#anyway. this is one quote i always think about when it comes to the core four by s3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ickle-anthology · 16 days

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I’d like to be optimistic and say this will be short and sweet, however it has grown increasingly apparent that I do nothing by half measures. I suppose if you’re going to do a job - do it properly. Go big or go home, right?

I’m trying to learn how to set healthy boundaries, which is extremely challenging for an empath that feels everything as deeply as I do and has been through the things that I’ve been through. I suppose my need to people please stems from wanting to help and lighten the load in anyway possible for the people I care deeply about at the expense of my own peace. It’s even more unbearable when I have walked in their shoes with and know what it’s like when you have nowhere to turn to, unfortunately helping doesn’t always go the way I intend but at-least I can say I tried and gave it my all, and by doing so leaves my conscious clear and unburdened. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of awful things in my life, some worse than others and some that have left lasting scars that I’m still sowing up- but I actually quite like me, however I acknowledge that there’s always room for improvement. I have a long list of things that I can’t change but would happily sell my soul to the devil to alter. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that some things aren’t meant to be changed and that no response is a response. Let’s be honest, you can’t be everyone’s cuppa tea otherwise you’d be a mug.

You ever known what you needed to do but struggled to find the strength to do it? That’s the current predicament I’m faced with. The past few weeks I’ve had a lot of time to digest and reflect on the changes that have happened in my life - recent and not so recent changes. Up until recently, I considered myself to be a healed woman but I realise now that healing isn’t a linear path and the more I experience different things, the more I realise I’m still on that healing journey - and that’s ok, being honest with myself about it is probably the best thing I can do. I like to think I always look for best in people, that I can feel the good in them. But like with anything in this universe, there must be balance and everything that goes up, must come down eventually... I see the undesirable and distasteful flaws too, I don’t look at the world through a looking glass and I’m not as naive as some people may choose to believe. I have this uncanny ability to read people like books, and without a doubt my silence gets mistaken for an absence of knowledge, when it’s quite the opposite in fact. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t open your mouth and comment on something unless you know it’s accurate and have the ability to back it up. So with that statement, if you are on the receiving end of me opening my mouth about a subject, then prepare to be slapped with the unbias, and unadulterated truth - which as we know, can be more cold and callous than any lie. Everything I do, I do for a reason. I strategically and methodologically analyse every situation and every possible outcome of it so I am able to understand it but ultimately protect myself. One of my favourite quotes is that ‘the truth always prevails in the end’ and boy does it ever.

It grows more evident the older I get that this ability I have to read people is an unconscious decision that stems from being hyper vigilant. It does present its problems though, like causing the feeling of being constantly stuck between the stages of fight, flight or freeze, it’s a blessing and a curse - one would say oxymoronic at its true core. Life has always been so black and white for me, and learning grey has been exhausting, both mentally and physically but truly worth it in hindsight. Im allowing colour to trickle back into my life slowly though and it’s given me the foresight to see the world (and the people in it) in a different light, just like a kaleidoscope. Up until a few years ago, I was always so sure of the person I was, but the past few years really made me question everything I know about people… myself included. I got hurt by people that I never thought were capable of the things they did, and lost people that I thought would be in my life indefinitely. Some things have become so deeply imbedded in my soul that they occasionally weep, so I guess you could say nothing ceases to surprise me anymore. I always say that I’m going to hope for the best and prepare for the worst but preparing for the worst has become somewhat of a ritual for me and I grow evermore cautious of hope with each passing day.

Without a doubt, the biggest and hardest pill to swallow as of recent months has been that not everyone has a good heart just because I do. More importantly, just because I treat people with kindness, understanding and compassion, doesn’t mean I’ll receive the same treatment back. I’ve realised that over the past few weeks that it reflects more about them and their character, than it does me. Not everyone has the same moral compass as me, nor everyone has a big heart full of love like me and some people are only interested in saving their own skins - don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with protecting your peace. But there’s a difference between protecting your peace and remaining silent and then lying and stonewalling those individuals, especially when they try to communicate in a healthy way with you about a problem. We all mess up, but I think what’s important is owning your behaviours. It’s come to my attention that not everyone I’ve crossed paths with have spent the time looking at their own maladaptive coping mechanisms. They haven’t given themselves the respect to understand or recognise where the dysregulation stems from, and as a direct result from that, it allows for an inability to correct their behaviour at its root stem and be better in the future - so they are just stuck in the same cycles. I’ve realised that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink, and if this is the bed they chose to make then let them sleep in it. Theres nothing wrong with feeling emotions in that precise moment though and giving yourself time to sit in your grief, but I emphasise that no joy ever comes from wallowing in them for prolonged periods of time and there is a time where you will have to deal with those feelings and situations head on before they swallow you whole.

I think for now I’ll enjoy sitting back, remaining humble and continue to people watch. They say time heals all wounds but I think time only gives us the ability to reflect and process those wounds. If we don’t deal with the monsters under our beds, and the damage they cause to ourselves and others, then they never really go away - they just get better at hiding by wearing a mask. Inevitably, they always trickle back in and just like clockwork, they always come full circle. Poetically, it’s always at the least desirable moment and before you know it, you’re weeping through the cuts you scrambled so desperately to bandage. The right path is not always the path with least resistance, we all know what we need to do but it’s just finding the strength to do it. You really do get back what you put into the universe.

#Healing #people pleaser #heartbreak #trauma #therapy #abuse survivor #mental health #positive mental attitude #psychology #mental illness #friendship breakup

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filmbyjy · 1 year

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TWITTER SUCKS! > sixteen! let me sniff [written]

synopsis > who knew you could become famous overnight for paying $8 for a single blue checkmark? however, it does come with consequences…what happens when the actual BELIFT Lab comes knocking at your door. all because you simply impersonated your bias.

masterlist | previous | next

WORD COUNT: 0.9K words

WARNINGS: I do mention sex here like a couple of times but they are just for shits and giggles. I could never write smut (though JAM OUT was a whole complete different level)

a/n: holy shit, first written chapter of the series😮 ALSO!! SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO MY MUSLIM FOLLOWERS🫶🏻🫶🏻 time to get your raya duit and spend it on enha😍

everything was fine. well at least what heeseung thought, he didn’t know that the staff he was practically close with was mean to the other members. until they told him of course.

he knew this staff was pretty quote on quote ‘touchy’ but heeseung never thought she was crazy. however, if the boys say she’s insane then it must be true. heeseung could trust the boys way more than her, after all she just recently started working with their team.

— placing this in case read more messes up —

“hyung, just watch and observe her for a couple of weeks. you’ll notice how mean she is with sunoo and sunghoon.” jay says.

and it’s what heeseung did. he observed her and he was definitely not surprised. jay always knew how to tell the truth, he was also never a great liar. there was also something in particular she does which ticks heeseung off. it was the way she handled things, especially with fans.

it was like those bodyguards at airports. who push those ‘fans’ when they were about to enter the waiting area. the only difference is the ENGENEs that they met were really nice and respectful, she was not. she had insist the ENGENEs weren’t allowed to photograph any of them. which seems fair since it was a private schedule but heeseung felt like it was unnecessary. the fans weren’t even asking for a photograph, they were simply shocked to see the boys and said hi.

“I get what you mean, she’s crazy.” heeseung says. all 7 of the boys were sprawled in the living room. ni-ki and jake were playing the PS5.

“I think she purposely approached HYBE to get a job and be close to heeseung hyung. she sees me and sunghoon hyung as a threat because she knows that we don’t fuck with her.” sunoo rolls his eyes.

“well, she’s creepy. how old was she again?”

“hyung’s age?” jake says. he yells after because ni-ki’s kart had pushed his to the side. “YAH! NISHIMURA I WAS WINNING.”

“too bad, jake hyung.” ni-ki sticks out his tongue, teasing the boy.

“she’s like one of the youngest staff member on our team. she’s definitely trying to seduce hyung.” jungwon says.

“the attempt isn’t subtle at all. we literally see her undressing heeseung with her eyes.” sunghoon complains. heeseung gasps before covering his body up as if he could imagine her eyes.

“she did that?”

“oh hyung, if only you weren’t oblivious. yes, she did undress you with her eyes.” sunghoon says.

“she literally slowly panned her eyes up and down your body. she looked like a total pervert.” jake gags.

“fuck, what do we do?”

“hmm, maybe we could…lowkey record her? use the en-core camera and like angle ourselves to where she is sort of seen but also off-camera so they won’t blur out her face.” jungwon says.

“won, you are a genius.” jake says.

“oh I know.” jungwon smirks. jay playfully rolls his eyes.

“anyways, are you going to confess to (name) noona?” sunoo tilts his head. he prettily flutters his eyes whilst cupping his face. heeseung shakes his head.

“I don’t like (name) like that. we are just flirting for fun, besides i can’t just risk my career like that.”

“then what’s with all the ‘god, she’s beautiful’ or ‘i wish I could date her’ muttered under your breath, hyung?”

“i just-I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to fall in love.”

“so you became a simp? that still shows you have feelings for her.” sunghoon says.

“I don’t know what love is.” heeseung huffs.

“booooo, for someone who flirts with ENGENEs all the time. you suck at realising your feelings.” jay grumbles.

“you are like jay hyung. a virgin.” jungwon says.

“man, I have sex.” jay folds his arms.

jake snorts, “with what? your right hand? that’s not sex.”

“hyung, ni-ki is right there.” jungwon scolds.

“it’s true though, what bitches is jay pulling.” sunghoon shrugs.

“your mom.” jay says.

“sorry but my mom has taste. reason why, she and my dad created me. the hot sexy bitch I am.” sunghoon flips his hair.

it went dead silent and sunghoon rolls his eyes. “I make the face of the group. you should be thankful for my visuals.”

“heeseung hyung is the face of the group but sure, we thank you for your visuals.” sunoo says.

“only sunoo has my back. you guys are fake as fuck.” sunghoon huffs.

>> next day >>

as per usual, the boys had their schedule. their plan had already initiated. today, jay was their videographer.

“heeseung, it’s time for your makeup.” heeseung was about to go but sunoo decided to put on an act knowing jay was already recording.

“jieun noona, could you help sew my clothes? it seems like there is a tear in the clothes.” sunoo says. jieun rolls her eyes.

“there are other stylists around, can’t you ask them? I have to prioritise heeseung first.”

“the other stylists are busy with the other members-”

“I don’t care, go find another stylist.” she pushes sunoo away. sunoo rolls his eyes once he turns his head away, jay was there to film everything. jay knew ENGENEs could trust sunoo’s judgement. he was always right when it came to feeling a person’s character.

another opportunity rises after the performance, this time jake records.

“heeseung, come here. you must be smelling horrible.”

“uh, yeah. I just finished a performing.” heeseung says, he could feel the awkwardness and he hated it.

she sniffs heeseung and sighs, “I knew it. come on, let’s get you cologne or something. you smell like sweat.” jake gasps behind the camera. jungwon watching in horror.

“nah, she’s foul for that.” sunghoon says.

“heeseung hyung must feel so bad now.” ni-ki pouts.

“you smell too ni-ki.” jake says. ni-ki shoves jake.

that’s all before jake shoves ni-ki and they start play fighting. like puppies.

series taglist[open]: @lovers-szn @shiguresohmas @moonshoon @byunappetit @strvlveera @rikisly @4lythe @lalalalawon @beansworldsstuff @enhastolemyheart @jaehaki @shinsou-rii @jeanbob @sxftiell @renchai @nyfwyeonjun @invusblog @lhees01 @donghyckl @enhafika @dimplewonie @foxsunoo @luv2lia @lvrjjun @curly-fr13s @bubblytaetae @raikea10 @ce1ight @luvlee1313 @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @soobisrealgfnotfake @justkatehere @l0tisflower @jseobsky @haerinism @liliansun @kyanmeai @nobodyshallenter @faeryhee @pkjay @mlink64 @luxurystark-jackson @aleombre @yenqa @heestrawberries @soaen @ckline35 @http-gyu @climbingmandevillas @stopeatread @y4wnjunz @aetherlol @whippedforbeomgyu @elisabeth-02 @tlnyjoong

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veliseraptor · 1 year

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So that latest Zelkam art of the core transfer has been sucking my brain out of my head all night. And now I can't stop thinking of how much JC's inherited that he never wanted or knew: Zidian (mother), the core (brother), Jin Ling (sister), Suibian (brother x2). I'd include the Jiang name and clan if I wanted to include his father. And it hurts me. He's left with so many remnants of his loved ones and yet how hollow does he feel? How unloved? Answers surely depend on post/canon timeline but idk. I'm just wrecked. *dies quietly*

I have a lot of Feelings about the ways in which Jiang Cheng really does just keep getting handed inheritances he doesn't want to have. People keep giving him things (in a material and metaphorical sense), but it doesn't seem like the give him things as an uncomplicated gift but as this enormous, weighty thing that comes with an immense price. "Here, take my life," people keep saying to Jiang Cheng, "take this and my death with it." And the hideous irony of the core transfer is that that's true even when Jiang Cheng himself tries to give his own life for the people he loves, only with the result that Wei Wuxian turns right around and gives up his own to "fix" it.

But yeah! His mother bequeaths him Zidian in the process of sending him away while she dies. Wei Wuxian dies and leaves him with a flute and a sword he doesn't want. Jin Ling...it's not that he doesn't want Jin Ling, he always would have wanted to be in his life, but not like this. oh I know I'm going to do the thing I do and quote my own fic

You, me, and a-Cheng, said a-jie’s voice in his ear. We must stay together, and never separate.

He’d never learned how to let go, but he’d been the one left behind anyway.

for someone who is in a lot of ways defined by the way that he holds on to the past, for better or worse (and I don't think it's all bad! his success rebuilding Jiang Sect is I think owed in part to his drive to never let what happened to it before to happen again), he does keep end up being the one left, and left holding mementos and reminders that are just a constant chafing reminder of what he lost.

it really adds something fun and spicy too to the bit during the second siege of the Burial Mounds, both in the novel and in CQL:

Jin Ling had never seen so many fierce corpses before, much less at such a close distance. He could feel his scalp tingle, and clenched Suihua's hilt. Yet, suddenly, his fist was peeled open, and a cold object was stuffed inside. He looked down in surprise. "Jiujiu?"

Jiang Cheng propped himself up with Sandu, which had lost its spiritual energy. His figure wavered slightly. "Try losing Zidian, just see what happens!"

[...] When Jin Ling saw that all of the people his age had rushed over, he couldn't hold himself back either. When Jiang Cheng was distracted, he stuffed Zidian back into his hand and sprinted toward the front... (Chapter 80, trans. Exiled Rebels)

The way it's acted here in particular it feels very much like Jin Ling at least has a sense of how loaded this gesture is, whatever Jiang Cheng says about giving it back. Here he is! Continuing the chain of just passing down things as a legacy that in no way substitute for the person they stand for.

just to set those screenshots alongside this:

there's something I think to Jiang Cheng that's not just incredibly painful in all the obvious ways about the core transfer, but specifically in the way that it's related to a sacrifice he very deliberately made - and now he finds out that not only was that sacrifice ultimately utterly pointless, or worse than pointless, the person he originally made it for made it so. It's this "oh, you can sacrifice yourself for me but I can't do the same for you?" that's so bitter to feel, both because I do think there's some amount of "why do you always, always get to come out of things the hero" but more than that, "why did you do this when I made my decisions specifically to protect you; does my desire to protect you not matter? doesn't it mean anything?"

Jiang Cheng standing with his hands full of memorials going "I don't want these," because what he actually wanted was his family, but the world kept taking them away, and apparently in at least one case his family actively didn't get the memo.

#conversating #apprenticedmagician #been a while since jiang cheng feelings but here we still are!#jiang cheng #the sad queer cultivators show

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fivekrystalpetals · 10 months

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Core of the Abyss and 'her' Children of "Misfortune"

(aka I can't stop thinking how the Core always welcomed and reached out to the Children of "Ill-Omen"— just some observations)

So, once again quoting Lacie's words from Retrace 101:

Yes, always alone and lonely...without even knowing what loneliness is. Still, 'she' kept yearning.. for someone to push through the cold darkness and reach her. —'She' longed for 'someone' who could do that.

[Anyway I am ignoring everything the Glen(s) and the Jury ever said about the Core of the Abyss or the Children of Misfortune (because I don't trust them at all) —and taking only Lacie's theory here to be the truth,]

so, a few theories:

1] Break would have been drawn into the Core of the Abyss whether or not the Intention wanted his eyes

When his illegal seal finished a full turn, Break reached the Core of the Abyss unlike other illegal contractors who fall into the Abyss.

I had assumed this was possible only because the Intention of the Abyss herself summoned Break there so she could pluck out his red eyes for her blind Cheshire before he turns into a chain.

Even the other dolls mention this situation as unusual. The Intention never lets a human/illegal contractor into her room.

You don't usually bring humans here when they drop into the Abyss.

Meaning, the other illegal contractors on completing their contracts get dropped into the abyss and turn into chains without ever meeting the Intention for whatever they wished of her. So much for going through all this trouble lol

So, I imagined that only those whom the Intention permits could enter the Core of the Abyss (that is, her lovely toy room);

But.

Vincent does "waltz" into her "room" without any problem???

Now, I don't think Vince entered her room to purposely antagonize her as he usually did, because he was pretty shaken by all the bloodshed and massacre he just witnessed at Sablier. It was a coincidence and even he seemed shocked he was meeting White Alice in her "other" room when he was sure "Alice" had died in the real world. In fact, he wonders if there being another Alice and all the madness going on in the toy room was his fault as well...

Secondly, this is a feat none of the other older and more experienced Baskervilles could achieve, right?

All the surviving Baskervilles got swept into the Abyss during the Tragedy of Sablier. Yet not one of them came in contact with the Intention. They were only able to traverse the Abyss and come out at various points of time. They did not know what the Intention looked like; neither do any of them talk about actually having met her. They merely repeat what Xai or Glen told them that it was the sudden appearance of the Intention that changed the very configuration of the Abyss as they knew it before.

That's why I think the Intention's words are only partially true (but I don't think she realized this either).

That is, she does have complete control over who enters the Core of the Abyss/her room—

Except for the Children of Ill-Omen.

Because the Children of Ill-Omen are specifically birthed by the Core and are very precious to 'her', the Core wants them to reach out to 'her' at the very depth. So that whenever a Child of Ill-Omen falls into the Abyss willingly*, they are directly led to the Core that used to be a dark shapeless form during Lacie's time, but took on the form of a toy room after the Intention became its vessel.

Lacie insisted that she could see "someone" at the depth of the Abyss and that the "someone" couldn't answer her—

but of course, the Glens and Jury only regard the Core as something not to be touched or approached unless "a serious crisis occurs"

and every time the Core produces another Child of Ill-Omen, hoping, waiting, over and over again that they will reach out to 'her' at the very abyssal depth... instead, they are meted out the punishment of being dragged down by Black Chains and left to die in the very Abyss that wanted to cherish their company. They are being "returned" to the Core because of the misinformation/falsehood that the presence of a Red-Eyed child is an accidental distortion created by the Core and pose danger to the integrity of the world

whereas the actual reason is that Core just wants someone to help her not be lonely anymore.

See:

How sweet is it that the Core loved her toy so much that 'she' gave it a tiny spark of life and trembled in grief when 'she' hears that Lacie will never visit her again? ;_;

The Core never asked for the "ill-omened" children to be punished for being born; on the contrary, they are the ones most precious to her.

That's why I think they inevitably end up in the Core to keep 'her' company, whatever be the reason they fell into the Abyss in the first place, whether the completion of an illegal contract or being swept into the Abyss.

(willingly*: I mean, when the Child of Ill-Omen falls into the Abyss by any other means than being held down by the Black Winged Chains. Because Lacie could descend into the Core by herself but held down by the Black Chains, she could only wait out her permanent death.)

(Since Gil was with Vince, he too winded up in the Core, but he was not cognizant of his surroundings so that's a moot point anyway.)

2] That Break listens and commits himself to the one and only request of the Intention of the Abyss

This is in continuation to the first point; hence, kind of a paradoxical situation—

Because only a Child of Ill-Omen could have ever reached to the depth of the Abyss; and so, only a Child of Ill-Omen could have ever got to listen to her request at all.

But by the end of the story, (thanks to Lady Shelly, by the way, because if not for her, would Break have lived on to pass the Intention's desire to the kids? I don't think so), everyone came to know what the Intention really wanted and worked towards the goal.

So that, knowingly or otherwise, Break did fulfill his role as the bridge between the living world and the Core of the Abyss before his death.

As Leo asked of Vince in Retrace 104:

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weaselandfriends · 6 months

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Don't suppose you've seen Gen Urobuchi's recent movie on Netflix, Bubble? It has a lot of Madoka Magica DNA, because of course it does—but it's surprisingly bloodless for one of his stories. For that reason, I can't imagine you'd like it, but it occurred to me that its premise, with boys surviving out in the world while playing a competitive sport, had very similar vibes to some of the themes you've discussed regarding your upcoming Pokémon fic!

I have not seen Bubble. I'm honestly awful at watching new stuff as it comes out, though like everyone else I am currently watching Frieren (and I saw Oshi no Ko last season).

As far as Urobuchi goes, I've honestly not been too impressed by the rest of his oeuvre. What I've seen includes:

Fate/Zero: Falls off hard in the second half, though the reason for this might have more to do with being a prequel than any particular decisions Urobuchi himself made

Phantom Requiem for the Phantom: Ignore the awesome name, this is so boring, also has a terrible Dice Guy villain (I'll explain what this means); however, the ending (like the last five minutes) is strong

Psycho-Pass: Another outrageous Dice Guy villain, slow start, though it picks up near the end

Saya no Uta: I actually like this, it's good

Now what is a Dice Guy? This is a term I coined when watching the extremely bad anime Akuma no Riddle. In this anime, there is a character who barely ever interacts with the plot, but rather stays in the background, sitting in a shadowy room, from which he ostensibly exerts some puppetmaster-style control over the events unfolding. The show frequently cuts to this character as he monologues to himself about deep-sounding philosophical topics such as the nature of fate and chance, topics he emphasizes by a fixation with a pair of dice he constantly rolls. For instance, at once point he might say something like "Fate is... a roll of the dice," and then roll his dice. (I parodied this specific guy in Cockatiel x Chameleon via the company boss Harper meets near the end of the story.)

Though it's not always dice specifically that the Dice Guy plays with as he rambles about intellectual-sounding topics in the most surface-level ways imaginable, the core conceit is similar, and Urobuchi loves this type of guy to no end. Psycho-Pass's villain, for instance, is constantly monologuing about and quoting literature; Phantom Requiem for the Phantom's villain has a similar fixation with theater, likening the events of the story to performances in a play.

I hate these guys. They're insufferable. And they plague Urobuchi's work. Kyubey would probably have wound up a dice guy if the necessities of Madoka's plot structure didn't leave him only ambiguously villainous for most of the story. He does, after all, fill the role of a shadowy puppetmaster. I'm imagining a world where Kyubey's speech likening magical girls to cattle isn't a one-off moment but the core defining motif of his character, and I shiver.

While a lot of fans in the space attribute Madoka entirely to Urobuchi, I like to point out that Madoka also had an auteur director at the helm with his own distinct creative vision: Akiyuki Shinbo, the mastermind behind everything produced by Studio Shaft. I think Shinbo and Urobuchi both limited some of the other's more indulgent practices, and it is specifically in their collaboration that something as uniquely special as Madoka Magica could come about.

Anyway, I apologize for going on this diatribe/rant, but I feel bad answering a question sent to me with a simple "No," so I gave you this instead. Enjoy?

#puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica #pmmm #gen urobuchi #akiyuki shinbo #dice guy #phantom requiem for the phantom #psycho-pass #anime #akuma no riddle

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banquisefond · 2 years

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Why do I think Diana Barry is a lesbian ?

First of all, I'd like to note that I totally understand if anyone disagrees. What will follow is solely my very personal interpretation of Diana's character arc. Also, this only applies to the "Anne with an E" version of the character, I have never seen any other adaptation so I can't speak for it.

Diana is a young girl who's been raised in a rural and conservative environment. Even though her family is rich and gave her an education, the very fact of her living in the countryside has forbidden her have an open perspective on the world. Until Anne arrives in her life, she knows no better than what her family, church and conservative neighbors taught her. Throughout the seasons, her character is developed around the journey she takes to break from that pattern. Step by step, she lifts the veil that was tied before her eyes, proving that despite her "perfect daughter to become perfect spouse" appearance, she is, in fact, different. She's different from what was planned for her, but she's also different from the people of Avonlea. Her perspective and dreams are.

Her difference is already implied at the core of her character. Have you ever noticed how she is the only character (or almost) with a non-christian name ? Now, I know, this is reaching, I promise that I have more solid arguments for later, but hear me out on this one. I could list an enormous enumeration of names from that show that have christian roots (Anne, Matthew, Mary, Sebastian etc.). While this difference is never addressed in AWAE, it is in the first book, by Matthew. I won't have the quote right because I own the books in french so let me resume it. Matthew tells Anne about Diana when she first arrives in Avonlea. Anne gasps because she thinks Diana has a beautiful name. Matthew later on complains on it non being christian and that her parents better have named her Jane or something. She was named that way because the Barrys hosted a professor by the time of her birth. Eventually, they let him name their newborn for some reason. So, he choose "Diana", which is inspired by the roman goddess "Diane". Firstly, I think this can be interpreted as a sign her path isn't traditional education, intended by her parents who wants to send her to Paris but rather an actual education, which she'll choose by attending college. Moreover, we can go further by acknowledging that a named inspired by Diane says a lot too. Diane is the goddess of hunt, and protector of young women (in other words virginity). Diane's entourage was strictly feminine, men weren't allowed. Now, some people assume that Diane and her companions were in fact sapphics. Anyway, Diane is the symbol of independents women who don't require men to live to the fullest.

After some subtext, we now can lean on the actual events of the show.

As we previously established, Diana is, at the beginning of the show, still oblivious of the outside world and as Anne would say, the possibilities. Her very first breakthrough is the first encounter between she and Anne.

Anne is a free-thinker. Her only education she ever had is from the books she read and her own imagination. That makes her this very unique character full of open-mindedness and creativity. This is the first time Diana met someone so different from what she knows.

I'd like to focus on that one scene in the 03x01 episode when Anne makes Diana swear solemnly on their friendship. When Anne first come up with the idea, Diana is firmly closed because she's been taught by her religious background that swearing is a sin. Anne, who has always known the term "swearing" trough literature, proceeds to explain Diana what it means to her, and how beautiful that is.

"Shall we swear we’ll be best friends, for ever and ever ? (...) - Let’s imagine that it’s night time and that this path is a stream. Hold this. Twist your finger around mine (...) I solemnly swear to be faithful to my bosom friend Diana Barry for as long as the sun and the moon shine”

This quote speaks for itself on how magnificent that scene was. Anyway. This moment is immensely important for Diana. It is also for Anne, but from her perspective, she sees it more as an occasion to live in her fantasy world full of poetry. For Diana, it represents the beginning of her change and growth. She opened her mind about something she thought was immoral, only to find out it's actually beautiful. At this moment, we can see in her eyes that she's falling in love. Not necessarily with Anne but with her freedom. This is the realization that she could be way more.

“I could never love anyone as I love you Anne - Wait, you love me ? - Off course I do (...) - I thought you liked me of course, but I’ve never hoped you loved me - I love you devotedly Anne” - (1x5)

Diana directly confess her love for Anne. Of course, it is displayed as a platonic love, and it probably is for Anne, but I just want to slid it in there.

Now, let's dive in, as I call it, the "Party at aunt Joséphine/homophobia" arc. Again, there is this display of the duality between what she's intended to be and what she could be at the beginning, when she meets this famous pianist who recommend her to start a career as a musician. Diana seems almost offended because playing piano other than for recreational purposes was never a possibility for her. Then, she founds herself surrounded by a diversity of people (queer people, independent woman etc.) before learning that her aunt was, in fact, a lesbian. Then the internalized homophobia knocks in and Diana is very upset. She feels kind of betrayed by the truth, to find out that the world is wider than she knew it to be.

This series of events leads to this very emotional scene between Cole and Diana. While Diana stands firmly that same sex relationships are wrong, Cole gives her the most adorable speech. I'll let his words speaks for me :

“If your aunt lived her life feeling something was wrong with her, that she was...broken, defective, or unnatural...then one day, she met someone that made her realize that wasn’t true, there was nothing wrong with her and she was fine. Shouldn’t we be happy for her ? - I think it’s spectacular”

Does that rings any bells ? I'm not gonna over-explaining this. Diana basically discovers that omg gay people exists !!! And that it's not inherently a bad thing.

It is time to dismantle the Jerry allegations.

This "romance" takes place at the very fateful moment of Diana character arc, when she have to choose between 2 futures. The one her parents decided, and the one she truly wants, alongside with aunt Jo and Anne.

First thing about teenagers who plans to go against their parents for the first time, is that they'll try to experience rebellious acts in a smaller scale, to know how it feels. This is exactly what Diana did with Jerry. He is the closest boy she knows while being the only one her parents don't know about. She wants to feel forbidden love, but, she soon finds out that she doesn't feel anything for Jerry. There is no passion, she is not intellectually triggered with him neither. After realizing that, she ditch him pretty rudely. She knows she was wrong from the beginning and that all this just wasn't for her.

Finally, Diana reaches the acceptation of who she is by the end of the third season. She knows what she wants and got to finally attend to Queen's college after secretly taking the exams.

This represents her embracing being different. She choose to go against traditional ways. She choose to get an education, despite the remonstrances from her family. This is the end of her journey to find herself and the beginning of a new one where she can fully be herself.

I see this development as a really accurate parallel with the lesbian experience. Of course, you're free to see it as it is stated in the show. I just want to share :)

I doubt anyone read this until the end but, if any of you have a good fanfic about Diana finding a girl in college, I'm open lol.

#anne with an e #anne shirley cuthbert #diana barry #awae analysis #jerry baynard #wlw #wlw post #women loving women #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #anne of green gables #anne x diana #gilbert blythe #josephine barry #aunt josephine

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maesterchill · 9 months

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MY TACKY TASTE

Happy birthday my dear @tackytigerfic !

I don't have a gift for you this year, sadly. I have been pretty terrible at gifts this year. So, instead I'm resurrecting this banner of dubious merit that I did for you about 5 years ago lmao, shur why not. I'm all about recycling ♻️

You're a brilliant friend, a gorgeous person, and a very talented writer. It was very difficult to come up with a list of my favourites because you've never written a thing I didn't like. I think a lot of these are ones you maybe don't rec yourself AS much, but they all have a really important place in my heart. For each one I'm going to share a few quotes that I loved.

Silverpoint (E, 8.8k) - This one is so special for me as it's the fic where I felt I got to know Tacky so much better. I felt we worked really well together on it, like symbiosis.

- You whisper something soft and too telling into his skin as you kiss the velvet of his inner thigh, the strung bow of the back of his knee, the eggshell delicacy of his ankle bone - After a while you wonder why, when you're the target of an obsessive, megalomaniacal, all-powerful Dark wizard who has used literal blood magic to reanimate himself back from the dead in order to kill you, all you can bring yourself to care about is the way the clean lines of morning sun kiss the ridge of Malfoy’s jaw as he licks jam off the side of his little finger.

Through the Window, Clear Skies (M, 1.4k) - This one really *altered my brain chemistry* 🤣 as to how I thought about Draco. He's so wonderful in this, Tacky, you got him just right.

- "He always had talked a lot, Harry remembered, and he said as much about himself. I never shut up, I’m a bit much sometimes, with that crease between his brows that showed he was cross about caring too much about it; and he said out it just like that, like it was a fact, as though it was something he’d heard from other people too many times before. But Harry had never had enough of anything, growing up, and privately he thought that a bit much sounded like just right. Not that he knew how to tell Draco that, but Draco seemed to understand anyway." - "They didn't talk about loving each other, of course. Neither of them was good with that sort of thing, and anyway Harry had always been better at doing. And Draco, well Draco didn't trust the word love. It always meant the wrong things, before. He said it once though, when Harry was about to go out in the snow for the papers, and was carelessly muffling himself up to his eyeballs in Draco’s old school scarf. Draco had kissed him on the mouth right through all the layers of green and told him crossly, I love you, and again with another kiss, the outbreath of it muggy through the wool, I love you, Harry, like Harry was somehow at fault. But he sounded like he meant it."

And One To Play (E, 21k) - FWB, wild magic, weather shenanigans, magical theory, brilliant and a bit sleazy meglomaniac villain, HOT COMPETENT DRACO 🚨 (and a gift for me so....)

Tacky's writing in this fic is at times so funny and at times so insightful, and very often heartkicky and also quite a bit hot and romantic. FUNNY: The trouble is, Harry thinks ruefully, that they're not really very good at trying not to have sex again. It's only four days on from the potions lab raid, and they've already fucked again, which was absolutely not the plan. "You're being an unromantic twat, Potter. You can bloody well wait until the Healers have pumped you full of core replenisher and Resanguinis potion and discharged you so that I can take you home, and say it back to you, and then fuck you so slowly you think you're going to cry. Is that clear?" INSIGHTFUL CHARACTERISATIONS: - Harry can see that Malfoy's natural desire for a dramatic build-up is warring with his excited need to tell Harry his news immediately. - He's not Harry's Malfoy without the curl of his expressive mouth, without the glitter of intelligence in the grey eyes, without the constant play of emotions across his face. HOT: - nothing about them has changed, except all those years of friendship have shifted over a bit to allow room for the unfurling of this overwhelming sense of pure want. HEARTKICKY: Harry realised early on that being loved was not a right granted to everyone. So when he does love, it's a fierce and powerful thing. He doesn't compromise with the people he loves 🥺 EXCITING: The descriptions of Harry's wild magic are so good! - when Harry raises his hand, he feels the snap and hum as everything comes together for a moment—his magic, and the sex-warm air in their office, surge together with the bright clarity of a bell chiming. He laughs in delight as he feels it into being, the air around his hand beginning to whip and whirl faster until he's holding a miniature zephyr in his palm - It's vibrating impatiently in the very molecules of the air, desperate to be harnessed. He takes it—takes all of it into himself—until the thrum of it pulses through his bloodstream and knocks at his bones from the inside out. He feels ripe and swollen with power. ROMANCE: "There's only ever going to be one you, Potter. So I'm in, if you're asking"

The Opposite of Hate You (M, 3.9k) ModernLove!Verse, bathing and washing (on brand), toe-touching, heart-to-hearts, biscuits (also on brand)

- Harry thinks about it, about Draco up at the top of the church, hair silvered up in the divine light from the dome, pale and severe and buttoned up from throat to ankles, and he likes it, of course he likes it, but it’s got nothing on the real Draco who’s right here under him, breathing hard, with his stupid bright blue pants shoved down around his thighs, and his hair all tangled up in Harry’s fingers, and his plate of biscuits forgotten on the coffee table. “I like you best like this,” Harry tells him seriously, and Draco takes a shaky breath.

Our Little Life (M, 7.3k) - Lovers in every lifetime! A swooping, sweeping, soaring, surging, skyrocketing stunner of a story... so original and so enchanting. An achingly beautiful story of questioning and realising and longing and inevitability. I fell in love with Tacky's Draco all over again (in his wide brimmed hat, in red lipstick, in a toga and earring), just as Harry/Henri/Henricus/Anraoi did too 😍 not to mention their lushly drawn settings (in a currach, in the trenches, sweaty and sticky in bed)? And all peppered with literary and linguistic and charmingly nerdy Easter eggs?

- He wanted to tell his Malfoy, “I see how things could be for us, I see it all the time,” but he knew that Malfoy wouldn’t get it. So instead he just told Malfoy, “I want you to like me as much as I like you,” and that was finally, grimly, satisfying, because Malfoy went pink and blotchy all of a sudden. - When it came down to it, all they really had to do was learn each other’s bodies, and they had always been skilled at learning each other

Last Offices (M, 6.7k) - MCD, rituals, mourning. Honestly, Tacky had me right from Harry leaving bruises across elegant knobs of pale knuckles through him pressing at Draco's slack useless pulsepoint to stretch the skin out for the razor’s sweep, fingers rasping against the stubble, and they didn't let go until Draco lazily shaking a frying pan, smiling at Harry across the kitchen and Harry crying

- He'd tried to say, “I love you,” no matter that half the Auror squad was there to hear it, only they never really said that to each other, and it felt too weird and final. But then Draco died, on one last pained bubbling futile gasp, and Harry wished he had said it anyway, because anything would have been better than just letting Draco go like that, while choking silently on his own preemptive grief.

The Thing You Shouldn't Do (M, 1.2k) - the second wizarding war, spy!Draco, bruises, lots of good stuff based on those first three things. There is a pattern in Tacky's work of one or or other of them being 'too much' or thinking they're too much. And always, always, they are just exactly 'right' for the other one, and I CAN NOT get enough of this trope. Never will. Also, I think this little fic sparked Tackys FTH in a tiny way, so we must give thanks and exultation where it is due.

- He peeled my fingers off his wrist when I clutched too hard, rubbed at the bracelet of bruises I left (I was always too much when it came to him). - "I always bruise him up, spill the pattern of my desperate fingers across his body until his skin blooms with the story of how much I need him." "I keep the marks of his mouth livid on all the secret parts of my skin"

Relic Radiation (M, 927 words) Interstellar boyfriends, Dad Draco.... do you need any more convincing? Actually gonna just post the comment i left:

There are so many complex feelings in this little piece: that mean selfish part of Harry that can't get past how very fucking much he wants to be the centre of Draco's universe... he knows, he knows, that Draco wants this and needs this and that he should be happy for him and that he's 'being a shit', and yet he feels the thing he wants slipping away, that he's second fiddle in Draco's life, or maybe even third, and that Draco shouldn't want to leave him for so long. And on the flip side we see Draco not rising to any of it, because he knows, he knows that Harry is only saying these things (and that Harry'd actually be horrified to have succeeded in shaming him into not going), and that anyway it's all bullshit because Harry has never EVER been second fiddle.

After dinner Harry and Scorpius went up to the Astronomy Tower still wearing their silly hats, and watched until the distant winking light appeared overhead. The third brightest thing in the sky, Draco had said. It was hard to miss.

Countdown to a Life (E, 3.4k) A gorgeous set of vignettes, structurally beautiful, which embarrassingly I haven't actually commented on but is somehow still so fresh in my mind.

From GoodFriend!Ginny: "It’s not noble to do something that makes both of you unhappy. That’s just stupid." - Draco's mouth moves silently, disbelievingly, and Harry thinks there may be the beginnings of a smile in there somewhere. - “If I could choose to make someone happy, I would pick you. Every single time, I’d pick you.” ❤️

Right well after doing this little exercise, which I thoroughly enjoyed because it meant I got to revisit some of my pal's lovely words, I realise there are LOADS of them I haven't commented on. How appalling! Anyway, that's a me issue (you know i've read and loved them all), and Tacky, I hope that you have had the day that you deserve, i.e full of fun and love and relaxation and treats. I treasure you!!

#happy birthday tacky!#the bestest and loveliest #tackytiger recs #my tacky taste #loads ive missed out #but i can simply NOT rec them all #though i would like to #drarry fic recs #drarry #drarry fic #tacky wacky doodah #tacky tiger burning bright

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browniefox · 4 months

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Alright, more Crisis Core, let's go! This one ended up being REALLY long (we got through two chapters), so I'm putting a read more some ways down so it doesn't kill people's dashes.

The boy said the line!

Yay, Cloud is finally here! He still clearly has the basic infantry model other than the head, but it does mean he stands in the casual almost sassy way they all do haha. In general, it's so weird but cute to see him smiling and laughing. Aw, he's not traumatized yet!

I knew what was coming, but my friend I'm playing with didn't, so it was fun to see her reaction (tho i totally still got so excited anyway haha).

This is just here bc I love them so <3 And then Tseng is also here being a third wheel. The sneaking portion that is right after this I sucked ass at. I couldn't make it five feet without being seen and tossed out, and I just had to wait until the game took pity on me and took the guards away.

Genesis, please I'm begging you just kill Hollander. I do love seeing his hair, once so bright red, getting grayer and darker, how his nice leather jacket is getting all broken, giving a sense that he's not taking care of himself and his things as much as he should be.

My sister has tried to stay more-or-less blind to what happens in Crisis Core (she knows some stuff, I know a little more) but all fics tend to use the same Loveless lines (which makes sense, of course) but I did end up reciting this quote with him bc it's one of my favorites, much to the shock of my sister.

I can't believe Zack really thinks Genesis died tho. Like, the guy has a wing, he can fly, falling is not gonna kill him. I'm still not totally clear what Genesis is trying to achieve, but I've been watching some of ButterBuns CCR videos and she's kind of given me a better sense of Genesis. He's just flailing around, trying to get something, anything, to work. He's a dying man who is desperate and doesn't even know himself exactly what he wants.

HELL YEAH! If the creators weren't cowards they would have let your models touch. Our new thing while playing is being proud of Zack for having two boyfriends and one girlfriend. The boy can get it.

As per usual, my biggest problem with this game is the writing - especially with Angeal, tbh. I guess Angeal is just like Genesis in that he's desperately trying to figure out who he is, monster or man. But every time he talks about being a monster I kind of roll my eyes. He's like an emo teenager. Last chapter I felt like it was getting a better grip and liking for him, but I'm kind of back to just being like 'what's your deal man'.

That being said, I kind of dig his weird monster form! It's a mishmash but super cool, and I love how his arms are folded in front of him. My friend and sister I don't think liked it as much and mostly made fun of it which, fair.

Mostly unrelated, but i really got myself into a big of predicament in that I'm super overpowered, which means I get through battles so quick, which also means I don't get to show off all the limit breaks and summons and such when we're playing ;-; but then I turn it to hard mode and die instantly.

I'm always a sucker for sad sunsets. I might not get Angeal or his deal, but I do at least buy that Zack cares about Angeal. It's kind of like Angeal was too set in his ways of monster vs heroes, and that a monster needs to be killed by a hero. That Zack is the only hero left to kill a monster like him, or that by doing so Zack proves he's a hero. But really all it's done is given Zack trauma and made him more uncertain than ever who he is and what he stands for.

(It kind of reminds me of near the end of Homestuck, when Dave and Dirk are talking, and Dave admits it's possible that Bro was trying to train him, but all it did was make him scared.)

I wish we got to spend more time in the game with Aerith, but at least you get the sense that they do spend more time with each other, especially with Aerith being there for Zack after this.

MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BOY! I wish your limit break looked cooler tho :P

Wait, so are Angeal and Genesis brothers then?? I knew they were connected through Gillian, but I guess how connected never hit me. I mean, Angeal defo has her hair while Genesis has her face, but also I've been imagining and seeing them as boyfriends this whole time???

So many mixed feelings about Zack right now. The first thing is yay, new hair cut! My sister absolutely hated his bangs, so big win for her. I do like that you get to see that, as one of the last remaining Firsts, Zack has started to take on more of a leadership and mentor role for the other SOLDIERs. However, him telling them to protect their SOLDIER honor is weird when Zack doesn't know what that is either. I've felt it, but I am glad Zack himself has acknowledged that he doesn't know what that honor is or what it means. I hope we get to see Zack figure it out. I also like that Zack is kind of unmoored and uncertain now. Puts him in an interesting place for whatever's next.

Beach episode! It is FUCKING INSANE to me that Cissnei just... tells Zack that Aerith is an Ancient. Why? What was the point of that? Cissnei, you can't just say that! I guess it could be seen as her trusting Zack and demonstrating she wants to help him, but it's still so weird. It's nice Zack has been said to be hanging with the turks more, but I wish we could have gotten more of that in game. I don't think he even knows Reno and Rude's names.

BOOO TSENG SHOULD BE IN A SWIMSUIT TOO BOO!

So I know Genesis is still alive, but interesting that this is beign considered since it's Sephiroth's whole deal. Tbh, tho, I'm not sure how I feel about Tseng openly acknowledging that Mako is life. How much is that recognized in general, actually? I mean, people do fade into mako when they die... hm, much to think about.

The chase through the city was so dumb, I've had it with Hollander, how hard can it be to catch and/or kill one guy for real. That being said, I do like how cool the buster sword is, and at the end is Sephiroth :D I'm glad that Zack seems a little bitter towards Sephiroth; they're both mourning in different ways, and it's driven a rift between both of them. But at the same time, they're the closest thing they both have to someone who can understand what they're going through.

Shoutout to Zack's little fidgets :D He's still a restless little puppy, despite it all. Sephiroth and Zack's relationship is just so good and interesting, I need them to hang out more so I can see more of it.

God Genesis is so pretty. Both him and Angeal have fucked up looking wings - which adds to what they're going through - but I actually love it for Genesis. Again, what is this dude's goal? He'll probably tell you once he figured it out himself. I love the reveal that he was also at Junon this whole time. Interesting parallel to how the Firsts fought 'at Junon' altogether and now they can't be further apart.

I need to pet that dog! Is Angeal still alive?? I totally thought he died, he has to be dead, right? Just living on in his copies? Anyway, the dog should be a character who manages to live forever because I love him. Also, laughed so hard when the little Shinra robots came into the church oh my god, it's not supposed to be funny I think but it's hilarious how non-threatening they look.

Wow Kunsel, jealous much?? Also, a little creepy? Is my boyfriend stalking me? If I trusted Kunsel, at this point I'd think he was going to betray me at some point, but I trust him too much for that. It seems more like Kunsel just doesn't know how to say 'I'm worried about you and you should talk to me about what you're going through'. I love Kunsel <3

As usual, this game feels like it goes too fucking fast. It's always one thing after another, nobody's talking or explaining things. Maybe it's because you're expected to do side missions every so often? That would probably break things up a bit more. God, there's such an interesting story here! I just wish it was told better.

Also I've been playing so much of this game and only just learned you can sprint :P

#browniefox speaks #ffvii #ff7 #crisis core #ffviicc #brownie plays ccr

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thestalwartheart · 1 year

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Hellooo I thought I might bang out some incoherent thoughts following your post about the influx of Blanc fans who hate Bond (or think they do because they've never actually bothered to watch any of the films) since I can't sleep :). I mentioned in my reply to your post earlier that a lot of people can't handle the idea of being emotionally invested a piece of media where the main character is morally ambiguous which genuinely annoys/terrifies me. It would be interesting to get a sense of how you/others actually became Bond fans in the first place and some of the reactions you get from people if you tell them. I get that part of the appeal for Benoit is that he's a bit of a blank slate. You can really project whatever you want onto him because he intentionally doesn't have many defining characteristics, other than the fact that he's queer and has a killer wardrobe. He's always in control of every situation he's in as well as his emotions and understandably, he makes you as a viewer feel safe. Like I get that and I love him dearly but he's also ripe for a certain kind of fan to be really really annoying. I also remember during the glass onion press tour when Edward Norton would always say in interviews that he thought Daniel was more Blanc than Bond in real life and when someone told Daniel about that he was basically like "what the fuck is Ed on about??" which I thought was hilarious. Not to read too deeply into it but I genuinely feel like so much of what he brought to Bond comes from his soul and I always got the sense that his Bond films are deeply personal, which is why they have us out here crying and throwing up. Anyway, thank you for all you have given to the Bond/00Q/Daniel Craig enjoyer community, you are truly a gem <3

I became a Bond fan when I was about twelve and my mother decided moderating film content for a girl about to enter high school was a useless endeavour. Pierce Brosnan was my first Bond. It was the gadgets that hooked me in, mostly, but I grew up after that point watching the films and loving them. Casino Royale was the first one I ever saw in cinema and I'll never forget the tension during that poker game with Le Chiffre. You could really hear the audience's teeth grinding with the stress lol.

I've never really heard any adverse reactions from people when I tell I'm a fan of Bond, but that might be because Daniel Craig's interpretation of the character seems to have lent the films a certain credibility that people aren't as willing to extend to the previous films. At worst, people think it's a bit naff that I like them, which...yeah sure. It probably is! But cringe culture is dead and I am enough of a critical thinker to enjoy problematic or morally ambiguous content without believing any of it should happen in real life. For instance, I think had there been a real public inquiry into intelligence services like M faced in Skyfall, I would probably take the side of the opposition. But it's Bond, so I was cheering M on while she quoted Tennyson.

The best way I can sum my thoughts on Daniel Craig and Bond is to refer to the lovely Ben Whishaw, who said in this interview that Daniel was remarkably clever in the ways he managed to bring the franchise into the twenty-first century, while still being aware of the history of it.

Interestingly, he also said there actually is a lot of Daniel in Bond's character, which is something I was delighted to hear him point out. I mean, Daniel Craig will be the first to admit that he doesn't want to be anything like Bond (see this post for an example and a laugh). Yet, he manages to capture the really vulnerable core of Bond under all that masculine posturing. In the end, Bond has accepted that life isn't all about duty to your country. Love, friendship and family are the things that make you feel steady even when you feel like you're about to tear yourself apart. I can't imagine any previous iteration of Bond managing to carry off that message in a believable way. And I think it happened because Daniel Craig had an incredible, unprecedented amount of creative control over the character.

I'm sure the Knives Out films gave Daniel a wonderful reprieve from having to carry all that literary and film history, but he's so proud of those Bond films, and has said so over and over, even when he's been frustrated with the toll on his body and his personal life. They're great films, and, oddly enough, I think people are only realising it now that his era is over. I hope more people dive into them and see the passion he had for that role, even with all of its ups and downs.

The last thing I'll say is that some fans have a tendency to project their own joys, frustrations and preferences onto actors, assuming that they are, in some way, facsimiles of the characters they play. At the end of the day, Daniel Craig simply doing his job. The characters are brilliant because he is brilliant. It's not real life.

Anyway, I'll continue stanning both Bond and Blanc! Thanks for the ask, friend!

#It has taken me an appallingly long time to get around to this sorry!#add thoughts and opinions if you like #either on the post or in my inbox #james bond #daniel craig #long post

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cuubism · 2 years

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thinking about goncharov and how like. my two main fandoms are the sandman & shadowhunters. and i haven't seen either of them. so really... is goncharov so different

as at least one person who's crossed my dash has said... goncharov is how this site engages with media always 😂

somebody else described it as pure simulacrum, symbol that points only to other symbols and not to any reality whatsoever, which i loved because simulacra and simulation is one of my favorite things

what makes it different is a 'real' show has two layers: 1, canon text, 2, collective fandom interpretation. and goncharov only has the latter. of course people always ask, what makes the text canon anyway? death of the author and so on, every interpretation has validity. how do we differentiate death of the author versus there not being an author at all?

but really, goncharov does have an author. the tumblr fandom is the author. and just because the story isn't truly on film doesn't mean it doesn't exist; it exists, it's been written collaboratively by the fandom, like a giant interconnected web.

what's particularly interesting is how it's been written backwards with analysis and fandom response coming first and narrowing in on a core accepted story. and the format, such as it is - it's some kind of pastiche sort of thing that uses reference and implication as its medium, outlining the missing shape of the thing so thoroughly that the shape itself starts to fill in. like solving a murder by its blood splatter 😂 and it's like, the story is also about tumblr fandom and media criticism more broadly, 'the medium is the message' to reference an overused media studies quote (marshall mcluhan).

because that's how fandom always approaches story - not as one linear defined narrative, but rather, as Michael Sheen put it on twitter once, Endlessly multiplying branches of one ever-growing story tree where it becomes impossible to tell where one story ends and another begins when all overlap with each other and appear momentarily in each other’s stories like the tree is dreaming itself. (I've had that quote saved for ages i love it so much. And yes he was indeed talking about fanfiction)

wow apparently i had thoughts about goncharov

#mare's meandering thoughts that may or may not have validity #goncharov (1973)#anyway read mcluhan and baudrillard too while you're at it XD #ask #anonymous

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ciricesghost · 2 years

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I made a list of reasons why I think TF will off Copia sometime next year, and also reasons why I think he'll be around for longer because I just can't make up my mind. I'm rambling here, I've had this in my drafts for a while and just took notes whenever I thought of something. Most of this is just heavy speculation and probably doesn't make any sense!

OH LAWD IT'S COMIN':

✞ Copia acts paranoid on stage.

✞ Seemingly does things he doesn't have control over, as shown when he fingered the mic stand at a show and then immediately looked shocked at his own actions and stomped away.

✞ Hallucinated the creepy twins for whatever reason.

✞ He's won the second most employee of the month awards. Meaning who's #1? Was he deliberately made #2? Is the next Papa going to be the one that's won most awards?

✞ All Papas get switched out, that's just how it goes. Tobias has said that he'd keep Copia for longer than the other Papas, for 5 or so years. And he has, next year will be the 5 year mark.

✞ Papa IV said all good things must come to an end after the tour. And we all know Tobias is a sucker for double-meanings. He also says something similar in ROTS:

I'll be the shadow, you'll be the light, nothing ever lasts forever, we will go softly into the night

✞ There's been hinting at revival of one of the papas. The band t-shirt portraying Papa I, II & III which they called return of the living dead. Then the FTPTTP music video! Where Terzo really just rises from the dead, dressing into his papal attire and makeup. Terzo's foot also twitched in the Chapter Three video. They probably did this for shits and giggles but it's worth mentioning. I don't really see how he might come back from the dead after literally being beheaded but it's Ghost! So who knows!

✞ The Spillways music video quoting the bible verse. It says “I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul".

✞ The Chapter 13 video. The Saltarian mentions the european summer tour. Lyrics from DATHML; When the summer dies, severing the ties...

The entire song is very soothing and bittersweet. Like Copia is comforting us. He repeats the lyrics I'm with you always. And at the end we're hit with; And all this time you knew, that I would put you through; the darkness at the heart of my love for you.

It's like he's saying that we've always known that one day he'll be gone, but we cared for him anyway. The darkness at the core of his love is the fact that it can never last.

The Saltarian told Copia it's sometimes more sane to remain in bliss. That feels like a hint to the audience to stop worrying about Copia and just tag along for the ride. This message could be taken any way really but I choose to interpret it as an 'enjoy it while it lasts' type of thing.

In that video, we can also see that Copia looks older. His hair is graying. His clothes on tour are also torn and ripped.

✞ The lyrics in Hunter's Moon;

I'm comin', I'm dying to see you one last time together

IT MIGHT NOT BE COMIN' (yet):

✞ Girlboss Imperator really likes him and wants him to succeed. She fought tooth and nail for him to become Papa. It's also heavily implied that she is his mother. She's quite unpredictable and manipulative though so the fact that she's his ma could be either good or bad/make no difference.

✞ Copia possibly knows what might be coming for him. The others didn't, they never expected to be offed (I think?). He thus knows what's at stake, and either makes sure he's still useful and valuable to the clergy, or he just chills out and has fun while it lasts until he inevitably dies (or goes nuts from the pressure).

✞ Tobias has said that he doesn't want to be repetitive (ie maybe not kill off all papas?). And now that we're all actively worrying about Copia and expecting him to die after the tour next year it feels like he might do something we do not expect.

✞ He's a damn good Papa, he's still relatively young compared to the others and there is no known next of kin or otherwise to pass the mic onto.

✞ Somehow this feels important; Papa Nihil was alive during the Papa Slaughter™. He's a ghost now, which may or may not change things in terms of how the lore progresses.

✞ Copia is different from the other Papas. Where the others were from the direct bloodline and got their titles practically handed to them, Copia has actually worked for it and earned it.

✞ There's been some talk of Copia being the antichrist.

✞ I have a feeling Tobias might gonna throw a curveball at us like kill him off just to revive him later. Papa Nihil did it, why not Popia?

✞ Covid stole 2 years of tours and thus potentially stalled the progress they could've made that Tobias is going to make up for now.

✞ They only recently released Impera. The album cycle may take longer to complete than til' next summer. They haven't even done all the songs on tour this year. They'll probably do the European tour and then USA again before any big changes.

✞ Copia will be replaced eventually for sure, but he might not be killed off. He's not Papa by blood. All the others were, and they died thus ending the bloodline, which was the point. Papa Nihil was the last known 'true' Emeritus alive to pass down the genes. Unless peepaw really is Copia's father. Point is that so far there really isn't any known reason so far for him to die just yet.

#am i reading too much into this?#yes #yes i am #please dont take me seriously #papa emeritus iii #papa iv #the band ghost #cardinal copia

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scoonsalicious · 2 months

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Hi! sorry i'm a lil late. but okay i've got nothing much to say yet apart from Josiah needs to get fucking kicked in the throat and flayed alive what a conniving mule. The tears? please, I'd pour acid in those eyes so she's crying for real ..... too much? ANYWAY. good on Bucky for sticking with his word and ignoring that cretin, let's just hope he can keep it going. Other than that, I do have plenty of theories. (honestly, you don't have to confirm or deny these. an emoji reaction would be good for me)

First off, Bucky and Pocket are going on a mission together. SOMETHING is bound to happen. My first thought is, Jerard is going to find a way to insert herself and come on that mission with them. I just know a sabotage is going to happen and then Bucky is going to protect Jussepi and inadvertently leaves Pocket vulnerable, thus gets her hurt. And as I recall, you said something about Pocket being able to forgive his actions but not the aftermath then maybe, he gets all defensive about it again and yada yada and that'd definitely be more hurtful because...sigh, this again? to quote one direction, "circles? we're going in circles?"

Second theory, "Everything was going according to plan" ....right, Jessica, not suspicious at all. I feel like she's truly an undercover Hydra agent tasked to retrieve The Winter Soldier and she's playing the long game by making Bucly trust her and be vulnerable with her and when she manages to snatch him up, i feel like she was going to lure him back to a Hydra facility. But, Bucky being in love with Pocket and never ever thinking about cheating, and now is actively trying to avoid Jonathan, it put a damper on her plans. Becuase as much of a biatch she is, you can't deny that Jude is smart, manipulative and cunning with an evil core and people shouldn't underestimate her because I feel like she's got plenty of things cooking. And maybe her obsession with Bucky is part of it, or she genuinely just wants him to herself, no Hydra included. Either way, I don't think she's stopping any time soon to get what she wants. And well, we already know she's going to do EVERYTHING because she's absolutely batshit insane.

Anyhow, that's all for now. Anxiously waiting for that other show to drop because oh, I feel that storm brewing. You're a great writer and keep doing what you're doing!

— Jnon 🤍

I have nothing additional to add. As always, Jnon, this is perfect. You are perfect. I love you.

#unwanted #unwanted update #jnon report

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butch--dean · 3 months

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I just watched your amv, and can I just come on here and say how talented you are? The symbolism, the PARALLELS! The parallels at the beginning with Dean and Mary + Mary and Jessica were definitely my favorites, almost reminded me of a song quote I heard not too long ago. “The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself” I think! The song you also chose to edit to had a nice vibe as well, because it didn’t clash with the story being told and it just provided a nice background! The different ways you used foreshadowing, alluding to what’s to come, how different stories almost keep repeating themselves, it’s fantastic!

Create more amvs, even if only a few people share them, because trust when I say they’ll always be people out there who’ll click watch no matter how many views it has. ❤️❤️

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank you so much this was such a sweet message to receive!!!!!!! Really truly I appreciate this so much ♥️♥️

That quote is so real - it is always repeating! And I feel like that is one of the core tenants of the show, yknow? Like - they were doomed to repeat history from the very start. Mary was doomed, Jessica was doomed for her involvement, Dean and Sam and cas and everyone was always doomed. They had no hope of breaking free of the cycle while Chuck was still in charge!!!

Anyway thank you again for sending such a kind note 😭 I’m so glad you enjoyed it and cared enough to share your thoughts with me!!!

edited to add: here's the amv anon is talking about <3

#asks #anonymous #this was so sweet #save

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scarlet--wiccan · 1 year

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You didn’t mention Jean as one of Wanda’s friends, which I get (the core of their friendship was in first class and a lot of people aren’t sure if those are 616 canon or not) but do you have any thoughts on their relationship? The thought of them being friends as teens, more or less falling out of touch, but eventually being able to understand each other better than perhaps anyone else because (NSTW quote about reality warmers who are women) is interesting.a

Yeah, unfortunately, I don't think they have much of a relationship in canon. Their interactions are pretty limited after Wanda and Pietro depart from the Brotherhood. It's disappointing, but that's the truth.

I wouldn't assume that First Class is canon, but I think it is technically set in Earth-616. I guess I read it as a retelling that doesn't necessarily contradict hsitory, but isn't very faithful to it, either. I do think that this interpretation of their relationship makes a lot of sense, but, if we're going strictly by the text, Jean and Wanda were not a part of each other's adult lives in any meaningful way. That shouldn't stop them from reconnecting, though, and now would be the perfect time. They're both alive, they're both, you know, stable, and the X-Men are based out of New York rather than Krakoa, so it's not like they couldn't cross paths or just hang out.

Jean wasn't present during the Decimation, and Wanda, to my knowledge, was never involved with the Phoenix stuff until AvX, so they've got a lot to catch up on. I've always wanted to believe that, learning about the Decimation in hindsight, Jean would have empathy for Wanda and be willing to advocate for her or be her ally in any of her efforts to make things right. You know, if Jean was there during Children's Crusade-- if Emma wasn't the only psychic present to take Wanda's testimony-- I bet things would've gone differently.

I will say that, while there are a lot of parallels in the way they are treated by both the narrative and many of their peers, Wanda and Jean's life experiences are not that similar. I think Wanda actually has a lot more in common with Madelyne, although, of course, when you get down to it, Maddy and Jean's stories are very intertwined. Still, Wanda's magical experiences, plus the trauma around motherhood, are much more similar to Maddy's arc, and I think the way Wanda and Maddy have both recently taken full control of the forces which once controlled them is super cool. That said, there have been some hints that the Phoenix is coming back around to Jean, so maybe all three of them will be in that position soon.

Anyways, with the Treehouse, Maddie's Limbo Embassy, and Wanda's Emporium all being in New York, these characters are all accessible to each other in ways they haven't been in a long time. I would love for writers to take advantage of that and give those three women more opportunities to spend time together and help each other out. The stuff about chaos magic and the Phoenix from AvX was kinda silly, but Wanda's ability and warp and distort pretty much any kind of power, not to mention her Nexus abilities, would certainly make her a very useful ally for anybody contending with the Phoenix. Maybe next time Jean is tapping into her higher powers, she'll get in touch with one of her oldest friends.

#and yes I realize the Emporium is not in NYC but the point is it's close and these people all have portals and teleportation.#jean grey #wanda maximoff #madelyne pryor

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struttinevilshroom · 8 months

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Why I love writing

I've been writing reviews for over a year now and my reviews have been scattered all over the internet on various different websites under various different usernames but I think it's time for something a little different. I haven't been writing as much as I would like to because of school and because I'm trying something new... I'm building a website. This website will serve as a home for all of my reviews and I'm trying to learn HTML but it's really difficult so far. I just feel like it's appropriate because I am starting to feel a shift in the way I review things. They're starting to become more personal and more subjective and more my own thing. This is gonna be a big undertaking and will probably only come into fruition years later but I still want to do this. In the meantime, I'm still gonna write reviews for various other sites in order to improve my writing style. I already do writing exercises everyday. I want this to be a more personal sort of thing because I want to explain my writing to the best of my ability. Not that it's difficult to understand or anything like that but I've been thinking about the core philosophy of why I write and I think if you were to take a pickaxe and dig to the very core of everything that I've ever written, you'll find a quote by Franz Kafka. Who's an author that I've been reading recently. One quote by him really resonates with me.

That quote being "I write differently from what I speak, I speak differently from what I think, I think differently from the way I ought to think and so it all proceeds into the deepest darkness" - Franz Kafka

I don't know how to describe the way that this quote resonates with me. I guess it perfectly captures the disconnect in the way I speak and the way I write. I feel more free when I write than when I speak. I've written things that I would never vocalise and I feel that writing has become an art form where I can just lay myself bare and write my heart out. However, there's also the second part of the quote about thinking differently from how I ought to think. It's really sad in the context because Franz Kafka is actually a brilliant writer and people still look to his work today but back then when he was still alive, he believed that he wasn't fit to be a writer and he gave up. I believe he even ordered his friend to burn all of his writing in the case of his death which didn't happen and his work was actually published. I just find it sad because he's one of my favorite authors and his work is so timeless. If you're looking for an old, classic, timeless book, I recommend The Trial and The Metamorphosis which I'm looking to get physical copies of. Anyway for my case, it's not really that sad. "I think differently from the way I ought to", honestly, I never want to think the way that I "ought to" because there's always something to improve on and that drives me. If I ever think the way I ought to think, I'll quit, simple as that. What's the point if I'm just going to stay stagnant but the good thing is that it's an unattainable horizon that I can keep working towards but never reach and for some reason that gives me comfort.

I do have another quote but this one's not for the NERDS or the NARCS this one's for the GAMERS. Listen up, Gamer Nation, this is a quote from a video game. This quote is Metal Gear Solid 2's ending speech, so read it in your best Solid Snake voice.

"Life isn't just about passing on your genes, we can leave behind much more than DNA, through speech, music, literature and movies... what we've seen, heard, felt... anger, joy and sorrow... these are the things that I will pass on. That's what I live for. We need to pass the torch and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light. We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with. The human race will probably come to an end sometime and new species may rule over this planet. Earth may not be forever but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can. Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing." - Solid Snake

You know, I used to think "what am I gonna leave behind" the thought that I wouldn't have anything of note to leave behind is scary but maybe I can leave my reviews as a trace of the past. Some of my reviews are messy and unstructured but I want our children to read our messy and sad history by its light. This quote reminds me that what we do has an impact on people. What we make can move and speak to people and that's art. It was only just recently when I felt the impact that my writing had on others. I wrote a review that I am really proud of about Pikmin 4 and my friend, who is a massive Pikmin fan said that he was smiling ear to ear while reading it. On the exact same day that I wrote that review, I gave my favorite teacher a letter that I wrote to express my appreciation. On that day at almost the exact same time, I felt the impact that my writing had on people. I want my writing to make people smile and feel appreciated in a way that I couldn't in spoken word. I love that feeling and I know it may be corny but I hope whatever I write continues to impact people like that.

Anyway, I guess this is a good time to talk about my plans for the future. My website is still a ways away but I will reveal a few plans that I have in the works. I have a list of over 40 movies which I consider to be all timers or basically 5 star films and I'm gonna review them all and talk about why these movies speak to me. I also have a big Better Call Saul review in the works, after I finish watching Better Call Saul, I wanna do a full character analysis on him and it's gonna be great. Anyway, I don't exactly have any game reviews in the works because I've been slacking on that regard. Maybe I'll do some sort of a book club thing because I've been reading a lot lately and I need a space to talk about those books. Those are all the plans that I feel comfortable revealing for now.

To end this off, I just want to thank some people. This is a bit of a call back to some steam reviews because I always used to thank the developers as if they were reading my reviews which is cringe and corny but endearing. I feel it's only sincere to thank the people that I know personally first and then thank the people who inspire me. So for starters, I wanna thank my friend who goes by Nitro in most online spaces. He's a real one for reading almost all of my reviews, even the really long ones and then still encouraging me to write more and he is not a big reader so I appreciate him putting himself through such turmoil for my sake. Next I wanna thank my science teacher, she's the teacher that i wrote a letter to and she's not gonna read this but she did help me realize the impact that my writing could have on people so she deserves a shoutout. Then we have my debate coach who I've learnt a lot from even though I only joined the team a few weeks back. He's just really wise and he taught me to always pursue wisdom, pursuing wisdom is the heart of debate. You pursue wisdom by reading and interpret that wisdom by writing. I don't know, the debate club at my school just means a lot to me. I love going there and it feels like, even if only for an hour, I belong in the school. Moving on to the people that I don't know but do inspire me, first of all, Transparency on youtube. Transparency is a youtube channel with video essays made by two people and I asked them for some advice at some point and they actually responded to me so I appreciate that. Other than that, they make good videos about games and I appreciate their insight. Then, I wanna thank Hazel and her videos aren't for everyone, I mean they're esoteric and niche but I love the way she writes her videos, I remember sometime last year, I was watching one of her videos with earphones and I felt a tiny prick in my temple and I was perplexed as to what pricked me and then I realized that her writing was so sharp that it pricked me. All that to say her writing is sharp and she's witty. I also want to thank Tim Rogers of Action Button dot Net because his review of Boku No Natsuyasumi is the best video ever made and he is my biggest writing inspiration. His review of Boku No Natsuyasumi is 6 hours long but if you love my reviews, then there is no word in the English language to describe how you will feel about his reviews. Lastly but certainly not least, I want to thank you, the reader on whatever corner of the internet this post finds itself on, I want to thank you for reading it, whether you want to read my future reviews or think this was garbage and I'm pretentious, I still want to thank you either way.

Anyway, stay tuned and I'll catch you in the next one...

#writing #review #actual post #dear diary #diary entry #update #tim rogers #metal gear solid 2 #franz kafka

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