."

"Please forgive me Angie. It kills me it took me so long..."

" You're back to me. To us. Nothing else matters."

She pulls me on top of her and kisses my temples, then pushes me back so she can stare at me, forgiving all my weaknesses and failures.

"Thank you. For fighting for us."

"Oh God Angie, you don't know how much I love you."

"Show me." She mouthes, the ring of her lips calling mines.

And that's what I do. I make love to her, slowly, deeply, tenderly. There's nothing about having sex, nothing about seeking any kind of release, nothing like the hot and sexy prowesses we used to have. It was just about feeling complete again. Feeling alive again. Being home. Me and my love, finally united as one.

Resting on my elbows as I slowly thrust in and out of her, exploring the slightest piece of her, I don't stop staring at her, but to kiss her lips, her soul and some warm tears. Her hips move in sync with me, welcoming each of my move, our skins sweating all the love we have for each other, until we're both taken by a blissful orgasm that leaves us breathless and utterly satisfied.

Can't get tired of that kind of wake up, definitely. My love humming her last waves of pleasure under me, her hands on my lower back, keeping me from rolling to the side because "she loves my weight on her" as she told me on our first time together. For Heaven 's sake, make it happen every single day.

"Marry me Angie. Marry me. Today. Now. I can't wait any longer for you to be my wife."

She gives me the sweetest smile, stroking my jawline with the tip of her forefinger.

"Actually I already am." She mocks me.

"What?" Today was supposed to be quiet and uneventful. If you wanted to surprise me, please do it yesterday.

"How do you figure out I could be your widow if we weren't actually married?" She smiles.

"Did I miss something? Cause all I know is our wedding was a fucking disaster to which I even couldn't attend." I narrow my eyes.

"After Gessepp was impeached, Jessie and I were offered to go back to the US. Jess earned a spousal and child support from the court, but I was without resources, without you and with child. Debrah, remember Deb'?"

I nod. Oh yes tell me about her. She led me to you honey.

" She faked the date on the marriage license with the help of the pastor, so I was sure to draw a pension but, I didn't plan to stay your widow forever. I knew, I felt you were alive."

My wife is the best. A real badass. Debrah already told me about that but I haven't realized it meant we were married. It might have saved all the girls lives, but it feels as frustrating as it sounds.

" That was smart and nice of them. But I want a real wedding. One I actually attend. One where I can watch you walk down the aisle, one where I can marvel at you in a wedding dress. I want to see your face when I recit my vows, I want to hear your voice saying 'I do'. I want to take your hand and slide a ring on your finger. Oh and I want to kiss you before the pastor says I can." I add excitedly, which makes her laugh.

"That sounds nice. And romantic. Though I was expecting you to talk about the honeymoon." That beautiful hottie knows me so well.

Having sex with her just minutes ago has erased all the shyness and weirdness that has stuck to my skin since yesterday. I'm now back to my old self, kinky and funny, ready to tease her to death. It seems all my confidence is back, so does my arousal, I'm horny as fuck.

"Oh darling, I'm going to take you all the ways possible and after what I'm going to do to you, nobody could call you an angel anymore. I read the Kama Sutra and I'm ready to study each page with you."

"Kama what?" She lifts an eyebrow questioningly.

"It's a Hindi book, pretty popular in Asia."

That part of my Japanese education was pretty hard to handle... all by myself. I had Sensei giving me tips to maximize the efficiency of each position, to make the girl scream your name louder, I was struggling not to fall in love with Mikomi who waved her stunning beauty under my nose day after day, I haven't fucked anyone for months , even not my right hand despite all the erotic dreams that woke me up at the crack of dawn... Once he said I looked so miserable and offered me to visit Manek who surely would take care of my source of unease. Manek was the professional sex goddess of the village, known to be extremely talented. I immediately ran away to jump into the nearest pool, needing cold water and a look at those ugly coi carps to cool me down. I swear Sensei laughed so hard he fell on his back.

"Stop showing off by using words nobody can understand, smart ass. Is it something like the holy Bible or another scripture?" She cutely questions.

I can't help myself but laugh out loud. The Holy Bible! A devilish grin widens on my lips, I make my best to keep a straight face, enlightening her with my best baryton sultry voice.

"It's scripture yes, it talks about love and what a husband has to do to pleasure his wife. Pretty much detailed pictures of how a man and a woman can... nest together."

She bursts into uncontrollable and loud laugher, making the twins startle and has to cover her mouth with her hand and bite her lips not to wake up the whole house.

I love hearing my angel laugh out loud, her eyes sparkling with happiness. Happiness. That's something I'm gonna get used to from now on.

Once again my feelings overflow and my heart speaks for me:

"I want to raise our daughters with you. I want to make more babies with you. I want to touch your belly as they grow inside you. I want to be with you for the birth. I just want to be here, happy with you forever."

"Like I'm gonna let you go." She laughs. "And wait to spend just a week taking care of the girls before speaking of having other babies. Because between all the sex you promised me and raising baby twins, you'd be pretty exhausted, you big stud."

We both laugh, it feels so good to be close again.

"I'm gonna be the man you deserve. Here." I roll to my other side to dig out from the pocket of my trousers the precious ring I promised myself to give her in person, at any cost.

"This is the first thing I did when I arrived in America. It took me a whole month to earn the money but it helped me to keep going on."

"What if you didn't have found me?" She teases me, rising an eyebrow.

" So I would have asked the first chick named Angie to marry me. Look, our names are engraved in the inner ring." I make the ring roll between my fingers, so she can read the message "Angie I love thee Cup"

"Stop this." She chuckles and slaps my shoulder, before grabbing the ring and sliding it around her finger.

"What?" I ask. I know I'm terrible at proposing. Last time I did, I had no ring and Angie practically said the words for me. This time sucks as well, at least I have the ring but it seems it's not romantic as she expected.

"Stop being that cute. You, Softie..."

Softie... I don't feel like I'm that whiny baby anymore. I've cried enough for a lifetime, from now on I'm going to be the man Sensei taught me. Strong and unbreakable. Head of my family, caring father for my children, trustful husband for my wife.

"OK, so how do you want me to be, Ma'am?"

"You said something about nesting with me? I'm curious as to what you have in mind..." she says seductively.

"Ahmmm, sure the girls won't wake up?" I glance at the cot where our babies lie.

She nods. "No worry in that department, they sleep like rocks till 7. We got at least one hour, if it's long enough for you."

I smirk widely, then roll back so I hover over her.

"Let's have some fun then."

My lips work in tandem with my hand to arouse her whole body, stroking, licking and kissing languourously every piece of flesh I can, until I meet her glistening folds. Kneeling between her thighs, I grab her hips and jerk her waist on my lap, the head of my dick red and throbbing in anticipation. I bend down to kiss her belly while my cock thrusts into her core, eliciting the sexiest sound that has ever passed her lips. With the tip of her toes resting on the mattress, her knees each sides of my hip, she starts to move her waist up and down, swallowing me deeper and deeper. Fuck, it feels so fucking good I can't hold back a grunt, way much louder than expected.

From where I stand, I have the best view of my stunning beauty, waving around my cock, her breasts bouncing rapidly with each move she makes. Searching for some leverage to deepen my thrusts, I grab the back of her neck and let the pad of my thumb wandering along her lower lip. My goddess languidly sucks and nips it before trailing open wet kisses along my palm and on my tattoo.

I close my eyes, trying not to explode now. She asked me about the ink on my wrist last night, but I was not ready to dive in those bittersweet memories then.

One day I'll tell you the whole story my love, I'll tell you about Mikomi, I'm sure you'll understand. You're both strong and beautiful. You both saved my life, you both are my anchors.

Angie's mewls have me back from my thoughts, just to witness her pulling at my arms to sit up on my lap and straddle me. I growl deep in my chest and start eating her breasts and the flesh of her neck. Fuck, this woman is the Kama Sutra by herself. I have such a flame in my chest, she's totally consuming me. Cupping her face, I cover her mouth with mine and kiss her soul, until my lungs burn.

I don't really know how I manage to do that but I sit up to deepen my thrusts, bucking my hips to meet her owns as she pushes herself down on me. My angel looks more than a tigress, her eyes so hungry for me it could be scary. Marvelling at her sweet face as she's about to lose it, I myself feel that fire exploding in my lower belly. I can't help but panting heavily, failing miserably to stay quiet. Angie is not far behind and start to mewl louder and louder at each thrust. I could, I should shush her but the sounds she makes are so sexy and hot I don't want to miss the slightest note.

Our bodies glistening with sweat, my grip on her neck not safe anymore, I slam my hand on her butt, increasing the friction where our waists meet. Far over the edge, Angie screams out in pleasure, her O face finishes to kill me.

I follow within the second, spilling my seed deep inside her, the sound leaving my lungs as strong as my orgasm.

Panting madly, our foreheads touching, we both ride the waves of pleasure that keep shaking our world. Falling back on the mattress, Angie lets out a loud " God, fuck!" which almost shocked me.

It doesn't stay unnoticed by the other inhabitants of the house either, giggles and whispers coming from the other side of the bedroom's wall.

"First thing in the morning: I'm gonna kick out my sister and his silly hubby so we could have this on the regular." Angie states.

I look at her, puzzled and amused.

"Yeah, They totally can settle down in the barn." She laughs.

"Who's that mean person who would trade their family for sex?" I joke.

"Honey, let me tell you something. Last time I used my vagina was to push out two heads large like watermelons. I'm not sorry to finally enjoy a good fuck with you and I'm fed up with holding back my screams. I want to feel free to cry out your name as loud as needed and I expect the same from you. Jessica and Cole would rather become homeless than witness what happens between us."

I chuckle deeply, stroking her cheek. "Who are you? Who's my shy angel gone?" Though I like having my badass wife cursing like a sailor.

"She gave birth, raised two kids and has starved for her husband for about 20 months." She grabs my hand and runs her finger along my ink.

"Who's she?" She whispers, her eyes straight in mines.

"Who?"

"That woman you don't want to talk me about."

Shit. I didn't think this would come up so fast. What can I say? Where should I beginn?

" Cup, whatever happened, I won't mind. I don't want you to keep anything secret from me. I need you back, totally, don't let a piece of your heart behind, talk to me."

She pauses, her sweet gaze wandering from my sealed lips to my wrist.

"The ink was for her?"

" No. It was for you."

And I open my heart to my wife, telling her everything about Mikomi, how she gave me hope and strength, how she saved me, she nursed me, she made me a man again. I told her about her beauty, her grace, her kindness. I told her the fear, the nightmares, the feelings, the kiss.

I stop, waiting to see disappointment or sadness in her eyes. But all I see is pride and love. She's amazing.

"I owe her. I'm glad you had her by your sides."

"Daddy!" A little voice comes from behind me. Belle, my princess, is calling me. Not her ma, me.

I jump into my pants and walk up to their cot. Both of my babies are up on their fatty legs, holding out their chubby arms to me.

"Pick Daddy!" Anna begs me.

Kneeling down to level their tiny faces, I'm hugged and kissed by those little cutie pies, who I hug and kiss back.

"Hello gorgeous ladies. Slept well?" They both nod as I pick them up, each baby finding their places into my arms.

"So tell me, what are we up to? What's the first thing you do in the morning?"

"Cuddle!!!" They scream happily.

"Oh OK! Let's cuddle with your ma." I'm totally spending the rest of my life in bed with my girls.

Turning around, I'm stopped in my tracks by the view. Angie is showering us with that sweet gaze of hers, wearing nothing but the most beautiful smile, her cheeks still red from our early morning sex. I'm hard in my pants in the seconds as my stunning angel slowly wrapped her naked self with the sheets, but it's not the right time, I need my babies to distract me from all the images flashing in my head.

"Who's in for a tickling session?" I grinn at my wife while curling my fingers behind the babies fatty legs. I earn worms wiggles and mice giggles and walk us back to bed.

"A little bird told me your ma really likes this." I tease her, as she nods her head no.

I crawl to Angie, the devilish smirk on my lips ends up in a langourous kiss while my hands are creeping under the sheets, seeking her sensitive sides.

Scratching my 5 hours shadow on the extra soft skin of her jawline and neck, I finally find her most ticklish place, just next her belly button. She immediately burst into laugher, which has our daughters shrieking in delight.

Anna climbs up my back and clings at my neck, her tiny arms barely encircling it. Belle just claps her hands, jumping up and down on the bed. Both begging me either to stop and to go on.

Angie is helplessly fighting my grip, but there's no way I let her go.

I enjoy her offered neck and nip and kiss every piece I can. With all my girls laughing out loud around me, I feel... how could I put a word on it? I've already been sick with love for Angie, is it possible to be sick with happiness?

"Stop it, you know I always win at the games we play..." She smirks, obviously something in mind.

"Ah! Babe you've no idea what I went through to come back to you. Trust me, anything you could say will scare me." She won't win, not this time.

"Really?" She teases me with her eyebrow.

"I'm positive. I'm a tough, unbreakable man. Try anything you want, I'm in."

"Ok, remember you start this." She warns me.

"Go ahead love, I'm waiting." I shrug.

Facing the twins, she sings:

"Girls, who wants Daddy to change their diapers?"

Before I can object anything, my two little bunnies scream in unison.

"Meeeeeeee!"

Shit. I can't go back but how the hell can I manage to clean those tiny kitties with such big hands? Beside I've never done such a thing, I know any shit about babies.

She laughs at my defeated face. " Hey Mister "I'm a fucking good pilot, I can fly a bombardier with my eyes shut", are you scared of changing nappies?"

" Ahmmm, yes, you won. I think I'm going to need some help with that." I admit.

She leans to kiss my lips, then adds.

"Come on girls, let's teach this big guy to be a dad."

I sit up, one baby already hung on my neck and sigh. Let's go, the new life I've been dreaming of is waiting for me.

@captstefanbrandt @every-jai @sajess98 @kenzieam @writingismyhappytime @bookgirlthings @athe-krieger-der-elemente @nickysurfer28 @tigpooh67 @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @pathybo @onceinamillionlifetimes @narfea @desicoulter @cajunpeach @lunaschild2016 @jojuarez26 @jaiboomer11 @cherry-blossom90 @emilybrooksrpworld @herlysmind

#jai courtney #hope #morning cup #angelina jolie #fan fiction

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juangallojongaro · 3 years

Text

Best of 2020

Bruce Springsteen – “If I Was the Priest” Lauded as a return to form for the Boss (I found the album…middling?), this is the standout track on Letter to You. Written in the early seventies and first recorded this year, the track is a perfect slice of Springsteen pomp. A soaring Marian Devotional that recasts the Holy Family as prostitutes, saloon proprietors, and cowboys, it’s grandiose, kind of stupid, and perfectly Springsteen.

Cardi B (ft. Megan Thee Stallion) – “WAP” When I first heard it, I was wandering through one of those endless early quarantine days that have all blended together. It made me laugh, and since I’ve listened to it at least 20 times. Really grateful for Cardi B! LYRIC OF THE YEAR 1: “I want you to park that Big Mack Truck right in this little garage”

Colter Wall – “Big Iron” I spent the latter half of the year reading and thinking about American Westerns. This Marty Robbins cover is a delight. Wall has a remarkable voice, deep and tonal. The sparse instrumentation sets the table perfectly for the confrontation between the Arizona Ranger and the dastardly Texas Red.

Dogleg – “Kawasaki Backflip” The virus turned the volume down on everything and stretched it out. It’s a small and personal unfairness I wasn’t able to see this band shred through this spectacular song in some shitty hot venue while drunk on too expensive beer.

Doja Cat (ft. Nicki Minaj) – “Say So” So, this was a TikTok meme, right? I thought TikTok would fill the Vine-sized hole in my life (RIP, Vine, the only good social media); alas, it wasn’t to be, as it seems to be a platform built exclusively to encourage mediocre young white men to be mediocre-er. I digress; this song is fucking great. Built on the Niles Rodgers-esque disco guitar riff, the addition of a typically professional Minaj elevates this from confection to classic.

Dua Lipa – “Levitating” The lyrics are asinine (see: “My sugarboo/I’m levitating/The Milky Way is liberating/Yeah yeah yeah”). Pop music doesn’t have to have lyrics this dumb (see: above Cardi B re: the garage), but alas. It’s a shame, because the rest of this package is so slick, a pop fan’s wet dream of talent, groove, and Top 40 danceability.

Fiona Apple – “Shameika” The word genius is probably thrown around to liberally, but 2020 marked a moment when the culture seemed to coalesce to bestow the honorarium on Apple. And why not? She’s released five albums, all of them at least great. She’s a singular voice, making scabrous, confident, off-putting, kinda fucked up music (who among us didn’t hear her wail, “You raped me in the same bed your daughter was born in” and not, like, gulp and say out loud to no one, “yikes!”). Despite the traumatic subject matter, the songs are a fucking auditory pleasure. When we were all cooped up this year, Apple’s claustrophobia was a balm.

illuminati hotties – “content//bedtime” In 2019, I had the pleasure of seeing IH open for pup at the Old National Center. After their set, I was on my way to the baño¸ and noticed IH front person Sarah Tudzin at the merch table. I approached, expressed my admiration for her work, and inquired as to the release of the next album. The reception was chilly! It turns out that Tudzin was fighting her label, ultimately leading to the release of FREE I.H.: This is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For, a weird little record made for the express purpose of getting out of her contract. It’s still a good album! And this song is a wacky Oingo Bingo-y banger. LYRIC OF THE YEAR 2: “Woah-oh-oh-oh/No-oh-oh-oh/Pouring a bowl of Illuminati hot-o's.”

Jeff Rosenstock – “***BNB” It took me a minute, but once I released it was a song about a mother secretly renting out her adult daughter’s room as an AIRBNB, I was smitten. It eventually turns into an extremely Rosenstockian loud meditation on the difficulty/anxiety/sadness of travel which is good and kick ass.

Jessie Ware – “Remember Where You Are” It’s fucking annoying as shit that the year disco came back (see: Cat, Doja; Lipa, Dua; Genius, Perfume) that we were all stuck in our fucking houses with our fucking cat who is 85% sweet and 15% annoying and 100% smelly god I love her.

The Killers (ft. k.d. lang) – “Lightning Fields” This is probably not the best song on this album (gotta be “Caution”, right?), but it is the stupidest which probably makes it the most Killers-y track of the year. It was somewhere around uttering the question, “are we human/are we dancer” that the Nevada-based boys decided to start fucking around non-stop. This song carries on that proud tradition. The metaphors are incomprehensible, it sounds kinda like “Like a Prayer” at the end, and has a friggin’ great k.d. lang guest spot. It’s so fucking dumb.

Megan Thee Stallion (ft. Beyoncé) – “Savage Remix” This is basically a Beyoncé (just discovered Word will autocorrect Beyonce to Beyoncé. Good job, Bill Gates) song, and it’s wonderful! That part when she goes from whisper singing to full Beyoncé-voice singing at the three-minute mark? The best!

NOBRO – “Marianna” A perfect rock song. The last minute is the best minute of music in 2020 and it’s like, 40% of the song.

Origami Angel – “24 Hr Delivery/KD MVP” For whatever reason, this emo revival duo released an EP of songs using Minecraft samples. Ostensibly a remake of their 2019 twee-bullshit ode to making your sad friend feel better by taking them out to get fast food, the song segues into a completely baffling yet moving sound collage featuring sad piano, cheese guitar, and Kevin Durant’s tearful NBA MVP speech. I don’t claim to understand it, but the heart wants what it wants. A slam dunk!

Orville Peck – “Fancy” My wife won’t let me listen to this Reba McIntyre cover in the house because it makes her cry every time. We’ve learned a lot about each other this year.

Perfume Genius – “On the Floor” A sumptuous slinker. Plausibly the best song about dancing on your own since Robyn’s classic, “Dancing on My Own,” it’s an emotional powerhouse. Have I sang this song while crying in the shower? No. Would I? You bet! LYRIC OF THE YEAR 3: “I cross out his name on the page!”

Phoebe Bridgers – “Savior Complex (Copycat Killer Version),” “I Know the End” 2020 fucking sucked. I couldn’t go outside. I couldn’t see my pals. I got stuck in my loft for ten days with a COVID scare. My life shrank and it became too easy to doom scroll all the shitty news of mass death, the senseless murder of unarmed black people, riots, curfews, the fucking election, and then the chaser of a bunch of white supremacists trying to overturn a free and fair election because they can’t believe a majority of Americans are tired of being run by a big wet racist moron.

I’m not saying that Bridgers had anything to say this year about The World, but when I felt the worst I put on Punisher. It didn’t make me feel better, but it didn’t make me feel worse. It’s the sadgirl album for the sadgirl year. ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Punisher.

Rilo Kiley – “Teenage Lovesong” Rescued from the scrap heap of history, Rilo Kiley re-released their self-titled debut that was originally only available at their live shows. It’s a precocious record (there’s some, like, turntable scratching on one song???), but it’s astonishing how fully formed Jenny Lewis’s voice is even in 1999. That instrument is on display in this old fashioned twanger, where Lewis shows off the tone, clarity, and range.

Run the Jewels – “ooh la la” Listened to this song very loud in a rental Mustang driving from Joshua Tree to Vegas in January. It was cool.

Sturgill Simpson – “Just Let Go” Ol’ Sturg decided that 2020 was the year to become a bluegrass boy and you’ll hear no complainin’ from Ol’ Johnny. This reworking of his 2014 transcendental ode to the “universal shared consciousness,” becomes a good hearted bluegrass ditty brimming with existential joy.

#bestof2020

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