#but this has already taken me four hours so im posting it anyway

[kumezyzo]

hii i love your work and i have a request- can you do where hes dating a famous singer instead of streamer? and like hes reacting to their music video like how he did with until i end up dead? it would be even cooler if he was in the video. i was thinking maybe the artist could release a music video like the song lie by nessa barret (aka a wedding) and the dreamteam is somewhere in there. This part isnt nessacary and you can make it inspired of any artist or mv you wanft but i feel it would be so cute when hes like "omg thats me" like he did with the until i end up dead mv!!

its taken me so long to come up with an mv idea that would work for this and that i could make so this wasnt a blurb (cause this was such a detailed ask) but thank you so much for requesting this!!! and i really hope this lives up to your expectations lol

i wrote this as if the song is like a breakup song and being hung up on an ex. and essentially, its flashbacks to when they were all cute or whatever, and then theres parralles to the actual breakup and after. bf!sap acting as the ex bf in all the scenes.

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

after your newest music video went up, bf!sapnap got a while bunch of requests to watch it.

"should react to yn's new music video!' he read the chat out loud

"guys ive heard the song like a million times already," he protested but already opening a new tab and going to youtube.

'you're in yn's new mv!!!' a donation read out loud.

he smiled at the monotone voice and started playing the video.

bf!sapnap who sings along to the song as it plays, admiring you everytime you were on the screen. but seeing as its quite literally your music video, your on the screen 80% of the time.

bf!sapnap who defends you the second someone says your music is bad.

bf!sapnap who sees himself in the music video and finds himself commenting on it.

"oh my god! thats me!!" "woah, that guys kinda hot..." "i would never treat my girlfriend like that"

"damn, shes hot." "wow she looks so good there" "guys, thats my girlfriend" "holy shit, peach, if youre watching this, text me"

bf!sapnap who also talks about how attractive he finds you the whole time.

'turn that shit off' a donation read out loud.

"shut the fuck up," he said looking at his chat. "fuck off my stream, im watching my girls music video."

he rolls his eyes as he sees the one rude comment in the sea of random other ones. aka supportive bf

bf!sapnap who has almost three hours worth of behind the scenes videos on his phone (it was a four day shoot).

its mostly videos of you and him goofing around. some videos of you doing things for the mv. some of them of him on set. some/most of them being of you guys fucking in your dressing room...

bf!sapnap who posts the behind the scenes (the appropriate ones and the shorter ones obvi) and people love them so much.

aka edits arise of you two being cute. and of you two looking so cool/hot.

its shorter than i expected.... -nony

#sapnap #anon #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #dteam #sapnap x y/n #sapnap fluff #sapnap x artist reader #sapnap x reader fluff #bf!sapnap #dream team fluff #dteam fluff #fluff #asks

[twinkletalon]

Days by days, tell me, tell me. 

So tell me which way to go. 

#jj project #jjp fanart #im jaebum #park jinyoung #scene redraw kinda #is putting the lyrics to a song in the caption still cool? #im super late to the jjp comback but i had to draw this scene #school got in the way #still figuring out how to use krita too #guess who just found the blur tool #but backgrounds are hard #the lineart's bad because its technically the sketch layer #but this has already taken me four hours so im posting it anyway

[latetaektalk]

after i left you | jjk

“when you decided to meet up with taehyung for dinner to reconnect, you didn’t expect to see jungkook, your ex, on a date with his current girlfriend and not to mention, end up fake dating taehyung.”

genre: exes! AU, fake dating! AU, enemies to lovers-ish! AU, unrequited feelings-ish! AU, angst, fluff

pairing: jungkook x female reader 

word count: 38.985 

warnings: cursing, reader feels very guilty in this one, alcohol consumption (nothing major/bad though)

playlist: happier - ed sheeran, just asking - aquilo, my tears ricochet - taylor swift, one last time please - dodie

a/n: uh, super nervous to post this because ive never written so much before, but i had a ton of fun and i hope you guys enjoy it! if you guys have any problems reading, liking or reblogging it, please let me know! im not sure if tumblr can handle such a word count, so id appreciate it if you guys would tell me if something doesnt work and ill figure it out! anyway, hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this!

The restaurant Taehyung picked was big but cozy. It was one huge room that stretched out further than your eyes could see. It was soaked in golden light, soaked in warmth and comfort. Everything was made out of wood, dark rich wood, and it smelled like home-cooked food. The smell wafted through the entire place. 

“‘Let’s all have dinner,’ they said, huh?” Taehyung said and looked around, no Yerim or Yoongi in sight. You laughed and shrugged.

“Yeah, sucks that they had to cancel last minute, but next time, we’ll be all together,” you said and skimmed the hard edges of the menu in your hands.

“Yeah, I know, but I thought we’d find the time once you returned,” Taehyung sighed and put down his menu with a frown.

“Definitely sucks,” you agreed and put down your menu as well. “But I’m happy that at least you and I could find the time.”

Taehyung and you smiled at each other and you could still barely believe it, could still barely believe that you were not only back in your hometown, but sitting in front of Taehyung and having dinner with him. It was all very surreal to you, and even though barely half an hour had passed since you had first seen Taehyung again in four years, things felt like they had never changed. There was no awkwardness, no long silences or weird tension between you. Both of you had simply picked up from where you left off. 

“Tell me, Y/N, how was America?” Taehyung asked and plopped his elbow onto the table before letting his chin fall into his open palm and tilting his head to the side. You mirrored him and let out a hum, the golden light pouring down both of your faces and bringing out the corners of your features.

Taehyung’s hair had grown out a lot since you had last seen him. In fact, it was permed now. And even though both of you had finished puberty by the time you had left, he seemed to have gotten a little taller. He had somehow grown into his face and turned into one gorgeous man with fluffy and luscious locks.

“Well, exhausting. I was always studying and pulling all-nighters, and it was so hard at times. The homesickness certainly didn’t make it any easier,” Taehyung smiled, “but it was- it was so worth it.”

“That’s great,” he said and you knew he meant it, knew he was genuinely happy for you. You beamed at him. “You really enjoyed it, didn’t you? America, I mean.”

“Yeah, it was- it was great, truly,” you said with a nod and remembered all of the memories you had made over the past four years. “It was really what I needed. Really the time of my life.”

Taehyung’s smile widened into a grin and you let your words sink in, sink in for him and for you as well. It was in the silence that you felt the guilt come back, hit you square in the face and leave you breathless.

You leaned back and grabbed the edge of the table. You lowered your head and Taehyung perked up, feeling the shift the moment it had happened.

“I’m sorry.”

Taehyung raised his brows at you and let his hand fall onto the table as he leaned forward, trying to see what you were apologising for.

“I- I feel bad,” you started up again and tucked a strand behind your ear. “It sounds like I didn’t enjoy being here and-”

“No, Y/N, don’t,” Taehyung reached over the table and grabbed your hand, taking it into his, “There’s no need to apologise. You worked your butt off to win that scholarship and fulfilled your dream. That’s great.”

“Yeah, but I abandoned you guys,” you mumbled and shrugged. You pulled away your hand, but Taehyung was quick to tighten his grasp, quick to put his other hand over yours and squeeze your hand. 

“Stop saying that, Y/N,” Taehyung shook his head at you, eyes drilling holes into your head as you continued to stare down at your lap, “You didn’t ‘abandon’ us. That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Taehyung pulled on your hand and waited for you to raise your head, and when you did and met his gaze, he offered you an even bigger grin than before.

“You don’t have to feel bad for going to America to go study,” he said and tilted his head to the side, bangs tickling his eyes. “We were and still are genuinely happy for you.”

“He wasn't.”

Taehyung’s hands tightened around yours at your words, and he pressed his lips into a thin line, giving you a look that had you shifting in your seat and shrugging in defense.

He hadn’t been happy for you at all when you had told him you had won a scholarship to go study in America. You had expected hugs and cheers, but received cold stares and bitter words instead. When the summer had neared its end and you had to leave, he hadn’t been there. Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi had all hugged and kissed you goodbye, had wished you the best, but he, the person you had wanted to be with you right now the most, had been by your side.

You were eighteen, barely an adult, when you had boarded the plane to America without him kissing your forehead and wishing you the best, and you never forgot that, forgot just how unhappy and miserable you had made him.

“He wasn’t,” you repeated like it excused your words in any way. Taehyung opened his mouth to launch into a speech, a speech you already knew by heart without having heard it a single time. 

“Y/N-”

“This place,” you started and pulled your hand away, gesturing around you. “It’s nice.”

Taehyung blinked at you, obviously contemplating whether or not to allow you to change the subject like that, and you were more than glad when he leaned back into his chair and nodded.

“Yeah, it opened recently,” he said with a smile and you smiled right back at him. Both of you shared a look for a moment and after many years of friendship, there was no need for words, no need for you to thank him for letting you off the hook like that.

“It’s so nice,” you repeated and you barely heard Taehyung’s laugh as you let your gaze wander, taking it all in.

Seemingly every table was filled, and everybody was in their own world. You could hear laughter and shrieks in between the conversations, and a smile stretched across your face. Your eyes softened at the sight of loving couples and you ignored the pulling in your chest, ignored the yearning for what they had sitting deep within you.

“I really like it here,” you said and Taehyung stuck out his chest a little. A smirk was painted on his lips and pride was glimmering in his eyes. You chuckled a little and let yourself sink into the chair before your gaze travelled through the room once more.

The restaurant seemed to be frequented by a lot of couples, and you understood why. This place reminded you of the restaurants Jungkook would take you to from time and time again to show you how much he appreciated you, one of those restaurants he had taken you to when he had confessed to you and told you he loved you for the first time.

“This is totally a place for him.”

You said it without meaning to, said it without thinking, and when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, you both shared a knowing gaze. Panic wanted to flush through your chest—because was Taehyung going to circle back to your previous words?—but then, he smiled at you and nodded.

“Yeah, totally is. It’s his favourite restaurant actually,” Taehyung said and you weren’t surprised. “He dragged all of us out here on opening day.”

“Opening day?”

“Yeah, can you imagine this place on opening day? This place had been hyped up months before its opening. So, it was fucking insane when we got here. He almost got into two fistfights that day,” Taehyung laughed and sighed at the memory.

“The hostess couldn't find his reservation and he insisted that he had made one like months ago. Yeri literally had to talk him down. And when we finally got to our table, he almost fought Yoongs because he said he didn’t like it here,” Taehyung told you and shook his head with a grin plastered on his lips. “Can you believe?”

“Honestly?” You raised your brows and you didn’t answer your question because Taehyung and you exploded into more laughter. “Shit, he hasn’t changed at all, has he?” 

“He is dumber now,” Taehyung smiled and scrunched up his nose. “Definitely still an idiot.”

You nodded and this time when you both fell silent, there was no guilt building up inside of you, no coming back to the surface. 

“How is he?” you asked and Taehyung puckered his forehead. He tapped the table with his one hand while he ran his other one through his fluffy locks.

“He’s,” Taehyung hesitated and your heart stopped in your chest, but then you saw the smile pulling on the corners of his lips, “good.” Taehyung paused a moment before nodding. “He’s good. Recently finished up his studies and started his first job. He’s enjoying it.”

You smiled.

“That’s great. I’m happy for him.”

You meant it, meant it because he had deserved so much more, deserved better. When you had last seen him, he and you had been wrecks, crying and sobbing and angry messes, and it was great to hear that he wasn’t anymore, great to hear that he was doing better now. 

“Is he, you know, uh seeing-” you trailed off as the rest of the question got stuck between your teeth like chewing gum, but Taehyung knew what you wanted to ask. He gave you a look, a look you weren’t sure how to interpret. There seemed to be pity and almost sorry in his eyes.

“Yeah, he is.”

You expected that answer, expected it because someone as amazing and great and funny as he was more than desirable but it still hurt to hear. You couldn’t stop your chest from tightening and your heart from sinking a little deeper inside you, shrinking in itself. You wanted to tell yourself to stop, wanted to tell your heart to not be like that because you had no right to feel like that, had no right when you had been the one leaving him. 

He had every right to move on, had every right to forget about you and be happy with someone else. But your heart simply couldn’t help itself from clenching in your chest like you were the one that had been left behind and not him.

“Wait, where are you?”

Taehyung and you snapped your head around when the girl next to you suddenly spoke up, thinking both that she was talking to you. Neither of you had taken notice of her before or looked at her when the hostess had led you two to your table. Until now, she had been typing away on her phone, waiting in silence, but right now, she had her phone pressed against her ear, definitely talking a little too loudly.

“What do you mean you can’t find parking? There’s a huge parking lot right next to the restaurant.”

Taehyung and you locked eyes when it clicked with both of you that she was not talking to you two. You shared knowing looks, remembering the same thing.

“He never found parking either,” Taehyung mumbled and both of you leaned closer to one another, not wanting for the girl to hear that you had eavesdropped on her conversation. Smiles played on your lips and you snickered. 

You recalled the many times you had sat in his car and cursed at him for running another red light because you were late, again, because of him, recalled the many times you would sit in a restaurant on your own or in the mall, waiting for him with your phone pressed to your ear as he assured you over and over again that he had planned in time for traffic, but that it was just worse than ever before.

“And he always had his excuses,” you snorted and shook your head. “‘There was a fire, so I had to turn around and take this huge detour.’ I think there was a fire somewhere every other week.”

Taehyung laughed and grinned at you. “Oh, but I think ‘Someone dropped a bunch of mirrors on the road and when I tried to turn around, I couldn’t because there were a bunch of cars, so I had to wait until they cleaned up the road.’ is still my favourite.”

“Ugh, he’s such a drama queen, I swear,” you groaned and leaned back into your chair. 

“I have no idea how you dated him for most of high school. Like he’s so exhausting sometimes,” Taehyung mumbled and shook his head.

“Oh, you spent just as much time as I did with him,” you said with a roll of your eyes and Taehyung wiggled his finger at you.

“I didn’t date him though. There’s a difference,” he argued and you dismissed his words with a quick shake of your head before crossing your arms in front of your chest at a certain memory.

“Does he still insist on having his cucumbers diced and not sliced because sliced cucumbers don’t taste as good?” 

“Please, don’t remind me. Every time I think about that I want to stop being friends-”

“Wait, where are- oh, I can see you already,” the girl next to you said into her phone and Taehyung and you froze at her interruption. Both of you looked at each other and before either of you could get back to your conversation, you were interrupted once more.

“I’m so sorry, but I swear the traffic was just out of this world today.”

Your eyes grew wide at his voice and your heart plummeted into your stomach when you heard his voice. You recognised it immediately, would have recognised it even if you had been deaf. You could never not recognise it, could never forget his voice. Your heart thumped in your chest, thumped painfully, as you turned your head and your eyes landed on him and his eyes landed on you.

His lips parted the slightest bit as he looked at you, frozen, and he gripped the back of the chair as his brows furrowed together at your sight.

“Y/N?”

Your name slipped off his tongue and confusion etched onto his face. Hearing him say your name sent your heart into a frenzy, had the panic bulldoze you away and your brain short circuit. The world went silent, the conversations all around you faded away and left you in silence with him. Time seemed to stand still as he and you looked at each other, desperately trying to process what was happening right now.

“Jungkook.”

His name felt dry and heavy on your tongue, felt like cement, felt like something you had been wanting to say forever now, but had avoided saying because you knew you had lost the right to say it and therefore had never said it again, until now. Until now when he was standing wide-eyed in front of you.

“Wait, what’s happening right now?” 

The question barely registered with you as you continued to stare at Jungkook, continued to stare at the boy that had once meant the world to you, continued to stare at the boy that you once had the right to calling him your boyfriend, continued to stare at the boy that still had your heart in such a tight grip that he managed to send it into a frenzy and have panic pumping through your veins merely with his sight.

Jungkook had changed. Now, he was taller and stood out in this crowded restaurant, towered over every other guest. Jungkook demanded attention from everyone, from you, and you were willing to give it to him because how could you not?

His hair had grown out, was longer now than you had ever seen it before and you wanted to comment on his tattoos when you saw them, juxtaposing his golden and warm skin. From the day you had met Jungkook, he had been talking about all of the tattoos he had wanted to get once he was old enough, and you almost couldn’t believe that he had actually finally gotten some. You wondered if he had to go behind the back of his parents or if they gave him their approval since he was an adult now.

“Uhm, babe?”

It was the word ‘babe’ that had you snapping out of it, that had the world start turning again and the time unfreezing, conversations returning to their original volume. It was the word ‘babe’ that had your eyes tearing away from Jungkook and to the girl sitting next to you instead. Her brows were raised and her gaze was drilling into Jungkook’s as he slowly pulled himself together too.

For the first time, you actually looked at the girl, actually gave her some of your attention. Until now, she had just been the girl sitting at the table next to you, been the girl typing away on her phone, been the girl having a conversation a little too loudly, but now, she was the girl who had waited for Jungkook, was the girl who had called Jungkook ‘babe’.

Now, she was the girl who was seemingly Jungkook’s girlfriend.

Jungkook sank down in his chair, but the confusion never left his face. His eyes stayed on you before his gaze wandered to his left, meeting Taehyung’s. When he locked eyes with him, Jungkook’s whole face dropped once more, eyes growing bigger and wider than they were before.

“Taehyung?” Jungkook almost yelled and drew the attention of some people around you, but none of you could muster up the energy to give them an apologetic smile. 

“Hi, Kook,” Taehyung managed to cough out and filled the awkwardness and silence with it. Jungkook crashed against the back of his chair with a thud as he gazed into nothing, brain desperately trying to process this.

Taehyung and you exchanged glances, both of you not knowing what to do or to say. This wasn’t what either of you had prepared for. Both of you had only signed up to have a nice dinner and catch up while tiptoeing around the topic of Jungkook and you. You knew you were going to see him again because he was still friends with Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi and so were you, but you just hadn’t thought that you were going to see him today.

“Okay, uhm, babe, could you please explain to me what’s going on right now?” 

For the first time since he had arrived, Jungkook looked at the girl who was most definitely his girlfriend. His eyes were still wide when they met hers and there was a strained smile on her lips as she drilled her gaze into him, demanding some sort of answer from him, but he couldn’t deliver. He opened his mouth, but his throat felt scratchy and dry and so, he could only stare into nothing again.

“I- I need some water,” Jungkook managed to blurt out, reaching across the table to grab her glass of water and gulping it down like he hadn’t drunk something in years. He devoured it in seconds and stared at it with big eyes, mentally cursing at it for not holding more water for him to gulp down. 

Jungkook put down the glass, but he didn’t let go of it and instead held it, tightening his grip around it until his knuckles turned white.

“Okay, uh,” Jungkook started and massaged his temple as he screwed his eyes shut, fighting off the headache that made him think his skull was going to split open. 

“Uh, so,” Jungkook sighed and puckered his forehead before peeling his eyes open and gesturing towards Taehyung. “This is, uh, Taehyung. I- I’ve told you about him, babe, right?”

“Yeah, oh,” the girl next to you perked up and turned her gaze to Taehyung, offering him a genuine albeit tense smile. You couldn’t blame her, this was still very awkward.

“Yes, Taehyung. Hi! I’ve heard so much about you. I’ve been dying to meet you.” Taehyung forced a smile on his lips and it looked genuine, but having known him for so long, you could spot the difference right away. 

“I’m Heejin.”

Heejin.

A pretty name for an even prettier girl. It suited her, suited her to have such a beautiful sounding name. Of course, she did and you almost scoffed, scoffed because your name paled in comparison to hers. Hers had a pleasant ring to it, but yours just sounded off and wrong now. 

“Heejin, yeah, I’ve heard of you too.” Taehyung nodded and extended his hand. She took it and they both shook hands for a moment before she turned to you, her smile still tense, but the genuineness shimmered through.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I know-” Heejin trailed off and looked over to Jungkook for help, but he had his eyes locked with yours. And with that simple look, you knew.

He hadn’t told Heejin about you.

And judging from the way he was slightly shaking his head, he wasn’t planning on doing so just now. Taehyung and you understood immediately, but it had another dose of panic rushing through both of you.

“I’m Y/N,” you offered and extended your hand to Heejin like Taehyung had because this was the polite thing to do, the right thing to do, and for once in your life, you had to do the right thing regarding Jungkook.

“Hi, Y/N. Heejin,” she smiled, taking your hand into her perfectly soft one, and you made sure to smile at her too as you shook her hand. You smiled at her as much as one could smile at your ex’s current girlfriend. “It’s nice to meet you.”

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t nice to meet Heejin, wasn’t nice at all. You wanted to shout it into her face, tell her you already hated her for simply existing and taking your place in Jungkook’s life and heart, but you swallowed all of the bitter and petty words, swallowed your anger aimed at her that was truly only anger at yourself, and nodded.

“Yeah, really nice to meet you, Heejin,” you said and let go of her hand, eyes turning to Taehyung instinctively. He offered you a smile, a smile that had your heart calming down a little, but then your eyes wandered to Jungkook and it sped up again. He sat up straighter and cleared his throat.

“Heejin, here- she’s, uh-” Jungkook stammered and the rest of his sentence refused to come out, leaving him with his mouth open and staring back at you.

“I’m his girlfriend,” Heejin finished with a smile and Jungkook and you locked eyes. It almost looked like he wanted to correct her with the way he sat up, with the way his back straightened out, but he didn’t. He didn’t correct Heejin because there was nothing to correct. And you knew that.

“Yeah, exactly, right,” Jungkook confirmed with a quiet voice and a nod. You tore your gaze away and looked around, looked around the room and stared at anything as long as it meant that you didn’t have to look at him, see him sitting across the girl who was his girlfriend.

You couldn’t bear the sight, couldn’t bear it to see Jungkook here with his girlfriend. You weren’t prepared for this, but you didn’t think that anything could have prepared you for this, for this bitter reality anyway.

“And, so, how do you all-” Heejin didn’t finish her sentence and gestured between all three of you instead. You shared a glance with Taehyung, asking him to say something because you couldn’t right now, couldn’t bring yourself to explain how you all knew each other.

“Uh, well, we all went to high school together. We were all friends back then,” Taehyung said and shifted in his chair to cover up the pitchiness of his voice. Heejin nodded at his words and looked between you all three once more before gesturing at all three of you again.

“Oh, okay, but why was Kook so shocked-”

“Well, it’s been a while since Kook and Y/N have seen each other, right?” Taehyung smiled and you could see the trembling corners of his lips. You nodded in confirmation because Jungkook was still somewhat stuck processing all of this.

“How come?”

“Well, I, uh,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I moved away for college.”

You did. It wasn’t a lie, but it was also not the whole truth either because you moved to America and not to some neighbouring city that was half an hour away. Jungkook raised his brows at you and pursed his lips together, but you refused to look back at him, focusing instead on keeping the smile on your face for Heejin.

“Yeah, it was surprising for Kook to see Y/N, huh?” Taehyung asked and put his hand on his shoulder, and Jungkook looked at him before humming in confirmation and forcing a smile onto his lips.

“Surprising, for sure. Shocking, too.”

You folded your arms in front of your stomach and bit on your lip, trying to ignore the thudding of your heart ringing in your ears.

“Oh, so, this is like you guys reconnecting again?” Heejin asked and you begged her to stop asking any more questions, to stop trying to understand this because, fuck, this was only going to end badly. The truth was ugly and terrible and you didn’t want to face it, didn’t want to look it into the eye, couldn’t face it and look at it, at least not yet.

As much as you wanted to open your mouth and swiftly change the topic, the words were stuck to your tongue like gum stuck to the sole of a shoe. It was helpless.

“Wait, but why wasn’t Kook invited-”

“Well, actually, this isn’t us reconnecting again,” Taehyung interrupted and you turned your head to him. He placed his hand on the table and beckoned for yours, and too confused to use your own brain, you just put your hands into Taehyung’s. Bad decision as it turns out.

“This is actually a date.”

You almost pulled away your hand, but Taehyung was quick to hold onto it and tighten his grasp. Your heart was now beating out of your chest and you were sure everybody could hear it, were sure it was louder than the whole room.

“Y/N and I are dating.”

This time, you didn’t try to pull away your hand. This time, you actually did the opposite and tightened it. In fact, you tightened it so much that your knuckles turned white and Taehyung had to hold his breath to stop the groan from slipping.

“Right, yeah, boy and girlfriend. Super duper in love,” you croaked out with a tight smile before lowering your gaze. What else could you say? 

Jungkook drilled his eyes into your face. You could feel the holes he was staring into you right now, but you refused to look at him, refused to spare him a glance and possibly see his reaction to the revelation that Taehyung and you were supposedly dating. 

Even if it was a lie, an obvious lie, a lie that only needed to be told because Jungkook hadn’t told Heejin about you yet, it still knocked the breath out of Jungkook and had him bending over, still had his face etching into something else, into something unreadable.

“Wait, oh my God,” Heejin squeaked and her hand found her mouth as it split apart into a grin, covering it as her eyes flickered between Taehyung and you. “This is a date? Then-” 

Heejin turned to Jungkook with the most excited smile on her lips before whipping her head back to Taehyung and you.

“This is totally a double date then!”

The shock didn’t wear off for another five seconds, but when it did, you offered Heejin the most convincing smile you could muster up. Taehyung put his hand on yours when you tightened it around his other one a little too much, but you didn’t let go.

There was no way out, no revealing this was all a lie anymore and he was to blame. He was the one that had started it and dragged you along.

“I guess,” you said through a tight smile.

The scruffing and scraping of Jungkook’s chair against the hardwood floor when he got up rang loud, painfully loud in your ears and you cringed. He held up the glass of water and only looked at Heejin, but somehow you knew his words were meant to shoot through your heart.

“I’m gonna get you some water, babe.”

There was just something about the summer evening air that always managed to relax you, managed to calm you down and ground you again. 

The warm breeze blew through your hair and filled your lungs with much-needed oxygen, oxygen you had been craving for since you had first seen Jungkook again. He had taken your breath away, stolen it and left you dealing with the agony and pain with finding it again as you desperately tried not to suffocate.

The last hour had flown by you, had passed you in a blur. As much as you tried to, you couldn’t recall what you had talked about, couldn’t even recall what you had ordered and what your dish had tasted like. Everything was so hazy. The only thing you knew for sure was that it had taken Jungkook far too long to fill up a glass of water and that when he had finally returned, there was a glass of water in his one hand and a glass of whiskey in his other one.

At one point, you had gotten up with an excuse of needing to make a call and before anyone could protest, you had fled out of the restaurant. You did contemplate taking a cab and going home, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to unlock your phone—not to mention, leave without a word.

Going inside was just as difficult though, so you stayed outside, and simply let the view dawn on you. Because a restaurant like this, of course, had to be located on a small hill that overlooked the city, had to have the most gorgeous view.

Your hometown wasn’t magical, wasn’t pretty at all, but with the sun slowly dipping below the horizon, the warm sunshine turned the cracked streets into golden rivers and the lines and lines of cars waiting at the red lights into boats. The street lamps decorating the cracked streets resembled fireflies, buzzing and bright.

For a moment, you forgot, forgot about the world around you, forgot about the tension poisoning the air inside the restaurant and making every breath more and more unbearable and deadly, forgot about the web of lies you were slowly sinking into, forgot about the aching of your heart every time you looked at Jungkook.

For a moment, you forgot that Jungkook and you weren’t dating anymore.

“You’re dating Tae now?”

You jerked around at the question, eyes finding him instinctively. Your breath hitched in your throat and you opened your mouth to answer, but no sound would escape you.

Jungkook stood there, a few metres away from you, with his hands in his pockets and his head tilted to the side, and, God, was he just gorgeous, so breathtakingly gorgeous, beautiful, pretty.

Even though his tone was light and almost playful, his face was hard. Jungkook looked at you for another moment before his gaze wandered to the view in front of him. His eyes were cold, cold enough to turn the golden rivers into ice, cold enough to freeze the boats, cold enough to kill the fireflies.

“You know I’m not. He just panicked. Tae’s always been a shit liar,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the situation and cut down on some of the tension, unfreeze the world, but you fell short and failed miserably. Jungkook let a smile pull on the corners of his lips, but it was gone within a second.

You were frozen when he started closing the distance between you two. When he finally stopped next to you, there was a noticeable gap between you, a gap big enough to have your heart wrenching and twisting in your chest. 

Fuck, this was what Jungkook and you had become, huh? Two people that couldn’t even stand close enough to each other without that awkward and horrible gap between you.

There used to be a time when there was no gap, no space, used to be a time when you were always in each other’s arms, used to be a time when the air wasn’t cold and the world frozen. But there also used to be a time where you two could only smile and grin at the other, used to be a time where there were no hardened faces and cold gazes.

There used to be a time that was just Jungkook and you together.

“Yeah, that’s a fucking mess,” Jungkook laughed humorlessly and you didn’t join him, didn’t try to. “How are we gonna fix that?”

“I don’t think we need to,” you said with a frown and turned to him for a moment, but he didn’t reciprocate your gaze. You got the message and turned to face the city again, looking out like you hadn’t been doing that for the past minutes.

“I doubt we’re gonna see each other again, right? I mean-” you trailed off and shrugged, rocking on the balls of your feet as you struggled to finish your sentence.

“I mean, I would like to if that was okay and fine with you, if you’re ready for that, but I understand if you’re not.”

Jungkook turned to you, blinking at you for a second before ultimately turning away and looking out again.

“Yeah, no, you’re right,” he chuckled dryly and you thought you could even hear a scoff. “Are you going back? Leaving to continue your adventure? Is this just a pit stop before you’re off to continue your adventure?”

The words stung, cut into you and your heart clenched at them. A cold breeze blew through you, gutted you, and you were left shivering and with goosebumps covering your entire body. Your throat knotted into a mess, and you wanted to look at Jungkook, see his expression, but you trained your gaze on your frozen hometown, trained your gaze on it like it didn’t shatter your heart to see it like that.

Jungkook had every right, every right to be bitter and cold, but it didn’t mean it hurt you any less for him to treat you like that, treat you like you hadn’t been each other’s worlds at one point of your life.

“No.” You shook your head, desperately trying to rid your voice of its trembling. “I- I’m staying.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything, didn’t respond, didn’t even react in the slightest way. You thought maybe he hadn’t heard you, but when you dared to peek at him, you saw the way the lines of his face had deepened. He had heard you, loud and clear.

You both drowned in the silence, sank into it, deeper and deeper with each second, and you crossed your arms in front of your chest, tightening with each passing moment.

“Did you stay in touch with the others? Yoongs? Yeri?” 

You shifted on your feet and tucked a strand behind your ear. “No- I mean, we tried, but after like a year or two, we slowly lost contact with each other. We did check on each other every couple months and texted every now and then, but we- we did definitely drift apart.”

“I guess then they were meant to come too, right? Tonight?” 

“Yeah, they were, but they had to drop out last minute. We, uh, always said we were gonna have dinner once I returned,” you mumbled and Jungkook hummed at that, nodding a little. Both of you stayed silent for a while, and even though you wanted to say something, cut into the silence because it allowed you to think and right now, you didn’t want to think, you couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“How long have you been back?”

Your gaze wandered to your feet and you kicked the dirt a little, digging into it with the tip of your shoe.

“Uh, I got back a little over a week ago,” you whispered into the air and tightened your arms around your chest. Jungkook nodded, but he didn’t look at you.

“Why are you back?” Jungkook asked and when you struggled to answer his question, he scoffed. Your silence was telling, said more than you ever could. 

“You came back for a job, didn’t you?”

You didn’t reply, didn’t tell him you hadn’t come back just for a job, but because you had missed home, had missed your family, had missed Taehyung, Yerim, Yoongi and more importantly, had terribly missed him. You had missed everything and everyone here so much you couldn’t even put it into words, but you said none of that, didn’t correct Jungkook.

The wind blew through your hair and the once warm breeze that had filled your lungs with the oxygen you so desperately needed filled your lungs now with sharp and piercing icicles this time. You hugged yourself more, tighter. You tried to warm yourself up, but no amount of hugging yourself was enough to melt the ice in your lungs.

“What are you, uh, doing out here?” you asked and turned a little to Jungkook, eyeing him with a raised brow, but he didn’t reciprocate your gaze this time either.

“Heejin’s cold,” Jungkook answered after a beat of silence, brows knitting together as he kept his focus in front of him. “I’ve got a jacket in my car.”

You hummed and a small smile made its way onto your lips. You totally got it. You were cold too, freezing, in fact, but there was no jacket for you, no Jungkook running out for you to get it and warm you up.

“You still got a whole closet in the back of your car, don’t you?” you asked with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood, but when you turned to Jungkook, your smile fell off.

Instead of flushing red in embarrassment or laughing because of how well you still knew him after all these years, Jungkook stared into your eyes, harsh lines etched onto his face. It wasn’t the kind of stare that had your heart thumping and your throat constricting and kaleidoscopes of butterflies in your stomach flying. No, it was a piercing kind of stare, the kind that had your breath hitching in your throat in the worst way possible and your heart sinking into your stomach.

“Don’t.”

The message was loud and clear, delivered with one simple word, but it was enough, enough for it to click in your mind. You didn’t try to catch your heart as it sank deeper and deeper inside you, as it sank down to the ground and came closer and closer to shattering into tiny little pieces that would take you ages to glue together again.

You opened your mouth to say something, but your tongue was a mess in it and the words sat deep in your stomach. It took you two more tries, two more times of you opening and closing your mouth for you to finally unknot your tongue and drag the words to the surface.

“You haven’t forgiven me, have you?”

You worded it like a question, but you knew the answer. It was written all across Jungkook’s face, surrounding him the moment you and he had locked eyes, spilling from his mouth every time he opened it.

Jungkook’s lips tightened into a hard line and his jaw locked up as he eyed you before ripping his gaze away to stare off into the sky and scoff quietly into the air. His hands balled up into fists at his side and his Adam’s apple bopped up and down as he desperately tried to keep his composure. 

You had seen all of this before, had watched him try and fail not to punch the air and let his anger out. Jungkook had done the exact same thing, had made the same face after you had told him you were going to America.

You expected him to blow up in your face, to explode, to burst at all of his seams and rip apart and scream, yell, curse at you because that was what he had done, what he had done the last time, but to your surprise, Jungkook didn’t, didn’t do any of the things you had expected him to.

“Fours years,” Jungkook scoffed, holding up four fingers like you didn’t know just how much four was. “We dated for almost four fucking years.”

You bit on your tongue, heart tumbling and rumbling in your chest like it was about to burst out and fall to her knees and beg for Jungkook’s forgiveness.

“And you left,” Jungkook continued, anger dripping from his words, but his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “Just like that.” 

He snapped his finger and you cringed at the sound. It rang in your ears, pierced through your eardrums.

“Remember our promise?” Jungkook asked you and you could hear his voice wavering and shaking. “Remember our promise of forever?”

You wanted to tell him that you did, that, of course, you fucking remembered your promise of forever. It had haunted you, kept you awake every night, eaten you up and chewed you out every morning and kicked you to the floor every time it slipped your mind the tiniest bit.

“You know how people say that you always learn something from a relationship?” Jungkook asked you and you wanted to beg him not to, not to continue. You couldn’t handle this, couldn’t handle this much longer and you weren’t sure just how long you could keep it together.

“The only thing you taught me was that people are selfish.”

You were sure that you were drawing blood from your tongue now, were sure that your heart was on her knees now and begging, begging for Jungkook to just please forgive her. You thought that was it, thought he was going to scoff at you and walk away, but Jungkook wasn’t quite done.

“I really do hope that you’re right and we won’t see each other again after this.”

If you thought that Jungkook’s eyes were cold before, they were icy and freezing now. They were icy and freezing enough to bring in the new ice age, icy and freezing enough to stop time. Your lungs were shredded by the icicles, ripped apart by them like they were paper, and your heart shattered on the frozen ground, turning into dust before ultimately being dragged away by the wind and into Jungkook’s hands. And he crushed it, crushed the tiny pieces of your heart into powder.

There was no repairing anymore, no glueing the pieces together because there was nothing to repair or glue together or fix in any way or form.

Jungkook didn’t say another word, didn’t spare you a single glance when he turned on his heel and walked away, walked away with your pulverised heart on the ground and your world cold and frozen. The golden rivers didn’t burst through the ice, the boats didn’t unfreeze and start sailing again, the fireflies didn’t come back to life.

It stayed, lingered.

Your world took its time to come back, and you watched it, watched it slowly resemble what it once had been before Jungkook. When you looked at it, however, it wasn’t quite the same. The golden rivers weren’t rivers, but only weak streams, and the boats had shrunk into simple rafts. The fireflies were only humming now, barely illuminating their surroundings.

And this time, when you looked down, you didn’t forget, didn’t forget about the world around you, didn’t forget about the aching of your heart every time you looked at Jungkook.

This time, you didn’t forget that Jungkook and you weren’t dating anymore.

This time, you almost suffocated.

By the time you had reached your table, you slumped into your chair, falling into it with wobbly knees, defeated and panting. Taehyung and Heejin were too wrapped up in a conversation to really take notice and Jungkook, well, Jungkook did the thing he had grown to excel this evening, staring into nothing.

There was a jacket around Heejin’s shoulders, hugging her form and it took you one single glance to know. One glance was enough to prompt you to reach for your glass of wine and down it. The wine burned your tongue and your throat on its way down, and it was what you needed.

Because the jacket wasn’t just any jacket. It was the jacket you had bought for Jungkook with the money you had gotten for your 17th birthday, was the jacket he had called his favourite, was the jacket you had worn as much as he had, was the jacket both of you had used as a blanket when you had held a film marathon the day before school started again, was the jacket you had worn when you had told him you were going and he had demanded back from you.

And now, Heejin was wearing that jacket.

“You okay, sweetie?” 

You looked up and stared straight into Taehyung’s face. His brows were raised and you could feel Heejin’s eyes on you too. And you almost frowned at him and questioned the ‘sweetie’, but then it hit you again. You were dating Taehyung.

“Yeah, uh, I just had a shitty phone call,” you dismissed quickly with a wave of your hand, realising that you definitely shouldn’t have one-shotted your wine like that. “It’s fine. I’m just a little tired from talking.”

Heejin nodded at your words and seemed happy with the answer, but Taehyung’s eyes stayed on you for a few more seconds. He could read between the lines, could piece together what had happened outside.

“What were you talking about?” you asked, gaze finding Heejin because looking at her was easier than looking at Taehyung. 

“Oh,” Heejin placed her hands on your armrest and a frown settled on her face, “we were talking about films. Did you know that Taehyung has never watched ‘Titanic’ before?”

Your eyes wandered to Taehyung who had put on a smile and was shaking his head at Heejin’s words, but you could see that he wanted to question you, ask you what had happened outside.

“You haven’t?” you asked, trying to change the subject from you to him.

“The only film I haven’t watched yet.”

“Can you believe?” Heejin said it like it was a big deal and to her, it seemed to be. Her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes were blown out as she looked at you, obviously expecting for you to react the same way, thinking you were going to be as appalled as she was by the fact that Taehyung had yet to watch ‘Titanic’.

Maybe if you were in a better mood or maybe if Jungkook wasn’t sitting literally an arm’s reach from you or maybe if Heejin wasn’t his current girlfriend right now, you would play along, act appalled and criticise Taehyung for never having watched ‘Titanic’, call him a film illiterate even though you haven’t watched it yourself yet.

“I mean, I’ve also never-”

“Do not finish that sentence, Y/N,” Heejin cut in and while everything was in good fun, you couldn’t help but feel miffed and weirded out by her words. You two didn’t know each other and acting like you did was, well, weird to say the least.

But Heejin didn’t pick up on your tightening smile and slight raise of your brows, too busy acting appalled to notice any of that.

“Okay, that’s it. It’s decided.” Heejin clapped into her hands and looked at Jungkook to grab his attention. “I’m hosting a film night at my place next week. I can’t walk this Earth knowing that you two have never seen the masterpiece that is ‘Titanic’. It’s a must, a cult classic.”

Your eyes locked with Taehyung’s first and he had the same panicked look on his face before he turned to Jungkook, but you avoided his general direction, not wanting to look at him.

“Wait, no, babe, you can’t just host a film night,” Jungkook jumped to argue with Heejin and you swallowed.

“I really do hope you’re right and we won’t see each other again after this.”

“Why not?” Heejin asked with a tilt of her head and blinked at Jungkook as he stammered for a reason.

“Because- you just can’t. That’s not how this works.” A deep line formed between Jungkook’s brows and Heejin as she frowned at his unconvincing argument.

“What do you mean it’s not how this works? If you wanna host a film night, you ask people if they are down for it and host it. I just did that.”

Taehyung and you looked at each other, both deciding to stay silent. Not only was this the most that Jungkook had contributed to this ‘double date’ so far (without counting your conversation you had had with him outside, of course), but it didn’t seem like either of your places to chime in.

“No, babe, you announced you were going to have a film night and essentially demanded them to be there,” Jungkook said and Taehyung and you shared another glance. Heejin furrowed her brows and a pout formed on her lips. She wasn’t taking this nearly as serious as Jungkook was, but it seemed to dawn on her that he was.

“I don’t see where the problem is, babe. I thought you guys were all friends. Isn’t a film night a great way to reconnect then?”

Jungkook opened his mouth to argue against her, but he couldn’t come up with something to say. He wanted to tell Heejin that reconnecting with you was at the bottom of his list of things he wanted to do right now, wanted to tell her that you weren’t just an old friend of his, but his first love, the girl who had meant the world to him for years, the girl who had taken his heart and kept it before deciding it and he simply weren’t enough and shattering his heart, breaking it into dust and leaving him having to pick up the pieces again. 

You were the girl who had haunted him every hour of the day ever since you had left.

“Isn’t it great that we found a couple that’s cool and our age? We can do so much stuff together. Also, Taehyung did say you were all friends once, right? And Taehyung here is still your friend. I really don’t see the problem here. Am I missing something?”

And again, Jungkook was left processing Heejin’s words, prompting Taehyung to jump in.

“Yeah, no, we were friends and, yeah, Kook and I still are friends.” A nervous smile played on his lips as Taehyung shot you a glance, a glance you could barely meet. There was a moment where Heejin was just waiting for any of you to say something, a moment where neither Jungkook nor you met his gaze. It was at that moment that Taehyung made the decision.

“Next week you said?”

By the time you finally step out of the restaurant, the sun had made its way back home and fallen asleep, leaving the golden stream and rafts and fireflies to the moon. 

“Y/N!” You turned around at the call of your name and watched Heejin jogging towards you, hands reaching for your wrists. “Next week, right? Promise me. Next week.”

She smiled right into your face, smiled one of those genuine and big and beautiful smiles, one of those smiles that could charm anybody, and that included you.

“Yeah, next week,” you said and nodded. Heejin’s hands squeezed your wrists and her lips split apart into a grin. With a quick turn of her heel, she was facing Jungkook, who had come to a stop behind her with Taehyung to his left.

“Oh, it’s gonna be great,” she cheered and took hold of Jungkook’s hands now, squeezing as she jumped around him. The displeased look, which had etched onto his face when Heejin had declared this to be a double date and deepened when Taehyung agreed to the film night, slipped away. 

Jungkook couldn’t resist her, couldn’t resist Heejin and for the first time in four years, you saw a smile spread across his lips.

Fuck.

“This was great,” Taehyung cut in before Jungkook could lean in for a quick kiss because he always did, always leaned in for a quick kiss whenever his heart pounded a little too much in his chest, and it definitely did, definitely did pound a little too much just now.

Jungkook and Heejin looked at Taehyung and once again, you froze up when he took your hand into his. The fact that you two were dating slipped your mind again and again throughout the night.

“Yeah, definitely was,” Heejin agreed and interlaced her fingers with Jungkook’s, but unlike with Taehyung and you, it was normal for them to hold hands, second nature. “Right?”

She nudged Jungkook with her elbow and he looked at Heejin, looked at her like he wanted to disagree. Maybe it was because it was rude to disagree and say that one hated the night or maybe it was because Jungkook’s heart melted in his chest seeing Heejin looking at him like that, but a second smile found its way onto Jungkook’s lips.

“Sure was.”

Jungkook said it looking at Heejin, gazing into her sparkling eyes, and you wanted to look away, but you couldn’t, couldn’t because they were like a car accident, but the most beautiful and at the same time, ugliest and most painful car accident this world had ever seen. 

Heejin and Jungkook were in love, in love with each other.

“Right, definitely,” Taehyung cut in, breaking up Heejin and Jungkook as he drew everybody’s attention to him. You squeezed his hand a little tighter.

“We’ll text, yeah?” Taehyung continued and Heejin nodded at his words, beaming as she let go of Jungkook’s hand. You wanted to grab her by her shoulders and tell her not to, not to ever let Jungkook go, but then you realised that she wasn’t actually letting go of him, wasn’t letting go of him the way you had let go of him.

Heejin stretched out her arms and wrapped Taehyung into a hug, a hug he reciprocated without letting go of your hand, which led to you kind of hugging Heejin too. 

“Goodbye, Tae. It was so nice to have met you,” she said into his ear before turning to you and wrapping you into her arms. “So, so nice to have met you, too, Y/N.”

You also didn’t let go of Taehyung’s hand and neither did he when Jungkook leaned in for the hug. 

“Yeah, nice to have met you, too,” you breathed out, quiet, but it was enough for Heejin to pat you on your back and let go.

“We’ll text,” Heejin said as she stepped back to make space for Jungkook to hug you. He and you locked eyes, both knowing exactly what Heejin was expecting of you two. 

There was this terrible moment of hesitance, and you were ready to throw up a hand and give Jungkook a simple wave, but he leaned forward and stretched out one arm. You leaned forward too with your feet planted metres away from him, which led to a rather awkward half-hug thing, but it was definitely more than both of you could offer, more than anyone could really ask for.

Jungkook patted your back two times, and you frowned because who patted someone’s back twice and only twice? The ‘hug’ didn’t last longer than a second before both of you jumped away from each other.

“That was so awkward,” Heejin chortled and threw her head back, loud and beautiful laughter resounding in the air. Jungkook’s cheeks did what they should have done when you had commented on how he had a whole closet in the back of his car: flush.

“Whatever. We’re old friends, remember?” Jungkook argued and it was definitely the sight of Heejin laughing that had him do what he, again, should have done when you had commented on how he had a whole closet in the back of his car: laugh.

“Anyway, we’ll see each other,” Jungkook mumbled into your general direction before taking Heejin’s hand into his and leading her away from you two, throwing up his hand for a wave. Heejin beamed at Taehyung and you and you mustered up the best and most convincing smile for the last time this night.

“Bye. We’ll be in touch.”

“Bye.”

You didn’t say ‘bye’, too focused on the way Jungkook fixed the jacket that was slipping off Heejin’s shoulders, and when it almost landed in the dirt, your heart dropped. You wanted to catch it, take it and hold it close to your heart because that was your jacket. Jungkook caught it though just in time and you let out a breath.

“Really squeezing my hand here, huh?” Taehyung pressed through his smile and you looked down at your hands, realising only now that your knuckles had turned white. Immediately, you let go.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, face flushing hot. Taehyung simply dismissed it with a smile, but you could see him lightly knead his hand, stretching it to get the blood circulating again.

“It’s fine.” Taehyung tilted his head at you. “I guess you don’t have a car yet, right?” You were about to respond, but he didn’t give you enough time. “I can give you a ride.”

“Yeah, that would be great.” You nodded and Taehyung and you made your way to the parking lot. He held the car door open for you and when you were both strapped into your seats, you turned to him. “You didn’t have anything to drink, right?”

“Nope, been sipping on my water the whole night,” he chuckled as he put the keys into the ignition, slowly pulling out of the parking lot. You nodded and sank a little into the seat. The tension that had been sitting in your shoulders and in every single one of your joints slowly escaped you and you let out a sigh.

You typed your address into Taehyung’s phone, Google Maps doing the rest, and for a few minutes, both of you simply drove in silence, enjoyed it. The night had been hard on both of you, and you two were definitely ready to jump into your beds and go to sleep. The silence was exactly what you needed right now, at least you thought that was what you both needed.

“What happened outside?”

You should have expected him to ask because, of course, he would, but it still had you turning your head to him and eyes growing wide. Taehyung met your gaze and you put your hands together in your lap, thumbs rubbing against one another.

“Well,” your feet pressed into the ground, “he, uh, asked me if I was gonna stay here and if we all kept in touch. And,” your voice quivered only the tiniest bit, but Taehyung noticed, “how long I’ve been back and everything.”

You shrugged. “The basic things, you know. Nothing special.”

Taehyung hummed and his brows furrowed together with his lips pulled into a thin line. He was clearly not believing you completely, not buying what you were selling him. You pressed harder against the ground, begging for it to give in and let you sink into a hole.

“Anything else?”

Lying was stupid, lying to Taehyung was even stupider, but you seemed to like to be stupid today.

“Nope.” You said the last syllable with a pop and it had Taehyung’s frown deepening and his gaze digging into you when you two stopped at a red light. 

“Y/N.” A sigh followed and you lowered your gaze before shaking your head as your teeth sank into your tongue.

“Fine,” you breathed out and slammed back, head hitting your seat definitely too hard. “We- well, he-”

Taehyung turned to you, but you stared out the window, realising that you were almost at home now. His eyes dug into your face and you sighed, thinking of a way to word all of this.

“We- technically, we didn’t talk much at all. At least I didn’t,” you started again and took your time to get it all together. “But- he did say that he,” a heavy sigh slipped past your lips and you gnawed on your tongue before deciding to just say it, “learned from our relationship that people are selfish and that he hoped he would never have to see me again after this.”

Taehyung was stunned, stunned silent and you wished he would say something, react in some way. The tension came rising back, stretching every one of your joints to the point it hurt.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Taehyung muttered underneath his breath and when you turned to him, there was anger etched onto every line of his face. It was burning in his eyes and it had you quickly jump to Jungkook’s defense.

“No- it’s fine. I get-”

“No, Y/N, it’s not fucking fine,” Taehyung interrupted and to your dismay, you had reached your front door. He parked rather smoothly and when you came to a stop, Taehyung turned to you.

“Don’t say it’s fine because we both know it’s not,” Taehyung said and you didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s rude, unnecessarily rude. I get it. He’s pissed and you hurt him and whatever, but it’s been four fucking years. And he’s literally the one that broke up with you-”

“Well, I was leaving for America-”

“But you wanted to try, right? You didn’t want to break up, right?” Taehyung asked and you didn’t say anything. “See! You wanted to try, but he refused. Don’t even get me started on the fact that he didn’t say goodbye to you at all. You go to America and he doesn’t even bother to show up at the airport after dating you for almost four years, not to mention text you or call you on the day to wish you well? I haven’t forgotten that bullshit yet.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and lowered your gaze.

Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I still love him. He’s my friend after all, and it’s not like I don’t get it why he’s mad. I do, in a way, and not because I ‘hate’,” Taehyung made air quotes around the word hate, “you for going or anything, but because it was surprising. But still saying shit like that is not okay.”

“It’s fine,” you tried again, but your words seem to have the fire in Taehyung growing because he shook his head vigorously.

“Stop saying that! It’s not.” Taehyung paused, taking a moment to breathe. “It’s definitely not. He’s so-” Taehyung threw up his hands and pressed his lips into a hard line, words failing him as his anger consumed him more and more. 

“We all thought he was over it.”

“He isn’t,” you mumbled and Taehyung ‘duh’s your answer, realising himself that Jungkook was far, very far from getting over you leaving, not to mention forgive you in any shape or form.

Both of you sat in silence for a while and your fingers itched for the door handle. You hated this, hated this because Taehyung didn’t get that you were fine, didn’t get that you were fine with the way Jungkook treated you because you had fucked up and now, these were the consequences.

“You don’t have to do this.”

You kept staring out of the window, kept staring like you couldn’t feel Taehyung’s eyes dig into your profile and demand for you to look at him, kept staring like you couldn’t hear him.

“There’s no one forcing you to go next week. You could just simply-”

“I know,” you said and sighed. You leaned forward and covered your eyes, pressing on them slightly as you thought of everything that had happened today, thought of every little interaction you had shared with Jungkook.

“I know,” you muttered before looking up and turning your gaze to Taehyung, cheek falling into your open palm. “I know.”

Taehyung and you looked at each other for a few seconds.

“You’re still gonna go, huh?”

You sat up straight and unbuckled your seatbelt, arms stretching out to pull Taehyung into a hug. He reciprocated it and you tightened your arms around him a little more than you usually would, chin resting on his shoulder.

“You’re still great, Tae.”

Taehyung chuckled and patted your back, sinking deeper into the hug. You were the one to pull away, but you rested your hands on his shoulder and looked him dead in the eye.

“No, really,” you smiled and squeezed his shoulders. “You’re really great, Taehyung.”

Slightly embarrassed by your words, Taehyung looked down at his hands.

“You’re stupid, Y/N.”

You laughed.

When you came out of the shower that night and checked your phone, a frown etched onto your face.

[You’ve been added to the “DD” group chat]

[Unknown Number - 11:24 PM] : hi! it’s heejin here and I just wanted to ask if next saturday works for everyone!!

[Unknown Number sent in location]

[Unknown Number - 11:24 PM] : my address!

[tae - 11:27 PM] : uh DD?

[Unknown Number - 11:27 PM] : double date. couldnt think of anything else realy

[tae - 11:27 PM] : okay lol but yeah should work

[Unknown Number - 11:32 PM] : yeah, think I can make it too

[Unknown Number - 11:32 PM] : okay, great! only gotta wait for y/n’s answer now

[tae - 11:32 PM] : wouldnt expect an answer any time soon lmao shes too stupid to text

[You - 11:48 PM] : you take a shower once and immediately people talk shit about you :)) 

[You - 11:48 PM] : but should work for me too

[tae - 11:48 PM] : love you too sweetie! and goodnight!!

[You - 11:48 PM] : :))))

When you went to save Heejin’s number, you got distracted by her profile picture. She was smiling right into the camera, smiling the same smile she had smiled at you. It was almost scary how genuine her smile looked even through a simple picture. No one smiled like Heejin. 

Her number was saved rather quickly, but when you went and clicked on Jungkook’s number, you were, once again, distracted by his profile picture. You should have expected it for Jungkook to have Heejin and him together as his profile picture, but it still shocked and surprised you, had your lips pressing into a hard line.

Jungkook had his arm around Heejin and she was looking at him, mid-laugh There was a proud smirk on his lips, that proud smirk he got whenever he managed to make someone laugh. Both looked at each other and the sun brought out both of their eyes, brought out the love in them. You could practically see it glimmering in their pupils.

Your heart tumbled in your chest, tumbled in the most painful way possible, but you ignored it, ignored it because what else were you going to do? Complain? You had no right to.

And as you let your phone slip into your pocket, a certain thought planted itself into your mind, robbing you of the peace and quiet you thought you would get once you were at home. The roots dug deeper and deeper into you until it was ingrained in you, swimming through your blood and consuming you whole, chewing you up over and over again simply to spit you out.

You would have been Heejin if you hadn’t left.

“What is she like?”

There was a beat of silence for a moment and you hugged your knees you had pulled close to your body self a little tighter at the question.

Your phone was laying on your desk, speakers on.

“Well,” Taehyung sighed, “she’s- she’s nice, I guess.”

Taehyung said it like a question, clearly choosing his words carefully as he tried not to offend you in any way, and you almost smiled at that. 

“Yeah, she’s nice,” you agreed.

“That’s great,” Yerim started, uncertainty swinging in her words. “Right? That’s great that she’s nice, right?”

No one answered and after a while, you pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded.

“Yeah, it’s great,” you said and you could hear Yerim exhale in relief. You chewed on your lip, and tried not to think about how it was not great and that you hated that Heejin was nice because it made hating her so much more difficult.

“I’m happy for him.”

This time when you said it, you weren’t sure if you really meant it, weren’t sure if you could say it from the bottom of your heart. Jungkook still, of course, deserved so much more, deserved better, but the thought that he was doing so much better with Heejin left a bad and bitter taste on your tongue. You didn’t want to think or feel like that, but your heart was selfish, just like he had said.

“That’s nice,” Yoongi mumbled and his voice was muffled, but the familiar snarky tone came through perfectly. “Nice of you to lie like that.”

You bit down on your lip and buried your face into your knees.

“Dude,” Taehyung said and used ‘dude’ like he always did whenever he was getting mad and refused to use one’s name. 

“What? We all know it’s a lie,” Yoongi said, matter of factly. “It’s not bad. It’s commendable that Y/N’s trying, but let’s not act dumb and oblivious to it.”

“Yoongi,” Yerim sighed from the other side of the line, groaning. “You can’t just say something like that.”

“We were all thinking it.”

You pressed your face further into your knees, squeezing your eyes shut as you hugged your legs closer to your chest.

“Dude,” Taehyung warned again, voice dropping significantly, and you could picture Yoongi rolling his eyes at him before sitting up to defend himself.

“All I’m trying to say is that it’s stupid to lie and pretend that it doesn’t suck that Kook is with Heejil or whatever her name-”

“Heejin,” Yerim threw in and there was a beat of silence before Yoongi continued again.

“Okay, fine, Heejin, but it doesn’t really matter,” Yoongi paused and the silence that settled was deafening and you begged him to continue. “What matters is the fact that Y/N shouldn’t need to pretend to be happy for him. They both hurt each other and acting like Y/N only hurt him is so fucking stupid. Kook’s really gotta learn how to be civil and not act like a complete ass-”

“Tae!” You cut in and looked at your phone like he could see you. “You told them? I thought we agreed on leaving that out.”

“Please, you seriously didn’t think I wouldn’t tell the others, did you?” Taehyung scoffed and you huffed, brows furrowing together as you fixed your phone with a glare like it was to blame for this.

“And I’m happy that he did tell us, Y/N,” Yoongi said and you groaned, burying your face once more into your knees now. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I get it that Kook’s mad because it was all very sudden and quick and you were his first love or whatever, but it’s not a reason to be an ass to you.”

You didn’t respond, and for a while, the silence lingered on. It was almost unbearable, but you couldn’t think of anything to say, knowing already you were going to be shut down anyway.

“You don’t have to do this,” Yoongi said and sounded exactly like Taehyung. You looked up and put your chin on top of your knee before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Yeri?”

There was a shuffle and a moment later it was followed by a sigh. “No, I do agree with the others. Kook can be mad and everything—we all get it in a way—but it’s not an excuse to be an ass to you and say hurtful shit like that. You’re not selfish for following your dreams. Also, didn’t he technically break up with you? So, actually, I don’t get why he’s still mad at you.”

You stayed silent.

“Again, you-”

“I know, Yoongs,” you groaned. “I know that I don’t have to do this,” a heavy sigh slipped past your lips, “but it’s just this one time anyway and unlike what you guys might think, I’m not hurt by what he said.”

Neither Taehyung nor Yerim nor Yoongi said something for a while and just as the silence was about to become too unbearable and just as you were about to tell them you had to do something and therefore, hang up, Taehyung spoke up.

“You’re stupid, Y/N.”

You peeled your eyes open and lowered your gaze, a tight smile splitting apart on your lips.

“I know.”

You couldn’t recall how this had happened, how a simple film night turned into a dinner party, but somehow you were all standing in the middle of Heejin’s kitchen, preparing dinner. Taehyung and Jungkook were manning the stove, cooking the meat and Heejin and you were cutting up vegetables for a salad.

“Careful!”

You froze at Heejin’s voice and looked up, eyes locking with hers. Jungkook and Taehyung stopped messing around and turned their focus to you two, brows raising at the sudden exclamation. When you looked back down where Heejin’s fingers had curled around your wrist, you realised that you were about to cut off your fingers. Immediately, you let go of the knife and forced a laugh to spill from your lips.

“Shit. Good catch.”

“You okay? Almost cut off your fingers there,” Heejin said with a small smile and you quickly nodded, ignoring the gazes that were digging into your back. 

“Yeah, uh, just spaced out a little,” you mumbled and Heejin laughed, returning to cutting up the rest of her carrots. 

You grabbed your glass of wine and when you took a sip from it, your eyes locked with Taehyung’s. There was a deep line etched between his brows and in an attempt to smooth it over, you smiled at him. It took him a second, but he smiled back at you and seeing his smile had your smile turn into a genuine one.

Your gaze wandered and locked with Jungkook’s. You looked at him without meaning to. Your gaze just automatically travelled to him. His face was stiff and hard. Harsh lines were carved into it and you thought he was going to say something, scoff at you, but then he turned around without a word.

Taehyung and you looked at each other once more and his jaw locked up, but you shook your head. When he sighed, you thanked him with a smile and turned away, putting your wine glass down to focus on your vegetables again.

“Oh.”

Heejin stopped and looked up, raising her brows at your sudden exclamation.

“What?” she asked with a tilt of her head and you pointed at the cucumber on her cutting board.

“I, uh, like them diced more,” you said and Heejin blinked at you, expecting you to be joking. “Yeah, I- I just think cucumbers taste better diced.”

You shrugged and Heejin’s light laugh filled the air before she nodded and started dicing the cucumber.

“Okay, sure thing. Diced cucumbers it is.”

You smiled at her. “Thanks.” 

Heejin waved it off. You stopped yourself from shaking your head at yourself because a week ago, Taehyung and you were rolling your eyes at Jungkook for preferring his cucumbers diced, but here you were, making sure his cucumbers were going to be cut the way he liked them.

“So, tell me,” Heejin started when you picked up the knife. She tucked her hair away and looked at you. “What was Kook like in high school?”

You stopped chopping your tomatoes and bit on your lip. You struggled to think of something to say and Heejin’s staring certainly didn’t make it any easier.

“He, uh, well, the same, I think,” you started and your words had Heejin chuckling. “I mean, I don’t think he really changed that much since.” You kept cutting up your tomatoes, eyes focused on the task in front of you. “At least, I doubt it. He didn’t change much during high school, so, I don’t think he did now.”

“Well, what was he like during high school?” Heejin asked again, not getting the answer she had been fishing for.

“Funny and kind,” you said without missing a beat and surprised yourself. You paused before shrugging and transferring your tomato wedges inside the big salad bowl. “He’s—not to gas him up—but he’s always been funny and kind, I guess. Like, he’s just always had a good heart.” You took the last tomato, starting to cut it up into wedges too. “He’s always just cared about others around him and tried to make others happy. It’s- it’s really nice and sweet.”

“That’s-”

“Like, one time he stayed after school with,” you quickly swallowed the ‘me’, “uh, one of our friends for hours because they had lost their keys. And they didn’t even ask him to stay. He just did it himself and helped them out because they were, like, freaking out and on the brink of tears. And they weren’t even friends at that point. They were just classmates, but he- that didn’t matter to him. He helped them nevertheless.”

You laughed at the memory a little, remembering clearly how panicked you had been when you had realised that you had lost your keys.

“But he also definitely has his dramatic tendencies, and he’s also very picky with his food. I’m sure you know by now- oh, and he’s constantly late. At this point, it’s just chronic. Don’t get me started on his shitty excuses.”

You put away the last tomato wedges and your grip around the knife loosened. With your eyes on your hands, you sighed and without noticing, a smile stretched across your lips.

“But nevertheless, he’s a really amazing and great person.”

Heejin had long stopped dicing the cucumber and simply stared at you. When you looked up to her, you realised that maybe you had said too much. Your heart dropped into your stomach at the realisation and you were about to dismiss your words when a smile grew on Heejin’s lips.

“That’s great to hear,” she said and you couldn’t figure out if she meant it or not. “Sounds like you two were close.”

“Well, no- He was known for being kind and funny at our school. Ask anybody, they’d say the same thing about him,” you laughed and you hoped you could hide the wavering of your voice. “And if anyone was close to him, then it was Taehyung.”

“What was I?”

Taehyung stood next to you and you were about to respond when he took one of the tomato wedges and plopped them into his mouth. He stopped chewing when he saw the diced cucumbers and he looked at you, but you avoided his gaze.

“Don’t eat all of them. It’s for the salad. Also, are you done with your thing?” you said when he mindlessly reached for a second tomato wedge. You slapped his hand away, eliciting a gasp and whine from him.

“You’re mean, Y/N,” a pout formed on Taehyung’s lips, but you simply rolled your eyes at him, “and, yeah, Kook is finishing everything up.” He rubbed his hand. “Also, what was I?”

You sighed and put down the knife, reaching for the kitchen towel hanging from Taehyung’s shoulder to wipe your hands on it. “Close to him during high school.”

Taehyung raised his brows for a second before his gaze wandered behind you and it clicked in his mind. “Talking about the past, huh?”

“Yeah, Kook rarely ever talks about it,” Heejin said and you took the little piece of uncut cucumber from her cutting board, wanting to busy yourself with something.

“What are you guys talking about?” Jungkook turned off the stove and walked up to you, stopping behind Heejin.

“High school,” Taehyung said and Jungkook’s eyes shot to you. His gaze dug into you, but you acted like you couldn’t feel it, couldn’t feel him looking at you and instead kept your focus on dicing the cucumber in front of you.

“Yeah, you never wanna talk about it, babe,” Heejin repeated again and Jungkook frowned at her words.

“It wasn’t a good time.”

For just a second, you stopped focusing on the cucumber and instead focused on the icicles slowly forming in your lungs and the piercing breeze blowing through your chest, but you pulled it together and ignored the cold spreading through you.

“Wait, seriously?” Heejin asked and looked at Jungkook with raised brows. 

“Yeah, I guess-” Jungkook shrugged and you could feel Taehyung’s eyes on you as you poured the diced cucumbers into the salad bowl. “It wasn’t-”

Jungkook looked over to you for a second, but you didn’t meet his gaze. You just kept staring at the cutting board and over your head, Taehyung shot Jungkook a look that almost resembled a glare. 

“I just don’t like thinking back to that time.” Jungkook shrugged once more and you let go of the knife. It hit the cutting board with a faint thud that had your face contorting and Taehyung tensing up next to you. His fingers pulled on your wrist and wrapped around it, thumb brushing over your skin to soothe you, but it did nothing to thaw the icicles hanging from your lungs, sharp and ready to steal your breath.

“I mean it’s not like it was awful or anything. I did have my friends and a g- uh, stuff like that, and at the time, I thought it was great,” Jungkook continued on, and your heart froze up more and more with each of his words.

His eyes wandered to you, digging into you as he continued,

“But great things always have to come to an end.”

Taehyung was glued to your side for the rest of the time, and you thanked him with a smile when you felt like you could muster up one. He shot one right back at you and by the time dinner was actually served, you had almost completely forgotten about Jungkook’s words and the way they had frozen up your heart.

You almost forgot.

Because for some reason, you were the one sitting across from Jungkook. When Taehyung and you had noticed, you couldn’t switch anymore. And so, Jungkook and you made sure to keep your heads low and your legs tucked underneath your chairs.

“How come?”

You looked up and blinked at Heejin as she quickly swallowed the rice to continue talking.

“How come both of you haven’t watched ‘Titanic’?” she asked and pointed between Taehyung and you. 

“I don’t think there’s necessarily a reason, right?” you said and looked at Taehyung for confirmation. He hummed in agreement and shrugged, stuffing his face with some of the salad.

“Do you guys just not like romcoms?”

“Uh, wouldn’t say we don’t like them,” Taehyung mumbled, “but we don’t really watch them either.”

“Yeah, most are just a little too unrealistic for me,” you added and took a sip from your wine. 

“I get that. Unrealistic romcoms are definitely the worst,” Heejin laughed. “Kook and I really enjoy romcoms though.”

You almost told Heejin that you knew that, that you knew very much that Jungkook was a sucker for romcoms. He had been the romantic of you two, taking you out on the most extra dates, making sure that you always felt special, trying his hardest to make your relationship into a romcom.

“Netflix has put out some really great and realistic ones though recently,” Heejin continued. ”Like, ‘Set It Up’ is really great and funny and ‘To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before’ while a little more cheesy, is still very great.”

“You really like romcoms, don’t you?” you asked and Heejin beamed at your question, clearly excited about the prospect of talking about romcoms in depth.

“Yeah, I absolutely love them,” she sighed and leaned forward a little, her smile widening. You smiled back at her because it was truly hard not to smile at Heejin.

“What’s your favourite one?” you asked and Heejin’s smile grew into a grin, eyes glossing over as the excitement etched onto her face. 

“Hard question, but I’d say ‘About Time’ and ‘Someone Great’ are some of my favourites,” Heejin said and you perked up.

“Didn’t we watch ‘About Time’?” You looked over to Jungkook without meaning to and when he met your gaze, his eyes were big and flushed with panic. Quickly, you added, “We watched it together, right? All of us?”

Your head whipped around to Taehyung and he was mid-bite, caught off guard. 

“Yeah, no, we, uh, did,” Taehyung coughed out, slightly choking on his rice.

“Wasn’t it great?” Heejin said with a big grin and you nodded, taking a big sip from your wine.

“W-what was the other one again? ‘Someone Great’? What is that one about? I don’t think I’ve heard of it,” you said, changing the topic. Jungkook quickly went back to focusing on his food, but Taehyung was still looking at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh, it’s about Jenny—she’s the main character—who is a journalist, and she lands her dream job, but to fulfill it, she has to move across the country,” Heejin started to explain and you thought you were hearing wrong. You almost choked on your own spit and you weren’t the only one noticing the similarities because Jungkook slowly raised his head and looked at you.

“Her boyfriend, Nate, of, I think, nine or ten years ends up breaking up with her because of it and then she and her friends, like, try to forget about everything and cheer her up. It’s a really good film. They also all have their own respective relationship problems and we also get to see Jenny’s and her boyfriend’s relationship through flashbacks,” Heejin finished up telling and Taehyung’s hand found yours. You let go of your fork to interlace your fingers with his because right now, you needed someone to hold onto.

“It’s not your conventional romcom,” Heejin said with a smile. “It’s why I love it so much. It totally brings up the question of love or work and what’s the right choice.”

You hummed and looked away, deciding not to look at Jungkook because you didn’t want to see the way his features contort and harden. You had seen it once already, had seen his face split apart in pain once before. You had seen it when you had told him you were leaving, and ever since, you hadn’t gotten it out of your head. It had haunted you all of these years. 

You knew if you looked at Jungkook right now, the guilt and bad memories would bubble up and chew you out again. A lump would lodge itself into your throat and your heart would tighten into an impossible knot and everything in your body would ache and scream and tears would prick your eyes and your lungs would freeze to ice. 

At the sight of it, you would be left on the floor, gutted and breathless and in pain and frozen.

“What do you think, Y/N?”

You were more than caught off guard by the question and you scrunched up your brows, tilting your head to the side as you met Heejin’s gaze.

“Like, the fact that her boyfriend broke up with her and she essentially had to choose between love and work. What do you think about that?” Heejin blinked at you and her expression was hard to read. Her lips were pressed into a thin line and her brows were slightly raised.

You stammered for something to say, incredibly aware that all eyes were on you. Jungkook seemed to be staring holes into you, almost like he was challenging you to say the wrong thing. Taehyung squeezed your hand even tighter now and you couldn’t thank him enough because it offered you enough strength to croak out, 

“I don’t know.”

For a moment, there was silence.

“Well, I think it was fair of her boyfriend to break up with her because leaving like that was just shitty,” Jungkook piped up and Taehyung scoffed quietly underneath his breath, whispering an ‘of course’ to himself.

“I wouldn’t say breaking up with her was fair at all,” Taehyung argued and you squeezed Taehyung’s hands, wishing he wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t start all of this, but you couldn’t get through him. He couldn’t feel your hand tightening around his, could only feel the anger coursing through his veins.

“How is breaking up with her not fair if they were going to break up anyway? It was inevitable. She essentially left him for a job. Might as well just do it instead of dragging it out,” Jungkook said and put down his fork and knife, leaning back to cross his arms in front of his chest.

“Dude, no, it wasn’t,” Taehyung spat out and tried his hardest to keep his voice level. “They could have tried, tried to work it out somehow. Maybe they would have broken up later, but not trying at all and then being mad at the other person is not fair at all and fucking ridiculous.”

Heejin looked between Jungkook and Taehyung as they threw words at each other’s heads like doing so would make the other understand. You sank deeper into the chair and never more did you wish for a hole to appear underneath you and swallow you. In fact, you wouldn’t mind if the hole swallowed you and never spat you out again.

The conversation had taken a different turn than Heejin had intended it to go and you hoped and prayed she wouldn’t piece it together, wouldn’t figure out what exactly was being said right now, wouldn't manage to read between the lines.

“Can you really blame her boyfriend, though?” Jungkook was slipping now. The anger was consuming him slowly and wholly, taking over him. “I- he must have been so caught off guard by the news that she was moving away. It’s not okay or fair to keep that shit from him all the time and then expect him to be fine with it or supportive after telling him-”

“Yeah, I get it. It sucks that she kept it from y- him, but ever thought that there was a reason, huh?” Taehyung was breaking as well and the mask of friendliness and neutrality was sliding off, sliding off so fast he couldn’t catch it. Not that he bothered to. ”Ever thought that she kept it a secret from him because she was scared and didn’t want to hurt him? Like, fine, dude, be mad at the moment, but hating her forever and not even bidding her goodbye-”

“You don’t seem to get just how hurt I- he was, Taehyung. It’s not that easy-”

“How is it not that easy to be a decent human being? If he loved her, if he really loved her, he would have realised that it was her dream and wished her well-”

“Well, if she really loved him, she wouldn’t have left him like that! But she did because she’s selfish.” 

At this point, Jungkook and Taehyung were essentially screaming at each other, words bitter and far too loud.

“Dude, how is it selfish to chase your dreams? Also, what the fuck are you trying to say? Is she meant to always choose him over everything-”

“No, that’s literally not what I’m saying. She should have talked to him-”

“And she did, but he didn’t listen. What was she gonna do? Harass him into listening?”

“No, because at that point, when he refused to listen, she had already messed it all up! She had already broken him. Fuck, they were literally dating for years and years and one day, she just tells him she’s gonna leave? Like, what the actual fuck? What about their promise of forever? What about that? Was he not enough for her now?”

Jungkook was glaring at Taehyung with his eyes blown out wide and his chest heaving, lungs aching for air.

“She can go fuck herself for that!”

Your knuckles turned white around Taehyung’s hand and your teeth sank into your tongue. It was your poor attempt to numb the pain rippling through you now with even more pain.

Jungkook’s words were dripping with venom and anger. They sliced into you and pushed out any warmth inside you, leaving you freezing and cold. They poisoned you, sent the icicles crashing down from where they had been hanging, and they pierced through your lungs and filled them up with blood. You could feel yourself choke, suffocate slowly and painfully as his words replayed over and over again in your mind like a broken record.

You wanted to press your eyes shut and run away. You didn’t want to hear any of it anymore, didn’t want to have to listen to Taehyung and Jungkook screaming at each other, yelling like it was a battle of who could be the loudest.

Your eyes locked with Jungkook’s and while his stare was cold and hard, colder and harder than you had ever seen it, there seemed to be something else glimmering in his eyes too. And that something made him look like he knew he had gone too far, look like he knew exactly what his words were doing to you, but right now, he didn’t care, didn’t care just how much he was hurting you because in his mind, you had hurt him first, had hurt him worse.

So, hurting you was okay, justified even.

Taehyung fixed Jungkook with a glare, but he simply held his own, eyes digging into Taehyung’s as much as his eyes were digging into Jungkook’s. Taehyung’s nostrils were flared and his jaw was locked to the point it had to hurt. Both slipped into a staring contest either were more than determined to win.

At the end though, it was Jungkook who tore his gaze away, but the anger and frustration were etched onto every line and edge of his face. 

Taehyung scoffed before throwing his fork down on the plate and jumping up. His chair hit the floor and you were about to pick it up when he yanked on your hand. You stumbled after him more than anything else and as Taehyung led you around the table and out of the kitchen, your gaze met Heejin’s.

Her brows were drawn together and for once, there was no hint of a smile on her lips. You wanted to apologise to her, tell her it was all fine—even though you weren’t even sure if it was—but then you saw her hand on his knee underneath the table and suddenly, there was an unbelievably uncomfortable knot sitting in your throat, stopping you.

“I hope you don’t choke on your fucking diced cucumbers, dude.”

[yoongs - 08:23 PM] : @y/n @tehyung how is the dinner going?

[yeri - 08:34 PM] : ohh, yeah, how is it? are you guys still stuck watching jack draw rose like one of his ~french girls~??

[yeri - 08:34 PM] : also yoongs do you have taes name saved wrong in your phone??? wtf

[yoongs - 08:57 PM] : have you guys gotten to that stupid door scene yet?

[yeri - 09:14 PM] : are you ignoring me? 

[yoongs - 09:43 PM] : @y/n @tehyung didnt you guys say youd try to go home asap

[yoongs - 09:43 PM] : how long is dinner and a film? or are you guys ignoring us?

[yeri - 09:45 PM] : tae, are you ignoring us like yoongs is ignoring me right now?? like y/n i get bc she sucks at texting, but you? tae? not responding? :o

[You - 04:57 AM] : hey, yoongs! please dont say anything to yeri or tae, but could you give me his address? kinda urgent.

[yoongs - 09:14 AM] : are you okay? why are you texting me at 4?

[You - 09:14 AM] : im fine. ill tell you all about it later. just give me his address please

[yoongs - 09:15 AM] : uff fine

[yoongs sent in location]

[yoongs - 09:15 AM] : its 201

In high school, you hadn’t been nearly as close to Taehyung as you were now. It wasn’t because you hadn’t been friends with each other, but rather because he had been so close to Jungkook already. Even after your friend group had formed, the two always had a different kind of bond, a deeper one. And even after Jungkook and you had started dating, their bond had been just as strong as yours had been with Jungkook. 

It had never bothered you because Taehyung and Jungkook had known each other forever, had known each other since they were in diapers. In fact, Yerim, Yoongi and you had always poked fun at that, always joked that those two were the true couple of your friend group. 

It was why you should have expected this to happen when you knocked on Taehyung’s front door.

“Jungkook?”

Your lips parted slightly as you stared at him with big eyes. He was equally as shocked as you were, clearly not checking who it had been before opening the door.

“How’d you get in?” he asked with a furrow of his brows and you stammered before pointing behind you.

“Uh, someone let me in when they were walking out,” you explained and Jungkook scoffed slightly, head shaking from left to right as he cursed his neighbour.

Jungkook was donning a simple white T-Shirt and grey swats. You had seen him in this outfit more times than you could count when you had dated, but it still had your heart quickening because, fuck, he did look good dressed like that.

And as you stared at him, all of the memories of yesterday came rushing back to you and immediately, you lowered your gaze to your feet.

“He isn’t here. Didn’t come home yesterday,” Jungkook mumbled, knowing exactly why you were here and that you definitely were not here for him. Judging from your reaction upon seeing him, you hadn’t expected to see him. Another scoff almost escaped him, but somehow, he managed to swallow it. 

When you looked back up to him, Jungkook was already walking away, but the door stood wide open. Interpreting him leaving the door open as inviting you inside, you stepped in and closed the door behind you.

You tightened your grip around your tote bag as you walked inside, steps light. You were ready to run right out if Jungkook was to ask you why the fuck you invited yourself inside, but he didn’t. He just walked into the living room and sat down on his U shaped couch before pulling out his phone and mindlessly scrolling through it.

Unsure what to do—not only because you had never been here before, but also because you hadn’t expected to see Jungkook—you stopped behind him, not daring to take a single step inside the living room.

It was small and most of the room was taken up by the U shaped couch, but somehow it still looked home-y and cozy. Something about it, about the way the furniture was arranged and the room was decorated screamed comfort and you knew Jungkook was to thank for it. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, just sit. Looks like I’m not letting you.”

You snapped around to see Jungkook rolling his eyes at you. He gestured around him, offering you the rest of the couch, but you hesitated to do just what he had told you to. His eyes continued to burn into you and after a second and some internal debating, you wandered around the couch and sat down, choosing the seat that was furthest from Jungkook’s.

The gap between you two was huge, enough to fit Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi between it, and you were more than thankful for it because the tension was palpable, thick, so thick a knife couldn’t even cut through it, so thick it could stop a bullet.

You put down your tote bag next to you, but you held it close to you, protecting the food inside. After a few seconds of silence, you pulled out your phone, unlocking it to open Taehyung’s and your chat.

[You - 09:32 AM] : where, uh, are you right now?

[You - 09:32 AM] : please come home asap. im sitting in the living room with him and its awkward as fuck. hurry

[You - 09:32 AM] : also why the fuck didnt you tell me you lived w him??

You were about to make a new group chat, add Yoongi and Yerim to it and panic text them when Taehyung came online and started typing.

[tae - 09:32 AM] : wtf??

[tae - 09:33 AM] : why the fuck ar u at my place?? you know where i lve?

[tae - 09:33 AM] : im there asap

[You - 09:33 AM] : i made you food as a way to say sorry

[tae - 09:33 AM] : go into my room its in the back. on the left second dor

[tae - 09:33 AM] : why sorry????

[You - 09:34 AM] : okay good. hurry

[You - 09:34 AM] : uh well your fight with him???? you forgot abt it?

[tae - 09:34 AM] : no ofc not

[tae - 09:34 AM] : but

[You - 09:34 AM] : omfg what does it matter. just come home

[tae - 09:35 AM] : fine

You sighed and hoped that Taehyung was going to come back in the next ten minutes or so because you couldn’t stand being in a room with Jungkook any longer. You just couldn’t forget that he was right here, that he was just sitting a few metres away from you, in the same room as you.

“But she did because she’s selfish.”

“When he refused to listen, she had already messed it all up!”

“She had already broken him.”

“He wasn’t enough for her now?”

“What about their promise of forever?”

“She can go fuck herself for that!”

You pressed your lips together and let your head fall, eyes squeezing shut as you tried to block it all out, tried not to think, but it was hard, hard when the person you had hurt the most in the world was sitting right there. You wanted to fall to your knees and beg for Jungkook’s forgiveness, but you doubted you had a right to even do that, not to mention talk to him.

The guilt had been eating you up since yesterday evening and continued on as you laid in bed, desperately trying to get some sleep. In the end, you watched the sun creep up the sky, painting your hometown in a tragic orange. 

“Here.”

You peeled your eyes open at the sound before slowly raising your head to see Jungkook standing right in front of you, hands buried in his sweats. He nodded towards the coffee table and when you looked at it, a cup of coffee was sitting on top of it.

“Looks like you haven’t slept in years,” Jungkook scoffed, almost like his words were meant to hurt you, but for once, for the first time since you had seen him again, they had warmth spreading through you. 

“Oh, thanks.”

You reached for the cup of coffee, and it was bordering on cold, but when you took a sip from it, you could feel the sun start to shine in your chest and thaw the remnants of the icicles that had stayed behind from yesterday, shine away the mess that yesterday had left behind.

“Thanks,” you mumbled again, but Jungkook had already turned on his heel and sat down again. You didn’t care, didn’t care because that had just been the first somewhat civil interaction Jungkook and you had shared and you couldn’t help but treasure it.

If you were completely honest, the coffee tasted okay at best and kind of bad at worst, and maybe it was because you were incredibly tired so any caffeine was welcomed or maybe it was because Jungkook had given you the cup of coffee, but somehow that was the best cup of coffee you had ever had. It dissolved on your tongue in the best way possible. 

“Uh,” you turned to Jungkook and he looked up from his phone, brows shooting up as his lips pulled into a thin line. You wanted to say something, but your voice had to have dissolved with the coffee because you couldn’t get it to come out.

You simply pointed at your empty cup of coffee and after a few more seconds of incredibly awkward staring, you managed to croak out, “Where can I put, uh-”

“Just leave it on the coffee table,” Jungkook said before immediately turning back to his phone. You nodded nevertheless and did as you were told.

You pulled out your phone too, and, so, you two sat there for a while in silence as you waited for Taehyung to come home. Almost twenty minutes had passed at this point and because you were too focused on your phone, you didn’t notice Jungkook turn off his phone and put it back in his pocket, didn’t notice him press his lips into a thin line before sighing and looking up to you.

“You remember how I like my cucumbers cut?”

Your eyes shot to him and you could feel the heat crawl up your neck at the question, recalling clearly how he had reacted when you had insinuated how well you still knew him, how that had led to him fixing you with the most piercing stare and ended with him telling you that you taught him that people were selfish and that he hoped you were right and that he didn’t have to see you again after this.

“Uh,” you started before carefully continuing, “yeah. I- I do.”

And it was then that you watched Jungkook crack a smile.

He smiled like he hadn’t essentially told you to go fuck yourself yesterday, smiled like you hadn’t broken his heart, smiled like everything was fine between you two. For the first few seconds, you thought your brain was playing a joke on you, thought you were seeing wrong and that the coffee was hitting you just really hard, but then-

“I thought it was dumb that I prefered diced cucumbers.” Jungkook scrunched up his nose and tilted his head at you, and a smile stretched across your lips, heart tumbling in your chest.

“It is,” you said, “but I’ve been kind of dumb these days.”

You shrugged and Jungkook’s smile widened the tiniest bit, and you had to bite on your lip to stop your smile from growing into a grin, from growing a little too big.

“I swear they taste better diced-”

“Oh my god,” you groaned and rolled your eyes at Jungkook in faux annoyance. “You still seriously think that-”

“I don’t think, I-”

“Yeah, I know you don’t think,” you said and slipped back into teasing Jungkook like nothing had ever happened between you two, like you had never left, like he hadn’t hated and resented you for it, like you hadn’t hurt each other, like yesterday hadn’t happened.

Jungkook gasped at your words, and you giggled when you saw the smile pulling on the corners of his lips that he was so desperately trying to hide, relieved to know that you hadn’t crossed a line.

“Damn, I didn’t miss this, Y/N,” Jungkook said with a light laugh and you noticed instantly that Jungkook had said your name. Your heart tumbled in your chest, involuntarily, and as much as you had tried to hide it by biting it away, a grin split apart on your lips.

For once, there was no tension in the air, no cold lingering around you two, no icicles forming in your lungs. For once, your joints weren’t tightening to the point it hurt and ached, no stiffness stretching you straight. For once, you felt somewhat comfortable around Jungkook, somewhat at ease.

“What did you miss then?” 

“You.”

The answer slipped past Jungkook’s lips, rolled off his tongue without a second thought and you knew it, knew he hadn’t meant to say that, knew he hadn’t intentionally said it when you saw the blood rush to his face and paint his cheeks a bright and blaring red.

Your lips parted slightly and you blinked at Jungkook. Both of you both fell silent again and snapped your heads around, avoiding each other’s gazes as much as possible. And slowly, you could feel the tension fill up the room again, seep into every crack of the room, but this time it was different. 

This time the silence was loud, louder than Taehyung and Jungkook had been yesterday when they were screaming at each other. And with each second it lingered in the stifling air, you felt like it was urging you to say something, urging you to break it and tell Jungkook all of the things you had been wanting to say.

And so, you did, did break it, but you didn’t say the things you had been wanting to say. You said the thing you knew was okay to say.

“Heejin is nice.”

You whispered it into the room, whispered it so quietly like you didn’t want to break the silence that had been begging to be broken. Your eyes stayed on the ground, stayed focused on anything that wasn’t Jungkook, and he did the same, didn’t look up either.

“Yeah,” Jungkook breathed out and propped his arms on his knees, body leaning forward. “I guess she is.”

You nodded, barely registering his answer because you weren’t actually listening for it, not that you could have if you had wanted to because your heart was thumping in your ears, each beat as loud as a bomb going off right next to you. 

“H-how long have you two been dating?” you asked and you were honestly not sure why you were asking because simply thinking about Heejin and Jungkook together hurt you. Somehow you had been spared of their relationship details so far and you were more than thankful for that.

“Well, uh, a couple months,” Jungkook said with a cough. “Almost six now, I think.”

“And she hasn’t met the others yet?” you asked and peeked over to Jungkook. He only lowered his head even more and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, no, she hasn’t,” Jungkook mumbled.

“How come?” you continued in an attempt to lighten the whole situation, but somehow the air seemed to grow thicker with every word you exchanged. 

Jungkook took his time to answer, eyes scanning the floor like the words would appear on it if he stared long enough, like someone would whisper into his ear why Heejin hadn’t met his friends yet, like he would remember what his reasoning was.

“I- I don’t know,” Jungkook ended up sighing before curling up into himself, head lowering even more as if he was aiming to plant it to the floor.

“How’d you meet?” you asked.

“How does anybody meet anybody these days? Dating apps.”.

“What-”

“Did you date?”

The question was simple, each word easy to understand, but you had difficulties figuring out what he was asking you.

“When you were there, I mean. Did you date?”

You stammered for an answer, words running away from you like you were children playing Tag on a sunny day with your friends, and you were losing, miserably. The air was knocked out of your lungs and it took you seemingly an eternity to finally get it together and cough out some words, words that put together resembled an answer.

“I- yeah, I, uh, did.” You grimaced at yourself, head lowering to avoid Jungkook’s gaze the same way he had avoided yours before.

“So, you had, like, a serious-”

“No,” you cut in a little too fast. “I mean I dated, but nothing was really serious. I never had anything like a proper- you know.”

The corners of Jungkook’s lip curled up the tiniest bit at your answer.

“How come?”

You sighed and gripped your tote bag next to you, wondering now where the fuck Taehyung was because hadn’t he said he would hurry? 

“It just never felt quite right, I guess.” You shrugged and shifted from left to right, fingers tightening around your tote bag. “They were all funny and kind, but- I guess you could say that something was missing. Like, I don’t know, the spark or whatever.” Another shrug. “But also not like I had time to date. Was busy with my studies anyway.”

Jungkook hummed and for a moment, you both fell silent again. You were about to pull out your phone and mumble something about checking where Taehyung was to change the subject to something lighter, easier, when he cut in.

“Anyone significant though?” Your eyes shot to him and you raised your brows at him. His face was neutral, but there was definite curiosity swimming in his pupils. “Like, memorable? Anyone that stuck around a little longer? Or, you know, you liked-”

“No,” you said with a vigorous shake of your head. “No one that was in any way memorable or significant. Most just- they just kind of blur together.”

Jungkook looked at you for another second, words sinking in with him before he nodded and hummed. Both of you lowered your gazes again and fell into the all too familiar silence, tension creeping up on you.

But before you could be forced to break the silence once again and word vomit all over yourself, there was a rumbling and a frantic turning of keys. A second later, the front door flew open. Hectic and clumsy steps followed and soon enough, your eyes landed on a frazzled and panting Taehyung.

He stopped in the middle of the room, right in front of Jungkook and you. His chest heaved and judging from the sweat running down his temple, he had run a good amount.

Jungkook looked away when Taehyung stumbled into the living room, and instantly, you could feel a change in the air. The tension sat on your chest, suffocating you as it seeped into every corner of the room.

“My room,” Taehyung panted before pointing at you and into the hallway, not sparing Jungkook a single glance as he turned on his heel. You didn’t follow his words and only tightened your grip around your tote bag.

“I, uh,” you cleared your throat and Taehyung stopped, turning around to look at you with raised brows, confused, “I’d rather stay, uh, here.”

“What?” Taehyung asked and irritation started to mix with his confusion. “Why?”

His eyes dug into yours like he was trying to tell you just how little he wanted to stay here, and you sighed, tucking a strand behind your ear. Your tongue swiped across your bottom lip and you could feel your heart quicken in your chest, quicken impossibly.

“I-” you lowered your head before finally mustering up the courage to say it. “I know I said I came here to say sorry for yesterday, but I’m also here to say that I’d like to stop—I guess you could call it fake dating, right?—well, anyway, I’m here to tell you I’d like to stop fake dating you,” you thought to yourself, unsure how to call what Taehyung and you had been doing, “or whatever.”

“Why?”

“Because,” you started, voice quiet and calm, and you couldn’t look at Taehyung or Jungkook as you explained yourself because, fuck, all of this was so ridiculous and dumb, “I don’t like it. I don’t like lying. It’s stupid.”

You shrugged and when you looked up to Taehyung, he had his brows raised at you and his hands on his hips, obviously not believing you at all.

“You’re literally ly-”

“Also,” you cut in, not wanting to give Taehyung a chance to disagree with you and because you had to get everything out right now before the courage left you and you were staring at the floor once again. “Also, it’s just not fair to Heejin. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to you. She’s a good person and if she finds out that we’ve been lying to her, she- I don’t know, might break up with, uh, you know.”

Your eyes flickered to Jungkook. He was already looking at you, and maybe it was because your heart was beating in your ears, tumbling way too loud in your chest or maybe because you couldn’t properly look at him for more than a second, but you couldn’t read his expression. There was something in his eyes, but you couldn’t quite figure out what exactly.

“And we don’t want that, right?” 

Your voice wavered as you said the words and you hoped it would go unnoticed, hoped that neither Taehyung nor Jungkook listened closely enough to hear the waver. You folded your arms over your stomach, focusing back on Taehyung. He eyed you, continued to do so and you had to try your hardest not to shift and look away. 

“Fine,” Taehyung sighed, gaze tearing away to let it wander before his eyes returned to you like he had come to accept your decision just now. “What do you suggest?”

“I- uh,” you flashed Taehyung a nervous smile and wrung your hands together, “I don’t know. I- I figured we’d come up with something,” a short pause, “together.”

When you looked over to Jungkook again, he was staring at the floor before meeting your gaze, obviously not thinking he was going to be included in this. You wanted to muster up something that resembled a smile, but looking at him was something you couldn’t do, so, your eyes flickered to Taehyung. No smile for Jungkook.

“Together,” you repeated and Taehyung sighed, head lowering for a few seconds as he squeezed his eyes shut. When he looked up again, there was a deep line etched onto his features.

“Fine,” Taehyung breathed out before wandering into the room again and sitting down right opposite of Jungkook. 

All three of you occupied one side of the U shaped couch, Jungkook the left, Taehyung the right and you the middle.

“Okay, uh,” you started when the silence continued on too long, leaning forward to grab Taehyung's attention. “I- I’d say we have to break up amicably, right?”

You looked over to Taehyung for some kind of reaction, but his eyes were fixed on Jungkook and his eyes were fixed on Taehyung as well. Your head started to throb and you knew it was a matter of time until it split apart. Unable to take it any longer, you clapped your hands together and cut through some of the lingering tension.

“I thought we were gonna talk,” you said, voice quiet because you were too scared to speak up too loudly. You looked at Taehyung only because looking at Taehyung was easy and looking at Jungkook was not. “Let’s talk then, please.”

Taehyung and Jungkook locked eyes once more, the corners of their lips turned down, but both came to a mutual conclusion.

“Okay,” Jungkook sighed and shifted in his seat. 

“Yeah, fine,” Taehyung mumbled quietly, arms unfolding to rest on his knees. 

There was a moment of silence as he thought.

“You said break up amicably, right?” Taehyung pointed at you and you nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

“What does it matter if you two break up amicably or not?” Jungkook questioned with a furrow of his brow and Taehyung sighed.

“It matters because if Y/N and I don’t break up amicably, we can’t hang out in the future. So, if Heejin were to see us, it’d be weird,” Taehyung explained and the irritation was dripping from his words.

“You guys wanna hang out in the future?” Jungkook asked and Taehyung contorted his face at him.

“Yeah, of course, dude. Why the fuck wouldn’t we? We’re friends,” he said and shook his head at Jungkook, scoffing slightly.

“Don’t-”

“Okay, great. Break up amicably. How though?” you cut in before things could escalate any further, turning to Taehyung for some answers, but he simply shrugged.

“How about,” Jungkook started and ran a hand through his hair, “How about you two start acting annoyed with each other the next time we meet up? Like, start dropping hints and then, I’ll make some comment about how you two have problems and then, when we see each other again, you two are broken up.”

“Yeah, I doubt that Heejin would like to meet up again after yesterday,” Taehyung said and you hummed in agreement.

“Are you sure this is about Heejin not wanting to meet up or just you?” Jungkook bit back and you sighed inwardly, regretting not taking Yoongi or Yerim with you as support.

“Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?” Taehyung sneered with a scoff and a breathy chuckle, and you were certain your skull was going to break into pieces.

“What am I talking about? How about the fact that you didn’t come home yesterday?” Jungkook asked and pointed at Taehyung, the knit deepening between his brows.

“What does that-”

“Tae, please,” you interrupted and closed your eyes, hating every second of this. “Just don’t, please.”

You peeled your eyelids open and locked eyes with him, shaking your head from left to right as you were on the verge of giving this up and going home. Taehyung’s gaze softened when he saw how tired you were, irritation washing out of him in an instant.

“Yeah, no, you’re right. I’m sorry,” he mumbled, hand reaching for yours and you took it, squeezing it to thank him silently. You two shared a look and both of you were too occupied to notice Jungkook lowering his head and scoffing silently to himself, teeth sinking far too deep into his lip, so much so it should hurt.

“Okay, so, how-” you started, letting go of Taehyung’s hand to concentrate on the conversation again. “How did you imagine us meeting up again? Because I also don’t think that Heejin would want to meet up after yesterday.”

You glanced into Jungkook’s direction, but he kept his head low, acting like he was thinking when in reality, he was trying not to burst. 

“Maybe we could convince Yeri or Yoongs to host a game night or whatever,” Taehyung offered as a solution and you thought about his words for a moment before nodding, a smile tugging on the corners of your lips.

“Yeah, that sounds like something,” you said and turned to Jungkook slightly, glancing into his general direction to gauge his reaction.

“But,” Jungkook started, head raising a little as he looked at Taehyung with his brows slightly knitted together, “that’d mean Heejin would meet-”

Jungkook didn’t finish the sentence, deciding to swallow the rest of it instead and Taehyung and you exchanged a glance, giving him a few seconds to make up his mind again as to what he wanted to say.

“Yeah, no, that’s fine,” Jungkook sighed at the end, nodding, and Taehyung and you locked eyes once more.

“Great. I can talk to them about it,” you said with somewhat of a smile on your lips and Taehyung hummed in agreement and Jungkook just rubbed the back of his neck.

Stifling silence fell over all three of you, but then you remembered why you had come here in the first place. You dug through your tote bag and pulled out one tupperware box before pulling out another one. You placed them both on the coffee table and pushed them into their direction.

Taehyung and Jungkook looked up when they heard the sliding of the tupperware boxes and almost simultaneously, they furrowed their brows together and glanced at you. You didn’t meet either’s gazes, deciding to fiddle with the strap of your tote bag instead. 

“Breakfast,” you said with a shrug and it took Taehyung grabbing his box and removing the top for Jungkook to finally stop staring at you and grab his box.

“You made me food too?” Jungkook asked and stared at the box in front of him before glancing back up to you. You lowered your head even more, cheeks growing hot underneath his eyes.

“Well, no, not really,” you started, clearing your throat. “I mean I didn’t know you lived with Tae, but since he always used to eat so much I figured one box wasn’t enough and so, I made two, but I’m pretty sure two boxes were too much anyway. So, this works out perfectly actually. But it’s just a bunch of stuff I found in my fridge and threw together. Really nothing special.”

You shrugged more and Taehyung mumbled something underneath his breath, but you couldn’t catch it. Without a fork or a chopstick or any cutlery, he dug in, biting off a piece of the fried egg.

“Fuck, it’s good,” Taehyung said with a slight scoff like it was infuriating to him that your cooking (Could it be considered cooking though because you just made some bacon and fried egg and cut up some vegetables?) didn’t completely suck.

“Thanks,” Taehyung mumbled in between bites, enjoying the food so much that he couldn’t even raise his head to look at you.

You nodded and glanced at Jungkook, who had snapped out of whatever he had previously been and finally removed the top of the box, marvelling at the food in front of him. And just like Taehyung, he dug in, fingers first. You watched Jungkook try the bacon and shake his head as he chewed, a smile overtaking his lips more and more as he continued eating.

Jungkook looked up, eyes locking with yours and with the softest smile, he nodded at you.

“Thank you.”

And you nodded right back at him with your heart tumbling far too loudly in your chest.

“You’re welcome.”

All three of you fell silent and for a while, Taehyung’s and Jungkook’s constant chewing was the only thing that rang in your ears at all.

“Uh, Tae, could you give me-” Jungkook pointed at the box of tissues in front of Taehyung, out of his reach. He looked up at Jungkook’s voice, blinking for a few seconds because this had been the first time Jungkook had talked to him in a civil manner. Taehyung nodded and shoved the little piece of carrot into his mouth.

“Yeah, no, sure thing,” he mumbled before taking a tissue and leaning over the table to give it to Jungkook. He took it, wiping his fingers and mouth before locking eyes with Taehyung once more.

“Thanks,” Jungkook mumbled quietly and Taehyung smiled to himself a little before waving it off.

“Sure thing,” Taehyung mumbled equally quiet and you had to stop the grin from growing on your lips. 

For a few more seconds, you sat there as Taehyung and Jungkook practically devoured the food you had made (neither bothered to go to the kitchen and get some cutlery though) before you crossed your arms in front of your chest and turned to Taehyung.

“Why were you so late?” you asked and he looked up, a piece of fried egg hanging from the corner of his mouth. “And where were you that it took you half an hour to get back?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at you and swiped across his mouth with the back of his hand, swallowing heavily. “I crashed at Yoongi’s, and I swear the traffic was just out of the world this morning. I hit more red lights-”

“What? Was there a fire? Or did someone drop a bunch of mirrors on the road?”

Jungkook choked next to you and you watched him cough and pat his chest, trying desperately not to suffocate. Taehyung and you exchanged glances, and even though it had been incredibly awkward and tense just mere minutes ago, things were slowly changing.

When he finally managed to swallow his food, Jungkook locked eyes with you and you tried to hide it, but a smile grew onto your lips, eliciting his cheeks to grow hot and red.

“You guys never believed me,” Jungkook mumbled, a dramatic pout forming on his lips, and when you looked at Taehyung again, both of you burst out into laughter.

“Can you blame us though? Fires? Broken mirrors?” Taehyung laughed, forgetting everything that had happened between Jungkook and him.

“Why would I lie? There’s literally no reason for me to-”

“Because you forgot time and are now running late and trying to shift blame because you don’t want to get shit on for being late, again,” you offered as an explanation, falling into the same old teasing you all used to do when you were all still in high school and your biggest worries were if your mother or Jungkook was going to drive you home today and if Jungkook was going to stay at your place or if you were going to stay at his.

“I would never do that,” Jungkook argued and you rolled your eyes, exchanging a knowing glance with Taehyung. “Hey! No, don’t look at each other like that. I can see you guys.”

“Never thought or said you were blind,” Taehyung grinned and plopped a small tomato into his mouth. You hummed in agreement, grin growing bigger and brighter when you saw Jungkook scoff and shake his head at Taehyung and you.

“It’s always been you two against me,” Jungkook complained and Taehyung and you rolled your eyes simultaneously, scoffing.

“Please, if anything it was always you two,” Taehyung pointed at Jungkook and you with a piece of carrot before pointing at himself, “against me.”

“That is not true-”

“It was,” you said and locked eyes with Jungkook, nodding. “We’ve gotta admit it. We bullied Tae more than Tae and I bullied you.”

“So, you did bully me then,” Jungkook said and you rolled your eyes in faux annoyance.

“You’re focusing on the wrong thing,” Taehyung started and pointed at you, waving the piece of carrot around like it wasn’t food. “Y/N never got bullied. Only we did.”

“Oh my God, we never did bully you,” Jungkook said with a dramatic turn of his head and you scoffed, shaking your head because, oh, you did get bullied.

“Yoongs bullied me,” you corrected with a raise of your finger. “And if anyone didn’t get bullied, it was Yeri.”

“No, Yoongs bullied Yeri,” Taehyung said with his brows furrowed together and dismissed your words with a wave of his hand, after having finally eaten the piece of carrot. “You know who actually didn’t get bullied?”

“Yoongs,” Jungkook replied and all of you locked eyes, the realisation dawning on you. There was a beat of silence before you all started talking again, simultaneously.

“That bitch really bullied all of us relentlessly, but never got some of it back.”

“How did we not notice earlier?”

“Looks like we’ve got some bullying to do, huh?”

Another beat of silence followed before you locked eyes once more and all started laughing, pearls of laughter spilling from your lips, loud and beautiful.

And all of the tension and stiffness was gone, gone as you laughed your hearts out. Everything that had happened between you three was forgotten for a moment, the grudges were at the back of your minds, locked away for now, and you took it, took whatever the universe gave you that resembled normalcy. Deep down, you knew things were going to be awkward and tense once you all saw each other again, but for now, it was different, was like it used to be. 

Everything was great.

“I thought you guys would never come,” Yerim laughed, trying so hard to hide the nervosity, but you could hear it. She threw her arms around Jungkook’s neck, pulling him into a hug as he mumbled some excuse into her ear.

“Yeah, sorry.”

You watched Yerim and Heejin meet for the first time and you caught pieces of their conversation, listening to the usual spiel that consisted of ‘Oh, I’ve heard so much about you.’ and ‘It’s so nice to finally meet you’ before plopping a chip into your mouth, deeming whatever Yerim and Heejin were talking about as not interesting.

You had decided to busy yourself with the snacks in the kitchen when the bell had announced Jungkook’s and Heejin’s arrival, coming to the conclusion beforehand that if you looked busy, you didn’t have to get the door and do the obligatory greetings and hugs. With the way the door to the kitchen stood open, you could only see parts of the living room, but you had a perfect view of the front door. You, however, were somewhat hidden by one of Yerim’s plant. Essentially, you stood in the perfect spot to observe without being observed yourself.

“I thought you hated these chips.”

Your head whipped around at his voice and you realised only now he was already standing next to you, fingers grabbing the chip you had been about to eat. A gasp slipped past your lips as you watched him throw the chip into his mouth and lean against the table, shifting his whole weight onto the table.

“Yoongs!” you said, exasperated, but he didn’t care at all, grabbing a handful as he watched Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook exchange pleasantries at the front door.

“Didn’t you say the last time we hung out that these were too stale and bland in your opinion?” he asked, eyes never leaving the people at the front door, and you shrugged, plopping another stale and bland chip into your mouth.

“Opinions change.”

“That was last week.”

“Fine, so maybe they are too stale and bland in my opinion, but Yeri doesn’t have anything else,” you grumbled and threw another chip into your mouth, barely allowing yourself time to swallow and realise (again) just how horrible these chips were and why exactly you hated them.

“Shouldn’t you be saying hello right now?” you asked with a furrow of your brows and Yoongi scoffed.

“Why would I? I don’t live here. Yeri does,” Yoongi said with a scrunch of his nose. “Also, these are fucking horrible.” He looked at the chip in his hand with narrowed eyes. “God, they are stale and bland. I think these are those healthy chips or whatever.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you said, not really caring about the chips anymore, “but you haven’t met Heejin yet.” You nodded into her direction. “You should say hello.”

“Shouldn’t we all say hello to her regardless of if we’ve met her before or not?” Yoongi asked, plopping another chip into his mouth seconds after complaining about them. “So, shouldn’t you too?”

“I- Yeah, technically, I guess. But it’s different for you,” you argued.

Yoongi scoffed and shook his head, pausing a little as he focused on Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook again before snapping out of it. 

“I tell you what,” Yoongi started before shoving a handful of chips into his mouth, chewing to the end before continuing, “you go over there and say hello and then, I’ll do the same thing.”

You stared at Yoongi, but he didn’t meet your gaze, enjoying the view of Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook in the distance instead, and you huffed before mumbling underneath your breath for him to forget it. Both of you ate chips in silence for a few more seconds before he nudged your elbow with his hand, accidentally dropping a chip when he moved a little too quickly, but he didn’t mind or care at all.

“Tae’s going in,” Yoongi informed you and at his words, you looked up to see that, yes, Taehyung was, in fact, walking up to Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook, a strained smile on his lips.

“Yeah, probably because we aren’t,” you mumbled and Yoongi hummed in agreement. “Always there to save the day.”

“Look at Yeri’s panicked smile,” Yoongi said and pointed at her, and as much as you tried not to, you laughed a little, eliciting one from him.

“We’re bad people, Yoongs,” you snorted and he shook his head at you as he watched the horror unfold in front of him. 

“They haven’t made up yet, have they?” Yoongi asked and judging from the way Taehyung and Jungkook were hugging each other (or, well, actually not hugging each other because they were doing that awkward thing Jungkook and you had done the last time you had ‘hugged’ each other, and that was definitely not a hug.), it was obvious what the answer was.

“Obviously not,” you said and reached for your glass of water to wash down the salt. “Things are better though. Last time, they were ready to jump each other’s throats.”

Yoongi snorted and it was then that you remembered and looked over to him.

“Remember how I asked you for Tae’s address? Why didn’t you tell me he was crashing at your place then?”

A smirk formed on Yoongi’s lips and you wanted nothing more than to throw your glass of water into his face. The fact that he was still not looking at you only added to your irritation and frustration with him. 

“You told me not to tell Tae and Yeri, so I didn’t.”

“Yoongi!” you growled and jabbed him in his ribs, eliciting a breath from him. “You should have told me! Do you know how weird it was when he opened the door? You’re impossible sometimes.”

You scrunched up your brows and gritted your teeth, but Yoongi just cackled next to you, obviously enjoying your misery very much.

“You know what?” you asked and put down your glass of water with a little more force than necessary. “I take it back. We aren’t bad people. You are. You’re straight up a dick.”

“Oh, I never agreed with you,” Yoongi said and you frowned at his words, not getting what he was saying. “I know that I’m a bad person, but, trust me, you’re definitely not.”

Your frown deepened and you were about to ask him what he was talking about when Yoongi finally looked at you and stopped eating the chips, letting the few pieces in his hand fall back in the bowl. He dusted off his hand and straightened up to look at you properly.

“Look around yourself, Y/N,” he said and threw his hands into the air. “We’re at a fake game night party or whatever this thing is that you forced Yeri to throw, so you could act ‘annoyed’ with Taehyung because you’re fake dating him and you’re only fake dating him because that dumbass ex of yours, who is also somehow our dear friend, Jeon fucking Jungkook, forgot to tell his current girlfriend that you dated during high school.”

You tore your gaze away and bit on your tongue, trying desperately not to squirm underneath Yoongi’s gaze.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Yoongi continued and you lowered your head, squeezing your eyes shut. “This is literally the dumbest thing ever. You’re making sure Jungkook, who, again, I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, is your ex, keeps his current girlfriend because he, again, was a dumbass and forgot to tell her about you. And on top of that, he’s been acting like a complete fucking asshole to you.

“Obviously. you’re not a bad person. You’re a fucking saint for putting up with and doing all of this.”

“It’s not like that-”

“Don’t try to convince me otherwise, Y/N,” Yoongi cut in and shoved his face with chips again before regretting it immediately and scrunching up his face in disgust. You peeled your eyes open just in time to watch him drink all of your water, but this time you didn’t complain. You simply sighed and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“I hurt him-”

“And?” Yoongi argued with a groan. “Stop blaming yourself for everything. We hate it if you do that. If Yeri wasn’t so freaking weak and had stuck to our agreement, this wouldn’t be happening right now.”

You shook your head and pressed your lips together. Yoongi didn’t understand, didn’t understand just what you had done and how much you had actually hurt Jungkook. In fact, none of your friends understood, understood why it wasn’t as easy as they seemed to think it was.

They hadn’t been there when you had told Jungkook you were going, hadn’t been there to witness him crumble apart in front of, hadn’t been there as his anger took over him and consumed him whole, hadn’t been there when Jungkook’s begs for this to be a joke turned into deafening screams and ultimately into bitter words.

“Out!” 

You flinched, flinched because Jungkook had never raised his voice withyou, had never looked at you like that. There was no warmth, no light, no love swimming in his eyes. All you could find was anger and pain, and you wished you could say you weren’t the reason for all of that.

His face contorted and hardened into something unreadable, something you had never seen before, and you wanted to soothe over every line, wanted to kiss them over and over again until they were gone. Even with the anger etched onto his face, Jungkook was painfully beautiful, heartbreakingly so.

“Please. Just let me explain, babe-”

“No!” Jungkook cut in and pointed at you, finger jabbing the air like it had wronged him and not you. Your heart rang in your ears and you were almost certain he could hear it too, hear it thumping in your chest. 

“Kook, please-”

“Do not call me ‘Kook’. I’m not fucking ‘Kook’ or ‘babe’ or even fucking ‘Jungkook’ to you. You’ve got no right to call me by my name anymore!”

A new wave of tears streamed down your face at his words. They pierced through you like bullets, hitting you in rapid succession and at the end, you were laying on the floor, on the brink of death.

“You’ve decided to- decided to leave me, no, us for your stupid adventure. You’ve fucking decided to break our promise! Remember our stupid fucking promise of forever?” Jungkook pressed through gritted teeth and took a step towards you, hands waving wildly around him. “You don’t get to say my name, don’t get to act like everything’s fucking fine and I’m your ‘Kook’ or ‘babe’ or whatever the fuck you call me after breaking it!”

You hiccuped and let your head hang as the realisation dawned on you that he was gone. He had slipped out of your reach and walked, no, ran away. He had put oceans and continents between you two, and there was no more asking him to come back anymore.

You knew then, he and you were done.

More curses slipped past Jungkook’s lips, but you couldn’t hear them, couldn’t hear the accusations he threw at you. For that, your heart was breaking and sobbing far too loudly in your chest.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, how long you stood there and cried your eyes out as he paced up and down his room, but by the time, you managed to lift your head, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees and hands folded together with his gaze stuck to the floor.

And you weren’t sure how much time passed, how long you stared at him until he opened his mouth again.

“I really really love you,” Jungkook mumbled through gritted teeth and you knew he wished he didn’t love you anymore.

You wanted to grab him, cup his face and whisper into his ear over and over again just how sorry you were, whisper into his ear until words stopped making sense and the stars rained from the darkened sky.

“I really do,” Jungkook scoffed, but tears spilled from his eyes, involuntarily and far too many. Too proud to cry in front of you now, Jungkook covered his face with his hand and sank his teeth into his bottom lip, but even then, he couldn’t silence the sobs and sniffs. They banged on the walls of his throat and bursted through his lips.

And you hated it, hated seeing him like this, hated seeing his entire body shake and tremble, hated seeing his face contort in pain, hated seeing the tears collect at his chin and drip to the floor, hated seeing his lips quiver uncontrollably, hated seeing him desperately try to keep it together.

You hated seeing Jungkook cry.

But he was, and all because of you.

You were to blame, to blame for the state Jungkook was in right now. You had inflicted that pain on him, had broken and shattered his heart, had made him cry.

“Please, just let me explain-”

“There’s nothing to explain, Y/N,” he said, a sob erupting from his lips again, and you shook your head, trying so desperately to say something, but your tongue was tied into a messy knot. You wanted to tell him that there was so much you wanted to say, so much that needed to be explained, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, couldn’t bring yourself to form the words necessary.

Slowly, Jungkook looked up to you, hand falling into his lap, and when your eyes met his, your heart raptured in your chest. His features were twisted in pain and agony as the tears scared his beautiful face.

“You’re leaving.” Jungkook whispered it into the silence like you didn’t know. 

“You’re leaving me.”

You closed your eyes at his words, shaking your head like you were about to disagree, but you couldn’t, couldn’t even bring yourself to make a single sound. 

The anger in Jungkook’s voice had dissipated into the air and been replaced by disappointment and hurt. And if you had to say which one was worse, Jungkook screaming at you or Jungkook simply looking at you with tears streaming down his face, you would choose the latter every fucking day.

Because without the anger and the screams to numb you, to silence your thoughts and mind, it was obvious, glaringly obvious. 

You had broken Jungkook.

“I hope you’re happy,” Jungkook continued, voice cracking in the worst way possible, and a deaf man could have heard that he was lying, could have heard the bitterness swinging in his words.

“I hope you’re happy knowing you’ve hurt me.”

“You don’t get it, Yoongs,” you mumbled quietly to yourself before looking at your hands. “None of you do.”

You had always preferred game night over film night. You just always thought that it was so much more fun to play games than to sit in darkness and watch some film half of you didn’t watch anyway or had already watched. Your competitiveness and need to win certainly played into your preference of game night over film night. But right now, you would choose film night over game night any day, would never have another game night ever again if that meant you could switch to having a film night now instead.

You really had no idea what Yerim had been thinking when she had decided to draw lots to determine the teams. 

“So, we need a total of seven points to beat them, right? Both rounds?” Heejin asked you and you nodded, your heart racing more and more as you waited for the game to begin.

2 rounds of Taboo. 90 seconds to get through as many words as possible.

“You sure you don’t wanna be the one explaining? I’m sure you’re better at this than I am,” you said and Heejin shook her head at you.

“Trust me, I’m definitely worse than you,” she smiled. “If we wanna win, it’s best if Kook and you do the explaining.”

“Are you ready, Y/N?” Yerim asked you, her finger hovering above the start button, and you turned around to her before nodding. It was a complete lie, you weren’t ready, but you didn’t think you were ever going to be. 

You always got nervous right before you started playing a game, but this time, it was different, different because it mattered so much more if you won or not. Never had you wanted to win more, and the thought of possibly losing had your stomach churning. You couldn’t disappoint, disappoint him because you knew that he was just as competitive as you, if not more so.

“Go!”

You picked up the first card and scanned it.

Tattoos

Ink

Permanent

Skin

“Okay, uh,” you turned around and looked at Heejin and Jungkook, “they are like paintings or sketches.”

“Black and white paintings?” Heejin guessed and you shook your head, biting your lip as you thought of something else to say.

“Uh,” you tucked a strand behind your ear before looking at him, “ you always said you wanted them and they can be in any colour.”

“You always said you wanted them and they can be in any colour‘? What is she talking about?” Taehyung laughed at your poor attempt at describing the word ‘Tattoos’ and you started to panic even more.

“Stop guessing. You’re not on her team,” Yoongi said with a slap to his arm and Taehyung simply dismissed him with a wave of his hand, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Once you get them, they’re forever.”

“Jesus, Y/N, did you get worse at this?” Taehyung laughed and you could hear Yerim’s laugh mix with his. You couldn’t blame them though because you were really struggling to come up with a way to explain ‘Tattoos’.

“Why is Y/N describing and not Kook? Wasn’t he always better at this than her?” Yerim asked and you regretted not putting up more of a fight when Heejin had told Jungkook and you to do the explaining. 

You had always been better at guessing and Jungkook had always been the one better at explaining. You had your roles, but with Heejin on your team now and refusing to do the explaining, you had to step up.

“You got into this huge fight with your parents once because they didn’t like them- oh, you’ve got some now on your freaking hand!”

“Tattoos!” Jungkook exclaimed and you let out a squeal. A smile flashed across your lips before you nodded at him and picked up the next card, the previous card landing on the floor.

Valentine

 February 14

Red

Love 

“45 Seconds,” Yerim said and you turned to Heejin and Jungkook with wide eyes, quickly starting to explain.

“Okay, uh,” you said and tucked a strand behind your ear, brain trying to come up with a way to word this correctly. “It’s a holiday at the start of the year.”

“New Years?” Heejin said and you shook your head at her.

“Later.”

“What holiday is at the start of the year but not New Years?” Taehyung asked and once again, Yoongi slapped his arm, telling him not to guess.

“Easter?” Heejin said and you shook your head.

“30 Seconds,” Yerim interjected and you wanted to curse at her because this was really stressing you out.

“Fuck, uh,” you turned to Jungkook. “We always made fun of it because we thought it was just so commercialised.” You gestured wildly around yourself. “It’s for couples-”

“Oh, Valentine! February 14th-”

You cheered once more before picking up the next card, letting the other one fall to the floor once more.

Harry Potter

Film

Scar

Magic

“Uh, this is easy” you mumbled. “It’s a fictional character.”

“Sherlock Holmes? Iron Man?”

“No, let me finish first,” you shot back with urgency in your voice. “ He’s really famous-”

“Iron Man!”

“No, God, just let me finish!” you groaned and Jungkook sat back down a little more, lips pressing together to let you talk. Heejin smiled next to him and placed her hand on his knee, trying to calm him, but Jungkook had his eyes fixed on you, desperately trying to get that win.

“15 Seconds,” Yerim smiled, definitely enjoying the distress in your eyes far too much.

“Okay, uh, we can get this one,” you said, stumbling over your own words. 

“You can do, like, quizzes.”  You looked at Jungkook once more. “We did them too!” You gestured between him and you. “You got really pressed because you got Hufflepuff, but you wanted-”

“Oh, Harry Potter,” Jungkook said and snapped his fingers.

“Time’s up!” Yerim said and you dropped the card in your hand.

“Three points, right?” Heejin counted on her fingers and turned to Jungkook and you. 

You let out a long sigh, feeling the stress wash out of you a little because now, you got to do the part you were actually good at, guessing.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded as he got up and stretched, preparing himself for the next 90 seconds. “So, four points.”

You walked past Jungkook, slumping into the seat he had just sat in. Your heart was still beating way too fast and the adrenaline was pumping through your veins like a bullet train.

“We can do this, right?” Jungkook asked and turned back around, standing in the middle of the room. When you realised he was looking at you, talking to you, you could feel the heat creep up your neck. “You know, like we used to?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you muttered, far too embarrassed to respond properly. He blinked at you before nodding and walking up to Yerim, who was shuffling the cards.

“‘Like we used to’?” Heejin asked and turned to you with a furrow of her brows. You cursed Jungkook and slowly nodded.

“Yeah, uh, he and I were kinda always a team when we played Taboo,” you said before cleaning your throat and avoiding Heejin’s gaze as much as you could.

“Dream team,” Taehyung interjected and you rolled your eyes at him, leaning towards Heejin a little too slap his shoulder.

“‘Dream team’?” Heejin asked, but before you could answer, Yerim, thankfully, interrupted.

“Next round!” she announced and turned to Jungkook, nodding at him when he did. “Go.”

Immediately, Jungkook picked up a card and you turned around again, putting all of your focus on him and winning.

“So, this is something I want but it’s not a thing or object. It’s, like, alive.”

“Dog?” you started and he quickly shook his head. 

“Cat?” Heejin tried and before Jungkook could shake his head, you interrupted.

“No, he wants a dog, not a cat,” you mumbled, brows furrowing together as you thought about Jungkook’s words, trying to figure out what he was talking about until you got it. “Oh, a family!”

“Yes!” Jungkook grinned and gestured for you to think further. “Right, but that’s not it. When you have a family, you have-” 

“Kids?” You quirked a brow at him and Jungkook nodded.

“Okay, right, another word for kids is-?”

“Children!”

“Yes!” Jungkook cheered and grinned at you before throwing the card away and grabbing a new one. He read it and nodded to himself.

“It’s once a year, but not a holiday.”

“Not a holiday?” Yoongi mumbled quietly to himself even though he had told Taehyung not to guess.

“Say more,” you told him and Jungkook sighed, wrecking his brain before pointing at you.

“It’s your favourite day of the year and- You get a bunch of presents and, oh! We threw you a surprise-”

“Surprise party?”

“Yeah, but why did we-”

“My birthday! Is it birthday?”

Jungkook beamed at you and you mirrored him, beaming right back. Your heart was pounding in your chest, but now, it was out of excitement. You could practically taste the win on the tip of your tongue. 

“Okay, uh, this is hard,” Jungkook sighed after picking up the next card. He frowned before looking up. “It’s something you can eat.”

“Food.”

“Yeah, but that’s only the second word,” he said and gestured for you to think further again. “Like, ice cream-”

“Ice cream food? Food ice cream? Ice food cream?” you blurted all out, screaming one word after another, and Jungkook frowned at you.

“‘Ice food cream’? Maybe you’re not that good at guessing,” Jungkook laughed with a shake of your head, and you rolled your eyes at him, mumbling underneath your breath that it had been a long time, but your words fell on deaf ears. “No, it’s not ice food cream. It’s something you shouldn’t eat much of.”

“Sugar?” you guessed, but Jungkook shook his head at you.

“45 seconds,” Yerim said and Jungkook and you looked at each other, eyes wide. The need to win sparkled in both of your eyes and quickly, panic rushed through you, replacing the excitement.

“Say more-”

“There isn’t more. You’ve just gotta think- food is the second word!”

“But what about ice cream? Why did you-”

“Ice cream is-”

“Cold?”

Jungkook groaned, “No, I don’t mean cold.”

His brows furrowed together as he wrecked his brain before he thought of something and pointed at you again. “Okay, uh, we used to go to this one place all the time! Remember our midnight dinners? And the category of food that they sell is what we’re looking for.”

“Oh! McDonalds!” You snapped your fingers. “Junk Food!”

When Jungkook nodded at you, you squealed, watching him turn around and pick up the next card.

“If they get this next point, they won, right?” Yoongi asked Taehyung, but you answered.

“Yeah, we beat you then, losers,” you grinned and Jungkook laughed at your words before he turned to the card in his hand, scanning it.

“They’re really good at this, aren’t they?” Heejin asked Taehyung and leaned into him to make sure neither Jungkook nor you could hear her. Not that you two would have anyway, far too focused on the game at hand to pay her any attention, completely forgetting that she was on your team too.

“Yeah, both are incredibly competitive, so they work well together. Like, they practically always know what the other is thinking,” Taehyung mumbled as he watched you shuffle in your seat, not noticing the way Heejin looked at him at all.

You raised your brows when you saw Jungkook freeze up upon reading the card. His jaw didn’t go slack nor did his eyes go wide, but you could see, could see right away that something was wrong.

“Uh? What’s wrong?” you started, but even then Jungkook didn’t look up, eyes fixed on the card in front of him. Slowly, the others seemed to notice too, heads turning to see a frozen Jungkook. 

“20 Seconds.”

You exchanged a glance with Taehyung, but he shrugged at you, and so, you looked at Yerim for some help as she stood right next to Jungkook. She squinted as she tried to read the card herself.

“Oh, shit,” she blurted out and pressed her hand on her mouth when she realised that she had spoken without meaning to. She looked at Jungkook, mouth opening as she struggled to decide to say something or not, but then he snapped out of it.

Jungkook glanced at Yerim’s phone in her hand and looked up to you, eyes locking with yours like before, but this time, it was different. You immediately felt that there was a shift and you had a feeling that it was bad.

“It’s, like, a place you could say.” Jungkook’s voice quivered the tiniest bit, but you noticed immediately. You raised your brows and leaned even more forward, as if you could coax the word out of Jungkook that way.

“Really big,” he continued and looked at you like you should know what he was talking about now. When you furrowed your brows at you, he sighed, “You were there for the past four years.”

“Oh.”

Your entire face dropped as the realisation dawned on you and you sat back. You felt Taehyung eyeing you with worry etched onto his face, about to say something, but Yoongi put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Only Heejin was more lost than ever, but you paid no one any attention, far too shocked to say anything. 

All of the memories, all of the memories connected to America and all of the pain it had caused not only you but Jungkook when you had left to go there, hit you so hard you feared whiplash. 

“5.”

You tried to say something, tried to give the answer because you knew it and you really didn’t want to lose, but somehow you just couldn’t. Your voice was gone, had disappeared. The word didn't hurt you, but you knew it hurt him, and that was one thing you didn’t want to do ever again.

“4.”

Jungkook and you kept eye contact as Yerim counted the seconds and you watched his brows furrow together and his lips press together in a thin line. He was debating internally, trying to figure out what he wanted, if the win was worth it, worth the memories and pain.

“3.”

Your eyes were fixed on him and when you saw Jungkook sigh a little and nod at you, you knew right away what he was telling you.

“2.”

You nodded at him too.

“America-”

“1.”

And even though Jungkook had told you to say it, the guilt still bubbled up and formed icicles in your lungs, piercing tiny holes in them, and you could feel the blood slowly filter in, suffocating you.

Jungkook and you kept staring at each other, and you should look away because there was no reason for both of you to be still looking at each other, but you couldn’t. 

“Does it still count?” Heejin asked, breaking the silence, and looked at Yerim.

Yerim’s eyes were trained on Jungkook and you, and only when you two tore your gazes away and looked at her, did she speak up. 

“Yeah, it counts.”

Jungkook and you whipped your heads around, looking at each other with big eyes. For a second, both of you didn’t know how to react, but then, the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. Your lips split apart into a big grin and squeals and cheers escaped you two. You jumped up and Jungkook ran towards you, hands held up for high-fives. You reciprocated it and both of you beamed at each other.

“We won!” 

Jungkook laughed at your words and nodded, eyes softening as he watched the joy spread on your face.

“Yeah, we did.”

His words were soft, incredibly soft. A whispered secret almost. 

“Yeah, we did,” Jungkook repeated with a nod and a smile. “We did.”

You looked at Jungkook and even though you should look away again, you couldn’t. You two were locked into each other’s eyes, locked into each other’s eyes like it was just Jungkook and you in this room, in this world, in this universe, like you were falling in love with one another all over again.

And for a moment, it truly felt like that, felt like it was just him and you in this room, in this world, in this universe.

But then, his gaze flickered to Heejin.

Your eyes grew wide at the same time and your smiles almost slipped off your faces before you both turned to Heejin and let out another round of cheers and squeals.

“We won, Heejin!” Jungkook said and you held up your hand for a high-five. She blinked at both of you and you thought she was going to ask you two what the fuck that just was, confront you on forgetting her for the second half of the game, but then a smile split apart on her face.

“Yeah, isn’t that great?” she smiled and gave you a high-five.

After another round of Taboo and a few rounds of Charades and Pictionary (which you all won), you were exhausted, definitely spread thin. The adrenaline got to you, but so did actively avoiding your friends’ stares and trying not to get too swept up in the games and forgetting about Heejin again. So, when no one paid attention to you, busy with cleaning up and preparing for the next game, Werewolf, you snuck away.

“Best part of Yeri’s tiny flat, isn’t it?”

You didn’t turn around at Yoongi’s voice.

“Truly is.”

Yerim had a tiny flat, but she had a balcony. It was tucked behind the kitchen and, you had almost not seen it when you had walked in and looked for some peace and quiet. Yerim’s fridge blocked the glass door a little because, after all, the flat was tiny and so was the kitchen. 

The railing of the small balcony was lined with flowers, flowers that Yerim had texted you far too much about, flowers that had gone from blooming to dying to almost blooming to what they are now, almost dying.

Yerim had sent you pictures of the view when she had first moved in, but standing on here yourself was different. Truth be told, the view wasn’t the best, wasn’t breathtaking, nothing compared to the view you had gotten to enjoy at the restaurant, but it was enough to ground you, calm you down and give you the sense of peace and quiet you had looked for.

“You okay?”

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at Yoongi, offering him a smile as you nodded.

“Yeah,” you said.

“That’s nice,” he hummed before leaning against the railing with his arms, careful not to hurt the flowers. “You sure, though?”

Yoongi peered up at you and you thought about his words for a moment. You had truly thought that this would be worse, that it would be awkward and weird as hell, but you had to say it wasn’t. When Jungkook turned out to be your partner (You had Yerim to thank for that. How was drawing lots to determine the teams a good idea?), you had truly thought that things were only going to go down from there. To your surprise, they didn’t.

There had been some tension between Jungkook and you, but the moment you picked up the first card and desperately tried to explain ‘Tattoos’ to him, both of you completely forgot about it, and instead worked together to win.

So, with a smile, you mirrored Yoongi’s stance, resting your elbows on the railing like him and leaning forward before letting your cheek fall into your open palm and turning to him.

“Yes, I’m sure, Yoongs,” you said. “Thanks for asking.”

Yoongi blinked at you before chuckling quietly to himself and turning his head away, eyes watching the sun dip below the horizon.

“How are you though? You okay?” you asked and watched as Yoongi let out a long and heavy sigh, eyes staying on the horizon.

“I hate this. So, wouldn’t say I’m okay.”

“You do? Sure you’re not hating this because you’re losing constantly?” you teased.

“Yes, Y/N, I do and, yes, I’m sure it’s not because I’m constantly losing. I’m not Kook or you. I don’t need to win. I don’t care that much,” Yoongi said with a roll of his eyes and another sigh. “You realise how dumb all of this is, right?”

You looked at Yoongi, raising your brows at him.

“We’re only doing this so you can act annoyed with Tae and then you two can break up or whatever, right?” he asked you and you nodded. “And that’s what’s dumb about this.”

You tilted your head at him, eyes narrowing as you tried to figure out what exactly he thought was dumb about your plan.

Yoongi sighed once more. “You realise you don’t owe Heejil, or whatever her name is, an explanation, right? Fucking just text her that you’re broken up. Or, you know, better yet, don’t tell her because, again, you don’t owe her anything. She isn’t a friend of ours. She’s just the girl your ex and our dumbass friend is dating.” 

The annoyance was dripping from his voice as you continued staring at him. “Or, like, make up some story and the next time she sees you, just tell her that. You think she’s really gonna question that? She doesn’t know when you or Tae are lying.”

You blinked at Yoongi because how had none of you thought of that before? He was right. You didn’t owe Heejin any sort of explanation, but here you were, meeting up to put on a whole show (that you didn’t even put on) to give her some sort of explanation.

Yoongi seemed to be able to hear his words click in your mind because he scoffed at you. “You guys are fucking dumbasses.”

Now, you scoffed too, scoffed at yourself because, once again, Yoongi was right. You were dumbasses and you couldn’t believe neither Taehyung nor Jungkook nor you thought of this.

“Shit.”

Yoongi chuckled and shook his head at you, the corners of his lips turned downwards.

“Yeah, shit.”

You pressed your lips together as you let Yoongi’s words fully sink in with you, dawn on you and float away.

“Hey, guys.”

Yoongi and you turned around at Yerim’s voice, straightening up in an instant. You watched her slide the glass door open, a bowl of chips pressed to her chest as she stepped out.

“What are you two doing out here?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“Oh, we-”

“Hiding,” Yoongi stated like it wouldn’t get you two in trouble and you whipped your head around to him, hand hitting his arm as you fixed him with a glare.

“Yoongs,” you growled, but he just laughed a little and rolled his eyes at you.

“Hiding?” Yerim questioned with a raise of her brows and tapped her foot like a mother about to scold her children.

“Yeah, hiding,” Yoongi continued and gripped the railing behind him, leaning against it. “We didn’t want to subject ourselves to that bullshit out there any longer. It’s really weird out there.”

“Yoongs, don’t say that. Yeri put effort into today. It’s not that weird-”

“Nope, Yoongs is right,” Yerim sighed and uncrossed her arms, tension washing out of her in an instant. She took a handful of chips and shoved them into her mouth, and as she chewed, a pout formed on her lips. “It’s weird as fuck outside. I don’t know what we’re doing really. Like, we’re playing games and everything and I guess it’s fun or whatever, but something’s just kinda off.”

Yerim shook her head and Yoongi grabbed a couple of chips as he chuckled at her words.

“Told you,” he said and you shoved him away when he grinned into your face, not appreciating the smugness. 

“I mean,” Yerim started again before eating another handful of the chips, “you’re right. Heejin’s nice, but I honestly think she makes things weird-”

“You think it’s Heejin?” Yoongi laughed with a shake of his head before pointing at you. “It’s Y/N and Kook. They’re the ones making it weird.”

“Excuse you? How am I making it weird?” you asked with big eyes, swatting Yoongi’s hand away,

“Please,” Yoongi scoffed with a raise of his brow. “How are you not making it weird? Kook and you are totally in your own world. It’s like you two are dating again, and we’re all, like, six wheeling.”

You scoffed and stared at Yoongi with your jaw open. Your hands balled up into fists at your side and you shook your head at him.

“Bullshit,” you said. “It’s not like that at all.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” Yoongi said, enjoying the way you got all worked up. And before you could stop him, he had placed his hand against your forehead. “Woah, your face’s literally heating up.”

You shoved his hand away, lips pressing together into a line as you shook your head at him and waved him off.

“Bullshit,” you pressed through gritted teeth. “It’s just the sun. It’s summer. It’s hot.”

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi scoffed at your reasoning, and you were about to curse at him when you realised that you getting worked up was exactly what he wanted.

You turned to Yerim for backup, but she simply stared into her bowl of chips and shoved her face with it, actively avoiding your gaze. A scoff slipped past your lips and you mumbled curses aimed at Yoongi underneath your breath, deliberately ignoring the fact that it was definitely not hot enough today for your face to warm up like that.

Yoongi was ridiculous, definitely ridiculous. Jungkook and you just get carried away when you play games. You were competitive, nothing more. 

Your heart definitely only beat so hard and fast in your chest because the adrenaline was pumping through your veins, and you were only so incredibly happy about winning a stupid game of Taboo because it had been a long time since you had played against your friends, making the wins even sweeter.

It was nothing, nothing like Yoongi had said.

Jungkook and you were acting nothing like you two used to when you dated.

“Uh.”

All three of you looked up at the interruption, and your breath hitched in your throat when you saw him. He stood there, gripping the handle of the glass door as he awkwardly shifted from one foot to another. A tiny smile pulled on the corners of his lips while he looked between Yerim and Yoongi, but not you.

“Hey, Kook,” Yerim said and did this terribly awkward dance with Jungkook as she tried to step away and make some space for him, but there was none left, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. The fact that you were upset just seconds ago was completely forgotten.

“Sorry,” you mumbled between laughs when Yerim turned around to glare at you, and you had to bite your lip to hide the grin that tugged on the corners of your lips. 

Yoongi eyed you with narrowed eyes before he shook his head and sighed. He kicked himself off the railing, and his hand landed on Yerim’s shoulder, stopping her from continuing this terrible dance with Jungkook and drawing her attention to him.

“Yeri, didn’t you want to show me this one thing that you got recently?” 

“What?” Yerim furrowed her brows at him and it took Yoongi raising his brow at her for her to get it. An uneasy and tense smile stretched across her lips before she nodded her head, far too vigorously. 

“Ah, yes, right. That, uh, thing. I- I remember. Let’s check it out, yeah?” Yerim laughed, and you frowned at her words, not believing her even for a second.

Your gaze drilled into Yoongi to ask him what the hell he was thinking he was doing, but he was avoiding your gaze expertly. And when you looked over to Yerim, she had essentially buried her face into the bowl of chips, and you wanted to throw it over your shoulder and demand her to look at you. 

Without really meaning to, your gaze travelled to Jungkook. When you looked at him, his eyes were already on you. His expression was unreadable and you didn’t know what he was thinking, but you knew that it was a bad idea for Yerim and Yoongi to leave you alone with him, knew that you didn’t want them to walk away. Because what were Jungkook and you? Back to being friends? Was it okay to laugh and tease each other now? Or was Jungkook still mad at you?

But before you could say something, Yerim and Yoongi had walked away, had left you standing alone on the balcony with Jungkook right in front of you.

He didn’t step out, didn’t join you on the balcony, and instead chose to stand at the glass door with his hand still gripping the handle. It was like he was ready to slam the door shut and walk away if things started to get a little too much for him, if this conversation didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to.

And you gnawed on your lip as he stared at you, stared at you like he had done before when you two had won your first round of Taboo. Just before the silence got too unbearable to handle and the tension too thick for you to breathe in, Jungkook opened his mouth.

“I missed you.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, stopped in your chest like maybe if it stopped, time would stop and you would get to enjoy the moment a little longer. You had no idea how long you simply blinked at Jungkook, but by the time you finally managed to get your thoughts together and properly look at him, he was shifting from one foot to another with his knuckles white around the grip of the glass door and his eyes dancing around, looking at everything except you.

“What?”

When Jungkook spoke up again, there was the slightest quiver in his voice. The slightest quiver that told you just how nervous and uncertain he was, how much he feared you laughing into his face.

“I meant it when I said it. I missed you.”

It didn’t sound like a joke, didn’t sound like he was messing with you at all, but it still took your brain seemingly forever to comprehend his words, to realise that he was completely and utterly serious.

“You did?” you asked in a whisper and Jungkook’s gaze found the floor, a breathy chuckle escaping him before he nodded.

“Yeah, I did.”

You blinked at him before your lips curled up into the softest smile.

“I did too.”

Jungkook raised his head and looked at you, and you watched the corners of his lips curl up into the most beautiful and dazzling smile. This time when he smiled at you, it was nothing like the smile he had given you when you had sat in his living room or when you had both realised you had won. No, this smile was different. It was the smile you had dreamt of every night, was the smile you had remembered every morning, was the smile you had longed to see on his lips again ever since you had first seen it.

It was the smile Jungkook showed you when he had whispered the three words for the first time, 

“I love you.”

And so, your heart surged in your chest, rose above and beyond, reached the sky and the stars, touched the sun and moon, and when she fell back down, she didn’t land in your hands. No, she landed in his hands.

“I missed having you around, you know,” Jungkook started, voice still quivering as he spoke. “I missed being able to call you up or text you and talk about everything and anything until we both just fell asleep. I missed showing up at your doorstep and going out for our midnight dinners with you. I missed laughing at other couples for stressing over Valentine before going out ourselves and being one of those stupid cheesy couples we made fun of.

“I missed having my best friend around.”

Jungkook stepped out on the balcony and closed the glass door behind him, hands at his side. There was a heavy sigh, and instantly, you knew. Slowly, his gaze met yours and he stared into your eyes with that look, that look that broke you.

“Why did you have to leave me?”

You sank your teeth into your lip and wrung your hands together, chest rising and falling far too quickly as you ran out of breath simply thinking of the answer. There was so much weighing on you, so many things you wanted to say, but couldn’t say, couldn’t because you couldn’t handle it, not even years later.

“You know why,” you breathed out, eyes searching the floor for words, for words that would escape you.

“Please, tell me again,” Jungkook asked and you wanted to ask him why he wanted to know, why he so desperately wanted to bring it all up again when he and you had done such a good job tiptoeing around it before.

“I-” You shook your head at yourself and you thought that maybe Jungkook would interrupt you and tell you he had changed his mind and didn’t want to hear it again if you paused, but his silence demanded for an answer. 

So, you gave him one, one that was worded badly and didn’t even begin to explain why you left, but it was an answer, the most you could do right now.

“I- it was my dream,” you managed to croak out and you expected a scoff, but Jungkook simply looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “It was my dream to study in America. So, I did it. I- I fulfilled my dream.”

The quietest sigh escaped Jungkook and even though you could barely hear it, you felt your heart tumble in his hands at the sound of, felt her start to slip through his fingers.

“Have I ever told you what my dream was?”

You looked up at his question  and shook your head, unable to make a single sound, not to mention say something.

Jungkook smiled to himself before he wandered over to you, feet stopping right where Yoongi had stood, next to you. And once again, you noticed the gap, the gap between him and you, the gap that seemed to never really close.

“I’ve had it since the start of high school, but unlike you, I didn’t fulfill it,” Jungkook started, eyes gazing into the sky. “I still want it and I do think I’m gonna fulfill it one day, but I don’t think I’m gonna do it the way I thought I would.”

Jungkook shook his head and you were really not sure how to process his words, or what he was trying to tell you. 

“It’s stupid and childish, I guess, but I really thought I would fulfill it, fulfill it the way I had dreamt of.” Jungkook laughed to himself before he fell quiet again.

Slowly, he turned to you, eyes glazing over as he looked at you, looked at you with his incredibly beautiful eyes. You could see the warmth, the light, the love in them, but there seemed to be something else swimming in his pupils, and you hated it when you realised what it was. 

Sadness.

You bit on your tongue as you watched the wind blow through Jungkook’s fluffy hair and mess it all up, and even then, Jungkook was still breathtakingly gorgeous. And with the sun going down behind you, the most beautiful and heartbreaking halo was cast upon him, surrounding him, hugging him.

“You were my dream, Y/N.”

Your heart didn’t fall to the ground and shatter into pieces because she tumbled too much in Jungkook’s hands. She fell to the ground and shattered into pieces because Jungkook didn’t hold on tight enough, because he couldn’t hold on tight enough.

“You and me, forever. Together. A house, a kid or two, maybe a dog. Really, anything you wanted. That was my dream,” Jungkook whispered, words slipping off his tongue quietly and slowly, like it was a secret, a secret meant to be only shared between him and you.

The corners of Jungkook’s lips curled up into the saddest smile you had ever seen when he continued, “I thought we were going to be together and grow old. I truly thought one day I would get the pleasure and honour of watching you walk down the aisle.”

Jungkook raised his hand and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to cup your face, seemed like he was going to stroke your cheek, but then, he hesitated. It was like he remembered, remembered then that you were not like that anymore, were not dating anymore.

And so, Jungkook shook his head at himself and curled his hand into a tight fist, knuckles turning a painful white before he let his hand drop and swing by his side. It was like if he didn’t curl his hand into a tight enough fist, he would lose and cup your face, stroke your cheek anyway.

“I really thought you were my dream.”

There was no malice in Jungkook’s voice as he spoke. He wasn’t trying to make you feel bad or trying to hurt you. He was simply trying to be truthful, but the truth was ugly and terrible and neither of you liked it very much. But at least, the truth didn’t hurt Jungkook, it only hurt you, only stabbed you in the chest and asked you where your goddamn heart was, only cursed at you for leaving Jungkook, the one boy who had loved you more than anything else in this world.

“Do you regret it?”

You hated that question, hated it so much because, fuck, you didn’t know. You didn’t know if you regretted it, if you regretted leaving Jungkook. You regretted that he and you broke up, regretted the way you two broke up, but did that mean you automatically regretted going to America? Did that mean that going to America was the wrong choice? 

And even though you asked yourself these questions, you didn’t want the answers, didn’t want to know them because, fuck, you were afraid of them, afraid to realise that you regretted both and you had fucked up your chance of true and lasting love with Jungkook and spent all of this time, all these years in a foreign country without your friends and family for nothing.

You lowered your head and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to keep your skull together as it threatened to split open.

In the silence, Jungkook’s steps were loud, ringing in your ears, deafening. And you contorted your face and bit on your lip when you heard Jungkook slide the glass door open, a heavy sigh slipping from his lips before he spoke up, mustering up the best smile he could,

“We’re still gonna bully Yoongs for bullying us, right?”

You chuckled because how could you not? Of course, Jungkook could still make you laugh. It was a sad chuckle, but it was a chuckle no one else could have ever elicited from you.

You lifted your head  and peered at Jungkook over your shoulder, peered at him even though it hurt you to. He was just too beautiful to not look at.

“Yeah, we’ll still bully Yoongs for bullying us.”

You almost didn’t see the way the corners of Jungkook’s lips curled up into something that resembled a smile, almost didn’t see it with the tears swimming in your eyes, blurring your vision.

“Amazing.”

Jungkook nodded at you, fingers tapping the glass door before he turned around and walked away. And even though you shouldn’t, you watched him, watched him slip away more and more, watched him walk away from you.

You turned back around and only realised then that the sun had almost completely dipped below the horizon. The sky was painted an incredibly mellow and sorrowful orange, and even with your heart shattered on the floor and guilt leaving gaping holes in your chest, you had to smile.

And with that smile on your lips, the tears rolled down your cheeks, sparkling in the sunlight as you let them flow, flow because you didn’t see a reason to wipe them away. Sometimes it was good to just cry, let yourself feel.

“Tell me you’re not crying.”

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but you heard them. You pressed your lips together at his words because, of course, he would also come out to talk to you. You really should have expected it, should have expected it because he was simply that great.

“Well, guess you gotta give me a second then,” you said and rubbed on your cheeks, quickly wiping away the tears you knew were going to have his blood boiling and anger unfurling in his stomach.

“Y/N,” Taehyung sighed as he stepped out on the balcony, glass door clicking shut behind you as his hand gripped your elbow and turned you around. 

“What did he say?” You shook your head, smiling at him as much as possible, but your smile did nothing to soothe the deep line between Taehyung’s brow, did nothing to loosen the grip he had around your elbow.

“Tell me. I don’t care if he’s my friend, he’s-”

“No, stop,” you interrupted with a shake of your head and placed your hands on his shoulder, lips splitting into a grin because truly, Taehyung was the greatest, the greatest friend you could have ever wished or asked for. “It’s nothing. He didn’t say anything.”

You knew with the way Taehyung was eyeing you that he didn’t believe you, didn’t believe you for a single second, but you also knew that you could spend hours trying to convince him otherwise and he still wouldn’t believe you.

“You sure you don’t need me to beat him up a little?”

You laughed. “You think you can beat him up?”

Taehyung scoffed at your words and tried his hardest to look offended, but even he had to smile a little. 

“I’d try for you,” he said and you laughed again, shaking your head from left to right. The thought of a beaten up Taehyung popping right into your head.

“Let’s be honest here, he would just beat you up. No offence.”

Now, Taehyung laughed as well, laughed because he knew you were right. And for a moment, both of you only smiled at each other. For a moment, things seemed great and like he wouldn’t bring it up again that you had just been crying.

But just like a wise man once had said, great things always have to come to an end. 

“You shouldn’t feel guilty.”

Taehyung’s smile disappeared and your hands slid off his shoulder. You sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about even though he didn’t specify. 

You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths before humming and peeling your eyes open, head cocking to the side.

“Well, I also shouldn’t stay up so late and get more sleep, but here I am.” Your attempt of humour wasn’t well received at all. Taehyung didn’t even fake a smile at you, and you quickly let yours slip away, realising the weight of the situation and just how serious he was.

“Y/N, I mean it. You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Taehyung said, stressing every word of his last sentence like he wanted to drill it into your head, like he wanted for you to remember it, like he wanted to tattoo it into your skin so you would never forget. 

“It’s not that easy,” you said in a quiet whisper and Taehyung pursed his lips, hands burying into his pockets as he suppressed the sigh from slipping.

“But it’s not like you try either, right? Not like you try to free yourself from all of that guilt,” Taehyung argued and you almost groaned because, once again, he showed you that he had no idea.

“Taehyung, it’s really not that easy. I can’t just wake up and say ‘Well, it’s his fault that he got hurt-’”

“That’s not what I’m asking from you. Yes, you can’t wake up and say that, but you can wake up and say ‘It sucks that Jungkook got hurt by me leaving and was unable to properly forgive me for not telling him earlier, but aside from that I didn’t do anything wrong because I simply chased my dream.’. I’m not asking you to wake up and be all ‘Jungkook can suck a dick.’. That’d be ridiculous, but I’m asking you to stop blaming yourself.”

You tore your gaze away and crossed your arms in front of your chest as you suddenly realised how mesmerising Yerim’s flowers were.

“It’s trying, trying to feel less guilty. That’s what I’m asking from you. And I realise it’s a process, but for the love of God, can you start it?” Taehyung said and tried to get you to look at him again, but you whipped your head around. 

“None of you understand,” you whispered and Taehyung scoffed, hands running through his hair as he tried not to snap.

“But we do!” Taehyung groaned and you turned around to look at him, ready to shut him up and tell him how exactly he was wrong, but he continued, “You seriously think that Yoongs or Yeri or I weren’t hurt by the news of you leaving? You seriously think that we weren’t mad too? You seriously think it was easy for us to go to the airport and wish you well? No!”

Taehyung gestured wildly around himself, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, as he tried not to shake you and yell into your face to wake the fuck up.

“It wasn’t. It sucked because while, yes, none of us dated you, we still loved you,” Taehyung said, leaning forward to stress his words. “We were hanging out every day for four years, spending every minute together, and then suddenly, at the start of our last summer, you tell us you’re going to America?”

You swallowed heavily and bit on your tongue.

“It wasn’t easy and it fucking sucked, but we still wanted the best for you, still wanted you to go because we knew just how much you wanted to and how much you had worked for it. You deserved it, truly,” Taehyung said, voice growing soft as he calmed down a little. 

“It was why we did go to the airport with you and wished you well,” Taehyung spat out and for a moment, he stopped, paused and put his hands on his hips, eyes piercing through yours as you struggled to hold his gaze.

“Do you realise that you haven’t said his name?”

You blinked at Taehyung, unable to say anything as a lump lodged itself into your throat, growing bigger and bigger with every word that left him.

“I don’t think you’ve said ‘Jungkook’ or ‘Kook’ even once except for that time when we first saw Kook in the restaurant,” Taehyung said and you really thought he wouldn’t realise. “You feel so guilty you can’t even say his name. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

You uncrossed your arms and let them slip to your side, eyes darting across the floor as you tried to find your words, but you couldn’t.

“And what hurts and frustrates me the most aside from the fact that you will not recognise that your guilt is, in fact, ridiculous, is that Kook treats you like shit. And he’s so rude to you even though you go out of your way to fucking dice his cucumbers, even though you and I are fake dating for him, even though you organised this entire thing to break up with me so Heejin will never find out that all of this is a lie and you’re in actuality Kook’s ex.”

Taehyung was heaving at the end, chest rising and falling as the world spilled from his lips like an overflowing bucket. He levelled you with a gaze and a few seconds passed by before he spoke up again. But this time he wasn’t on the edge of yelling, this time his voice wasn’t dripping of urgency and frustration, this time he was calm.

“Look, I’m not saying that you did nothing wrong and that Kook has no right to be mad at you at all.” You pressed your lips together. “You did just leave, did just apply for that scholarship without telling us beforehand. That sucked, and you shouldn’t have done that. You should have at least told him.”

Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he gazed off into the sky, eyes squinting when he looked right into the disappearing sun.

“But it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for him to act the way he does. You’ve both fucked up, but it’s been years.”

You leaned against the railing and let out a long sigh, eyes wandering to Taehyung. He offered you a smile and while you felt the corners of your lips quiver and your lungs ache, you smiled back at him. 

“You two obviously have a lot to work through,” Taehyung said and you threw your head back into your neck, gaze finding the sky.

“Where do I start?”

And without missing a beat, Taehyung answered,

“Start by forgiving yourself.”

When Taehyung came home that night after dropping you off, he found Jungkook in the kitchen, McDonalds bag sitting on the dining table.

“Got anything for me?” Taehyung asked as he made his way over to Jungkook, sitting down opposite of him and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Jungkook didn’t respond or look at Taehyung, simply putting down his burger on the wrapper that functioned as a makeshift plate before rummaging through the brown bag and tossing a cheeseburger at Taehyung.

“You took Heejin home?” Taehyung asked as he peeled the wrapper away, wondering how Jungkook had made it home before him when he had been at McDonalds before. 

“Uh, she insisted on going home herself. Called her an uber,” Jungkook mumbled between bites and Taehyung stopped unwrapping his burger for a moment to eye him before nodding and continuing. 

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Taehyung said, trying to make Jungkook feel better, but he shrugged and didn’t really react. 

Interpreting Jungkook’s silence as him not wanting to talk, Taehyung didn’t say anything more and focused on the food in front of him, biting into his burger that was disgustingly cold now, but after the night he had, any food was welcomed, even if it tasted of artificial flavouring and left his throat dry.

And for the next few minutes, Jungkook and he sit in silence, eating. At one point, Jungkook reached for his second burger, tossing Taehyung another one even though he hadn’t finished his nor asked for one. Two bites into his new burger, Jungkook paused and stared at some point in front of him, just not at Taehyung.

“She broke up with me.”

Taehyung looked up, but Jungkook kept his eyes trained in front of him.

“Heejin broke up with me.”

A second passed before Taehyung put down his burger and straightened up. He wasn’t surprised because Yoongi had been right when he had told you that Jungkook and you had been in another world. A blind man could have seen that there was something between Jungkook and you.

“You okay?” Taehyung offered and forgot that he was, deep down, still mad at Jungkook, forgot that Jungkook still made him want to rip out his own hair. 

Jungkook scoffed before dropping his burger. It landed halfway on the wrapper and halfway not, but he didn’t care enough to adjust it. He leaned back and covered his face with his hands, fingers digging into his eyes.

Taehyung was about to make his way over to Jungkook, about to pull him into his arms because he was clearly not doing well, but before he could even move a single centimetre, Jungkook’s hands fell away and he looked up to him.

“Yeah, I am.”

It sounded like Jungkook couldn’t believe himself, like he was angry and frustrated with himself for being able to say that he was okay and mean it, like he wanted to be the opposite, crying and bawling instead.

“I’m okay,” Jungkook said, head shaking from left to right as he furrowed his brows and scoffed at himself. “How am I okay? How am I okay when Heejin, my fucking girlfriend, just broke up with me?”

Taehyung blinked at Jungkook, knowing exactly that he needed to rant right now, needed to get all of the words out.

“She told me to get her an uber and after I did, she turned to me and said that she thought we should break up,” Jungkook recounted, eyes unblinking. “Just like that. We broke up just like that.”

He rubbed his eyes and groaned before snapping out of it and looking back at Taehyung.

“I- I didn’t even fight her on it when she told me to call her an uber. I just did. I did as she told me to, but- but as her boyfriend, I shouldn’t have, right? I should have insisted on driving her home, but I didn’t. I- I knew I should have. I was screaming at myself to, but I just couldn’t. And when she told me we should break up-” Jungkook paused and gestured around like that would finish his sentence. “I, again, didn’t fight her on it.”

A bitter scoff escaped him and Taehyung watched Jungkook shake his head at himself, obviously confused by himself. “Instead of insisting to talk about it or whatever, I just went to fucking McDonalds.” Jungkook punched the bag and it tipped over, slow and sad. “I went to McDonalds! Can you fucking believe? Instead of driving home my girlfriend or fighting for my relationship, I just said okay and went to get food at the shittest place ever.”

Jungkook gestured around himself wildly, hands flailing around like he was drowning and trying to gasp for air. His voice grew in volume and the desperation and frustration seemed to thicken more and more, lacing his every word as he rambled on.

“And it all just doesn’t make sense because it’s not like I don’t care. I do. I do care about Heejin, but it’s just- it’s just-” Jungkook shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line as he scanned the room for the rest of his sentence. “I just don’t know anymore. I don’t even know why she broke up with me.”

When Jungkook looked at Taehyung, it hurt him to see the frustration swimming in his eyes, hurt him to see how helpless he was. And so, Taehyung sighed and sat up even straighter, gaze levelling Jungkook’s.

“Do you love Heejin?”

“She’s my girlfriend.”

“Was,” Taehyung corrected with a raise of a finger. “But that doesn’t answer my question, Jungkook-” 

Jungkook furrowed his brows at him and shook his head at him.

“What? It does answer your question,” Jungkook said, staring at Taehyung like he had just said the most ridiculous thing ever. “She is- was, whatever, my girlfriend, so, of course, I love her.”

Taehyung scrunched up his nose at Jungkook’s answer and slid his burger to the side to lean forward and be a little closer to Jungkook, needing to look right into his eyes as he said the next word.

“Do you, though?”

Taehyung didn’t give Jungkook a chance to answer.

“Do you seriously love Heejin or do you assume you do because she was your girlfriend?”

Taehyung eyed Jungkook as the words sank into the air and dawned on him, as they replayed over and over again in his head, as they started to push through everything inside him and reached his heart.

“Jungkook, don’t you think there was a reason why Heejin and you had been dating for almost six months and we hadn’t met her yet? Don’t you think there was a reason why you never told her about Y/N?”

He looked at Taehyung, his gaze hazy and clouded with questions. Jungkook had no idea, had no idea why Heejin had broken up with him. She had simply smiled at him and wished him well before getting into the uber, no reason. But he also hadn’t tried to stop her from getting inside and demanded an answer. He had just accepted it with a nod and gotten into his car.

But now, with Taehyung looking at him, gaze digging deep into his, he started to think, started to replay the events of this evening, started to dissect every interaction today. 

He thought about how you all had played Taboo, thought about how you had smiled at him when he had gotten the first word, thought about how you had essentially beamed at him when you two had gotten closer and closer to the win, thought about how you had squealed and jumped up when you had realised you had won, thought about how beautiful you had looked standing on the balcony with the wind blowing through your hair and the sun highlighting your beauty, thought about how he wanted to hold you close to him when he saw you standing there, thought about how you had smiled at him when you had told him you had missed him too, thought about how you were the only thing he could think of.

“I love Y/N.”

The corners of Taehyung’s lips curled up and he nodded.

“I still love, Y/N.”

And once again, Taehyung nodded.

Jungkook slumped into his chair, hands in his lap as he stared at some chip in the dining table, mind far, far away. Never had he been this confused before, never had he ever struggled this much to process anything before.

But at the same time, it made sense, made sense that he was still in love with you. How could he not be? How could he not be when you were the only one that had ever made him so happy that the corners of his lips had started hurting from all of the grinning and his stomach aching from all of the laughing and his lungs screaming for oxygen? How could he not be when you were the smartest, kindest, funniest. most talented, brilliant, inspiring and prettiest person he had ever met?

It made so much sense that Jungkook was still deeply in love with you after all this time, it hurt his brain.

And so, he stayed silent, stayed silent even as Taehyung reached over and bit into his burger after finishing his own.

“What do I do?”

Jungkook surprised himself when he spoke, not intending to, but once the words were out, he wanted the answer. Taehyung put Jungkook’s burger down on his own pile of cheeseburger wrappers and brushed his hands off.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to tell her. I want to try again. I want to hold her in my arms and kiss her until the sun rises-”

“Okay, calm down, Kook,” Taehyung laughed and leaned back into his chair. “I get it. You wanna rush over to her and profess your love to her in this grand romantic gesture, but take a moment and think about it, about everything.”

Jungkook lowered his gaze and looked up after two seconds, chest pressed against the edge of the table and legs itching to carry him to you.

“You think she’s still up-”

“No,” Taehyung cut in and pointed at Jungkook, burger abandoned to the side once more as he leaned forward. The smile that had pulled on his lips before disappeared.

“Kook, I need you to think about how you’ve treated Y/N these past weeks.” Jungkook straightened up and his legs tucked themselves under the chair when the memories came crashing down on him. “Really think about it.”

And so, this time, Jungkook did think about it, did take a moment and let all of your interaction run through his mind. And the longer he did, the longer he thought about what he had said to you and how he had treated you, the more he wanted to punch himself, the more he wanted to turn back time, the more he wanted to fall to his knees and beg you to forgive him, beg you to just please not hate him.

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, fingers clawing on the roots as he cursed himself.

“Bad, isn’t it?” Taehyung said and cocked his head to the side. 

“What do I do?”

“Well, I’d apologise first if I were you and I’d take all responsibility for what, well, you’ve done. And I’d tell her that if she doesn’t feel the way I do, that it’s fine and I will do anything in my power to not make it awkward for her and the fact that she’s friends with my friends.”

Jungkook hummed, hummed because he really couldn’t do anything else. He just couldn’t believe how blinded he had been, how blinded he had been by all of that ugly and unresolved anger and pain.

Taehyung let Jungkook think for a while, think before he leaned forward again and said what he had been trying so desperately to tell him, what he had been trying to get through his thick skull all this time.

“But before that, Kook, I need you to realise that when she made your promise of forever, you were teens. Remember how dumb and stupid we were back then? And I know you felt like Y/N was being selfish and leaving you behind to go study in America, but in reality, she was following her dreams. And you thought that those dreams didn’t include you, but they did. You were the one that broke up with her. She did not break up with you. You did.”

Taehyung paused for a second, arms crossing in front of his chest. 

“You decided to not be in her dreams.”

You banged on the door, banged on it like you were about to kick it in, banged on it like your life depended on it, and when it finally opened, you almost banged on his chest, fist stopping mid-air.

“Who the fuck- Y/N? What are you doing here? It’s five in the morning- wait, why are you all wet? Did you run through the rain?”

You shoved your phone into his face and he squinted, your screen blinding him. The overhead light above you did barely anything to illuminate the hallway you were standing in, leaving both of you essentially in darkness. 

It took him a few seconds, a lot of blinking and wrapping his fingers around your wrist to hold your phone away to finally see what you were showing him.

[heejin - 11:21 PM] : hi! I wasnt sure if I should tell you this or not and I honestly contemplated not to

[heejin - 11:21 PM] : but at the end, I think you should know

[heejin - 11:21 PM] : I’m not too sure what exactly is going on between kook and you, but for what it’s worth, kook and I broke up

[heejin - 11:22 PM] : I hope you two figure out whatever is between you two because I do think you two would be cute. you definitely got my blessing!

[heejin - 11:22 PM] : dream team ;)

Your knuckles turned white around your phone before you let your arm drop to your side. Your heart was pounding in your chest, pounding so much that you were certain that she was trying to leap out of it and fall into his hands again.

Jungkook blinked at you, mouth agape as he struggled to find his voice, struggled to take you all in because did you really stand in front of him, soaked to the bones, hair all tangled up and wet from the rain, chest heaving like you had run all of the way here or was he simply dreaming? Did he finally fall asleep?

“Did I wake you up?” you panted and shifted from one foot to another, expecting him to slam the door in your face.

“N-no, I, uh, I wasn’t sleeping,” Jungkook said and you looked at him before nodding and letting your gaze travel to the side. Your brows pinched together and Jungkook was about to invite you in because, again, you were soaked to the bones, but then, you took a deep breath and opened your mouth.

Here goes nothing.

“Look, Jungkook, I debated with myself for the past four or so hours whether or not I should come here. And then, it started to rain, and, well, I know that you love your romcoms. And even though I also know you probably wanna be the one to execute the grand romantic gesture because you are you and you love so fucking deeply and wholly, I decided that I’m gonna do this because, well, you deserve it.

“When I left for America, I- I truly thought I was going to move on from you at one point, thought you were going to turn into an old love, a memory. I thought that one day I’d tell my grandkids about you, Jungkook, and how you were my first love and how happy you had made me and how bitter our ending had been, but,” you shook your head, “but the truth is, you still have such a hold on my heart. You’re still vibrant and alive in my mind, imprinted in there.

“And I know I’ve hurt you by leaving, but I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you, Jungkook,” tears filled your eyes, “I left because having you, having you by my side, as my boyfriend, Jungkook, made me believe that anything was possible, made me want to reach for the stars, fulfill my dreams because before America, you were my dream. You were the one thing I had wanted for so long, and then, I had you. Then, you were mine, and I was on cloud nine.

“I’ve felt so guilty all this time and beaten myself up for leaving because you were obviously still so angry and hurt by that, and unlike what you might believe, I never wanted that, never wanted to hurt you in any way. I need you to understand that I didn’t leave because you weren’t enough. You were and are enough, Jungkook. I left because you made the impossible seem possible, and so, I thought you’d be my side forever, even if oceans and continents and whatever were between us.

“And I realise that was selfish, selfish of me to just expect you to be fine with it. I should have talked to you, told you about the scholarship and my plans and not broken our promise like that. But I didn’t, and I made you think that everybody is selfish and that you weren’t enough. But that’s not true.” You shook your head and swallowed heavily, trying not to choke on your own tears. “Jungkook, you taught me that people are wonderful and amazing and you made me feel like I was more than enough, beyond enough. And you deserve to feel the same way, so, I’m deeply sorry for failing to do just that and for leaving without a proper explanation and talking to you beforehand.

“I know you probably don’t wanna hear this because you probably hate me now, but even if you decide to slam the door in my face and curse me out for the rest of my life after this and forget about all that I’ve said, I want you to know one thing. 

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop, not even if you hate me.”

Jungkook looked at you, gazed into your eyes, and truly, you thought time stopped. You waited, waited for him to say or do something and it felt like eternities were flying past you as you stood there, blinking at him. And even with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision, you could see him clearly, could see Jungkook standing right in front of you.

“Y/N, oh, my love,” Jungkook started, voice shaky before he took a step closer to you. His hand reached up and he cupped your face. Your cheek was cold, cold from the rain, but the moment he touched you, you felt warmth push through you, through your chest, felt the remnants of icicles melt away in your lungs.

“Please, don’t apologise. I should be apologising to you, should be the one banging on your door and begging for your forgiveness. I don’t hate you. I could never truly hate you.” Jungkook swallowed, voice cracking as the words continued spilling from him without a pause. “I- I’m the one that fucked up so badly, I don’t even know how you can still love me. I hurt you so much, said so much dumb shit and made you feel so fucking guilty when you shouldn’t have felt guilty.” He shook his head at himself and held onto you a little tighter like he was scared you were going to slip away if he didn’t. “I’m so sorry, my love, for being so incredibly blinded by anger and pain for so long. I’m so sorry for hurting you and making you feel like you needed to apologise to me.

“Tae is right. I should have taken you to the airport and wished you well. I should have been there with the others and said goodbye. I shouldn't have screamed at you and stayed at home-”

“Kook, babe, no,” you choked out and grabbed his wrist, holding onto it as you shook your head at him. “Don’t apologise. I- I should have talked to you before. You had every right to be mad at me. I understand why you didn’t go. I understand why you couldn’t do it. It’s fine-”

“But I don’t want it to be fine,” Jungkook interrupted and your fingers tightened around his wrists. “I don’t want it to be fine because I know I hurt you by not being there. And I never want it to be fine or okay or whatever if I hurt you.”

Jungkook and you looked at one another, vision blurry and just as the first tear began spilling from the corner of your eye, you took a step towards Jungkook, closing the gap that had lingered between you two and pressed your lips to his.

You kissed Jungkook, kissed him standing on the doorstep of his front door, kissed him standing there, soaked to the bones, kissed him like it was just you and him in this universe. Your body leaned into his and your hands were desperate for him, desperate to just touch him. You grabbed onto whatever skin and piece of Jungkook you could get, and he did the same, but your kiss was soft and calm, the opposite of your hands. You held onto you like you were drowning, like you were Rose and Jack.

You moved your lips against his and your smile grew the longer you kissed Jungkook. And you wondered if he could also feel the sun shine in his chest, if he could also taste the honey and sugar and love trapped between your teeth, if his skin was also prickling everywhere you touched him, if fireworks were also exploding in his stomach like they were in yours, if this was enough of a grand romantic gesture for him.

You wondered if Jungkook could feel just how much you loved him.

The sun rose behind you two, and when you two pulled away to breathe, you smiled at each other. 

Jungkook didn’t let go of you and neither did you. He cupped your face once more and pulled you close to him. Your breath mixed with his, heavy and varied, but it was all good, all good because smiles were on your lips, all good because you had each other again.

“My love,” Jungkook breathed, and gazed into your eyes the way he had when you had won that round of Taboo and smiled at you the way he had when he and you had stood on the balcony. “I love you.”

“Kook, babe,” you started, pecking his nose before beaming at him, beaming at him like you had used to, beaming at him because he was your sun and your dream. “I love you more.”

Jungkook leaned in for a quick kiss, leaned in the same way he used to whenever his heart pounded a little too much in his chest. And you pressed right back against him, lips finding his, and you knew,

Jungkook was warmth.

Jungkook was home.

Jungkook was love.

“Fucking finally.”

Jungkook and you pulled apart and jerked around to the source of the sound, and when you saw them standing there, behind you, your heart stopped mid-beat. Your jaw went slack as you blinked at them, unable to process what was happening right now.

“Worth it, right?” 

Jungkook and you whipped your heads around one more time, and it was then that you saw Taehyung standing behind you, hands shoved into his pockets and body leaned against the door to the living room.

“Eh, was kinda obvious that this was gonna happen at one point,” Yoongi mumbled with a shrug, clearly unbothered, but Yerim was the complete opposite, hands pressed to her mouth as she tried to stop the squeal from spilling free.

“Oh my God!” she shrieked, voice so high it hurt and Jungkook and you cringed. “I- I’ve been literally dreaming of this!”

“So, worth it, right? Coming here?” Taehyung asked again and squeezed himself between Jungkook and you to step out into the hallway, prompting you to move to the side a little.

“Yes, absolutely!” Yerim grinned and nodded vigorously, and for a moment, you thought her head was going to come off.

“What’s happening right now?” you asked and your hands found Jungkook’s, your fingers lacing with his for some kind of support.

“Oh, yeah, I heard you banging on the door, so, I called up Yoongs and Yeri and told them to get their asses here because our best friends don’t get back together without everybody here to witness it,” Taehyung explained with a shrug.

“Wait, how did you two make it here in time?” Jungkook asked, thumb brushing over your hand as he stepped closer to you to look at Yoongi and Yerim.

“Yeah, unlike what you might think, Kook, traffic isn’t always so bad and there aren’t always fires around,” Yoongi smirked and Jungkook gasped behind you. 

Taehyung, Yerim and you looked at each other, jaws going slack before you started grinning and all three of you had to bite your lips to stop the laughter from spilling free. Jungkook tugged on your hand and you tried your hardest not to laugh, but when you looked at him, you just couldn’t stop it.

Pearls of laughter spilled out and you took Taehyung and Yerim with you. Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze, and Yerim hid behind Yoongi, trying her hardest to avoid Jungkook’s gaze.

And even though he was offended and tried to keep looking like he was truly offended, he couldn’t help but laugh with you all, couldn’t help himself when he saw you grinning at him like that.

“Can we go now?” Yoongi smiled when you all had calmed down, the bags under his eyes darkening with every second he wasn’t in his bed. “It’s five in the morning and usually, I’m in bed during this time.”

Taehyung smiled at him. “Only if you say, it was worth it.”

Yoongi groaned and threw his head into his neck, not enjoying that answer at all. Yerim giggled and nudged him with her elbow, but instead of just saying it was worth it, Yoongi decided to argue with Taehyung.

“It was so obvious that they were gonna get together again. I honestly wouldn’t have minded if you hadn’t called me.”

“Min Yoongi, are you seriously telling me that you wouldn’t have minded missing out on our best friends getting back together?”

“Honestly? Yeah.”

“He’s lying. Yoongs loves Kook and Y/N together.”

“What’re you talking about, Yeri? I don’t-”

“Do I have to remind you that you texted me last week that you couldn’t believe that they weren’t back together yet?”

“Oh, Yoongs, that’s so cute.”

“Why would you believe her, Tae? It’s bullshit!”

Too busy watching Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi argue with each other, you didn’t notice Jungkook turning away. So, when you suddenly felt cotton brush against your arms, you were more than surprised.

“What?” you blurted out before looking down at yourself and seeing one of Jungkook’s jackets around your body. 

“Thought you might be cold. You know, with all of that running through the rain and everything,” Jungkook hummed with a shrug and you stared at him for a little before you smiled at him again. You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, a kiss that had the corners of his lips curling into the most beautiful smile.

You hugged Jungkook’s jacket closer to your body, trying to keep that warmth in your chest locked down. The smell of his detergent and sweat mixed with your senses and you felt all dizzy, but it was the good kind of dizzy, the kind of dizzy you loved, the kind of dizzy only Jungkook could ever make you feel.

And when he wrapped his arms around you, you quickly wrapped your arms around him too. Your lips brushed against his neck and you left a kiss there, trying to make sure that he would never ever forget that he was more than enough, never ever forget that you loved him like nobody else in this world.

And with his arms around your body, you, once again, felt like the impossible was possible, like the stars were yours to grab, like nothing could ever come between you, but unlike before, you knew that this time, it was all true.

“I love you,” you hummed into Jungkook’s ear and he smiled into your hair before tightening his arms around you.

“And I love you.”

Jungkook and you gazed into each other’s eyes, sunlight sparkling in your pupils before you both slowly leaned into each other, more and more. Your eyes flickered down to his lips and you knew that any second now, he would kiss you. And the thought alone had your heart racing and your breath hitching and your hands shaking but in the best ways possible. And right as your lips were about to connect,

“Fine!” Yoongi grunted and silenced Taehyung and Yerim, cutting them mid-sentence and Jungkook and you mid-kiss. “It was worth it. I missed Kook and Y/N and I’m more than overjoyed to see them together again! My heart is literally melting in my chest and I can’t wait to go home because I wanna shriek and scream into my pillow!”

Jungkook and you turned your heads around to see a panting Yoongi. His eyes were big and nostrils flared as he glared at Taehyung and Yerim.

“Happy now?” he asked through gritted teeth and he looked between Taehyung and Yerim, who were exchanging glances with each other. There was a beat of silence and a second later, the two burst out into laughter. Jungkook and you had to grin too, but you still shook your heads at your friends, the situation far too ridiculous.

“Hey, Yoongs,” Jungkook called over your head before looking at you. When you nodded at him, he turned back to Yoongi, who was, at this point, fuming and mumbling to himself, cheeks red. “You can go home now.”

“Thank you!” Yoongi grumbled and threw his hands into the air, but before he could turn around and drive home with his cheeks and the tips of his ears bright red, Jungkook interjected,

“But you are a dumb, little bitch.”

Yoongi’s jack went slack as he furrowed his brows at Jungkook, more than caught off guard by the sudden insult. It was clear he was struggling to process it, but so were Taehyung, Yerim and you, all three of you going silent at Jungkook’s words.

It took you a moment to understand why Jungkook had said what he had said, and when you did, you burst out into laughter.

You gasped for air as you threw your head back, laughter rippling through your chest, and Jungkook joined you, bending over as he laughed his heart out as well. And soon enough, Taehyung joined you two, finally making the connection himself. Yerim started laughing as well, but only because Taehyung, Jungkook and you were laughing.

Yoongi was left blinking at you three as he struggled to decide whether he was offended or amused, and judging from the smile tugging on the corners of his lips, it was the latter.

“Not like that,” you said with a shake of your head and Jungkook shrugged at you.

“What? Isn’t that we were talking about when we said to bully Yoongs?” he asked with that proud smirk on his lips, that proud smirk he always got whenever he managed to make people laugh. Taehyung and you shook your heads at him, both definitely not thinking of calling Yoongi ‘a dumb, little bitch’ when you had agreed to bully him a little. 

It took a while, but soon your laughter died down, but the grins stayed on your lips.

“Definitely not like that,” Taehyung agreed with you, fingers wiping away the tears, and you three locked eyes with each other, grinning, no, beaming. 

Yoongi sighed after he had enough of whatever this was, and turned on his heel, but once again, before he could go, Jungkook interjected,

“Hey, I think you should all just crash here. It’s, well, early and probably better for you two to not get behind the wheel right now.”

Yoongi opened his mouth to protest, but then, he stopped himself and paused, gaze levelling Jungkook’s.

“I get your bed?”

“Sure thing, I’ll kick you out of it,” Jungkook grinned and even though that had not been the response he had wanted, Yoongi shuffled inside, Yerim right behind him.

“I’m happy you guys are back together,” she told you two as she walked past you and you grinned at Jungkook, a grin he returned right away.

Taehyung let out a sigh, lips still pulled into a smile before he, too, shuffled inside, gaze meeting yours when he did. 

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, seriously. Thanks,” Jungkook hummed and Taehyung laughed before waving you two off, dismissing your words with a flick of his hand.

“No need to thank me,” Taehyung grinned. “I’m just happy that you two are back together.”

Both of you wanted to disagree, but Taehyung silenced you with a smile. And right as he was about to turn into the living room to figure out where Yerim and Yoongi were going to sleep, he looked over his shoulder and met Jungkook’s and your gaze.

“You can name your firstborn after me if you’re truly thankful.” A pause. “Taehyung Jeon. Doesn’t sound too bad, right?”

“You think we would name our firstborn after you?”

“You think I would take Kook’s last name?” 

Jungkook gasped next to you and took a step back, hand gripping your elbow to draw your attention to him. His brows were slightly furrowed together and his mouth agape.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with Jeon?” he asked and you stared at him.

“Gonna leave you two alone now,” Taehyung laughed, not wanting to see where that conversation was going, and joined Yerim and Yoongi in the living room.

“Nothing. Don’t you worry about it,” you said with a smile and stroked Jungkook’ cheek, and instantly, he melted into your touch, frown washing away. “It’s fine. It’s a nice last name.”

You pinched Jungkook’s cheeks, making him pull away and just as he was about to complain and tell you not to pinch his cheek, you continued,

“You know, fine and nice for now.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew big at your words and before he could ask you what exactly you meant with that, (because you knew he was going to. It was Jungkook after all.), you closed the door behind you two. You patted his chest and took his hand to lead him to the others, but he stopped you, pulling you back to him, smirk on his lips.

“You wanna fulfill Tae’s wish?” Jungkook asked with a quirk of his brow and you looked at him, lips pressing into a line. When you didn’t respond, the smirk fell away, prompting you to smile at him again. 

“Let’s join the others, yeah?” you said with a wink, enjoying teasing him a little too much. You didn’t wait for an answer and turned on your heel, but once again, Jungkook stopped you.

“How about we fulfill my dream, then?” 

Jungkook looked at you with the same smirk on his face again, and before you could stop yourself, you laughed at him, shaking your head from left to right. You leaned up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek before patting his chest and walking backwards, pointing at him as you did.

“Just get me a towel.” 

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#jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #bts au #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook oneshot #bts oneshot #bts #jungkook #exes au #fake dating au #enemies to lovers au #e2l #unrequited feelings au #angst #fluff #after i left you #linh.fic #ITS HERE #I CANT BELIEVE IT #ALSO JUST REALISED THAT ON MY PREVIEW THE DATE IS OFF BY ONE DAY LMAO

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n and ranboo

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part two to the angst imagine (the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo) it’s a happier ‘ending’ please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and ranboo in this imagine is completely platonic

it had been about a month since you last streamed whereas ranboo continued to stream a few days after the fallout as he wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. even though ranboo knew this huge fallout would eventually happen, it still hurt him, especially since he knew there was no way to prevent it, the four of you in the same house mixed with the stress of being some of the most-watched content creators made living rather difficult. it was like walking on eggshells as you didn’t want to interrupt someone's stream, then there was the additional stress of obsessive fans finding out where the four of you lived, you still remember that day very vividly. you were sat in between tubbo and ranboo watching the office whilst Tommy was in an interview when you received a message from your mod.

Chris: hey y/n I received this message earlier I don’t want to scare you, but maybe get the locks changed. someone sent a message claiming this is your address *image of message from ‘fan’*

it didn’t take long for tubbo and ranboo to receive a message from their mods saying the same thing

“holy shit...”

“chances are Tommy has the message too. we shall go check around the house when Tommy is done with the interview.”

luckily no one ever showed up to the house, but the fact some people were so obsessed to the point they found your address was enough to put everyone in the house on edge. and now it was just you and ranboo in the house. you didn’t feel safe as even though ranboo promised to not let anything happen, you didn’t wanna risk it.

“we should move. there’s no point in having such a big house for two people, what are we going to use the extra space for heh? hide and seek with people who have our address. no thank you. I say we move leave this mess behind and start completely over, hell I’d feel safer in the us and that’s saying something”

ranboo agreed the house didn’t have the happiest memories attached to it anymore, it hurt walking past the hallway as it would bring back the memory of him crying into the crook of y/ns neck whilst tubbo left the house.

“let’s do it, I’ll do an early stream then we can look for houses. go take a shower. I’ll stay close to the door so you’re safe, then you can stay in my room whilst I stream, you can join me if you would like.”

“you’re being very protective all of a sudden...let me guess you got the message from our mods announcing the obsessive fans are at it again?”

“go take a shower.”

“no.”

ranboo ended up picking you up, carried you to the bathroom and turned the shower on before putting you on your feet.

“quick shower I’ll see you later.”

and with that he left the room shutting the door behind him, 30 minutes later you got changed and followed ranboo to his room ready to join him whilst he streams

“hey boo, can I join you? I kinda wanna get into streaming again.”

“I'm so glad you asked, I was going to do a face cam stream, if that’s okay?”

“of course.”

you grabbed his mask and glasses whilst he locked the door so you were both safe. “here you go.”

“thank you.”

the pair of you started the stream and it was honestly going well, you were having so much fun you forgot about all the negative things currently going on, you began to understand why ranboo continued streaming as for those 2-4 hours of streaming it felt as though everything was back to normal. 3 hours later the two of you ended stream and Twitter went crazy. tweets ranged from fans talking about how ranboo was streaming with you, how Tommy was in chat, and how tubbo was modding as people who mentioned anything about their address being leaked were banned by tubbo. the one thing that caught ranboos eye was fan art and a picture of you both from the stream captioned ‘they’re platonic soulmates your honour’ ranboo went as far to like, retweet and comment on it.

ranaltboo: glad you liked the stream it was great having y/n back, think I might make them play tattletail next stream

definitelynoty/n: isn’t that the Furby game that terrified you in 2021? bring it on boo!

Twitter went crazy over this interaction, you had finally come back to social media after months of being inactive, and it looked like you were here to stay. a month later you and ranboo moved out of the house and sold it to your aunt and her wife and their three adopted children, you explained the situation and even changed the locks for them all before they moved in.

“Please do tell us if anyone shows up who shouldn’t be. we changed the locks as you were aware- oh hello little one.”

you noticed one of their children decided to cling onto your leg

“I like your hair it’s colourful!”

“Indeed it is.”

“WOAH A GIANT!”

the little girl let go of your leg and ran to ranboo asking to be picked up, unsure of what to do he looked towards you. however, you were too busy laughing about the fact he was compared to a giant.

“I'm so sorry uh if you want to pick her up you can, you don’t have to.”

“pick me up, tall man... I want to be taller!”

ranboo ended up standing next to you with an arm around your waist whilst the child sat on his shoulders happily playing with his hair.

“ranboo do not drop that child.”

“I didn't- I didn't plan on it y/n.”

eventually, it was time to leave and the child reluctantly let go of ranboo.

“bye-bye!! hope to see you soon!”

soon enough you were at a smaller house, far away from the old house, leaving behind the negative feelings. it could only get better, a week later the pair of you had settled into the new house, it finally felt like home. you and ranboo were now streaming full time again, safe to say the two of you were thriving and closer than ever.

“so I’m thinking if I hit the sub-goal today I’ll let chat pick what colour I dye my hair.”

“make it higher, and I’ll let you cut my hair.”

“Are you being serious? oh my god!”

a few minutes later you took to Twitter to announce you were going live.

y/n: kidnapping children in the sims with ranboo psst check the subgoal.

within 20 minutes you had hit the sub-goal, chat ended up picking another random neon colour for your hair.

“right hair dye and the cutting stream will be this weekend, now let’s go back to kidnapping.”

tubbo, tommy, and jack felt awful for what happened and went back to the house where you used to live, hoping to see you there so they could apologise, tubbo knocked on the door only to be met by a young child.

“my sister watches you on twitch!”

“oh that’s lovely.. are y/n and ranboo here?”

an older woman came to the door.

“oh no, I’m sorry dear they both moved out, but they left this box and said to give it to you if you returned.”

“do you know where they moved to?”

“I'm sorry dear, I'm not allowed to tell you that information for safety reasons.”

“I understand, thanks anyway.”

they ended up going back to jacks where the three of them had been staying.

“We should open the box.”

tubbo opened the box and emptied the items onto the floor, inside was the rocks y/n handed tubbo from every trip, photos of the group, a necklace y/n had gifted to Tommy a day before the argument, and a hat y/n had taken from jack during a trip to a zoo.

“what the fuck!”

“holy shit!”

“they really kept all these in hopes we would come back?”

“and now we’re too late.”

it was now the weekend you and ranboo were ready to stream, you stood leaning on ranboo who was significantly smaller than you as you lowered the chair he sat on.

“starting stream...now.”

after the starting soon intro played, you explained what was happening to any new viewers or people who didn’t watch the stream.

“so I’m about to become Edward Scissorhands...I love that film can we watch it later?”

“yeah mhm sure!”

you didn’t know this but your ex best friends were watching and ever so often would show up in the chat.

“so boo, what are we doing with your hair today?”

“just a trim please darling?”

“This is y/ns hairdressers you get what I’m capable of!”

you ended up doing a pretty good job of cutting ranboos hair, even he was impressed.

“I didn’t doubt you for a minute!”

“mhm sure thing please don’t mess up my hair tall one!”

soon enough you had the dye on. 45 minutes later you left to wash it off, leaving ranboo to entertain stream,

“chat I think I missed some of their hair it’s okay, I own scissors, I’ll just cut it.. speaking of they did a great job, didn't they? I honestly expected them to mess up.”

a few minutes later you joined ranboo again and spent the next few hours talking with chat. tubbo, tommy, and jack stayed the entire time. they loved the fact you and ranboo were able to stay close after what happened, Tommy noticed you were still wearing the necklace he got you many years ago and spammed them chat with him tubbo and jack

Tommy: THEYRE WEARING THE NECKLACE!!

jack: so what? they clearly don’t wanna talk to us.

tubbo: shut up listen to them.

“chat why are we spamming platonic soulmates?”

“they’ve been saying it all over Twitter, look on trending y/n.”

you started to blush slightly at all the amazing artwork soon enough the stream came to an end, after saying goodbye the pair of you sat together going through fan art. unfortunately the one that caught your eye was this one twitter post where the artist had created a drawing of a piece of paper with you, ranboo, tommy, tubbo, and jack, however the paper was ripped separating you and ranboo from the others, captioned ‘it was never meant to be’ this clearly upset ranboo as he took off his mask and glasses placing them on the desk before going straight to his bed.

“boo…are you okay?”

“Are you tired of me? are you going to leave next?”

“what? no of course not! I could never get tired of you, why do you ask?”

“everyone else has left..i thought they cared about us, i knew it would happen eventually and i couldn’t stop it, i’m sorry, y/n, please don’t hate me.”

you sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor,

“come here.”

you watched him roll over to face you.

“you know there’s no one else who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, right…if i hated you i wouldn’t have moved house with you. it’s not your job to fix everything and make everything better, you’re a streamer for christ sake not a therapist.”

“i guess so.. can we watch that thing you were on about for ages.”

“edward scissorhands? “

“mhm!”

you could tell he wanted to be distracted, so you agreed and put the film on, towards the end you began to get upset due to how overwhelming everything was.

“Why are you crying?”

“poor Edward.”

“come here.”

ranboo pulled you into a hug you laid there crying into his chest, he knew that wasn’t the reason you were crying, but he wasn’t about to make you tell him, luckily it didn’t take long for you to stop crying as ranboo quickly distracted you.

“ranboo..”

“yeah y/n?”

“I feel bad i didnt realise how much pressure was on you whilst everyone was arguing.”

“Hey, it’s okay, is that what’s upsetting you?”

“mhm.”

“don’t blame yourself, i’d do it all over again to keep you safe and happy..then again i didn’t do a good job on keeping you happy.”

“you did..you were always there for me even when i gave up on social media, you shared your room with me after i started receiving creepy messages from that obsessed fan, hell you even went on adventures with me even though it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping, just so we could spend time together and forget about what was happening. you mean a lot to me boo.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too bud, I’m tired.”

“go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“okay.”

“you just staying there?”

“yes.”

“oh, oh okay, goodnight.”

about a year later the two of you were still thriving, ranboo got you a promise ring a few months earlier.

“heh what’s this for?”

“as your best friend i promise to stay by your side and keep you safe and make sure that you’re happy, in other words you're stuck with me till the end of time.”

“boo…i really don’t know what to say.. thank you so much!”

“you don’t have to say anything!”

you ended up going out to buy him a promise ring when he started the stream and decided to take your cousins with you now that they were a little older. ranboo was doing a facecam stream when the door slammed open revealing you covering your three younger cousins ranboo not realising you were hiding them from the camera, instinctively stood up covering the camera

“ranboooooo!”

“yes you three and y/n ,what do you need?”

“we would like to watch a film!”

“Okay, i’ll go put one on, y/n will you entertain chat?”

“sure thing boo boy!”

once they left you sat fixing your hair forgetting you were wearing the ring chat noticed this and went crazy, so did Tommys group with tubbo and jack.

tubbo: that’s a ring, right??

jack: yeah looks like it.

Tommy: holy shit I always thought if anyone was gonna get married it would be tubbo and y/n, they were inseparable.

tubbo: hilarious.

jack: it could just be a ring, no one mentioned marriage tommy!

Tommy: we should congratulate them.

jack: at least let them explain fucking hell.

soon enough ranboo came back into the room,

“sorry one of them found it hilarious to steal my glasses...”

“they’re little shits i swear to god but i love them.”

you both noticed chat going crazy and both looked at each other before laughing.

“i'm sorry, i can’t take you serious in the mask and glasses!”

“i can’t take you serious with neon hair, but here we are!”

“rude!”

you and ranboo quickly put an end to the rumours,

“no we’re not engaged or married, it is a promise ring. no they’re not our children, they’re y/ns cousins they just spend a lot of time here..chat stop calling me and y/n parents and comparing us to phil that’s not..that’s not how it works okay!”

“parent arc!”

“y/n, don’t encourage them!”

“it’s a little bit funny!”

soon enough the bit came to an end and eventually ranboo ended the stream.

“hey boo look what i got you”

you handed him a little black box, inside was a ring similar to yours

“i promise to always stick around and be here for you”

“oh my god”

ranboo tackled you into a hug thanking you several times for his rings. you and ranboo were living your best life meanwhile jack, tommy, and tubbo were stuck dealing with the guilt of what happened, but they’re weren’t giving up that easy. they wanted you both back, that’s when you received a notification, tommyinnit has sent you a message request: hey y/n can we talk..please?

taglist

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #mcyt reader insert #mcyt fluff #ranboo x you #ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo x y/n #ranboo fluff #tubbo x y/n #tubbo x reader #tubbo x you #tubbo imagine #tubbo angst #tommyinnit angst #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit imagine #jack manifold imagine #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold x you #jack manifold x reader #jack manifold angst #dsmp reader insert #dsmp imagine #dsmp fanfic

[keichanz]

Mistake

kay so i really don't care if some of this doesn't make sense because this is the first thing i've written in a while that i don't absolutely hate. well this version at least. ending up scraping the first draft because it just seemed wrong and went in a different direction. im glad i did cause im happy with it.

anyway i realize that this may not get much feedback because i took a different approach to it, aka the entire pov is from an OC but i can't bring myself to care too much because i wrote this purely for myself. got inspired, started writing, and i actually liked the content i was writing. end of.

btw the oc doesn't refer to inuyasha as a half-demon because he's unaware he is one and i was too lazy to delve into those waters anyhow.

also for the sake of this oneshot pls dont look too closely at the ranks of diplomat and ambassador. i was too lazy to put much research regarding positions of power so just...go with it.

inspired by @stillunderyourbed​'s art that can be found here.

It was…quaint. Smaller than what he'd expected. The housing structures looked subpar, there didn't appear to be any wooden walkways, and he could detect the distinct odor or fish in the air with hints of manure. There even seemed to be a perpetual dust cloud hovering at about waist high, thickening from the numerous carts, wagons, horses, and villagers kicking up dirt as they went about their daily lives. Already he felt like there was a layer of dust caked on the inside of his lungs and he wasn't even inside yet.

All in all, it was your typical countryside village, home to simple folk that made a living off of fishing, farming, and trade. The diplomat sneered in disgust. For being the rumored home of the creature strong enough to destroy the despicable Naraku, the village was…less than impressive. And to say that he was underwhelmed would be a vast understatement.

Shifting atop his mount, a chestnut gelding that had been his faithful companion for the last four years, Takeji frowned as he surveyed the sight before him. It was early afternoon, so men were out working in the fields, women were chatting amongst themselves as they laundered clothing at the river, and children were running about, playing and laughing while dogs barked at their heels. He could see the great red torii gate and the stone staircase that led to the shrine and he could hardly refrain from rolling his eyes.

The village was obviously poor, possibly even teetering on the edge of poverty, and instead of feeding themselves for a good long while, they decided to construct that monstrosity. He would never understand the minds of simple common folk. Daft. All of them.

Barely keeping himself from scowling, Takeji reluctantly climbed off his mount and forced himself to move forward into the pathetic excuse for a village. Already he knew he would have to burn his expensive attire; there would be no getting the dust and stench out of it after his ghastly visit. A visit he had not wanted to make, but being a highly revered and prestigious diplomat, it was his duty to travel to far off lands in hopes of establishing a profitable relationship that would ultimately benefit his homeland.

Although, looking around and fighting against the urge to retch at both the nauseating stench and the mere sight of all the unwashed villagers milling around, Takeji wondered not for the first time why he even bothered to accept this task. True, it was said the slayer of Naraku did hail from here, but surely having his homeland associated with this hovel would garner nothing but loss. So why had he agreed to come?

Oh, yes, he mused, grimacing as he stepped over a large manure pile right in the middle of the road. Because apparently, being all chummy with the nation's hero will allow us to have him at our beck and call, because who doesn't want a powerful demon capable of slaying the most evil demon in all of existence as an intimidating presence during negotiations, and let's not forget he alone would be equal to about one hundred soldiers in battle.

Rolling his eyes, Takeji tied his mount to a hitching post, withdrew his satchel with all the necessary paperwork, and set about finding this Inuyasha fellow. He'd been told the demon wore scarlet robes, carried a sword at his hip, and had white hair so no doubt he would stick out like a sore thumb amongst the droll browns and grays of the common folk, which suited him just fine. The sooner he was done, the sooner he could leave because there was no way he was staying even a second more in this village than he had to. Even if the next inn was hours away, he'd make the journey; the inn here was probably as unclean and riddled with bed bugs or something. Ugh. How vile.

Shrugging the satchel over his shoulder, Takeji bit back a groan, sighed, and hadn't even made it a single step before the sound of screaming froze him in his tracks. He gasped and immediately started looking for the danger, body tense, preparing to hop back onto his steed lightning fast and make a hasty getaway.

But as he looked around with wide eyes and a frantically beating heart, Takeji couldn't help but notice that he was the only one that appeared to have heard the sound of terror. The villagers were just continuing to go about their day, calm as you please, either severely deaf or completely uncaring. Takeji was beginning to wonder if he was perhaps hearing things when it happened again, a high-pitched sound that he realized with dread belonged to a child.

Takeji gaped. A child was in danger and nobody cared?! What kind of village was this?! Another shriek pierced the air, and Takeji made a decision. Very well; if these imbeciles weren't going to do anything about it, then he himself would see to the danger. While by no means a swordsman or warrior, he did have some weapons training he could fall back on for this precise reason. Traveling alone was dangerous, and you never knew what you would encounter.

Resolved, the diplomat set his jaw, unsheathed the dagger at his waist, and darted toward the direction the screams were coming from. He meandered between houses, hoped over lazing dogs, dodged startled villagers in his path, and he came into a small clearing by the forest's edge. The sight that greeted him was…not what he expected.

Coming up short, Takeji watched with a befuddled frown as one child chased around two other, slightly older looking children. One might think they were playing a game of sorts, and the diplomat started to believe that was indeed the case…until the one doing the chasing, clad in red, suddenly jumped high into the air, over the heads of the other two children, and landed before them with hands raised.

Hands, Takeji noticed with growing dread and disgust, tipped with claws on each finger and he quickly realized what exactly was happening. That wicked little demon brat, that creature was toying with those helpless children! It was keeping them trapped, preventing them from running away by leaping over their heads and blocking their route of escape! They screamed, the demon child laughed, and so potent was his fury, so enraged was he for the fact that the villagers apparently did not care about what was happening right beneath their noses, Takeji failed to notice the wide smiles on all three of the young one's faces. The blood pounding in his ears prevented him from hearing the gleeful giggles as the two human kids scrambled away from the one clad in red, and without another thought, Takeji moved.

"Run, children!" Takeji ordered as he hurled himself into the clearing, dagger raised as he charged toward the demon brat with a baleful glare. "I will take care of his filthy animal!"

All three children froze in place, eyes wide as Takeji inserted himself between the two human children - twin girls, he idly noted - and the demon spawn that dared raised its claws toward them. The brat stared up at him with big brown eyes and it - she - actually looked confused. Takeji scowled. He would not fall for such a ploy.

"I will not allow you to harm them," he spat and pointed his dagger at her. The child blinked at him and then looked behind him at the two girls who still had not taken the chance to flee. In shock, perhaps? Stunned? No matter; they were safe, so long as he stood between them and the threat.

The demon child made a face and started to walk around him, completely disregarding the weapon trained on her, but Takeji shifted and stopped her once more. He heard the two behind him whispering as the spawn looked up at him once again, this time frowning at him with narrowed eyes. And was that a growl he heard? He snorted. Was she actually trying to appear threatening? Pathetic.

Scowling, Takeji lifted a foot, placed it on her stomach, and shoved. The demon gasped as she stumbled back and then landed on her behind with a small grunt. He heard a gasp from behind him, urgent whispering, and then hurried scrambling. A glance over his shoulder told him they'd finally gotten wise and ran away. He nodded. Good. Now he could deal with this vermin without innocent eyes to bear witness.

But as he stared down at the pathetic sight before him, Takeji wondered maybe if such measures would even be necessary. The beast was still lying where she had fallen and was staring up at him with wide eyes brimming with…wait. What? Were those tears? Oh, you have got to be joking.

Rolling his eyes, the diplomat scoffed at the pathetic play for mercy and careless waved his dagger at her. The child actually flinched and followed the blade with her gaze, wariness clear in her eyes. Well. It appeared her self-preservation instincts have finally kicked in.

"Cease your theatrics," Takeji drawled, unimpressed. "They do not fool me. Now lucky for you, demon spawn, the pathetic sight you project has made me decide to spare your life. Your tainted blood is not worthy enough to soil my blade, so I will say this only one and you would do well to heed this warning, beast."

Hardening his stare and curling his lip into a sneer, Takeji spat, "Leave this place at once and do not return. There is no place for the likes of you, an abomination that preys on helpless children. Now get out of my sight, afore I kill you on principle. Your vile presence disgusts me."

The child grunted and Takeji watched, stone faced, as she got to her feet. Then to his surprise the little demon balled her hands into fists at her sides and glared at him, but the effect was ruined by the tears he could clearly see brimming her eyes. He cocked a brow, unmoved. She sniffled once, twice, and then to his utter surprise and bafflement, her face suddenly crumbled, her lower lip trembled, and she promptly burst into loud tears before spinning on her heel and running away.

"P-Papaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Takeji frowned. Papa? Were the brat's kin nearby, then? Body tense and weapon raised, he waited, prepared to either fight or flee - because he wasn't a fool and knew when he was in over his head - but when no demons came bursting out of the tree line, Takeji slowly relaxed.

Bewildered and more than a little annoyed at the whole debacle - what a waste of time! - the diplomat scoffed in derision as he turned to watch the little demon brat scurry away. And then right at that exact moment, a figure donned in red dropped to the ground seemingly out of nowhere and Takeji felt a wave of relief sweep through him. Finally! This had to be his demon quarry.

Nodding, Takeji stepped forward and opened his mouth to call out a greeting—

And then froze in his tracks as the greeting abruptly died on his tongue. Because the little demon girl, the one he'd just pointed his weapon at and shoved to the ground, ran straight to the figure robed in red and Takeji could do naught but watch with a growing sense of horrified dread as the older demon knelt down to take the child into his arms.

All color promptly drained from his face and Takeji suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He glanced behind the pair and he was somehow not at all surprised to find the twin girls from earlier glaring at them and holding onto the skirts of their mother with a monk garbed in violet robes beside her. They too were staring at him in a not so friendly manner, but upon returning his gaze to the two demons, Takeji numbly thought that if looks could kill, he would surely be dead by now.

Because the demon robed in red - which was now unmistakably the child's father and none other than Inuyasha, the demon he'd come here for - was glaring absolute murder at him and it was obvious that he was. Not. Pleased.

Takeji swallowed and unconsciously backed up a step. With one small hand fisting her father's robes, the child had the other pointing an accusatory finger at him as she no doubt recited to him their earlier…ah, exchange. Inuyasha said nothing in response, but he didn't need to. The deep, nearly subsonic growl that erupted from his mouth, complete with fully bared fangs in a truly fearsome snarl, told him very clearly of his thoughts on his daughter's mistreatment by him.

Which, if Takeji had to guess, were not very Takeji-friendly. At all.

Somehow managing to fight against the urge to flee, Takeji swallowed hard as Inuyasha pushed to his feet and stalked toward him with that same murderous look on his face. Something told him, perhaps some deeply rooted self-preservation instinct, that if he even tried to run right then, it would not end well for him. So he remained where he was and tried valiantly to control the trembling in his body as he slowly, very slowly, tucked his dagger back from whence it came.

Inuyasha stopped in front of him and Takeji cleared his throat before attempting a placating smile, but it looked more like a grimace than anything. "Ah…I assume you are…In—"

One second Takeji was staring into the scowling features of one pissed off dog demon. The next there was a bright flash of light and then he was staring at the business end of a very large and very sharp sword. With the tip just a hair's breadth away from his nose, Takeji gasped sharply and stumbled back a step out of instinct.

Sweet merciful heavens! How—?

"Usually I'd ask who the fuck you are," the demon growled, his eyes twin slits of baleful gold. "But honestly, I can't really bring myself to care enough to know the name of the asshole who threatened my daughter when she was doing nothing but playing with her friends."

Takeji blanched for the second time and he could actually feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat. He fucked up. Oh dear god he'd fucked up so bad—

"There's—there's been a misunderstanding," Takeji tried in a voice higher than usual, raising his hands up in what he hoped was a placating gesture as he eyed the very sharp point of that blade. "I—I admit I've made a grave mistake—"

"Shut the fuck up and tell me why I shouldn't gut you where you stand," Inuyasha hissed, lips feeling back off his fangs in another fierce snarl. With his ears pinned back and those golden eyes glaring absolute death at him, the demon made quite the menacing picture. Takeji had the brief, if a bit ludicrous thought, that perhaps the demon Naraku perished from the sheer animosity that was coming off of the silver-haired demon in waves.

Swallowing once, twice, Takeji realized that he only had his quick wit to get him out of his certain predicament. So bracing himself, he opened his mouth—

"He's from the continent, Inuyasha. You can't hurt him."

Startled hazel eyes swung toward the source of the voice but amber eyes stayed locked on their target, the only acknowledgment of the voice a flick of an ear.

The owner of the voice the human diplomat could only presume was the child's mother, as the child in question was standing behind her legs and was actually smirking at him. He frowned.

"You're from Shenshi," the woman remarked and Takeji swung his gaze back to her. "Right?"

Though her expression wasn't openly friendly, it wasn't exactly unfriendly either, however the human diplomat still felt he needed to tread carefully. Because while her face didn't betray anything, her stare was hard and her mouth had tightened into a thin, flat line. She had one hand on her daughter's head while the other clutched a longbow, and belatedly he realized she had a quiver of arrows slung across her back. He barely held in a flinch as he realized this was one of the demon's companions that had assisted in slaying Naraku, possibly the young woman in which Inuyasha held a more meaningful relationship.

A much more meaningful relationship, if the child currently glaring daggers at him was anything to go by since she was more or less living proof of it.

Wonderful. So he'd gone and threatened the only child of two of the most powerful beings in Japan. Clearly he'd stepped over the wrong grave and pissed somebody off.

Clearing his throat and aiming a strained smile toward the woman who was still awaiting his reply, Takeji nodded once. "Ah, y-yes, my lady. I'm—"

"The diplomat Ambassador Sharaku sent to convince Inuyasha to join his ranks so he'd have the support and protection of 'The Great Slayer of Naraku.'" The woman raised a delicate brow at him. "How am I doing so far?"

Takeji had the good grace to look a mite sheepish. "Ah…well—"

"You can't kill him, Inuyasha," she repeated and Takeji thought she sounded disappointed. "If he goes missing, the ambassador will send his troops to find out what happened or if he returns injured, it could be taken as an insult and you can imagine what would happen after that. You would risk mine or Moroha's life like that, and you know it."

Inuyasha growled but said nothing to refute her words, so Takeji assumed he agreed.

"He threatened her, Kagome," the demon spat, inching the blade closer to his throat and Takeji flinched. "Called her a fucking animal, shoved her down, and waved a goddamn dagger in her face! You can't honestly expect me to let that—"

"Papa," the child - Moroha - suddenly said, successfully stalling her father's angry tirade. A quick glance revealed the girl, still sticking close to her mother, was staring at the older demon with big brown eyes, bright with the threat of tears as she worried her bottom lip. And evidently the sight was enough to calm the raging storm of Inuyasha's fury because he grimaced, released a low growl, and then Takeji watched in stunned amazement as the massive sword suddenly transformed into a rusty katana before it was sheathed at his hip.

With a weapon no longer at his throat, Takeji could breathe a little easier and he released a breath he hadn't even been aware he'd been holding. But then he sucked it right back in when Inuyasha suddenly stepped in close and got in his face, a low, threatening growl leaking past rightly clenched teeth bared in another snarl. Golden eyes bore into his own, filled with a lethal warning that had the human male's back straightening and his blood to run cold in his veins.

"You listen carefully, asshole," Inuyasha hissed, glaring so heatedly it was a wonder Takeji didn't burst into flame. "Don't you dare think that my wife's words have any sort of sway over my decision to spare your pathetic life. I'm not scared of your weakling ambassador and I sure as hell ain't scared of his little human army. No, the only reason that I let you live is because I don't want my daughter, the one you foolishly threatened when she had done nothing wrong, to see me sully my hands with your disgusting blood when I reduce you to nothing more than a bloody smear on the ground."

Takeji paled and swallowed thickly. That particular image was…not pleasant.

Inuyasha watched the color drain from his face. Satisfied, he sneered before saying in a growl filled with sinister promise, "Now get the fuck outta my village and if you ever touch my daughter again, I'll gut you so fast you won't even have time to fucking scream."

Then with that, Inuyasha leveled him with one last dark scowl before spinning on his heel and stalking away, a clear dismissal. Neither mother nor daughter even spared the frozen human male a glance as Inuyasha paused to pick his daughter up into his arms before striding away, his wife close to one side and his friends on the other.

From over his shoulder, Takeji could only watch in a mixture of shock and befuddlement as the little demon girl named Moroha smirked and then stuck her tongue out at him, safe and sound in her father's arms.

Left standing in a state of numb bewilderment, Takeji blinked, looked down at himself, and had the passing thought that it was a very good thing he'd decided to wear brown trousers that day.

#mistake #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha #inukag #moroha #oneshot #keizfanfiction #papayasha to the rescuuuuue #i deliberately did not tag anybody in this and no i will not say why #and yes i did use sharaku because it sounds like naraku #listen dont fuck with his wife or kid #you will die #if you dont understand that last sentence #tough shit im not explaining it lmao

[nxmuzluv]

ariana birthday hcs !! —

it’s september 1st in south korea & japan rn,,,, so you know what that means

26th birthday hcs 👁👁

(this post is long as hell so brace urselves lmao)

on the morning of her birthday, ariana is woken up by either twitter and message notifications or her husband

her fans are blowing up her mentions with birthday wishes and her family & friends are doing the same, so bet that she has about a million notifs

since byakuya gets ready for work before ariana, he usually comes back to wake her up (even if she’s already up lol)

he hands her coffee (a caramel macchiato with a shit ton of cream and three sugars), tells her “good morning” and “happy birthday, love,” and kisses her on the forehead

(SOBBINFGMNBKJHBMK)

they usually have a short lil conversation about whatever (what they’re going to do that day, ariana’s birthday, other random topics) before byakuya tells ariana to go to work lol

but before she does, she usually opens twitter and scrolls down her birthday hashtags (which are already trending with about 100,000 or so tweets lmao), and responds to her text messages

three hashtags i came up with are “#AutumnFairyAri,” “#26WishesForAriana,” and “#아름이하트27개” (#27HeartsForAhreum) 🥺

(the last one is because ariana is 27 in korea lol)

guaranteed that she’s smiling like an idiot at those tweets lol

if her fans are lucky, ariana might like their post. if they’re extra lucky, she might even respond-

(cue the combustion of her fanbase)

then she posts a lil morning selfie, thanks her fans for all the birthday wishes, complains about how she has to go to work on her birthday, and then she finally gets ready for work lol

as ariana does, her fanbase is literally in flames lmao they’re screaming at her new selfie (“LOOK AT HER HAIR OMG MNJSHFJFMNGJ” - one of ariana’s fans, most likely), flooding her comment section, and taking over the trending page

ari and byakuya usually leave together, and ariana gets dropped off first, so when she does, they usually say goodbye to each other & byakuya gives her another kiss on the head

ofc they say “i love you” to each other, and if anyone around them has sumn to say about it, then byakuya can just make their jobs disappear !! 😗✌🏽

once ariana gets to work, she’s immediately greeted by another round of birthday wishes and the occasional gift (because oh my GOD she gets so many from her staff)

the best gift comes from her manager of 22 years, yoo miyeon. that woman is literally like ariana’s second mother it’s so cute-

miyeon usually says something along the lines of “remember when you were shorter than me ???” (it is now the other way around lmao)

near the end of her day, ariana sits in her company’s conference room, goes live on vlive, and opens the shit ton of gifts, cards, letters, and bouquets that were sent to her by her fans (and god damn doesn’t she get a lot-)

(ariana loves the bouquets,,, she literally squeals every time she sees that she got another one :(( she’ll be making flower arrangements with all of them later on lol and she’ll probably go live again 👁👁)

her birthday lives are one of the things ariana loves the most. she gets to speak to her fans, speak to her staff all casually, and her fans get to see her again. it’s a win-win :))

(bet, byakuya is watching that live when he has the time and has sent a message to ariana. when she spots his message, knows it’s him, and gets incredibly happy is one of the best moments of the live)

she also speaks to her family (they’re all in korea and america while she’s in japan 😕) during the live !! near the end, ari blows out the candles of the cakes that were bought for her by her staff and her family, and she answers questions from her fans

(lol remember back in 2011 when ari’s fans thought she was gonna finish high school & come back to korea, but instead she met this tall blond mf, fell in love with him, moved in with him, and then ended up marrying him 10 years later so now she’s really not coming back ??? lmao good times 🤣🤣🤣)

it’s a v nice moment & if you miss it, that’s such a loss lol ariana rarely goes live since she’s always so busy

after well over 12 hours, ari’s work day is finally over. on those types of days, she gets home before byakuya at around 7 or 8pm

after work, both of them go to dinner !! :))

while byakuya is coming home, ariana just gets ready. there’s a dress from byakuya that was hung by his staff in ariana’s closet (it’s black and designer, ofc 🙄✋🏽), and all ari has to do is shower, do her hair and makeup, pick out her shoes, and pick out a bag from the literal hundreds that she has

say it with me, y’all !! bag hag

ariana goes live on instagram while she does that as some kind of “get ready with with me” thing. she gets to talk to her fans again (especially her stan twitter ones lol), ask how she should style her hair & do her makeup, and ask what accessories she should choose

she also plays music in the background (especially britney spears, christina aguilera, the pussycat dolls, rihanna, nelly furtado, gwen stefani, lee hyori, or hyuna because they make her feel hotter than she already is lmao) !!

and ari sings to whatever’s playing and she gets haruka-

(am i allowed to put her here ??? i’ll just put here here lol 🤪)

-to say hi & help with her hair and makeup, so ariana’s lives are just a gold mine worth of content lmao

byakuya comes home just a lil while before ariana’s finished, and ofc, she forces asks him to say hi to her fans

lmao all that man does is silently wave with the world’s straightest face, and the chat is just yelling about how fine he is (“GO OFF RICH BOY” - one off ariana’s fans, probably). like HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHINGFGDHMBK

but as they should 😩☝🏽

ariana asks her fans if she should leave or stay on the live for a while longer, and ofc, they usually say that she should stay,,,, but that woman rarely listens tbh ASMNKHJFMNJK

she might stay for like,,, 5 minutes, but usually, she just leaves lmao

a lil while before she and byakuya leave, they talk to each other and to haruka for a while, and haruka probably most definitely takes polaroid pictures of ari and byakuya before they leave lol

(ariana def posts those on twitter later and all byakuya does is retweet them)

(but ofc he’ll tweet out a post wishing his wife a happy birthday,,, okay byakuya, look at you making progress !!)

the restaurant ariana and byakuya go to is of course very fancy and luxurious (it probably serves french cuisine too lmao). ari insists that they get a table on the rooftop, and since it’s her birthday (and since he loves her sm), byakuya complies :))

they talk the entire night, and if she can, ariana reaches over to hold byakuya’s hand most of the time :((

(taking a bit from rae’s hcs on how byakuya would celebrate his s/o’s birthday,,,,, like i’ve kinda been doing the whole time 🚶🏽‍♀️)

after dinner, the two of them will take a walk through tokyo. ariana would love it (well, not really, because she’s wearing literal heels lmao), especially since she and byakuya rarely get to do things like that. she’ll be taking pictures of things she finds interesting and would 100% ask byakuya to take pictures of her (and vice versa)

(she’s posting those on twitter too,,, ariana nation is getting fed well lol)

and then they can finally go back home and stay home, and ariana can finally open the rest of her gifts !!

they’re gifts from her family, her close friends, and of course, from byakuya and haruka !! ari’s literally smiling the whole time as she opens her presents (especially the ones from her family,,, hayley’s homemade birthday cards are always so cute 🥺), and haruka has that polaroid camera out again

(ariana: does anything)

(haru: you’re doing great sweetie !! 😀📸)

idk exactly what ariana would want for her birthday (tmw you don’t even know the preferences of your own character 🧍🏽‍♀️), but most likely, it’s either something homemade or a designer item lmao (mainly another purse-)

fun fact: her aunt josephine spoils the shit out of her lol like ariana could see a bunch of bags from chanel, louis vuitton, and yves saint laurent and automatically think “yeah, that’s my aunt lol”

ariana facetimes her family again, as well !! they get to speak to byakuya and haruka, they sing “happy birthday” to her in korean, they ask her if she liked their gifts, and it’s just a very cute family moment :))

it’s like,,, 11pm by the time ari finishes opening her presents, so she really has to go to bed

before that though, she spams her followers with the pictures that were taken, and posts one last “thank you” tweet before her birthday inevitably ends 😕

(well not really since it’s gonna be september 1st in other parts of the world lmao)

“everyone! thank u sooo much for all the birthday wishes u gave me today! it wouldn’t have been such a great one without y’all, my family, my best friends, my husband (@ByakuyaTogami), and my no. 1 fan, my sister-in-law lmao (@harukaonice). i love each and every single one of y’all with my entire heart, and i’m so glad u love me just as much 🥺 i saw as many of ur posts as i could, and i just wanna thank y’all for reaching over a million tweets! can’t believe y’all think that i’m that important lol (i mean, ofc i am 🙄✋🏻) anyways, once again, thank y’all smmmm! love y’all lots!! <3 ari <3” - ariana’s tweet 🥺 (that she posts in four different languages lol; english, korean, japanese, and french !!)

(SHE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART IM LITERALLY CRINGHMNHJDJGKM)

then ariana and byakuya finally go to sleep (it’s like 1am now jesus christ-), and ariana’s twitter notifications are still blowing tf up lmao

n e ways, that ends this behemoth of a post !! happy birthday to my baby, ariana park and even though she doesn’t exist (😕), i hope she enjoys it to the fullest !!

bonus !!

if she has a public appearance scheduled before or on her birthday, if fans are allowed to attend, they sing “happy birthday” to her whenever they see her !!

like, she could be entering a building and they would sing it, and then she could exit a few hours later & they’ll sing it again lol

ariana’s just like, “babes, you already sang this to me earlier !!”

when it comes to her “more important” birthdays (although her birthdays are always important)—such as her 18th, 20th, or 21st birthdays—ariana will throw quite a big party. like there would be a bunch of celebrities and popular society figures on the list,,, it would be a whole spectacle that the average person could only dream of getting into lmao (like me, ofc 🚶🏽‍♀️)

when ari was a child, her parents would throw a birthday party for her nearly every year lol,,, and while they were living in korea together, they would have dinner with nearly their entire family, too

(she always got two cakes, too,,, like it’s just kinda tradition for the park family at this point lol)

since ariana and jungkook (from bts) share the same birthday, either one of them message each other to wish each other a happy birthday !! ari also sends him a gift, while jungkook posts said gift on twitter and probably fanboys,,, i have a feeling that he would be a fan of her and her dramas,,, as well as the rest of bts

(they have each other’s numbers because ariana is a korean celebrity and they’ve attended events together on multiple occasions,,, ofc she and bts know each other lmao)

and i forgot to mention, but haruka would totally watch ariana’s birthday vlive if she didn’t have practice or something,,, probably sending as many messages as she can & aggressively hearting the live lmao,,, that girl really is ariana’s biggest fan SKJMNNFJMK

i also forgot to mention that JH entertainment (ariana’s agency) releases photos from a birthday photo shoot that they did with her !! they have different themes every year and they’re always so cute :((

they’re also taken prior to ariana’s actually birthday, especially since she’s always in japan now lol (but like,,, how do people not notice her going back and forth between korea & japan sometimes-)

(also, big verified accounts and celebrities on twitter & instagram wishing ariana a happy birthday >>>>>)

(celebrity tingz 🤪)

n e ways, now i’m done !! happy birthday, ari ilysm <3

(the character of haruka togami belongs to @raes-ramblings, btw !!)

#this took ALL FUCKING DAY #i started this when i was going to school & now school’s almost OVER #oh GAWD 🧎🏽‍♀️ #i’m so glad i finished this tho !! it was so fun to write :)) #once again happy birthday ari ily with all my heart !! #(and congrats on ur marriage 👀) #cece speaks :) #cece writes :) #danganronpa #danganronpa oc #headcanons #trigger happy havoc #danganronpa 1 #dr1 #trigger happy havoc oc #oc headcanons #byakuya togami #byakuya x oc #oc x canon

[kcrinas]

hi  sexies  !   i’m  dani  (  she/her  )  ,  21  &  i’m  from  the  gta  aka  ur  messy  canadian  wassup  🤠  thank  u  guys  sm  for  applying  all  ur  muses  are  so  beautiful  &  im  sm  in  love  already  !  i  rly  wanna  plot  w  every  single  one  of  u  so  pls  give  this  a  like  for  permission  for  me  2  come  bug  u  for  plots  !  🖤  karina’s  info  &  wanted  connections  r  under  the  cut  !

karina maji was spotted in the fashion district adorning gucci leather ankle boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to don’t stop by meg thee stallion . you may know them as @karina or as that mishti rahman lookalike . their  twenty - fourth  birthday just passed . while living in tribeca , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be tenacious but on the other hand quixotic . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines .  (   cisfemale / she/her + dani / 21 / she/her  )

             *     𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  :

full  name  :  karina aarvi maji  .

nicknames  :  kar  ,  rina  ,  maji

age  :  twenty  -  four  .

gender  :  cisfemale  ,  she/her  .

sexual  orientation  :  pansexual  .

hometown  :  chicago , illinois   .

occupation  :  professional  mma  fighter  /  instagram  model  .

zodiac  chart  :   aquarius  sun  ,  gemini  moon  ,  scorpio  rising  .

character  inspo  : alicia mendez (  kingdom )  ,  cristina yang (  grey’s anatomy )  ,  princess jasmine (  aladdin  )  ,  megara (  hercules  )  ,  alyssa  (  the  end  of  the  f*cking  world  )  ,  kat  stratford  (  10  things  i  hate  about  you  )

                  *  𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲  :

                                tw  :   death  ,  accident  ,  drugs  .  

karina’s  life  began  in  chicago  ,  illinois  .  born  where  her  parents  spent  their  life  ,  grew  up  together  &  eventually  ended  up  married  .  it  was  the  perfect  love  story  ,  best  friends  -  then  lovers  -  then  soulmates  .  tied  for  life  ,  married  young  ,  in  their  mid  20′s  .  but the  love  between  the  two  of  them  never  faltering  once  even  after  another  10  years  pass  .  

her  mother  ,  was  a  highly  sought  after  model  .  her  father  ,  one  of  the  most  legendary  ufc  fighters  in  the  league  .  the  maji’s  were  considered  royalty  to  the  tabloids  ,  their  love  story  inspiring  many  .  their  life   was  seemingly  so  perfect  ,  a  dream  to  many  .  &  when  they  found  themselves  blessed  with  a  little  girl  after  five  years  of  marriage  ,  it  just  made  them  an  even  more  “  perfect  ”  family  .

karina  was  treated  like  a  princess  ,  her  parents  adored  the  ground  she  walked  on  &  karina  did  the  same  with  them  .  she  was  well  -  behaved  growing  up  ,  knowing  how  lucky  she  was  to  be  living  so  luxurious  ,  something  her  parents  taught  her  to  appreciate  since  she  was  old  enough  to  understand  .  they  drilled  gratefulness  into  her  head  by  the  age  of  five  .  it  was  a  very  rare  occurrence  where  karina  would  fight  or  disrespect  her  parents  .

they  lived  in  chicago  for  many  years  ,  a  way  for  them  to  keep  their  roots  established  while  raising  karina  .  &  have  more  privacy  than  living  in  their  career  hubs  would  give  them  -  aka  ,  nyc  or  la  .  it  was  much  more  accessible  for  her  father  to  work  out  of  chicago  ,  but  for  her  mother  ,  there  were  many  hours  spent  travelling  between  chicago  &  new  york  .  too  many  .  

(   tw  death  ,  plane  crash  )  it  was  the  mere  age  of  17  ,  when  karina’s  loving  mother  never  returned  home  from  her  trip  to  new  york  .  tragedy  struck  when  her  plane  crashed  due  to  pilot  error  .  the  day  that  changed  not  only  karina’s  life  permanently  ,  but  her  father  too  .  both  their  hearts  broke  into  two  that  day  .

she  wondered  for  months  how  she  could  possibly  continue  life  &  living  without  her  mom  in  it  .  &  the  older  she  got  ,  the  more  &  more  the  feeling  invaded  her  .  through  every  life  experience  she  had  afterwards  she  wished  with  everything  in  her  that  her  mom  was  there  next  to  her  .  

karina  went  from  a  happy  ,  extroverted  &  polite  girl  to  a  closed  off  ,   sardonic  &  enigmatic  woman  .  it  was  as  if  the  light  was  taken  out  of  her  body  &  she  turned  into  someone  unrecognizable  . 

(  tw  drugs  )  it  tore  her  dad  apart  ,  after  taking  a  year  off  to  mend  ,  he  fell  into  a  spiral  of  alcohol  &  drugs  ,  and  he  never  went  back  .  his  career  completely  ended  .   to  this  day  ,  her  dad  hasn’t  stepped  foot  in  the  ring  since  her  mother’s  death  .

her  senior  year  of  high  school  -  karina  fell  into  that  same  spiral  .  using  cocaine  ,  xanax  ,  weed  &  booze  to  cure  her  broken  heart  .  &  she  felt  like  it  did  ,  for  a  little  while  anyway  .  by  some  miracle  ,  she  graduated  with  her  diploma  .  but  that  didn’t  mean  much  anyway  ,  karina  wasn’t  going  to  college   ,  she  knew  exactly  what  she  wanted  to  do  with  the  rest  of  her  life  .

karina  grew  up  religiously  watching  her  dad  fight  ,  she’d  seen  tapes  of  every  single  one  of  his  fights  before  she  was  old  enough  to  watch  them  &  from  before  she  was  born   .  religiously  trained  &  boxed  with  her  father  every  sunday  since  she  was  eleven  .  she  learned  the  ins  &  out  at  a  young  age  ,  &  fell  in  love  with  the  sport  the  second  she  took  her  first  swing  .  

she  fell  even  more  heavily  into  training  after  her  mom  passed  ,  spending  practically  every  single  day  honing  her  skills  &  building  herself  to  follow  in  her  dad’s  footsteps  &  become  one  of  the  best  fighters  the  ufc  has  ever  seen  .

began  building  her  career  at  eighteen  by  moving  to  new  york  city ,  she  was  signed  by  the  age  of  20  .  suddenly  appearing  in  the  tabloids  ,  there  was  something  about  her  that  seemed  to  bring  in  people’s  attention  .  mma  fans  or  not  ,   she  gained  a  large  following  on  social  media  .  

suddenly  ,  she  was  getting  sponsorship  offers  left  &  right  .  whether  it  was  mma  related  or  sugarbear  hair  ,  she  was  getting  them  .  karina  took  the  ones  that  paid  her  well  ,  &  her  following  just  seemed  to  keep  rising  every  day  after  that  ,  basically  became  considered  an  “ influencer ”  along  with  her  other  title  .  

at  the  age  of  21  ,  karina  became  one  of  the  youngest  female  ever  to  be  signed  by  the  UFC  .  this  was  a  big  deal  to  her  ,  as  it’s  a  dream  so  many  fighters  wish  for  .  something  it  takes  years  of  hard  work  &  dedication  to  accomplish  .  something  she  worked  her  entire  life  for  .

she’s  been  fighting  with  the  ufc  for  the  last  three  years  ,  loving  every  minute  of  it   .  the  intense  training  ,  the  fights  ,  the  interviews  ,  it  all  gives  her  a  rush  she  can’t  explain  .  something  drugs  couldn’t  give  her  ,  which  she’s  required  to  get  tested  for  every  once  in  a  while  ,  usually  before  a  fight  .  she’s  found  her  ways  around  using  without  it  ruining  her  career  and/or  getting  caught  .  let’s  see  how  long  that  lasts  ..  ; - )  ksjndfsfd

with  all  the  money  that  she’s  reigned  in  the  last  few  years  from  the  ufc  along  with  her  instagram  sponsorships  ,  she’s  sending  a  lot of  it  to  her  father  ,  considering  his  “retirement”  fund  is  basically  non  -  existent  while  he  stays  cooped  up  in  their  chicago  family  home  ,  surrounded  by  memories  of  her  mother .  while  karina  stays  resided  in  her  cozy  tribeca  home  ,  only  steps  away  from  her  training  gym  .

                *  𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  :

karina  is  a  v  hard  nut  2  crack  .  she’s  closed  off  ,  sardonic  &  doesn’t  really  converse  much  with  strangers  

it’s  basically  been  her  &  her  dad  since  her  mom’s  passing  ,  so  she’s  very  hard  to  get  close  to  .  but  once  u  do  ,  she’ll  never  let  u  go .

she’s  loyal  to  a  fault  ,  because  she’s  always  afraid  of  people  leaving / d*ing  .  

she’s  trying  to  branch  out  &  make  more  friends  since  moving  to  tribeca  ,  but  she  truly  doesn’t  open  up  to  anyone  .   if  she  opens  up  to  you  about  her  life  or  her  past  ,  she  truly  trusts  u  ,  &  that  means  something

she  tends  to  come  off  as  intimidating  or  ..  bitchy  ,  even  when  she  doesn’t  mean  to  .  her  personality  just  tends  to  be  dry  .  she  tends  to  have  dark  humour  ,  so  she  has  to  be  careful  who  she  makes  jokes  around skndfkk 

sometimes  tends  2  stir  up  drama  even  by  accident  .  nskjkf

if  she’s  not  training  for  a  fight  ,  she’ll  be  out  partying  every  night  .  dancing  on  tables  &  probably  getting  herself  kicked  out  of  whatever  bar/club  she  found  herself  in  that  night  .  doing  what  she  can  to  get  drunk  or  feel  any  type  of  high  ,  whether  that  be  drugs  or  waking  up  next  to  a  stranger  .  

she’s  heavily  into  fashion  &  always  posting  cute  outfits  on  instagram  ,  something  that  caused  her  following  to  grow  .

she’s  lowkey  a  hopeless  romantic  ...  seeing  how  her  parents  fell  in  love  ,   but  it  scares  tf  out  of  her  because  of  their  ending  .  &  she’d  literally  never  admit  this  to  anyone  ever  .

she’s  a  new  muse  &  i’m  still  developing  her  but  i  have  sm  muse  so  i’m  very  excited  &  i  rly  hope  you  guys  like  her  !

             *  𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬  :

ok  hello  if  u  read  that  long  ass  messy  shit  ur  a  baddie  🖤  anyway  ,  for  wc’s  ,  i  literally  have  so  many  !!  they  are  all  listed  here  @karinawcs​ ,  so  take  a  peek  &  if  you  like  any  of  them  lmk  bc  i  have  tons  of  headcannons / ideas  for  all  those  !  hehe  ily  let’s  plot  

#10 yrs later hfdkskf #sry this got so fkn long ... #plot w me pls 🥺🖤 #wealthyhq:intro

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D

As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :) 

I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships  @edupunkn00b  @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20

Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.

“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”

Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.

His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.

Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.

In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.

He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.

That was clearly for the best.

Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.

Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.

“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.

Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”

Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.

“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.

There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?

Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.

He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.

#fanfiction #ao3 #My story #ts fanfic #ts fandom #au #ts logan #ts virgil #assassin au #new chapter

[f-f-friend]

Prompt: Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, Lan Xichen, and Nie Mingjue playing some game together. Da-ge and Er-ge are completely defeated by sneaky baby bros NHS and MY

A/N: anon im so sorry i saw ur ask in the afternoon but it completely slipped my mind... then when i was halfway through typing this my tumblr refreshed and i lost EVERYTHING.... anyway here it is! i managed to post it despite all the mishaps... hope u enjoy! idk any games.. 

title: king of hearts 

Family game night, Lan Xichen thinks, is an invention by demons living in the deepest depths of hell. It is designed for the sole purpose of tearing families apart, and severing lifelong relationships. Whoever thinks this stuff is for promoting family bonding has NOT experienced the heartbreaking reality of it. Xichen sits on a cushion in his own living room, and he is completely crushed. Surrounding him are the faces of men who were once like family to him, but are now nothing more than enemies waiting to kick him while he’s down. He’s never felt so betrayed. 

Huaisang – Didn’t he help Mingjue raise him, doesn’t he always treat him like a little brother? When he gets sick, doesn’t Xichen always take care of him? When he failed that important test, and he was afraid to show his parents, who was the one to comfort him, and personally accompany him to tell his parents the truth? Who painted that fan that Huaisang is currently waving in front of his face, as he laughs at Xichen’s misfortune? 

And Guangyao – they’ve known each other since they were teenagers! Aren’t they in love? Xichen thinks they are; Just a few nights ago, he remembers, when Mingjue was asleep, Xichen (hopped up on coffee) and Guangyao (insomniac) had read boring documents to each other until they were too sleepy to talk anymore. Also, they’d gotten engaged, like, three months ago! Was all his affection, all his love, were they all lies? 

Xichen stares at the “Draw 4″ card in his hands, shaking with rage and sadness. 

“I had to give it to you, you have to believe me!” Guangyao desperately tries to convince him, his big eyes blinking. His voice trembles with feigned emotion. 

“I no longer know if I should believe you.” 

So this is what it feels like to be stabbed in the back, and by the ones you trusted the most in the world! Xichen stares at the faces of the two men who he once loved, now turned against him. His heart is shattering into a million pieces. Guangyao had struck the killing blow, and Huaisang had stood by, hiding his smiles behid his fan – but the fan couldn’t block out sound, so Xichen clearly heard him giggling at his plight.

At least Mingjue is still somewhat on his side. He’s the only one that looked at him with pity after he got the card, patting his hand (stuffed full of UNO cards, mostly thanks to Guangyao) comfortingly. 

Family game night is hell! Mingjue and Xichen had already lost a combined grand total of 20 different card and board games over the past four hours. Meanwhile, the two smug gremlins sitting across from them have taken turns to win each game. If this carries on, there’s bound to be a breakup. 

“Why don’t we play a different game?” Guangyao asks, smiling. “Since you two aren’t doing so well in this one either.” 

Mingjue, who’d looked like he was preparing to beat Guangyao up with the paper box that the UNO cards deck came in, melts when he sees Guangyao’s big eyes. Xichen would laugh at him for signing up so readily for his own destruction, but he’s no better. He sighs. 

“Fine. What next?” 

#3zun #nie mingjue #lan xichen #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #mdzs fic #my writing #answered #anonymous

[stumbleintothesun]

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.

[artificialqueens]

The Goode Case, 1/14 (Jaida/Jan) - Juno

Summary: The case of the missing heiress and NYU senior Gigi Goode throws New York detective Jaida, along with her colleagues Brita and Jackie, into a mystery. Especially when the case takes a paranormal turn. And Jaida is not ready to face her truth. 

Chapter Summary: Being on call on a Saturday is a drag, but a clue and two witnesses can’t wait until Monday. Not when it’s been thirty-six hours since Gigi Goode disappeared.

(A/N: Hi all - after lurking for a while I’m posting for the first time! The ship(s) are REALLY slow burn, and the whole fic is huge by complete accident, so if you’d rather read it on AO3 it’s over there too. So here’s the insane detective au that no one asked for. I hope you enjoy!)

Saturday 28th October

9.30AM

It wasn’t the usual alarm that made Jaida roll over sleepily, even though initially she thought it was. 

She liked to organise her life separately, and that included her phone tones. One tone for family, one tone for Heidi and her other closest friends, one for colleagues, and one for strangers. Of course sleep threw her memory out of the window, and in thinking she was hitting the sleep button, she inadvertently declined the call instead.

The phone sounded again a few seconds after Jaida had closed her eyes and thrown her arm back over her face, drifting back into her dream. This time, coming to, she picked up the phone and peered at the screen. Jackie’s name had come up. 

Of course, she realised – it was a work tone, not an alarm.

“This is Hall.”

“Jaida, I think there’s been an update on the case you’re on.” 

How did Jackie sound so put-together this early on a Saturday? And how would she know about the case anyway? Brita was heading it, while Jackie had been working on something different. Surely Brita would have been the one to call?

“What’s the update?” 

“Something to do with the abandoned property on Westfield Avenue.”

“You mean the old Visage guest house?” Jaida rubbed her eyes. “What does that place have to do with anything on the case? You know damn well it’ll just be more kids playing around. Brita and I got called there to break up a party or something three weeks ago.”

“I’m not sure. But what I do know, is that it will be me and you. And you know what that means, don’t you?”

Jaida nodded grimly. 

Jackie’s – unusual – talents weren’t really publicly known, but they weren’t really unknown either within the office.

“If you nod, I can’t hear you.”

“Okay okay, I’m getting up.” Jaida stifled a yawn. “Is it plain clothes or uniform?”

“Uhm,” Jackie paused, “I didn’t catch that part. But don’t come round yet. Just wait for Brita to call you. Don’t tell her I called first, you know how she gets.”

Jaida put down the phone, stretched and rolled to the edge of the bed, sitting up. 

“Phone call from Brita in five, four, three …”

Her phone was ringing again before she could even finish counting. This time it was the friend tone, she saw Brita on her screen, in a selfie they had taken together. 

While Jackie was still relatively new to the team, Brita and Jaida went way back. Three long years on the team as Detectives, and even with Brita’s recent promotion to team leader, half a step below Sergeant, they were still tight. Jaida preferred to keep some separation, but Brita had graduated to a friend, not just a colleague.

 “This is Hall.”

 “Jaida. Wait. You’re awake?” Brita sounded incredulous.

“Sure.” 

“On a Saturday?”

“Girl …”

“… before noon?”

“Shut up, Brita.”

There was silence for a few moments. “Has Jackie already called you?”

“No,” Jaida said, but she knew it was a little too fast.

Brita sighed on the other end of the phone. “She’s really starting to get on my nerves. I told her not to do her telepathic stuff on me unless I ask her to, or like, I’m unconscious at a crime scene. I don’t need her reading my mind whenever Chief gives me an update on a case.”

“I don’t think she can always control it, especially if you’re shocked by something. And you know she doesn’t normally. You said you can feel it when she does it! That’s more than what I can do.” 

“Anyway, a clue has been found at the old Visage guest house. The one that’s been abandoned since the 80s. A gold anklet. Check your email when I ring off for the photo and the updated report on the case.”

Jaida sighed. “Plain or uniform?”

“Plain, until we know more. Can you be here at eleven?”

“Sure.” Like she had a choice.

When Brita hung up, Jaida sent a quick text to Heidi, who she’d promised to meet today for a shopping trip.

Jaida: Heidi Aphrodite x

Heidi: hey gorg xx

Jaida: Hey, got an emergency at work. Can’t come out today. Sorry, will make it up to you next Saturday if you want? 

Heidi: Jai you promised! How am i gonna look hot tonight for my date without u to get me fashion tips? Xx

Heidi: im gonna look like a witch lmao x

Jaida: Sorry H. She gonna love u anyway though! And no you won’t look like a witch! Xx

Eleven was pushing it, so Jaida opted for a pair of plain black jeans with a black polo neck sweatshirt, the first things to appear before her in what she called her “boring shelf” of her drawers, where she had the plain clothes for work. There wasn’t even any time for makeup really – she just swiped a layer of mascara and lip gloss and seized her bag before heading out the door of her room.

“Hey, Widow,” she called to her housemate, who was already up and in the living room, her paintbrush in hand, holding it up to the window and using it to measure the angles of the view outside. “You get much sleep last night?”

“Not much,” Widow said, not turning from her painting, “been up since the crack of fucking dawn.” She dabbed a bit more of the orange and ran it into the colours already on the canvas, spilling some onto the newspapers on the floor, and the band shirt and long shorts she wore, which were already covered in paint. “I can’t even remember what the sun looked like.”

Jaida inspected the painting from afar, a gorgeous interpretation of the sunrise from their apartment, which faced east, in Widow’s favourite set of acrylics. 

The sun had long risen already and was now behind some dark clouds, but Widow was working partly from the outside, and partly from a photo she’d taken from her phone. Her strokes were frantic, paint dotting the newspapers that she always put down.

“Did you even try to sleep last night?” Jaida asked warily.

“Bitch of course I did, but I can’t sleep much right now, you know how it is.” Widow wiped her brow with her forearm and reached down to the table behind her for the mug of black coffee she’d poured herself. 

“There’s some coffee in the pot if you want some?”

“Nah, I got to work. Emergency.”

“You’re fucking married to your work, Jai,” Widow said sadly, picking up the brush again and dipping back into the orange, still not looking at her. “There’s more to life.” 

Jaida wanted more than anything to stay here and comfort Widow, but she knew she’d miss the bus if she stayed much more. Instead she went to give her a kiss on the cheek and a one-armed hug before seizing her coat and bag and heading out the door. 

It was October, late October, and it was already turning cold this year. Jaida tugged her coat around her and blew into her hands as she stood waiting for the bus. Once she was on, it was a long ride into the city, and she got to settle into her seat and finally open her email. 

The photo was just a photograph of an anklet sent from a phone, on the white table so as to make it stand out. But the report that Brita had attached, it was the Goode case. 

Jaida frowned. Brita and Jaida had been working on that yesterday, but Jackie was on a different case, so that couldn’t be right. And it wasn’t like Brita not to double-check exactly what she was sending her. She’d have to check with her when she got to the office.

11.04AM

“Sorry I’m late,” Jaida lied through her teeth as she dashed into the meeting room. Four minutes was neither here nor there, but Brita was always on time for everything, and a few minutes was still a slight affront. 

Jackie, next to Brita, raised an eyebrow in a way that let Jaida know that she wasn’t convinced.

“Traffic?” Brita asked.

“Traffic,” Jaida nodded. “And that driver, he didn’t know the green light from the red one. Took the car behind beeping like crazy for him to move.”

Jackie’s other eyebrow was raised now too. Jaida didn’t feel guilty in telling a little white lie, but she did occasionally forget about Jackie’s telepathic abilities. Unlike Brita though, Jaida couldn’t tell when Jackie was hearing her thoughts, so Jackie had probably seen through her mind that Jaida had spent the last ten minutes hurriedly gulping down her Starbucks rather than in a traffic jam. Honestly, Jaida probably could have done with some more coffee, but needs must and all that. 

She gave Jackie a look, and repeated in her mind just go with it just go with it just go with it as loudly as she could think, until Jackie looked away.

“Okay, well now that you’re here, we need to discuss the morning’s itinerary,” Brita said, unfolding the paper she’d printed. “Here’s the revised report.”

“Yeah about that, I think you sent me the wrong one,” Jaida interrupted.

“I know what you’re thinking, but the new clue does seem to relate to the Goode case.” Brita nodded grimly. 

“Has Jackie been filled in on the Goode case?”

“Well, I read the report,” Jackie replied. “Georgina Goode, twenty-two, senior in fashion design at NYU, missing since Thursday night, that sound about right?”

“That sums it up, yes.” Brita unfurled the map of the area. 

“Georgina was last seen at a party on Northfield, here, on Thursday night, several witnesses have confirmed that. We’re on Saturday morning now. Last sighting was on a security camera on the corner of Northfield and Westfield, and that was at …” Brita glanced at the date stamp on the camera print out. “Eleven twenty-nine. Georgina was turning onto Westfield through that camera. The first camera on Westfield is still undergoing repairs, and the second one never caught her.”

“Could she have gotten into a car?” Jackie asked, but Brita shook her head. 

“No cars on camera were recorded on any of the streets at that time, not until eleven thirty-five. And that driver was interviewed first thing this morning. His alibi is water-tight.”

“So she’s been gone for thirty-six hours,” Jaida nodded. “And her parents are still saying she’s not home?”

Brita shook her head, chewing her bottom lip grimly. 

Jaida felt her heart sinking. The fact that Georgina was heading into the second day of being officially missing, meant that this investigation was more and more likely becoming a search for a body rather than a person. 

“And the anklet that’s been found, is it Georgina’s?” 

“We’ve yet to have confirmation from the parents, but we did get some … uh, unusual new witnesses to the case. Two students from NYU. They went to the Visage guest house to do some paranormal stuff,” Brita used her fingers to make speech marks. “They’re the ones who found the anklet, and one of claims it’s Georgina’s. They’ve agreed to interview today, at eleven thirty.”

“I thought that house was boarded up?” Jackie asked. 

“Well, one of them found a loose window. Let the other one in. And it’s a good thing they did,” Brita said darkly, “because otherwise we’d have no leads yet. And it gets more interesting from there.”

“How?”

“Come with me,” Brita beckoned to them both, “and we’ll go set up for interview. I’ll watch the monitors.”

11.30AM

The witness room had the blinds drawn to keep out the sun, for even though it wasn’t the warmest day, the windows in that room could heat it right up in a heartbeat if the sun was out. It meant that the light was on, even though it was still early. 

The two women were also seniors, as Georgina was. From the notes Jaida had been given, they were Kristen and Ava, and Jaida read that Kristen shared classes with Georgina, while Ava knew her through Kristen. One of them was trembling while the other looked quite placid. 

Jaida looked from one to the other, then down at her notepad, while Jackie sat down next to her, her eyes darting between the two witnesses as she pressed the record button. 

Jaida cleared her throat. “So, uhm, Kristen and Ava –“

“No! We’ve said this ten times already!” The more nervous of the two piped up. “I’m Crystal, she’s Aiden! Whoever wrote down our names in the lobby wrote them wrong!” Crystal, the one who was speaking, put her head in her hands, obscured by a curtain of curly red hair. Aiden put a hand on Crystal’s shoulder to calm her down.

“Sorry about my friend, she’s not normally this anxious, we’ve just had – an experience,” Aiden said quietly. 

Jackie nodded. “I understand.” 

She was trying to sound sympathetic, but Jaida caught a hitch in her voice, felt Jackie tense up suddenly. Even with their mental connection, Jaida could not read minds, so Jackie’s thoughts would have to remain a mystery for now at least. 

“I’ll adjust it now,” Jaida muttered, crossing out the names and re-writing them. “Right, Crystal and Aiden, you found the anklet in the old guest house?”

Crystal emerged from behind her hands. “Yeah, yeah we did.”

“Why were you there? Did you think Georgina would be there?”

“She – she’d mentioned something about it,” Crystal was shivering, Aiden rubbing her shoulder, seemingly encouraging her to go on.

“Do you remember what she said exactly?” Jaida asked, pen hovering over the notepad.

“She said it had been owned by a relative,” Crystal replied. “I can’t remember who, some distant relative.“ 

“The Visage family closed the house after a few controversies back in the eighties,” Jaida said. “Were the Visage family related to Georgina’s?”

“No one calls her Georgina, she’s Gigi.”

“Alright, well were they related to Gigi?”

“I mean, I don’t know, but she said they were!” Crystal’s voice was rising in pitch, shaking with emotion. Aiden continued to rub her shoulder while she took a couple of deep breaths to relax. 

Jackie’s breathing on the other hand was shaky next to Jaida, and Jaida wished that Jackie would leave the room or something, if she was getting something mentally from these girls.

“So you went to the house. Did you think Gigi was inside it?”

Jaida managed to catch Aiden, whose face had been expressionless so far, tense a muscle in her jaw and her eyes dart to Crystal, who met them before looking back at Jaida. 

“I don’t know.” Crystal shook her head. 

“You sure?” Jaida asked.

“Well,” Crystal began, but Jaida saw it clearly this time; Aiden give her shoulder a rapid squeeze, and Crystal sighed. “I thought I saw her inside. But I was wrong,” she added hurriedly. Aiden, next to her, tensed her jaw again. 

“Inside? In the building?“ 

Aiden took her hand away from Crystal. 

“I didn’t see her,” Aiden said, speaking finally, “but Crystal said she did, so I looked around and I – I found a loose board in one of the windows,” she shrugged. “I didn’t see the issue with taking it off to get in, especially if Crystal said she saw someone.” Her tone was defiant.

“You girls aren’t in trouble for going in, if you think she was there,” Jaida tried to calm her down, “but you’re saying you didn’t see her?”

Aiden paused before shaking her head. “No, I didn’t.”

“But she must have been there, because that’s her anklet! I gave her that for her birthday last December, she’s worn it ever since!” Crystal cried. 

“You recognise the anklet? In this picture?” Jaida slid the photo of it to her.

In response, Crystal leaned into her chair and raised her right leg to the table, lifting her floor-length skirt away from her ankle. She was wearing an identical anklet to the one in the picture.

“We have the same ones! Matching ones. She’s my best friend.”

Crystal was seemingly holding back tears now; and as she put her foot back on the floor, she rubbed her eyes ferociously with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, I want you to take me seriously, I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw. I saw Gigi, and we found the anklet, so she must have been there.”

“So you found the anklet, but did you see any other sign of disturbance?”

“I don’t – I don’t know. We just found the anklet, and we – we left,” Crystal stuttered, glancing at Aiden as if for confirmation.

“You didn’t see or hear any people? No one in there?”

“No, no one,” Crystal said.

“You sure?”

Crystal nodded. Aiden’s left eye gave a definite twitch. 

Jackie pushed back her chair, muttering something about needing water. She stumbled to the door of the witness room, pulling it open and rushing away. 

“I think we should wrap up for now on this,” Jaida said, rapping her notebook. “But before we do, is there anything else we should know that you have that could help us with the investigation?”

They both hesitated.

“Remember that your friend is missing,” Jaida said as gently as she could. “If you know anything that could help her, you’re doing the best by her in telling us.”

Aiden shook her head slowly, biting her lower lip.

“I don’t think I do,” Crystal muttered. “But … can I call you if, you know, anything else happens?”

Jaida slid her card over the table. “Sure, any time you need to.”

She turned off the recorder and let the two students leave the room, before turning out herself, locking the door behind her. They hurried down the corridor, back to the lobby, and disappeared out of the building.

Back in the meeting room, Jaida entered to find Brita was clutching Jackie’s shoulders, Jackie still shaking in fright, a glass of water shuddering in her hand. Jaida made sure the door to the meeting room was closed.

“Child, what was that about?”

“Jaida,” Brita warned, but Jackie put her glass down on the table.

“No, Brita, I need to tell her too! She probably noticed the same thing.” Jackie sat down in the chair, joined by Brita next to her, while Jaida took an opposing seat.

“It was so … weird,” Jackie’s voice quaked with emotion, “but that girl with the short hair, Aiden, I got – I got nothing at all from her.”

“Nothing? That’s weird,” Jaida agreed. 

“Not even the whispering?”

“Nothing!” Jackie cried, pushing back her fringe. “It was so strange! I don’t think I’ve ever had that from someone! I mean, I know I have to have a connection with people to read them clearly, but most people at least whisper! I don’t get why … why I didn’t even hear that!”

“And the other one? Crystal?” Brita asked quietly.

Jackie took a deep breath to steady herself, suddenly stone-cold and calm, and looked Jaida straight in the eyes. 

“She’s like you, Jai.”

#rpdr fanfiction #jaida essence hall #brita filter #jackie cox #widow von du #heidi n closet #crystal methyd #aiden zhane #jaida x jan #lesbian au #detective au #the goode case #juno #fic challenge #black girl magic fic #diversity fic #s12 #submission

[pandawritespoorly]

And: Chapter 2 - Without

Author’s Note: Thank you all so much for your patience again! I meant to have this up on Tuesday, but between school finally starting back up, and getting back into the habit of regular updates, it just didn't happen. I promise I wasn't disappearing again!

First | Last

Marinette sits up when she hears a notification from that app. She and Chat had found a messaging app that they could both use without revealing their identities, and had been using it to communicate without having to transform.

It was already hard enough to sneak away for attacks, they didn’t need to make it more complicated.

It’s just a quiet study hour in the library, and she’s alone, so she pulls out her phone.

 Cat Boy: hey bug

Cat Boy: weird question

Cat Boy: do you

Cat Boy: do u think that i weigh 2 much

 Little Lady: no!

Little Lady: not at all kitty

Little Lady: underneath all that armor and magic leather im pretty sure your waist is the same size as mine

Little Lady: if anything you dont weigh enough

Little Lady: im bringing snacks on patrol

Little Lady: this is non negotiable

Little Lady: text me ur favorites

Little Lady: but later. what brought this on

 Cat Boy: just civilian stuff

Cat Boy: i know i’m not overweight

Cat Boy: but seeing the numbers andstuff all the time it can kind of stick in ur head you know

Cat Boy: and then u start thinking about it

Cat Boy: and it sticks around longer

 Little Lady: and then it’s taken root

 Cat Boy: yeah

 Little Lady: then we have some weeding to do >:(

 Cat Boy: :)

Cat Boy: thanks bug

 Little Lady: not a problem

---

Little Lady: do i do enough

Little Lady: like

Little Lady: all of this

Little Lady: is it good enough

Little Lady: paris and the kwamis and the akumas and hakwmoth

Little Lady: shouln’t I have fixed all of this bu now

Little Lady: it’s what im here for

Little Lady: but theres sill so much wrong and i feel like im not enough right to cancel it all out

Little Lady: and i just

Little Lady: i feel so bad

Little Lady: but half the time i dont even kno what i fel bad about u kno

Little Lady: i jsut fell bad

Little Lady: abuto evryting

Little Lady: o goodenss it 3 am

Little Lady: sory

Little Lady: ignreo tihs

 Cat Boy: bug

Cat Boy: breathe

Cat Boy: five things you see

 Little Lady: pilwo phonoe tiki cieling um

Little Lady: blankt

 Cat Boy: four things you feel

 Little Lady: bed

Little Lady: pilow hair sheets

 Cat Boy: three things you hear

 Little Lady: cars wind and keyboadr clicks

 Cat Boy: two things you smell

 Little Lady: the candle i had burning and bread

 Cat Boy: bread?

 Little Lady: bakery nearby

 Cat Boy: oh okay

Cat Boy: one thing you taste

 Little Lady: cookies

 Cat Boy: there we go

 Little Lady: thank you

 Cat Boy: no problem

Cat Boy: do u want to talk

 Little Lady: later. maybe on patrol?

Little Lady: i’m tired. haven’t slept all weekend

 Cat Boy: …

Cat Boy: bug it’s MONDAY

Cat Boy: wait no

Cat Boy: TUESDAY

Cat Boy: go to bed

 Little Lady: goodnight kitty

 Cat Boy: gn littlebug

 Today 9:32 AM

 Little Lady: hey! im not that much shorter than you!

Little Lady: >:(((

--- 

“Are you sure, Lila?” Adrien asks, a frown creasing his face. “That doesn’t sound like something Marinette would do.”

“Well I-”

“My dude’s right,” Nino agrees, “That doesn’t sound like Nette at all.”

Adrien watches Marinette brighten quietly as the rest of the class comes to her defense. They all believe Lila still, yes, he’s not going to let the liar turn them on their Everyday Ladybug. Not on his watch.

After class, the dark haired girl approaches him. She gives him a soft hug, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’.

---

“Adrien,” Marinette calls.

The blond stops, turning. “Hey, Marinette. Did you need something?”

She shakes her head, giving a small smile, holding out a paper bag. “You were gone all morning for that photoshoot. I thought you might be hungry.”

Adrien freezes, staring at her in shock.

After a moment, she cringes, looking away. “B-but um, if you aren’t-”

He shakes his head, realizing his mistake. “No! No! Thank you so much! I just- You surprised me.” He gives her a grateful smile, trying to keep himself from crying. “I- that- I wasn’t expecting this. You’re wonderful, Marinette, really.”

She blushes violently as he takes the bag, digging into the pastries with a smile.

“I don’t usually remember lunch after shoots, so…”

She stares at him in horror. “That’s it,” she declares, “I’m bringing you lunch now. Everyday. No matter what.”

“How much? I’ll pay-”

“No, Adrien, we’re friends. You don’t need to pay me. Maman is always saying how she thinks you need to eat more anyways, so my parents would probably just give you free food if you so much as glanced in the window. I’m just making their dreams come true.”

He laughs, and she takes a moment to appreciate such a carefree look on the busy model’s face.

He’s happy.

That’s good.

---

Cat Boy: u okay bug

Cat Boy: u seemed upset today

 Little Lady: im fine

Little Lady: just

Little Lady: tired

Little Lady: i should probably go now class will start soon

 Cat Boy: okay

Cat Boy: if you say so

 Adrien tries not to let his worry for his partner show as he slips his phone into his pocket and makes his way to Bustier’s class.

The battle was easy - Ladybug didn’t even need her Lucky Charm - but Cataclysm had been a requirement for this particular fight, so he hadn’t had time afterwards to check in with his friend.

He’s never good at focusing when he’s worried.

Nino slings an arm around him as they meet up on their way to class.

“Hey dude, um, I hope you don’t mind sitting with Nette today. She’s pretty wiped out - Al’s said she said somethin’ about a big commission? I dunno’, but we figure the less high up she is, the better, so I’m takin’ her seat today so she can go ground level.”

“Oh that’s fine! Is she okay?”

Nino gestures at the girl as they enter. She’s slumped forward, making her already small form even smaller, and while her sketchbook is out, the page is blank, and her pencil isn’t anywhere to be seen. There’s a to-go cup of coffee in the corner of the desk, and her head rests on her hand, her eyes staring blankly forward, unresponsive.

Adrien winces. “Goodness.”

“Yeah…” Nino shakes his head, then heads towards the girl’s usual seat. “You take care of her, alright?”

Adrien nods, sliding into his usual seat. “Hey, Mari,” he greets softly.

She straightens, blinking a few times before turning to face him with a weak smile. “Hey.”

“You feeling alright?”

She doesn’t get a chance to respond before Ms. Bustier walks in and class starts.

The lesson feels slow. Between Marinette and Ladybug, Adrien has the urge to hug someone and tell them that they’re okay, and that they’re good.

Both girls, at this point. The look in Marinette’s eyes is the same as Ladybug’s when she’s overworking herself to avoid thinking about something. The nights when he sees her patrolling even though she isn’t scheduled and he has to transform to go talk her into resting. The fights where she throws herself at akumas less thoughtfully, more brash. The post-battle interviews where her answers are slightly delayed, her eyes endlessly tired.

So when class is finally over, Adrien puts a gentle hand on her shoulder to keep her from going. Once everyone has filed out, he gives a small, worried smile.

“Are you feeling okay, Marinette?”

“I’m fine.”

“Marinette.”

She hesitates, her eyes straying from his to stare at nothing in particular. “I’m fine, Adrien, really. I’m just… just tired.”

“The coffee probably isn’t helping,” he teases.

“The coffee is my lifeblood.” She smirks, then sighs. “But I’m more than just sleep-tired.”

“Oh.”

She stands, gathering her things. “But thank you. For asking. And for caring.”

“Not a problem.” He hands her her sketchbook. “You deserve it.”

She looks at the sketchbook, then at his smile, and gives a genuine one of her own. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

---

Author’s Note: Next (and final) chapter will be up sometime next week! I'll try to post weekly one-shots until I have A Shy 'Sparrow' fully written, and then I'll put that on a regular schedule.

Thank you all so much! Have a lovely day and stay safe! 💞

First | Last

#miraculous ladybug #and #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #good friends #good partners #partners support each other #tired marinette dupain cheng #hurt/comfort #fanfic

[seblos]

there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach - ch 2/10

chapter title: let’s stop swirling, and start twirling

word count: 3,351

[one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine (coming soon)]

read on ao3

Carlos now has a hall pass to miss the last 15 minutes of study hall so he can get to rehearsal early. He probably would have been allowed to leave without one, considering everyone in the cast had been excused half an hour early for costume fittings, but he has Mr. Mazzara to thank for the small yellow paper he clutched in his hand now.

Miss Jenn was already in the bomb shelter by the time he gets there, quickly typing away at her phone until she notices Carlos standing in front of her.

“Carlos, perfect, just in time!” Miss Jenn says as her phone made a fwoosh noise, confirming some order that Carlos couldn’t see. “I left the box of scripts in my office, so can you set up the desks and name cards for the read through? I’m thinking a circle for all the named roles, plus me, you, and our stage manager, and then the ensemble and the rest of tech can just be grouped together behind.”

He was about to ask why not just put everyone in a circle, but Miss Jenn had already made her way out the door towards her office. He shrugs, not caring enough to argue with her judgment. Miss Jenn knew what she wanted; he might as well follow her agenda.

Carlos arranges the desks the way she had asked, then quickly slides over the top of one as he begins putting down the name cards for everyone. He starts with his own choreography card (keeping a mental reminder to take a photo with it later) then director, stage manager, Chad, Troy, Gabriella, and Taylor.

The next card stops him though. Carlos reads over the neat printed “Sharpay” as the conversations he had with Seb from auditions washed over him, warming his heart.

 He glances over at the desk he had left off on, almost directly across from where he was sitting. Instead of putting it there, though, he bit his lip and turns, dropping the card on the desk next to his instead. 

With that, he kept going around the circle acting as if nothing happened. He makes sure to put the Ryan card next to Sharpay just in case anyone decides to ask why Seb was all the way on the other side of the circle from the other leads. Miss Jenn came back in a few minutes later with the box full of scripts.

“Oh that looks perfect!” she tells him, looking at the arrangement. Carlos sucks in a breath, expecting her to say something about the out of place Sharpay name card, but she doesn’t say anything about it.

The theatre kids begin filing through the door just as the bell rang for school to end as Carlos swipes through the few notifications on his phone as Miss Jenn calls for everyone to take their assigned seats. Nothing important, just a new post from Ashley Tisdale on Instagram, a few new twitter followers (he was surprised to see EJ Caswell was one of them) and-

Carlos groans, showing Miss Jenn the text he had gotten from Natalie.

“Who is Natalie Bagley and why do I care if her glands are swollen?” she asks.

“Our stage manager. Guess she’s not coming,” Carlos says, switching off his phone.

Miss Jenn immediately called out Ricky’s friend, Big Red, and asked him to read the stage directions. Part of Carlos is upset that she didn’t just ask him to do stage directions since it wasn’t like he had any lines to read, but it was fine. They needed more tech kids anyway, maybe this would convince him to join backstage.

Or so he thought, considering the next near-hour and half was spent painfully listening to Big Red read the stage directions. Carlos at one point had shot Miss Jenn a pointed look, who looked stressed out of her mind as she asked him to read the punctuation. Unfortunately, Big Red had taken that seriously, and no one had the heart (or the energy) to correct him after he started reading “Sharpay comma heads for class period.” This, plus Carlos’s ADHD made him feel like he needs to take a lap around the school. Maybe around all of Salt Lake City before he’s ready to come back to this.

Instead, he chooses to glance over at Seb to his left, who looks just as spaced out as everyone else did. An idea pops into Carlos’s brain, and he quickly scribbles down an SOS on the blank sheet of paper he had been using to take choreo notes (in which there were none, yet. He couldn’t focus like this anyway.) He then folds up the note and tries to make eye contact with Seb.

Unfortunately, the farm boy was still spaced out as ever, staring at the pages which he turned while everyone else did, although his eyes weren’t moving along the words. 

The universe decides to apparently help him out, though as while Carlos was trying to get Seb’s attention, he doesn’t notice his pencil rolling off the table until it was too late. It clattered on the floor, not catching the attention of anyone except for the boy sitting next to him. 

Seb breaks from his trance, reaching down to grab the pencil before handing it to Carlos with a grin, and Carlos uses it as his shot to quickly hand the boy the note as he takes his pen back. 

He takes the piece of paper in surprise, cocking his head at Carlos for a moment as he unfolds the paper as quietly as possible. For a moment, Carlos wonders if it had been a bad idea.

Until, Seb reads the note and a smile grew on his face, grabbing a pen from his backpack nonchalantly so he wasn’t writing back in highlighter. Carlos noted that it was cow print and wrote in shimmery light blue ink, which, aw. 

He passes it back a moment later, and Carlos grins as he reads the response. Underneath his SOS in round, loopy writing is Seb’s bubbly ikr? big red is the sweetest but this plus my adhd my brain is GONE.

Carlos grins when he reads it. He didn’t know Seb had ADHD too (it’s not exactly something he advertises either, to be fair) but it’s always nice to see someone who can relate. He quickly scribbles back same! im all for new tech kids but i think miss jenn should just let me read from here on out. and i hate reading out loud. (and i have adhd too, crazy lol)

He passes it back to Seb, who’s brow furrows he writes, passing it back a moment later. It now reads she really should. why didnt she? i mean, youre capable of anything, even reading out loud. (and that’s cool! i mean, not cool, but cool that you can relate :) ) 

Carlos smiles. It’s sweet that Seb thinks that about him. He writes not sure. perks of being the unpaid choreographer i guess. 

When Seb gets it back this time, he smiles. well, someone should pay you then. btw have you done the chem hw yet? mr mazzara is killing me

They continue passing the paper back and forth, veering off topic from the show and just talking about school and their families. It’s never been this easy for him to make friends, but something just seems right when he’s talking to Seb, even if its through a piece of paper.

They end up covering the paper, only pausing when Seb has to read lines. They have to move onto the back at one point before Big Red finally reads the last sentence of Act I, and Miss Jenn calls for a break. Carlos is about to scootch his desk closer to Seb’s when Miss Jenn gestures for him to come talk to her. He shoots Seb an apologetic look, who just waves him off with a smile before adjusting his jacket and instead moves to talk to Ashlyn, who looks surprised when he drops down in the seat next to her.

As he follows Miss Jenn over to a corner of the bomb shelter, he worries for a second that she’s going to call him out for not only not paying attention to the script but distracting one of the leads in the process. Thankfully, it seems she didn’t notice and instead starts asking about Ricky and Nini. (As if Carlos has any idea what’s going on between them. Again, hetero drama that he doesn’t completely care about.)

“Should we think about recasting?” Carlos offers. 

“Absolutely not, my instincts are impeccable.” Miss Jenn replies, then adds, “and I’m not scared of a challenge.”

“This one might be impossible. She won’t even look at him.”

“Don’t underestimate me. I come from strong stock. My mother bounced back from an autopsy.”

Okay, not the reply he was expecting, but Miss Jenn was already calling them back together, which meant another hour of listening to Big Red read Act II. 

When he sits down, though, Seb smiles at him again, and Carlos pulls back out the paper.

—

Carlos was packing up his backpack after they ended early rehearsal that day. Ricky stormed off, and maybe it wasn’t necessarily Carlos’s fault that he was quitting the show, but he could feel his chest getting tighter the more he tried to ignore it. If he had just pushed Ricky a little less or cut all the dance talk and tried just a little harder to get him to stay, they wouldn’t be in this mess. 

“Hey, do you need a ride home?” Carlos hears footsteps approaching. He hadn’t realized that anyone was still in the bomb shelter, but when he turned around Seb was standing there. They had talked before rehearsal and in classes, but during rehearsal, Carlos was barely able to spare a glance at the boy playing piano while he tried to teach choreography. Not that rehearsal was about interacting anyway.

“Don’t you live on a farm?” Carlos asks, even though he knows the answer. It’s more of a question of why are you offering a ride if you live so far away?

“Yeah, but don’t worry! Your house is on the way!”

Carlos squints at him, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “You don’t even know where I live.”

“No, but I’m sure it’s on the way,” Seb is grinning at him, and Carlos doesn’t want to say no. Besides, he told his mom they would be done at six, and it’s barely even 5 o’clock, so he nods.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. That would be good,” Carlos returns the smile and Seb beams. He finishes zipping up his backpack, swings it around his shoulders as Seb finishes sending a message on his phone, and the two walk out the door of the bomb shelter together. 

“By the way, I like your shoes,” Seb says without even looking down, and Carlos feels the slightest bit of heat rushing to his face. The shoes in question are cow print, and even though he bought them before his conversation with Seb at the read through, he did think of the boy this morning when he put them on. 

“Thank you,” Carlos says. He’s quiet for a moment, before asking “how are you so happy all the time?”

Seb looks surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re always so smiley and nice, even when everything is crazy stressful, like right now. I feel like I’m just snapping and brushing people off.”

“Well, first of all, you’re definitely more stressed than me,” Seb says, turning his head towards Carlos as he speaks. “I barely played today, considering how much everyone has been arguing with you about the moves. I mean, just because Miss Jenn isn’t there all the time doesn’t immediately give them the right not to listen to you.”

“I think it’s that, plus being an underclassman,” he sighs, pushing open the doors to the main entrance of the school. “I mean, Gina respects me but she isn’t exactly the friendliest with everyone right now either.”

“Well, it’s not fair of them,” Seb says, and Carlos bites his lip. He already knew deep down what Seb had said was true, but just hearing someone say it out loud made it so much more real. 

When Carlos doesn’t say anything else, Seb continues. “Besides, it sort of seemed like you weren’t having the greatest time, so I was hoping if I was a little happier, you would be too. Is that stupid?” he asks.

“No, it’s not stupid. It helped. Thanks,” Carlos smiles, because it did genuinely help. Well, either that or the venting. 

Seb smiles again, and Carlos feels his heart flutter just a little bit. Something about Seb’s smiles always made him feel warm. They never feel fake, and they’re always just as bright as the last.

They stop in front of a car, and Carlos opens the door to the back while Seb goes to the front seat. Behind the wheel is a girl a few years older than them who he presumes is Seb’s sister.

“Carlos, this is my sister, Georgie,” he introduces, and the girl turns to smile at Carlos. She has the same blonde hair and blue eyes as Seb.

“Nice to meet you, Carlos,” Georgie says. “Seb texted saying you need a ride, so where am I going?” 

For the most part, the car ride is silent. There’s music playing, a mix of old 2010’s pop and musical theatre, and Carlos can’t tell who’s playlist it is as both Seb and Georgie sing along. It’s not uncomfortable though, and he smiles as he watches the two of them together. He only has step siblings, and he’s not nearly as close to any of them as Seb is. 

“Do you have other siblings?” he asks out of nowhere, and both Seb and Georgie laugh.

“Too many to keep track of,” Seb shakes his head. “I’m a middle child of seven.”

Carlos’s eyes widen. “Seven? And they’re all fully blood related to you?”

“Yep. four sisters, two brothers. Josephine is the oldest, then our brother Cohyn, then Georgie, then me, then Sophia, Paisley, and Isaac. We’re all two years apart, starting at 21 with Josie, except for Isaac who’s 5 and was a bit of a surprise,” Seb explains, and Carlos feels his head spinning.

“How do you remember all that?” he asks, causing both the Matthew-Smith’s to laugh again. 

“Years of practice. To be fair, I don’t know like, half of their birthdays,” Seb says, earning a punch in the arm from his sister.

“Do you have any siblings, Carlos?” she asks.

“Two stepsisters on my mom’s side, both older. Isabella and Victoria,” Carlos says. “Isa is in college and Vic is about to graduate, but she goes to West High. I have a lot of cousins though, which are basically my siblings.”

“Us too,” Seb smiles softly. Carlos is expecting the look that people give him when they realize his parents aren’t divorced, but there’s no change in his expression. It’s nice to not have people ask about it for once (not that he remembers a time before they were divorced anyway. He was three, it doesn’t really affect him anymore.)

Georgie pulls into the driveway of Carlos’s house, and Carlos opens the door. 

“Thank you for the ride,” he says.

“Anytime, Los.” The nickname hits Carlos harder than he’s expecting it to, and he stops for a second, registering it into the mind as his heart swells. Only family members had ever used that nickname on him before, and hearing Seb use it felt… different. But good different.

“See you tomorrow,” he says, closing the door and waving goodbye to the two before running up the steps to his house. He can see them driving away as he closes the door.

“You’re home early,” his mother steps out from the kitchen, and Carlos turns. 

“We ended early. Sort of a dramatic day.”

His mother laughs. “Always is in theatre,” and Carlos can’t help but laugh too. “How did you get home? You could have texted.”

“A… friend gave me a ride. Seb Matthew-Smith, he’s our accompanist and he’s playing Sharpay.” 

He can see a twinkle in his mother’s eye as she nods. “Got it,” she says, stretching it out as she gives him a look.

“Not like that, mamá, just a friend,” he rolls his eyes with a smile. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re making friends. Dinner will be ready in an hour, I’m going out to play bunco tonight, so make sure you and Victoria clean up,” she tells him, and Carlos nods, taking that as his cue to go upstairs.

As he reaches his bedroom, though, his phone dings with a text from Seb (they had swapped numbers at the end of the readthrough) about the chemistry homework. Carlos sets down his backpack, pulling out the homework in question, and sets it on his desk while he texts back. 

His mother’s voice rings in his head. I’m glad you’re making friends. It’s the first time in a while that he’s had a close friend, and it fills his chest with warmth. 

—

“Where do you sit during lunch?” Seb asks Carlos out of nowhere, plopping down on the seat next to him during study hall. He’s in the library, researching other school’s performances of High School Musical so he can try and get inspiration for their show. When Seb sits down, though, he pulls out an earbud.

“I mean, here, usually,” Carlos glances around the library. “Why do you ask?”

Seb shrugs. “Dunno, I’ve never seen you at lunch before and I was wondering who you sit with. I thought we might be in different periods, but we have gym and chem together sixth and seventh, and you mentioned to me yesterday that you have algebra fourth, so the only option left was fifth unless you take an extra class like some kinda psycho.”

Carlos blinks. “You kept track of all of that?” he asks.

Seb suddenly blushes slightly. “I mean, I don’t know the rest of your schedule, I was only really paying attention because like I said, I was wondering who you sit with. But I guess you sit with… no one…?” he trails off.

Now it’s Carlos’s turn to blush. “I mean, my mom plays bunco with the librarian so she always let me sit in here. The only other person I really talk to is Gina, but she has seventh period lunch. And I guess I could eat in Miss Jenn’s office, but sometimes she stresses me out and I can watch videos in here. Plus it’s a lot quieter than the cafeteria, although I did run into Ricky today-”

Seb cuts him off. “Would you want to sit with me and Natalie? It’s only us at our table.” 

“I- uh. Yeah. Sure,” Carlos says.

Seb nods with a smile. “Okay, cool,” he says, then turns in his seat and logs into the computer next to Carlos.

“Why do you keep inviting me to things?” Carlos asks suddenly, gnawing on his lip.

Seb turns back to face Carlos again. “What do you mean?”

“You offered to drive me home, now you’re inviting me to sit with you at lunch.”

He cocks his head, smiling, although still clearly confused. “Because we’re friends, dummy,” he tells Carlos.

“Oh,” Carlos smiles. “Okay. Cool.”

Seb nods. “Cool.” 

They both go back to doing their work silently until Seb turns around again. 

“Did you say you saw Ricky in here?” he asks.

“Yes! You’ll never believe what he did.”

“What?” “He told me he’s joining the show again! And then, he started dancing. Like, in the middle of the walkway!” They both laugh.

As Carlos continues filling Seb in on all the details of his previous conversation with Ricky, he can feel his heart fluttering. He doesn’t know what is with the other boy in the long run, but hey, at least they’re friends.

#seblos #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew smith #hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #my writing #not a star

[atlaslimbs]

March 26, 2020

    Maybe I should start using this platform for something productive. Not that my usual activity of sharing pretty things can’t be meaningful. I do believe looking at and sharing things pleasing to my eyes is something important for me to remain hopeful (especially after being flooded with all kinds of not to nice images lately.) I want to take the time to talk on here and express myself in a way that is loose and not pretty. Sort of a stream of consciousness style of journal entries. I have tried journaling regularly so many times. Every time I would try to do this style of stream of consciousness free writing with a pen and journal I would eventually give up because I would have too much to say and my hand would get tired or i would get too caught up in what my handwriting looked like as silly as that sounds. Recently I even tried this thing where as i was driving to school or work I would record myself talking out loud as a means of journaling. That didn’t work either because I wanted to refer back to them to see what I had said but could not stand to hear the sound of my own voice long enough to meditate on any of the words. So here I go bouncing it back to Tumblr typing away on my computer trying to quiet down all of these thoughts swirling through my head all of the time. I am not sure why I am not doing them in a word document that is private... I guess there is something to be said about the vulnerability of putting it all out there to where anyone could find or read these things. I would like to think I am a very open person but even as I am typing this into I feel myself wondering who is going to read this. I know a few people that I do know might read these, however the four or five friends and a couple ex lovers that have my account are ones I wouldn’t mind hearing the inside of my head anyways. 

    I guess I should set the scene here as if no one reading this knows anything about me at all so that I don’t get started from a place where I think there are already preconceived notions of myself that I must adhere to. Who knows, maybe the journal entries of a young person in 2020 might be useful one day. I sure have a lot of things to say that I feel like someone might want to listen to. My name is Sydney and I am twenty years old. I am going to be turning twenty one in April and was looking forward to having a fun outdoor party with all of the people I love there around me. For now we are going to have to celebrate from far away because of the recent stuff going on with the Corona Virus. We are being instructed to stay inside and away from people as much as possible. I feel like I will eventually get into a rant about the politics to all of this and my political beliefs in general but for now I just want to set the scene for anyone reading this. I am sitting on my porch watching cars drive by me. I cant help but think why are all these people still out? People seem to be acting like everything is okay which is just going to prolong all of this and cause more deaths in the end. God if you told me that this wasn’t fiction I wouldn’t have believed you last year. Wow last year me would be so terrified. Today me is terrified... But I am finding strength every day through managing my anxiety and trying to convince myself that I am prepared. Back to what I was saying, I am sitting on my porch listening to a playlist of my “top songs of 2019.” Each song takes me back to a certain feeling whether it be driving to school or screaming the songs out in my shower. I want to just say on record I LOVE TO SING. It is something in my life that I have always enjoyed. I have been singing more lately which feels so nice. My dad is a singer he sings in a band with some friends and they play at bars here and there locally. I just had the heart wrenching feeling of realizing that I may not be able to hear my dads band play for a very long time if ever again. I am thankful for all of the videos I have taken though that I can always refer back to if that is the case. I don’t tell many people that I love to sing because people tend to think that in order for you to love to sing you have to be good at it. Or at least people in our culture which sucks. If you think about it, all of our religions have some sort of exchange of energy with the highest power through singing. That has to mean something. When I am singing I feel like I am letting the songs feel for me instead of feeling them vulnerable all alone by myself. Even if the emotion is not one that is hard to feel it still is just so comfortable to experience it wrapped in a protective layer of a song. Some of my happiest memories are singing in the car with my dad. He never once has told me that he doesn’t like the way I sound or that I am singing too loud. I think that I really have got to start now on rebuilding a lot of the confidence that was torn away from me at a young age being around a couple of really toxic and sad family members. I remember wanting to sing along to the songs on the radio and them saying things like “Sydney we get it you know every word to the songs you don’t have to prove it” or “Sydney why are you singing so loud like you think everyone wants to hear you.” Thinking back on that and wanting to protect that small innocent version of myself I want to say to them “Have you guys never enjoyed anything in your entire life? Does anything ever FEEL GOOD to you?” I become more and more aware every day of how a lot of the time I suppressed doing things that brought me joy because I was afraid of them making fun of me for it or being “annoying.” Whoever made that word up sucks because it has been in my thoughts suppressing me ever since I was first called it. Note to self: don’t under any circumstances call someone annoying because wow that shit hurts. I want to talk about something one of my friends said but I feel like if I am going to introduce that person into the narrative I want to tell you all about her from the beginning. I wish I didn’t feel the need to be so thorough all the time but recently a friend told me that they love that quality about me so I suppose I will give myself some slack. If I were to get real deep and try to figure out why I do that I think I would have to link a lot of it back to being young and the toxic family members I mentioned before questioning everything I said to the point where I felt like I had to prove absolutely everything I said. So instead of simply being able to say “The other day someone who’s very important to me and one of my closest companions said...” my brain tells me that you aren’t going to believe how important she is to me if I don’t describe every detail of our relationship and portray it as beautifully as I have felt it so instead I have to divert and go on a tangent about that person before getting back to this story. I can see how that would annoy someone who didn’t care to know about the things I love, but luckily the silver lining to all of that is, being this way has showed me who cares enough to listen to me for hours regardless of what I am talking about. If you told that young version of Sydney who got brushed off every time she got excited about anything or told she talked too much that one day she would meet people who would make her feel like every word that was coming out of her mouth was worth listening to I don’t think she would believe you. Things like this are thoughts I have that restore every bit of hope I have in my body. Knowing that in the short time of being alive and away from my family I have found more love than I ever thought could exist in my reality really keeps me going every day. 

    Wow I am thinking so many things right now and want to tell so many stories. There is one person in particular that I keep thinking about when it comes to not only the listening to me talk thing but also about my love for singing. My dad is not the only person who has made me feel safe screaming music in the car and I am thinking about all of those people now. My brain automatically wants to use words like “tolerate” even though that is such a negative connotation when I’m sure they don’t feel that way about it at all. This person I am thinking about who would listen to me talk for hours or sing with me in the car is a very special person to me. She is honestly probably the only person who is going to read this at all much less to the end. I don’t know if I will ever be able to repay this person for the amount of love she brought into my life. I want to make a whole post describing all of our memories together but im not sure what format to put them in. Maybe I should tell them like a story. People always tell me I should write a book. I am going to end this here and maybe write out some topics I want to talk about more thoroughly and cohesively so that I can document them here. I would love to talk about all of my memories from certain time periods before they leave my head forever. That is a big fear of mine. I want to tell you about all of my first loves and all of the times I have felt love at all and all of the art I have experienced and everything. Thank you for reading this if you do. And thank you for loving me if you have because I am learning how to love myself and it helps so much to have people who show me ways. 

Maybe if you read this like it so I know. 

[blondecarfucker]

Bed of Roses (Chapter 20)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: GUYS THIS TOOK SO LONG AND IM SORRY. im actually in another city at the moment and yeah, having free time has been a bit hard - i wrote this mostly on a plane and now im editing it on an uber on my way to class. BUT, theres only one more chapter to go!!! WTF!!!! its so close to the end???? i mean?????? but its been an amazing journey and mostly thanks to you all!! more thanks on the next chapter where im gonna be so cheesy thanking you all, just wait. anyway, nice fun sexy chapter to heal our hearts from the break up and stuff! hope you enjoy

Words: around 4k

Warnings: smut, alcohol, swearing probably. all in good fun tho. probably some errors cause its been a busy week

 ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

Chapter 20

Paris

You hold Roger's hand as you wait in line for the immigration officer to check your passports. The activity in itself is something the both of you did many, many times before - you travelled a lot with the band.

But this was different. You were not only alone with Roger, but there was nothing concerning you - his mood, your job, nothing. You feel at ease.

Roger's idea to go somewhere where none of you knew very well was brilliant. Since you're outside of your comfort zone anyways, you were both more easy going, not overthinking anything, just spontaneous. You knew the time where you would talk about your relationship and how you want to deal with everything would come, but you weren't stressing about it. You would think about it once the time came - there was no reason to be concerned now.

Cause now you could only feel Roger's touch, hear him humming something - you couldn't believe he was humming La Vie En Rose, the most cliche Paris song of all times, but of course he was. His shoulders are relaxed, and he brushes his thumb against the skin on your hand. His smell is all around you.

You could really immerse in the presence each other, now. Ever since you left London, where almost everything between you happened, you didn't really knew anything else - the fields on the window, the french being spoken by the people on the cabin next to yours. So you just laid your head on his lap as he ran his fingers through your hair and told you about the little things you missed.

His eyesight has gotten worse, and now he can't really do anything without his contacts. He met David Bowie in an award show, and he thought of you - he knew how much you liked him. He still knew all of Fleetwood Mac's 1974 album songs by heart - he kept the album you left in the old flat.

And also stuff about the boys. John's kid was a cute, quiet boy, just like his dad, and he didn't enjoy any of Roger's songs when he went to rehearsals. Veronica was pregnant with another baby - Roger's pretty sure it's a girl. Brian was still thinking about finishing his PhD, but never got around doing it - his schedule is too crazy. Freddie was growing tired of the long hair and clean face, and kept thinking about changing his looks, but couldn't decide on what he would do. He told you that ever since Freddie and Mary broke up, he started seeing more guys - none of you thought much about it. It was just another aspect of Freddie's life.

Roger kept writing songs now, even when they were on tour or at home. He was getting annoyed at the "No Synths" rule in the band, and tried to convince them to drop it. But he was happy with the new album - he enjoyed how they simplified the process of writing it, and thought mostly about writing songs they can play live the same way they play it in studio. The last time they did it was in their first album.

You just kept looking up at him, his defined jaw glowing against the sun, his bright blue eyes looking down at you to watch your reaction, your grin once he told you he finally finished writing Sheer Heart Attack, a song he tried to get done and in an album ever since 1974.

And now the immigration officer called you, and you laughed as you watched Roger try to speak french to the guy before taking the matter into your own hands.

And when he asked you what was your relationship with him, you just smiled and said "mon copain".

-

You knew Roger chose the hotel as you packed in London, sitting between all the boxes so he could use your phone. You didn't pay attention to which hotel he picked, but once you got to the Champs-Élysées, you knew he spent too much money.

You got off the cab at the Four Seasons George V Hotel, a building that was basically a modern castle, and you stared at him, shocked. "Roger, you didn't do this", you told him, your eyes wide as you entered the spacious and luxurious lobby, your luggage already being taken to your room as the lady on front desk recognized Roger. "Did what?", he asked jokingly, raising his brow at you, even though he knew what you meant. "This hotel. It's too nice and probably a fortune", you told him, and he shrugged. "Hey, we deserve it. We always did. But now we can afford it", he winked, and then took the room keys from the front desk.

"C'mon, I want to see how you're going to react to the Penthouse Suite", he laughed, and you coughed. "Um, I'm sorry? The what now?", you asked, and he playfully pulled you into the elevator.

He kept looking at you the whole lift ride, excited and nervous - he wanted you to like it, to enjoy his efforts, to take him back into your life somehow.

When he opened the door and walked to the side, his old genuine smile was back on his lips, and you couldn't help but smile back, even before taking a glimpse into the room.

And what you saw surprised you - everything looked expensive, but still comfortable. You first entered a huge living room, and every couch looked comfortable enough to sleep in. Then you walked to the bedroom, and the huge bed caught your eye - it was big enough to fit comfortably at least five of you. The bathroom looked like a spa, a huge bathtub in the middle of it, a delicate statue of a woman under the window that overlooked the Champs-Élysées.

You walked to the balcony with Roger beside you, and he laughed when you gasped.

The Eiffel Tower looked back at you, glimmering at the sunset.

You looked at Roger.

"You're unbelievable, you know."

He smirked. "I'm just trying to get you in bed, though", he told you, and you laughed as you walked closer to him.

"You did that when you didn't have a penny, Rog. You don't have to get us a huge suite with artwork everywhere and a view of the Eiffel Tower", you said, bringing him closer to you by his collar as he snaked his arms around your waist.

"I never have to do anything. I do it because I want to. Because I love you", he whispered, his breath against your lips, teasing, feeling like the ghost of a touch.

"I love you, Roger", you told him, moving your hands to the back of his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

-

You held his hand as the cool wind passed through your bodies. It was the next day, and you've decided to walk to the Louvre by the side of the Seine.

It would be faster if you got on a cab, but the view of the Seine, the sounds of the city and the smell of pastries and perfume made everything feel even more like a dream. You were still tired from last night, and the night before it - you and Roger were acting like a couple in honeymoon ever since you met again, stolen kisses and arms wrapped around each other, trying to make up for the lack of touch in the last couple years.

And once you were alone, you'd hug and touch and kiss and fuck passionately wherever - sloppy kisses and love bites all over each other, first in London and now here. It didn't feel like you were together again for only about 36 hours - so much has happened, yet time passed by so fast. It was like you lost touch with reality ever since you looked at his hands on the pub.

When you thought of being alone in New York, it felt like a past life. But the weird thing was how your first years with Roger also felt like another life - you wouldn't act the way you did again, ever. But you were grateful for both times of your life. You felt like you could never get here, to Paris and to Roger, if those things didn't happen.

You got to the Louvre and you were surprised at Roger's interest - he wasn't simply acting interested while trying to get you to leave somewhere else with him. He was genuinely interested in the art, commenting about each style and dropping trivia about artists.

"Someone has been spending some time with Freddie, I suppose", you noted, and he gave you a half smile. "Well, the person responsible for bringing culture into my days spend some time away. I had to look for substitutes", he said, and you jokingly nudged at him.

He still looked at you adoringly once you started talking to him about the excellent state of conservation the mummy was in, or once you started analysing "L’Européenne".

You both kept quiet as you watched the Mona Lisa, only holding hands as you tried to get closer to the painting, dozens of visitors separating you from it. It was a time for reflection, too. The Mona Lisa invited you to think about yourselves, her neutral expression making you wonder - seeing it was one of your life long goals, and now you're realizing it with Roger. Being with Roger was something else you struggled to achieve, ever since the first time you saw him. But now it was the time to realize dreams - hell, you'll start working at the British Museum in a few days.

But you got distracted as soon as you got to the Venus de Milo. Roger snaked his arms around your waist from behind you and pressed a slow kiss under your lobe before whispering "You look just like her".

You felt a goosebump on your neck, but you tried to laugh it off. "I can think of a few things we don't have in common, though", you said, and he rubbed his nose on the curve of your neck. "Like what?", he whispered.

"I'm gonna start the list with the basics: arms", you told him, and he laughed against your skin. "I can think of a few other things, too", he tells you, back at kissing your neck. "Yeah? Like what?", you asked, and he sucks on your skin for a few moments, hitching your breath. "Your skin is softer", he says, and then lightly bites you, running his tongue over it to sooth it. "And you taste amazing. Everywhere", he whispers again, and you bite your lips as you feel another goosebump on your neck, and it didn't go unnoticed by Roger. "And the way you react to me”, he whispered, wetting his lips. "God, it kills me", he said, running his fingers over the area where the goosebump was.

It was a public place, but it didn't cross your mind when you turned around and pulled him in for a kiss, making it deeper as your tongue massaged Roger’s. His fingers brushed over your exposed skin, and you could feel how strong his grip on your waist was, wrinkling the fabric of your summer dress - probably inappropriate. You pulled him even closer to you by his hair, already used to its new length after two nights. It was only when you broke apart to recover your breath that you noticed how you were making out in a public place, and only because Roger told you.

"I know we're in public and I'm trying to be more discrete now, but all this artwork just made you look even more beautiful, like you belong around them. I just couldn't hold myself any longer", he said.

-

The warm water ran through your fingers as you filled the bathtub, only in your robe, as Roger spoke with the concierge on the bedroom. He told you he was getting champagne, but you didn't see why the concierge would go to the bedroom for it. Anyways, you wanted a warm bath.

After the Venus, you and Roger had a hard time keeping your hands away from each other. So you didn’t argue when he suggested you take a cab to the hotel.

The cabbie was an older man with a very rosy skin, and he barely knew how to speak english, but he sure tried - specially with Roger. You were suspecting he knew who Roger is, and Roger apparently thought the same, an amused look on his face as the driver tried to continue the conversation with him.

He was looking amused for another reason, too. His hands took his time on your legs, his long fingers brushing over your inner thighs, making you press them together as you tried to control your breathing. Roger kept talking to the driver as he slowly moved his fingers closer to you again, and you bit your lips to hold a moan when he pressed two fingers against your core.

You were already wet from all the teasing, and it goes through the lace of your lingerie, wetting Roger’s digits. He took his fingers away from you, and you frown as he rubs his two fingers against his thumb, smirking at you.

Then the driver asks him something and he turns to answer, putting his hand on your knees and then quickly sliding them up, moving them to your core again, massaging your clit for a few seconds. He looks at you so he can see your reaction, and you can hear the driver’s voice as you grip on Roger’s arm so he keeps touching you, pressing your lips together to keep quiet.

He keeps smirking as the conversation with the driver goes on, and you decide you can tease him, too. You move your hand from his arm to his leg, and he moves his gaze back into yours as you move your hand slowly to his inner thigh. His eyes get wider once you run your finger over his length, his cock already getting hard and visible through his always tight pants. The driver called his name so he answers another question, and you wrap your hand around him through the fabric of his trousers.

His breathing audibly hitches and he tries to be discrete by making it into a cough. He answers the driver and then looks at you, but you’re looking forward, innocently. He smirks again and then pulls your lingerie to the side, and, without more teasing, puts his two fingers inside of you. You gasp, and the driver looks at you suspiciously as Roger starts pumping his fingers inside of you.

But then the car stops in front of the hotel.

You take your hand away from Roger and he does the same, feeling like two children who got caught with your hands inside the cookie jar. Roger pulls out his wallet from his pocket so he can pay the cabbie, his fingers still glistening as he holds the leather wallet.

You then walk to your room without saying anything until you close the door. “So, that guy was pretty close to figuring out our little teasing game, huh”, he said, unbuttoning his shirt. “I was pretty close, too”, you said, winking, and he smirked. “I guess you want to go back to where we were before getting interrupted?” he raised his brow.

But you wanted to tease him a bit more. So you nodded a no. “Actually, Rog, I think I want to take a warm bath”, you came closer to him, wrapping your fingers on the back of his neck. “That’s a really good idea, in fact”, he said, and started undoing his belt. But you held his hand in place. “But you won’t join me”, you said, and he pouted in protest. “Not until you get me some champagne. I thought you were gonna be romantic before luring me into bed, Taylor”, you said, and he laughed. You let go of him and turn around.

“Can you unzip me, please?”, you ask, and you can hear him scoff, annoyed at your teasing, but then you feel him slowly unzipping your summer dress, then moving his hands to your shoulders as he slides your dress down.

You're not wearing a bra, so you can feel the cold wind from the AC on your hard nipples, getting even harder as you felt his lips on your neck once again, his hands pulling your dress down at your hips before it falls to the ground.

Then you move away from Roger’s grasp as you walk to the bathroom, without looking back at him, and you can feel his eyes on you as he watches your hips sway as you walk, only in your burgundy lace panties, your hair cascading on your back.

And now you’re inside the bathtub already, feeling the smell of roses and cinnamon from the bath salts you used, waiting for Roger. You hear the door close, and the concierge is gone.

“Rog? I’m waiting for you”, you say out loud, waiting for his answers. “Actually, I think I’m not in the mood for a bath. But your champagne is here”, he says, and you can hear a fake tiredness in his voice.

“Are you sure you’re gonna leave me here, alone, in this bathtub? I’m gonna have to do something to let the time pass, you know. And you’re gonna hear me do it without doing anything about it?”, you asked with an affected voice. You haven’t teased him in so long, you forgot how fun it was, especially cause he always teased you back.

“As tempting as your bathroom plans sound, I’m also alone here, you know. And your champagne is here. Can’t believe you’re gonna waste it after I got it just for you”, he said, and you laughed. You got up from the bathtub and barely dried yourself on a towel before putting your robe back on and walking to the bedroom.

Roger was sitting against the bed’s headrest, completely naked and rock hard. You moved your hand to your lips and you let out a sigh at the vision. He looked like a greek god - Apollo, maybe, with his golden locks shining against the afternoon sun, his skin glowing under the golden hour lights coming through the window. The bed was filled with red rose petals under him, the smell filling your lungs.

He opened his eyes when he heard your sigh, and he smirked at you. “Get the champagne and come here already”, he said, pointing his head at the table where a Dom Pérignon bottle sat on an ice bucket, and you did so. You climbed on top of the bed and started moving towards him. “Are you suggesting we play with food, Mr Taylor?”, you asked, and he nodded. “Give it to me and I’ll show you”, he told you, and you gave it to him as you sat on his thighs.

He popped the bottle open and some of the liquid poured over the edges. He licked it, looking at you, before undoing your robe with his free hand. He pulled it to the sides, looking at you with admiration as if he was unwrapping a Christmas gift.

You took the robe off and threw it to the side, and his free hand moved to the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. It was a slow, delicate kiss, where Roger tried showing you love, admiration, respect. Not only how much he wants you, but how much he cares about you.

But you pulled him closer to you, moving closer to him, and your bare breasts touched his naked torso, making the two of you moan.

That gave a new sense of urgency to the kiss, and after a few seconds, Roger broke it apart. “Tell me if you want me to stop”, he told you, and you nodded. He poured a bit of champagne above your collarbone, the cold liquid making you shiver, and then Roger’s tongue licked it, warm and wet.

He looked up at you to make sure you liked it, and you gave him a quick nod. He smirked, then poured champagne on your other collar bone, and licked it off again.

As you seemed to like it, he poured champagne between your breasts, licking it off right after and waiting a few seconds to see if you’d protest. He then finally poured a bit of champagne on one of your breasts, right above the nipple, licking you and the drink.

He kept doing it for a while, sucking on your skin that tasted like champagne and cinnamon, the smell of roses intoxicating him.

You broke away from his touch, and he looked at you, confused. “Can I try it?”, you asked, and he nodded, passing you the champagne bottle.

You started above his collarbone, and you could feel him moving under you. You wondered how much he would be able to wait before fucking you, considering he was already hard before you licked champagne off of him.

Once you poured champagne over his chest, you didn’t lick fast enough, and a drop of champagne rolled down on his torso. You leaned in to lick it right before it fell to his pelvis, mere inches away from his cock.

The feeling of your tongue close to his length did it for him - he had to have you, right now. He gripped your hips and motioned them up, and you understood what he wanted, so you got on your knees and stood right above him as he positioned himself on your entrance.

You slowly moved down, feeling him filling you, and you let your head move back as you moan in pleasure, your moan intensifying as you heard Roger’s voice whispering your name.

You started riding him slowly, small moans leaving your lips every time you felt him bottoming out inside of you, but you wanted him to go deeper.

So you got off of him, and he grunted, frowning at you as he saw you on your knees in bed. But once you leaned forward, putting your weight on your elbows, he smirked. “I want to feel you deeper”, you told him.

He moved to your back, spreading your legs a little more so he had better access to you, and you both cursed under your breath as he got inside you again slowly, so you could get used to his size on this new position, his grip on your ass getting stronger once he was completely inside you again.

You moaned his name, and he moved his hands to your waist so he could move inside of you with more control.

He developed a rhythm after a few moments, and all you could hear was the sound of your skin on his and the moaning (and cursing) coming from his lips and yours, too. You could feel yourself closer to your orgasm.

It wasn’t long before you reached your high, crying his name as you pulled the duvet into your fists.

Roger kept thrusting through your high, but once he noticed you were done, he pulled out. "Can you turn?", he asked, and without much thought, you turned over and layed down, wrapping your legs around his hips.

He gave you a tired smile and then got inside you again, thrusting. "I like to look at you", he told you, closing his eyes, focusing on his movements. He was like that for a few seconds, and you could see the beads of sweat forming on his face, his blonde locks glueing themselves to his forehead.

As his movements got more intense, you could see he was close. "Y/N? Can I pull out?", he asked, and you nodded a yes. He liked to do that sometimes, when you could get messy, but it has been so long you nearly forgot.

So he pulled out and his cum fell on your torso, covering your breasts and stomach. He fell to your side and stayed there for a few moments, before opening his eyes and looking at your torso. "Sorry for the mess", he said, getting up and going to the bathroom. You smiled when you heard the sink open, and your smile got wider as Roger appeared with a warm cloth on your hands.

"I guess this helps", he shrugged, wiping his cum from your torso carefully. Once he cleaned most of it, he giggled. "Maybe a bath is not a bad idea, after all. Will you join me?", he asked, offering you a hand.

---

Chapter 21

Masterlist

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x you #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor fluff #ben hardy x you #ben hardy smut #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy fanfic #queen fanfic #bohemian rhapsody fanfic #borhap fanfic #bedofroses #roger taylor imagine #ben hardy imagine #queen imagines #bohemian rhapsody imagine

[vyladromeave]

Mr. Zvahl has updated!

Chapter 6: Forage and Found

(Read the full thing on AO3!)

(A/N: nbvGJDFSFSD THIS IS SO LATE IM SORRY. It was TECHNICALLY done like a week or so ago but it was under 1k words and i just couldnt Post It mnbdsfghfsd. ANYWAYS now its nearly 2k so hopefully thatll make up for the wait nfdsbghdjsf. i have been Neglecting Zoey so now you have to read So Much about my beautiful elf wife mndsfbhjsfdk. not much else to say, ill edit this if i can think of anything important. Also Once Again gentle reminder tht i would seriously reccomend reading this on ao3 instead because tumblr formatting makes the spacing Whack but whatever man u do u,,,, you do u,,,,,, dshjgsfd ANYWAYS Hope u enjoy!!)

.

They had been walking for some time now. She had explained on the way out there that the path used to be much clearer, but too much overgrowth in the area had made reaching difficult. It was still possible, it just took extra time. In their case, it had taken a good half-hour at least. (It could have taken longer, but he wasn’t too good at keeping track of the time these days.)

As they approached he wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but now that they were there, he realized it wasn’t actually that different from what he’d imagined. His only experience in portals were the ones that lead to the nether- it somewhat shocked him to see that this portal wasn’t much different. It was about the same size and shape, though the material was different and it gave off an energy that was much less malevolent. Even then, its aura made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, and it wasn’t even activated.

“The portal leads to the Irene Dimension. That’s where we believe Aphmau, and all those that went with her, are trapped.” she continued.

He looked to her, silently asking permission if he could get a closer look, although she didn’t seem to notice. He took it as a yes. He approached the portal to get a closer look while she talked.

“I’ve been working for nearly a decade to find a way to open it again. Nothing has worked so far, but I’m getting close. I can feel it.”

“How so?”

She was somewhat thrown off by how direct his question is. “I- well- when I first started working on this… I didn’t really know what I was doing? I was just throwing things together, I didn’t understand any of it. And now… well, there’s a lot I still don’t understand, I won’t lie about that. Emmalyn was our resident Irene expert, but we lost her to the portal too. But I’ve also learned- I know what I’m doing now, I know the end goal. I just need to figure out how to get there.”

He nods, though his focus is still mostly devoted to the portal. He understands what she means now when she said there was a lot she didn’t understand- if he was in Zoey’s place he wouldn’t even know where to start. It takes him a solid minute to recognize that no, those “scratches” he spotted on the portal are words, and in some language he has no clue of recognizing. He shakes his head. He would love to help out, of course he would, but he isn’t cut out for this.

“Well, you’re the barrier magicks user. If anyone could do it, it’s you.”

She sighs and nods. “I suppose so. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Of course it’s a good thing. The town just needs to have faith in you.”

“It’s been ten years. There’s not much faith left to go around.”

“Well, what about you? Do you think you can do it? Bring them home?”

She pauses for a second, but nods. “Yes. I do.”

“Then that’s good enough for me. That settles it.”

She gives him a look and tilts her head, confused. “Settles what, exactly?”

“I think I’d like to stay here. In Phoenix Drop. At least until everyone returns.”

“Oh!” She smiles, but took another moment to process and “Oh.” Her face drops. “I- I mean that’s great, I’m glad you’d like to stay, but- this could take years. Decades. Centuries, even. You could be long dead by the time everyone is back here.”

“That’s fine. It’s worth the wait.”

She was startled by his ease in acceptance. “That’s- I mean- you could-“ she takes a breath to calm herself. “Alright. Welcome to Phoenix Drop, Mr. Zvahl.”

~~~

She had agreed to take him out to the portal if he would do some work for her in return. Nothing too strenuous, she wasn’t cruel, but it was nice to have help every once in a while.

For as good as he was in navigating the forest, he knew next to nothing about the plant life within it. Or plant life in general. She spent a solid ten minutes explaining to him what they were looking for, “Four leaves, notched edges, somewhat pointy at the ends. You’ll know you have the right plant if the base of the leaf is much thicker than the edges.” His understanding seemed to be shaky at best, but he didn’t want to waste more time when they were supposed to be gathering. And so he wandered north, she went a bit south, and hoped that he had at least a basic understanding of what they were looking for.

She hadn’t found too many- but she figured as much. It took some time to get to the better spots where the plant often grew in, which they had instead spent observing the portal (as if she didn’t spend enough time on that blasted thing already). So she paid it no mind when he was late meeting back up by a couple minutes. And then ten went past. Then fifteen. It was just enough time to make her start to worry when she’d spotted him returning. That was another odd thing about him, sometimes he was easier to spot with your eyes than to notice with your ears. He was oddly quiet, inhumanly stealthy. She’d wanted to say he was just good at that sort of thing, but what kind of person can disappear in a forest but can’t tell an acorn from a rock? Either he was oddly talented, or there was something even odder going on here, and it bugged her a bit too much.

Her mind was taken off the question when he’d stopped in front of her and she got a good look at him. She understood now why he was late- he seemed uncomfortable, and kept shifting the rather large pile of plants he gathered around. It was a bit hard to tell with the gloves he wore, but she swore she could see splotches of red creeping up his arms.

“Is this stuff we’re gathering… supposed to be itchy?”

And just like that, her suspicions were confirmed. “Well- yes, that is normal for that plant. But it’s also not the plant I told you to gather.”

“It’s not?” He said, looking down at the bundles of leaves in his arms.

“No, it isn’t. I sent you to gather lushsprout. The plants you’re holding look like poison ivy.”

A blank expression slowly grew on his face as he stared through the plant he’d gathered and into the middle distance. A look Zoey could only describe as regret took hold, and he dropped everything he had spent so long gathering as the name finally registered in his brain.

“One moment.” he said and rushed off in the direction of what Zoey could only assume was the nearest water source, a desperate attempt to wash off the red splotches that had already begun to form on his skin. Zoey couldn’t help but snort- it was the most emoted she had seen him ever, and yet it was all so comical.

Well, there was nothing comical about poison ivy, she supposed. It was mildly annoying at best, and painful at worst- but judging by his seeming unawareness she figured he would be alright this time. It would certainly make a good story for later, at least. They had done enough herb gathering for the day.

~~~

They made their way back to Phoenix Drop, recuperating at Aphmau’s house. He washed his hands and arms once again, as well as his gloves in order to make sure they were completely poison-ivy-free. (He’d gathered too much to be completely unscathed, but it was something he could deal with.) Zoey made him tea once again, and Vylad didn’t have the heart to turn her down. Of all the citizens of Phoenix Drop, he’d grown to like her and Dante the most.

She was kind and thoughtful, and understanding of his quiet demeanor. Where Dante often barged in and forced conversation, Zoey understood the importance of silence. They hadn’t physically talked much, though he discovered that he’d somewhat enjoyed just hanging out around her, helping her gather herbs, looking at her miniature garden, whatever trivial way they decided to pass the time. She was certainly more suspicious of him than Dante was (so perhaps she was smarter too), but Vylad figured it was justified and tried to not let it bother him much.

In a strange turn of events, he ended up the one to break the silence.

~~~

“...Just how often does Kawaii~Chan bake?”

“Well, she’s been doing it less often lately, since she’s got a child to look after now, but…”

“So not too often, then?”

She could’ve sworn he sounded almost disappointed. “Gods no, Kawaii~Chan is an unstoppable force when it comes to cooking. The day there is a force strong enough to prevent her is probably the day the world ends.”

She chuckled a bit at her own joke, Zvahl never laughed (or reacted much to anything at all, she’d noticed), so she did for both of them. Maybe it was a bit conceited, but in her eyes it let them both enjoy it, even if he was reluctant to show such feelings. “Why, were you hoping to get some of her sweets yourself?”

“Uh-”

“Have you ever even had her cooking? It’s very good, I’m just not sure why you’d be so interested…”

“Yes, I did. At that breakfast, about a week ago.”

“You’ve been craving her cooking for a week? ”

“Well-”

Any form of excuse was interrupted by more of her laughter, this time it was entirely for herself. Was he so reserved that it had taken him a week to ask about something as trivial as baking? She glanced over him once again to make sure she wasn’t missing anything- only finding what she decided was a hint of embarrassment. He opened his mouth to speak, and she nearly found herself laughing again when he closed it and glanced away.

She stifled her laughter to save him from any more embarrassment, and gave him a knowing wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word with her for you if you want. She loves to bake after all- I’m sure she’d be happy to make you something.”

It was muffled by the scarf which most of his face had retreated into, but through the cloth she swore she heard him give a mumbled, “... Thank you...”

Perhaps she was wrong. He had plenty of emotion. Zoey would just need to learn where to look.

~~~

#vylad ro'meave #zoey taltatheil #zoey aphmau #aphmau zoey #minecraft diaries #mcd #Mr. Zvahl #aiki writes #aiki be like: *doesnt know what consistent formatting is*