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#Sigh... I guess I just wish I could draw again without having to be dependent on the money
finzphoenix · 8 months
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Trying something new for Patreon: 20-minute videos of whatever WIP I'm currently working on! ^_^
Gosh, I hate advertising my own Patreon account, I'm so sorry for spaming about it! ;w;
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jmagnabo92 · 10 months
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It’s a Twin Thing - Ch 1
A few weeks after Hetty’s almost banishment, Trevor’s in for a surprise when his twin brother comes by for a visit.
AO3
***
Trevor sighs, contentedly, as Hetty cuddles into him.  Despite it being earlier than usual for the aftermath of the rendezvous, Hetty doesn’t immediately leave.  After nearly being sent to the woods for a year, they’ve both been rather clingy … not that either of them would admit it.
Instead, they just cuddle together sometimes quietly – they’ve fallen asleep on more than one occasion – and sometimes they’ll chat quietly about random things.  They usually take turns talking about what’s on their minds and sharing stories of their pasts.
Lately, he can’t stop thinking about his brother.  Although everyone knows that he has a brother now, Hetty’s the only one that he had mentioned Jeremy being his twin brother to (although Flower had guessed ages ago).  Their rendezvouses in the last month or so since the heir nonsense happened usually led to cuddling and Trevor talking about some story where he and Jeremy had attempted to pretend to be each other until they failed at it.  It was always a competition between the brothers to see who could last longer pretending to be the other – Trevor always claimed the crown unless it involved someone asking him to draw something.
He loved those moments.  He loved those stories.  He wishes that he could relive those days, those times.  He misses Jeremy something terrible and he wishes more than anything that he could see him, again.  Talk to him, tell him that he feels like a part of his soul is missing and that he wishes that he’d come to the memorial, but he appreciated that he sent Tara Reid (even if that had been a disaster).  It showed him that he knows what Trevor would want even decades later, even decades without him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Hetty questions as she looks up at him, lifting her head from his chest.  Their clothes hadn’t returned yet, so he knew that she hadn’t fallen asleep despite how quiet she was being.  
Trevor hums.  It’s his turn to tell a story.  “Just thinking about Jeremy, again.”
“Are you going to tell me another story about the two of you switching places?” Hetty questions, somehow looking excited.
Trevor grins.  “That depends.  Would you like to hear one?”
Hetty hums in agreement.  “I would as I am waiting on a particular story.”
Trevor laughs.  “Oh yeah?  What story would that be?”
Hetty grins.  “I have decided that you two switched so often that you are secretly Jeremy.”
Trevor can’t help bursting out laughing.  “You really think that Jeremy and I switched the day I died and I’m not Trevor, but I’ve been pretending to be him for over twenty years?”
“Well, no one would have any idea, correct?”
“That’s correct.”
“Thus, theoretically, you could have decided to be Trevor while actually being Jeremy for your entire afterlife.”
“I love J-dog and it’s undoubtedly fun fooling everyone, except our parents, but I can’t imagine doing that for twenty years – it’d feel wrong.  I love him, but that was a game we played together – we never did it without permission from the other,” Trevor states.  Not after the one-time that got them both in major trouble.  “Besides, I like being T-money instead of J-dog.”
“It is hard to take you seriously with those ridiculous monikers,” Hetty states, somewhat teasingly.  
Trevor laughs.  “Oh, please.  I know you love it.”
“I do no such thing,” Hetty states, but the smile on her lips says otherwise.  
He gives her a quick kiss and says, “Uh-huh, I totally believe you.”
“You should as I am being sincere.”
“Sure, you are.”
“It is impolite to suggest a lady such as myself would lie.”
“It’s impolite for a lady such as yourself to lie to her lover about something as silly as liking my T-Money moniker,” Trevor teases.  “And continuing to lie just means you’ll have to suffer the consequences.”
He shifts so that he can move his hand down Hetty’s side since she’s ticklish there.  
Hetty clearly knows what he’s thinking of doing and tries to wiggle away.  “Don’t you dare, Trevor!”  
“I won’t if you admit you like it,” Trevor teases.  
“Never!”
Laughing Trevor begins to tickle her, and it takes no time at all to get Hetty all giggly and begging for mercy, even as she shifts on top of him and pins him down.
“I win,” Hetty says, gleefully.
Trevor smiles.  “I’m right where I want to be – so I think I win.  Now, admit it.  You like my T-Money thing.”
Hetty leans down as if she’s going to kiss him but stops just out of reach.  “You are correct, Trevor, but do not let that go to your head.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Trevor teases, just before she closes the distance for the kiss.  
“Good.”
***
He knows that it might not be a good idea to come here.  Probably a terrible one, but he figured he had to – he had to know – had to see him – had to deal with these things he’s been avoiding.  It was ridiculous that he couldn’t summon the courage to visit during the memorial, but he hadn’t been expecting his parents to throw one and he wasn’t – wasn’t ready to face the reality of losing his twin.  
While it’s true that he had known – especially with his ability to suddenly see ghosts around the time that his brother had obviously died and those dreams of this very familiar mansion – but there had still been a part of him that ached for it not to be true.  He had had such a hard time with the loss, with not knowing where he was, and worse knowing that he was likely a ghost somewhere.  The dreams he had were not helpful as he wasn’t sure if they were real or not – and some, he certainly hoped not.  His – their – parents had tried to reassure him.  Tell him that Trevor was not stuck on as a ghost, but he knew – he could feel it.  
They hadn’t really accepted the possibility until the weekend where they discovered exactly where Trevor had died – everything that had happened, the woman owner of the house acting so strange by encouraging the memorial for one, and the final moment where she said, ‘what if he was here – what would you tell him?’.  They had believed then that not only was he there, but the woman could see him like Jeremy could see him (and other ghosts).
Despite this, they didn’t think it would be a good idea for Jeremy to visit until and unless he was ready, but how do you ever get ready for that?  He had nearly made this trip a dozen times in the last few months, and every time he turned around.  
Every time he found himself afraid and overwhelmed.  He thought about what Trevor would say, if he’d be angry that he hadn’t come sooner, if he’d blame Jeremy for being the reason he’s stuck.  If he resented Jeremy for being the cautious and careful twin, rather than Trevor as the reckless and risky twin.
It was illogical, he knew, but it was how he felt.  
And he couldn’t stand the thought of Trevor hating him.  Blaming him.
Because he blamed himself.  
He should’ve been there – done something, somehow.  
Stopped him from falling into the lake or whatever.  They had no idea what actually happened, his bones – waterlogged as they were – told them nothing.  And Trevor’s so-called bros had been less than helpful.  
Jeremy was always sure they knew something – gut instinct and what not, but that didn’t mean squat to the authorities who had nothing to go on.  And after twenty-two and a half years, there wasn’t any evidence of anything other than an accident.  
Still, if he’d been a better brother – maybe he would have been there or helped him find better friends.  What if he had somehow gotten in good with Trevor’s friends and been able to stop him from doing reckless and risky things all of the time?  What if he had convinced him that he didn’t need to do risky and stupid things to be the life of the party?  What if he had spent more time in the city with Trevor rather than hide out in the country where he’s more comfortable?  What if he convinced him that he was better off leaving Lehman Brothers and branching out away from those douchey bros to be with his actual bro?
There were so many things he could have done, so many words left unsaid, so many what ifs.  
Maybe he would finally get answers here.  
He could feel Trevor’s presence as soon as he pulls up, but it takes a minute and several deep breaths before he gets out of the car before he can convince himself to drive back home and not face his brother.  
The front door was open, probably due to the nice weather and to encourage random drop-ins for the business. Given that he hadn’t exactly planned a visit (if only because he had attempted and failed to make this trip a dozen times), this is probably a good thing.  
Still, it’s as nice and homey as his parents told him (they had attempted to reassure him that if Trevor was there at least it was homey – the fact that his drawings and paintings matched a house that he had never set foot in helped assure him that Trevor was definitely there).  He can’t help looking around, and hoping to just spot Trevor rather than have to talk to the owners and explain what exactly he was doing here, but despite noting two obvious ghosts – a captain and a  Lieutenant colonel from opposite sides of the revolutionary war in the library kissing, interesting, he only sees two other ghosts in the living room – a hippie and a Native American, who have appeared to have noticed him.  
No Trevor.  
There’s plenty of land, obviously, so Trevor doesn’t necessarily have to be in the house at the moment, but he’d somehow been hoping that Trevor would be the first person that he would see.  That he wouldn’t have to go searching.
Although, it was entirely possible that his brother had ascended, and he would never know it – would he lose this ability if his brother ascends?  Did the fact that he has this ability even mean that his brother was ghost?  How did it work?  
He had no idea.  Yet, due to the memorial and drawings, he was convinced that Trevor was here – at least, he has been for twenty years.  He could be gone by now.  What if the memorial got him to ascend?  Maybe he’d been hyping himself up to do this all for naught?
What would he do, then?
“SAM!  There’s someone here!” the Native American yells from the living room.  
He doesn’t react.  If his brother isn’t here, then he doesn’t want to give away his ability.  The last thing he wants to do is talk to more ghosts who are less than helpful to his plight of seeing dead people and trying to play at normal.
He’s sure the other living that can clearly see ghosts – Sam – probably wishes the ghosts here would let her play being a bit more normal.  Of course, neither of them were.  Not with this ability most people don’t have.  
He hears footsteps on the stairs, as the hippie woman says, “He looks awfully familiar.”
“He does, doesn’t he?” her companion offers.  
Ignoring them, he looks up at the woman on the stairs, who stops on the landing with two other ghosts behind her – one that’s clearly a Viking and the other who is wearing a scout uniform and an arrow through the neck – ouch.  He’s seen some brutal deaths – that’s a rough way to die for sure.  
It’s at that point that it occurs him that maybe he should’ve gone by the lake, maybe if Trevor died drowning – he’d hang out there?  Before he could leave the house awkwardly – like he’s prone to do, the blonde, clearly alive woman, says, “Trevor?”
“How did you know?” he asks, without thinking.  It had been common practice for he and Trevor to just answer to the other’s name.  They switched so often when they were younger that half the time, he forgot that his name wasn’t Trevor.  
Of course, these days, the name causes an ache his chest.  
He can see the ghosts all reacting confused and excited.  They had clearly put together that he was Trevor’s brother and that he probably came seeking closure about his brother the way his parents had.  
They chatter about seeing him and someone realizes that they should go get Trevor because he should be here for this – both the hippie and arrow man immediately mention that they hadn’t seen him all morning – midafternoon, but that they’d split up and look for him in his usual haunts.  
Several minutes pass before Sam says, “Uh, lucky guess.  You sort of remind me of someone.”
“I get that a lot – were you thinking about them just now?” he asks, giving her an out for awkward silence since he knows what it’s like to be overwhelmed by ghosts that don’t understand what it looks like for her to be silent and trying not to react (and failing) to their commentary.  
A couple of the ghosts mention that it was interesting that he had offered her an out when Sam nods.  “Oh, yes.  He was – uh – a good friend that – uh – recently passed.  My apologies, I’m probably seeming all sorts of weird to you.”
“Weird should be my middle name – I’m quite weird myself,” he offers.  He’s waiting for her to mention anything about his brother or something, while the ghosts continue commenting.
But luckily as the arrow man and the hippy return with yet another ghost with news that they had not found Trevor, he hears, “Jeremy?” from his left.  
He turns to see Trevor standing there in a half suit – interesting and unfortunate death outfit – with a Victorian woman with red-hair.  Those dreams were definitely real.
He doesn’t hesitate (and neither does Trevor) to move forward to hug him.  He could hear surprised voices behind him and the one beside them, but he doesn’t care as he envelopes his brother in a hug for the first time in over twenty-two years.  He puts one arm around his back, while the other goes to his hair to ruffle it, like always.  Trevor mimics him, and to be honest, he finally feels completed for the first time in years – like a piece of himself that had been missing was finally locking into place.  
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scorpiongrassfield · 11 months
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Theo Seems Scared
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“Sorry. Was that too much? I just uh. I just thought that maybe if I shared something about myself, maybe it would be easier for you to talk too. Guess not,” you apologize. 
Theo shakes his head and stays quiet.
The strange crackling sound you heard during the interview is back, but you ignore it. 
You readjust your posture and pick up the deck of cards from where they’re about to slide off your lap. 
You give them a shuffle, putting your nervous energy into the cards. 
“We were talking about tarot before. If you want, we can talk about that instead,” you offer. 
Theo still hasn’t said anything. 
“Or. If you’re uncomfortable with having me here, I can head back to the motel?” 
Theo shakes his head again. “No. I just. Feel stupid for thinking. Never mind. We can talk about tarot more if you would like.” 
“Okay.” 
You look through the deck until you spot a card you think you recognize. “What about this one?” 
Theo smiles a little. “Death. That’s the end. Except it isn’t, because it’s the 13th card and there are 8 more after it. Which is sort of the point,” he says. 
Your fingers brush as he takes the card from you. His hands are ice cold. 
The crackling sound has subsided. 
“Death is one of my favorite cards, actually,” he admits. 
You can’t blame him. “It does look really cool.” 
Theo smiles again, a little more genuine this time. 
“You don’t think that’s edgy?” he asks. 
You shrug. “I don’t know what it means yet. And there’s nothing wrong with being a little edgy,” you say. 
“I wish more people felt that way,” Theo sighs. “So. Death. As you can see, death is the skeletal rider of a white horse. This imagery comes up in more places than just tarot, but that’s what we’re talking about now. You’ll note that Death carries no weapons. It is not an inherently violent force, it simply is. It carries it’s banner,” Theo taps the flag with the flower, “To tell you it is there, but that’s all.” 
Theo pauses for a moment, looking pensive. “If I were to do a tarot portrait, depending on the person, I think I might change the flower to eglantine. I think it would suit the themes.” 
That doesn’t sound right. 
“Not scorpion grass?”
Theo looks surprised. You can see him thinking it over, his expression shifting as he adjusts his glasses. 
“That. Would be an interesting choice. That’s more remembrance than what I would attribute to the themes of the card. Unless. If the person I was putting in the portrait was trans… That could still maintain a certain layer of meaning to it…” he trails off, still thinking. 
“Why wouldn’t it fit the themes of the card?” 
“Oh! Um. Well. The death card rarely represents literal death. It’s a card of endings, but also a card of beginnings. It’s about cycles. Harvest and new growth. But the new growth of spring can’t happen without winter, and winter is what draws the harvest to a close.” Theo stops abruptly, looking self conscious. 
“Um. Am I. Making sense at all?” 
“Sort of,” you say honestly. 
“Oh. Okay then. Well. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the death card is my favorite because it’s about change. It’s a card that scares people, but it isn’t really scary as long as you can accept the future,” he says, tapping the man on the card that appears to be a priest, welcoming the rider peacefully. 
“Cool,” you say. And you mean it. This is all really interesting. Even if you aren’t sure how it relates to Pat. 
Theo seems a lot more like himself now that he’s distracted again. 
Or at least more like the version of him that doesn’t mind talking about things. 
“I have another question for you.” You can’t help but ask. You’re the only person involved that doesn’t have a portrait. Even the shadow has one. Theo doesn’t even know the shadow. 
“What’s that?” 
“What tarot card do you think would suit me?” 
Theo thinks for a second, then smiles wider than you’ve ever seen him smile, mischief glinting behind his glasses. 
“That’s easy,” he says, but doesn’t elaborate. 
“Well?” 
“The Fool, hands down,” he says. 
You must make some sort of expression that looks silly, because Theo laughs. 
“It’s not what it sounds like, I promise,” he placates. 
His hands are warmer when he takes the cards from you this time. 
“The Fool is the start of the major arcana,” he says, flipping through the deck to find the right card. “It can mean a lot of things, but for you, I think it’s the card of starting from a blank slate.” 
You huff humorlessly. “Like memory loss?” 
Theo nods. “I hope that isn’t um. Rude to say. But. It doesn’t get much closer to embarking on a journey from a point of zero than that. I think.” 
You shrug. “Guess not. Is that all?” 
“No. The fool is depicted as a young man of cheerful disposition. You’re a bit younger than me, and you’ve always been pleasant company.” 
You suspect you are not often called cheerful, but what do you know, really? 
“The major arcana is the fool’s journey, and the fool is someone who is willing to take the plunge, whatever that plunge may be. You strike me as that sort of person,” he says. He hands you the Fool card to look at. 
It’s a nice enough card, you think. You aren’t sure you’d be caught dead wearing that outfit though. 
You tell Theo as much. 
“Well. If I ever happen to paint a portrait of you. I’ll be sure to change the outfit for you,” he says with a wink. 
You can’t help but smile. 
“I’m glad you’re feeling a little better now,” you say. 
“Feeling better?” he asks, his face a blank mask of perplexity. 
“You seemed really uncomfortable when we were talking about your hanged man portrait?” 
“Oh. That.” 
He hands you the cards back and stands up. “You can borrow those if you’d like,” he says. He heads over to the shelf with the silk flowers and rummages through them. 
“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable. I just feel. Stupid.” 
He seems to find what he’s looking for, two different kinds of silk flower. 
“Why? I swear I won’t think whatever it is is stupid,” you promise. 
“I’ll still think it’s stupid though,” he says. “I need to remember that, if nothing else.” 
His hands are cold again as he hands you the flowers two flowers. 
“Those are for you and Pat. Theirs is the pink one.” 
You nod. “Thanks?” 
“The two of you have been very kind to me. So I thought I’d give you a gift.” 
“Thanks,” you say again. Then, “Why do you think you need to remember that specifically?” 
You can’t help but be curious, even if you don’t want to be too nosey. 
The crackling sound is back. The basement smells like damp moss.
Theo’s expression is bitter. “Because,” he says. And then doesn’t elaborate. 
“Because?” you prompt. 
“Because not everyone has a cousin with a house they can borrow when their parents disown them. I’m lucky and it’s stupid to pretend otherwise,” he says flatly. Completely emotionless. 
“I don’t think that’s true,” you counter. 
“It is. I’m lucky and I have to feel grateful. Because there are a lot of unlucky people out there. Some people end up half dead on the side of the road. Or face down in a creek,” he says. 
The constantly shifting tone of your interactions with Theo is giving you a bit of whiplash. He's been all over the place.
“Face down in a creek?” you echo. 
Theo gives a bitter half-chuckle. “Yeah. I’m sure that was my fault, too,” he says. 
The crackling sound is louder. 
“But that’s neither here nor there. It’s about time for me to head to the diner.” He starts up the stairs, but turns back to look at you. 
“Are you feeling well enough to drive back?” he asks, not unkindly. 
“I am. But…” 
“But?” 
This is the first time Theo’s admitted to having any knowledge of what happened. And he just insinuated it was his fault. Which goes counter to what you thought you knew about the case. 
You aren’t sure if you’ll get another chance to ask him about it while he’s able to remember it. 
He looks so pale right now. You’re not sure what effect forcing him to talk about it will have. 
Pat said to be gentle, but you also want to hear Theo's side of things.
Will you press the issue?
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This is the first chapter to a book I've got posted elsewhere. It was originally requested 2 years ago but I liked it a lot and decided to make it a book :3
Today's been so boring.. I swear I'll die from just boredom. It's an annoying day. Nothing's happening here in the shop. No customers, no more of us 'tinies' being bought. I guess that's a good thing.. But the easiest way to escape is to be bought. This place is stupid. I wish I could just get out of here.. Not just myself but my distant pals. The ones on the shelves beside mine. Ging and Kila. They are my neighbors and my absolutely crazy friends. Though we may never meet face to face and only rely on voices, I'd say we like family. Always coming up with plans to get out of here and running free in the world again. Well. I guess that's all I have to write today. Time to sit around and wait for the place to close for the night.
  ~ logged on a day, sometime in the year. I don't give a crap.
  I heaved a sigh, popped my journal into my small pack, and leaned against the back of the cage wall. Such a boring day. There were, like, three people that actually came to the shop today. They didn't even buy anything, instead, they just looked around. Why can't they just close now? Ain't nobody coming this late in the day.
  Would it really matter if anyone did anyway? Sure, they'd look around and whatever, but it's so doubtful that anyone is going to buy scrawny little tiny people anymore unless it's for some stupid kid that'll pull you limb from limb because it thinks you're a flipping doll. What kind of psychopathic generation is being raised? Somebody needs to teach discipline.
  My thoughts sure are productive today. Thinking about kids again. Just what I needed.
  Slowly, I forced myself to stand and hobble over to the glass pane that let me stare out into the 'amazing' shop I was trapped in. I stopped directly in front of the clear wall, pressing my face up against it as if it proved how devastatingly bored I was.
  I've lived here for about 11 months now and have grown completely neutral to this place. The employees find me as a 'handful' apparently. Probably because I've been bought and returned many, many times. It's definitely because of my strategy. Depending on the person that 'adopts' me, I refuse to talk or I'll talk to them all the time without shutting up. Course it's dangerous and I do indeed have scars from over-tempered people. It's so very easy to make people annoyed.
Though I would say I'm lucky to never have had to deal with a kid. So far, I haven't come up with any strategies for those vermin. I'd rather eat a rat leg than get trapped in a room with a kid.
  Heaving another exaggerated sigh, I pulled my face away from the glass and tottered to my little endearing house. I dusted a pile of shavings to heap on one side of me before plopping down on the cold metal. Maybe I could attempt to draw again. I'm not great at it.. but practice makes perfect, right?
  Hesitantly, I reached for my pack and pulled out my notebook. Sure. It was a journal, but I had nothing else to use. Plus, the semi-straight lines worked like a grid of sorts, and, just like that, I peeped my head out the front of my 'castle' and began to draw what I saw.
  Though the drawings were absolutely horrific, I managed to get a shelf, the cashier, the rack next to the door, and a bit of the manager drawn before somebody walked in. Odd. A customer.
Closing my book and packing it away to safety, I glanced up at the clock. 6:55. Just about time to close and this.. weirdo decided to show up. Firstly, this guy wore those slick new 'airpod' things and extremely nice clothes, despite it being just a hoodie and jeans. His vibe was like one of those distinctive rich kids from the old t.v. reruns that played during lunch break.
  Even though it made no difference, I scoffed at the college kid. It didn't really matter and I could've cared less, but for some reason, this guy ticked me off. Yet.. I did begin to wonder what that kind of person would want from such a junky store like this one. Maybe supplies or something.
  Wrong. The next thing I knew, I was being taken away from my cage. To be fair, I should have been used to being handled by now, but no matter how much I've tried, I have just always hated it. Probably always will.
  My struggle was cut short as I was dropped into a small cardboard box. Of course, it was one of those awfully shaped ones and had holes poked through the sides, but it was still an awful place to be. A shaky sigh left me as I tried to convince myself that they were just cleaning the cage or something but then the lid was reopened and another borrower like myself was roughly dropped in.
Our eyes met and I could tell we were both confused. This was the first time I'd ever been so close to another of my species. Well, at least since I was stowed away in this store.
It was a young teen boy like myself, but he had red hair, freckles, bright green eyes, and a decent-ish style of clothes.
  "Who are you?" He asked. His voice quaked with fear, but I could still hear the familiarity in his voice. My 'neighbor' from the cage.. I could've easily been wrong, so I held back on calling him any name, instead, I inhaled a shaky breath.
  "I'm Reb. Reb Hilk. Who are-" Before I could even finish the question, he had already practically flung himself at me to get a hug which I returned.
  "It's me, Ging! I can't believe it's really you!! I never thought we'd ever see each other.." His voice cracked, taking me aback at his sudden vulnerability.
  "Neither did I.."
  The moment was interrupted as the box shifted roughly before being opened again. Two more tinies were put in. At first, I had figured that was all of us that were going to be taken, but pretty soon there were roughly eleven of us all together, huddling in groups. Most were terrified, but some were curious, looking out the holes.
  A part of my protectiveness kicked in and I began to pace. This situation had suddenly become much more worrisome. Where were we going? Were more of us going to all get crammed together? There were too many questions and nowhere to get any answers. All I knew is that we had to stick together and figure it out, otherwise we might lose each other.
  The movement continued, shifting from being abrupt to absolutely nothing. What was happening? Were we being bought? Was the store shutting down? Were we going to be.. exterminated?
  I shook my head at the last awful thought. That couldn't have possibly been what was happening. Right..?
  Another shaky sigh escaped my throat as I joined a small group that were huddled together and Ging followed suit. In all my years of living, I had never seen such fear-stricken faces. It panged my heart, but the only thing I could do was comfort. For the first time, I felt helpless.
  In an attempt to locate where we were going, I glanced towards the holes. It didn't help much since the sun had set completely. Of course it had. Lovely.
  Soon enough, after waiting in the dark for roughly twenty minutes, there was suddenly a lot of noise followed by a lot of movement. The box was lifted, a little too fast, and was carried somewhere else.
  As if thinking the same thing, none of us made a single noise, allowing the fear levels to rise again. That's when it dawned on me. Kila, my other neighbor, wasn't with us. Was she not taken? Maybe that was a good thing..
  Then, after what felt like an eternity, the box was set on a table of some sort and someone was messing with the box as if they had no idea how to open it. The tension rose and the silence became deafening. All I could do was hold my breath as the lid slowly fell open.
  Instead of being met face to face with a trash can, like I previously thought, we were greeted by the college kid. My fear was replaced with a sudden stubbornness. I couldn't help but glare up at him. Of course, it was him. He just had to take us away from where we were and no man in their right thoughts would buy so many tinies for pets. He must've had some other plan. Something much worse.
  Just as the guy reached his hand in to take some of us out, I quickly interfered by backhanding him as hard as I could on the finger. Surprisingly he backed off.
  "Fuck off." I growled. The look he gave me was utterly pitiful, but I didn't care. Protectively, I stood my ground in front of my kind, as a defender.
  There was such a cold silence I felt like I could hear the hair on my neck stand on end, but it didn't last long as someone else suddenly scooped the group up and out of the box from behind me. The fear seared through me as I spun around on my heels. It was such a swift motion, I tripped over my own legs.
  "Hey-" My voice was cut off as my chest collided against the ground, knocking the breath out of me. I could hear Ging calling for me, but I couldn't seem to catch my breath before I also was lifted out of the box.
  After I regained myself and thoughts in that small moment, I began to thrash around in the hands of my new captor. It was definitely the one who I just had a stare-down with.
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after-witch · 3 years
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Act of Contrition [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]
Title: Act of Contrition [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]
Synopsis: A shimmering blue evening gown was not the last thing you expected to see draped over the sitting chair that was tucked into the corner. What you didn’t expect, however, was his suggestion for you to try it on
Word Count: 3646
notes: yandere, kidnapped reader
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 A shimmering blue evening gown was not the last thing you expected to see draped over the sitting chair that was tucked into the corner. It would certainly not be the first time that Chrollo had brought back something ostentatious, something glittering and expensive; something that you (if you were to psychoanalyze him, which you did, out of anxiety first and boredom second) would guess he wanted you to admire before it disappeared into the ether like so many other things he’d pilfered over the past few months.
What you didn’t expect, however, was his suggestion for you to try it on. 
At first you thought you’d misheard, your brain still pulling itself out of a dull, listless sleep. You had argued with him the night before, and the space between you on the bed was thick and heavy with tension until you had finally slid headlong into sleep. Surely he wouldn’t try to give you a gift after you spend most of the evening reminding him that you’ll never love him, or even like him, much less feel one iota of happiness in his presence.
But then he repeated the suggestion.
“Why?” Your tone is borderline acidic, and you don’t feel the need to hide your suspicion of his intentions.
Your captor had no doubt become well-acquainted with your nastiness over the months, though he rarely reacted to it with more than a tight expression, if he even gave you that. Sometimes he simply ignored you, as if you were a child having a tantrum, not his kidnapped victim.
In some ways, it was a surprising relief. In some ways, you could consider yourself lucky. Considering his abilities, considering his past, considering what he did when he left you alone in the condo or hotel or wherever he had you situated--he might well be the type to slap the attitude off your face, gentlemanly facade be damned. He could do worse than a slap, too; far worse.
But the months had gone on with only pointed sighs and looks; and despite his rationally stated insistence that you would give in to his attentions in time, you held onto your bitterness as tightly as you could. You prized yourself on it, the way you figure that he prizes his most precious steals.
He sometimes comes back with glittering jewels worth calculable fortunes, laying them out to see the way they look when the moonlight filters in through the open curtains. He doesn’t keep them for long, doesn’t display them, just memorizes their magnificence and then whisks them off.
You can relate to the gloating. But you don’t give your greatest treasures away. You, on the other hand, wear your bitterness 24/7 like an old woman clinging to her last precious mink coat, a remnant of an era gone-by. Draped over your shoulder, haughty and visible, daring him to say something when you give him a sarcastic jab in response to perfectly-polite-inquiries about this and that. The worst (but best, you think, to you) is when you feign interest in a conversation, feign some sort of acceptance of your situation, willing your hands to get closer to his as you sit on the sofa and read; only to snap back at the last moment, baring your teeth.
You hope it hurts him, to think he’s getting an inch forward with you only to have it pulled away. He deserves it for keeping you here.
Sometimes, you almost hope he would say something, do something, only because it might be a sort of reprieve. If he gets mad or slaps you, even, maybe the solid, sticky bitterness surrounding your heart might abate just a bit.
Then again, you know this saying very well: be careful what you wish for.
“I need to see if it fits.” His expression and tone haven’t changed. Polite, cordial, matter-of-fact. You hate it.
You force yourself out of bed and give the gown a glance before heading into the bathroom. He follows, picking up his own morning routine as you wash and brush side-by-side. You think he does it to seem domestic, in his own fucked-up way. You pointed this out, once, and he’d merely given you a small smile and asked: “Do you want to this to be domestic?”
Chrollo had a habit of turning your impulsive snark around on you, so you tried to plan your barbs out more carefully in the future.
“Why do you need to see if it fits?” You finally ask, words a bit muffled by the toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. You force yourself to glance at him in the mirror. He’s finished, already drying off his face, pinning a wrap around his forehead.
He catches your gaze in the mirror, and you feel too caught to look away.
“For tonight. We’re going to the theater.”
The toothbrush drops from your mouth and lands next to the sink, splattering lathered toothpaste on the counter. You wipe your mouth with a washcloth, missing a bit and not caring, and physically turn away from the mirror so you’re face-to-face.
“Are you serious?”
For the moment, your bitterness slides off, forgotten on the floor. He’s never offered to do something like this before. Sure, he’s mentioned that you might go out--”it depends on  your behavior”--but the thought of “being good” for Chrollo made you sick to your stomach every time you were tempted. So you hadn’t been outside for months, not really--the brief gaps when he’d whisk you into a car, always by his side, then pull you into a new hotel or luxury condo didn’t really count.
He nods.
“Yes. Please do hurry and try it on, I’ll need time to find another if it isn’t suitable.”
You glance out of the bathroom door and back into the bedroom, where the gown sits, draped, shimmering softly in the morning light. It’s something you never would have been able to afford before--and the thought of wearing it now makes your skin tingle. What is his plan? Why is he doing this?
“But I haven’t been good,” you say, almost spitting out the last word. Last night, in fact, you’d been almost beastly--you recall the words “go fuck yourself” and “I hate you” being thrown out before you twisted in the knife by bringing up an ex-fling.
He laughs, quick and harsh. It seems like a real laugh, for once, and something in your chest twists. It’s been a long time since you’ve heard anything truly authentic from him. Or yourself.
“Maybe it’s a reward for me, to have you by my side.  You want to go, don’t you?”
The thought makes your stomach clench. But… you did want to go. Really. To get out of here, even for a night? To get sucked into some type of show, whatever it was? You didn’t entertain the idea of trying to escape or draw attention to yourself for help--you knew Chrollo would never suggest taking you if it was a viable option. He was just as likely to slaughter the entire theater if you whispered to an usher that you were being held captive.
No, no escape in the cards… at least not physically.
You shrug your shoulders and try to seem nonchalant about it, though you’re sure he can feel the way your skin is buzzing.
“Sure, whatever. Don’t expect me to hold your hand or anything.”
He laughs, again. It’s blatantly false this time.
***
It has been… a while since you’ve done your makeup. The pile of messy makeup wipes on the counter can attest to that--this is now your third try at a full face without messing something up. Thankfully, the third time has been the charm, and you’re satisfied with the reflection in the mirror. Chrollo had turned up your old makeup bag, and sliding on the eyeliner you used to wear to work, out with friends, in your old life felt surreal and comforting at the same time.
You’ve even done your hair, though it could be nicer. You haven’t bothered with anything but hasty brushing in the past few months, and sometimes you’re too lethargic and frustrated to even bother with that. But it’s styled, a bit elegant--if you do say so yourself.
You glance down at the trio of lipsticks he set on the counter earlier. They’re not a brand you ever wore--they’re expensive, something out of reach for anyone used to pulling cheap store lipsticks out of a bin. The center lipstick is a bold red, and your hand reaches for it. Brief memories of your mother gushing about red lipstick come to mind; she always associated red lipstick with elegance, the fanciest of events, and you’re inclined to agree. It feels smooth, impossibly so; praise be to expensive formulas.
After blotting it with toilet paper--old habits--you step back to stare at yourself in the mirror. The dress fits you beautifully. The fabric is soft, refined, showing you off in all the right places. You’ve taken your time with your hair, your makeup, and you really do look nice. You bring your wrist up to your nose and sniff--the perfume Chrollo had picked out for you was elegant, subtle. Rose petals and apples and white musk.
You feel a wave of nostalgia come over you that you push down. It’s too bad you’re going to the theater with your captor and not with your friends. Or your mom.
“Are you finished?” His voice calls from the bedroom.
The thought of Chrollo seeing you like this makes you feel uncomfortably anxious for reasons you can’t quite pinpoint. The gown is not exactly risque, but it’s designed to highlight your features--and while he has never crossed the hardest line in regards to your personal autonomy, he wasn’t beyond stealing kisses from your unwilling lips when the mood struck him. He said it was to help you adjust to the relationship, as if kissing you against your will would make you love him.
You don’t answer him and instead give your hair a final touch up before heading out the open bathroom door.
Chrollo is standing next to the vanity, wearing an elegant suit, primped and polished--and handsome. You can’t help but freeze in place when he gives you a once-over, slow and deliberate.
“You look beautiful,” he says, finally, a slight breathiness to his voice. There’s an authentic tone to his voice again, and it makes you feel queasy.
You try to ignore the way your skin feels heated and shrug, crossing your arms over your chest as you approach him.
“Are we going now?”
He gives a soft smile. “Almost. One more thing.”
You watch curiously as he pulls out a jewelry box from his pocket, then opens it to reveal two glittering sapphire earrings. You can’t hold back a little gasp, but when you reach for them, Chrollo holds the box out of reach.
“I’ll do the honors.”
You want to say no. But you’re so close to leaving, so you simply stare to the side as he steps behind you.  He touches your ear--and you flinch. He chuckles quietly and you ignore the blossoming heat across your cheeks, both from his closeness and your reaction, while he fixes the earrings into your ears.
When he’s finished, you look up. The visage in the mirror seems like a familiar stranger. The feeling you get at seeing yourself so dressed up is familiar in some way. You think back to going to shows with your friends, or going to the ballet with your mom; your little ring-clad hand gripping hers as she hurried you past alleys on the way to the theater, your sparkling white party dress shedding glitter onto the streets. You can practically feel the way the theater always hums with anticipation, the unusual heaviness of feeling alone in a crowded room as your friends left you with the tickets while they grabbed a drink or two.
The sight of Chrollo behind you in the mirror, watching you with clear intent, breaks you away.
“We’re leaving now.”
***
“I… actually really like The Sleeping Beauty ballet.”
You feel awkward. It’s certainly not the first time you’ve been in a car with Chrollo, whether your forcibly pressed against him in the back seat or in the front, blasting the radio in an attempt to prevent him from striking up a conversation as he drives you to some new destination.
But it’s the first time you’ve been in the car for reasons other than transporting you to a new ‘home.’ The first time that you’ve both been dressed up; Chrollo’s cologne wafts gently over to you, and you can’t deny that he knows how to pick a good scent.
It’s also the first time you’ve felt conversation to be a necessity, if only to find out where you were going (the opera house) and what you were seeing (a ballet).
In fact, the news of the performance makes you sit up straighter in your seat. You feel a ping of excitement, and without thinking you share it out loud.
“That’s actually the first ballet I ever saw with my mom. Do you know what company it is?”
He tells you, and you bite your lip anxiously, squaring your shoulders against the back of the seat as you start to imagine the night ahead. Then you remember the smooth red lipstick and force your mouth to relax.
You talk, instead, to keep yourself from ruining your lipstick with your nervous habit. “I’ve heard about this company’s version. Well,” you continue, “I wanted to see them perform this a few years ago, but tickets sold out so fast. I couldn’t afford the scalper prices.”
“How nice that I have tickets for this performance, then.”
“Right!” Your pitch is higher and you internally cringe. You shouldn’t sound so excited. You glance at him from the corner of your eye, but he seems focused on the road.
As the drive continues, you keep talking. Without realizing it, your voice becomes lighter, easier, and even you don’t know why you’re speaking so freely. You talk more to him on this stretch of road than you have within months, sarcastic replies and bitter responses notwithstanding. 
You talk about ballet. You talk about the history of the show. You talk about this company’s costumes--you saw them displayed in a store window and wow, were they gorgeous--and as the words come out, you feel lighter. Less bogged down by your protective anger, less heavy and hateful.
Happiness. 
It’s something that you haven’t felt in a long time. It’s a feeling that your stomach rebels against, not welcoming the sudden intrusion of lightness and lift while you’re sitting in a car next to your captor. But you push your stomach’s rebellious nature down and force yourself to remember that tonight,  you get to escape onto the stage; for a little while, you can be somewhere else.
Even being in the car tonight is doing wonders for you, you think. You must be getting close--the lights of the city are brighter and there’s throngs of nicely dressed people walking down the street towards what you realize is the theater. You see a little girl holding a woman’s hand and your stomach clenches in bitter nostalgia, but the thought is pushed aside quickly enough when Chrollo pulls into a valet circle.
You don’t have time to open the door before he opens it for you, extending his arm like a gentlemen.
“Ready?”
**
You’re buzzing on the way home. Not just from the champagne--three glasses, Chrollo having subtly waved away the usher approaching your opera box with your requested fourth. Not just from the show, which was magical and lush and everything you hoped it would be. Not just from the fact that you had a night out, away from the stuffiness of whatever luxury suite you were trapped in.
But from the thrill of feeling something, anything, other than your own deep despair and bitterness. You laughed in delight at the sillier moments, the bright-yellow Canary fairy and her trills; you cried at Aurora’s pleading vision to be set free, the first time you’ve cried at something other than your own situation in ages; you clapped and even, in the end, let yourself shout out a cheery “Brava!”
Even Chrollo seemed different during the evening. No forcible hand-holding or other niceties that had given you anxiety earlier in the evening. No unbearable condescension, only the hint of a smirk during the intermission when you--instinctively, you insisted to yourself, not because you liked his company--began an excited conversation about the events of the first Act. Did he like this part? What about the orchestra? And oh, this variation, didn’t he think it was a bit too overdone on the part of the dancer, but she more than recovered by the end?
When Chrollo helps you out of the car into the private parking garage, the air is cool and crackling; everything still feels electric, the way it always does when you come home from an event. Though as the doorman opens the private elevator leading to the condominium above, you dimly remind yourself you’re not coming home, exactly.
The swift ride up the elevator leaves you feeling dizzy. Your mind feels like it’s crashing, suddenly. From the champagne, maybe--but something else, too.
The elevator doors open into the condo suite you share with Chrollo and it hits you as you take the first step inside: you’re back to where you started the night. Trapped. The transporting, glittering events of the evening fall off your shoulders like a worn coat; you’re left once again only with yourself, with your present situation--and with Chrollo.
Your cheeks feel hot and you know the tears are coming before you feel them prickle at your eyes. The urge to wipe them away is masked only by the remembrance that you’re wearing makeup, but that doesn’t stop it from running as they begin to flow down your cheeks.
It burns, and you start for the bathroom, intent on scrubbing your face and ripping off the dress--but your entire body jerks back as Chrollo grabs your arm and prevents you from taking another step.
“Let go,” you say, voice empty of anything but the desperate need to be in the bathroom, to clean your face, to be alone with your returning misery.
He doesn’t. Instead, he pulls you back, forcing you to stand up straight as you fruitlessly fight against his grip.
“You’re crying.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that,” you murmur, voice edged not with bitterness this time, but sorrow. You don’t want to look at him. He’s seen you cry countless times, but you hate the way he looks at you when you do.
“Tell me why.”
You finally force yourself to look up at him, eyes blinking away the stinging tears, and you’re not surprised by his intensive gaze. He’s studying you. Analyzing. Like you’re some sort of book he can read and discover.
Maybe the champagne has loosened your tongue; maybe the night itself has loosened the tight-lipped hold your bitterness has on you. Whatever it is, you confess.
“I was happy,” you say, voice wobbling with tears. “I was--happy on the way there. I was happy at the theater. I was happy on the way home. I--I haven’t…” you rub at your eyes, smearing eyeshadow onto your fingertips. “I haven’t felt that way in months. And now we’re back and I don’t feel it anymore.” Your voice finally cracks with your last words, and you cover your eyes with one hand as crushing feelings of sadness sweep over you.
He pulls you closer to him, and you can’t fight away from his physical strength.
“Let go,” you plead. “I just want to be alone.”
You jerk your face away when he strokes your cheek with his free hand.
“Alone? Whatever for? My hypothesis for tonight was correct.”
His words make you stop pulling. Hypothesis? You sniffle and try to get your bearings, try to brace yourself. But you’re tired, and sad, and your head is swimming.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He places his free hand on the back of your head and leans in closer. The heat of his skin and the pressure of his grip makes a flushed warmth bloom across your skin.
“You see,” he whispers, his lips ghosting against the side of your ear. “You can be happy with me, after all.”
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fandom-puff · 4 years
Text
Mating
Pairing: Remus Lupin X Reader
Requested by: anon
Summary: you’ve done a good enough job of covering up your attraction to your new colleague... that is until the moon cycle heightens his senses...
AN: I’m getting there with these requests! I’ve been going through them at my own pace- sorry if I’ve rejected your request though- id rather not write it if I don’t have the inspiration to do so 💖💖💖
Also I went to TOWN on this one, so feedback is greatly appreciated !!
Gif creds to owner as usual x
Warnings: rough, possessive sex, swearing, breeding kink , werewolf tricks (scents, mating, knotting)
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Drawing your robe tighter around yourself, silently cursing Severus for putting people in detention. You had agreed to take over his patrols for the night, when in reality, you wanted nothing more than to go to bed. Sighing, you held your lit wand out in front of you, walking up the corridor, occasionally nodding at a passing ghost, telling Peeves to bugger off, greeting snoozing portraits...
The silence of the dark corridors allowed you to mull over your thoughts, figure out some lesson plans, what you would get people for christmas the next time you visited Hogsmeade, but as usual, your train of thought wandered, soon landing on a particular Professor. Smiling dumbly to yourself, you pictures him in your mind, from his grey-flecked hair to his shabby, patched robes; his kind, tired eyes to his light stubble and moustache; his trim chest to his long, elegant fingers...
Shuddering slightly, you tugged your lip between your teeth. What that man could do with his fingers, you mused, remembering at dinner earlier that evening, watching as he wrapped his hands around his goblet- you came to the conclusion that those fingers would look much better wrapped around your throat...
You were so lost in your thoughts that you bumped headlong into the object of your desires. How did you know it was him? Was it his gentle hands grasping your arms to stop you falling backwards? Was it the gentle words he uttered asking if you were okay? No. It was his scent, of all things, which lingered on his comfy knitted jumper- tea and books and... the forbidden forest... you couldn’t help but inhale a few gulps before mumbling your apology, making to move past him. Those hands grabbed your arm again, stopping you dead in your tracks.
“Why not walk with me, YN? Your patrol won’t be as lonely,” he said kindly, smiling down at you. You could see a slight glint of his white teeth in the wandlight as you nodded. Together and in relative silence, you strolled the corridors, occasionally murmuring to one another- yes the weather had been a bit rubbish lately, that book is excellent, no I didn’t know it’s the full moon in three days...
You knew about remus’s condition, as everyone on the staff did. Why was he bringing it up? Did he think you were scared? Did he think you would run away once it clicked? You didn’t care that he was a werewolf, of course you didn’t. If anything, it often made you wonder what he was like in bed before the Full moon. He seemed tired all the time, but you had read about mating- would mild-mannered Remus Lupin evolve into a primal beast? Would he dig his nails into your skin as he got carried away? Would he fuck you from behind like an animal? Did he have a deep-rooted urge to fill you with his seed and watch you swell with his pups...?
“YN? You aren’t listening to a word I’m saying, are you?” Remus’s voice shook you from your depraved thoughts.
“Hmm?” You asked, letting out a shaky breath. Your knees were wobbly and you could feel heat and wetness pooling in your knickers. You would most certainly be fucking yourself tonight thinking of him.
“I said we’re at my rooms. You’re very welcome to come in for a cup of tea if you like? Might have something stronger in a cupboard somewhere for a nightcap,” he said, smirking slightly. Were your eyes deceiving you or did he just lick his lips?
“I... Er... yes please?” You said, nibbling your lip. Your midnight masturbation would have to wait tonight it seemed. You took a seat on one of Lupin’s armchairs as he pottered about the kitchenette, fixing tea for you both. He soon carried it over and sat opposite you as you sipped at your drinks, once again silent. Remus inhaled deeply through his nose and leg out a soft sigh, before fixing you with a stare, his eyes flashing amber- or was that just the firelight playing tricks?
“God, I wish I was a legilimens,” he hummed. You frowned, cocking up your eye brow and setting your teacup down.
“Why’s that?” You asked, leaning forward, your lips slightly parted.
“Because I’d be able to figure out what’s got you so aroused,” he murmured. You gulped, biting your lip hard as you stared at one another before your lips were smashed together in a messy, desperate kiss. Your teeth clashed and you were both grabbing handfuls of the other’s hair as Remus pulled you into his lap, moaning lowly. “I guess that answers that question,” he grunted as you tipped your head back and sighed.
“H-how did you know?” You gasped as his teeth scraped right over your pulse point.
“Your eyes glaze over when you daydream,” he grinned, nibbling your earlobe. “And do you want to know a lesser-known fact about werewolves?” You nodded eagerly, your nails scraping over his scalp. “Around and on the full moon, our senses peak. Touch, hearing, sight, taste... smell... I could smell your arousal before we were even on the same corridor, YN... now tell me... was that all for me?”
You shuddered as his growl vibrates through your throat. “Yes!” You whimpered, trying to grind on him, but there were too many layers between you both and you whined out dejectedly. “A-all for you, Remus, f-for ages now!” Remus grunted and licked at the blood vessel at the side of your neck, you pulse throbbing against his tongue.
“I know, darling. Moony knows...” you sighed softly, eyes rolling back as you felt gentle hands on your waist, stilling your movements. “If we carry on, YN... Moony will take over. He will claim you as his mate, eternally. If that is what you want, I am more than happy to oblige, but if you are even a shred unsure, please leave my chambers. We can discuss this after the moon when it is safe-”
You pressed a tender kiss to his lips, pulling away and resting your forehead against his. “I want this. I’ve wanted this for ages... please, remus, I’m yours. I’ve felt... drawn to you since we met. It makes sense,”
He smiled weakly. “You understand what you are getting yourself into, this close to the moon? Our first coupling together will not be tender. Passionate, most certainly, but by no means gentle,” you could feel his hands trembling from the effort of keeping control.
“I’m yours, remus,” you whispered, bringing one of his hands down to cup your soaked, clothed heat, biting your lip hard. “I want this. Please, remus, mate with me,”
It was as if something snapped inside him. Without the aid of your hand, he pressed his hand into your heat, feeling how slick you were even through your knickers, attacking your neck with feverish kisses as you rutted against his hand, the heel of his palm mashing into your clit in the most deliciously searing way. Reluctantly, remus pulled his hand away, kissing away your whimpers of protest as he carried you to his bedroom, flinging you down on the bed and hovering over you, his thumb and forefinger tracing the hem of your shirt. “Take it off, remus,” you begged, and he was all too happy to oblige, soon stripping you to your underwear. Gulping, he looked you in the eye as he trailed one finger up your navel, grinning as you shivered and arched your back. “Need to feel you, Remus, please!” You pleaded. Normally, remus would be unwilling to undress fully, ashamed of his scars, but this close to the Moon, he had only one thing on his mind. Almost comically quickly, he tugged his jumper, shirt and trousers off, kicking them aside, practically pouncing on you to kiss you again. You pouted at not being quite able to see his erection straining at his boxers, but were quickly consoled when you felt it pressing hard against your thighs.
“Remus!” You moaned, trailing your hands up his strong back, your fingertips dancing over the silvery ridges of his scars, clutching onto him as though your life depended on it. You could feel the heat radiating off him, hear his pulse quickening just like your own, hear him panting above you. You were so close to him, yet so far, your underwear providing an unbearably wide wall between you both as you longed to feel him against your most sensitive parts. As if reading your mind, remus briefly pulled away and with a flick of his wand, you were both completely bare. Mouth ajar, you eyed up his cock, feeling your cunt clench around nothing at just the thought of accommodating his throbbing length and girth. Sensing your worry, remus nuzzled his face into your neck and kissed your pulse point gently. “I won’t hurt you, darling,” he whispered. “Nor will Moony,” nodding, you spread your legs. Remus groaned as he inhaled, already getting drunk off the scent of your soaked nether region. “Another time, my dear, I am going to drink from your cunt until you can’t come any more,”
You shivered and nodded, biting your lip. “That had best be a promise,” you moaned out, pushing his hair out of his face, breathy gasps and moans escaping you as you felt the bulbous head of his cock tapping against your throbbing clit. “Please, remus,” you begged, your legs moving instinctively to wrap around him.
Your begging was all he needed. He pushed his thick cock into you, stretching you out, grasping your hips to stop your wiggling as he revelled in the soaking heat of your clenching channel, soon moving his hands to grasp your thighs and hold them further apart. “I am going to mate with you, yn,” he growled. “I am going to claim you as mine, and I will be yours. I will fill you with my seed until your swollen with my pups. And when I come, you will feel my cock swell inside you to make sure my seed takes root,”
The filth spewing from his lips had your head reeling, and you bucked your hips up eagerly, begging him to do all of those things as he began fucking you relentlessly, the sounds of skin slapping and the wet noises of your coupling filling the small room as you gripped onto eachother. Remus’s lips found yours and you moaned loudly into his mouth as his tongue collided with yours before he sucked on it gently, sending jolts of pleasure sizzling through your every nerve. You had never felt more alive, more full, more worshiped than you did in that moment, your nails dug into remus’s arms as his thrusting became sloppy as he neared his end. “P-please don’t stop, Remus! Don’t pull out, please! Need to feel you fill me up properly!” You cried, your head resting on his shoulder. Remus grunted and nodded, his hips snapping hard against yours as he neared his peak.
“Bite my neck, YN, love!” He grunted. “Mark me as your mate while I do the same to- Ah! Fuck! Good girl!” You sunk your teeth into his pulse point, sucking harshly. Instinctively, you knew just where to bite, and you gently licked over the wound, moaning lowly as you felt the base of his cock begin to swell as he stilled inside you, the first spurt of cum painting your walls as his groaned out lowly. He basked in his orgasm for a brief moment, before leaning down to suck and bite your neck the same way you had.
You screamed.
The bite to your neck caused a white-hot surge of pleasure to rip through you as you felt your trembling body come undone, your stretched walls clenching tight around Remus’s swollen cock, milking every last drop out of him as you panted, tears streaming down your cheeks as you sobbed from the overwhelming pleasure and the rush of hormones your mating had caused.
Cooing gently, remus lowered you carefully onto your side, facing him, his cock still swollen inside you for the time being. The slight movement had you whimpering and Reaching up to kiss him messily. “I love you,” you moaned, hiding your face in his neck as your body relaxed.
Remus smiled gently and kissed your head and face over and over, pushing your hair out of your eyes. “I’m sorry it was so intense, darling. It’s not always like that, I promise,” he whispered.
“N-no... I loved that. The connection, both emotional and... physical,” you reached up and stroked the tender bite at your throat, shuddering as it twinged. “I am yours,” you murmured, reaching to kiss him gently.
“And I am yours,” he responded, stroking your hair. “My beautiful, beautiful mate, I love you,”
Soon, his cock softened enough to slip out of you, and you groaned softly, already very achey from your coupling. Remus smiled apologetically and spelled away the remnants of your pleasure, tugging the covers up around you. Instinctively, you massaged your lower belly, although you knew it was unlikely that he had knocked you up so soon, especially as you were on wizarding contraceptives. You frowned slightly, a sad twinge rattling your innermost instincts. Remus laughed gently.
“Soon, sweetheart. Soon you will swell with my pups. Just not quite yet,” he said gently, knowing that your mating would have unlocked something deep rooted in your instincts, something rather maternal. You pouted a little but nodded, curling into his side. He was right. There would be plenty of time for breeding later. Before then, you and your mate had some catching up to do before the full moon...
Tags: @a-hopeless-fan @lotsoffandomrecs @justanotherwildstar @rai-strangebr @zodiyack @haphazardhufflepuff @dumbfuckinslytherin @severuslovebot @darkthought15 @rabeccablake @sambucky8 @eleven-times-lively @talksoprettyjjx @extra-trash77 @rangerelik @dracosbbygorl
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jaskiersvalley · 3 years
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Witchers didn't have daemons, that was a known fact. They were terrifying in their solitude, unfeeling and unaffected. Monsters made to fight monsters, they didn't need part of their soul for that. What the general public didn't know though was that the daemons weren't imprisoned somewhere, nor were they dead. The mages had figured out a way to separate daemon from child and force it into the most unnatural of shapes, another human. It meant two Witchers from a single child and the best part was, neither child nor daemon felt any connection to their counterpart once the process of the trials was complete.
In an effort to make sure full separation was certain and not even a sentimental link remained, daemons and children were separated and trained in different schools. Lambert had arrived at Kaer Morhen, still tripping over unfamiliar human feet and seething at being separated from his human. Over the years he tried to remember his human but, like all Witchers, they were given new names when they got their medallions and Lambert didn't think Luca still went by that name, nor would he be the scrawny kid Lambert remembered him as.
Whenever Lambert met another Witcher, he couldn't help but wonder whether it was his Luca that he was meeting. Though he wanted to believe that there would be a spark some kind of recognition there. He had been a little relieved when he met Letho and there was nothing there between them.
Of course Geralt had to be the first one to find his daemon. The smug bastard had found a bard who told people his daemon was a flea which was just like him; unnoticeable until he causes a nuisance. Most pitied him but Geralt had seen through the charade. He watched the bard without a daemon, curiosity and caution allowed him to permit Jaskier to tag along. The story tumbled out eventually.
"My great grandparents bought me. I was some kind of freak novelty some merchants were selling."
That was all Geralt had needed to hear and he was all but dragging Jaskier back to Kaer Morhen in the winter. Nobody had expected Vesemir's face to close off completely.
"I remember you!" Jaskier said in way of greeting. "You were a dick."
"Julian." The reply was terse and tight.
Lambert got a front view seat to seeing Geralt's face flit through more emotions in one second than he usually did in a whole year. The embrace was tight, Geralt's nose buried in Jaskier's hair.
Jealousy trickled through Lambert's veins. For all he knew, his human was already a dead Witcher. There was no link between Witcher and daemon, the trials severed it all completely so when one died, the other didn't even notice, let alone die from it.
"Why isn't he a Witcher?" Eskel asked, eyes glued to the happy reunion.
"Kaer Morhen needed money. Your cohort, the daemons didn't become Witchers. We sold them to the highest bigger."
Lambert didn't expect Eskel to punch Vesemir across the jaw but he was sure as shit glad he saw it. It meant he didn't need to do it on behalf of Geralt and Eskel. For the first time though, Lambert had an optimistic thought.
"It might mean he's living a happy life somewhere. I mean, look at Jaskier. He's had it better than us."
That was a topic that came up repeatedly over the next few weeks. They dreamed up all sorts of fancy lives Eskel's daemon could have lived, the wonders he would have seen. Through it all, Lambert bitterly wished his daemon could have been anything but a Witcher. Alas, Vesemir rapidly disillusioned him from that idea.
"He's become a Witcher, probably dead by now. And if you met him, you'd probably wish he was."
"Is that so?" Lambert drawled, emptying his tankard with a disappointed sigh. He couldn't believe it was empty again.
"You suffered the same shit fate I did. Your human was trained by Cats. Guxart turned into an utter dick."
The words were muttered darkly and Lambert tried not to take it to heart how much hatred Vesemir oozed. It made him all that much more determined to not go the same way as the bitter old man. Instead, he turned to Geralt with a leer. "So, is it gay or is it masturbation to want to get off with your own daemon?"
To say the table erupted in uproar was an understatement. Geralt was scowling somewhat fierce, arms crossed over his chest in protest. It only egged Lambert on further.
"I think it's incest," he declared with a shit eating grin. "Technically it's part of your family because you have the same parents."
"It's masturbation at most." Geralt was growling and glowering. "Because the daemon was still part of you."
Through it all, Eskel stayed rather quiet. It was only when the other two looked to him for opinion that he leaned forward, propping himself up on the table with a serious crease to his brows.
"I think-" the words were low and measured, "-that as long as everyone involved consents, it's fucking hot is what it is."
"The only thing it is," Vesemir finally butted in, "is a disaster waiting to happen. You don't want to meet your counterparts. Trust me."
Except that only made Lambert all the more keen. He wanted to both prove Vesemir wrong and also have what Geralt and Jaskier seemed to be hurtling towards. So, come spring, he set out with the intent of fulfilling one contract only. It was one that he would pay himself for in emotional fulfilment. He was going to find every Cat he could until he found Luca.
He met Gaetan along his travels who laughed in his face and said he was much more into snakes than wolves. That was an encounter Lambert was more than eager to cut short because he did not want to think about how Letho and Gaetan were oddly complementary. It was also another jolt of bitter jealousy, another Witcher and daemon had been reunited while he was still out there looking for his own. Assuming Luca had survived.
Meeting Guxart was a bit of an accident and Lambert wished he'd not encountered the old Cat. He growled and hissed about his stupid daemon who would probably have turned into a useless pigeon if left alone. There was obviously no love lost between them and Lambert desperately hoped he wasn't going to have the same fate.
Third time lucky, as the saying went. Lambert had trailed the new Cat for a few days, learning his habits and watching him work. There was no ounce of recognition or familiarity. But then again, the last time Lambert saw Luca, they were being dragged away from each other, foreign hands on his rapidly shifting body so his eyes could barely adjust enough to see the screaming, tear filled face of his human. It was quite possibly the worst last image he could have had of Luca.
Satisfied that the Cat wasn't someone Lambert wouldn't want to associate with, he approached in the evening when the campfire was still bright but slowly settling.
"I was wondering when my shadow would make himself known," the Cat said easily enough, barely glancing up from where he was whittling something.
The last two times Lambert had tried to be careful with exploring the idea of the Cat Witcher being his human. He was tired and cut straight to the point.
"Luca?"
By the fire the man froze. It was only luck that meant Lambert could hear the shuddering exhales of someone trying to keep up the façade of calm and collected. Finally, the man set his carving aside and stood with an easy smile that felt like a thousand lies.
"I go by Aiden." It wasn't a reply and Lambert knew it.
"I don't remember my name," he admitted softly, desperately hoping he wasn't about to make an utter tit of himself. "People call me Lambert. But I'm looking for my Luca."
He didn't expect to suddenly have an armful of Witcher clinging to him like their very lives depended on it.
"It's really you!" Aiden sounded close to tears. "You never did have a single name, usually going by Idiot, Pain In The Butt, Menace and so many other equally flattering names."
"Guess that never changed," Lambert laughed wetly. He held Aiden close, wishing he could feel as he used to when they were connected. "We have a lot of catching up to do."
It was just that start of something Lambert never thought he'd have. Easy companionship, shared disdain for the whole Witcher thing, stories upon stories of contracts gone well, gone wrong, or just plain gone. By the time winter rolled round, Lambert was firmly of the opinion that he and Aiden would travel together, fuck the Path and all the teachings about it being lonely. If Geralt could have his bard then they sure as hell could have each other.
Getting to Kaer Morhen, Lambert gleefully had an arm slung around Aiden's shoulder, introducing him to the rest of his family. He especially delighted in the flaring of Vesemir's nostrils as he took in the situation.
"Cats and Wolves don't mix. You of all people should know that."
"And you should know it's my life's mission to prove you wrong, old man," Lambert shot back.
Perhaps the most curious part of the whole winter was that Geralt was already back with not one, but two guests. Jaskier was a known quantity and Lambert greeted him warmly. The other though was a near silent man who watched them through eyes that looked way too old for his body.
"This is Cahir," Geralt said when the man didn't even introduce himself. "We'd heard rumours of a Nilfgaardian without a daemon and went to investigate."
"Not a Nilfgaardian," Cahir grumbled with a half-hearted glare.
It took Lambert a moment to figure out just why Geralt would bring such a man back before his eyes widened in delighted realisation.
"You think that-"
"Mhm."
That was the extent of their conversation because Lambert was cackling in delight. He looked Cahir over with a newfound interest. Young, like Jaskier but so very different in behaviour. As much as they'd wondered about Eskel's daemon's fate, this wasn't one they'd predicted.
Three days later Eskel was leading Scorpion into Kaer Morhen's courtyard. Lambert and Aiden were all but bouncing with excitement, not wanting to miss the moment Eskel met his daemon. In their opinion Geralt was drawing things out and making it less fun by not having them all meet in the stables. Instead, Eskel was allowed to venture into the kitchen in the company of Lambert and Aiden who were vibrating in anticipation.
"Eskel," Geralt greeted him with a warm hug. Jaskier and Cahir were behind him, even Vesemir had ventured out to see what the outcome would be. "It's good to have you home. Allow me to introduce you to Cahir."
The two looked at each other with guarded gazes and Eskel gave a terse nod. It was as anticlimactic as fuck. No recognition, not interest, nothing. Just a slow once over which, if Lambert had thought about it, was pretty much a mirror image of each other, equally considering and closed off.
Despondent, he dragged Aiden off, helping lay the table for a shared meal. Vesemir was quick to follow, there was no way to tell whether he was disappointed or relieved by the lack of drama. Geralt and Jaskier wandered out, oddly deflated. Not two seconds later there was an almighty crash from the kitchen and they were all racing back. Only to turn right around and flee after a glimpse of Cahir pinning Eskel to a wall and kissing him like Eskel was the last gasp of air for a drowning man.
"So, are they?" Jaskier asked, glancing towards the kitchen. Something else crashed and thumped but it was best not to investigate.
After a moment it was Vesemir who tiredly said, "Does it matter? It doesn't seem like they much care."
All in all, Lambert didn't think he cared either. Cahir and Eskel seemed happy enough in their new acquaintanceship, trying to figure out their past could wait, if they even wanted to explore it. Though Lambert had a hard time imagining Cahir as a goat. Over the years he'd heard Eskel lament enough about how his daemon preferred to take the form of a goat.
Regret came the next morning at breakfast when Eskel and Cahir appeared at the table, seemingly indifferent. If the rest of them hadn't see the two almost violently making out in the kitchen before disappearing to a bedroom, they wouldn't have guessed anything had gone on between them.
"Hey Geralt," Eskel called, face passive. "You know the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?"
"A mountain goat could live in Kaer Morhen but a goldfish couldn't?"
Eskel rolled his eyes. "No, a goldfish mucks around a fountain."
"And a mountain goat fucks around a mountain," Cahir finished the joke. He and Eskel high fived without looking at each other. Lambert only smacked his head on the table when Cahir continued, "And I am no goldfish."
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moonbaby26 · 3 years
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Title: A Party and a Spy
Pairing: Loki x Goddess!Reader
Summary: Story set nearer the Viking Age. You were a Greek sea goddess who crossed paths with the god of mischief. Continuation of previous chapter. Loki is forced to return to Asgard to unwillingly participate in the festivities honoring Odin and Thor’s victories in Alfheim. He ends up drunk and in a piss poor mood that he then wants you to help relieve. Your secret meetings also finally attract an unwanted visitor. Super brief cameos here by Sif, the warriors three, and Thor, as well as Heimdall again.
Warnings: Semi smut possibly, but no real sex this chapter. Sorry to tease, will be some next chapter. Here is just mentions of arousal, grinding through clothing. Mention of masturbation. Also some animal abuse, but a magical animal who will be fine I guess. The princes are just jerks like that.
Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Taglist: @rosaline-black , @lawfeys , @loveableasshole , @insanitybyanothername , @just-wordsandthoughts , @cringingmemeries
My Masterlist
——————————
You still felt warm, your head just poking out from under the blanket as you stretched a little. Your hand ran out across the mattress after a moment though, contacting nothing to your surprise as you then opened your eyes.
As you quickly sat up, the look on your face must have said far too much as you heard a chuckle from nearby.
“No, goddess, I haven’t left just yet. My, you are expressive though.”
As you turned your head towards the voice, you saw Loki now sitting in one of the two chairs at the small table opposite your side of the bed.
He was still dressed only in a pair of pants you also quickly noted, yourself still so unused to seeing this much of him as your eyes lingered on the lean muscle and pale skin.
“What?” He asked, not missing that stare either, though the sly look in his eyes told you he knew damned well what you were now distracted with. He just wanted you to say it.
“Asgardians really do wear too many clothes, if you are any proper example anyway.” You replied simply though. Why hide so much all the time?
He raised an eyebrow, but was smirking as he taunted a little further. “Oh I can assure you, there is no one in Asgard like me. And you’d prefer this not be reserved just for you then?”
You tried not to look caught off guard. Even if he were only teasing, the implication that he’d still be keeping this type of intimacy for you alone was something that made your stomach flutter slightly.
“Come here.” He said next though, snapping you back to attention, though you still hesitated. Was that a command or a request?
He only rolled his eyes after a moment though. “Oh, don’t waste time trying to be proud now. I do have to leave shortly, it will already be late morning in Asgard by now.” He extended a hand to you. “So come, sit with me.”
You eventually acquiesced, standing from the bed then, though intending just to walk to the other chair. Yet the very moment you were close enough, he only grabbed you by the arm, pulling you down to sit on his lap instead.
He was surprisingly fast and strong when he wished to be, his arms already around your waist as well before you could think to try and stand again.
“There. That wasn’t so hard was it?” He spoke lowly against your ear as you shifted.
But to your surprise he didn’t touch you any further, even though one arm did stay around your waist to keep you steady as his other hand just went back to the table.
“I have a job for you.” He added, then moving his hand oddly as a piece of parchment paper and a writing quill appeared abruptly from thin air. “At least I think it may work. I’m sure the majority of these animals are illiterate. I’m hoping at least the clan chief has some shaman or someone of the sort that understands these runes. It’s the only written language I’ve ever seen in this land.”
But even as he started to write on the paper, your mind was still only fixating on what you’d just seen as you asked abruptly. “How did you do that?”
He seemed focused on whatever symbols he was now putting on the page, but he still answered. “How do I do what? They’re just runes.”
“No, how did you conjure the pen and paper?” Controlling the elements, moving objects by will, or casting illusions was one thing. But forming a very unnatural, man made object from essentially nothing was different than the typical kind of magic you were used to.
Loki paused a moment then, like trying to digest what you’d just said before he glanced back up to look you in the eyes.
“The woman can move the seas themselves and is astonished by a piece of paper?” He mocked incredulously.
Your eyebrows lowered. “Listen, I know good and well I’m no sorceress. That’s why I’m asking. How do you create something like that from nothing?”
He shook his head. “Gods, they really just give magic to anyone these days.”
A joke clearly, as everything you had you had been born with, though learning to control it had taken time. And to be honest, was still an ongoing learning process. But you still wanted an answer as you looked at him pointedly.
He sighed under your gaze. “I really don’t have the time for this. But I know you won’t let it go.” He had continued writing though even as he kept talking. “I didn’t make them, goddess. I brought them with me. You are at least correct in that nearly all instances of magic, nothing can be made without taking of something else. I’m sure when you make those little whirlpools of yours for instance, you’re drawing the latent energy from the water. The currents, the temperature differences, what have you. To truly make something from nothing...well, that would be chaos magic. Which, may or may not even exist depending which of the ancient mages’ tomes you most believe in.”
You could tell he did take pride in his studies and the principles behind them clearly. If he wasn’t already concerned about returning to Asgard, you could probably get a whole lecture on this subject right now. But you couldn’t help but point out again, as you just responded. “Yet you still haven’t really answered my question. If you brought them with you, where were they before?” You glanced down at his pants as if to reaffirm your doubt that anything other than himself had been hidden there as they were relatively tight.
Yet he still smirked at your continued insistence. “On the scale of the things I’m capable of, my dear, that’s just a parlor trick. And if you really care so much, I can teach you at some other time.”
At that, he paused writing again though, placing the quill down momentarily as he then moved his hand again for a long dagger to abruptly be held in his palm. “You see? There are far better uses to this trick.” He flipped the knife just as quickly though, letting the blade’s point stab into the table as the dagger then stood on end.
And as it did so he made sure to look to see your reaction, also asking you, “Do you really just depend on your servants to follow you around at all hours with any weapons you may need?”
Yet you just looked from the dagger, then back to him. Surprised surely, but not actually frightened. “And do you have so many enemies as to always need that at the ready?”
“One never really knows do they?” He answered smoothly, just grasping the dagger’s handle again before it disappeared once more.
It didn’t seem like a threat really. But you felt he still wanted you to know a bit more of what he was capable of. You quieted afterward as he went back to writing for a few more moments.
When he was done, you could tell he glanced over the letter briefly, as if proofreading before he rolled the paper tightly and folded it.
He spoke rather business like then, an odd thing honestly as you still sat so intimately on his lap. “If it wasn’t already obvious, I’d like you to carry this to the village leader while I return to Asgard. I don’t have the time to deal with the mortals right now, and besides, they’re your pets.”
“Excuse me? Have you forgotten whose idea this whole ‘protector’ role was to begin with?”
“Oh, I was willing to let the lot of them be wiped out if you’d chosen not to save them. I’d only need to spare whichever the nicest home was from burning as the marauders moved through, and we still would have ended up with a place to meet regardless.”
The sad thing was, you were actually sure he really meant that too. But he just continued.
“Yet you pitied them, and now here we are. And as the beasts held up their end of the bargain, I agree it’s fair at least to give them some recognition for their work. A pat on the head and a ‘good dog’ essentially, that’s what this letter says. So you see, I’m not wholly ungrateful.”
“A thank you letter?” You asked dryly. Relatively sure it likely didn’t read completely as such.
“Well, essentially. But with a reminder on the rules as well.”
“Rules?”
“Our privacy must be respected. I’ll put a green flame at the end of the trail nearer the village when we’re present. During the night, this place is also solely ours. If during the day there’s no flame, then they can come up and clean and maintenance this tiny wood hutch like good help should.”
“Your staff at your palace must just adore you.” You mused sarcastically. “The mortals are not our slaves, Loki.”
“It’s really an odd thing how you fancy them.” He retorted, though with an air of someone just humoring another person they already thought irreparably deluded. “But I suppose you have nothing else fulfilling to pass the time when I’m in Asgard. Some people like to paint, others like to craft things...you, you have your pets.”
Arrogant god you thought. As if suddenly you had no other purpose outside of him? Surely he saw that insulted look in your eyes as well, because you could see the entertained mirth in his own before he pulled you closer to kiss you suddenly.
And this one was rough again, briefly reminding you of that night in the cave as you felt his hands move down to your hips. His tongue was already in your mouth before you could even consider pulling away.
From last night when he’d only held you, to now seeming so hungry again, the sides of him could change so quickly you were learning.
His hands didn’t move beneath your dress though, even though you thought his fingers may be grabbing you hard enough to bruise as he twisted you to be fully facing him. Straddling him actually with each of your legs now on either side of him as he rested against the back of the chair.
He kept kissing you, and it wasn’t long before you felt that distinct hardness against you even through his pants. As always though, you wore nothing beneath your dress, a matter of practicality really for as often as you were in the water. Who would want any undergarments constantly rubbing and chaffing where you were most sensitive? You liked sheer and loose material in the dresses you wore, so that it moved easily as you swam and dried quickly when you were on land.
But he knew all this by now of course, as he just ground his hips then, that rough seam of his pants then moving between your legs as he drug it back and forth.
He was intentionally trying to work you up. You sensed the trap, but still found your own hands moving across his bare chest soon enough.
Your newfound lack of willpower was really astounding. Finally though, you pulled your head back to break the kiss and warn him. “If you’re just doing this with no intention to actually follow through...”
“If you wanted it so badly, you could have taken it last night.” He retorted though. “I’ve already stayed too long.”
“Why can’t I want both?” You answered, meaning it as well. It wasn’t just sex, nor was it just being in his company. Neither by itself was enough anymore. Each had its own place.
He looked frustrated himself though as you felt him thrust against you reflexively, that bulge in his pants wasted even as it scraped against where you were now becoming wet. “I’m telling you, Odin is back at the palace now. I have to be calculated in the times I come and go. There is some damned ceremony today, likely starting any moment by now for their victories in Alfheim. If I’m not there, they’re going to come looking for me.”
As much as you knew he liked to bend the truth. It wouldn’t make sense for him to deny himself this right now unless it was actually for good reason.
“Well you’re the one who pulled me into your lap and kissed me.” You relented, though your own body now fully flustered and urging you to return to him even as you stood up and stepped away.
“Well you shouldn’t have slept so late.” He grumbled back. Pulling at his pants in some discomfort as he stood as well.
But you watched as his armor manifested then, horned helmet and all as his magic washed across him. What you guessed would now be his attire for the ceremony he’d spoken of. You assumed that clothing and armor had been in whatever void the pen, paper, and dagger had been.
At least with his illusions he could also conceal his arousal if it hadn’t faded on its own by the time he reached the palace though, you thought with some amusement.
Yet, even as he walked for the door, he taunted to you as if sensing your enjoyment of his current predicament. “You’re welcome to get back in the bed you know. Think of me while you self soothe, goddess.”
So crude. But you just fired back before he could close the door. “And is that what you do at night in Asgard? Think of yourself as well to finish things off?” You were trying to mock his evident self importance of course.
Yet he didn’t even miss a beat at the intended insult. “Why be myself when I can just be you? Then I never have to forget how you feel.”
And just to prove that he could, you stared in disbelief as a perfect likeness of yourself then smiled back at you lewdly, thin dress and all before shutting the door unceremoniously.
Gods. That was just unnatural. And you had to sit down at that, arousal now paused at least as your body’s resulting confusion was almost palpable.
———————————
Asgard, not long after
Loki was back to his normal appearance, hurriedly stepping into the small grouping of warriors he’d recognized at once in the rest of the crowd at the palace ceremonial hall.
Sif’s head turned in immediate surprise and annoyance as those golden horns entered her peripheral vision. The irritation was evident even as she tried to keep her voice low with so many others still around them. “And just where have you been!? Thor was looking for you everywhere!”
“I was in the library, did he think to look in the library!?” Loki spat back immediately, knowing that even if his brother had checked there, Thor knew the layout of it so poorly, he could always have claimed to have been in another section.
“Yet why are you breathing so hard, chap? Were you actually running?” Fandral asked as well, also looking Loki over.
“And why pray tell would I have been running?” Loki shot a glare to him next. Could they not mind their own damned business for once?
“Because you were late?” Volstagg offered in that simplistic, yet matter of fact way that was always beyond annoying even on the best day.
“Well I’m here now.” Loki huffed, though not missing the way Hogun was also staring at him critically. “And do you have something to add?” Loki grumbled at him.
But only Sif answered. “Well if you hadn’t been lost in the library,” Her tone made clear how little she believed that excuse, “You’d know that Thor chose you to give the congratulatory speech before-”
“The what?” Loki stared at her, that odd mix of horror and disgust then abruptly clear on his face.
——————————
“So what more can I say of Asgard’s favorite son?” Loki’s public speaking voice boomed richly through the great hall, the throng of happy faces sickening as he smiled right back at them. What fresh Hel was this really?
“Alfheim counts her graces I am sure to have such noble saviors defend her-” By the gods he didn’t even know what Odin and Thor had done there the entire time. He assumed there’d been skull bashing and the normal heroics. But if they’d been working out peace treaties instead the last few weeks, who knew. He’d been looking for hidden portals to Midgard still on the days they’d held the main debriefings.
“And with peace secured in the realms once more, please join me in giving thanks to the noble Allfather and the mighty Thor!” Loki wasn’t normally one for alcohol. Not in comparison to most Asgardians anyway. He thought it dulled the mind too much. But by all the mages in all the realms...he so badly needed it now, as he took a large swig of the strongest Asgard had, before throwing the glass down to shatter it as was custom. “And let the feasts commence!”
The crowd erupted in cheers. And on any other day, that would have been something he obviously would have wanted. But Loki knew that not one voice was for him as he suddenly felt a large hand and arm go around his shoulders, shaking him roughly before his brother’s voice joined the yells, yet right in his ear.
“HUZZAH!” Thor cried, one arm still around Loki as his other lifted Mjolnir triumphantly.
—————————
And it was so many hours later before Loki had finally escaped. Time and time again as he’d tried to excuse himself from the endless barrage of drinks and food, it was as if his brother had somehow sensed it.
Then there would be Thor again, telling him any one of those same stories over and over as he’d somehow corralled Loki back into the feast room. If he’d had to hear one more time how with one hand forced behind his back, and Mjolnir still in mid air, that Thor had kicked one of the enemies’ bombs right back into their own garrison, taking out an entire enemy troop as more of their stored artillery then exploded...Loki may have finally vomited.
As it was now, he wasn’t exactly walking a straight line either though. Just carrying his own helmet in one hand, his head already throbbing as he made his way slowly through the corridors. His other arm reaching out occasionally, grazing the walls for balance.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d drank so much. Well, more like been forced to drink so much, just to try and maintain his sanity in what was essentially just another gathering of his brother’s sycophants.
Honestly did Thor even see it? Did he really think all those hanger-ons were truly his friends? Perhaps there was some argument for Sif and the warriors three. As thick headed as they all were, they were about cut from the same cloth. And that was not a compliment.
But all the others? It’d be almost pitiable really if it weren’t so damned annoying. Yet maybe it was the alcohol there as well, making Loki linger on so many of these feelings again.
By the time he reached the entrance to his quarters, he was frowning as he pushed the heavy doors open. He still made sure that they shut fully behind him though as he waved his hand to lock them doubly with a spell.
It was not without precedent that in some true late night madness, either Thor, or Thor, Fandral, and Volstagg may still force entry to try and get him to accompany them on some additional drunken adventure while they were still riding so high on their accomplishments.
“Idiots,” Loki grumbled to no one though. Still stuck in that sour mood as he moved across the dark room, losing clothes as he did so before finally ending up in his elaborate bed. The silken sheets were then the only thing against his skin as he laid there in silence, though the room still feeling like it was moving slightly in his lingering vertigo.
But he just wanted to sleep. That and to will this headache and the thoughts that worsened it away.
But instead he only laid there. His drunken thoughts churning louder and louder as the minutes passed, alone in this extravagant, luxurious, and also very empty bed.
Scattered across the palace now, he could only imagine all the couplings likely occurring. Not necessarily in the full sense of the word. But he knew how these types of festivities normally ended.
Thor was likely in an archway somewhere with Sif, pawing at each other with all the finesse of a pair of schoolchildren. Fandral and Hogun would still be at a table, Fandral now showing off his sword to a couple maidens simultaneously with only thinly veiled euphemisms of how it compared to the hidden equivalent. And Volstagg would have his actual wife and children there, somehow still not bored of them yet as they all laughed together.
And that’s what it really was, laughable.
Loki rolled onto his side, glaring towards the balcony and the stars dotting the black sky beyond it. No, he didn’t need any of that farce of companionship. Not just for the sake of it anyway like all the others. He took what he wanted, when he wanted surely. Pleasure was one thing after all, but it didn’t control him.
You didn’t control him actually. Because no one controlled the god of mischief.
But the longer he lay there in silence, the more he could then imagine your fingers soon running through his hair, or the warmth of your lap to lay his aching head in. He’d had bad days before, many times retreating to this very room alone. But he didn’t have to be alone tonight. He didn’t have to be alone at all anymore did he?
“Goddamnit.” He finally hissed. It was foolhardy, dangerous even after just returning from Midgard already once today. But he wasn’t going to sleep tonight otherwise. Not until he had what he really wanted.
——————————
Loki certainly wasn’t going to be walking all the way to the bifrost gate. Not at this hour, and not in this condition. So he’d taken a form that at least no one would have second guessed if they’d just happened to look up as he’d passed quickly overhead.
One of Father’s ravens, or the rats with wings as he preferred to call them. And as he’d landed near Heimdall, then regaining his normal form, the older god just looked down at him, unimpressed.
“She’s returned to the ocean. She already sleeps.” Heimdall spoke unprompted.
Yet Loki’s eyebrows rose mockingly, even if his words took a little more effort right now. “Oh? Making a habit of watching her…even without me then? That’s a bit perverse.”
But the gatekeeper’s expression hardly changed at the insult, still so difficult to goad. “I saw you coming, and your questions to her whereabouts are becoming predictable.”
It was true. Loki had already come here several nights, yes. Mostly to check whether the mortals had finished that structure or not. And it’d finally been a pleasant reward just the other night when Heimdall had confirmed it already done and you there waiting.
“I don’t care where she is.” Loki retorted though. “I’m going to Midgard. Open the gate.”
“You are inebriated.” Heimdall warned.
“And you have a severely itritating penchant for stating the obvious…open the gate.” He commanded more forcefully.
“Anywhere in Midgard particular?” Heimdall answered.
Loki paused though, hearing that slightest change in the guardian’s normal stoic tone with those last words. “Are you…attempting to make a joke?”
“I did not wish to assume or state the obvious again as you said. And you also say you do not care where she is. So do you not care where you should land tonight then?”
He was! He was mocking him. Loki growled, pointing his finger for emphasis. “Now listen here…it has been a god awful, long day. Quit trying to dissuade me. Send me to the village, gatekeeper!”
“Any village?”
Gods. “My village, her village, whatever you want to call it. But do it or I’ll use the damned sword myself!”
With one last cheerless look down at Loki, Heimdall turned the sword then, opening the gate even as he warned a final time. “Do not fall from the bifrost, Prince. The universe is vast and does not suffer the careless well. Do remember as well that all things done have consequences in the end.”
But Loki had no time to search for deeper meaning in the words, just ruffling more as he walked towards the light. “Is that a threat?”
“Only a truth and a caution.” Heimdall again answered, just before the other disappeared back across the bridge.
———————————
And as the light left him again, Loki was once more in that dark forest. Yet, the ground far lighter colored than normal as to a little of his surprise, his boots now found fresh snow. Winter had finally arrived to this part of Midgard apparently.
He cursed, realizing it would have been far smarter to have told Heimdall to deposit him directly onto the beach this time as he’d now had to navigate back down the hillside and to the trail that led between the cliff face.
It had started snowing again as well as he walked, the large flakes sticking in his black hair by the time he reached the ocean’s edge. He should have told you just to stay at the cabin this morning. But he didn’t expect to be standing here again so soon either.
Loki didn’t care about the water at this point though, the waves rushing up around his feet and over the top of his boots as he trudged forward to call out. “Hear me, sea beasts! Hear me and bring your mistress to me!”
And it didn’t take long of course before he saw two feminine looking torsos rise just where the waves were breaking in the distance. Not quite human, but expressive enough that he could see the skepticism in their body language.
“She’s asleep!” One called back over the waves.
“Then go and wake her!” He only hissed back as if scolding an insubordinate child. Why did everyone feel the need to test him tonight?
But the two nymphs just looked at one another. The other then speaking. “What is so important? Are you claiming injury again?”
He scoffed at the jab, voice easily sliding into its darker range then, even in his continued drunken state. He did not have time for this. “Do not forget your place, water sprite.”
And as he made a move as if to step further into the water, he was pleased to see them both shrink back at that. When they disappeared not long after, he knew all he now had to do was wait.
—————————
You didn’t fully know what to expect. Why was he back so soon? Not that you should complain, but he’d made such a point about having to return to Asgard this morning, and he’d never come back so quickly before. Even though it was now dead of night.
The nymphs also said he’d been acting strangely, even a bit ruder than normal. They insisted you bring your spear, and so you had as you broke the surface only to find him sitting at the water’s edge. Though not even far enough onto the beach to stay dry as the water now ran around him and then pulled back with each successive wave. His pants and cloak were clearly soaked, snow also dotting all over him to your surprise.
“Loki?” You asked, concerned but cautious. Normally the rare sight of snow would have distracted you in its own right had you not been so focused on him. The north was still unique to you for all its differences.
“The cold doesn’t bother me either.” He said abruptly, seeing that worry in your eyes. But he didn’t stand out of the water. “You really should reprimand your servants…”
“It’s not quite that kind of a relationship.” You replied, though not defensively as you still tried to realize what was wrong with him. “Are you alright?”
“No.” He said simply.
If it was just another trick, it was a good one. But you felt you had no real choice but to behave as if he was sincere. You only laid your spear down in the water as you then moved to sit down beside him.
He looked over at you as you did, and you could see how tired he looked even in the darkness. So close to him then, that was finally when you smelled the scent of alcohol, impressively strong even over the salt smell of the ocean.
He was drunk.
“Loki…” You said again, unsure at all what would have driven him to this kind of excess. “Do you want me to help you to the cabin?”
He leaned closer though, as if to either kiss you or lay his head against yours. He did nuzzle your face slightly though as he whispered in your ear. “I want him to get closer first.” Before you could react though, he’d then grabbed your chin to keep you from looking away from him. “He can’t hear us over the noise of the sea…but don’t look away.”
And he did kiss you then, that heady taste of the alcohol almost as distracting as the nonsensical words. His hand was moving up your thigh as well as his other moved around to your back. It all seemed like only the beginnings of foreplay before just as suddenly, he then pushed you down beneath him. His hand that had been on your thigh pulled back simultaneously to throw a dagger violently out into the darkness.
You heard a distinct sound of a hit, a creature screech, and then chaotic flapping in the sand and snow somewhere near the cliff’s base.
Loki was now laying on top of you, your back still pressed into the wet sand as the water rushed back up around you both. He glanced back down at you then, ignoring the confusion in your eyes as he kissed you roughly several times more before finally pulling back again. “We’ll have to get back to that tomorrow…” He all but purred, mood shifting suddenly to satisfaction as he stood once more and offered you his hand.
Utterly baffled, you still took it, letting him help you up before he let go of you to walk off towards the distressed sounds you still heard near the cliff. You only hung back long enough to grab your spear before hurrying to follow him.
You didn’t know what kind of beast to expect from all the noise, and only found yourself more surprised as a pitiable looking black bird finally came into view. It flapped even harder upon seeing Loki, but with one wing clearly mangled and blood spattering the snow and sand around it.
“Oh, you over dramatic twat.” Loki fussed, snatching the hapless creature up with little fanfare as his other hand reclaimed his now bloody dagger, disappearing it again with his magic. “And which one are you?” He asked, holding it roughly near his face as it now continually tried to bite him in defiance.
You didn’t know what he was looking for, and you were about to say something about how harshly he was holding the poor animal before Loki smirked in recognition.
“Well…Muninn, you little vermin. You saw me leave the palace didn’t you? Did you really think I was your other half? Couldn’t leave well enough alone could you?”
What? So this was one of Odin’s ravens? But, Loki had just stabbed it! Was this not treason? Treason that you were now a party to? You had so many questions as your inner panic began to grow.
But Loki only kept smiling, talking with condescension to the injured bird. “Yet, for you to be here so quickly, then you’ve found my door for me. There’s a rift between Asgard and Midgard somewhere nearby…and for that you get to keep your other wing tonight, you little spy.”
—————————
As you passed back up the trail to the cabin together, you saw Loki had indeed kept his word about signaling to the mortals when you were here. A green flame floated, ethereal in midair at the edge of the tree-line.
It had a haunting look to it, but you said nothing, still so focused on Loki’s rough handling of the injured raven. And by the time you’d entered the woods, you could no longer contain yourself.
“Please don’t hold him by the chest like that. It makes it too hard for them to breathe. You’re going to suffocate him!”
At your outburst, Loki seemed to have a genuine moment of surprise, looking over at you before his normal superior expression returned. “Just because you can become a bird….doesn’t mean you should give a damn about this one. Don’t waste your time on kindness. Despite your bleeding heart, his loyalty lies only with the Allfather. He’ll snitch you out regardless.”
“But, he has lost a lot of blood. We can’t let him die, Loki…” You still kept on, worried the alcohol had truly made him lose all sense of judgement.
Again he just gave you the oddest look before outright laughing though. He shook the bird a little, making it squawk again, before continuing. “This rat and his brother are imbued with Odin’s magic. They cannot perish so easily as long as Odin still lives.”
Yet, that was still not comforting to you in the slightest. In what possible way could torturing a favored pet of the Allfather end positively for the two of you?
But Loki didn’t miss the way you still stared with disapproval, just rolling his eyes as you finally made it to the cabin. “Do you know how long we’ve dealt with these little pests? When Thor got his first slingshot as a boy, what do you think he practiced it on? When I learned my first spells, what did I test them on? There is nothing new to this…”
“That’s awful.” You grumbled, though watching as Loki did this odd movement with his shoulders, his magic shifting over him so that he was suddenly dry again.
As he walked inside, you had to shake the snow off yourself the old fashioned way. Your dress and hair still damp from that and the ocean combined as you followed him inside, leaning your spear against the wall before closing the door. “So you could do that the whole time,” You commented as to his drying trick, though not really surprised by anything else right now.
He smirked a little, knowing what you were thinking. With a wave of his hand a couple of the candles also lit. “Oh, I didn’t do it that night in the cave. You were supposed to take pity and ask me to take off some of my wet clothes…of course they ended up off anyway didn’t they?”
You crossed your arms, just frowning as he unceremoniously opened the chest on the floor next, tossing the injured Muninn into it before slamming it back closed.
“I’ll deal with you in the morning,” Loki threatened in response to the resulting angry squawk, giving the chest a light kick before the noise inside silenced.
When he turned to look at you again, he only offered a dark smile. Though still looking tired as he started to remove his clothes.
You tried to keep your disapproving look strong even as you realized he was using no magic at all, removing his vestments piece by piece as if to taunt you into further watching.
But looking away would have just goaded him too wouldn’t it? Letting him know the sight of his body still did things to you. You couldn’t win either way as all of his clothes finally laid piled on the floor, no neatness this time as he went lay nude in the bed.
You stood there a further moment, really not knowing what to do. He didn’t deserve to be rewarded right now in your mind. But were you just supposed to walk right back out the door? You didn’t have the willpower for that either, not anymore.
He watched you lazily too, waiting. His voice was quieter now though as he did speak again. “If I’d wanted to sleep alone…I would have just stayed in Asgard.”
Your shoulders lowered a little at the softer words, but you didn’t know how much you really believed him. You finally did approach the bed however, removing your wet dress, and not missing the way his eyes moved across your body before you climbed in under the blanket beside him.
But you could also tell he was in no condition for love making, even as you felt his hand encircle one of your wrists, himself then pulling your hand up so your fingers fell into his hair.
He gave you an imploring look, making his intention clear even if unexpected. It was so strange, but you complied, starting to rub your fingers through his hair and along his scalp gently.
The way he clearly relaxed into the touch reminded you so much of a placated animal truly. And he even closed his eyes as you just continued stroking, letting the black hair work repeatedly between your fingers.
To drunkenly cross the vast breadth of space just for this minor affection, also risking exposure by his Father’s informants, was it telling you that he really was so reckless after all? Or…was this becoming a real need for him?
Were you becoming a need in his life?
You felt him line up his body with yours, flesh to flesh as he got further comfortable.
“Thank you.” You heard him say at last. Surprising you enough that you could find nothing to say in return.
You just kept on with your soft touches though, comforting the troublesome prince all the way until he finally fell asleep in your arms.
——————————
(Continued in next chapter here)
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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years
Text
Wed 7 Apr ‘21
Louis left Tulum and went to Mexico City, and we got airport pics from both ends: the gathered fans were told by his bodyguard that they should keep their distance but that yes, pictures would be allowed. Thank you Louis! We got to see him a little for the first time in so long, in videos of him walking by (and getting ready to walk by) and blurry pics of him with his guitar, and Oli and Charlie- I’m excited to someday see the footage of whatever they’re working on. But for now, finally some proper pictures of the long long hair, or at least the below the hat part, all flippy and like...LONG! It’s on his SHOULDERS! Early pics had some interesting shadows around an elbow, prompting a flurry of NeW TaTtoO?? excitement, but when more pics were posted we could see that no, his elbow remains the same, false alarm. Once that tattoo kerfuffle died down the interest refocused on his shirt, which featured- a whole damn pile of skulls!
Louis went through a long phase of wearing skull shirts a while back, and the fact that it was during a period of a lot of very pointed t-shirt messages (and that he kept doing it more than ever despite knowing what we were reading into it) seemed to reinforce the theory that he did in fact mean things by it, and seeing him say yes to fan photos while wearing this shirt for the occasion… well! WELCOME BACK public Louis, we MISSED YOU! Yesterday’s shirt was for the band Obituary- is the band name a nod at the fact that Syco, generally considered to be the main target of previous skull shirts, is now dead and gone (rest in pieces assholes:))? Is Louis drawing attention to the livestream that band did a few days ago for their album ‘The End Complete’, and if so, is that also about Syco or about… something else? Inconclusive, but if we were meant to find their song “End It Now”, that can truly only be about one thing!! Am I to believe that SBB himself, Mr “I like to draw the fans’ attention to the lyrics of things” just, whoopsy, missed that! I mean, you would think every band on earth has lyrics about “ending it“ with the number of times he’s made that mistake, damn… he just never learns. Poor Louis, gosh how embarrassing! Lol. Anyway, I’ve seen people wondering lately what will happen when all the fans that have joined us in this time of lockdown and of no real contact with Louis will react when their version of Louis has to compete with the real one- and him barely being back at all but immediately reminding people that he is not a dad FFS feels like an excellent beginning, this should be good! BUCKLE IN friends! The real Louis is sooo much more fun than the boring made up one, just get ready to enjoy the chaotic energy and trying to keep up with him….
Oh also Louis liked a Snuts tweet about being underdogs as they fight to get the release week UK #1 for their new album, and a charity says they reached out to Louis AND LOTTIE to play in their celeb footie match PLEASE, HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE? Come on Tomlinsons, say yes!
Liam has a big interview in Glamour to promote his BAFTAS performance! If *I* were doing the piece I would have really gone hard on the Two Liams angle of the performance (in which Liam will be accompanied by a hologram of himself) but alas they are boring and only interviewed one of him- maybe the part where he says “you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person” sort of counts? The “that's always something I've really struggled with” makes it not so fun though, but that’s a Liam interview for ya; worrisome and makes you want to hug him a lot. “I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away,“ he says, and today is no exception. We catch up on the time since last we heard from him, when he told us he was going to take some well-earned time off and try to focus on writing new music; he continues to have difficulty with downtime unfortunately. Oh Liam, I do wish it were easier for you to take a break! He says, “I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit... not being able to go anywhere, not being able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself” and “for me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards.” He goes on to say “so, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today,” and I wish I believed him, but that’s Liam’s way, to be like oh I need to add something upbeat and end on a cheerful note! So IDK. He also talks about drinking too much, at the beginning of lockdown especially, and how he’s dealt with it by getting back to working out and dieting. There’s nothing there that he hasn’t talked about before (he’s publicly addressed both his struggles with alcohol dependency and has talked a lot about his disordered eating though he hasn’t himself named it that) but after publication Glamour edited the piece to omit the part about his drinking-- I’m guessing the augmented reality app people didn’t feel it fit their ideal image (sigh). What that leaves is him saying how nice it was to be able to eat what he wanted during lockdown but that having the boundaries and rules in place of restricting his food again has made him feel better about himself, which if you ask me is still plenty distressing. Oh Liam :( <I’ve never wanted to hug someone so bad/ Spongebob meme> On a slightly more cheerful note, he tells us he feels supported and heard by a manager that he’s close to, and by Louis, and that those relationships are good for him (the interviewer does ask about Bear, but financee Maya is not mentioned even once in this article). The piece ends with a startling response to a comment about his upcoming performance: “I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.”
Niall posted about his Masters (golf) fantasy league and he was seen out and about! He was photographed in London driving a car the size of a house and on the street carrying one of his dozens of different reusable water bottles, with his hair floppy and down- is it a new haircut or just unstyled??- and shorts and little roundish shades. Hello Neil! There was a rumored sighting of Harry in London as well but no pics and like we know he’s there anyway so… shrug. And iHeart award nominations are up, and they’re pitting louies against harries, ouch. Will it be nasty (well when isn’t it even without this voted category, sigh), or will the louies simply steamroller everyone as per usual? Only time will tell, but if so harries can console themselves with their likely wins in the Male Artist of the Year, Best Lyrics (Adore You), and Song of the Year (WS) categories.
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bostongirl13 · 3 years
Text
Merry Christmas
A/N: It should have been a follow-up to this 👉 New Dodger Photo, but Chris didn't upload a new Dodger photo and I had to improvise because I really wanted the story to go on. I'm sorry for the mistakes and hope you enjoy it.
P.S. Why do I always have such a problem with writing the ending
Summary: Every woman loves diamonds
Words: 1200+
Warnings: AGE GAP, fluff, mistakes
My works: You are my home;  I do not stare, I admire;  Christmas Shopping 
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Christmas is a time for family and friends, for warm drinks and warm laughter, for sharing good stories and books, a time for the wealth of loving bonds, to see the "unseen" everything that makes living so wonderful every day of the year. This year was really hard and for you, it was the first time you spent Christmas without your family. Luckily, you weren't alone.
"Y / N have you seen my watch, the one Scott gave me last year?"
"Did you check on your hand?" you laughed.
"Don't be so smart pretty girl" Chris walked up to you and kissed you on the forehead.
You smiled as you turned away from him and walked towards the wardrobes. Although you did not spend these holidays with your family, you did spend them in the company of the sexiest, most wonderful, and beloved man in the world. You were happy that at least he came into your life in this strange and crazy year.
"Ready?"
You nodded and grabbed his hand.
The Evans family home was far from a peaceful oasis. Children running around, adults talking, the sounds of the TV and toys mixed with Christmas songs in the background. You had to admit that you liked such a holiday very much. For as long as you can remember, it was always just you, mom, and dad. There were many more people here.
Late in the evening time slowed down. Tired children sat and watched Christmas cartoons and movies, while adults sat on the couch, armchairs, and the floor. The gingerbread men with their chocolate buttons and eyes were resting on the plate. Soon they will be dunked in Italian style hot chocolate.
When the end credits of Frozen appeared on the TV, Chris stood up and walked over to the piano in the corner of the room. You smiled as you stroked the Dodger who was sleeping soundly on the couch next to you, his head in your lap. Scott took his brother's place on your dear side mumbling something under his nose that how was it possible that the dog was sitting on the couch and he was on the floor, and you burst out laughing and nudged him with your elbow. After a short while, Chris started playing one of the famous Christmas tunes.
Christmas tree lights flickered as if they are the moon on a starry night; bright, beautiful, and breath-taking, illuminating your boyfriend's profile. And the sound stirs wonders in your soul.
You were never in love like you were in love with Chris. This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout my whole body. It’s overwhelming, yet makes you feel complete. It feels as though you are in a dangerous fire, yet you are completely safe at the same time. It feels as though someone's given you peace. It feels as though your heart is dancing around your chest.
After playing a few songs, Chris stood up and, not taking his eyes off you, walked over, taking something out of his pocket in the meantime. You were a little distracted from talking to Scott until Chris stood in front of you and looked at you with those blue eyes of his.
"Y / N" he began and knelt on one knee. In his hand, he held a small satin box which he opened, and you saw a silver diamond ring. "When I first met you, you seemed like a free bird who doesn't care about the future and lives only in the present, but I quickly realized that there was much more to you. Getting to know you day after day I saw how you have your life planned, and at least you try to do it as far as fate allows you "he laughed nervously. Tears started to build up in your eyes and your breath got stuck in your lungs, you couldn't draw air, but it felt good. " Falling in love with you and I realized you are my home. When you smile at me, time stops, when your hands wrapping around me you made me feel safe. When your eyes are locked on mine, it's like I can see galaxies instead of just pupils. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world like I can conquer anything. I don't regret meeting you and I know I might be your first but what I really wish in life is for you to be your last.” Chris took a deep breath. "We used to talk about children, the future, marriage. And when I asked if at 22 you would be ready to start a family with someone, you replied that if you could find the right person you would say yes without hesitating. So I hope I am the one. the right person and answer "yes" to my question. Will you marry me, Princess? "
When he asked you it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from your lungs floating into the air like midnight smoke. You never thought you would hear that question from someone, and certainly not from Chris Evans. But life likes to surprise as it turns out. Seeing the man kneeling in front of you, the world began to spin around you. But you knew he was the one.
Every time he kissed you it felt like the world stopped, leaving just the two of us to wander the earth together. Every time you held your face between his hands it felt like he was untying all of my knots. Holding you for eternity in the arms you’ve grown so accustomed to. This is what falling in love was like, a story you never wanted to end. For so long you had longed for it, and now you feel so complete.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you did not realize how many minutes had passed since Chris asked you.
"Y / N" you heard a little girl's voice "I guess you should answer now," Stella said as she stared at you.
You looked again at the man kneeling in front of you. Chris was clearly panicked and nervous. His eyes looked at you, waiting for what you said. His whole life depended now on what words left his mouth.
"I'm sorry ..." you started and you swore you heard the loud beating heart in Chris's chest break to pieces and tears appeared in his eyes. You smiled and put your hands on his cheeks, unable to contain your emotions. "Yes, yes, I'll marry you, Chris," you finally said, feeling the tears trickle down your cheeks.
Chris breathed a sigh of relief and slipped the ring on your finger and practically attacked your mouth. He did not care that his relatives surrounded him. At that moment, he was the happiest man in the world. He shoved his tongue into those mouths, making you groan softly as your tongues danced together.
"I love you so damn much, Princess"
"I love you too, handsome"
You both confessed when you pulled away to catch your breath.
Maybe 2020 hasn't been as fucked up as it seems.
************************************************************
Tag: @patzammit  
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thefanficmonster · 4 years
Text
You Never Notice
Sykkuno x Reader (Female)
Warnings: None
Genre: Fluff
Summary: The center of someone’s world is never aware of their importance even when everyone else is in the know. People are hard to understand, no denying, but if we all spilled our truth like how Y/N admitted her feelings to Sykkuno, mutual understanding would be achieved a lot more easily. JK, she needed an eternity and maybe a thousand pushes. What’s important is the result though, right?
Requested by Anon. You are my first Sykkuno request and I wish I could thank you with a tag. Instead, I’m gonna thank you with a fic in which I put my all. Thank you for the request, hope the final product doesn’t let you down. 🥰
Here we go again. Sykkuno’s love life is brought up. This time it’s more frustrating cause I can’t shout how wrong he is about himself and the effect he has on the people around him. He has no room to speak, he hasn’t experienced what I have - one of your best friends living in your head rent-free because you’re just that whipped by them. That’s right kids, some of us never grow past the middle school crushes - they are a constant for some. That can be a good or a bad thing, it completely depends on how you view it.
Currently, him and Rae are addressing some dating rumors that started spreading about them earlier this week while Felix, Sean and I are kicking each other’s butts in Party Animals. We’re not all playing together, actually, we were all playing different games when we hopped into the call and just grouped together after playing solo got boring. Rae and Sykkuno are playing Among Us on a random server, her being the only person who’s streaming right now. She said she just wanted to clear up the dating rumors cause they were annoying to see popping up on her feed on every social media platform she’s active on.
“It’s ridiculous, really. People just look for online personalities to put in imaginary relationships. Are they that bored? I know quarantine is getting to everyone, but damn“ Rae says, laughing a bit to take the edge off her words but I know she’s bothered by this ordeal more than she’s letting on. I know how much it bothers her when people ship random youtubers and streamers together, even when she’s not involved. 
And I agree. Ever since I started streaming I’ve been shipped with my friends left and right. First Corpse, then Dave, Joel...you name them. It gets kinda gross cause these people are legit like siblings to me. Unlike Rae, though, I don’t waste my breath trying to clear those ‘talks of the net’ up. I don’t know if it’s for better of for worse that I remain silent on the issue when I’m involved but am willing to stand up for my friends when they find themselves in a similar situation. Some people think the reason I don’t share my thoughts is because the rumors are true, but the hint is most often taken, resulting in the ship ending. Well, that ship ending, there’s always a new one popping up. As Rae said, it’s ridiculous.
“Why does everyone think I am ever dating anyone? I’ve already commented on this: no one would date me.“ Sykkuno says through a sigh-like laugh.
“Why are you so sure?“ I blurt out without as much as a second thought
My eyes widen just a bit, just a bit. I’m not too surprised with myself. I am slowly losing control of my raging emotions and I’m afraid of what I’ll turn into when all my restraints snap. A mess, that’s the most likely answer.
“Well....“ Sykkuno trails off, clearly more than a little nervous, “I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I haven’t had one in a while...Nor has a girl shown any interest to be more than friends with me in what feels like forever.“
“I’m sure you just don’t notice the hints girls drop. We can be pretty subtle.“ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible while I’m still in my panicked animal mode. And by animal I mean a cub. A scared cub that is now showing confidence but will run and hide right afterwards. I silently thank the universe that I’m not streaming right now. I can feel the heat on my neck and cheeks which is pure embarrassment and would have been more than evident on-camera.
“Yeah Y/N’s right, Sykkuno. Girls can be very subtle, but they will always let you know if they like you, even through the smallest of gestures. You gotta keep your eyes open.“ Rae backs me up reassuringly.
“Guys never notice anything.“ I say, rolling my eyes. I feel the pressure lessen thanks to Rae’s involvement in the conversation.
“That’s not true.“ Sean protests, “We pay close attention, especially to girls we are attracted to.“
“Yeah!“ Sykkuno pipes in again, “I’m pretty sure I would notice if a girl was dropping signals that she likes me.“
Now that stings. That legit makes me wince and cringe as though his voice delivered an actual physical hit to my chest and stomach. It’s really unpleasant, painful even.
“You never notice.“ There’s something about this triple opportunity - proving him wrong that he’d catch onto a girl’s signals; proving him wrong that girls aren’t attracted to him; coming clean about the biggest emotional struggle I’ve experienced in recent years; - that snaps my last emotional restraints. I will totally regret this later, but after the regret comes the relief which is 100% worth it. 
“What?“ He sounds very puzzled. I can just about imagine him frowning as he tries to wrap his brain around something even I can’t wrap mine around.
“You say you’d notice a girl’s hints of attraction. OK.“ I nonchalantly throw Felix off the submarine in Party Animals while I keep talking, “Would you notice if a girl purposely doesn’t kill you in Among Us when she’s impostor? Or would you notice that a girl always sends you links to videos she finds funny? Or that she always shares music and movie recommendations with you and you only?“ 
Dead silence ensues. I feel like they have all glitched, considering Sean didn’t even try to put up a fight when I lifted him and threw him in the ocean as I previously did with Felix’s avatar.
Maybe I was a tad too specific and made the whole situation hit a little too close to home for me. 
Sykkuno and I have become really close friends and we chat and play games regularly. As I mentioned, I give him movie and music recommendations and I only recently started acknowledging the fact that I’ve never killed him in Among Us. Natural instinct I guess. In fact, I feel the need for vengeance when he’s killed. I refuse to even vote for him unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Now that I think about it, it’s not his fault he has no clue. I just don’t know how to properly drop hints.  
“Um...I mean, I guess I would notice but I’d never think they are that type of hints.“ He finally replies.
On point there, dear. On damn point.
“What does it take for you to be convinced that a girl is into you?“ Who cares that a bunch of people are about to witness this outpour? It’ll make it more real, yes, but it will also help me believe that it happened so I don’t try to crawl back to the point where return is an option. No return now. You’ve already passed two thirds of the way. The last one will set you and your mind free. 
“The only way I can be sure is if she tells me, really.“ He sounds so nervous and shy, like he’s trying to draw as little attention as possible.
He doesn’t have to worry. I’m about to pull all the attention on me.
“Well in that case....you leave me no other choice.“ My screen displays me as the winner of this round of Party Animals - an easy one considering my friends are glitched in real life. “I like you, Sykkuno. I like you a lot. And I know you will see it from every context except the one its meant to be in so I’ll be even more head-on - I’ve liked you, as more than a friend for quite some time now, but buddy, you can be sooo oblivious sometimes. Anyway...“ Here’s that regret I was talking about, it’s already creeping in. “Don’t feel the need to say it back. I don’t wanna hear it if you don’t mean it. And Rae,“ I can’t help but laugh at the thought, “Sorry for making your chat go crazy. Peace!“
And I disconnect from the Discord call.
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?“ I say out loud, staring at my desktop. “The cat’s out of the bag and you can move on now.“
I push myself to get some work done in order to get my mind off the mess I’ve created. I’m afraid of thinking about it, I know I’ll get too upset to do anything with the rest of my day if I do.
Suddenly, just as I’m about to open my email, my phone chimes. My brain doesn’t bother to stop my arm from automatically reaching out and checking the notification. A message.
From Sykkuno.
~ I knew you didn’t suggest me ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for no reason
Me ~ So...?
~ So, I’m not the only oblivious one here, Y/N
Me ~ Wait WHAT?
~ ‘Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist’?
Me ~ Oooohhhh...I see
It takes him a few seconds to reply, the bubble with the three bouncing dots popping up and disappearing a few times now. I just now feel my heart banging against the inside of my ribcage, my pulse echoing in my ears.
He did seem a little too eager for me to watch that movie...
~ So, movie date?
I laugh, wholeheartedly and honestly. Genuine joy running through my veins.
Me ~ So it is.
The grin that is now decorating my features promises to stay there for the rest of the day. I bite my bottom lip at the thought that pops into my head.
Me ~ Phew, I can stop sparing you in Among Us from now on
He sends me three cry-laughing emojis in return, but I don’t need those. I can just imagine him laughing as he usually does with one hand covering his mouth. And here I thought my grin couldn’t grow wider.
 Imagining him happy makes me smile. His happiness makes me happy. He makes me happy.
Even better...
I think the feeling’s mutual.
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silhouetteofacedar · 3 years
Text
Fox Mulder, Closet Romantic Ch. 16: Quench
Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, rated E
“You know what amazes me,” Scully says as they walk along the waterfront. “That day we first met… I never would have guessed we’d end up like this. More than partners, more than friends.”
“I didn’t expect you to last three months with me,” Mulder admits, hands in his pockets. “Part of me wanted to drive you away, make you request reassignment.”
“And the other part of you?” she prompts, gently taking ahold of his wrist and drawing his hand out. She laces their fingers together, and their entwined hands swing between them as they walk. He likes it.
“I came to admire you,” he admits. “I read your thesis, for starters, but getting to know you personally was a transformative experience. I saw your strength, your dedication to your principles, your loyalty. I came to depend on your perspective; you were always matching me, challenging me.”
“I thought you hated that,” Scully points out.
“I definitely did on occasion,” he agrees. “But I needed it. I still do. I need your rationality and clarity and willingness to listen, even when you disagree with me. Especially when you disagree,” he amends.
“Respecting the journey,” Scully concurs.
“Exactly.” He glances down at her. “What did you think of me when we first met?”
“Hmm… I’d heard a lot about you, so that definitely colored my view in the beginning,” she says. “But walking into the basement office for the first time, I thought… well, for one, you were much more attractive than I was expecting,” she confesses. “I was actually a little awestruck; that is, until you started talking.”
“Why until I started talking?” he asks, voice amused and defensive in equal measure.
“You were really laying it on thick, playing up the ‘Spooky Mulder’ image. It seemed like you’d been alone down there for a little too long,” she says cheekily.
“I’d argue with you, Scully, but I think this time you’re actually right,” he concedes. He stops walking, gives her hand a gentle tug to guide her closer.
“Are you glad they sent me to spy on you?” she asks softly, taking his free hand into her other one.
He nods and leans down, dropping a soft kiss to her lips. “Best thing the Bureau’s ever done for me.”
“We should head back to the car,” Scully says. “My feet are starting to hurt.”
“It’s impressive, the things you manage to do in heels,” Mulder notes.
“You don’t know the half of it,” she says with a sly grin.
“Scully, please, be gentle with me,” he pleads. “It’s been a long time.”
“Hm,” Scully presses her lips together, stifling a smile. “I like when you beg.”
Jesus H Christ.
The drive back to Scully’s apartment is short, and before he knows it, he’s pulling over in front of her building, not ready to say goodnight.
Scully must sense this, because she turns to him with hopeful eyes. “Would you like to come in?” she asks. “I’ll make some tea.”
Mulder bites his lip, considering. “Are you inviting me up for a drink or are you ‘inviting me up for a drink’?” he asks.
She shrugs, smiling. “Only one way to find out,” she replies.
He has to at least walk her to her door, right? It’s the chivalrous thing to do. He might as well stay for tea…
Scully seems far more relaxed than she had at the start of the evening. She undoes the straps of her little heeled sandals and kicks them off by the door, tossing her bag and shawl onto the couch.
“What kind of tea would you like?” Scully asks, going into the kitchen and opening a cupboard.
“Uh... you have any black tea?” Mulder asks, sitting on the couch. He knows he should probably be more specific, but the majority of his tea experiences are iced and made by someone else, and he frankly doesn’t know what to ask for.
“Several, actually,” Scully answers, rearranging cartons in the cupboard. “I’m making an executive decision,” she announces, pulling out a box of Constant Comment. “Missy and I liked this one best.”
He watches her over the back of the couch as she starts the kettle, takes two mugs out of the cupboard, drops a teabag into each one. Her hair is a little mussed, and the hem of her dress is dragging on the floor without the added height of her heels. He decides that seeing her all put together at the beginning of the night is no match for watching her come undone at the end.
If only every night could be like this; them sitting on her squishy striped couch, cups of spicy tea in hand, talking about the profound and the mundane. Maybe, somehow, we can have this, he thinks. Pore over case notes on the sofa, kiss each other goodnight, wake up in each other’s arms.
He decides that Constant Comment is, in fact, a very good tea.
Cup empty, Scully sighs contentedly as she rests her head on his shoulder. “This is nice,” she says. “I wish we hadn’t waited so long to do this.”
“What, sit on your coach and drink tea?”
“Well, yes, but more than that. I meant just being together, without holding things back.”
“Maybe we weren’t ready,” Mulder muses. “We needed to grow into what we wanted and needed from each other. I know it took me a long time to figure it out, and even longer to get the courage to tell you.”
“Well, I suppose not knowing how I felt didn’t help; I was too subtle. I took what I considered a big swing in Florida,” she admits, “And when you didn’t respond I decided to back off.”
“A big swing? What are you talking about?” Mulder asks.
Scully covers her face with her hands. “It’s so embarrassing now,” she groans. “Remember when they tried to send us to that team-building conference? And I came to your room with wine and cheese?”
“Yes,” he says slowly. “Wait, was that a come-on?”
“Yes!” she exclaims. “I came in with this stupid plate of cheese and minibar wine, trying to… to telegraph that I was interested, and you just kept talking about culling techniques all the way out the door.”
“What were you hoping would happen?” Mulder asks.
“I don’t know,” Scully muses. “I was newly cancer-free, and we had just been through that whole ordeal together... I wanted to take a chance and see where it went. Maybe make out a little bit, at least? I’m not sure if... if I would have been ready for more, even if you expressed an interest. But I definitely wanted it.”
“I had no idea,” he says.
They sit silently for a moment.
“I don’t suppose... we should make up for lost time?” he suggests, looking down at her.
She licks her lips, and his eyes follow the movement of her tongue.
She tilts her chin up to him, and he places his hands on either side of her jaw. He leans in, their noses brushing as he tilts his head and presses his mouth to hers. She sighs into the kiss, bringing her hands to his shoulders.
Her lips are so soft and warm, faintly flavored with spices and orange rind from the tea, and he parts his lips reflexively. Hers follow, and the sensation of their mouths slotting together makes his head spin.
Suddenly he feels the slip of her tongue again his bottom lip and he’s in a free fall. They part with a gasp.
“Too much?” Scully asks.
“No, not at all,” Mulder says quickly. “Just surprised me. It was good,” he assures her.
“Good,” she replies, taking a deep breath. “Sorry… I feel like a clueless teenager,” she says with a huff of a laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever cared this much. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling out of my depth all of a sudden.”
“I’ve never cared this much for anybody either,” he admits. “But like you said. We’ll go slow.”
She licks her lips. “Okay,” she whispers.
He angles himself towards her, sliding a hand around the back of her neck to draw her closer. “Try again?” he whispers, lips brushing hers.
“Yes,” she breathes.
He’s been holding back from this for years, he realizes; all those times his eyes caught on her lips, watching her mouth shape his name. Occupying his tongue with sunflower seeds to distract himself from what he really wanted. Leaning close, furtively whispering, convincing himself that he really needed to be in her personal space. It was all an elaborate buildup for this moment.
He has a hand in her hair, the other tentatively resting on her waist. Emboldened by her previous eagerness, he opens his mouth, inviting her in with a soft lick. She responds by looping her arms around his neck, one leg hitched across his kneecap as their tongues meet.
They kiss like kites dancing on air, ribbons twisting and tangling in the wind, all silk and cotton and hot breath. He’s not sure if he pulled her onto his lap, or if she slid across his knees of her own volition; but she’s there now, her compact body bundled against his chest. She cards her fingers through his hair, sucking his lower lip, grazing his tongue with her teeth.
Mulder wants this so badly it aches. He might die if they stop, but something below the belt is bound to make itself known, and he needs to regain control before his body gets ahead of his mind.
“Scully,” he pants, pulling back. Her cheeks are flushed, lips swollen, and his hunger intensifies. “Scully, if we’re not going to take this further tonight we need to stop now.”
She nods, lips parted as she catches her breath. One strap of her dress has fallen down her shoulder, and he tenderly replaces it with the slip of a finger.
“Don’t touch me like that,” she whispers. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I know,” he confesses. “But… sometimes I want dangerous.”
“So do I,” she says. “But you were right. We should stop.” She slips off of his lap, standing. “It’s getting late,” she say, glancing at the clock. “I have mass in the morning.”
“I hope I gave you a few things to confess,” he says, rising.
“I may add some to the list myself,” she murmurs, and his knees threaten to give way.
“You’re going to get me in trouble,” he warns her, picking up his jacket and walking to the door. “The more you talk, the harder it is to leave.”
“Then my lips are sealed,” she says. “Goodnight, Mulder.” She opens the door for him, rising onto her tiptoes to receive one more kiss.
It’s brief, but sweet, and Mulder impulsively pulls her into a hug after their lips part. “Goodnight, Scully,” he mumbles into her hair.
He's ascended; gotten high on her lips, floating through the cosmos.
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solarwonux · 4 years
Text
Beautiful Stranger || Minghao
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artist!minghao x f!reader
w.c: 4.5k
warnings: angst, fluff, its a little suggestive, self doubts
notes: In celebration of my baby’s birthday I did a thing and I’m not sorry. Happy Birthday Hao!!!
Enjoy and let me know your thoughts.xx
masterlist
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Xu Minghao is a beautiful mystery that was often left unsolved.
He prefers it this way.
Minghao realizes this after his first heartbreak. Then again after his second heartbreak. After his third, he decides to give up. If love wasn’t in the cards for him then why should he bend over backwards to reach it?
When he reached his twenties and everything spiraled out of control way too fast for his liking. He painted like his life depended on it because realistically in his universe it did. He got around using people for his pleasure and then left them out in the cold just like it had been done to him. Minghao didn’t have time for love, nor did he want it. He reserved his love for his canvases, paintbrushes, and different colors of monochromatic paints.
Then he met you.
His monochromatic colors were replaced by the sweet strawberry pink of your lipstick. His paint brushes swirled around his canvases to the melody of your laughter. Before he knew it a piece of you had infiltrated all of his paintings. Whether it was the exact shade of blue from the shirt you wore that day or the sparkling gaze behind your eyes that resembled his night sky.
He had fallen for you, for the girl that visited the university gallery every Wednesday morning to sit in front of his atrocious paintings that were unfortunately displayed as part of his final project before graduation.
At first, he never said anything, just watched you from afar wondering what thoughts were running through your head as you admired. Did you think his paint stroke pattern was lacking? Did you think he should’ve chosen other colors? Did you think his choice in reds was too dramatic?
Whatever you were thinking, it drove him insane not knowing.
He would pace for minutes before entering the gallery every Wednesday morning. Sometimes he hoped you wouldn’t be there so he could judge his own paintings in silence. His wishes never came true, as none of them ever did but it didn’t hurt to try.
“Are you stalking me?” You asked one Monday morning. After your fourth visit, you had noticed him silently walking around the gallery, sneaking glances at you from the peripherals of your eyes. At first you had assumed he was an art enthusiast like you, and admired the artwork that was displayed. Then you caught him waiting for you outside of the gallery one morning, only entering a few minutes after you had. It could’ve been just a coincidence that morning, but when it started happening more often it scared you.
So you changed your visiting dates. Opting for every Monday instead of Wednesday an hour later than your usual time. It had gone smoothly for a week until he caught on and that’s where you were now.
“Hello,” You waved your hand in front of his face, his features paralyzed in shock only until he caught sight of your hand. “Are you stalking me?
Minghao shook his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “N-No, I-I um...these are my paintings.” He shrugs and signals with his head around the four paintings that haunted him day and night.
“So, you’re telling me you’re the The8?” You ask in disbelief as Minghao cringes. There were days when he regrets choosing that as his pseudonym. After all, he was eight when he created it after coming home from his first art lesson. But letting go of it  would be letting go of that little boy whose dreams were bigger than his body and he couldn’t disappoint him especially not now.
“Just Minghao is fine.” He nods and takes his hands out of his pockets before drying them against his jeans. “Do you actually like my paintings?”
You scoff before rolling your eyes, “No I just like sitting here.” Minghao’s face falls causing you to let out a shy laugh before shoving his shoulder away playfully, “I’m playing with you I love them actually.”
“Why?”
“That’s a stupid question the The8.” Minghao rolls his eyes before breaking out into a smile as he waits for you to continue. “They’re not peaceful, in fact, I sometimes find them overwhelming to look at but they bring me peace.” Minghao’s cheeks have never felt hotter than before, his heart is palpitating at an uneven time. No one has ever described his painting the way you have and he feels like he’s going to throw up.
“That’s a stupid reason.”
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Minghao is now painting nonstop
“When are you going to paint me like one of your French girls?” You ask, chin on his naked chest as you draw patterns against the ridges of his stomach. You have no artistic talent but you love creating invisible masterpieces against his skin. He’s the only one that can see them and he loves it.
“I don’t have any French girls.” He rolls his eyes before sitting up against your headboard and grabbing his discarded boxers and putting them on. “And that’s not the quote.”
“Alright Titanic enthusiast, let me live out my fantasy.” You joke and Minghao laughs as he lays back down bringing you along with him. You pout, “When are you going to paint me?”
“Who says I haven’t already?” He smirks down at you and captures your lips with his in a slow sensual kiss. You sigh against his lips and pull him close, “I think you’re lying.”
“Impossible lying is a sin and I am a child of God.”
“And here you are consummating outside of marriage, God is disappointed in you Hao.” You peck his lips one last time before sitting up. You stand up taking your sheets along with you. Minghao stays laying down on your bed like it was his very own. He watches you closely, taking in the way your skin glows against the light of the rising sun. The way your hips dip when they meet your thighs and he can’t wait to go home again to his canvas, monochromatic paints, and paintbrushes.
If he knew that meeting you would cure his unfortunate art disease he would’ve tried a little harder to find you.
Six months ago his mornings consisted of him rushing out of bed, getting dressed as fast as possible so he makes it to the university art gallery before you. Now his mornings consist of him rushing out of bed, getting dressed as fast as possible to bring you breakfast before you leave for your morning class.
Most days though, you end up pinning him against your front door before he could mutter a ‘good morning’ to you. He doesn’t complain though, he loves the way your body melts against his. Like you were made for him, and fuck he loves it so much he wants to die.
If he were to believe in soulmates he would think you were his.
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Minghao’s parents find out.
When he went away for university Minghao lied and told his parents he was studying business communications. He wasn’t sure if they had believed him or if he didn’t care but he had spent four years studying art without their knowledge. He was living in a peaceful fantasy not sure when he’d have to wake up and tell his parents the truth. That their trust fund had gone to a degree where nothing was guaranteed.
He guesses that time is now.
Minghao and you have officially been dating for two months. And he decides to take you home for Christmas.
At first you had declined, told him that he should spend Christmas with his parents and that you were fine staying on campus alone until New Years. Your parents had gone on a couples retreat. It was needed they weren’t doing so hot for years now so you didn’t mind. Minghao on the other hand wouldn’t take no for an answer and that’s how you ended up with him hand in hand on the front door step of his childhood home.
“I should’ve stayed Hao, what if they don’t like me?” You practically yell at a low volume. Minghao rolls his eyes and brings your palm up to his lips. He leaves behind a reassuring kiss before ringing the doorbell again.
“It’s impossible to dislike you. By the end of the night they’ll probably like you a lot more than me.” He reassures bumping his shoulder against yours lightly. You stumble a little and Minghao pulls your hand to keep you from falling. His arm comes to your waist and he’s about to kiss you when the front door falls open. The two of you caught, the guilt rushing towards your faces as his parents stare back at the two of you with wide smiles.
“Don’t stand out there for too long, you'll catch a cold.” His mother's soft voice sounds and wraps around the warm porch light. They open the door further, Minghao’s grip on your hand gets tighter as he pulls you into his home. The warmth wraps around you like a protective blanket and you find yourself never wanting to leave.
For the remainder of the night until dinner Minghao doesn’t leave your side. His hand is on you at all times whether it’s on your arm, or appropriately placed against your back. His mother shows you around the small but big enough for their tiny family house, while his father finishes dinner in the kitchen. When the three of you reach Minghao’s childhood room you feel the tears brimming in your eyes.
His walls were covered with paintings he had made while growing up and seeing them displayed makes you feel proud. You see the improvement and growth in every single one as they’re sequenced by years. Your favorite one is the one he painted when he was thirteen. He notices you lingering on that one for longer than usual as his mother’s voice echoes off his navy blue walls. He never understood what it was about his art that made you forget the world around you, and you never once could explain why to him without changing the subject right away. He just hopes that one day he can get it out of you to understand your admiration.
“You like it?” Minghao whispers in your ear and it makes you jump. He chuckles as his arms find their way around your waist, the panic rushes through you at the speed of light.
“Minghao your mo-“
“Dad called her down to help, it’s just us right now.” He kisses your cheek and stays there before  trailing soft kisses down your neck. He kisses it lightly, the goosebumps appearing against your arms. “This was a mistake I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
You go frigid against his chest, as he continues to kiss down your neck until it reaches your sweet spot. “W-Why?” You move your head to the side, giving him more room. He smirks, sucking the spot he’s memorized like it were his color theory notes.
“I’m immorally thinking of every single way I can have you falling apart while my parents are downstairs.”
“Dinner is ready!”
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You should’ve kept your mouth shut, that was a problem you always had and it never resulted in anything good.
Somewhere in the midst of dinner you had briefly mentioned your love for Minghao’s artwork and how proud you were that his paintings were being displayed at the University gallery. But you hadn’t known that Minghao had lied and never told his parents what exactly he was studying.
“We’ve been paying for a useless degree?” His father forcefully drops the fork against his plate, a loud clang sounds through the small dining room.
“It’s not useless, it's what I love.” Minghao fights back and stands up, “This is why I didn’t tell you, I knew you wouldn’t approve.” He pushes in his chair, hitting the table making you and his mother jump.
“Of course we wouldn’t, you’re never going to get anywhere in life with an art degree. I didn’t raise you to be a lowlife artist.”
“You barely raised me at all.” Minghao tugs at his roots, he sends you a glare and leaves the room. The tension evident in the room and you don’t know if you should stay seated or follow him. When you hear the front door shut and you go with the latter.
“I-I’m sorry, dinner was amazing.” You stood up and pushed your chair in carefully. You knew you should’ve stayed home, but that was before when you feared his parents weren’t going to like you. Now you should’ve stayed home because your big mouth was always causing trouble.
You made your way around Minghao’s house as fast as you could and walked out forgetting about your coat and purse.
The bone chilling cold gives you whiplash as soon as you walk out. Your eyes land on Minghao, his foot tapping impatiently against the snow covered ground. He’s looking at head into the dead of the night while a cigarette burns in between his fingers. You knew he smoked but he had reassured you it wasn’t a problem and he only did it to relieve himself of all the unnecessary stress. He had stopped though, when you had become his stress reliever instead, but now you were the cause of his stress.
“I-I’m sorry I didn’t know.” You hugged yourself in a poor attempt to keep yourself warm. Minghao scoffed and brought the white stick up to his lips. His eyes closing in pleasure as he takes a long drag. “If I had known I wouldn’t have sai-“
“Sometimes I wish you would just stay out of my business.” He huffed. He flicks his finished cigratte onto the ground and crushes it beneath his boot. “You had no business in telling them.” He sends you a glare and shakes his head in disappointment. You feel the tears start to well in the corner of your eyes and you dig your nails into your arms to keep yourself from letting them go.
“I didn’t know. What was I supposed to do?” You throw your hands up in the air. You were frustrated with the situation and upset with yourself. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go, but you always managed to ruin every good thing that came into your life. And this was no different.
“I don’t know, not say anything.”
“I just wanted to show them that I don’t care what you do because I’ll support you no matter what.” You sigh, a shiver goes through your spine as he stands up. You take a step back, the look in his eyes giving the bitter winter cold a run for its money.
“I don’t want it.”
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Minghao misses you.
Since Christmas he hasn’t been able to paint anything. His mind keeps going back to the look of hurt on your face as soon as the words left his mouth. The tears that fell when you walked down the steps of his porch, shivering, out into the freezing cold. He didn’t run after you because he was afraid you finally saw him for who he was. Someone that was undeserving of your heart of gold. But he stayed and smoked two more cigarettes before walking into his childhood home.
Minghao hasn’t spoken to you in three weeks and tries to fill the void with his cigarettes, to let the poison smoke consume his entire body. Every time he finishes a pack in one sitting he feels even more disgust towards himself.
He wonders if he should call you and apologize for that night. His mind constantly tells him no while his heart continues to yearn for you. He misses your delicate touch burning his skin, he misses getting lost in your soft eyes. He misses your voice and how it sounds like a warm melody even when you’re upset. He misses you like crazy that he feels like he’s losing his life.
The blank canvas before him laughs at him, his constant frustration with himself grows as the night envelops his makeshift studio in his tiny apartment. He needs to paint. He needs one more painting before graduation, one more and he'll be out of the educational art cuffs. One more and he’ll be free to do whatever he wants. But  he just can’t because all he sees is you, your hurt, the greyscale of his cigarette smoke and the bright light of his phone as his thumb hoovers over your contact name.
He almost lets himself cave in too. If it wasn’t for the soft knocks on his front door he would’ve finally called. He feels the blood go up to his ears as he realizes the time. No one in their right mind would show up at his front door at two in the morning. Unless it was you.
He lets his feet carry him towards his door. Minghao knows he shouldn’t get his hopes up but had always been a hopeful kid no matter how many times his hope had been knocked down. He takes a deep breath, his long fingers wrapping around the door handle and he rips it open like a two day old band aid. Your tired eyes meet his miserable ones for the first time in three weeks and he feels like he can breathe again.
“I-I...um...come in.” He steps aside scratching the back of his neck. His hair was getting long again. He usually would’ve cut it by now, but you had once told him you loved how boyish it made him look. So he keeps it.
“I’m here to pick up my stuff.” You walk past him. Your oversized hoodie swallows you whole and he can’t help but want to feel your warmth against him. He stays put in his side of the room taking in your appearance, your hair was a different color, a lighter shade than the one he had last seen you in. He loves it. “Minghao my stuff please, I’m tired and want to go home.”
Minghao panics and he closes the space between the two of you, his arms find their way around you and pulls you close. “Don’t leave please, I’m a coward who’s scared and I lo-I-I’m just sorry for everything I know you deserve better than someone who’s never going to amount to anything but please for tonight don’t leave me alone. You can forget about me in the morning if you want, just not tonight please.” He begs into your neck.
Minghao has never once cried for another person,  not during his first three heartbreaks, not when his dog died. But the thought of losing you forever shatters him and he finally allows himself to weep.
After the initial shock of having him close to you again after missing him for what seemed like years. You hug him back. His sobs take over the dead silence of the night as you hold him, smoothing out the wrinkles of his paint stained t-shirt. You missed him more than air and although you were still upset with him. The two of you still had many things to talk about, all you wanted to do was hold him the same way he’s held you during moments of pure vulnerability.
“I’ll stay.”
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Minghao is in love and he doesn’t know how to tell you.
His paintings don’t hang in the university art gallery anymore. They’re locked away in the storage closet in his apartment. All of them collecting dust, except for two.
When the two of you graduated. The art gallery took down his paintings to display the incoming freshman’s artwork. You had gone with him for  moral support as the two of you watched his most hated--your favorite paintings come down. It was a bittersweet moment for the two of you but you could tell it had affected him more than he led on.
“When I get my first paycheck I’ll buy one off you.” You whispered to him as he walked you back to your dorm room. Minghao stops dead in his tracks, his eyes brimming with unshed tears as he grips his two largest canvases in his hands.
“Why would you do that?” He shakes his head before closing the distance between the two of you.
“Because I love your paintings idiot.” You roll your eyes and hold the small canvases you were holding against your chest. “And I love you.”
Minghao’s world stops. It freezes and goes blank. He swallows slowly to make sure he’s heard you right, and when he notices your shaking hands gripping his precious canvases he’s positive he has.
“No you don’t.” He blurts out before he can think and he sees the hurt flash across your perfect features signaling that he has fucked up. He doesn’t know how to handle your confession. Everyone he has ever loved laughs in his face and tells him he was an idiot for thinking they would ever feel anything for him. He almost waits for you to retreat your statement but when you don’t he feels his heart against his throat.
“Fuck, fine sorry I said anything.” You scoff and turn around, walking as fast as you could to create all the distance between the two of you. You knew you should’ve never confessed, you knew he would never feel the same way as you did. You were chaos, too much to handle, at times to clingy and not even that good of a fuck to keep a man. But there had been a little pocket of hope in you reserved for Minghao and sometimes he stared at you for longer than a person should stare at another. So you took your shot. Knowing you could have possibly read all the lingering touches and stares and blatantly obvious signs wrong. That you would end up in another heartbreak but you had really thought your subconscious had been wrong.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, girl.
Wait, wait, stop walking.” Minghao yells looking around frantically and setting his paintings against an isolated light post. He uses all the energy he has left in him and runs after you. His shoes forcefully stomping against the cracked pavement. Minghao’s mind is running at miles an hour and the only thing he can do is laugh because of how badly he wants to kiss you. Tell you you’ve been the sole owner of his heart ever since the first time he spotted you silently admiring his terrible paintings all those months ago and paint.  
Is this really the life of an artist?
He’s an idiot, the biggest one on this planet but for the first time in his life, he’s determined to not let the best thing that has ever happened to him slip away.
You have no choice but to stop at the streetlight and Minghao catches up. His breathing is ragged, his fake glasses are slipping down the bridge of his nose, and his hands are shaking from the adrenaline surging through his veins.
He places his hands against your shoulders making you jump, “Minghao forget I said anything it was a mis--.” His mouth is on yours before you could finish your sentence. His hands travel down your back and he pulls you closer, crushing his paintings in between your bodies.
“I love you too,”
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Minghao is nervous.
The day he’s been looking forward to and dreading for the past three years has finally arrived. His nerves course through his body like shocks of electricity and he feels like throwing up. When he met you all those years ago, the only person who encouraged his unachieveable dream, in the stupid university gallery, he never once thought he would end up here.
“Baby, are you ready?” You peak your head into the green room, the dark shade of red adjourning your lips catches him off guard. His hands itching to grab the sketchbook and pack of pastels he kept in his bag for moments of random inspiration. He refrains when he remembers he has people waiting for him. People who have gone out of their way to come to see him, his paintings and the opening of his highly anticipated art gallery.
You walk in and close the door behind you. You stand in Minghao’s path and he stops pacing.“I can tell Jun to stall for a few more minutes. He has the crowd wrapped around his finger with his terrible jokes, I mean some of them aren’t that bad but still they aren’t good.”  You put your hand against his cheek, your thumb soothing away the worry lines around his perfect mouth.
“How many people are out there?” He whispers and puts his forehead against yours. He thought his nerves were bad on his wedding day, but he’s sure this takes the cherry. He won’t tell you, even though he has a hunch that you already know.
“Last time Mingyu and your father updated me we had reached a few hundred.”
“A few hundred.” Minghao’s eyes grow wider than the moon, his nerves get worse. “I can’t go out there. What if they don’t like me?”
“Look at me Hao.” You place two fingers underneath his chin and raise it. His pupils are wide with uncertainty and you do everything in your power to keep yourself from laughing. Nothing was cuter than Minghao when he was nervous. “You always sell yourself short, these people fell in love with your paintings and I have no doubt in my mind that they’ll love you. I mean honey look at where we ended up.” You offer him a smile before leaning in to place a soft kiss against his plump lips.
“Yeah but that’s different. I was a nobody back then, no one had a preconceived notion of me then. I’m afraid these people might expect a broken artist with a smoking habit and that’s not me. At least not anymore.”
“Who cares what they might think of you, this isn’t about them. This is about you and your dream, don’t let the opinions of strangers ruin this for you.” You nod your head rubbing your thumb over his lips to get rid of the residue left behind by your liptstick. “If it makes you feel better I’m here and so are your parents and your friends. We’ll always support you baby.”
Minghao takes a deep breath and nods shyly. “Can you just hold me for a while. I want to be yours only for these last few minutes of freedom.”
“Minghao you’re making it sound like you’re selling your soul.” You giggle and fix the loose strands of hair that had fallen against his forehead.
“I’ll stay.”
Xu Minghao is a beautiful mystery that was often left unsolved.
Until you walked into his life and took your time to solve it.
447 notes · View notes
fickleminder · 3 years
Text
the years start coming and they don’t stop coming
In which Lilith’s return distorts her brothers’ perception of time.
Part 2 here
You’ve never seen the demon prince look so embarrassed.
“I can call for —”
“No, it’s okay. They deserve this.”
But you don’t, goes unspoken. You can see the pity in his eyes, feel the palpable disappointment in the air. Even Simeon and Luke make sure to hug you extra tight before stepping through the portal to the Celestial Realm, and Solomon promises to check up on you after you’ve returned home.
Thanking Lord Diavolo and Barbatos for their hospitality, you turn towards the final demon in the council room and put on the biggest grin your breaking heart can muster. “Hey, c’mere.”
Satan doesn’t hesitate to throw his arms around you. It’s almost like he’s trying to make up for his brothers’ absence, the way he crushes you to his chest and cradles the back of your head.
You can’t find it in yourself to blame them. As far as miracles go, this is a pretty big one. Lilith coming back to life is an unprecedented event, one not even Barbatos had seen coming. Nobody has any answers either. She’s definitely not a demon, not an angel, not human; just an immortal who knocked on the front door of the House of Lamentation three days ago.
Her brothers haven’t left her alone since. You’re happy for them, you really are, but a bitter part of you can’t help but wish her return had waited until after the exchange program ended. At least Lucifer had the courtesy to pull you aside and thank you on his family’s behalf (though you’re quite certain you had nothing to do with your ancestor’s sudden revival), in addition to making a pact with you as a token of his gratitude.
With that, you could have summoned all of them to send you off just as effectively as Lord Diavolo giving the order, but it won’t be the same and you know it. Your only saving grace is Satan, the one brother who’d kept his head and anchored you in the sea of loneliness you’d been set adrift in over the last few days.
“I’m gonna miss you, cat boy.”
“I miss you already,” Satan laughs softly, pulling back with a warm smile. “I’ll stay in touch, I promise.”
You squeeze his arms affectionately and glance past his shoulders at the closed doors. There’s the smallest shred of hope in you that thinks the others will come bursting through any moment now, scrambling for one final chance to see you. You give yourself five seconds, silently counting down to a pipe dream, before pressing a kiss to Satan’s cheek and releasing him.
“It might not seem like it now, but the Devildom will always be here for you,” Lord Diavolo says as the world around you fades to white. “Farewell.”
.
.
.
“Did you lose track of time at the library again? You missed dinner last night LOL.”
“Levi, be nice!”
Satan only hums quietly in response. He can’t be bothered to correct the assumption; it’s a convenient excuse for when his brothers actually notice he’s missing anyway.
The irony of Levi calling him out isn’t lost on him. While the otaku is still obsessed with his games and shows, he’s no longer as shut-in as he used to be, venturing outside the comforts of his sanctuary more often. Satan has passed by the common room on many occasions to find him and Lilith gaming or binging anime together, and the content expression on Levi’s face proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the void from his Henry’s departure has long been filled.
“Oh, but speaking of,” Lilith sets her cutlery down and smiles shyly at the fourth-born, “I haven’t had the chance to explore the libraries here yet. If it’s not too much trouble, can you show me around and recommend a few books?”
Shrugging non-committedly, Satan continues with his meal, not once looking her in the eye.
.
.
.
You’ve always wondered how someone with the Avatar of Lust for a brother can have such terrible fashion sense. It should be impossible to go wrong with dressing for a funeral, but you guess life (along with a certain eyesore of a tie) just loves to disappoint you. Still, you’re too glad to have Satan with you right now to care.
“Thanks for coming.”
“Anytime.”
You lean into the demon’s side as he holds an umbrella over both of you. Your eyes are drawn to the flowers he’d placed on your mother’s grave, the only splash of color against the dull tombstone. For the longest time, all you can process is the pitter-patter of the afternoon rain on the plastic wrap of the bouquet, and the comforting weight of Satan’s arm across your shoulders.
“She was in a lot of pain,” you admit after a while, your voice slightly hoarse. “The doctors had to sedate her. She went in her sleep.”
“I’m sorry.” Satan fidgets awkwardly, not quite sure what to say. He’s no stranger to death, but the loss of someone dear is unfamiliar to him. “Perhaps Simeon can find out if —”
“No, no it’s fine. I just — I need to —”
The umbrella is forgotten as Satan catches you, lowering you gently to the ground when your knees give way. You cling to him desperately, and it’s all he can do to draw you close as you start to wail.
.
.
.
Satan barely makes it three steps into the house before getting pounced on.
“How was it? Where did you go? Ooh you lucky demon, I want to hear all the details!”
“Oi, oi! What are you babbling on about?”
“Don’t act coy with me! Lilith saw you at the florist’s yesterday with the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers!”
“Yesterday? But —”
“How come you never told me someone caught your eye? I would have dolled you up, lent you some of my clothes —” Asmo gasps dramatically. “You didn’t wear that horrid jacket to your date, did you?”
Wrestling a hand free, Satan musses his younger brother’s hair. “None of your business,” he growls, walking away with a smirk when Asmo immediately releases him to fix his appearance. “Who do you take me for, anyway?”
“Aww come on, just give me a hint! Do I know them? Is it someone from RAD? Ooh, did you meet them at the library or —”
Ducking into the safety of his room, Satan shuts the door in Asmo’s face.
.
.
.
“Thank fuck. Who picked your outfit this time?”
“Barbatos. And shut up.”
You grab Satan’s arm with a laugh and lead him towards your table, politely introducing him as ‘Stan from work’ to any relatives who ask about the handsome young man accompanying you. Satan’s usual mask is in place, but there’s no mistaking the gleam of wonder in his eyes as he takes in his surroundings.
“Finally,” you sigh, sinking into your seat and grinning sheepishly at the blond. “Sorry about them. It’s just that they’ve never seen me with anyone, so they’re really curious about you.”
“Well, I’m glad you invited me along. I’ve never been to a wedding before.” The romantic in Satan is openly basking in the ambience of the reception. “You mentioned that your niece had gotten married?”
“Technically my first cousin once removed, but yeah.”
“And you’ve not been seeing anyone?”
“You would have been the first to know if I have,” you tease, nudging him playfully. “Apparently a lot of people are put off by the way I dress. Too modest, they say.”
But not without good reason. The pact marks on your body may be slightly faded from disuse, but they’re still discernable if stared at hard enough: Lucifer’s at the back of your neck; Mammon’s over your heart; Levi’s curled around your right calf; Satan’s circling your left arm; Asmo’s dangerously close to tramp stamp territory; Beel’s just under your navel; and Belphie’s on your ribs at the side you like to sleep on.
Passing them off as tattoos without attracting the wrong kind of attention is a little tricky, so you’d rather take a page from Solomon’s book and cover them up. Being called a prude is easier than dealing with cultists.
(It also helps you to keep your mind off of them, because some wounds continue to hurt even after they heal, so there’s that.)
Sensing the drop in your mood, Satan clears his throat to get your attention. It’s only then that you realize there’s music playing in the background, and couples moving from their tables to the floor.
Your companion stands up and offers you his hand, this time with a genuine smile on his face. “May I have this dance?”
.
.
.
Lucifer’s tone books no room for argument. “This will be a family event, so I expect your attendance. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your little escapades over the past few months.”
“Tch.”
“Do I make myself clear?”
“Whatever. I’ll be there.”
Satan has to resist the urge to hurl his hardcover at the back of Lucifer’s head when he takes his leave. That’s no way to treat a book, after all.
Beel’s Fangol team has an upcoming match and it’ll be Lilith’s first time watching him play. She’s been hyped up for weeks, so it comes as no surprise that Lucifer would use the opportunity to turn it into a family outing. He’s been doing that a lot lately.
Gone is the stuffy first-born who can spend days in his office if left unchecked. Lucifer is still as strict as ever, still fulfills his duties to Lord Diavolo diligently, but it’s like he’s managed to master balancing work and play overnight. He makes more time for his siblings now, even if it’s to dole out punishments for their endless shenanigans, punishments that vary in severity depending on how cutely Lilith pleads on their behalf.
Lucifer has always doted on her, and she has him wrapped around her little finger. Belphie has even gone as far as corrupting her into pranking him, and she need only bat her eyelashes to get off scot-free.
Lilith was the catalyst for the Fall, her descendent the glue that brought her siblings back together, and her return the final piece in making their family whole again.
But you were family too, Satan thinks sourly, pulling out his D.D.D. to mark the date in his calendar.
.
.
.
When you invite Satan over to your apartment for tea, he never expected to be introduced to your new housemate: a handsome fellow with chestnut brown hair, sharp jade eyes, a runner’s body, and the softest-looking toe beans he has ever seen in his immortal life.
“Satan, meet Satan!” You hold out the tabby towards him with a shit-eating grin.
Both demon and cat blink owlishly at each other. The blond doesn’t know whether to feel endeared by the feline sharing his name or insulted that you would replace him so easily, but all it takes is a single bop on the nose with a curious paw for him to melt.
Satan the tabby, who normally prefers to scale your shelves and nap between your books, spends the entire day a purring puddle in Satan the demon’s arms, shamelessly relishing in pets and massages to the extent that at some point, you have a very real fear they might just end up absconding back to the Devildom together. Thankfully, some kibble and freshly baked treats help you separate the two for a while, at least long enough for you to get some decent conversation in.
You brew a pot of Earl Grey with the beautifully crafted tea set Barbatos gifted you when you had first moved in, and serve the scones you made earlier in the morning using the baking tools blessed by Luke during your housewarming. You don’t know if the little angel had actually imbued them with Celestial magic, but everything you cook somehow always lifts your spirits when consumed.
Satan has to catch himself in the middle of regaling you with Mammon’s latest half-baked scheme. The wistful look on your face is new; you’re usually eager to hear what his brothers have been up to, but something feels off today. He pours you more tea, slides another scone onto your plate, and waits.
“…Are they happy?” You ask after a while.
The demon knows better than to lie, even if it’s to spare you from the truth he suspects you’re already aware of. “Yes,” he admits grudgingly.
“I’m glad.”
Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes.
.
.
.
Lilith stands outside his room, holding a tray of tea and cakes.
“Hey, um, may I come in?” Her smile is both hopeful and uncertain. It’s a gamble, ambushing the fourth-born when he obviously has no interest in her. At best, he’ll make up an excuse to turn her away or just ignore her completely; at worst, well… she doesn’t really want to think about that. To her visible relief, he opens the door wider and steps aside.
Satan clears a space for her to set the tray down. There’s the briefest moment of hesitation before he drags your favorite armchair over and offers her a seat as well. He looks guarded but not openly hostile, a promising sign so far.
“You’ve been in and out of the house lately, so I haven’t had the chance to catch you. I thought we might sit down and talk,” Lilith says, pouring two cups of the hot beverage as she chooses her next words carefully. “The others told me about how you were born, but I understand that you are your own person. I’d like to get to know that person.”
A part of Satan is acutely aware of their one-sided relationship; he is familiar with her through Lucifer, but she has never met him. It makes sense for her to be curious about him, though Satan isn’t so sure he wants to return the favor. She reminds him too much of you in the way she prepares her tea, how she sits on your chair, her shy lopsided smile —
But she’s not you, and you’re not her, Satan has to remind himself lest he commits the same mistake his brothers nearly did after your lineage had been revealed. Now in a convoluted turn of events, it’s you who’s gone and Lilith here, and there’s no reason why he can’t give her a chance and treat her like the sister she could be to him.
It’s what you would have wanted.
Lilith tries not to let her shoulders slump too much when Satan quietly stands up and heads towards his door. She’s prepared to pack up and leave until she spots him grabbing several books from a nearby shelf.
“Have you ever read Mid-Fall Murders?” He asks, handing her a hardcover with a shy smile of his own.
.
.
.
“What’s it like?”
Satan’s grip on your hand tightens. “I don’t actually know,” he confesses, shuffling closer so that your shoulder and arm are pressed against his. It’s a strange sight, the two of you lying side by side on your bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.
“Will it hurt?”
“No.”
You’ve never heard a single word hold so much promise, but you have no reason to doubt the demon’s sincerity. Satan wouldn’t take pity on you just because you’re —
A light knock on the door, and in pokes Simeon’s head. “Ah, little lamb! I’m glad we made it in time.”
“Not so little anymore, Simeon.” You laugh softly, greeting Luke and Solomon as they trail in behind him. Satan brushes his lips over your forehead before getting up to receive your guests.
The day is as ordinary as it can be. You talk and catch up with your friends, trading stories and laughter over cups of tea that neither grow cold nor go empty. When the session turns into a mini book club gathering halfway through, Luke helpfully retrieves the debated titles from the massive shelf in the living room. He takes a while to find them; you’ve accumulated plenty of works over the years: recommendations by Satan, literature published under Simeon’s pseudonym, and handwritten tomes from Solomon to keep you in touch with your magic. The shelf is practically jam-packed with books, the only exception being a corner on the topmost tier, housing a little space that’s empty save for a worn green collar with a rusted bell.
Come sundown the five of you are still neck-deep in discussion, but as with all good things, the get together eventually reaches an end.
“Thanks everyone, it’s been fun,” you say, reclining back in your bed as Satan wordlessly cleans up. You squeeze his hand when he returns to your side and bid the others goodbye. “Hopefully I’ll see you guys soon?”
“About that…” Solomon clears his throat, wearing the smug look that usually accompanies a trick being pulled out of his sleeve, but this time it’s tinged more with excitement than mischief. “Simeon has a little present for you first.”
The guileless smile on the angel’s face betrays nothing as he steps forward and reaches into a small pouch at his hip. “Solomon, Diavolo and I have a theory. Now, keep in mind that this is all very experimental, but if it works, you’ll have more options to choose from, should you so wish.”
And then he brings out a ring.
.
.
.
“Are you, uh, are you okay?”
“Not in the mood, Mammon.”
“Oi, I’m trying to be nice here! Who do you think covered for your sorry ass when you came back past curfew the other day, huh?”
“What the hell do you want?”
“You may think you’re all stealthy and shit, but your eyes were pretty red that night. I thought you were at a book club meeting. Did something happen?”
“None of your business.”
“Argh, fine then! This is the last time I try to be a good big brother.”
“…Mammon?”
“?”
“...”
“...”
“I’m sorry.”
“Eh, what are you — you can’t just say that and then run off! Get back here!”
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.
“Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…”
Lilith’s countdown echoes along the deserted hallway, prompting Beel to nudge the deadweight on his back. “Belphie, go get your own hiding place.”
“Mmngh… zzz…”
“Come on, or she’ll win this round with a two for one. Again.”
“…Just dump me somewhere she won’t find me then.”
A tall order, especially since Lilith can easily track them down by listening out for Beel’s stomach and/or Belphie’s snores. Still, the sixth-born lumbers through the house as quietly as he can, doing a one-eighty whenever he hears Lilith’s cheerful hums coming from the opposite direction. Technically they can avoid being caught if they keep moving, but that would be cheating. They hid in the attic previously so that’s a no go, their room’s too obvious, the kitchen too tempting, the common room too exposed…
Maybe Levi’s room? The otaku had sound-proofed his walls to avoid distractions from the outside world when he’s gaming, so it’s an ideal location to hide. He can stash Belphie in the bathtub and run interference until time’s up.
Backtracking, Beel breaks into a light jog towards the other wing, keeping his ears open for their seeker. It’s only because of his heightened senses that he’s able to pick up the faintest traces of magic on one of the walls, causing him to pause in his steps.
“Hmm? Why’d you stop?” Slightly more awake now, Belphie rubs his eyes and slides off his twin, who’s studying the blank space intently. “What’s wrong, Beel?”
“There’s something here, something…”
“It’s just a wall —”
“No, don’t you feel it? I know you weren’t around then, but it’s the same glamor as that time Luke went missing and we —”
Beel goes white. He whispers a name, a name not spoken in the house for years, and a door flickers into view. One hand grabs Belphie’s in a death grip as the other twists the knob and pushes the door open, revealing an old yet familiar room.
The place is devoid of life. Most of the furniture are covered by sheets, resting under thick layers of dust. In the middle sits a tree, sagging with age and soft with rot. Sunken footprints mark the demons’ furtive venture into decrepit memory, and the creaking of floorboards with every step only tethers the growing nightmare closer to reality.
A photo frame crashes to the ground.
.
.
.
They deserve this.
Satan feels it the moment the spell concealing your room was broken. It had been his way of protecting your memory, ensuring that your sanctuary would only be accessible to those who made the effort to remember you. He cast it about a year after you had left the Devildom, after he realized that leaving your door in plain sight wasn’t doing you any favors.
Hidden away in an alcove at the back of the garden, curled up with a blanket and a thermos of hot tea, Satan slides a bookmark between the pages of his latest novel and leans his head back, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh.
Even this far away from the house, he can hear the cacophony of screams and shouts, objects being flung and shattered into pieces, a muted bang suggesting that a wall has just collapsed. The fallout comes as no surprise; waking up after living the past hundred years or so in a daze will do that to a person – or in this case, demons.
Although the sounds of fighting call to the rage bubbling within him, the vindictive thoughts of his brothers getting their just desserts cool it to a simmer. He knows he’ll have to face them eventually, but he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.
“Meow?”
Emerald eyes blink open. There’s a faint rustle from the nearby bushes as a tiny Calico wanders out of the foliage, peering around the garden curiously. Upon spotting the blond demon, it perks up and makes a beeline for him.
“Hm? You’re not Callie. Are you new here, little one?” His mood considerably improved, Satan extends a hand towards the kitten. It skips the finger sniffing step and goes straight to headbutting his palm, begging for attention.
“You’re an affectionate one, aren’t you?” Satan caves immediately and scritches away with a delighted chuckle. He examines the markings on its tri-colored fur, wanting to recognize the friendly feline if it comes back in the future. The Calico is mostly white with patches of brown and black splashed over the back of its neck, near the base of its tail, just under the side of its ribs, and several other spots that seem to collectively resemble a familiar pattern…
Satan’s hand stills. He whispers your name, trembling with hope, and the kitten practically leaps into his arms, nuzzling his chin with a happy purr.
909 notes · View notes
styw · 3 years
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Rain in Paris
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All I ever see is you.
"Jisoo, don't look." 
Jisoo hummed, turning her achilles heel to where Jennie was staring, and blinked almost unbelievably when she grasped it.
"Shit. I told you to not look. Are you dumb?" Jisoo felt something wrapped into her wrist and there, she saw Jennie holding it tightly, and tried to walk them into somewhere private where she couldn't see, but Jisoo didn't want to run anymore. She was exhausted.
"It's okay," she says as she sucks her breath. "I'm fine, Jennie. It's okay. It's been six months, I'm sure... I'm sure she's fine too." 
Jisoo knew she had said it with a tight smile because Jennie was giving her the look, the familiar look she had seen over the past few months, and honestly, Jisoo was getting sick of it. It was time for a change.
"Are you sure?" Jennie pulled her wrist to her chest and drew small circles on it. 
Jisoo nodded. She hoped her smile wasn't too tight for Jennie to notice, but then again, nothing goes undetected once you've got Jennie Kim's eyes locked on you.
"Are you really really sure that you're going to be fine? Because if you're not, I'm going to ditch the party and just have movie marathons with you." 
Jisoo scoffed a smile as she pulled her hand away from Jennie's grasp. That earned an alarming look from Jennie, and Jisoo noticed that, but she only gave her a kind smile.
These past few months, Jennie Kim has been nothing but a sweet, protective cheeseball to her, and Jisoo appreciates her best friend for always being there when she needs her most. However, she couldn't let herself become like this every time she saw her. Jisoo doesn't want to allow herself to be dependent. She refuses to.
"I am fine now, Jennie." Jisoo tangled her hand with Jennie's and smiled almost brightly, almost as if she had almost let herself be fooled for once that she was fine. when she was not.
"I'm fine," she repeated, but this time, she murmured it under her breath, and looked up with a slight crooked smile. She was going to stay strong today.
"Do you want me to fetch you some wine? I heard there's champagne here."
"I'm fine, Chu. It's just, I'm worried about y-"
"I'm going to get two champagnes for us, alright? Don't go anywhere. Lisa would be here soon." 
Jisoo forced her two feet to walk and left Jennie without waiting for her reply. Jennie was too much of a nagged today and Jisoo wasn't in a mood to hear such a nag. In fact, all she wanted to do at this instant was to focus on why she came here today: pose for photographers, drink some champagne, and let herself have a break for once. She's not going to allow herself to sulk in the corner just because the love of her life was standing right there.
Well, the ex-love of her life, that is.
Jisoo drank two shots of whiskey when she felt a lump in her throat. No, not today. She wasn't going to let Chaeyoung win today. Not now, not tomorrow, and never. She wouldn't give her satisfaction about what their break up had done to Jisoo. However, she admitted it did leave a hole in her heart. 
Jisoo closed her eyes for a second and tried to think about the beach house she had brought last year. Struggling, Jisoo tried to hear the waves in her ears. She pictured herself as she sat on the sand while she looked at the sun embracing the sea. She had tried to hum a song in her head, but when Jisoo did, the only song that came out of her lips was what Chaeyoung had taught her last year. It was Chaeyoung's favorite song, if ain't got you by Alicia Keys.
What was wrong with her? Sometimes, Jisoo wishes she could reset her memory of Chaeyoung and just delete them fore-
"Hi." 
Jisoo had stiffened up in her place when she heard a voice that had been hunting her for months. It was Chaeyoung's voice. Jisoo could not doubt it. She was certain it was Chaeyoung's voice, her favorite person.
"Hey," Jisoo said, turning around with a phony smile.
"How are you?"
"Cool. You?" 
Chaeyoung had stiffened in her position. That didn't go unnoticed by Jisoo, and she hated herself for how much she remembered. She doesn't need a fucking witch marble to guess, because until now, she still memorized how Chaeyoung spoke, how she moved, and more importantly, how she imperfectly tried to hide her emotions before Jisoo. Chaeyoung was still the book Jisoo had adored so much. 
"I'm fine. Actually, doing well..." Chaeyoung touched the rim of her champagne glass and smiled a little. She was not.
Jisoo flashed a small smile as she pretended to not notice. She was not here to emphathize. She was here to lose herself, fuck around, and drink some champagne for once in her life, and she's going to do that even if the love of her life is standing right in front of her. 
Who cares anyway? She was not Chaeyoung's anymore.
"That's nice. I have to go now. Bye, Chae-"
"Wait!" 
Jisoo halted her steps and stared at Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung was looking at the floor, almost like a shy school girl, and for once, it made Jisoo coo about how adorable she was.
"...I'm sorry." 
And when Jisoo thought she couldn't freeze any more, she was proven wrong. She felt she couldn't even lift an inch of her finger when she heard and felt how sincere Chaeyoung was. 
"I'm sorry, Jisoo." She repeats. Almost like she was pleading for her to comeback. Jisoo didn't like it a bit.
Jisoo tightened her grip on the monkey bar she was holding in her mind. She wouldn't falter. She wouldn't allow herself to. But when she saw that Chaeyoung was in a state to cry and could feel just how vulnerable and naked Chaeyoung was, she felt she needed to take their issue somewhere where eyes and the camera lens could not see them, so she grabbed Chaeyoung's wrist, and let her steps lead them their way.
Jisoo had let go of Chaeyoung's wrist when they reached the balcony. And when silence engulfed them, Jisoo sighed so loudly, reached out to ruffle her own hair, and felt Chaeyoung's eyes burning on her.
Jisoo turned her head and she wished she didn't, because as soon as she saw. She took the hanky from her pocket and gave it to Chaeyoung. 
"Don't cry," Jisoo looked at the flat view. "People will think I bullied  you or something." 
Somehow, Jisoo heard a chuckle and she smiled a little. She could still hear Chaeyoung sniffling, and Jisoo remembered so dearly how she would wrap her arms around her just to comfort Chaeyoung.
She hates this. She doesn't.
"How's Jennie?" Jisoo held back her head to turn. 
"She's fine," Jisoo smiles. "She's been a baby lately. She wouldn't refuse to leave me alone. She wouldn't even let me go out alone. She's like a glue stick to me." 
"Except now?"
"Except now," Jisoo repeats and chuckles. She hoped it wasn't too forced.
She heard no response from Chaeyoung, and when Jisoo turned her head, their eyes met. And for a split second, Jisoo wanted to know how it felt to be in Chaeyoung's arms again. Chaeyoung's eyes were burning red, her face was puffy, and Jisoo cursed herself for that.
I'm still longing for you. I hate you.
"I miss you, you know." Chaeyoung said, her voice almost strained as she stilled her gaze.
A bitter laugh escaped from Jisoo's lips. "Yeah. Sure you do." 
"I'm serious."
"You don't, Chaeyoung."
"I miss yo-"
"If you missed me, why didn't you come for me?" Jisoo snapped. Chaeyoung had pursed her lips as she stared down at the floor.
"Don't tell me you missed me if you don't mean it," She whispered. "It hurts me."
"But I mean it, Jisoo." 
Suddenly, Jisoo felt something warm on her hand, and there, she saw Chaeyoung's hand resting on top of her. She looked up slowly and met Chaeyoung's intense gaze. Oh how she missed those eyes staring at her lovingly. 
"I'm sorry for not fighting for us," She whispered and Jisoo let Chaeyoung play her fingers. 
"I'm sorry for not being there with you when you needed us to fight for the relationship we have. You were right, I was a coward for not fighting for us." Chaeyoung started to draw small circles as she continued to talk. Tears were starting to stream down to her cheeks.
"I was just so afraid to defy them, Jisoo. You have to understand that they were the only family I had at that time, and I didn't want to disappoint them... No child wants to let their parents down. They were against of our relationship when I told them about us... so I thought of leaving you in order to stop their disappointment in me, but it didn't work.
I just want them to love me for who I am, Soo, but they never did. They never loved me for who I am, and I'm sorry..." 
Without a word, Jisoo held her tears back, and pulled Chaeyoung closer to her embrace. For six months, Jisoo had always wondered what, where, and when she had gone wrong. What was wrong with her for Chaeyoung to leave her just like a rug? She had always thought she was the only one suffering from their break up, and their relationship didn't mean that much to Chaeyoung. Turns out, it did. Chaeyoung just happened to be good at being silent about it.
Chaeyoung was still sobbing uncontrollably into Jisoo's embrace and Jisoo was trying her best to whisper words that she remembered that would calm Chaeyoung.
"Hey, listen to me. Chaeyoung, it's alright. You hear me, It's oka-"
"No, you listen to me." Chaeyoung cuts off, pulling herself away as she sniffed and wiped her own tears. "I hurt you badly, Jisoo. You don't deserve that. You never do. My reason for what I did to you doesn't justify it. Still, I'm sorry... I'm sorry for breaking your heart."
Jisoo's eyes were tearing up as she listened and looked at Chaeyoung. This was her first time seeing this side of Chaeyoung, so desperate for forgiveness, so sincere, and so vulnerable. What happened? Jisoo pulled Chaeyoung back to her embrace and patted her head wordlessly. "I'm really sorry, Soo."
Jisoo didn't speak a word, instead she kept her position and held Chaeyoung close to her.
"I look horrible..." Chaeyoung murmured, pulling herself away to wipe off the smudged eyeliner.
Jisoo broke into a fit of laughter, and when Chaeyoung saw it, for the first time in the past six months, she felt warm in her stomach and pouted.
"Don't laugh."
"I'm not."
"You did." Chaeyoung narrowed her eyes accusingly and trailed her finger down to Jisoo's chest with a sad smile.
"Tell me something I don't know, Jisoo."
Jisoo smiled. "I forgive you, Chaeyoung."
Chaeyoung widened her eyes in shock, and Jisoo chuckled as she reached out and tucked Chaeyoung's blonde hair at the side. "Tell me something I don't know, Chaeyoung."
"I want us back, Jisoo," Chaeyoung muttered and took Jisoo's hands on hers. "I want us to try again. At a slow pace, or whatever you want, and this time I will fight for you, Jisoo."
With so much sincerity in her eyes, Jisoo knew Chaeyoung would fight for them, and so she leans closer and clashes their lips together. It's been six months since Jisoo got the taste of those lips and until now, it still felt sweet and beautiful. She adored every inch of it. Chaeyoung had circled her arms around Jisoo's neck and tightened them. She had missed Jisoo's lips too, and she was ready to risk it all just to get to taste those lips.
She was ready to risk everything for them to try again.  Jisoo was worth it. She was worth it. Their relationship was worth fighting for.
When Jisoo had pulled from the kiss, she spoke something and that was enough for Chaeyoung to cry more, but instead of sadness, she cried in happiness.
"I want us back too."
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tenspontaneite · 3 years
Text
Pigment
Callum discovers the wonders of elven pigments.
(The first of two pieces written for @falling-for-you-a-rayllum-zine, which is now having leftover sales!) ('Future' chapter; takes place post-s3, naturally not canon to TTM. Oneshot. 4k. Ao3 link)
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The first time Callum was introduced to the concept of elvish pigment was, ostensibly, by Rayla’s skin. He’d noted the marks under her eyes in the same hurried, panicked glance that picked out the horns, the ears, the alarming points of the weapons in her hands…
He wondered about them, of course, but in the first frantic two weeks of their acquaintance, there really wasn’t a lot of time to ask about it. Not until the Storm Spire, when he sat mulling over the flight-runes on Ibis’ wings, and how they might have come to be there.
“…So, I’ve been wondering,” he said to Rayla, apropos of nothing, while she was tending to her equipment. She looked up as he began to speak, the armour momentarily forgotten. “Those…markings you have, the ones on your face—and the ones a lot of other elves seem to have—what are they?”
She blinked, and for a moment, her fingers rose to her face, as though only just remembering the marks were there. “They’re pigment?” She offered, squinting at him a little. “…Is that a trick question, or…?”
“No, really, I have no idea what they are.” He assured her. “I was never sure if they were tattoos, or…weird elf birthmarks, or something. But—pigment? Does that mean it’s like…ink? How do you get them on?” Tattoos, as he understood them, involved needles. He hoped elven pigment didn’t involve needles.
For a moment, Rayla stared at him, looking decidedly nonplussed. “You…paint them on?” She offered, still thrown. “With a brush? And then they stay there for a while. Half a year, maybe. Depends on how good your pigment is.”
“Huh.” Callum mused. For a moment, he was tempted to press further, to ask about the intricacies of various pigments and the application thereof…but he’d been asking for a reason, after all, and his attention remained there.
If they were painted on...then that boded well. That meant that it was something that he could do, if only for the presence of the pigment and a brush.
It wasn’t much later that, after a guilty rummage through Ibis’ things, Callum stood at the pinnacle of the Storm Spire and painted flight-runes onto his skin. That was his first true introduction to the pigments of elves. As an artist, he couldn’t help but marvel at it. The pigment was white, yet it entirely obscured the darker colour of his skin with only a single, easy stroke. Only one layer, and it was solidly opaque. It glowed a little—then settled utterly dry, clean, and steadfast upon his arms.
For a moment, he spared a thought to wish that his paints could be like that. He’d dabbled in every form of art medium he could get his hands on over the years, and he’d never worked with any pigment like this one. It would be gorgeous to paint with.
But then he was too distracted trying to fly to think about art any longer, and that was the last mind he paid to pigment for a while.
*
After the battle of the Storm Spire, he prevailed upon the use of a finer, neater brush, and filled in the edges of his flight-runes until the shape of each was perfect and immaculate. Ibis watched him with a critical eye, and nodded.
“The spell will come easier if the runes are tidy.” He said, approvingly. “You’ll need to re-apply the pigment every three months. Any longer than that and it will begin to fade—which isn’t so great an issue when the marks are merely aesthetic, but with runes…”
“I can see how you wouldn’t want these fading, no.” Callum said ruefully, and accepted the little bottle of white pigment with a murmur of gratitude. He tucked it into his things for the next time he and Rayla went travelling, and she smiled at him.
“Packing your pigment for the journey, Callum?” She remarked, a little teasing. “Think we’ll be gone that long, do you?”
He laughed, and shrugged, glancing down at one of his arms. “I guess it’s just in case, really. I shouldn’t need to touch them up again for months, but…you never know. Wouldn’t want to end up flightless for some reason.”
“I suppose you are a tad obsessed with flying, now.” She agreed, as if she wasn’t always finding excuses for him to sweep her up into the sky for another flight. She reached out, absentminded, and trailed a fingertip around the curve of one rune with the trace of a smile on her lips. “Still, if it came down to it, you could always borrow mine.”
He glanced up at her, startled. “Your pigment?” He checked, eyes settling on the marks beneath her eyes. “I didn’t know you had any with you.”
“I don’t. Need to pick some up from Ethari, when we visit.” She said, succinctly, and he supposed that was another reason for their stopping at Silvergrove on the way to Katolis. How long had it been, since she last refreshed her pigment? Did she need to do it again soon, or was she just planning for the future?
He stared at her for a moment, contemplating her, feeling his heart flutter with a familiar warmth. If her markings had faded at all since he met her, it wasn’t immediately obvious to him. They looked as clear and lovely as ever; a natural part of her face. It was strange to think of what she might look like without them.
Rayla eyed him, when he’d stared a little too long and smiled a little too softly, and huffed at him. Her cheeks pinked a little, the colour darkening her markings. “What are you looking at?” She muttered to him, a touch self-conscious. Rather than look away, he smiled at her all the wider, and captured the hand she had on his arm to plant a kiss on its fingers.
“You.” He said, very contentedly, and watched with pleasure as her face coloured and her fingers twitched beneath his touch.
“Dumb prince.” She sighed, a smile spreading unbidden and affectionate across her lips. It was beautiful, so of course he kissed that too. He felt the widening of that smile against his mouth, and lingered there for as long as she’d let him before she prodded him away to finish packing.
She gave his arms a strange look, though, when he next bared them. Appraising, almost, with a narrow-eyed sort of consideration. “…What?” He asked, when she’d been staring long enough to warrant the question.
“Your runes are…neat.” She said, tone as considering as her eyes. “Tidy.” She shook her head then. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, with all the art you do. Of course you’d be good at painting skin-pigment.” He eyed her, because there was clearly more to this observation than just surprise that he’d managed some tidy brushwork, but all she said when he asked was “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
He didn’t believe her, obviously. Not with the way she kept shooting half-considering looks at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. But he didn’t press her, and she didn’t mention whatever was on her mind. In time, he forgot about it.
Until they were back in the Silvergrove.
*
Rayla asked Ethari, and within the minute he was pressing a small dark bottle and a fine brush into her hands. “I did wonder if you needed any.” He said, as she turned the glass over and the indigo liquid swirled around within. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” She agreed, pocketing the vial and the brush both. “It’ll start fading soon. So…thanks.”
He nodded at her, all warmth and familial affection. “Not a problem. Did you want me to help with that while you’re here?”
She hesitated, then, and for a moment…for a moment, her eyes slid to Callum, who’d been watching them idly over the top of his sketchbook. “…I’m good.” She settled on, eventually, and if there was anything particularly knowing about Ethari’s smile then, Callum didn’t notice it.
He kept drawing, content in that she was content, and happy to be in her home under happier circumstances than the first.
But then, later: “I wanted to ask you something.” Rayla said, abruptly, when it was just the two of them in what was ostensibly her childhood room. It had been adapted over the years for a growing teenager, but still maintained hints of the past lingering within its walls. He spotted a child’s doodle of a shadowpaw etched into the grain of the dresser, and suppressed a smile.
He turned to her, eyes crinkling a little at the thought of a tiny rambunctious Rayla who scrawled over the walls and furniture. “Yeah?” He responded, a little distracted, as he wondered if there were perhaps any baby or childhood portraits in residence somewhere. He should ask Ethari. If there were any to be found, surely he’d know.
That distraction fled the instant she spoke. “Will you paint my pigment for me?” She asked, directly, and his eyes shot to her at once. At his expression, she added, “You don’t have to. But it needs doing soon, or it’ll start fading faster.” She paused, looking a little more tentative as she said, “If you don’t want to, Ethari can—”
“No,” he blurted, clumsy, then scrambled to say “I mean, yes, I mean—I mean I’d like that. To help. To, er. Paint your pigment on.” He felt his face heat, in part from how he’d stumbled over the words, and in part because…well. He might not know a lot about elven pigment and elven markings, but he was fairly sure that they were…personal. That painting someone’s markings for them was personal.
His reply settled her, and she huffed, lips twitching with familiar fondness. “…Good.” She said, in the end, and surprised him by leaving the room without further word. He blinked after her, uncertain whether he was supposed to follow, but then she returned a bare few moments later with a towel and a wet cloth that she was already wiping her face with.
“Er,” he offered, perplexed, as she dried her face off and set the towel and cloth both down. He didn’t understand until she plucked the bottle of pigment from her dresser and pressed it into his fingers. “Now?” His voice was something of a squeak, and she rolled her eyes.
“When else?” She asked, procuring a brush and giving him that too. “We’re setting off tomorrow. Now’s best.” She paused. “…That okay?”
Her voice had gone tentative again, and his chin jerked up, fingers tightening around brush and bottle as if worried she’d take them away. “No, yeah, it’s okay,” he assured her, and then laughed, a little nervously. “I just…wasn’t expecting it.” He cleared his throat, and took a closer look at the brush. It was like the one he’d filled his own runes in with, fine and delicate and short enough that it didn’t seem liable to flick off in weird directions. “…So I just…paint this onto your face?” He asked, after a moment, feeling his cheeks heat for reasons he couldn’t quite put to words. It felt special, in a way that was hard to describe.
“That is how it works.” Rayla answered, dryly, and then tugged him by the rune-adorned arm until they were both sitting on the floor, towel and cloth at close remove. He supposed those were there in case of spillages, though considering how quickly elvish pigment took hold, he wasn’t sure how much good a towel would do. He wondered if there was some sort of solvent, magical or otherwise, that was up to the task of dissolving pigment like this.
“What happens if I make a mistake when I’m putting your pigment on?” He wondered aloud, only half directing it at her. “Do you just have to walk around with it on your face for months?”
She snorted, and shook her head. “Nah. There’s pigment-remover for that.”
A little tension eased from his shoulders. “Oh, good,” he sighed, relieved. “That’s much less pressure, then.”
She rolled her eyes again. “Just paint my face, Callum.”
He chuckled at her, a little nervously, and uncapped the bottle. The liquid inside was so much darker than the pigment he used, and bizarrely true in its colour. Usually, inks tended to look much darker than their actual colour when they were in the bottle. It was only when you painted them onto a page that you could see how light and bright they were. This, though…it was just solid, liquid indigo, as if someone had distilled the concept of the colour of Rayla’s markings and spilled it into a bottle. “This would be amazing to paint with.” He murmured, somewhat distractedly, watching the pigment shimmer in the low light.
Rayla didn’t answer that, which was unusual enough that his eyes darted to hers, and found her looking strangely thoughtful. She shook her head, though, as if to dispel some thought, and started giving the pigment bottle and the brush some very meaningful looks. He laughed, softly, and obeyed the unspoken command; he dipped the brush in, drained off the excess, and then lifted it. It was dyed the same solid, true indigo—a colour that he was about to put onto her skin.
It hit him then, or at least started to; he looked between the brush and her face and felt his breath catch at—at something. It felt a little like panic, a little like wonder, a little like the breathless infatuation she always managed to inspire in him. For a moment, he didn’t know what to do with it, and just…stared at her, heart beating wildly at—at the trust, and the honour, that he couldn’t help but feel she’d given him.
She was looking impatient by the time he finally moved, and likely would have spoken if not for how he shuffled closer, until their knees were touching. Her mouth closed, watching him, eyes settling on his own as he reached towards her. His fingers brushed the edge of her jaw, feather-light, as tentative as he always was when he remembered that someone as amazing as her had deigned to be with someone like him. His breath caught in his throat as he lifted his hand, thumb tracing tenderly along a cheek that warmed beneath his touch.
He cupped her face in his hand, then, unable to resist the impulse, and she leaned into it without even thinking. Her eyes fell half-lidded for a moment, the smallest smile twitching at the edges of her lips, and he wanted to kiss her. That wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing, but—but he wanted to, and she was smiling at him, and her eyes were soft and warm in the quiet and low light of the room—
So, he kissed her, and she huffed an amused breath against his lips, lifting a hand to trail affectionate fingers along the side of his neck. “This doesn’t feel like face-painting to me.” She murmured to him, fond and teasing at once, and he wouldn’t have been surprised for a moment if his heart stopped beating for the strength of how much he loved her. “Weren’t you supposed to be doing something?”
He laughed, a little breathless, and the warmth of it spilled between them. “Yeah.” He agreed, helplessly, drawing back with her fingers still warm on his neck and his hand still cupped to her cheek, and paused for a moment to treasure the sight of her looking at him like that. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was that she loved him. He didn’t think he’d ever believe it. “I’ll just…get on that.”
She withdrew her hand, and watched him. Waiting.
His fingers shifted on Rayla’s face, moving to press his thumb gently to the side of the marking under her left eye. Pulling at the skin, ever-so-slightly, to allow for painting it more evenly. Another urge struck him, but this time he suppressed it. He could kiss her cheek-markings later. For now, he was supposed to be painting them. And so…
With an almost reverent care, he lifted the tip of the brush to her face, hovering just above her skin with a heady mixture of breathless wonder and breathless trepidation. He exhaled, softly, and felt her eyes upon him. Watching, warm and fond and expectant.
Finally, with the utmost care, he touched the brush to her skin.
She flinched a little at the touch so close beneath her eye, but he’d expected that. He held the brush steady and traced a slow, perfect line down her cheek, along the edge of the extant marking, like a dark border to the fading colour. And it was fading; he could see that now. It wasn’t noticeable on its own, but with the contrast of the fresh pigment beside it, it was fully obvious that the old colour had begun waning.
With the brush to her skin, Callum’s hushed awe fell in step with the breadth of his skill and practice. He’d never put brush to someone else’s skin before, but that did nothing to diminish his skill. He knew brushwork, and he knew the delicacy needed for fine detail, and…and, in the end, this was easy. Just tracing around an existing marking, and filling it in. There could be nothing easier.
He drew the pigment across her skin in smooth, effortless lines. He traced the borders of her marking and then filled it in, up until when the brush began to run empty, and he had to go for the bottle again. The colour settled fast, immediate, and perfect upon her face, with that gorgeous fidelity he’d never seen in any other pigment or paint or ink in all his life. It was a pleasure to use it, and all the more that he was using it for this.
Callum fell half into an artist’s trance for the remaining minutes it took to finish. He filled the left marking in, stark and perfect, then shifted his fingers tenderly to her other cheek, and repeated the process. When he was done, there was nothing but perfect lines and perfect colour upon a face that he loved.
He smiled, small and satisfied, and set the brush aside. “Done.” He murmured, and leaned forward to press his forehead to hers, cradling her face in both hands. It felt strange, to risk touching her skin when he’d only just painted it. But that was the wonder of elvish pigment; it dried the moment it was applied, and permitted no possibility of smearing whatsoever. He stroked his thumbs beneath her eyes and felt more happy, more tender, more loving than he’d ever known. “Perfect.” He murmured, reverential, the words meant for more than the pigment.
Her eyes blinked across from his own, and he loved them. Loved her. She brought her arms up and drew him closer, one hand splayed on the back of his neck. “Maybe I’ll have you do me some new markings, someday.” She murmured to him, in the end, a small and secret smile at the edges of her lips. He stared at her, spellbound, for the three beats of his heart that lingered between her smile and her movement. She leaned in and closed the meagre distance between them, the kiss soft and sweet and all the more perfect for how dearly he adored her.
He imagined, for a second, drawing that ink-brush again along her skin. Imagined it between her fingers, along her arms, casting indigo whorls about her shoulders. He thought of new pigment, new markings, and the sheer delight of being the one who got to put them there. His heart fluttered. “I’d like that.” He said, against her lips, and she kissed him again.
“Good.” When she drew back, the markings were still stark and beautiful beneath her eyes, where he’d painted them. The sight of them left him a little breathless, even now, unable to shake the sense that he’d been afforded an enormous privilege, a gift of worth beyond measure.
Someday, he hoped, she’d afford him that gift again.
*
Callum saw the fruits of Rayla’s thoughtful consideration and furtive glances a while later, when July came around and he was startled from thinking about her birthday by the arrival of his own. She cornered him with palpable satisfaction, and gave him a parcel that she very clearly expected him to be delighted with.
She wasn’t wrong.
He unveiled an array of small bottles; thirty-six hues of true and perfect elvish pigment, distilled for the purpose of painting. He beheld them all with a nearly breathless joy, finding the little parcel of pigment-brushes, the bottle of solvent, the masking-fluid….
“You like it?” Rayla asked, with a broad and decidedly smug smile on her face. She clearly already knew the answer.
“I love it.” He pronounced, and set at once to trying them out.
The very first thing he painted was her. She watched him, and huffed as she saw the familiar lines of her own face taking form on the page, pleased and exasperated all at once. She never did seem to understand why he drew her so often, but that was okay. And, with these pigments…
The colours were spectacular, brighter and more intensely pigmented than anything he’d ever seen. He found himself utterly swept away in the delight of using them, and hours later, emerged from his artist’s trance to the completed work: Rayla in the early evening of the Silvergrove, her hair and eyes gleaming softly with the gentle illumination of the lights and moon-moths around her. It was one of the finest works he’d ever produced, and at the sight of it, he concluded the process of falling helplessly in love with Elvish pigment.
Rayla, for all her embarrassment at being painted, seemed to approve of it too. “You picked that up quickly.” She noted, handling the edges of the thick paper with the delicate care it deserved.
“These pigments are my new favourite thing.” He declared, arranging the bottles a little more tidily beside him. His eyes rested, a little consideringly, over another wide sheet of paper. He stared at it for a long while, growing quiet and solemn, and eventually reached out to take it.
He had his birthday traditions to observe, after all.
The second thing he painted with the elven pigments was his family portrait, atrophied and truncated by tragedy. There was no Sarai there, and hadn’t been for years. No Harrow, and that was a new pain. He felt the ghosts of their absence in the lines he didn’t draw, in the colours that never fell upon the page, in the voids of grief that they left in his life.
But there were new faces now, too.
With quiet, exquisite care, he drew himself. He drew Ezran, older now, wearing a mantle that had come for him too soon. He drew Bait in his brother’s arms. He drew Aunt Amaya. And, tenderly: he drew Azymondias and Rayla. The outlines took form, and as the hours passed, elvish pigment filled them in.
In the end, he had his family portrait again. Changed, and echoing with its empty spaces, but…
Quiet, from her place beside him, Rayla slipped her hand into his own.
“Come on,” She said, with the small but tender smile that he loved. “Zym has a present for you too. He’ll be disappointed if he can’t give it to you today.”
Callum exhaled, and let her fingers tighten around his, pulling him up to his feet beside her. His own smile slipped onto his lips. “Then we’d better go find him.” He said, casting a last glance at the portrait on the table. He didn’t resist it when she tugged on his fingers, pulling him away.
With a strange, quiet serenity, he followed her out into the light.
---
end.
This is word-for-word what was published in the Rayllum zine 'Falling For You'; I have made no changes. It’s the shorter and less impressive of my two pieces, but I hope you liked it anyway.
I’ll potentially be making some minor edits to the second piece before posting, given I intend to continue it - in fact, I’ve already got like three extra chapters of it written, though small ones. I’m considerably more excited about that one, so stay tuned!
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