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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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SO, Episode 28 of Word of Honor was a roller-coaster ride.

(Spoilers, as ever, so scroll away and come back later if you want to see it unspoiled.)

They managed two entirely separate scenes in this one that had me going “Did … did that just happen? Is this really happening?” Let’s get this one out of the way first: The scene of Zhao Jing in his serial killer lair with the altar and memorial tablets and his serial killer trophies. Y’all. I swear, scene opens with a shot from behind of drunk Awful Yifu in his Fantasy Ancient China underwear staggering through a set of doors into a room with candles and draperies, and before I was able to register the rest of the set design, my brain gave a terrified squeak and started rabbiting around like, “Oh my god, please do not let this be Xie’er’s bedroom. Oh my god, they wouldn’t actually go there, not even hinted, surely that would be too far!” Then my eyeballs caught up and registered the set, so I thought I was safe, but that didn’t even turn out to be the moment in the scene that had me going “Is this really happening?” (Although I do think the fact my brain immediately jumped to that scenario speaks to the creepy vibe the show has managed to build between Awful Yifu and Xie Wang). So, Zhao Jing is a sloppy drunk and absolutely shitfaced, stumbling around and yelling at his dead brothers, and I’m sitting here watching him, feeling like I need a shower, with my skin a little bit trying to crawl off my body, and then he picks up Rong Xuan’s memorial tablet and pours an entire stream of alcohol out of the pitcher all over it, and I say, out loud, to the screen, “Oh my god, they just had him figuratively piss on that tablet.” Only, no, they didn’t, because there was no need to have him do it figuratively because then, he literally whips it out of his pants and takes a piss on the tablet, complete with sound effects, and I’m open-mouthed, thinking “Is this really happening?” As some background, I grew up in mainstream U.S. culture where ancestor veneration isn’t formally practiced - although it isn’t an entirely absent part of our cultural mythos, it’s just that now when I when I offer cultus to the Patres Patriae, it’s deliberate and intentional – but I’ve been doing ancestor work in my particular flavor of polytheism for long enough, and intensely enough, that I had a visceral reaction of disgust and horror to this. Hand literally clapped over my mouth in shock, even after watching all of his ranting at his dead brothers and spitting at his dead shifu and just generally being a disrespectful asshole with delusions of grandeur building up to it. So, yes, show, you have indeed convinced me that Awful Yifu is the worst, even in an episode that also devoted that much screentime to Prince Jin.

Fortunately, the other “Is this really happening?” moment was at the other end of the spectrum, somewhere in the face of how married Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are, which I cannot believe passed censorship. I know I keep saying that, but every time I think I’ve adjusted to how far they’re going to go, the show laughs gay-ly as it pushes the envelope another mile down the road. Truly, this show is the gift that keeps on giving where these two are concerned, and not just because of Zhang Zhehan’s face. I realize I had to spend 50 episodes deciphering Lan Wangji’s smallest microexpression (not that I’m complaining), but I can’t believe how expressive both Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun are in these roles, with Gong Jun’s little sadness eyebrows when WKX wants ZZS to humor him, and how soft Zhang Zhehan’s face gets when ZZS looks at WKX, and how great they both are at making all this look like a pair of adults who are in an established relationship and confident of each other. I’d be as weak as Wen Kexing if Zhou Zishu pouted at me the way he does when he tells Chengling that he can’t do anything to help decorate the Manor except observe and direct because he’s oh, so injured and frail, poor him. Wen Kexing can laugh at Zhou Zishu when ZZS pokes at him by saying the papercrafter was such a beauty! (Compare this to his reaction back in the day, when ZZS deftly manipulated him out of bringing A-Xiang along on their honeymoon adventures by calling her a beauty and implying she might draw attention away from WKX!) Wen Kexing waves kitchen knives at Zhou Zishu in (somewhat fond) exasperation! Zhou Zishu now accepts Wen Kexing piling his plate with food at the table as perfectly normal! There’s no crying in Spring Festival! They send their kid outside to watch the fireworks so they can have sex some alone time! (Merciless killers. How the fuck so adorable?) Someone must have backed up an entire truckful of money to the house of someone very important to get this aired, because what is the heterosexual explanation for … any of this?

Other thoughts:

We continue to get small things that maintain the parallels between Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou and Gu Xiang/Cao Weining, including the mirrored theme of finding a home with a welcoming family, shown through family dinner, and expressed through WKX’s description of his former self as a “lonely ghost,” echoing A-Xiang’s self-description (to Shen Shen in an earlier ep) the same way.

HAN YING! Listen, I am stupidly attached to this bit player, and not just because he’s a familiar face (because half of Wen Xu’s screentime in The Untamed was just a disembodied head hanging at the entrance to the Unclean Realm, so it’s not like there was time to get … attached). And I say stupidly attached because ever since we first saw the way he looked at ZZS with big puppy heart-eyes, I knew he was going to be a goner. I just know they’re gonna fridge him for the next step in ZZS’s journey, because something has to pry ZZS out of Four Seasons Manor, as much as I, personally, would like nothing better than to see 8 more episodes of wedded bliss for two gay dads and their son. (OK, one thing I would like better would be if their daughter and son-in-law came to live with them, too.) At least it looks like Han Ying will get to die taking a figurative bullet for ZZS, which will make him happy and might prevent him from finding out the Glazed Armor he’s so proud of bringing is actually pointless, because don’t think that didn’t hurt to know while I watched him being so proud of managing to get his hands on it. But I’d prefer he didn’t die at all, show. Also, why on earth are there only two (completed) stories under the ZZS/Han Ying label on AO3? Because yes, I have looked. I have the search open in another tab right now. Why haven’t more people taken advantage of this guy’s utter devotion for ZZS? How are people looking at the way Han Ying reverently brushes his fingers over the single white blossom on the wall mural in ZZS’s rooms back in Prince Jin’s palace and not falling all over that?

Xie’er, oh, Xie’er. You’re killing me, here. I need someone to rescue you, you desperate affection-starved little sociopath. So, to recap, last time we met, your Awful Yifu finally let it slip that he was never ever going to acknowledge your existence in public. So now, you’re being a very clever boy, setting up a scheme to manipulate him into having to publicly acknowledge you if he’s going to claim credit for your successes (because I’m sure you can’t even contemplate failure) in service to Prince Jin. So clever, but I hate to tell you, you’re clever at everything except learning from your mistakes when it comes to your Awful Yifu. You really learned nothing from Beauty Ghost, did you? Ugh, your sad little face as you watch your hot mess of an Awful Yifu while you wait for the maids to make tea – it hurts me. Please tell me you’re playing some kind of long game, and you’re just a really great actor. Because he’s sloppy drunk, and right now, watching your face journey, I think maybe you think that makes what he’s saying true – that he’s not guarding his words, and he means it when he tells you that of course he loves you and would never leave you. “Are you still angry with me?” Awful Yifu literally asks. “Alright, I’ll apologize. I was just mad. It didn’t mean anything. We’re together in this. I’ll always stand by you.” Xie’er, you have got to stop believing gaslighting abusive men who shovel that BS. This is what they call the honeymoon period in the cycle of abuse. Seriously. This is textbook. Please stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe think about the fact that your Awful Yifu is, single-handedly, the reason the Department of the Unfaithful actually exists in the first place. He is THAT AWFUL. I would like to think actually seeing his serial killer trophy room will make a difference, now that you have some confirmation of what Tragicomic Ghost told you and not the ability to wave it off as part of some he-said, she-said situation where how could we ever possibly know the truth, despite the fact that Zhao Jing has shown he’ll stab anyone in the back in his quest for power? But, then, I also thought maybe learning last ep that he never planned to publicly acknowledge you would make some kind of difference. Are you going to roll the dice again, gambler? Because I’ll tell you right now, the house always wins. (Not that you’d listen to me anymore than you listened to Beauty Ghost.)

(Also, wait wait waitwaitwait. Waitaminit. This is pure speculation and probably way too out there to be true (oh, but, someone’s going to write this AU for me, right?) Hot-mess drunk yifu tells Xie’er that they’ve been depending on each other “ever since I picked you up and brought you back home.” I can’t remember if we know anything about Xie Wang’s background at this point, but it does sound like Zhao Jing might have literally yoinked him off the street to raise him. He … he doesn’t think Xie’er is actually Yan’er, does he? Only he kidnapped the wrong orphaned urchin by mistake? I’m just sayin’, thinking back to Shen Shen’s reaction to finding out Zhen Yan was still alive, it would be exactly the kind of thing Zhao Jing would do, to keep this kid that his brother(s) wanted to find hidden right under their noses.)

Chengling and the chicken. I can’t, y’all. And Zhou Zishu’s face as soon as he realizes what Wen Kexing is telling Chengling to do – he knows this is going to be a show.

Prince Jin, you are almost as bad as Xie’r and his awful Yifu combined:

Prince Jin: Zhou Zishu, you mastermind, your super-secret spy network continues to spread everywhere, including into my very own palace. Oh, the things you must be plotting against me!

Zhou Zishu, chillin’ at Plum Blossom Manor, day-drinking, dressing up in pretty festive robes, taking advantage of his disciple’s unpaid labor so he doesn’t have to raise a finger for himself, and providing his husband with sex so incredible he is never required to actually cook: “OK, my gay husband and our son-with-two-dads, how about we just stay here together forever and be happy?”

Also Prince Jin: *Creeps on Zhou Zishu like a gaslighting m’fker*

Anyway, if Prince Jin always knew what Han Ying was up to all along, is the letter about ZZS’s father a plant, with false info? It was just kind of suspiciously hanging out in the open on Prince Jin’s desk.

#zhao jing #xie wang #zhou zishu #wen kexing #gu xiang #cao weining #zhang chengling #han ying #prince jin #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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love-takes-work · 3 years

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Steven Universe: End of an Era: Outline & Review

I wrote this review in October but never got around to posting it here

Steven Universe: End of an Era is far more than an art book–it’s also a collection of behind-the-scenes material, stories about the experience of working on the show, planning documents and associated background info, and both older versions of developed concepts AND concepts that never made it into the show. It's a huge fusion of all those elements, and it's definitely an experience!

Some low-quality images are included with my review just to give you an idea of what’s there--it’s not a good substitute for getting your own copy, but here’s a tour!

Like the previous concept art book, Art and Origins, I'll be giving you a description of the structure and overview, while also collecting notable information for fans. Obviously just about everything is "notable" once again, but I'll aim for unique insight or perspective on the main source material, keeping the screaming about everything new to a minimum so you can also enjoy something for yourself if you pick it up. My low-quality photos should prevent people from feeling like I'm reproducing the book in any capacity. Please grab one while you can and have your own experience!

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

OVERVIEW

The book is titled "End of an Era" for a couple reasons--obviously because it is released after the show has wrapped, but also because Gem history recently ended its "Era 2" and began Era 3--an age of prosperity and peace. The author--the person in charge of adapting all of this information into this slick, readable package--is Chris McDonnell, whose work was previously applied on the Art and Origins book.

The foreword is by N.K. Jemisin, a well-known science fiction author who's a huge fan of the show (and wrote a really excellent series that also has a weird geological connection, by the way).

And the cover, like its predecessor, is shiny and decorated with a beach scene featuring minimalistic characters--this time it's the Gems at night in front of the Temple, and on the back cover is a big pink leg ship in a cross-legged pose.

The interior covers are decorated with tons of amazing sketches of Steven and Connie on the front, and a bunch of Gem sketches on the back. Every interior page that most would leave blank is highlighted with some kind of sketch art or character exercise--it's so much to look at, so much to absorb.

The book is dedicated "For Eddie."

Its organization is different from the previous book in that it shares applicable work in chunks associated with groups of episodes rather than pertaining to different aspects of building the show.

FOREWORD

N.K. Jemisin gives us such a great introduction to the book--apparently understanding very well that the audience of this book is full of animation enthusiasts and adult fans more than it is full of kids, and explaining that bewildering journey some adults had from blowing this show off as a silly kid thing to falling in love with it hard and fast.

The important thing, Jemisin says, is being able to trust a storyteller with your heart. And it was clear to her that Rebecca Sugar knew what she was talking about and was saying important things about identity and the radical power that comes with accepting it and demanding respect.

Important also is how we handle heroes and who gets to be one in fantasy. That's part of the reason Steven Universe speaks to so many--because we see ourselves here, and know stories can be about us. Acknowledging the power we all have to MAKE THINGS BETTER with what we fight for is so important--especially if we're going to speaking to the next generation about it.

Highlighting Rose Quartz as a "born leader" who failed and Steven as a relatable scamp who did what she couldn't, Jemisin asserts that we can save the world.

1. END OF AN ERA

We start with an appeal to the audience to think about identity and the formative parts of our childhood--and how different it is if who you are and who you become is restricted, mocked, erased, or Not Allowed. Most people, if not ALL people, can relate to this, but for those of us with a special relationship with Steven Universe because of queer identity, this hits hard.

But it doesn't have to be anything grand to be something we respect--this show's authenticity comes largely from how personal everything is, drawn from real-life experiences and incidental truths from each artist's perspective, leaning hard on childhood and formative experiences.

Rebecca Sugar offers some interview bits to discuss writing philosophy and why "writing female characters" was difficult for a nonbinary person who'd been socialized as a girl and a woman. Rebecca has spoken before about how frustrating it is that marketing for cartoons was SO gendered when she was growing up (and to some extent still is).

The Gems in the story are all "she/her," but on their planet they're defined by their work, not by emotion or relationships (unlike women in our society), so having them be socialized opposite to how she was and be able to claim those emotions through choice and NOT as just an expectation "as women" was revolutionary. Rebecca wants her show to tell all marginalized people that they don't deserve to be in the margins.

Weighing in on other aspects of the show were Ian Jones-Quartey, Joe Johnston, and Miki Brewster. Ian describes feeling like at first doing SU was a thrill ride that meant they'd finally get to do all the cool stuff, but it quickly became a responsibility that he took very seriously--the need to tell a good story now that he'd been given a megaphone.

Promotional art, planning documents, character sketches, and concept art from the lighthearted to the stone serious is included, along with some very cool (sort of famous) timeline charts that track major characters' developments. It's emphasized by Rebecca that the developmental materials ARE NOT CANON (and especially are not MORE canon) compared the final show.

There are concept sketches alongside final art for Aquamarine and Topaz in "Wanted" (with Topaz labeled "Imperial Topaz"), the Zircons in "The Trial," Blue and Yellow Diamond, and the Off Colors (including Pink Lars).

And there's also a spread of "the two sides of Steven's life: Gem Magic and Rock N Roll" featuring Sadie Killer and the Suspects (referred to as "Buck's band")--as well as a cool "Crew Cameos" key and some concepts for short-haired Connie.

And then there's some more "finished" art with stills alongside concepts, including some background art, revision, and really cool "fairytale" art from some of the shadowplay storytelling bits. We get "Lars of the Stars," "Jungle Moon," and "Can't Go Back."

2. THE BEGINNING OF THE END: A SINGLE PALE ROSE

In discussing the huge reveals and Gem mysteries in the show, the pacing is examined, and emphasis is put on the intended "slow burn." One of the most difficult things in the show was to strategize so that every piece that was needed to support another piece in the future was placed properly to seed what it was supposed to.

Some of the ideas they developed were more of a group effort and were fit together collaboratively (like Amethyst's being younger than the other Gems and Jasper being from Earth), while others were intended from the beginning based on Rebecca's vision (the fundamental idea of Pink Diamond's true identity, for instance, as well as Obsidian's design and sword and our Pearl not being Pink's first).

The writing process gets a great deep dive here, including fun tidbits like how the orb in the moon base was inserted by Joe Johnston and they literally had no idea what it was for when they wrote the episode. They repurposed it when they figured out what they needed.

Rebecca credits her detailed timelines for helping keep the order straight, and discusses how other artists are sometimes flabbergasted that a storyboard-driven show can have this much detail and continuity and yet not get wrecked by the free non-scripted boarding process. But Rebecca and the Crew valued that approach and loved the way fresh eyes would handle an idea, making it come back alive, entertaining, vivid.

Several Crew members weigh in on the writing process. Lauren Hecht refers to making lots of incorrect guesses despite being on the inside. Joe Johnston recalled getting briefed on his first day and getting so excited to start working on this massive project.

Miki Brewster remembered being told Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond and being shocked--and also confused about why Ruby and Sapphire would need to be married if they're already basically married. Drew Green talks about being brought in late and getting to watch unaired episodes and a rough of the movie while eating cereal.

Ian Jones-Quartey complains about Pink Diamond's real jester-like form being leaked to the internet through a Hot Topic shirt. Rebecca piggybacks on that and says it was upsetting that the wedding was leaked because of toy fair keychains featuring Ruby and Sapphire in wedding attire. They'd always be worried about leaks, and sometimes Rebecca struggled not to talk about the reality of Pink Diamond before the reveal because she knew it would make so much more sense once the truth was out. And everything associated with Rose makes more sense once you know she's Pink--especially what happened with Bismuth, considering what we know about how Pink Diamond has a habit of treating anyone who no longer serves her interests.

When it comes to visual cues, Rebecca also talks about intentional designs to create a feeling of unity between concepts, like the flower shapes on Pink Diamond's palanquin lining up with the poofs of Steven's hair and the star imagery of the series. Steven Sugar and Mary Nash discuss how the Human Zoo incorporated this imagery, trying to look like Homeworld with a Pink Diamond touch.

Steven Sugar, as a game nerd, liked to throw in video game references from old and modern stuff to feel like he's inserting what he's enjoying and who he is from moment to moment, while Mary Nash, who related to Sadie as a basement-dwelling young person with cult interests, liked to include stuff from MST3K and cult movies. Pearl's hand gestures get a spotlight too--her reflex to cover her mouth when Pink Diamond was being discussed was analyzed here.

A "Top Secret Visual Timeline" from 2016 is included which tells us some Diamond history. It has an earlier version of Pink Pearl's fate and does not include Spinel since the movie hadn't been greenlit. The timeline includes the birth of the Diamonds, the emergence and major story beats for each major character, and some philosophy of the driving force behind each.

We're told that Pink Diamond straightened up, behavior-wise, after she lost her first Pearl, and that Yellow and Blue wanted to give her a planet but White only agreed to it to prove she would fail at managing a colony. Pearl, meanwhile, is so confused to have a Diamond who keeps asking her what she thinks when she doesn't believe she should have opinions.

And when Pink moonlighted as Rose to start conflict, she found herself leading an army to fight Pink's troops--then Yellow's, and eventually Blue's too. Lapis is said to be waiting for the conflict to end on Earth so she can terraform, but she gets trapped instead.

Pearl's love story with Rose is described as "an endless honeymoon" where she's free to love her, while Rose's is more like "I'm now the head of the family and I'm going to give everyone what they never had, so everyone is super special!"

Jasper is described as "adopted" into Yellow's army as the only successful Beta Quartz. And White Diamond knew that Pink Diamond was not dead--she thought she was just running away from home like a brat and would eventually be back.

3. THE HEART OF THE CRYSTAL GEMS

Now we discuss Rose Quartz--the original Pink Diamond. How she was selfish and selfless, never enough and always too much, and how Greg was her first partner who "challenged her" to be an equal. Rebecca describes Rose as being delighted by the idea that both she and Greg reinvented themselves, but when that leads her to want to share her past, Greg isn't interested--he only wants to know who she is now, and doesn't consider the old her to be her.

Rebecca likes Carl Jung's concept of "enantiodromia," which is the idea that extremes lead to their extreme opposite. This is demonstrated in all of the Diamonds. This narrative is interspersed with drawings of Greg and Rose being cute.

But another "heart" of the Crystal Gems is its relationships--particularly, Garnet, the fairy tale romance embodied. More psychological theories are discussed with regard to differentiation in a relationship making the relationship stronger, and how they made sure that happened for Garnet during the appropriate arc. Rebecca has struggled with the idea that she, like Ruby, went straight from a "family" group to a living-with-others situation and never lived by herself. But she also learned that you can in fact develop as a person in the context of a relationship--you don't have to be alone to do it. Ruby learned that too, and chose on her own terms to be with Sapphire.

The wedding made so much sense to Rebecca and the crew that they couldn't imagine a wholesome couple like Ruby and Sapphire not having a wedding episode. They wanted it for years: The wedding concepts always included the tuxedo for Sapphire and the wedding dress for Ruby.

But pushback (often blamed on the conservative standards of the international market) led to negotiations trying to keep Ruby and Sapphire's relationship from being explicit. Rebecca and the Crew were very tired of this double standard, and they were especially irritated by attempts to claim a wedding wouldn't be well received by a core demographic or wouldn't make sense for Steven's character. But other shows had done weddings and Steven had been established to love weddings already.

Rebecca kept adding more elements to the wedding episode to answer all the concerns, but she didn't want to back down from explicit marriage between these characters. They deserved it. And the audience deserved to see this as wholesome, like any other cartoon wedding. Eventually they got their way and were allowed to have the wedding. But the ordered episodes were also coming to a close without promise of more, so Rebecca had to request more episodes to be able to wrap up the storyline!

And of course, there is Steven, the true heart of the team. A very interesting aside discusses Garnet's leadership and how the network pushed the Crewniverse to acknowledge Steven as the leader. This was successfully resisted throughout as well--because Garnet is the leader (unless she's incapacitated, of course). It's fantastic that this concept was preserved because too often a young male chosen one is elevated above people with more experience and knowledge because of that chosen one tradition, so it's really nice to have a show acknowledge that team leadership is more appropriate for an adult.

4. ERA 3

Beginning with a discussion of the Diamonds, this chapter deconstructs the dysfunctional "family" of the Diamonds (who are said to be based on tropes about evil stepmothers and stepsisters), with the thread of dysfunction originating with White Diamond.

Yellow is physical, Blue is emotional, White is judgmental, and Pink is impulsive. Some philosophy on why Pink is naturally manipulative and why she clashes so much with White is offered.

White believes her identity is to be imposed on all because she is the pinnacle of what should be--and therefore, she has the right to make decisions and statements about and on behalf of everyone. But her secret is that she can't do what the others do--act or feel or want. In trying to be everyone, she is no one.

And this becomes very important when she confronts Steven about his identity and turns out to be wrong. The triumph of Steven being totally, fully himself is a beautiful, simple revelation that's described as far more satisfying than the theories about Pink living inside him or Rose returning from his Gem.

Also discussed is Gem architecture. A lot went into this idea, and Steven Sugar weighs in to say he had to think of what it would mean for a world to have buildings but serve no human needs. That's why it's mostly focused on transport and storage. Even the broken planet is meant to indicate a place stripped for its resources, and everything serves a function that is meant to avoid looking like the human equivalents.

And there's another layer, too: a difference between Era 1 and Era 2. Era 2 became more functional to hide Era 1's broken bits, and older Homeworld buildings still have some "ornate and ancient" feel to them. And the fact that props, tools, and even walls and doors could be living was taken from a concept Rebecca thought was horrible from old Busby Berkeley movies, where people were inanimate objects and it was portrayed as lovely. Tom Herpich helped conceptualize these living objects.

Steven dealing with "princess tropes" is discussed here too. The Pebbles (worked on with Pendleton Ward) were sort of his Cinderella's mice, and all the locked-in-a-tower, having supportive tiny friends help you, getting princess clothes made, attending a ball, having to mind your manners stuff was intentionally related to fairy tales.

The point of doing that (besides fun) was to easily invoke the feeling that Steven was being made to be someone he's not, and that he was being treated like THIS is who he really is when it isn't. White Diamond as the "evil stepmother" is discussed with regard to her detailed features and massive scale. They generally didn't put fingernails and eyelashes on characters (especially not to indicate that they were women or girls!), but they decided White would get all of these feminine markers for tradition's sake.

Rebecca also invokes several other references that were included and describes the princess tropes as "chipping away at his integrity" setting him up for the final challenge with White.

There is again tons of concept art: Homeworld architecture, Pebbles, Diamond diagrams, background Jades and Lemon Jade Fusion, Comby, Diamond extraction chambers, and White Diamond.

5. CHANGE YOUR MIND

Now we finally begin to discuss Steven's identity. The "Perfect Steven," discussed in several interviews before this book's release, was an idea back in 2013; the "ultimate Steven," beefed up and shonen-looking, was far from perfect because OUR Steven is perfect, while this alpha hero Steven idea (used in Steven Universe Future) didn't belong being idolized in such a show.

They thought about having Steven fall apart into organic half and Gem half early in the show (during "Giant Woman" after a successful fusion and unfusion, even!), but they didn't try the concept until the last episode. They didn't want the "Pink" Steven to be portrayed as "better" even though he would be more powerful, so they decided he isn't whole without his organic self and he's just as much of a shell as the organic half. They absolutely did not want any ending that required Rose to be inside him or waiting to come back. But the debates were fierce--what DOES it mean to have Rose's Gem?

Ian Jones-Quartey brings in an anecdote about his own family to emphasize some of the immigrant themes that inspired aspects of the show. He had a brother who reinvented himself elsewhere away from family without resolving issues, and all the ramifications of that were explored in the show through Rose Quartz. (He is careful to say he doesn't think his immigrant experience is like being from another planet!) But he did say you can hurt your old family even if they were toxic or didn't know the real you, and you can hurt your new family by hiding your past. The Pizza family of course was also a more direct reference to Ian's Ghanaian family.

In talking about the new Fusions from this episode, Sunstone is largely described by Miki, who also got to board the Sunstone section. Sunstone was described as a cool 1990s character and the evolution just continued into making them a fourth-wall-breaking PSA dispenser. Obsidian is also discussed, with their sword being an early concept. Steven Sugar said they totally knew it would be forged in action. Obsidian being similar to the Temple design is of course another very early detail.

The story of how James Baxter got involved with one of the final scenes (Organic Steven and Pink Steven fusing in front of White Diamond) was shared. His family was fans of the show and Rebecca Sugar took the time to drive to a birthday party for his daughter and give her a drawing. He then owed her a favor, and this was it.

Concept art is again included, this time with sample boards, promo images, a Diamond fight concept, costume design changes for the Gems, new Fusions, the so-called "Mega Diamond" ship conglomerate, some scenes from the White Diamond confrontation, Pink Steven, multiple pages of James Baxter animation, corrupted Gems and their healed selves, and photos from the "Change Your Mind" premiere and some awards. The show has won one design-related Emmy, a Peabody Award, and a GLAAD award.

6. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE

The book doesn't cover the movie because it got its own book, but dives right into Future. Ian Jones-Quartey emphasizes that the movie and Future are separate and different from the original show, which ENDED. After all, after that, Steven has a neck!

Some new names are invoked now: new writers Kate Tsang, Jack Pendarvis, and Taneka Stotts. They were excited to have Steven make HIS OWN mistakes instead of trying to clean up someone else's! Now, instead of doing the usual shonen anime thing and having the final battle be a big physical rumble, Steven has to make peace with himself and take an active role in coping with what all the fighting has done to him and what effect it's had on who he is (and who he wants to be). There is no sudden "I love myself!" answer, either. It's always a process.

Drew Green and Maya Petersen, who came on board as storyboarders officially in Future, also weighed in on writing for a "mature" show, how to deal with Steven being a "moral compass" while being sort of unreliable, and what they learned as Crew that they didn't know as fans. Drew didn't know Garnet never asks questions. Jack didn't realize the show never deviated from Steven's point of view. Taneka was nervous but excited to collaborate. Kate was worried about how established the show was and what to do as a new writer to contribute appropriately.

Maya was on the old Crew but not as a storyboarder, so felt like some of the "old" ideas ended up not being appropriate for the "new" Future in an embarrassing way--and dreaded the idea of dealing with Steven's emotional problems when they were similar to stuff she'd been through. She also was personally behind the idea of Steven wanting to dump his problems by becoming Stevonnie, and got to work with Etienne Guignard on inventing the Pearl creation backstory with Volleyball.

There's some discussion of "depression hobbies," stress, and the show's pacing. And they say Etienne was entertaining at pitches. There's even some discussion of how Greg is taken off a bit of a pedestal because his terrible restrictive life in the suburbs sounded wholesome to Steven and Greg presented it negatively.

And then there is some information about how the Crew felt behind the scenes due to fan reactions and negative press. Ian discusses feeling offended when the Black characters are described as bad examples, as if their cartoonized but realistic-in-context features are automatically caricatures.

Rebecca Sugar felt beaten down by some of these narratives and began to access mental health services, inspiring some of the content of "Mindful Education." A long reflection from Rebecca discusses people's infighting about her show and what she had a responsibility to show or not show in the story. She learned a lot about bullying from Cartoon Network's anti-bullying program and learned that bullies thrive on whatever attention you give them--unless it is made clear to them by a peer group that no one is impressed by their cruel actions. Also, not all negative feedback is bullying. Constructive criticism is different. Self-awareness can help you avoid internalizing what bullies might do or say to you.

Segueing from the discussion of how people are affected by and connect with the show, we then discuss how they chose as a team what should be covered as the show came to a close. They didn't have time to do quite a few stories they wanted time for, like a Rhodonite story, a Lars side story, and Diamond "prehistory" and religion; all of it was put aside for the main arc with Steven.

They thought people would find those stories about Homeworld and Off Color history very interesting, but so much of the show had been about Steven's Gem adventures, so keeping him mostly on Earth seemed appropriate. The acknowledgment of his battle damage, of his trauma, was necessary and real, and helpful in an important way to the core audience.

Oh, and there was some stuff about a cheeseburger tree. Don't ask.

In discussing the "reverse escapism" of the original show (Gem aliens are intrigued by everyday human culture, and realism is necessary), Rebecca says her views have changed on escapism and gets why some people want a soothing feel-better show. She acknowledged also that her own escapist dreams-come-true fulfilled in the show didn't feel like escapism because they were givens to the majority of mainstream culture, but were never guaranteed to marginalized people.

Rebecca ties in her several-times-told story about "Love Like You" and how the middle bit was when she didn't feel she was worth looking up to, and the realizations she had to tie the beginning to the end. Feeling like someone will like you less if they know you more is terrible. So sometimes a show like this can be helpful in telling people that they belong when their fantasies are things like "I want to be loved" and "I want to know I exist."

In Future, Steven has to connect to who he is and love that person--and understand that person enough to finally feel that even if he's not fixing their problems or saving their world right this second, Steven deserves his family's love and support, and they WANT to give it to him.

There's a huge amount of supplemental material in this section so there's no way I could name it all. The charts for Future's timeline are pretty straightforward, though a few episodes like "A Very Special Episode," "Why So Blue," "In Dreams," and "Bismuth Casual" aren't specifically represented and a couple are in a different order ("Prickly Pair" was conceived as happening after "Fragments" and "Homeworld Bound").

Steven feeling like a monster, having intrusive thoughts, having not forgiven the Diamonds, and getting help/moving on--it's all there.

We have keys, color scripts, and boards for the new opening and some various backgrounds and storyboard art from episodes. Model sheets for Shep, Nice Lapis and Mean Lapis, Jasper, Steven Tag Gems, Pink Steven Powers, Monster Steven. New house concepts, Era 3 Homeworld concept art for the Diamond environments, and background art for the Reef.

New Connie and Greg designs. Concepts for Mega Pearl, the Rose Quartzes, Bluebird, and Morganite (who didn't get used). And there are some photos from recording and the conference room. There are even some extras from "Crossover Nexus," the crossover with OK K.O.!--including an unused cut scene that included Ruby and Sapphire fighting. The rest of the book is a bunch of adorable Crewniverse art--extras, blog drawings, promos, and gifts to each other.

NOTABLE

The first timeline chart in the book features a cool sketch of the original Off Colors, which at the time this planning document was drafted included unused Off Colors Flint and Chert.

We knew of their existence already because of an episode of the podcast, but these two unexpectedly appeared as incidental characters in the Steven Universe Future episode "Homeworld Bound," identified only in the credits. Sad to think that instead of banding with the Off Colors, these two were probably shattered for their crime (being Quartzes who don't want to fight) and that's why we see them being repaired in this episode. Later, there's some brainstorming for types of Off Colors and "a Ruby that wants to wear limb enhancers" is mentioned as well.

It looks like there was also originally more juice to the story of tracking down the events of the war culminating in Pink Diamond's assassination.

One of the timelines talks about Steven thinking it makes sense that Pearl can't talk about her involvement because she might have been a double agent, explaining why Rose Quartz always knew what Pink Diamond was doing. It seems like that bit was supposed to be included in Garnet's version of the story she believed in "Your Mother and Mine." Seems like they originally conceived Garnet's story to inspire the Off Colors to become pirates and freedom fighters, though in the show's canon this storytelling happened after Lars had already reinvented himself the way he did.

Sadie was also supposed to be sending letters to Lars via Steven, which is funny since the "Letters to Lars" episode is just a montage Steven letter. And of course it's specified that Steven was supposed to get Pink Diamond flashbacks by going to the Palace on Homeworld.

The second chart in the book makes references to Sadie's reinvention of herself as a parallel to Lars, Greg, and Pink Diamond all doing the same thing, and how positive it is to embrace such a thing--a version of yourself that YOU create.

I love that Yellow Diamond's arm ship arm-wrestling the Cluster was always part of the plan.

There's some more explicit direction to have Connie help Steven understand the Diamonds as "strict parents," and a lot more emphasis on everyone realizing Rose had been inspired by THEM rather than them all following her.

White Diamond is presented here as if she thinks of Pink Diamond as a "daughter" (whom she now understands she has "lost"). There are notes on how the Diamonds have a responsibility to their children and should attend to it before just continuing to make more.

One of the concept art images for the Off Colors features Rhodonite crouching by Padparadscha saying "Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you." It's very interesting because she DOES seem to protect Padparadscha in the show, but doesn't seem confident about it in her final version, even though it does seem like she'd be "programmed" to guard aristocratic Gems because of her Ruby and Pearl makeup. Cool.

A "Crew Cameos" spread was included, which is of great interest to some of us who loved seeing the Crew insert themselves into the show. Not every SU Crew person who's been represented in a crowd was there, but this crowd included Amish Kumar, Kat Morris, Amanda Winterstein, Angie Wang, Lamar Abrams, Emily Walus, Mary Nash, Joe Johnston, Christy Cohen, Danny Cragg, Hilary Florido, Danny Hynes, Matt Burnett, Ben Levin, Elle Michalka.

The official national flower of South Korea, Hibiscus syriacus, is the name of Pink Diamond's flower.

One of Steven Sugar's comments about the silhouette difference between humans and Gems points out that humans have ears. This seems to be pretty good confirmation that they are not supposed to have ears, despite that sometimes we'll see ears drawn on them in some frames.

Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is characterized in this book as "self-hating" in a really interesting way, saying that because she believed she was not capable of compassion, she practically worshiped those who demonstrated that ability and thought they were so much better than her--which is described as "intoxicating" and resulted in others being drawn to her. How interesting is that!

Timelines reveal that early plans for Pink Diamond's first Pearl originally had her getting destroyed by Pink during a game, and then her destruction was rewritten as a punishment from the Diamonds after Pink Pearl defended Pink Diamond to the other Diamonds. They went back to the idea of her getting hurt by Pink for the final version, though the cracked face and control by White Diamond was not on the agenda until they started writing "Change Your Mind."

10.

The approximate ages of the major characters, based on emergence, are revealed on these timelines. It begins with a cracked-planet-looking graphic depicting four tiny Diamonds emerging at 20,000 years ago. Some suspicious "blacked out" redacting surrounds a long timeline tail that goes back before that, which may mean there are secrets they still don't want to reveal. But the dates go like this:

20,000 years ago: The Diamonds emerge.

11,000 years ago: Pearl is custom-made for Pink Diamond.

8,000 years ago: Sapphire emerges (on Homeworld).

6,000 years ago: Ruby emerges (on a colony).

5,750 years ago: Garnet is formed.

5,600 years ago: Lapis is poofed and put in the mirror.

5,200 years ago: Jasper emerges (on Earth).

5,050 years ago: The Cluster is planted.

5,000 years ago: Amethyst emerges (on Earth).

4,500 years ago: The Crystal Gems found Amethyst.

3,000 years ago: Peridot emerges (on Homeworld).

40 years ago: Pearl found Lapis's mirror at the Galaxy Warp.

And of course we know 14 years ago Steven is born!

11.

Originally the Diamonds were based on a quartet of themes: Love, Fear, Pride, and Sorrow. It got too complicated to keep and it was abandoned, with Pink's identification of "love" being described as "particularly outdated."

12.

Notes on a sketch say that Pearl was inspired to become bold and unashamed because Pink's questions drove her to have opinions, and it's said that Rose "fell in love" with her boldness.

13.

Rebecca tells the story of driving off a ridge and getting stuck in the desert, comparing this to Ruby's tumble during her Wild West adventure and using it as inspiration. She's told this story before but here it is in print. She also included the story about using the flowers from a friend's wedding to put in Ruby's hair.

14.

Rebecca describes having to "fight" notes she was given when it had to do with Ruby and Sapphire's relationship. One she describes as NOT fighting was for a signing card depicting Ruby and Sapphire dancing. It was called "too romantic" and she decided not to worry about it since it wasn't the actual show content.

She was also scolded over her book The Answer because the powers that be expected her to downplay that relationship. She always argued that queer youth deserved these things.

15.

Tom Herpich describes being inspired to name Blue Diamond's comb "Comby" because he was watching the news about Comey getting fired from the FBI. It's also a mineral-related term and I always assumed that reference was intentional, but maybe it's not and this is the only intended significance to Comby's name?

16.

Rainbow Quartz 2.0's design is not discussed, though the other two new Fusions from "Change Your Mind" (Sunstone and Obsidian) were. RQ2 has some sketches included, but no accompanying narrative in the text.

17.

A sheet of corrupted Gems and their healed selves is offered, though it doesn't appear to be final. The obelisk in "Serious Steven" is labeled Albite. The unnamed Worm Monster, Desert Glass, and Watermelon Tourmaline are included. An unnamed birdlike Gem represents the Big Bird monster from "Giant Woman." The crab monster from "Arcade Mania" is labeled Blue Chalcedony. The Tongue Monster is drawn uncorrupted but not named. The Flower Monster from "Back to the Kindergarten" is labeled Grossular Diopside or Titanite. The invisible monster from "Island Adventure" is labeled Moonstone. The Lighthouse Gem is labeled White Topaz. A form for Larimar that was used in "Change Your Mind" but changed in Future is there. The Slinker is listed as Chrysocolla. And the Crab Monster is listed as Aventurine.

On the next page, this is changed to Bixbite (as it was in Steven Universe Future), and we then also have Lace Amethyst, Blue Lace Agate, Crazy Lace Agate (Fusion), Ocean Jasper, the Mother Centipeetle Nephrite (Facet 413 Cabochon 12) and three other Nephrites, Angel Aura Quartz, a hooded Jasper, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Watermelon Tourmaline (labeled as Fusion of Gem * Onion--huh?), Snowflake Obsidian, "Little" Larimar, and Orange Spodumene (who was the Worm).

18.

The Rhodonite side story would have been about the love story of a Ruby and a Pearl working for Morganite. Images of Morganite and her servants, unfused, are in the book. We do not get this additional information, but Rebecca said in a panel shortly before the book's release that Rhodonite's story would have been about finding out that she had been Rejuvenated 17 times because her components kept falling in love and needing to be reset.

19.

Referring to the Diamonds on one of the charts, Steven's perspective is "I can't believe I helped these" and then there's a censor bar. Welp.

20.

Some included art by Hilary Florido features Kevin with a souped-up Koala Princess car and another where Kevin is staring at himself in the mirror in front of an altar to himself.

21.

Rebecca's sweater collection is included in the Crew art.

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

#steven universe #steven universe end of an era #su spoilers #long post #su merch #myblog

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derivativealigner · 3 years

Text

Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

#south park #sp rewatch #i made way too many notes #kenny used to get dialog in almost every episode #poor kenny #he really gets shafted later

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crowsnests · 3 years

Text

taste of certainty - part four

Fandom: The Arcana Pairing: Julian Devorak x OC Apprentice (Syran Elkas) Tags: friends to lovers; modern times au; friend group dynamic; slow burn; pining; really just Julian being Julian and Syran being Oblivious Words: 8280 Warnings: mention of anxiety, migraines, insomnia, alcohol

part 1 2 3 4 5

playlist

Believing in something more than just the surface I trust that this is worth it, But my toes are hanging off the ledge

-trust, half-alive

IV. heavy storm

Everything hurts and everything seems blurry. Syran feels like she’s floating, her feet not touching the ground. She hears a mix of sounds, the clanking of metal, a voice urgently talking to someone, the shutting of a door. Something is tickling her face. She groans and opens her eyes, light disorienting her.

“Syran! Oh, god–”

She looks up towards the hurried voice and, finally, things come into focus. Ilya’s face looms above her, eyes so big and worried that she fears they might fall out of his skull. Everything is spinning. There’s someone else calling from– the floor?

“–lo? Ilya, is everything okay?”

“Just a second!” He yells at the floor, then starts moving. And Syran moves with him.

Oh, okay. He is carrying her.

He lays her down on something soft and Syran finally takes in her surroundings. She tries to sit up, but Ilya’s hand pushes her back. “Ah, ah, ah, no– stay down, okay?”

Another fit of pain to her head, Syran winces.

“Take deep breaths, you’re okay. You’re okay.” Whether Ilya is saying that to reassure her or himself, Syran doesn’t know.

“I’m going to grab my phone real quick, yeah? I’ll be back in a split second, please don’t get up.”

Syran vaguely nods and Ilya gets out of her vision. She recognises the ceiling of her apartment– how did she get here?

It slowly comes back together: the stars, Ilya, the walk, the migraine, Ilya, the person hitting her, her losing balance. Ilya. The pain in her head, a million times worse.

Ilya returns, kneeling by the couch. This time he’s got his phone lodged between his ear and shoulder, and some cloth in hand.

“Yeah, Nadia, we’re here– she’s awake–” he reaches the fabric to Syran’s forehead and she shies away at the contact. “It’s just water, don’t you worry, yeah? We’ll fix this, it’s nothing big.” Ilya reassures Syran, as the voice from the phone keeps talking underneath. “I’ll call you later, okay? Y–yes, I’ll take care of her– I’ve got a fucking medical degree, Nadia!” He hangs up, then reaches the newly free hand to cup Syran’s face.

“Can you talk?” he asks, voice now hushed, just for her.

“Y– yeah–” Syran mutters. “I think– so.”

Ilya smiles a little, relieved. “Good– that’s good.” He sighs, then looks around the room. “Do you have a first aid kit? A medical cabinet?”

Syran nods a little. Her head is about to blow up, she’s sure. “Bathroom– under the sink.”

“Okay, can you hold this here? Apply some pressure?”

Syran realises he’s still holding the cloth to her forehead, and she figures that’s why she felt something down her face. She’s bleeding. She tries not to let anxiety get the best of her and reaches up to do as told. Ilya covers her hand, fingers cool to the touch, and presses gently.

“Good, like this. I’ll be right back.”

Ilya takes care of her with delicate hands and gentle whispers, cleans her wound and bandages it, brings her water, holds some ice to her head. He reassures her all the way through, makes sure she’s okay until the end– until her head stops spinning and the pain calms down enough for her to slowly sit up.

He’s still crouched by the sofa, wide eyes looking up at her, his hands on her waist. Had she not felt like this, Syran would have overthought that touch, that contact– her heart would have made somersaults.

But right now, she can only think of one thing– sleep.

“How do you feel?” Ilya asks.

Syran huffs a laugh, “Like I hit my head.”

Ilya smirks, although worry doesn’t leave his face. “Well, yeah. But I told you before, you’ve got a strong skull there. You won’t need any stitches.”

Syran laughs a little again, reaches a hand up to where she feels the stinging pain, finding some gauze wrapped around her head instead.

“I wouldn’t touch that,” Ilya gently pulls her hand away, but doesn’t let go.

“You might have a concussion. Think you can stay up for a bit?”

“Uh– I guess.” She wants to sleep, really, but she should trust Ilya more than herself when it comes to medical advice. “What happened? There was a guy–“

“He was running and bumped into you, you hit your head on the concrete. I tried to call after him, but he was faster– I thought it better to stay with you.”

“Well, here ends my wrestling career.” She mutters, pain still making her feel dizzy.

Ilya chuckles, then gets up, sits next to her.

“I don’t want to scare you, but if you still feel bad in a bit I think we should go to the hospital.”

“Are you sure? I’m– I’m not that bad.”

“You hit your head pretty hard, Syran.”

His voice is soft, but serious. He sounds genuinely concerned, it warms her heart.

“Fuck– I have work to do tomorrow.”

“On a saturday?”

“Yeah– I can’t miss it. I need to go to bed.” She tries to get up but Ilya’s hands softly pull her from the waist and make so that she sits back down.

“No, no, no, missy, not until we’re sure you’re okay. Feeling sleepy is part of the symptoms.”

She feels frustrated. She enjoys his company, but– her bed calls.

“Ilya,” She whines. “I’m tireeed.”

“I know, but if your concussion is bad I’m not letting you hurt yourself more. How about we watch something? And drink some water.”

She pouts at him, but he doesn’t budge.

“Aight.” She resigns.

“Good, I’ll go get you water– don’t get up!”

“Yessir!” She mocks him, but it just makes him laugh.

A glass of water and an episode of The Bake Off later, Syran feels much better. Ilya made her take some painkillers too, which helped with the throbbing in her head. He sits close to her and has been asking her how she feels every now and then.

“I’m fine, Ilya. Much better, I swear.”

“Okay, okay– you sure? You don’t wanna go to the hospital? No more dizziness? Nausea?”

“No, doctor. Just the pain in the temple.”

“Good, okay– I mean, bad, I wish you weren’t hurting, but it’s good all the other stuff is gone.”

“No hospital, then?” She asks as the credits roll.

He sighs. “I’d still take you but if you’re sure you’re okay, then- some rest should do the trick.”

“Nice. Good.”

“So, ready for bed?” He asks, nonchalantly.

“I–uh–” for a second, Syran gapes at the various implications of his words. But then again, that is a perfectly normal question, given the situation. “Yeah– I need my pillows.”

Ilya lets out a small laugh, “That you do.”

He helps her get up and to her room. When they reach the door, he seems to hesitate.

Syran turns to him, small smile on her lips. “I’ll change myself, don’t you worry, Doctor.”

“I– uh– no- I was more thinking that you shouldn’t move your head much right now,” Ilya mumbles, clearly flustered.

“Can I at least wear pajama bottoms? Sleeping in jeans is a sin.”

That makes Ilya laugh and he finally lets her go. “Be careful, though.”

“Yep, yep,” Syran waves him off, closing the door behind her.

“I’ll– uh– I’ll wait here!” He exclaims from behind the door.

Syran slowly undresses, careful to her head, gently putting on her nightwear– really just some sweatpants and a hoodie. She looks at herself in the mirror: the smudged make-up, the faded lipstick, the bandages, bits of blood still sticking on her hair, the look of utter pain lingering on her face.

Well, she can’t look worse than this.

When she opens the door again, Ilya is pacing back and forth, typing aggressively on his phone.

“All done,” Syran says. Ilya’s head shoots up.

“Right, well, good, that’s good,” He takes her in, then his features soften. “You should rest now, really.”

“I guess so,” she smiles, then winces a little at another fit of pain.

Ilya immediately reaches for her. “Does it hurt again? Should I help you lay down?”

She nods and lets him help her to bed; he carefully props up a pillow for her and tucks her in under the duvet. It’s sweet, really. Syran’s heart is fluttering a little, under all the pain.

Then, a little meow fills the silence, paws pressing up into her side.

Amongst all this chaos, she had forgotten about Persephone.

“Ah, yes, it– it wouldn’t leave your side before either,” Ilya smiles at the cat. “What’s its name?”

“Persephone,” Syran reaches to pet her. The cat leans into her hand softly.

“She’s a good cat,” Ilya says.

“Yeah, can’t believe you never met her before,” Syran then moves her head slightly, looks at her nightstand. “Hey, can you– can you pass me that little plastic bag? It’s got makeup wipes in it.”

“Oh, sure–” Ilya does as told and passes her a wipe directly, then Syran slowly cleans her face off.

“I’ll get you some more water, okay?” Ilya asks, but before she can reply he’s already out the door. Syran finishes removing her makeup as best as she can, arm plopping down as soon as she’s done. She sighs, hoping for the throbbing in her head to subside soon.

Ilya comes back with water and some more pain relievers, she gulps the water down, then goes to clean her face some more. When she’s done Ilya looks at her and chuckles a little.

“What?”

“You’ve got– uh– some–uh, erm, can I?” He reaches for the wipe, still in Syran’s hand. She lets him take it. “You’ve got black smudged on your cheek”, he smiles fondly and leans down to wipe her face, hands ever so gentle.

Syran can’t help but be aware of his closeness this time. She looks at his profile, sharp and clean, his grey eyes focused on the task, hair falling down his face.

When he’s done, their eyes meet and Syran’s heart is in her throat. They’ve never been close like this.

She can see Ilya swallow, his hand still kind of hovering near her lips. Then, as if waking from a dream, he shoots back up.

“Well– I’ll– I’ll let you sleep then. Let me– let me know if you need anything. The pills will help with the pain when you wake up.” He clears his throat and turns to Persephone, pointing a finger at her, brow furrowed. “You keep guard, ‘kay?”

“She will,” Syran says, faint smile on her lips. Suddenly, exhaustion starts to take over her, as her body catches up to all the night’s efforts.

“Ilya?” She calls, as he walks towards her bedroom door.

“Mh?” He turns to her.

“Thank you– Uh. You’re– you’re really kind.”

Ilya smiles, “Just doing my job.”

Syran drifts off to sleep just as Ilya closes the bedroom door behind him, Perspephone purring beside her.

🂱

It’s still dark outside when Syran wakes up.

She slowly sits up, careful to the pain in her head. It makes her wince a little, but it’s not as bad as before. She looks around her room, soft moonlight peeking through the window, Persephone curled up and sleeping beside her.

Syran reaches for the water on her nightstand, notices the dirty makeup wipe next to it. She can’t help but smile. Stars know what would have happened to her if Ilya hadn’t helped her.

When she’s done with the water, though, she realises she’s still thirsty. Slowly, she pads out of bed, taking her time to do every little movement. Persephone looks up at her after a big yawn.

“I’m just getting water, I promise,” Syran says.

Persephone doesn’t move, but carefully follows her with her eyes as Syran exits her room.

She makes her way to the kitchen, doesn’t turn on any light– luckily the ones from outside are outlining enough of the apartment for her. A chill runs down her spine; the temperature is much colder.

She chugs down the second glass of water, then starts walking back to her room.

Just then, she hears it– a soft murmur. Someone almost– whining?

She turns to her right, where her couch is. A figure is laying on it, arm hanging from one side–

Fuck.

Ilya is still here.

She slowly makes her way to the front of the couch, notices how Ilya barely fits on the length of it, his feet hanging over the armrest. His boots are hastily thrown on the floor and his coat is loosely draped over him. His phone is on the floor too, next to his dangling hand.

His face is all scrunched up on one of the couch pillows, and now Syran is sure, he’s talking in his sleep. Not concrete enough words to make sense, just a murmur here and then. She doesn’t know what to do.

She wonders what in fresh hell made him decide to stay like this and not go home, but a voice deep at the back of her brain tells her she knows why. He clearly cares about her and wanted to make sure she’s okay.

Syran wants to half smack him, half hug him. She sighs.

She’s got a few throw blankets in her bedroom, so she quickly goes back, under Perspehone’s curious stare, and brings them to the living area.

Careful not to wake him up, she removes Ilya’s coat and drapes one of the blankets over him. His breath hitches at one point, which makes Syran freeze, but he doesn’t wake up. She slowly puts another one over him, making sure it covers enough for him to keep warm.

“–mail. Snail? Lovely– leaf eye.”

Syran stifles a chuckle at the weird mix of words coming out of Ilya’s mouth. Before she knows it, she reaches out to move some hair out of his face.

Then, he starts talking again and Syran immediately shoots away, startled. The hell was she thinking?

With the sudden movement, though, her head spins for a second, and she stumbles back. The back of her knee hits the coffee table, making the potted plants on it rattle. She almost falls on it, but she grabs ahold of herself.

“Shit–” She whispers, hand to her temple.

“—yran?”

She turns back towards Ilya, who’s looking up at her with half-lidded eyes. She crouches down to him.

“Hey– hey, Ilya, sorry– I–”

“‘re you okay?” He slurs, clearly still half asleep.

“Yes, yes I– I didn’t mean to wake you up,” She sighs, “You didn’t have to stay.”

He reaches for her cheek with his free hand. “I wanted to– you’re– I'm glad you’re safe.”

At this point Syran doesn’t know if the blood in her body spikes up because of everything that’s happening or because of how calmly Ilya does and says certain things, making her stomach turn upside down.

“I’m– I’m glad you were here to help–” She murmurs, reaching up to cup his hand.

Sleep is clearly heavy on both of them, Ilya’s lids barely holding open.

“ ‘nytime.” He smiles sweetly, as his eyes close again. “Anytime, for you.”

His hand slowly drifts back down, and Syran holds it all the way through. She doesn’t want to let go– it’s something like four in the morning and she hates to admit this to herself, but she wonders how it would feel to lay to sleep with him. How it would be to hold him through the night.

With a shake of her head, she carefully gets up, getting back to her bedroom.

It’s all in her mind. There’s nothing going on, right?

Right?

🂱

The next time Syran wakes up, is to her phone alarm. She groans and shuts it off immediately, checking the time.

7:30 am. Ugh. She’s got work.

There’s a few messages on her phone– more than a few, actually.

It all comes back to her.

All of her friends have contacted her, from Muriel to Nadia, all of them wishing her well, asking to call when she awakes, reassuring her. As she’s reading through them, a call from Asra sets the phone off.

“Mhmh?” she croaks.

“Oh god– oh god, you’re awake. Are you okay? Ilya isn’t picking up–” Asra sounds extremely worried, but there’s also relief in his words.

“I’m okay, hey, Asra– I’m fine,” Syran tries to sound as calm as possible. “I promise.”

“Right, yes, good.” He exhales, “Syran, I’m– I’m sorry. I feel like it’s my fault– if I hadn’t left you alone like that–”

“Hey, no, stop right there,” Syran reprimands him. “You have nothing to do with this. It could have happened anytime. And I wasn’t alone. It’s not your fault. Don’t you dare say that again, okay?”

Asra takes a pause, but when he speaks again he sounds more relieved, “Okay– okay.”

“How are you, anyway? With the whole– Valer–”

“I didn’t call to talk about me, S,” Asra counters. “I’m fine. We’ll talk about it when you’re better, all that matters now is that you’re okay.”

Syran can’t help but smile at his concern, “Understood. But really, I’m okay. Just a little scrape.”

“Ilya said it was a concussion–”

“Yeah, well– I guess. But I’m much better now.” She’s not lying, really. Things are not as fuzzy as last night, and definitely not as painful.

“He helped you, right? He took good care of you?” Asra sounds threatening, like the thought of Ilya not helping would be enough for Asra to send him to the gallows.

A flash of memories floods her again; the way Ilya handled things, how he reassured her, fixed everything. Made it better. The way he held her hands and cupped her cheek, tended to her with the utmost care. Her face grows warm for the millionth time this week.

“Yes, he–” she clears her throat. “He did. He was very kind.”

“Good, he better have been,” She can hear Asra relax again. “Is he there, still? He hasn’t come home.”

“Yeah, he’s– he’s here. I think.”

“You think?” Asra’s tone is edging on playful and she really doesn’t have the will to argue with him right now. “Or you know?”

She sighs. “Asra. He slept on the couch, last time I checked. Maybe he’s left, I don’t know.”

“Aw, he stayed to look over you, that’s cute.” Then his tone changes again. “And honestly if he hadn’t I would have killed him.”

“Stars, it was a small accident, not a car crash! I’m fine, Asra, seriously.”

“Okay, okay. I should get ready for work, I’ll come over later, okay?”

“Uh– no, I’ll see you there–”

“Don’t you dare show up to the office. Muriel’s calling there as we speak. You’re off for the day, please rest.”

Something in his voice tells her she’s better off not retaliating. “All right, all right, jeez.”

“Good. Now go check on your charming doctor, he’s probably going to eat his own hands in worry until he sees you stand up.”

“Shut up–”

“Toodles!” Asra hangs up before Syran can insult him. She shakes her head with a smile.

Persephone prances up in her lap.

“Good morning, cutie,” Syran grins at her.

Then, a gentle knock on the door.

“Uh– Syran? You awake? I– I heard you speak–” Ilya’s voice sounds hesitant.

“Yep, you can come in!” She says, letting Persephone go to slowly sit on the side of the bed.

“Oh– okay.” Ilya gingerly pokes his head into the bedroom, eyes quickly finding hers.

She smiles at him, “Goodmorning.”

“Goodmorning– I– uh– just wanted to check on you one last time.”

“You can enter, you know?” She laughs, then pats the spot beside her. “I promise I won’t bite.”

“Ha– right. Yeah. Sure.” His voice still sounds groggy, a little huskier than usual. Syran tries not to think about that.

When he sits down next to her, Persephone is quick to come around him and prance in his lap, meowing up at him.

“Ah, my assistant,” he smiles as he scratches her behind the ears.

“She was excellent,” Syran laughs.

“Good,” Ilya looks up at her, eyes soft. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Better.” He doesn’t look convinced. “Really, Ilya. I probably would have been a lot worse if you hadn’t been there to help. I’m good.”

Ilya gapes at her for a second, then turns back to pet Persephone. She notices his ears are red, but she turns back towards her window, sunlight streaming through.

“I barely did anything, but– I'm glad,” he says. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Syran thinks back at their small exchange in the middle of the night. Does he not remember?

“Ah and– thank you for the blankets. You didn’t have to. I assume you put them?”

“No, that was the house ghost, actually.” She teases him, bumping his shoulder. “And you didn’t have to either. Stay, I mean. You should have gone home and gotten proper sleep.”

He looks up at her, something akin to shock in his eyes. “I couldn’t have, I wouldn't– I wouldn’t have been able to sleep. I hope it didn’t bother you. That I stayed.”

“It didn’t,” she sighs, “I’m just sorry you went through all the trouble.”

“Syran, no–” Ilya scowls at her, “It was no trouble. At all. And not your fault either, that’s on the asshole that pushed you.” He looks genuinely angry at the thought. “I wanted to– I want to be there for you.”

Syran’s breath hitches, she doesn’t know what to say, not when he’s looking at her like that.

So, she just nods, tries to utter a thank you.

“And hey–” he adds, smirking. “I’m pretty sure your couch is more comfortable than my own bed.”

“That’s why we got it,” she laughs. “Want some coffee?”

Syran insists she make him some breakfast, too, before he leaves. It’s the least she could do, after all that.

It’s a little weird and a little natural, the way they casually chat, the way Ilya reaches for the mugs on the top shelf, the way he helps her anyway, because she’s still his patient, after all. It’s oddly domestic, surprisingly peaceful, it feels right, how easily they work together.

It’s confusing yet simple at the same time.

Ilya shows her how to clean her wound and gives her advice even as she ushers him out the door; Syran all smiles and promises, Ilya all apprehensive and considerate.

When Syran finally takes a shower – careful, careful to the wound, careful to the movements, just like Ilya told her– all she can do is smile. It might seem a bit jarring, considering the circumstances, but. She got to see a side of Ilya that she never thought much about.

Sure, she knew he was caring, she knew he put effort into his profession and studies, she knew he was thoughtful. She’s always been able to see that, through the deflecting humour and the charming grins.

Still, seeing him so– gentle, so attentive, so concerned for her wellbeing was– something else.

And then seeing him laugh, and pad behind her to help her in the kitchen, still throwing a careful eye to her every now and then; seeing him beside her like that. It made her realise how even before that, before all of the pain, she has always admired his resolve to stand up for his friends, to protect those he loves.

Seeing him look at her with a whirlwind of emotion passing through his eyes, just as that same whirlwind passed in her chest–

Syran doesn’t want to give into it, but she feels like she might not be imagining things after all.

🂱

It takes a few days, but Syran’s pain gets better. The wound on her temple is still there, but it’s healing pretty quickly now, which calms her down a lot. She ices it every now and then, and the days of rest she gets off work really help.

Things haven’t slowed down though. When she gets back, although her friends do ask her about her wellbeing, things get hectic quite quickly.

Syran tries to take a few more breaks when she’s allowed, which helps, but really it’s like there’s not enough time to get everything ready. So, today, she ends up working overtime.

The lights in the office have dimmed, last rays of sunshine peeking through the big window. There are not many people left with her, only Varya and two other of her colleagues. After a while, Varya walks up to her as Syran is checking for the umpteenth time that the graphics for the new packaging are correct.

“Hey, we’re about to go get some drinks, do you want to come? You’ve been doing a lot today.” Varya smiles kindly and Syran ponders on her offer. She is a little hungry and her headache has slowly increased in the past hour.

“I don’t know, honestly–” She frowns. “I think I’ll just be knocked out after all this. I’ll let you know if I change my mind, though? Thank you for telling me.” She smiles, genuinely appreciating Varya’s offer.

“Sure, text me when you get home, though. Don’t stay too late!” Varya preaches teasingly, then pats her on the back and walks out of the office, the sound of her heeled boots fading along the corridor.

When she’s left alone in the room, Syran realises just how tense her shoulders are, how much she’s slouching forward towards the computer screen, how her eyes are strained and dry. Even her scar is making itself heard, slightly throbbing in pain.

Syran sighs, trying to relax back into her chair. She looks up at the ceiling and takes a few deep breaths, trying to let out a little bit of her anxiety. It’s been a while since she excessively struggled with it, but days like this are not easy on her. She really wants to do a good job and now that she is in charge of a lot of things the responsibilities heavily weigh down on her.

She slows her breathing, notices that her hands are shaking a little, so she closes her eyes and tries to focus only on the rise and fall of her stomach. Slowly but surely, it calms her down. When she opens her eyes the air doesn’t feel so suffocating anymore.

Just then, her phone vibrates with a call.

The screen reads Ilya’s name and her chest is back to feeling anxious. But this time it’s a little different. Not as stressful, but surprised, rather. Almost– excited.

“Hey,” she breathes out. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Ilya replies, “Just. Uh– I wanted to check up on you. How’s your wound feeling?”

Syran can’t help but feel touched by his words. He’s been sending her texts now and then the past few days, even if just to remind her to take it easy, or to clean the wound at the end of the day, or to share some funny thing that happened to him. Syran soon realised just how much they helped her and how much she started looking forward to them.

“Better,” She twirls in her chair. “Honestly, the headache hurts more.”

Ilya clicks his tongue, “You really should get those checked out. You get them way too often.” He sounds positively concerned, if not a little frustrated, even.

Syran chuckles, endeared by his tone. “It’s okay, doctor. I’ve had these for a while now, I know how to deal with them.”

Ilya’s tone doesn’t change. “Still, recurring migraines are not to be taken lightly. They can really be debilitating, I’m sure you know that. Is it a chronic condition? It sounds like it might be, I can– I can get someone at the hospital to treat you, if you want, my mentor is amazing in their field–”

“Ilya,” She interrupts him, “Breathe. I’m okay. I’m used to it.”

She can almost see his frown on the other side of the line. “You shouldn’t be. I– I wish you weren’t.”

God, she wants to take her heart out of her chest because it’s just choking her a little too much now. She tries really hard not to give much meaning to his worry. He’s her friend, he’s in the medical field, of course he wants to help, of course he’s concerned. He’d be like this with everyone else, she’s sure.

“That’s–” she clears her throat. “That’s sweet of you, but trust me, I’ll be fine. All I need is some good food and peaceful sleep.”

She’s not sure she can get the latter since she’s been having even more trouble with staying asleep during the night, but she can still hope.

“Well, I actually thought– uh. Wait. Are you done with work? You’re done, right?”

“Not really,” she sighs, looking at her computer screen. “Doing overtime today. Trying to get a headstart since Thursday we launch a new line.” She scoffs, tired. “I’m the only one left in the office, but it’s oddly calming.”

“Syran,” Ilya deadpans, tone almost scary.

“Ye– yeah?” She asks, wondering where this is going.

“I strongly insist you stop,” he warns, but she can tell there’s no real intention behind it. “You have to rest.”

She laughs. “Is that a threat?”

“Yes. Don’t make me use my mean doctor voice.”

She can’t help but laugh again. “Oh, I should listen, then.”

“Yes,” He says, but then his tone suddenly gets lighter. “Please?”

His plea almost gets to her. She really appreciates his concern, and– god. Honestly, she wishes he was with her right now. There’s no point in denying it.

Maybe it is a crush.

“I will, I will. Just have to finish one more thing and then I’ll go home.”

“Good. You better.” He reprimands. Syran smiles.

“I promise, I’ll send you a picture of Persie when I get there, if that will make you believe me,” she teases.

“Well, I will accept cat pictures anytime of the day, so,” he plays along, solemnly. “But– actually, huh. Have you eaten yet?”

Syran fiddles with a pencil, thinking when’s the last time she ate. “Not really, some colleagues asked me to go for drinks, but I’m not feeling it. Might just go to bed, to be honest. Too lazy to eat.”

“Well, too bad, guess I’ll have to throw away this extra chinese food I bought.”

“Uhhh. What?”

Oh god, if he really means what she thinks he means she might just hide under her desk and never crawl out.

Ilya laughs, but sounds nervous, “I called because. Well– I was going to check up on you and then I remembered you like chinese food, so I thought– you know, I– I thought I’d bring you some, figured you needed the extra care. Uh– since you’ve been having a hard time and all.”

Syran is going to die, right now this instant, she is going to plummet into the ground, twenty floors below, and bury herself under the pavement. Her cheeks are going wild.

She genuinely doesn’t know what to say except that if she could she’d materialise next to him right now, but at the same time she wants to run away and never see anyone ever again. She’s had crushes before, sure, but with Ilya it’s like– one moment she thinks she can handle it, and the next it just bursts inside her. Curse him and his kindness, and compassion, and dorky jokes, and handsome face.

Fuck.

“Uh. That is if that’s okay. Is that okay? I don’t want to overstep, I just thought–”

She should be dead right now.

“No, that’s okay! That’s completely fine, I actually– uh. I really appreciate it.”

Stars, the amount of times this happens. The number of times Ilya does or says something nice and completely unexpected and she’s so floored she takes ages to reply. And then, being the considerate person he is, he doubts himself and Syran wants to scream even more. Fuck, if this was Asra, or Pasha, or literally anyone else, it would be okay. It would be normal. She’d appreciate it, and hang out with them, and get distracted, and be fine. And it would all be okay.

But it’s Ilya, so her brain has to speed up and go in overload and overthink everything. Of course, it does.

“Oh, okay. Uh. Nice. So, I could come and pick you up? At work, that is. If you want.”

Right, because there’s nothing healthier for her heart right now than to be in a car with Ilya, in close proximity with Ilya, go home with Ilya, and eat chinese food with Ilya. Maybe she already died. Maybe this is some twisted version of purgatory. Either way, her heart is about to stop.

“Sure– thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Good, because I’m already, like, ten minutes away,” he chuckles.

Yeah, no, she’s done for.

🂱

Surprisingly, the car ride is a lot easier on her heart than Syran thought it was going to be.

After the initial awkwardness and small talk, she and Ilya just find themselves humming along to a song on the radio, which soon turns into a full-blown karaoke session. And just like that, it’s fine. Syran munches on a few spring rolls on the way because her stomach rumbled so loud that Ilya practically threatened to stop the car and wait unless she ate something right away.

Ilya pulls into her apartment complex’s driveway as they’re still laughing about some dumb joke he made about oranges. They’re still happily chatting in the elevator as they hold way too much chinese food in their hands. They’re still smiling when they walk into Syran’s apartment and Persephone welcomes them with insistent meows, demanding pets and attention. They share simple words and comfortable silence as they set everything on the table, stomachs ready to eat.

It’s all okay. It’s all fine.

It’s nice and smooth, and yes her chest is pounding and she can’t stop thinking about every little thing he does, but it’s fine. Spending time with Ilya feels like the world has stopped, she decides. Ilya and his deep, throaty laugh that goes five pitches higher whenever he finds something really funny for too long. Ilya and his hands, slender and careful, sure like death and taxes, he said once. Ilya and his eyes, always picking up on everything, but never revealing much. Ilya and his awkwardness whenever he feels too shy, Ilya and the way he recovers from that even though everyone can read through his bravado. Ilya and his all-encompassing hugs, Ilya and his thoughtful words, Ilya and his jokes, Ilya and his smile. Just– Ilya. Ilya. Ilya.

His name sounds like a song.

Everything is him and her sitting at the table, eating after a long day, soft music in the background, sun long gone, and nothing else matters.

Nothing else matters.

“That’s ridiculous! How can anyone say that?” Syran laughs before biting into the last of her dumplings. “Seriously, you’d think in this time and age people would know better than to make a sexist joke.”

Ilya joins her in the laugh, “I know, right? Like, the whole class went dead silent and didn’t laugh, then when I asked to explain it he was all like. Oh, I mean– I guess– I uh, well– maybe it was a little insensitive.” Ilya lowers his pitch and tries on a creaky voice, clearly imitating his professor.

It makes Syran snort and she has to cover her mouth in fear of spitting her food out.

“That’s where it got hilarious though, he just got all red either from anger or embarrassment, I’m not sure.” Ilya shakes his head, smile lingering on his face as he searches for a piece of meat in his noodles.

When the food is all done and cleaned up, leftovers neatly packed on the counter, Syran makes some tea for the both of them. It’s getting a little late and she stifles a yawn as she brings the mug to Ilya, back to sitting at the table.

Ilya notices, because of course he does.

“Maybe I should go, it was a long day for you.”

Syran shakes her head, maybe a little too vehemently. “I don’t mind! At least finish the tea. I sleep badly anyway.”

He raises an eyebrow at her, “That doesn’t convince me more, Elkas.”

“Seriously, it’s fine.” Syran laughs once more, then takes a sip from her mug. She’s grateful he doesn’t ask about her insomnia, though, she’s not sure she wants to think about that right now. When she glances back at Ilya, he’s looking at her with an odd glint in his eyes.

“What?” Syran asks.

He opens and closes his mouth, like he’s pondering whether to say something or not.

“Nothing, I just–” He frowns a little at her, like he’s trying to decipher her features. “Ah, it’s stupid, nevermind.” He shakes his head. But Syran won’t let go that easily.

“Ok, now you have to tell me,” she teases.

Ilya looks down at his mug like if he stares at it long enough he will be able to hide in it.

“I just– I haven’t felt this calm in a while,” He smiles, still without meeting her eyes. For a second, she feels like he read her mind. “Truth is, I’ve been struggling to keep up in university, mostly whenever we do sessions in the hospital. I always feel like I need to go faster, do more, be more. Like– like I’m never achieving enough. ” His brows knit and Syran’s heart aches a little.

She knows that feeling too well. While her life isn’t at its worst at all right now, she’d be lying if she said there aren’t many moments like that still. That there haven’t been any moments like that ever. She’s experienced most of them back in her university years, getting her degree was so stressful that she can’t even remember how many times she found herself in her room, panicking, crying, trying to make sense of it all. Trying to figure out where she was going wrong. Where she was going wrong with her relationship, where she was going wrong with her life. Never enough.

Sometimes work feels like that too and it brings back ugly feelings.

“But right now I don’t feel that, it’s like I can breathe a little, like–” Ilya continues, finally looking at her– she can tell he’s blushing. Fuck, god, she’s definitely blushing too. He chuckles nervously. “It’s nice. To be here, like this. With you.”

She’s going to die. She’s definitely about to die. She’s dead and this is nowhere in hell or heaven or in-between, this is just Ilya sitting in the kitchen with her, like frozen in a picture.

She can only hear the thrum of her heart, she can only see Ilya’s eyes, she can only feel the warmth of his body on the other chair, so close to her, yet so far apart. She manages to come to her senses enough to gather a reply.

“Yeah,” she swallows, nodding, as if that will bring her back to the ground. It doesn’t. “Me too. I– I get how you feel. It’s frustrating when the world makes you feel– so small.” She looks at the table, the smooth texture of what coated it once now long gone, leaving rough wood behind, unpolished, consumed in different spots. She feels like that, sometimes. Rough at the edges, full of splinters, and been through so much all she is now is exposed skin. Doing her best to hold it together.

She looks up at Ilya, ribcage too small for everything she’s feeling. “But. Yeah, this is nice. To be here. With you.”

“Good to know,” Ilya smiles. It’s small, but slowly gets bigger. She can’t look away from him, she probably has to, or else she will explode. It’s like he’s inching closer. Is he inching closer? Is it a trick of the light?

No, it isn’t because he definitely is. This is happening. It’s happening and Syran is going to let it happen. She doesn’t know what else to do, she doesn’t want to do anything else.

There’s only Ilya, Ilya and his lips, Ilya and his hand crawling up the back of her chair, Ilya getting so, so close. There’s only him, and her, and nothing else.

It’s just Ilya, beautiful, smart, charming Ilya.

His name sounds like the waves.

They’re about to kiss. And Syran is going to let it happen.

Or maybe not.

The sound of the door unlocking open breaks whatever spell they were under. Ilya shoots back, sitting upright in his chair, eyes wide and downcast like he wants to crawl under the table from the scare. Syran stares at him for a second more, dazed.

“Honey, I’m home!” Ran’s voice echoes through the room. Syran turns towards the entrance, her friend’s eyes tired but an unmistakable grin on her face. “Oh– hello!” She gapes for a second when she notices Ilya sitting next to Syran.

“Hello, Ran,” he waves. Ran’s eyes dart between the two of them, but before she can say anything else, Syran shoots up and runs to hug her.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I forgot you were coming back earlier!” Syran pulls away, holding her shoulders, genuinely happy to see her friend again. “How was the journey? Your parents okay? Are you hungry? There’s some leftovers–”

“Hey, hey, calm down!” Ran laughs. “Let me take my jacket off first!”

It’s weird, but the air diffuses a little when they talk a bit about Ran’s trip, just small, idle chatter. Ilya asks some questions, genuinely interested as he finishes his tea– almost chugs it, really. Then Ran excuses herself to go take a shower because she’s beat.

Syran knows she did that mostly to leave the two of them alone to say goodbye; Syran dreads the conversation she knows will follow later with her. In the meantime, though, all she can think of is how awkwardly Ilya stands next to her, all nerves, shoulders hunched. She can’t help but notice how much further apart they are now, how different the air feels. Something stings in Syran’s chest. She wonders if that split moment between them was even real. Maybe she imagined it.

Maybe they were never going to kiss.

God, the thought of that. Of kissing Ilya. She’s had it before, but. Now it feels so incredibly real and so incredibly farfetched at the same time.

“I– uh. Thank you for having me over,” he mutters, polite smile on his face.

“Sure, no problem. Thank you for rescuing me from work.” She tries, her mouth running before her brain can. That’s a stupid thing to say.

Ilya laughs, it’s still nervous, but not as much as before, “Anytime.”

Her brain can’t help but remember.

Anytime, for you.

Ilya leaves her with a wave, his distinct perfume made of musk and clean linen whooshing after him.

Syran feels like he took something of hers with him, too.

🂱

She is on her laptop when Ran knocks on her bedroom door. When Syran allows her in, Ran is wearing her cosiest pyjama and her hair is still damp from the shower.

“Feeling better?” Syran smiles, putting aside her laptop as Ran sits on the side of the bed. Persephone makes her way to her with a small meow.

“Much better, I was sore all over,” She sighs. “Man, a week helping my parents with the farm and my body is already done with it. I don’t know how they do it.”

“Remember that one summer we tried to trim your horses’ hooves?” Syran laughs.

Ran joins her, wide eyes in realisation. “Oh my god, yeah! What were we, fifteen? What a mess.”

“Yeah, I still have nightmares about that.”

“Oh, come on, Babette was just scared.”

“Yeah, and she scared me in return.”

Ran laughs again, Syran smiles with a shake of her head, remembering their time as unruly teenagers. When the mood calms down, Ran turns to her with raised eyebrows.

“So?”

“So?” Syran echoes.

“Well. Ilya was here.”

Oh fuck.

Okay, Syran should have seen this coming, really, given how and when she came in, but. Ugh. She tries not to give herself away. “Yes, and?”

“Well, you tell me.” Ran smirks.

“Oh god, not you too.” Syran buries her face in her hands.

Ran huffs a laugh, clearly way too amused. “What do you mean not me too?”

“I already have Asra and Pasha on my case, so before you ask– no, there’s nothing between us, no, there won’t be anything, no, I do want to kiss him.” Syran looks up from her hands and almost yells, eyes wide and blood rushing up to her cheeks. “I MEAN I DON’T. I DON’T WANT TO KISS HIM.”

“Hm.”

She groans, resigned to Ran’s enquiring stare. “It’s just– ugh, fuck. I just. I don’t know. You know? ”

“Oh boy, you're really gone huh?”

“Please don’t tell the others.” Syran sighs.

“From what you tell me I don’t really have to.”

“Yeah, but– ugh.” Syran shakes her head. “I feel so pathetic, he’s– he’s got so much going on for him, and like, it’s weird, right? Isn’t it weird?”

“Why would it be?” Ran asks, brow knotted.

“I don’t know– like. He’s part of the group and all. We’re all friends and I feel– I feel like this shouldn’t happen.” She groans again, head thrown back to her headboard.

“Syran.” Ran’s tone is a lot more serious now.

“Mh?” Syran asks without moving her head.

“Stop blaming yourself for having feelings. Not everyone is like Diana. Ilya has done nothing but care for you. He literally took care of you when you got hurt.”

At that, Syran’s eyes go wide. She didn’t think Ran was going to bring her up. Diana was– in a lot of ways, she was a mistake. They started dating halfway through her second year of university, and it was all fine at first. They really liked each other. Then, Syran’s insecurities (courtesy of her mother) started to show themselves more and more and Diana– didn’t take that so well. She started making Syran feel bad for everything, started blaming her for not being able to leave the house sometimes, started demanding more and more. Syran couldn’t give that to her. Not in the state she was.

Syran hasn’t been able to open up to someone in that way since. To trust her gut in the same way when it comes to romantic feelings. And although she knows Ilya is nothing like that– what if she screws it all up anyway?

Anxiety is starting to well up inside her, threatening to burst out. “Yeah, but. But what if– I don’t know. What if he’s just, you know. Acting like a friend. Because, I mean, he is, we’re friends and– that’s what friends do, right? And what if I open up like that again and. You know.” She looks back at her friend and she’s sure that Ran knows exactly what’s going through her head right now.

“Syran, I get it. And yes, you’re friends, but– you’re friends with everyone else too, right? And everyone has been lovely and understanding and they’ve known you for years, longer than Diana ever has. We all love you and understand you because we’re mature and not needy assholes.”

Syran laughs at that, then finds herself sniffing. God, was she about to cry over this?

Ran continues. “Listen, sometimes he looks at you like– I don’t know, like you’re the only person in the room. I’ve never seen Diana look at you like that. Or anyone else you’ve dated.” Ran smiles fondly. “The only reason everyone’s on your case is because you’ve been too blind to see it all this time.”

Syran’s blood suddenly rushes up, everywhere, head to toe. “Wh– all this time? What do you mean? Ran, I genuinely think he’s just being nice. And– and my feelings. I don’t want to do anything about them– I’m not even sure I understand them, I–”

“Babe, I love you, but–” Ran reaches out to put a hand on Syran’s leg, covered by the duvet. “You’re either incredibly dense, or incredibly in denial. You guys were literally about to kiss before I came in.”

“We–we weren’t!” Syran’s eyes get even wider, heart racing just at the thought of everything that could have happened. “Okay, maybe we were. I’m honestly not sure. It felt like– like everything was in slow motion.”

Ran smiles, but this time it’s understanding. “I say you shouldn’t hold yourself back anymore.”

Yeah, like that’s easy. Just before she falls asleep that night, her phone vibrates with a text. Ilya’s name lights up the screen and Syran’s heart swells in return.

From: dr. devowreck

hey, just wanted to thank you for tonight. I enjoyed it. I hope you’re doing well. I mean, like, with your headache and all. And work And in general i guess Uh, okay, goodnight, take care

Syran starts smirking at his words, but then embarrassment flushes her and she finds herself staring at the screen, brain empty of an answer, with no idea how to take that in.

To: dr. devowreck

Ah, it’s no biggie, the food was good And the company too i guess ahah Anyway, yeah, thank you. goodnight!

No one mentions anything. It ends there. Maybe they weren’t about to kiss. Or maybe he realised that it shouldn’t have happened at all and it’s sparing her the embarrassment of turning her down by pretending nothing happened.

Maybe– maybe she’s a fucking mess.

#an writes #fic writing #the arcana fic #julian devorak #portia devorak #syran elkas #julianxapprentice #julianxsyran #ilya devorak #the arcana apprentice #the arcana game #asra alnazar #muriel the arcana #just one more chapter to go #syran is a mess #sorry #part 4 #hurt/comfort

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thegreatestofheck · 4 years

Text

The Girl with No Heartbeat ⊰JJ Maybank⊱

(gif not mine. All credit to siren!)

Find the other parts here!

Word Count - 5362 Warnings - Mild swearing Synopsis - After a near death experience, JJ is saved by a girl in the water. When he and the Pogues find her washed ashore the next day, they are more than surprised to discover that she isn’t your everyday girl. A/N - I’m pausing your daily uploads of Ocean and Alcohol for this. It’s mostly based off of that one quote by John B in episode one where he says something about JJ going after any girl with a heartbeat, so here’s him going after a girl without one. Also, I wanted to write a mermaid AU, so. Let me know if you want to see more of it!

The first wave crashed into JJ with a startling force. The second snapped the tether keeping him attached to his surfboard. He tumbled under the water, the current pulling him down and out deeper into the ocean. All he could think of as the water pounded against him, keeping him down, was that he was going to drown and no one would know what had happened to him. He tried to kick his way to the surface, but by the time the waves stopped beating down on him, he wasn’t sure which way was up. Suspended in the open ocean, his mind starting to dull as his lungs screamed, JJ remarked to himself how peaceful it all really seemed. He could barely hear the waves up above, as the ocean continued its usual pattern. His presence didn’t disturb anything in the end. The waves still crashed against the shore, the wind still blew through the trees. Everything was at ease in the face of his death. So he thought. He was seconds away from opening his mouth, letting the water flood into his lungs. There was no point in prolonging what he already knew was coming. He knew this day was coming, but now that it was here, he wasn’t sure he was ready to die. There was someone else in the water who agreed with him. Just before JJ gave in, a girl swam up to him. Her hair was dark as the night, billowing out around her. JJ tilted his head to the side at the sight of her. He was sure he had never seen anyone so beautiful before. Hold on to me. A girl’s voice whispered in his head. He heard it clear as day, but the girl in front of him wasn’t moving her mouth. She grabbed him around the waist, tucking her arms under his and took off toward the surface. JJ had never moved so quickly through the water in his life. He knew that there were people who could swim quickly, but to swim this fast carrying another person, that should be impossible. He saw the light from the surface approaching and when he glanced down to the girl’s face, he saw something in her eyes that looked like...grief. As they were nearing, he felt the girl push harder, her face set in stone. When they finally broke through the surface, it was like shattering through glass. JJ felt his body leave the water and then slam against the shore, coughing and spluttering water out of his lungs. He flipped himself onto his back, waves lapping at his feet. He looked back to the water, which was now even wilder than before. If the girl was with him when they left the water, she should be somewhere. But he was the only one on the beach and the tide was rising steadily. He lay there for a few more minutes, waiting to see if her body washed up on the shore. But there was nothing. She was gone. *** “You’re crazy,” Pope said the next morning as he walked beside JJ on the very same beach. “I’m telling you, the girl saved my life,” JJ told him. “You believe me, right Kie?” Kie turned around, walking farther ahead with John B. She smiled at JJ and nodded. “Course I believe you.”

“What did she look like again?” John B asked from the front. “Well,” JJ said, rubbing the back of his next. “She had, like, hair? And this face, I mean, wow.”

“Hair...and a face,” Pope said with an “over-it” kind of expression. “Great.” “I didn’t really have the time to check her out since I was, I dunno, dying!” “You really can’t remember anything, bro?” JJ shook his head. “Real helpful, JJ,” John B said, running a hand through his hair. “Give me a break!”

“Guys,” Kie called, yards ahead of them. “It’s not like we had anything else important to do today,” JJ grumbled, kicking a piece of driftwood. “My dad wanted help today and now I gotta spend all of tomorrow doing it because we’re chasing after a hallucination!” “Guys!” Kie cried out before JJ could respond. “I found something.” JJ ran over to where Kie was, pointing away from them. At first, it was nearly impossible to see, but as the wind shifted, they could all see what looked like fingers buried in the sand. “Oh my God,” John B breathed. JJ took off toward the body, Kie right on his tail. When they got to the body, it was half-buried in the sand. It was obvious from what little of the body that peaked out through the sand that it was a girl buried there. All four of them dropped to their knees, trying to dig her out of the sand. Once they had her half unburied, Kie yelled at them to stop. “What, Kie?” JJ asked, continuing to scoop sand away from her legs. Kie grabbed his wrist, stopping him from going any further. “She doesn’t have any clothes on, JJ,” Kie said. “So?” JJ shook his head as John B and Pope stood slowly. “How would you like it if you washed up on shore naked and woke up to a group of girls staring down at you?” JJ considered it for a second, tilting his head to the side. Kie glared at him and swatted at his hand. “I’ll finish unburying her. Just, give me your sweaters of something,” Kie said. JJ huffed and stood, walking over to where Pope and John B had turned their backs. All three of them pulled off their sweaters and tossed them backward toward Kie. She got the girl fully out of the sand, rolling her onto her back before laying the sweaters over her. “Okay,” Kie said, kneeling beside her. JJ spun around and looked at the girl. He recognized the hair first, black as the night. Her eyes were closed, so he couldn’t tell if it was the same startling green, but from the rest of her face, he knew it had to be her. “That’s her, yeah. That’s the girl that saved my life,” JJ said, looking up at Pope and John B. Pope knelt down beside her, pressing his fingers to her neck. “What are you doing?” John B asked, standing behind Pope. “Checking for a pulse.” “JJ,” Kie said, pushing herself to her feet. “If this is the girl that saved you then she’s been out here since last night.” “What are you saying?” “There’s no pulse,” Pope said with a sigh before Kie could say anything else. Pope dropped his hand back into the sand, looking up at JJ. “What?” Kie and JJ turned back to the girl, looking down at her. “There has to be,” JJ said, locking his hands behind his head. This girl did not die for him. She couldn’t have. “You want to come down here and check yourself?” Pope snapped. “Look, man, I’m sorry-” “What the….” John B kneeled down slowly, looking at her neck. “What is it, John B?” Kie asked. “Her neck.” “What is that?” “There’s no way.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” “Are those...gills?” Once the word was actually said, Pope stood up and backed away, eyes wide. “No way. That impossible!” “You look at her neck and tell me those aren’t gills, Pope.” “It’s scientifically impossible,” Pope said, shaking his head, hands tense. “Guys, look,” Kie said, pointing at her neck. As they all watched, horrified, as the gills on the girl’s neck began to close, starting to look more and more like normal skin with every second. “What the actual hell?” “If her body is doing that then she must still be alive!” JJ said. “You don’t know that,” Pope said, still standing a few feet away, arms crossed. “We can’t just do nothing,” JJ said. “For once, JJ’s right,” Kie said, nodding her head slowly.

“Thank you, Kie!” JJ put his hands on his hips. “What can we possibly do to help her...it...her,” John B said, glancing between JJ and Kie and the girl. “We could give her mouth to mouth,” JJ suggested. Kie scowled up at him. “What? I’m serious.” “That might work,” Pope said, wagging a finger and stepping closer again. “I mean, if she’s used to breathing underwater with gills, then she’ll need help breathing air.” “So, who gives her mouth to mouth?” John B asked. “I should do it,” Pope said, raising a hand. “I know what I’m doing.” “No way, dude!” JJ protested. “She saved my life, now I’m going to save hers.” “No one wants to wake up from being unconscious and see your face, JJ. It should be me,” John B said, crossing his arms. “Bullsh-” Kie rolled her eyes, ignoring the boys as they argued over who was going to give the pretty fish-girl mouth to mouth. Kie had CPR training, she was probably the only one who actually know what she was doing. Without alerting the boys, Kie pinched the girl’s nose, tilted her head back, and put her mouth against the girl’s lips. She let out deep breaths, silently begging the girl’s body to take them. If JJ was right and this girl had saved his life, Kie knew he would never forgive himself if she died. Kie wasn’t going to let that happen. The girl’s eyes snapped open first. Then she gasped in a deep breath, sitting up so suddenly that Kie shrieked and fell backward. All three of the boys turned around, startled by the gasp and Kie’s scream. The girl gasped, sucking in shallow breaths. Her eyes were wide as her chest heaved, fists curling around the sand. The Pogues stared at her, none of them moving as she sat there, heaving. Slowly, Kie moved forward. She didn’t want to terrify the girl, but Kie knew that she would want to cover up before she exposed herself to the boys. JJ looked like he was going to step forward, but when Kie sent him a sharp look, he decided against it. The girl pulled her legs up to her chest, shivering against the cold morning air. All three of the boys’ sweaters had fallen off when she sat up, laying now by her feet. Kie grabbed one, JJ’s, and inched it closer to the girl, holding it out for her to take. When the sweater was by her knee, the girl finally looked up. The intensity of her sea-green eyes sent a chill down Kie’s spine, but she didn’t move. The girl slowly untensed her hand, lifting it from the soft sand to take the sweater from Kie’s hand.

No one breathed. The boys watched from behind as the girl’s breathing started to slow, Kie sitting, nearly unmoving, just inches away from the strange girl. Once the girl pulled the sweater over her head, Kie sent another look toward the boys, giving them permission to move once again. “My name is Kiara.” Kie spoke gently, slowly, unsure if the girl even spoke English. “Do you understand English.”

The girl nodded her head once, trembling still. Kie smiled at her.

“Okay. What’s your name?” The girl looked down, giving her head a short shake.

“You don’t know?” Another shake. “That’s alright.” “We should get her somewhere warm,” Pope said, startling the girl again. She turned around suddenly, backing away from the boys, her breathing speeding up once again. “You’re alright,” Kie said, hands out to stop her from backing into the ocean. “These are my friends.” The girl looked at each of the boys in turn. First Pope, who had spoken. He looked afraid, like the basis of everything he knew had just been shattered out from underneath him. The girl understood how he felt. She looked at the second boy, John B. He didn’t look afraid. Far from it. If anything, she thought he might want to dissect her, to figure out how she worked and what she was doing here. He looked at her and saw a mystery that he wanted to solve. But then she saw the last boy. His face was instantly familiar. She remembered seeing him floating there in the water, his eyes wide and unafraid. She could hear the ocean call from inside of him, the same call that pulled her to the ocean long ago. At the sight of his face, a smile tugged at the girl’s lips. “It’s you,” she breathed, her voice raspy from years of unuse. “You’re the boy in the water.” And then she passed out.

***

“She is hot thought.” “God, JJ!” Kie dropped her head into her hands. “This is the first known interaction between a hominid-fish species and humankind and the first thing you do is check her out?” Pope sounded appalled, but he wasn’t really surprised. It was JJ after all. The girl lay in the back of their van, her head resting in Kie’s lap. She was curled up in JJ’s sweater with another blanket draped over her. Still, she shivered while she slept. “Should we tell someone we found her?” John B asked. “I mean, someone could be missing her.”

“What would we say?” Pope asked, turning to John B from the front seat. “‘Oh, hey, we found this girl on the beach. Do you know anyone that might possibly be missing their fish-girl?’” “Besides,” JJ added, rolling a blunt mindlessly between his fingers. “We talk about her to anyone, next thing you know, the suits are pulling up and taking her away to experiment on her or whatever.” “She’s safer with us,” Kie agreed, gently running her fingers through the girl’s soaking wet hair. “Where can we take her?” Pope asked. “My house,” John B said. “Why your house?” JJ asked, scowling. “Because you barely live at your own house and Pope and Kie have actual parents who would probably turn her in if we brought her there. My house is pretty much the safest place for her.” “What, so you can have her around all the time? I don’t think so,” JJ laughed. “Dude,” John B looked at JJ in the rearview mirror. “I just want her to be safe is all.”

They pulled up to John B’s house, moving as quietly as they could, but nothing about any of the boys was very quiet ever. JJ opened the side door and Kie helped him get his arms underneath the girl. He pulled her out of the van as Kie made sure that the blanket was still wrapped around her. JJ carried her toward the house while Pope and John B attempted to throw as many things into hiding places as they could. “Put her on my bed,” John B said, pushing open his bedroom door. JJ complied without complaining, setting her down on the bed. “Keep the blanket over her,” Kie said from the doorway. They pulled the blankets on John B’s bed over her. She continued to shiver violently. “We need more blankets,” Pope said, running back to the front room to grab the blankets off of the futon that JJ usually slept on. He threw them on top of her, tucking them underneath her as best as he could. They all watched her, but she didn’t stop shaking. “It’s not helping,” John B said. Kie stammered for a bit, pressing her fingers against her temple. “Uh, yeah, John B go boil some water and Pope, find a balloon or something. If we can get heat in by her feet it might help.” John B and Pope rushed off to do as Kie told them. JJ stood by the bed, his mind running a mile a minute. Here was the girl who had risked so much for him, dying from the cold. He remembered the look on her face as she pulled him to the surface, the look of sadness, sorrow. He wondered what she had left behind to save his life. JJ wasn’t going to let this girl die. Not after what she did.

He threw the blankets back and crawled into the bed beside her. “What are you doing?” Kie asked, moving to shove JJ out of the bed. “Body heat,” he said. “We’ll share it. You too.” Kie raised her eyebrow at him, but she knew he was right. The shared body heat might just keep her alive. Kie slid into the bed on the other side of the girl. With the girl sandwiched between Kie and JJ, they felt her shivering slowly start to fade. Kie watched JJ grab the girl’s hand underneath the blanket. “She’s so cold,” JJ said, his voice quiet as if he was afraid to wake her up.

“If she really is a fish person,” Kie said and then cleared her throat. “I imagine going from the water to the air was a huge shock to her system.” JJ nodded his head, curling an arm around the girl’s waist. Pope and John B came running in with a balloon full of hot water. “What-uh,” John B said. “What’s going on here?” “Body heat,” JJ and Kie both said at the same time.

“Put the balloon under the blanket near her feet,” Kie said. “Then find a spot and get your asses under this blanket.” “We won’t all fit on the bed,” John B said as Pope did what Kie told him to. “Do you want her to die?” John B shook his head quickly. “Then get under the damn blankets.” It was a tight squeeze to get everyone under the blankets and onto the bed, but they somehow managed it. Kie wasn’t really sure if two extra bodies were helping any, but she could feel the girl start to shake less and less. It took almost an hour for her shaking to go away completely. No one spoke the entire time, each of their hearts pounding with worry. If she died, then there would be a lot of explaining to do. Besides, she had saved JJ, which meant they all owed it to her to do everything they could to save her in return. Once Kie was convinced that the girl was no longer trembling, she tapped Pope on the arm.

“I think she’s okay,” Kie whispered. Pope let out a quiet groan. Kie rolled her eyes. Had he really fallen asleep? “Pope?” Pope groaned again but rolled off the bed, allowing Kie to get up. When she walked around the other side of the bed, John B was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He made eye contact with Kie and she gave her head a short nod. He sat up slow and moved his legs off the bed. “JJ,” Pope whispered, but JJ didn’t stir. “JJ!” “I think he’s asleep,” John B said. He was right. JJ breathed softly, his arm dangled over the girl’s waist. Even with three fewer bodies, the girl still remained warm. “We should go,” Kie said. “Try and figure out what we’re going to do about her.” “What about JJ?” Pope asked. Kie looked back to the bed. “Let him sleep.”

*** The girl woke up first. Her eyelids felt heavy, but she peeled them open anyway. The room she was in was unfamiliar to her. She lay in a bed…. A bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept in a bed. So, saving the boy from the ocean hadn’t been a dream. She had made the decision. She left her brothers and sisters under the ocean and now she was stuck on land until she died. There was no going back for her. A tear rolled from her eye, running down the bridge of her nose and dropping onto the sheets beneath her. She tried to remember the sound of Ira’s voice, her favorite sister. Ira was the prettiest of all of her sisters and because of that, she had the most kills. When the girl had first joined their family, Ira took her in, showed her the ropes. The girl would miss her sister, but for all her beauty and kindness and talent, Ira was still a murderer, like the rest of them. And the girl couldn’t take it anymore. She had every intention of leaving the ocean for land, but she didn’t have the means to do it until she saw the boy floating in the water. He was going to die, she couldn’t leave him. And she couldn’t save him without leaving the water. By saving him, she knew what she was leaving behind. Her mind was running through her time beneath the surface, trying to hold onto the little things she loved about all of her brothers and sisters. Lost somewhere in her memories, she felt someone shift beside her. The girl startled, sitting up quickly. She hadn’t realized that she was in bed with someone else. She tried to think back to what she could remember after she left the ocean. There was nothingness for a long while, just warmth. And then there was a girl and the boys on the beach. And then it was cold...so unbearably cold. That was it. She couldn’t remember anything else. When she looked over, there was a boy beside her. He was asleep on his stomach, his hands underneath the pillow. She couldn’t see his face because it was shielded by his long, blonde hair. The girl tilted her head to the side and leaned toward him to brush the hair from his eyes. As soon as her fingers grazed his skin, his eyes shot open. He sat up almost as quickly as she had, his arm covering his head. “No!” He called out, palms facing out toward her. “I’m...I’m sorry,” the girl said, voice still weak. “I will not harm you.”

Slowly, the boy lowered his arms, eyes fixed on her. He dropped his hands suddenly into his lap, the look of fear on his face turning into a smile. “Hey!” He said. With his hair out of the way and his hands no longer shielding his face, the girl finally recognized him as the boy in the water. “It’s you,” she said again, the same smile pulling at her lips again. He had survived. “JJ,” he said, offering out his hand. The girl shook it with a smile. When she didn’t say anything, JJ narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. “What’s your name?” The girl shrugged her shoulders. “I need to pick a new one,” she said as if everyone just randomly picked new names every now and again. JJ’s scowls deepened and he moved off the bed, standing by the door. “Hang on, let me get my friends,” JJ said. He stood and the girl nodded her head slowly, pulling her hands into the sweater she still wore. “She’s awake!” It took only a few seconds for the three others she remembered from the beach to flood into the room. The one who looked afraid, the one who wanted to solve the mystery, and the girl who saved her. “Hello,” she said to them all, smiling. “Damn,” the fearful one said. Pope, she remembered his name was. “She is beautiful.” The girl felt her cheeks heaten as she looked at her hands. “What happened to not hitting on her?” The girl, Kiara, seethed at Pope, slapping his arm with the back of her hand. Turning her attention back to the girl, Kiara lowered herself onto the edge of John B’s bed. “How are you doing?” The girl smiled and nodded her head. “I appreciate all that you have done for me,” she said. “Is there something we can call you?” Kiara asked. The girl shook her head. “I have had two names in two different lives. But now I am on my third and final life so I need a new name.”

Pope sighed and put his head in his hands. There was that fear again. The girl knew that her existence did nothing but shatter his version of reality. The more she spoke, the more she would continue to do that. “What do you mean?” Kiara asked, her voice gentle. “I lived a human life long ago. They called me Anthea then. Anthea Steelheart. And then I became one with the sea and I joined my brothers and sisters. There they called me Apa. Now I have left the sea, never to return, and I must take a new name.” “We...we’ve never met someone from the sea before,” Kiara said, confusion evident in her voice. “Will you explain how it works?” The boys stood in confusion; JJ with his arms crossed, Pope with his eyebrows pinched together, and John B with his eyes narrowed in thought. The girl smiled and nodded her head. When she opened her mouth, her story began.

***

Anthea Steelheart was born to Captain Amarylis Briarheart and her husband, Cael Stoneheart, aboard their ship, The Iron Anchor. She grew up among the scum of the earth, the scallywags and the heathens, the lords of the sea. They were her family and she would do anything for them. She got her last name by the age of 13, when she ran a man through with a sword. She carried the name ‘Heart’ from birth, but when she killed the man who was threatening the life of the cook with no hesitation, her parents gave her last name the prefix “Steel”. She worked alongside her mother and father, stealing cargo from European ships, cargo that was actually people.

They were boarded one day by a British ship in retribution for stealing the passengers from one of their own. The Iron Anchor was overrun by British soldiers looking for punishment. Anthea watched the Commander of the British ship kill her father, watched as he went for her mother. There was no way Anthea was going to watch her mother die. So she ran at the British soldier, sword ready. The fight didn’t last long before she had his sword in her belly. She was dying. She was going to die. But she wasn’t going to die without taking the man who killed her father with her. She hooked her arm around his, stabbing her own sword through his stomach, pulling them toward the edge of the ship. She heard her mother scream, heard the British calling for their commander. But it was too late. The two of them tumbled overboard and into the deep ocean. Down, down, down they fell into the blue. Anthea watched the life drain from the Commander’s eyes. She could see her own blood swirling around her, light draining from her vision. She didn’t want to die, she didn’t want her life to end here. That’s when she saw it, the face in the water. It wasn’t the face of one of the men thrown overboard. It was a woman with a face like an angel. She approached Anthea, swimming up to her effortlessly. Do you want to live? Her sing-song voice whispered in Anthea’s head. Anthea nodded as best she could. The woman took her by the hand dragging her deeper and deeper into the water until there was only darkness.

When she awoke, all she felt was numb. She didn’t realize that she would spend the rest of eternity feeling nothing; no cold, no warmth, no pain. Even when she thought of losing her father, of never seeing her mother again, didn’t bring her pain. She never once cried about it. They called her Apa. She was one of their best. With eyes like the sea itself and hair black as night, there were few who could resist her. She killed to feed herself and her family and it ate away at her day after day. Anthea knew the cost of returning to the surface. Once again live a mortal life. Never set foot in the sea again upon pain of death. Never see your brothers or sisters again. She knew the price and she took it anyway.

***

“You left your...family for me?” JJ asked once she finished. The girl nodded her head a few times, twisting the blankets in her hands. “I suppose so,” she said. “She has a higher body count than you do, JJ,” John B said, laughing at his own joke. Kiara threatened to kill him with her eyes. “We have to come up with a name for you,” Pope said as Kiara and John B argued about whether or not it was appropriate to joke about killing people and having sex. JJ was silent. “I would love a name,” the girl said. “Should we stick with ‘A’ names? I mean you’ve got Anthea, Apa….” Pope offered, sitting beside the girl. She tapped her chin with her finger. “We could, but there are so many letters in the alphabet to chose from,” the girl said. Pope could see her mind whirring with possibilities. There were a million names in the world, but which would work for her? “We could go simple,” John B said. “Something like...Sarah!” “No,” Kiara said instantly, her voice harsh. “That’s a stupid name. What about Emma?” The girl tested out on herself for a moment. Emma. Emma. Eventually, she shook her head. “What about something Greek, like Amphitrite?” “That’s a dumb, Pope,” John B said. “No one would know how to pronounce it.” “Okay, so Athena,” Pope offered. “She’s a boss ass bitch who doesn’t take shit from anyone.” The girl’s eyes widened, a smile pulling up her lips. “You have the mouth of a sailor, Pope,” she said as she leaned forward. “My parents expected me to keep my mouth clean, but I’ll tell you a secret. Around the other sailors, I had the worst mouth of all.” The boys smiled at her. Kiara letting out a sigh.

“Athena was also the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy,” Kiara said. “It might be fitting.” “I knew a pirate by the name of Athena,” the girl said, sitting straight once again. “She was, in fact, a ‘boss ass bitch’ as you would say. I would feel strange taking her name.” “Okay,” Kiara said. “What about something space-y, like Jupiter?” The girl shook her said instantly. Her father had been the navigator on their ship, always talking about the stars and space, stacks and stacks of books about the universe covering his corner of their cabin. She couldn’t bear to carry the weight of one of the names her father loved so much. A few more names were thrown around that the girl didn’t really like. Her heart was starting to sink when none of the names stuck. She hadn’t been there for the name deciding process of her parents and she hadn’t known the process for choosing names amongst her siblings. Things seemed to be going sour, until JJ finally spoke up. “What about Mera?” He asked, lifting his head. Everyone looked up at him. “I read it in a comic once.” The girl considered it, mulling it over in her head. “A comic book name, JJ?” Kiara asked. “Isn’t that a little...strange?”

“I like it,” the girl said suddenly, meeting JJ’s eyes with a smile. “Yes. Mera.” JJ smiled back. He shot a look at Pope, who glared at him. “Mera,” Kiara said and it was then that the girl knew the name was right for her. She wanted to hug JJ, hug them all, but she knew that she wasn’t wearing pants and if the world was anything like it was when she left, pants were often required before you hugged someone.

“Thank you,” she said, looking around at the others. “For saving my life and then giving me my name. It is more than I could ask for.”

The four of them smiled down at her, a warm feeling spreading in her chest at the sight of them. “It’s no problem. You’re one of us now,” Pope said. “Yeah,” John B continued with a smile. “Welcome to the Pogues, Mera.” She wasn’t sure what a pogue was but somehow, it felt like family.

#jj maybank #jj x oc #jj obx #the pogues #outer banks #obx #kiara obx #kie obx #john b #john b obx #pope heyward #pope obx #mermaid!au #mermaids in the outer banks?#more likely than you think #also sort of pirate!au #mermaid oc #pirate oc #possible love triangle?

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aquilamage · 4 years

Text

I finally finished my Sebastian birthday fic!!!!! a little behind schedule but who’s counting? Special shoutout to @unnecessarygayfeelings for all the conversations we have had about this concept and other Seb-Kay friendship stuff, she really inspired and encouraged me to actually write this whole thing

Also on ao3 and ff.n

When Kay finds out Sebastian's never had a proper birthday before, she knows that something must be done about it.

It had become something of a ritual for the two of them: spending their weekend evenings at Mr. Edgeworth’s house, usually with Kay bringing something over to further her quest of catching Sebastian up on all of the stuff he’d never seen before. Tonight was Pink Princess (admittedly in part as an appeasement tactic, since last time she’d gotten them into a lively roasting of the Steel Samurai franchise before Sebastian realized Mr. Edgeworth been in the adjoining room for a while).

They were partway through a filler arc – the one involving the non-powered secondary characters having to defend the town by themselves – and the episode’s ending credits just started to roll when Sebastian slumped forward with a huff.

“Yeah, I know. This isn’t the best writing in the series,” she said, using the break in action to check her phone.

Another little sound. “It’s not that. It’s… they’re the same age as me, and they’re doing all this important saving the world stuff.” When she glanced over at him, he’d wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his head on them.

She shook her head. “Well yeah. But it’s made up, right? Besides, I think the cases we’ve been helping with lately have been pretty cool and important too.” Seeing him still looking downcast, she slid the popcorn closer to him.

That cheered him up, at least enough to be watching with some interest as the opener for the next episode started.

As the theme song started, Kay processed something else about what he had said. Oh. Despite herself, she couldn’t help but breathe out a laugh. When he gave her a look, she waved a hand. “Sorry. You just said you were the same age as these characters, so, you know...”

He only kept staring, tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Uh. Just that they’re eighteen, actually. Which is fine,” she added quickly, seeing him frown, “it gets mentioned like once, so it makes sense you might mess it up, especially when it’s that close anyway.”

A long silence. “But…I am eighteen.”

The smile dropped right off her face. “What?” she breathed, then “I’m serious; it’s fine.”

Mouth quivering slightly, he brought his hands up to his collar. “I am too.” The very beginnings of tears formed.

“…that you’re eighteen?” She huffed, flopping herself back against the couch. “Since when? Because I seem to remember you saying you were seventeen before.”

“Since…my birthday? Last month?”

She stiffened. “Wait, your birthday was last month and you didn’t even tell me?” An exaggerated pout. “I thought we were friends.”

He ducked his head. “It’s not like it’s important.”

Kay opened her mouth, then closed it. Looked down, frowning, hand on her chin. Tilted her head back up. Only managed an “uch-” sort of sound before giving up again. Finally, after a series of very expressive eyebrow and nose wrinklings, constantly shifting back and forth: “what do you mean it’s not important?!” When he jumped at the force and volume, she immediately backed up. “Sorry,” she whispered. “But really, it’s your birthday. Your eighteenth! That’s a big thing!”

With an uneasy frown, Sebastian half-shrugged.

“Aw, come on.” She softened a bit. “Look, I know it wouldn’t have been the same, but I know we all would’ve done something to celebrate if we’d known.”

There was a long silence. Then, slowly, he relaxed his shoulders and his arms wrapped around himself, a bit at least. “Can we not- not talk about this anymore?” His voice was thick and strained.

“Uh- Okay.” Much as she was suddenly curious and a little concerned, Kay knew she shouldn’t push. The number of times she’d actually seen Sebastian assert boundaries could be counted on one hand, and they were supposed to be encouraging him about that. She held up the remote. “You…wanna keep watching?”

After a steadying breath, he nodded once, sharply.

---

It was about an episode and a half after Mr. Edgeworth had gone to bed, tone suggesting that he thought they should too (although the droop of his eyes betrayed he wasn’t expecting that of Kay, nor did he see it as being worth his energy to try very hard to convince them), when Sebastian spoke again.

“I’ve never ca- celebrated it before.” The admission almost got lost in the onscreen dialogue, not helped by the fact that he didn’t give any real indication that he was doing anything but watching the tv.

Kay turned. “What do you- oh. Oh.” With only the flickering screen as lighting, it was hard to make out any expression. “What, like, ever?”

That habitual little half-flinch of arms to his chest. “Not that I can remember.”

She stared at him. In her mind flashed memories of every birthday event she’d ever had: family, school, friends – especially the ones when her dad had still been alive. She tried to picture all that, gone. Her brain couldn’t even grapple the concept, it was so foreign.

How did she respond to that? She’s noticed over the past few months, how much Sebastian had going on in his life that she couldn’t even imagine, but still. “…that sucks.”

He shrugged, but even in the darkness it was very obvious how hard he was struggling to keep his face neutral. “It’s fine. I- …I’m used to it.” Another deep breath, and then he broke down crying.

Cursing under her breath, Kay pushed herself up, but then stopped herself immediately. Too abrupt. Right, she’d messed this up last time and they’d talked it over after. Do that instead. She pulled the blanket off the top of the couch. “Can I, uh…?” She held it up.

He nodded. When she draped it over him, he kept still, but when she sat back down (a bit closer than before but still giving plenty of space), he pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Not quite relaxed, but free of tension.

As that happened, she shuffled around for the remote and switched off the tv. She didn’t know what else to say, so she sat there bouncing her leg, hands on her knees. It felt awkward, though she couldn’t say why until she finally realized that Sebastian’s crying was awfully quiet.

Which was why she immediately perked up when he moved.

“Do you ra- r- …where are the tissues?” He had one hand keeping the blanket on, the other on the arm of the couch propping himself up, and his face was a mess.

“I’ll go get them!” Because if nothing else it gave her something to do, and the situation did nothing to curb her usual fidgety tendencies. She found the box quickly, bringing it back over to him.

He practically cradled it in his lap. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

They resumed their positions. This time, Kay’s thoughts went back to the crux of the situation: Sebastian’s lack of proper birthdays. It was a smaller cruelty than many of the others he’d suffered, she knew that. But that didn’t make it not awful. Besides, unlike some of the ‘bigger’ stuff, this seemed – unlike some of the others, as she started to think it over – like one she could do something concrete about.

But first, she needed some information.

---

A stream of people poured into the lobby as the trial let out. Kay stood against the wall at just the right angle to keep out of their way, watching the crowd intently. The place practically cleared out, but then she spotted her. “Judge Courtney!” she said, rushing over.

“Ah, Kay. What brings you here?”

She crossed her arms. “Some questions. You’ve known Sebastian the longest out of anyone I know. What does he like?”

A pause, barely noticeable except for a blink and a slight tilt of the head. “May I ask what this is for?”

“Sebastian’s birthday.”

“Oh. Kay,” she held up a hand, “perhaps we should sit somewhere more comfortable.”

Hoo boy, that was code for ‘Serious Adult Conversation ahead’ if she ever heard it. “Alright.” Kay shrugged. Then as they started walking, she dropped her voice. “I already know it was last month.” She didn’t know Courtney knew that part about him, but considering how things were going, she figured it was a pretty good guess.

Courtney didn’t respond until they reached one of the benches outside, draped over with trees. As she sat, she smoothed out her dress. “I certainly trust that you have the kindest of intentions. However, I have to question if…whatever it is you have planned...is for the best.”

“I just want to throw him a party! He deserves to have one for once in his life.” Really, she’d thought Courtney would be more chill about this.

That gave her pause. “I don’t know what your understanding of the situation is, but,” she sighed, then put a finger to her lips. “I mentioned it to him before the date, and he simply told me not to bother about it.” As she spoke, she traced patterns on her gavel, face downcast. “It’s wonderful that you want to do something for him, but this might simply be too close to everything that’s happened for him not to be reminded how much things have changed.”

Kay frowned. “I guess.” That tracked, even if she would’ve thought that Sebastian dismissed his birthday because he didn’t think it was worth Courtney bothering. From what she could tell, though, it seemed like she wasn’t aware of the whole ‘hadn’t actually had a birthday before’ part, and honestly Kay wasn’t sure if it was her place to mention it now. She slid one foot off the edge of the chair and onto the ground. “But I can’t just not do anything. It doesn’t feel right.”

A car started up in the nearby lot, and the wind rustled through the trees, brushing Kay’s hair against her face and ruffling her scarf.

Courtney sighed. “I’m not going to be able to stop you.” She bowed her head, slightly, slowly, then looked back up at her. “Perhaps, then, I can at least convince you that whatever you choose to do, to remember to keep his best interests at heart.”

Of course she was doing this for Sebastian’s interests! That was kind of the whole point. Kay frowned.

“Including not pushing him further than he would be comfortable.” Folding her arms in her lap, she sat with an even more proper posture, a presence wholly focused on her, waiting expectantly to appraise her response.

Despite herself, she shrunk back a little. What Sebastian would be comfortable…hm. She supposed she hadn’t thought of that, at least not in the details of the situation which, yeah. Might be a bit much. Kay cleared her throat, and said, meekly, “yeah. I can do that.”

---

“Alright, so we’re gonna have to make some adjustments.” Sprawled out on her bed, she regarded her open notebook. The page was absolutely covered in notes of different ink colors, some highlighted, with little drawings in the margins and white spaces. On a post-it note, she scribbled “save for next year?”, stuck it on top. She flipped to a blank page. “Let’s try this again,” she muttered.

For a long time after, the room was quiet but for the light scratch of paper rustling and a lot of pen clicking. Finally, she sat up. This page had a short bullet-point list, made seemingly longer by the lines she’d crossed out.

Kay smiled. “Now we’re talking.”

---

Mid-knock, the door was yanked open. “I have a flight to catch in half an hour, so this had better be-” Franziska paused. “Kay Faraday. How can I help you?”

She grinned. “You can sign something for me.” With a flourish, she produced a blue-and-pink envelope.

A huff. “Well, let me see what…” Holding the paper stiffly, she looked at Kay with narrowed eyes. “Kay Faraday. Are you sure this is an appropriate thing to be doing?” In a lower voice, “I’m not sure I am the best person for this.”

“Aw, don’t be like that!” Kay sidled around next to her. “I just hit you up first because I had a deadline. You don’t have to do anything besides sign your name. Ok?” Seeing Franziska still waver, she leaned in further with the last line, tilting her head.

“…Very well.” Moving to her desk, she scribbled something down. For a second, she paused, pen hovering over the paper. But then she shrugged and resumed like it was nothing. “Here you are.”

Oh, she was going to have to resist real hard not to immediately read whatever was on there. Then again, if other people would be seeing it anyway, maybe… She plucked it out of her hands. “Awesome, thanks! Good luck on your investigation!”

Franziska crossed her arms. As the door shut, she sighed. “You might need it more, if you are doing anything like I might think,” she murmured to herself lightly.

---

“..and that’s when they switched over notation styles. Well, except for- Uh, Kay?”

Her train of thought flew away like the bird on the windowsill. “Hmm?” She looked back at Sebastian.

He still had his hands out in front of him from talking, his eyebrows slightly raised now. The lack of his voice in the air hung in the silence like an afterimage on the back of her mind. As that quiet went on, the line of his mouth gathered into a slight pout.

Kay’s thoughts felt like they were swimming through honey as she tried to process herself back to what was happening. The whole thing started from Sebastian getting antsy about Mr. Edgeworth’s meeting taking so long, she recalled, the stiffness from sitting in the rigid waiting room chair settling back into her awareness. He’d started fidgeting with his baton. So she’d asked him about it. Sebastian had immediately been distracted talking about the few concerts he’d been to- Oh, right. She had been listening intently, but after a while of having nothing else to do but listen, she’d found herself staring through the window behind him and that had been the end of her attention.

Seeing him start to tense, she cursed herself about it. “Sorry,” she rubbed the back of her neck. “I kind of spaced out for a bit. What were you saying?”

For a terrifying moment, his face went blank. Then, he blinked, and smiled. “Oh, that’s ok! I get disgruntled a lot when Justine’s explaining things, so I get it.”

“You mean distracted?”

“...Yeah! That.” He hummed something under his breath. When Kay didn’t say anything else, he stared down at his feet. “Do you actually want me to keep talking?”

Well, she had mostly been trying to occupy him, but there had been some curiosity there too. Besides, it was fun to see him so excited about something. Kay stood, stretching. “Give me a second, but yeah.” As she pulled her arm behind her head, “but, maybe a little more beginner level, if you can?”

---

“Wow pal, I can’t believe you’re asking me for help with this.”

“Of course I am!” Kay threw an arm around Gumshoe. She meant it too: he was the most friendly, enthusiastic person she’d ever met. Yeah, he didn’t know Sebastian as well, so it might be a little more difficult to- and he was already writing, brow furrowed in concentration. Huh. Cool.

With a thoughtful noise, he held it up to reread, chewing lightly on the end of his pen. Then, with a nod, he handed it over. “How about this?”

It was only a quick scan, but she could tell “Perfect. Thanks, Gummy.”

---

A spoon clattered to the table.

“Yeah!” Kay threw her arms in the air, sending her spoon skittering across the floor. “Oohf, I got it.” Ducking under the table, she picked it up.

Across from her, Sebastian watched with his eyebrows raised, putting his own spoon back where it belonged.

She flung herself back up. “So! If you really want to make it stay, the secret is to-”

“How was everything tonight?”

Immediately she put her hands down, smiling politely. “Great, thanks!”

The server nodded. “Great. And are we having dessert today?”

“Yeah!” Kay said, at the same time Sebastian dipped his head with a “no, thank you.” They looked at each other.

Kay spoke first. “Can we get a menu?”

“Sure thing!”

When they’d left, she leaned over. “Aw, come on, you should get something.”

“Eh.” Half-shrugging, with an uneasy frown, he looked away. “No, it’s fine.”

Hmm. She let him be for the moment. Scanning the menu, she made her own decision, then continued staring, counting to a minute(ish) before she moved. The laminated paper slid across the table. “I’ll pay if that’s the issue, but seriously. We’ve been working so much, we deserve something nice.”

Sebastian looked at her, briefly at the menu, then back to her. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

“…What, to order dessert? Yeah. That’s why it’s there.” She rested her chin in her hands. “You could show up and just get desserts, if you really wanted.” She paused. “Huh.” Then, she shook her head. File that in future developing plans.

“Okay.” Not sounding entirely convinced, he started examining the options anyway.

To give herself something to do, Kay pulled out her phone. She bounced between a couple game apps, refreshing the same website three times, replying to a conversation thread she’d been having with someone about Steel Samurai, checking a different site…

“Ready to order?”

About to answer for herself, she noticed Sebastian frowning, the menu making wobbling noises from him bending it in his hands. “Uh, can we get another minute?” Then, she picked up her chair from under her and dragged it over to sit next to him. “What’s up?”

Seemingly reflexively, he clutched the menu to his chest. “Sorry.” He relaxed slowly. “I don’t know…”

“Well,” she tapped one of the items, “they’ve got a sampler tray. How about we get that?”

An uncertain nod. But then, a tiny smile.

Kay insisted on handing each of the desserts to him individually, putting on her most exaggerated game show host voice to ask ‘the celebrity judge’s opinion on the contestant’s dishes.’ It took him a moment to warm up to it, but soon enough they were trading remarks and dishes back and forth with ease.

It made her feel energized and light to see Sebastian enjoying himself so much, and even more grateful to herself for this idea. Even so, she didn’t let that distract her from keeping notes about the whole thing in her head.

---

“Hey, Mr. Edgeworth.” Her usual singsong greeting had a little extra touch of sweet to it, in the cadence that led up to something rather than being a sentence on its own.

“Kay. What food have I run out of this time.” Sure, he did sound a little tired at that, but the sarcasm weighed that pretty lightly.

She leaned on his desk, taking a tone of false indignation. “No.” She paused. “I mean, you might want to pick up more cereal next time you go shopping, but that’s just my thief’s intuition.” Wagging a finger, she leaned forward just enough to push some of his papers askew. “I came here to ask a favor.”

Now, he finally looked up at her. All he did was raise an eyebrow (and narrow his eyes a little, but this instance felt more like squinting – because she was pretty sure at this point that he needed glasses), but it was pretty obviously leading up to a ‘Kay, what kind of trouble do you expect me to help you with now?’

“Kay, what trouble do you expect me to get you out of now?”

She laughed. “Hey! It’s not like that this time, and besides, it’s not even for me.” In one motion she pulled the envelope out of her bag and dropped it so it fell perfectly in front of him.

Still with a bit of trepidation, Mr. Edgeworth looked inside. He frowned, until he got to actually examine the contents properly. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Sliding off the desk, Kay wandered over towards the bookshelf. She started poking at files randomly, mostly as an excuse to not look at him without just pointedly not looking at him. Although she did peek over her shoulder. Just for a second.

All she saw was him glaring down intently, anyway.

Several minutes later, he cleared his throat. “Here you are.” When she stepped back over to take it, there was a moment of hesitation from him. The hand holding the envelope faltered. “Kay. What else do you have planned?”

“Why, are you offering to help?”

“Ngh. No, I simply…wished to be forewarned.” He looked off to the side. “Rather than being thrown headlong into who knows what.”

Surprise party for Mr. Edgeworth: no, but it might be funny to let him think you’re planning one. She grinned. “You’re such a stick in the mud.” Before he could react, she snatched the envelope “but thanks for the help anyway!” and bounded off.

“Kay!”

She stuck her head back in the door. “What?”

“Do you have something else planned?”

“Yeah,” she said, drawing out the pause. “But nothing involving you, unless you really want.” This time was sincere, rather than teasing.

He relaxed, slowly sitting down. “I…think I will pass this time.”

“Alright, suit yourself.” That made things easier, since she hadn’t planned for him saying yes anyway. And then she was off again.

---

“Hey!”

Sebastian froze, head darting from side to side.

“Up here.”

He gazed up the stairwell to where Kay was, leaning over the railing to wave at him. “Uh, hi. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I-” With a shake of her head, she jogged down to his level, skipping a few steps as she went to land next to him. “So,” she huffed, “I was wondering. Instead of going to Mr. Edgeworth’s Friday, can we do my place?”

For a moment, he wrung his hands together, expression mostly empty with a tinge of confusion. But then, he nodded. “Sure.” He breathed in through his nose. “Uh, where is that?”

She blinked. “Right. Here, get your phone out.” And she dictated the address for him. “Good?”

“I...think so.” Furrowing his brow, he clutched his phone in a way worryingly like he would his baton if his grip were any tighter. “Is there anything I have to do?”

“No? Just show up.” She did her best to smile reassuringly. Sebastian had never been over to her apartment before, but it wasn’t that big of a thing. Well, for her at least, she supposed. “It’s not as fancy as Mr. Edgeworth’s, but I’m not going to get as uptight about things either. Actually, let me know if you want me to pick up any specific kind of snacks, but otherwise yeah. Same time and everything. Trust me, it’ll be great.”

---

“Was there something else?” It had been a while since their last conversation, but considering that one had been about Sebastian, and that those were the only times Kay had approached her on her own before, she supposed it was fair for Courtney to assume so. Besides, she was right.

Kay held out the envelope. “I had an idea. If you could get that back to me by the end of the day.” With a playful salute, she turned to go. “Drop it with Mr. Edgeworth, if you need to.”

She raised an eyebrow, but slowly opened the envelope. As she scanned the contents, her expression warmed into a soft smile. “I see.”

---

The door to Kay’s apartment swung open. “Hey! Come in.”

Shoulders tight, Sebastian stepped inside. “Uh, hi.”

She smiled. “Make yourself at home, okay. What do you want to drink?”

There was a bit of a pause before he said “water’s fine,” leaning over to take off his shoes.

Well, that was something at least. In the kitchen, she filled up both glasses – she’d get him to drink something else later. It was pretty quiet, Kay noted as she opened a cupboard. But then again, it made sense that Sebastian wouldn’t be a ‘having conversations from different rooms’ kind of person. Balancing the drinks and as many snacks as she could fit in her arms, she reentered the living room to find him standing in the middle of the floor. “Sit down, stay a while.” She dumped everything on the coffee table. Then she collapsed on the couch, patting the other cushion.

He followed her lead, tucking his legs under him. The glass of water was accepted, and as Kay started up the tv, he even reached for the bag of grapes.

“So. Do you want to start off where we were watching or do you want to play a game first?”

---

Three episodes of Jammin’ Ninja, a pizza, several rounds of Mario Kart, and five Guitar Hero losses in a row later, Kay dropped her controller in her lap. “I think I’m done with this one,” she said, flopping back.

“Hey, you are pretty good at this.” Sebastian leaned forward with his fork to slide another piece of pizza onto his plate (Kay was tempted to poke fun at him for that – it felt like such a Mr. Edgeworth thing, and she definitely would’ve gotten at him for it – but dropped it, considering). He smirked. “I guess I just happen to be better.”

Kay opened her mouth, but failed to find a smart remark that wouldn’t end up unnecessarily mean. Instead, she stuck her tongue out.

He stuck his tongue out back at her, and when she repeated the action, but more exaggerated, he burst out laughing. As he calmed, he simply sat watching her. Then, with a yawn like a cat, he stretched, arms over his head and back arching. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Alright.” Kay stayed slumped against the couch until she heard the door shut, at which point she dashed to the linen closet. She had just enough time to throw herself into approximately the same position before Sebastian returned. “So, I have something for you.”

He tilted his head. “What?”

Grinning broadly, she lifted the gift bag from behind the couch. “I know it’s a little late, but,” she plopped it in the spot between them. “Your birthday present.”

In the background, the game’s menu music looped through again. Right, she’d meant to turn that off before. Not that Sebastian seemed to care or notice, with the way he stared wide-eyed at the multicolor balloon print. Finally, he started to lean forward. “Are you sure?” His voice was very small, a scared hesitancy that nearly broke her heart.

“Yup.” She nudged it closer to him.

Still cautious, he picked up the bag into his lap, and just…held it there, for a moment. His hands were still curled around it, but loosely, and he watched Kay over the top of it, as if waiting for her to…do something, she didn’t know.

“There should be a card on top; start with that.” She wasn’t sure prompting was exactly what he needed, but…

“Oh,” he said softly. “Oh, right.” He pulled it closer to himself then. With a delicacy that she hadn’t started showing until- wait, no, she still tore into presents like an excited three-year-old. Anyway the point was that Sebastian was very careful in opening the envelope flap and taking out the card. It was a rather generic design, but only on the outside. Sebastian looked at her, and she motioned for him to open it. When he did so, he let out a tiny gasp.

Kay tried not to stare at him as he read, but every time she tried to turn her attention away it kept skittering back. It was impossible to tell exactly what part he was reading when, but she already knew the contents. The card had only come with a simple “Happy Birthday” on the inside, but that was fine. They’d done plenty to fill the rest of the space

In the top left corner, written in smooth black ink and typographical quality cursive, was Franziska’s. It simply read, “All good wishes on your birthday. -Franziska von Karma”

While not much more in content, Gumshoe’s big round handwriting took up a lot bigger of a space, occasionally spilling across the fold line. “Happiest of birthdays, pal! Have a great day – you deserve it!”

Mr. Edgeworth’s looked as though he had lined up a ruler as a guide for writing it (honestly, she would bet money he had), and the actual lettering, while angular, was equally neat and consistent across the bottom right side. “We’ve only been working together for a short time, but even in that I have witnessed your great strength and dedication. It is an honor to continue to be a part of your journey.” There was just the tiniest dot of extra ink at the end of the sentence, the closest thing to an imperfection in the writing. “Happy Birthday, Sebastian.”

When she’d taken a peek at the card this afternoon after Mr. Edgeworth had handed it back to her, she’d been surprised to see that Courtney’s handwriting was somewhat jumbled. Then again, the fact that she’d had to make do with working around the space of everyone else’s notes probably didn’t help. She’d written, in pen that looked like some very dark color that was just off from black, “Sebastian. When we spoke about your birthday previously, I hope that my misunderstanding did not seem like a lack of care. If it did, I can only offer my deepest apologies, and the promise to try harder in the future to become the kind of person you would be more comfortable being open around. I wish you the best belated birthday possible, with love. Justine.”

And taking up a good third-bordering-on-half of the bottom right side (helped by the fact that she’d put a sticky note reservation there before handing it out), was Kay’s cursive-print hybrid, alternating sparkly gel pen colors every phrase or so. “Hey. I hope this isn’t overstepping, but you’re someone important to all of us, so I had to find some way to include everyone. You deserve to have your birthday celebrated, okay? This isn’t enough to make up for past stuff, but it’s still something, right? Happy Birthday. -Kay” In the space under the words, she’d doodled a little picture of herself making a heart with her hands.

Sebastian started crying very early into his reading. The first couple tears steadily developed until the paper shook and had to be in danger of getting wet (if it wasn’t already). Taking a big, shaky breath, he put the card on his lap.

At this point, Kay reached behind her for the box of tissues on the lower shelf of the side table, and held it out.

With a nod, he took it. He hadn’t stopped crying, so it was more damage control at the moment as he blotted at his face.

While he was busy with that, Kay took the opportunity to gradually turn down the tv volume. That didn’t take very long, though, leaving her to sit and wait. At least it was less awkward than last time.

Finally, he got his breathing and the tears mostly under control. Although when he sat up and looked at her he quickly ducked his head again, eyes watering. “I- uh… He sniffled. “…thank you,” he whispered, voice thick.

Oh, now her eyes were starting to sting. “It’s no problem at all.”

Sebastian smiled weakly, although his mouth still trembled.

They sat there for some time. Kay held in her impulse to say something, wanting to give him time to finish processing and let him move on at his own pace.

And eventually he did. Very carefully, he set the card on the top of the back of the couch and opened the bag. A few sheets of tissue paper, pulled out and scattered across the couch later, he held up a small box. He looked at Kay just long enough for her to give him a ‘go on’ nod, then opened it. “Huh,” he whispered upon seeing the contents. His mouth pressed together, clearly trying to keep steady as he examined a pair of dark blue socks patterned with tiny orange cats. “I love it.”

She grinned, leaning on the back cushion. “Yeah. That one made me think of you.”

A heavy breath, although the tears were framing a smile. It took him a minute, but he managed to steady himself again without fully crying this time.

“Hey,” she fake-whispered. “There’s more in there.”

He carefully lifted the socks, only to squint at finding just paper. The moment he saw what was on it, though, his hand flew to his mouth in a gasp. “Oh, this is…”

“That’s the right one, right?”

With a soft noise of agreement, he started studying it further. “I’ve never gotten to hear them, but I’ve heard the orchestra performance is- Wait, why are there two tickets?”

“So you can take someone with you,” she murmured.

The smile wavered just a little. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Carefully, he repacked the box. Still not looking at her, he said, “do you- would you want to go?”

Kay had figured it would come up, and she picked her words carefully. “If you want. But you know I don’t know a thing about your fancy music stuff.” It wasn’t that she wouldn’t go and at least have a decent time, probably. But for Sebastian’s sake, if he just wanted someone to talk at, it wouldn’t make much of a difference if Kay had actually been there or not. “You gotta know someone who would get more out of it than me.”

Chewing on his lip, he stared down at the cushions. “Well, there’s-” he paused, the little flinch of frustration that usually popped up when he started talking about some part of his life only to remember that, since the mess with his father, it wasn’t the same anymore. “...Uh. I’ll have to see,” he said, barely audible.

“Or you can go by yourself. It’s meant to be something nice for you, so if dealing with that part’s a problem, don’t bother. I can handle returning it and I’ll buy you lunch or something instead, alright? Focus on the cool music stuff.”

He mimicked her pose, hands on his hips. “Yeah!” The smile returned as he closed his eyes, arms drifting until he was doing tiny little conducting motions, probably not even aware.

When he’d calmed a bit to merely bouncing a little, she leaned forward, chin resting on her head. “You’ve still got one thing left.”

“Oh!” Again, he put the box to the side and shuffled through the paper, this time retrieving a much larger translucent plastic container. Sliding the bag out of the way on the floor, he pried off the lid. And stared at the contents.

The look on his face was so blank… “I picked cupcakes because I thought they’d be more fun.” Plus, a couple of them were much easier to fit in a gift bag than a whole cake. “The rest are in the kitchen, but I put one of each flavor… What?”

As she talked, he’d bowed his head, and his shoulders were shaking, breaths coming fast and unsteady.

“Uh, Seb?”

Then he looked up. Sure enough, there were tears at the corners of his eyes, but the light in them…

Kay stared. “What is so funny?”

“You-” He covered his mouth with a hand. “They’re, uh,” laughter tripping up his words, he tilted the box so she could see.

Nothing about it seemed out of the ordinary to her- three medium size cupcakes of different flavors (carrot, spice, chocolate: not Sebastian’s top three, but she’d gone with what he seemed to like and then whatever other likes that let her use the same frosting), although you couldn’t tell from this angle due to the teal frosting she’d painstakingly decorated with sugarwork music notes. “What are you talking about?”

“No, it’s-” he shrunk back slightly. “It’s really nice, but” his voice got quieter “you did write this all wrong.”

She crossed her arms. “But I looked at references and everything!”

“Well, you got the notes right, but if you actually look at the way the measures are laid out across these, none of them have a combination of notes that gives them the same amount of beats as the other ones, so it’s…” He trailed off as it was Kay’s turn to start giggling.

“I’m not laughing at you,” she said as she scooted next to him. “I did really mess those up, though, huh?”

At that, he relaxed. “Yeah. A lot.”

“I’ll get it right next year.”

There was a moment of silence. Then, he reached up to wipe away a single tear. “You better,” he said, smiling.

#Sebastian Debeste #Kay Faraday #also a bunch of other aai/2 characters but not quite enough to tag #partners in crime (platonic)#Ace Attorney #fanfiction #my writing #rambles

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multifansky · 4 years

Text

Scenario - Knowing Bros Episode 200

Anon - can you do a chapter on knowing bros ep 200 with sky and the members. Thank u!!!

I did my best and tried to only get Sky content with the members of course. I hope you like it!

The credit belongs to the show, with my little twist here and there!

Sky’s P.O.V~

Another episode of Knowing Brothers. The 200th episode to be exact. And what better way to celebrate it by having the members join. Just like the 100th episode, the members are back. All 10 of us and I couldn't be happier.

Today I’m in a different schoolgirl outfit than I usually am for filming because I’ll be on the other side.

All the knowing bro’s cast was wondering where Heechul and I were since we aren't at our seats. They kept yelling our names and Heechul and I decided to walk through the door of where the guest comes in. The cast looks confused, “We’re here as singers today.” I said. “Yeah, We’re not about of Knowing Bro’s today.” Heechul then said after me. The cast kept wanting us to sit down, not liking the sudden change.

“We brought some friends today,” Heechul said.

“Indeed we did. Come out here!” I said and the rest of the Super Junior members came along. I stood back, pushing lightly at the members to all stand at the front. Heechul and I are standing on opposite ends. Us members and the cast all clapped and cheered as we all gathered around the front.

“We’re from “We are Back After 100 Episode″ High. We are Super Juni-” Leeteuk said.

“Or!” All us members said and did our hand poses. Everyone cheered again and I smiled proudly. The Knowing Bros cast tried to copy us, but instead of Super Junior, it was Knowing Brothers, which turned out... not good at all.

“Wow, that was a fail. Glad to say I’m with the members and not the cast.” I said and smiled after everyone laughed.

“It seemed like they made it up,” Leeteuk said.

“I got a shock. It seemed a little rushed” Heechul said after.

Kang Ho Dong then started to explain how amazing the group Super Junior is and how we released a new song called “Super Clap” and are now joining them for their 200th episode. Then Kyuhyun explained how we all came here not knowing it was the 200th episode, we just found out before we started recording.

“I honestly didn't expect this show to reach 200 episodes,” Leeteuk said.

Then Shindong and the cast began to talk about how the show would have gotten canceled because of how risky it was at the beginning. Then, of course, Shindong got cocky and said he was the one that made the show alive after he danced with JYP perfectly.

Then, of course, Lee Soo Geun talked about how Leeteuk looked like a tour guide especially with the bag. Leeteuk then proceeded to act like one, which got a huge reaction from our reaction man, Siwon.

Finally, we got to introduce ourselves and Shindong came up with the idea of doing it like how we used to in debut years since our album title is called “Timeslip”.

“Hello, I’m “Cinderella” Kim Heechul,” Heechul said. Then he explained that it was his social media username in the past and that he had to go home in the past and that he had to go home or go out at 12:00 AM.

“Hello, I’m a special leader of this world, the angel who lost his wings, Teuk, Teuk, Leeteuk!” Leeteuk said, even doing his old hand gestures. I giggled to myself, thinking he is still cute to this day.

Then Before Yesung started, Ho Dong said he lost weight and Yesung began saying that his face his swollen today. Then we all made fun of him about how he has no face at all making everyone laugh. “Hello. I’m the lead vocalist of Super Junior, with the voice of an artist. I’m Yesung. Nice to meet you.”

“Hello. I’m Donghae, who is cuter than the animation Finding Nemo. ” Everyone laughed and I smiled wide, nodding my head in agreement. He sure looks like him.

Everyone was curious about Siwon’s introduction and how he is handsome. What will come to them is a surprise, but to them, not to us. “Hello. I’m Choi Siwon.” And that was it. Nothing more to explain about him, making me roll my eyes in a joking matter.

Since Shindong was on Popopo at the time, the name of his character was “Dongridong” so he used it in his introduction. “Hello, Donridong, Dong, Dong... I’m Talented Shindond,” He did, with his hand movements as well.

“Hello, I’m self-illuminating handsome jewel, Lee Hyuk Jae.” 'Everyone chuckled because it wasn't his stage name, he then explained that he often forgot his stage name and just used his regular name instead. “He really is stupid, huh?” I pointed at him, looking at the cast, making them laugh. Eunhyuk just staring me down, trying to get through an episode without us ending up arguing.

“Hello, I’m Super Junior’s vocalist, one of the youngest member’s Ryeowook.” Everyone forgets that he is older than Kyuhyun and me, especially since he looks young as well.

It was finally Kyuhyun’s turn and he stepped back, “ I used to kind of hesitate. I was introverted and lacked confidence. When we were standing, I would stand slightly behind.” Everyone laughed. “I swear he did this and I felt bad all the time. I tried to bring him to the front and he would always just find someone to slightly stand behind.” I explained to everyone. Kyuhyun got into his act, looking at everyone first, then began talking with no eye contact with anyone and talking quieter, “ Hello, I’m Super Junior’s new member, Kyuhyun.”

Finally, it was my turn. I bowed and said energetically, “Hello, I’m the only girl who’s the cutest of them all, Ji Sky!” Also adding my poses was putting a peace sign to my eyes, with a wink. Everyone awed, “She’s still cute now, oh gosh!” Heechul said. Everyone agrees.

After introductions, Ho Dong explained about our album concept and how almost all of our hair colors are different, and about how we picked our own style this time around. Which made everyone to proceed to attack Eunhyuk because of his bright ass hair that no one wanted to see. “I sometimes wonder if Leeteuk is the attention seeker or Eunhyuk,” I said, making the members laugh. Then we also talked about Siwon’s hair and how it’s the rich hairstyle of a young businessman, which also targeted Seo Jang Hoon who has the same hairstyle.

We then proceeded to talk about how it's our first time back with all the members back from discharge. “Sky, how did you feel when the members kept coming and going because of their military service?” Lee Sang Min asked me. I thought for a moment, already feeling a little emotional, “They are my brothers, almost my whole lives have been about them. Seeing the members come and go was very hard. I knew they were doing a great job, but I couldn't help but feel selfish. I get lonely easily and sometimes I go to specific members for different things, so at times when I needed them for that certain thing, they weren't there. It took me a while to process it and understand. After more members started to leave, I accepted it more. When we were on our hiatus that’s when it hit me hard. Because for a couple of years we went and all did our own thing. It was very weird. But I’m happy, we’re all back together because now they get to deal with me again.” I laughed at the end, making sure tears didn't fully come out. Everyone chuckled, “She tried to make it funny so she didn’t cry,” Kyuhyun said, laughing and giving me a side hug. I smiled and leaned into him, “She learned that from me” Heechul said.

After we proceeded to talk about other topics. Such as; Leeteuk being the most complicated when it comes to our upcoming tour because of how much he messages us, Us members saying happy birthday to Ryeowook in a group chat that he isn't even a part of, Who visited Ryeowook in the military, Heechul and I suddenly becoming awkward because we aren't in our original spots on the show, Leeteuk being popular among elders even J-Hope’s family, after Yesung’s confession about Ho Dong other victims came and talked about their trauma with ho dong which led to Kyuhyun talking about that one incident with yesung and Ho Dong, Siwon having a bad experience with Jang Hoon when he was a kid, and Kyuhyun being the Genie on Masked Singer.

Eunhyuk got to do his interpretation of our song “I think I” by dancing and he never fails to impress me. In which not many people know right now, but we just started dating recently and it’s so hard for me to not have a bigger reaction like I wanted.

After we got to talk about Shindong and how he is the best at dancing of all of SM and even trainees use this one video to audition or do a cover of it. Shindong then proceeded to redo that dance, which had a great storyline. During towards the end of the song, the old Dance Line used to be a part of it, So Eunhyuk, Donghae, and I stepped up with Shidong, Leeteuk being close behind. We danced with him.

After we all got to sit down with each other, Ryeowook with me, Yesung with Heechul, Eunhyuk with Kyung Hoon, Siwon with Jang Hoon, Donghae with Young Chul, Kyuhyun with Ho Dong, Leeteuk with Soo Geun, and Shindong with Sang Min.

We are playing the game, “I am sorry, I love you.” It’s basically where we get something off our chest about someone else. The other person should apologize after one says something and then, in the end, both say “I love you.” It seems simple enough.

After Leeteuk and Kyuhyun went first, Heechul replaced Kyuhyun’s spot, which got us, members, freaking out not wanting another Incheon battle. So, we went over dramatic with our reactions whenever they said anything about each other. Eventually, they did makeup and no battle happened. Everyone got to confess and misunderstanding and on now asking questions and trying to guess the answer.

After Shindong, it was my turn. “Everyone Listen up, I’m asking the question now,” I said, holding the hammer in my hand and raising an eyebrow, looking at everyone. “Oo~ she thinks she tough,” Eunhyuk said, looking away, which earned a well-deserved glare from me. The members then gasped, “Don’t fight!” they all started to say and the cast was confused. “When they are on a show together they start to sometimes fight and cause an actual argument,” Shindong explained.

“Anyways! I’ll start.” I start reading the card, “Everyone knows I was really young when we debuted, yes?” I looked at everyone, then went back to reading, “What did I use to hate about myself but now I love?”

Everyone “ooo'd” and I examine all of them, everyone looked at each other then started laughing, “Min Kyung Hoon is growing his beard back!” Heechul yelled out. I looked at him and held my hammer ready to fire at him, “What are you thinking about, huh?!”

I walked over to him, hemmer ready in action. “B-breast?” He stuttered laughing and looking away with his face red. I laughed and hit him with the hammer lightly, “Wrong even though that is a good answer.”

I smiled and went back to the front. “I Got it!” Eunhyuk yelled loudly with his hands up. “Your dancing skills?” I glared and walked over to him and hit him hard, making the sound of the toy hammer echo in the room. “Wrong. Plus, I’ve been better than you since trainee years and I was 11.” I walked away from everyone and the boys all laughed.

“I got it! Was it your chubby cheeks? ” Shindong yelled out and I hit him on the shoulder lightly. “Wrong,” I said.

“Kyung Hoon was the closest to it.” The boys started to think.

“I-i got it!” Kyuhyun stood up and I looked at him, “Was it your body figure in general?” he asked.

“You got it!” I said and everyone clapped.

“W-why?” Everyone started to ask.

“Back then I was really young and obviously was still growing. I’ve hated myself for years. My first relationship made it worse for me. And when I am stressed, I eat a lot and then not eat for days because I was scared of my image. My weight would function weird and go to places that made me feel unattractive. Now that I’m older and things balanced out, I enjoy how my body looks. The fat goes to the right places.” I winked at them and sat back down, getting a hug from Ryeowook.

The last segment of today was the Super Scholarship Quiz where we find out who is the best in variety by playing some games. It was very chaotic as usual when it comes to us. I was with Leeteuk, Shindong, and Ryeowook. With Ryeowook and I together. It was an easy win. Us, Super Junior, won the Ice Cream which I was so excited to bring home, I saw Kyuhyun in the corner of my eye, smiling at me.

During one of the questions, Kyuhyun was asked what his girlfriend's name was, which of course was asked by Lee Soo Geun. He wasn’t supposed to ask that, but that man wanted to win. Kyuhyun said “No one” which meant he didn't have one. Then we all bagged on him because he didn't say E.L.F. Leeteuk made me laugh as well when he said, “She must be disappointed” which was funny enough until Heechul slightly mumbles, “At least it wasn’t to a different member then we’d be in trouble. “ And at that moment all the members started yelling and hitting him because we all knew who he was talking about.

In the end, Super Junior is the best of variety shows. We got some good food and then we promoted our new song “Super Clap.” Overall this has been the best time I’ve had since episode 100 of Knowing Bros. Not only am I with my Knowing Brother’s cast family, but I’m also with my Super Junior family.

Masterlist

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dodger-sister · 4 years

Text

Disclaimer: I stopped watching mid S9 & only just came back for this last run of episodes, post-the-Covid-break. So I’m not well versed in the current mythology, though I gather Becky says there will be two endings. Ever since the end of Despair (s15e18), I’ve had this visual in my head of an ending. I’m not quite sure how to get there, since again, I’m not up on current mythology. But I wanted to write this down for myself. It's not a Dean/Cas romance ending, but a friendship ending, and a good ending for everybody and yeah, kinda Dean heavy, but I know what I'm about, idk. But I just had a visual and for the first time in what feels like 1,000 years, I had something in my head that I had to get out through writing, and once again it's SPN, so like...here’s what I’m picturing:

First of all, Jack defeats Chuck. But it drains all his power and leaves him powerless & more or less human. Idk who becomes God then…Amara? Michael? No one? But when Chuck is defeated, everyone comes back – all the people Chuck deleted, all the Apocalypse World people, all the people like Eileen who died & came back. Everyone. And The Empty, as a gift to the boys for ending this nonsense, spits Castiel back out – (as a writer, I know it was actually a good ending for Cas, his pure happiness, but as a fan I won’t stand for it to end that way). Then angels & demons are suddenly sucked back up into Heaven & Hell, to put things right. As this happens, Dean turns wild-eyed to Castiel, thinking he’s being taken…but he doesn’t go. He stays. And it’s in that moment they realize he is human now, blessed to be part of the humanity he loves now. (From this point on Cas’ outfits consist of button-up shirts with the top 2 buttons undone, black slacks, no tie & no trenchcoat). And then somehow we find out – if Amaara is God or whatever, she gives them the 411 -- that angels & demons are on lockdown and unable to return to Earth. “At least for a millennium or so. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t still things that go bump in the night, boys.” (Also, idk enough about what’s up with Adam, but pls insert your own happy ending in here for that boy, he fucking deserves it, the poor kid).

Then, for some reason – idk, maybe when they came back all the people in the world realized something had happened, things don’t just pick right up where they left off, everyone is a little dazed – a bunch of people are at the bunker with the boys, Apoca-World people & stuff. And there’s kind of this montage, with a score, maybe a folk-rock song, idk, but like people slowly getting their bearings and heading out; the family with the two daughters, bags slung over their shoulders, shaking the boys’ hands in thanks and then heading up the stairs /fade them out to the next scene/ Sam & Eileen sweetly kissing /fade them out to the next scene/ Jody & Donna & the girls hugging the boys goodbye, heading up the stairs /fade them out to the next scene/ Dean setting a burger down in front of Cas, who smiles softly because there are some things he missed about being human /fade them out to the next scene/ Garth saying goodbye to the boys, heading up the stairs /fade them out to the next scene/ Sam & Eileen having amazingly hot sex /fade them out to the next scene/ Jack trying out his powers on a houseplant, nothing happens, he nods, accepting this is permanent /fade them out to the next scene/ Charlie & Stevie, with one of those great Dean-&-Charlie hugs where he cradles her head, omg /fade them out to the next scene/ Sam & Eileen in bed together, facing each other, hands pressed palm to palm, fingers interlocked, gazing loving at each other /fade them out to the last person/ Bobby gets a hug from Sam & then Dean, Cas goes to shake his hand and Bobby gives him a gruff look and then pulls him in for a back-slap hug. “You boys stay in touch.” Sam’s all, “Always, Bobby.”

Then all that’s left is the four guys + Eileen. Sam says to Dean, “I’m gonna take Eileen home, get her settled. I’ll be back in a few days.”

Dean says, “Or you could stay, you know?” He looks like it’s hard to say, but he’s also happy for Sam. “It’s not that far.” (Is it, idk, where does she live?)

Sam’s all, “You mean, like move in with her? Naw, man, naw. We aren’t there yet.”

Dean goes, “That’s not how it’s seemed this last week around here,” with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Sam blushes, so soft, a soft baby. “No, Dean. I mean…we aren’t there, *yet*.”

“Attaboy,” with a slap on the arm.

Then we get Dean hugging Eileen goodbye, she and Sam head up the stairs, Dean turns to Cas & Jack at the table. Cas stands up awkwardly, says, “I suppose I should consider getting a place of my own. Humans do that, yes?”

Dean goes, “What? No. Are you kidding me? Sam’s gonna be spending a lot of time – and I mean a *lot* of time /suggestive tone/ with Eileen. You’re not gonna leave me to clunk around this place on my own.” Then he pauses, can’t quite meet Cas’ eyes, so not good with emotions that he knows what Cas said before The Empty took him but Dean can’t quite acknowledge it. “Unless, like, that’s something you need. For yourself, I mean. To not be here. If you wanna move out…”

Cas, firm and sure, “I do not.”

Dean looks up, a smile of relief on his face, “Well, alright then.”

Then Dean turns to Jack. “What about you? You gonna try to bail out on us?”

Jack, confused, says, “No, not at all.”

Dean asks, “Then what’s your plan? One day at a time?”

“Actually,” Jack says, and slides a pamphlet over that’s been sitting with a stack of papers on the table, “I hadn’t had time to give it much thought, but I was thinking this.”

Dean picks it up. It’s a college pamphlet. “College, huh? Following in Sam’s footsteps?”

“*Community* college,” Jack emphasis. “So I could live here &, idk, try it out. See what I want to do next. The pamphlet says there are many options ahead of me.”

Dean gives Jack his patented half-smirk/half-smile. “Alright, we can work with that. What do you need?” He reaches in his back pocket for his wallet. “Money for books? A credit card?” He may have taken a while to get onboard the Jack-train, but he’s there now, proud Uncle Dean.

“I think I’ll need a birth certificate and a, uh,” he glances at a list he’s been making on a piece of paper, “a social security number?”

Dean nods. “Okay. I can take care of that. I know a guy.”

He’s happy with both Cas’ and Jack’s answers.

/fade out to the next scene, scores starts back up, idk maybe we use a rock song here?/

There are a few wide shots of regular people going on about their lives, animals in the fields, people walking the streets, life going on, etc. Then we start to see all the people we know who are still alive, living their lives…Garth, Charlie & Stevie being happy and domestic, Jody & Donna & the girls, Bobby, other people idk, Jack walking onto campus with a backpack over his shoulder & smiling on his first day of college, Sam and Eileen cooking in her kitchen & cute-kissing & being adorably cute together like so smushy cute.

/fade into the next scene/ Cas is at the kitchen table researching, Dean walks in and heads to the fridge.

He asks, “You got anything, Cas?”

Cas says, “I think there is a nest of vampires in ***insert place*** and a poltergeist in ***insert place***. You could probably take care of one and hit the other on your way back. And for your pleasure, you will pass by ***something like the world’s largest ball of string***.”

Dean grins, thrilled about the cheesy tourist trap idea, “Oh, I’m down with that. You in?”

Cas gives his doubtful face. “It’s Jack’s first week of school.”

Dean nods, “Say no more. I’ll call Sammy.”

/Final scene – music starts, Ramble On by Led Zeppelin/

Dean is standing outside Eileen’s apartment, at the back of the Impala, with the trunk open. Sam comes out with a duffel, tosses it in the trunk among the other weapons. We see the classic shot from the trunk POV of the two boys. Sam smiles, content, ready. “We got work to do.” The trunk slams shut. We see the boys get in the Impala, shut their doors at exactly the same time. The view is from the back of the car as it revs up and starts off down the road.

Ramble On plays as we watch the Impala drive off until we can no longer see it.

Cut to credit screen that reads – “Carry on, my wayward sons & daughters. Thank you for 15 years of memories.” - Love, Eric, Jensen, Jared, Misha and the entire SPN cast & crew.

Boom, bam, credits roll.

(Sorry, I can’t for the life of me figure out a Read More break)

#my post #spn fic #spn ending #supernatural #spn #spn finale #spn fanfic #fanfic #fic #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jack #deanxcas #samxeileen #my fic #my thoughts #spn thoughts #my writing

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jungkookfeelz · 4 years

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Beautiful Life

Description: Bangtan never imagined they would have to deal with the sudden death of their best friend.

Words: 3K

Notes: This was so fucking sad for me to write, holy crap. This was my first real angst story. Hope you enjoy it (kind of)

Warnings: Talks about death, if you’re sensitive to death as a topic, I suggest you don’t read beyond this point.

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Not my work, credit goes to the original owner

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You never thought of how you would die, but dying to save another from the ultimate doom is the most heroic way to go. Death was a touchy subject to you, you were afraid of what you didn't know, Not knowing where you would end up after you die, would it be a perfect haven for your soul to rest in or would you be consumed by darkness for the rest of eternity? You never wanted to think about the topic for too long or you'd start to tremble. Because of that you loved life and what it had to offer, the beautiful flowers that bloomed at the beginning of spring or the icy cold winds in the winter, you never took advantage of what you were offered, you always had a smile on your face, always wanted to help others without a second thought, never thought about yourself in the process.

"If you can make another person happy, for even just a moment, then it's worth all your efforts" your mother would always tell you. Ever since your mother died you worked so hard to make her proud by your selfless acts, you wanted to keep her memory alive and if acting like how she did made it feel like she was there, then you would be as charitable as you can be.

You worked at the BigHit company as an editor, you edited from music videos to Bangtan's 'Run' episodes. You naturally became close to the boys due to working at the company for so long, just as long as Jungkook has when he first became a trainee. You admired the men greatly, they trained so hard to get where they are now, becoming one of the most famous groups internationally. You watched them laugh, cry, sweat to get to their dreams, you have never been prouder of them. At this moment you were editing a 'Run' episode, giggling every time the boys did something stupid on camera which in that case made you laugh a lot.

"What are you laughing at?" Jimin teased putting his hands on the back of your chair

"You boys are such idiots, it's not even funny" You suppressed a giggle again

"Well, you're laughing so I say otherwise" He smiled down at you. While there were no romantic feelings between you and the other boys, you loved each other. You were family.

"Okay, okay, you got me" You spun around in the chair quite dramatically making him laugh again, his eyes disappearing as his lips widened.

"Come on, you can finish that later, come hang out with us!" Jimin begged, pouting. You rolled your eyes at the childish behavior "Please?"

"Fine, but you owe me" You groaned, you were so going to get in trouble for skipping work

"Deal!" Jimin grabbed your hand and ran, dragging you behind him. You walked into the dance studio where you could right away see Jungkook imitating his older friend Jin

"Y/N, come check this out" Yoongi exclaimed as soon as you walked in, Jimin let go of you so he can go see the fuss that Jungkook was making, letting you walk over to the rapper. Yoongi smiled and handed you a phone with some earbuds right when you sat down beside him. You didn't even have to communicate, you already knew what he wanted. You put the earbuds in your ears and he pressed the 'play' button. You closed your eyes and listened to the melody that played in your ears, it was beautiful, to say the least, you welled up in tears before the song even finished.

"Yoongi...it's just...it's beautiful" You whispered, wiping your face in case any tears slipped out. You could tell you embarrassed him by the pink hues on the tip of his ears and cheeks. He put a hand on his neck and rubbed it whilst having his head down

"Thanks, Y/N, I still need the lyrics, and we have to make choreography for it, there's still so much to do" he muttered, sighing as he put his head against the wall behind him. You put your hands over his that was on his lap and shook your head

"It doesn't matter what else you have to do, you should be proud of what you made, I promise you this song will make you legends" Yoongi looked at you and grinned, bringing out his gummy smile, you smiled instantly. You both got up and walked hand in hand to the rest of the group.

"Okay, you have got to teach me how to dance" you have always wanted to dance but never had the money to pay for dance classes, the only time you danced was when you and your mom danced in the living room of your small apartment to whatever was on the radio when you got home from school as a child. The neighbors always complained but you two never cared, your father went away on trips since he was a truck driver so it was mostly just you and your mom, but you didn't mind, your heart aches when you remember those moments.

"I'll teach you! I'm the best dance after all" Namjoon winked, everyone including yourself laughed. You couldn't ask for better people to spend your life on Earth with. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Okay guys, I seriously have to go now, my plane is going to leave without me in it!" You whined making them all chuckle at your cuteness, you were taking some time from work to see your family, your father was having a little bit of trouble fending for himself since he had an accident and broke his arm. The boys were trying to keep you from going and offering that they could bring your father to where you were staying with the band so you wouldn't have to leave. Your heart warmed at the fact that they wanted you to stay by there side and almost took them on that offer but decided that you needed to go home, you haven't been there in a long time hadn't seen your mother, you've neglected to go for a long time and have had guilt eat it's way at you for months because of it

"Guys let go of Y/N, she will be back in a few months, stop pestering her" Jin ordered which made the Maknae line let go of you immediately, you giggled slightly and sent an appreciative smile towards Jin.

"This is the last call for flight 263 to Miryang, again this is the last call for flight 263 to Miryang"

"I love you guys...so much" You sobbed, shaking your head while walking backward towards the terminal because you knew if you didn't make some sort of distance between you and all of them you wouldn't leave, one might think you're being dramatic acting like you'll never see them again but spending 24/7 with them, it feels odd to even spend one day without at least one of them, you knew they felt the same way as they looked at you with such sadness, regret for not changing your mind sooner. You could see Taehyung wipe a tear out of his eye, you could hear Jungkook sniffling and noticed that Hoseok hiding his face since he was also about to cry and didn't want to show it. You were going to miss your crazy boys.

"We love you too Y/N, we will see you soon" Namjoon's promised, his voice wavered but he maintained a strong look on the outside.

"I promise, when you get back we'll be legends" Yoongi grinned, reminding you of the conversation you both had about their music not even a couple of days ago. You winked at all of them, blowing a kiss before turning around and into the terminal, losing sight of them. You didn't know that this moment was the last moment you would ever see your boys again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's been a few weeks since you came home, your father was recovering very well which made you beam in happiness. You went to your mother's memorial multiple times since you've been back, trying to make up some time that you lost. You didn't go a day without talking to the boys, skyping on most nights when they weren't at practices and texting non-stop on your group chat all day long, it was like you never left which. They were working hard and making huge impacts in their career, they mentioned that they were given a chance to go an American award show and perform which they promised they'd take you as their plus one which made you squeal, you've always wanted to go.

Hope - OMG Y/N GUESS WHAT!

Y/N - What? What happened?

Jungkookie - We WON 'best record' AND 'best album' of the year!

Hoseok - Seriously Jungkook? I was gonna tell her!

Chim - Oh it doesn't matter, WE WON

Y/N - Holy shit, I am so proud of you guys, I told you this would happen did I not!?

Yoongs - You did...thanks Y/N we couldn't have done it without you

Nams - Thats true

Chim - Oh yeah

Hope - Yesss

"Sweetheart do you mind walking over to the store, it isn't too far from the house," your father asked you walking into the living room, your phone vibrated in your hand

"Of course I don't mind" You kissed your father's cheek before grabbing your purse and coat. You took a glance at your phone and decided you would respond when you get back from the store.

Jin - When are you coming backkkk we want to go out and celebrate with you

TaeTae - Yeah we miss you, it's not the same without you D;

"Bye dad" You grinned, you couldn't help but be happy, your boys worked so hard and they are finally getting everything they deserved, you couldn't wait to come back to Seoul and celebrate their accomplishments

"See you soon kiddo" You closed the door and walked out onto the sidewalk, it's dark and chilly since it's practically winter in Kores so you wrap your arms around yourself and walk faster than you'd like, you got to the store within ten minutes. You grabbed a cart and started stacking up food that you wanted to make for the next few days for your dad. Since he is getting his cast off in two weeks, you would be able to come home sooner than planned, you smiled at the image of their shocked faces when you would show up at their door early. As soon as you were done grabbing the food and paying, you headed outside smiling at the cashier on your way out. You were walking past an intersection that was about a block from your house when you noticed a little girl walking across the street not understand there was oncoming traffic, her mother wasn’t looking at her child and was only paying attention to her phone, you gasped and dropped the bags on the ground sprinting after her knowing the cars won’t stop for her, she was too small for them to notice her presence, not caring about anyone else but that little girl you shoved people to the side and got onto the street in time. You noticed a vehicle approaching faster than it should. You couldn’t let her die, she was too young, she had so much to live for, you had to save her, even if you lose yours in the process.

"No!" You screamed pushing your legs to move faster, you got close enough to push her hard enough that she lands onto the sidewalk on the other side of the intersection, hearing her loud cries made you relax visibly before you remembered the vehicle. The other pedestrians yelled and tried to help by waving at the vehicle to get them to stop but you didn't notice them, all you heard was the buzzing in your ears and the black spots that you saw. You whipped your head fast enough to see the car right in front of you, close enough that you knew you couldn’ run.

Everything started to work in slow motion, a silent tear slid down your face as a blinding white light filled your sight from the headlights before the car collided into you. Then everything went dark.

You never thought of how you would die, but dying to save another from the ultimate doom is the most heroic way to go. Would the afterlife be a perfect haven for your soul to rest in or would you be consumed by darkness for the rest of eternity? All you knew is that saving that little girl was something you would never regret. You were proud that that was the way God decided your fate ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It took six days for Namjoon and the rest of Bangtan to find out about your death, the manager thought it was the best way for the group to find out about their friends' sudden death. Namjoon was devastated, he didn't know how to tell the group, you had made such an impact on all of them that it would crush their hearts to find out. It was at the time when they were getting a few days off to relax before their world tour.

"Namjoon, we have to talk" The manager grabbed Namjoon and put him away from the rest of the boys who were getting ready to go back to their apartment to rest.

"Yes, Hyung?" Namjoon was confused, they had finished everything, and if anything was wrong, the manager usually talked to them all. Their manager looked around nervously, playing with his tie.

"This is really hard to say..." the manager hesitated

"It's okay Hyung, you can tell me" Namjoon tried to sooth his manager by putting his hand on his shoulder

"Y/N is dead" Everything stopped for him, he couldn't remember how to breathe. His hand fell from his Hyun's shoulder. Y/N's dead? You couldn't be, you were supposed to come home in a few more weeks, you were all supposed to celebrate the win of the group, you just can't be dead. Noticing the lack of response from the leader, seeing as he wasn't breathing the manager tried consoling him

"Hey, breath in and out, you're going to be okay" the manager put his hand on the younger man's neck and made Namjoon look at him in the eye to make sure he was responding. After a few more seconds of silence, Namjoon broke it

"...How...how..." he couldn't even finish the sentence, he felt like throwing up. "Heroically, she saved a little girl from a drunk driver" Namjoon nodded, he couldn't speak. He was proud of you for saving the child but he was selfish, he wanted you to come back to him.

"Go back to the others. Go home and tell them when you are ready" the manager patted Namjoon's back and escorted him back, as soon as he heard the other voices he had to pretend he didn't just hear the worst news.

"Oh my god, Jungkook stop poking me" Jimin whined making Jungkook laugh and the cuteness of his Hyung. After a few minutes, everyone was ready and piled into the van to escort them back to their shared apartment. Namjoon was holding it together but barely. The other members were too busy goofing off to notice Namjoon's poor attitude, which in the end he was glad they didn't realize. But as soon as they got back and Hoseok mentioned your name his demeanor cracked. He broke down in the middle of their living room, falling onto his knees

"Whoa did I say something?" Hoseok asked looking around at the other boys in shock. Jin was the first one to react and got onto his knees and put a hand on Namjoon, he right away leaned into the oldest member and sobbed into his shoulder.

"It's okay, you're okay" Jin patted Namjoon's back until he calmed himself enough. He wiped his tears while looking at the floor if he broke down like this, how was he supposed to tell the others

"Hyung?" Jungkook asked when Namjoon quieted down

"She's dead" he whispered, he barely heard himself

"What?" Taehyung asked he didn't know if he heard Namjoon, he prayed he didn't understand what he had said

"She's dead" Namjoon took his eyes off of the floor and into the eyes of the other members

"...No..." Yoongi hesitated before finishing his sentence "she can't be fucking dead"

"H-how did she...pass?" Jin asked, pursing his lips at what he had asked like he ate a sour lime.

"She died saving a little girl from a drunk driver.." Namjoon quoted their manager.

"I can't believe this is happening, please tell me I'm dreaming" Hoseok breathed out, staring wide-eyed at Namjoon, hoping this is another practical joke that he didn't understand.

"I'm so sorry" Namjoon started sobbing again, he couldn't force another sentence, doing that it made the rest of the boys follow along with him. Jimin couldn't even mutter a word, just staring blankly at the floor in front of him. Why did you have to leave him? He was angry, he had too many thoughts running in his head that he couldn't think straight. How could you be so selfish to leave him? Jimin picked up a glass from the kitchen table and threw it against the wall and screamed, no one stopped him. The rest of the night all you could hear are sobs, sniffles, and words of consolement for one another. They will never be the same. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The cheering of thousands of fans was so loud while waited for their favorite idols to come out and entertain them, while that was happening the boys were getting ready quietly. It hasn't been long since your funeral and so the boys still couldn't comprehend that you weren't coming back, you weren't coming home to them. The only reason that they can get up every morning is that you're now in a better place, you get to watch them in peace, with that big smile that could light up a room. They wanted you to be proud of them so they worked non-stop since your death.

"Remember when Y/N used to come to our dressing room before our shows and dance her stupid little routine for us, so we wouldn't freak out before getting on stage," Jimin said while putting his jacket on, smiling down at the memory. The rest of the group looked up in surprise, Jimin hasn't said your name since he found out about your passing. His recovery from your absence was slower than the rest of the boys. Recovering from the shock they all smiled lightly, imagining you doing the dance now.

"It was a god-awful dance, wasn't it? We never did give her those dancing lessons" Hoseok chuckled, it was deep, full of dark emotions instead of light ones.

"Or when she would put little notes of encouragement on our mirrors when we don't notice" Jungkook looked up from fiddling with his hands, he bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from tearing up at the thought of you.

"She was pretty sneaky, wasn't she? Taehyung nodded, showing off his boxy grin while looking over at the youngest member.

"She was the best part of all of us...but we need to go out there and make her proud, okay?" Namjoon stood up from his chair and put his hand out, the rest of the boys got up and put their hands on top of one another

"For Y/N" Namjoon mumbled

"For Y/N" Everyone responded while lifting their hands up at the same time. They quietly walked down the hallway and got under the stage to be able to get lifted up to it. The roaring of the fans was the only thing they could hear. They all took deep breathes before getting lifted into the view of their fans and back into their lives as idols.

#angst #bts angst #bts fanfic #im crying #this is so sad #bts imagines #bts yoongi #bts jimin #bts jin #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts hoseok #bts taehyung

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gaamagirl565 · 4 years

Text

MotH S2 Finale

Matters of the heart Season 2 episode 15 Fanning the flames {OPENING CREDITS} {open to Isaiah and Benny being led into the hideout with their hands bound; behind them, Gaia is being pulled in with a muzzle around her snout; Isaiah looks tiredly around at the hideouts stone walls before coming to a large wooden door; once it’s opened a cult member kicks him from behind} Cult member 1: Get moving kid! {Isaiah glares at them but does as told and walks into the large tactical room; Larkspur turns around and faces them} Larkspur: What is this!? Vergus! Vergus: Forgive me mistress. we did obtain the supplies we set out to collect but we also found some other points of interest. {Larkspur walks up to them and bends over to meet Isaiah face to face} Larkspur: I'm surprised you survived... and judging from your deteriorated state I'm guessing you still have the power, yes? {Isaiah spits at her} Larkspur: Insolent little-! {She smacks him to the side; Isaiah harshly hits the ground} Isaiah: AUGH! Benny: Isaiah!! Larkspur: and who is this one? Vergus: we don't know she appears to have been traveling with the child. but she's quite strong for a little girl. she wasn't easy to capture. {Cult member 2 holds up his bitten hand} Cult member 2: really not easy… Larkspur: whatever the cost it was worth it. good job you three. we finally have the upper hand. we tried to do this peacefully but you people of Corona love making things so very difficult. you just had to ruin things, didn't you? Isaiah: you're the only one ruining things… Larkspur: do you want another crack to the face?... I thought not. I have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to best your kingdom once again. and now I think I finally have an idea. your father has always been a thorn in my side. but now I have you. Isaiah: in case you haven't noticed…. I'm not exactly in the best state right now... how can I possibly be of any use? Larkspur: see that's the best part you don't have to do anything. you said so yourself you're too weak to do anything. meaning I can do whatever I want to you and you can't fight back for the life of you. {Larkspur looks up at the Vergus} Larkspur: so here's my plan. Vergus, you stay here with a few members and keep an eye on the boy and the Vessel. meanwhile I'm going to take a small group and go to Corona. I think it's about high time I invited Varian to a little soiree! but this isn't just going to be any little shindig. for what he's done to us that Alchemist deserves to burn. will let him see his precious Boy again and will even remove the power from him. Vergus: Mistress? Larkspur: however once the main event is done how about we play a little party game. Benny: p-party game? Larkspur: that's right sweetheart a fun little party game. The Alchemist will have his son back free of any power. and we will have the moonstone shard. However the ending to this game will turn in our favor. once we have The Shard in our clutches why don't we play a little game of family Massacre? Isaiah: *gasp* Larkspur: well I never said it'd be fun for you... take them to the cells. and make sure they’re locked good and tight. Vergus: Yes mistress. {They start dragging Isaiah to the cells; once there the throw Isaiah, Benny, and Gaia into different cells; Isaiah lands harshly in the cell next to Cassandra; Cassandra gasps and runs to the side of her cell} Cassandra: Isaiah! how on Earth are you here!? {Isaiah lies still groaning slightly} Benny: those bad guys captured us and took us here… Cassandra: he doesn't look good... it's becoming too much for him. Benny: what is? Cassandra: he doesn't have much left... look, little girl… Benny: Benny! Cassandra: sorry... Benny... Isaiah is very sick and the fact that he's here means that the bad people that brought you here are planning something really bad. Benny: can we stop them? {Cassandra looks down at Isaiah and back at benny} Cassandra: I don't know.. I really don't. {Cut to Zapada resting in a chair in the parlor with baby Sterling in her arms and Rapunzel at her side} Rapunzel: Ohhhh! He’s so cute! Zapada: Yes he was born a bit sooner than I thought he'd be... but the village physician says that he's healthy so I suppose it's all right. Rapunzel: you just have to remember to keep him warm especially with fall just getting here. early birds like this one are prone to getting sick. Yes, you are! Yes, you are! {Rapunzel boops Sterling’s nose; off to the side of the room Varian and Eugene watch them} Eugene: I’ll hand it to you he's a cute little guy. Varian: I'm just happy that they're both okay. speaking of that I know this is a tender moment but I think we should focus on what our plan is now that we have the hideouts location. Eugene: you're right. we need to make a plan. we shouldn't just be running headfirst into a battle. Varian: yeah about that… Eugene: that's exactly what you were going to do isn't it? Varian: originally yes... I'll admit I got a bit overzealous… Eugene: look I know what they did to your family is terrible but we have to keep our heads if we run in there right now with absolutely no plan we’ll be walking right into their hands. Varian: That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to apologize if I've come off as... you know… {Eugene looks downtrodden and pulls him out into the hall} Varian: Eugene? Eugene: I should have said this before... I'm sorry too. Varian: for what? Eugene: Rapunzel and I came up with a plan to meet the cult on the North Shore cliffs. we came up with the plan to Ambush them. I promised I'd always protect the kid. I know that... no amount of apologies could ever replace what you and Zapada have lost but- {Varian pulls him into a hug} Varian: Eugene none of this was your fault. you were doing what you thought was right as king and captain of the Guard. I am always going to miss my son. that is never going to change but I'm not going to let you sit here and blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault. I've been down that road. It’s not fun. {Eugene smiles at him before hearing the main door open; he looks up and his face contorts in horror; Varian whips around to see Larkspur entering} Larkspur: What a touching little moment that I just walked in on. sorry to spoil it. You two Go. {Two cult members shove past Varian and Eugene into the parlor: Zapada screams as she and Rapunzel have swords put against their throats} Varian: NO! {Eugene unsheathes his sword; Noremoth comes running down the stairs} Larkspur: Norie! Noremoth: Larkspur? Larkspur: I'm so happy to see that you're okay! {She goes to hug him but he moves away from her} Larkspur: aww are we still sour about the Battle? Noremoth: you left me behind to die of course I'm still sour! I will never not be sour! Varian: What are you doing here and what do you want!? Larkspur: so rude. I came all this way just to see you. I have a little gift. {Noremoth narrows his eyes} Larkspur: however you see this gift is quite tedious to carry around so if you wouldn't mind coming back to my place to receive it. it would be a huge help. Varian: We’ll never go anywhere with you! for all we know we could be walking straight into a trap! Larkspur: I thought you might say that. {Larkspur snaps her fingers and a cult member rips Sterling from Zapada’s arms} Zapada: NO! Rapunzel: PUT HIM DOWN! Varian: DON’T HURT HIM! Noremoth: Larkspur that is enough! Return the child to it’s mother immediately! Larkspur: Ah ah ah! I think you forget who has the upper hand here. with one word my men here could dispose of the two women and the little baby. I don't think you have a choice but to listen to my demands. {Varian looks at Eugene} Eugene: what do you want? Larkspur: just as I said I want to take Varian and his family back to my place so that they can see the little gift I prepared for them. however you and the queen will stay here. and if I suspect anybody of following us just the slightest little hint and I will destroy all of them. do I make myself clear your majesty? Varian: Trust me he understands. we’ll do as you say. Eugene: Varian! Varian: Eugene we do not have a choice. we'll be fine. Noremoth: I request that I come along as well. Larkspur: oh does little Norie what to re-join our ranks? Noremoth: don't put words in my mouth.I'm coming along to make sure that you don't get ahead of yourself. Larkspur: excuse me? Noremoth: these people have done more for me in 2 weeks then you have done for me my entire time in your little cult. Larkspur: and you honestly think you could defeat all of us? Noremoth: I'd go down trying at least. Larkspur: find then you can come along but we're doing things my way… {She snaps her fingers and cult member cuffs him} Varian: noremoth! Noremoth: you are just not a nice lady! what did I ever see in you!? Larkspur: come on let's get moving. Varian: wait! Zapada just had a baby... she can't walk very far. she needs to rest. if you want all of us to arrive there alive you'll give her one of the horses {Larkspur glares him down but smirks} Larkspur: Alright...Prepare a horse. Noremoth: no tying her to the horse, Larkspur! Larkspur:...killjoy...finneee... {The cult member returns Sterling to Zapada and she holds him tightly crying; Varian rushes over and picks her up bridal style and follows the cult outside} Zapada: Varian? Varian: we're going to be okay... I promise. {Cut back to the cells at the hideout; Isaiah coughs and wheezes before rolling over} Cassandra: he's getting worse… Benny: what was your first hint? the coughing, the fever, or the relentless groaning? Cassandra: all right this isn't a time for sass little girl. Benny: sorry but we have to do something! at this rate he's going to die. {Isaiah opens his eyes to see Cassandra reaching through the bars to stroke his hair; he gasps before coughing and backing away} Isaiah: Miss...Cass? Cassandra: Hey kid... nice to see you again. Isaiah: How long have I been out? Cassandra: a few hours maybe? it's hard to tell time in here. Isaiah: what's happening to me? Cassandra: Zhan tiri’s power... it's becoming too much for you to handle. your body is giving out on you. Isaiah: I have to find... a way out of here… {He tries to get up and move toward the cell door} Cassandra: there is no way you are going anywhere in that state. Isaiah: that's what you think... Benny are you okay to move? Benny: mmhmm! Isaiah: okay good... I'm going to try and find something to pick the lock and then- augh! {He coughs up more black liquid and it runs down his chin; his new claw-like nails scratch at the stone floor leaving marks} Cassandra: don't push yourself, kid! { Isaiah glares up at her with a blackened mouth} Isaiah: I don't take orders from you… {The door to the room opens and Vergus walks in} Vergus: are we having fun? getting along okay? Cassandra: if you’ve just come to patronize us get out… Vergus: cranky today, sweet vessel? Cassandra: call me that again and see what happens! Vergus: oooh! we are feisty today! anyway I'm not here for either of you. I'm here for this one. {Turns and looks at benny} Isaiah: Benny! {Benny gets in a defense position} Vergus: HA! isn't that cute? This tiny tot actually thinks she can fight me. that's just adorable. but I'm not here for that either I'm actually here to offer you a proposition. Benny: what's a..propo- Cassandra: a proposition... he's making you an offer of some sort. Benny: What do you want? Vergus: well most of our group are older people. adults who have nothing left to lose. that's why they join us. Society has treated them wrongly for many years. We’re just evening the playing field. Cassandra: get to the point, Vergus! Vergus: my point is you've had it quite rough. I can tell. those Rags you're wearing, your small frame. you haven't had a good meal in ages have you. probably haven't slept in a nice bed and quite a while. we have all of those here. and we'd protect you. Benny: what are you saying? {Vergus unlocks the cell door and holds it open} Vergus: join us. we can teach you all the tricks. make sure you grow up right. you'll be the first of a new generation in a new Society. you'll have a family. {Benny looks up at him and he smirks. She looks over at Isaiah and walks over to the open door} Isaiah: No...benny.. {Benny places a hand on the cell door bars; she contemplates for a minute before glancing up at Vergus with rage; she slams the door closed on his fingers with her inside the cell} Vergus: AAAAUUUUGGHHHH!!! Benny: I'd rather be with Isaiah then be big old ugly meanie like you! {Vergus clutches his broken and bruised fingers} Vergus: URRGHH! ROT IN HERE FOR ALL I CARE! {He storms out; Benny’s legs give out} Isaiah: Benny... are you okay? Benny:...I-I’m okay… Cassandra: kid... you just did what I wish I could have done a million times over. I like your spunk. {cut to Varian walking with the group; Noremoth walks up next to him} Noremoth: When we get there try not to be yourself. Varian: what? Noremoth: you like to be snarky... especially when you're in battle. Varian: what do you want me to do? roll over like a dog? Noremoth:... just this once? Varian: …I can't believe this. Noremoth: if not for me do it for your family. Larkspur isn't like me. she doesn't have a code or anything when it comes to fighting. she kills without Mercy. you should already know that. Varian: trust me... that I already know. {They reach the hide out entrance; a large stone door is carved into the side of the mountain; Larkspur knocks in a rhythm and it opens} Larkspur: hurry up. let's not diddle daddle. Opps! sorry did that bring back some, I know the word “dad” was in that word. Varian: son of a- {Noremoth holds him back; Larkspur walks in giggling} Varian: you carved your hideout into the mountain? Larkspur: actually know these tunnels were already here. this used to be a mine. we just added some personality. some blood here, a skull over there... you know to really breathe life into the place. {A skeleton with his skull off to the side slumps in the corner of the hall; Zapada winces and holds onto Sterling} Larkspur: What? oh him? yes obtaining this place was a bit tedious. the original owner of the mine was still here. Luckily Norie took care of that as you can see. {Noremoth bites his lip; Larkspur throws open the doors to the main commons room; all of the cult looks over in shock; Larkspur steps up on a small stone stage} Larkspur: gather around everyone! there's a lot of fun to be had today! {Varian helps zapada off the horse} Larkspur: right. you there you can take the horse back to the Stables. and where is Vergus? Cult member: he was seriously injured earlier we were forced to amputate some of his fingers. Larkspur: oh for the love of... you leave them alone for 5 minutes. you know what I'm talking about Varian, haha! {Varian growls} Larkspur: anyway could somebody please go to the cells and take everyone out. I want you to bring them here. Cult member: Yes, mistress! {They run out the door} Varian: are you going to tell us what we're here for now? Larkspur: Patience Varian! you can't just jump right into the main event! you have the moonstone Shard yes? {Varian glares at her} Larkspur: I'll take that as a yes. how's about we make a deal? Zapada: a deal? Larkspur: yes... an exchange of sorts! I have something you want and you have something I want! Varian: knowing you whatever you have is certainly not something I want. Larkspur: oh I beg to differ! you can come in now! don't leave us waiting! {The cult member walks in with Cassandra and Benny whilst practically dragging Isaiah; Varian’s eyes widen and his pupils dilate} Isaiah: D-dad? Varian: IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE- Larkspur: not at all! aren't you happy to see him? I assure you he's real. Isaiah: DADDY! {Varian tears up and sobs; he goes to run to him but is held back by various cult members} Varian: LET ME GO! Noremoth: Larkspur what is your game here!? Larkspur: you see I sent some people to regain some supplies from the damage you did to us those weeks ago. and what do they find instead but your precious little boy. being the Good Samaritan I am I brought him back here and treated him as an honored guest. he got the nicest cell! Zapada: Copilul meu! Larkspur: well, I did find your son but he seems to be in Dire Straits. seems like the magic is finally working its power. his body can only hold out for so long. if you give me the moonstone Shard I'll be more than happy to remove his affliction and let you go on your way. what do you say? I'm being more than generous. { Varian looks around at everyone and then at his son; with a sigh, he removes the vial with the shard} Larkspur: very good Alchemist! and just to make sure things stay even. Noremoth! I want you to bring me the shard and someone else can bring me the child. no wrong moves here. don't take advantage of my good nature. {noremoth walks over to Varian} Noremoth: give me The Shard... Varian she's not kidding she will slit Isaiah's throat in front of you if she suspects anything.you have one shot to actually get your son back here don't blow it. Varian: how can I be sure that's really Isaiah? Larkspur: excuse me? {Isaiah looks tiredly over at his father} Varian: I want to believe that is my son. I really do. I won't deny that this is a dream come true for me right now. but I saw him die. Larkspur: no. you saw him fall off a cliff. my only guess is that the power triggered itself like a defense mechanism. afraid that its host was going to perish. that's the only reason your boy survived. but since you're so insistent. {She snaps her fingers; a cult member makes a small cut on Isaiah’s arm} Isaiah: AHH! Varian: STOP! PLEASE! OKAY! Larkspur: see? he's real! he bleeds! Varian:.. I... I'm sorry buddy. {Varian hands over the vial to Noremoth; Isaiah is dragged up on stage; Noremoth brings over the shard and takes it out of the vial} Noremoth: you have the Blasted shard. now... do what you promised. {Larkspur takes out the vial of potion and roughly grips Isaiah’s mouth, forcing it open} Isaiah: ah! {she pours the liquid into his mouth and shoves him to the ground; Isaiah swallows the iron tasting concoction; his eyes glow bright green and pink and crackles of magic appear around him} Benny: ‘Saiah!! {He claws at his chest coughing and hacking; Varian pulls Zapada and Sterling close; Larkspur sits looking at her nails; Isaiah coughs up a black substance onto the ground and gasps for air} Larkspur: There! all better? his Affliction has been removed. {Isaiah shakily gets up} Varian: Isaiah? Isaiah: Dad? DADDY! {Isaiah jumps off the stage and runs into his family’s arms: sobbing all the while} Isaiah: Dad! I mi-missed you so much! Varian: My boy...you’re really here…my little boy. {he cups his sons face and wipes his tears away} Zapada: oh Copilul meu! I thought you gone! Isaiah: I’m here Zapada... {Noremoth and Cassandra smile warmly} Larkspur: aw What a touching family reunion! now what do you say? Varian:... thank you… Larkspur: oh trust me Varian... you're going to wish you hadn't thanked to me. {Noremoth notices her pull a sword from the stand behind her; Noremoth gasps and shoves her over} Noremoth: IT’S A TRAP! {larkspur gets up} Larkspur: KILL THE- AH! {Larkspur turned around to see Benny holding rocks as she has just thrown one at her} Larkspur: Little brat! Noremoth: VARIAN! {He tosses a sword at him; Varian catches it; Cassandra looks up at the chandelier in the room and then back at Benny} Cassandra: how many of those rocks do you have? Benny: umm... like maybe six? Cassandra: good enough! { she grabs Benny and throws her up to the chandelier} Benny: WHOA! Hehe! Lets do that again! Cassandra: start throwing the rocks at everyone! {Cassandra Goes to run into battle but her own power starts taking her over} Cassandra: augh! Varian: Cassandra! {Isaiah grabs more rocks and helps benny by chuck stones at the cult members; he hits one in the head and watches them drop} Isaiah: bullseye! {Cut to Noremoth fighting Larkspur} Larkspur: So should I take this as your official resignation from our little group? Noremoth: what do you think!? {She blocks and parries him} Larkspur: you want to know what I think!? I think your roast duck was always dry! Noremoth:.... oh now that's just hurtful! {Varian protects Zapada the best he can by fending off multiple attacks} Zapada: Varian! Let me do something! Varian: like what!? Zapada; ummmm {she looks around and gets an idea} Zapada: grab my waist! {Varian blushes} Zapada: oh stop it and just do it! {He does so} Varian: Okay I have your waist and now what!? Zapada: spin. Varian: what? Zapada: spin! { he spins and Zapada kicks her legs out kicking the ones surrounding them in the face} Zapada: I learned that one from the princess. and all with a newborn in my arms. {Sterling giggles; Cut to Benny on the Chandelier; she hears cracking and looks up to see the chandelier getting ready to fall} Benny: oh that's not good! {she jumps just as it starts falling} Benny: AHHH- OOF! {Isaiah catches her} Benny: ‘SAIAH! Isaiah: you know I've heard of taking the quick way down but that was ridiculous. Noremoth: AUGHHH! {Everyone turns to look just as Cassandra has run Noremoth through with a sword; Noremoth coughs and sputters before falling to his knees} Varian: NOREMOTH! Larkspur: well... this is what happens when you betray the people closest to you. and without further ado! {she forces the Moonstone Shard into Cassandra's chest; A bright light shines it envelops her; Cassandra screams in response; what was once just a shard starts reforming into a corrupt Stone; Sandra's eyes flickering color as she starts losing her own conscience} Larkspur: HAHAHA! YES! FINALLY! { some of the cult members back away and even run} Isaiah: Dad! what do we do!? { Varian looks on in horror at what he's witnessing; he rushes over and swings Noremoth’s arm over his shoulder} Varian: RUN! { the walls of The Hideout start cracking and rocks begin falling from the ceiling as Zhan tiri’s power takes over Cassandra’s mind; her eyes turn a bright purple; Isaiah grabs Benny and runs out with his family just as the entrance to the mine collapses; they all look back at the Fallen rocks that are now blocking what was the entrance to the mine} Zapada: is everyone all right? Isaiah:Yeah... I think I am. Benny are you okay? Benny: i’m okay… Isaiah: What about Noremoth? {Varian takes out an alchemy sphere and releases it over Noremoths wound cauterizing it} Noremoth: NNGH! Varian: it's all I can do for right now... it'll stop the bleeding at least. he's going to have to see the doctor in Corona. {Isaiah hugs them both} Isaiah: I missed you guys so much! Varian: we missed you too... more than you'll ever. I'm so happy to see that you're alive. how did you survive? Isaiah: I don't know! I don't remember much. I remember falling into the water but then one of my attacks started happening. then I remember waking up on a ship and then. they took me to the dark Kingdom! I got to see the dark Kingdom dad! oh by the way some really furry Hunter guy and the captain that saved me says hi. {Varian laughs} Varian: hi! Ahaha! Isaiah: By the way I was wanting to ask but we were in the middle of a battle so I didn't think it was the best time but.. who is this? {Isaiah looks at Sterling and both Varian and Zapada smile} Zapada: Copilul meu... meet your little brother, Sterling. Isaiah: sterling!? I have a little brother and you used my name!? {Sterling giggles and smiles} Isaiah: hi! hi little guy! I promise I'm going to be the best big brother I could ever be! { Varian looks over at Benny who's standing in the background} Varian: Isaiah? who is that? Isaiah: oh! Benny c’mere! Dad this is Verbena or benny! she helped me when I was in the dark Kingdom! I wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for her! Benny: hi… Zapada: Where are your parents? surely they're worried sick! Isaiah: Benny is an orphan… {Zapada gasps and looks over at Varian; Varians face sofens} Varian: How old are you Benny? Benny: seven… Varian: 7 years old and surviving on your own? you shouldn't be forced to do that. tell you what. we have an extra room in the house. it seems like she is grown quite fond of you and you seemed quite fond of him. if you want you could always join our- {Benny tackles him} Varian: oof! haha! I'll take that as a yes! Benny: I finally have a mama and Daddy again! and I gets siblings!? YES! {The all hug each other; fade to the entrance of old Corona; Rapunzel walks up to Lily, Akina, and Nathaniel Rapunzel: Anything yet? Akina: Nothing ye- OH WAIT! {Everyone gets up; off in the distance Varian and family ride in on horseback} Akina: they're here! it looks like they returned safely! and- wait… Adira: what is it small one? Akina: it can't be… all: WHAT!? Akina: it's Isaiah... he's with them. Eugene: what!? {he grabs the eyeglass from her and looks through it; Eugene chokes up and laughs} Eugene: she's not kidding. he's alive! he's there with them! {Lily stands up} Lily: ISAIAHHH! {Isaiah singles his horse to gallop and the rest of the family follows with everybody else running up to the horses as well; once they reach each other Isaiah jumps off of the horse and tackles Lily to the ground with is two other friends joining in} Lily: You’re alive! You’re really here! {She sobs into him} Isaiah: yeah I'm really here. and I have something that I've been wanting to do since I left! Lily: wha-!? {Isaiah kisses her} Eugene: He-what..H-he's kissing my daughter. he's kissing my girl! hold up- wait- no. he is kissing Lily! Lance: Eugene let them have this. {Isaiah pulls away} Lily: okay I can officially say I am a happy princess… {Isaiah hugs all of his friends; awesome the distance at the entrance of the mine the rocks blocking it shift} {END CREDITS}

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel’s tangled adventure #Rapunzel #TTS #RTA #tts oc #rta oc #matters of the heart #MotH #Varian #Isaiah #Eugene Fitzherbert #Noremoth #Zapada

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tslasvegas · 3 years

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Episode 3: “UGH just rename Luxor to Loser” - Xavier

Well... that takes care of the Timmy problem... Love Timmy... Just didn’t know how our dynamic would be cus he was runner-up to the last survivor game I played which I won. Hm... Well...

That went well. There's nothing like a live video tribal to get people together. and stephen didn't react too badly. but i know now he won't work with me moving forward

I’m sorry I’m terrible at confessionals... So things are going well, I think we have a decent tribe but it is too soon to tell. I’m not a huge fan of creative challenges, at least from my previous game, I guess we will see how that goes. Most of the guys seem nice, still trying to feel everyone out.`

A 4-2 vote off is interesting. Someone is on the bottom for sure. Also, this next challenge is a creative challenge and when I do these solo I usually do really well. Hopefully I can channel that energy into a win for us here because two tribes are going to tribal. We’ll be down to 17 after this, so I’m not sure if we’d go into a tribe swap yet? Maybe 2 tribes of 8 with one person sitting out?

Oh hot dang, two tribes are going to tribal next time. Probably going to be us :( now it is time to make alliance chats!

....five seconds later

I suspect that after this double vote out that there will be a tribe swap. I hope I end up with Mo and Jaiden at least.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17NPxKO_TKgqjNqsaWlbmlL0jgU36Aygi/view?usp=drivesdk

I really like this challenge. I feel confident about it but at the same time nervous that 2 tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope my tribe wins this one since I still don't know how the tribe feels about me. Wish me luck guys!

My tribe is not going to win this immunity challenge. Our nightclub is due just hours away and we have little nothing done. I am going to have to scramble soon.....I did nothing to help my tribe with the challenge, so if it is me that goes, I would understand

....five seconds later

Honestly, I want to keep Jaiden and Mo around because I feel closer with them than anyone else. I want to keep Kailyn around because she seems to make time for challenges. Everyone else I am okay with going home, Ben hasn't really done anything soooooo maybe him? Oof

If we lose, then it's 2/3rds my fault and 1/3 Stephen. We better not be on the chopping block if we do lose. This is a two person Tribe as of now. Bobby Jon and Stephenie.

...five seconds later

UGH just rename Luxor to Loser

Second we lose Ben finally responded to my pm’s..... hm..... alright....

Y’all rlly won with a PowerPoint SKDJDJSKLALALL

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

youtube

All that hard work that went into this challenge really paid off! We scored the best and don’t have to attend tribal!! Which is absolutely exciting! Andrew told me he wanted to work together which is rad. Livingston and I want to work together which is radder. And Joey and i want to work together which is raddest. I haven’t spoken too much with Jeff lately even though we talked quite a bit early on. Pat and I speak occasionally. Stephanie and I didn’t really speak at all until recently but we’ve gotten into a good groove the last few days. I’m feeling pretty good about this game so far. I hope there’s no tribal swap or anything right away.

So when I get my chip total I'm gonna update Keegan. He is currently at a soap making class but I want him to know I am serious about working with him in this game and I think this is a good gesture. - keegan has let me know he has 4 chips and is willing to pool them over to me when we have enough so that we can unlock the store. I let him know I am okay with doing the same thing to him, whichever. But yes this is looking HOT for me. - "what's in the store?" | all i can really assume is advantages. we need 10 chips to unlock it. This is very similar to the Unnamed Season but the betting cap gives us more control. At this point, I don't think anyone can mathematically unlock without pooling chips. Keegan and I just need 1 more chip between us. Let's just hope we aren't separated by a swap or some shit. I am hoping for a bit more time on this amazing tribe to get that set up so I have a good idea of what the store holds.

We lost again!?!?!?!?!??! I am so surprised? Nah I'm kidding, but I don't care. I don't blame our team for losing because 3/5 of us were panicking because our president could be a cheetoh. I'm voting Stephen tonight, I hope the others follow suit. It SHOULD be simple, but 9 hours is a long time for Survivor; and if he knows it's him then might run around and create some chaos - which would be funny.

Rachael (love her she’s probably who I’m closest with along with DeNara and Kailyn) is not being subtle about the fact that she either has a pre-existing friendship with Ben or is currently aligned with Ben. Because Ben, from my knowledge has not been social with anyone, nor has he been super active and in our alliance chat with Kailyn, Rachael seems uncomfortable with the fact that Ben is said to be the vote and is saying she would prefer someone else to go. But like c’mon you can’t deny he hasn’t been social, and even if I had a friendship with somebody before a game, if they aren’t active I’m voting them out. Also I lied to my tribe a couple times this round because I’m lazy.

UGH. We LOST the challenge!!! And it wasn't even close *grumbles angrily* But it's okay. I'm gonna have to work my pussy out to this entire tribe to make them keep me around! I feel pretty good about this, I believe the target is leaning towards Ben but we'll have to wait and see. I don't think it's possible rn but I'm hoping for a swap soon so I can feel a little more re-energized in this game because my tribe has been super quiet lately... I think people will try to move the vote around so I'm going to use my current lack of employment as an opportunity to make myself stay alive on this tribe lmao

These guys are being super boring and either Jake is dumber than i thought, or shadier than i gave him credit for. Xavier might be trying to play me but regardless its doubtful ill stay. John seems to have the most chance of winning out of these four as hes not overplaying. Kevin hasnt spoken to me since the colin vote and it pisses me off that I might be going home after being one of two people that worked on the challenge when kevin was taken off the chopping block immediately for playing jeopardy. i hate this tribe.

....five seconds later

Johns out, Jake too by the sound of it. Time for plan B, which never works but might as well try. Fake idol time.

Oof well the uhh, “obvious friend group” has picked their target and it just so happens to be the only person I’ve made an actual alliance with :/ Poor DeNara. I really didn’t want to have to vote her off this early if I didn’t have to and then the worst part is she didn’t even hear it from me. Nobody is even mentioning game right now and Rachael is acting legitimately surprised to me when I came to her saying “okay this is an easier vote than I thought”.. even tho Ben claimed he had already talked to her..?? Idk man I must’ve done something wrong along the way but these people LEGITIMATELY don’t talk to me. My instant reaction is leaning towards being bitter but bitterness doesn’t really get me anywhere :/ I feel kinda.. out of it rn emotionally just because of everything else I have going on so if I seem more reserved tonight at tribal than usual, that’s why. I just hope that I’m not still stuck on that damn mountain rolling my dumbass rock back up only to get knocked back down again. I’m remaining optimistic for the future.. let’s keep winning some challenges mmkay

Okay good news, I shouldn't be leaving. But that being said DeNara, you have goT TO PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER. She's packing her bags and from my knowledge she's going to be fine tonight. Hopefully it'll be Ben who's going but DeNara giving up like this isn't helPING.

....five seconds later

Also I am in two alliances which is cool I guess.

Oops....... and now I'm controlling this vote I think :) It feels good. I don't know what my plan is !! I'm lying to everyone. I basically put myself in a position to be the 4th person in both votes and I love it so much. I keep telling ppl I'm an emotional mess and I think I'll milk that because SOMEONE is going to get betrayed tonight... love that for me. Rachael, Nik, and Ben want to vote out DeNara Mo, Kailyn, and DeNara want to vote out Ben And tbh I would prefer Rachael or Nik!! Since neither of those things are happening I guess it's up to me to decide which way I wanna swing... I hate/love myself for this. I think there are good cases for both people to leave, because I think that getting rid of DeNara strengthens bonds I never had with Rachael and co. while getting rid of Ben just makes me their enemy. Honestly I am starting to lean towards getting rid of DeNara for that sole purpose alone. It'll be messy for sure. Ben provides NOTHING to the game right now and I hate the fact that he announced in his intro that he's just here to backstab people... but villains don't win unless they're sitting next to another villain. He's the goat to me and Rachael right now, but pretty homos like me always win xx I might regret this decision down the road but HOPEFULLY whichever side I take will pay me back in protection down the line. I think I have the charm to smooth shit over w Kailyn and Mo but its up for determination. I think that I have the finesse to beat Rachael in a vote, too, but I don't want to put her back up against the wall just yet..... ;) Anyways... I hope this isn't my last confessional. I wasn't having fun until I found my place. Let's get it on.

It is me or Ben tonight. Guess we will find out who...

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queen-of-deans-booty · 4 years

Text

Sympathy for the Devil: Final Part

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,278

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: the first episode of season 5! let me know what you think!

I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

“We need a doctor!” you yelled as you entered the nearest hospital. Sam and Dean carried your dad inside as your heart pounded in anticipation. The nurse who heard came rushing over to help to see what the problem was.

“What happened?”

“He was stabbed!”

“Can we get a gurney?” she yelled for one as two male nurses brought one.

“Daddy, you’re going to be okay,” you let the tears fall as he was placed gently on the gurney. He looked at you as they wheeled him away, and you went to follow him but the female nurse stopped you.

“Just wait here.”

“We can’t just leave him! He’s my dad!” you yelled at her.

“Just don't move. I've got questions,” she said once she left.

“Y/N, we got to go,” Dean urged.

“No! No! I can’t leave him!” your tears rolled down your cheeks.

“The demons heard where the sword is. We got to get to it before they do, if we're not too late already. He’s in good hands now. We’ll be back in no time,” he said as he grabbed your hand. He forced you out of the hospital and into the car so that they can rush to New York to one of John’s lockup storages.

As soon as Dean arrived at the lockup, you only grabbed your gun from the trunk since you won’t be needing anything else. Sam and Dean grabbed their shotguns with rock salt since that is the only thing to actually hurt a demon.

Entering the lockup, the first thing you saw was bodies on the floor. Demons if you were going to guess. There were about 4 demons dead on the ground. No other person in sight to tell you who had done it. Entering the lockup, you looked around to try and figure out if the culprit was still inside.

“I see you told the demons where the sword is,” Zachariah said from behind you with two angel escorts.

“Oh, thank god. The angels are here,” Dean said sarcastically.

“And to think... they could have grabbed it any time they wanted,” he said as he used his angelic powers to close the storage door. “It was right in front of them.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck's skull, but it happened to be true. We did lose the Michael sword. We truly couldn't find it. Until now. You've just hand-delivered it to us.”

“Get to the damn point, Zachariah. I am in no mood to be fucked with right now,” you growled.

“It’s you, Dean. You’re the Michael sword. What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. And not much of one.”

“Yeah, but I’m not,” you said as you stepped in front of Dean. “I’m a vessel, do you remember? Do you remember who for?”

“Amara does not exist. She is not real; therefore, you can’t be her vessel. Whatever lies you are being told, that’s just it. They are lies. Dean on the other hand, he’s Michael’s weapon. Or rather his receptacle.”

“I'm a vessel?”

“You're the vessel. Michael's vessel.”

“How? Why—why me?”

“Because you're chosen! It's a great honor, Dean.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks.”

“Joking. Always joking. Well... no more jokes,” he grinned before holding up his hands in the shape of a finger guns. He pointed one at Sam and the other at you. “Bang.”

A loud crunch could be heard as Sam fell to the ground with broken legs. Your spine broke and you fell to the ground once you were paralyzed. Dean looked at the two of you as you cried out in pain. Not even your magic could heal you of this.

“You son of a bitch!” Dean yelled at Zachariah.

“Keep mouthing off, I'll break more than his legs and her spine. I am completely and utterly through screwing around. The war has begun. We don't have our general. That's bad. Now, Michael is going to take his vessel and lead the final charge against the adversary. You understand me?”

“How many humans die in the crossfire, huh? A million? Five, ten?”

“Probably more. If Lucifer goes unchecked, you know how many die? All of them. He'll roast the planet alive.”

“There's a reason you're telling me this instead of just nabbing me. You need my consent. Michael needs my say-so to ride around in my skin,” Dean said. Looking at Sam, you two made eye contact to the best of your ability without having the option to move your lower body. Using your arms instead, you raised yourself to your elbows to look at Dean.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Well, there's got to be another way.”

“There is no other way. There must be a battle. Michael must defeat the serpent. It is written.”

“Yeah, maybe. But, on the other hand... Eat me. The answer's no.”

“Okay. How about this? Your friend Bobby, Y/N’s father—we know he's gravely injured. Say yes, and we'll heal him. Say no, he'll never walk again.”

“Dean don’t do it,” you sighed shakily.

“No.”

“Then how about we heal you from... stage-four stomach cancer?” he asked just as Dean doubled over in pain. He started coughing and spit blood into the palm of his hand.

“Dean!” you gasped, hating the fact that you had no chance to stop this.

“No,” Dean gasped.

“Then let's get really creative. Uh, let's see how... Sam does without his lungs. Maybe Y/N’s brain pops and explodes.”

Sam immediately started gasping for breath since he didn’t have any lungs anymore. Your brain started popping which was extremely painful. It was like one big migraine that no medicine could heal.

“Dean,” you yelled as blood started pouring from your eyes. The whites started to turn red, and you doubled over and coughed up blood. “Don’t do it.”

“Are we having fun yet? You're going to say yes, Dean,” Zachariah smiled.

“Just kill us.”

“Kill you? Oh, no. I'm just getting started,” he grinned. A bright white light shone from the other end of the room as one of the angels died. The body fell to the floor to reveal Castiel, but you were in so much pain to even appreciate the angel. The other angel that Zachariah came with started to fight Castiel, but you couldn’t focus on them.

The only thing on your mind was Dean and your dad who was all alone at the hospital. However, he did it, the angel died and now it was only Castiel and Zachariah to face off.

“How are you—”

“Alive?” he interrupted. “That's a good question. How did these two end up on that airplane? Another good question. 'Cause the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?”

“No. That's not possible.”

“It scares you. Well, it should. Now, put these boys and Y/N back together and go. I won't ask twice,” he threatened. As soon as Zachariah vanished in a flutter of wings, all your pain went away. Your brain didn’t hurt and your spine was fixed. Quickly standing up, you rushed to Dean to check on him and once he nodded signaling he was alright, you rushed to Castiel and gave him a hug. He didn’t hug back but stood there awkwardly, waiting for you to finish.

“I thought you died,” you whispered.

“I did.”

“I’m glad you’re back,” you nodded with a smile, going back over to the brothers.

“You three need to be more careful.”

“Yeah, I'm starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought.”

“I don't mean the angels. Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to protect you,” he said just as he placed both his hands on the brother’s chest. They winced in pain before Castiel did the same thing to you. A burning sensation came from your ribs, and you pulled back in pain.

“What the hell was that?” you asked.

“An Enochian sigil. It'll hide you from every angel in creation, including Lucifer.”

“What, did you just brand us with it?”

“No. I carved it into your ribs.”

“Castiel, who brought you back to life?” you asked with a whisper. If you had to guess, it would be God, but you needed to be sure. However, the angel didn’t answer and vanished before your eyes.

“Dad,” you gasped, rushing out the door to hurry back to your father.

Time seemed to slow down as you rushed into the hospital. The brothers tried to keep up with you, but you needed to see your dad.

“Where is my dad? Bobby Singer!” you asked the receptionist. Before she had a chance to answer, a nurse was calling your name from behind.

“Y/N Singer? Your father is this way,” he seemed relieved in a way, but you didn’t care. Leaving the brother’s behind, you went with the nurse to a private room. As soon as you approached the door, you could hear his voice yelling at whoever was inside.

“Unlikely to walk again?! Why, you snot-nosed son of a bitch! Wait till I get out of this bed!” he yelled. The doctor fled the room just as the nurse accompanied him. Rushing into the room, you looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“I'll use my game leg and kick your fucking ass! Yeah, you better run!” your dad yelled after the doctor. “You believe that yahoo?”

“Are you okay? I should have done something sooner,” you walked to him to try and comfort him.

“I’m fine, Y/N. Really, I am,” he sighed and placed his hand on yours in comfort.

“So, let me ask the million-dollar question. What do we do now?” Sam asked.

“Well... We save as many as we can for as long as we can, I guess. It's bad. Whoever wins, heaven or hell, we're boned.”

“What if we win?” Dean asked, a bit too confident. Everyone stared at him in concern. “I'm serious. I mean, screw the angels and the demons and their crap apocalypse. Hell, they want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take 'em all on. We kill the devil. Hell, we even kill Michael if we have to. But we do it our own damn selves.”

“And how are we supposed to do all this, genius?” your dad asked.

“I got no idea. But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell attitude, and I'll figure it out.”

“You are nine kinds of crazy, boy.”

“Listen, you stay on the mend. We'll see you in a bit,” Dean patted his shoulder before leaving the room.

“Sam?” he asked. Sam stopped walking but didn’t say anything. “I was awake. I know what I said back there. I just want you to know that... that was the demon talking. I ain't cutting you out, boy. Not ever.”

“Thanks Bobby,” Sam whispered.

“You're welcome. I deserve a damn medal for this, but... you're welcome.” Sam left the room and you looked at your father.

“I tried to help. That demon was too strong. I tried to fight his powers,” you stuttered.

“Hey, look at me,” he interrupted you. “This is not your fault and you need to believe it. I will be fine. I’m alive thanks to you and the boys. I’ll be okay.”

“I love you,” you said as you hugged him.

“I love you too. Now get out of here and save the damn world.”

“Okay,” you nodded with a smile before reluctantly leaving. The brothers were waiting for you outside.

“You know, I was thinking, Dean—maybe we could go after the Colt,” Sam said just as you joined them.

“Why? What difference would that make?”

“Well, we could use it on Lucifer. I mean, you just said back there—”

“I just said a bunch of crap for Bobby's benefit,” he interrupted his brother.

“Dean,” you sighed.

“It’s true. I mean, I'll fight. I'll fight till the last man, but let's at least be honest. I mean, we don't stand a snowball's chance, and you know that. I mean, hell, you of all people know that,” he directed that to his brother.

“Is there something you want to say to me?”

“I tried, Sammy. I mean, I really tried. But I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not. And it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother and look what happened.”

“I would give anything—anything—to take it all back,” he sighed.

“I know you would. And I know how sorry you are. I do. But, man... you were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even... I'm just—I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?”

“What can I do?” Sam asked.

“Honestly? Nothing.”

“Dean, we have to try,” you tried.

“No, I already tried. I just don't... I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know? I just don't think I can trust you.”

Sam looked up at his brother in shock. He was expecting everything else but not this. Deans shook his head and walked away, back to the car.

“It’s okay Sam,” you said as you patted his shoulder in comfort. “You still have me.”

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troofless · 4 years

Text

Just finished watching a walkthrough of Tales of Zestiria, and I must say it is as HYPE as its opening.

My favourite parts:

Sorey and Mikleo bickering — actually, every sormik scene

I swear 99.9% of Mikleo revolves around Sorey, the other 0.1% is him getting teased by everyone (this could be his biggest writing strength and flaw depending on who you ask)

The opening song. A BANGERRRRRR

The different branching routes you can take in Ladylake. Sell the knife? The pipe? Don’t sell both? Sell the pipe later on to get a cool hat as well? How do you enter the Sacred Blade ceremony? YOU CAN CHOOSE

Mikleo leaving Sorey, in the game: Oh don’t worry, Mikleo will be fine, I trust Mikleo to take care of himself :) :)

In the anime: dkjasfnlD MIKLEO DID WHAT??! LAILAH WE MUST GO AFTER MIKLEO RIGHT AWAY

Tbh the argument ‘arc’ he has with Sorey? One of the best parts of the game.

'Does a frog think of getting rid of snakes?’ ‘OH SO AM I A FROG NOW?’ ‘Your LIABILITY will be waiting in the inn’

When in the manga this slow burn (JUST GET CONTRACTED WITH MIKLEO ALREADY) gets extended to after Sorey contracts with Edna

When Mikleo calls Sorey out on his blindness in a skit THEY NOTICE EVERYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER OKAY

Yeah also, just thinking about how Sorey’s known Mikleo’s true name for a long time now HNNNRNNHSDGGGGGHHHH

Mikleo using his rod not as a conduit for magic but as a whacking tool. He has a mystic arte Crystal Rod where he throws his rod at the enemy saying NOPE (best...) and a mystic arte Final Player where he uses it like a hammer saying “I’ll crush you! Again! Again and again!!” smacking the enemy into the ground LOLLLL

That One Mystic Arte where Edna rides on her umbrella like it’s a flying broomstick and shoots out earth rocks with a finger gun

Zaveid coming out of nowhere at random times, busting out his persona shooting himself in the head and demanding that they fight him

Rose shaking her hands with Sorey at supersonic speed when Sorey gets her to hear the seraphim and she thinks she’s hearing ghosts

The whole ‘we’re married’ scene when they get to Rolance, and the whole joke of Sergei continuing to think Rose and Sorey are married

Dezel laughing at Lailah’s lame animal jokes in the background

Dezel not being able to see, but that’s okay… because he can read the wind!

Dezel being the walking encyclopaedia for all animals and plants bc he’s been everywhere

Rose wants to catch a butterfly and sell it for money, but Dezel interjects and tells her it’s a ‘shae monyurose’ moth, so Rose gives up on catching it, saying people don’t pay a lot for moths

Another skit where Sorey and Rose want to catch these rabbits to eat, (they’re cute... AND delicious.) Dezel is horrified and chases them away by shouting really loudly (HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??!!)

Everyone who plays Zestiria complaining about how Alisha isn’t a permanent team member, then having mixed debates about whether the anime saved or broke the story with Alisha-Armatization

ZAVEID RUNNING DOWN A WALL

“My way is to put the hellions back in hell” Zaveid says while doing the Dio pose

WRYYYYYYY

I love how he just appears out of nowhere and gets him to fight you, multiple times, in both Zestiria AND Berseria

Dezel suggesting they could just fly all the way to the top but Sorey and Mikleo go “But we WANT to see the ruins...!”

In the bad ending Heldalf is just like ‘nothin doing… just standing here…’ when the team goes in and slays him

Heldalf: You want to defeat me, right? But if you do, you can’t get the TRUE ending… bitch

Sorey:

I love how Rose and Alisha are uncommon heroines, using lances and twin blades instead of magic (Mikleo takes that one, hah).

It’s like the writers of Zestiria were like Hmm. How do we explore the dark elements in this game by showing how people in Age of Chaos possess immense malevolence in their hearts and align it to the main story, and then went, Got it. Assassins. (Story of how Shepherd Sorey went gallivanting around with a princess *cough cough redactedbecauseshedoesn’texistinthegame* and an assassin~~)

Mikleo: Zaveid, there is literally NO REASON for us to fight. At all.

Zaveid: You gotta beat this ass first

And I think that is very sexy of him

Apparently if you take Dezel out of your team during the third fight with Zaveid, he will yell at you

Zaveid, T-posing on the ground: oh don’t mind me, just setting death flags for the only other wind seraph in this game so I can fill the XXX-shaped hole in your team later on in the game. Also here, take my glock

Dezel 🤝Eizen

being the same person

GIVE ME THE HIDDEN DEZEL AND ZAVEID LORE (but Dezel doesn’t appear in Berseria…)

Rose “I just noticed, whenever Mikleo gets angry, it always has something to do with Sorey” after merchants look at Sorey and think he’s a con artist Shepherd, then in a later skit comments that No, that’s not true Mikleo does get angry even when it doesn’t involve Sorey, then Sorey says, Nah, he’s not angry, just overreacting.

When the plot says Sorey and Mikleo were destined to be the Shepherd and Sub Lord all along :o :v :O

THEY ARE FRIGGIN MARRIED OKAY

BOTH OF THEM. FROM THE SAME VILLAGE. BABIES. RED STRING OF FATE AAAAAA

Sorey and Mikleo in a skit talking about how they’re not really affected by their past bc their real family now is Elysia. It’s a really quiet and sweet moment.

Zaveid in a skit doing flower fortune readings bc he’s worried that the group hates him bc he was all FIGHT ME! before, but Lailah cheers him up with her own flower fortune telling (‘Uh, your origami flower only has... one petal Lailah’) saying Zaveid is their friend AWWWW

GIVE ME THE HIDDEN LAILAH AND ZAVEID LOREEEEEE

gdi I know we see more Pacifist!Zaveid in Berseria but I want a sequel nowwwwww

Sorey and Mikleo having a final conversation under the stars

SOREY FILLS IN MIKLEO ON HIS PLAN breaking the trope of not telling his team that he’s going to save the world by disappearing

One of the main messages Zestiria delivers is how one person shouldn’t take all the burden on themselves and how Sorey learns to rely on other people

Like Lailah staying silent bc of her oath and how that pains her

Like Mikleo... forming a pact with Sorey.....

God I love Zestiria for breaking tropes everywhere

Did I mention how Alisha and Rose have such good platonic relationships with Sorey? Yeah and you can take out the romantic hinting and it is still a good relationship? Without any shoehorning of ‘forced het couple’?

Sorey calling back to the time he had to close his senses to get Alisha to hear Lailah, tying it back into the main plot!!!! :o GALAXY BRAIN

SOREY PUTTING DEZEL’S HAT ON IN THE STARRY SKY CUTSCENE AND ROSE AND ZAVEID TRYING TO TAKE IT BACK

How the hell is Muse alive and not, like, a hag

Love how the final part is Sorey going “I’ll defeat you with the power of friendship!! And this gun I found”

*flashback to AFOvsAll Might* Sorey: You thought it was over with that punch? I have TWO HANDS!!!!

Ok no lie the final fight was epic

THIS... IS MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!

fsdljfnsdkflsfs;fsf look all the seraphim went into the battle not expecting to live and Sorey went in fully expecting to kill his seraphim friends and prepared to KILL

Compared to the start when Sorey was full-out 'don’t kill hellions Zaveid how could you!!!!’, you can see how the darker themes shine here

What I wouldn’t give for a corrupted!Sorey though, I was expecting it bc of clips I saw on Youtube BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! Lowkey sad tho. Would love an arc where Sorey gets overcome by malevolence and becomes, like a jerk, but as like a morally grey character not fully blown evil (like Jerk Rose ig)

The epilogue with everyone!!! The Lord of the Lands (yeah Uno is very pretty)!!! Lucas!!!! Sergei and Alisha!!! The little drawings in the credits detailing Sorey’s journey!!!! Awwww

Overall a happy ending for Sorey and friends which is GREAT

SMOL SOREY AND MIKLEO EXPLORING RUIN TRAPS AT THE END

oh god I swear they are lowkey married they just don’t mention it to anyone look if you go back and play the whole thing with that in mind NOTHING ABOUT THE PLOT CHANGES

Mikleo my friend you have too many cape thingys on your back PLEASE

The callback to Sorey catching Mikleo though is so cute. In the anime we get the callback to “So this is the world!” htgdgmfgmmmmgfg idk the anime is one hole I don’t want to explore rn

sfaljdfsdlf but yeah though the epilogue was nice and clean and up to reader’s imagination, I wished they expanded more on the epilogue (LET US SEE SOREY..... *fighting back tears*), at least THANKS TO THE ANIME we get to see post-Heldalf Alisha and Rose tho hnggggrrgh

*chanting* D-L-C, didn’t know they had a D-L-C

DLC

ROSALI VIBES jkahdfjksdfs give it all to meeeee

Rose and Alisha catfighting sjdnflsjdfadfhgnfghth THIS IS THE ICONIC ROSALI VIBE I SWEAR

Because of this, this DLC is now elevated to god standards

Edna and Lailah casually talking while Rose and Alisha roll in the background LMAOOOO

Rose must be the most unconventional Shepherd ever and that is GREAT

Bruh is Alisha wearing an abbreviated costume of Mikleo’s

Anyway she’s so cute in her DLC outfit!!!

Alisha ditching keigo is so. Very. Cute.

Alisha and Sorey: :) :D :)))

Alisha and Rose: Bitch. }:( >:V

Love the girl’s party vibe, and how we get cameos of Zaveid and Mikleo (LET US SEE MORE DEVASTATED MIKLEO PLEASE....) along the way

Sadly no more DLC episodes :( wonder why that got axed, bc fans didn’t like it?

Overall I must say the Zestiria cast is awesome, I really like all the characters and how they are fleshed out very neatly with their own quirks and goals. Edna being god tier with her monotone sarcasm (she is QUEEN....), Zaveid being that dumbass that looks like a stripper (HIM.... baby...), Mikleo being ultimate waifu and how his comedic moments shine with Edna and everyone else when he’s being teased, Sorey being so pure and cute when he geeks out with Mikleo and how his character arc is just such a refreshing take on the hero archetype, Dezel with his stoicness Imma Get Revenge but also his cast knowledge and love for animals, Rose for exploring the side of reality in the malevolence in people’s hearts and her :3 smile and her determination to get things done and how she’s so different from Sorey which only brings out her charm, Lailah with her awful puns and eccentricity and quiet compassion. And uh, Alisha for being the bait-and-switch heroine but a decent character with her own personal goals that are separate from the main character. Sergei and Lucas are also very lovable.

As for the setting, Rolance and Hyland as two kingdoms seem a little small scale compared to lets say if they added one more kingdom, but seeing as this is a 2015 game I think the exploration map is pretty good (then I compare to Xenoblade Chronicles which came out in 2010 and just change the subject). Love the outside game mechanics Giant’s Fist, Wind Stepping and Water Shield (when Mikleo protects Sorey with that!!! And Sorey calls him out by saying he’s been practicing it for a long time... And you recall every time Mikleo asks Dezel and the other older seraphim to teach him stuff so he can get stronger to help Sorey and how 99.9% of his character revolves around Sorey). ‘That spinny mist thing sure gets the job done’ haha.

Anyway, great game and plot, please go check out if you have time, esp rn since animes and other games coming out will be stalled it is a great time to check out older games aaaaaaa

#troofless stuff #zestiria mumblings

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thisvaryingexistence · 5 years

Text

My thoughts on Code Geass: Lelouch of the Re;surrection

So I finally saw the Code Geass movie last night and OH MAN DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS.

First of all I think I should start this out by saying this series came into my life at a very weird time I’d say. I first watched the show when I was in 7th grade (13 years old) and I don’t know why but it stuck with me. As soon as the last episode finished I immediately hit start on episode 1 (ah the good old days when Bandai had all the episodes on Youtube) to see what I was missing my first viewing. Since then I have easily watched the series over 10 times over both in English and Japanese. The show (and the fanfiction let’s be real here) got me through a lot of tough times. In my freshmen year of high school, I really took a turn for the worst and seriously thought I would die before I turned 15. That was when I met @projectcluclu and she (along with the show) became a really key part of my life. Her fics really made me fall in love with the pairing Lelouch and CC even more than I already had been with before. The pairing itself became a real comfort for me and just. TLDR: Code Geass is really important to me.

Writing now as a junior in college (20 years old), I could still say this series has my heart. Have I grown older now and seen many other things (mostly not anime related things)? Yes. Do I notice the endless plotholes in the story and how certain characters I once hated are actually okay and the characters I thought were flawless could actually be rather despicable? Yes again. But this story as a whole still makes my heart go BOOM.

NOW TO THE MOVIE!

So when I first heard they were making a movie I rolled my eyes. I get it was an anniversary and the show had had many other specials before such as Lelouch’s Birthday, Nunnally in Wonderland, etc. However, this one was going to make or break this show. The creators seemed to know this and pulled something I laugh so hard at but at the same time THEY KNOW THEY GET TO MAKE THE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. After realizing that “oh shit. We really did have the perfect ending. Legit half the viewers are going to be upset no matter what we do” they decided. “YOU ALL CAN THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT. This is an alternate reality.” Now, to me this was a cop out for sure. They knew no matter what they did, someone would be upset. Even I joked around with my sister and said if Lelouch got with anyone else but CC in the movie I would burn all my Code Geass merch. Still, the war still goes on from the original show whether he is dead or not. The creators wanted the ending to be ambiguous, but couldn’t even handle the inner-fandom war when the ending first happened over 10 years ago that they were like HE IS DEAD STOP FIGHTING.

All that being said, I obviously knew I had to see this movie. I’ll admit the spoilers that it was a CluClu ending did give me a slight push to hit buy tickets on my online order, but I knew it was important to my sister and I. We drove an hour away to go see it and the theater was actually pretty damn packed. We anticipated being 2 of like 7 people there but it was FILLED. It was pretty cool to here people talking about the timeline under their breath and getting excited about the movie. So the movie. My God I laughed so hard. Like tears were streaming from my face. First, I saw it in English. I love my Johnny Young Lelouch so much and Kate Higgins as CC is great. Everyone else had the same voices as well but. It literally appeared everyone but CC forgot how to say Suzaku’s name and called him “Sooz-a-koo.” Legit sounded like fucking Shinjuki. The first time LELOUCH said it I was like who he is talking ab- OMFG ARE YOU KIDDING ME. My sister and I were in tears and I was shaking so bad. The new characters got me confused. Where the fuck was this big ass nation in the show? (Obviously non-existent as this is an alternate universe”) But I was like what is geass did anyone at the studio actually figure it out? In the show they got nowhere close to explaining it, but we got a very good understanding on what it does, it’s limitations, who had it and why, etc. This movie was like oh you have geass?! CHECK MINE OUT! The princess (at least I think she was a princess) was weird? That scene with her and her brother in the bath after she saw her prophecy was fucked. I laughed so hard again as everyone around me was saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? With these new characters, why is Cornelia now the head of them?

My brain did not take it seriously and just laughed at how crack-fic this movie was. They showed almost every character and it was beautiful and almost bought me to actually cry no matter how weirdly they were placed and who they were placed with. Like why was Schneizel with Rakshata?? In a daycare place?? Why?? Ohgi and Viletta’s wedding though. My heart exploded Lloyd and Rakshata dancing? I approve. THE BABY? I approve.

The main characters. I know it has been ten years and it could be seen, and there were definitely moments where they were, out of character. One thing I saw a lot of before I saw it was that CC was out of character because she cared so much for Lelouch but to me? I think she was pretty in character. It had been a long time for her and Lelouch. As soon as Lelouch died, Shirley bought his body to CC and she had to take care of him as they looked for his lost consciousness. I imagine she was a bitch in the beginning to him but quickly realized she did this.

She did this.

She is the reason Lelouch is alive at all.

This is why I believe she was in character. It shows how she is not a stagnant character from the beginning of the story. When first knowing about her in episode five of the series, it was clear she was a stone cold bitch who made her own rules for her life (which makes her CC my favorite character so I’m not saying this as a bad thing). As the show moved forward, we saw her at her most vulnerable and how as a child she was desperate for someone to love her. After her own geass story and her immortality, she saw quickly it must have not been in the cards for her and how she was “utterly alone.” Even as she and Lelouch started to become closer to each other, she was rather distant. I don’t think she really let it show how important he had become to her until her backstory episode 15 of R2 when she would not let him take her immortality. Even when she was dying, mind you the only reason she went after Lelouch in the first place, she was crying at the thought of leaving. In the penultimate episode of the series, she and Lelouch had a very touching scene that Kallen had to ruin, but she voiced her care for him. Therefore, in the movie when it shows her caring so much for him, I do not find it out of character for her. It was already shown in the show and sound episodes that she was not sure what she thought her feelings for Lelouch were and she was confused and frightened by them. She was afraid she ruined his life by giving him the power in the first place, and she was selfish enough to do it again by reviving him knowing full well he intended to die for all the things he did in the rebellion.

I teared up at the trailer watching CC cry trying to find Lelouch in C’s world. You could tell that man is her new “meaning for living” so to say and she realized how close she was to losing him again. I teared up when they were in the knightmare and Lelouch was about to issue a surrender. She pulled her gun on him similar to episode 7 of the show and told him this was not the Lelouch she knew and bought back. That moment of shaky tears and words made Lelouch into his self again. They are the missing pieces the other has always lacked. They are better off together and they know it. Another reason why the scene at the end hit so strong when he told her he would follow LL and abandon the name Lelouch. He was stating how he was ready to let go of his past and begin a new life with her. Her face welling up and crying. Those scenes of them together were my favorite parts of the movie for the obvious ship reason but also for the fact that I felt more connections to the original story and the characters seemed to be staying true to their old selves.

Lelouch. He was pretty much in character. I do believe leaving Nunnally to make her own choices and let her grow up is something he would do. After all the lessons CC told him about keeping people you love at a distance. He was a little more flirty than usual but again? The scenes that mattered the most, he was Lelouch.

Suzaku. Excuse me Soozakoo was a pretty much his character from R2. Kind of a douchebag with a heart of gold. His scenes with Lelouch were very very in character and really touching.

Kallen was a little out of character. The one scene that touched my heart is when she cried (which by the way was fucking hilarious because the English cry was so bad) when Lelouch kept staring at her with his dead eyes. That was a really beautiful scene and I could admit that even though I despise the two of them together.

Everyone else was pretty much thrown in with no explanation. Ohgi apologizing to Lelouch made 0, no pun intended, sense. Cornelia leading this new nation? This new nation of a whole? How did Lelouch know where everything was and how to work this foreign computer network and equipment? Why was mostly everyone else not phased by the fact that Lelouch was alive? So many things were not explained in this movie.

THE ANIMATION. The characters were beautiful as ever but damn. Sometimes they left blobs and mouths moving and it was so funny. The close up shot of the camels had me laughing in my seat.

THE ENDING. And I mean the post-credit ending. I feel like the creators found this famous fanart of Lelouch and CC:

And were like LET’S GO WITH THAT! They were pretty much dressed like this and looked like they were having a wedding type thing? But they gave a weird vampire feel which was hm. Okay?

Overall, this movie was what it was. An anniversary movie to give the fans and give some more spotlight on Lelouch and CC’s relationship. In the moments it had its key characters, it was beautiful. Hell, it was all beautiful. However, it really did feel I was watching a crack-fic fanfiction in HD. That being said, I would not change anything about this movie. My heart is so full and I was smiling the entire time. So glad I got to go see it!

#code geass #rant #movie #anime #lelouch x cc #my thoughts

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losingmymindtonight · 6 years

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Ooooh - you ask me for fluff??? Have you considered TONY AND PETER WATCHING MERLIN??????? All the way from the adorkable beginning to the angsty angsty end??? Bcs I'm betting Tony would have some jokes about Merlin keeping his secret about as well as Peter does. 😂😂

I was born to write this

Today is Merlin’s 10 year anniversary! I miss my dumb boys…

Merlin spoilers ahead!

Also this… might not make any sense at all if you haven’t watched Merlin? I couldn’t really help it.

“What’re we watching, again?”

Peter plopped down beside Tony and tucked himself into the man’s side, a maneuver perfected through countless days of practice. “It’s an old BBC show called Merlin.”

“And why are we watching it?”

“Because MJ told me that if I didn’t, she’d spoil the ending.” Peter blinked up at him innocently. Tony sort of hated that it wasn’t an act. The kid really was that pure. “And because you said we could binge watch whatever I wanted.”

He had said that, to be fair.

It was Peter’s spring break, and May was out of town. At May’s request, he’d happily volunteered to have the kid over for the week. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Peter to be alone for that long, exactly…

Okay, actually, yeah. Neither he nor May trusted the kid to be alone for that long.

Could anyone blame them? He was a magnet for trouble. Tony was surprised Peter could walk five steps on the street without someone trying to detach his head from his body.

And so, in the name of what May called his “co-parental service hours,” Tony’s weekend would be spent watching a cancelled BBC show and living off of microwave popcorn and delivered pizzas.

He guessed that there were definitely worse things to be doing.

“So,” Peter maneuvered through the Netflix interface like it was a second skin. He tried not to be jealous, “give me a rundown. On what kind of journey are we about to embark?”

“It’s a show about Merlin-”

“Holy shit, I would’ve never guessed…”

“Hey!” Peter laughed, hovering the mouse over the first episode. “It’s like a ‘what if?’ story. What if Merlin and Arthur were the same age, and Merlin was Arthur’s servant instead of this wise old wizard? It’s supposed to be really good.”

I can’t wait. “Alright, kid. Let’s have at it.”

Peter hit play and tossed the remote onto the coffee table, leaning his head against the top of Tony’s chest as the first scene faded into view.

“No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will, in time, father the legend. His name: Merlin.”

And, damn it, Tony could already feel himself drawing the parallels between the gangly kid on the screen and the gangly kid curled up next to him.

Peter had no idea, did he? He couldn’t see the path that Tony saw winding further every day.

He had no idea that he was going to change the world.

He watched the Evil King character execute some random sorcerer with a weird taste in his mouth.

It felt too real, too present. Too close to what Tony imaged Ross would do to Peter if he ever got his hands on him…

He shook the thoughts away. No. This was supposed to be fun. They were binge watching a lighthearted show over the kid’s spring break. The occasion did not lend itself to thoughts like that.

He decided that he liked Gaius from the old physician’s very first scene. He voiced that thought to Peter, quietly, during a lull in the dialogue.

“Why?”

Tony shrugged. “He’s gonna suffer.”

Peter dropped his head back, craning his neck painfully, to stare up at his mentor with wide eyes. “He is?”

He chuckled, letting the sound release some of the tension from Peter’s gaze. “Of course he is. His job is to keep the reckless kid alive. It’s not easy, let me tell you.”

Peter hit Tony with a pillow, and the episode rolled on.

“Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?”

A flare of protectiveness for his Peter-stand in flared in Tony’s chest.

He shifted Peter a little closer, as if protecting his kid would protect the one on the screen as well.

He decided all at once that he didn’t like Arthur. He didn’t like him even a little bit.

“He’s an asshole.”

Peter seemed unperturbed. He played with the cuff of Tony’s shirt lazily, eyes tracking the scene. “People can change, Mister Stark. You did, didn’t you?” The kid smiled his special, unburdened smile. “Give him a chance.”

It occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, he hated Arthur because the prince reminded him of an outdated version of himself.

Young, brazen, self-centered, cruel. Blind to the ways his actions could hurt and maim and kill. Following doggedly in the over-sized footsteps his father left. Driven by false arrogance, one-size-fits-all ideals, and overwhelming bitterness on his tongue.

He sighed. “Sure, kid. I’ll give Prince Asshole a chance.”

As it turned out, his forced sympathy for Arthur his deadbeat dad was a lot harder to hold onto than he thought it might be.

This Merlin character really knew how to look like a kicked puppy.

“I’m not a monster, am I?”

“Don’t ever think that.”

Tony tightened his grip around Peter’s back at the same moment the teenager shifted to cling tighter.

He wanted to tell the kid that Gaius was right, and that Prince Asshole was wrong. He wanted to tell him that Merlin wasn’t a monster. That nobody could help who they were, and that it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

He wanted to tell Peter that he wasn’t a monster, a freak, a mistake. He wanted to make sure he knew that Tony would tear down anyone who said otherwise.

Instead, he just smoothed a hand through Peter’s bangs and hoped he could feel it through the solidity of their half-embrace.

“If you can’t tell me, no one can.”

The first season fell away along with the daylight.

He watched Merlin, who he had to repetitively remind himself was not Peter, stumble through a million different mistakes. He watched him drink some poison (stupid), harbor some fugitive child right under the Evil King’s nose (stupid), and offer up his life in exchange for Prince Asshole’s (stupidstupidstupid).

It felt like every turn the character took made him want to smash his head into the nearest wall. Repetitively.

(On the other hand, Prince Asshole was slowly, and painfully, growing on him. Not that he was ready to admit that to Peter, of course.)

The final episode of the season faded into credits, and Tony wordlessly flicked off the TV.

“Hey.” The kid’s protest might have held more weight if his eyes weren’t closed and the words weren’t soft with sleepiness. “One more.”

Tony made sure to keep his voice low and soothing, carding his fingers through the kid’s mess of curls. “You won’t even concentrate on it.”

“Will too.”

“Oh?” He turned the screen back on, slyly lowering the volume and hitting play on the next episode. “Okay then, buddy. Whatever you say.”

Peter’s breaths had evened out before the opening sequence could finish.

That night, Tony decided that sleeping on the couch was way underrated.

There wasn’t even a question of what they’d be doing the next morning. He sent Peter wordlessly to shower, ordered a couple of pizzas, and hit play the moment that the kid was re-situated on the couch, wet curls soaking into the front of his t-shirt.

At some point in the middle of the season, during an episode about a witchfinder, he let out an involuntary groan.

It was almost like this kid didn’t want to keep his magic a secret. At the very least, it seemed like he jumped at nearly every opportunity to reveal himself.

Peter flickered his eyes away from the screen and gave Tony a questioning look. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “Merlin’s about as good at keeping his secret as you are at keeping yours.”

“That’s not true!” Peter’s glare just made him look younger. Tony nearly laughed at the way his face scrunched up. “Barely anybody knows I’m Spider-Man!”

“I figured it out, kid.”

“You’re you-”

“Ned.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was-”

“MJ.”

“She’s terrifyingly observant-”

“May.”

“She walked in on me!”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Tony ruffled his hair playfully. “Why don’t you just shout it from the rooftops, huh? Might be a little more efficient, that way.”

Peter blinked, then huffed, physically turning away from Tony and fixing his eyes back on the screen. It was a clear dismissal, despite the fact that didn’t move away from the warmth of his mentor’s side.

The second season’s finale went to credits, and Peter stalled Tony’s hand before he could switch off the TV.

“C’mon, Mister Stark! We could totally watch the next season! It’ll only take, like, a few more hours.”

“Your idea of ‘a few more hours’ is actually about 8 hours, kiddo.”

“And?”

“You need sleep.”

“We’ve stayed up later in the lab.”

“On accident.”

“So?”

He tried his best to mimic May’s I am an adult and you will listen to me voice. “No, Peter.”

He kid blinked up at him imploringly. “Please.”

(The third season was good.)

They watched the two part series finale on Tuesday morning.

And, frankly, Tony wasn’t sure what he’d expected. But it sure as hell wasn’t… that.

“Just, just, just… just hold me. Please.”

Peter curled himself around Tony with a little whine. He rubbed the kid’s back comfortingly, gaze still transfixed on the screen. “No. He’s not supposed to die, Mister Stark. He’s supposed to live. He’s-He’s the Once and Future King. What about Albion? What about Merlin?”

He wondered if he could sue the BBC for making his kid cry.

“There’s something I want to say…”

“You’re not going to say goodbye.”

“No. Merlin. Everything you’ve done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build…”

“You’d have done it without me.”

“Maybe. I want to say… something I’ve never said to you before. Thank you.”

He watched the character die with a weird feeling in his chest.

He’d never been one for sentiment in general, and certainly not for fictional characters. But… something about Merlin and Arthur had made him think of Peter and himself.

Peter’s voice was small. “Merlin would’ve trade places with him.”

Tony’s answer came so quickly that it surprised him. “Arthur would never want him to.”

You ever try trading places with me, kid, and I’ll kill you my damn self.

“But what’s the point?” There were undercurrents to Peter’s tone that told Tony they weren’t just talking about the show anymore. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one drawing parallels. “If I were Merlin, I’d rather die than live without Arthur.”

He tried not to hear the implicit I’d rather die than live without you in the kid’s words.

“Someone always dies first, kiddo. That’s just life.”

Peter buried his face into Tony’s shirt, sniffling a little. “Yeah, well, I don’t like it.”

He set a gentle hand on the back of his head, shielding him from the screen, the daylight, the world.

“I don’t like this ending, either.”

Tony took a deep breath, focusing on the way his ribs pressed into Peter’s at the apex. “If it makes you feel any better, kiddo, neither do I.”

He’d pondered his death a lot. Once, he’d thought towards it with a perverted sense of lust.

But Pepper, Rhodey, Peter had changed that. Now, he just felt a peaceful acceptance. He wouldn’t go rushing to his grave but, when the time came, he couldn’t see himself reeling against it, either.

But for the first time, he thought about Peter.

If everything went the way it naturally should, he would die long before the kid.

He’d get to die, and Peter would have to keep living.

His parents’ deaths still left a hollow ache in his chest. He missed his mother with every single breath.

Is that what he’d be doing to Peter, when he died? Leaving him damaged irreparably? Dooming him to a life of sewing up his tattered grief?

He swallowed, hard, and shook his head.

Peter would be okay, because he’d prepare Peter. He’d give him everything he needed to do more than just survive once he and May were both gone.

He was going to make sure Peter thrived.

And he’d do everything he could not to leave the kid like Arthur left Merlin, or like his mother left him. Not violently, not suddenly, not in the heart of some blood-stained tragedy.

He’d linger, if he could. He’d grow old (something he used to shudder at the thought of). He’d give the kid’s kids too much sugar and poke him with his cane and complain about the technology Peter would incorporate into his newest invention to shroud the pride.

As he watched the final credits role over the dark screen, Tony Stark decided that he hated tragedies.

He also decided that he wouldn’t let his own life become one.

#irondad fluff fest #merlin owns my soul #happy anniversary to my two special bois #and my og fandom #merlin spoilers #irondad #spiderson #tony & peter #tony stark #peter parker #losingmymindtonight writes

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